#cql heritage post

[wangxianficrecs]

Rewind 2023 - Proud Author Spotlight

WangxianFicRecs - Rewind 2023

Here are some recommendations from 2023 sent in by our fandom's authors themselves. Make sure to give them much love. PS: Authors, don't be shy! Submit more Proud Author Spotlights!

~*~

I published my first MDZS fic this year.

It's a 60k time travel fix-it fic from the POV of several outsider characters who are all witnesses to Wei Wuxian's change in behaviour and the events following that change.

I tried really hard to stick to canon (novel-only) characterization and I'm really proud of what I wrote so don't hesitate to give it a try (it's complete too!) :D

We'll Build A Dynasty (one the heavens can't shake)

by One_eyed_God (@oneeyedoctogod)

T, 66k, Wangxian

Summary: Wei Wuxian is well-known as a trouble-maker, someone who likes jokes and chaos. He promptly proves this by disappearing without a trace from the Cloud Recesses, in the middle of the Lectures. But when war is on the horizon and tensions boil over, can his actions really be summarized as a simple prank? Or, the unbelievable story of Wei Wuxian, time traveller, told from everyone's point of view but his.

~*~

Hi there! I don’t know if anyone remembers, but I posted my first ever fic on Ao3 this year!

Jailbreaking

by CullenBlue (@cullen-blue23)

T, 21k, NHS & WN

Summary: During the Wen indoctrination, we see everyone escape during the fight with Xuanwu… except Huaisang, who had fainted earlier. So, in short… how TF did he escape?? The story of how Nie Huaisang broke out of Qishan, and the events that happened afterwards

~*~

Mod Kay himself here :D I published a fic this year where novel canon Lan Wangji transmigrates into the CQL-verse and saves post-canon Wei Wuxian, who struggles to keep himself alive during his lonely travels. It goes hard on the It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, but I promise there's a happy ending.

the roots

by thelastdboy (@thelastdboyy)

E, 30k, Wangxian

Summary: In one universe, Wei Wuxian had been left by the side of the road while Lan Wangji had become the Chief Cultivator. He found himself alone again, discarded and heartbroken. He also found himself to be a target again, as people started hunting the Yiling Laozu once more. He was all alone and just so fucking tired that he couldn't even bring himself to fight back. Some part of him yearned to return to the peaceful oblivion that had been death. In another universe, Lan Wangji's world fell apart in a single day. He was forced to bury not only his son, but his husband as well. Sizhui's Wen heritage had been discovered and Wei Wuxian's past had once again inspired animosity. While Sizhui would hopefully find peace at least, Wei Wuxian's soul had been destroyed and Lan Wangji would rather destroy his own soul than never be re-united with Wei Wuxian again. However, his late husband had left him one last gift: a path into a different universe. Or: MDZS!Lan Wangji transmigrates into the CQL-verse just in time to save post-canon CQL!Wei Wuxian. Together, they grieve and eventually, they find a home for themselves.

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for these hard-working authors if you like – or think others might like – these stories.)

[poorlittleyaoyao]

Most of wangxian fics are a retelling of the chengxian canon relationship with lan wangji in jiang cheng' place, with anti jiang family content (sometimes jiang yanli is spared)

BOOOOOORING, and also ?????????? because... the whole point of Novel Wangxian, from what I understand, is that they didn't have a close relationship prior to WWX's resurrection. The combination of societal obligations, misconceptions about each other, fear of open communication, and traumatic events outside their control (ex: THE DEVASTATING CIVIL WAR) prevents them from connecting in their youths as they might have otherwise, so the story is about how they make different choices when they're granted a second chance as more-adult adults. Like. That's the novel. If you's prefer a version of events where they're kindred spirits and mutually close starting in their teen years, that is literally CQL.

But mostly, I say again, BOOOOOORING! In the tags that inspired this Ask, I forgot about post-canon fic, and there's a lot of potential there! How successful are they about staying out of politics, given WWX's proven inability to stay in his lane and the nonzero chance that LWJ gets pulled into additional sect responsibilities if LXC's seclusion persists? With WWX's image redeemed somewhat now that JGY's everyone's new villain, will that mean a demonic cultivation renaissance among rogue cultivators? What role will they have in helping LZS reconnect with his heritage?

So there is plenty of stuff you can do aside from Sexy and/or Bland Times with Wangxian, but the Jiang bashing is just... beyond basic. It cheapens WWX's actions so much. Like, are you saying your boy voluntarily ripped out his golden core for some guy he didn't even like and then didn't say anything about it because he was just that beholden to obligation? Are you saying that protecting the Wen remnants was a super easy task for him, entailing zero emotional hardship on his part because he'd long since discharged his debt to his oh-so-rotten adoptive family? Like, damn, CQL downplays or removes WWX's responsibility in a lot of what he experiences, but at least he's still actively choosing sacrifice and being really messed up about it. Why make him less interesting!

