#codegeassfictive

[fictionkinfessions]

(Post today/tomorrow if possible.)

I know this is going to be posted late /lh. But well, it's still today as I'm writing this.

I never enjoyed celebrating my birthday, I still don't. I'm surrounded by people I don't necessarily consider friends or family. My father is here, unfortunately, but I'm glad that our system keeps him away from me. Especially on days like this, not that I'd think he would even remember his sons own birthday.

Suzaku is here as well, which I'm happy for. I still hold him dear to my heart, as a lover and friend. He's the highlight of today, honestly.

I don't want to do anything for today. The host may cook for me, but that's about it.. Today's never been a day to celebrate, in my opinion.

But I'm thankful for the birthday wishes, at leasr from certain people.

I hope Nunnally, C.C., Kallen, everyone else is doing well. I'll find you someday, I promise.

- Lelouch Lamperouge. (Fictive)

'

[fictive-confessions]

I heard somewhere, that, if I made it to another world after my death somehow, I wouldn't want to return to my world.

How idiotic.

My source was horrible. I despise it with every inch of my being. The things that world put me through, the things it put my friends and family through, those things can never be taken back. We will never fully recover.

But if I had the chance to return to it, I would in a heartbeat.

This world is much nicer. I'm respected as much as any normal teenager in this world would be respected, which isn't a lot, but the important factor is that specific thing. I'm treated like any other teenager. There's no burden on my head to be the prodigy I once was, there was no burden of an entire war resting on my shoulders, death whispering around the corner at every breath.

But I would still give my life again to return to that.

That was my requiem. I was supposed to die. When Suzaku had told me, "when I swing this sword, it will be killing both of us." I didn't understand. But now I do. When he took my life, I took his. I sacrificed Suzaku's metaphorical life, for the sake of my death, for the sake of an entire country. The guilt is harrowing, but I could never regret my actions. Things went as planned for a reason.

The only deviation, is that I'm here. My death was supposed to be repentance for every horrible action, every sin, that I have committed. I was never supposed to return to another world, different from my own. Perhaps this is my repentance, my punishment. To do one last thing before I finally pass, to protect this system, and yet, it's not the repentance I crave. There is nothing for me in this world. There is no one I care for. No one that is worth protecting.

When you die, that's it. That's the end of everything, unless you believe in an afterlife. Though the only afterlife that would befit me would be stabbed to the bedrock of Hell with the end of a rusted fork suitable for beggars to scrape their empty plates with. That is the afterlife I am deserving of. And yet, if there is no afterlife, if there is nothing, I should feel nothing. Lelouch Vi Britannia would meet his end, for good. Death is the final relinquish, the final absolvement. I would never have to see the pain, the anguish my death has caused, because I know it would not matter. Only one person would mourn my death, and although I would rather go through a trillion years of torture than hurt her like that, it was all worth it in the end. To save Britannia, to save Japan.

To be reborn as something else, in a new body, tasked to protect strangers, the fact I am nothing more than a fragment of the mind with my life nothing but a piece of fiction, it aches. I have lost everything, there is no true purpose for my existence. At least, not one worth living for.

So yes. If I could return to my world, I would, in a heartbeat. At least to finally perish.

- Lelouch Vi Britannia. 👑

.

[jesters-court-sys]

Me, going absolutely feral: ITS LELOUCHS BIRTHDAY WAWAWAWA A A-

Lelouch in headspace, sighing:

[fictionkinfessions]

(Post March 11)

I'm getting married today :)). It's not a literal marriage, but it's the closest we'd ever be able to get. One day our partner systems will actually be able to get married in real life as well, but this.. Mini? Mini marriage? Will be fine for now. It still makes me so happy to be with him, and I can't wait to kiss him.

Suzaku, I love you more than anything.

- Lelouch. (Fictive).

