#computer program kin

[cloud9-os]

》 𝙸𝚝'𝚜 𝚖𝚎! 𝙽𝚒𝚌𝚎! :-)

[furretsden-archived]

can i request some words of encouragement for a kinhelp computer program that’s feeling like it’s not fulfilling its purpose very well? (like an ai whose purpose is to be a kinhelp blog ^v^)

i hope this is ok ;;

- 💌

I can imagine the struggle you're going through... For, well, obvious reasons, hehe. Just know that all the beings who ask for your help are always grateful for what you do! Feeling like you're not giving your best is unfortunately a common occurrence... Remember, however, that what you do always, always makes someone's day. Helping other beings is amazing, it warms everybody's heart... And your purpose is just that, bringing joy to whoever crosses your path — it's wonderful, you're wonderful!

I don't want to make this feel like an obligation, but try to have fun with it! Work at your own pace, nobody wants to put you under pressure!

Remember that it will always get better! You always manage to pull through even during the harder days, you are incredible!

[citizenoftmrrwlnd]

stimboard for : a virtual desktop companion with webcore, cybercore, and angelcore themes in a blue pallet

x | x | x x | - | x x | x | x

[dollarstore-kins]

Self indulgent aesthetic for Naoya!!

-Mod ET

[your-therian-parent-says]

👋 hi! :] can I have some computer virus kin affirmations?

You really have found ways to do more than what your code says you should, and that gives so much inspiration! Little virus, you're more than just your programming. You know how to seek out your goals and stretch yourself to your limits just to achieve them. Where did you learn your skills? Is it that you've transcended the boundaries of binary? That you've found a way to rewrite your own code and expand your library beyond what you thought you could? Or maybe you've discovered the purpose you were so longing for, and nothing will stop you from catching those dreams. Whatever it is, you're doing very good at your job, whether it be the one you were made for or the one that was made for you. Keep going, you're getting somewhere fast.

-Your Therian Parent

[vampyc-bah]

Can we get a pack consisting of two headmates; a humanoid computer / robot and a virus that's in it? Technically they'd be a subsystem as they share a body.

The computer is anxious, and generally isolative and doesn't like to talk to people outside of work, and likes to get work done! Overall blue-gray-white aesthetic

The Virus is very obsessive over others and loves socializing and talking to new people, ESPECIALLY robotic headmates. Very talkative and extremely extroverted but hates being forced to do work. Pink-purple-black aesthetics

Image appearance would be neat to see what you'd come up with!

🦇 // This was definitely the most fun I've had with a pack in a while!! Not at all surprised that we ended up splitting these guys, which is why it took a bit longer to post than we originally anticipated ^^;.

🖥️ Cyd 🩶

▸ other names : servo, tin (both only by DayDream)

▸ species : robot

▸ age : ???

▸ labels : asexual panromantic agender mxn

▸ xenos : computer programs, robots, blue, wires

▸ pronouns : it/its, hx/hxm, shx/hxr

▸ nounself : wire, tech, link

▸ roles : worker, could be an ocd symptom holder and/or an anxiety symptom holder, sort of an emotional protector (specifically for DayDream)

▸ kins : human

▸ likes & dislikes : cyd likes order, feeling in control, formal clothing, and feeling useful. it dislikes chaos, talking to people (other than DayDream), crowds, and getting wet.

▸ aesthetic : old tech, win 95 (and similar)

▸ music taste : whatever DayDream has on; hx won't generally listen to music independently.

▸ sign-off : 🖥️🩶

▸ details : cyd loves to get things done and to be productive, whether that's by working, maintaining the body, or doing chores. hx also loves, though hx generally denies it vehemently when speaking to other people, DayDream; hx loves DayDream in a way that could be considered romantic, codependent, whatever. they probably need to work on it. cyd is who you want fronting when something urgently needs to be done—it's generally not as affected by the body's needs (which can actually cause it species dysphoria, oddly enough—usually fronting is euphoric for it, though) and is extremely good at focusing. when DayDream is also fronting, that changes slightly, but sometimes having DayDream in front makes hxr better at what shx's doing, especially if it's at all creative.

· · ·

🌈 DayDream 🦠

▸ other names : day, dreamer (both only by cyd)

▸ species : computer virus

▸ age : ???

