#truly the damage this game has done to me.

[beatcroc]

but how am i supposed to take clone-type characters in media seriously now if they aren't misshapen shambling horrors; not a reflection, but a distorted parody of the original?

[tsuchinokoroyale]

More like rad-b-gone lol

[grandorderconfessions]

[pasteltoast]

Everyone else is moving onto fe engage but I'm still crying anytime I think about edge of dawn

[astrxealis]

emet is so wow for being kind of a mix of sephiroth + ardyn but much better

[so-mordor-itis]

Through Her Eyes

Synopsis: Ada observes you and Leon as you trek through the village and castle of Los Illuminados, only to realize he wasn't her little loyal pup anymore.

A/N: I wanted to try something different! I saw a lot of people writing jealous reader or jealous Leon, but I was like "No one has done an Ada POV yet, I could give it a shot. I might do a part 2 with the rest of the game if you guys would like!

Read the sequel here!

Taglist:

@izuniias , @spookluckpuck , @uhlunaro , @inaflashimagine , @amatxs , @aussiepineapple1st , @honeysoakedbandages , @boundinparchment , @tosuckmyweenis , @airanke

It was interesting, watching you two communicate. Leon had this way of shrugging his shoulders whenever he spoke, sometimes tossing his arms into the air to somehow solidify his point. You, on the other hand, were a bit carefree with your body language, Ada noticed. Quite the opposite to your companion. Perhaps it was because you were more comfortable with him, maybe you have worked with him for a longer time than she estimated. You two were discussing a plan, but Ada couldn’t get the absolute details. If she did, she would’ve most likely been seen–at least heard. The environment was rough and rocky, full of sticks and branches that easily could be broken or snagged against her outfit. She knew better.

Though she did catch a brief moment with you two when she was forced to get closer–she had grabbed her binoculars to observe some of the villagers ahead, they were carrying pitchforks and axes, glancing around like mindless dogs. How cute, such obedient little pups.

“We could split up, maybe we’d find Ashley easier that way.” You suggested, maybe adding a shrug of your own shoulders.

“No, I don’t think splitting up would be the best idea,” Leon said instantly. Ada felt her chest coil at the sound of his voice. It was deeper now, more scratchy, rugged. He had definitely seen more than what he was forced to at Raccoon City. She figured that would be the case, now being the President’s little weapon, being kept under his nose for his every beck and call. Wesker made sure to do some research on him, in case he would be a nuisance in the process of delivering the amber. You, on the other hand, were a new, unexpected addition. Perhaps another lackey the President kept hidden. But Ada couldn’t help wondering why only two people? The President’s daughter was taken here, wasn’t she? She would’ve thought Daddy would come to collect his little girl as soon as he could with an army of men at the ready. Or, he’s truly that worried for his image and was desperate to keep this under wraps because of what was at this location.

“Stuck to me like glue, huh?” You quipped. Ada heard Leon scoff, the sound of a gun being reloaded echoed throughout the area.

“I’d rather you be here than in the dirt somewhere I can’t see.” Protective, she noted. Interesting. You two must’ve been friends, at least. Then again, what did she know? He could’ve been like this with a lot of people. He definitely had a habit of being friendly, of asking questions.

“Hunnigan said the path to the lake was beyond a windmill, right? Then I guess that’s our destination.”

Ada cursed under her breath before launching herself off the roof of one of the houses. She would’ve been out in the open, easily spotted. She hunched over a barrel, checking her own guns. A few bullets had been used earlier when she rang the church bell. She didn’t know what compelled her to come back to the village area, but she found herself here, observing. Too late to complain now, the damage was done. She would book it for a different direction the moment you two were out of sight.

She poked her head out slightly, watching as your shadows came into view and then your figures. She had stopped paying attention to what you two were talking about, that wasn’t in her job description. Though she couldn’t help eyeing Leon for a second longer. His physique had certainly changed, too. He had more muscle, his eyes were tired, small gray circles under them. You were trailing behind him, holding your pistol with a tight grip. Ada noticed your eyes darting back and forth, now extremely cautious. From what she could note, you were the observer type and she had to be extra alert for anything that could cause a sound.

“Wait,” you said, stopping in your tracks. “There’s a path up ahead.” You started trekking towards it, footsteps were heavy with movement. You were in a hurry. Leon seemed to be startled slightly but quickly followed suit. Ada felt a smirk forming on her lips. He was following you so fast, like a lost puppy, just as he did with her. You had him wrapped around your finger and didn’t even realize it. Ada was convinced if Leon had a tail, it would surely be wagging. He was under your spell.

“Still a good boy, huh Leon?” Ada murmured to herself.

–

After saving Leon from nearly being crushed to death by a taller man–Luis called him the ‘big cheese’ of the village–Ada had lost track of you two by the time night fell across the village. This was good. It allowed her to carry through with the delivery of the amber with no trouble. No more distractions.

At least, until Luis found himself caught in between two messes.

From a rock, Ada discovered what seemed to be a battle for survival in a nearby, abandoned house. She noticed your figure and then Leon’s, and then her little carrier pigeon. You three were scrambling around one another, fighting off Gnado after Gnado, scraping by with the skin of your teeth. Ah, she would’ve helped, surely, but she had bigger priorities. She knew Luis could handle himself and if it truly was time for her to rescue someone she’d do what she needed to. She had at least one grenade she could spare if she truly had to.

It wasn’t necessary, you three pulled through somehow. Ada had told Leon he had some unique version of dumb luck, and it seemed it still carried through.

Luis found her later, desperate to catch his breath. She reminded him of the deal, of the amber. He was annoyed, clearly, but he knew what he had to do.

Once Ada arrived at the castle, she started to notice some little attributes of you and Leon. The both of you were a good team–you have saved him countless times, pulling him towards you when an axe was about to slice his throat, shooting over his shoulder when he couldn’t see an enemy. Ada had to admit you were skilled, and it was no wonder you two were there to protect little Miss Graham. The girl was petrified of the whole thing. She reminded Ada of a doe-eyed lamb, sheltered from the dangers of the world until only recently.

