#cornie book awards

[corniebooks]

2021 Cornie Book Awards

Genres are a poor way to group books for awards, especially since this is all decided by me and I don't read widely in all genres. I have come up with different categories. These are trial groups that I can't imagine working every year, but eventually I want to make them more solid of categories so people can recommend books for specific categories.

And to be annoying, I'll explain the categories before giving out any awards.

The main award is the Official Cornie Book Award which will be awarded to the book that magically embodied what I wanted to read that year. A previous example would be Spellbound by Allie Therin.

The next award, the Popcorn Award, will be awarded to a book or a quickly published series (self-published usually) that are perfect entertainment with or without depth. The biggest indicator to me will be that I fly through the book(s) without paying attention to the technical aspects of the art form. A previous example would be the Playing the Fool series by Lisa Henry.

The next category I will need help coming up with a name for the award. It is for a book that possessed my brain and made it so I couldn't start another book for days or weeks because I was still caught up in the ideas presented or the amazing twist. This year's winner is the best I've seen of this category, so no spoilers.

The next award is the Best Sequel. I think it is bad for sequels to be put on the same playing field as other books because it is hard to pick it up to read in time for the awards if you haven't started the series. Stand-alone series are excluded from this category as you could pick up them in any order.

Best Graphic Novel. I know they come in a variety of genres, but they are not as prolific as books and so I think they can still stand on their own.

For categories I know I likely will not repeat every year, I will call honorary awards. Honorary Award 1 this year is Reality TV done well in a book (and I wish this was more of a thing, so send me recommendations). Honorary Award 2 this year is "Is this me?" where a character's arc looks a lot like something I've gone through and really resonated with me.

And now for the awards!

2021 Honorary Award 1 goes to The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochrun

2021 Honorary Award 2 goes to Out of Character (Stand-alone Sequel #2) by Annabeth Albert

2021 Best Graphic Novel goes to The Girl from the Sea by Molly Knox Ostertag

2021 Best Sequel goes to The Nobleman’s Guide to Scandal and Shipwrecks by Mackenzi Lee

2021 Unnameable Award goes to The Darkness Outside Us (YA) by Eliot Schrefer

2021 Popcorn Award goes to the Radiance Series by Tavia Lark

And the 2021 Cornie Book Award goes to Winter's Orbit by Everina Maxwell

[thatsnotmygunflash]

Are there any Professor Snart fics out there? The thought came to me and now I'm lying on the floor trying to get my brain to reboot.

Think about it. The gossip surrounding the hot new English professor. The casual but professional outfits. The captivating lectures. The charming smiles. The corny jokes. The starry-eyed students. The never-ending string of faculty friends and students visiting when he's in his office. The abundance of award-winning books he's written (James Patterson who?). The Dean is ready to offer him tenure if Len agrees to add another class or two to his roster because they have so many students begging to be in his class. He goes to his students' poetry slams to encourage them and has a writing workshop for inspiring authors. He sponsored a scholarship in his name for LGBTQ+ students. He volunteers to help with the theater department. Not long after he's hired, Professor Leonard Snart seems to be the only thing anyone wants to talk about at Central City University.

[jordanrosenburg]

Abbott Elementary - The Savior of Sitcoms

When Abbott Elementary aired midseason in December of 2021, I don’t think any of us were ready. I had first heard about the show from Quinta Brunson’s TikTok. I’ve been following her since she worked for Buzzfeed, having made very funny and true digital shorts about what it’s like to be a woman, specifically a short woman. So, from time to time I liked to check in on her and see what she was up to. She was announcing her book, She Memes Well, and she briefly mentioned she was working on a pilot.

Quinta is a triple threat to the world of Abbott - she’s the head writer, executive producer, and lead actress. Her being a woman and doing all of these things is already incredible, but seeing a woman of color shine like this is truly inspirational, and quite honestly...it’s about damn time. Quinta was awarded the very well deserved Emmy for OUTSTANDING COMEDY WRITER. A young (she’s 32, that’s young) woman of color won an award for comedy writing. I cried tears of joy during her acceptance speech. As a woman, we’re basically told our whole lives that female comedians aren’t funny, so this was major for a multitude of reasons.

The cast of Abbott is comprised with some familiar face: Lisa Ann Walter, who many folks of my generation know as Chessy from The Parent Trap, Tyler James Williams of Everybody Hates Chris fame, Sheryl Lee Ralph, who many of us remember as Dee Mitchell from Moesha, and William Sanford Davis who is no stranger to the sitcom world. We also have Janelle James, a comedian who I had honestly never heard of, but is truly hilarious, and Chris Perfetti, another new face to me, but has quickly stolen my heart as his character Jacob.

The first season starts off during the spring semester of the school year. Janine, played by Quinta, is a semi-new teacher who wants to be the absolute best for her students. She’s young, ambitious, high-spirited, and is often annoying her colleagues.

Seasoned professional Barbara Howard, who happened to be Janine’s teacher back in the day, is probably the person annoyed by Janine the most. But only because Janine’s high energy and new teaching styles don’t jive with what Barbara’s used to. Throughout the season, Barbara ends up leaning on Janine a bit more, and starts to see her value as a teacher. Especially when it comes to using new technology that Barbara isn’t exactly savvy with.

Jacob is a corny, happy-go-lucky social studies teacher. He’s the closest with Janine. Jacob is the quintessential cis-white guy who is often a little too “woke” for his own good. But he means well, and even though his students refer to him as “Mr. C.” because he’s so corny, they love him as their teacher. He also has a very loving relationship with his boyfriend, which I enjoyed seeing represented.

Melissa is a fast fan favorite. Having grown up in Jersey, she brings a very real character to the table. She’s a math teacher, and a damn good one at that. Another seasoned professional, who is close with Barbara, but also plays by a lot of her own rules. If something needs to get done, she knows someone who knows someone who knows someone, but you didn’t hear it from her.

Gregory is new to the elementary school. He starts off as a substitute teacher. He was originally supposed to be the principal of Abbott, he was offered the job after going to school for it! But alas, the job was given to someone else - Ava Coleman. Ava has literally no teaching background of any kind. So how did she get the job?

Ava is often flirting with Gregory, making some very crude remarks. She uses the budget inappropriately for her own vanity, and only sometimes actually does her job. She and Janine tend to have many disagreements, but Janine is a passive person, so she’s usually coming up with some over the top idea to make a change instead of just simply discussing the issue with Ava. Not that Ava ever really listens, so it almost forces Janine to do something crazy.

And Mr. Johnson, our beloved custodian, is always there with a smart remark, often that extra comic relief we need to break the tension during some of the more serious scenes.

The show is a mockumentary style sitcom, similar to The Office, or Parks and Rec. The interviews the characters give aren’t as formal as they were on The Office. Most of the time when they’re talking directly to the camera, they’re in the hallway between classes. This style can be hard to pull off, especially when so many other sitcoms have done it, like Modern Family, for example. But Abbott does it flawlessly.

Like many of my favorite shows, we have a slow burn occurring between two main characters: Gregory and Janine. Gregory makes it pretty obvious, to the cameras, that he likes Janine right away.

In fact, part of the reason he takes the open position to become a full-time teacher and not a substitute, by the end of the school year is so he can still be around Janine. Nothing can be too easy, though. We learn early on that Janine has a long-time boyfriend, Tariq. Tariq is basically a deadbeat, going from one dead-end job to the next, leaving Janine to constantly pick up the slack. But they’ve been together for well over ten years, so she’s not exactly looking to start anew.

However, by the end of the first season, Janine does end things with Tariq. And it’s not because she’s in love with Gregory. As much as we want them to be Jim and Pam, they’re not. Janine breaks up with Tariq because she realizes she’s simply outgrown him, and it’s not healthy for either of them to stay in their relationship. It’s not easy for her to come to terms with this, we see that at the beginning of season two as she pretends to be fine with the breakup. Throughout the first season, Janine evolves quite a bit. She’s much more confident as a teacher going into the fall semester. She’s more sure of herself and her capabilities.

The show is heartwarming at its core. Yes, it’s extremely laugh out loud funny. (Which is a big deal because a show rarely makes me audibly laugh, so the fact that I’ve laughed so hard I’ve nearly cried?? Yeah, this is a well written show.) All of the main characters go through a sort of “after school special” moment that helps them grow and become better. I think my favorite person’s journey is Gregory’s. He was obviously bitter about not getting the principal position. He’s also just a very odd duck. He likes order and rigidity. He only eats plain, boiled chicken between two slices of white bread. (He doesn’t like when different foods mix together. When he admitted he didn’t like pizza, it was a whole thing. Jacob was the most offended, especially when Gregory also told them he didn’t pie.)

Gregory doesn’t get goofy or silly with his students, he prefers order. But he slowly starts to realize that if he’s going to actually have a good command over his classroom, then he’ll need to let loose a little.

We’re three episodes in to the second season, and it’s already holding up to the groundbreaking first. This isn’t always easy to do. Sometimes when a show has such an incredibly good first season, the second season can feel lackluster. But not Abbott Elementary. Less than a minute into the first episode, I was already laughing hysterically. Janine was discussing her breakup, so we cut to a scene showing Tariq packing up his friend’s car, and them both driving away. Tariq had a shining smile on his face as he danced in the passenger seat while ‘Snap Yo Fingers” by Lil Jon blasted through the speakers.

The main cast are back to their old antics: finding ways to keep the students interested, doing their best to keep the school from crumbling, and just getting through each day one step at a time. The teachers lean on one another for so many things, and I don’t think that’s something we’ve seen in a show with a school setting before. Most sitcoms that take place in school are usually about the students, not the teachers. And if it is about the teachers, it’s usually very serious. We’re getting a real and unique perspective about what teachers have to deal with at a semi-underprivileged school. Second and third grade classes get lumped together, the textbooks are nowhere near new, and the grant money Janine won for new supplies had to go towards getting rid of a rat infestation in the cafeteria.

Not that it’s all about Janine and Gregory and their slow burn, but if we’ve learned anything from watching Jim and Pam (The Office), or Jake and Amy (Brooklyn Nine-Nine), or Ben and Lesley (Parks and Rec), or even Jonah and Amy (Superstore), these two will not be confessing feelings any time soon. And if they do, they won’t be getting together as an official couple until at least the end of the third season, as many of the couples listed previously did. I’m really excited to see how it all plays out. I know it’s going to be good.

In my opinion, we haven’t had a truly good sitcom in quite some time. Many of our favorites have long since ended. Sometimes when I see the current ones, the ones that are on cable networks like ABC, CBS, and NBC, I find myself asking, “How is this still on the air?”. One of the last good ones standing, again in my opinion, was Brooklyn Nine-Nine, which ended in 2021 after eight seasons. Modern Family ended in 2020, but despite the few really funny clips I’ve seen from that show, I never got into it to watch regularly. Just because a family is blended and a little unconventional, doesn’t mean it’s modern. Who was it modern to? The upper-middle class? The same goes for Black-ish, which ended last spring. That was another show I tried to get into, but just couldn’t. To me, it was just another show about an upper-class family. Yes, the cast was diverse and had good representation, but not everyone lives like that family did. Other honorable mentions are: The Good Place (2016-2020), Schitt’s Creek (2015-2020), and Superstore (2015-2021). Many of these beloved shows have all ended within the last three years. And what are we left with? The Goldbergs? Young Sheldon? Grown-ish? Hard pass. If you like those shows, no shade, they’re just not my cup of tea.