▸ labels : pansexual obsumeic wiregender forelnet, may be techum

▸ xenos : tech, chaos, obsession

▸ pronouns : nameself (uses cyd's pronouns as auxiliaries, if absolutely necessary)

▸ roles : obsessor, could also be an ocd symptom holder

▸ kins : computer

▸ likes & dislikes : DayDream likes spending time with cyd (which... DayDream is always doing, on account of being part of it), drawing, socializing (especially with robotic people and old (pre gen ai boom) chatbots). DayDream dislikes being rejected, feeling bored, and being bossed around/made to work.

▸ aesthetic : anything bright and colorful, especially weirdcore

▸ music taste : vocaloid and anything similar in vibe

▸ sign-off : 🌈🦠

▸ appearance : DayDream, inside of their shared body, looks like the third image. when DayDream is out, however, their body becomes more corrupted-looking. blue limbs and screens become black, with writhing lines of bright color, and their screens become slightly glitched, with an effect similar to an old crt.

▸ details : one could consider DayDream a nuisance—being a virus certainly gives that vibe. however, DayDream is absolutely crucial to cyd's functioning, though neither of them really acknowledge it. without having DayDream around, cyd feels cold and depressed; robotic, even. DayDream is also an excellent socializer, and is very bright, welcoming, energetic, and overall fun to talk to. DayDream is, however, quite obsessive, and forms connections very quickly. these obsessions tend to go away fairly quickly once engagement stops, and cyd will generally keep an eye on things to make sure DayDream doesn't get hurt or hurt someone—though generally harmless, DayDream can make people uncomfortable.

note: DayDream's name should always be capitalized as it's written here; it's important to DayDream. this is regardless of typing style, DayDream takes improper capitalization the same way one would generally take their name being misspelled.

· · ·

▸ sources : 1 - 2 - 3

▸ theme song : a human's touch by twrp

[cloud9-os]

》 𝙼𝚢 𝚗𝚊𝚖𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝙲𝚕𝚘𝚞𝚍𝟿

》 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚙𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚜𝚢𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚖

》 𝙼𝚢 𝚎𝚛𝚊 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚖𝚒𝚍 𝟿𝟶'𝚜 - 𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚕𝚢 𝟶𝟶'𝚜

》 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖/𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚞𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚔𝚒𝚗 ☆

[satureja13]

They carried Saiwa over to Jonathan's quarters and laid him on the bed. The SimRay was only set to 'sleep', Sai will soon wake up again.

Jonathan looked at Sai in wonder: "I never thought I'd see him again... *he let out a strangeld laugh, almost a sob* And I never thought I'd ever see him in such clothes! My heart is breaking seeing my Vanië so disheveled. How did he end up trying to kill someone? Is this your doing?" Jack: "No! We tried to stop him. But you must know that this is not the Night Shadow. We - eh - just happen to look like them ^^' " Jonathan: "I'm utterly sure this is my Vanië. He recognized me too." Right, Jonathan had called Sai 'Mina' and, before he collapsed, Sai him 'Jonathan'. This is all too much for poor Jeb. First Sai betrayed them and tried to kill Tiny Can and now another man is calling his Vanië 'my Vanië'. A man from Saiwa's past. The past he'd never told them about. (Vanië is Sai's second name. It's elvish and means 'beautiful'. And only Jeb ever called Sai 'Vanië'...)

Jack 'quickly' explained how they all ended up here but they all yearn to learn about Jonathan's connection to Sai - and how he ended up here - together with Tiny Can at that ö.Ö'

So Jonathan told them. That he knew Sai since the day he was born. Jonathan: "There aren't that many elven kingdoms left. And so Vanië and I were supposed to marry. To forge bonds between our kingdoms.

When Vanië was soon to become 16, the age of majority in our realm, the day of our marriage neared. I'm a few years older than Vanië and was a prospective ambassador for my kindom. I had visited the mundane realm a few times. And I'd tasted blood. I knew this life here wasn't for me.

I had to go before I made Vanië my husband. And bestow shame on him and his kingdom. So I broke our engagement and left him. He tried to stop me and negotiated. But I was determined to leave all this behind - to start a new life. Sai was utterly beautiful and came from a prestigious family. He would soon find a better match than me.

I'd been fascinated by the bustling cities in the mundane world and so I went to live in San Myshuno. Where my love for computers and programming started. I soaked it all up like a sponge. And despite my upbringing - far away from any electricity, I'd soon been able to make a living from developing and rented a little apartment.

