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yaneyanedaze · 4 years

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My Special Girl Pt: 1

(Yandere!Various x Beta!Chubby!Reader)

Whoo boy, it’s my first time taking a step into the realm of Omegaverse, but i hope you guys like it, I am working on My Android Lover and Our Goddess (Which is the Royal Pillarmen story!) those should be coming soon as well! I’m happy to write for you guys and I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

With that! On with the story!

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F/n is a college student with a little problem, She’s a beta that apparently give off the scent of an Omega. So when she finally goes out one day, her life gets turned upside down as multiple Alpha’s try to claim her as theirs.

Will she tell them the truth? or let them find out on their own?

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“Come on f/n, you never go out with me anymore? Are you alright?” My friend, Crys (Pronounced Chris) asked. I shook my head, sighing heavily, already knowing where this conversation was going. I stood up from the table and headed to leave, not wanting to be apart of this. “Hey wait up! F/n!” She whined, following after me, “Is this because of-“ “Do not. Mention. His. Name.” I practically growled, anger dripping from each word that left my lips. I could see the sadness in her eyes as she looked down at the ground, kicking dirt around.

“Come on, that was in the past. We’re in college now!” I rolled my eyes and continued walking on, more annoyed than ever now. “Look, I’ll think about it, Now go please..” I said, as I was now standing in front of my apartment. Her look of somberness quickly turned to glee as she practically bounced with joy. “Yay! You won’t regret it f/n!” “I haven’t agreed yet- annnd she’s gone.”

I watched as she happily skipped away, I shake my head, a ghost of a smile appearing on my face. Walking inside, I was greeted to the cold, crisp air, I could feel the goosebumps already on my skin from the nice, relaxing feeling. My name is F/n L/n, I am a plus size girl in her 3rd year in college, majoring in fine arts, I have two sisters who live with my parents still back in (Hometown). My sisters are both Omegas, as well as my mother, and of course my father is an Alpha, but me?

I got unlucky and ended up being a Beta and because of this they basically shunned me, even though I was the baby of the family. They didn’t want anyone to know that I was apart of their family. Then again, she didn’t like me anyways because i was a bit on the plump side, I had a chest, curves and a butt, so i guess i had everything that she wanted. She used to call me names, pick on me because of my weight and even my sisters joined in on it, while my dad just sat and watched. So I eventually ended up moving away to go and live with my Grandmother. She was a beta as well, so I don’t understand why my Mom hated me so much when her mother was the very thing I am. My Grandma loved me and cared about me, she bought me anything i’d like, make sure i was happy and never judged me . Soon she knew I was going to be heading off soon so she helped me get my own little apartment and car for school. I still visit her when ever i can.

My friend Crys was also an Omega, I don’t even know why she bothered because she was kind of considered the top tier of the school. But she’s been by my side since elementary school (minus..that incident.) and has been a huge sweetheart.

But again, it sucked.

Crys wanted me to go to a party on campus, but I usually don’t do well at parties, cause you know anxiety is a thing, and why go be social when you have Netflix. I groaned loudly “Why musty I have such a soft spot for that girl!!” I yelled out as I dragged myself to my room to get ready when I get a call from my best friend, Reimi. She was a sweet girl with bubblegum pink hair and big redish/pink eyes, She’s another friend that I’ve known for years, and I’m a lot closer to her than I am with Crys.

“N/n! I heard you were going to the party! Someone must’ve black mailed you into going” She jokingly, I rolled my eyes and chuckled slightly as I roamed through my closet looking for something to put on. “Oh shush! Crys persuaded me to go with her puppy dog eyes.” I explained getting a soft ‘Oh’ from her. “Well I was just calling to see, I’m not going do to exams, I gotta crunch that study time” “I understand, I just wish I would stay home but I’ve already got an outfit out and Crys is expecting me.” I say pulling out a cute pink dress. It was a bodycon dress with slits on the sides and a sweetheart neckline, i smiled and shrugged, tossing over on the bed so I could wear it. It was a gift from my grandmother one year for my birthday. “Well, let me go so you can finish getting dressed! See Ya!” “See ya Reim” She hung up the phone and i headed over to the bathroom to freshen up and finish up.

I sighed and looked at myself in the mirror as I walked past, Even after all these years, I was still having a problem with loving myself. I guess my mom really did affect me more than i thought she was going to, I shook my head and slapped my cheeks.”Come on You’re gonna have fun tonight!” I say hyping myself up before i go in the bathroom to get ready.

(TimeSkip)

It was around 8:00pm when Crys and I pull up at the party, It was being hosted by one of the most popular boys of the school, Joseph Joestar, and of course, he was an Alpha. It’s probably the only reason Cyrs wanted to go to be honest. Speaking of the red head, she was wearing a pretty blue tube top with matching skirt, silver hoop earrings and a glittery choker. She wore heels to the party, but i know she had a change of shoes in her bag for when she get tired.

We both got out and she let out an excited squeal, “Yes! Look at us! two friends going out together, come on we’re gonna have fun just like the good old days!” She exclaimed, grabbing my hand and pulling me inside. Once we reached inside an overwhelming scent hit me straight in the face, I nearly dropped, but Crys caught me and giggled only making me nudge her as we walked in. We smiled and waved as we saw some of our classmates and some new people as well. But soon we separated as I had gotten tired of walking around already, and I usually didn’t do well in social environments.

I wandered around the large house until i came across a room that looked to be another sitting area, so I found the corner and sat down near it. I apparently didn’t hear the footsteps coming up beside me either.

“Surprised to see you here, F/n, Didn’t think you’d come to parties.”

I jumped slightly in my spot, turned and nearly fainted.

Jotaro Kujo was leaning against the wall behind me. He was one of my classmates, and he really didn’t come to class much, but when he did, you knew. Because majority of the girls would be swooning over him while the poor guy just wanted to rest and do his work. “Ah, I came with a friend, I got a bit tired, So I just came here to rest a bit,” He hummed in agreement as he leaned there. “Joseph made me come, said i needed to get out more, I would’ve been fine with chilling at home reading my marine biology books.” he said letting out a soft chuckle, followed by a ghost of a smile.

I felt like i was living some girls dream, To be sitting here chatting casually here with Jotaro would make them just melt. But to me he was just a normal guy, someone who loved marine biology and all things about the ocean. He was a gentle giant, at least towards me. “Let’s go outside, Its getting too stuffy in here.” He said, grabbing my hand, leading me outside, we pushed past people, saying my excuse me’s when we bumped into people.

Once we reached outside, I looked up at the sky seeing stars in the sky, all of them twinkling brightly, all of them just as beautiful as the next. Jotaro was also looking up at the sky as well, but he looked like he was contemplating something, like he wanted to say something, but he couldn’t.

“Jotaro? Are you Okay?”

(Jotaro’s Pov)

I breathed out slowly, gripping my fist as I let out a soft growl. ‘Why can’t i just get this over with.’ I thought to myself, She was standing right beside me. This cute girl, who didn’t find me scary, who didn’t just fawn over me like I was an object. Did she even know what I was? Other would be practically drooling over me, I’ve even had some males fawn over me. I glanced over at her and saw her face in awe looking at the sky. The way the moonlight glossed over her perfectly chubby cheeks, the way that dress hugged her curves and fitted her body in all the right places. If I wasn’t able to control myself I would’ve taken her right here and now, not caring that anyone else would see. They would know she is mine, and no one would dare look at her or try to claim her.

I was so lost in my thoughts I didn’t even hear her call my name out.

“Jotaro? Are you Okay?” I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to face her fully, she was about 5′1, so compared to me she was so small, She would fit so perfectly in my arms. I mentally slapped myself and let out a sigh before speaking. “Are you dating anybody?” I asked, and it came out blunt, but i didn’t mean it to, panic started to surge up in me as I didn’t want to come off as rude to her. But she seemed to ignore the tone of my voice and answered anyways with a smile. “Uh..no, I’m not really the dating person, i’ve ever only crushed on one person.” She admitted, a small blush on her face. ‘Thats cute.’ I thought as I watched her. She would be the perfect wife, I could see her swollen and round with my children, welcoming me home from a long day at work. I was happy with the response she said so I couldn’t help but give a slight smirk and a chuckle which seemed to surprise her as I saw another plus appear on her cheeks.

That’s when it hit me, She had a sweet scent to her, one that reminded me of roses and sugar, it gave off such an innocent vibe, not compared to some of these other girls around this place. She did say she’s only liked one person, so maybe that’s why, but I couldn’t wrap my head around it,it was teasing me, she looked to cute and innocent. I shook my head and let out a low growl hoping she didn’t hear, and luckily Joseph came outside just in time to save me from myself.

“There you are! I thought you had left, didn’t know you were out here chatting up this cutie here~!”

He said teasingly. F/n didn’t pay him no mind and neither did I. “Shut up, are you done hoeing around?” I asked, now standing in front of F/n. He smirked and laughed at my comment before throwing an arm around my shoulder. “I wouldn’t call it that, I was just looking for a girl~, but to answer your questions, no, I didn’t see anyone I like..that is..” He stepped around me and grabbed F/n’s hand.

(Pov Switch)

I jumped slightly when Joseph suddenly grabbed my hand. “You’re such a beautiful sight Baby doll~ How come i have never seen you around?~” He asked and I was about to answer until Jotaro practically growled at him. “Okay Okay jeez, i’ll back off for now~” He said, getting the hint. he scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to me before heading back into the house. He was gone as quickly as he came, i looked down at the paper in my hand and saw it was his phone number with hearts beside it. I rolled my eyes and giggled slightly.

“Don’t pay attention to him, thats how he always acts around girls he doesn’t know” Jotaro says before pulling down his hat and handing me his own piece of paper. I looked at it and saw it had his number on it but a date on it as well. “That day, after class, be ready we’re going out.” he said bluntly and walked back inside. I was in shock, so i didn’t immediately follow him. I had gotten two numbers in one night, both of them guys that all the girls loved. Needless to say, I didn’t know whether to be scared or excited, but i felt something.

I just didn’t know what.

I eventually walked around to the front to find Crys waiting on me. She smiled at me and started talking as we walked to the car. “Soo~ Did you have fun~?” She asked getting over into the drivers side. I nodded slightly, a smile growing on my lips, “yea..I did..” I said as I looked out the window, thinking about Jotaro, and excited for the next few days.

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I hope you guys liked this, as i stated above this is my first time really writing something like this and i also hope that i didn’t write Jotaro and Joseph too OOC, if i did let me know and i’ll try to fix it!

#JJBA #yandere jjba #yandere jojo #yandere Jotaro #jotaro x reader #yandere jotaro x reader #Jotaro Kujo #Joseph Joestar #joseph joestar x reader #jojos bizarre adventure #yandere jojos bizarre adventure #Jojo no Kimyou na Bouken #yane writes #omegaverse

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pastel9girlbunny000die · 4 years

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Age Gap... AU

One Piece~

♡The characters are all between 27-29 unless said otherwise

♡The s/o is between 16-18

Warning: ...Kissing and Cuddles? PDA, nakedness and language.

Part 2

Exstra 😱😵🖊 {At some point I couldn't stop writing.}

Portgas D. Ace 🔥

🔥You met Ace at school during one of your art classes.

🔥He came in to do a favor for one of your teachers, to give tips on art and give you guys professional guidance and at some point he posed as a model.

🔥Yes a model !!!

🔥Soooo you kinda got to see him naked the first time you met, he was opened with all his god like built.

🔥When the class was done sketching. He caught a glimpse of your work seeing as it wasn't nearly done, so he offered to stay longer for you to finish.

🔥God damn you wish he didn't, him being there is the very reason your sketch wasn't done. It was too embarrassing to look at a naked man infront of you and sketch.

🔥Not knowing which to concentrate on?

🔥Ace saw that, and offer to help you like exstra lessons at his home maybe improve the areas you lack at.

🔥And you gladly took that offer.

🔥At some point after teaching you for half a year. You started just acting like a couple without knowing when it actually happened.

🔥Ace loves his s/o with every bit of his heart.

🔥You spend most of you free time with each other, either sketching each other or chilling playing video games or talking.

🔥Ace is a professional artist, with both a degree and diploma in practical arts, so ofcourse his art is going to so much more advanced than yours.

🔥You love staring at him while he paints.

🔥Ace loves not wearing a shirt proves he is comfortable in his own skin, he also got his s/o into wearing less clothes.

🔥With the less clothes you got use to drawing him only in boxers.

🔥And somehow you guys turned into that couple that's completely fine with walking around each other naked in his apartment alone.

🔥Ace's job is something he loves doing while having fun. Yes he does teach arts at a university.

🔥Remember your still in high school not in a college/university.. yet.

🔥Ace is a very clingy man he will hug you a lot even when his naked. He gives you a lot of pet names he's favorite is, teachers pet.

🔥He doesn't do small half ass kisses. Its either long and passionate or heavily horny make out.

🔥Ace's s/o loves the tattoos on his skin, trenching her/his fingers over his arm or back.

🔥Ace reminds you of a cowboy though to his country style and mostly the hat in his bedroom.

🔥Yes you have met his friends especially Marco, you didn't mind hanging out with them their nice people and fun.

🔥You met Ace's family the first week he started teaching you. You met his two brothers and his Father that goes by White Beard.

🔥The second White Beard met you, he told Ace to never let you go or he will beat the crab out of him

🔥Ace took it to heart and loved you even more.

🔥You never really told your parents that your dating Ace. One day you just brought him home and hanged out in your room, at some point they just assume you guys are dating and they we're all right with it.

🔥When it comes to drawing Ace, you love to draw his face the most, make it look like his freckles are stars.

🔥His black hair and freckles are the most notable features on him.

🔥Your first date, wasn't that bad except at a random part he fell asleep

🔥In the beginning when he started teaching you, you though he was just tired but it happens frequently so it made you worried.

🔥He calmed your nerves telling you he has narcolepsy and his fine, might fall asleep at random times but his okay.

🔥It made you relax, and questioned him if there's a way to stop it but he only shook his head and dropping down on you snoring as he sleep hug you.

🔥You can only ask him help with art work/homework anything related to art otherwise not he can't help, he'd be just as dumbfounded as you.

🔥He inspired you to get a tattoo of your own name in your (Body part), but he was against the idea of a random person touching so he did it himself.

🔥Accidentally spelled one letter wrong so he had to cross it out, you strated yapping at him that he did it purposely.

🔥He made it up to you by giving you another tattoo on your (Body part) that was your favorite (animal of your choice/any tattoo of your choice.)

🔥You guys never gets mistaken for relatives or family members even friends, cause Ace's is all over you, making out even sucking on your neck.

🔥But they do know you guys have an age difference but they don't know how much

🔥His already in his late twenties, and doesn't care as long as you are with him and love him for who he is rather than his age he'll love you back.

🔥You were happy afterwards.

🔥PDA *Public display of affection*

🔥He would hold your hand even kiss you.

🔥But he loves wrapping an arm around your waist having you lean against his body.

🔥Signaling others that you are taken and your his property.

🔥PDA kissing😏😳 just like I said, Ace only allows long and passionate or heavily horny make out kissing.

🔥He makes sure sexual tension rise when your with him, his happy knowing you desire him, so does he.

🔥The fire in your relationship might take a very long time to whither away.

🔥He loves you dearly.

Exstra exstra!!!

Portgas D. Shanks 🍺

🍺Unlike the others Shanks is way older. Reaching 37.

🍺But very childish and energetic.

🍺You decided to take on a part time job just to own a little side cash for yourself, you start working as a waitress/waiter at an old diner in town.

🍺One day Shanks and his friends came in after work to hang out and drink the place dry having some sort of celebration.

🍺And his glad he came along, (His friends might've made him go unwilling) but his glad one glimpse of you and he already knows what's for dinner on the menu.

🍺At first glance he didn't seem very approachable, maybe it was his appearance the three scars over his eye or maybe his big god like built

🍺But once spoken to him he passed off a kind caring and loving atmosphere his actions where so nice he even apologized for accidentally touching your hand

🍺Through out the night he shot complements and cheesey pick up lines, that made you either giggle or blush.

🍺You where kinda sad when he left. (or rather his friends dragged his black out ass out of the diner)

🍺You really wanted his number or at least his name.

🍺The next day he came in for breakfast, you were lucky to catch him, some how you talked the day over with him.

🍺So on he came in everyday, either for breakfast lunch or dinner, which pleased you very much.

🍺on some occassions you joined him, being able to enjoy the food you cooked and seeing him enjoy your cooking as well as the beer you pour for him.

🍺One evening your co worker pointed out that you must have been enjoying your dates.

🍺You were a little confused but decided to ask Shanks himself

🍺"Yeah, we've been going on dates for awhile now, why?"

🍺"u-umm?" That was your only response.

🍺You just let go, and decided to start calling yourself Shanks's girlfriend/boyfriend.

🍺He made sure you never regret it

🍺Later on you guys hanged out more outside of your part time job, and more at his house

🍺He began loving you more and more each day he's kinda a clingy guy

🍺He loves holding you in his arm and kissing you all over your face and neck.

🍺Only way he can show you how much he respects and care even loves you.

🍺He was happy that you didn't back away when you saw his missing arm.

🍺But you love how he still cable of a lot of things and doesn't need anyone's pity

🍺It makes you few him in a new light

🍺But sometimes he takes advantage of his disability and asks for your help, like putting on his shirt or drying his hair, a lot of other more minor stuff that might give you naughty thoughts.

🍺You know exactly what he's doing, but you get to enjoy it too.

🍺He can't help but laugh at you blushing at his bare skin, he loves you trying to be innocent

🍺Shanks has great friends their all lively like him and loves to drink as much as him. Whenever you come over to his place you might meet 3 or 7 of his friends enjoying a beer and BBQ.

🍺They respect Shanks very much, and is happy for him that he found someone that can deal with his childlike nature and take care of him at the same time

🍺When you are hanging out with them, they always tease Shanks and you making Shanks fall in a fit of laughter and you blush madly in his lap.

🍺School work/homework is something you can easily ask Shanks about he might not have all the answers but he knows more than he lets on.

🍺So at times you get better grades than you did before, the way he explained some things made it easier hand that you played more attention to your hot older boyfriend.

🍺But Shanks doesn't have much family left and never saw why you need to meet those his not close too.

🍺You just simply forgot to introduce him to your parents.

🍺Until it back fired, you forgetting to introduce him made the situation even more difficult.

🍺You just mindlessly invited him to a one of your family BBQ's and he cheerfully agreed.

🍺Once he came by the weekend that's when you remember that you forgot to introduce him to your parents before your family and distance relatives and family friends.

🍺You sucked it up and acted normal, which displeased Shanks since you didn't sit on his lap or kiss him much not even hugs.

🍺At first he thought you were embarrassed of him but saw you running around handing drinks and snacks to those who just use you as an little servant girl/boy, too lazy to get off their own asses and do it themselves.

🍺He also knows you have a hard time saying no, since you are a good person and very nice

🍺He decided to deal with the matter himself.

🍺Place down his beer, he grabbed your little ass that was about to hurry pass him, pulling you down onto his lap hugging you to his chest.

🍺Your tired body automatically rest on him laying your face in his neck

🍺Not a few seconds later you two started having a nice loving conversation he made you giggle at his words. Rubbing his hand in circles on your back.

🍺Making you love him more.

🍺That's when your mother/mom came by angry calling you lazy for not helping the others around.

🍺Before you could get up and back to "helping" the family, Shanks grip around your waist tighten.

🍺"Listen here, miss. I'm not a rude guy but the table is right over there, now I haven't seen (y/n) for entire week cause of my business trip. Now they can serve themselves, or can they all not walk."

🍺Your mother/mom got furious now turning to you.

🍺"Whose this?" She simply pointed at the red head

🍺"(Y/n)'s man... lover... Boyfriend. Which do you prefer miss?"

🍺"I forbid you to see him ever again."

🍺"You can't. (Y/n) is 18 an gown adult so she/he can make her/his own decisions. You have no say in the matter."

🍺Your mother/mom huffed crossing her arms stomping away. Not liking him one bit

🍺Your Dad/father couldn't help but laugh liking Shanks even more.

🍺This is the kind of guy he'd let his daughter/son marry one that can stand up to your mother/mom stupid shit.

🍺You thought that was the end but the tables quickly turned on your mother/mom.

🍺Shanks is truly the one for you.

🍺So having him meet your parents didn't go all that well especially with your mother/mom.

🍺The things you love about Shanks ofcourse his personality and body.

🍺But his red hair is what you love the most, running your fingers through the red locks makes you happy all the time. Is truly a beautiful color.

🍺Red has a range of symbolic meanings, including life, health, vigor, war, courage, anger, love and religious.

🍺You even asked if its his natural hair color and you got a yes, he even proofed with some baby pictures of himself.

🍺Which you adore the ones that his near your age.

🍺But you will always love the him who is in front of you the him you met and fell in love with.

🍺Shanks has a pretty good job, he is the owner of one of the biggest four business company in the world.

🍺Yes! That means his quite rich. Your set for life marrying him.

🍺That's where some of his friends teases him, calling him your Sugar Daddy.

🍺You have never really asked him for anything not even a penny. If you want money you make your own.

🍺A gift, you refuse any gift unless it is his love and affection that you'd gladly take.

🍺Shanks drinks alot sometime you question his liver. When his drunk his someone that anyone would like around a happy drunk, his not sad or angry, just ×10 more cheerful and clingy.

🍺PDA *Public display of affection*

🍺He wants bear hugs daily. Once your in his lap he doesn't let you out for a long time same goes for your butterfly kisses he wants them daily.

🍺He'd die without your attention.

🍺Your eyes must always meet his.

🍺PDA kissing 🍻😚~ Shanks doesn't mind cheek kisses or a make out session, he thinks it's brave of you that he won't take you then and there.

🍺At home DA *Display of affection*

🍺He loves when you leave a trail of kisses on his neck down to his lower abdomen, it happens rarely but he just loves being under your touch

🍺The little things you do for him makes him wanna keep you for himself.

***

The End.

