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star-girl69 · 4 months

Text

She Calls Me Baby

Clarisse La Rue x Fem!Reader

—-

synopsis: college au, in which you slowly realize something is wrong with your girlfriend.

a/n: love this song. had to do it sorry. anyways this sucks actual BALLS but idc i just have to write something or else i will lose my empire and title as mother of clarisse tumblr ☹️

Jackie and Wilson - Hozier

warnings: NOT BETA READ, im sure this is so discombobulated but IDC!!!!!! anyways, swearing, mentions of death and the usual demigod stuff, mentions of monsters, idk pretty chill…, tell me if i missed anything!!

—-

Your favorite story Clarisse ever told you is the one about soulmates.

She told it to you in the dark, in her bed, hand on the side of your face as she whispered to you like you were secret lovers.

She told you that humans once had two heads and four arms, but Zeus thought they would grow to be too powerful and split them apart. Hearts split in two, detained to roam the earth, trying to find each other.

That’s how it feels with Clarisse- like you’ve known her for years, like your bodies were born of the same speck of dust, souls grew next to each other, fires inside of you burning in the same altar for a hundred years before you met.

Clarisse approached you fast- hard and unrelenting like a hurricane. She wanted whatever she could take from you, love, comfort, a one-night.

It scared her when you wanted to give.

It was kind of crazy how easily the two of you just fit together, crazy how you both liked some things, both hated things, hated something things she liked and nice versa. It was like there was this natural balance between you, everything sort of cosmically weighed out- and it just felt so right to be with her that everything else faded away.

But it was clear that Clarisse fell head over heels for you, the way she would smile and just tell you that you were so different, so much better than her. You were everything she wasn’t, and she resented you so much for it she loved you.

You weren’t exactly sure why Clarisse loved you so much- maybe it was the way you respect her past, maybe it was the way you didn’t push- you just accepted the crazy and tried your best to save her with what little information you did have. It surprised her and you when you became the one to get greedy, to take from her, but you knew she loved the feeling of being wanted.

But lately, Clarisse has been particularly… off. It’s not exam season, so you can’t chalk it up to that. And she’s the most talented player on the field hockey team, you’ve seen her play- she’s overconfident and for good reason. She has no reason to be stressed there, unless somethings changed.

But something tells you it’s not that.

The first real concrete clue you ever got was when you first met her.

The library is where you met Clarisse. The one closest to your dorm hall, the one that’s two floors and built like an out-of-place Greek temple- it always makes you smile when Clarisse gives it a dirty look, trying to persuade you to go to any other library. It doesn’t make sense to you- why go to the one all the way across campus when this one is only a five minute walk?

She always seems on edge when she meets you in here, but she bites it back and won’t tell you no matter how much you ask. She says it’s just a weird thing she has, hard to explain, so you let it go when she clearly doesn’t want to talk about it.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she smiles, pulling out the chair next to you. She glances around the library, not nervously, but observant. Ready, waiting. She’s always been able to do that- scan an entire room in seconds and find out everything.

“Hi,” you smile, stretching as you push your books away from you, grateful for the distraction her brown eyes and sweet voice provide.

She picks up a textbook you’ve pushed off to the side. She scoffs at the title, mumbling about how she still doesn’t know why you would choose the major you did.

“How was practice?” you ask, choosing to ignore her remarks in favor of soaking up her attention and the much needed distraction.

“Boring,” she hums, rubbing her foot up and down your leg, head in her hands. “Freshmen are pissin’ me off, they don’t know shit. Coach has to teach them all the basics over again.”

You lay your head on a thick textbook, staring up at her. “The freshmen are always shitty. Then you love them by the end of the year.”

“I don’t,” she huffs, but some of her favorite members of the team are the freshmen she hated her sophomore year. “Whatever. It’s different, they all suck. Shouldn’t be here.”

“Sure,” you say, yawning again.

“Okay, did you not sleep last night?” she chuckles.

You shrug sheepishly, Clarisse is always so adamant you sleep and eat enough, but sometimes you have to sacrifice the little things for your grades.

“I had a test this morning, stayed up a little later cramming.”

“Uh-huh, so, like, until 1 in the morning? Worse?”

You hold your breath, sitting up as you conveniently look away from her. “3,” you exhale.

She smiles and puts a piece of hair behind your ear.

“But,” you smile, sensing the lecture. “After these five questions, I can be all yours for the rest of the day.”

She pretends to weigh her options.

“Well, I do like the sound of that.”

—-

The second clue is the way she always seems like she’s running away from something.

Your rooms are blessedly only a few doors down from each other, so someone is always sneaking into someone else’s and your roommates have both learned to deal with it.

Silena, Clarisse’s roommate, only greets you with a smile as you sheepishly slip past her in the mornings- Clarisse’s shirt haphazardly slipped over you.

So, on this day, you’re slumped in bed while Clarisse promises to take care of you, and you’re all too happy to let her.

She’s already spent the last hour lying with you in bed, letting you sleep on top of her- forcing you to catch up on some much needed hours of rest with her soft voice in your ear and hand trailing up your back.

She only got up when you mentioned you were hungry, immediately suggesting the idea of ordering from your favorite restaurant, refusing to be swayed by you back into your warm bed.

So, here you were, scrolling on your phone while you waited for the click of the door and the smell of hot food. And it comes, you prepare to make some quip about how dare she leaves you for almost a half hour.

Her keys jangle in her hands as she quickly shuts the door, turning around and pressing her back against it. She breathes out, heavily, before her eyes meet yours and she studies the shocked and confused look on your face.

“Ran up the stairs,” she smiles, leaving her keys and wallet on top of your dresser, dropping the bag of food on your bed before she goes to the window, peeking out of it. “Didn’t want my princess waiting for too long,” she chuckles.

You don’t even look at the bag of food in front of you. You reach out and grab her hand, and she flinches, but pulls away from the window and into your touch.

“Clarisse,” you breathe, and panic flashes in her eyes as she quickly rips open the bag.

“C’mon, don’t let it get cold.”

“Clar… baby,”

“Wanna watch a movie? Or play a game? Anything you want, sweetheart, jus’ say the word.”

—-

The third clue is the fact that you’re 99% sure she’s seeing things.

It sounds horrible to say, and sometimes late at night when she’s asleep against you, you wonder what the hell you’re supposed to do. You’ve only met her mom a few times, never met her father- Silena and her have been friends for years, but you still feel like it all falls to you.

It doesn’t, legally, maybe not even morally- but she’s your girlfriend. You should know what she wants, you should be able to advocate for her when she can’t.

So, the best thing you can think to do it ignore it. You pretend it doesn’t concern you, you pretend you don’t see it, you pretend because you can’t even think about the idea of her not being her, of her being away from you.

You focus on the moment.

You love these walks with Clarisse, her hand warm in yours. It was moments like these where you felt like Clarisse was your sun. Yes, the setting sun was warm against your back, but nothing made you feel alive like Clarisse did. Your hands swing together, hitting your hip, and she seamlessly switches from your hand to wrapping at arm around your waist.

You smile at her, cheeks hot. You go to adjust your bag as a means of distracting yourself, but your hand awkwardly ends up floating in the air when you realize Clarisse took your bag when she picked you up from your last class.

As if sensing the awkwardness, she hikes the tote bag farther up her shoulder.

“What’re your plans today, pretty girl?”

You hum, feeling so at ease with the way she calls you that pet name, with the way she squeezes you closer to her.

“Well, I finished my big project yesterday, don’t really have anything else to do, so I was just gonna chill. What ‘bout you?”

“Ugh,” she groans. “I have practice until 8. But I’ll come over after? And spend the night?”

You smile, laughing softly.

“I don’t know why you even ask anymore.”

“It’s polite,” she smiles. “I’m a very polite person, only when it comes to you.”

“I’ll see you at 8:15, huh?”

“Obviously,” she huffs, kissing your temple. Again, you feel like cheeks heat like this is the first day you met her. It’s embarrassing to be affected by her so much, but it’s also so sweet. Only she can draw out these reactions from you, this potent all these months later. It still feels like the first day with her sometimes, but you also feel like you’ve known her for years.

She bites her lip and hisses a curse word under her breath.

“What?” you ask, snapped out of the way she holds you so perfectly, following her eye line. She stares firmly in between two cars, but there’s nothing there.

“Nothing,” she says, not taking her eyes away from that spot- not even blinking, you realize after a second. She hides the way she gets, that unrelenting focus like when she’s playing in a game, with a laugh.

“Thought I saw that bitch from my 11am.” You look at her. You don’t believe her. She knows you don’t. And it breaks your heart that something is clearly happening, and you can’t force yourself to feel bad for ignoring it, and you can’t force her to tell you. “C’mon, let’s go.”

She moves to hold your hand and drags you off forcefully toward the direction of the entrance. She squints, almost like she’s driving off something with her mind.

“Clarisse,” you mumble, squeezing her hand, feeling unsettled just by the way she’s so clearly ready for a fight. It’s like she can see something you can’t.

She risks a small glance at you, a normal looking smile.

“It’s all good, baby. I’ve got you,” she smiles, reaching back like she’s stretching, but something where there’s nothing glints in the sunlight.

—-

The fourth clue is the fight with Silena.

She asked you to meet her at her dorm, wear something nice and pretty, and you’ll go out for a nice dinner and some ice cream. She’s been so busy with practice lately, it makes your entire body squeeze the way she jumps to spend time with you at the first off day she gets.

You smooth down your pretty top, the one you know you look good in, the one you know she likes. You’re about to knock on the door when you realize it’s been left open, just a crack. That’s when their voices rise, enough so you can hear them.

“It different now, Clar!”

“It’s. Not. It’s not different, it will never be different, nothing will ever change.”

“Before, Clarisse, when you told me you had this crush on the girl in your econ class, I didn’t think anything of it. I didn’t care. But, Gods, Clarisse, anyone can see it’s different. She’s not just some girl, she’s your girl, your girlfriend, and you’re totally in love with her.”

“I know that,” she huffs. “I’m the one who’s actually in love with her. I love her, and I know her. I know what’s best for her.”

“And she’s in love with you too, Clarisse.”

She laughs. “I would hope so.”

“It’s different, Clarisse. It’s been different for a while, and I didn’t say anything because I thought you would notice. But you haven’t.”

“Fuck, Silena, please. Please, just stop. I’m not puttin’ her through that. I’m not putting myself through that again. I’m not that girl anymore. I am not my father’s daughter.”

“It never goes away, Clar.”

Silena’s voice is quiet, hesitant. Clarisse has confessed to you her struggles with her emotions all her life, particularly anger. Half the reason her mother sent her to that camp she always talks about was because she had such bad anger issues. But she worked through them, and you know she’s different now, she has healthy outlets and ways to cope.

But still, Silena seems scared.

“Shut the fuck up.”

You hear her walking towards you and quickly step back, smoothing your face out into a blank slate, tempted to hit yourself in the head to forget what you just heard.

The door swings open, and she smiles immediately when she sees you.

“Y/N,” she says, sticking her keys into her pocket. You force yourself to do your best smile. “Oh, baby, you look so pretty.”

“Thank you,” you smile, letting her wrap her arms around you, letting her press a soft kiss against your lips.

—-

Clarisse made you laugh all night, made you smile, made you wonder how you ever got this far in life without her. She paid for your dinner and ushered you out of the restaurant, chuckling about how you drove her crazy and she just wanted you now-

Until she walked you to your car, opened the passenger door for you- suddenly shoving you inside and pushing the door softly closed, as much as she could get it with your foot still hanging out.

“Clarisse!” you shout, but she’s already appeared in the driver’s seat next to you, ushering you inside, reaching over and shutting the car door. She locks them with a satisfying click, finally letting her shoulder’s sink down. “What the fuck?” you huff.

“Sorry,” she smiles, hands squeezing the steering wheel. “It was the weirdest thing, a squirrel ran right over my foot, I got so freaked out…” she smiles, forces a laugh, but you only look at her unimpressed.

“Clarisse,” you sigh, letting your hands fall to your sides in defeat. “What’s going on? Please?”

She opens her mouth, then closes it.

“Just let me drive home,” she had said, and now you’re home, leading her into your dorm and she presses her back against the door.

You put your hands on her shoulders and she puts hers on your hips, she can’t look at you and you do your best to meet her eyes.

“Clarisse,” you say, a silent beg that all your suspicions are wrong, and everything and fine and she still loves you, she’s still your girlfriend.

“I’m not ready to tell you,” she rushes out. Her fingertips dig into your skin. “I’m not ready, okay? I’m sorry, but I’m not.”

“T-that’s okay,” you say after a moment. “It’s okay. I just… you can tell me, when you’re ready. I’m just scared, I don’t know why this is happening, you’re being so different-”

She hugs you and puts her face into your neck.

“Please, Y/N,” she breathes, shaky breath tickling your neck. “I love you so much. I love you more than anything, just let that be enough, please.”

You hugs you quick and hard, and you’re so shocked by it that you almost take a step back. But you can’t, really, not with her arms so tight, so right around you. And once you realize it’s just your Clarisse, you coo softly and put your hand in her hair, the other around her shoulders.

“Of course it’s enough, baby. Of course, I just want you to know that I’m here… I’m here…”

You run your hand through her hair and she exhales.

“I know, I know it’s not perfect, but you’re all I have. You’re all I have, Y/N, just be here with me, please.”

“I will,” you breathe. “I will.”

Your mind is swirling with more questions than answers, but Clarisse asks you to call her baby again and leads you to your bed. And you do, you call her baby and tell her you love her.

And the realization comes slowly, but once it comes it feels so right.

You don’t know what’s going on with Clarisse. All you have are incoherent clues strung together, but you realize you don’t care. You love Clarisse more than you’re scared of a little crazy.

And you tell her that as she lays on top of you, and she simply takes her face out of your neck, the faintest hint of tears welling in her eyes.

“I love you crazy, baby,” you murmur.

She smiles, and you feel like you’re being sucked into the eye of a hurricane.

She lets out a soft breath, like she was scared, so scared- and you’re not sure she’s ever been scared before. But she’s scared of losing you. She’s scared of losing you, and that makes you giddy like a schoolgirl. That makes you love her even more.

“I’m a lot of crazy,” she says, and you can’t tell if she’s joking, but you laugh. You laugh like a hyena, because you love her more than you love yourself.

You want to be the harbor she comes back to each night, you want to be the pillow where she rests her head. You want to be a vault for her secrets and her love. You want to be everything for her and you want to be everything to her.

You don’t believe in Greek myths, but maybe that one about soulmates was right.

—-

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#clarisse la rue #clarisse la rue x reader #clarisse la rue x y/n #clarisse la rue x you #pjo tv show #pjo x reader

713 notes · View notes

jaquemuses · 5 months

Note

i’m an angst comfort GIRL so if you would be interested in writing anything maybe about childhood friends enzo and reader where it’s right people wrong time for years ( definitely mutual feelings, maybe reader always thought enzo was too good for them so they never really thought they had a chance but is oblivious to the fact that enzo was head over HEELS for them but was worried about dragging them into the spotlight as he grew more famous) until they finally end up together i’d be thrilled!! ofc no matter what thank you so much!! have a great day/night!!❤️❤️

GIRL ME TOO !!! so glad you requested it, i wrote this, hope u enjoy it ♡♡

Starry night | Enzo Vogrincic

Synopsis: Sharing feelings has always been challenging, but under the starry sky, sitting right beside his childhood friend on the eve of his movie premiere party, Enzo confesses a love that has lingered his heart since he was seven.

Word count: 1.5k

Content: Enzo Vogrincic/Reader, mutual pining, childhood friends to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluffy overall, no explicit content, focus on emotions, and strong affection for Enzo, references to ghibli's movies.

a/n: hi there !! i hope you guy enjoy this i pulled an all nighter just to write it lmaooo so bear with me if there's any typos or such; english isn't my first language, but I hope it's a good read!

- xoxo Kara ♡

Time slips away so quickly.

Beneath the starry sky, the weight of its passing moments engulfs you like a fuzzy tidal wave, heavy and suffocating. Sinking beneath its weight has become your routine.

A soft, resigned sigh escapes your lips, the midnight air crisp on your tongue, turning into vapor in the summer night. Beyond your sight, stars burn in tandem, the cosmos vast and immersive. The moon, tonight, is a big blob of reflected sunlight, smiling tenderly, casting a soothing glow like a mother's voice.

In the familiarity of the sight, there's comfort. The moon, always there, in crescents or hidden by clouds, a constant in a changing world. What a peculiar and lovely thing it is to be under the celestial dance, where even the moon, with its timeless presence, seems to join the ever-moving cosmic ballet.

As you lay on the rooftop, the distant melody of music from the house below reaches your ears. It's a reminder of shared laughter, playful banter, and the bond you once had with Enzo. The thought of losing him, not just as a childhood friend but as this life partner makes you wanna cry right there.

Another second lost, as you gaze into the nothingness of space. Time keeps passing you by, never stopping —seconds turning into minutes, minutes turning into months. that incessant moving of the hands of the clock; tick, tock, tick, tock. over and over again.

and, really, it's a little bit scary. you think you might be terrified of time. you're so afraid, afraid of being left behind, afraid that the world will turn its back on you and then walk away. afraid that everyone and everything will change shape before you know it

The music serves as a soundtrack to your memories, a bittersweet symphony echoing through the night. Enzo, your companion through the years, feels like he's slipping away, and the weight of that potential loss is heavy against the backdrop of the starlit sky.

