#comment rb

[peachesofteal]

that recent non canon thing of darling + soapghost.. WHEWWWWW

Right?! It’s been eating away at my brain a little. I hinted a bit about Johnny wanting kids when they were shopping for a new place, but canon Simon and Johnny would never swap Darling’s bc or do anything like this.

But, it is fun to think about…

18+ Minors DNI: Dubious consent. Explicit sex, breeding kink.

If they were just a little bit more lost to the darkest sides of themselves, just a little bit more twisted up in their heads and their hearts, they’d hatch a plan to swap your pills. Johnny would keep you tied up on the couch, half swaddled in a blanket and enclosed in his arms, distracting you with sweet kisses and gentle touch, lulling you into a relaxed state while Simon makes the swap as quick as he can. They’ve already decided, they won’t lose you. They’ll do whatever they need to do, to keep you with them, for as long as they live.

That kind of thinking is what brings them together in bed that night, with you spread out between them. It’s what has Johnny buried in you so deep he’s pressing against your cervix while you’re bent over two pillows that sit beneath the small of your back, lips mouthing along Simon’s cock, a fine distraction, as he pulls your legs by your knees back towards your shoulders, spreading you wide so Johnny can fuck his come into you as deep as possible. Johnny fucks into wildly, chasing his orgasm, chasing his dreams of a baby with you, with Simon, his body desperate to plug you as full of his come as he can, and then locking himself against you so not a single drop can spill out.

When you come, cunt clenching down around him, they both praise you, eager to wring as many orgasms from your body as possible, old wives tales telling them this will make it easier, will help it take faster.

“Fuck, darling. What a good girl, coming on my cock.” He hisses between clenched teeth, composure completely shredded. He fills you with a shudder, eyes clenched tight as you gasp, body trembling when he curls himself to notch his nose against your cheek, breathing heavily and whispering sweet assurances in your ear.

When they switch, you giggle, hazy and content, wiggling away from your spot until Johnny stills you with a soothing hand along your stomach.

“Hold still, that’s it.” He coaxes, stroking your skin while Simon settles between your legs. He can’t help but bend forward to press the softest kiss against your belly, next to where Johnny’s hand sits. He nuzzles his cheek against his fingers, and you sigh, like you’re in on their little secret.

“We love you.” He croons, and you tuck your bottom teeth between your lip. “We love you so much, darling girl.” You begin to say it back, but he pushes into you, his movements slick with the aftermath of Johnny’s orgasm and yours, pushing him along until there’s a fire raging in his gut and his toes are curling. You’re moaning, squeezing down around him, like you want him to fill you, breed you, give you his baby and he can’t resist it, visions of you heavy carrying their child sparking across his mind like he’s seeing stars until he’s coming with a shout.

And it most likely it doesn’t even take that time.

[flightlessangelwings]

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[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

I’ve read what if (part 2) yesterday and I’ve actually been re-reading a bunch of your old stories which is why I didn’t have time to send you a message yesterday 😅🙈 (btw.. roommate!paz is now once again living rent free in my mind)

Now, about what if: I’m just gonna jump right into talking about some of my favourite parts. Mind you, this is a non-conclusive list because (sadly) I can’t just quote every sentence back at you and tell you why I love it or find it funny and relatable, etc. because then this would probably take forever and be an even longer message than it already is 🙈

So here we go:

Somehow that kind of request made you even more nervous. […] You stepped against him, ignoring your shaking hands as you stood on your tiptoes and ran your nose over his neck. Yeah that is way more nerve-wrecking! Just being all up close to his neck? Intimate as fuck (where can I sign up?)

your nose brushing against the spot just under his ear and he groaned. The sound, low and deep, made you tremble. listen may, we’ve barely just started and I’m already going insane 😭 10/10 would love to make this man groan just by doing that.

Paz smelled so much better now that he had a hint of you on him, you found, and you made a mental note to keep up this scenting practice for as long as he would let you. oh reader, I get it. I, too, would fall in love with that man after knowing him for like a day. (Also love the lowkey possessiveness)

“So … no sex then,” you concluded, trying to keep your sadness out of your voice. „Disappointed?“ OH I KNOW HE FELT SMUG ABOUT THAT! The duality of this man to be a big softie and the cockiest man alive? 10/10.