And even though we have shows on paid streaming services like Ted Lasso (a must watch if you’re able), that’s not a program that’s easily accessible to everyone. I’m hoping Abbott sparks inspiration for more warm-hearted comedies. It’s a show that’s fun for adults, but it’s something you can still watch as a family if you so choose. Having someone like Quinta as a writer is truly the key to its success. The show is funny, relatable, sometimes gut-wrenching, and something I look forward to watching every week. 

[milkb0nny]

Hii, I would like to request Sampo headcanons about his love language towards his s/o 😻🫶

Thanks in advance 🤧🤍

Sampo's love language

Sampo x neutral!reader

Note: I'm sorry this took me ages! I decided to finish my requests, despite me not being into the community as much as I was at the start. Though, I still hope you'll like it! 🤍 Thank you very much for this request!

🤎 Despite his flirtatious exterior, Sampo is a hopeless romantic at heart. He writes anonymous love letters to you, leaving them hidden in unexpected places like your favorite book or tucked under your pillow. Even though he isn’t the best at arts, he leaves silly doodles on the front of the letters where he playfully displays you two kissing, cuddling, holding hands and such. His facade falls away in these letters, revealing his true feelings and vulnerability. He usually struggles to express his serious side so writing letters helps him communicating these romantic emotions.

🤎 Sampo loves surprises and one of his favorite ways to show affection is by planning surprise picnics. He packs a picnic basket filled with your favorite foods and invites you for a spontaneous date. It's a perfect blend of his charm and thoughtfulness. Sampo also brings thick blankets along, as well as thick pairs of socks and candles. He’ll set up a lovely setting before dragging you there. Even at the coldest places, you still don’t need to freeze, due to his warmth and care.

🤎 Sampo may be involved in scams and seems very dishonest, but he knows how to be genuinely kind, especially to you. He leaves little surprises like your favorite snacks or a warm cup of coffee at your doorstep when you least expect it. It's his way of showing that he cares, even if he can't always express it openly. You often find yourselves stumbling over small gifts when you leave your apartment in the morning. Wether his gifts consist of flowers, food or small gems, it always makes your day.

🤎 Despite his flirtatious persona, Sampo is a gentle lover. He's attentive to his partner's needs and takes the time to listen and understand you. His affectionate touches, like brushing a strand of hair from your face or holding your hand, convey his love. His hands are always as cold as ice, but you don’t mind. Him petting you is the most comfortable experience you get in life.

🤎 He showers you with compliments, daily. From praising your intelligence to admiring your breathtaking beauty. He believes in building your confidence and making you feel cherished and desired. Whenever you struggle with your self esteem, the man stands by your side, trying to be your positive, loving voice. You started loving yourself more since you entered the relationship with Sampo. He is a master at giving cheesy yet endearing compliments.

🤎 Sampo strongly believes in the power of bouquets to brighten someone's day. Being specific: your day. He'll surprise you with a bouquet of your favorite blooms, showing up at your doorstep with a grin.

🤎 The handsome man loves stargazing, and on clear nights, he'll take you to a quiet spot away from the city lights. You lie together, watching the stars, as he shares stories and dreams about your future together. Since he can access to the over world, he fell in love with the beauty of stars. As the night sets and stars shine bright, he finds himself in a very emotional situation. They shine so bright, yet being wrapped in darkness and it amazes him. Stars remind him of you.

🤎 Sampo is a master of corny jokes. He'll unleash a barrage of his funniest one-liners, hoping to make you laugh, even if it's just for a moment. His enthusiasm for wordplay is infectious. You can’t help but smile, even if you bawled your eyes out before, when he tells you the most dry joke on this planet. You love it though, as he always lightens your bad days up. In secret, the man wishes for an award; the award for the funniest man in your life.

[hoodharlow]

Happy Birthday Moviestar

AN sorry this took long lol. i was gonna so something about the vmas and met gala but decided against it hope you enjoy <333

Requested? No

Warnings SMUTTT, angst (neelam says some things she should have) but overall cute shit bc it’s miriam’s birthday 

Word Count 6.7k words

“Now I get why you didn't want to sit in my box seats.” Kendall Jenner told Miriam, noticing Jack sitting courtside next to Urban and Zack Bia with his team behind him. 

"I don't like box seats in general." She shrugged. 

Kendall gave her a knowing look and guided them to the section directly across from Jack's seats. 

They were in Phoenix for the Suns and Warriors game. Miriam hitched a ride with Kendall from New York. She's been there for a little over a month filming another movie. She starred alongside Evan Mock and Isabela Gomez. It's a book adaptation to 'Placebo Junkies' and about a highschool dropout who lives in a rundown apartment with her boyfriend (played by Evan Mock) and her best friend (played by Isabela Gomez). Evan Mock's character has a terminal illness and Miriam's character starts doing medical trials to save up some money so they can take a trip. Throughout the film it showed the desperation Miriam's character goes through to make money after her best friend passes away and what can happen when drug trials are taken to extremes. What Miriam is most excited about is the ending because her character is an unreliable narrator, and it leaves the ending left to interpretation.

She got the role back in September, when she was getting ready for the Met Gala, Jeremy O. Harris was also getting dressed by Tommy Hilfiger, like her and Jack, and brought up the movie role. Jeremy is one of the producers for 'Placebo Junkies'. He claimed that it was ‘perfect for her’ because he read the script for ‘The Lies We Vow To' ,her movie with Oscar Isaac, and drew similarities between the characters. Filming for the movie started in early October and set to end in mid December. Though right they're taking a week long break since Isabela Gomez is promoting one of her projects and Evan Mock is gearing up for the second half of Gossip Girl. Coincidentally, Miriam's birthday is in the same week and Jack invited her to spend the week with him while he toured. He offered to fly her out first class, but she had already asked Kendall if she could fly with her. 

She hadn't seen him in forever. After Lollapalooza Chicago, she went to New York to work on her Met Gala look with Tommy Hilfiger and Soni, Danny and Claudia's mom. They briefly reunited in London but they couldn't spend as much time as they liked because Jack was busy doing shows and interviews, but they were lucky to sit at the same table at the GQ awards dinner. She went because she was her dad's plus one. Mateo was awarded some type of athletic lifetime achievement award for his time at Chelsea. Soon after that, Jack began his US tour and she was working for fashion month. 

Her phone buzzed and she pulled it out of her back pocket. It was a message from Jack. Miriam read it and rolled her eyes at his corny message about how he's rethinking his career choices because she looks good in a basketball jersey. She didn't even try to make her outfit look cute. She wore some high waisted boyfriend jeans and his black hoodie with a Warriors jersey over it. Kendall Jenner was dressed the same, except she wore her boyfriend's jersey. 

Miriam looked across the court to him. She smirked seeing him sitting with his legs open. She typed out how yearned to drop to her knees and suck him right then and there, not caring that seventeen thousand people saw her. She watched him pull out his phone and read her message. He squirmed in his seat and subtly adjusted his pants. He met her gaze and discreetly flipped her off while he fixed his jacket. 

Not long after warm-ups started. Miriam and Kendall took several pictures, posting them to their respective social media accounts. At some point Juan Toscano, number 95 from the Warriors, came by with Jordan to say hi to Miriam when Kendall went to go greet Devin. Jordan left to finish, leaving Miriam and Juan to catch up. 

From across the court Jack took notice of how Miriam was laughing a little too hard at whatever Juan was telling her. 

"Aw, she's wearing his jersey. They make such a cute couple." said Charlotte, one of Neelam’s influencer friends that was close to Jack's age. 

Charlotte and Jack had a very brief fling a few years back. He met her in Birmingham at one of his shows. She was tall and blonde, nothing too interesting to keep him around. She became some sort of southern Belle influencer and according to Neelam, she grew a decent sized following a few months ago. Jack wanted nothing to do with Charlotte after they ended things but she managed to stay friends with Neelam and would sometimes get flown out to hang out with her. 

"They're not a couple." Jack said curtly, squeezing his paper cup as Juan and Miriam shared a hug. 

"I don't know, that looks like a couple to me," Charlotte said in a sing-song voice. She reached forward to rub Jack's arm and leaned in, "what are we doing after the game, handsome?"

Thankfully the game started and Jack could just pretend he didn't hear her. But that didn't stop her from trying to get his attention. Every few minutes, she'd try to touch his arm. It got to the point that Jack had to ask Urban to switch seats with him. At half-time, the Suns' mascot went up to him and gave him a personalized jersey for the shout out he gave them in the 'What's Poppin' remix. By the time the third quarter started, Jack's social battery drained and he wanted to go back to his hotel room.

He pulled out his phone to text Miriam just as she sent him a text that she was leaving the game early. He replied back that she should wait for him because he was planning on leaving as well but he head to check in with Neelam and Chris. 

"Hey, I'm heading back to the hotel with Miriam." He told Chris in a hushed tone. 

"Okay, text me when you get to the hotel." He said. 

"You can't just leave. The game isn't over." Neelam whisper-yelled. 

"It's just a basketball game." Chris reassured her.

"Whatever." She mumbled, crossing her arms.

"Jack, where are you going?" Charlotte asked him.

"I'm leaving." He said bluntly. 

"Can I go with you?" She quickly gathered her things.

"No." He said, looking over to Urban with a 'you seeing this shit?' look. 

He grabbed his things and shook hands with Urban and Zack. He nodded at Chris and was on his way. He spotted Miriam and Beto casually waiting for the valet to pull up with their rental. 

"Hey," he said, letting her know he was there.

"Hi." She grinned. 

Jack ached to touch her, to have his arms around her, but he couldn't. When they established that they're a couple they agreed to be private. It wasn't anyone's business either way. Their close friends and family knew, along with Jack's team because they wouldn't be able to hide it from them. Other than that nobody else knew. To the general public they were just really close friends that saw each other at a lot of events. 

Though Miriam accidentally let her followers know she wasn't single when she posted a selfie of her with Daisy jumping over her to her Instagram stories. Her caption was 'when your dog hears your man's voice and wants to join your facetime.' She had called him panicking and apologized. He reassured her that it was okay. He gave her his consent that she can talk about him as long as she doesn't mention him by name or post anything that can be traced back to him because he knew how his fans could get. Even before they got together, some of them didn’t like that they were friends while some claimed that they're not real friends and only hang out for PR reasons.

The valet approached them and handed the keys to the rental to Beto. He stood back to make sure there weren't any paps as Jack guided Miriam inside the SUV. 

Once inside the confines of the car, Jack pulled Miriam into a chaste kiss. 

"I fucking missed you." He said, pressing their foreheads together.

"Really? Because from the looks of it you and blondie looked rather comfortable. Are you going to dedicate a verse from my song to her too?" She asked him in a playful tone, referring to the Chicken Shop Date video.

"For the millionth time, it was edited." He groaned.

When he filmed the Chicken Shop Date video, he was asked what the most romantic lyric he wrote was and he recited a verse from the song he wrote for Miriam a few months back. But the video editors cut it so it looked like he made up the verse off the top of his head for the host. Miriam was a bit annoyed with him when she saw the video because she thought the song was just between them. But Jack reassured her that the song was between them. Though he did plan to have that part of her song in another song about her. 

"I know I just like teasing." Miriam giggled. 