Before Ada encountered Leon in the castle, she had accidentally found you two–not three, the girl must’ve been taken away, the two of you probably running yourselves ragged trying to retrieve her again. Ada quickly hid in a spot she knew she wouldn’t be found. You had requested Leon stop for a second, sliding down the wall of a hallway to catch your breath.

“You alright?” Leon asked softly.

“Just peachy,” you snapped, gritting your teeth once first aid spray hit raw skin. You had an open wound, skin sliced open, red flowing to the floor. “Sorry, it just hurts like hell.”

“No, I get it,” Leon said he didn’t have much on him but guns and some herbs, but Ada watched as he grabbed a tablecloth from one of the stands. “Surely they wouldn’t mind if we borrow this?”

You looked at him with big eyes full of gentleness and wonder, of awe and inspiration, the same way he had to her, and she realized that it wasn’t just Leon that was under a spell. Though you immediately hardened your gaze when you realized he was now looking at you.

“There, that should hold you. For a while, I’d hope. Wouldn’t want you to bleed on their fancy carpet.”

“Oh, the horror.” You feigned concern.

Did you two even realize you were flirting? Did you even realize that when you were scourging through your bag, Leon had a softer look on his face? Was watching you with such intent, with such curiosity?

Ada sighed, loading her pistol. She wouldn’t be able to drag him with her this time, but that was fine.

She could find some other way.

[awful-little-goose]

Ya know after that little headcanon thing with shamura my thoughts just spiralled from there so please allow me to propose something.

This was inspired by this image by the by:

Not sure if this is actually legit as I never encountered this sprite in game however it was one the wiki so I’m gonna be so free and assume.

Anyway-

With the idea that the crowns aid the bishops with their disabilities(Leshy being able to see through his, Hekets crown speaking for her ect ect). Allow me to propose a what if:

what if Shamuras crown appears to be rooted into their brain because it’s what’s keeping them from being even worse off than they already are? They can no longer get any prophecies because the crown is too busy keeping their mind intact, stopping all their memories from slowly fading away.

It also shows just how bad the damage done by Narinder truly was, even with all it’s power to grant near infinite knowledge…it still isn’t enough, Shamuras mind is still broken and the purple crown will never be able to restore them to their former glory.

And to really hammer home how close Shamura was with their crown, what if it even goes as far as rejecting new bearers the lamb chooses? It wants Shamura to pick a bearer, their opinion on who is worthy enough to bear it is far more important to it. And it will straight up refuse to give anything to those chosen without their blessing.

And it’s not like the Lamb can just destroy it, If it was that easy they would have been destroyed eons ago. Nah they really just went „it’s either my way or the highway.“ and proceed to become as useful as a door stopper-

Anyway just some food for thought, thank you for coming to my ted talk!:DD

If you’ll excuse me I will go ahead and sketch ideas of this and of my Shamura passing the crown onto an eight year old cause that is definitely not gonna go south-

I ABSOLUTELY love that HC and agree with it, to me the crown is like- the one thing keeping Sha alive. And the connection is what makes Shamura like- ramble, as it disorients them greatly (imagine your brain being Directly POWERED BY GODLY POWERS- my thoughts would get a bit scrambled too)

Kinda leads me to think that the crown just- would NOT let Shamura died. Which in itself has a lotta implications: did it care? Did it just want its host to survive? Are the other crowns this way too?

I guess that’s…food for thoughts HEHEHE

[notmorbid]

even as we breathe.

dialogue prompts from even as we breathe: a novel by annette saunooke clapsaddle.

my plan didn't quite work the way i thought it would.

you sure have a way with words.

should i be afraid?

empathy is fossilized in our bones.

if you keep your mouth shut and your ears open, you might just learn a thing or two.

there's rumors about this place, you know.

sometimes i poke fun when i'm on edge.

i want to be respected, not respectable.

just ignore me. heck, everyone else does.

have you ever felt like everybody was staring at you?

your demeanor is distinctly unwelcoming.

humility has its place.

don't do anything to get yourself fired.

nothing scary about nothingness. it's the something you should be afraid of.

you didn't play games going up?

i never feel like people are telling me the whole truth.

everyone has their own take, their own theory.

biblical references aren't exactly my forte.

but how will i know when i'm done?

you don't need to lie to make me feel better.

it's just how i was raised.

tell me about your family.

i'm surprised you don't already know all my business. everybody else sure does.

you speak of the dead so easily.

thought i might have to wake you for dinner.

is this your hiding place?

i'm not scared. i'm mad.

you make odysseus look like a joyrider.

not all love is made of equal parts.

what's wrong with you today?

everything okay back home?

it's not forever. just try to remember that.

just trying to stay out of trouble.

you can't prepare yourself for things like this.

you knew and you didn't tell me.

it's too early in the morning for ghost stories.

you were always my soft place to land.

i need you to see me.

i thought i was protecting you.

i do care about you. you're my best friend.

something about war buddies ties people together forever.

there's always at least an ounce of truth in storytelling.

sometimes i think you've seen more than you've told me.

i can't imagine leaving without you.

you truly can be such a raincloud.

i got used to it. i didn't know anything else.

i don't mean to lay a bunch of heavy stuff on you.

sometimes the answers are not the ones you want to hear.

sometimes you have to decide if you want truth or peace.

i can't believe we're having a conversation about this.

what's happening to me?

i'm not sure i'd be able to teach you, but i can try.

i don't mind listening. listening is easy.

i'm sure you'll find the right home, in the end.

sometimes not knowing your own story is the most damaging thing of all.

i once had to be quiet to survive.

i thought i told you i didn't want to see you again.

you sure can't catch a break, can you?

i never knew how to ask.

you're too mean to let anything keep you down for too long.

nobody deserves to die alone.

you've used me up.

do you think i love ____ more than i love you?

i do love you. i always will. but we have to accept the hands we're dealt.

when i was young, i wanted nothing more than to get as far away from here as i could get.

[i-am-the-avatar-of-idiocy]

Hi hope you’re doing well <3

Can I request obey me brothers x younger sister MC .