“You are coming to my bunk tonight. You will bring nothing but your softest robe, your favourite snack. I want you naked when I arrive, understand? Naked and waiting for me. […]“ yeah I’m dead now. Following instructions has never been this easy actually. Also the snack part? Big teddy bear man. That’s why I love your Paz.

By now, you knew your friend long enough to know when he was teasing you. And the twinkle in his eyes told you that Chants was in teasing mode. “He is quite big, isn’t he?” way too relatable. if your friends don’t these you when you’re having the biggest crush on a man, are they even your friends? I can’t even be mad at chants cause friendly teasing your friends is funny as fuck 🙈

“I’m just saying,” he shrugged, “I don’t think any of the other alphas left their capes for their calmers. Maybe something is different about you two?” Oh he is in LOVE! Look at the two idiots just being down bad for each other, now they just need to tell the other.

daydreaming about what it could be like to be Paz Vizsla’s omega. Me too, reader. Me too.

You squeaked in surprise when you sank in way more than you had expected. Testing the softness, you found that not only was his bedding incredibly soft, no, but the mattress was much softer than the standard issue as well. Inevitably you smiled at the realization that Paz Vizsla just kept on surprising you. Your big warrior was a big teddy bear. yeah he is! I love the idea of establishing how soft he is via his choice of mattress. Also, there is something so deeply intimate about learning about a person by being in their room. And paz letting reader into his private space without him even being there? You can just tell they are really comfortable with each other 🥺

what if you accidentally had walked into someone else's room who had the same arrangement with their calmer? always funny when there’s a sentence where my brain goes „haha, my anxiety would say that too!“

“Believe it or not I actually like soft things, too.” JUST SAY THAT YOU ARE IN LOVE ALREADY. …Maybe I’m reaching but my brain went „oh soft things .. like LOVE and reader 🤨“

“Maybe I can see your nests, one day,” he suggested lowly, his mouth brushing over your jaw and down your neck. how do you expect me to be normal when I read this?? 🫠

“Someone too shy to say it?” he teased you, the slight mocking undertone making you wetter than you wanted to admit. How did this man have this effect on you? Strong, lovely and in charge? The perfect man actually. Never thought I’d ever appreciate a mocking undertone but damn…

“Now be a good girl for me and play with your tits,” he instructed, his tone leaving no room for questions and you followed. OKAAY, that’s one way to effectively change the conversation 🙈🫠

“Use your words.” Hot. No further notes.

“You just love to embarrass me, don’t you?” […] „I do,” he agreed and could feel his breath on your folds, the breadth of his shoulder between your legs as he slowly thrust his fingers in you, “Something about corrupting a sweet innocent omega like you makes my cock so hard.” I think I might actually never recover from this story. This whole story will probably be stuck on my head for forever now.

Also, hitting me with „“Look at that,” he marvelled, “Yesterday you weren’t sure whether you could come on my fat cock, and now you are begging me to let you come on my tongue.” Another well-placed opened-mouthed kiss against your clit and you broke apart.“ and then „Are you crying, omega?” […] Fuck,” he murmured, his warm forehead falling onto your lower belly, “that shouldn’t turn me on as much as it does.” within like 3 paragraphs??? I don’t even know what to say, this is making me feel so many emotions!!

“You did so good for me,” he repeated affectionately, “’m so proud of you, sweetheart. Using your words, following my instructions.” Again, I don’t know what to say besides.. 🫠

“I want a kiss,” was all you could say and he chuckled, leaning in to give you a kiss that had you sighing against him, melting even more into the sheets. Idk why specifically this part (cause the smut was amazing) but this just gets me so much every time I reread it🥺🥺🥺

And despite the lack of words, it seemed to work.LOOK AT THEIR CONNECTION, THEY DONT NEED WORDS 🥺😭

This was how he was, it occurred to you, that Paz Vizsla did not need to secure his dominance in any sudden way because he was secure in his dominance. It was never even a question for him whether he would be able to pleasure you. oh i hope you know how good you are at writing because I went „oh yeah, 100%. Literally every action by this man so far has been proof of this“

You would let this man do anything to you. if he’s anything like the way you write him? Yes.

“Say it.” if you could see the way I’m blushing right now, I think I would have to disappear forever

„You didn’t take me to the negotiations this morning,” you stated, unable to help the insecurity that scratched at your heart. GOOD JOB GIRLY. Bring back the topic he made you drop by seducing you, now that you can think again!

“Make sure you are okay being seen with a Mandalorian like me.“ okay, what if I start to cry?