[fictive-confessions]

I'm getting married to Suzaku (in our partner system) in just two months and I. /pos

I'm so excited. Even if the system body's aren't getting married, and it's a bit difficult to hold a wedding when separated, I'm still excited. We'll be together soon. Things have been hard for me, both in source and in this system, but Suzaku's always been there. I'm happy, for once. I'm content.

- Lelouch

.

[fictionkinfessions]

I'm tired of the cishets in the code geass fandom. How more obvious does it need to be that I am a gay man. The reason why I was so uninterested in any of the female love interests was one, because I was busy trying to manage a damn war, and two, I didn't like women. Did anyone ever notice at all how C.C., Kallen, and Shirley were all the ones who came onto me, I didn't kiss them back, or how I was completely unphased by the shower scene with Kallen?

Besides, I had my priorities before my love life. Taking down my father and giving my sister the world she wanted was always first on my mind. I don't think it needs to be said that I'm a manipulator. At most I was manipulating Kallen and the others, pretending to care about them. (I did care. Just not in the way I made them believe.)

I am a gay male who had his priorities set on the war going on in front of him. I never had feelings for any of the girls.

- Lelouch Vi Britannia (Fictive).

[fictionkinfessions]

Post this on November 22, MPC.

I would say happy birthday to you but that would be a lie, wouldn't it.

I hope this day turns out horrible for you, Marianne. I hope you're suffering in hell.

- Your adored son, Lelouch Vi Britannia. (Fictive).

[fictionkinfessions]

fictive songs, you can play the first 5 seconds of any rick montgomery song we've heard and our lelouch fictive will tumble into front

[fictionkinfessions]

Sometimes I really wish I could front without the system's friends rushing to talk to me. I don't want to talk to people every single time I front, sometimes I want to be left alone. But of course I can't communicate that without coming off as rude.

- Lelouch Vi Britannia. (Fictive.)

[fictionkinfessions]

(Post this on October 11th.)

Happy birthday, Euphemia. I hope you're well. I'd like to apologize for everything that happened in our source. Your brother will always love you, and I hope today can go as well as it can be.

I send you my best regards, Lelouch. (Fictive.)

[fictionkinfessions]

It's finally the 15th anniversary for Code Geass this month! 🎉🎉🎉 I'm very excited for the announcements this event will bring. My usual ask obligation: lovepost zone for Suzaku and C.C. 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜 - Lelouch #🌙👑🌙

[fictionkinfessions]

This system harasses me by playing Little Miss Perfect when I front because the one month I thought I was straight until I caught feelings for a man. :tired:

- Lelouch. (Fictive) #🥀🌌🛸

[fictionkinfessions]

So far I've been kin assigned Goro Akechi, Golden Freddy, and The Onceler, and honestly I'm only acknowledging the first one. /hj

- Lelouch Vi Britannia. (Fictive.)

#🥀🌌🛸

[fictionkinfessions]

(Post this on July 10, MPC.)

Happy birthday, Suzaku. I hope it's a good one. A reminder that you are loved, and people do care about you. You are the best thing that could've happened to me, and I wouldn't regret a thing if it meant meeting you again. Please take care of yourself. If not for your sake, than for others.

I love you, my knight.

- Lelouch Vi Britannia. (Tag fictive.)

[fictionkinfessions]

Making a list. Our host is cat otherkin, says they're a catboy, and has both meowing stims and tics.

I am literally waiting for the day they turn into a cat in headspace.

- Lelouch Vi Britannia. (Fictive) (#🥀🌌🛸)

[fictionkinfessions]

(TW for described abuse and injury.)

Sharing a system with your abusive father means several panic and PTSD attacks as well as him gaslighting and manipulating you. Not to mention the several wounds (i.e. choking me until my throat is several shades of bruises.) :tired:

At the very least it's nice to hear one of my closest friends call him the Quaker Oats Mascot or George Washington ripoff. That usually makes me smile.

- Lelouch Vi Britannia. (Fictive) (#🥀🌌🛸)