So mc is the 8th sibling amongst the other brothers. This idea has been stuck in my head for the longest and I haven’t seen any post abt it. :(

Just some general headcanons abt MCs interactions w the brothers and stuff. Thank you!

part two

(in my mind, reader is a decent amount younger than the brothers and Lilith were and isn’t MC, it’s mostly set after the fall before MC but some of it they are there for, finally that that were all closer with Lilith- I hope you enjoy)

Prefall, you were Liliths shadow

wherever she was, you would only be a few steps behind her

you were adored, but cast out due to lucifers insistence to protect you

when the fall happened, Diavolo and barbatos had noticed you, sobbing over her body with lucifer, begging her to wake up

you still remember the inconsolable grief you felt, the wounds still wide open

you also felt that after Satan was created, he filled where she had been, a new ‘sibling’

you also noticed how hard they found it to look at you, given you looked so similar to the older sister they believed they had failed

your relationship with lucifer is like a father and child. You aren’t particularly fond of it, especially as you age however you know he wants to protect you like he couldn’t Lilith. He also treats you like her and you have to remind him you’re two different people and you aren’t her When he comes to accept this things are much better between the two of you but he can’t help but act in a relative paternal way with you

mammon is like a cool uncle. Even if he’s your brother, he acts like one. He will shower you with gifts when he can. You are also one of his highest priorities (if not his highest). If you’re disappointed in him, he’s sure he’s done something wrong. He is one of the best for not treating you like Lilith and acknowledges you as your person. Regardless, you love him and you have a really good relationship with him

levi couldn’t look at you for a solid few hundred years after the fall. He only saw your sister. When he wanted to reconnect to you, he really struggled and ending up asking for help from asmo and mammon. After this point, things are a lot better and if you like anime and gaming HES your man. He truly regrets the years he ignored you

After he was first created, you despised Satan with a passion. Why? You felt like he replaced your sister (Idk why but I bc she was the fourth oldest) also his anger infuriated you, how dare he be angry when he hadn’t lost anything. Later on, when he settles down, he tries and fails many times to build up a relationship with you. After many, many attempts he finally succeeds in his mission and you have a pretty good relationship with him but it’s definitely not as strong as your bond with the others and he wants to work on that

asmodeus will literally dote on you nonstop. You want a spa-day? He’s on it. You like that perfume? Let him get it for you. You cant decide between the blue and green top? Hell get you both. At first he tried to make you like Lilith but eventually came to the realisation he was damaging your relationship he had a deep conversation with you and offered a heartfelt opportunity. You can absolutely rant to him. He values you and your emotions. If you aren’t happy, then asmo isn’t

beelzebub blames himself for the death of Lilith and with your looks being so similar to hers he only sees his failure in you. He’s too ashamed to talk to you about how he couldn’t save everyone. You try to connect with him and after a while he lets you in. He lets you help him. You have an amazing relationship with him

belphegor is generally angry after the fall and you find yourself becoming slightly afraid of him and his sheer hatred against humans so you try to avoid him. After he’s put in the attic you regret the distance formed as you cant be with him. Post/during MC Hes much kinder. You can nap together and talk for hours and he’s so much kinder.

BONUS: MC and you are really close. They are related to you but they are one of your closest friends. You cannot thank them enough for helping your family and just generally being them

[scekrex]

An idea? Did somebody just say they have an idea? Oh wait, that would be me! Hi, hello, love, me again, the little pretty devil on your shoulder that encourages you to sin, or rather, create ✨

Just Adam, reader and Lute playing UNO. You probably knew this was coming. It's basically them just playing it like that one video on Smii7y's channel where everybody basically just yells at each other. Honestly it would be so funny to read about them playing, the reader placing a card for Lute, a nice +4 (Fucking hate that bitch, the sole reason for my misery during that game), what he didn't think of was the possibility of Lute having another +4. She put it down on top of the reader's (They play by the rule where the +4 or +2 stack) and Adam just goes "I can't believe you've done this!" (Like the meme with the British dude in sunglasses getting punched in the face), reader laughing and mocking him with "Oh, I cAn'T bElIeVe YoU'vE dOnE tHiS!" with a British accent, but then Adam finds another +4 in his cards, places it down and looks at reader with a satisfactory smirk. When readers sees it he just goes "Fuck, I actually can't believe you've done this. You fuck" with an accusatory tone, realising he has to pick up 12 cards and just flips his cards like Steve Harvey sometimes does at stupid answer during Family Feud saying "Man, fuck this, I ain't playing with you no more! You best believe I'll get my revenge. No damn sex for you" while walking away, obviously directing it for Adam, but Lute just going "DISGUSTANG" and Adam just going "He was not speaking to you, bitch. Mind ya business. This one is mine, there's my life on the line😭". I just see the possibility of them playing UNO while bored in Heaven would be the funniest shit ever 😂 UNO destroys relationships, kids... AND emotionally damages you 😭

Nah bc they'd roast the living shit outta each other. Just imagine how they'd react when playing Mario Kart, they'd tear open each other's throats.

Tired Games

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, crack fic comin' through whoop whoop

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

All you had wanted was a chill evening with your husband and Lute, to relax and enjoy the day off. So you three sat on the floor of your and Adam's apartment, in front of you there was a stack of UNO cards. You had been playing for a couple hours by now and slowly all of you were losing your patience. UNO was one of the games that always ended in fights, either because Lute was convinced the ‘you can stack a +4 on a +4’ rule was entirely made up - she had once shown you a tweet from the company that said doing so was against the rules - or it was like today.

“Hurry up babes,” Adam poked you in the side which caused you to flinch away from his touch and bat his hand away, “Stop that you touch starved bitch.” You slapped a +4 onto the stack, offering Lute the most wicked grin you had in store, “Sucks to be you, bitch.” Lute however was having none of it, she returned the grin, equally wicked and pulled another +4 out of her deck.