The car ride back to the hotel was quick. Jack handed her a copy of his key while her and Beto checked in. Chris was able to book a room for her and Beto in the same one they were staying at. Will she be sleeping in it? No, the night was still young and her and Jack had several weeks to catch up with each other. 

Jack went ahead of her and quickly picked up the things he had laying on the ground. He fixed up the bed and fluffed up the pillows. A few minutes later the card reader pinged, opening the door and revealing Miriam. 

She closed the door and ran to him, wrapping her legs around his waist. Jack bounced her bit, adjusting her legs so she wouldn't slip off him. They kissed as he carried them to the cloud gray arm chair. They pulled away, removing their sweaters and shirts. Miriam stayed in her lace and silk balconette bra while Jack stayed shirtless. 

“Did this come with a matching thong?” Jack asked, toying with a strap.

“No, but I got matching cheeky panties.” Miriam shrugged. 

“You always gotta make your smartass comments.” he mumbled.

“Isn’t that why you like me?” she smiled sweetly.

“No, it’s because of this ass.” 

Jack pushed her up so that his hands were on her ass. With both hands, he kneaded her ass and then pressed her down on the growing tent of his pants. Miriam held his face as she leaned down to kiss his lips. They moaned into each other's mouths as Jack kept moving Miriam’s hips on him. He held them in place and pushed his hips up for a different sensation. After what felt like an eternity, he finally let them go and wrapped his arms around her waist as they continued their makeout session.

Kissing Jack was addicting and it didn’t help that he’s good at it. Miriam has known all that since their shared kiss back at his birthday kickback. One kiss made her want to have a million more. And having him all to herself like this, she couldn’t help but be greedy and only want to kiss him. Though that didn’t mean she didn't ache to have him fill her up. 

“This is embarrassing.'' Jack panted, finally breaking their kiss.

“What?” Miriam asked before kissing down his jaw.

“I’m about to bust,” he groaned. 

“Bust what?” she scrunched her face in confusion.

“What do you think, smartass?” he deadpanned gesturing to his crotch.

“Oh,” she giggled. Miriam got off his lap and kneeled on the rug. With her hands, she opened his legs a bit so she could fit properly in between them. She sat on her knees and gathered her hair into a ponytail. "You know I wasn't kidding when I said I would have let all those people see me just so I can have you in my mouth."

"Is that so?" 

"Mhm," she hummed as stood up. 

She gave him his back as she slowly pulled down her jeans. She adjusted her panties, pulling them up her hips to accentuate her ass more, and got back down on her knees. She reached forward and undid Jack's pants. He lifted his hips allowing her to pull them down along with his boxer-briefs. She grabbed them and tossed them aside. 

"Damn, you weren't kidding when you said that you were about to bust." Miriam noted as she reached for his cock. 

"I told– fuck, Miriam." Jack cursed when he felt her tongue circle around his tip. 

She spit on it and slowly jerked him off with both hands. She slipped him as far as she could take him. He let out an incoherent sound until she reached the back of her throat. She did it a few more times, egging him on. She pulled away, with a trail of saliva spilling from the corner of her mouth, and kissed down his length. 

Jack sat back in amazement watching her slip him back in her mouth. Miriam always left him in awe. She presented herself with such grace and elegance. It was hard to believe that she was the same girl that was giving him the sloppiest head he's ever received. It turned him on more that only he had the privilege to see this side of her. That she was his lil secret and her was hers.

"Jack," she called to him in a soft voice.

"Yes?" He asked, quirking an eyebrow at her. 

He knew that tone all too well. It was the one she used when she wanted to get her way with something because she knew he was going to say no when she'd ask him for something. 

"Can you please fuck my face?" She leaned her head on his thigh and gently rubbed the other one. She met his gaze with a pout. "Please."

"You always gotta get your damn way, huh." He mumbled, shaking his head.

Jack moved to the edge of the armchair and spread his legs more. He bent down and pulled her up her neck, claiming her lips with his. He let go of her neck and gathered her curls with one of his hands while Miriam unclasped her bra flinging it behind them. She got on all fours, finding it more comfortable for her get her face fucked than kneeling. 

"Ready?" He asked her.

"Yes." She nodded eagerly. 

"If it's too much–"

"I'll squeeze your wrist three times, I know." She cut him off, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "We've been over it hundreds of times."

"I'mma about to fuck that snarky attitude of yours."

"Please do." She smiled sweetly.

Jack didn't bother to give Miriam a response. He tightened the grip around her hair and guided his cock back in her mouth. They moaned in unison. He slowly bobbed her head up and down his length, getting used to her mouth. She took him a little deeper each time. He still wasn't a fan of deep throat but lucky for him, Miriam knew what she was doing and didn't take him with such brute force. Several minutes passed and Jack began to thrust his hips up as he held Miriam's head in place. 

In front of them was a full length mirror mounted on the wall. Jack noticed one of Miriam's hands rubbing herself over her soaked through panties. He loosened his grip around her hair. 

"Take them off." He motioned to her panties. "I wanna see you play with your pussy while I fuck your pretty mouth."

Miriam nodded. She rolled over and yanked them off, getting back into the position she was previously in. She opened up her legs more so that Jack could get a better of her. She opened her mouth to him, letting him know they can continue where they left off. She whimpered in pleasure as he slid in her mouth once more. 

Jack's grunts filled the suite, egging Miriam on as she rubbed her clit. She was pleasantly overwhelmed, but she needed more. So she inserted her ring and middle fingers inside of herself. She thrusted her fingers at the same pace Jack fucked her mouth. A hard smack on her ass, caught her off guard and brought her to her climax. 

Jack pulled her away from him, allowing her to fully come. She rested her head on the inside of his thigh. Her moans were raspy, almost inaudible. She pulled her fingers out and offered them to Jack. He gladly took them and licked them clean. He brushed back some of her curls, making her sigh contently. 

"We can stop here." Jack said. 

Miriam shook her head. "You haven't come yet which is why we're doing this in the first place." 

"I don't want you to think you're obligated just because you came, Miriam."

"I don't feel obligated to go down on you. I genuinely like sucking your dick. If I didn't, I wouldn't be down here getting rugburns on my knees."

"Are you sure?" 

"I'm a hundred percent positive."

"Alright, you can do your thing."

"Yay!" She clapped happily.

Miriam’s eyes never left Jack’s as she took him back in her mouth. His stomach began to contract after a few bobs, letting her know that he was close. Slowly, she pulled him out of her mouth until only his tip rested on her tongue. She widened her eyes, making her look more innocent as she stroked him. 

"Fuck Miriam, let me come on that pretty face." He murmured.

She nodded and sucked his tip one last time before jerking him off. She closed her eyes, not wanting to get Jack's release on her eye like last time. She felt warm streaks land on her cheek, sliding down her neck while Jack repeated her name as he came. 

Miriam sat back on her knees once Jack's climax ceased. She was a sight for sore eyes. Mascara ran down her flushed cheeks. Her lips were plump, swollen from them meeting the base of his cock every time he shoved her head down as he thrusted his hips up. Her hair clung to her neck thanks to Jack's release and her sweat. 

"You okay?" Jack asked her, noticing her zoned out state.

"Yeah," Miriam nodded. She got up and sat on his lap. "Thank you, for doing all that. You didn't have to, I know you don't like head like that." 

"I know. Like you said, if I really didn't want to, I wouldn't have let you go down on me." He said, wrapping his arms around her. 

Miriam nodded in agreement. She nuzzled his chest. She tried stifling a yawn but exhaustion finally hit her. She was on set for a few hours before she flew out to Phoenix with Kendall. She didn't even nap during the four hour flight because she was so excited to see Jack. 

"Let's shower and get ready for bed." He said, helping her up. 

"Can you fuck me against the shower glass?" She asked as they made their wya to the bathroom.

"No, knowing you, you'd want me to twist you up into a pretzel when I fuck you and that shit is dangerous."

***

Jack stifled a yawn as he entered the hotel room. He was in Portland. The bus had arrived at the hotel just before midnight. It was almost six in the morning and he had set an alarm at four to go with Urban to get some doughnuts at 'Voodoo Donuts' for Miriam. It was her birthday and he wanted to surprise her with one of her favorite sweet treats. 

"Where'd you go?" Miriam asked him as he climbed to bed. "I got cold without you here to hold me."

"I'm pretty sure you're only cold because you're sleeping in a thong and tank top." Jack murmured, pulling her to his chest. He kissed her shoulder. "Happy birthday moviestar."

"Thank you, but can we hold off until the sun's out?" She asked.

Jack hummed in response. He pulled the blanket, her tiger blanket that he stole from her before he left for tour, he wanted to have a piece of her to hold while he slept, over their bodies. They both fell back into a deep slumber. 

Around seven, Jack’s phone began ringing. He cursed and reached behind him to the nightstand. Miriam stirred awake when she felt him get out of bed. She spotted him in the small living room area leaning against the back of the couch with the most annoyed look that she was all too familiar with. It usually happened when they were hanging out and Neelam would call him over to the studio. He hung up and walked back to bed with an apologetic look. 

“What’s up?” she asked him as he plopped on the bed. 

“Neelam scheduled three fucking radio interviews in the morning and one in the afternoon.” he mumbled into his pillow. 

‘Of course she did.’ Miriam thought to herself, but she ended up responding, “And that’s bad because?” 

“Because it’s your birthday and I brought you out here to spend it with you.” he turned his head to look at her. 

“Jack, it’s okay. This isn't the first time I’m spending my birthday alone.” she leaned forward to brush back some of his curls.

“You’re not making it better.” He huffed and rolled onto his back, pulling her to his lap. 

“I know what can make you feel better.” she said, pressing herself down on the growing tent in Jack's crotch. "Can I ride you?" 

"I'd like that." He nodded. 

Miriam nodded. 

"But I want you to ride my face first.” he said, moving her hands away from his boxer-briefs. 

"Oh my god, no!" She giggled.

"Why?" He sat up. 

"I have thick thighs." She mumbled, embarrassed. 

"So? I like thick thighs, especially yours." Jack murmured, kissing down her jaw as one of his hands crept inside her thighs. "I can tell it's warm. Can I please dive in?" 

"If you–"

"Hold that thought." He cut her off. 

Lyric inspiration hit him. Jack got out of bed and went where his backpack was. He unzipped a hidden pocket and pulled out a leather bound journal. He flipped through it until he found the page he titled 'Blade of Grass', quickly scribbling 'Thick thighs and I can tell it's warm, baby, can I please dive in?'. 

"You good?" Miriam asked him as he shoved his journal back in backpack.

"Yeah," he nodded. He looked down at her thong covered sex and smirked, "that pussy of yours just gave me some inspiration for a song." 

"I don't even wanna know." She scrunched up her face, cringing.

"Are you still riding my face?" He asked, laying on his back. 

"If you wanna die." 

"It'll be the most honorable way to go." 

*

Jack checked his phone for the nth time. He was waiting for Miriam back in the suite because three hours before they had to be at the venue. He wanted to spend some time with her. A few days prior he had found a bakery near the venue he was performing at and ordered a small red velvet cake for Miriam. It was her favorite. 

Jack tossed his phone on the bed hearing the keycard reader ping. Miriam entered the suite struggling to carry several shopping bags, so he got up and held the door open for her.