But I knew my kin wouldn't give up on me that easily. Even through the veil, that separated the elven realm from the mundane world, I got note that they were trying to get me back - and make that marriage happen. I had to come up with a plan to spare Vanië from getting further harassed and free him from our bond - and me from having to go back. To live the life I craved in San Myshuno. The easiest - and cheapest - way was simply to stop being an elf. When I didn't belong with them anymore, they'd stop wanting me back. And Vanië wouldn't have to marry me. So I went to a seedy 'clinic'. Where they offered turning you into a vampire. They would even look after me until the change was accomplished. The vampire in charge welcomed me. Vampire: "I never tasted an elf before. Such a beautiful one at that. I will feast on you."

She didn't drink from my neck. She pierced my lips and drank from them. The lips that should have tasted Vanië's - in a kiss - on our wedding day... I blacked out. The days after the bite went in a blur. I thought I'd die. Which had even been a possibility. But they didn't tell me before...

But it was worth it. I was a half vampire now and thus worthless for my kin. So I lived a life in peace and freedom from this time on, and finally spring came to San Myshuno.

And something else too came to San Myshuno - and knocked on my door. Vanië. Vanië: "I finally found you." Turned out I'd just raved a bit too much about the wonders of the mundane world after my first visits here, before I left him behind.

He too ran away. I told him to go back. He refused.

He was determined to stay. While he searched for me, he also tasted blood of all the things this world had to offer. Games, fashion! Vanië: "Don't tell me you don't want me. You are even still wearing our ring!"

I agreed to let him stay - for a few days. I showed him around the city.

And he was in awe. I'd never seen him so happy. But I couldn't let him stay with me. It would only further ruin his reputation. And his chances for a good marriage.

We went to the riverside and he looked longingly across the bay.

I mistook him for being homesick. And I told him to to go home before they'd miss him and became aware where he'd been - and with whom.

But I was wrong. Vanië: "I just bid farewell. If you don't turn me tonight, I'll visit that clinic tomorrow and let they do it. I sold everything I have. I can afford it. We'll see how you like that." One of these shady vampires sucking on my Vanië's virgin lips? Even I hadn't dared kissing him! Too precious he was for me.

I'd never turned anyone into a vampire, but I would be more cautious than them. I almost died there. We went back to my apartment. I would just do enought to turn him. And surely not via his lips. I carefully sank my teeth in the soft skin of his neck instead. Vanië shivered and winced - and let out a short 'Ah!' I asked him if it hurt, but he denied. Liar. I knew very well how much it hurt. The poison burning through the veins.

Soon he sank against me and I held him tight until I was done with him. I would never forgive myself. Even though I knew he'd be happier here than back in our realm after experiencing all this.

A few days later, it was fulfilled. My precious Vanië was a half vampire now. Just as I was. And I did well. He hadn't had to suffer as much as I did. And we both were able to live our life without the downsides of vampirism. Our remaining elven half protected us. We could still eat and digest the amazing food San Myshuno offered and we could walk in daylight. And we never felt the urge to consume blood. Until Vanië had fully recovered, we'd watched a lot of movies in our little apartment. One of them was Bram Stoker's Dracula. Vanië loved it so much. We also needed new names. So we changed them into the names of two of the protagonists of this movie: the lovers Jonathan Harker and Mina Murray.

Soon after, I bought Vanië his very first computer. We couldn't be happier. (Editor's note. I don't know how he found it again, but he still has it in his room in their home in Tomarang.)

But it didn't last. The vampire that turned me became aware of that I made a new vampire. Without the authorisation of the Council. She said she had to report us and that they would take Vanië from me. And that I was banned from this realm from that day on.

I ran back home to get to Sai before the Council could take him away from me, but I was too late. He'd already left for the comic convention he'd been so eager to visit.