The look the first man gave you was priceless, he looked truly betrayed while a bit of annoyance gleamed in his golden eyes, “I can't believe you've fucking done this.” You chuckled to yourself as you poked him back, a small giggle escaped you as he flinched away just like you had. “Oh, I can't believe you've fucking done this, go cry about it bitch,” you mocked him as you laid down. You were starting to get tired but you also wanted to finish the game. The problem was when you grew tired you also grew short tempered and so you knew it was only a matter of time until things would escalate. Still you continued as you put your head in Adam's lap. The brunette looked down on you and offered you a small smile, then his hand was in your hair and for a tiny moment your eyes fell shut as you embraced the warm touch your husband gave you.

The first man stayed silent for a long time as he went through his cards, clearly thinking hard about whether to play the card he had or not. “Hurry up, old man,” Lute grumbled and kicked his shin, that made Adam yelp in pain and scoot backwards a little - he made sure to move drag your body with him so that you could continue to use him as a pillow - to get away from the executor, “Geez, the fuck is wrong with you?” he complained as he played yet another +4 card. The smirk on his face was sweet, so sweet that you genuinely wanted to tear it off and throw it in the trash. You looked at the stack of cards, then up at Adam and back down at the cards. That meant you had to draw 12 godforsaken cards. Fucking 12.

“Fuck that,” you flipped your cards over in anger and pushed yourself up - away from Adam - so that you sat on the floor before you fully got up, “Fuck you,” you flipped Adam off before turning to Lute, “And fuck you too.” With crossed arms and in a shitty mood you walked over to the couch and wrapped your wings around your body in order to hide from the people sitting on the floor. “I ain't playing with you with you no more,” you grumbled quietly, then raised your voice a little so that Adam could hear your threat, “No fucking sex for you.”

Lute's face twisted in disgust and she wrinkled her nose at your words, “Disgusting.” Adam raised an eyebrow and side eyed her, not sure if she truly thought you had addressed to words to her or if she was playing, “Bitch, he was talking to me, this is my punishment, my fucking life's on the line here,” the first human soul in heaven whined and got up from the floor as well. “Don’t forget so is your dick,” Lute reminded the brunette who just groaned at that as he walked over to you. He carefully nudged the tips of your wings apart and really couldn't help the smile when he saw your pointing face. “Aw, c’mon babes, it's just a stupid fucking game,” he hummed as he kneeled down to be on eye level with you, his hands were resting on your knees which were pressed against your chest. “Fuck off, I said what I said,” you mumbled as you were avoiding eye contact. You knew too well that he could plead so prettily with them golden eyes of his, looking straight into them meant risking taking your words back and letting him win. He put a finger underneath your chin and tilted your head slightly, he basically forced you to look at him. All it took was one glance and you were done for, you simply knew you lost.

Your eyes must've given that away because Adam leaned in to give you a short yet soft kiss, “That’s a good boy.” You turned your face away, grumbling something about how he should watch his mouth. “You two done with your shit? Can we continue?” Lute interrupted and while you loved her like a sister, you would've loved to grab her by the wings and throw her out the window. You might save that for later though. You pushed yourself away from the soft fabric of the couch and right into Adam's arms, “Actually,” you mumbled as you wrapped your arms around his neck so that he could carry you, “I think I’m going to bed.” Tiredness had won you over once again but Lute understood, of course she did. “Feel free to crash on the couch, danger tits,” Adam offered the exorcist but she shook her head, “I’d rather not want to wake up to the sound of you two fucking again, thanks. One time was more than enough.” Adam shrugged, he thought that was fair. And while the two of them had that little conversation, you had already fallen asleep in Adam's arms.

[cupids-chamber]

𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐅𝐈𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐓𝐔𝐒

Hi, so I'm going on an indefinite hiatus. This is a impromptu decision, so I don't know if I'll come back in like a day and correct myself. But I've been debating on this decision for a long time, so yea.

[ below the undercut you'll find some of my reasons for this decision, and etc, I'd be grateful if you take your time reading it. ]

I don't feel comfortable as 'Cupid', I guess it's because 'Cupid' was never supposed to be my persona, she was just an oc who's running this blog, and it was supposed to be fun, mini lore bits, or whatever, and I thought the idea was really cool back then. . up until people started calling me Cupid.

I guess overtime, I never made a serious effort to correct it, so like it just became me? But like as shit went on and on and on . . It felt weird, I guess a sort of imposter syndrome or like identity crises started forming? I . . didn't feel like myself, I guess I felt like whatever 'Cupid' was.

And as months passed with this sort of identity crises, I started questioning my personality, my interests, if my friends here truly liked me, or if I was more open or idk myself? If they'd still like me? I'm not a chronically online person, in fact I've realized pretty recently that I hate staying in one place, I love the outdoors, and if I could I'd socialize more, but I also overthink and get embarrassed easily. I don't like being on my pc 24/7, yes it's something I still do, but I feel terrible after doing so.

I actually picked up certain interests I've had in the passed again, and I've felt more like myself. I don't know, I think I've realized that my relationship with this blog has been unhealthy, it's always been unhealthy, and my identity crises was the least extreme problem I've had due to this blog.

Actually, the game, the controversies, the fights, everything I've experienced on this blog, has left lasting physical damage on my body, I can't handle anxiety, I can't handle stress, and it's because the moment I get anxiety, stressed, or begin to overthink, I get immensely nauseas, I'm stuck in the bathroom, and if I don't throw up it feels worse, I can't eat, I'm unproductive for hours if one things ticks off my anxiety. I feel unlike myself, and the thing is, I can't fix it, it's just how I'm now. I have pills I have to take for this itself, and honestly they've not been 100% helpful.

Alongside abundance of other problems, mental breakdowns, and so much more shit, this blog has truly done nothing but make everything so much worse for me. If I had one good day or week with this blog and the people around me, I can expect a month of bad in return, and there comes a point where I genuinely cannot fake confidence out of it.

I genuinely think I need to dissociate from 'Cupid', she's not me, I'm not her. As I'm typing this, I genuinely wonder, what am I truly? Up until now my identity, was what I formed through 'Cupid', and honestly I don't even know where I'm going with this, I genuinely am just . . done. I'm tired. I've tried, I have not succeeded in overcoming any problems this blog has caused me.