But even in this always-changing, turbulent mess of a life

one thing remains the same;

"Ah, there you are," Enzo's voice, honeyed and familiar, breaks the silence. A small smile graces your lips at the sight of him.

That voice...

honeyed and smooth, but still rough around the edges, just a little husky. Deep and familiar, etched into your brain; even if you were to forget everything else, you're sure you'd still remember it. That familiar voice. It sounds like moonlit nights, and sunkissed kitchens.

it sounds like coming home.

A turn of your head. it's a subconscious reaction, as natural as the beating of your own heart, memorized down to the very marrow of your bones — muscle memory, to seek him out after hearing the low timbre of his voice. You do it as if it's the only thing worth hearing.

And Enzo is smiling, when your eyes meet his. That gentle upward tug of his lips, small yet sincere. The one that always puts your mind at ease.

"How'd you know I'd be up here?" you tease, a playful glint in your eyes.

"Lucky guess," Enzo replies, his grin revealing the comfort of shared moments.

Of course, he knew. Tracking you down was his thing, always has been. Like that time when he found you concealed under a table at your twelfth birthday party or the time he discovered you teary-eyed in the woods during your school field trip.

Finding you always comes easy to Enzo. Almost like he's always seeking you out, subconsciously or otherwise, always paying attention to your movements. You go south, and he follows, you go north, and he's already waiting up ahead.

"Damn, how'd you know?" you playfully pout, looking into him.

"I always know, silly" Enzo confesses softly, his eyes holding a warmth that speaks volumes. "I've known you since we were seven"

A gentle inhale passes between you as the silence settles, the moon casting its glow on your shared history.

"I thought you might be too busy with, you know, the whole famous actor thing," you admit trying to make it a joke but insecurity creeps into your words. "Congratulations on that, i always knew you'd make it"

The whole party underneath you both was for Enzo, you felt kind of stupid for leaving so suddenly, after all tonight's was Enzo's night. But before he realized it, you had slipped away, seizing the chance as soon as others grew too drowsy to take notice.

But he always notices you.

And he's worried. just a bit, is what he tells himself but truthfully it's more than that.

You look small, enzo thinks, curled up with your knees to your chest. Sitting all alone up on the roof of his home, a place you'd always go to on nights when you couldn't sleep. Together, sharing whispered secrets and hushed laughter until the sun began to rise again. Back then, it felt like the two of you were the only ones awake in the whole world.

(the safest world he's ever known.)

The distance between you grows narrower, as enzo makes his way over to you - and it always does, at the end of the day. No matter how much time you spend apart, that uncomfortable distance always, always ends up broached. One of you always moves closer. As if it's unavoidable, two planets spinning around each other's orbit.

Enzo sits down right next to you, crossing his legs and leaning back. his knee bumps against the side of your shoe, and his shoulder grazes yours. It's natural, as natural as the glow of the moon, this closeness between you. It reminds you of the gentle lapping of the ocean waves of Punta del este at your bare ankles; on mellow summer days when you were 10 and went to a trip with your parents and Enzo's, comforting and familiar. A warmth that never goes away.

The moon bathes the rooftop in a gentle glow as Enzo chuckles in response to your teasing remark. "Busy? Yeah, it gets a bit crazy, but it's moments like these that remind me of what truly matters. And you know im never too busy for you." He shifts, a thoughtful expression on his face, as he gazes at the city below.

A brief inhale, and your heartbeat settles into a tender rhythm again. The scent that always lingers on Enzo's skin drifts throughout the air, mingling with your own — it can be hard to distinguish between the two, with how often you end up wearing each other's clothes, but you could never mistake it for anything else. Cedarwood and earl gray, with a hint of coconut-scented shampoo enveloping every single one of your senses, grounding you in a way nothing else can.

Leaning just a little closer to him, subconsciously, youet a fond exhale slip from your lips. Barely audible. And Enzo mimics it.

The silence between you is a comfortable one. Always has been. A little fickle, always shattered by one of you before long —usually you, though enzo isn't much better. But this time, he stays silent.

He's waiting. You know he is, because he always does.

He's waiting, waiting for you to break the silence first. Waiting for you to say something, tell him what's wrong, explain why you're up here instead of celebrating with the others. Waiting for you to explain why your eyes have looked so tired, this past week.

Enzo is nothing if not patient. So he waits, unbothered by the silence. Admiring the stars, and the flicker of their light. A vague worry simmers in his chest, however, and he can't stop himself from glancing down at you every now and then.

An insatiable yearning to soothe you gnaws at his heart

—but he can't, not unless you let him.

A sigh drops from your lips, suddenly. Deep and heavy, ike a rock thrown into the depths of a lake. The silence breaks.

"En...?"

The guy stays quiet, just humming inquisitively. He avoids eye contact, showing respect. He figures you'll spill what's on your mind more comfortably without him staring.

Your fingers lightly tap the rooftop tiles out of habit. You take in a bit of the midnight air—it's got that summer taste. "Remember how we first met?"

Enzo glances at you, surprise flickering in his eyes. He can't resist the urge to peek at your face, savoring your expression. Then, a chuckle escapes him. "Are you feeling sentimental?" he teases, a playful note in his voice, light and airy like seafoam. "Did you come out here just to reflect?"

The corners of his lips lift when he hears you huff, pulling your legs closer with a furrowed brow. Cheek pressed against your kneecap, you meet his gaze.

"Come on," you whine, pouting childishly, a trick you know will make him give in. "Just indulge me a little."

Enzo smiles, soft around the edges, radiating unmistakable fondness. He always indulges you. "Of course I do," he assures you.

The quiet settling between your words holds a tender understanding, a silent agreement.

"Of course, I remember. How could I forget? You broke into my backyard."

A sigh, weighty and pointed, escapes your lips. Enzo fights back a grin; his eyes dance with teasing mischief in the darkness as you shoot a glare his way.

"Okay, first of all," you begin, "I didn't break into anything. I climbed over the fence. Peacefully."

Enzo raises a brow. "That literally doesn't matter; it's still trespassing."

"I was seven years old!"

"Damn! Some of you criminals start young."

Another playful huff escapes you as you halfheartedly attempt to sound annoyed. Unsuccessful, you hide your growing smile by tucking your face into your knees. "Whatever."

Then your gaze shifts, drawn to the expanding starry sky, the vibrant flicker of the moon like a moth to a flame, helpless to its charms. It resembles a giant sponge cake, reminiscent of the ones you and Enzo used to make when that was the only recipe you knew – you'd eat from the batter, and he'd scold you. Then he'd do the same when your back was turned.

A smile graces your lips. In each star, a new memory unfolds, and the warm nostalgia surrounding you makes your heart feel exposed. "I just wanted to pet Ada" you reminisce, softly rememberig how little the cat was back then.

Enzo nods, his gaze directed at you, reveling in the expression on your face – tranquil and at ease, a bit more of yourself. Effortlessly lovely, bathed in moonlight. "Yeah, I remember."

He lets the memory carry him away for a moment or two, recalling the sight of you all those years ago, an unfamiliar child in his backyard. It was as if you had fallen from the sky – quiet and shy, yet with an excited glimmer in your eyes as you looked at his cat.

"You just pointed to her and expected me to understand," he continues, a grin blooming on his face, hopelessly endeared. "You were so shy back then."

A raise of your eyebrow. "Um? I'm still shy?"

Enzo gives you a look. He doesn't have to say anything – it's written all over his face. The classic Vogrincic look, the kind where you can tell he's itching to say, "Oh, really now?" The kind where he tries to appear judgmental but never quite manages to hide the amusement in his eyes.

A soft chuckle escapes your lips, and Enzo smiles once more, utterly captivated by your joy.

"Then we watched movies at my place,"

You hum. "It was fun."

"Yeah," he agrees.

Another spell of silence descends, tender and incredibly precious. The air is cool but not enough to make you shiver – a mild summer night, gentle on your skin and light on your heart. A soft breeze tousles your hair, and in the distance, cicadas buzz – a familiar, unchanging sound.

(If only everything else could remain the same, too.)

"Do you remember what movie it was?"

A lazy smile graces Enzo's lips as he turns to look at you, one eyebrow raised.

"Is there a point to this, or are you just trying to make m–"

"I just wanna reminisce."

Enzo pauses, observing your gaze as it wanders across the landscape, from the moon to the distant city lights. Absentmindedly fidgeting with the strings of your hoodie, you seem a bit lost, your eyes forgotten within the depths of the endless night sky.

No more teasing, he decides, choosing a more delicate approach. He answers your question softly, as if each octave of his voice could potentially cause you harm. "Whisper of the Heart," he reveals.

A little nod follows your hum of agreement. "Thats a top-tier one."

Enzo shifts his gaze away, muttering something under his breath. Still audible, though. "Spirited Away takes the cake..."

Catching a glimpse of your unimpressed look, he suppresses a soft laugh. His teeth graze his lip gently, just enough to avoid any sting.

"You're so basic," you playfully grin.

"You just want to feel special," Enzo retorts, quick on the uptake. "And you only like it because of Seji."

"You're only a Spirited Away fan because of Haku!"

Enzo closes his eyes, leans back a bit, crossing his arms in a somewhat childlike manner – a move aimed at drawing out laughter. "I don't know what you're talking about," he pretends.

"Oh, come on," you scoff. "Do you really think I've forgotten your sudden "enlightenment"?"

"Hm? What's that?" Feigning confusion, Enzo puts a hand to his ear, amusement twinkling in his eyes. "You'll have to come closer; I can't hear you from here."

Another unimpressed look accompanies your exhale, a mix of a scoff and a chuckle. "If I get any closer, I'll be in your lap, goofball."

Enzo bites his cheek gently, holding back the words that almost slip off his tongue.

(He wouldn't mind)

"Sorry, can you repeat that?" A playful nudge meets his shoulder as you roll your eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

The banter fades away as quickly as it came. Then, smiles break out across both your faces simultaneously, the atmosphere shifting into something more sincere. Doesn't it always when you're gazing at the starry sky with the one you love most?

As Enzo continues, his voice takes on that softer tone once again—the one thats only reserved for you. "I always liked imagining us as them," he confesses. "Me as Haku, and you as Chihiro."

A soft blink, and your smile sweetens like syrup. "...That's amusing," you cross your legs, palms flat against the roof, knee comfortably leaning against Enzo's. "I always thought of us as Seiji and Shizuku."

There's a distant look in your eyes, something Enzo can't look away from. Tentatively, his fingers press into the skin of his palms, and he speaks, absentminded and a bit uncertain. ".. they get married at the end, don't they?"

A pause, then your gaze locks onto Enzo's, suddenly mischievous – and he regrets opening his mouth.

"Oh?" you purr, almost beaming, closing the distance like a

predator sizing up its prey. "Oh, really? Is this a proposal, Mr. Vogrincic?"

"I'm just stating facts" he quips, hands raised in defense, hoping you won't notice the red tint creeping up his neck, hidden by the night.

"Incorrect facts," you grin. Whether you catch the blush or not, you don't mention it. "They get engaged, not married. Big difference."

Enzo huffs, small, trying to suppress a smile. The beat of his heart is faint, a gentle rhythm stirred by every move you make. He pushes back the words he longs to say. "I wouldn't mind that, either."

Once again, silence envelops you, weaving around the space between you. It's comforting, just being like this; you and your best friend under the moon's soft glow. As if you're the sole inhabitants of an otherwise vacant universe, free from space and time.

Like the night could pause and stretch on forever.

Yet, there's an unspoken question lingering. One Enzo is still waiting for you to answer. One you won't address until he does the same.

Both of you have noticed, even if no one else has – the turmoil in your eyes, the fatigue under his. Those subtle signs of stress as everything around you keeps twirling on, as the future approaches with every passing day.

"Remember how school felt like it would last forever, and now... it's all just a blur."

Enzo's eyes light up with nostalgia. "Yeah, the days when we believed we could conquer the world. Time goes by so quickly." He pauses, a wistful smile playing on his lips. "But hey, we had some pretty great adventures."

A soft laugh escapes you. "Adventures, mischief, and a fair share of detentions. I miss those days."

Enzo grins, "Our secret base, the pranks we pulled, and the dreams we shared. Life was simpler back then."

You sigh, "Simpler, but full of possibilities. Now everything feels like it's rushing by, and I can't keep up."

Enzo reaches for your hand, offering a comforting squeeze. "You're not alone in feeling that way. I miss the simplicity too, but some things haven't changed." He looks into your eyes, his gaze holding a depth of emotions.

"Yeah, your talent and that dream that's not a dream anymore En. Its now your reality, and I'm so proud of you, I'd always knew you'd make it" You said with a nostalgic smile on your face.

Deep down, you knew you'd end up losing him; he had everything to succeed in the industry.

Enzo meets your gaze, a hint of gratitude in his eyes. "Thank you, sweetheart... It means a lot to hear that from you."

As Enzo utters the endearment "sweetheart," a fluttering sensation courses through your stomach, a delicate dance of butterflies that seems to synchronize with the newfound warmth in your chest. With a surge of emotions enveloping you, you can't help but wrap your arms around Enzo's body, hugging him tightly and feeling the size difference between the both of you. A murmured "of course" escapes your lips.

The moonlight paints a soft glow around you both, and the distant sounds of the party create a gentle background melody. Enzo takes a moment after the hug, collecting his thoughts, his thumb gently caressing the back of your hand.

"There's something I've been wanting to tell you for a long time, You know?" He starts, catching your eye. "Oh look who's reflecting now" You say as you laugh softly. "What is it?"

"These moments, right here, remind me of the times when life was simpler, and we were just two kids dreaming under the same sky." He pauses, searching for the right words.

"You know, when we were younger, I used to take you to the cinema, to the lake, even on your 15th birthday... Each time, I wanted to tell you something important, but I never found the right moment. It's been on my mind, and I'm tired of postponing it."

Your heart quickens at his words, confusion mingling with anticipation. Enzo's expression shifts, becoming more serious yet tender.

"Do you remember those times? I was trying to say that..." He hesitates a little, his eyes looking straight into yours, noticing how every single star can fit on your gaze "I'm in love with you. From the days of our childhood adventures to now, you've always been the girl of my dreams. I wanted to share my success with you because you've been my constant, my anchor."

The weight of his confession hangs in the air, and your mind races to process the revelation. Enzo continues, "I know that recently the world sees me as this actor, but to you, I just want to be Enzo. The boy you've known since we were seven. I'm tired of hiding my feelings, and I didn't want to lose another moment without letting you know."

Silence stretches between you, the memories of your shared past intertwining with the present. You're caught between the familiarity of nostalgia and the unexpected confession, yet, suddenly, some things start to make sense.

Enzo's eyes search yours, vulnerable and earnest.

"En, wait... what do you mean? In love with me? Like, as a friend or...?" Your words trail off, searching for clarity.

Enzo takes a deep breath, his thumb caressing the back of your hand. You can feel him shaking. "No I mean, romantically in love with you. Since we were kids, I've tried to tell you, but I never found the right moment."

Your eyes widen, replaying moments in your mind. "Wait, are you saying all those times – the cinema, the lake, my 15th birthday – you wanted to confess your feelings?"

Enzo nods, a mix of vulnerability and sincerity in his eyes. "Exactly. I kept hoping for the perfect moment, but life just kept moving too fast"

Your mind races, grappling with the revelation. Enzo continues, "What im trying to say is you've been the girl of my dreams since i can remember. I wanted to share my success with you, not just as an actor but as the person who's been my constant through it all."

Silence envelops the rooftop, the city of Montevideo below seemingly hushed in anticipation. Enzo looks at you, his expression a mosaic of hope and uncertainty.

After a moment of processing, you break into a soft laugh. "Enzo, this is... I... i just never saw this coming... oh my god"

With a warm smile, Enzo pulls you into a hug, and you reciprocate, embracing the familiarity of his presence. "Its okay if you dont feel the same... but I... I've just been carrying this for so long; it feels good to finally share it with you." He says with a sad tone.

As you're held in Enzo's embrace, the vulnerability of the moment encourages you to share your own feelings. "Enzo, no... Its not that, its just that I... I never thought you'd see me that way. I always felt like you were way too good for me, like I'd never be enough, so i always thought it'll be pointless to confess because you'll end up leaving me... And its just the thought of losing you as a friend and now knowing you've felt this way for so long, it's just overwhelming."

Enzo loosens the hug, gently holding your shoulders as he looks into your eyes. "You were always more than enough. I never wanted to risk our friendship, but holding back these feelings became harder as time went on. Our friendship means the world to me, and the fear of losing you kept me silent."

Tears glisten in your eyes as you continue, "I spent so many nights up here on this rooftop, wondering if I was just another friend among many for you. I never thought I could be the one you'd be in love with."

Enzo wipes away a tear with his thumb, a tender smile on his face. "You were never just another friend. You were the one who understood me, laughed with me, and stood by me through it all. And I've been in love with you since we were kids."