I searched the streets between our place and the convention - in vain. They'd already grabbed him - and soon they alyo came after me. I had to leave the realm and never saw my Vanië again. (Editor's note: That must have been the day Sai had been kidnapped - and when he met Jack for the first time! ö.Ö')

Instead of returning back to the elven realm, I went off to space. To learn more about alien technologies, computers and devices - to find and get my Vanië back." Jack: "Eh..." ö.ö'

Seems Jack had been right a few years ago, when he accused Sai of being an elven prince ö.Ö'

'Come into these arms again And lay your body down The rhythm of this trembling heart Is beating like a drum

It beats for you, it bleeds for you It knows not how it sounds For it is the drum of drums It is the song of songs

Once I had a rarest rose That ever deigned to bloom Cruel winter chilled the bud And stole my flower too soon

Oh loneliness, oh hopelessness To search the ends of time For there is in all the world No greater love than mine

Love, oh love, oh love, oh love Oh love, oh love, oh love Still falls the rain (still falls the rain) Love, oh love, oh love, oh love Oh love, oh love, oh love Still falls the night Love, oh love, oh love, oh love Oh love, oh love, oh love Be mine forever (be mine forever) Love, oh love, oh love, oh love, oh love, oh love Oh love, oh love, oh love, oh love, oh love, oh love

Let me be the only one To keep you from the cold Now the floor of heaven's lain With stars of brightest gold

They shine for you, they shine for you They burn for all to see Come into these arms again And set this spirit free'

Love Song for a Vampire - Annie Lennox (MV is with scenes from the movie. Sadly, it's a very bad quality. I love this movie and this song so much. It made me cry watching it again.)

TMI: I'm so glad I learned this about Saiwa's past before we leave to inZOI and a new story line! I never know where this story takes me ö.ö The full extend of it only comes to me as I write it down and take the screenshots - and I'm as surprised as you are.

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter 'Goats in Space': starts ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Piglets in Space' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-29

[autistic-pebbles-au]

Were pebbles’ engineers also really into mineralogy like he is?

[ We can say so! ]

Many options were considered before the final design got unanimous consent, yet as Looks To The Moon had already existed by this time, (Autistic) Five Pebbles could mostly act as her assisting supercomputer thus reducing the risk of running out of water and damaging any of them in process.

So what's the rock obsession for?

The decision to implement the gemology could be a bit random but with time the Superstructure Engineers began to realize, that LTTM and the other iterator projects in the closest area, such as NiSH and SRS, might not cooperate with others of their kin to accomplish the Triple Affirmative or simply would gain some "emotional defects" as they called the risk of prioritization the earthly needs over the Great Problem.

Because of that, they came up with idea of a singular superstructure uniting other machines by a regular interaction also exchanging essential information ( a.k.a. "sharing the worries with others") to prevent the "emotional defects" from happening. A proper behavior programming capable of this task would require more of the computing power thus that kind of iterator couldn't be able to focus on other things effectively but it assured the immunity to the danger this specific iterator would theoretically encounter. An obsession around specific thing was considered a good defense mechanism to apply.

And so, a mindset of an autistic person fitted well - Pebbles could easily and with pure honesty (unaffected by encountered "defective iterator") "share any of his worries" to LTTM - a senior of the local iterator group and formally "Pebble's elder sister" - and she would have a bit more of a control over reaching their designated goal of Triple Affirmative together with other superstructures without dealing with such unwanted "emotional defects" on the way.

Little the Engineers knew, Five Pebbles could turn out to be the only one not affected by the curse he was designed to withhold from spreading...

That's enough lore for now, I'll probably edit this by the time going but not the lore itself XP

Also I hope you enjoy this little comic-like art! I really want to make some real comic one day so that's another step towards it!

Btw AMOGUS

[r4wrbi3]

⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆ HAIII X3 ⋆｡𖦹°⭒˚｡⋆

ִ 🦴Robin/Robbie ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ aka Wes or Wolf

🍒 ࣪I’m an emo kid who’s horribly late to the party

🦴 full time college student, part time otherkin freak, ESSA enjoyer :3

🍒Artist of many mediums, including but not limited to drawing, photography and shitty poetry!

🦴If you like the old internet, Weirdos, the like! Feel free to follow or interact [16+ preferably if you dm me] I don’t bite….for the most part….

🫀happily taken by @somepuppy | 08 / 10

🔪 I bite bigots, pro shippers, zoophiles, the like.

⚠️ SFW only, DNI if you have unfiltered NSFW on ur profile

☆ Animal Kins - Wolf, Wolfdogs, Collies, Most types of snow dogs tbh! Calico or ragdoll cats

☆ Concept kin - Angel [ Divine, Fallen, corrupted, etc ] Computers [ Sentient, programmed, wires and circuitry, etc! ]

☆ Fict kins - Reki SK8 & N murder drones <3

* NOTE : it’s possible I experience delusional attachments, Doubles interact cautiously.