[llycaons]

mdzs/cql have had some excellent and iconic posts but imo tgcf readers have the insane posters spirit. nothing compares to tgcf heritage posts

[untamedheritageposts]

Welcome to Untamed Heritage Posts!

There are a handful of posts that every time I see them go by my dash, I think "that needs to be memorialized as an Untamed Heritage Post," but there was no untamed heritage post blog (that I could find). So I made one!

Right now I'm setting up the queue to post two posts a day, at 8am and 8pm EST. Once I've got a couple of weeks' worth of posts in the queue, I'll probably start mixing in re-reblogs at other times in case you missed them the first time.

Current Queue Length: About 10 days

Right now, I'm just going through my own untamed tag in chronological order to find particularly memorable old posts. Eventually that will run dry, so please nominate posts via ask! What gets posted is up to my discretion, but here are a few guidelines:

Posts should be about The Untamed, MDZS, or the actors in some way that is directly related to the show (behind the scenes, publicity tour, etc).

All types of posts are acceptable - humor, meta, art, etc.

Posts should be at least two years old - newer posts may be considered if they have a truly absurd number of notes. Even older posts are more likely to be included if they have at least 2k notes. If you want to nominate an older post with fewer notes, tell me why you think it's a Heritage Post.

In the end, it's mostly down to how memorable the post is. Which I know is subjective, sorry. If you're unsure, feel free to sell me on why this is a Heritage Post.

Posts that are just gifsets of the show are unlikely to be included, unless they add something new and interesting (meta analysis, funny captions, etc) that makes them memorable.

Art should be very distinctive (again, memorable) - just "oh that's a very pretty painting of LWJ" is unlikely to be included even if it has 6k notes, sorry.

You can nominate just an OP or a reblog chain if the OP is CQL-related - make sure you give me the URL of the version you think should be immortalized.

Posts that are just adding an Untamed reference to an unrelated post (such as WWX with a speech bubble so he's saying the thing above him) are unlikely to be included unless they do something really interesting with it, are really funny, and/or I've seen them enough to know that that specific version of that post is, in fact, popular within the fandom.

I probably won't reply to every ask, especially if I'm not including the post. Sorry. I'll try to keep a note up here of how long the current queue is so you know about how long it'll take to see a post.

[pumpkinpaix]

a few notes on translation

hey everyone, in light of some of my recent posts (here and here) making the rounds, I’d like to say a few things.

first, I want to say that I am not interested in trying to find a satisfactory english translation of zewu-jun at this time. I know everyone means well and is sharing different ideas out of excitement. that’s great!! I’m very glad I could get you all to consider the complexity of the title and all the pitfalls that come with trying to translate it! however, I do not wish to receive any more suggestions on how to translate zewu-jun. as I said, forcing one language into the shape of another is never going to work perfectly. that’s the nature of the thing.

I understand the impulse and temptation to try to find words in your own language to describe something that you care about, of course I do. but sometimes, you won’t be able to find those words--perhaps they elude you, or perhaps they don’t exist at all. there’s a discomfort in that, I know, but I hope everyone reading this can forgive me for saying that I want you all to live in that discomfort. after all, I have lived here my whole life. when I speak to my family, I do so knowing that I am constantly interacting with them through translation. that no matter how good my english is, it will fail me when it comes time to transmute my thoughts into chinese words.

not gonna lie, it sucks.

It occurred to me sometime in college, I think, that many people don’t experience this: the inherent alienation of not sharing a native language or culture with your parents. I was fiercely jealous, suddenly. I think about all the times my mother and I failed to communicate because of this barrier. I think about all the times that failure hurt. it all felt very unfair.

in a sort of roundabout way, I suppose my current refusal to provide, or even search for, a simple translation of zewu-jun is my attempt to force some of you to experience this, just a little. the feeling of not being able to capture your thoughts in words. the feeling of not being able to communicate. maybe that’s unkind of me, I don’t know.

every time I translate seriously, I think about how lawrence venuti described the violence of translation:

My use of the word “violence” here has been questioned by a professional translator ... Yet if by this term we mean “damage” or “abuse”, then my use of it is neither exaggerated nor metaphoric, but precisely descriptive: a translator is forced not only to eliminate aspects of the signifying chain that constitutes the foreign text, starting with its graphematic and acoustic features, but also to dismantle and disarrange that chain in accordance with the structural differences between languages, so that both the foreign text and its relations to other texts in the foreign culture never remain intact after the translation process.