The weight of unspoken emotions finally laid bare, you share a bittersweet laugh. "Guess we were both too scared to ruin what we had."

Enzo nods, his hand now resting on your cheek. "Maybe, but holding back feels like a bigger risk now. I don't want to waste any more time, not when i don't know how much of it we have left"

As the moonlight bathes both of you, you take a deep breath and finally say, "Enzo, I've always been in love with you too."

A shared understanding and a newfound honesty linger in the air as Enzo leans in and his lips meets yours in a tender kiss, a culmination of years of unspoken emotions and shared moments. In that intimate exchange, the rooftop becomes a sanctuary for a new beginning, and just for that moment: time seems to stand still.

#enzo vogrincic x you #enzo vogrincic one shot #enzo vogrincic fanfic #enzo vogrincic #enzo vogrincic x reader #enzo vogrincic fluff #enzo vogrincic blurb #friends to lovers #childhood friends

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1111jenx · 1 year

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𖤓Synastry series: Sun in the Houses𖤓

MASTERLIST — for more quality posts✨

💘Sun in the 1st House: Beneath the celestial canvas of this synastry placement, a tale as enchanting as a dream unfurls. The house person, akin to a night sky, emanates a radiant glow, echoing the Sun person's presence. To them, the Sun is their guiding star, the source of their joy, their radiant beacon in a universe otherwise cloaked in darkness. A profound contentment envelops them when bathed in the Sun's light, an authentic happiness as splendid as dawn's first light. The Sun, in return, basks in the house person's deep-rooted admiration, mirroring it back like a tranquil lake reflecting the midday sun. This tandem, like a pair of celestial bodies, graces the universe with laughter, an exquisite sonnet of shared joy. Together, they shimmer, illuminating the surrounding cosmos with their radiant togetherness, a spectacle of love that outshines the stars. Yet, within this symphony of love, a certain possessiveness persists, a gravitational pull that binds them irrevocably. They perceive the other as their celestial twin, their sole companion in the vast expanse of the universe. An echo of 'mine' resonates between them, an assertion of mutual ownership that is as potent as the heart's deepest longing. But as is the nature of celestial bodies, clashes may occur, ego battles akin to cosmic storms, threatening to disrupt their harmonious orbit. However, even these conflicts are silver-lined, offering pearls of wisdom and shaping their cosmic journey in profound ways. In the radiant presence of one another, they shimmer with unspoken brilliance. They ignite the best within each other, like distant galaxies awakening to their own magnificence. The house person swells with pride in the comforting glow of the Sun, who, in their unerring wisdom, whispers words that elicit pure, unadulterated joy. They orbit in their celestial dance, two bodies radiating love, learning, and laughter, a testament to the poetic resonance of their shared existence.

💘Sun in the 2nd House: In this bond, we find two souls who naturally stir each other's desires and comforts. Together, they revel in life's luxurious offerings, savoring the finest fruits of existence. The Sun person, like a guiding star, helps the House person grasp their true worth, understand their needs, and appreciate their resources. If the stars align favourably, their partnership blooms into something extraordinary, blessed by the gracious hand of Venus. They see worth in each other, a priceless treasure that enriches their shared journey. The Sun person recognizes the unique gifts the House person brings to the table. Yet, there's a shadow to the Sun's warm glow; a tendency to possess, to control, often without realizing. The House person, drawn in by the Sun's radiance, finds themselves doing more to please the Sun, adjusting to their needs, no matter what those might be. In this dance of connection, they move in harmony, a duet of love, desire, and mutual respect.

💘 Sun in the 3rd House: In their shared space, words intertwine like star-crossed lovers, ceaseless, captivating. Little disagreements dance on the edge of their tongues, only to be silenced by the tender symphony of make-up kisses. This placement weaves a sense of familiarity, a strange déjà vu, as if their souls have crossed paths in another life, another time. An unspoken comfort lingers between them, a tranquility that whispers of home. Conversations flow like rivers to the sea, their intellectual discourse as effortless as the wind caressing the leaves. The House person finds a certain charm in the Sun's words, hanging onto them like a melody that never grows old. The Sun, on the other hand, sees the House person as a precious gem, something to shield from the world's harsh edges. Their interaction is a feast for the mind, a stimulation that sings to those who crave deep, intellectual bonds. In this union, comfort abounds. Each word spoken, each secret shared, peels away another layer, revealing the essence of who they truly are. Their openness is as natural as a flower blooming under the spring sun, a testament to their profound connection. Intimate moments are shared in the small details - the clasp of their hands, a language written in the lines of their palms, a silent promise of enduring togetherness. Inside jokes punctuate their interactions, shared laughter blooming in their personal garden of camaraderie. A timeless dance of love and intellectual stimulation, their union weaves a tapestry of memories, each thread gleaming with their shared joy and affection.

💘 Sun in the 4th House: In the embrace of the House person, the Sun finds a home, an abode that whispers of permanence, a space it never yearns to desert. The sanctuary of their presence is a magnet to the Sun, a refuge radiant with solace. This cosmic alignment is intriguing, for it oscillates between providing profound comfort and eliciting the chill of fear, particularly if the Sun's chart is parched of the life-giving water element. There's an undeniable allure in the vulnerability this placement offers. The House person peers into the Sun, seeing its authentic self, acknowledging its limitless potential, and loving it unabashedly. They are the unwavering shield to the Sun, sometimes blindly so, standing in steadfast support irrespective of the circumstances. In response, the Sun flourishes. It blossoms with an ethereal beauty, basking in the adoration it receives, thriving on the nourishment of support. The presence of the House person is a soothing balm, a calming melody that seems to know the right notes to bring tranquility. The House person, in their turn, reveals a clear soft spot for the Sun, perhaps even forgiving their occasional bursts of tempestuous heat. It's a placement that prompts both introspection and reflection, a cosmic dance that sees them turning inward, mirroring each other's steps. Together, they discover a respite from their armor, a space where they can shed their toughness. They become a testament to the beauty of vulnerability, an echo of support and affection that resonates in the celestial symphony of their unity.

💘 Sun in the 5fth House: A placement I hold dear, is a dance of two cosmic entities feeling as though they've discovered their mirrored soul. It's not just a joyous union but one filled with exhilarating thrills and daring adventures. They revel in their shared laughter, their exchanges brimming with the innocence of child-like banter. Yet, beneath this playful veneer, there lies an infatuation, clear and profound, humming in the spaces between their words. The House person transforms into an eternal flame, a radiant beacon matching the Sun's relentless luminescence. The Sun, in turn, gazes upon the House with a sense of awe, often entranced by their seeming perfection. The House, in the Sun's eyes, feels like an equal partner, a reflection of their inner self. The fifth house is synonymous with romance. It's a fixed house, firmly rooted in its position, a steadfast testament to the House person's feelings towards the Sun. Regardless of their playful mind games, their seemingly flighty demeanor, their feelings towards the Sun person persist, burning with unwavering intensity. To the Sun, the House becomes an escape from the mundane, their daily dose of joy, their most ardent cheerleader. It's an alignment at times witnessed in tales of enemies turned lovers to bestfriends, an exciting dynamic where they continually challenge and dare each other to delve deeper into life's mysteries. It's a placement pulsating with positive energy, echoing with shared giggles, and resonating with playful touches. It's a cosmic dance of two entities, navigating the universe hand in hand, their hearts beating in a rhythm that speaks of love, laughter, and endless adventure.

💘 Sun in the 6th House: In this celestial arrangement, the Sun finds itself nestled in a house of pragmatism and routine, shedding its brilliant light upon the practicalities of daily life. These constellations spin tales not of grand careers or cosmic pursuits, but of everyday work, the quiet rhythm of health and wellness, the structure of routines and the serene act of service. In this dance of the stars, the Sun's light illuminates pathways to healthier eating, disciplined exercise, and even companionship with beloved pets. The Sun, in its radiant role, serves as a guiding beacon for the 6th house dweller, leading them towards the sanctity of a balanced lifestyle. It may inspire a shared commitment to physical exertion, perhaps in the form of joining a gym, or ignite conversations about nutritious diets and wellbeing. The Sun person may even act as a catalyst, helping the 6th house dweller establish routines that reinforce physical and mental health. Yet, the orbits of these celestial bodies might lead them down professional paths that intertwine, potentially finding one in the service of the other. However, with the Sun's position in the practical 6th house, a word of caution is warranted. The equilibrium of give and take must be carefully maintained to prevent the transformation of helpfulness into servitude. It's crucial that neither the Sun nor the 6th house dweller feels overburdened, their efforts unreciprocated.. It inspires a mutual journey towards better physical and mental health, encouraging each to uplift the other, illuminating their shared path with the light of practical wisdom and mutual care.

💘 Sun in the 7th House: In the grand tapestry of the cosmos, this placement is akin to a celestial masterpiece, an ideal constellation in the realm of astrology. The Sun, in its radiant glory, casts its golden light upon the 7th house, a house rich with the resonance of companionship, the solemnity of marriage, the intimacy of one-on-one relationships, the practicalities of business partnerships, the binding power of contracts, and the hidden faces of our alter-egos or shadow selves. In this dance of the stars, the Sun person stirs a longing within the 7th house dweller, a yearning for partnership, perhaps even a hankering for the sacred bond of marriage. The 7th house person may perceive the Sun person as the embodiment of their perfect mate, a mirror reflecting all the qualities they admire yet feel they lack. This celestial alignment weaves a balancing harmony in their relationship, as the Sun person displays characteristics and idiosyncrasies that the 7th house person cherishes but doesn't possess. As the 7th house is the celestial realm of marriage and contracts, the potential for wedded bliss, or perhaps a formal business partnership, is a tangible possibility should their relationship endure the test of time. However, as with any celestial arrangement, there are potential pitfalls to navigate. The two may become so entwined that they lose their individualities, their identities blurring until they cannot discern where one ends and the other begins. It is vital to remember that they are unique souls united, not a singular entity. Additionally, the mirage of the ideal mate may only be visible to the eyes of the 7th house person, with the Sun person potentially oblivious to this perception. The entirety of the synastry chart must be considered to gauge the mutual feelings of compatibility and the potential for enduring companionship. Thus, in this symphony of stars and planets, the dance of destiny unfolds, charting a course of love, partnership, and shared dreams.

💘 Sun in the 8th House: The placement of the Sun in the 8th house is a pas de deux that is not meant for those with faint hearts. It is a dance where the dancers—the Sun and the 8th house person—are likely to be pulled in one of two extreme directions. They may find themselves entwined in an intoxicating whirl of magnetic attraction, an intense passion that seizes them, or they may feel an unsettling disturbance, a disquiet that rattles their core, often swaying between these polar opposites. The Sun, in its radiant role, casts an unflinching light on the profound themes of the 8th house, illuminating the shadowy corners of sexuality, the cyclical dance of death and rebirth, the tumult of transformation and crisis, the journey of personal growth and evolution, the undercurrents of psychology and addiction, the intricacies of finance, and the hushed whispers of societal taboos. These subjects, often shrouded in mystery, may either captivate or unsettle the house person. They might either welcome the Sun person into their hidden depths or push them away. The house person might perceive the Sun as an enigmatic entity, while the Sun person uncovers the secrets that the 8th house person keeps hidden from the world. Should both individuals bear the mark of Pluto's dominance, or have a strong 8th house presence in their natal chart, this union may flourish in mutual fascination. However, if one or both harbor hidden trauma or suppressed shame, this intense connection could serve as a deterrent, overwhelming their senses. This celestial arrangement signifies the potential to unravel each other's hidden layers, maintaining a profound bond that might lead to mutual transformation. Yet, caution must be exercised to prevent power dynamics or manipulative tactics from seeping into their relationship. Ultimately, this celestial alignment can flourish if both are open to exploring the depths of each other's souls, embracing growth and transformation, and traversing the labyrinth of shared secrets.

💘 Sun in the 9th house: The Sun weaves golden threads into the 9th house tapestry, infusing wisdom's domain with the vibrancy of its radiance. This divine dance resonates with the seekers, the dreamers, those who chart the star-studded expanse of their fate, guided by an insatiable thirst for depth and meaning. The Sun, a luminary beacon, casts an ethereal glow on the winding paths of philosophy, spirituality, and the rich tapestry of global culture, sparking a flame in the 9th house soul, igniting the tinder of curiosity and wanderlust. In the sacred dance of their divergent or converging beliefs, they find a melody, a rhythm that binds them in an intricate ballet of understanding. Their shared intrigue transcends the constraints of culture, religion, and philosophy, knitting them closer in the vast expanse of human thought. Together, they traverse oceans, cross continents, and journey through the labyrinth of the mind and the world, venturing into territories unseen and unexplored. Yet caution must be heeded, for clashing perspectives may strike discordant notes, marring the celestial harmony. But through the crucible of understanding and growth, they shall rise, bound by a shared quest for enlightenment and truth. Soaring high, they ascend to the sublime realm of knowledge, guided by the radiant beacon of the Sun.

💘 Sun in the 10th house: The Sun, in its radiant glory, casts a shimmering glow upon the 10th house, bathing the lofty pinnacles of ambition, authority, and societal prestige in golden light. The 10th house individual beholds the Sun, seeing within its fiery aura the embodiment of a mentor, a guiding star, perhaps even a paternal figure. In this celestial dance, the Sun nurtures the dormant seeds of promise within the 10th house soul, kindling a fire that empowers them to scale the towering heights of professional achievement and public recognition. Unseen currents may churn, as the tides of power and authority ebb and flow, wrestling for harmonious balance. Should the rhythm of their hearts align, with the melody of guidance and humility ringing louder than the discordant notes of dominance, their shared journey shall carve a path to victory in the grand stage of career and societal prominence. Together, they'll ascend the mountain of success, guided by the Sun's resplendent glow.

💘 Sun in the 11th house: As the Sun anoints the 11th house with its golden kiss, souls intertwined in this celestial ballet discover a fellowship deeper than mere companionship. They merge as confidants, their dreams and aspirations entwining like tendrils of starlight, fueled by a shared devotion to the grand tapestry of humanity. Hand in hand, they champion noble crusades, threading their bond of friendship through a loom of diversity and acceptance. The Sun, a celestial minstrel, serenades the 11th house soul, inspiring them to dance in the unique rhythm of their being. In turn, the 11th house individual perceives the Sun as a lighthouse of acceptance, its unwavering beam illuminating their path in times of tumult. For hearts fluttering to the cadence of romance, seek reinforcement from other heavenly harmonies, for a profound friendship forms the bedrock of enduring love.This cosmic duet, a symphony of souls, signals unity, mutual respect, and a shared pledge to a future as radiant as the Sun. Their shared bond, an ethereal waltz, tells a tale of harmony, shared dreams, and a commitment to a collective dawn where every dream finds its home.

💘 Sun in the 12th house: As the Sun slips into the enigmatic embrace of the 12th house, its bright sovereignty is shrouded in gauzy veils of mystique, spirituality, and the unseen. To the house person, the Sun appears as an ethereal apparition, a spectral force oscillating between healing and bewildering, like a siren's call echoing through the vast and shadowy cosmos. Shrouded in the silken shadows of the subconscious, their connection pulses like a hidden heartbeat, a secret rhythm known only to them. This clandestine bond invites introspection and self-discovery, a voyage into the deep waters of their shared consciousness. For the Sun person, the depths of the 12th house may feel like a labyrinth of twilight, where their radiant essence is held in a silent waltz, yearning for the symphony of expression. When suspicion or paranoia creep into this celestial bond, trust must be kindled like a beacon in the deep, for their connection thrives on the revelation of buried truths and the unearthing of the divine spark within. With hearts aglow and an attuned awareness of their spiritual dance, they navigate the labyrinthine realms of the soul, transcending the mortal shackles, and ascending into an otherworldly romance. This sacred journey, a testament to their courage, becomes an intimate dance between two souls weaving their way through the cosmic tapestry, seeking the divine in each other.

Thank you for staying til the very end loves, I hope you enjoy this as much as I do, let me know your thoughts in the comment🤍

love,

saint jenx🪐

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mitfloya · 4 months

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𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐒𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐘𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬: 𝐗𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐫

pairings. Xavier x gn!reader

wc. 1K

synopsis. Xavier's unwavering obsession with you transcends the boundaries of time and space. No matter how vast the universe may be, he is determined to find you in every lifetime. With an unyielding determination, he is willing to traverse the furthest reaches, even to the edge of the universe, just to ensure that you are by his side. Any who dare to come between you will be swiftly dealt with, for in Xavier's eyes, you are destined to be together and he will stop at nothing to protect that bond.

warnings. The following content contains elements of obsessive behavior, yandere thoughts, stalking, possessive behavior, and may include poorly written narratives. Reader is referred to as 'you'. Proceed with caution, as this writing may be unsettling or uncomfortable for some individuals.

a/n. In the next week I'll be planning to make my first fic and it will be a yandere themed and planning a big project on my AO3 acc later, also I'm currently busy with making c.ai hsr angsty bots and fluff themed LaDS bots. Be sure to check my fic or bots later! Grab some snacks and I hope you enjoy reading this hc ♡

♡ Please reblog and comment on this post are much, much appreciated ♡

Don't be fooled by his unassuming appearance, for you never know what lies behind that innocent and sunshine-filled face of his.