Maybe~😏

#one piece #fanfic #male reader #fem reader #one piece fanfic #portgas d ace #portgas d shanks #Shanks #Ace

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

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Survey #397

“you’re my religion, you’re my reason to live / you are the heaven in my hell”

Do you think that you’ll always love who you love now? Even if we're never together again romantically, I will ALWAYS love her at least as a best friend. Have you ever made out with a random person? Yeah, no. If you could do your first kiss over, would you? No. I'm lucky that my first kiss was honestly cute as hell. Do you like your country’s president or prime minister? Well I voted for him, so I obviously can't hate him. He seems to be doing fine so far, though take that with a grain of salt seeing as I don't keep up with politics. Even before voting for him, I just did a small bit of researching on his values. What color is your house? Yellow with white accents. Do you listen to Christmas music during the holiday season? No, I don't enjoy it. Man, Jason's mom sure did, though... I loved how in the spirit she'd get and always played Christmas music in the car during that time of year. I miss that woman and I sure as hell hope she rests easy now. Do you like ginger ale? Solely if I have a stomach bug, and I can only ever sip it. What are you listening to? "Electric Sugar Pop" by Jeffree Star. What’s the last thing you watched on TV? The TMS office has the TV on, and the woman who overlooks it (I have zero idea what her position is called) tends to have it either on a cooking channel or a home improvement one. Today was a cooking one. Is your favorite author the author of your favorite book? I don't have a favorite author. Describe someone you find really attractive: M-Mark Fischbach. *___* If you HAD to look like someone else, but could choose who, who would you choose? Hm... maybe my friend Alon. I've mentioned I feel like a million times that she is like, ethereal with how gorgeous she is. Have you ever seen someone get a tattoo done? If so, what was it? Did they cry or were they in a lot of pain? Yeah; it was a watercolor feather with "ohana" written below it. She didn't cry at all, but she grit her teeth a few times. Do you have anything you couldn’t go a day without? Some form of technology. Have you ever gotten caught doing something illegal? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Vitamin Water? I don't even think I've ever tried it. Is there someone you wanna date right now? Yeah. What first attracted you to the last person you kissed? If we're talking the very first, our vast similar interests. How many brothers does your father have? None. Does your best friend have any tattoos? No. Do you like Ben + Jerry’s? Yep. Man, I want their Phish Food ice cream now. Would you ever wish to be the opposite sex? Nah. Do you think you’re attractive? Nope. What is your favorite card game to play? Magic: The Gathering. I really miss my PS3 where I had Duel of the Planeswalkers installed on it, it was really fun. Do you own a globe? I don't think we still do. What is your favorite wild cat? Perhaps clouded leopards. If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? South Africa, Sara's place, and maybe a nice little cabin in the mountains for when I'm feeling a peaceful getaway. You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? I have zero idea. What’s a place you have a strong emotional connection to? The pond behind the local community college. Jason and I took our first prom pictures there. Do you take yoga classes? No, but I'm actually considering it since they offer those at the YMCA Mom and I now go to. What is a decision you’ve made that changed your entire life? To let Jason go. It's pretty great, my PTSD has been less of a bother lately! Have you ever made any money from a side-hustle? Could you consider being paid to take pictures once in a blue moon a "side hustle" when I don't even have a main job? Do you ever wonder what kind of person you’d have turned out to be if a certain event never happened to you? Ugh... it's incredibly painful to wonder how life would be if Jason never left. If you could have anyone’s singing voice, whose would you choose? Adele's or Amy Lee's, probs. What are your top 3 favorite genres of music? Metal, hard rock, alternative. Do you think Mars will be colonized in your lifetime? No. Have you ever been homeless? If so, what led to your homelessness? Technically, yes, because Mom couldn't afford the rent. She, my little sister (who still lived with us at the time), and I each were accepted into the homes of willing, kind people, though. Have you ever been on a ship? No. Who was Van Halen’s better singer - David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar? David. Which fictional character has the most memorable quotes? Heath Ledger's Joker is quoted all the time, so probably him. What do you think of the "Healthy At Every Size" movement/philosophy? Before I answer this, I want you to keep in mind that this is coming from someone who is obese, so I would positively love to agree with that for my own self-confidence, but I don't. I believe it's a very dangerous mentality. I think you should cherish your body unconditionally, like it's an amazing machine, but I firmly believe you should have an active interest in becoming what is physically healthy. You couldn't pay me millions to convince me that, say, a 300 lb. person is healthy. What was the name of the first person you ever had a crush on? Why did you like them? I think my first *real* crush was this guy Sebastian my freshman year of high school. I thought he was very sweet, funny, caring, and attractiveness was a bonus. What food will you absolutely not, under any circumstances, eat? Sashimi, caviar, raw eggs... Which famous person would you like to be BFFs with? Bindi Irwin, for one. What kind of natural disaster is most common where you live? Hurricanes. Have you ever had an animal get into your attic? No. Have you ever been bitten so hard that there teeth marks were there after? I mean I've had hickeys before if that's what you're asking. Ever gave one? Oh, I guess you were. Yeah. Do you think its weird if guys wear make-up like eyeliner? Not at all. Would you ever date a disabled person? (Be honest) Yes. Would you rather adopt or have your own child? IF I wanted kids, I'd rather have one myself because I'm well aware I personally need that special connection. Stepkids count, too, because they'd be my partner's and therefore very important for me too. What is the most personal question you have ever been asked? Probably TMI, so here's your fair warning, but I've been asked before if I "touch" myself and I was absolutely repulsed that someone would ask me that. Were you abused by your parents? No. If you’re not straight, who was the first person you came out to? Sara. Were you one of the smartest in your class? Up to finishing high school, modestly, I was. Where did you meet your first crush? Art class my freshman year of high school. Do you ever go places with wet hair? Yeah, idc. Who is your favorite little girl? My niece Aubree. She's such a wonderful girl. Does your best friend have kids? No. If you were pregnant, would you want a boy or a girl? Hypothetically, a girl. What place outside of your own home do you spend the most time at? Um, maybe my older sister's house? Have you ever participated in a medical study? No. Do you have any family members who are cancer survivors? Yes, including my mother. Twice. Are you allergic to any medications? None that I've tried. Do you have any licenses other than your driver's license? I don't even have that. If you’re atheist, would you raise you kids believing in God or not? No; I wouldn't intervene with their own spiritual (or lack thereof) journey. They'd learn what they'd learn and decide themselves what they believe. Do you like reading self-help books? No, I just can't get invested in those. What is your opinion on sex change? If you're unhappy with your body, you're more than free to surgically change that with no judgment from me. Do you have any goals for this summer? If so, what are they? Yes, to lose weight. Can you get a strike at bowling? I have before. There was one occasion where my first go was a strike RIGHT after saying I sucked at bowling, hahaha. Do you ever take pictures of negative moments? Well, I photograph roadkill, and that's one hell of a sad moment. I actually wouldn't mind broadening my horizons of photographing negative moments (with permission of course), because I actually find these very impactful and even builds empathy. I will never, ever forget this one picture I saw sometime of an emaciated boy huddled in the dirt with a vulture close by watching him... like fuck, it made me want to sob. No one should ever have to live like that, especially a child. Would you ever post a picture of yourself crying on social media? No. I know that sounds contradictory to what I just said, I just wouldn't be able to do it myself. Have you ever held a newborn baby? Once, when my last niece was born. I'm terrified of holding them because they're just so fragile. Do you know anyone who has twins? My friend just had triplets. What is your favorite country in Europe? Germany. Are you thriving in your life right now? BOY HOWDY- Do you remember to water plants? I don't keep plants. Name three YouTubers you aspire to be like. 1.) Markiplier in a vast plethora of ways; 2.) Jeffree Star for his incredible work ethic; and 3.) Shane Dawson for his incredible compassion. Yes. I know the controversy, but regardless, he cares a lot about people. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I wouldn't know, given I haven't read the books or seen the movies. Do you watch PewDiePie? Not anymore; his content doesn't interest me anymore. I watched him religiously back in the day when he was a serious let's player, though. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No, not personally. I like watching LPs of it and I find the story fascinating, but it's not the kind of game I'd enjoy playing. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. I don't think I ever beat it, except maybe once. Are you wearing socks right now? No; unless I'm wearing closed-toe shoes like sneakers, I never do. I hate the feeling of them. Can you twerk? Haven't tried, don't wanna. Do you like dabbing? No, it looks stupid. Do you like fishing? I honestly do think it's fun with all the anticipation and thrill of seeing how big the fish is, however I don't support it anymore unless, like hunting, you genuinely need it for food. The only case where I'd go again was if my dad asked me, because that's always been our bonding experience. Do you have a Spotify account? Yes. Have you heard of Blizzard Entertainment? Well, they're the company behind World of Warcraft, so obviously. Do you like bananas? Yes, but only for a VERY short window of time. I am beyond picky with the ripeness of bananas. Are you addicted to anything? Caffeine and technology. Do you know your phone number? I actually don't. Do you swear in front of children? No.

#survey #surveys #random questions #lyrics: ''here for you'' by ozzy osbourne

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thatmultifandomhoe · 4 years

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The Extremely Large Tag Game

ATagged By: @dreamystuffers thank you sweet pea and HOLY SHIT THIS REALLY IS THE ULTIMATE TAG GAME BUT I AM READY.

SECTION ONE: First and last tag: post the first line of a wip as well as the last line you’ve written so far!

So I have several Wips at the moment and whelp, I’m gonna do them all lol.

The Size of a Heart: Wonho and Reader (Drabble)

First Line Written: The sky was burning as the sun set for the night, cloaking the city in its familiar darkness.

Last Line Written: “I tell myself that it’s better if it hurts, but I…I can’t anymore…I can’t.”

Tentatively Falling: Vampire Jongdae and Reader (Series)

First Line Written: Strobe lights flashed around the dark bar, drawing your attention every now and then when they went wild as the bass dropped.

Last Line Written: It was more than you ever thought, but it was exactly what you dreamt about hearing him say.

Heavenly Father: Boyfriend Yoongi, Priest Jimin, Alter boy Jungkook, and Reader (Smut Crack Drabble - Title May Change)

First Line Written: The stain glass windows in the Church were a sight to see during the day, the sunlight streaming through and bringing life to the images during the service, and brought a sense of comforting to those during times of trouble.

Last Line Written: Jimin groaned and your eyes watered when your nose was pressed against the base, his dick down your throat.

Knitting You a Home: Wolf Hybrid Namjoon and Reader (Series)

First Line Written: The wind howled while rain pelted your house as the storm refused to let up.

Last Line Written: For the moment, his thoughts were cleared, allowing him to fall asleep with you safely in his arms.

SECTION TWO. Enter 15 of your biases and put them in this order to discover the story of your life

Parent: Hongjoong

well I mean he is pretty daddy at times

Sibling: Jongdae

Grandparent: Sammy

Haunts you: Vernon

Significant other: Jooheon

HELL YEAH BITCHES

Ex: Yuta

damn that’s...that’s a change

Best friend: Chanyeol

Proposed to you: Yoongi

Was this before Jooheon or after Jooheon? Who’s my ass with?

Your boss: Taeyong

Random person you meet a the bar: Seonghwa

Rival: Bang Chan

BUT HE’S THE SWEETEST HUMAN BEING THO

First kiss: Namjoon

Drunk and singing karaoke with: Wonho

Played seven minutes in heaven with: Felix

Gave you your favorite dessert: Jackson

I...I can see this one. He’s sweet to do that

SECTION THREE. Describe your bias by their vibes as if they were someone in your life. (I’m doing my Ults, 1 from each group.)

Jongdae (EXO): The guy that everyone knows because he’s the one with that distinguishable laugh. The class clown that knows the limits and only crosses them on rare occasions. You think you know him but then he’ll say something that you never knew about him. Craves his independence but is the quiet one when in a large group, smiling as he watches the more energetic ones run about. An old soul trapped in a young body.

Yoongi (BTS): The one who devotes himself to his work and rarely sees the light of day. His room is littered with empty to go cups of coffee mixed with his own assortment of coffee mugs Coffee ring stains on furniture. You think he’s not listening or paying attention but when you least expect it, he’ll quietly do something or hand you a gift that he knows you treasure. He’ll never ask for cuddles, but he’ll always give them to you and refuse to let you go when you try to get up. Wise beyond his years because he’s suffered and doesn’t wish it on anyone else.

Yuta (NCT): The popular guy that at first everyone warns you about, but once you get to know him yourself, you don’t know why they warned you in the first place because he’s a total sweetheart. The guy who flirts with everyone and anyone, but remains loyal to his girl. He’s never without his iced coffee, and he’s dyeing his hair in the bathtub with a friend to help make sure it doesn’t go too wrong. Will entertain your drunk texts. He’s the one to text at 2 am when you’re feeling alone and down and he’ll do what he can to lift you back up with nothing but the truth.

Hongjoong (Ateez): He’s the guy who doesn’t give a shit about trends or styles, he creates his own. The guy who does the piercings at the local tattoo shop knows him by name because he’s gotten so many of his piercings done there. He is the Fashion DIY King. Will roast his friends the hardest because he loves them the most and takes it when they dish it back. Somehow manages to rock hairstyles - long live the mullet - that no one thought should have ever existed. Don’t let him cook though. If he cooks you’ll end up with food poisoning. He’s the one who will let you try makeup tricks and new products on him. Secretly amazing at painting nails.

Wonho (Monsta X): He’s the guy friend that you never expected to be friends with. Him? You? Total opposites on a physical scale. On completely different levels. Once you get to know him, he’s a total teddy bear. Doesn’t question it when you suddenly appear and hug him without saying a word, he’ll simply hug you back while maintaining the conversation he had going. Or he’ll simply surprise you with a hug because he likes them.

Bang Chan (Stray Kids): He’s the one that always has his earbuds in even during class. Like he’s the guy that has the earbud going through the sleeve of his hoodie and is pressing his palm against his ear to listen to the music. Listens to everyone, even if he doesn’t know them that well and gives really good advice if they ask for it.

Jackson (Got7): The guy that you can hear a mile away. Hyper. Can’t sit still to save his life. He was the guy that you’d see doing laps in the hallway with his friends when he should have been in class, but he was the nice one. Passionate and when you ask him about what he’s working on, he’ll talk about it for hours. Will also apologize multiple times for going on but then continue to go on.

SECTION FOUR. Search your name + “core aesthetic” on Pinterest and make yourself a moodboard

SECTION FIVE. Make a normal and fantasy version of yourself using this !

SECTION SIX. Writing tag game!

What is your ideal setting for focusing on your writing?

A quiet office where I can play music softly in the background and be at a desk with a comfortable chair.

What Genre do you prefer to write?

Slice of Life, Young Adult, College Age.

Do you prefer to write on paper or digitally?

Both.

It’s the middle of the night and you suddenly wake up with an idea. What do you do?

Make a note of it in either my notebook or in the notes section on my phone.

Who is your favorite person to write about?

Jimin and Hoseok

Do you like making your own characters, or do you usually write about real people?

I like to do both. Honestly, it’s kinda like a mix of both. With some of my fics, the only thing that makes them fanfics are that I’m using the real person’s name, and I’ll pin point on certain aspects of their physical features. In Brotið Hjarta, the only thing that connects to it being Namjoon is his name, and maybe his hair style/color and ear piercings, everything else was what I imagined it to be.

Have you ever written a book/story with more than 15 chapters (100K words)?

Yes. Strawberry Cream and BBQ

How often do you get ideas?

From everyday life, sometimes I’ll be daydreaming and it kinda morphs into a story or a fanfic and so I’ll make notes so that I don’t forget it.

Do you ever get an idea that you really like, but just can’t seem to finish?

Yessss, all the time.

What is your least favorite plot?

I don’t know about least favorite plots, but I do hate it when fics dive straight into a story without any background or anything. Wait, so maybe that’s pwp fics????? I don’t want to be a hypocrite, but even with my fics that primarily focus on smut, I still add in those background details and give them a teeny tiny plot.

SECTION SEVEN. Put your music on shuffle and reveal the first ten songs that come on.

The Kids Aren’t Alright - Fall out Boy

In the Dark - Bring Me the Horizon

Teeth - 5 Seconds of Summer

All In - Monsta X

To the Beat - Ateez

Shot - Lil’ Jon

Daechwita - Agust D

Treasure - Ateez

Adore You - Harry Styles

Guys My Age - Hey Violet

SECTION EIGHT. Questions tag:

Relationships: 2

Break-ups: 2

Kids: Right now? 0

Brothers and Sisters: 1 older brother.

Pets: 0

Surgeries: 0

Tattoos: 0

Countries you’ve been to: 0

Been in an airplane: yes

Been in an ambulance: yes

I sing karaoke: hell no.

Ice skating: I like it but I suck at it and have only been able to go during school events in the past.

Been on a cruise: hell no

Driven a motorcycle: nope

Ridden a horse: yes

Stayed in a hospital: nope

Favorite fruit or berry: Raspberries

Favorite color: Magenta

Last text: “Perfect! I’ll let you know when I am able to send yours out!” - I do pen palling and was letting someone know when I could send them a post card in exchange for the one I’m getting.

Cat or dog: Cat

Favorite pizza: White sauce pizza with chicken and feta cheese

Met a star: nope

Flown a helicopter: nada

Been on TV: nope

Broken my leg: nope

Seen a ghost: don’t believe in them.

Been sick in a taxi: nope

Seen someone die: no

SECTION NINE: Fifteen questions tag:

One ; it’s your birthday! what did you ask for?

Gift cards, um...(this is bad because my birthday is actually coming up) maybe some things from my Amazon list?

Two ; what was the last song / album you listened to?

WAP by Cardi B

Three ; what is your go to snack when you’re hungry?

Chocolate, cookies or cookies dipped in peanut butter

Four ; what is your morning routine?

Wake up, check messages on my phone while still in bed, get up, make coffee, maybe eat breakfast, drink coffee in bed, listen to music/watch videos or read on phone while drinking coffee, get dressed, brush teeth and skincare routine, make bed.

Five ; what mythical creature would you be?

An Elf? Or a Forest Witch. Something that has to do with the Earth and nature.

Six ; how do you interact with someone you don’t like?

I give short and straight to the point answers, if I’m working on something and they come up to me I’ll pointedly focus on that task instead of them.

Seven ; how do you define a toxic person?

Someone who lies, who makes you feel bad about the things that you do, that puts you done while lifting themselves, who is constantly bragging about their own things, who puts down others, who acts like they’re better, who acts like they’re way of life should be the only way of life.

Eight ; have you ever been to a concert or a fan-meet? if not, would you want to?

I have not, but I would like to one day because they seem fun and it would be nice to see a performance in person.

Nine ; do you believe in astrology? why or why not?

I do, mostly because it’s fun and interesting and I tend to find that I do a lot of the things and act like my zodiac sign without realizing it (aka I’m a Virgo).

Ten ; if you could have only one sense (hearing, touch, sight, etc.), which would you keep?

Hearing.

Eleven ; who is your favorite celebrity or idol?

At the moment, BM from Kard.

Twelve ; if you could talk to your favorite celebrity for a limited time, what would you tell them?

How do you keep going when it gets hard?

Thirteen ; I’m taking you out on a date. where are we going?

Maybe an art museum, or somewhere with flowers?

Fourteen ; do you prefer sweet or savory?

Sweet.

Fifteen ; do you have any Merch from any of your favorite artists?

I have several BTS albums and an EXO album.

I AM Tagging: @mygsii @myforeverforlife @peonybane @hobicomeholla29 @loser-dot-com @jeonsdear @namsjoon @kpopcinnamonswirlroll @eashmo201 @1997jk @soulofatiny @cherryeoo @minniepetals @minniesmarshmallow @yoongi-sugaglider @crystaljins @taestfully @hyyunjins @i-am-delaney @worldwidebt7 @flurrys-creativity @apurpledheart @holyfluffly @yunception @boymeetsweevil @chans-chair @brokecollegenerd @jinyoungsir @writersrealmbts @kpophoneybunny @actuallythatwaspromise @ladyartemesia @haylo4ever @ggukcangetit @kpopfanfictrash @wwilloww @jingabitch @kigurumu @jamaiskook @thatlongspringnight @ot7always-main @hauntedlilies @koophoriia @lorealchanelll @sweetheart--sannie @sweetae-tae @iniquitouspoppy

#tagged #oh my god this was a big and long one #but i done did it #get to know the blogger

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jawnjendes · 4 years

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bonus: why is their luck in a deeply sad moment? | shawn mendes

some type of au idk man, shawn x goth ex gf

WARNING: there is talk of death and suicide in this chapter. read at your own risk.

AN: i cant squeeze this into the next big fic nor can i fit it into shawn meets bc everyone hated it so its a bonus in the gg story lmao also im starying the Next Big Fic in a few days :)

masterlist | annalise’s playlist

2026.

"Sometimes I think about the what ifs," Ann said, “but I like where I am. I like what I’ve made for myself.”

Shawn had to invite her over to his house a second time, because the first time left him with many questions unanswered. He couldn’t be mad at what she said, though. He was in the same boat; he liked the life he made. You know, without the crushing loss and run in with the supernatural.

“Well, I’m happy for you,” he told her, and he really meant it. “I’m glad we were able to successfully do our own things straight after breaking up.”

“Nothing like filling the void in your heart with work!” Ann replied with a giggle. She moved a strand of hair behind her ear, and that’s when Shawn noticed something.

He took her hand and noticed a tattoo on the side of her middle finger: The Triforce.

“You got inked?” he asked, impressed.

“Oh, that’s nothing,” she replied, grabbing her sleeve to roll it up.

There was a sword on her inner arm. It was varying in shades of blue, and it also had the Triforce on it. Shawn recognized it as the Master Sword from the Legend of Zelda games.

“All this is is proof that I’m a nerd,” Ann said as she rolled her sleeve back down. “I notice you have some more ink also… and that you still wear shirts half buttoned.” She pointed to his chest.

Her finger poked the exposed skin. It shouldn’t have been as tingly as it was. Shawn smiled and placed his hand over his chest.

“More than just that,” he told her. “But I can’t show you all of them.”

Maybe it was a little risky to say that. Shawn would have taken it back if Ann’s cheeks hadn’t gone a shade of pink.

“I could say the same thing…”

Shawn quickly came to learn just how many tattoos Ann had gotten over the years. A snake and tombstones on her other arm. Feather on her collarbone, roses on her shoulder. A quote reading, “...but I’m not anymore” with stars around it on her ribcage. Something on her wrist that Shawn didn’t catch because he was busy pressing his lips to her hips and taking off her pants, where he found another tattoo. “Lucky you.” He certainly felt it.

Everything about their time together was so familiar, so easy and almost home-like. Ann’s skin touching his. Her lips perfectly molding over his. The quiet, needy gasps they both released into the bedroom. It was like going back in time, and they were in Shawn’s Toronto apartment instead of his multimillion dollar condo in LA. It was soft and slow, despite Shawn pinning Ann’s arms above her head. He didn’t outgrow that particular move, and she still seemed to like it.

Shawn had never been happier to have been on a break more than now. Most one night stands in the past began and ended very quickly, because he was on tour or in between interviews or on a break for one day. This was one person that he didn’t want to leave behind. They lied down, sweaty and dazed, facing each other. It was silent, but not awkward. Everything had a nice haze around it.

That was also when Shawn finally made out what the tattoo on Ann’s wrist was. He picked his head up in confusion.

“Is… are those torches?” he asked. “Upside down? Just like mine… and are those my initials?”

It was simple line art, less intricate than his own. Torches in an X, with “SM” right below them. Shawn has been floored many times, and this was no exception.

Ann picked her head up as well. “It’s not what it looks like.”

Shawn looked down at his chest, his torches were exactly the same, sans the initials. He wanted to give Ann the benefit of the doubt, that this wasn’t some creepy fangirl thing. Some of his one night stands ended up like that, and it wasn’t exactly easy to forget.

“It’s for a friend of mine,” Ann explained, sitting up and covering her front with the blanket. She took note of the look on Shawn’s face. “Keeping someone’s light on beyond death, remember? I assume yours is for someone too.”

They were both sitting up now, and Shawn relaxed. However, he only relaxed a little bit because now it was time to get deep.

“Mine’s for Brian. He died last year.”