Translation is the forcible replacement of the linguistic and cultural differences of the foreign text with a text that is intelligible to the translating-language reader. These differences can never be entirely removed, but they necessarily undergo a reduction and exclusion of possibilities - and an exorbitant gain of other possibilities specific to the translating language. ... The aim of translation is to bring back a cultural other as the recognizable, the familiar, even the same; and this aim always risks a wholesale domestication of the foreign text, [oftentimes serving] as an appropriation of foreign cultures for agendas in the receiving situation, cultural, economic, political. Translation is not an untroubled communication of a foreign text, but an interpretation that is always limited by its address to specific audiences and by the cultural or institutional situations where the translated text is intended to circulate and function. [emphasis mine]

-- Lawrence Venuti, The Translator’s Invisibility, 2nd edition p.14 [line breaks added for readability]

it’s wordy, I know, but I think very important in a time when english is becoming/has become the world’s lingua franca, and brings with it its history of imperialism and colonialism. we have to acknowledge that the act of translation comes with violence, sometimes intentional, sometimes not. i don’t agree with venuti entirely--I think translation always damages, but does not always abuse. regardless, i have a very hard time taking this lightly, which is why I don’t do this for a job lol can you imagine.

i bring this up because it’s something that I want people to consider: that the very act of translation is violent. that the fact that we can experience this story at all is violent. that the constant search and demand for the “right” translation is, indeed, violent. that’s okay. it comes with the territory. i’m here too, and I’m glad to have met you. 💛 but I want us all to be able to acknowledge the fact that every time we talk about the source text in a different language, we are holding knives.

i obviously do not think that translation is bad, far from it. i think it’s wonderful and wondrous to be able to communicate across cultures and across time. i read mdzs in translation first, after all. I had to, much like most of you. without it, I would never have been able to experience this story that has become so important to me! translation, for all that it damages, also creates. it makes beautiful things. it is necessary. I love doing it, I love trying to find the right balance so that someone else can also fall in love with this thing I love.

whether or not you agree that translation is inherently violent is ultimately up to you: this is a philosophy, not a truth. I am not particularly well-versed in the discourse of translation. it’s possible that this is considered a truth in translation circles. as of writing this, I wouldn’t know. however, it is a philosophy that I subscribe to--it ensures that I keep my ego in check and reminds me that, like pretty much everything, translation is inevitably political and that it can have significant ramifications.

i want to end this by cycling back to the beginning of this post. all of the suggestions I’ve received are innocuous and well-meaning. I don’t want anyone to feel bad about sending them. i hope you don’t by the end of this post! like I said, I appreciate that they’re all coming from a place of enthusiasm and love. i promise you, I get it. but I won’t be responding to any others.

if you’ve gotten to this point, i urge you all to read @hunxi-guilai‘s notes on her translation process here. she and I have very similar approaches and concerns when we try our hand at mdzs/cql translations, even if we don’t come from or end up at the same place. Though we have a similar cultural background, we have very different wells of knowledge. she does things I can’t, and I do things she can’t. we prioritize differently. but in that post, you can see a practical application of what I’m trying to say here.

and finally, remember, like hunxi said in her disclaimer: we are human, subjective, and fallible. and, in this case, we are both american. do not take our word as law, do not assume that our heritage makes us experts, or gives us a pass. it’s vital to apply your own reasoning to our posts, including this one.

in summary, here is what I want to say: 1) translations will always fail, 2) translations are always violent, 3) the way many people in EN fandom continue to try and find “the perfect translation” for terms and names is part of that violence, 4) if you like the things I post and talk about, then I hope you’ll think about this too

thanks, everyone 💛

[hunxi-guilai]

Also important for people to remember that Chinese media is /Chinese/ media, not Chinese-American media. I've seen Chinese-Chinese people cringing at some Chinese-American takes on shows like The Untamed and others, meanwhile the entire fandom takes their word as law bc they have Chinese heritage so they MUST know what they're talking about. There are few Chinese-Chinese voices in the English speaking fandom, and too often they're dismissed bc "they're brainwashed and don't know any better about their own country" (as if vpns don't exist. as if Chinese people have no discernment. as if they're all stupid) and it's really obnoxious and insulting. It also drives them further away from English speaking fandom, which means everyone will continue in their ignorance.