If you thought Zayne was the hardest to read, then you're wrong.

At first glance, he appears like any regular civilian, hiding his true nature behind a carefully constructed facade. He avoids discussing his background, creating an air of mystery around him.

As time passes and you both continue to cross paths, Xavier's presence in your life becomes more than just coincidence. The moments spent together, the shared laughter, and the mutual support Xavier effortlessly establishes a friendship that feels natural and authentic.

As the bond between you strengthens, Xavier's presence becomes a source of comfort and solace. His unwavering dedication to your well-being is evident in the small gestures of kindness, the thoughtful words, and the unwavering support he provides.

The nicest guy you’ve ever met, he is always there to lend a helping hand, whether it's assisting you with your own challenges or guiding you through difficult situations. His genuine care and concern for your well-being are evident in every interaction, as he goes above and beyond to ensure your happiness and safety.

So how can you ever suspect anything weird when he spends his time reading and sleeping all the time? While he may possess formidable fighting skills and experience, his gentle nature and soothing presence overshadow any doubts that may arise.

Xavier's aura alone brings you comfort, lulling you into a sense of security that makes it nearly impossible to question his motives.

Even if he is physically out of reach, Xavier constantly assures you that he is by your side.

He makes it clear that all you need to do is call for him, and he will come to you, no matter the distance or the obstacles. It is as if he has sworn an unbreakable oath to be your loyal knight, ready to protect and support you at all costs.

In Xavier's eyes, you are the center of his universe, the one person who holds the key to his heart. He sees himself as your guardian, ready to sacrifice anything and everything to ensure your well-being.

Thus why falling for him was easy.

Too easy that you didn’t realize you have fallen into the depths of his twisted love.

Xavier possesses an uncanny ability to blend into society seamlessly, making it nearly impossible for others to suspect his true nature.

From the moment you first encountered Xavier, there was a cosmic force that bound you together, like star-crossed lovers fated to meet repeatedly. Even amidst chaos and unfortunate circumstances, Xavier always finds his way to your side, just as he promised long ago.

It was not cosmic force or fate, it was all his doings.

Death may be your constant companion, but Xavier is your eternal lover. No entity, not even a deity, can come between the inseparable bond that exists between you. Death is merely a phase, he will find you in another life.

From the moment he first laid eyes on you, he knew that you were meant to be his. He firmly believes that your destinies are entwined, that you were never meant for anyone else, and he will go to great lengths to ensure that no one else lays claim to your heart.

To Xavier, you are the sole focus of his existence. Xavier's devotion knows no boundaries, as he is willing to sacrifice anything and anyone to ensure your safety and happiness.

Why do you think he goes extra lengths to provide you with everything? Because he loves you.

Was it a coincidence that he was your neighbor? Of course not!

Every action he takes, every sacrifice he makes, is fueled by a love that surpasses all reason.

He meticulously plans your encounters, orchestrating seemingly random meetings to further deepen the illusion of coincidence.

He has a network of informants and spies who provide him with information about you. He has carefully cultivated relationships with people in your life, gaining their trust and loyalty. These individuals unknowingly feed him information, allowing him to stay one step closer to you at all times.

He lives in the shadows, unseen and unnoticed, but his presence is always felt. He knows your routines, your habits, your deepest fears and desires. His knowledge of you is intimate, as if he has studied every minute detail of your existence.

Would he sacrifice himself for you to continue to live? Without hesitation. To Xavier, your life is the ultimate prize, and he would gladly lay down his own to ensure your survival.

Xavier's perception of the world is warped by his obsession, blurring the lines between what is real and what he desires to be real. He sees you as his possession, his soulmate, his reason for existence.

Time and fate will always be his obstacle as they’re conspiring against his absurd ideas. However, he refuses to be content with mere obsessions or imaginations; he wants you and him to become a reality.

In the early stages, even before being in a relationship, Xavier exhibits subtle signs of jealousy. His protective nature, while initially endearing, can become suffocating as the relationship progresses.

Once you are officially together, his jealousy becomes more pronounced and dangerous, leading to harm or even death for those who dare to steal you away.

No need to check on the news headline. Lifeless bodies scattered like fallen leaves, has become all too common, it’s the cause of wanderer has been ramping up lately, angel.

It was partially not the cause of wanderers.

Even in the face of your defiance, you are acutely aware of the futility of your resistance. He will abduct you, whisking you away to a distant planet, far beyond the reach of prying eyes from the world.

In this alternate reality, you are left with no choice but to accept your fate. The notion of escape becomes nothing more than a distant dream.

The stars become witnesses to your eternal entwining, as the universe itself seems to acknowledge the dark and twisted love that binds you both.

#love and deep space #love and deepspace #love and deepspace headcanons #yandere love and deepspace #yandere hcs #xavier love and deepspace #xavier #shen xinghui #yandere xavier #yandere xavier x reader #yandere xavier x you #yandere xavier x yn #xavier x reader #xavier x you #xavier x y/n #dividers by cafekitsune

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melodic-haze · 18 days

Note

remote vibrator in public w sub robin?? 👀

☆ — DEMO TRACK: sub!Robin x dom!Reader

☆ — TYPE: NSFW

☆ — CONTENT WARNINGS: Exhibitionism, mentions of corruption, semi-public sex mentions at the end

☆ — NOTES: Wait I didn't even realise I had essentially already done this oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭😭 anyway is a cheeky Robin ooc I wonder if it is..........my bad gang I actually haven't finished Penacony yet 😭 ik like spoilers

Such a move spells TROUBLE for a universal celebrity like her.............good thing she likes the trouble you put her through ☺️

You've seen how she dedicates herself to her multimedia craft, putting her all into performing arts for the sake of inspiring people and making everyone happy. Now, you want to see how she does with.......performing for a different reason :3

"Such a risk would be much more trouble than it's worth, you know."

"If it's 'so much trouble', then why are you smiling like that?"

"Maybe I just find your request amusing. You know that the press are determined to spot anything that may give them a good scoop."

It's not as if Robin was wrong—a cosmically-famous figure like her would be risking the possibility of complete and utter ruination with such deviancy, along with.. well, having to face her brother. And The Family too, but mostly her brother. She had the right to be worried.

..But, well, she doesn't really seem to be worried right now, despite her words. If anything, the expression on her face as she leaned on the wall and the slight fluttering of her wings showed a different feeling.

As if she were the cat that got the cream.

"Uh huh," you leaned back on the chaise with a knowing look, eyes narrowed and arms crossed, "what I know is you're not saying no..."

She lets out a false sigh as she pushed herself off the wall to head to you, "Aw, I thought I led you off my trail."

"Like you do with the press? Oh, please." You rolled your eyes, "I know you much better than that."

"You seem so sure."

"Am I wrong?"

"Mm.. no, I guess you're not."

Then she sits down on your lap and wraps her arms around your neck, the wings on her hips wrapping themselves around the both of you like a barrier that separates you from the rest of the world, "And neither are you wrong about my lack of your refusal."

Your hands snake themselves over to your lover's waist.. before moving down further and lightly squeezing her ass, "So that's a yes?"

"Mhm," she hummed, her voice reduced to a raspy whisper, "I could never resist you, sweetheart."

"What a coincidence—I could never resist you either. Must be a Halovian thing, with that halo of yours."

"Haha, who knows."

And that leads on to your present situation: Robin, as an important member of The Family and a famous singer, was invited to a gala as a special guest. Naturally, she attended and was thankful that they allowed her to invite a plus-one. Considering that Sunday had his own invitation, you were practically the most obvious pick out of everyone she could've chosen, both because you were her most important person.......and because this was a perfect opportunity for the both of you

So here she was, clinging to your arm as you talked to some.. some random who was (unsurprisingly) one of Robin's fans, one that's REALLY obsessed with her too, apparently. And really, she wasn't sure whether to thank you for giving her a different thing to focus on or silently plead to you somehow to cut it out, but she essentially clamped her mouth shut for most of the time you were there, not actually trusting herself to let out a coherent sentence

Not just with that one guy too, you do this through the night—your hand mostly in your pocket as you manipulated the controls of the vibrator within her, usually during inconvenient moments to mess with her a bit

During times you're left alone with her as everyone else goes to do other things and talk to other people, you taunt her of how if she doesn't hide it good enough then people miiiight start suspecting something's wrong ☺️☺️ and she wouldn't wanna ruin her career like this, would she ☺️☺️☺️☺️ oh that'd be such a huge shame ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

At first she does actually taunt you back, lightly boasting to you that it takes a lot more to faze her and that it's sweet of you to try...........but as the night progresses you find that she fires back at you less and less, your favourite songbird getting increasingly more quiet, just like how her panties are getting increasingly wetter. But she bares with it with a smile anyway, disregarding the rosy tint in her cheeks as simply applying too much blush HAHAHAHA

It's not just when you two are together either!!! You've both made sure that the toy has a big enough range that you can walk around without the connection being severed from the distance, so it was rather easy for you to manipulate it even while you were away from her. Oh, and how FUN it is, esp when you see her try to look around for you as her wings flutter restlessly

It's actually rather impressive to watch though—even when the night toiled away and it got increasingly harder for her to stop herself from cumming herself silly from sheer frustration, she keeps herself in check. It's almost as if she were completely unbothered, acting the perfect part as a beautiful socialite at a grand event as she sang with (very false) confidence. You would've been fooled......if it weren't for the fact that she had telepathised her need for you to just bend her over somewhere and fuck her dumb instead of letting her continue with this toy inside of her. You almost feel bad

Keyword: almost, especially when you decide to get braver and mess with her a liiiiittle bit more. And she would've been fine with it!!! At least, if it weren't for the fact that this was with HER FUCKING BROTHER LOL

Halovians, the musical and emotional creatures that they are, can probably communicate via special frequencies right?? At least, that's my personal hc, like you can't actually use a radio to intercept it and listen in bc it's like a Halovian-specific kinda thing that can only be read through their halos. Idk how they work lol don't sic me

Anyway through that logic, I feel like Sunday picked up signals of distress from his little sister. He's probably more sensitive to her frequencies too, with how yk. They're related. Like sharing genetic code except it's like if you look at a sound visualiser and see multiple lines at once and the Oak siblings have that one similar line or smth. So he can tell that SOMETHING is wrong with her, just not what specifically (esp when Robin's probably trying her best to block out signals of her lust from ever notifying her brother that smth more is happening)

"Are you certain you're feeling alright, Robin?" Sunday's voice held a sense of urgency and protectiveness, as expected of the one that had been there for her as the one constant before she had left Penacony, "I can tell that something is off.. and your feathers are a bit ruffled."

The worried emotions he had sent to Robin, along with a request to pry into her psychical wellbeing, didn't help the singer at all in terms of calming down—the possibility of her beloved brother becoming unwillingly privy to the fact that her inner workings are so utterly perverse and corrupted scares her. The fact that you had slowly switched the vibe's speed between an agonisingly slow pace and an upward climb as the exchange went on added to the torture.

Though compared to the rest of the night, this time actually felt like you were taking mercy on her, with the way you hadn't decided to suddenly ramp the intensity up out of nowhere.

(And there was that twisted feeling inside her that actually liked the thought of being an R-rated spectacle in front of all these people around them still threatening to take her focus away.)

To keep up the charade as she continued to block Sunday's attempts in peering into her enotions, she could only do what she did best; perform. So she nods her head with a smile, though the latter action didn't really need that much acting, "Yes, I'm feeling alright. I appreciate the concern, brother, but nothing's wrong. Perhaps it's just exhaustion—I don't know how you.. mm.. how you deal with it all the time."

"I could say the same to you," he reciprocates her smile, if a tad bit crooked from his worry, "I think it takes a lot of inner strength, to take on the attention of a universal crowd. Luckily, I know you can more than handle it."

The blue-haired sibling hummed, her smile widening from her brother's confidence, "It's because I know I have you to fall back-- on..!"

The grey-haired sibling furrowed her eyebrows in turn at the sudden yelp, "Are you quite sure you're okay..? You're worrying me, dear sister."

...

Yeah, no, she couldn't carry on such a conversation like this.

Another nod as she digs her nails into her palms in an effort to redirect her thoughts from the overflow of slick in the apex of her thighs, "Y-Yes, I'm fine... I think I just need to take a walk around to.. calm myself. I feel rather warm."

He doesn't reply immediately, leaving Robin in suspense. Could he have figured it out?

..Turns out no, as he lets out a small sigh, "Alright, just remember to tell me if something's wrong, yes? I don't want your comeback here to be an unpleasant one."

"I will, thank you."

She turns around in a hurry—though not that much of a hurry, lest he either gets more suspicious or she somehow makes the toy's effect worse—and leaves, making a beeline for you before grabbing onto your wrist and dragging you off before you could say a word (though the small smirk on your face said all you needed to say).

And Sunday clocks the two of you leaving the main hall together with a raised brow. His initial instinct is to go investigate himself—he knew better than to believe his sister's act, of course... But he thought better of it.

He had an inkling that perhaps this wasn't something he should involve himself in.

And his gut feeling was right, esp when Robin dragged you out and into the first private, empty room she found, pushed you down and started grinding onto your lap like a bitch in heat 🥰🥰🥰🥰

People are going to talk for a WHILE about your sudden disappearance, the both of you KNOW this very well, but right now? Robin doesn't gaf, not when her mind's been reduced to a horny mess as she begs you to finally get her off yourself. Whether you do or you DON'T??? Up to you LMAO

Either way, it's DEFINITELY something unforgettable........and dare I say, tellingly exposing of what your songbird likes 🫶

"Why do I deal with such risks again?"

"Because you love me?"

"..Mm. Yes, that's true."

"Wait, really? That's giving me too much power, birdie."

"And that's perfectly fine," her lips curl into a light grin, "There's nobody else I'd rather obey."

#hazy demos!#hazy explicits!#hsr robin x reader #robin x reader #hsr robin smut #robin smut #sub robin #honkai star rail x reader #honkai star rail imagines #honkai star rail smut #sub honkai star rail #hsr x reader #hsr imagines #hsr smut #sub hsr #hsr women x reader #hsr women imagines #hsr women smut #sub hsr women

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youremyheaven · 10 months

Text

The 12th House in Astrology 🧜‍♀️🧚‍♀️ 🦋

(this can apply to both tropical and vedic placement of 12th house because regardless of the system employed, the energy felt and experienced is the same :-)

Most people have a lot of prejudice about the 12h and its energies. There is a largely negative portrayal of it in the mainstream astro community and very little nuanced discussion of the same. So, I thought I'd make a post exploring the 12th and final house in astrology and add more to the existing narrative regarding it.

The 12h is commonly described as the house of loss, liberation, isolation and decline

This house is said to governs misery, waste, expenses as well as divine knowledge, sympathy, Moksha (final emancipation) and life after death. It is also the house of detachment.

Now those are a lot of very contradictory terms. How could a house govern both loss and divine knowledge?

The 12th house and water houses (4h, 8h & 12h) in general are very complex and easily misunderstood. The thing about water is that it has no shape or form of its own, it takes the form of whatever vessel its poured into. another thing about water is that its the most easily polluted element. Water energy is one that must be precariously balanced because these natives easily absorb the influence of others (good or bad), this is one reason why the 12h is the house of "loss" because it truly is the death of the individual. you know those quotes about "i am an amalgamation of every person ive met, every book ive read, every song i loved...." 12housers are actually built like that.

being a 12h native can be rewarding because you absorb absolutely everything like a cosmic sponge but on the other hand, its very easy to lose all sense of self.

especially natives with 12h stelliums may often find it difficult to not take everything so personally. this is not because they think the world revolves around them but because its hard for them to separate themselves from others and their actions. they're personally of the type where everything they say or do is tailored specifically to the person they're interacting with. they may not even be aware that they're doing this, they pick up on energies almost by osmosis and guide their conduct that way. however they must realize that this is peculiar to them and is not something others are naturally accustomed to doing.

there is a reason why Venus exalts in the 12h. you lose all sense of self and give yourself completely to your lover with utmost devotion. love is sacred and profound to them, they will do absolutely anything for their love. which is why they have to be so careful with picking their partners. they have limitless capacity for giving but if you give to the wrong person, you'll be drained. when you merge with the right person, your cup never goes empty with your giving because your union satiates you completely.

if we were to think of houses 1 to 11 as a path of linear development, starting with the 1st house of self & identity and ending with the 11th house of friendship, community & legacy, then we will understand that after an individual goes through all these stages, the only thing left for them to do is seek liberation from this cycle; this is why 12h is the house of Moksha. once you've fulfilled your material desires, you will feel a lack in your life and the only thing left to do is pursue the path of spirituality. Moksha is however not given to one; one must strive for it.

this journey is a deeply personal one and liberation from one's ego and earthly pursuits is far from easy. no matter what these natives do, ultimately, they wont feel satisfied unless they've nourished themselves spiritually.

sometimes these natives may indulge in drugs or other substances to fill the void but as they evolve they will understand what theyre truly yearning for is the spiritual truth.

more often than not, these natives experience "spiritual awakenings" completely unprompted. god decides its time and it happens. much of their early life can be very dark and this "awakening" marks the beginning of a shift in their life. this happens in stages depending on the level of their spiritual evolution.

the 12th house is the house of isolation because what these natives experience is not something that others can understand easily. they are the most likely to develop psychosomatic conditions, simply because their energetic body is so susceptible to influence.

think of the vast endless ocean. can one individual possibly drink up all of that water? its absurd to even consider it. thats kind of what its like to be a 12h native. there's a limitless reservoir to tap into, the energy is so vast that its confusing and disorienting and you have no idea what to do with it. its very easy to be misguided as well. this is why its the house of decline. you have to constantly be on the look out in order to avoid the pitfalls, otherwise its easy to stagnate and easy to harm yourself.