"Hi!" she said, tossing the bags on the ground. She turned behind her and grabbed the other bags Beto was holding for her along with a suitcase. "Thanks Beto, I'll text you later to head out."

She closed the door with her hips and placed the rest of her bags with the others. Miriam toed her sneakers off and took off her The North Face fleece jacket, staying in the white cropped white beater top she wore under. She pushed Jack on the bed and straddled his hips.

"I see you kept yourself busy." Jack nodded behind her at the large pile of Saint Laurent and Mario's shopping bags. 

"After I watched Oscar Isaac die naked in Dune, I did some light shopping." She said, running hands over his chest.

"That's what you call light shipping?" He asked, arching an eyebrow at her.

"Yeah," she nodded, "you should see me in Milan and Paris. I empty the stores." A few seconds passed when she jumped off his lap and rummaged through her shopping bags. "That reminds me, I got you something."

He shook his head. He didn't like it when she spent money on him. "Miriam,"

"And before you're all 'it's your birthday you shouldn't have bought me something', this is purely for selfish reasons because I plan on wearing it when I visit you." She pulled out a white puffer jacket. Handing it to him, she said, "Mira, it's Moncler."

"I know these cost over twelve hundred. I can’t accept it.” he protected. 

"Jack, if it makes you feel better we can say it's my jacket that I let you borrow." Miriam reasoned sarcastically.

"Fuck that," he frowned.

"You're helpless. Just take the fucking jacket." 

"Fine." He grumbled, slipping on the jacket. It fit him perfectly. It wasn't too big but it was loose enough in the way he liked. "Thanks for the jacket."

"And maybe we can go to my grandpa's place in Aspen and I can ride you while wearing it." 

"I'll buy you some snow boots so– wait, your grandpa has a place in Aspen?"

"Yeah, my white grandpa's family owns a small chain of ski lodges in Colorado. When they cut my grandpa off, he was lucky to already have his own lodge-cabin thing. We always go there for Christmas with my other grandparents."

"Why was your grandpa cut off?"

"They're racist and hate my abuela because she's Mexican." She shrugged. "Now let's change the topic. Did you figure out what song you're cutting so you can perform 'Yikes'?"

"How'd you know I'm performing that?"

"I overheard you and your DJ last night on the bus." 

"Damn I was gonna surprise you." He fake- pouted.

"Oh well." Miriam giggled, pulling the jacket's hood over Jack's head.

"This got awkward." He pointed out after a few seconds of awkward silence.

"It did."

"C'mon let's cut your cake." He said pulling over to sit on the bed. 

"Stop! You didn't get me a cake." Her eyes brimmed with tears. 

He nodded. "Red velvet too." 

"Fuck Jack!" She cried. She wrapped her arms around his body. "You're the best,  you know that right?"

He smirked proudly. "I do." 

He propped his phone at the vanity so he could record them while Miriam facetimed her parents on her phone. Everyone sang to her and she blew out the candles. She talked to parents while Jack got his things ready for tonight's show. Miriam hung up half an hour later and started to get ready. 

Since she didn't get the dresses custom made, like she does when she buys at the Paris YSL store, they didn't fit as well as she liked. The champagne colored crushed velvet dress didn't even have adjustable straps and it made her breasts look weird. Miriam ended up going with the outfit she had originally packed. It was a black open front, long sleeve Jacquemus crop top that was held together in the front with a dainty gold plaque of the brand's logo and dusty pink high waisted cargo pants that matched the laces of her Dutch Green Air Jordans. 

She then went to the bathroom to do her hair and makeup. She had straightened her hair earlier that day, but it rained thus making her hair curly once more. So she just clipped it back and did two little braids to frame her face. For makeup, she went with a more laid back look with a subtle eyeliner, soft contour, and some gloss. She felt her eyes a bit naked so she decided to put on some lashes that weren't too out there. 

"Miriam, your phone's blowing up." Jack called from the bed as she tried to connect the strip to her inner corner. 

"Give me a sec!" She yelled back as she wiggled the tweezers. 

"Holy shit!" He exclaimed. 

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me?" He said walking in the bathroom.

"'Peraté…okay, got it." She said finally getting her eyelashes on. 

"Is this what you were doing when you facetimed me in the orange wig?" Jack handed her his phone. 

He remembered when she left for fashion month, she had to leave New York three days in because she needed to be in London for three weeks. Every time she’d call to facetime him, she’d be in a ginger wig similar to one Rihanna wore in 2015. Jack would have asked her about it, but he was too excited to hear her voice that he’d forget to ask. 

Miriam looked down and saw a picture of her and Robert Pattinson on set for The Batman. She remembered that scene specifically. It was when her character and Bruce Wayne arrived at some funeral and were making small talk to someone who was running for mayor. It was posted from The Batman's official instagram account. The caption said 'happy birthday to @mdominguezmiller, our very Pamela Islas.' Poison Ivy’s original name is Pamela Isley but because Miriam’s Mexican, they changed her last name to fit her. The writers even hinted that her character was bisexual because some adaptations make her straight.

"No mames." She said to herself. 

"Why didn't you tell me you were going to be in the fucking Batman?" Jack asked her. "That's amazing!"

"Well I signed an NDA and I have at most like five minutes of screen time. I didn't want to risk them getting cut. I didn't want to be like Madison Beer when she was like 'I was supposed to be in the video' when thank u next came out." She explained as she read through the comments.

She frowned. A bunch of people, mostly white men, are saying how she doesn't fit the character because she's not white and how they should have gone with a white woman and not some 'wetback' for diversity points. Others were saying she got the role because of her mom and how it wasn't fair. Her mom didn't even know she auditioned until she got the role. She auditioned back in 2019 while she was filming 'In the Heights'. The general public didn't even know she existed. Her instagram at the time was private. She barely had 20k subscribers on YouTube, all she did were fashion reviews and shopping hauls. Thanks to her joining in on one of Claudia's reaction videos in mid 2020, she started getting more subscribers. And that was because Claudia had to use a clickbait title. It wasn't until September of last year that she got on tiktok because she did one with her brother. Lastly her Twitter is a mess and tweets out the most absurd shit. Obviously, it's not like they hired her because of her social media presence.

"Here." She said to Jack, handing him his phone back. 

His face softened, noticing her frown. "What's wrong?" He asked her. 

"Nothing." She sighed, hopping down the counter. 

"Miriam," he lifted her chin so she could look at him. "Tell me."

"People are being stupid in the comments." She sighed. "They're saying I only got to be Poison Ivy because of my mom and there are a few racist comments saying I can't be Poison Ivy because I'm latina. It's fine, people are dumb." 

"Hey, you should feel proud that you get to star in one of the most anticipated movies ever. People never know the hard work you put it in no matter how hard you try to show them what you do to be where you are. They don't care, they just wanna talk shit. Trust me I would know, me and Nas have a whole song about it." 

"I'm gonna repost some stuff then delete instagram for a few hours." 

"Sounds like a plan. While you're at it, you should see what I posted." He grinned mischievously.

Miriam eyed him suspiciously then searched him up. His account loaded and she tapped on his instagram story. It was a picture of her with her cheeks stuffed with mille-feuille while she and Jack listened to the director of the Creme de la Creme promo tour video. At the bottom it said, 'happy birthday moviestar.'

"Of all fucking pictures you could've posted Jack"

*

“Noise canceling my ass.” Urban murmured as the couple exited the storage closet. 

Miriam smacked Jack’s arm. “Te dije, he was going to hear us.” 

Jack laughed and placed his arm around Miriam as they walked back to his dressing room. 

“I don’t even know how you two were still horny. I heard you go at it at least three times back at the hotel.” Urban asked, lighting up a blunt.

“Jack we gotta get you mic'd up.” Chris waved him over. 

“Shit, I gotta go.” Jack sighed. 

“It’s okay. Me and Urban are gonna go to our balcony seats with Beto, who’s saving them for us.” she said.

“Keep an eye on her.” Jack said, doing his handshake on her.

“I don’t need a babysitter.” she frowned.

“Miriam, you have a bodyguard,” he argued.

“It’s different.” 

“Enlightened me.”

“Don’t you have to get ready to go on stage?”

Jack rolled her eyes. He leaned down and gave her a peck. He gave Urban another hand shake then went to where Chris and some crew members were. 

“I gotta get my camera, c’mon.” Urban motioned Miriam to follow him. 

They flashed security backstage passes and entered the greenroom. Neelam, Metta and the blonde girl that was at the Suns and Warriors game were hanging out by the couch. They stopped talking when they saw her enter the room. They made a face and talked in quiet voices. Not wanting to make some awkward small talk, Miriam went to the snack table and grabbed a slice of pizza. She was hungry. After she and Jack cut her cake, Jack showed her how proud he was of her for her movie role with his tongue and cock. Then when they got to the venue, her and Jack went to go see The Homies perform before they snuck out for a quickie. 

“That isn’t for you. It’s for the people that actually work.” Neelam told her, startling her.

Miriam never felt so embarrassed in her life. “Oh, I’m sorry. I–”

“You what? You think that you deserve to get everything handed? If you want food, then go get some.” 

“You’re right. I apologize.” Miriam said coldly, trying to hold back tears. She dug in the front pocket of her pants, pulling out a wad of $100 bills. She counted five and tossed them on the table. “I’m sure that covers the slice. Urban, I’ll see you on the balcony.” 

Based on the fear in Neelam’s eyes, she had no idea Urban was in the room. Miriam exited the room not wanting to deal with her. She sniffled and wiped the few tears that rolled down her cheek. No one has ever talked to her the way Neelam had. When she came with Jack to drop off his things, he told her that she could herself to whatever and that he even got jalapeño kettle chips for her. 

“Miriam, hold up.” Urban called to her, jogging. He reached for her arm, stopping her. “What the fuck was that?”

“I’m sorry. Jack said that I could help myself. I should have asked.” She apologized.

“What?–That’s not…was that the first time Neelam has talked to you like that or have you had other run-ins with her?” he asked her. Miriam’s silence answered his question. “Does Jack know?”

“No, because it’s not a big deal.”

“You can’t be serious! She just went off on you unprovoked.” 

“Okay when you say it like that…”

“Bro,”

“Urban, she’s Jack’s manager. I’m not going to say anything because it’ll risk his career.” her eyes softened. “Please promise me, you’re not going to tell Jack.”

“Fine, but if some shit like this happens again, I’m telling him,” he warned her. 

They pinky promised and went to the balcony area. Beto was texting, ignoring the red head trying to make conversation with him. 

“Want some?” Urban asked her, offering his new blunt as they sat down.

“I don’t smoke.” Miriam said. She’s too paranoid for weed. Alcohol already made her anxious as is and to add weed into the mix, was not good for anyone. 

“You?” He offered it to Beto.

“On the clock.” Beto said. 

Miriam furrowed her eyebrows. “Since when do you smoke?”

“Miss Dominguez I have a life outside of making sure you don’t fight paparazzi.'' He said, sipping his water bottle.

“It was one time and it was before you were even hired.”

“Since I’ve been hired you haven’t had any incidents.”

*

“Can I post this?” Miriam asked Jack as he walked out of the bathroom in only a towel wrapped around him.

He leaned down to see her phone, tugging the towel off to dry himself. It was a selfie she took of them in the elevator when they were coming back from the show. Jack was in a black puffer jacket with his back to the camera. Miriam’s face was also hidden thanks to the hoodie she wore. 