(squints at this ask) I... can’t tell if you’re reacting to this post and fervently agreeing with my tags below it, or like, trying to call me out? but hey, guess this is a conversation we can have out in the open rather than me constantly hiding my hot takes and disclaimers in the tags because I’m afraid of confrontation

the tags in question:

[...]

#likewise I think folks should be aware that Chinese American folks in fandom do not automatically get a pass #I do not get a pass #to be fair I get a lot more sway but I am not off the hook when it comes to susceptibility to self-orientalization and misunderstanding #internalized racism is real and unfortunate and personal #and it often has to surface through unconscious assumptions in public spheres #I am Once Again asking people to realize that I am a fallible biased and limited resource #and also to be aware and open-minded about the vast oceans of things we do not know #and therefore should not be overhasty in laying judgment upon

I have been saying from -- well, not day one, but since pretty damn early -- that nothing on my blog should not be taken as gospel or unquestionable fact. I’ve tried my best to add disclaimers to posts, to follow up and incorporate corrections and new information as folks with more insight stop by. I try to do due diligence and research in Chinese-language spaces when I come up with answers to people’s questions, but I slip up fairly often, considering the number of times I’ve had to backtrack and re-issue qualifications (which also get less traction, just by comparing the number of notes).

I should not be taken as an authoritative source.

I was not born and raised in China. I do not have perfect native fluency in modern Mandarin, or classical Chinese. I have been indoctrinated with the expected moral values that you’d expect your average US liberal arts college graduate would have; I lack the perspective to perfectly and intimately understand the complicated crosscurrents of culture and history and subalternity that intersect in MDZS/CQL.

I am just as biased as your average Western viewer. 

The explosion of CQL’s popularity in English-speaking fandom has resulted in an unintended byproduct: the privileging of Chinese American folks in fandom spaces, precisely because we have the greatest potential of fluency on both sides of the translation. We are uniquely situated to be translators, guides, resources, tumblr meta blogs, because we can take our knowledge of the non-western unknown and package it in a manner palatable, even appealing, to the side of the fandom stranded without linguistic background.

That being said, it is so, so incredibly important to recognize that ‘Chinese American’ is not a neutral position of omniscience, and if anything, is mired in just as much prejudice and misunderstanding as the ‘American American’ perspective, as anon puts it. Making the assumption that just because someone has Chinese heritage means that they automatically know what they’re talking about is both mistaken and essentialist -- it simplifies people down nothing more than their ethnic heritage and performs some mental acrobatics to conclude that DNA is somehow linked to linguistic/cultural knowledge, which is total bullshit. I fucking worked for my linguistic ability; it wasn’t bestowed upon me by virtue of my chromosomal composition. 

And so I’m keenly aware of the limitations of my knowledge, the bias of my perspective, but your average person trying to have a good time on tumblr isn’t really looking for deep meditations on diasporic Asian identity or critical debate on knowledge/knowability. Most people just want answers, preferably ones written to conform with their preferences of English language composition; I am uniquely situated to provide, and can only try my best to make people aware of the limitations of my own perspective

I know most people don’t read the little blocks of texts on top of the master list pages, but I put disclaimers in there for a reason, and I stand by them still:

Go forth! Educate thineselves! Don’t rely on a single source (me) for all of your information!

[yiqiie]

wangxian fic rec list pt. 3

you can find pt. 1 here and pt. 2 here!

i think it’s about time for another update so here we are again! i have to keep reminding myself to update the notion page every time i bookmark something new so if anyone sees that the notion page is a little quiet for a few days just shoot me an ask and yell at me to update!

i have so many recommendations this time so long post ahead i am sorry! pls reblog if you can! tumblr is always iffy about links and tagging posts so this might not appear in the tags ;; 

notion summary page: here (i only put my favourites in this tumblr list, so if you would like even more recommendations, please read the notion summary for basically all of my bookmarks on ao3) 

something to make your heart ache 

in all my dreams i drown by @idrilka 

fluff, light angst, smut, post-cql 

trigger warning: mentions of some graphic nightmares 

will i ever stop recommending idrilka’s fics? no. this was so perfect bc while i love seeing domestic wangxian just being y’know domestic i love reading fics that examine the consequences being yllz has on wwx and the crucial journey to self-recovery it’s always so beautifully explored in each fic 

sweet chaos by @eachandeverydimension

fluff, light angst, cql au, multi-chapter

this was so PERFECT it takes a lot to get me hooked into a slow burn fic bc i’m usually so impatient so when i see anything more than 12 parts i’m already backing away slowly but this had me hooked so FAST and it’s just such a beautiful story of how two people fall in love and the attention to detail is just stunning i love it when people just get chinese heritage and tradition right 

the best of you by @fozmeadows

fluff, smut, light angst, modern au, multi-chapter

trigger warning: only for some chapters so pls check the tags and the notes!