Ann’s face fell. “No. Brian, your best friend? Brian, the one who constantly took the piss outta me?”

He nodded. “He was… there was an accident. Flight of stairs. Instantly killed.” It was all lies, but no human would understand.

A hand went over his, squeezing. “I’m so sorry. He just, he just fell down some stairs?”

“A lot of stairs. I don’t know I guess he was running or something. There was no way to save him. People in the house heard the crash, but by the time they found him - when I found him - it was too late.” He had told this version many times, enough times to where he could almost believe it himself.

“Fuck, man. That’s… that’s fucking terrible,” Ann said sympathetically. “But I seriously can’t believe you just told me that.”

“Why?”

“Because now I have to tell you that mine is for Stella. Those are her initials.”

Stella Martinez. Now Shawn felt a little stupid… but surprised, and he was met with a sinking feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t believe it for a second, but it fully processed in his head, and his heart began to break.

“Stella from college? Stella, who was your literal opposite and also your best friend?”

Ann solemnly nodded. Then she looked down. “She… she killed herself.”

Shawn was stunned into silence, the tightness in his chest only intensifying. The entire time he knew Stella, she was always so positive and bubbly. She was the opposite of suicidal. That’s why it was such a shock… and so sad. Oh god, who was going to tell Camila?

“When did Brian go to the other side?” Ann asked after a moment.

“A year ago last month,” Shawn replied. “And Stella?”

Ann raised an eyebrow. “Two years ago last month...”

It was a strange coincidence, but still upsetting. Both Shawn and Ann lost their best friends at the same time of the year. The urge to spill everything was thick in the air. Still, neither of them said anything for a while.

Instead, Ann reached down to the floor to pick up her clothes. Shawn’s eyes were stuck on her and that was when he spotted another word on her back. Nightmare. Small font, right shoulder blade, surrounded by a cluster of skulls. Then, he realized what she was doing.

“Are you leaving?”

She looked up, bra in hand. She was quiet as she put it back on.

“No. No, I’m not going anywhere.”

And she crawled back into bed. She made the point to keep a distance from Shawn, who was still naked. He was on his side, looking at the woman before him. Only Ann could have sex with him and bring up the subject of death. That brought a new point to mind.

“How do you enjoy death?” he asked. “I think I’ve asked you this before, but after losing someone and attending their funeral, I’m having a hard time understanding your perspective.”

Ann took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. “I don’t enjoy the act of dying. People die every day in horrible ways. People mourn and fall into depression because of death. That’s not something to enjoy.”

“So what’s your deal with it?”

“I’m just embracing the face that it’s inevitable. I do that for myself. I will die eventually, or tomorrow-”

Shawn made a face; he didn’t like that thought.

“It doesn’t make it any easier when someone I know goes,” Ann continued. “You’d think with all the research I’ve done it would be. The ones we love leave this mortal plane, and all they leave is their absence. And that alone is a lot to process.”

“What’s the hardest part?”

“The what if’s.”

Shawn asked because he really wanted to know more about what happened to Stella. He had to know the things that led up to the tragedy, mostly because he knew Camila would ask for details, even if they were hard to hear.

He figured he should spill his side first.

“The last thing I said to Brian was to get the hell out of my room,” he began. “We were fighting, fighting over something so fucking stupid, and I was so pissed at him. That was our last interaction. He fell down the stairs because he was trying to find me in this big huge mansion…”

Ann sat up a little bit, hand over her chest. “Here?”

“Oh no, not here. I was staying at a friend’s house in London for a work thing. Place was huge, easy to get lost in,” Shawn clarified. “Brian, Andrew, all of them were leaving back to Toronto and I didn’t want to go just yet. Part of it was because I was still pissed. Maybe if I had run into him first before he fell… If I hadn’t kicked him out of my room a few nights prior… If I was less of an asshole…”

“Maybe you would have slipped on the stairs,” Ann told him. “Maybe you guys would have had an even bigger argument later that would have ended your friendship. There’s no way to tell, and sometimes that’s what sucks the most.”

Huh. Most people tell him not to dwell on it. No wonder Ann was a shrink now.

“Losing someone is one of the hardest things we, as humans, have to face,” she said. “It’s not easy in the slightest. Besides, the grieving period takes about three to five years, so you - we - are still in the beginning stages of it. Thinking about the what ifs, what you want to change, what you wish you could say to Brian - all of that is normal.”

The two of them let those words settle for a moment. Shawn’s eyes were a little misty, and redirecting the topic was probably not going to help. But he laid his stuff out on the table.

“What about you?” he asked.

“Me?”

“Your what ifs?”

Ann paused, looking around the room. “What if I had put my Master’s to use and noticed the goddamn signs?”

Shawn watched her, hoping she would at least return the eye contact.

“I’m an expert in this shit,” she said. “I have the years of school, the degrees, and the licenses for detecting things like this. I only figured it out the moment her dad called me.”

“How do you detect when someone is suicidal?”

“In her case, she was elated. When someone makes that decision, they reach a state of euphoria because they know their pain is about to end.”

“But Stella was always-”

“Believe me, I know. I hadn’t talked to her since graduating in Toronto, so I thought she hadn’t changed at all. But I would see on her social media, she just moved back to her parents’ house in Florida, and she hinted that she wasn’t happy about it.”

As if Shawn couldn’t take another blow. Come to think of it, he never heard much about Stella’s home life. He didn’t even think that it could be a negative place for her.

“I was in Jacksonville for work,” Ann continued, “so I hit her up, and we met up for lunch. We talked for about an hour, and she said that I was always a good friend and college wife and that she’ll always love me. And my stone hearted ass just said ‘cool, you don’t suck’ and that was that. A month later, she’s as blue as the pills she took.”

“Ooo…” Shawn sighed, cringing at that mental image. Sweet, warm hearted Stella cold and lifeless. Call it morbid, awful thinking, but Shawn wished Brian looked like that in death instead of the bloody mess he turned out to be.

“Yeah. And her parents had her embalmed and put in an airtight casket, but that’s a whole other rant.” Ann waved it off and lied back down.

Shawn didn’t know what else to do except lie down as well. While sharing the stories of how their friends died, he couldn’t help but feel just a little bit closer to Ann. The first time they met, it took fighting tooth and nail to get her to open up. Now, Shawn felt okay silently reached for her hand, and tenderly holding it in his.

Both of them winded up at the same awards show. Both lost their best friends. Both got the same type of tattoo to honor them. Neither of them anticipated meeting again. This couldn’t be a coincidence.

_______

goth gf taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @someoneunimportantxx @goldenmndes @calyumthomas @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @parkeraul @havethetimeeofyourlifee @chillingbythesea @wronglanemendes @softmendesss @peruvian-bae @theprivatewritings

#shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes smut #shawn x oc #shawn x goth gf #if yall r pissedt abt brian #it had already been establishedt #i made my bed imma fukin lie in it

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

Text

Justice League Annual #1 (1987)

Martian Manhunter has five thousand different super powers compared with the one super power of the rest of the team (Black Canary's sonic scream. The other "super powers" are just technological accessory based).

If this comic book isn't about Martian Manhunter's addiction to Oreo cookies then what am I even doing with my life? The only reason I love Martian Manhunter is that he loves Oreo cookies and I view him as the father I never had. Whenever I had a problem growing up, I would think, "What advice would Martian Manhunter give me?" And that's why I was so fat in Junior High School because the answer was always "Eat more Oreos." I know Martian Manhunter's eventual addiction is to "Choco's" but fuck Choco's. Fuck them like every other off-brand Oreo cookie. They fucking suck. Speaking of things that suck, this dick isn't going to suck itself. Now picture me pointing at the comic book because I need to read it. That's how I begin reading all of my comic books. And I say it loudly so the neighbors will think, "Oh boy! That guy next door isn't a nerd at all! Total sex maniac!" The "Hunting the Manhunter" blurb on this cover reminds me that Millennium is coming up and I think I hated that? No, no. I'm sure I loved it! There are two things I couldn't get enough of in my teen years and comic books was the second one of them. Kord Industries has bought some property in the middle of Ultra-Nowhere, South America, and some of its employees have gone off to scout the location.

Wasn't that the episode with the shape-changing hottie who loves sucking the salt out of men? You know what I'm talking about. Also she was probably a male monster posing as a female monster. Proof of that theory is that every single episode of the first season of the original Star Trek could also have been the name of a gay bar.

Inside the abandoned research facility, the Kord employees encounter pretty much the same thing Kirk, Spock, and the other one encountered:

Vampire John Travolta! It's possible I'm misremembering the Star Trek episode.

While on monitor duty, Guy Gardner discovers that large groups of people on four different continents seem to be under the control of a single will and Batman asks Martian Manhunter, "Do you think this is League business?" What the fuck else would be, Bat-Turd?! A new Internet fad like planking or the Harlem Shuffle? I mean, it totally could be that except that the Internet doesn't really exist during this story. I mean if you want to be a pedant about it, I suppose the teenage Internet across college campuses. But nobody likes a pedant so just shut the fuck up and live in my reality while you're reading my stupid comic book review. Just take the fucking Red Pill and relax! Except don't do that because the idea of The Matrix Red Pill has been co-opted by the worst of humanity who think they're somehow the most logical and philosophical people on the planet when they're really just awful monsters rationalizing all of their mean desires.

How did people come away from reading this comic book hating Guy Gardner and not also despising Batman?

The Justice League splits up into teams of two to cover the mass hypnosis issues in Paris, Tokyo, Sydney, and Los Angeles. I'm not sure Batman knows how to balance teams because he sends Doctor Fate and Martian Manhunter together while leaving Mister Miracle with Blue Beetle. Here are my teams: Guy Gardner with Blue Beetle because Blue Beetle is effectively worthless and Guy Gardner has the most powerful weapon in the universe. Batman would go with Black Canary because her sonic scream is sort of like a bat's echo location. Martian Manhunter would go with Scott Free because they're both aliens. And Booster Gold would team up with Doctor Fate because their outfits match. Blue Beetle and Mister Miracle head to L.A. with some, um, problematic dialogue? I think?

This is an "anal sex/everybody in Hollywood is gay" joke, right?

With newer comic books, a scan of 620 pixels (basically the width of the main column of the blog (although I think the width changed when I added the Goodreads app. I should probably fix it so the 620 pixel pictures stop bleeding off into the right-hand frame (if you're reading this on Tumblr, just ignore it. Just ignore everything since Tumblr fucked up their code and now I can't even center pictures or get the captions to sit snugly right up underneath the scans))) was usually enough to read the dialogue clearly. But with these old comics on newsprint, they're fuzzier and the font seems much smaller. Sorry about that but I won't betray my artistic integrity by scanning less than the full panel! At least not in this case is my defense against the pedants who can easily find many examples of me doing exactly that. First Black Canary is treated like shit by Batman and now she teams up with Booster Gold who can't stop hitting on her until she reminds him she's a competent limb-breaker. This must be the kind of comics Comicsgaters wish we could return to! "Remember when women were treated as sexual objects and not one member of the Justice League was Black and constantly said, 'Booyah!'? What great times!" Black Canary and Booster Gold become John Travolta Vampire slaves almost immediately because Batman chose the improper team pairings. It's bad enough that Batman would fail at making proper pairings but it's extra bad when Batman is being written by a writer and the writer made that choice. I mean, how do you pass up the opportunity to team Booster Gold with Doctor Fate?! They would look so fucking good together! Batman and Guy Gardner (you know how you can tell Hal Jordan is the real Green Lantern? Because people will say "Green Lantern" when discussing him instead of "Hal Jordan") wind up in Tokyo where Doctor Light is all, "Hello, boys! I'm a vampire now!" Then she blinds the fuck out of them because Batman forgot to put on his Bat-sunglasses.

Batman steals this move from Doctor Light in the next regular issue.

Doctor Light kisses Batman and he's all, "Yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. I get it. Being a vampire is pretty awesome. No wonder writers write vampire versions of me every other year or so."

I don't think the editors briefed Willingham on what Beetle's Bug can and can't do.

Beetle lands at Kord West and is immediately swamped by John Travolta Vampire's thralls. So he does the thing he does in nearly every comic book except the one where Maxwell Lord shoots him in the head: he runs away. But he doesn't run fast enough and winds up possessed aboard the Bug with Mister Miracle. The story hints that Miracle gets possessed just after the scene changes but he's Scott Free, the world's greatest escape artist! I would guess he'd be the one to save everybody else but judging from the cover, it's Martian Manhunter who keeps from getting possessed. In Australia, Doctor Fate wades into a group of infected people because he's a gigantic arrogant prick. He's all, "I'm a frickin' Lord of Order, assholes! I know a spell that can get to the root of this problem!" And then the Vampire John Travolta is all, "I'll kill Kent Nelson if you don't leave his body." And Doctor Fate is all, "Well, J'onn, I've gotta go! Nice hanging out with you! Ta ta!" Which leaves Martian Manhunter as the only person left on Earth who isn't infected (or at least the only person left who is in this story). I bet that's pretty lonely. But Martian Manhunter is used to being lonely. I wonder if he's capable of making his right hand into a female martian so he can fuck it? Martian Manhunter has no idea what he's dealing with so he puts on Doctor Fate's helmet to gain all of the other powers that he didn't already have without it. But only for a few seconds because Superman would never be able to get an erection again if he found out Martian Manhunter had all of his powers and could also do magic. J'onn wears the helmet just long enough to learn what Doctor Fate learned about the contagion: it's a sentient cell! It's smart cancer! And I guess Vampire John Travolta was Patient Zero. Now J'onn just has to figure out how to fight Smart Cancer. I don't even know how he'll defeat it because I just looked up Smart Cancer in the Who's Who to read about its weaknesses and wouldn't you know it? There's no entry for Smart Cancer! Maybe it was in an update that I don't own. Like that version of Who's Who that was just loose pages to stick in a binder! I have that one too but it's possible I just didn't buy all of the expansion packs. Martian Manhunter heads to the source of the contagion to meet Smart Cancer head on. What he finds is a boss from Castlevania.

When you have thousands of people at your disposal, is the most effective way to use them shoving them together into one giant person?

The first thing Smart Cancer's Granfaloon does is try to smash J'onn with its people fist. In effect, it's smashing a dozen people head first into the ground so that dirt sprays up all over the place. So I guess a dozen or so people are now dead, right? It's not like Smart Cancer gave them invulnerability to massive head wounds.

I think this panel is the one where all the Justice League editors through their hands up in resignation and sighed, "I guess the Justice League is ridiculous now."

Martian Manhunter realizes, like me, how fucking stupid Smart Cancer is to put all of its people in one gigantic people-shaped basket. Since all the minds are linked, he realizes he can throw the Fate helmet on one of the people and Doctor Fate can possess Smart Cancer. It works but only for a limited amount of time. Doctor Fate can't hold that many people under his sway. But Doctor Fate does know who can control Smart Cancer: the martian! He can shapeshift his cells into some kind of prison or something. I don't know. It was explained in the most basic medical and scientific terms but they were still beyond my attention span. In the end, Martian Manhunter contained the Smart Cancer in him and that's where it lives now? Oh, and speaking of "the end," check out this clever and titillating final panel:

"Why's it gotta be the ass of the only woman on the team?" I say while pulling my pants down.

Justice League Annual #1 Rating: What?! I don't rate annuals! I mean, maybe sometimes I rate annuals. This one was okay. It was sort of interesting but I was disappointed that Vampire John Travolta wasn't the actual enemy. I hope Smart Cancer fights its way out of J'onn and makes another appearance later.

#Justice League #DC Comics #DC #Keith Giffen #J.M. DeMatteis #Bill Willingham

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sirkkasnow · 5 years

Text

15 Everybody’s Got A Secret

Ao3 link

7/28/13 Sunday

The dirt roads were rough, a little worse in the dark maybe, but the route was familiar as the back of his hand and the rattle-and-creak of the springs was just background information. He knew exactly how much abuse the suspension could take.

Clary, on the other hand, looked a little grim. Both hands gripped white-knuckled onto her shoulder belt.

"You good over there?"

"Swell."

"We'll be fine - you'll love it once we get there. Hang on, there's a bump - "

It was a hell of a bump, actually, and Stan flung a shielding arm out on reflex as she squealed in momentary panic, bouncing back down with a shaky laugh. "Holy hell, Stan! You always rattle your dates this hard?"

"Only the ones I really like. Hang in there, kid, I promise this is worth the hassle."

"You sure about that?'

"C'mon. Trust me." He spared a sidelong glance. Her eyes were wide in the faint light of the cabin, but she settled back warily into her seat.

"You've gotten us out in one piece before. I’m willing to gamble that you can do it again."

The handful of cockeyed reflectors that marked the edge of the bluff came up a little faster than he anticipated and he hit the brakes harder than maybe he should’ve, but Stan was able to lock it down a good eight feet back without any trouble. He heard Clary suck in a hissing breath and let it go slow.

The car went quiet as he flipped back the key. He left the dash lights and headlamps alone for the moment, watching from the corner of one eye as she wound down her window, popped the buckle and leaned forward to brace elbows on the dashboard.

By now they were past twilight into night. The car perched on a rocky ledge well above town. Twisted, scrubby pine clung to fissures in the stone, stunted enough not to block the view.

Stan rarely paid attention to what anything around here looked like, but at this time of year he admitted it was pretty impressive. Gravity Falls rolled out below like a sprawling tangle of Christmas lights. Pale gold and white sparked with occasional blue or red laced into the silhouettes of trees, all the surrounding forest faded down to velvet black in the dark.

Bare traces of midnight blue still clung to the western sky, but summer stars popped out clear and sharp in the vault overhead. Clary twisted, pillowing her cheek on a forearm and peering up through the windshield for a better view. “Nice. I never get to see this many stars back in Baltimore.” Her attention swung over to him and Stan busied himself with escaping his seat belt. “Where are we anyway?”

“There’re a couple little perches up here. This’s the one that’s hard to get at. The easy one is over there - “ He clicked on the highbeams, which reached out far enough to illuminate beaten dirt and a more substantial fence across a narrow ravine. “That is Lookout Point.“ She was beginning to chuckle under her breath and he ignored it. “Which is usually infested with teenagers, which is why we’re over here. Best place to get a look at everything before it disappears in your rear-view mirror, right?”

“So we’re overlooking both town and the local makeout spot.” Her grin flashed in the half-light as she pushed back and made herself comfortable in the far corner of her seat. “I can’t believe how small it all looks from up here. Like your local tourist map but more accurate.”

“It’s not much, I know.” Stan snapped off the rest of the lights and the car went pitch dark. His eyes gradually adapted to starlight as the cooling engine pinged harmony to scattered cricket-song.

“You never did get around to telling me what kept you in Gravity Falls for three decades. There’s the business, sure, but it’s hard to picture you being contented out here for that long.”

“I’m not sure the business woulda worked anywhere else. Scratch that, I know it wouldn’t’ve.” Stan wished like hell that he’d thought to bring a cigar; it’d help keep his hands busy. He settled for resting his cheek against a palm, elbow braced against the window ledge, and tapping restless rhythm with the fingertips she couldn’t see.

“Was it Ford’s thing? The research he came out here to do? I’ve only managed to get bits and pieces out of him about it.” Clary toed off her sandals and tucked feet up onto the seat, glittering dimly across what felt like about a mile and a half of empty leather.

He squinted over at her outline. “What, you asked straight up?”

“He got this wistful look and told me to ask you.”

Stan sighed. “Typical. Kickin’ the hard stuff back to me.” She chuckled and he tipped his head back, staring up at the seams in the roof lining. “Look, considerin’ all the insane crap you’ve seen since you got here, you will not be surprised to hear that there used t’be an interdimensional portal in the basement.”

“What?”

“Maybe a little surprised. So yeah, he came out here for the local weirdness right after college. Me, I, ah.”

Stan closed his eyes, reminded himself that the need to keep secrets was pretty much over and done with, and spilled. “Long, and I mean long story short, Ford an’ I had a fallin’ out when we were on the tail end of high school. I got kicked out, barely talked to him or my parents for ten years, traveled the country tryin’ to make something work, got banned from a couple dozen states…”

Clary was tight-focused on him now, not the sparkling view, and he shifted restlessly under the weight of her shock. “Ford sent a postcard out of the blue one winter, ‘please come’, that was it, so I did. Hadn’t been banned from Oregon at least. I had no idea how bad it’d gotten for him.”

He had to pause, picking his way through the words. Years of practice kept his voice even. “I thought we were gonna work things out. He thought he was gonna tell me to get lost. Things like they were...words got said, punches got thrown...I accidentally pushed Ford through the portal to fend for himself an’ hop through dimensions for the next thirty years.”

It wasn’t like he hadn’t told bits of this story before in various ways, but it was always over a drink and with tongue firmly in cheek, impressing the hell out of some hapless dockside bar with every outrageous embellishment. This was a bare recitation of fact.

She looked stricken, from what he could make out. One hand pressed hard to her lips and he could about hear her thoughts spinning from where he sat. “Wow.”

“Ha. You’re tellin’ me.”

“You took over his identity so you could take over the house.” Clary’s muffled murmur was almost inaudible.

He must have twitched in surprise, because he caught the flicker of her rueful smile as she shifted over to the midline of the bench seat. “I do talk to people who aren’t you, Stan. It’s amazing what you can pick up behind the counter at Greasy’s. Thought it was odd that I heard plenty of stories about Mr. Mystery, but not Doctor Mystery until whatever weirdness went down last summer.”

Stan huffed out half a laugh. “Nosy much?”

“It’s been a month and I find you fascinating.” He cleared his throat and she poked him with a fingertip. “So you stayed. You stayed to make sure he got back.”

At the blurred edge of his vision he could make her out, leaning against the seat back. “I had nowhere else to go, and like hell was I gonna leave until he was safe, so yeah. Moved into the house, started up the Shack, found a way to pay the mortgage.”

“In spades, apparently.”

“I did all right. That all went into the Ford recovery fund, mind you.”

“Stan Pines, selfless. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Sweetheart, you have no idea how wrong you are.”

Clary chuckled at that and he turned a little to meet the knowing gleam of her regard. “Here I thought you guys had it all figured out.”

“We do now, I guess, but that was a bumpy road and it didn’t come cheap.”

“You’re lucky.”

The faint wistful note in her tone tugged at his attention and he cocked a brow. She slouched, hands intertwined, looking out through the windshield at who knew what. “Not that I need to tell you that. I was in a hell of a state when I got here, and it’s been...nice...to have such good company. Sleeping in a house full of people instead of in another motel room, you and Ford, the kids and Soos and Melody...in spite of all the chaos, this trip would have been so much more bleak without the detour. Thanks for that.”

“Thanks for trashing the car, y’mean?” The sparkly fabric had slipped down enough to bare both her shoulders. Fragile starlight picked out the delicate lines of her collarbones. Dishevelment suited her, he decided.

“I promise to thank your brother for trashing my car before I go.”

Stan casually laid his arm along the seat back and Clary casually nestled into its arc, wriggling a little closer. “I don’t know why. You’re movin’ to Zurich for that fancy job, places to go, people to see, sounds to me like you’re doin’ all right.”