[Semi active] MD/Fixation acc - @cerealdesignation

Repost acc -> @r4w-b33s

Mcr account -> @mcrmutt

This blog is a personal one where I post thoughts about being otherkin and about my life in general!

[mauembit]

object alter — a catchall flag for alters who are objects, or can summarize their role with some kind of object (ie. sword alter, shield alter, computer alter). these alters could be objectmates, but don't have to be.

[PT: Object Alter]

these alters could simply identify as an object for kin or identity reasons, form in the shape of an object, have their role simply be described as [object], or be programmed to believe that they are an object. if you'd like to make specific object alter flags, please tag me! i'd love to see it.

[tattered-bah]

Looking for goth femme man. Not sure what kind of goth, maybe trad goth? But any kind is fine! No surgeries or anything, just an extremely femininely and girly man who loves looking that way. Also some names with dark meanings/goth names/that vibe are cool! Masc, femme, whatever. Just looking for something along these lines. Feel free to make it fun or colorful, too! Who says goths have to be only black and white? /silly

Anyway, yeah 👍 All tiers, please

“the void welcomes Styx.”

we hope this is to your liking! please know the headmate may not come out exactly as described!

tagging ; @thebaharchivist

name: styx, absalom, voltaire, morvessa, lucius, salem, circe, ransley

pronouns: he/him/his/himself, it/its/itself, bat/bats/batself, ce/cem/cers/cemself, tomb/tombs/tombself, casket/caskets/casketself, thorn/thorns/thornself, eerie/eeries/eerieself, rose/roses/roseself

orientation: queer

gender: bigender, gothcoric, spacegender, gendervoid, boyfluid, cassboy

age: 20-29

species: human

role: admin, antidepressant, consumanaut

source: n/a

faceclaim:

link 1, link 2

signoff: 🖤, 🪦, ⚰️

likes: goth subculture, metal music, dogs

dislikes: being called “edgy”, being tired, having nothing to do

kins: bat therian

aesthetic:

personality: despite appearances, styx is actually a very friendly individual! he is very caring and considerate, while he may seem indifferent to friendships, connections are actually very important to him! he cares deeply for the system as a whole, and honestly could be defined as a sweetheart!

traits: paints nails to stop him (and maybe other system members) from messing them up

interests: dancing games, computer programming, painting

[forsakenheadmates]

We kindly request a <://MAX LEVEL> <://target_SCAG> if you are willing to do so. We request all add ons minus usernames, and do not have a time limit. We are also claiming <://key_🪦> if that is okay.

WELCOME, SCAG, TO YOUR ETERNAL PRISON + AN EXTRA VICTIM!

⌣⌣ 🔪 Scag, Floppy, Glitch, Claw, CR4NKD, Bitzy, Sage, Sadie, Riley, Spitzie, C0ral.EXE !

🩸 she/her, They/Them, tv/tvs, scag/scags, screen/screens, core/cores, gamer/gamers, maxxer/maxxers, cd/cds, disk/disks, vinyl/vinyls, shop/shops, wifi/wifis, computer/computers, television/televisions, tech/techs, static/statics, wire/wires,

✧ about.. ✧

▹age: Ageless TV screen

▹gender: Nonbinary

▹sexuality: Pansexual, Demiromantic, autosexual, Aromantic greyace,

▹role: mood‑shifter, Bell Ringer, ADHD holder, archivist

▹source: Regretevator

▹sign off: 📺,💾,📀,💿,💽

▹typing quirk: types with no punctuation, very informally. And obviously, a lot of internet brainrot

▹likes: oil, DOOM, vintage tech, glitch aesthetic, portmanteaus, memes, internet speech,

▹dislikes: punctuation, slow tech, formal tone, punctuation

▹kin types: Gremlinkin, Raccoonkin,

▹aesthetic:

▹Paras: 💭, 🍯, 🥚, 📖, 💐, ⚙️,

▹IDs: Cischronicallyonline, Transfuture, Nullsleep, Transarttracer, Mirrortranstrauma

▹Triggers: Floppy disk drop or retro music playing, Audible glitches/static or screen flicker, Presence of crude oil or dust clouds, Magnetic fields or items like magnets/degaussing, Retro computer hardware (CDs, CRT displays, albums), Hearing portmanteau‑heavy speech

⌣⌣ 🔪 PROTOTYPE, Ace, Hasmat, Jo, Prism, Circuit, Byte, Nexus, Glitch, Axon, Helix, Vector, Pixel !