And the “Can I kiss you again?” after he gets reassurance? 🥺🥺 I love when characters ask for physical intimacy when they can’t put things into words. Which.. understandable cause words are hard.

So, to sum up my thoughts: 10/10 this is amazing! literally had to stop myself again from including more quotes because I can’t just keep saying „hot“ every two seconds. Actually need these two to realise they are in love and act on it.

So yeah, I hope you had a nice start of the week! Cause I certainly had one thanks to this story

Oh hello! Believe me, I completely understand - I am currently obsessed with roommate!Paz and working on three little things about him at the same time (when, really, I should focus on the last part of What If 😂)

Thank you so much for your lovely comments, I am so so happy that you liked this part! Paz really is just my dream combination of a big, dangerous giant of a man that is secretly very soft for his love 🥺 (That and his skill for dirty talk is 👀🥵)

[toxicanonymity]

toxic! the latest chapter of raider joel is 👨‍🍳💋

ur writing is amazing and so complex! ur so talented!

this kiss?!?!?!? and basically making love to her like WOW!!!!! I had tears 🥹

was so good to see the two pov's as well

(ive never really been into the collar idea but im keeping an open mind cos you know.. it's for our own good) 😭😭😭

x

Thank you so much! 🥹🙏🖤

( it's, like, basically a leather choker 😅 📿 )

[roosterbruiser]

this is something I've personally been wondering!

I personally am a huge supporter of comment reblogs and think it's a fantastic way to interact with my readers. however, I do worry that I am clogging up people's feeds with them!

[brummiereader]

Unchained melody is so sad and I’ve only read one chapter! i love it so much

Hi anon! I know 😭, poor Y/N i never give her a break.

...☝️our dear girl on a daily basis to me. Thank you for this sweet message anon, I'm thrilled you enjoyed the first part ❤️!

[peterthepark]

i came so hard to meddle about how do you write like that

i write like that bc im a ⓒ slut

im also very honored to be of service <3

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[catmask]

actually, i did want to ask you all - a commonly shared sentiment about character creators in games or dressup games online is there's very frequently a lack of black hairstyles.

so it made me curious - what are some black hairstyles you wish would be included more in character creators/dressup games? or ones you get really happy to see are included?

[call-sign-shark]

I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR TD TO MAKE ITS WAY ON YOUR BLOG 💗💗💗💗

I DIDN’T EXPECT PEOPLE TO BE SO ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT AND NOW I’M KICKING MY FEET. It hesitated a lot tbh but people are big enough to decide whether they wanna read or ignore it I guess 🤷‍♀️ So yeah, since I’m working on chapterIll be also slowly uploading it here 😉🖤

[enderspawn]

cleo reacts to joel’s new glow ink store (VOD)

[maybege]

Hi, May! How are you?

Okay so first things first: I’m sorry about taking so long to do this! But I FINALLY got some time to write down my thoughts for what if (part 1)! Every time I tried to sit down things got hectic again and it’s been annoying me endlessly, cause I’ve been looking forward to this for like 2 weeks now.

I’ve decided to split this up into multiple posts because it got a bit long. I hope that’s okay! 😅 and I think I should also warn you that I’m not the best of putting into words how stories make me feel, but I hope this is getting my feelings across anyway.

First of all: mixing the Calmer AU with a fix it AU? Sign me the fuck up! (Side note: I am almost over what happened in season 3 but only because I’ve lowkey started to view their Paz as the fanon!version of your Paz 😅😅🙈)

Also, another sidenote: I love when your stories feature your characters like chants and briggs because my brain always goes „oooh I know that name“ (same goes for Dreks… who will forever be a dick in every universe). (Part 1/5)

Putting the rest of the asks under a cut because I am LOSING MY MIND THIS IS SO SWEET:

Okay okay, but now for the actual commentary:

“Maybe because they will use any chance they get to exploit the innocent omegas of other clans.”You frowned, not liking any of Axe’s implications. Were omegas of Djarin’s tribe not innocent? Did he think you were incapable of defending yourself?” EXACTLY. AXE NEEDS TO SHUT UP! I was so happy that you immediately noted that cause i legit immediately went „what are you trying to imply, man 🤨“

And about Paz.. him immediately being offended and also „What startled you most, however, was how big that man was.“?? 10/10 no notes, immediately the perfect vibe