There is a Latin quote that goes as follows:

"What nourishes me, destroys me"

This sums up 12th house energy pretty much. Its the energy of opposites and paradoxes. You need this endless reservoir to function, its the thing that feeds you but if you're not careful, it can also lead you to your own ruin.

Fun fact: Angelina Jolie has this quote tattooed on her. She is a Revati Moon. Pisces occupies the 12th house.

remember that Pisces' symbol is of two fishes swimming in opposite directions. this shows that the innate nature of these natives is to be torn between polarising energies and opposing forces. it is a balancing act to say the least.

these natives are easily misunderstood, simply because there is SO much to them. whatever you think they are, thats what they're not.

going back to the cosmic ocean metaphor, its easy to see how such abundance can feel like an excess and lead to misery and wastefulness. its simply a LOT to handle, not just for others but even for these natives themselves. this is one reason why so many of these natives tend to keep to themselves.

even the more sociable 12h natives often have an interior life that no one will know about, they have a whole another side to them that they keep separate, just because they want to assert complete ownership of this private side as something that belongs only to them and the other, more "public" side that they give to others.

these natives are the most empathetic and if you look at the charts of most "legendary" actors, they'll either have pisces/12h luminaries. empathy does not quite cut it, they can not only feel what others are feeling but embody it fully and experience it as their own. this is what makes them incredible actors. even non-actor 12h natives process things this way and often find that others around them are insensitive or lacking the same capacity. they do not understand why others don't feel as deeply as they do or understand situations the way they do. they find society at large to be very callous and apathetic.

a 12th house native is also capable of feeling apathy and absolute indifference but this is very selective; the 12h is the house of detachment because as it is, they're tethered to the world by a thin cord and are only very mildly connected to things. they're in this world but seldom inhabit it. another side to this is that they're wildly imaginative. although mercury debilitates in the 12h, it does not affect the native too badly, as they simply channel their thoughts into other forms. they are gifted at communicating abstract ideas and make excellent artists due to the same reason. robbed of any sense of what is "practical" or "realistic", they roam free in the realm of the mind. many abstract, surrealist and expressionist artists have either Pisces or other water sign placements in their big 3.

these natives live a life of non-being, as they're already so detached from everything, including themselves; this is not negative on its own and will manifest differently for different individuals; this can mean that they're extremely empathetic or detached to the point of inaction and passivity in extreme cases; they dont find a lot of things to be meaningful and its hard for them to apply themselves because of it. this gives us a glimpse of what life is like after death.

the 12th house also represents spirituality, introspection, foreign travels, hidden enemies, & the subconscious mind and it is the house of endings and undoing.

12th house natives are always intrigued by all things foreign, they feel like they do not belong to the place they're from and feel connected to cultures and people that are foreign to them. since they themselves feel like an alien or are made to feel that way, they feel naturally at ease in foreign places and cultures where everything is alien. they often settle overseas.

these natives court attention wherever they go, because the 12h energy is a very distinct and potent one. a lot of celebrities have it and its a very common fame indicator. due to this reason, they also attract enemies who remain unknown to them. these natives are seldom if ever, engaged in actual feuds with people and if they are, its usually for righteous reasons or because the other person started it. theyre wayyyy too peace loving and lowkey to pick fights with others. this is why they dont know who is speaking ill of them behind their back. they're always minding their own business and it surprises them that others are not doing the same.

everybody is guided by their subconscious and one major part of spirituality is to try and make ourselves more conscious. 12h representing spirituality (the cosmic ocean) makes even more sense considering its opposite (2 fishes swimming in opposite directions) which is the unknown, the subconscious. to be spiritual means to seek truth and to seek answers and swim towards the subconscious to shed light to it and understand it better.

lastly, it is the house of endings and undoing. 12h being the final concluding house represents the end of the cycle. when a cycle ends, the energy is of a complete transformation. only when something has reached completion can it come to an end. the butterfly does not emerge unformed but as a completely fully formed butterfly. the end marks the beginning. the 12h gives way to the 1h.

the creature in the cocoon was not a butterfly. it only became a butterfly when it emerged from the cocoon and to do so means loss of an old identity, loss of self, loss of all that you've ever known. this is your undoing. in order to become somebody else, in order to ascend, we have to be willing to undo ourselves. this is essential to any spiritual practice. we have to rid ourselves and our flimsy shell of identity in order to grow further.

for the same reason, 12housers are constantly transforming. they're the type of people who seem to have lived 10 different lives in one. be it their style, lifestyles, jobs, you name it, they're constantly undoing and transforming themselves. it seems to be the only way they know how to live. once theyve gathered all they can at one place, they outgrow it and change themselves almost entirely afterwards as they venture into something new.

thats it for now. i hope this shed some light on the 12h condition hehe<333

#astrology notes #vedic astro notes #astrology observations #sidereal astrology #astrology #astro observations #astro notes #astroblr #12th house #twelfth house #pisces #astro community

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moineauz · 6 months

Text

જ⁀ 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 are you to 𝐌𝐄 ?

To Blade, you were the sun stretching over a vibrant pasture of may flowers that broke like the golden yolk of an egg.

To Blade, you were the twirling winds of summertime as your smile emulated the very warmth of the sun and a dash of charming playfulness which never once failed to lighten the strain of burdens. Naturally flowing away like a stream of water or a feather in the wind.

To Blade, your patience was as steadfast and serene as a lake in still waters, the moon dancing overhead while you planted stars on his scars through tender kisses he did not deserve. Boundless and ever so infinite like your soul.

To Blade, you were both an instrument and it’s player: a sweet melody that echoed in his ears every daunting moment when the whispers of the past clouded his mind. Spotlight gracing your skin as the tunes of a forgotten tenderness swirled up into the air like the steam of tea rising from a cup. Thus, no matter his efforts or restraint, Blade kept finding himself at your front door, and thus, in your arms. Time and time again.

To Blade, each step you graced the ground with brought forth life: a child’s laughter, an old woman’s smile, the scent of honeysuckles. That was all your doing.

And Blade, was forever a shadow of destruction that was doomed to a life as devoid and blank as a starless night. Nevertheless, you were the stars. You littered yourself in his life; setting a subtle twinkle in the abyssal night of his being despite his lifeless form.

You were made of cosmic dust, maple wood and all the collective dreams of the universe. And Blade, who was undone bit by bit, followed you like a shadow looming behind in longing.

It had been so long since another soul touched him without underlying motives. He feared that.

Why did you harbour him in your house absent of fear? Why did your persistence invoke warm sensations? Why did your eyes unfailingly meet his?

Blade was keen on understanding you, yet, he gradually realized there was simply nothing to understand. Truth rolled of your tongue with ease and as for Blade, it got stuck in his throat, dying off. Yes, you were far from perfect, nevertheless, you carried yourself despite every thorn pricking your skin. Carving your way through each cavern; leaving subtle traces of discovery for him to follow.

The feeling swelled in his chest like a disease— and it terrified him. And yet, he could not put a name to it. A name to how his eyes lingered a touch longer than they should or how you rubbed his back. (And for the first time, he did not flinch at your touch or grab you by the arm.)

Thus, when the Astral Express offered you the chance to become a passenger, Blade clenched his fist and held his breath.

It was no wonder they asked you. After all, you were the polar opposite of what a Stellaron Hunter should be. You were amiable, mindful, calm, merciful yet seemingly lighthearted like a child.

Blade told himself that he dared not involve himself. You were a person of your own free will. Thus, you would deal with the consequences. There was no regard for him.

Nevertheless, the urge to tear you away from the conversation thrummed through his vile veins.

However, your reply would be forever ingrained in his sullen memory for the rest of eternity.

"I am honoured that you would consider me Mr. Yang," you articulate kindly, a smile reaching your lips, "But, I'm afraid I must decline."

"Oh? How so?"

You emit a silky chuckle, "If you asked me three years ago, I would have readily agreed," you pause then continue with vibrant eyes, "But, there are people I care for with my own life. It would be my biggest regret to leave them."

Until Blade can learn to fathom the extent of his own emotions, he will continue to linger beside you like a phantom or a shadow. Subconsciously yearning to nestle himself in your warmth, yet, always going through, a mere ghost of an absent lover in your presence.

masterlist

more angst :0 i think most of my blog will be angst lmao. btw this was originally posted on my other account @/mignonne02. i just took it down there. thank you for all the support! it makes me really excited to write more >> (please request btw) especially on my last post (diluc angst for life)

#honkai star rail #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x you #star rail x reader #blade angst #blade x reader #honkai star rail images #honkai star rail angst #writing ᝰ.ᐟ

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angelwonie · 2 years

Text

CHERRY CHAPSTICK || hwang hyunjin

PAIRING: hyunjin x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 8.9k

SUMMARY: being hopelessly in love with your best friend is bad enough in itself, but when you decide to spontaneously kiss him at a party and he kisses you back — that's when it gets complicated. or maybe it's not complicated at all.

GENRE(S): smut, fluff, childhood friends to lovers, mutual pining

WARNINGS: smut [unprotected sex, fingering, praise, manhandling, use of petnames], consumption of alcohol, hyunjin is a simp

happy birthday deni @cosmic-railwayxo my gf!! i love you so much and i hope you like this gift babe

It’s not all that difficult to pretend Hwang Hyunjin is your friend.

Okay, clarification – Hwang Hyunjin is, in fact, your friend. For real. No pretending is required. You suppose that’s a given after he’s been by your side for the past seven or so years. And through all those years, he has time after time proved himself to be the shoulder you can lean on no matter what. Which means that your friendship is perfect.

In a perfect friendship, there is no room for secrets, though. No facades or lies. So maybe it’s not a perfect friendship, after all. At least not on your part. Because you do keep secrets from Hyunjin. One secret, actually. One thing you can never tell him, no matter how badly you want him to know, just because you’re way too scared of losing him.

The fact that you’re madly in love with him.

Your best friend. Hwang fucking Hyunjin. It’s the most annoying thing ever. Only you are unlucky enough to fall for the one person you shouldn’t fall for.

Your self-pitying is cut short when you hear your phone buzz and the phone caller ID shows up on the screen. Of course, it’s Hyunjin. You sigh, rolling out of bed as you pick up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’m outside,” He greets you. “Are you ready?”

Ready? It takes your brain a second or two to process what he just said and then it hits you. You’re supposed to meet up with your friends and go to an art museum together. One look at the clock on the wall tells you you’re already running late – you’re supposed to meet them at the museum at 1pm, which means you have less than twenty minutes left. And you’re still in your pajamas.

“Uh,” You bite your lip, frantically searching for a shirt to wear as you hear Hyunjin giggle through the phone. That alone makes you smile despite your situation – he’s got such a pretty laugh. If you could, you’d record it and listen to it every night before going to sleep.

“It was a rhetorical question,” He says. “I know you just woke up. Just hurry up, okay? It’s cold out here, so wear a jacket.”

“Okay.”

He hangs up and you’re left smiling, not only because of his laugh, but also because he cared enough to tell you to put on a jacket. Of course, he did, you mentally scold yourself, because he’s your friend, dumbass. You put your clothes on quickly so as not to keep Hyunjin waiting for too long and apply your cherry Chapstick – the one you've been using ever since Hyunjin mentioned cherries were his favorite fruit.

You walk out the door with your jacket slung around your shoulders around ten minutes later.

He’s leaning against the wall of your apartment building, looking down at his phone with his black hair falling into his eyes in a way that looks totally planned, because there's just no way those hair strands arrange themselves like that naturally. What is he, pretending to be a model because God forbid if one day passes without some random girl asking for his number? You scoff a little too loudly at the thought, and it makes his head snap up, eyes meeting yours as he puts his phone in his pocket.

“Finally,” He drawls, dramatically as always, as the two of you start walking in the direction of the bus stop. It’s automatic now – when you’re going somewhere, you always take the bus together. “I would’ve freezed to death had you taken any longer.”

“Oh, shut up,” You nudge him with your elbow, smiling when he lets out an all too loud ‘ouch’, rubbing his arm like you just punched him with all your might. “Why are you so excited about this, anyway? Haven’t you been to that museum, like, seventy times?”

“So?” He furrows his brows. “It’s still refreshing to look at paintings, even if you've seen them thousands of times. Art is timeless, you know.”

You hold back a smile. Hyunjin really has a way with words. You don’t think you’ve ever heard anybody talk the way he does – like the whole world lies in the palm of his hand but he doesn’t realize it. But maybe that’s just your own feelings talking. Either way, the way he speaks is one of the things you love most about him, and so, it has simultaneously become one of the things you have to pretend to hate.

“And there you go with that hopelessly romantic talk again,” You’ve reached the bus station, so you stop walking, and so does Hyunjin.

The air’s not as cold as Hyunjin had claimed, but with how much wind there is, you don’t regret putting on a jacket at all. You lean against the bus stop sign, eyes darting to look at Hyunjin as you wait. He’s deep in thought, you realize, with his hands buried deep in his pockets and his gaze scanning the area like he hasn’t seen it a billion times before. He really does find beauty in everything, you think to yourself. The wind ruffles Hyunjin’s hair and he closes his eyes to feel the breeze – a simple act yet it’s enough to make you question whether you’ve got a hopelessly romantic mindset, too.

Maybe you only have that when it comes to him. Is that even possible? You suppose it’s just as possible as falling in love with your best friend – unlikely, but not impossible at all. You’re living proof of that.

The bus arrives and Hyunjin looks back subtly as he’s entering to make sure you’re following. It’s sweet. He’s sweet. Oh, what a tragedy this whole thing is. Probably even more tragic than those Shakespeare books you read unwillingly because Hyunjin said they were his favorites.

The bus is almost empty, so you plop down next to Hyunjin in some of the front seats. Your leg bumps into his accidentally and you snatch it back far too quickly, but he doesn’t seem to notice, glancing out of the window, tapping his fingers on his thigh to some tune. For a while, you look at his movements, trying to figure out what song he’s playing, but you give up soon enough when you can’t seem to recognize it. It’s way too early for that kind of thinking, anyway.

“We’re here,” You say when you arrive at your stop, well aware that Hyunjin knows it. That’s just another part of your routine, you guess. He picks you up, looks back when you enter the bus and you announce the stations for him even though he’s got it memorized. “They’re angry we’re late, aren’t they?”

“Probably,” He sighs. “I’ll just tell them the bus was late.”

It feels like your whole heart swells up at his words. Yes, Hyunjin knows you don’t like to get blamed for things and yes, he’s your best friend, so it would seem that it’s only natural he tells a white lie to save your ass.

Except Hyunjin doesn’t tell lies. He’s like the god of honesty or something, because you swear, all these years you know him, you’ve never heard him tell a lie. Not even when he and Changbin were planning your birthday party – when you asked him why he was busy, he told you straight up he was choosing what cake to buy. Changbin pretty much beat him up for that, and yet he did the same exact thing the year after that. Now there’s no beating up at stake and he’s willing to cover for you?

“Why would you do that?” You mumble to yourself as you walk behind him, the museum coming into view.

“Just ‘cause,” He says as you catch up to him, and you realize he must’ve heard you. “It’ll take up our time if they start whining about it. I’d rather look at paintings than hear them complain for half an hour.”

Ah. There it is. The reason he’s willing to lie. Of course, it’s because of the paintings, you should’ve known. He’s obsessed with them, after all. See, this is where having purely platonic feelings for Hyunjin would’ve been a major win. It would’ve been so much less painful if you weren’t getting your hopes up each time he did something remotely affectionate – you would’ve simply thought of them as friendly acts, not signs of his undying love for you. Guess you really are like Hyunjin, after all, if not a romantic, at least you’re hopeless.

“Good point,” You say, voice faltering just a bit.

After that, you just walk alongside him in silence until you reach the museum. As expected, your friends are standing out front, some of them talking loudly in between each other, and others smoking cigarettes. The smoke reaches you when you walk closer, and from the corner of your eye, you can glimpse how Hyunjin scrunches his nose up in disgust at the smell. Cute, you think to yourself, letting out a soft laugh.

“Hyunjin, Y/N,” Changbin is the first one to spot you, and soon every one of your friends is looking in your direction. “What the hell took you so long?”

“The bus didn’t arrive on time,” Hyunjin says instantly.

You look at him and he sends you a soft smile – one that drowns out the sound of Changbin’s annoyed voice and makes you zone out for just enough time to make Minho grab your wrist and pull you inside, muttering something about ‘wasting time’ under his breath. The two of you enter the museum first and show your tickets to the staff and stand in the hallway, waiting for the others.