I think a part of me is so attached to this blog, because of 'Cupid' and of course because it helped me out of my depressive pit, but as these last few weeks pass, and I edge closer to my final year before university, I feel myself returning to that depressive pit, worse than ever . . so at that point, I can't help but ask myself, what was the point of me staying on this blog despite the clear signs and warnings for me to leave?

I really don't know where I'm going with this, but I'm really grateful for everyone who has followed this blog, who have given me the chance to improve my writing. I guess it's time for a genuine goodbye? Because as I'm writing this, I don't really plan on coming back and that's the honest truth, with every hiatus I try and dance around a final goodbye but after this week I genuinely think this is the best decision for myself.

Note : Kindly do not call refer to me as 'Cupid', or anything if you plan on responding and if you do want to remain in contact with me, please message me for my new discord account. I probably won't respond fast as I try and maintain a distance from this account and don't bother contacting me on discord, I'm taking a break from the account as well <3

[azaracyy]

to the next stage of our adventure! digimon survive week 2024 day 7: post-game / future personal thoughts under the cut - less about the artwork and more about shuuji and lopmon themselves. a long rambling containing major spoilers and heavy topics. will cause whiplash. proceed with caution.

other than the fact this may be boring and long-winded, cw and tw: there will be mentions of self-harm and suicide. if these topics make you uncomfortable, please step back. if you're sure, then alright. i'm aware this is a weird place to ramble about shuuji and lopmon considering the notorious highlight of their story would match the themes of day 5 (villains) and day 6 (dark & loss) better. unfortunately (ironically?) i never planned to feature them for those days, so... pretty sure i'm not the only one feeling this, but when i discovered that a good part of the fandom seems to loathe shuuji with utmost passion, even after they claimed to have completed the game, i was confused. the way his death happened and (understanding) the cause made me uncomfortable for a while, but never drove me to the point of hate... once i recovered from the initial shock, what i felt towards him was more pity, then respect (on truthful route). i feel shuuji should have been one of the most appreciated characters in survive. yet it was the opposite that happened. (between you and me though, knowing there was this discourse with the fact digimon survive is a visual novel, i'm not that surprised it turned out this way...) from my point of view, lopmon evolving into wendimon then killing shuuji symbolizes suicide, the act of taking one's own life. it was the climax of shuuji's mental breakdown, leading him to basically self-destruct, causing damage to everyone around him and ultimately himself. lopmon evolved, just like he hoped. but failed to do it like other kemonogami partners (maintaining control of themselves and fending off enemies). the next and final outcome was death, through his own partner actually eating him alive too. it reminds me how when someone thought they have prepared well for something important yet it failed spectacularly, the devastation and frustration would eat them in the same way from inside. and they probably would for one second think, "i'm better off dead". the more i pondered about it, the more it hit home, so of course, the last thing i could do is hate him, when his struggles sound similar to my own - having to rely on consistent achievements to prove your value, to feel you are worth living and not a waste of resources. the part where shuuji went all abusive on lopmon felt like the equivalent of pushing yourself to the extreme to reach your goal, to the point of neglecting your own needs. it's like a student so absorbed in their study, sacrificing food and sleep, until their body eventually snaps and shuts down for good (...this in fact happened to one of the students at my previous workplace. she was in her last year of high school. life was just about to truly start for her when her classmate informed us of her sudden death). even in truthful route where shuuji and lopmon survive that point, things aren't immediately nice and easy for him. you can see that he still has self-doubts, and what i think is impostor's syndrome. he could be making a great contribution to the team and still put himself down for having done "nothing". i have found it interesting that artists and writers tend to be especially fond of shuuji. so perhaps it's not just the matter of one's upbringing - whether you were raised in a harsh, competitive environment and/or with family with (unreasonably) high standards so you can relate more easily to him - but also whether one can see just what every struggle shuuji and lopmon went through symbolizes shuuji's mental state. out of all survive characters, i think shuuji and lopmon pulled off this thing called "surviving" the hardest, no joke. which is why i almost always gravitate to drawing them happy because that's what they deserve :') after all this, what i also would like to say is, it's okay if a character makes you uncomfortable. it's okay if you hate a character. but never, ever bring down the character to people who like them or even consider them their favorite or comfort character. if you must, do it in your own space and only with like-minded people.

[krisluxxeeempress]

PICK- A - PILE, HOW DOES YOUR PERSON FEEL ABOUT YOU?

Pile One ( Skeleton Lovers) :

First things first, it's very clear that you guys are lovers however, the card came out in the reverse. I personally hold the lovers card in higher regards in comparison to the two of cups card. Anyone can have a connections but very few truly have a Divine soulmate or Twin flame connection as that is what the Lovers card indicates for me. With that being said, you both are very aware that you have shared many lifetimes together however, the BS has followed with it. I am showing a separation and you guys may not be talking. The masculine in this dynamic feels like they have lost complete control and or, refused to control their sexual desires. He may have cheated or refused to commit! The masculine could have used work as an excuse to avoid commitment and to cover up dealings with another person. ( how typical , yawns) If that is not your case, this masculine could have very well misunderstood your soulmate connection in it's entirety and as a result refused to commit. I see you guys had a sexual relationships for some and for others, where you possibly never met- there was a lot of fantasizing and 4D, 5D sexual encounters taking place for the both of you. Someone could have a fear of commitment or true intimacy due to a previous failed and traumatizing relationship ( yawns again). I am showing either you, them or both of you cannot stop looking at each others pictures, videos, social media or listening to any voicemails that may be saved still. For some of you, your person was in silent competition with you and they are mad you did not compete. This silent competition could be due to finances, career status or positions. It could be competition where you are literally competing for this persons attention, affection and love. So basically, they tried to make you jealous. (yawns again). For some, there was no real competition, all illusion created by them. Others of you, this person was leading you on out of pure ignorance of what your connection really was and meant. Emphasis on meant as this connection could be past tense, as i am seeing someone moving on and no longer wanting to be stuck mentally or physically. Someone is sexually frustrated or both, I see baby oil, dildos which only means one thing masturbation. For some, this person wants to have a family with you, others you already have one and they are concerned that you may move a long distance away or simply, find someone else to start a family with. They are mad at themselves because they knew better, allegedly, but didn't do better when they had the opportunity. For some, you do not have children and may have verbalized this at some point which prompted them to seek elsewhere. You may have had a change of heart, not because of them, but maybe- however, you had a change of heart and now want children but the damage is done considering whatever they did during your separation. Or whatever they did, or didn't do that led to the separation. The Outcome is not being able to move on meanwhile you have. Energy is fluid and so this can change, keep that in mind however, as of right now- it's a strong no.