“Go ahead,” he nodded, grabbing another towel to dry his hair.

“Okay, thank you.” 

Miriam skipped the opening credits to the new Bob’s Burgers episode she was binging on her laptop. She switched out of her camera roll to Instagram. She fixed the lighting in the picture then typed out her caption. ‘Happy to spend my Jordan year with my favorite person, and ty to everyone for the birthday wishes.🤍🤍🤍’ She hit post and then connected her phone to her charger.

Jack finally got in bed and pulled her to his chest. They ate some of the cake while they watched their show. After a few episodes, Miriam yawned, nuzzling her head against his chest. She lifted her head and brought her hands up to his chest so can rest her head on them. She looked up at Jack and gave him a soft smile.

"Thank you." She said, tenderly scratching his beard.

"For what?" He asked her. 

"For today, I know you were busy but you somehow made time for me. And I…" Miriam quickly clamped her mouth shut. 

She almost said a certain three worded sentence. A certain three worded sentence she's never said to any of her past partners. Except for Conner, the first boyfriend she had, and that massively backfired on her. Because of him she couldn't say them to Kaleob and she really adored him. And yet here she was ready to say them to Jack as Bob's Burgers played in front of them while they gorged on red velvet cake.

"You what? You kinda stopped talking." Jack said, bringing her back from her thoughts. 

"Oh, sorry" she giggled nervously. She cleared her throat. "I, um, I'm glad I got to be here with you. It's one of the best birthdays I've had in a while."

"Me too. I…I'm glad you had a great day despite everything."

Miriam pushed herself up and pecked his lips. He tucked a curl behind her ear and asked her, "What would you rate this birthday?"

"Definitely in my top twenty-three birthdays."

Taglist: @cherryxcreme​​ @youngharleezyxo​​ @deannaard​​ @meyocoko​​​ @babyharleezy​​  

[battlestar-royco]

okay i need people to stop pretending like mlm shows and wlw shows are supported, memed, and loved at anywhere near the same level in fandom at all ever again because every time a gay show with a slightly high concept hits tumblr it is literally discussed as the best show of the season, the sexiest craziest cuntiest, the most galaxy brained, important for gay rights show to exist.

basically any possible reason why someone could dislike it is actually a good thing. high camp is good because taking oneself too seriously nowadays is tired and we need to have fun. being grounded and serious is good because it shows the realities of life and should win awards. twisty and dark relationships are good because we love to see gays serving cunt. soft cute relationships for younger audiences are good because we need to fill that niche for younger queer people too. tragic endings are beautiful and thought provoking. etc.

and then literally the exact opposite is true for wlw shows. high camp wlw shows are rote and corny. grounded shows are pretentious. twisty relationships are toxic. soft relationships are boring. tragic endings are trauma porn. it's just a fact. people have every excuse in the book to not give wlw shows a chance, call them bad, or jump on the bandwagon of a smear campaign before they get their feet on the ground. meanwhile every single show where two men breathe somewhat sexily around each other thrives on this site because people act like it's pushing an entirely new boundary of genre and queer representation

[fictionadventurer]

The best way to review the first part of the presidents + wives letters book is to hand out awards.

Bubbliest Letter: Courtship letter from Abigail to John Adams

Most Exuberant Letter: Chester Arthur to his fiance Nell

Saddest Letter: Lucretia to James Garfield when she learned he was cheating on her while engaged

Goriest Letter: Rutherford B. Hayes describing Civil War battles to his wife

Most Creative Spelling: Rachel Jackson (My favorite is when "best" is spelled as "bhest")

Least Punctuation: Also Rachel Jackson (who used nothing but em-dashes)

Floweriest Love Letter: Woodrow Wilson to Edith Galt (who quotes an entire poem before the end of it)

Most Awkward Love Letter: The exact same letter by Woodrow Wilson, because it's a veiled-but-still-obviously "we just had sex" letter

Cutest Corniest Love Letters: Ronald to Nancy Reagan and Nancy to Ronald (Addressing a letter to "Darling Mommie Poo" is so corny, but also peak mid-century grandparent)

[pleuvoire]

kind of funny to be like "this book i never read that has a corny sense of humor i saw in some quotes WON AN AWARD. let that sink in. can you believe this. smh."

[stenka-razin]

Grammy Live Performances Reviewed

Dua Lipa: it was fine, but I don't remember much of it. Didn't help that I don't think I know these songs at all.

Luke Combs & Tracy Chapman doing Fast Car: Dunno why this was second, eyes were pissing tears immediately. This is one of better ideas for a Grammy Performances. You have all these artists under one roof, make 'em work together! Anyway, it was good.

SZA: SZA was good and the choreography was solid. I don't know much SZA though, but it sounded nice enough.

Billie Eilish: (sharp inhale into the mic) why (sharp inhale into the mic) did (sharp inhale into the mic) billie (sharp inhale into the mic) eilish (sharp inhale into the mic) sing (sharp inhale into the mic) like (sharp inhale into the mic) this? Seriously sounded like she ran a 5k before singing. Also I didn't like the song.

Miley Cyrus: Miley did Flowers, a song I think is whatever, but her performance was fine enough. Except she kept making incredibly cringe adlibs. Like when she admonished the crowd "don't act like y'all don't know this song." That became a running gag for us. Not great but I laughed a lot.

Olivia Rodrigo: If you buy the Olivia Rodrigo/Taylor Swift feud rumors, you'd half to imagine that she was quietly seething all night. She performed Vampire, a song allegedly about Taylor Swift, right before Taylor won an award they were both nominated for and announced a new album. Olivia proceeded not to win anything. Anyhow, her performance was fine, but the song is not my thing. She didn't overunder sing it like Billie or do stupid crowd engagement like Miley at least.

U2: U2 did a new U2 song. I don't super care, but always good to see them still remaining defiantly in their own lane. But really this was less about the music and more a glorified ad for Las Vegas' Sphere. I think I would throw up if I saw a show in that thing. Maybe that's the point. Dead & Co have a residency in there and I'm wondering how that'll be. It seems like a venue built for artist with sick ass laser light shows. Not meandering psyched tinge bluegrass jams. I just don't get Vegas I guess. Last time I was there for a layover that took forever and some dude attempted to shoot his family in the parking lot of the airport. Bad vibes man. Oh I was talking about U2?

Stevie Wonder, Annie Lennox, Wendy & Lisa, Jon Batiste, Ann Nesby, Cory Henry, Jimmy Jam & Terry Lewis, and Fantasy: Woo! Yeah this was the immemorial segment, and really it was a series of consecutive performances. Notably, Stevie Wonder dueted with Tony Bennett's ghost. Annie Lennox did Nothing Compares 2 U and called for a ceasefire, and it climaxed in Fantasia's big Proud Mary romp. Also for some reason in the middle we got a 20 second clip of Jimmy Buffet. No other deceased performer got a standalone sound bite so it was weird. All in all it was pretty good, though ran sacharine as you can expect these in memorium segments to.

Joni Mitchell, Brandi Carlisle, others: Joni's still got it! She did Both Sides Now, backed by a band consisting of wiki tells me are accomplished musicians int heir own right.

Travis Scott & Playboi Carti: This SUCKED! First off, both these dudes music is entirely production driven. That's fine (I mean, more so for Scott since he actually does a lot of his own beats) but it absolutely does not translate to compelling live shows. Travis Scott is so fucking corny, he's out here in his fake muscles trying to hulk out, when he looks like a withered pillhead. Also I have no idea why you'd book a performer where every other line needs to be muted out of the livestream. Anyway, he can't rap for shit and this was god awful.

Burna Boy, 21 Savage, Brandy: This was great! I didn't know much Burna Boy but this was a fun performance and everyone was very good. Brandy is still great?

Billy Joel: It's no surprise Billy Joel can still perform. For all the to do about him not putting out new music for decades, it overlooks that he's still on the road constantly. But yeah, the new Billy Joel song sounds like an old Billy Joel song, so that's probably for the best. Then he did You Might Be Right, one of those consummately uncool songs that I enjoy anyway.

[corniebooks]

2022 Future Cornie Awards

If you were wondering where the 2021 Cornie Awards are, I intend on releasing them Friday March 31.

That said, I need recommendations on what to read this year to prepare for the 2022 awards. I do a lot of my reading from books I check out from the library. I do have a small budget for buying books, but I usually wait for a recommendation from a source that I know has a shared taste or a new release by a beloved author. I did have a trial subscription to Kindle Unlimited last year and I might do a month of it this year if there are a decent number of recommendations for those books.

Here are the 2022 books I have read so far, let me know what else I should read.

Romance

Spin Me Right Round by David Valdes

Something Fabulous by Alexis Hall

Not That Complicated by Murray Isabel

Blaine for the Win by Robbie Couch

Awfully Ambrose (Bad Boyfriends Inc #1) by Lisa Henry

Horribly Harry (Bad Boyfriends Inc #2) by Lisa Henry

A Dash of Salt and Pepper by Kosoko Jackson

Fantasy

The Sword-Witch’s Heart by Tavia Lark

So This Is Ever After by F.T. Lukens

Prince of the Sorrows by Kellen Graves

Prince and Assassin by Tavia Lark

The Dead Romantics by Ashley Poston

Obsidian Island by Arden Powell

Babel: An Arcane History by R.F. Kuang

A Taste of Gold and Iron by Alexandra Rowland

A Restless Truth by Freya Marske

Science Fiction

Ocean’s Echo by Everina Maxwell

Literary

This Way Out by Tufayel Ahmed

Graphic Novel/Comic

House of El: The Enemy Delusion by Claudia Gray

Welcome to St Hell: My Trans Teen Misadventure by Lewis Hancox

[bettsfic]

oh sam clafin is so so pretty in djats. tbh i wasn't the biggest fan of the book & the show is a tad too corny/tropey for me so far, but still an entertaining easy watch with pretty people & fun music. it is very funny seeing them try to pass off sam claflin as like a 21 year old though lmao very how do you do fellow kids. i also have so many Thoughts i will keep to myself about him as an actor and about him repeatedly being miscast as a romantic/slutty/funny lead when he should be a dramatic villain evil character actor, which leads to him way overacting in a show like djats, but overall it's still fun to see him on screen if only for my finnick nostalgia. please do share your thoughts if you end up watching!

an entertaining easy watch with pretty people and fun music sounds good to me! right now i'm looking for things to watch that i won't want to write fic about. my "ooh i wanna write this" list is getting unmanageably long. my next major self writing lesson is going to be mastering the <10k story while still hitting all the emotional beats i'm interested in.

hard agree, sam claflin is definitely a character actor who is often miscast, but while i think he does evil villains really well, i think he's best at morally complex characters with a lot of layers. i know thg is probably his most commercial role but his portrayal of finnick is just startlingly good (and also "the hunger games movies are great, actually" is a hill on which i will perish). he was also phenomenal as hawkins in the nightingale where, to your point, he's absolutely the evil villain, but even though he has no redeeming qualities whatsoever, somehow his performance doesn't completely eject the viewer. (well, it definitely ejected some viewers during the awards circuit. the beginning of that film is one of the most brutal first acts of any movie i've ever seen.) my ideal role for him is one where he plays a villain whose character arc is redemption and self-actualization. but unfortunately that character trope is all but dead in american media.

i do feel bad for character actors who are hot. i remember a few years ago when sam rockwell won an award for three billboards outside ebbing missouri, he said something like [sic] "this is the worst thing that can happen to a character actor." so actors like cillian murphy and ben whishaw were serially miscast early in their careers.