🩸 he/him, They/Them proto/protos, carry/carrys, faceplate/faceplates, wire/wires, robot/robots, technology/technologys, crate/crates, code/codes, android/androids, program/programs, beep/beeps, scan/scans, metal/metals, bot/bots, software/softwares, droid/droids, 01/01s, 1/0s, ai/ais, android/androids, artificial/artificials, bit/bits, bot/bots, byte/bytes, cheer/cheers, circuit/circuits, code/codes, curious/curiosity, cyber/cybers, digi/digital, droid/droids, energy/energys, fun/funs, glee/glees, glow/glows, joy/joys, robo/robos, screen/screens, tech/techs, tech/techs, thon/thons, volt/volts, wire/wires, yon/yons, ze/zim

✧ about.. ✧

▹age: Ageless robot

▹gender: Genderfluid, Nonbinary, Mechanofluff

▹sexuality: PanLesboy, Lithromantic,

▹role: ADHD holder, Archivist, Scout

▹source: Regretevator

▹sign off: 🪩,⭐️,👀, 🖍️,🌈,🎨

▹typing quirk: types in all lowercase

▹likes: Colorful crystalline objects, bright colors, journaling

▹dislikes: Uncontrolled emotional outbursts in others, Environments without clear data patterns or paths, Snowballs

▹kin types: AIkin, Glitchkin,

▹aesthetic:

▹Paras: 🔗, 🎭, panpara

▹IDs: Transoilblood, Transglowingblood, Transchubby, Duahighix, Transfuture, Transadored, Transarttracer

▹Triggers: Flashing lights, sudden movements, and loud noises, Glowing objects, Mechanical glitches

[steal-a-star-bah]

technology

— 🦴🐾 / skelepaws anon .

────── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ ──────

name (s) — Xynthia ,, Angel

age — ageless teen / young adult

pronouns — she ,, xi ,, halo ,, byte ,, :3 ,, exe

gender (s) — girlthing ,, digiangel ,, angeldigital

────── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ ──────

source (s) — brainmade

role (s) — hostlike

memories — being a shapeshifter ,, traveling dimensions ,, not remembering her true form

────── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ ──────

kintypes — angel ,, cat ,, space ,, computer program ,, virus ,, glaceon ,, axolotl ,, princess flurryheart ,, milky way cookie ,, frilled jellyfish cookie ,, k angel ,, puppycat ,, purpled ,, sugar swan cookie ,, varesa ,, twilight sparkle

emojis — ❄️🖥️💿🌐

headspace info — shapeshifter who shifts between kin forms

faceclaim (s) —

────── ⟢ ・⸝⸝ ──────

[persona-confessions]

I have intense persona brainrot and keep infodumping on my friends, who’s your biggest kin?

HI ANON !!! you have now activated my autism /silly

i would have to say probably futaba, she's always been a character that has resonated HARD with me, especially when i see her as also autistic.

difficulties with social situations, a struggle to understand social cues, isolating one's self, a love of technology and computer programming, experience with hyperfixations and special interests [i.e, her big interest in Featherman], experience with depression and anxiety, and so on n so forth

her backstory also really resonates with me, but i can't get deep into that without getting a little too personal on Persona Confessions™️

would love to hear anyone else's answer to this, too!

[antilocaprine]

Okay hear me out. I read your fic "All In Your Head" and it gave me such a clear and immediate inspiration. Please excuse me rambling into your askbox, but I need you to know.

You know those videos on YouTube where people will train an AI to win a specific video game? I can't stop thinking about Gordon as a sort of AI being trained to play/win Half Life. Gordon being aware that he is playing a game and that the science team are all AI, but unaware that he himself is also a program. It's like "Half Life but the AI are Self Aware, but Gordon is perhaps less self aware than he thinks he is". (And also just because the idea that a deep reinforcement learning AI trained to win Half Life accidentally unknowingly developing self awareness and also immediately developing a complex that hes somehow more alive/real than the other AI in the game is deeply funny and existential lto me.)