“There are things to look forward to. Doesn’t mean it isn’t lonely going at times.”

“You’ve got family there, right? Your sister and her kids and the grandies?”

She let that hang unanswered for a long moment, lashes lowered, and he found himself stroking her upper arm with his thumb to share a little comfort or stability or something. “It’s possible to live on the same planet and still be a million miles away.” With a subtle shift she pressed her cheek into him. “There’s been so much to deal with and I’ve had to be the tough one for the last couple years. I don’t know how the hell you kept it up.”

“I don’t suppose there’s anythin’ I can punch for ya.”

That won him a dry chuckle. “If only it were that simple.”

Stan dipped his head and pitched his rumble low in the general vicinity of her ear. “All right, then, how about we cross paths again somewhere down the line an’ buck each other up? We’re still on for that date, yeah?”

Clary quivered for a split second - still got it, yup - then rocked back a bit and lifted shrewd, cool eyes to his. “Answer me one question.”

“Shoot.”

“What the hell were you thinking?”

Dammit. Stan knew precisely what she meant. “We made a ton of money, y’know. Gonna cover all your expenses and then some, just you wait.” He waggled brows at her.

“Bullshit.”

“Needed to stress-test Soos and Melody’s crowd management skills while I was around to offer sage advice?”

“Nope.” Her expression was smooth as glass, that faint smile sketched along her lips, shallow lines at the corners of her eyes betraying careful amusement.

“Uh, wild coincidence that I walked into Greasy’s right when everyone was lookin’ to blow their summer cash on somethin’ spectacular?” That actually wasn’t too far off from the truth but she was already shaking her head.

“Nice try.” The smile softened into something a little more hesitant. “You don’t have to take any of this more seriously than you want to, Stan.”

He stared at her in momentary shock - had she misread him that badly? - then felt her fingers twining into his and had to turn away to look out the window for a second, the muddle of his intentions and all the calculated risk crystallizing so sharply in his head that it halfway hurt.

Stan muttered into his knuckles. “Iwantedtoshowyouoff.”

Clary’s clasp twitched in his. “Say that again.”

“I wanted to show you off!” He rubbed at his eyes, gritting teeth in frustration. “I mean – dammit, Clary, I got about everythin’ I ever wanted last summer, everythin’ I dumped thirty years of my life into settin’ right and then some, an’ that oughta be enough.” Stan let the glasses drop back down, searching her shadowed expression. “It’s not. You’ve gotta understand that I am one greedy asshole, always have been. I am selfish enough to want more than that.”

He hadn’t even noticed the tension winding tight in her frame, but he sure as hell noticed the twang of its release. The professional mask cracked clean through. There was nothing but blunt determination left in the line of her jaw and the sharp light of her eyes.

“Good.” Clary hooked two fingers into his neckchain and dragged him in; he followed all too willingly.

It was a wreck of a kiss at first. They shifted and huffed, incredulous half-formed giggles hitching in her throat as his glasses jabbed her cheek. His schnoz and her beak were both substantial enough to pose a bit of a challenge.

At last she swayed into the arch of his encircling arm. Stan chased after, finally finding the right angle to lock lips, his tongue grazing hers and dipping further. The faint mmh that caught in her chest sent a shiver of electricity right down to his fingertips.

He’d half forgotten what a pain in the ass it was to get tangled up in the car - it’d been a while - and the little noises she made took on a frustrated note. At last she pulled away enough to give him a direct, wry look, snagged his collar with quick fingers and drew him down.

Stan braced an elbow so he wouldn’t crush her, went for the slope of her neck and tugged impatiently at the scarf with his teeth. Clary freed a hand and fumbled the knot loose, then the fabric, sheer silk slithering into some dark corner and already forgotten as he trailed kisses up the line of her throat. His lips sealed over the frantic flutter of her pulse and the sharp ah that resulted dragged a growl out of him.

Things went blurry after that. A few bits got cast off here and there, her hair clips landing somewhere in the back seat, his medallion under the brake pedal after it whacked her in the chin. Reproachful teeth nipped at the edge of his ear when his chilly hand settled at her waist to stroke a long arc up her side, and he kissed apology along the line of her collarbone until he felt her shudder and freeze.

Stan made himself stop, dragging his head up with an effort from the bare slope of her shoulder, and, oh.

Well, shit.

His palm was trapped flat against her back, fingers under the bra band. Seemed he still remembered how to unclip these slippery bastards one-handed, because he’d just popped the first hook.

Before he could pull away and apologize, Clary’s fingers twisted into his rumpled hair at the nape and tugged – gentle, but commanding – and he met her eye to hazy eye. To his profound relief that wasn’t anger but a bright spark of glee and rather a lot of real interest. “Did you mean to do that?”

Stan felt himself go scarlet to the ears and thanked his stars that she couldn’t see it in the near dark. “Yes and no?”

A startled, pleased laugh rang in the space between them. He watched her think things over, taking a moment to do the same, and – she deserved better than the front seat of the El Diablo, but what could you do – he was absolutely here for this, which didn’t stop a choked groan from constricting his throat when she arched deliberately under him and canted hips up to press just so.

“Mm.” Fuck, she looked smug and he would’ve called her on it if he weren’t so distracted by her nimble hands between them, popping shirt buttons and sliding in under the slick fabric to stroke his chest. “Carpe diem.”

He’d hung out around Ford long enough to know what that meant.

The tone shifted from playful to purposeful in a blink. Stan’s supporting arm slipped around her, fingers threading deep into tangled waves as he sought her open mouth. Clary's flexed knee settled against his hip as he deftly undid hooks two and three -

...right about in time for the blare of a car horn, someone else’s car horn, to shatter the night.

Stan’s head hit the roof as he jerked upright. Clary recoiled so sharply she slid off the seat, curling in tight like a startled barnacle and compressing into the passenger footwell. Through the haze he could make out headlights across the way at Lookout Point.

“Son of a - ”

“SORRY, MR. PINES!”

God fucking dammit he knew that voice.

Pure adrenaline lent him speed he’d pay for later. Stan booted the door open so hard it tried to bounce back and sprang outside, bellowing like a wounded walrus. “I’M GONNA KILL YOU, ROBBIE!”

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, WE SWEAR!”

Stan leaned back into the cabin to flick the headlights on, highbeams still active. Robbie - that greasy kid who’d given Wendy so much trouble, of course he’d turn up like a bad penny at the worst possible moment - flinched behind the wheel and flung up an arm to protect his eyes. His girlfriend, the one with the purple hair and the chronic social media habit, was trying to hide behind her phone.

He clung to the door for balance. None of his blood was where he wanted it to be right this second but he was thinking just clearly enough to be livid. “I DON’T REMEMBER YOUR LAST NAME RIGHT NOW, ROBBIE, BUT YOU BETTER PRAY I NEVER FIND OUT!”

“W - WE WERE JUST LEAVING!” The kid was struggling to get his beater in gear. Stan could hear the pained grind-and-clunk of the transmission from here. “WE DIDN’T SEE YOUR CAR WHEN - ”

“YOU’RE DEAD, YOU HEAR ME, KID? DEAD!”

Robbie’s car lurched and screeched and peeled out way too fast for what he knew was a pretty rough road. Stan collapsed heavily onto the driver’s seat, both hands to his face as he tried to collect himself. As the roar subsided in his ears he registered faint noise behind him and pivoted, suddenly frantic. “Clary. You okay, baby?” If she was crying he really would have to kill the kid.

She was sobbing, all right, but with strangled giggling so profound that she couldn’t get enough air to do more than squeak. Stan deflated a little as she gasped and wiped her eyes and wheezed. At last she was composed enough to throw her head back and bray with uncontrollable laughter for a good minute.

“Yeah, very funny…”

“Oh my god,” she rasped. Clary groped around in the footwell until she came up with his chain and its medallion, then levered herself up onto the seat with a creak of springs. “That poor kid’s probably not going to stop until he’s in the next county.”

“Can’t even get a little privacy on a cliff in this town.”

“My hero. That was magnificent.” Stan rolled his eyes but held still as she clipped the chain back into place, hands light at his neck, and straightened his collar.

“Magnificent enough t’ pick up where we left off?” He knew better, but couldn’t resist the broad smirk. The interruption had blown a hole in the mood.

She smirked right back. “Moment’s passed, darling. Another time.” Clary curled forward and did that liquid thing women could do with arms twisting behind to refasten the bra’s hooks. Stan watched, openly appreciative, as she tweaked the spangled top more or less back into place. “We should head back and check in with the camping crew anyway, make sure nothing’s eaten them since dark.”

“Ha. Yeah, they’ll be fine, you have no idea what a mother hen Ford can be and that magnet gun’s not the only trick up his sleeve. I gotta ask, though.” He drew the back of one knuckle down the side of her pale, pretty neck, and smiled to feel her shiver.

“Go on…”

“You never answered. We still on for that date?”

She slung him an arch look. “What do you call a thousand lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?”

Stan snorted. “That’s the cheapest lawyer joke of all time.”

“Lowest common denominator, yep. Now answer me.”

“A good start.”

“Smart man.” Clary leaned in, laying a delicate, deliberate kiss upon his lips like he was something rare and precious. Stan melted a bit in his seat. Both her touch and her lowered eyes lingered as she redid a few of his buttons, then slid back across the cabin to buckle in. “We’re on. I hope it doesn’t take us until next year, though.”

“What, not gonna cuddle up on the way home?” He fired up the car, the reliable old engine rumbling smoothly to life, and put it in reverse.

“Get this land yacht back on asphalt and drive like a half-blind old man, then yes.”

“I always drive like a half-blind old man.”

“I am not reassured.”

It was an easier drive back out. He actually took pains to dodge the worst bumps this time. Once they were on the county road Clary popped the seat belt and slipped beneath the curve of his welcoming arm. The radio crackled protest as she fiddled with the dial. Pickings were slim late on a Sunday night, and she finally settled for 80s schmaltz. Stan groaned, more for show than anything, and she elbowed him in the ribs. “You’ll live.”

“I may regret it, but I’ll live.”

The moon’s waning quarter still hadn’t made it up by the time they hit the Shack’s long drive, meaning it was a bit before midnight at least. The El Diablo glided easily into its slot alongside the Fairlane. “So if you’re not too tuckered out after all that, I maybe got one last little thing for dessert. You game?”

“I’m game. Need to get my hair back under control, though.” Clary squeezed his hand, tugged on her sandals and hopped out the passenger side, leaning into the back seat to retrieve his jacket and her hair clips. “See you in the kitchen in a bit?”

Even tangled and stiff with hairspray, he liked the tumble of waves falling around her features. “It’s nice down!”

She pulled a face at him. “I’m going to run a brush through this mop and grab something a little warmer to wear. See you in a couple minutes.”

They parted ways at the door, Stan upstairs, Clary down her hallway. The house’s unaccustomed quiet was downright strange after last week’s chaos, but familiar. He was humming some awful 80s power ballad under his breath by the time he got Dipper’s laptop and Ford’s antenna rig set up on the kitchen table. The uplink program was bright with alerts, message lines cluttered with incoming texts and photos - apparently the nerd brigade had found exactly what they were looking for.

“Man, we are late,” he muttered, and punched the couple of buttons that would let him page through to Ford.

The uplink connection crackled to life almost instantly. “Stanley, you are late! Where have you been?!”

“Havin’ a nice night out, Sixer. See you’re not dead yet, that’s good, find anythin’ memorable without me?”

Ford did something on his end to get the rest of the crew on speaker. By the time Clary showed up with her hair brushed back and a well-worn zip hoodie over a t-shirt, both Dipper and Ford were talking a mile a minute and Stan was struggling to keep up with the pictures and videos they kept referring to.

“Hey gang!”

“Hey, Clary!” A good fifteen minutes of excited chatter followed. Stan had some trouble tracking once she sat down across the table, drawing idle fingertip circles around the rim of her water glass and smiling right at him.

Mabel insisted on the last word, as usual, shooing Ford and Dipper off to bank the campfire. Her voice came through pitched low. “So did you guys have a nice evening? Because Tambry’s online update feed sure suggests you did….”

“Uh, what now? How have you even got internet out there?” Stan glanced across the table in confusion. Clary blinked back, but was already skimming through something on her phone. After a few moments she choked faintly and turned the screen so he could see a post title: Most Terrifying Moment Of My Short Life.

The video was dark and blurry, thank mercy for small favors, but Stan’s furious roar came through clear as a bell. He laid a hand over his eyes as Clary began to chuckle.

“What were you doing out at Lookout Point, hmmm?”

“Stargazing,” Clary replied, utterly deadpan.

“Suuuuuuuure you were. Are you two a thing yet?”

Clary quirked a brow at him and shook her head minutely. Stan considered. “Yanno, pumpkin, we’re still figurin’ it out. I mean, we made our apologies, we’re friends an’ all that, so I’m sure we’ll hear from her again somewhere down the line.” He reached across the table to hook an index finger into hers.

Mabel’s muffled wail of protest rose on the tiny speaker. “You’ve gotta be kidding! I manage to get you a full day alone and you still can’t make up your minds? You’re perfect for each other and you’re both too old to goof around!”

“I don’t know what to say, honey, we’re both very careful people.” Clary’s clasp tightened in warning as Stan ducked his head and swallowed shocked laughter. “We’re probably going to watch a movie or something before we get to bed. All of you be careful, got it? I expect to see you for dinner tomorrow.”

“Are you sure we shouldn’t get back earlier? I’ve got a multimedia presentation on Grunkle Stan’s most amazing feats ready to go! I know he’s a little rough around the edges but personal hygiene isn’t everything - “

Stan spluttered indignantly. Clary bit her lip and winked. “I already know he’s amazing, Mabel. Let us enjoy the rest of our evening and we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Yup, great job, sweetheart, be careful out there an’ don’t give Ford too much trouble. Whoops, connection’s waverin’, gotta scram, seeya soon.” The speaker squawked with a rising woooOOOOoooo of interference as Stan grabbed the antenna’s tip and swirled it around. He stabbed a couple buttons to kill the call. “Welp. Guess we know where she stands.”

“I feel a little mean, but could we maybe enjoy being a thing for more than an hour without it being public knowledge?”

“Are we a thing?” Stan squeezed her hand and rose, dragging the stepstool out from its usual corner.

“You think you’re getting rid of me after all that? I already know precisely how much of an asshole you are. That kind of info is gold.” She watched him clamber up onto one of the countertops, sitting back with arms loosely folded. “You all right up there?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine, this’ll just take a minute.” He reached way up over the shelves, ran his fingers lightly along the right plank, jabbed a thumb into a knot in the old wood and pulled when he heard the latch pop. “Ford put all kinds of weird hideyholes into this place. Found ‘em all, at least I think.”

Stan stretched and twisted and grunted, ignoring Clary’s quiet chuckles from the kitchen table, and finally fished the bottle he wanted out of the back of the hidden cabinet. She stood by as he cautiously stepped off the counter and picked his way down the stepstool. “Here, check this out.”

“That is an awfully convoluted way to store your booze.”

The squat, long-necked bottle he’d picked out dropped into her grip with a faint slosh. “I’ve got two inquisitive-as-hell teenagers in the house, an’ Mabel is gettin’ pretty good at pickin’ locks. Most of this was here before I was, anyway.”

Clary ran her thumb over the dusty label and her brows popped up. “1976. Bicentennial cognac, no less. What the hell was Ford doing with stuff like this?”

“Heck if I know. I think he got a bunch of junk as gifts when he finished off some of those degrees - found an entire drawer full of handkerchiefs, fancy pens, congratulations cards, that kinda crap. There’re a couple more bottles wedged back there, never really took a close look.” He shuffled across the kitchen to pick through the glassware. “So, up for a nightcap? Do some actual stargazin’?”

Amber liquor gleamed against her palms as she tilted the bottle carefully to catch the light. “This is a decent label. Probably worth something just for the year.”

“Great. Then it’s worth bustin’ open for a celebration.”

Clary cracked him a half-delirious grin, like a teenager about to get into serious trouble. “Drinking this out of juice glasses would be an absolute crime. Let’s do it.”

They ended up on the porch, sitting on the top step for a better view of the sky. Stan fired up the cigar he’d retrieved from upstairs while Clary popped the bottle seal and tipped a bare thimbleful of aromatic liquor into each little glass. They clicked the enameled oranges together and sipped. To Stan it was pretty much just vaguely fruity booze, but she hummed in quiet approval. “Not bad, for a one-horse town.”

“Nothin’ but the best at the Mystery Shack.”

“I feel like I should argue that point, but I really can’t.”

The conversation meandered at intervals between comfortable silences. Eventually he tugged out his much-abused, overstuffed wallet and let her thumb through his photos. She chuckled under her breath as he explained some of the background. Really, that picture of Waddles duct-taped to Gompers didn’t make much sense no matter what kind of spin he put on it.

“Pretty recent stuff.”

“There wasn’t much worth keepin’ track of until last year, not gonna lie, though there’re a million pictures of Mr. Mystery with tourists out there somewhere...nice little side racket.”

“Do you keep money in this wallet from time to time?”

“Nah, I sew hidden pockets into everything for that.” He slipped his arm around her as she snorted in undignified laughter. “C’mon, show me your zoo.”

Clary’s pictures were all digital. She swiped through them, pictures of crooked cobblestone alleys and green flower-starred hillsides, pictures of her pretty dark-blonde niece and two gorgeous little girls, one about ten, one barely more than a toddler.

“My niece is Callista. That’s Nathalie, and the baby is Irene. This’s Phil…” The nephew was a handsome, square-jawed young man with a model-quality smile and a tendency to make funny faces in the background of the family shots. “The family athlete. He runs, he swims, he does that insane Swiss thing where you take the train up into the mountains, strap on your skis and hop out when you’re where you want to be…”

Stan let her ramble and watched her hands. He poured another tiny splash of brandy into her glass when she lifted it up to him. “These’re recent, too?”

“This spring.” One of her fingertips tapped uncertain rhythm against the phone’s corner.

The silence drew out for a while - not uncomfortable, just resigned, maybe - and at length he asked the obvious question. “Got any of your sister?”

She didn’t go stiff, exactly, though there was a subtle exhale. “It didn’t end as well for us as it did for you.”

He felt his heart sink a little for her sake. “Don’t have t’tell me anythin’.”

There was a chuckle, soft and dry as a fallen leaf. “We’re in need-to-know territory now, I’m afraid. It’s easier to show than to tell.” Her swift fingertips flicked across the screen of her phone, pulling up a folder, and within that a long series of dated photos. “This is Charlotte. Charlie.”

Clary’s sister was at least twelve or fifteen years older, blonder, beautiful in a blue-eyed way with a killer smile. A couple of the earliest snapshots could have been plucked from among the seniors in the high school yearbook he hadn’t been around to collect. The bubble cut gave way to a long flip, then went feathered in a familiar image: three blondes in sunhats, lined up oldest to youngest like nesting dolls.

The faces shifted by degrees as she skimmed through. Charlie’s hairstyles went on changing over the years; Callista and Phil started out tiny and grew older; Clary herself was only an occasional presence with her hair drawn back into its familiar knot and variations on her ever-present kerchief.

The shot she paused on was a portrait against a bright blue sky. Clary’s arm draped protectively around Charlie’s shoulders. They wore matching sunglasses, matching defiant grins, and matching designer scarves - Clary’s at her throat, Charlie’s tied jauntily around her shorn head.

Only a handful of pictures followed that one. Charlie’s face and her smile grew thinner but the defiance never wavered. The last was a badly lit candid shot of Clary curled up asleep against her sister on a couch, Charlie pressing a kiss to her brow.

“This was supposed t’be a two-man trip,” Stan said after a while as the screen dimmed.

“Mother died last February. Charlie this January. Last year sucked.” Clary’s laugh was faint and humorless. “Really a candidate for the worst of my life. I spent most of it flying back and forth between Denver and Zurich. Hammering out issues with Mother’s estate, trying to support the kids…we’d been making plans for years. Museums, river cruises, palaces, cathedrals, Paris, Rome…this fucking cross-country tour….”

He could make out her shadowed features by the porch light, mouth bitter and taut. “She made me promise that I’d do this, with the stupid car. Made me promise to do a bunch of other things I didn’t much want to do. Wrote up a bulleted list because she knew I’d make a spreadsheet of the thing and work my way through it. She was right, though, goddamn it.”

Crickets sang into the quiet as Clary forced her breathing to steady. When she spoke again it was measured, and stoic, and barely audible. “She knew me better than I knew her and I will never get to fix that.”

Stan picked up her glass, sloshed in another dollop of brandy, and pressed it into her free hand. She looked down at it for a tired moment, then raised it in salute. “To absent friends. I’m sorry to dump all that on you.”

“To better days.” He tapped his glass against hers. “An’ I promise, they do get better.” They drank slowly and watched the waning quarter-moon track up through the treetops.

“You better take good care of your damnfool brother.”

“Oh, I do. I try, anyway. Some days’re harder than others.”

Leaning into her felt so nice, despite the deepening chill and the gradual stiffness in his legs, that he resisted the weight of weariness longer than he probably should’ve. Eventually he allowed his arm to tighten around her and pressed his cheek into her hair. “It’s gettin’ late an’ you’re gonna be on the road soon. We both oughta get some shut-eye. Anythin’ I can do to help you crash out? Wanna doze off in front of a flick?”

“Mmm. I might stay and watch the stars for a while longer. You probably can’t see how gorgeous it is out here, you’re so used to it.”

“You’re gonna sit here an’ brood half the night, aren’t ya.”

“I love that you’re a sharp observer of the human condition, Stan.” Clary accepted his empty glass with a tiny smile. “I don’t know if I like it as much when you focus it on me.”

Stan shoved the cork home in the old bottle, knowing full well that he should respect her privacy, then felt the words bubble out of him unbidden. “Nope. No way.” She turned a gimlet eye upon him, but he shook his head, resolute. “No damn way. What you oughta do is spend the night.”

Her brows shot up. “What, were you planning to banish me to the back seat of my car?“

“You oughta spend the night with me.” Clary froze in gratifying shock. He took the opportunity to stroke her sharp chin with the pad of his thumb. “C’mon, you already know I make a pretty decent pillow.”

Flickers of expression crossed her features, almost too fast to follow, surprise-amusement-annoyance-grief-exhaustion. “All right. That’s a pitch. Are you going to sell me on it?”

“Sweetpea, if I laid an unwanted hand on you I’d pull back a stump.”

“Ha! You’re not wrong.” She cocked her head, eyes softening. “I think you might be weighing your odds, though.”

Stan cleared his throat. “Maybe a little. I swear I’ll behave. Look, it’ll be warm. If you need t’talk or somethin’ in the wee hours you can just wake me up. I’ve done - “ He paused, because her lips were beginning to tremble. “I’ve done more’n my share of rough nights alone.”

Clary pulled it together by main force of will, blinking a few times, the fine line between her brows deepened into a sharp notch. After a long minute or so she closed her eyes and sighed. “All right,” she murmured. “My air mattress or your lumpy bachelor twin?”

“The lumpy bachelor twin got hauled off and torched while I wasn’t here to argue – after I got all the cash out of it, fortunately. I’ve got a nice new orthopedic full-size. Tight quarters, but not that tight.”