“You’re making it obvious, you know,” Minho says as you smile in Hyunjin’s direction, and it makes you turn to him with a confused expression. “That you like him. It’s only a matter of time before he realizes it, too.”

You sigh in defeat. There’s no use in lying to him, he’s got you all figured out already, so instead, you just mumble a small ‘I really hope he doesn't’ and glare at him when he chuckles.

“You shouldn’t look this depressed even before he’s rejected you,” He comments and you scoff. Like he has any idea what it’s like to be in love with your fucking best friend. “What do you know, maybe he likes you, too.”

You roll your eyes at the way Minho wiggles his eyebrows at you, but you don’t get to do much more than that because all of a sudden all of your friends are there. Hyunjin is there, too, his shoulder brushes against yours when he stands next to you. How do you know that it’s him before you even turn to look at him? You have no idea, but you can just kind of tell the warmth you’re feeling is radiated by him. And it turns out to be true when you turn your head to the side, almost losing the ability to breathe when you’re met with his gaze already set on you.

He looks beautiful even in the poor lighting provided by the lamps above his head, eyes shining with this light they only hold when he’s surrounded by what he loves the most. Art. You can tell he’s happy even though he’s not smiling or laughing. It’s silent, his happiness, but for someone like you, someone who’s spent years looking at him, learning how to read him, it’s evident nonetheless.

“Someone’s happy,” You hum to Hyunjin after your friends have vanished to look at the erotic paintings, giggling like school girls and boys.

“Them? Yeah, they’re really enjoying this.”

“I meant you,” You follow him when he slowly walks to look at one of the paintings, examining it. His brows furrow and his jaw is set when he’s focused, and right now is no exception. “One would think you just won a million dollars from the way you’re skipping around.”

You don’t say that you think it’s adorable or that if it were up to you, you would come here every day just to see his eyes sparkle like that. His stare leaves the painting when you utter those words, moving to look at you with an expression you can’t figure out. Which is weird, because you know exactly how to read Hwang Hyunjin. Usually. But now, his eyes are a little widened, his lip pulled between his teeth, fingers tapping his hip like he doesn’t really know what to do with his hands. It stresses you out a little and makes your heart jump in your chest because you could swear for a moment his gaze fans down to your lips.

This only lasts a second or so, though, because soon enough, he turns his attention back to the painting in front of him. No words, no nothing. You walk a little closer, feeling kind of hurt that he’s so uninterested in holding a conversation. Maybe he senses something is wrong, or maybe his timing is just perfect, because not even a minute later, you hear him gasp quietly, shuffling next to you.

“Look,” He says just as you’re about to ask him what’s going on, and you turn around to look out of the window like him. You immediately recognize the vehicle you’re met with, a smile slowly spreading itself over your face. “It’s that food truck you mentioned last weekend, isn’t it? The one with the hamburgers you wanted to try”

“Yeah, it is.” You grin wider. He remembered. You were rambling about that food truck while he was trying to finish his homework, so you didn’t really expect him to listen. But he did.

“Let’s go, then,” He smiles, eyes still trained on the vehicle and sparkling.

“Wait-” You start, but before you can say anything else, his fingers wrap around your wrist and he drags you through the hall in a hurry. The paintings surrounding you start to blur when he starts running, his hand tugging at yours and forcing you to pick up the pace, too. He runs out the door and you shiver when the cool air hits your skin – now you’re really regretting leaving your jacket in the dressing room. Sensing your slight hesitation, Hyunjin whips his head around to look at you for a moment, before pulling at your hand again and jogging up to the food truck,

You’re left catching your breath as he orders something, just now realizing that you left all your friends behind at the museum. Hyunjin seems pretty unbothered, though, handing the seller his card, his cheeks a little red – probably from the cold air or all the running. You’re a hundred meters away from the museum now, and surely, your friends have noticed your absence, but you can’t really bring yourself to worry about that when you see the satisfied smile on Hyunjin’s face as the seller hands him his order.

It’s only then that you notice his hand is still holding onto yours, and you pull it back so quickly you hit your thumb on your thigh. It hurts a little, but the pain is dull compared to how fast your heart hammers against your chest – it’s like when you’ve run a few laps too much around the stadium, and it makes you feel dizzy and nauseous as hell. Hyunjin sends you an inquiring look, but you avert your gaze, waiting as he takes the order from the man inside the truck.

You’re so stupid. What if he understands you like him now? What if you’ve just ruined everything? You can’t act this weird. You’re supposed to be his best friend. But a friend wouldn’t react like this to his hand touching yours.

“Let’s sit,” You say this as he walks closer to you, partly to break the tension, but mostly because he’s making you nervous with the way he’s eyeing you cautiously like he’s trying to look into your soul and find out all your secrets. “There’s a table over here.”

You plop down on the chair furthest away from Hyunjin, even though it sparks up a feeling of guilt in your stomach. He might look like he doesn’t notice this – to someone that doesn’t know him, at least. But you do know him, and you can see how his jaw tightens, gaze a little absent. You can basically see the thoughts racing through his mind. You wonder if one of them has the suspicion that you like him.

“You realize we can’t go back inside after running out like that? Our tickets are in Lisa’s bag,” You say after a while, breaking the awkward silence. You don’t want it to be awkward. Not with him. So the best thing is to just pretend nothing happened. Essentially, you think, nothing did. “You won’t get to look at your precious paintings.”

Hyunjin shrugs and his gaze softens. “You said it yourself, I've seen them a million times before.”

You nod, reminded of the hamburger in your hand. It’ll get cold at this rate, you realize, and bite into it, mostly because you don’t know what else to say to Hyunjin. The food is great, though, so you’re thankful he brought you here. And thankful he remembered. But instead of thanking him, you’re acting like a crazy person – all because you’ve got this stupidly huge crush on him and everything he does makes your heart beat faster. Even though he probably only means it in a friendly way.

Wow, this is getting impressive. At this point, you’re just friend-zoning yourself so he won’t have to.

“Is it good?”

“What?” You look up at him with your mouth full of food. Hyunjin’s lips quirk upward, and it makes you want to die as you swallow. Why do these things always happen to you, of all people?

“The hamburger. Was it worth it?”

“Oh,” You say, this time making sure there’s no salad between your teeth. “Yeah. It’s really good.”

“Good. Let’s go then, if you’re done eating,” He smiles and stands up. Looking down at the lack of hamburger wrapping in his hands, you realize he didn’t buy anything for himself at the food truck, and it makes you knit your brows together in confusion. Why did he run all the way here, then? Especially when he could’ve stayed inside and admired those paintings he’s always gushing about instead?

You stand up, too, but as you take the first step in Hyunjin’s direction you basically trip over your feet. Or, as it turns out once you lower your gaze, your untied shoelaces. “Shit.”

Hyunjin interrupts your intentions of tying them by kneeling down himself, making you freeze in place as his fingers come up to tie the laces. You don’t say anything – just look at him from above, the way he moves his fingers swiftly, the way his muscles flex when he does it, and the way he needs to shield his eyes from the sun as he stands up (way too soon, according to you), flashing you a smile. It’s genuine and cute – one of the rare times he’s not laughing at you or smiling because the situation requires it.

“You should be more careful. Not tying your shoelaces is dangerous, especially for clumsy people like you.”

Your breath hitches in your throat, but you don't really get to react in any other way because suddenly, your friends jump out from behind the corner of the building you ran away from, crying out when they spot you. They’ve been looking for you, that much you can gather, but your eyes linger on Hyunjin, and Hyunjin only.

Vaguely, you can hear how they’re complaining about you and him ‘leaving them out’, but you can’t really focus on the words spilling out of their mouths, mind occupied with replaying the picture of Hyunjin tying your shoes earlier, the way his smile made you weak in the knees. You seriously need to stop thinking about him this way.

But you can’t. Not when you’re so hopelessly in love with him.

—

Parties aren't really Hyunjin’s thing.

Of course, he enjoys spending time with his friends, and he doesn't really mind hanging out as a group and drinking. But these kinds of parties – sweaty bodies everywhere, all too loud music and cheap alcohol mixed with the sight of people hooking up in the open – he genuinely despises. There are way too many people and way too little space.

You don't feel the same way about parties. That much is obvious from how you're dancing with Changbin in the middle of the living room belonging to someone whose name Hyunjin doesn't remember. You’re on your third, maybe fourth, drink already, but who’s really counting. Except for Hyunjin, of course. Your laugh is louder than usual, it reaches his ears even though he’s standing a couple meters away, hiding in a corner. He’d never admit it, but the only reason he ever comes to these godforsaken parties is because you beg him to. And because, usually, he has to drive you home afterward.

He doesn’t mind it as much as he pretends to, though.

“Hyunjin!”

Your words are slurred as you fall into his arms suddenly, but it’s a miracle you even managed to spot him in that state of yours. He crunches his nose in disgust at the reek of alcohol surrounding you and pushes you away from him so he can grab at your shoulders. The way you pout is cute, he thinks and shakes his head immediately as if that’s going to get rid of his dumb thoughts. His eyes fan down to your outfit – the all-too-low cleavage of your top and the short skirt that hugs your hips. It’s shameful how his pants feel too tight all of a sudden, so he averts his gaze. He’s too late, though, because you already noticed.

“Do I look pretty?” You ask him and swirl around, like what he needs right now is to get a better look at your legs. It takes all in him to keep his eyes on the back of your head until you turn around to face him again.

“You look drunk,” He replies, albeit not very convincingly due to the light shiver in his tone, holding your arm tighter when you almost trip over your own feet.

“I’m not drunk,” You protest, but lean into his touch nonetheless. The way he holds you against his chest when someone tries to pass by leaves your heart pounding at a dangerously fast speed and makes you feel a little lightheaded. That has nothing to do with the fact that you’re drunk, though. But the words you let escape your mouth after that do. “I like it when you hold me like this.”

Due to the alcohol in your system, you don’t really realize what you’ve said, but Hyunjin does. And it feels like his heart is about to beat out of his chest. He hopes you can’t hear it, because god, how embarrassing would that be? Here he is, feeling nervous over something you said while being both drunk and his friend. It’s natural for friends to like hugging each other. Right?

“Aren’t you gonna say anything?” Hyunjin can feel how you lean more of your weight on him, your smiling face a little too close to his own. He can hear your breathing clearly now, and the hand that holds onto his shoulder for support is burning his skin. “You’re lucky you look so cute right now or I would’ve gotten real mad at you.”

His breath hitches, but he doesn’t think you notice. Or maybe you do. He can’t really tell in this poor lighting and with the way your thigh rests between his legs. It’s distracting. You are distracting.

“But, then again,” You lean so close to him that your noses almost touch and he can feel your hot breath on his lips. “You always look cute. When you’re focused and you furrow your brows. When you’re looking at paintings and your eyes light up. Even when you’re scolding me and your jaw is set, I find it cute. Because you’re doing it out of concern for me. You’re always so nice to me. Always so sweet. It’s not all that weird that I fell in love with you, actually.”

That’s when it all slows down. It’s like the world outside is nonexistent. His eyes are wide, and he’s pretty sure his hands are starting to shake. He looks at you – your wide smile, the way your gaze drops to his lips for a second longer than appropriate, and how you’re tilting your head to the side. You’re going to kiss him, he realizes. You’ve just told him you like him and now you’re going to kiss him. He can feel your warm hand rest on his chest and he wants nothing more than to pull you closer, even though he shouldn’t.

What he should do is push you away. Tell you you’re way too drunk and you won’t remember any of this tomorrow. But he doesn’t. Because there's still that part of him that reminds him you haven’t even drunk that much, that you’re completely aware of your actions. It’s still you – your sparkling eyes, soft hair that smells of strawberries, and touch that drives him insane no matter how innocent it is. His best friend. The girl he’s in love with.

When your lips press against his, Hyunjin knows he wouldn’t be able to pull away even if he wanted to.

You taste of whiskey and cherries, the latter presumably from the chapstick you’ve been using for the past couple of years – the one Hyunjin has been dying to know the taste of for a shameful amount of time. It’s even better than he expected. Your hands are in his hair, and his fingers rest against the bare skin of your stomach, spreading goosebumps all over it. Experimentally, he urges you to open your mouth and when you do, he lets his tongue slip inside.

He pulls you closer, and you sigh contentedly into his mouth in response, pulling at his hair. It feels so good – feeling his lips on yours after only having imagined what it would be like to kiss him. And he’s kissing you back, just as fervently. It’s like a dream come true. You slip your hands under his shirt, way too drunk on him to even think about where you are and that you’ve just confessed your love for your best friend. Alcohol is good for something, after all, you suppose.

Feeling your fingers trace his abdominal muscles brings Hyunjin back to reality, and as much as he wants to let you touch him, he remembers you’re at a party. And there’s alcohol in your system. This is wrong. There’s no guarantee you even meant what you said, or if you’ll remember it tomorrow. So, as much as he doesn’t want to, he pushes you away.

“You need to go home, Y/N,” He says upon seeing your confused expression. “You’re drunk.”

For a moment, none of you move. You’re just staring at him with your lips swollen from kissing, pupils wide, and Hyunjin thinks you must be the most beautiful person alive. But there’s a hint of pain hidden in your eyes when he meets them and it sparks up guilt in his stomach. He wants to hug you, but he doesn’t. You’re drunk and overreacting. Tomorrow, if you even remember anything at all, you’ll be thankful he saved your friendship from going under. Because there’s no way you’re actually in love with him, after all.

“Come on, let’s get you home, alright?” He wants to grab your hand, but you pull away.

There’s no reason for you to be this upset. He’s drunk, you’re drunk, it happens. And so it’s only natural he wants to pretend nothing happened. You’re best friends, after all. But it still hurts and the alcohol still flowing through your veins only urges you to speak your mind.

“If you didn’t want to kiss me, you could’ve just said so.”

And before you can think twice, you leave him standing there and ask Minho to drive you home. He doesn’t ask any questions and you’re thankful for that.

Right now, it doesn’t feel like you have any answers.

—

You’ve never avoided Hyunjin before.

Not when you were mad at him for listening in on a fight you had with your mom, and not after he caught you making out with his best friend in high school. Sure, both you and him got mad sometimes, but you’d always talk it out. Or, as it would be more accurate to say, he would talk, and slowly, but surely, you’d come to realize there was no reason to be mad. And everything would be back to normal.

But the thing is – this time you’re not mad. Just embarrassed. And scared. Really fucking scared. And since Hyunjin is the source of those intrusive emotions, your smart brain came up with the idea of avoiding him until you magically fall out of love with him and will be able to tell him that the kiss was a mistake you regret making.

It’s a horrible plan, really. But it’s all you’ve got.

And it works just fine for, like, thirteen hours. Out of which you slept ten.

In the morning, Hyunjin calls you, but you ignore it. He doesn’t call again, probably coming to the conclusion that you’re still asleep. Then, you skip class to avoid him. Stupid move, because that just makes him send you even more messages, asking you if everything’s alright. And the worst part is, you want to respond to them. You really do. This is Hyunjin, after all. Your best friend. You’re missing him already. Why did you have to be so stupid and kiss him? You could’ve just let him live in ignorant bliss and saved your friendship, but instead, you chose this. You really are stupid.

All in all, dodging his calls and skipping class is manageable, but you can’t really keep avoiding him when he quite literally grabs your hand as you’re on the way to the bathroom, pulling you into some empty classroom.

“What are you–” You begin to say, but he cuts you off.

“You’re avoiding me,” It’s not a question. His gaze is hard and you look down – partially because you’re ashamed, but mostly because you’re afraid that if you look at his handsome face you’re just going to start crying, reminded of how he pushed you away yesterday. “Why?”

That is a question, but it’s so dumb it makes you scoff. Does he really not know why you’re avoiding him or is he just playing dumb? It seems pretty simple to you – you told him you like him, he rejected you, and now avoiding him is easier than facing the truth. But he doesn’t appear to understand that, eyebrows raised as he eyes you cautiously.

“Why?” He asks again, and so you cave.

“Because,” You lock eyes with him and feel all those emotions you felt at the party all over again. “I told you I liked you yesterday. So now I’m embarrassed to even look at you.”

Silence falls over the room after you say that, your fingers fiddling with the hem of your shirt as you wait for him to say something. Anything.

“You were drunk,” He sighs after a while. “I didn’t take it seriously. You don’t need to be embarrassed, so let’s just forget it ever happened if that’s what you want.”

One second passes. Then two. He thinks you weren’t serious. That’s amazing news – it means you can just lie about it and never talk about it with him ever again – so why don’t you feel relieved? If anything, it makes you feel even more miserable. Because maybe – just maybe – you’d hoped he’d say he’s in love with you too. Or at least that he’d take you seriously, because, fuck, this is serious. And honestly, lying about it for another seven years seems worse than telling him right now and getting it over with.

“I meant it,” The words fall off your tongue suddenly – an outburst of feelings you hadn’t originally intended to share. “What I said yesterday. I wasn’t even that drunk, that was just an excuse.”

You suck in a breath. One. Two. Three. It’s fine; you’re fine. Just say it. You can’t exactly back off now, either way. Hyunjin’s expression is unreadable, but that might just be your heart banging in your ears so hard you can’t focus on anything else. Okay. You can do this.