lwj looking after wwx is my kink okay and i just wanna wrap him up and give him a kiss in this fic bc he’s just :(((( the domestic wangxian popped OFF here and we are all not ready i just remember binging this fic so fast bc it reads so smoothly and the dialogue between lwj and jzx? fcking comedy gold 

花无百日红; the flower that withers by yiqie 

fluff, angst, post-cql

trigger warning: please check the tags! 

once again, is there any fic of yiqie’s that hasn’t made it onto my list? no. guys the description? the premise of this fic? everything about this fic is so beautiful and it’s just stunning execution this is a fic i come back to again and again so please read it, i don’t think any explanation will ever do it justice

build me no shrines by @wanlangji

fluff, angst, smut, post-cql, multi-chapter

the case fic to end all case fics GUYS THE DETAIL IN THIS i remember seeing it making its way around twitter and i saw case fic and immediately went :O and i read all of it in one sitting it’s SO good and wwx is just SO dumb but the wangxian pops off as usual and they kick ass while they’re at it 

and they have escaped the weight of darkness by cosmicmilktea

fluff, light angst, cql au 

an amnesia fic BUT NOT this fic is so beautiful and so heart-clenching i finished it so fast bc i literally could not stop the writing is just so captivating and it’s just such a soulful ending

spring days of my life by @besanii

angst

trigger warning: i read this and literally felt like i was having a heart attack bc it hurt me That Much

beth has done it again :))))) she has murdered my heart and now i’m just a lump on the floor; i needed SEVERAL days to recover from this i am not exaggerating i was literally sweating bc i felt my heart squeeze so painfully it’s literally just pure angst

something to soothe your heart 

where the chaos is by darkredloveknot

fluff, smut, post-cql 

guys GUYS domestic wangxian without the husband bit yet is just *squeal* this was the fic i forgot to bookmark and then i came across it again by chance and i was so RELIEVED i literally just remember this as ‘the fic where lwj carves wwx’s name into a bowl’ and it’s just so wholesome and cute and i love it 

our heart beats, intertwined by xuantime

fluff, light angst, modern au 

wangxian being doctors is a fic i will always stand by and get behind and this is just some pure married content i love them so much wwx is such a dumbass and we are all just like lwj, fondly looking on as he is a complete idiot but we love domestic wangxian in any form so we love this fic 

a little bit everyday by w_wxsparkles

fluff, smut, light angst, modern au 

lwj is so dumb and wwx is a mess we love them so much this was such a GOOD premise for a fic and now i can’t get the image of lwj wearing lip gloss out of my head but there’s just so much wangxian being wangxian here and lots of making out so YES it has mai’s stamp of approval 

as you like it by cosmicmilktea

fluff, post-cql 

DOMESTIC WANGXIAN let lwj be pampered agenda this was so cute and wwx just wants to love his husband thank you very much so we are all a captivated audience as domestic wangxian proves to be even MORE wangxian than usual 

puzzle pieces by @yuisakii

fluff, modern au 

guys yui is actually one of my favourite fic writers and this is PEAK yui content pls follow her on twt bc she makes the best twt fic threads but this is just such GOLD content bc wwx is trying so hard to be a slut and lwj is just *horny grip* 

new york, i love you by @yuisakii

fluff, modern au

the gossip girl au we never thought we needed but YUI STRIKES AGAIN Y’ALL this is perfect bite sized wangxian pining for each other to each other’s faces and we just love them so so much 

we sit in the sunset glow by moonsteps

fluff, light angst, rapunzel au

i have made a promise to read every single rapunzel au out there and this is the PINNACLE of rapunzel fics guys it’s so perfect i love it so much wwx is just so chaotic in his every rendition and i love him so much 

an invisible string by @wangxiians

fluff, modern au 

IS THERE ANYTHING TEDDII CANNOT DO? guys the description?? wangxian finding each other in every single lifetime no matter what? fck the feels popped off with this one the writing is EXQUISITE 

something to make you laugh 

a lot’s gonna change by etymologyplayground

fluff, modern au 

i LOVE this fic bc wen qing and lwj being best friends is literally the best concept i love seeing wwx flirt and be a mess in lwj’s presence and this is all of that beautiful stuff all wrapped in and sprinkled with some mutual pining (for like 5 minutes then they make out) 

save a sword, ride a socialist by @fozmeadows​ 

fluff, smut, modern au, multi-chapter

LWJ IS SUCH A BITCH IN THIS AND I AM HERE FOR IT guys i love the fics with a stoic lwj bc yes canon continuity but pls modern lwj is 100% a bitch, esp if jzx is friend so this is just so good and every thing i never thought i needed in a fic 

bodega love by @nothing-but-colour 

fluff, modern au, multi-chapter

SOME WHOLESOME GROUP TEXT SHENANIGANS guys if you don’t read any other fic pls read this one it’s just so cute and so good and wangxian going on their first date and respectively FREAKING OUT about it is just so good 