She slipped her free arm around him for a momentary hug, then eased out of his half embrace to rise. “I’ll drop off the glasses and get my pajamas. You go pick up all your laundry.”

“I don’t need to pick up my laundry,” Stan groused, levering himself stiffly upright. He accepted Clary’s hand when she offered, grumbling all the way. The brandy went back upstairs with him because hell if he was going to climb the counter again to stash it in the hidden cabinet. He had time to change into the usual sleepytime uniform of boxers and tank top and was tossing discarded socks from the floor into the hamper when her knock came light upon his door.

At least the sheets were fresh, even if he’d forgotten to make the bed, as usual. “Uh – one sec.” Stan stalled until he’d gotten the last of the dirty clothes rounded up, then let her in, rubbing the back of his neck as she stepped through to survey the sorta-controlled chaos of his personal domain. There was one sad bedside light which left the far corners dim – just as well he’d never upgraded to a decent reading lamp.

The pajamas were lightweight, a loose jersey shirt over shorts, her hair pulled back into an unruly ponytail. Stan squirmed a little as she swept eyes across the room, missing nothing. Her smile widened by slow degrees. “In my defense I wasn’t exactly expectin’ company.“

Clary nudged at his chest, then his bicep, turning him around. “It’s your space. I don’t care. Go on, get, I’m sleepy here.” He shuffled obligingly over towards the bed, then stilled as he felt her palm come to rest at the back of his right shoulder. The careful arc of her thumb traced over the burn scars – he’d been in actual sleeves all month. She hadn’t seen it.

“That, ah. That’s – “

She leaned in, her warmth making the length of his back prickle, and kissed him right at the base of the neck where the most stubborn of his stiff vertebrae jutted. Stan shut up. “If I need to know you can tell me another time. Bed. Now.”

It took a few minutes of shifting around, fitting in with no space to spare, but eventually they nestled face to face with the blankets pulled over. Clary plucked the glasses from his nose and set them behind her on the nightstand. Stan tugged at her ponytail with a sad questioning look and she crinkled her nose at him. “Men and hair,” she muttered, but pulled out the elastic and put it aside, then reached way out to snap off the lamp.

They gradually relaxed together in the near-dark. One of Clary’s hands eased between them to rest against his breastbone. Stan leaned in to kiss her temple, listening to the low rusty rumble of her chuckle and then the rhythm of her breathing as it grew deep and even.

He drifted across the line into peaceful sleep without really noticing he’d done it.

Tumblr masterpost

Clary looks over, sober-eyed. “You don’t have to take any of this more seriously than you want to, Stan.”

I am serious enough to see where this goes in a couple months.

I am completely serious.

Take the very last exit to Friendsville.

#Gravity Falls #gfdatingsim #DDtMMW #Swooning Over Stans #Stanley Pines #OClicious #fanfic

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uas-art · 5 years

Text

Title: The Pandering Country Western Star

Summary: Craig is a closeted country star. Tweek is an internet famous singer who's been out since middle school. when Craig’s ex outs him to a magazine, can Tweek be of any help to Craig in his time of need?

Ships: Creek, Revin, mentioned Stendy, past Cramos

Rating: T

Other: This was a cathartic story to deal with my coworkers being assholes :)

~~~~~~~~

Craig tipped back his head, downing the last of his drink.

Stan raised an eyebrow at him. "So, it's been fifteen minutes. Are you finally going to tell me what happened?"

Craig signaled the bartender for another Coke. He wanted to get absolutely wasted and completely forget the betrayal, but he couldn't risk that he might do something that would drag his reputation down worse than it already would be next week.

"Thomas." Craig fished out a twenty from his wallet and handed it to the bartender. "Just keep bringing whatever drinks you have cold and around until that runs out." He instructed the bartender, who then looked at her regular, Stan.

Stan just shrugged. "What's left over can pay off my tab, I guess."

She nodded and left the men to their own devices.

Stan sipped his Sprite. "What about Thomas? You two break up?"

Craig stirred the ice in his glass. "We are now." He groaned, shoulders slumping forward. "Stan, my career is over. He told a magazine."

Stan choked on his drink. He beat his chest and earned a look from the bartender. He waved her concerns off with his hand.

"'Told'? 'Told' like..." Stan lowered his voice, "like he told a magazine you're gay?"

Craig nodded solemnly. "Yeah. Not just any magazine. Fucking 'Country And Western Life' —the biggest country music magazine. I am boned."

Stan made a sound of understanding, reaching out to pat Craig's back. Stan was in the unique position of having some empathy for Craig's situation. His music career was ruined by gossipy journalism digging too deep into his personal life as well, though, Stan's career hadn't nearly made it as big as Craig's.

His band had one single make it to number one on the top forty charts, and that was mainly because it was in a low budget action spoof that was an unexpected box office success.

Craig had one song make it to number two, and three others make it into the top ten on the country charts. A collaboration he did with another, older star, made it to number one and held the spot for nearly three weeks.

Stan's fall from grace was not nearly as big of a crash and burn as Craig's would be.

"I don't understand why he'd do this." Craig shook his head. "I thought we had something special. Fucking wrong there, I guess."

"What did your manager say?" Stan asked.

Craig raised a shoulder in a shrug. "Red said she'd leave it up to me. I could deny it, but since I don't know what Thomas brought to 'Country And Western Life', I might end up making myself look like a fool. Or I could just come out myself before it publishes and take the thunder from them, but then..." He shuddered.

"You'd have to deal with a legion of homophobic ex-fans throwing Bible verses at you and saying you're doing it to pander to gay people and trying to be some SJW?" Stan finished.

"Yeah." He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose my fan base."

"Well, I can tell you from experience, stepping out of the limelight and settling into a nice domestic life isn't terrible." Stan unlocked his phone and began to turn it towards Craig, but he raised his hand to stop him.

"I don't want to see pictures of your partner and kids." Craig rolled his eyes.

Stan huffed in offence but put his phone in his pocket. "Honestly, Craig? I think you're worrying too much. It's twenty-nineteen. Not as many people as you're expecting will care that your gay. A vocal few, sure, but even if some people are against queer people, they'll ignore it for the sake of your music and work. It'll only be a big deal if you make it one."

He raised his glass slightly. "Or that's what happened when Wendyl and I came out. We still have to block some assholes who spam our accounts sometimes, but once the first 'outrage' died down, we actually got more fans. I don't know if I'm good representation for people, but I think Wendyl is, at least." He smiled fondly at the thought of his partner.

Even though he made a snort at Stan, he was glad that they were happy together. When they were just college roommates, Craig was sure he and Wendyl wouldn't actually make it past the first few dates. Somehow they did though.

That was more than Craig could say about his relationship. He honestly thought Thomas might be the one. He'd occasionally even brought up the idea of a secret wedding, usually as a joke, to test the waters. Thomas never answered him seriously, but he never said he would be against it. The tabloids would have a field day if he started wearing a wedding ring.

Not that that mattered anymore...

Craig set his straw down to drink the coke from the glass. He let a chunk of ice fall into his mouth and crunched down hard on it.

"The difference between you and Wendyl and me is you and Wendyl were retired from your music days. No one talks about 'Moop' anymore. 'Craig Tucker' is a household name," Craig pointed out. "You weren't making hard rock for the radio. You two are activists for animals. One of those lends itself well to a non-binary person and their bisexual husband — and it's not the first one."

Stan rolled his eyes. "That sounded like an insult, but you're feeling like shit so I'll let it slide." He sucked a breath through his teeth. "Craig, dude, I really wish I could help you out here, but...I don't know. I don't think your career is over. You're overreacting. You can still make money as a country star. It'll be rough as hell these next few months, but if you just keep on keeping on, it'll be fine. Show everyone you accept yourself for you and don't care what anyone else thinks."

"Besides, " He rolled his wrist as he spoke, "someone will do something else, have an affair, use a slur in an interview, die, and everyone will move on. It's the music industry. They have the attention span of a gnat."

Craig grunted, burying his face in his arms. Why did he think Stan would actually be able to help him? A country star being gay was a totally different ballpark than a rock star going on a drunken stupor in his underwear through New York.

"So you vote for going out on Twitter and telling everyone myself then? Is that what I'm hearing?" Craig asked as he peeked up to stare past Stan towards the stage.

The folk band finished their set and bowed to the applauding crowd. From the little bits Craig had paid attention too, the folk band wasn't that bad, but the violinist and guitarist needed to work on their harmonies together. They clashed more often than not, fighting each other for the melody with their volume and drowning out the other members.

Stan shrugged. "I guess. At least it's from your mouth and not your ex's."

A single singer with a guitar came on stage now. He was handsome: soft blond hair, round face, a little chubby. Half of him screamed 'country singer', the other half...didn't. He had on a green-gray striped western shirt, brown vest, and a worn cowboy hat above the hips. On the other hand, below the hips, he had on beat up, dirty Converse sneakers and washed out skinny jeans with intentional holes in the knees.

Craig sat up a little to stare at the singer. He whistled quietly.

"Guess if everyone is going to know, it doesn't matter if I stare, does it? Damn." Craig nodded to himself. "He's a mess, but...damn."

Stan followed his gaze to the stage as the singer introduced himself as 'Tweek'. He didn't have the accent Craig was used to hearing from country singers.

"Oh, him? He's a nice guy, actually. Little too anxious, but ok voice nonetheless," Stan told him. "He must want to do country covers tonight. Usually, he wears a normal button up, but not when he sings Conway Twitty and Johnny Cash."

"He ever covered any of my songs?" Craig questioned.

"Yes and no," Stan smirked, "he rarely does any modern country songs. Not unless he really likes them, but I've heard him sing 'You Never Even Called Me By My Name' before."

Craig mock punched Stan in the arm, making him spill part of his Sprite. Stan glared at him before reaching for a napkin to mop up the mess.

Tweek nodded to a man sitting next to the stage to hit play on a recording. The opening piano began as he strummed, tapping his foot. He took a breath and began to sing.

"The bar was empty. I was sweeping up the floor."

Even hearing only the first line, Craig could tell this man had none of the twang that gave the song some of its charm. His voice also didn't go quite as low as Brad Paisley's did naturally, either. He was about to mention this to Stan when Tweek sang the next line, and Craig froze.

"That's when he walked in. I said, 'I'm sorry but we're closed."

"He changed the pronouns," Craig muttered to himself. Stan smirked again at him before shushing Craig with a finger to his lips.

After that, Craig listened more closely. All throughout the entirety of 'We Danced', Tweek kept changing the pronouns from 'she' to 'he'. He even, albeit somewhat clumsily, changed a few other words and phrases as well ('purse' to 'wallet' and 'diamond ring' to 'golden band') confirming that he was singing this song about a man.

"He's not bad," Stan leaned back to speak, "don't you think?"

"Yeah, I mean," Craig shook himself, but it didn't do as much as he hoped, "it's ok. He's ok. He's singing a bit lower than I think he can comfortably do, but he holds the notes nicely and...yeah. He's ok."

Stan chuckled, giving Craig a knowing smile that Craig ignored, instead focusing on Tweek. The crowd clapped when Tweek finished his song before he started up another. Through his entire set, he changed the songs the same way.

After Tweek finished his last cover of 'As She's Walking Away'--'As He's Walking Away'? Craig wasn't sure--he thanked the audience, "Um, thank you, everyone. Have a good night and be safe getting home. Call a cab if you need it." He waved and headed off the stage.

Craig started to get out of his chair before he could help himself. Stan put a hand on his stomach.

"Do you want to meet him?" Stan asked, his eyes glittering.

"W-what?" Craig blinked. He straightened up and quickly took his seat. He sat in the corner of the bar to avoid being identified for a reason.

"Do you want to meet him?" He repeated. "I know Tweek. I can introduce you if you'd like."

Craig narrowed his eyes. "Was this planned, Marsh? Did Red set this up?"

"Happy accident." Stan laughed, jumping from his seat. "Come on, Tweek usually cools down after being on stage out back with his friend, manager, person, Jimmy."

Craig raised an eyebrow but stood anyway to follow Stan out.

~~~~

Tweek and another man sat on the tailgate of a pickup truck that needed a new paint job, new tires, and a new passenger side window. Tweek raised a beer to whatever his friend said with a grin.

"Hey! Tweek, Jimmy! Hey!" Stan waved his arm. "Good show, Tweek."

"Thanks, but it wasn't that good." Tweek took a sip of his beer. "It went ok. I think I sped up a few songs and choruses. Not that that's fully my fault. I was going to sing a different set, but Jimmy brought the wrong CD." He sent a glare at Jimmy, who looked away embarrassed.

"I think it went over w-w-w-well," Jimmy told him matter-of-factly. "Besides, you don’t have 'The M-M-Miss-Missip...' The Squirrel Church Song down yet anyway."

"'Squirrel Church Song'?" Craig stepped around Stan and the two on the tailgate took notice of him for the first time. "You don't mean that Ray Stevens' song, do you?"

Tweek nodded, looking him over as he tried to figure out where he'd seen Craig before.

"Yeah, The Mississippi Squirrel Revival.'" Snapping his fingers to the beat, he sang, "The day the squirrel went berserk in the First Self-Righteous Church--"

"In that sleepy little town of Pascagoula," Craig joined in. Jimmy's eyes grew wide as he made the connection between Craig's voice and his face. His mouth fell open.

With shared grins, the two singers finished the chorus, "It was a fight for survival, that broke out in revival! They were jumpin' pews and shouting 'Hallelujah'!"

Jimmy put his hand on Tweek's arm. "Tweek, that--"

"I know, Jimmy, I know." Tweek rolled his eyes. "I don't have the voice for anything too gospel. Let me have my fun, dude. I'm not on stage."

"No, Tweek, do you know who this is?" He jabbed a finger at Craig. "That C-Cr-Cra-Craig Fucking Tucker!"

Tweek let out a strangled 'WHAT?!' and dropped his beer can. Stan frowned and leaned down, making sure to set it beside Tweek. If Tweek hadn't started yammering on, Stan would have told them to recycle the can when they were done.

"I sang a fucking comedy song with a music star?" Tweek gasped. "Fuck! A professional musician heard me sing on stage? When I was singing a set I hadn’t really practiced!?" His eyes went wide and he stared down at the holes in his knees then groaned, slumping down. " While wearing skinny jeans and a cowboy shirt...!"

Jimmy laughed nervously, waving his hands in front of Tweek.

"He's usually much better than this. It's the beer. I swear." Jimmy forced a smile that Craig could tell was fake. It was the same one Red used when she had to give an answer to a bullshit question to save face.

Stan set a hand on Tweek's shoulder. "Sorry. Should have texted you first before bringing him out, but Craig really enjoyed your show. He wanted to meet you."

"'Meet me'?" Tweek squeaked. "Why?"

Craig shrugged. "Just because." He gestured. "Can I take a seat? Do you mind?"

Jimmy lifted himself up and moved over, exposing a pair of crutches behind him in the bed that Craig hadn't noticed before. Craig sat between them, leaving Stan to use the wheel to hoist himself up and sit in the bed. He accidentally kicked the crutches when he spread his legs out.

"Hey, watch it!" Jimmy scolded. "T-those are new, thank you very much."

"Sorry, Jimmy."

Tweek made a high pitched noise then coughed into his hand. "So, what's a big star like you doing in a bar like this?"

"Is that a pick up line?" Stan asked coyly, making Tweek picked up the empty can and mockingly toss it at him. It missed by a mile and bounced against the metal bed with a clang.

"Stan was a big star before he was an everyday, boring family man." Craig smirked at the glare Stan gave him. "We're friends. I wanted to visit him for the night while I was around."

"Oh, right, Moop. I forget someti..." Tweek trailed off when he realized just how offensive his comment sounded. "Well, that's nice of you to stay in touch with your friend."

"Don't know if I'd go as far as 'friend'..." Stan grumbled, taking out his phone.

They chatted for the next hour or so and Craig learned a lot about Tweek and Jimmy. Jimmy hosted an internet show where he brought what he believed to be up and coming talent on to showcase their skills. Tweek, being his good friend, was the first guest he brought on (or, as Tweek put it 'tricked into a recorded video chat').

Tweek himself had his own channel where he posted covers of whatever song caught his fancy. Just a quick, discrete skim of the YouTube channel confirmed it to Craig. Tweek really did post a little of everything: country, classical, Broadway musicals, folk, rock.

Craig wondered if he was still trying to find his niche or not, and Tweek replied with a shrug.

"My therapist told me to do what makes me happy, and different types of music make me happy," Tweek explained.

"You know what would make me happy? A drink." Jimmy twisted around for his crutches. "Anyone else?"

"I'm good." Tweek shook his head.

Stan opened his mouth to decline when Craig tapped his leg. He flicked his eyes towards Tweek then moved his head a little.

Stan understood, thankfully, and stood up in the bed.

"Craig put tetwenty n on my tab, so I'm getting another Sprite. All drinks are on me whether you want a can or not." He leaped over the side and landed with a stumble on the ground. Quickly correcting himself, he dusted off his pants as if he hadn't nearly landed on his nose.

Tweak looked from Craig than to Jimmy and Stan as they walked away. He chewed his lip and began to stand, calling to wait for him, when Craig cleared his throat.

"May I ask you a personal question?" Craig said quickly, trapping Tweek in a social protocol net.

Tweek twiddled his thumbs together. "Sure. I guess."

"When you sang, you changed the songs. They sounded like you were singing to a man." Craig rested his chin in his palm. "Why is that?"

Tweek's face twisted into an angry, sour expression.

"Because I'm gay and I don't want to sing about girls. I want to sing about men." Tweek's voice came out low and warning. "I'm not making money off my covers or hurting people. It's fine."

Craig recoiled with a frown. "I never said it wasn't."

Tweek eyed his expression a second then frowned himself.

"Sorry. Most of the time when someone asks me that, it's directly followed by how ‘I should be ashamed of myself'." He rolled his eyes.

"Ashamed? For being gay? That's bullshit. It's nothing to be ashamed about." He sounded like a hypocritical anti-bullying program. Realizing this, he quickly added, "or should you be ashamed for singing country without a twang?" He saturated his voice with a deep southern accent on the last word, earning a smile from Tweek.

"Both, actually." Tweek snickered. "I've made some people pretty upset that I can't sing in an accent I don't have. People really like to give me shit for things I can't help."

Craig chuckled. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

His phone buzzed loudly in his pocket. Red was calling him.

"Oh, um, one minute, " Craig held up his finger, "and I'll be right back."

He took a few steps away from the truck before answering.

"Yes, cousin dearest?" Craig answered in a deadpan. "Any more news about my toppled career?"

"Depends. Have you decided what you're going to do?" Red asked from the other end of the line. "Are you going to see how the article turns out or are you going to out yourself?"

Craig hummed a minute. Red said the chance that they wouldn't run the article without the part where Thomas outed him was slim to none. That was too good of information for them to just sit on and never profit from.

"I think I'll tell my fans myself." Craig turned over his shoulder to look at the truck. Stan and Jimmy returned with cans in hand. Jimmy tossed one to Tweek, but he missed and it went under the truck.

"The magazine hits the shelves next week. If you're going to do it, you'll need to do it soon," Red advised. "Livestream, maybe. Or a series of heartfelt tweets. Make sure you mention something about God making you gay. That'll work in your favor."

Craig nodded, realized Red couldn't see him, then replied, "Got it."

"I'll start calling around. There will be plenty of news outlets who want to get the inside scoop on this. Tell me when you're planning on posting it. We need you to look in as best of a light as possible. See you, cuz."

She hung up before he could reply.

When he returned to the truck, Stan's legs stuck out from under it as he searched for the missing can. Tweek crouched beside him, holding his phone light out as Jimmy sipped his beer.

"I could just p-p-p-pull the truck forward, you know," Jimmy offered.

"No, I've nearly got it." Stan wriggled forward. "Ah-ha!" There was a thudding, then a dented can bounced out from under the truck. Tweek tried to grab it, only to fall forward into the dirt.

Craig stooped down and plucked the can up. He winced and held it away from himself. Opening the beer would shower everyone around after all the shaking it had endured. He wasn’t risking it.

Stan's head popped up, dusty and a mess, before he hauled himself up onto the tailgate. Craig handed the beer to Jimmy, who, thankfully, had enough sense not to open it.

"Stan, I need to go." Craig shook his phone for emphasis. "Red has a game plan for...what's going to happen."

"Oh, does she?" Stan patted his hair out. "I'd offer to take you to get Wendyl's help if you want it, but I'm driving these knuckleheads home."

Jimmy rolled his eyes. "We're fine. Tweek is sober as a saint."

"He had a beer when we walked out," Stan countered.

"He spilled half of it."

"Half a beer is still a beer!" Stan snapped. "You're not drunk driving on my watch."

Craig stepped forward. "I'll drive Tweek home if he wants."

Only after the suggestion left his mouth did he realize how strange that must have sounded. Craig barely knew Tweek from Adam. What reason did he have to offer to help Tweek when he already said he had something else to do?

Tweek took a step back. "I rode with Jimmy here. I can squeeze in or I'll sit in the bed. It's fine. Thank you though."

"No, really, let me take you home. I'm a good driver, I swear."

"No, I'll ride with Stan. He knows the way there already."

"Please?"

Jimmy narrowed his eyes. "He said no, dude. Let it d-drop."

Craig swallowed nervously. "Ok, I guess I have to get used to saying this but listen..."

It was hard to breathe suddenly. His face felt hot. His hands were sweating.

"Yes?" Tweek frowned.

"Listen, I, uh, I..." He hissed a breath out. "My ex-boyfriend outed me to a very popular magazine that is going to out me to the public in a week. My manager suggested I steal some of the magazine's thunder by coming out as gay myself. I would like someone with a little more expertise in this subject than I have to offer suggestions on how I should go about doing this bullshit."

Tweek's mouth hung open, as did Jimmy's. Stan picked up his Sprite can and took a long drink.

"Breathe, Craig. Don't pass out, now. You'll get used to saying it after a little while." He raised his Sprite to him. "Be brave, brother."

Craig ignored him, but did take a deep breath and force his lungs to expand.

"Well? If you don't want to, it doesn't matter that much." Craig tensed despite himself.

Tweek chewed his lower lip. "I, um, do you want my number? I have work tomorrow, so I do need to get home and sleep tonight. We can talk after work, if you want?"

Craig relaxed. "Yeah, that sounds good. Thanks, man."

Stan snorted to himself and shook his head at his drink. Craig resisted the urge to flip him off again as he pulled up a new contact. He and Tweek then exchanged phones.

For a brief moment, Craig wanted to add a heart to the end of his name as the contact, but he shook off the thought as silly and inappropriate. He wasn't going to rebound with a random guy at a bar to get back at Thomas. At least, not until he read the article or got a call back.

Though Red told him not to get his hopes up, he still held onto the dream that Thomas hadn't betrayed him and they could work through this together.

Handing Tweek back his phone, Craig pocketed his.

"I do need to go, too, actually." He said with a thumb jab over his shoulder. "I'll text you tomorrow?"