Pile Two ( XOXO ):

Intuitively, this energy feels like a game. Like someone is playing chess and the other is playing checkers! ( i wrote this before pulling the cards) Let's proceed, shall we? Someone may have a Aquarius or Pisces moon, or moon on 11th or 10th house, regardless- i am getting that your person is completely detached or unable to identify how they feel at the moment. It's giving Linkin' park vibes, " Numb". The cards kept flying on the floor and so this can indicate someone who wants to brush things under the rug or they have a tendency to do this. If you had suspicions about your person cheating or using you for energy, attention or worse sex, it's true. It's hard to tell what side the reader is on because this person either is genuinely emotionally devoid or they have a strong poker face. Interesting i mentioned chess, checkers and now poker. Could be dealing with a Leo or Pisces. This energy seems confusing and all over the place! If this is your person for sure, it looks like they were using someone else until you wanted them or came back to them if there was a separation. I am wondering if Pile One resonated with you. I am also getting if someone claimed that a specific person or group of people were just their friends, the tarot cards and my intuition determined THAT WAS A LIE. This person wants to apologize for causing confusion, lying and either using you for sex or using others for sex until you came back around. I really think you should look into Pile One. You may have found out your position in all these mind games on your own or through this reading but they are mad because it looks like you have moved on or in the process of it. It looks like you are healing, focused on yourself and your financial stability- amongst other things that don't revolve around them and they are mad. They are mad that they lost at their own jigsaw games of BS. They are mad your standards are higher and defenses stronger now. They are mad you will no longer perform oral sex on them as it's clear you are the Goat with the Throat or Tongue, i don't know. They feel like you have moved on with a quickness and somehow it's an injustice. The outcome is only confirming that you have pulled back your loving energy and as of right now, i see no plans of you changing your mind. It looks like you are standing on principle and business. They want to apologize but . . I do not that being effective.

Pile Three ( Love Message):

Wow! this pile started off very strong with the world, death and lovers card all up right. This indicates to me a major transformation as within and so without! It appears like a lot of you are in relationship with the Divine and yourself and "your person" is really mad about this. They are mad you have chosen yourself. This person is realizing that they need you and want to have a heart to heart convo with you but the opportunistic card came out. This is the classic case of " you don't know what you have until it's gone" vibes. If you have no past person mad, this spread is indicating that you are unavailable to anyone past, present or future. Crazy thing is, this unattainable energy you are exuding is making other want to attain you. You are intelligent, stable, solid, and giving off royal vibes. You are committed to yourself and this is extremely attractive to the point, others are viewing you as a opportunity. This can be bad or good, you know this. Others see you as Husband or Wife material and are more than willing to fight for your affections. A lot of you have done the spiritual work to radiate such Divine and Royal energy. People want to be transparent with you, submissive even. They see your worth because you know your worth. There are some people who are mad you are not on their time or making time for them. In addition to, being mad that you do not show emotion! I feel like it was the complete opposite before where you wore your heart on your sleeve and even wiped your tears with the same sleeve. Sidenote, some of you may have a sleeve tattoo or this particular person- who feels entitled to your time and emotions, does. Some of you are just not the same person, it's the simple. You have came back from the dead, a completely new, powerful and fearless person. Whatever emotions you had, have died. These people that want you attention and love messages are going to have to be a magician to revive your emotions back from the dead, haha. You are not mean but you are direct and no nonsense. Some hate it and others love it. Congratulations, looks like a lot of respect, admiration and new beginnings are ahead, for you.

Thank you for reading! If this resonated, please consider hitting the reblog button so others can gain clarity and confirmation on their situations.

I offer more tarot readings on Youtube, Patreon & Tiktok! Check me out, links will be below for your convivence.

[marcmorrigan]

finally delivering on the princess tutu headshots i promised... love these dysfunctional teens 🩰💖💕

LOTS of notes about headcanons/design choices under the cut! like. a lot. dont say i didnt warn you

starting with my specialest guy fakir:

i had a suuuper clear vision for fakir, and i couldnt be happier with how he turned out, he looks exactly how i imagine him! trying to translate his Bird-Shaped Hair into my style gave me SERIOUS homestuck flashbacks. my affinity for knights with Problems knows no bounds...

adding the hyperpigmentation around his eyes and his acne scars is what really solidified this for me-- i put those in and was like oh!!! there you are!!! my boy!!! and you can tell because i gave him acne scars + thick eyebrows that he IS my boy... there are very clear trends among my headcanons for my faves lol. big noses, thick eyebrows, skin imperfections, heavy eyebags, long dark hair... and fakir truly has it all 😤 he is so Ideal Character Design to me

i think fakir is actually pretty self-conscious about his appearance tho! we see characters like pike and lilie say hes handsome to ahiru, but i dont know how often he actually hears that? and im sure its hard not to compare himself to mytho, who is straight out of a fairy tale; being a regular teenager dealing with regular teen body stuff is hard enough without your roommate being a magically beautiful eternally youthful storybook hero. i think he probably internalises more that people see him as scary and angry, and that the girls who do have crushes on him always frame it in contrast to mytho, who is Good and Kind and Handsome, implying (or sometimes outright stating!) that fakir is Bad and Mean and... Well...