(my go to example of the hypocrisy of acting awards is the florida project. willem dafoe got all this acclaim for his performance as a hotel maintenance guy, when the main characters seriously seemed like they were plucked up from a floridian walmart and filmed for a reality show. i mean, those performances were so seamlessly real that nobody even remembers them. fish tank is another example. i've seen that movie half a dozen times, and it's remembered for michael fassbender as the hot fucky step dad character, but katie jarvis as mia is just such an emotionally agonizing and vulnerable performance which deserved far more praise than it got.)

anyway! having watched nearly all of sam claflin's filmography, i do hope he never has to do another me before you or love, rosie again.

looking forward to watching daisy jones and the six once the season is out in full!

[cheesecake-beech]

I just wanna know what if the vicious 6 was in a relationship (I cant think of any)

Like, w another member o the group, or like, a y/n character? Or just WHAT IF they were in a relationship w someone?

But here are some for IF they were in a relationship, w like. someone, or a y/n character

long post lmao

this was super fun to write lmfao

Belle- Doesn't make it obvious that she's in a relationship. At first anyway. Her lover would probably have to have a high profile, like her, or live up to her standards. OR- worship her, like, smother her in compliments just to SAY "yeah I'm dating Belle 🤠" Like, in a smooth fucker way. Like her side piece just to make her look good lmfao, Don't worry they'd probably get to hold her hand while attending some event in public. That'd awarding enough 🤠🤠🤠

simp If they were upset, she'd probably let them cry into her lap while petting their head. Probably calling them some kind of pet name to try and calm them down. bc crying is annoying DFSHGSHDGJSHGJ/hj

Jean- He'd probably be really awkward, in public. Or around the team w them. But in private he'd make corny flirtatious comments, hold them by the waist do that French "hon hon hon mon amour" and say some sappy lovey dovey shit like that hgfhasgfjdshgf and like, give you roses, some French stuff like that He's every French stereotype when it comes to love This man panics anytime he sees them upset, he doesn't know if it was his fault, or something he did/said, or if it's just a bad day, But once he gets calmed down he'll calmly ask whats wrong, give them a warm embrace and let them vent

Sven- THIS BOI, this himbo, he will SMOTHER them in hugs n' cuddles every chance he gets, he will probably be skating and ZOOM IN out of nowhere and sneak up behind them, just to pick them up to hug. He's probably one to smother his face into the crook of peoples necks 2 🥺🥺 He also probably gives piggy backs if they were to ask If they were upset, Sven would also get upset be like "Oh No D:" he'd ask what happened, pick them up, wrap them up, (make them into a burrito lmao) and listen to them, let them talk. He'd listen. While he'd holding them wrapped up in the blanket.

Stronghold- ANOTHER HIMBO, this man. Gets absolutely flushed and embarrassed every time they faceplant their faces into his man tiddies. His tiddies are off limits to only them. KJEFSKSAGHDFGSFSJG He also gets embarrassed when he gets asked for cuddles. because, y'know, huge honkas. JDSHFHSADGFHSG But he likes cuddles, he likes holding others in his arms (without breaking them) If they're upset or sad, he'd probably be very hesitant to poke at it. But once he sees how sad they are, he'd probably slowly sit down next to them. Pat their head, rub their back. Just small little reassuring things until their ready to talk, or just hug (with their face in his chest dskhgfskjfdghfhgj)

Wild Knuckles- This old guy needs some love. Even if he doesn't want to admit it. Lonely™ Will proTECC them at all costs (cuz this bitch immortal like god damn). Says he doesn't need help when doing something, cracks his back the next second. They probably just sit by his fire, drinking coffee, talking about arson, books, music, idk This man hates to see them upset, but doesn't really know what to do to help, but he'll sit with them and he'll let them cry into his shoulder/lap. If they're hurt, THIS GRANDPA WILL FKING MURDER WHOEVER HURT THEM/srs then he'll make u some tea

Nunchuck- She's to holy for that

[roughentumble]

written in the stars wip? 👀 so glad I'm not the only without super detailed titles asdkfl mine are like 'learning', 'sleepy'

my titles are generally even LESS descriptive than this, 99% of my works are entitled variations of "ugh why am i so self-indulgent" because for some reason i get embarrassed writing out my ideas unless i somehow Explain In The Title that yes, indeed, i know writing is a little embarrassing. then i go in later and give them vague titles when they start getting confusing, all being named the same thing XD

anyway. CONGRATULATIONS you stumbled on the non-witcher crackship fic from like before 2018!!!! 🎉 the pairing issss *drumroll*.......... max rockatansky/peter quill!! i remember my logic being "i want to put max rockatansky in space. i want him to kiss a boy. star-lord is, to my knowledge, 1) in space and 2) a guy and 3) was the first one that came to mind, so he's the big winner". looking at the file this thing is..... jeez, i somehow wrote 5k words about this way back when, according to the software. i'll put the logistical breakdown i wrote for myself here, then under the cut i’ll put..... basically everything i wrote, give or take, because this is the only time it’s seeing the light of day anyway

1) the premise

An au so extreme none of the characters are recognizable

Like. Apparently in canon the world went to shit while MAX WAS A NORMAL ADULT WITH A COP JOB???? he's a cop?????????

Like. I guess thats a thing. Who knows. Anyway my point is, thats not relevant here. He kind of knows that he's on earth but like, no one alive was around for when earth went all Fucked, that was a looooooooong time ago. And some people have had old knowledge passed down through oral tradition, but most books are ruined or at least really hard to come by, and some of the knowledge has been warped by time. like, irl we have awesome communities that have INCREDIBLE oral records, but here you also just have folks who don't have time to remember correctly, or make up bullshit to sound cooler, or like. Like you don't have the same communities that are required to properly maintain oral traditions, and when you do they tend to be closed off since that's how they stay safe from all the Bullshit.

ALSO also they're kinda considered crazy, since theyre weird hermits who never talk to outsiders and their knowledge is a little kooky by wasteland standards.

Because thats the impression I was under when I watched fury road, so, thats, what it is here!

Quill was stolen as a kid, but not from earth, cuz, thats not. A thing. No more. Earth is a wasteland! some scientists saw that earth was going to hell, and started a project probably called something real cheesy like "the new eden project" and then they packed up a ton of people onto a spaceship and sent it out into the Great Beyond. at some point on the trip they had some awful bullshit go down, they got thrown off course, and then through other random bullshit they loose track of their old course and have no clue where earth is. They lose their old path in the expanse of space(that seems easy enough to do imo) and after some continued planet hopping, eventually settle on a viable planet(probably called some corny spaceage junk like "eden prime")

quill was born on EDEN PRIME, and no one on eden prime knows how to get to or remembers earth(it was so long ago). some scientists want info on Terra Classique(tm), also theres general like "if you find earth you get an Award/get into guiness book of new world records", and also like it's got a weird air of mystique surrounding it. no one really, like, hardcore cares, but everyone's a little curious about it? it feels a little fake and mythlike.

also everyone knows about aliens, too, its an integrated part of society. nothin to worry about on that front.

SO quill accidentally stumbles on earth, not knowing its earth(maybe??? i'll have to fiddle with some logistics on this, but I think it'll come down to"it's one tiny speck in the whole of space, so the likelihood that you'll just happen upon it when you have full 3d maneuverability is just pretty damn low) and helps out max. Max eventually lets it slip it's earth(not knowing its A Thing) and peter flips out like "YoUrE a TeRrAn?!?!?!?!?!? A FOR REAL REALSIES ACTUAL FACTUAL TERRAN???? BORN AND BRED?????? AHHHH????????!?!??!??!? we are going to be RICH, we are going to have our names IN THE HISTORY BOOKS, we FOUND EARTH, holy SHIT"

Also they grow together probably, and max heals from his Garbage Planet and is Entranced by Eden Prime, maybe folks from eden prime go to try and fix up earth/terra/homeworld/whatever, maybe not, idk. actually that sounds like a great way for things to go terrible from multiple angles, very quickly. but still. Stuff like that. Also they fuckkkkkkk because theyre two handsome men and I am Gay! merry xmas thats my idea.

2) the snippets

"Fuck!" Quill exclaims, snatching his hand away from the offending panel and shoving a slightly sandy finger into his mouth to suck. He glares up, but the tangle of wires seems completely unrepentant.

He grumbles softly to himself as he wiggles out from under his ship gracelessly. His movements work at least two handfuls worth of sand up into his jacket, and it leaves behind a thin layer of coarse irritation when he finally sits up and the bulk of it pours back out. He curses again at this, and tries to shake it out without much success.

This planet-- or at least, this particular corner of it-- is a fucking hellhole, if you ask him.

Sand's getting into every nook and cranny of his ship's equipment like it's its' personal mission to muck up the Milano's hardware, the star he's currently orbiting seems intent on turning the desert sand to glass, and he's yet to see a single sign of life in the days he's been parked here. He's hot and irritable and sweating and filthy and, worst of all, bored. Bored and lonely. Fuck it, he thinks to himself bitterly, it's not a core problem, anyway. He kicks the panel shut and crouches down to screw it back shut. The angle's awkward, but he's tired of being on his back.

He's just gathered and stowed his tools, intent on high-tailing it off this godforsaken rock, when a sound starts rolling over the sand dunes. He pauses at the top of the ramp, and it's silent for a long moment. Quill wonders, briefly, if he's starting come down with a nasty case of cabin fever, but then-- There it is again-- It sounds a bit louder this time, a gentle rumble creeping across the vast expanse, and... Well, it could be nothing. It's probably nothing. He says this to himself a few times, turns away from the open door and everything. This planet'll be a speck on his horizon in seconds. But...

But he's curious, dammit. So, with excitement slowly starting to creep up around the edges, he puts on his helmet and hops on a speeder, grinning from ear to ear. Finally, something interesting.

[insert “quill saves max with space guns” scene here]

+++

Quill is woken from his daze by a flurry of movement, and instead of 'good morning' he gets his own blaster in his face. So much for gratitude.

After he'd gotten the man back to his ship, he'd cleaned and patched him up as best he could. He was still pretty filthy, since cleaning any part of him other than his wounds had seemed like a breech of privacy, but otherwise he had been set for the time being. All that was left was to wait for him to recover and wake, so Quill'd taken the opportunity to rest up himself on the bunk across from his guest's, leaving the ship on auto-pilot. Now he's been woken up(rude), had half of his favorite set of guns stolen(double rude), and has had his stunning display of hospitality thrown back in his face(triple rude, the charm). He becomes distantly aware that at some point, while he was still getting his bearings and not entirely cognizant, the man had demanded Quill let him leave.

"Looks like you're up." He says, raising an eyebrow. The man doesn't look amused, just shoves the gun more incessantly into Quill's face. "Hey, whoa, easy," Quill says, hands raised to chest-height in mock-surrender. There's a tense silence where they both just stare at each other, then he snaps into action, using one hand to smack the gun to the side and drawing his second blaster with the other. The man squeezes the trigger a moment too late, firing into the wall, and he scuttles backwards immediately, slamming back against the other wall in an effort to get space between the two of them.