Tweek nodded but didn't speak. He stared at Craig for a second too long before averting his eyes.

Craig smiled to himself and turned to leave, suddenly feeling a little better about his future.

~~~~

Tweek panicked, pacing circles around his living room.

Stan planned this. That fucker had to. Him or Wendyl. Both of them encouraged him to "settle down" every other time they saw him, and last night Stan just so happens to introduce him to an available, handsome, music star who wants Tweek's advice?

There was no way that was all coincidence!

Tweek fretted about this meeting all day, ever since Craig texted him that morning asking when he could come by.

Why did he agree to this? Tweek had been out since he was a teenager! He hadn't had to hide that he was gay from anyone since becoming semi internet famous.

Jimmy featured him in his LGBTQ creators to follow video last June for fuck's sake! Tweek wasn't able to help Craig with this!

Someone knocked, tearing Tweek from his thoughts.

Vowing that the next time he went to visit Stan, he would slip Stan's children an excessive amount of sugary treats, Tweek dragged his feet to the door.

Craig looked the epitome of a modern country star: striped button up with the first three buttons undone, sleeves rolled up, jeans from a brand that Tweek knew he could never afford, a wooden cross hanging from a leather cord around his neck, and even a cowboy hat.

He had deep bags under his hazel eyes, which Tweek refused to look at for too long. He didn't want to risk being caught admiring the flecks of gold-brown in his iris.

"Hey," Tweek stepped aside and allowed him in, "Craig. How are you?"

"Tired." Craig rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm. "My cousin woke me at five in the morning to talk about ideas for telling my fans I'm gay." He reached into his chest pocket to produce a folded sheet of lined paper. "Here's what we got."

Tweek took it but didn't open it. With a wave of his hand, he led Craig through his kitchen. Kiwi, Tweek's bird, raised his head from cleaning his feathers. He twittered at Tweek, walking across the table towards him. Tweek took the bird in his hand. He stroked his feathers as he returned him to his cage in the living room.

"Take a seat," Tweek said before he whistled at Kiwi. Kiwi chirped back then fluttered to sit on a high perch and preen himself in a mirror.

Craig slid onto the couch while Tweek went to his desk chair on the other side of the coffee table.

"Is that bird yours?" Craig eyed Kiwi.

"Yeah. That's Kiwi. My grandma couldn't keep her parrot when she moved, so my parents said I would take her. So I got her budgie, but budgies do better in pairs, so I bought Kiwi to go with my grandma's parrot--oh, her name was Apples. Get it? Apple and Kiwi? She was more yellow than Kiwi is, but," Tweek realized he was babbling and quickly finished his ramble, "Apples passed away last month, so it's just Kiwi now. I'm getting another budgie in a month or two, though. Do you have a pet?"

Craig perked up, some of his tiredness fading. He took his wallet from his pocket. Like a proud father, he flipped it open to reveal a picture of three guinea pigs: a long-haired brown one, a cream colored one with a stripe, and a black and white one.

"This is Petunia," He pointed to the long-haired one. "This is Astro." He moved his finger to the black and white one, "And finally Stripe the Sixth." He tapped the cream colored one.

"‘Sixth'?" Tweek echoed. "What happened to one through five?"

Craig closed his wallet. "Got into the Easter basket, Mom stepped on him, my friend's dog, old age, and old age," he counted off. "I've been keeping them as pets since I was five."

"Anything else?" Tweek sat, setting the paper Craig gave him on the table top.

"What, do you want me to name off pet names for forty head of cattle or a horse?" Craig chuckled and Tweek turned his full attention to his feet. "It's fine, Tweek. I don't own hooved animals."

"Oh, really?" Tweek swallowed. They should change the topic before Tweek made himself look like a complete fool. "We should get started now."

"Sure, if you're ready." Craig pointed to the paper. "Like I said, we spent all morning on it, but you should look over it and make sure we didn't leave anything out."

Tweek didn't touch the paper. "Do the people close to you know? Your parents? Siblings? Best friends?"

Craig blinked in surprise. "Y-yeah? Of course. I told my sister and friends in high school, and I told my parents in college. They know. Why does that matter?"

"Would you want to find out someone you thought trusted you didn't trust you enough to tell you something like they're gay?"

Craig thought on that a moment. "I guess not," He said.

Contented, Tweek finally unfolded the paper. Craig leaned closer, pushing his hat back a little, as he watched Tweek read.

The paper was...something. Tweek couldn't decide what. At times it really did feel heartfelt, but, at times, it also sounded like a celebrity's forced apology.

After reading it once, Tweek stood up and went to his desk. He returned a moment later with a pad of paper and a pencil. As Craig watched him with his eyebrows raised, Tweek organized the parts by level of sincerity.

When he finished, he spun the pad towards Craig and tapped the column with the least sincere sounding parts.

"Can you cut these?"

Craig furrowed his brow as he looked over the lines.

"But, those are important." Craig shook his head. "If I don't mention I'm sorry for hiding it from my fans, they'll get upset and feel betrayed."

"Are you sorry?"

"Yes," Craig replied automatically, robotically. Tweek fixed him with a probing look.

"They're not the ones hiding part of their lives. Their lives aren’t being judged for nothing. You don't owe them an apology," Tweek smiled softly at Craig. "Actually, a lot of these lines here are about your fans. I think only this one about working to make a better future and honest music with them sounds genuine."

Craig pursed his lips. He took a breath and blew it out. The breath whistled through his teeth.

"Why does it have to sound genuine?"

"Because if not, it sounds pandering." Tweek quipped, ripping the organized lines from the pad. As he began to rewrite the speech from scratch, Craig took off his hat and looked down into it with a serious expression on his face.

When he finished, Tweek pushed the pad over. "What do you think of that?"

Craig placed his hat back on, then skimmed the speech. He furrowed his brows and looked up.

"This is good. Really good."

Tweek shrugged, trying to hide the pride he felt.

"Is this how you came out? Did you say these things?" Craig wanted to know, taking a picture of the new script with his phone.

Tweek shook his head. "No. I just blurted it out during dinner one night. Mom and Dad were talking about road work messing their morning drive up and I just shouted ‘I'm gay!' when my dad took a breath. I wanted to tell them for a while, but I could never find the right time." A chuckle and he went on, "Mom said she always kind of knew. Dad said ‘that's nice.' They went right back on talking about the road work."

Craig snorted a laugh. "Really? Your parents sound very chill about it." A sigh. "I hope my fans will be, too."

Tweek reached over and put a hand on Craig's shoulder. "I'm sure they will be. If not, it's not your problem they're homophobes." He squeezed. "Things are really different from a decade ago. Not nearly as many people as you expect will give you flack for kissing boys."

Craig looked up at Tweek's smiling face and returned the expression. He set his hat beside him and pointed towards Kiwi's cage.

"Do you think I could get a better look at your bird? I need a break from all this already, and I do like small animals."

Tweek nodded and promptly jumped to his feet to retrieve Kiwi.

~~~~

Petunia napped on Craig's stomach while Stripe the Sixth munched on hey beside his head. Astro settled himself against Craig's ankle for a snooze.

Red looked over her cousin with a sigh. Her husband, Kevin, tried to peek around her shoulder. Like Craig, Red was taller than average, so Kevin had to step to the side to get a clear view of Craig on the floor of his pet pen.

"Craig, get up."

"Can't. Babies are sleeping." Craig muttered, keeping his own eyes shut. "Just tell me what you think of Tweek's revisions."

Red glanced at the paper in her hand then back up.

"I liked them," Kevin proclaimed. "They sound more...real than what you two had."

"‘Pandering' to the fans is what Tweek said," Craig smiled to himself, "and he wasn't wrong."

"I still think we should focus more on the ‘God made you gay’ bit. I found some verses we could use." Red tapped against her phone.

"I don't want to read Bible verses, Red." Craig slowly opened his eyes. Careful of Petunia, he picked up Stripe the Sixth and held him over his face. Tapping their noses together, Craig went on, "I actually really like how it is now. Short, to the point. It's perfect for me."

Red sighed through her nose before stepping over the low fence. She sat down next to Craig with her legs crossed before plucking Petunia from his stomach to pet in her lap. Petunia looked around after being woken up, pipped once, then snuggled back down into Red's lap.

"I just don't want this to blow up in your face. You've come so far, Craig. I don't want you remembered as ‘that country singer who came out gay and never broke the top twenty again.'"

Craig set Stripe on his chest, scratching the pig's back. He knew that Red was worried. This industry was quick to blow something small out of proportion, destroy someone's life, then move on like it never happened.

"It'll be fine," Craig reassured.

Kevin stepped into the pen now. He bent down and stroked Astro's back. "If you're honest with everyone, I think people will appreciate that," He said. "People like sincerity."

Craig hummed, slowly sitting up.

"Had me my script. I want to read over it again."

He didn't need to read it over. After leaving Tweek's yesterday, he'd been practicing it repeatedly until he could say it it verbatim without looking.

In truth, he just liked Tweek's handwriting. It was a little shaky, but loopy and fun to follow along with his eyes. Craig wondered if he could convince Tweek to write a song with him after the tenth read over, if just so he could read a little more of his handwriting.

He'd listen to some of Tweek's original songs on his channel the night before. They all had a definite show tune quality to them, but Craig figured they could mix their styles. That would be refreshing, to say the least.

He paused a moment, the smile he let on his face falling, to ask, "Red, have you heard any more from Thomas? He still isn't answering my calls."

Red shook her head. "No, nothing else. I'm sorry."

"No, if he wants to hide, then I don't care," Craig grumbled.

He didn't have much more to tell him anyway. The morning before he went to go see Tweek, he'd left Thomas a voicemail telling him they were over. Even if Thomas did gather up his balls enough to call him back, Craig wasn't sure he'd even answer.

Astro woke up and climbed on Kevin's legs as Kevin asked, "Do you have a date for this? The magazine publishes in less than a week."

"Tomorrow," Red answered before Craig opened his mouth. "This happens tomorrow. A live stream, I think, would be best. Butter them up with your guinea pigs," she held up Petunia, "then break the news."

Sitting up, Craig held Stripe to his chest. "Yeah, I guess that'll work." He stood, stretching his back until it popped. "Come on, Stripe, let's go practice while Aunty Red and Uncle Kevin set up my living room and make everything as down-homey as possible."

Red's head snapped up. "We never agreed to that!"