[pharahsgf]

ooh I loved the nhs/wwx parallels in fatal journey too. and nmj at the end was so heartbreaking...the way he cried for his fallen men and nhs lied to keep the truth from killing him... and the iconic! Iconic!! shot of nhs bowing to jgy while his eyes glare murder at him. def recommend it lol sorry I just don't see many people talk about that movie anymore. wen ning movie visuals were fucking amazing as well those chains were sick af. im just glad the side characters I actually like are getting the spotlight. like if we can't have more wwx or lwj at least we get wn and nhs. good for them

g-d i love how nie mingjue is shown to protect nie huaisang from the burdens of leadership and saber cultivation but in the end their roles are reversed w nie huaisang protecting his brother from the truth of what he'd done... how we can see nie huaisang starting to realise he can no longer mess around and has to step up to find justice for his brother and manage the sect. this movie is such a good bridge b/w the carefree nie huaisang we meet at the beginning of the show and the much more serious, shrewd figure he eventually becomes. mdzs/cql couldn't show this development for obvious reasons and i love how this movie filled in the blanks

AND THAT FINAL SHOT LIKE BITCHHH

i must admit i have not seen the wen ning movie since i heard it's way less good but i should probably give it a watch when i've got the time... wen ning & a-yuan road trip content is something i love a lot & i don't like that most post canon stuff is so quick to dismiss their relationship and lan sizhui's desire to reconnect w his heritage! so i might like a movie that explores this even if it's bad objectively speaking

[redafar]

HALLO

sino diaspora halfa who's big gay, he/him/他/祂

disfluent heritage speaker of mandarin

if viewing on dash/mobile, this will take you to the 陈情令 The Untamed re-sub project

Masterlist of CQL/MDZS resources

Language

@wangxianling's thread on the meanings of 陈情 Chenqing

pumpkinpaix on not/translating 知己 as "soulmate"

hunxi on linguistic register, or Lan Wangji speaks in complete sentences, actually

Theme

hunxi in defense of Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen's political passivity

pumpkinpaix on CQL's dynamics of class

Source

the official CQL crumb of post-series canon

pumpkinpaix on differences between CQL/The Untamed and MDZS

The Rest

afaik suibian subs is the only entity that has subbed the MDZS audio drama in english

tutorial on how to give the MaoEr FM audio drama team some coins for their bitter labors

how to make the damn soup (it's very easy. recommend adding just shaoxing wine, salt, and sugar at the end.)

[llycaons]

want you to know that I noticed that you changed your blog title the other day and have been thinking abt it ever since and just laughing because the phrase "mr and mr untamed" is so deeply funny to me

I'm so glad you noticed ty for letting me know!! Yes ahshjsjs that phrase is inherently incredibly funny lmao. Honest to god cql world heritage post. happy pride.

[hunxi-guilai]

so I’ve gone off a couple of times in various asks (and in this super short follow-up) on this blog about postcolonial/decolonial dynamics and our consumption of CQL, and to my chagrin, I’ve been sitting on some absolutely wonderful replies in my askbox instead of responding to them. 

I’ve been wrestling with myself for a week now about how I wanted to write back, because I do, it’s just -- hard to get into this material without getting super personal, super fast

warning y’all now: this post isn’t going to be superbly eloquent or pre-eminently rebloggable or whatever -- it’s really just going to be me trying to work through a lot of complicated feelings I have as both a consumer and content creator in this fandom

Still with me? Brave soul. Let’s name some of the players on this stage, then;