fakir is very sensitive but quiet about it, so i think its a very private point of self-consciousness. i think he puts a lot of semi-secret effort into his appearance; canonically he has a lot of very funny and clearly customised clothing, and he chooses to keep his hair long and in a very particular style (i have a whole breakdown in my mind of how he achieves that style and it involves a surprising amount of pins and an unsurprising fuckton of teasing. i think his hair is a little fried from heat damage!), and i think that probably extends to other things, too, like manicuring his eyebrows and doing a lot of very Teenage Skincare that doesnt actually help his acne much lol. i think he probably has a lot of self-injurious habits and BFRBs like skin picking and chewing, mostly at his acne and around his nails (both of which he hates, because he knows he shouldnt but does it anyway). i think if he does it enough that theres noticeable evidence it feels, like, world-ending for him, ESPECIALLY if anyone asks what happened lol. do not perceive him except in the very specific ways and contexts he approves of THANKS

on to the narratives favorite princess, mytho:

again, i had a pretty clear idea of the vibe i wanted mytho to have going into this-- i want him to have, like, extreme prince charming vibes, very Classically Handsome without necessarily being 'conventional.' i thought a lot about 'the happy prince' story while i was working on this, and really wanted him to look like a cross between how the prince statue looks in my head and a porcelain doll. and also a cross between jonny brown and brigitte bardot? lots of very direct influences for him lol. so! lots of gold tones, gemmy eye color, cute little tooth gap, quivering wide-eyed thousand-yard-stare doe eyes and big ol dolly anime lashes, which were the very last thing i added because i was NERVOUS about pulling those off lol. they turned out cute tho! ive only done a handful of pieces for this series and i can already tell princess tutu is gonna make me up my lash drawing game considerably, these kids all look like they blink and cause a hurricane from the gale force wind of their falsies

also wait i lied the very last thing i did was add his freckles/beauty marks because he needed that little extra oomph and those were It. i think he probably has some on his hands/wrists too 💕

i was a little unsure if my idea for his hair would translate with this flat-color approach but im pretty happy with it! its supposed to be afrotextured hair (somewhere between 3b and 4c i think? wide range of potential i knowww but im still kind of hammering out my headcanons okay, this is exploratory lol) thats been rolled and finger-styled into his little feather shapes. i think loose, chunky twists would be another fun way to interpret his hair and twists are one of my fave styles to draw do i might draw him like that at some point too...

i guess fakir is the one who styles his hair for him before mytho gets his heart back? i imagine fakir is pretty meticulous about maintaining mythos health and appearance, even at the worst stages of their relationship. i think itd be hard for fakir to frame the way he treats mytho as For Mythos Sake if he wasnt doing some level of actually beneficial care for him, so being really fastidious about things like mythos diet and sleep hygiene and hair care and such gives fakir an outlet for his 'you just have to do what i tell you' thing that helps him convince himself it really is helping, no really, hes doing this for mythos benefit and he just has to be strict with him because mytho doesnt UNDERSTAND he needs PROTECTING and fakir is the ONLY ONE who can do it so mytho HAS to let him because if he doesnt then why does fakir even EXIST, if he cant manage this then what is he good for, and--

yknow. the usual complexes. and their relationship is so complex!!! but also so simple, but like. in a good way. fakirs behavior is complicated but his motivation regarding mytho is SO straightforward which makes that downward spiral into harm really easy to map out... i wont go much into that in this post since this is about visual/appearance-related headcanons but just. augh. i love this show and i love these characters!!! and i hope its apparent in my work that i do love them so <3

im hoping to do a set of these for the girls next!!! i have some other stuff to finish first but hopefully... Soon... Some Birds...

[royal-misfit]

Spoilers for Disco Elysium

Dros is a very interesting character to me. Mainly because I see him as a foil for Harry. Both men are trapped in a past that they've idealized. Harry with disco music and his failed relationship with Dora. Dros with his time in the Commune. This cause both men to isolate themselves; figuratively in Harry's cause and literally in Dros'. Harry's drug and alcohol abuse is his attempt to numb himself to his pain, which causes him to lash out at his friends when they attempt to get him to stop. Dros is also constantly under the influence, having spent decades in the home of the Phasmid and inhaling its pheromones. Both men are consequently stuck in a state of arrested development. Harry stills acts and behaves like a twenty-something, obsessed with partying and living the "disco" lifestyle. Dros, meanwhile, has been in self-imposed exile since he was 16, and still has that teenage mindset regarding sex and compromise. However, both men are also noted to look much older than they actually are. Harry is 44 during the events of the game, but both he and Kim believe him to be in his 60s at first because of the damage all the alcohol and drugs has done to his body. Dros is similar, while we're never given his exact age, we know he was around 16 when he abandoned his post during the war. At most he's probably in his sixties. However, life in isolation and festering resentment at the world makes him look closer in age to René (a man in his 80s). Both men are also extremists for their chosen ideology. Again, probably owing to their arrested development. It's stated in-game that no matter what ideology Harry chooses, he takes it to the extreme. Out-of-universe this is so the writers can satirize the ideology, but in-universe I think it's Harry trying to find an identity for himself. Dros is always a communist, in fact he believes himself to be the last "true" communist in Revachol (and probably the world). If you do the Communist Vision Quest, and become the biggest Commie to ever Commie, he calls you a pedophile and a poser. Dros is a look into the kind of person Harry is in danger of becoming. An isolated, bitter old man with his best days behind him. Constantly moping about how he can never go back to the way it used to be. However he doesn't have to be that. It's not easy, he's probably going to relapse and he might never truly get over Dora, but the game still says he has hope left. When you complete the "Date of Birth Generator" thought you get this line: "You are 44 years old. The bloating may never leave your face, but beneath it - you still have some years. You still have some hope." That's the difference between Harry and Dros. Harry still has some hope left for his future. Dros has none left. To Dros, hope was lost the day the Moralitern and Coalition stamped out the commune. Now he spends his days looking through his rifle scope at a world that has moved on. While Harry loves Revachol, Dros despises it. The city still speaks to Harry, the people still matter to him. Dros would rather see everyone burn for moving on, because why should they move on when he can't? Harry could become someone like Dros, but he doesn't have to. I think that's why this scene has stuck with me so long after I first played Disco Elysium. You see the growth and change Harry makes over the course of the in-game week, and while there some concern that it won't stick, there's also the hope that it might.