"Oh no, I can't hear you. I'm out of the room. I'm so far away now," Craig deadpanned, keeping his voice at the same level as he left to go practice.

~~~~~

AN: Chapter 2

#sp creek #fanfiction #tweek tweak #craig tucker #stan marsh #jimmy valmer #sp red #kevin stoley #revin #multichapter #I did like ZERO rresearch on how music insdustry works. That wasn't the point of this fic to be accurate

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weekendwarriorblog · 3 years

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The Weekend Warrior 8/13/21 - CODA, FREE GUY, DON’T BREATHE 2, RESPECT, THE LOST LEONARDO, WHAT IF, and More!

Well, that was kind of a disappointing last weekend as James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad pretty much tanked at the box office, making less than Birds of Prey did back in February 2020 with all sorts of backseat analysis explaining why it didn’t do well as anyone, other than a scant, few thought. I mean, I’m still kind of stunned, even though COVID and the Delta variant seem to be losing steam as far as being news. It certainly didn’t help that HBO Max decided to release the movie concurrently on HBO Max on Thursday at 7pm.

The nice thing about this week is that we have three new movies, none of which are on streaming or On Demand at the exact same time, so if you want to see any of them, you’ll have to put on your N96 masks and get yourself to theaters. Two of the three movies are originals, while the third is a sequel to quite an original horror movie from about five years back. All of them are pretty good, actually. We’ll get to them soon...

But first, let’s start with this week’s “The Chosen One” and it’s gotta be Siân Heder’s CODA i.e. “Child of Deaf Adults,” which will play in select theaters and on Apple TV+ starting Friday. If you hadn’t heard, it was the belle of the ball at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, winning the Jury Prize and Audience Award alike. Heder previously directed Tallulah and is the showrunner on Apple’s Little America, but this really is a very special film that I’ve enjoyed on repeat viewings now.

It stars Emilia Jones as Ruby Rossi, the sole hearing person in her family of Gloucester fishermen, who are out every day on the sea making the latest catch in their nets. Ruby has other aspirations, and when she joins the school choir, the teacher, Mr. Villalobos (Eugene Derbez) sees talent in Ruby that he thinks might get her into the Berklee College of Music. Ruby has to weigh that with her family’s need to have her as an interpreter while dealing with the other fishermen of the town.

I didn’t know what to expect when I saw this at Sundance back in January, and it still surprised me when I rewatched it again, because it’s a movie that involves a lot of elements that shouldn’t necessarily work, between the fishing and the singing and all the ASL between the amazing ingenue, Ms. Jones, and the deaf actors playing her family, including the one and only Oscar-winning Marlee Matlin. If not for these disparate elements, Coda might be a fairly standard indie family drama, but Heder finds just the right balance of showing how these disparities in Ruby’s life make it hard for her to pursue her dreams.

Ferdia Walsh-Peelo from Sing Street plays the classmate who Ruby is set up with to perform a duet at their high school recital, and of course, he also becomes an unwitting love interest. Unfortunately that’s the aspect of the film that’s the weakest, because Jones’ scenes with Matlin and the other actors, including Derbez, as well as Troy Kotsur and Daniel Durant, as Ruby’s father and brother, are just so powerful and moving even if they’re all in ASL with no dialogue or even incidental score.

Coda is Heder’s second film after Talllulah, a movie starring Elliot Page that never really connected with me, but Coda is such a strong and exceedingly crowd-pleasing film that I have to imagine that this would connect with everybody. I’m not sure if Apple’s gonna be able to get this movie all the way to Oscar night, but I do like its chances for Adapted (?) Screenplay, and maybe Matlin and Kotsur Supporting? I don’t know, because it’s so early and hard to tell, but hopefully the decision to wait so long after the virtual Sundance won’t hurt this movie as it hurt other Sundance award-winning films. Coda is just a joy that I’m sure will be many people’s favorite movie.

You can read my interview with Ms. Heder over at Below the Line.

Incidentally, in last week’s column, I talked about the 20th New York Asian Film Festival, but I didn’t realize that it was only running at Film at Lincoln Center for a week before going down to the SVA Theater on 23rd Street, and you can check out the schedule of movies playing there at the official site. And of course, there’s still the Virtual Festival that’s running through August 22. Also, Fantasia is still going on in Montreal, and I still haven’t had time to watch very much. What can I say? I suck.

Let’s get to some wide releases, shall we?

First up and probably the most likely to win the weekend is Ryan Reynolds’ new action-comedy, FREE GUY (20th Century Studios), directed by Shawn Levy and co-starring Jodie Comer from Killing Eve. The high-concept comedy has Reynolds playing Guy, a bank teller, who actually is a non-player character in a video game called “Free City” that’s kind of a cross between Grand Theft Auto and Fortnite. When he meets Comer’s character in the game, he falls mady in love and decides to do whatever it takes to get on her level. (Get it?) In doing so, Guy ends up becoming a hero for Free City, as well as a viral sensation across the globe as gamers thrill to Guy’s adventures.

Free Guy is Ryan Reynolds’ first live-action starring role theatrical release since…. Oh…. the action-comedy sequel The Hitman’s Bodyguard’s Wife a little under two months ago. Considering that barely made half of what its predecessor did, and that’s with Reynolds sharing the screen with Samuel L. Jackson and Salma Hayek, one wonders if his draw as an A-lister can be maintained during a pandemic. Before that, you’d have to go all the way back to 2018’s Deadpool 2 for a fully live Reynolds movie, because he wasn’t seen as himself for most of his role in and as Detective Pikachu. Of course, Reynolds’ unmistakable voice was back in DreamWorks Animation’s The Croods: A New Age, the sequel to the 2013 blockbuster that made the ballsy move to be one of the first movies to open during the pandemic. It grossed $58.6 million in theaters, which was slightly more than Christopher Nolan’s Tenet and even more than the Warner Bros. sequel, Wonder Woman 1984.

This is also a big movie for Jodie Comer, who won an Emmy and was nominated for two Golden Globes for Killing Eve, but hasn’t really been in too many movies, other than playing Rey’s Mum in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Later this year, she’ll star in Ridley Scott’s The Last Duel and may possibly be back in the awards game again, we’ll see. The movie also stars Lil Rel Howery, who seems to be everywhere and in everything these days, as well as Taika Waititi who is super-hot right now due to 2019’s Jojo Rabbit, and his various television projects, as well as having a small role in James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad last week.

In some ways, Free Guy is gonna be a test for a lot of things, the first one being whether Reynolds is a big enough draw when not playing Deadpool to get people into theaters, just as people are starting to get skittish again about going into movie theaters. More importantly, it will show whether not having a movie on streaming or VOD means that people who want to see it will put aside their fears and return to theaters… like they did with F9 and Black Widow and Godzilla vs. Kong. Is an original non-franchise movie like Free Guy enough to get people interested in getting their butts off the couch and into a far more comfortable movie theater seat? (I’m being facetious, if you didn’t guess.)

After The Suicide Squad last week, I’m really not sure whether I can trust my own instincts, but I also don’t want to lower my prediction to something ridiculous out of fear that the pandemic really is destroying any chance of the box office fully recovering. One thing working in Free Guy’s favor, besides its PG-13 rating is that it’s not available on streaming and VOD. Anyone who has been intrigued by the film’s great reviews will HAVE to go out to a movie theater to see it or else, they’ll have to wait 45 days.

Maybe if this opened last month, I could see it open in the $30 million to $40 million range, but with things being the way they are, I’d probably go with high $20 million, so close to $30 million but not quite.

You can read my review over at Below the Line, and I’ll have an interview with the film’s Production Designer, Ethan Tobman, fairly soon.

Also opening Friday is the horror sequel DON’T BREATHE 2 (Sony/Screen Gems), starring Stephen Lang as the blind former Navy Seal who terrorized a bunch of kids who broke into his house in 2016’s Don’t Breathe.

The original movie, which starred Jane Levy, reuniting with director Fede Alvarez after the two remade Evil Dead for producer Sam Raimi, opened in late August, on the fourth weekend of the original Suicide Squad, in fact, and it knocked the movie out of the #1 spot. Its $26 million opening in 3,000 theaters was impressive for the time, partially because late August has never been great. It stayed #1 for a second weekend, over Labor Day, and it ended up grossing $89.2 million in North America, which is great for an R-rated horror film.

Levy isn’t around for the sequel and Alvarez has moved into a co-writer/producer role for his creative partner, Rodo Sagayes, to take over the directing reins, but honestly, I’m not sure how many people will know or care, because Lang’s character and the film’s violence and chills are it’s real selling point. Like many horror movies, there isn’t much in terms of star power other than Lang, but that has never really hindered the success of a horror movie in the past.

As with every movie I cover in this column, there’s the pandemic in the room and whether that might hold people back from going to theaters. I wish there was a way to calculate the effect that’s had on moviegoing, because it seems to affect movies differently. For instance, the recent The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It was able to open with $24.1 million just two months ago, although that was down from the $40 million of the previous two chapters. So that’s about a 40% drop-off in a similar five-year gap between movies. (Actually, it’s kind of strange that 2021 is replicating 2021 with three sequels to movies from five years earlier.) There’s no denying that the number of Covid cases are way up since June and movie theaters are still being painted as the “enemy” even though no significant cases have been traced back to the movies.

We also have to look at Sony’s last horror sequel, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions, which I quite enjoyed, but it ended up opening with about $10 million less than the original movie a few years back. We can probably expect Don’t Breathe 2 to have a similar pandemic drop-off even if it’s another movie that won’t be on streaming or VOD this weekend.

I think Don’t Breathe 2 should be good for around $15 million this weekend since it’s catering towards a young audience that’s a bit more devil-may-care about going out to theaters. It will also probably appeal more to older single guys than something like Free Guy, which seems different enough to pull in a different audience.

My review will be posted over at Below the Line later on Thursday, plus I have a bunch of interviews coming, including this one with Rodo Sayagues and Fede Alvarez.

Next up is RESPECT (MGM), the long-awaited Aretha Franklin biopic (for those that didn’t see Genius, like me, I guess), starring Oscar-winner Jennifer Hudson as the Queen of Soul. The movie directed by Liesl Tommmy was supposed to be released in January to take part in last year’s Oscars race, but I guess MGM wanted to make sure it got a proper theatrical release, which wasn’t possible since NYC and L.A. movie theaters didn’t reopen until March after the cut-off. But MGM had already decided to push the movie back to the summer in hopes of having more theaters able to play the movie, which is kind of true now?

It’s been a while since we’ve seen JHud in a high-profile theatrical release, and unfortunately, the last one was 2019’s Cats, a movie in which she probably was the best thing, although it still only grossed $27 million domestically, a flat-out bomb. Before that, she provided her voice for the animated blockbuster Sing in 2016, and then a bunch of smaller movies before that. She’s joined in the movie by the likes of Oscar winner Forest Whitaker, Marlon Wayans, Titus Burgess, Mary J. Blige, Marc Maron, and Audra MacDonald, quite an impressive array of talent that shows how many wanted to be involved with this project. Director Liesl Tommy is making her feature directorial debut after directing a ton of theater and TV shows like The Walking Dead and Jessica Jones.

Even so, it’s obviously that the ongoing popularity of Aretha Franklin, especially since her death in 2018, is going to go a long way into getting people into theaters, which includes a lot of older black women who really haven’t had much to get them out into theaters in recent months. Will this be enough?

Before Respect was delayed from its original January release, many thought that Hudson would receive another Oscar nomination for her performances. Having not seen the movie at the time of this writing, I can’t confirm or deny those chances. If that’s still the case, then releasing the movie towards the end of the summer (similar to The Help, successfully, and The Butler, not so much) is an odd decision rather than just holding the movie for festival season by holding until next month.

Either way, I think the love Aretha’s fans have for the Queen of Soul as well as Hudson’s fans, Respect should be good for between $8 and 10 million this weekend -- hard to pinpoint exactly without knowing how many theaters MGM is getting for it against the stronger summer movies.

Mini-Review: I wasn’t really sure what to expect from Respect, even after seeing the trailer a couple dozen times in front of other movies, but it’s a respectable biopic that cover 20 years in the life of the Queen of Soul from singing at a young age in her father’s church to returning to church for the gospel records as captured in the recently-released doc, Amazing Grace.

But first, we go back to 1952 where Aretha is a young girl (played by Skye Dakota Turner) is uncertain of her future as she’s being ordered about by her preacher father (Forrest Whitaker) and trying to find direction. The movie casually sets up the fact that young Aretha was sexually abused by a family friend, and maybe she got pregnant, too? It’s hard to tell and maybe a little odd since she would only have been 10 at the time, but it’s something that will be brought up (just as subtly) over the course of the film.

Jennifer Hudson takes over as Aretha as she turns 19 and goes to New York City to start recording, meets Marlon Wayans’ Ted White, makes him her manager and marries her, which basically has her going from one abusive man in her father to another one. It feels like the movie spends a long than normal time on the ‘60s, which is when Franklin’s career really took off with “Respect” and then a series of hits that took her all around the world. That whole time, she’s dealing with Ted’s abuses and jealousy while trying to write and record those hits, before her dark demons return and she starts drinking heavily.

As you might imagine, you go to see Respect to see how well Jennifer Hudson pulls off the Queen of Soul, and she’s an incredibly complex character that needs a nuanced performance, which Hudson tries to pull off by bringing different aspects of her life into different scenes.

There are some scenes that don’t work as well as others, and it feels like there’s a bit of time-crunching or futzing around so that at a certain point, her father seems to be de-aging, although I was just as impressed (possibly even moreso) with Forrest Whitaker, whose performance as Aretha’s father is more than just a full-on villain despite his violent treatment of his daughter. Wayans is also good and almost unrecognizable at first, and there are a few other nice performances in there as well, including Marc Maron as record label head Jerry Wexler.

But the performances Hudson gives as Franklin are goosebump-inducing, leading up to the recording of her record-selling gospel record as depicted in the aforementioned doc.

A fairly decent representation of Franklin’s little-known life leading up to her fame, Respect probably succeeds the most when Jennifer Hudson is performing as the Queen of Soul, but she’s also created a fairly moving portrait with strong dramatic moments that far outweigh any of the film’s issues. Rating: 8/10

With that in mind, this is how I see the weekend looking with two of the new movies bumping Suicide Squad down to third place where it will be facing off against Respect.

1. Free Guy (20th Century/Disney) - $28.5 million N/A

2. Don’t Breathe 2 (Sony/Screen Gems) - $15 million N/A

3. The Suicide Squad (Warner Bros.) - $10 million -62%

4. Respect (MGM) - $9.6 million N/A

5. Jungle Cruise (Walt Disney Pictures) - $8.7 million -55%

6. Old (Universal) - $2.5 million -36%

7. Black Widow (Marvel/Disney) - $2.4 million -39%

8. Stillwater (Focus) - $2 million -39%

9. Space Jam: A New Legacy (Warner Bros.) - $1.3 million -43%

10. The Green Knight (A24) - $1.1 million -56%

Donnie Yen stars in Bennie Chang’s RAGING FIRE (WELL GO USA), which premiered at the New York Asian Film Festival on Monday and at Fantasia in Montreal on Tuesday, and I’m not going to review this, because honestly, it’s such a cookie-cutter Hong Kong police action-thriller that I’m not sure I really have much to say about it, so I won’t.

On the other hand, I do have more to say about Andreas Koefoed’s documentary, THE LOST LEONARDO (Sony Pictures Classics), the Leonardo being Da Vinci, the master artist behind the Mona Lisa and many other works. Since I don’t really follow the world of art, I really didn’t know about the Salvator Mundi painting found about 10-12 years ago that was thought to be an original Da Vinci worth in the hundreds of millions, often dubbed “The Male Mona Lisa.” But it’s also a painting that was surrounded by controversy due to the 5-year restoring job that may have left very little of the original painting.

As the film began, I was groaning a little about sitting through another movie of art experts and historians talking about how important a find this is and why it’s either great or horrible, depending on who is being interviewed. Eventually, the film gets more interesting as it starts getting into the idea of selling it. After being sold to a wealthy Russian oligarch by an unscrupulous Swiss art dealer who made a nice profit on it, the painting ends up being auctioned by Christie’s, and the story just keeps getting more and more interesting as it goes along.

While I’m not one to go ga-ga over any painting by Da Vinci or otherwise, I do like a good mystery or suspense-thriller, so good on Koefoed for realizing about halfway through this movie that the talking heads will never be as interesting as actual footage. And that’s what happens here, too. I actually feel a little ignorant that I wasn’t aware this was going on as it was, maybe because I don’t really follow the art world in that respect. Maybe I just missed it, so it’s good that Sony Classics (who loves making movies about art) is giving this a fairly high-profile release following its premiere at the Tribeca Film Festival a few months back. In that sense, The Lost Leonardo is quite a gem.

Heinz Brinkman’s USEDOM: A CLEAR VIEW OF THE SEA (Big World Pictures) is a somewhat intriguing doc about the Baltic island of Usedom, the location of a number of imperial German health resorts, beaches and such, and how the Jews were kicked out by the Nazis before Usedom was split into a German and Polish half after WWII. I wish I could get into this more, but I just have a limited mental capacity for a lot of German talking heads.

Which brings us to Michael Tucker and Petra Epperlein’s THE MEANING OF HITLER (IFC Films), the new doc from the team behind Gunner Palace, which looks at the cultural fascination with Hitler and Nazism and the recent rise in white supremacy, antisemitism and the “weaponization of history itself.” I don’t know what that last part means, because I got so swamped this week that I didn’t get to watch this, and like another recent doc on the subject of Naziism and the Holocaust, I just couldn’t get into the right head space to hit play on this doc. Maybe I’ll watch it sometime down the road.

Similarly, I didn’t get around to watching Dutch filmmaker Jim Taihuttu’s THE EAST (Magnet Releasing), which I may like as a fan of Paul Verhoeven’s Dutch WWII films, and I probably should give this a look, but I just ran out of time this week. It’s about a young Dutch soldier who joins an elite unit led by a mysterious captain called “The Turk,” and it takes place in the Indonesian War of Independence after World War II.

As far as TV goes, Wednesday sees the debut of Marvel Studios’ WHAT IF...? on Disney+. I’ve seen the first three episodes, and I was a pretty big fan of the comics in the ‘70s (sadly, part of the giant collection that I sold a few years back), and I guess this is okay. The first episode is the one with Haley Atwell voicing “Captain Carter” i.e. Peggy Carter gets the Super Soldier Serum, which is one of the more obvious What Ifs that could possibly done, so that we can get another “women are as good as men, and they need to be heard” storyline that’s in 90% of the Marvel movies already. On the other hand, the first episode does include the voices of Sebastian Stan and others, so it’s quite a coup in that sense, but whoever wrote it, clearly doesn’t understand that people spoke differently in the ‘40s. I liked the 2nd episode, a mash-up of Black Panther and Guardians of the Galaxy, which is a fun idea that brings together a lot of great characters -- including Chadwick Boseman’s last voice performance -- but again, hearing the voices just isn’t the same when the writing isn’t as good as the movie. I feel like the animation for the show is okay, maybe not quite on par with some of the great Batman or Superman cartoons we’ve gotten over the years. On the other hand, the entire series features the great voice of Jeffrey Wright as The Watcher, acting kind of like the Rod Serling for the series, much like the Watcher does in the comics. I also dug the music by Emmy winner Laura Karpman (Lovecraft Country), and I’ll watch the rest of the series as it debuts, but I’m not sure it’s as much a rush to see each episode to avoid spoilers as with Loki or WandaVision.

Hitting Netflix this week is the limited series, BRAND NEW CHERRY FLAVOR (Netflix), starring Rosa Salazar, Eric Lange, and Catherine Keener. The tagline is: “Lisa Nova (Rosa Salazar) comes to LA dead set on directing her first movie. But when she trusts the wrong person and gets stabbed in the back, everything goes sideways and a dream project turns into a nightmare. This particular nightmare has zombies, hit men, supernatural kittens, and a mysterious tattoo artist who likes to put curses on people. And Lisa’s going to have to figure out some secrets from her own past in order to get out alive.”

Also, TITANS Season 3 debuts on HBO Max, but since I haven’t watched seasons 1 or 2 yet, it might be some time before I get to it.

Next week looks like it could be a bit of a dog with four or five new wide releases but nothing that really jumps out, plus I’ll be in Atlantic City all next weekend, so who knows how much I’ll be able to watch or write about?

#The Weekend WArrior #Movies #Reviews #Coda #Free Guy #Respect #Don't Breathe 2 #the Lost Leonardo #Box Office

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aceofwands · 7 years

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it wants to give us the exciting parts and the emotional pay off without actually doing any of the work, is the best way I can think to explain it Ria hateblogs Discovery: Episode 7 “[Poorly Written Time Travel] Magic to Make[s] the Sanest [Wo]Man Go Mad”

liveblogged to @kendradaynes

we had entirely 'last time on Discovery' before the intro credits, like not even a teaser ...

kendradaynes... That's an unusual choice

aceofwands I thought so too!

it was just Mudd being left behind on the Klingon ship. probs cause Mudd is gonna show up (we saw in the teaser last week). seems an odd choice too, like it was only a couple episodes ago, we haven't forgotten what they did???

close up of Michael's face, giving a personal log

oh lord

already paused it to write an awful line of dialogue down: "despite my fears, I seem to have found my place on this discovery"

discovery of WHAT

the dialogue is so bad Shin, so bad

kendradaynes..... What? That is...That makes angsty teenage fic seem well written

aceofwands: she's talking about the ship's settled into routine ... which ... what? aren't they in the middle of a war?!!!!!!!!

and about how she's made a friend in Tilly, and how she's taken comfort in her work

and how "this ship has become the most important weapon in the Federation's arsenal"

and I can't even

it doesn't even feel like they're at war! the way they go around on this shiny ship and talk about how it's settled into routine??????

kendradaynes... I want to send them all of DS9 s7 and Voyager's Year of Hell 2 parter and maybe Enterprise season 3 to show WHY THAT WOULDN'T WORK

aceofwands: Stamet's wacky drive piloting ability has "Given him access not just to unseen parts of space but his personality as well" and like ... that's a worry! WHY IS NO ONE WORRIED ABOUT THIS

kendradaynes THAT IS NOT A GOOD THING GET THAT MAN TO A PSYCHOLOGIST

aceofwands I keep pausing this ONE PERSONAL LOG

she confesses she finds some members of the crew more interesting than others (lol what others, they feel even more like background characters than any of the other shows somehow???) and it's her talking to Voq-Tyler

(people online have been debating how it's too obvious that he's Voq, but I don't have any faith in these writers not doing the really fucking obvious)

"Lt Tyler has suffered so much and still maintains such dignity and kindness" I really really hope he actually is Voq like wow I want them to be this bad at writing (and nothing I've seen so far makes me think they're any good at it)

“I fear my personal history interferes with my ability to forge relationships. I am among the others yet also apart." I can't get over this, it's like bad self-insert fan fic (I'm not even 5 mins in lol, I'd better let her finish her stupid log and stop pausing it lol)

oh lord, she's facing one of her greatest challenges so far ... they're having a party

they're ... playing ... beer ... pong ... on Star Trek

this is like a gross noisy college frat party ... on Star Trek ...

why is Michael not wearing casual clothes ...

kendradaynes... #weneedtheorville

aceofwands Orville's party in Pria had more dignity??? which y'know, the show is full of dick jokes

oh it's okay though, Tyler is giving a speech

wait did he just point to a guy who's "sacrificed for us" who had some sort of disability? I went back - there's a guy sitting on what I think is supposed to be a futuristic wheelchair I guess?

how did we get from It's Only a Paper Moon to this?

kendradaynes There are also... Very few disabling things that can't be at least partially cured by the 23rd century

aceofwands yeeeeah my thoughts exactly. but it was unclear and part of a dramatic speech so

Tilly left Michael and Tyler alone together at the party, but they were asked to report to the bridge

I still don’t know why everyone loves Tilly ... she doesn't seem like a cadet, unless you count the AOS crew as cadets ... again, everyone's too 2017

ummmmmmm. so Michael and Tyler were walking along the corridor. when she bumped into Stamets and knocked a container of whatsits over. and he hugged her and asked why she's apologising for a random moment that makes life so gloriously unpredictable and WHY IS NO ONE CONCERNED FOR HIM

kendradaynes... That makes sense. He sounds high

aceofwands ohthe Doctor has just shown up in this conversation out of nowhere. "I deeply apologise for my partner, lately he's been acting ... different"

WHY ARE YOU HERE IN THIS RANDOM CORRIDOR DOC! YOU WEREN'T WALKING BESIDES STAMETS??? WHY DID YOU TURN UP JUST TO BE PART OF THIS CONVERSATION

(I keep pausing it, I'm only 7 mins in, I might uh ... stop pausing it and try to keep up lol)

kendradaynes There are so many plot holes in this show

aceofwands they made a cybernetic augment for his arm??

then they asked what the deal between Michael and Tyler is ... and I just ... why is this show ... so ... clumsy? there is no nuance, no subtlety, it’s like they have to hit us over the head with everything like MICHAEL AND TYLER LIKE EACH OTHER OKAY AUDIENCE, DO YOU GET IT?

kendradaynes Honestly it feels like 18 year old self-insert fanfiction

aceofwands cut to the bridge. Saru and Lorca found an unidentified signal ... its some sort of biological space organism

which Michael knows a lot about

kendradaynes Of course. Because she knows everything

aceofwands protocol requires them to take care of it, because it's endangered, which is nice because actual Star Trek things

and um what

kendradaynes I hate her, jsyk

aceofwands they just beamed it into the cargo bay???????????????????

IT LIVES IN SPACE

IN VACUUM

HOW WOULD IT SURVIVE IN ATMOSPHERE AND GRAVITY???

kendradaynes welp that thing would be dead

aceofwands OMG IT HAS A DEMOGORGON FACE

some dude in a helmet hitched a ride inside its mouth and used it to get on board

its killed a bunch of people, but Michael escaped

oh its Mudd, to no one's surprise

kendradaynes Of course. Because self insert

aceofwands "did you really think you could leave me in a Klingon prison and suffer no repercussions?"

what have they done to his character

good fucking grief

kendradaynes*sigh*

aceofwands he's come here to find out why the Discovery is special, and is talking about how he's gonna sell it to the Klingons, but "not this time". so Mudd's causing a time travel loop. exploding their ship. the Discovery is blowing up. but now it's back to the party

this sucks

usually I LOVE time loop episodes

they're usually so fun! but this show is boring and dumb

oh man ... if you're gonna repeat scenes ... THIS IS THE BEST YOU'VE GOT???? them walking along a corridor talking

OH LOL it's Stamets. he's the only one who recognises the time loop. and everyone thinks he's crazy! "I need all of you blasted people to start listening"

why is this episode not about Stamets talking to someone?

why wouldn’t they listen to him???

Michael's all "oooooh how did Stamets know what it was going to be???"

.....had to pause it. Michael requested being in charge of the operation. Lorca: "I don't give a damn, I just want it done". then Tyler requested being in charge for security. and Lorca: "I still don't give a damn"

this. is. not. Star. Trek.

seriously

when there was a time loop on Next Gen and they started realising they HELD A FUCKING STAFF MEETING! and they realised through the poker game, which was clever! and everything about that was more fun and impressive than this shit has been in the first 15 mins!

the spore drive just activated, and they're all like 'why is this happening?". but obvs Mudd's in engineering

Tyler and Michael are threatening him with phasers, but haven't shot him on sight. oh they finally did. but there was a forcefield. Mudd's trying to figure out how the drive works.

Michael: "You are mad."

Mudd: "No, I'm Mudd."

WHY

I wish the idiots who wrote this garbage would get stuck in a time loop and forced to watch this awful episode over and over until they figured out how to stop it from being so bad

then he yelled at them to tell him how to work it AND STAMETS WAS BEHIND HIM AND SHOT HIM IN THE BACK. and said: "As days go, this was a weird one" which is hilarious

except that I'm not even 20 mins in and somehow bored?

how can they make time loops boring?

they keep saying different things???? in the scenes????

is it a time loop or isn't it?

do they know or don't they?

this doesn't make sense!

kendradaynes That's... not how a timeloop works. It only changes when they realise it

aceofwands yeah it's clearly trying to jump to the parts later on, cause Stamets implies that they've looped many times already. but instead - as usual - it just comes across as .. confused? muddled? like it's not really a time loop because they clearly know it's a loop enough to change what they say, but not enough to realise they're looping???

kendradaynes Yeah that's not how time loops are meant to work and I'm mildly vexed

aceofwands Mudd has got Lorca to come down with him "I really can't take it from the top again Lorca"

ummmm Mudd's talking about how he's explained this to Lorca before, but needs his help to access part of the ship ... if he's aware they're looping then ... why is he so bad at ... I don't even know .... [I stopped being able to explain everything wrong with this episode’s plot around this point]

this episode is a primer in How Not To Write Time Travel

Stamets is explaining how he thinks he's outside of the loop: "it's getting really hard to keep it straight" lol

he needs Michael to talk to Tyler but they're about to loop, and Stamets wants her to tell him something so she'll trust him straight away next loop. and she did??? and he made a sad face and said he was sorry

don't make me have feelings with your decent acting Anthony Rapp

but also do they not have protocols for time travel or like anything else to share???

"now is usually around the time he kills the Captain" - can we stay in that when we fix the loop lol

"you kill a Starfleet captain they lock you up for ever" ummm do they really

LOL WE'RE GETTING ALL THE LOOPS WHERE MUDD KILLS LORCA AND IT'S ACTUALLY REALLY SATISFYING WATCHING HIM DIE

HE'S EATING A SANDWICH AND HAD LORCA BEAMED TO SPACE

53 TIMES LOL

AHAHAHAHAHAHHAA

OKAY

ACTUALLY HILARIOUS PART

loop back to the party: Michael and Tilly talking. Stamets appears, taps Tilly, "I just spotted the hottest guy over there and apparently, he's in a band! Have fun!" (she was explaining earlier how she used to be into soldiers but is lately into musicians, cause that's what passes for character development on this awful show)

genuinely made me laugh

Michael's secret is that she's never been in love ... which we knew from the way she acted earlier in the episode??? not even a secret

HIS DIALOGUE IS DIFFERENT

