#clutch my pearls

[thisshadowwrites]

i have seen gay porn less homoerotically charged than whatever the fuck they were doing in that hyundai civic

[sher-ee]

[butchsaint]

imagine being the most devout little freak nun in the world and you have to watch God have a threesome with two of your mean coworkers at the dinner table. that happened to my friend harrow nonagesimus

[dimpletheheck]

Jesse is not pleased.

She proceeded to aggressively honk at the sign

[lucywucy126]

I’d be crying if i looked like that too bruh that’s messed up what they did to him

[mumblesplash]

heartbreaking: this viral post is saying things you completely agree with in the most irritating way possible

[buggachat]

“Lila Rossi bashing” is such a funny ao3 tag. Like announcing that you’re gonna be treating an antagonist as an antagonist. Im gonna tag every fic that features an akuma as “Gabriel Agreste bashing”

[alonetogether]

i only have my camera and a dream sorry but here’s jacob’s pics in jón + his little interview

[boosaot]

Would.

[spanishskulduggery]

The most ironic thing about Spain-Nazi Germany is that Spain at one point had some bullfighting to celebrate the arrival of Heinrich Himmler - the guy who basically made the Holocaust happen, so you know, very "neutral" of Franco to want him coming to party in Spain

And without a single bit of self-reflection, Himmler got very upset at the barbarity of the bullfighting

That's the kind of thing that if you saw it in a book it would feel almost too on the nose

[epiphainie]

a gay man making a daddy kink joke. fork found in kitchen.

[yuridovewing]

oh my god everyone is immediately on sparkpelts ass for “not caring about her kits” when she is SICK AND UNCONSCIOUS??? and also grieving???

guys get off her dick!!!! its been ONE NIGHT!!!!!!

[saessenach]

the Russells christening hanging out in their Newport mansion conservatory bc let's be real this scene deserved more than .2 seconds

[garlic-and-vanilla]

“You feel the Emperor's fear as if it were your own. An elder brain enslaved is one thing, an elder brain unleashed will be the end of everything.”

This is a quote from early in the long rest scene you get after discovering that Stelmane has been murdered.

The Emperor is afraid because it knows that if the Absolute breaks free of the stones’ control, it will be the end of everything, everywhere, as everyone knows it.

This isn’t some kind of recent revelation, there’s no reason to believe Emps didn’t know this from the start.

So why didn’t it take the protection of the prism and that nautiloid Gortash put it in command of and get the fuck out of dodge? Why didn’t it just hop planes until it was as far from Toril as possible and start a new life? The Absolute would usher in the Grand Design, sure, but that’s not a process that would happen quickly. At least, not quickly enough to reach a rogue illithid who had parked itself at the opposite end of the universe before said illithid died of old age.

Hell, why not try eating Orpheus too? The Emperor will say it’s too risky, if Tav asks it about doing so in act 2, but that becomes a gamble it’s willing to take by the end of act 3.

So why doesn’t the Emperor just give up its life in Baldur’s Gate, retire to the farthest plane it can find, and find out if making Orpheus its lunch will confer the Power to itself. What are the downsides? If it doesn’t work then all Emps has to do is stay outside the Absolute’s zone of influence until something else eventually kills him. Not ideal, but pretty doable considering it would have a spelljamming nautiloid at its disposal.

But guess what? The Emperor doesn’t do that. It says “this elder brain unleashed will be the end of everything” and it scrapes together a plan to kill the Absolute while it’s still able to be killed.

The Emperor had the means and ability to nope the hell out, and instead it put itself at the mercy of strangers with nothing but the hope that they would help it stop this apocalyptic threat. It spends the events of the game in a cage of its own making, with its life, its freedom, and the fate of Toril and ultimately every other world lying in the player’s hands.

And at the end, it doesn’t want control of the Absolute. You have to pass a persuasion check to get it to do anything but command the Brain to die. It wants that threat dead.

Then people want to try and argue that the Emperor is evil and only wants to manipulate Tav into taking over the world.

Yeah okay buddy. Sure. Guess we’re playing different games.

[ashleyfableblack]

Posting the following gif caught me a seven-day ban on facebook for "violating community standards on sexual content".

I wish I was kidding. 😂😁😂😁😂

All credit to the OG for this absolutely adorable- and apparently, intensely sexual, piece of animation. 💜💙💚💛💗

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Ted saying that no driver has had this level of attention on them since Michael Schumacher...

Gentlemen, a short view into the past; Max's debut season, his Red Bull debut, the literal rule changed as a result of his debut in the sport... oh and everyone and their mother calling Kimi Max 2.0 and Toto's second chance at signing debut!Max since he failed the first time around...