[foodsies4me]

End of the Year Fic Recs!!!

thank you @echo-bleu for tagging me! <3

I adore this as a game because I love reccing fics (and really should do it more often because So. Much. Good.Fic). This is going to be all shadowhunters I'm afraid though because I am still very much in the shadowhunters brainrot stage and haven't read much of anything else. (Also, sorry to those I haven't left a comment for yet, I WILL, spoons have just been low this year...) Also, I'll try to keep it to one rec per author because there are so many wonderful authors, but definitely go check the other fics of these people (if you haven't already) they're all excellent.

Recommend up to 5 series or multi-chapter fics from 2023 that everyone should read (multi-year WIPs count, if the last update was in 2023).

Running from the Night by @to-the-stars-writing. My forever fic spouse and the fic I reread themost this year goes to the fantastic, angsty Alec goes to live in a small village to get away from the Clave because the poor dude is traumatized fic from to-the-stars. This fic is my fics spouse (yes I got @to-the-stars-writing's permission to marry this fic) and I love, love, love it so much.

Flames to Embers by @notcrypticbutcoy: teenage!Alec is poofed into the timeline of his older self and it is lovely, sad, and heartwarming all at the same time. Also, teenage Alec is delightfully grumpy and Adult Alec is even more delightfully Done with teenage!Alec's grumpiness.

starshine and moonlight by she_who_reads (all_fandoms_reader) A three +1 fic where Alec isn't enough until he finally is. This fic is angsty and delves into Alec's (not all that great) self-worth issues and it hurts. Might or might not have cried reading it.

The Warlock's Cat by @dreaming-marchling. I hesitated a while which one I should pick from Marchling, but I ended up choosing this one (that said PLEASE go read Bleed for Me as well it is so goooood). The Warlock's Cat is a delightful "Alec gets turned into a cat and ends up in Magnus's care" fic. I adore it, and while it has its angsty or whumpy spots, it's mostly a nice, feel-good read.

Magnus Bane: Menace by AceOnIce To give some reprieve from all of the angst in this list, here is a fic of pure, unabashed fluff. Starring: Warlock Alec and Shadowhunter Magnus, the latter of which writes some truly ridiculous mission reports to HOTI Ragnor's grief.

Recommend up to 5 single chapter fics/one-shots (long or short) from 2023 that everyone should read.

The river cannot go back by @lawsofchaos1. Alec being Alec and completely in love with Magnus which leads to him committing treason like it's nothing. It is a short, brilliant fic that had me screeching like any @lawsofchaos1 fic does.

I'm finding it hard to breath by Honey_Hued_Hermes This one is pretty heave, but it does have a Hopeful Ending. Alec never promised he would tell Magnus if things ever got that bad...and sadly they do. Diving into Alec's Suicidal Thoughts and his Self-Harm tendencies.

A Most Fundamental Truth by autisticalec A missing scene from 2X10 when Alec tells Magnus that he's never been as terrified as when he feared Magnus had died from the Soul Sword. This one-shot dives into the "Alec was really very not okay emotionally" in this scene, so go read it!

The Difficult Task by @dani-dabbles: Another Alec is going through it emotionally fic (there are quite a lot of these on this list I just realized, oops). Thankfully, Magnus is there to offer support when Alec needs it because Magnus is still the best boyfriend. (also the repeated "not good enough"is evil and I am suing for emotion damages, please and thank you very much)

come to me (in the night hours) by @moonlight-breeze-44 Izzy is a supportive sister and is there emotionally for Alec right before his wedding to Lydia. This fic left me feeling all sad and weepy. This fic is technically part of a series, but as no other parts have been posted yet I am posting this in the one-shot part.

Recommend up to 5 fics NOT from 2023 that everyone should read (oldies but goodies).

I've Always Dreamed of Meeting Someone Like You by ColorfulWarlock A non-magical Alternate Universe this time around. Single-dad, fashion designer, and CEO Magnus needs someone to draw his designs for him after a hit-and-run leaves him unable to draw for himself. Insert Alec, the wonderful babysitter, and game designer who seems to understand what Magnus envisions and draw them into reality!

Angelus ex Machina by BlueA The series starts with the sudden disappearance of demon activity and the way that lack of activity impacts the local Shadow World. I love the way the parabatai bond is portrayed in this fic (especially in the third installment).

through the fire and pain by alxndrlightwoods is another parabatai-bond deep-dive that goes deep into how a parabatai bond can change shadowhunters. It also explains why, if parabatai are so powerful, there aren't that many of them. Love this fic!

i cannot touch because they are too near by @faejilly nobody manages to write poetry without writing poetry quite like @faejilly for me, seriously the words are always so beautiful I am in awe. This fic has to be my absolute favorite though because deep-dives into the parabatai bond are interesting to begin with but the way Jilly decides to do so in this fic makes it go from interesting to absolutely brilliant.

Greater Love Hath No Man by @lawsofchaos1 Okay, I lied, here is a second Laws fic, but considering this fic led to the demise of my laptop, I felt that it deserved to be on the list. (No, that wasn't a joke). Dad!Alec is forced to send baby!Max away to a warlock orphanage when his magic grows too strong for him and leaves him injured. The pain is real and it is excruciating, tissues are advised.

Recommend up to 5 of your own fics (completed or WIP) from 2023 that everyone should read.

As much as I adore reccing fics, doing self-recs is awkward, so I'm going to keep this to one rec before I combust into flames.

All Was Golden (everyone has probably read that one already because it's my most-read fic which makes this slightly less awkward than reccing any other of my fics.) Anyway, soulmate AU with a kind of ugly meet that has some angst.

Tagging, without any kind of pressure, the authors I tagged in the rec-list (if they haven't participated already) as well as @miss-mouse.