THIS ISN'T HOW TIME LOOPS WORK

oh that was enough for Stamets to prove he was telling the truth ... and she now has to talk to Tyler about mudd?? idk it's super unclear why this is happening or what they're hoping to achieve ?????

honestly this episode is a terrible muddled mess

...................had to pause it again

to explain this scene

I'm leaving out so much and you're probably confused (I'm watching it and I'm confused)

she blew her chance to talk to Tyler because she likes him, which Stamets points out, and she says she's out of her element, so he says 'dance with me, for science, so I can see what I'm working with ... 'and like .... helping Michael talk to the guy she likes .... .... so they can save the ship from a time loop ... is the worst idea for a Star Trek episode I've ever heard. and I've watched Threshold

stupid space lizards make more sense than this plot

she's wondering how people make connections

and Stamets is explaining how Dr Culber and he got together

because the Doc was humming terrible opera

I ... I ... this

I can't Shin

you'll have to watch this dumb show with me if you want to make sense of it

I have to go back and attempt

no I'll just type out this conversation

see if it makes any sense to you

kendradaynes This sounds like it's impossible to make sense of even while watching

aceofwands

"Hugh and I fell in love after I told him to get lost."

"That doesn't make any sense."

"Love isn't logical." (they're slow dancing while this happens)

"I was in a wonderful cafe on Alpha Centauri when three seats down comes this hideous humming. Have you ever heard someone try to hum Casselian opera?"

"I can't say that I have."

"Well I told him to stifle it or sit somewhere else. Instead, he sat right next to me. And he's been there ever since." [Michael looks as confused as I am]

"After such a rude exchange. Why would he do that?"

"I told him how I really felt. And he did the same. And we liked that about each other."

"I'm good at honesty."

"Never hide who you really are. That's the way relationships work."

... ............... I have no words for how little this scene makes sense. that is not how relationships work???? that is a terrible way for them to get together???? and most importantly WHY ARE THEY SLOW DANCING (hint because they realised having them stand around the corridors was fucking boring probably)

kendradaynes THAT IS NOT HOW RELATIONSHIPS WORK

aceofwands I KNOW RIGHT

THEY'RE OUT OF TIME ALREADY? NO WAY IT HAS BEEN HALF AN HOUR

lol Michael is pulling Tyler away to dance in this time loop, the lighting is very purple with lots of close ups of their hands on each other

had to pause it again I am dying of bad laughter at the nonsense

they're dancing and it's kinda sweet and they've got an almost hint at a sexy vibe .... and then Burnham goes "So I hear you were locked up in a Klingon prison cell with Harry Mudd"

whyyyy are they not having a staff meeting about this?

I mean I know Lorca is a jerk and all. but this approach makes ZERO SENSE! she's telling him the whole truth, while they dance ... Stamets is watching and looking bemused ....

Tyler is like "why would he think I'd trust you?"

"Because I like you. And he thinks you like me too."

and he's like 'oh ... tonight's gotten weird but also very interesting'

WHY DO NONE OF THEM ACT LIKE REAL PEOPLE?

like ... how is it that Shakespearean, larger than life characters in previous series somehow feel more real and genuine????? these people just SOUND LIKE THEY'RE IN A TV SHOW????? like it sounds like TV dialogue!

I can't explain it

"if time really is repeating, this won't matter" and he kisses her. of course.

maybe less dancing more saving the ship?

they're talking while dancing "he used to brag about robbing a Betazoid bank"

!"a non equilibrial matter state" - a time crystal, which she learned about at the Vulcan science academy. which they haven't been able to perfect, but a 4 dimensional being must have perfected it, according to Burnham

good thing she knew all of this ??????????

IT'S SO BADLY WRITTEN SHIN

WHAT THE FUCK

there's no figuring anything out!

they just already know!!!!!!

cut back to the bridge, wondering where Michael and Tyler are. Mudd appears, playing music

hahahahaha the computer addressed him as Captain Mudd: "I never thought I'd say this, but I'm actually tired of gloating"

he's found a weaponised dark matter ball in Lorca's stash of dangerous shit. and he's blabbing on about it "and if any of you were planning on being heroes - including you, random communications officer man" LOL (the guy just ran up to try to stop him) "you'll find there's very little I don't know."

Tyler and Michael burst out onto the bridge for some reason ????

tried to shoot Mudd, the forcefield is still there ... he chucked the dark matter at Tyler .... who dissolved ....

Mudd: "well that was new"

why would they listen to him? Michael you KNOW IT'S A TIME LOOP

STAMETS WHAT ARE YOU DOING

WHAT

THE

FUCK

he told him to stop, because he can't watch Mudd kill any more people

I PAUSED IT UNTIL I STOPPED FEELING CONFUSED BUT I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER STOP BEING CONFUSED

why

would

tell

Mudd

what kind of plan ....

why did ....

why

kendradaynes Is your brain broken?

aceofwands yes

Stamets gave himself to Mudd????? even though he knew it was a time loop?why would he do that?

Michael has figured out the space whale has a ship in its belly .... with Mudd's crystal energy source in it .....

how .... does Michael know about Stella ???? I can't explain this episode to you any more Shin ... you'd have to watch this nonsense for yourself

she has come to sacrifice herself .... because the Klingons want her more than the ship

"you'll get a lot for this ship, but what would I be worth to them?"

"what's in it for you?" "Lt Tyler" "Lt Tyler is dead" "Not for long" ... and then she ATE A DARK MATTER BALL .... to force him to reset the timeline ....

NO NO NO NO

HOW DOES STAMETS KNOW

WE DIDN'T SEE HIM AGAIN AFTER HE WENT OFF WITH MUDD

SO HOW DID HE KNOW TO TELL MICHAEL HER OWN PLAN

or are we supposed to believe she remembers?

this episode MAKES NO SENSE

has Stamets finally told the Captain? why is he on the bridge

yes ... she did tell them .... everyone there knows and Mudd's confused

Lorca greeted him "Captain Mudd, your chair" - offers his chair

he realised Stamets was "passing on notes"

"don't try to con a con man" "I'm not, I'm negotiating with a business man"

"why would a Federation Captain do that?" "I will not have a repeat of the Boran [sp?] [his past ship]"

this episode is complete rubbish

he's leading Michael and Stamets off to the transporter room to meet the Klingons

lol Stamets has found out about his wife Stella. they found out he's been running from Stella, not to her lol

this episode would have been clever if the time loop wasn't so poorly done!

they rewired the captain's chair to send the message to Stella and her father .... who's come to get him lol

why ... why are they even doing this? they're so obsessed with making a new Star Trek series, why keep bringing in old characters for no reason?

Michael and Tyler waiting for a turbolift, Stamets told them both that in a previous timeline they danced .... they're super awkward

OH LORD

"What I'm feeling is complicated, and strange" "It's okay, I'm not going anywhere”

STOP TELLING US YOUR FEELINGS MICHAEL

I actually think they're really cute? I would usually like so many of these characters! but wow the plots are so. bad.

and it's so clumsy!

holy crap that was bad

oh lord, Saru in the next ep, they're on a planet, there are Klingons and the Admrial being tortured

wow. that's over. and took me ages to watch because I had to stop it so often lol

I have watched a lot of time travel episodes in my decades as a Trekkie (and on other sci fi shows) and that has got to be worst I’ve ever seen! It was SO confusingly done!

they just have no internal consistency!

you have Mudd getting revenge and Stamets working against him ... really really poorly ...

and all of their solutions to the problems just made no sense???

Stamets giving himself up to Mudd???

and then the final solution of them all working together ... it wasn't like in the Next Gen episode I keep thinking of, where they eventually realise they're looping and find the message in Data and it feels like they worked together to solve it

it feels like this show ... cuts corners

it wants to give us the exciting parts and the emotional pay off without actually doing any of the work, is the best way I can think to explain it

it was ... choppy and confused

that sums the show up to be honest.

they went on and on about how they’re telling a big serialised story, but it isn’t even? we’ve had these weird interlude episodes with Sarek and now Mudd where stuff just happens just because? and they keep TELLING us they’re fighting a war but it doesn’t feel like they’re in one!

if they’re going to do serialised season long arcs then they need to do way way better, like I just binge watched 9 episodes of Stranger Things yesterday! I know what a good serial narrative looks like and this is not it!

and if they’re going to do episodic then they need to do way way better

the plot of this was just confused nonsense that was weirdly focused around Michael and Tyler’s relationship more than anything else ... it just feels like they’re mashing a bunch of random rubbish together and hoping it works, rather than like a carefully crafted story on either an episodic OR a serial level!

and now I’m just thinking about how much I want to go watch some fun time loop episodes - like man, give me SG1 stuck in a time loop doing stupid shit any day, at least that was fun AND made sense

#hateblogging #STD #seriously so much hate for this episode #long post #extremely long

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sevenfawm · 5 years

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This past month has sucked...

So this whole month has been a fucking ride, and isn’t done yet. This is really long, but I have to get it out or I’ll explode... To start....we had to move. We didn’t have money to move, and tried to get money, and ended up not having enough money to do much of shit. We used our foodstamps for food, and had to borrow money for gas which has racked up a 300$ bill we won’t be able to pay. We were packed up and ready by the 4th. Desks all taken apart and wrapped up, chairs wrapped up. Bed in a fucking bag and wrapped up. Bed frame taken apart and shoved back in the box. They were supposed to get there on the 4th...they were not there on the 4th...or the 5th...or the 6th...On the 7th they get here. So we had been sleeping on the floor for 3 days. Guy gets here, and stars packing. He is a no-nonsense type of guy, and not the same guy that was supposed to get here on the 4th. Apparently the people who were sharing the truck with us took too much shit, and they had to get someone with a smaller house to move with those other people (because it doesn’t pay to move a single person across the state thanks to gas). So he is no-nonsense. There goes a number sticker on every box and thing, and a sticker with my dads name and number on it. Thankfully they allowed us to share a truck with them considering it wasn’t our fault we had to move (we got back from China with a ton of savings, and stayed with the parents instead of moving where we wanted, and spent all our savings on food for them and gas for doctors appointments. I regret this, but it’s my parents so I couldn’t say no). So its finally 7pm on Friday that we leave. The road there was terrible. So many fucking tolls, which thankfully we had a bag of change that paid for it mostly, and dad paid for the rest. First night was a comfortable motel, not dirty, small beds, but comfortable. Second night was in hell. it smelled like a sewer, and had beds that were so hard I thought I was going to die. We didn’t complain because we were not paying for lodging, and if we would have had to we would have toughed it out in the car for those 5 nights. Third day was a pretty nice place. It was cheaper than sewer motel, and had a pretty comfy bed, a little springy, but at least it was so much cleaner and I could wash the pond scum off my body(it felt like showering with sewer water the night before). Fourth night was a normal place, don't remember it was too tired. Last night was the best. We were in Washington state, and only had a few more hours to drive, and it was the first time in over a week I was able to sleep in a bed with my husband. Remember we had packed up on the 4th, now it was the 12th I believe. We finally get to the house, and the shit hits the fan. We had been joking with my younger sister that we got to choose a room first, since there are two on the bottom floor, and three on the top (master bed, and two small rooms one would be the youngest room and one dads office). My mother flipped shit, and It came out the reason she had been a dick to us at least 3 times in the past 6 months was because I was trans and changing my name. I hadn’t cried like that in ages, I almost stayed in the car that night. I told Leon I wish she would have just admitted she hated me, and that she treated my brother like royalty when he lived with them. Leon told dad....dad told mom...got an apology...didn’t speak to them for a week until I got another more heartfelt apology, and was able to talk about it.

That was just the beginning to a shitty month. They were supposed to bring our stuff in 7-12 business days. They said they would be there the 12-23 at the latest. Then on the 23 we get told the 24-31...the 26th rolls around and they say it won't be till the 1-5th...on the 4th we get called and told they will be her on Friday the 5th or Saturday the 6th... So if you’re counting thats 13 days late from the final first date they said, and in the contract it says if they are over their first quote, they owe a discount...add that on to the 3 days they were late to pick up. Friday comes, and we get a call from the driver, he sounds no-nonsense like the one before who was just packing the truck, and says he just got into Washington, and so he would be here Saturday from 2-4pm, and that he had one appointment before us... They called around 5pm yesterday and said that the appointment before us took hell of a lot longer than they thought it would. The person allegedly lived in an apartment with one broken elevator, and one slow one. So instead of taking maybe 4 hours tops, it took like 8 or some shit like that. So dad's like whatever ok what time will you come tomorrow. They say between 9-10. Today arrives. I didn't sleep because of anxiety, finally fell asleep around 8 or so, and maybe slept 30-60 minutes. Around 9:30 I am woken to the sound of a truck. I'm ecstatic, so I honestly passed out after a few moments. Anxiety was probably sated and like ok go sleep. I sleep for a few hours and wake up around 1 to find out. No. We don't have our stuff. Apparently they took 4 things out of the truck, and then were like "oh yes you have to pay before we finish." So dad is like ok lets process the payment. They try, and its denied because the bank doesn't allow over 10k taken out via card at a time. So he's like ok can we process it as two payments. The fuckers said they didn't have anymore paperwork(since they have to refile it as two payments with more paperwork) then had the audacity to get pissed at us saying that we wasted their time today and wanted to be paid for it, and that we would have to pay a 700$ storage fee, and that it was our fault that they didn't come yesterday(no idea how they got that idea since we had no problem with them coming late yesterday). And the fuckers were trying to actually put stuff BACK into the truck! So dad basically yelled and told them to fuck off... So still no shit... I want to cry I'm so tired of sleeping on the ground... its been a month since i've slept in my own bed. Its been 26 days since I've slept on an actual bed. And 30 days since I've slept in a bed with my husband. The only bed on our trip that didn't suck was the one that I was able to sleep in the same bed as Leon on the literal last day of our trip. On top of it all our Christmas was without a tree or things, and thankfully our present was each a license since Washington is notorious for being the most expensive now for licenses. We spent New Years with Leons friends, and reminded that we had no money because after getting drunk at their house(their treat for food and drinks) they wanted to go to a bar that had free pool and “no cover charge” not for New Years, and we had to leave because my anxiety was through the roof, and I couldn’t even speak I was so uncomfortable. We still have to come up with another 150$ or so to change our cars plates, and come up with the 300$ to pay back what we borrowed for gas. So we have no money, I can’t work because I haven’t gotten my mental issues fixed yet, and I’m waiting here to see a new psychiatrist and the fucking way they work here is so strange and I’m so uncomfortable. Leon got into college, and might have some work study, but that won’t be enough to pay all that back...so like we were before we are in the hole, only now we are missing our bed, and our chairs, and our desks... My depression has been so bad I slept for a 4 solid days when we got here and didn’t eat a single thing those 4 days...Leon forced me to drink. I’ve been tired more than usual, and I just want to kill myself so badly. I’ve tried asking for money on here, to no avail, but I’ll put my ko-fi just in case someone might be able to donate. I know everyone has their issues, but I swear this is a new low for us since myself and my husband met in 2010... http://ko-fi.com/sevenfawm I'm so tired...so fucking tired...help....

#tw depression #tw suicidal thoughts #tw suicide #long #tw #kofi #me #probably delete later #fml #help

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filetoftheday · 6 years

Text

Two weeks out...

I could sit here and write about Colombia but at this point it all seems like a dream. Yes, it was great to be with my friends. Yes, you should go on the Pablo Escobar tour in Medellin and Guatape to see the lakes. You should also stay in Medellin for a full week, or month, as it deserves. Cartagena is the star of the show if you like beaches, but Medellin should never be treated like a backup act.

However, instead of sitting here and telling you wear to eat, drink, party and tan (yes, I can make a guide- don’t worry) I would rather finish where I started.

Two weeks out…

If you don’t remember my first blog post I wrote about how anxious I was be leaving for remote year. I wanted to be settled. I didn’t want to answer any more questions about what I was doing, what remote year was or how I got it approved by work. Now, two weeks out I don’t want to get further away from my trip as I don’t want to ever have to stop talking about it. I am going to be like the 40-year-old who still talks about his or her glory days in college (lets be real, I will probably be that 40-year-old).

Three pictures of me being a “digital douchebag” as they call it, aka working from anywhere. Sorry mom and dad, I didn’t make up the name. But somehow, I was able to exceed sales goals from places like this...

And this...

And even Igazu falls in the middle of the jungle #HOTSPOTFORTHEWIN

I have reentered NYC society and to be completely honest, it hasn’t been easy. I don’t know whats going on with pop culture (ok, lets be honest, I am not #woke and never knew what was going on with pop culture) and I feel like I have regressed a bit. WHAT DO THESE NEW YORKERS TALK ABOUT? THE KARDASHIANS? THEIR JOBS? I remember distinctly having a freak out at a boy (yes boy, not a man) at a pregame right after I was fired from Yelp when he asked me where I worked. I screamed back at him, “can’t you ask me what music I like or what I do in my free time, why does it matter where I work?” Although I don’t feel as aggressively now and I am secure in my job, I still think it is annoying that New Yorkers measure status on your job and talk about this so often. Ok, end rant.

Anyway, besides for only wanting to talk about Remote Year and forgetting how to talk about anything else I have noticed some other things that I love and hate about New York. So while these ideas are fresh, I figured I’d jot them down.

Before I left in the fall everything was magical. It was almost like springtime everyday (not weather wise, metaphorically). I noticed the trimming on the sides of brownstones, the parking man who always said good morning to me and the birds chirping in Gramercy Park. I know this sounds romanticized, but its true. Upon return my first week was grey and dull. Literally, yes…the weather sucks here. But figuratively as well. Why is my only activity going to Equinox on Saturday? Why am I not horseback riding in the foothills of the mountainside in Argentina, mountain biking with the guys or jetting off to Mendoza, Machu Picchu, Igazu Falls or any of the other places I had the pleasure of going to?

Me and my friend Arielle, doing an adventure in NYC (taking a walking tour of downtown and seeing the new Ground Zero area...)

Why are people in such a rush all of the time? I swear a New Yorker would upstream an old couple to get a cab they needed. I used to hate how slow South America was (and still do hate that it takes approximately 10 minutes to get water at any restaurant there) but maybe we can take a page out of their book and look around and slow down.

I also got a lot of comments upon my return home about how refreshed I looked and how calm I was. I think everyone here truly needs a month vacation. It was sad for me to see people looking miserable, pale and tired on the commute in my first few days back.

Inevitably, life after a trip goes back to normal. You begin to appreciate routine, your health (way better 2 weeks out), the friends and family that you so dearly missed and wished to share the experience with, and even maybe the New Yorker attitude that you somewhat lost. It is the thing or two that you take from the trip and remember that makes you a better person. So what have I taken away from all this?

A few larger lessons:

Nothing is permanent- don’t let a lease confine you to a space. You can always travel or move if you wish

America is doing it wrong- everyone else in the world values travel, and encourages it. Why do I only have 12 days of PTO a year while my Australian, German and British friends get nearly a month and are told to travel after uni?

Live like a local- My favorite memories are from the places I actually lived in for a full month, not those places I just went to for a few days (Below are a few pictures from my last days living in Peru)

Smaller lessons:

Don’t rush- if you don’t make the subway is coming there is no need to push an old lady over just to make it. A next one is always around the corner

Work shouldn’t be the only measurement of status- have interesting conversations when meeting new people

I don’t like seasons- if I never saw snow again I wouldn’t be sad, at all. Summer is good enough for me and I am a happier person with vit D in my life.

So for all my friends who are even thinking about traveling or going on remote year, please don’t let this somewhat depressing post stop you (#allthefeels). For a wise man once said, “nothing that made you smile should ever make you cry.” If i didn’t change, grow and appreciate all of this, including coming back, it wouldn’t have been worth the ride.

Remote Year Kubali at our farewell weekend:

A bad quality pic, with a nice quote. Me working, yes I did work, in the Santiago workspace:

Finally, thanks Yext for allowing me to embark on this adventure. And thanks to my parents for always teaching me to advocate for myself to allow me to get what I want. You never know until you ask...and hey, you may just end up on the trip of a life time :)

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joisapig · 7 years

Text

Looking Back and Moving Forward

With the new year resolution made, my life was back on track. So much freedom and happiness in me and I feel like the luckiest woman on earth to have so many close and loved ones supporting me.

¾ of 2016 had been rough from the beginning till after the break up. However, it was also a relief that I got myself out of that shit hole which I kept falling back in the last quarter. It wasn’t easy, and I wouldn’t say I was proud of myself either but I managed to get out of it.

And was I glad I did.

I become the person I am and do things I want to. The experiences were amazing and they filled me to the fullest.

Right after the rough stint, I went to Malacca with my brother and his family in mid Aug. They welcomed me with open arms and the “self-pitiful” me went along and was pulling a long face the whole three days because I was supposedly heart-broken. However, having family around is the best thing ever. They left you alone to your moods but still tried to be there at the same time. For that, I’m grateful.

Estelle invited me to try pole dance with her. At first I was skeptical, I ain’t got no dancing bones in me! Been there, done that! 4 years in modern dance in secondary school. And I still feel stiff as fuck. I suspect it could be my shoulders know. Like cmon, relax man~ But, I still went for it. I joined kfit. What’s there to lose? Nothing. I needed to keep fit anyway. Tried many studios, tbh it was fucking fun. I’ve always love doing new things, more of like challenging myself. Imagine hanging on the pole and doing some awesome tricks but still looking graceful. Well, I can try that, cant I? But, I was err “shy” or should I say lazy? And this is what Estelle told me, “I’m going US the next month and you should really go for classes yourself instead of only when with me. Because this will then prove that you genuinely like it and you aren’t going because I am.” Woah. What?! That was a given challenge. Hey woman, I love it so I’m gonna show you that I really do. And that’s when I did. Went for pole classes myself, made new friends and brought friends in. Fun as fuck. And Estelle returned from US amused and proud of my improvements.

Phuket in Sept was next with liyuan for 5D4N. It was amazing. I said I want to surf and she went right along with me. That was fun and I absolutely enjoyed myself that we went again! It was liberating to do things for myself. I had time. Time for myself which was lost when I didn’t know how to manage.

Then Bangkok in Oct was next with lovely Huiyi and Zhimin. Huiyi’s mentor tagged along and I must say I was a little sad that they didn’t have anything going on. I really wish for her to have someone who’s not him in her life instead. Then there will be future ahead. But Bangkok was fun. I shopped so much! Bought stuff for myself too! I was happpppy!

And in the very same month, I got a surprise from my manager that I’ve got a salary adjustment for my work. It was great news because I felt at least now I’m earning the “right” amount in comparison to others in the society. I love my job. I love IT. And to be recognized for my effort was encouraging because this is a company which values its people. I’m blessed.

In Nov, I’ve decided to join an all girls’ darts league. It was a great decision made. Tiring as it was, I got to meet many people and gained league experiences. It was challenging and for the first few games, I was nervous. I always wish that I can focus. It’s like I am a 3 minutes person. Ooo, I love this, I’m gonna do this and excel in it. Then, I lose focus and it’s gone. But this league, it keeps me going. I didn’t have a choice. It was a commitment. And because I have teammates which I don’t want to “let down”, I practice. And when you practice, you improve. And it is still fun to me. When you hit the bulls and triples, the sounds coming from the dart board exhilarate me.

Yixuan broke up in Dec. She said I seem so happy and doing things that I like which made her see why her relationship wasn’t working out. I don’t know how her relationship was. But I have always felt that relationships starting out since secondary schools or junior colleges lasting till now seems to be like couples only having each other. This is what I see from social media which I could be wrong but the couples are usually hanging out with only each other. And that isn’t healthy I suppose. Sometimes, we need friends around us too. But of course, always set your priorities right. I’m really glad for her though. Super glad. Not the break up but her changes. She is so much happier now and amazing. She was the matured one in our clique. Now there’s this wild side of her appearing and full of life. Spontaneous but hopefully, still able to keep herself safe.

So past 2016 after the break up, I told myself that I would stay single for a year but I have friends telling me there’s no such thing. When love comes, it comes.

Even though I said I would be single, I did go dating around. I was just thinking like hey you know what, I have to meet people. Meeting people is interesting. You get to read them, find out what you like or dislike. I know I don’t have to meet guys and I don’t need any more new friends, but I would wanna know what’s good for me too. I’ve always wanted to settle down but I find out that hey, it doesn’t work that way. You don’t want to settle down then you meet anyone and that could be the person for you. No. Because you don’t settle. I want to meet the person who makes me want to settle down with. The idea is different now.

Truth be told, I’ve probably met about 7 new persons from tinder. None matters of course. But sometimes, the funny thing in life comes least expected. Met up with Chelsea and the rest as usual to have meal in HV and we were just talking about life when she teased me about liking Indians and wanting to intro her friend to me. I was like nah, not interested luh. I don’t like Indians specifically but I like nice people. And liking nice people don’t mean I have a thing for anyone. So after the meal here and there, apparently there was a plan to go clubbing and her Indian friend was going along. And that’s when I met him.

Okay, cute. Okay, tall. Hello beer belly. Hello smokes. Eek. Nopes! Haha! So I formed these in my head. But he suddenly became fucking cute to me that night in the wee morning which must be due to the alcohol. Entwined his fingers around mine to lead me in the club was interesting as I dont usually do that with strangers. But then again, my clubbing experiences could be counted with two hands back then. Haha.

Whatever it is, somehow, he texted me the following evening and we began texting everyday. I would say our texts were purely friends. Just talking and I didn’t read much in them which of course I shouldn’t. He seemed nice but I didn’t feel that we had a lot to talk about because we were only getting to know each other. But when we started to self disclose in our meetings, it felt different like in a nice way.

And in someway, he slowly grew on me like a constant. I can tell him anything and I don’t have to worry what fucks he thinks about me. I can be me and I am me. I feel comfortable around him and it was nice yet scary at the same time. I don’t know what the fuck I was getting myself into. I really don’t want history to repeat itself and so I really have to protect myself. I am cool headed. I have to be. I was a diver. Not literally. But someone who falls head over heels over a human quickly and stays devoted when there is supposedly chemistry or sparks. I can’t be that person anymore. This time, I need to be in control of myself.

He told me he likes me and asked me to go The Canopi with him but I was afraid. I don’t want to get hurt again in any way know. And somehow, when he mentioned Taiwan (I love Taiwan), I thought hey that seems fine.

Side track (so me!), I went to Bangkok with my family and friends in early Jan. Months filled with travels make me happy. All the exciting line ups. I feel like a free bird. Oh and I joined a new mixed darts league too as the previous one ended. This bunch of new people is just as fun and lovely!

Anyway back to Taiwan, I went there with him this Feb. It kinda changed things. We grew even closer and I would say we had fun together. Good fun. And I really enjoyed his company. He’s respectful and have amazing self-control there. Thumbs up gentleman. And Kenting was fucking amazing. Especially that one full day we had where we e-scootered the area and ended the night off with the perfect suggestion from him to look at stars together on the beach in the night. I’ve always wanted to do stuff like that and I get to with him. Seems like our travel plans just worked out and flowed when we are together. For now I would say as it is just the beginning. I daren’t look into the future just as yet.

A week plus after Taiwan, we had our first fight kinda too and he just bolted. It felt like when things got bad, the supposedly close person to you would leave. It felt like people only stay when time is good. That feeling sucks big time but we did get to know one another a little more than before. I could have just fucked it and moved on with life initially but me being me, I needed answers and clear cut ones too so I messaged him first. Felt like a loser but as usual I wanted closure. What was the point of closure though when someone doesn’t want me already and yet I kept questioning why. No means no, simple as that. But if he bolts again, I don’t think I want to deal with it because it hurts I hope I am firmer and stronger now than before.

Anyway we had our first staycation together on 25 March. It was the best stay I ever had. I felt so at ease with him just being me. Saying shit and doing silly things with him knowing that he will not view me indifferently after. It was liberating and exciting much. Lovely meal at TheLab. He picks good meal choices yet he doesn’t know. Heh. And all he talks about was McSpicy, no lettuce add cheese only. Teehee. And jacuzzi was awesome. There were lights and he filled the jacuzzi up with bath salts and shower gel. So many bubbles and so foamy! We drank and danced a little. His dance moves are so frigging adorable. Haha!! I love it when he seems so carefree and happy. Okay fine, he drank a lot more than me. Ha!

Oh and when he winks with one side of his lips inching upwards, that is fucking hot and cute. There’s this cheeky kid in him that makes me smiles and I just want to squish him so bad. Those big eyes staring into mine. I can lose myself in his eyes all day and night.

Mid March was Hongkong trip with my JC clique. So blessed to be able to hang with them the 9 years of friendship and still counting. That aside, all I can say was boy am I glad someone didn’t show up due to work. Because by then, I only want to be seeing him and none other.

Oh and I’m rubbing my feet now too. So smoooth.

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