And then, „When you heard your name called, it was like you were in the clouds. Far away from everything and everyone. Maybe you could still say no, maybe you could just go and disappear forever. […] What if you weren’t good at the whole claiming thing at all and your failure resulted in a war that was to last centuries?”That is such A MOOD. I, too, would sign up for something and then when it’s happening, realise that it’s real and have my anxiety kick in hard. and the way you describe the feeling is soo realistic??? My anxiety would yell those exact things 😅 (No seriously, I texted my bestie the other day that I’m not prepared for my tutoring session because what if people actually show up 🤦‍♀️)

“Paz Vizsla was a warrior through and through and it showed in the way he was sitting too. He took up almost all the space on the little bench and even when he was sitting down and you were standing up, he seemed so much bigger than you?” HOT. that’s it, that’s my notes on that. 10/10, the size kink for fictional men is clearly a part of my personality now and I am okay with that.

“taken aback by how gentle he sounded. He did not look gentle. He looked dangerous”. Again, 10/10. The appeal of someone looking tough but being a secret teddy bear is honestly always amazing and I love that it’s happening here. (2/5)

“I don’t bite, you know?” “I suppose the helmet would make that very hard,”. THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOUR WRITING 😭 (reason number 1 of ♾️). This genuinely made me laugh out loud. Like, it was funny and also immediately made me go “don’t say that to the intimidating guy, you dumbass 😂”

And then the “Do you not think I should know the name of the omega I am about to make very happy?”???. OKAAAY, no reason to be so cocky my guy. I do love the banter in your stories though. It makes the connection between your characters feel so fun, dynamic and honestly real.

And then you immediately hit me with “as an endearment,” […] “Not because I won't know your name.” I’m pretty sure if you listen closely enough, you can hear me swoon from all the way over here in Vienna, cause I’m now a puddle that is yearning for this man.

And just generally, I love how you make Paz so soft and considerate. (Like making sure that reader is actually fully on board with this). Because that is a big strong warrior and I feel like the obvious way would be to make him just cocky and this intimidating badass (which isn’t a bad thing, if someone wants to write that!) but you just make him feel so grounded and comfortable as a character.

Also, I’m rereading this in order to pull quotes from the text, and I just got hit with “are you wet” and DAMN MAY. I knew that was coming but the mood shift still hit me like it the first time. Again, 10/10.

“Maybe a little bit,” that’s such A LIE! I just know that reader is melting on the inside!

Also, I love when these ‘downplaying moments’ immediately get followed by getting a description of how it definitely affects reader more than they are letting on in that moment. It makes me feel like I have fun inside knowledge. (3/5)

PAZ WITH TATTOOS! PAZ WITH TATTOOS! I LOVE YOUR MIND.

“Shocked at your own daydreams, you tried to focus instead on what you could see and not the images your brain came up with.” Me too, reader. Me too. Very relatable.

“Stars,” he hummed, thick fingers settling on your tongue and pushing down, “I think we are going to have a lot of fun, aren’t we, omega?” genuine question… are you trying to kill me?

I was gonna comment on the next couple sentences as well but I cannot put into words how this makes me feel 🫠

“No one is watching us,” he assured you, pushing his fingers back in your mouth, “No one is looking at you, omega. Wanna know how I know?” […] Because everybody knows I don’t share […]” May, I may not have the words or the knowledge to give actual writing feedback to anyone but I hope you’re aware that your writing is incredible. Because this has me HOOKED.

AND THE “Thank the stars it was you,” he whispered, running his wet fingers over your lips, “I hoped it would be you.” don’t mind me, I’m just crying over here because this is the softest thing ever and I love gentle, sweet men more than anything 😭 and the reassurance that follows like three paragraphs later?? Such a sweet vulnerable moment between Paz and reader that manages the balance between smut and sweetness so well

The trope of “what if it won’t fit?” gf x “I will make it fit” bf? Made for Paz and I will stand by that statement. And just… the smut? I can’t quote it here because it makes me blush and stare at the screen too much but damn… I love your writing so much 😭

And lastly, the last paragraph: nothing better than having the gentle giant calling his partner “love”🥺 (4/5)

Okay, so this was my (not so) condensed review of the new story. I had to try very hard to not just quote every line and tell you why I love it and why I think it’s works so well 😅

Anyway, final thoughts because this is soo long already:

10/10. I genuinely love your writing and this story is just another example why I love it. The way you write makes me actually experience the emotions while reading and be completely submersed in the story. Also, I am not at all a reader of romance novels (or generally books where romance is the main plot), but if you were to ever write a full on romance novel (or any book for that matter), I promise I would be the first person in line to buy it and tell everyone about it. Just like I will always be excited to read any story you want to share here on tumblr/ao3! You’re truly one of my favourite authors and I hope you know that your work will always be appreciated 🧡🧡🧡 (5/5)

___ HOw dare you ask me how I am doing when this basically made me cry in public 🥺😭 Reading this is EVERYTHING and just reminds me every time why I love to share my writing with you all. It made my entire weekend!!!! I am so happy you liked and I am so so so so SO lucky to have people liek you engage with my little ramblings on the internet 🥺

[riaki]

ur highschool bully gojo was chefs kiss 💋 what do u think about them going to the same college and taking the same classes?? and the reader sitting next/talking to some other guy and satoru gets jealous?? arwahhhshdhshshs so many possibilities, i hope u continue writing it!!

hi nonnie !! thank you so much :) this is ur official part 2 ! i was struggling to think up some possibilities but this helped a lot :oo | read part 1 here ! -> cw: swearing, jealousy, i let it get fic length oops

(former) highschoolbully!gojo on the brain again… like. when you end up seeing him again however many months later, and you can tell that he’s changed. it’s not like its immediately obvious to anyone who doesn’t really know him like you (used to); but he’s a little softer-spoken and his smiles seem nine times more genuine. it’s not a hundred percent; the kind that really lights up his face instead of just barely falling short of his stark blue eyes, but it's something.

of course, you have nothing to base it off of, because when you do inevitably see him again it's the very definition of meet ugly.

college is a new frontier, but its also a clean slate. its your first time going into something so new without your old bestfriend at your side, but some faint flickering thought reminds you that it might be better that way. but the universe is against you from the very first day, when youre gettin yourself some coffee from the same chain you did the morning of that fateful presentation so many moons ago. you're too busy thinking to yourself what kind of strange parting ritual it is to relive your trauma to notice the lanky, white-haired boy who hits his head on the chiming bell over the doorway. people are giggling around you n sighing dreamily but youre too deep in the music pumping through your headphones to notice and your eyes are glued to the class schedule on your phone, trying to ensure you dont get lost on the first day when—

you blink and your ass is flat on the dirty floor of the coffee shop, and the first thing you register is that your stomach is soaked and burning. you'd spilled your coffee. it takes you a moment to realize, but when you do you're pissed. so you quickly get to your feet, trying to reign in what little of your ego you have left to give the offender who bumped into you a piece of your mind as you look up, then..

how unlucky do you have to be?

just like that, satoru's slid himself back into your life, after ramming through its locked gates. you forget that he always forgets the point of keys, both when it comes to his apartment (which you still have the spare key of in case of emergencies), and the door to your heart. to rub salt in the wound, the only thing that's stained with your coffee order are his shoes, which look like they cost three weeks of your old job salary, but it's all over your shirt. of course it is. because why not? make it look like you tripped and fell into a patch of mud on your way to the lecture hall and tack on an unwelcome reunion with your ex-bestfriend.

to you, it's like the cloud of gloom from your highschool youth has resettled over your head like a swarm of gnats on a dreary, hot summer day. the stars always seem to skew and misalign themselves for you. but for satoru, the stars have handed him one of those huge swirly lollipops that you only ever see being paraded about by toddlers. he recovers almost instantly, trading the burn on his feet and the way it sours your expression like he's just squirted pure citric acid into your throat for a pleasant burn of his own on his cheeks. but it's whatever. girls seem to like it when he blushes, for some reason. he won't question it, if it works on the only one he cares about.

he holds his hand out, ready to help you out like the good samaritan he's become— and it's like a real burn to his heart this time when you ignore it and stand up on your own, refusing to look up and meet his pleading gaze. might as well have taken an iron stoker right out of the fire and jabbed him with it. but he's gojo satoru! he won't be defeated by this one mere, maybe very significant reunion. he's got stamina.

so he offers to buy you a new drink, feels his heart sink when you shake your head (can't even spare a little 'no' in his direction), and talks enough for the both of you when you leave the dingy little store make your way down to campus and the lecture building. you clearly don't want to see him, but he ignores that in exchange to notice the way you shiver every so often. the previously searing-hot coffee that stains your shirt turns cold fast, and moisture n wind don't mix well. he wishes he could offer you some of his own warm coffee, no doubt sickeningly sweet, but he has some sensitivity now, apparently. so, in a brash moment, he decides to take his blazer off and drape it over your shoulders instead.