“I’m in love with you, Hyunjin. I’ve been in love with you since I can remember. It was bound to slip out sooner or later, I guess. This just kinda makes me wish it happened later.”

There. You said it.

Hyunjin’s face remains unchanged, only a small spark in his eyes indicating he heard you. A few strands of his hair fall into his forehead, but he doesn’t push them away. It’s like he wants you to step forward and do it yourself. You don’t have the courage to do that, though. Instead, you just stand there and look at him until he decides to say something.

“Why?”

His voice is soft and welcoming, so you reply right away.

“Because you don’t feel the same way about me. And I’m scared nothing’s gonna be the same between us after this.”

He looks at you and it feels like he’s staring right into your soul. Though you suppose he wouldn’t need any special powers to do that, since you basically exposed all of yourself to him right now. He’s only silent for three or four seconds, but it feels like years as you’re standing there. You’re in the chemistry classroom, you realize, so if you were to run away now you could just say you were afraid a professor would catch you. You never get that far, though, because, at that moment, Hyunjin decides to finally speak.

“You always do that, you know,” You furrow your brows, but he only smiles shyly. In surprise, you notice how his cheeks are tinted light pink. He’s blushing. You haven’t seen him blush since, like, sixth grade, when your mom called him handsome. “Jump to conclusions. I pushed you away yesterday because I didn’t want you to do anything you would regret later. Like drunkenly kiss your best friend that is hopelessly in love with you and give him false hope.”

It takes a minute for his words to sink in, but when they do, it feels surreal. Is he saying what you think he’s saying? He must notice your confused expression, because he walks closer and leans his face down so it’s parallel to yours.

“I’m in love with you, too, stupid,” His nose touches yours and you shiver. “Did you really think I would’ve gone to that food truck if it weren’t for you?”

You giggle as if trying to hide the way your heart is doing loops inside of your chest. “The hamburgers really weren’t that good.”

“I knew you were lying.” He smiles, tilting his head to the side. You can feel his breath on your face, his eyes sparkling in the poor lighting of the lamp above your head. When his hands settle on your waist, you feel like you’re about to float into the air. “Can I kiss you?”

There’s no hesitation when you nod and that’s all the convincing Hyunjin needs. He leans forward to close the space that is dividing you from him and presses his lips to yours softly – carefully, as if not to hurt you. His tongue swipes across your lower lip and you hold onto his shoulders like you’re afraid your knees will give out. The kiss, his hand settling on your cheek to caress the skin, the softness of his lips – it's perfect. All of it.

Until suddenly, the door flies open and you jump away from him like you just burned yourself.

“What are you guys doing here?”

Hyunjin’s fingers leave your waist, and it makes you look toward the person that interrupted your moment. You start fixing your clothing awkwardly as you lock eyes with Changbin, whose gaze flicks from you to Hyunjin and back again, before the realization hits him and he audibly gasps, covering his mouth with the palm of his hand.

“Oh my god,” His dramatic tone makes you roll your eyes, but really, you can feel your whole body heating up. “You’re hooking up and you didn’t tell me?”

“We’re not ‘hooking up’,” You’re not looking at Hyunjin but you just know he’s scrunching his nose up in distaste. “We’re… figuring things out.”

“Well, maybe you should figure them out somewhere else, because I have class here in three minutes.”

Changbin sounds amused, and you can see from the corner of your eye how Hyunjin glares at him before taking your hand in his and leaving the classroom. You’ve almost arrived at the dorms by the time it hits you that he’s actually holding your hand. Hwang Hyunjin is holding your hand. And not just loosely, like he’s done since you met him when dragging you off somewhere – no, this time, he’s deliberate about it, interlacing his fingers with yours and walking right next to you.

The warmth you feel settle in your chest isn’t just because of the temperature change that occurs as you walk into his dorm, that’s for sure.

“Minho’s not here?” You ask, looking around. You’ve been here plenty of times as Hyunjin’s friend, but this feels different somehow. It doesn’t exactly help your nervousness that the dorm is empty, except for you and him.

“Went out with his girlfriend, I think,” Hyunjin lets go of your hand to pull his sweater over his head, probably noticing the change in temperature like you. Maybe it’s stupid, but you can’t help the way your eyes linger a little too long on the stripe of skin that is exposed when he unintentionally drags his shirt up with the sweater, your brain going into overdrive when you see how his muscles flex as he drags it down to cover his stomach again. Unfortunately, it seems that this doesn’t go unnoticed by Hyunjin. “Are you uncomfortable or something? Because if you need time to think this over or something, I’m okay with that.”

“What?” You look up to meet his gaze, feeling your face heat up. “No, I don’t, I was just… Thinking about how I like your kitchen.”

You’re fucking stupid. You could’ve said anything – literally anything – but you chose this? And just like you fear, Hyunjin notices your embarrassment, and you can clearly tell from the look he’s giving you that he’s got you all figured out already. That’s one of the disadvantages of falling in love with your best friend, you suppose.

“You’ve seen my kitchen, like, a thousand times,” He points out and you send him a glare when he purposefully leans on the counter so his muscles are even more visible. “I don’t think you’ve seen my bedroom, though.”

Your heart jumps up to your throat as his eyes scan your body, lip pulled between his teeth. It’s not like him to be so straightforward, and you can see how his cheeks are turning pink from what he just said. Cute. That makes you feel a little less nervous, though your heart still pounds against your chest when you walk closer to him, grabbing hold of his shirt to press your lips to his.

His touch is warm when he wraps his arms around you, his mouth moving against yours slowly. He’s taking his time, a sigh escaping past his lips as he parts them, letting your tongues interlace. You’re the one to start walking towards his bedroom, fingers pulling at his hair and he helps you open the door. His hand feels warm on your waist when he pulls away from the kiss to rest his lips against your cheek and sit down on his bed, pulling you along.

Situating yourself in his lap, you connect your lips to his again, but he doesn’t let you ravish in his taste for too long before he starts pressing kisses against your jaw. It’s not like you mind, but you grind your hips against him in revenge nonetheless, noticing how his grip on your waist tightens and he sucks down on the skin on your neck, making you moan out softly. One of his hands works to unzip your jacket and push it off your shoulders, the other slipping under your shirt and sending shivers down your spine.

“We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to, you know,” His fingers trace your skin slowly and the sound of his voice when he rests his mouth against your shoulder – all raspy and quiet – is enough to have your underwear soaking through faster. If he thinks you want to stop now, he’s insane.

“I want to,” He looks up at you with hooded eyes, smiling when he lifts your shirt over your head. Then, his hands come up to slide your jeans off and you help him by lifting your legs a little, now sitting down on his bulge with only your panties and his sweats dividing you from feeling all of him. He drags your hips along his experimentally and you whimper quietly, feeling how you’re soaking through your panties and probably onto the fabric of his pants. “I want you, please.”

His eyes grow a little wider at your words and you help him unclasp your bra, letting it fall to the ground. You whine when his fingers find their way between your legs, rubbing against the fabric of your panties softly. Wriggling in his lap to create friction, you hold onto his shoulders and he gives in quickly, pushing your panties to the side so he can press his palm against your clit and rub it, eliciting a moan from you.

“You’re so wet,” He mumbles against your shoulder, pressing kisses to it as he starts dragging his fingers through your folds, all while the palm of his hand keeps rubbing against your clit. “And so pretty.”

Your fingers work to get rid of his shirt, and he helps you by lifting your hands. This makes you whine at the loss of contact between his fingers and your pussy, but he only smiles as he brings it back between your legs, rubbing against your heat agonizingly slowly. You buck your hips into his hand to feel more, but that only causes him to retract it, looking at you disapprovingly.

“You’re so annoying,” You groan at him, feeling your pussy throb, hungry for his touch. “Can’t you just-”

But you don’t get to finish that sentence as he pushes two of his fingers inside of you, making you gasp loudly and hold onto him tighter. He starts pumping them in and out of you, stretching you out so well and making you squirm in his grip, your breath uneven. You’d expected him to start off slowly, but he doesn’t – he buries himself knuckles deep inside of you and his thumb rubs your clit in a steady rhythm. The kisses he litters all over your collarbones are soft – a contrast to the way he’s fucking you with his fingers that – as you notice upon looking down between your bodies – are glistening with your arousal.

“Feels good, baby?” He asks, and you clench around his fingers in response, burying your head in the crook of his neck.

He starts pushing his fingers in and out of you faster, hitting that spot that makes your toes curl and makes you moan his name. It’s getting hard to keep yourself up now as you’re approaching your orgasm, Hyunjin’s hand grabbing at your tits while the other makes you clench around him repeatedly. Your thighs are starting to shake, that familiar feeling of pleasure stirring up in your stomach. The feeling of his hard cock poking into your thigh doesn’t help at all, only serving for your moans to grow louder when he rubs your clit faster, more precisely.

The sound of your pussy squelching with arousal as he drives them into you fills the room along with the moans you let out into his ear, and you feel his cock growing harder from underneath his sweats. Even though it’s difficult to gather your thoughts enough to think of anything else other than how good he’s making you feel, you manage to bring your hand to palm him through his sweats, which earns you an even quicker pace of his fingers that’s making you see stars.

“Fuck, do that again,” He moans and you comply, grabbing his dick through his sweats and making his hips buck into your hand. You whimper at that, tightening around his fingers, nails digging into his biceps. “Want to fuck that pretty pussy of yours so bad. You want me to, don’t you?”

You nod frantically, pushing your hips further down on his fingers and moaning his name with each movement. You’re so close now, clenching around him like crazy, pretty much bouncing on his fingers to feel him deeper. He brings you to the edge quickly, continuing to rub your clit as you cum, soaking his fingers with your slick and moaning in a way that would’ve made you feel embarrassed if it weren’t for how lost in the pleasure you are.

“Oh my god,” You breathe out when he retracts his fingers, licking them clean of your juices.

He looks up at you worriedly. “Are you oka-”

You cut him off by kissing him, opening your mouth, and swallowing his moans when you palm him through his sweats again. He slips his tongue inside your mouth, and groans when he gets a taste of your cherry chapstick – he wants to bottle up that sensation and replay it every night. Your hands move to slide his pants down, and you grind down on his dick, now only divided from you with his thin boxers.

“I want you, please, Hyunjin,” You’re way past getting embarrassed, begging him without even batting an eyelash. “Want your cock.”

His worried gaze turns lewd, and he helps you pull his boxers down, letting his cock spring free. The sight is mouthwatering, and you know he notices you staring from the way his lips quirk upward in a soft smile, reminding you exactly why you’re in love with this man. He pulls you into his lap again, so close that your tits are pressed against his chest and his cock rests against your clit. You whine when he drags it through your folds, soaking it in your juices but not really creating any friction.

“You’re so impatient,” He coos, positioning himself at your entrance and pushing just the tip in, causing you to clench around nothing. “You want my cock, princess? Want me to fuck you stupid?”

“Mhmm, please.”

Hyunjin smiles, grip tightening on your hips as he pushes you down on his cock, a moan leaving your mouth when he enters you fully. It’s painful only for a few seconds – then, feel the throb in your pussy grow again and so you start moving up and down slowly, moaning softly each time you sink down on his cock. He’s biting his lip, watching your movements, and letting his hands come up to play with your tits.

You push your chest out into his hands, bouncing up and down on his cock and feeling your walls suck him in tightly like you don’t want him to ever pull out. And you don’t. It feels so good to have him inside of you – you can feel every bit of his dick clearly and he looks really hot, with his eyes half-closed and a sheepish smile on his features, tongue darting out to wet his lips.

“You look so pretty fucking yourself on my cock,” How he manages to look so angelic while saying that, brushing your hair away from your face, and at the same time making you clench around him frantically, you don’t know. “Wish I’d fucked you sooner, princess.”

His words make you whimper, and you feel your thighs burn from the way you’re bouncing on his cock already. You hold onto him, but it doesn’t stop your legs from shaking and you whine, annoyed.

Hyunjin’s hands move to your hips when he sees you struggling, and you whimper a little when he lifts them with ease before pushing you down on his cock again. It’s a whole different sensation when he does it. He’s fucking you much harder now, driving into you from a deeper angle that makes you see stars, legs giving out completely, and letting him do all the work. Hyunjin doesn’t seem to mind that, though, small groans leaving his lips as he helps you ride him.

“You’re so fucking pretty, baby,” He whispers and presses a kiss to your jaw, not slowing down in the slightest. “My pretty girl.”

You’re feeling a little dizzy from both the praise and the way he’s hitting all the right spots, fingers probably leaving marks on your skin from how he’s holding onto you, ravishing in the way you whimper his name with each roll of his hips. You can feel the knot in your stomach tighten yet again, and there’s no way you’re going to last much longer with the way he’s splitting you open on his cock.

“Fuck, Hyunjin, I-” The words die down in your throat as he keeps rutting into you, your eyes rolling to the back of your head when his dick hits the spot that makes you curl your toes in pleasure repeatedly. “I’m gonna cum.”

“Me too.”

He groans and captures your lips in a kiss as his cock twitches inside of you, the feeling pushing you over the edge and making you clench and unclench around him repeatedly when you cum. He follows not long after, shooting his cum into you and moaning softly at the sensation of your walls sucking him in. You whine when he pulls out, but the sound is soon replaced by a hum of appreciation when he lies down on the bed and pulls you down so your head lies on his chest and he can wrap his arms around you.

“I love you so much,” He says, burying his face in your hair.

You smile. “I love you, too.”

And as you’re left regaining your breath in each other’s arms, Hyunjin still feels the faint taste of your cherry chapstick on his tongue. He wouldn’t have it any other way.

–

You never thought facing your friends after everything that happened would be easy, but it’s safe to say you weren’t expecting to hear party horns go off the moment you entered the cafe at which you decided to meet.

“Congrats on bagging your best friend, Y/N!”

“Are you out of your mind? Be quiet,” You really want to kick Changbin as he shouts that as loud as he can, but you settle on sending an apologetic smile to the people sitting by tables around you and glaring at him instead. Looking to your left, you meet Hyunjin’s gaze, but he doesn’t seem as if he’s about to run away, so you decide that Changbin hasn’t lost his title as your friend just yet. You’re really thankful for the way Hyunjin squeezes your hand reassuringly, winking in your direction – even if it doesn’t exactly help calm your heart down.

“If I were you, I wouldn’t care that much,” Minho comments as the two of you get seated. “Changbin’s pretty much spilled it to everyone, anyway.”

“What?”

“Not everyone,” Changbin protests immediately. “Just a few trusted individuals.”

“A few hundred, you mean,” Minho snickers. “Either way-”

“Stop lying, I literally only told those girls from NCTU-”

“Either way, we just want to say we’re happy for you. Even if this means I’ll have to witness you kiss,” Minho shudders playfully and you can’t help but smile. “You look happy together, and that’s enough for me.”

“Just please don’t break up before spring break,” Changbin adds. “It will make the camping trip so awkward.”

You smile at them, feeling as if a big weight has been lifted off of your shoulders. They’re happy for you. You feel Hyunjin squeeze your hand, and you whip your head around to look into his eyes that sparkle with adoration.

“Don’t worry, I don’t have any plans of letting Y/N get rid of me that easily.”

Butterflies swarm in your stomach, just like they always do when he says something this cheesy and sweet at the same time. You suppose you’ll feel this way for another seven years. And then seven years more. You smile, and he smiles too. He leans down to press a kiss to your lips and you can’t help the way you feel like the happiest girl in the world when your lips move together.

“You guys are so gross.”

Hyunjin laughs as he pulls away, and so do you. Moments like these make it worth waiting seven years to have him.

#hyunjin smut #hwang hyunjin smut #stray kids smut #stray kids headcanons #hyunjin x reader #skz smut

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14thcommander · 1 year

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cosmic love || hange zoe x reader

cw: afab!reader (hange calls you princess though), nb!hange, domestic vibes, established relationship, dirty talk, shameless hange, oral sex, implied squirting, sub/dom undertones, top!hange, bottom!reader

“What are you thinking about?”

Hange’s voice is sweet, despite the intrusion. Careless, despite their nurturing intentions.

You were mindlessly scrolling through social media – being met with posts about a former classmate traveling abroad, your cousin getting engaged, and an ad for make-up you probably don’t need, but desperately want to purchase.

Hange is laying next to you, under the same soft covers as you. They’re wearing pajamas, and a pair of mismatched socks – it’s for luck, you wouldn’t get it, they'd say – and their thick glasses are already discarded for the night.

You chuckle at their words, still.

“Nothing in particular” You answer, still scrolling, however now you place a gentle palm to Hange’s hair, fingers gently caressing their scalp. “What about you, love?”

The question seems to spark a fire in your partner’s eyes, as if they had been waiting for you to ask that for the past 17 minutes you’ve been laying in your shared bed. They swiftly crawl over your side of the mattress, gently placing a hand on your wrist – at this point, your phone is long forgotten, however they still removed it out of your hand. Just in case.

“Glad you asked, princess” Their voice sounds bright, like a shot of espresso down your throat. Hange’s touch is comfortable and inviting, the source of warmth on a cold night. Your body naturally responds to them – they straddle your lap, and you place curious hands on their hips. “Was thinking about eating your pretty pussy out before we go to sleep. Would you be interested?”