《陈情令》Chenqingling / The Untamed, a 2019 xianxia television show produced and released in mainland China, which achieved considerable international attention and acclaim (I hesitate to say ‘unprecedented’ without the numbers to back it up but it feels pretty unprecedented to me) through its release on multiple platforms with wide viewership in the Western cultural sphere 

yes, I know the novel exists in translated form and has had international readers and fans for years; gonna go ahead and set it gently outside of the scope of this post, sorry

an international fandom, full of lovely folks from various cultural backgrounds who are researching, consuming, and producing material in response to the source text 

hunxi-guilai, this blog, run by a second generation Chinese-American person who majored in a field relevant to themes and contexts in CQL during undergrad

several centuries of colonization and imperialism by Western powers, most notably in the 20th century

several centuries of colonization and imperialism within East Asia itself

I’m going to go ahead and put ‘rampant xenophobia, past and present’ on this list as well 

the inherently consumptive nature of media

the complicated dynamics of orientalism, self-orientalism, and orientalist fantasies

the fact that Fandoms are Thirsty

This post isn’t out to solve any of these problems, but I’m hoping that by setting everything out in bullet points, I might be able to contextualize where I’m coming from with these posts. A great deal of my personal unease while participating in this fandom is just that -- personal. It comes out of my own experience of having the audacity to move through the spaces I inhabit while looking the way I look, speaking the way I speak, and making the things I do.

It starts first with orientalism, that long and illustrious European tradition of romanticizing, fetishizing, and exoticizing the Other, the (Near or Far) Eastern, which comes down to us today in all sorts of delightful phenomena like Yellow Fever and Rice Queens, the tiger parenting mythos and the model minority. It lingers in my daily life in the question ah, but where are your parents from? and in cat-calls from across the street; it surfaces in my self-doubt about whether I should have studied what I studied, in the ways I constantly try to prove, even to casual passerbys, no, don’t dismiss me like that, I’m not just another Chinese tourist, I was born here.

It lives somewhere between reading about the increase in hate crimes and thinking helluva birthright, this place.

It comes out of the marginalization and the erasure of the Chinese-American identity, the fact that Amy Tan’s The Joy Luck Club is still considered representative and emblematic of some elusive, monolithic ‘Chinese-American narrative’ (oh don’t get me wrong, it’s a wonderful book, but it’s also thirty years old at this point). It’s spending my formative years grappling with the impossibility of being Chinese enough to feel worthy of some so-called ‘heritage’ and the impossibility of being white enough to be considered ‘a real American.’

It’s struggling with the inherently visual and consumptive nature of television paired with historically subaltern identities, attempting to negotiate the objectifying gaze of audience and the validation of Western recognition. It’s trying to feel thankful for being noticed in a medium that takes, and takes, and takes. It’s scrolling past post after post tagged with nothing but adoration for the physical beauty of an ethnic profile that Western media hegemony has always informed me was too short, too masculine, too effeminate, too chubby, too exotic, too Other, and when you smile too widely, your eyes disappear.

At the same time -- isn’t this everything I wanted? A show that I love achieving international fame and accolade? Representation onscreen? An English-language fandom I can participate freely in? A situation where my undergraduate degree is actually relevant?

Yes and no, because I look around and see that we’ve all fallen in love with a fantasy -- a fantasy world, a fantasy China, a fantasy television show. I grew up on Western fantasy, on Tolkien and Rowling, Jordan and McCaffrey -- fantasy and I, we’re childhood sweethearts -- but I’ve also spent years living on the edges of this particular fantasy, paying regular visits to the wuxia genre, spending long hours tramping through the borders between reality and fiction and the messiness in between. For me, I’m seeing the fantasy of CQL in glorious oversaturation, a technicolor mix of truth and fiction, ambiguity and tradition, culture and constructedness --

-- and it pulls a fond, wistful twist from the corner of my mouth, because I know that there is no space for someone exactly like me in this fantasy, futuristic diasporic Chinese descendent, forever more fluent in translation than heritage --

but that’s a load of self-indulgent angst. The point I’m trying to make is, a lot of folks are still watching this show in black and white, and taking the single spots of color I offer up in vaguely coherent metas as entire palettes. To quote Brandon Sanderson, there’s always another secret. In this context:

there’s always more complexity

What I’m trying to say, couched in less opaque metaphor, I said better in a previous post:

What I’m trying to get at here is [resisting] a homogenized/essentialist reading of China and Chinese culture – there’s no single version of China, just as there’s no single way of being Chinese.

I love CQL, but it does absolutely nothing to disrupt the narrative of a monolithic China. Is that it’s job? No, of course not; but then it falls upon others to do that work.

(Sometimes, that Other is me. Sometimes, it’s just easier to quote from my own posts because I already know what I wrote):

...Chinese history is not a single, linear narrative from start to finish. Dynasties rise; dynasties fall. There are long centuries of disunion between each dynasty, where culturally-distinct kingdoms war amongst each other. Rituals come in and out of fashion; standards of beauty oscillate; literary movements fall out of favor and new ones rise to take their place; gender relations fluctuate along sliding scales of freedom and equality; styles of clothing pass out of vogue; etiquette and social courtesies shift...