when you cross the threshold between city and campus, you expect him to yank it off your back and be on his merry way. but he keeps walking next to you, so you walk a little faster, and you absolutely loathe the cheeky little grin that curves the corners of his lips up to show a glint of teeth when he effortlessly keeps up. you curse his long legs when you find yourself winded, but at least you can lose him when you get there.

or, that's what you think. once again, your constellations break themselves to rebuild anew for satoru. you're about to call him a stalker when he follows you all the way to your classroom with that smirk that's growing exponentially until— oh, no.

your phone that's been on the schedule up until now desperately scrolls to the roster— and there it is. he's in your class. needless to say, not another word goes between you as you stomp in and take a seat. luckily for you, you've already corresponded with your roommate's brother (who's annoyingly cute, satoru notices) and agreed to sit next to each other. satoru takes the seat right above you and never stops kicking his freakishly long legs against the wood the entire time.

so yeah, it's obvious he's not a saint; he still has that undoable ego and he's cocky as fuck (as you have the misfortune of finding out when he quickly bullies your professor), but there's a certain familiarity in that no matter how ugly it might appear to others. and if you asked (which he really, really hopes you will someday), he doesn't hang around douchebags who use kids' foreheads for ashtrays and treat girls like they're candy from a glittery pez dispenser. and at least he's switched harassment targets. even though he has an overwhelming sense of superiority over others and never has his lips together for more than five seconds, and even though he has this hellish habit of clicking his pen whenever he's not talking (or when someone else is), it seems like he's changed.

and over time, you gradually find yourself warming up to him. the spunkiness that used to get on your nerves ceaselessly becomes an object of endearment, and you don't really mind the way he never seems to stop moving anymore. it's a nice sort of distraction in the lifeless still of the lecture hall, albeit the pen clicking still drives you near insanity. you notice he always does it obnoxiously and quickly when you're talking to your roommate's brother, but you ignore it.

and for satoru? he hates that he can kinda sorta really tell that you're the only one who can read him like he's a damn book, cus you slowly start to soften up in the nostalgia of his presence like cold playdough between warm fingers that tell you he may have finally caught you again after letting you slip the first time. and he notices it. this time, he's determined not to let you be the one that got away again. but youre really giving him a shit time outta it with the way you constantly entertain the guy who always has his breath in your face.

yeah, he's got a cute face that's sunkissed by freckles. yeah, his hair looks like he models for shampoo companies. and fuck, he has a nice voice. but what of it? satoru's the one with the mesmerizing blue irises and the cloudy white hair your professor wishes he had instead of sad little wisps of old age. still, as chilly days turn into frigid weeks, he gets the perfect backseat angle of the growing relationship between the two of you. the boy's kinda dumb so you copy off of satoru’s work when you need to (he has to hide the 1-0 scoreboard between him and the guy on a sticky note from you when you take his notes), but said guy’s always buying you stuff and lending you erasers and laughing when you flick the shavings at the annoying girl who never stops whispering in the front of the room.

satoru tries to act unbothered, and he almost convinces everyone. including himself. but the angry, burning knot in his chest that's entirely different from coffee stains suggests something more. that should be him at your side. him, making balls of paper with rude scribbles and silly doodles to throw at the people he knows you don't like. him, surprising you with little gifts and the cheap trinkets he knows you adore so much instead of all the luxury things he could afford. there's no way this punk could possibly measure up to him, right? but at least you and satoru are well on your way to becoming friends again. not as close as you used to be, but it's something. substantial. and he's learned to be patient in the time you've been gone.

but he'd be lying through his teeth if he said he wasn't tired of it. he’s endlessly plagued with thoughts of increasing intensity— first, it starts out with just you. only you. the way he likes it. the way he likes your face, and your pretty eyes and your gorgeous lips and your soft hair and your figure and the complimenting clothes you wear. but it takes a turn; thoughts turn into dreams that turn into fantasies and he's lying when he says he doesn't enjoy them when he accidentally lets it slip during a group study session— and it’s all fine— but then, that guy appears. the brat who seems to sit a centimeter closer to you with each coming day. not only does he haunt satoru in real life, he’s tormenting his dreams, too. tainting the image of beautiful you.