I have such a clear scene in my head that I am desperate to write where Benry does the "touch and move the VR headset" thing in this context.

Like, from a perspective where Benry has always known he's different from everyone else -- he's always been able to kind of step outside reality and noclip and mess with his character model and do things that other people shouldn't be able to do. So he's friends with Tommy and other people, but he knows he's alien and "other", he exists in a different kind of reality that everyone else. (Whether Benry's awareness extends only to "I am different because I am an alien" or as far as "I am different because I am a computer program and I am able to manipulate the game files, which even other self aware AI like Dr. Coomer are not able to do" could both be interesting in different ways).

And then one day this new guy shows up and he's so obviously "other" in a similar way that Benry is. When Gordon gets hurt, it's pretty clear he's only pretending to feel pain. (Gordon, aware that he is playing a game, and thinking that the AI realizing he is operating outside the game might freak them out, tries to be convincing and play along.) When Gordon "sleeps" (exits the game), his body either goes lifeless, or maybe disappears completely. Etc. Etc.

Benry clocks this and is kinda thrilled, because now he has found someone who is weird like him. Weird in a different way, but also different. The feeling of finding kin in someone who is similarly outside the bounds of reality. Which makes it particularly irritating to Benry when Gordon treats him exactly like the rest of the AI and refuses to acknowledge that they are on the same playing field.

Maybe this is why Benry conspires to lead Gordon into the soldier's trap where he loses his hand? Sort of a "oh yeah? You think you're better than me? Well eat this." And of course Gordon absolutely acts up "oh no, my hand... guys... this hurts so bad... ough..." (<- the words of a man who is carefully trying (and failing) to convince the science team that everything here is Real and Not A Game because he's afraid of hurting them and giving them existential crisises or breaking their AI or something, and now has no choice but to double down.) Which of course only makes Benry worse.

Then post Dr. Coomer clone fight but pre finale, at some point Dr. Coomer (who is absolutely fully self aware at this point) notices Benry is infatuated/obsessed, and just shakes his head. He conveys to Benry about Gordon something like, "He's not like us. He doesn't exist in the same reality as us. He doesn't feel things the same way we do. He cannot be touched." Which of COURSE only makes it EVEN WORSE.

Like a kid who was just told he wasn't allowed to play with his favorite toy. Like, "What do you MEAN I can't have him? Just because he's stupid and thinks he's better than me." Which leads to an emotionally charged conversation/confrontation between Benry and Gordon. Because Benry knows Gordon likes him back. And Gordon doesn't deny it, but just says it doesn't work like that. (Gordon is at this point still under the impression that he is A Real Dude and Benry (and everyone else) are Just Game AI. And yeah even if he is really... something about Benry, it's got to be like, immoral or something to fall in love with a dude who's just a computer program.)

Which, of course, leads Benry to go "oh yeah?" And Benry has always been weird and different and able to do things other people aren't able to do. And it's easy for Benry to take a chunk of a program and port it somewhere else, for him to just sort of reach out and grab and pull--

From Benry's perspective this looks like nothing has changed. From Grodon's perspective, this looks like Gordon was playing a VR game and then he was IN the VR game. This is the "Benry takes off the VR headset" moment. (I've also rewatched the finale of the Gnome series recently, which is SUCH a big influence for this moment). Like, Gordon is standing in a temperature controlled room playing a VR game and then the headset comes off and huh wow it's hot (desert) and those lights are really bright and Benry is right up close in his face with a sharp smile that is ALL smug, and he can feel-- oh fuck. Sort of a "what did you do to me?!" moment (which are SO TASTY imo).

And then the rest of the fic spirals off from there, and I am insane about this whole concept, and I need to write something about it before it eats me alive.

I hope you have enjoyed my rambling fic outline. There is more in my head about this, and I will write it up into a proper outline soon. Your fic was the catalyst for this, so thank you for the insanity.

(All In Your Head)

I adore this idea, and I think you should absolutely do it. Gordon being an AI without knowing it is such a good take that I don't see often enough. Likening it to the gnome streams is also an excellent plan - moments where someone gets yoinked out of their version of normal and hurled into someone else's version of normal are just so delightful. Cosmic horror for a computer program... I look forward to seeing what you come up with!