What even is “Chinese?” China, as its borders are drawn today, includes over 50 ethnic groups – all with their own spiritual practices, rites-of-passage, naming conventions, styles of dress, illustrious ancestry. China, as its borders are drawn today, includes Tibet and Xinjiang – two regions which have historically, been invaders, trading partners, part of some dynasties, not in others. What the fuck even is China? A totalitarian regime, an exoticized fantasy land, the eternally orientalized Other?

(and that doesn’t even START getting into all the diasporic cultures out there)

It’s time for this post to start angling towards a point, but I don’t have one -- like I said earlier, I haven’t solved any of these problems, and still struggle with them on a daily basis. What I do have, however, are the best anons anyone can ask for:

I DID have a good day thanks to you anon, and it’s super reassuring to hear that I’m not the only person troubled by this. You know, that classic diasporic experience: Are These Really Microaggressions Or Am I Just Being Oversensitive?

<3 you’re bothered, I’m bothered, and in the end, nobody’s done anything wrong -- everyone in this fandom (or at least, my corner of it) is so supportive! And appreciative! And balanced and open-minded and genuinely curious! 

It’s just sometimes... exhausting. It’s hard work overriding decades of internalized erasure and stereotype, but it’s good work.

hi anon, you put a lot into words that I’ve been trying and failing to articulate in this post. I’ve been thinking a lot about this Audre Lorde quote recently:

Black and Third World people are expected to educate white people as to our humanity. Women are expected to educate men. Lesbians and gay men are expected to educate the heterosexual world. The oppressors maintain their position and evade their responsibility for their own actions. There is a constant drain of energy which might be better used in redefining ourselves and devising realistic scenarios for altering the present and constructing the future.

and trying to figure out if there’s a box I fit into in there. The thing is, I genuinely enjoy answering asks, researching old texts, trawling the internet for answers. It’s just that sometimes... I get tired.

hello yes you are now one of my anons sorry not sorry I’m keeping this one folks

it’s overwhelming from this end too!!! there’s so much goddamned history and literature and cultural referents to catch up on!!! I still haven’t gotten the hang of English-language memes, much less homophonous character-based memes!!!

h e ck

thank you, anon, for checking in, being so open, and also reminding me to check myself. I went so suddenly and vociferously off the handle in my original post, and then when I didn’t get much response, proceeded to assume the worst. That was pretty hasty and close-minded of me, and I apologize, because I want myself to be better than that, and being better than that means letting people sit and think and breathe in peace, god, hunxi, c’mon --

it’s hard!!!! It’s so hard to figure out how to just be a decent person in society, much less a good one, because our interactions are fraught with the conflict and context of a thousand generations of 江湖恩怨 kindnesses and wrongs, debts unpaid and feuds unended and favors forgotten and lives owed. 

Anyway, this post has been super long; I’m not sure if y’all got anything out of reading it, but I feel like I got plenty out of writing it. Thanks for sticking with me. It’s an ongoing process. We all are -- ongoing processes, that is. And thanks to all the anons who hopped into my askbox to help me improve my process; here’s to hoping it sticks

[hunxi-guilai]

Sorry your inbox got flooded all at once, and thanks for all the thoughtful and patient research leg work you do!!!!!

aw shucks folks no YOU--

It’s been approximately 33 hours since I’ve re-opened my askbox and we’re already past 50 asks again, but a sizable percentage of those asks are lovely heartwarming messages like this, so thank you for that!!!

(I have unofficially decided that every time I get a nice thank-you ask I will float my ko-fi instead of attaching it to posts, so, uh, blacklist ‘positivity’ or ‘<3′ if you’re not interested in seeing that I guess??? rip that came out wrong)

a surprising side-effect of me keyboard smashing on this scale for CQL is that quite a few folks have popped by to say hi expressing sentiments along the lines of ‘I hated learning Chinese growing up but your writing makes me think about it again!’ and honestly? that makes me so happy, you have no idea

because I’ve been there, folks, learning Chinese grudgingly on weekends, making up 马丽萍 passwords to avoid doing the lessons, and trying my goddamned best to avoid this murder language (I say now, with fondness); and I have Many Feelings but Little Coherent Thought about the sheer diversity of diasporic/Chinese-American experience and the different ways we all come to grapple with that monolith people insist on calling ‘heritage’

so the fact that my keyboard smashing helps rehabilitate some traumatic childhood memories? a million wins in my book

keep on keepin’ on, folks, although if I wake up tomorrow and we’ve broken sixty asks I’m probably going to have to close the askbox for a week again to work through ‘em, r i p