Minutes tick by excruciatingly slowly as they stare each other down. The man gets increasingly agitated as the standoff wears on, glancing around the room in search of an opening, but the bunks are essentially situated in a hallway, just long enough that there's nowhere for him to duck for cover if he makes a break for it. Plus, he's accidentally gotten wedged up against the corner of the cot, which puts him at a rather severe tactical disadvantage. Finally, he grits out the words, "I won't be your blood bag." His lips curl in disgust around the words.

"Blood bag?" Quill says incredulously. His brow furrows as he struggles to understand what that means. Suddenly, he remembers the tattoo spread across the stranger's back, the one he'd discovered while patching up his side. He hadn't fully understood the meaning when he found it, but now the words universal donor appear in his mind, unbidden. His stomach churns. He thinks I took him, his gun waivers, to keep as a slave. As a human meat locker. Quill looks at the man before him- really looks- and nothing about him is screaming 'aggressor'. He looks frightened. Pissed off also, obviously, but he can see it in the man's too-wide eyes, the tension wound up so tightly inside him that the tendons in his neck have popped out clear as day.

He looks like a caged animal; or, even worse, someone who's been made a slave before.

Quill sucks in a breath and then slowly sets his blaster on the ground and kicks it over to the man. He raises his hands in earnest this time. "I don't want to hurt you, and I won't make you a blood bag."

To say he looks unconvinced is an understatement. His eyes flick between the weapon on the ground and Quill. Another long moment passes and Quill's mentally berating himself for doing something so stupid- wondering if he somehow misread the situation and wracking his brain for how he could recover from the extreme tactical disadvantage he's just put himself in- when the man finally speaks up again. His voice cracks this time, it sounds like from disuse. "Why?"

"Why-- ? Because you were hurt. You would've bled out. I couldn't just leave you there, with those... those fuckin' vultures." Quill is met with an unimpressed glare. "Honestly! I just... I wanted to help because I wanted to help. Because it felt like the right thing to do." The man's expression remains unchanged. "Alright, fine, I guess if I'm being totally up-front, I also sorta' did it because those guys were pieces of shit and I wanted to kick their asses. But mostly it was the good guy thing!" The man's eyes are boring holes in him at this point, and he's a little freaked out because he's not entirely sure what he could say to convince this dude, but then the gun lowers. Not a lot, but it's enough to make Quill grin with relief and he nods enthusiastically, as if that'll encourage the man to complete the motion. "And I'll let you off wherever you want, I'll even put you back right where I found you if you want. I was just trying to help."

The movement is stilted and jerky, but his gun-arm finally drops to his side. He looks incredibly tired, pale from blood-loss, and he leans fully against the wall for support, reaching up to cup his injured side. Quill curses quietly and reaches out to help the man into bed. He springs back into action at the movement, blaster raised and eyes wide. "Easy, just helpin' you lay down." Quill presses forward, steadfastly ignoring the weapon as he places his hands on the other man's shoulders, again mentally crossing his fingers that he's reading the situation correctly and this is the right move. There's an initial flinch, but once he realizes Quill isn't hurting him, he sags like a puppet with his strings cut. Quill barely suppresses a grin- yay, progress!- and carefully maneuvers him in the right direction.  [[ALT:: Quill carefully maneuvers him in the right direction, easing him down onto the cot. It seems like the guy's in too much pain to be completely alert, and Quill makes a mental note to find some pain meds for him.]]

Once he gets the man situated, he moves to take his blaster back, and in response the man not only tightens his grip but growls. Actually growls at him! Quill can't fight back his grin this time, and he pats the man's shoulder appeasingly. [[ALT:: Quill can't help the amused tilt of his lips at that, but then he remembers all the reasons to be on guard that this stranger seems to have, and the expression fades. He pats the man's shoulder appeasingly.]] "It's alright," he says softly, "you keep it." He does pick up and holster the one on the ground, and he spares one more glance at the man on the bed before slipping out of the room.

About half-way back to the cockpit to check on the auto-pilot, a realization strikes him. "Dammit," He mutters, "I forgot to ask his name!" [[ALT:: Just cut entirely. Way too cheesy]]

+++

Quill's just finished fiddling around with the panel on the outer hull that had given him all that trouble on the sandy hellpit when the motion detector alarm beeps quietly inside his helmet. It felt a bit wrong, monitoring his guest's comings and goings, but he'd yet to wake up since their initial encounter and Quill was starting to worry that the man would never wake up, or that he'd try and sneak off with some of Quill's shit in one of his ship's escape pods(which, honestly, would just be downright rude.) [[ALT:: Maybe add; He was just worried for the guy's safety, and maybe also his things' safety a little bit.]] He figures(hopes, really) that if he uninstalls the motion detector after a single initial triggering, it won't be quite so wrong, morally speaking.

Now he scurries back inside to find the man cautiously investigating a panel set into the wall a few feet over and a set of stairs up from the bunks. It's pretty limited in its capabilities, so he isn't super worried about his guest breaking anything, but it is a rather cute sight. He acts like he's never seen a coms panel before, Quill muses to himself. He tries to telegraph his approach, but it still elicits a jump, unfortunately. The guy appears to relax once he sees it's Quill, but not by much. He nods a greeting, then turns back to the panel, seemingly intent on sussing out the mechanics of it.

"It's a coms panel." Quill leans his shoulder against the wall next to the panel, looking the screen over to see what the man's accessed. He looks lost, and he repeats the words 'coms panel' in a questioning tone, like he's testing them out. "I mean, technically it's a CDD panel, but see-dee-dee panel doesn't roll off the tongue as smoothly." He's going for joking, maybe even a little flirty, but instead Quill's met with a blank stare. The man seems to be able to navigate the panel just fine(no surprise there, the UI's pretty straightforward), but it doesn't seem like he's heard either term before(more surprising). "Communications and Diagnostics Display. CDD." He clarifies, and the man nods a bit, absorbing this information, though he still seems pretty curious about the full extent of the panel's capabilities. He's got plenty of time for that, though, and Quill is /dying/ for a little human interaction. "I'm Peter Quill, by the way. People call me Star-Lord." He puts on what he considers to be a fairly charming smile, but the look he gets back is completely flat and unimpressed.

"Star-Lord." He says it slowly, enunciates both syllables, as if it's a new nickname Quill thought up last night and he's trying to talk Quill out of it. Like saying it slower will somehow make Quill snap to his senses and realize it's the stupidest thing he's ever heard. Neither of those things happen. Instead, Quill just adopts a slightly exaggerated wounded expression.

"Aw, c'mon, no need to be a dick about it. Star-Lord's cool!" He insists. The man flicks his eyes up and down Quill once, then in a rather clipped tone hums 'mhm', as if to say 'yeah, you seem like the type who'd think that's cool.' Quill clicks his tongue against his teeth and crosses his arms over his chest. "What's your name, then, oh-arbiter-of-good-names?"

The man presses his lips together and turns back towards the coms panel. The seconds tick by as he taps back and forth between screens. It honestly seems like he's not going to answer, and Quill's just about given up on waiting when he hears a quiet, tentative, "Max."

Max. He smiles softly, turning the name over in his head. "You've got a point... That's a pretty good name." Max scrunches up his face, looking confused. "It suits you." He stares for a moment, like Quill is a puzzle that he's trying to solve, but then he just grunts his agreement and turns away again. "Star-Lord's still a cooler name, though." This prompts an eye-roll, and Quill grins from ear-to-ear.

+++

Max's fork stops halfway between his plate and his mouth. "We're... in space."

Quill nods like it's nothing special. "Yeah, we've been off-world a while now. Since I picked you up. And like I said before, I'll drop you off wherever you like." He speaks in between bites, taking no notice of Max's hesitance. "I'd go with the nearest hub, if I were you- put that awful ball in your rearview mirror and never look back- but if that's where you wanna' be dropped I can't really stop you, so. 'S your call." He shrugs with one shoulder and finally looks up.

Max doesn't even need to say anything. 'This fucker's crazy' is scrawled across his face clear as day.

Quill's own face screws up in confusion at that. "What? Seriously! I didn't want any scavengers harassing me while I fixed up my ship, so I hopped a few rocks over. Easier that way."

"Of course. Perfect sense." He doesn't sound like he believes Quill; he sounds like he's placating a delusional man. He turns back to his food, but he watches Peter warily out of the corner of his eye. Quill can feel a muscle in his eyebrow twitch.

"Seriously! What the hell, dude, my ship's not that much of a junker. She's perfectly functional and got us here no problem. Just needed a little tune-up's all. Which is the only reason I stopped on your planet in the first place."

"I'm sure your... ship... works fine."

Quill huffs. "Alright, c'mon." He grabs Max by the elbow and tugs him up, then ushers him out of the room and into the flight deck. He points emphatically at the scenery beyond the glass. "Does that look like the dust ball I pick you up off of?" Max goes very still beside him, and he can feel all of the muscles in Max's arm going tense. When he finally looks back, Max's face is rapidly loosing color and his breathing's become uneven. Peter's grip and his tone both soften, though he's still incredulous when he asks "Haven't you ever been off-world before?"

Max shakes his head minutely, eyes glued to the scene before him. He takes a few steps forward, reaches out to gently rest his fingertips on the windshield. "This isn't," he mumbles around numb lips, "It's... not possible." His face is twisted up in shock and disbelief.

Quill steps a little closer, nudges his shoulder against Max's and grins down at him, attempting to lighten the mood. "What, never expected a lovable rogue to swoop into your life and finally get you off that backwater hellhole of a planet?"

"I didn't know there were other planets," Max says quietly. A stunned silence falls over the room as Quill absorbs this information. He drags his eyes away from Max to stare in the same direction, taking in the he sights of the planet he'd stopped on. He'd stayed in the same system for a variety of reasons(he had no idea where Max wanted to be dropped off, he didn't want to waste fuel backtracking, he had a few minor repairs he was itching to finally get off his to-do list...) It was all fairly insignificant, and he suddenly finds himself wishing he'd taken them somewhere prettier.

He'd chosen a random moon, and from their vantage point on it they can see a planet striped with swathes of reds and browns, backlit by the distant sun. It's nice enough, but nothing breathtaking, the surface of the moon consisting mostly of dull, rocky formations. Quill gets bored of the view easily enough, but when he looks over he sees Max enraptured. His hand is fully pressed against the glass now and his lips are parted in awe as he openly drinks in the sight before him. He blinks slowly, inadvertently showing off long lashes, and his expression is so much more open than Quill has ever seen it. [[ALT:: cut; possibly. Or rewrite??? either lacks something or is unnecessary I think]]For an instant, he's entirely unguarded, and it leaves Quill's chest tight and his cheeks warm, swallowing reflexively at the sight. All of the sudden the view here seems more than adequate for taking his breath away.

He clears his throat awkwardly and tears his eyes away from Max, attempting to tamp down on his blush as best he can and mentally pulling away from such a cheesy thought.

+++

"So what's it short for?"

Max glances at Quill out of the corner of his eye, baster still held in front of his face in examination. He makes an inquisitive noise that seems to communicate What's what short for?

He's really good at that.

"Your name. Max," Quill explained, plopping down on the bed next to Max, who slowly lowered the blaster as he realized that Quill was intent of having, horror of horrors, yet another conversation. There was also a tensing of shoulders that implied he hadn't been invited to sit, but he either didn't notice or steadfastly ignored it. "What is it, Maximillion? Maxwell? Maximus?"