needless to say, satoru starts to wake up with his hands gripping his damp pillow like he's choking it, acutely aware of the sweat sliding down his neck and over his chest as he stares up at the ceiling, listening to the dorm's air conditioner run and thinking of what it'd be like for dreams (the ones where he replaces the boy) to become reality.

it's a buildup. and soon, he reaches the apex; it's like a rollercoaster, that stomach-twisting moment when you reach the top of the rail that points to the steep descent downward. but this time, he hopes it's a thrill he gets instead of the usual falling fright; the one he got when he realized he’d slipped between your fingers in highschool.

and satoru finally comes to a grinding halt at the top of the ride one breezy fall day when he decides he wants you back in his life after you smile brightly at him and wave goodbye for the day. he’s tired of you having one foot in and one foot out of his heart; he wants, needs more. he always has, he realizes.

so he’s thinking about you and how to approach the feelings he’s realized during those long lectures, and one morning he comes up with some semblance of a plan when he’s high on the sugar from the fruit tea you bought him that morning. and he hopes that, by the end of it, he'll leave your apartment with your hand in his currently empty one, chilled with the remnants of cold condensation from the bottle.

soon enough, satoru finds himself extinguishing his nerves and raising a tense fist to knock on the door with nothing but the clothes on his back and a flimsy plan to ask you out on a midterm study sesh and maybe even a date, but he stops when he realizes it’s slightly ajar. a brief thought of what look might be on your face when he surprises you crosses his mind, so he lets himself in quietly, because he knows every single floorboard that creaks like the back of his palm from his childhood. he’s hit with a wave of warmth and an achingly familiar scent that twists at his heart, and your apartment is cozy and safe and it screams you and he thinks he catches sight of his jacket slung across the back of the couch in your living room, but he’s not sure so he takes a step forward and—

he’s greeted with the sight of that stupid guy with the nice hair and the freckles, and it makes his heart drop. but even worse, he’s kissing you and his arms are winding around your waist but you’re kissing him back with a slight hesitation that’s blinded to satoru by his shock and the fingers he thought would end up in his own tonight card through the boy’s hair and your lips glisten with the strawberry-kiwi flavored gloss he watched the boy give you a few days back and his world is turning red and he feels like his throat is constricting and he can’t breathe—

and he doesn’t even realize you’ve parted lips and you’re calling his name through the newfound tightness of his chest and the painful ringing in his ears thats even louder than any silence of a lecture hall, or the void that should’ve been filled with your voice during the time you were apart. but now satoru realizes he’d take that any fucking chance to have that again because it’s so much better than what he’s stuck with now. having you, but not really having you, because you’re there but you’re someone else’s and you’re not his and he isn’t yours. the best thing he could ever hope for was for you to own an article of his clothing and a piece of his shattered heart, broken into a million fragments. some cruel voice in his buzzing head reminds him to change the scoreboard to 0-100.

and he could buy you cheap hot coffee or earn your smiles from scrunched up paper balls or even hear your laugh with crude jokes, but there’s no point when he realizes he can’t buy you with caffeine or earn you with hitting the back of people’s heads with his bio notes or have you and your laugh all to himself anymore.

it’s almost pathetic, the way satoru’s voice cracks and changes. the look of unadulterated concern on the face of the boy who stole your lips just adds fuel to the fire.

“gojo? what are you doing here— hey, are you okay? you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

he noticed you’d stopped calling him satoru a few weeks back. he should’ve seen it coming.

“huh? oh, yeah. i’m good. i think you’re the one hallucinating.”

he’d never told a bigger lie in his life.

satoru had left after excusing himself for intruding. how very unlike him to be so polite, you think.

so in the end, he leaves your apartment with something in his hand, after all. but it's not your own— just his blazer that you’d given back to him before he stepped out the door, taunting him with the faint scent of coffee and lingering perfume. his hope was foolish, so it seems. it’s too bad, he thinks. if it were him, he would’ve sandwiched you against your counter while he kissed. but it wasn’t. apparently, it was your turn for your stars to align at the price of his.

and so, gojo satoru, the boy force-turned man with a chipped ego and a completely broken heart, loses you again.

bonus bonus.. part 2….

[g1deonthen1nth]

[honehonn3honey]

Birthday boy 🎂

[irischroma]

So what if Salmonids mutated into something... fresher?