Despite the slightly playful tone in your lover’s voice, they’re being completely serious. They smile down at you – too sweet to be evil, but too wolfish to be kind. Your legs move against each other, attempting to soothe the familiar ache caused by Hange’s nasty words.

“Hange!” You exclaim,

“Baby! I’m being serious, really want to play with your pretty cunt right now.”

Your breath hitches on your throat. This feeling is almost dizzying, how easily Hange has an effect on you. After a beat of silence, you nod silently.

“C’mon, you know I need to hear you say it.”

Again, you feel blood rushing through your body, filled with desire and excitement.

“Yes, please. Please, I really want that”

They chuckle. Your voice sounds almost whiney, and absolutely eager.

“Your wish is my command.”

Your lover kisses you, hungrily and sweetly. Hange places their elbows on each side of your head, balancing their weight on top of you. They place a leg in between yours, and you smile in between the kisses. At this point, you should be used to this, to the way they play with you. It’s so easy, they once said. You always get worked up so fast.

Hange is used to your body by now, and how it reacts to their touch – they know you like neck kisses, and that if they caress the back of your head in just the right way, you’ll melt faster. They know you like when they bite your lip, but not strong enough to hurt you. Your partner knows that you like to hear them talk you through it, and their dirty words are the main reason you get turned on in the first place – how carelessly they say it, how effortlessly attractive they are.

Of course, they reaped the sweet fruit of your submission after exploring your body with curiosity and selflessness.

“Open your legs for me?” Their voice is gentle, but raspier this time. They phrase it like a question, but it feels like an order.

Hange removes your nightgown, leaving you bare against before them. Your nipples perk up due to the chill air, and you can feel yourself getting wetter by the moment. Obeying them, you open your legs, showcasing your glossy pussy to Hange – a smile blooms on their lips, nothing short of pride.

“Beautiful” They mumble, as they place open mouthed kisses down your body. Your skin smells like your favorite scented lotion, that you applied shortly after getting out of the shower. You feel warm, inviting. “You’re so fucking beautiful, did you know that?”

You smile, as heat blossoms on your cheeks.

“Yeah? My pretty thing.”

Hange reaches between your legs, kissing your inner thighs. You moan, hips bucking up eagerly. Your lover chuckles, and you whine. What a sweet balance, they think.

After a few more moments of teasing and riling you up, Hange finally gets to your clit. They start slowly, you’ll give them that – attempting to keep it cool, lapping gently at your needy bundle of pleasure.

Their tongue is flat against your clit, often moving around it, in circle shapes. A whistle hot feeling bubbles on your lower abdomen, as you moan softly. You place your trembling hands on their head, gently gripping on their dark locks. The thing is, you know Hange’s body too – how they get turned on by your reactions, and how they adore your praise.

“So good,” You whisper, as they suck particularly hard on your clit, before going back to lapping at it. “It feels so good, Hange.”

They blush, as they start to lick you more eagerly, getting intoxicated by your taste. Your lover’s hands grip on your thighs, fingers digging in your sweet flesh.

Your partner’s moves are getting hungrier, a bit messier too. You’re drenched, and desperate, hips grinding against their face. They look like they’re enjoying this, taking as much pleasure as you.

Their movements are precise and experienced, yet not robotic and automatic — their touch is dripping with love, devotion and adoration. It’s so beautiful and intriguing, almost as if your bodies will melt with each other, as you become one.

Hange likes you like this, completely at their will. They can tell you’re moving towards your orgasm, and they could ruin it – they could do it, but won’t. Tonight doesn’t feel like the type of night to play with you like that. No, they want to bring you towards the edge and push you off of it, how many times it takes to get you properly fucked out.

“I’m close, baby. So close, please don’t stop” You whine, and Hange moans against your needy pussy. “Please, oh my god, it feels so good”

They place a warm palm on your hip, gently caressing it, as if to say: don’t worry, I got you.

Your lover adores eating your pussy, it’s their favorite thing to do — however they do have to recognize its one downside: they can’t spill filthy words, whispered against the shell of your ear, as they swallow your last cries with a hungry kiss.

This time, they grip your thighs a little bit harder, fingers digging on the delicious flesh beneath them, as if to give you permission to come. The white hot feeling bubbling on your lower abdomen finally explodes, causing your body to convulse in pleasure.

As your limbs relax and your heartbeat eases, you come down from your high – although it doesn’t mean Hange wants to stop. They give you a moment, lightly pressing kisses on your inner thighs, and whispering sweet nothings against your soft skin.

“You were really good for me.” They whisper, smiling softly at you. “Think you can give me one more?”

#hange x reader #hange x y/n #hange smut #hange x you #hange zoe smut #aot smut #aot fanfic

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punkpandapatrixk · 1 year

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☕️Soul Story with Your Divine Counterpart ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

A long, long, long time ago, in the harmonic realms of Pure Bliss, there was nothing but Dharma. Bored as whoa from a lack of strife, our Souls began to yearn for Drama. In the theatre of the Universe, Game Masters joined forces to create the most hyper-realistic Game of Polarity—of opposites and contrasts. We were told, we would understand Unity better if we could master Duality.

Divine Pairs were invited for the launch of the Game as the unbreakable bond between them was deemed the most powerful, enough to withstand the chaotic nature of Duality and Polarity. In time, we all jumped into the Game expecting all kinds of immersive experiences of playing knaves and heroes, destroyers and builders, enemies and lovers, et cetera, et cetera.

In the beginning, we played amongst many of our own Kind but eventually met those from other harmonics who had later been invited to the Game, too. In a world of illusions… we were dreaming all kinds of events and adventures with our cosmic avatars, and in time, all kinds of storylines intertwined to weave an even bigger cosmic narrative.

We all played for so long we were beginning to forget our true form. Many of us could no longer recognise each other’s Divine Counterparts. A multitude of shape-shifting had caused a distortion in reconnecting to our Original Memory. The game world had now become a second Reality.

🎧Alone Again, Wonderful World by Plastic Tree

🎧I Love You by Off Course

[PAC Masterlist] [Part 1] [Part 3]

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☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

There is a super special behind-the-story for this PAC on Patreon. If you’re already subscribed, don’t forget to check the full post ^o^v

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Finally, Happily Ever After with You♥︎

MOVIE: Howl’s Moving Castle (2004)

your Home World – Page of Swords

I have a feeling your Home World (at least one of them that is significant in your current stage of soul evolution) was a relatively new world. You’ve come from a civilisation that prized intellectual pursuits more than anything. Your Kind loved to study; you enjoyed improving your environment and society. Researching plants—understanding them and making chemicals and potions with them—was a pastime of your people. You were working to understand your Planet.

Your Home World had many large, expansive libraries of all the things your people had come to learn. Many people loved to visit the library and read and just have fun studying. You were such big-brained folks. There was no school like we know on Earth. There were academies and laboratories for children to partake in research and new inventions. The weather on your Home World was always pleasantly sunny and you could see buildings that are similar to hot houses on Earth. There were gardens and open fields, of course. Vegs and herbs were your main interest and food was aplenty.

People had roles in society but nobody had any semblance of a concept of what we call ‘jobs’ on Earth. People didn’t work for money. People lived with the joy of knowing that they were alive and that the Planet had provided for them. Your people loved the Planet so much—you appreciated and cherished this new world you were beginning to understand. But… this also meant you didn’t have any concept of conflict, power struggle, and war… You didn’t have a military—never crossed your mind the necessity for such a thing.

And so, when warmongering space invaders attacked your Home World you couldn’t protect yourself.

a promise before birth – 4 of Swords Rx

From the moment the space invaders arrived, it was clear that there was no way your civilisation could stand a chance against the enemy’s warships. The imbalance of military power was too overbearing. You didn’t even have an army, not even a fighter. All you could do was try your best to evacuate your people and escape the Planet. Homes and gardens were destroyed and families were torn apart. Friends and lovers calling out names of lost loved ones. Sisters and mothers shielding children and escaping. Brothers and fathers staying behind to buy time.

This horror was etched in your Soul Memory for a long time. Your heartbreak became a default setting when you chose to be born on Earth. As if, you’d forgotten how it feels like to have peace. But you craved it from the deepest unseen well of your subconscious, and at one point in your soul evolution, you prayed to Infinite Intelligence. You prayed that you could be saved from the looping horror of being trapped in the same scenario of sorrows. You had come to resent the Game.

‘Please, salvage my heart from betrayals, isolation and loneliness.’ Infinite Intelligence heard your plea and whispered: ‘If you could remember your Divine Counterpart, they will remember you, too, and you will be calling out for one another. If you could remember your true form, you will remember what your Divine Counterpart feels (looks) like. And all will be fine in all of the worlds again when you meet.’ And you fell back into slumber to find yourself awake on Earth.

finding each other – 5 of Swords Rx

Earth is a world that is just as war-torn as your Home World, if not a lot worse out here. Being born into a world so reminiscent of all your traumas, navigating Life here has not been easy. As if Infinite Intelligence had played a cruel joke on you. But the truth is, Earth is the perfect place for you right now because by being here you resolve your traumas a lot faster than if you had been born somewhere comparatively better. You are in the midst of recovering from bad dreams of lives lost in wars.

Did it cross your mind that your Divine Counterpart has also been doing the same? You’re not alone. You’re working really hard to purify yourself from all of these bad dreams, bad memories, all so you wouldn’t mistakenly destroy each other when you meet. Infinite Intelligence had arranged for you to face your traumas head on so you wouldn’t have to show your ugly healing to each other. That scenario isn’t for you. Isn’t it so graceful?

Although it’s hard to face your challenges feeling like you’re all alone in the wild wide world, trust me, it’s better to have those quarrels and separations with people who mean little. I can hear a soft voice from the aether saying: ‘You’re… the only reason I’m still breathing… We will meet. When I’m good, I can make everything in your world good!’ So confident. So loving, indeed.

TURNING THE PAGES🔻💜

story behind your Union – Gold Physician (Hippocrates)

the rest of your days – Priestess of Ambition

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Pile 2 – True Calm That Comes Only After the Storms

MOVIE: Grave of the Fireflies & My Neighbor Totoro (both 1988)

your Home World – 8 of Cups

Quite similar to Pile 1, you still carry deep sadness and heavy regrets in your heart that are, truthfully, only remnants of memories from your Home World. Your Home World was quite advanced technologically. Your civilisation depended on the Masculine energy—Yang energy. Societies were run on varying degrees of strictness but the modus operandi was clear: the masculine form and structural ways of running things were favoured.

Obviously, not everybody was happy about that though for a long time, peace was maintained. However, influences from visitors and ambassadors from other civilisations (by comparison they were freer; more fluid) eventually seeped into the consciousness of the main populace, and in time, underground rebellion groups were formed. These alliances were made amongst multiple races of beings that felt they weren’t accepted (or respected enough) by the main races.

Friction began to tear apart the establishment and government officials tried their utmost to crack down dissents. Many went to prison or got killed in the numerous conflicts that were becoming a plague in your Home World. In a last attempt to preserve the codes of freedom, many elders told their young warriors to flee and find refuge in other Worlds that were, hopefully, more balanced in their operation of Yin and Yang.

a promise before birth – 3 of Cups

You left your Home World carrying a promise to come back and make everything better after you’ve learnt enough about the ways of other Worlds. Tears were inevitable but the determination in your heart was solid. You were a new legion of Ambassadors from your own Home World. You didn’t really want to think of yourselves as refugees, after all, many of your Soul Family members were still living alright in your Home World though things were just… a little too unpleasantly unjust.

When you departed your Home World, you created a mirror image of yourself to accompany you across the Multiverse—a divinely ordained Counterpart. This was possible by the grace of the Infinite Intelligence, of course. In the beginning, you went to the same places and learnt similar things. Over time, your understanding of each other’s capabilities became clearer and, with confidence, you decided you would travel separately from now on.

You had this unbreakable bond and an immense capacity for telepathy, so you weren’t the slightest bit worried about losing contact with your Counterpart. You believed that it would be just as easy to call upon each other and reunite as you deemed fit. Alas, your travels brought you to Earth, finally, and things over here were just… slightly over-the-top chaotic for even you to handle. The level of evil on this new World was… NEXT LEVEL.

finding each other – 7 of Pentacles Rx

Crash landing on Earth! Coming here felt like a major accident. Your whole world upside down. The reason being something related to betrayal trauma. To find a World that’s even more polarised than your own; to see a World that operates on the highest level of toxic masculinity; to be in a World this corrupted by its own leaders; needless to say the whole being born thing was traumatising.

The shocks of being born on Earth made it difficult to reconnect with the essence of who you are on a Soul level. Thus you forgot how to contact your Divine Counterpart. You’ve felt like you have so little guidance living Life on Earth. But deep in your psyche, you’ve always known you’re here for something greater than the mundane. You know you don’t belong to this Earth. You’re here on a mission. You want to build something with someone… Someone dear, but you can’t remember.

Can you believe that you and your Divine Counterpart are meant to inspire the dissolution of anger? Yes, this World so deep in the clutches of aggression. You are special Souls who have been ordained to meet on Earth when the time is right to help inspire peace—after all, it is what you seek and Infinite Intelligence is arranging every couple’s rendezvous in the most magnificently mysterious ways. I think your finding each other is just gonna happen naturally by virtue of matching vibrations. So~ Keep focusing on your Life’s mission and just like that~ BOOM! There they are.

TURNING THE PAGES🔻💚

story behind your Union – Green Historian (Herodotus)

the rest of your days – Priestess of Inspiration

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Pile 3 – ‘Kiss You Better; I’m Your Only Other’

MOVIE: Princess Mononoke (1997)

your Home World – 6 of Wands

The Home World that’s currently significant in your soul evolution was a world of glory and magnificence. Your Home World looked nothing like what we know of abundance and celebration on Earth; it was such a rich and happy World. It emanated so much pink, gold, blue, turquoise and soft violet. Back in your Home World, people didn’t even look… humanoid, per se. Your Home World was… fluid. It was a different type of consciousness. Life itself was fluid. Existence was simply flowing with the sweet symphony of the Cosmos.

Your Home World operated on the basis of Love. People were very kind and jolly most of the time. Your people didn’t really understand this whole concept of non-Love. Suffering and terror… what the heck are those? Manipulation and lies… for what? Taking advantage of someone else, murder and theft… but… why? All of those concepts were so foreign yet so fascinating to your people.

When you heard that Earth needed some high-vibe volunteers to ‘raise her vibrations’, actually, not that many people from your Home World were interested LMAO The risks of being separated and forgetting Love sounded not worth a good dime. Your World was so peaceful, loving and fulfilling. But the call from Earth felt a little too urgent! So… Some curious and courageous Souls finally decided to take a test drive. Just a preview. It couldn’t be that bad, you thought.

a promise before birth – King of Wands

With gleeful optimism, you promised people back Home that you would be back with grand stories! Off you and your Soul Mates went to a big academy (on another World) to study and prepare for a reincarnation on Earth. Yup, unlike the other Piles in which they couldn’t help but arrive on Earth, you chose to come here out of genuine curiosity. You were expecting dramatic fun!

You and your Divine Counterpart were giggling with anticipation as you prepared yourselves to dive into the Earth Matrix. You and your Divine Counterpart are powerful Souls; you were confident this Game would be between easy to medium difficulty, although you had been told Earth Game’s level of easy is the equivalent of extra hard anywhere else! Your optimism deafened you to that piece of information🤷🏻‍♀️

You kissed your Divine Counterpart and said, ‘I love you. Let’s find each other quickly in this Game. Let’s have fun and then go back to tell everyone what we’ve seen! It’ll be great!’ Your Divine Counterpart nodded in agreement and waved to all members of your Soul Family and they did the same. With great determination to serve your collective consciousness back Home, you dove into the illusions of Life on Earth🌎

finding each other – 5 of Pentacles

Arriving here, from the moment you were born as a child the world was already chaos. The reality of Earth was too shocking to bear alone. Who would’ve thought the density of Earth would cause you this much pain? Physically, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, everythingally. You thought, ‘Damn, my training at the academy told me nothing, NOTHING, of this!’ Literally you didn’t expect Earth’s negative polarisation would be THIS fucked up.

For you’ve come from a world of nothing but Love, Life on Earth was soul-shattering to say the least. Many moments you’ve thought it impossible to go back to the frequencies of Love and you became dejected as fuck. But you’ve only forgotten that YOU are Love. You carry the memories of all your collective consciousness that supports your coming here. As long as you tap into this Love deep within yourself, so shall you be reconnected to the essence of who you are on a profound Soul level. There, as well, you will feel the heartbeat of your Divine Counterpart.

For you’ve come from Love, it’s as if your Divine Counterpart had left a piece of their Heart in yours so you never feel alone. You are both a complete whole carrying a piece of each other’s essence everywhere you go—a perfect personification of the Yin-Yang symbolism. You are literally inseparable and have never truly been separated. A piece of your Heart in theirs is always reminding them of their ultimate goal in this incarnation: to find each other, weave stories together, and infuse a piece of yourselves into the collective conscious of Mankind as a token of gratitude—for all the experiences.

TURNING THE PAGES🔻💛

story behind your Union – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

the rest of your days – Priestess of Illumination

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