"Nothing," He said simply. "Just Max." He nodded slightly to himself then started examining the blaster again, seemingly under the impression that he'd completed the interaction.

Quill's face screwed up. "Just Max? Who names their kid just Max? You should at least do them the courtesy of making it something badass, like Maxium Overdrive or something. Oh!" The words had been rolling off his tongue, but he exclaimed when he processed the name he'd come up with. He looked excitedly over at Max.

"Just Max." He repeated, ignoring the now crestfallen Quill, who flopped back against the bed.

"You're no fun," He insisted. "No fun at all."

Max just hummed in agreement.

There was a beat of silence, before Quill broke it yet again. "What about last names? You can't be just Max, right?"

More silence, as Max debated whether or not to tell him. Quill slowly sat up on his elbows, watching Max's shoulder; he'd learned by now that rushing him would just turn him into a brick wall, though the waiting did make him fidget. Max slowly took in a deep breath, as if realizing this was a bad idea, then closed his eyes and said "Rockatansky."

Quill snapped to attention, sitting straight up. "Dude! That-- that name's fucking awesome, what the hell! Why don't you lead with Rockatansky? I'd never go by anything else, ever."

"Bit of a mouthful." Max explained. He tried to keep up his veneer of cool, detached disinterest, but the ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips when he quietly revealed "Some people call me Mad Max."

Quill's eyes got wide and he gasped theatrically. "Your name is Mad Max Rockatansky, and you introduce yourself as Just Max?" He lightly smacked Max on the shoulder. "Philistine!"

"Usually in a rush," Max explained with a shrug. "All those syllables'd get me killed." He flipped the blaster over to examine the other side, seemingly intent on having something to look at other than Quill. "Didn't exactly pick 'Mad' either. It was just given to me."

"Okay," Quill said patiently, then clapped a hand on Max's shoulder, "but it's super fucking badass, and you're a fool if you ever introduce yourself as anything other than Mad Max Rockatansky." He said it slowly, really emphasizing his words.

Max chuckled, amusement dancing in his eyes as the glanced sideways at Quill. He tilted his head back just slightly and said "Guess I'm a fool then, hmm?"

Quill felt the air rush out of his lungs at the sight. Something about the quality of the light, the way it wrapped around the edges of his profile, the glint in his eye, even the exact angle of his head... It was like a picture in a magazine. Peter wished he had any way at all to capture it, but it left at quickly as it came, Max refocusing on the weapon in his lap and turning away from Peter. He still looked striking, backlit with head bowed and a rare smile on his lips, but now that his attention was no longer on Quill, it was a little less overwhelming and a little more affectionately domestic.

Quill still swallowed hard at the sight. "I could show you how it works!" He blurted out suddenly. Max raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "The... the blaster. I could show you how it works. I don't, uh," Peter hedged awkwardly, glancing away from Max, "totally know everything about how they work? But I know enough to fix them when they break. Mostly. Usually. So, uh, yeah."

The amusement returned, a little stronger this time, and he held out the blaster. "Go ahead and show me, then, Mr. Expert."[[ALT:: idefk, something other than expert here maybe.]]

[moorheadthanyoucanhandle]

Opening this weekend:

Love Lies Bleeding--It certainly does, along with a fair number of corpses, before this New Mexico noir has run its course. It's 1989--the Berlin Wall is coming down on TV in the background--and our heroine Lou (Kristen Stewart), a lonely employee at a low-rent desert gym, spends her days unclogging toilets and stonewalling FBI agents who would like to talk to her about her estranged arms-dealer dad.

Lou falls hard for Jackie (Katy O'Brian), a beautiful feral bodybuilder who's in training for a competition in Vegas. Jackie moves in with Lou, but as you might guess, all does not go smoothly. Jealousy, domestic violence, gang violence, PEDs and the rage to which they give rise all intrude on this sweet romance and lead to gruesome murder and desperate cover-ups.

Stewart and O'Brian are both believable, and their passion for each other is exhilarating, even as you see the collision course with disaster that they're on. Ed Harris is at his creepiest as Lou's Dad, but Dave Franco wins the award for most odious as J.J., Lou's brother-in-law who abuses her hapless sister Beth (Jena Malone). Anna Baryshnikov is wistful as Daisy, who has the bad luck to have a crush on Lou.

The director is Rose Glass, the Brit behind Saint Maud, working from a script she wrote with Weronika Tofilska. As with Saint Maud, Glass is adept at blending the horrific with the ecstatic and the erotic, and her style, abetted by Ben Fordesman's queasy fluorescent cinematography, shifts comfortably from bleak British nastiness to gritty, lurid '80s-style southwestern nastiness. While the story gets a bit chaotically close to running off the rails in the homestretch, Glass even manages a surreal, magical-realist flourish near the end that feels right.

Arthur the King--This isn't a new version of Malory or T. H. White or Camelot. The title character here is a scruffy third-world street mongrel of such dignified bearing that he's given the royal moniker by his new best friend. Said friend is Mike (Mark Wahlberg), an "adventure racer" who impulsively feeds the dog a meatball during a break in a grueling event in the Dominican Republic, after which the mutt shadows Mike's four-person team as they run, bike, free-climb, zip-line and kayak across hundreds of miles of jungle. He even steers them away from peril.

Directed by Simon Cellan Jones, this is based on the 2017 book Arthur: The Dog Who Crossed the Jungle to Find a Home, by Mikael Lindnord. The script, by Michael Brandt, is fictionalized; Lindnord is a Swede, not an American; he met Arthur in Ecuador, not the Dominican Republic, and Wahlberg's teammates in the movie (Simu Liu, Nathalie Emmanuel, Ali Suliman) are likewise made-up.

More strikingly, the real-life circumstances of Arthur's adoption may have been more ambiguous: an Ecuadoran man later claimed that Arthur, originally named Barbuncho, belonged to him, and that Lindnord had essentially dognapped him. Many hardcore dog lovers, of course, will be unlikely to feel much sympathy for the owner of a "pet" who's at liberty to join a dangerous cross-country race.

In any case, Arthur the King is an unembarrassed and pretty effective hybrid of the venerable band-of-misfits, last-chance-for-glory underdog sports movie with an old-school "I think he's trying to tell us something" dog picture. It's admirably attuned to the plight of strays; there's a hint of reproach, probably unintentional, in the contrast between Arthur's struggles to survive on the streets and Mike's self-imposed travails in his rather bougie, corporate-sponsored sport.

Ultimately, though, the movie is really no less corny than any Rin-Tin-Tin or Lassie flick. But it's well-paced, and if, like me, you're a sucker for dogs there's a good chance you'll enjoy it. Wahlberg is agreeable as the boyishly earnest Mike, but neither he nor any other member of the human cast is a match for Ukai, who plays Arthur, and steals the movie like it was a meatball.

[angelofverdum]

And people wonder why she is always late to every award show or she doesn't go.

She doesn't know peace when she is out. Everybody wants a picture or to talk to her.

She was trying so hard to not be noticed at the Grammys. She was there to support her husband and that's it, and then she got a queue to a meet and greet.

And if you look at the pic she looks tired of taking pictures and talking to people. She is not going to say no to any of them she is too kind for that, and that's why she leaves early. I know she is honored but exhausted.

It reminded me of that interview where Le twins said that she is jealous she can't meet regular fans anymore. She knows those are the ones who truly appreciate her art.

If you look at some videos of the RWT you can see she is as corny and cheesy as she was when she was in Destiny's child.

And it's probably not that deep but the fact that she can't go to some events to support her husband, like the premier of the book of Clarence, because people don't know how to act around her is so sad.

[hollymbryan]

Blog Tour: Top 5 Reasons to Read PLAN A by Deb Caletti!

Welcome to Book-Keeping and my stop on the TBR and Beyond Tours blog tour for Plan A by Deb Caletti, which is OUT TODAY! I've got all the book details for you below, along with my top five reasons to read this latest Caletti contemporary.

About the Book

title: Plan A author: Deb Caletti publisher: Labyrinth Road release date: 3 October 2023

A sixteen-year-old girl’s road trip across the country to get an abortion becomes a transformative journey of vulnerability, strength, and above all, choice. From the acclaimed author of A Heart in a Body in the World , this is both an achingly tender love story and a bold, badly needed battle cry about bodily autonomy and the experiences that connect us. Ivy can’t entirely believe it when the plus sign appears on the test. She didn’t even know it was possible from . . . what happened. But it is, and now she is, and instead of spending the summer working at the local drugstore and swooning over her boyfriend, Lorenzo, suddenly she’s planning a cross-country road trip to her grandmother’s house on the West Coast, where she can legally obtain an abortion. Escaping her small Texas town and the judgment of her friends and neighbors, Ivy hits the road with Lorenzo, who, determined to make the best of their “abortion road trip love story,” has transformed the journey into a whirlwind tour of the all the way from Paris, Texas, to Rome, Oregon . . . and every rest-stop diner and corny roadside attraction along the way. And while Ivy can’t run from the incessant pressure of others’ opinions about her body or from her own expectations and insecurities, she discovers a new world of healing and hope. As the women she encounters share their stories, she chips away at the stigma, silence, and shame surrounding reproductive rights while those collective experiences guide her to her own rightful destination. Content Warning: Abortion, harassment, assault, rape, trauma

Add to Goodreads: Plan A Purchase the Book: Amazon | B&N | Bookshop.org

About the Author

Deb Caletti is the award-winning and critically acclaimed author of over twenty books for adults and young adults, including Honey, Baby, Sweetheart, a finalist for the National Book Award, and A Heart in a Body in the World, a Michael L. Printz Honor Book. Her books have also won the Josette Frank Award for Fiction, the Washington State Book Award, and numerous other state awards and honors, and she was a finalist for the PEN USA Award. She lives with her family in Seattle.

Connect with Deb: Website | Instagram | Goodreads | Facebook

Top 5 Reasons to Read

It's Deb Caletti. Isn't that enough?! I read and reviewed A Heart in a Body in the World when it released, and I *still* think about it to this day. She writes YA contemporary like no other.

I don't think there is any topic more relevant and urgent to the lives of young women than abortion -- the right to healthcare, the right to make one's own choices, the right to control one's own body.

The mother in this book is strong and amazing and supportive, and it was wonderful to read such a present and powerful parental character in YA.

The trip across country that Ivy and Lorenzo make is whimsical and fun while also leading to Ivy figuring out more who she is and what she wants. It may seem weird to have the trip to get an abortion be like this, but when reading you realize it makes perfect sense.

Perhaps my most favorite aspect of the book, and my top reason to read it, is the character of Lorenzo. Ivy's boyfriend not only supports whatever choice she wants to make, he calculates the travel route that takes them through all the "world cities" between Paris, Texas and Manhattan Beach, Oregon -- from Lima, Oklahoma to Naples, Utah to Rome, Oregon. He knows how desperately Ivy wishes to see the world, and he wants to give it to her, making my heart completely full.

While this isn't a traditional review, I do have to say this is a 5-star book for me for sure. I want to put it in the hands of every teen reader I come across -- and parents, too! It's beautifully written and empowering, and I can't recommend it highly enough.

Thank you so much to the publisher, author, and TBR and Beyond for the early copy of the book and for having me on tour!