#critrole vines

[undead-knick-knack]

Ashton: Sometimes I think I should have let that bedroom set kill you all

Bells Hells:

[puwumats]

i call this one

"consequences"

a.k.a.: Sam Finds His Gag Reflex

[kingsofhellfire]

Modern Steve in the Past AU

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Y'all my brain keeps spiralling with "rip Eddie Munson you would have loved critrole" & then going "I want a modern Steve having to navigate the 1980s who can actually think 'rip Eddie Munson you would have loved d&d shows'"

LEGOs Stranger Things:

In no particular order-

-steve is stymied by stick shift, and part of the reason hes territorial over his car is bc it's NICE & it's AUTOMATIC. if he has to figure out first vs third gear or find out what neutral actually does he will lose his shit all over the pavement

-i think it'd be funny if he referenced memes every once in a while or said things like "lmao" out loud & to everyone else sounded absolutely incomprehensible

-if he listens to any podcasts I want him to listen to behind the bastards & dungeons & daddies- not a bdsm podcast

-"yeah yeah four dads from our world flung into the forgotten realms on a quest to resume their lost sons, we've all heard it" "I'm sorry, we have NOT, who are you and what have you done with Steve"

-addendum- this really stresses him out in s4 with favorite songs like. How's he gonna say "my favorite song won't be made for about ohh 20, 30 years"

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Okay now I'm actually mapping this modern Steve nonsense out. Bear with me now I cannot put this genie back in the bottle

LEGOs Stranger Things:

-UD is frozen in time, we've all seen that used as a convenient time travel/stop death plot device

-we can have some modern day UD shenanigans. As a treat

-doesnt matter how Steve gets to Hawkins it just matters that he does, and it's prior to 1983 now

-hes like hang on didn't aunt (someone) & uncle (whoever) live here? Dad talked about them occasionally. A lot of stuff happened in this town right?

-the point is- the Harringtons have not fucking changed, this house is empty 90% of the time

-steve is flying by the seat of his pants here but is like Yeah I'm uh. Housesitting for my aunt & uncle. Right.

-it works out bc this is fiction and it's convenient for me. Steve Harrington, nephew of the Harringtons who ostensibly live in loch Nora, is established

-you gotta have something to do when you're trying not to think abt the dread & fear of everything falling apart! Podcasts are out so sportsball it is

-people probably don't question him super much bc he's pretty & charismatic

-and then s1 starts & steve gets sucked into The PlotTM

Vega:

Wait so, he's Steve from the future, who ends up in the 80's and just kinda house squats at his relatives' house? I can vibe with that!

Mizaku Ito:

say, his fav song... could it be https://open.spotify.com/track/50Cf2eYv8zT3v2HAkwhIiL?si=03639ef2affb4aae

idk, i just want this dork to vibe to somehting silly ig 😅

plus, we know he likes banana's

Vega:

YOOOOO that song is norwegian!! it's from my country!! 🤩 love to see some rep out inthe wild lmao

Mizaku Ito:

steve as a eurovision fan, anyone?

Vega:

YES :yellsteve: he'd be so into it! The politics, the drama, the unhingedness of it all

kesbird:

god the vine and tiktok references he'd make

Mizaku Ito:

conchita wurst

Chase | Splintercat on AO3 — Yesterday at 3:54 PM

I love the Steve from the future idea omg

Vega:

Steve, driving Robin to school- chuckles Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does!

Robin- :biconfusion: are you an idiot, Steve??

Chase | Splintercat on AO3 — Yesterday at 3:58 PM

Everyone just being like 🤨 when he makes a vine reference but they chalk it up to the concussions lol

Mizaku Ito:

the dad jokes

LEGOs Stranger Things: THATS IT THATS THE VIBE

kesbird:

Steve very upset that he didn't learn the like lotto numbers or something helpful like all he's got is vine references and a really good following on tiktok in like 40 years

@LEGOs Stranger Things I need this fic so bad lmao

He deffo would invest in apple though early on just like "guys TRUST me"

LEGOs Stranger Things:

LMAOOO I can try but this is gonna be the best you'll get from me

Oh my god the common hc is that Steve's a cubs fan right

Bc before 2016 their last win was in 1908

Like I'm imagining Steve going "wait I should know who wins a world series when right?" & drawing a fucking blank bc it's never the goddamn Cubs

Mizaku Ito:

he can still bet on their outcomes right?

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Yeah he can it's just not the like guarantee

Vega:

then 2016 finally rolls around and he's like this is my year ??

rainbownerds:

Steve the back to the future fan who ends up going back to the 80s and has a whole fanboy moment. Maybe Dustin finds out sometime before season 3 in canon time and Steve quotes doc brown to sound smart until the movie comes out and Dustin yells at him about it

kesbird:

pffft that's so hilarious and we know how he is about quoting things lmao

rainbownerds:

"I dunno how it happened, Henderson! Maybe there was some kind of fluxy catheter or one point fifty three jiggle-whats of plutonium around but somehow I got here"

kesbird:

"I'm gonna pretend you didn't just use jiggle and catheter while trying to explain time travel. Jesus Steve"

if there were catheters and plutonium involved I don't wanna know." "I don't know just time travel shit dude!" OMG dustin once he finds out keeps pestering steve on the plot to sequel movies

Chase Splintercat on AO3:

What if Steve kept getting mixed up on what year movies or songs were released too?

“Oh Madonna is great, I love Vogue!”

“What?”

LEGOs Stranger Things:

"look, closest I get to nerd science is Jurassic park"

"Steve you READ?"

"Oh my god it was a BOOK??"

Chase | Splintercat on AO3 — Yesterday at 4:48 PM

Ok wait but what if he accidentally made references to the LOTR movies lol

rainbownerds:

Steve accidentally spoiling everything because he can never remember what happened in which installment

kesbird:

FACTS

Kingdom Kai:

Okay but people asking Steve for the LOTR movie cast and like ecery big name the response is who

Mizaku Ito:

Orlando Bloom! You know, from the pirates stuff!

Kingdom Kai:

In 86 Orlando bloom was ten lmao

Mizaku Ito:

But would Steve pause to think and do the math on that xD

Oh! Vecna! Steve will say they'll need his jar of dirt! And nobody will get it because potc isn't a thing yet!

Kingdom Kai:

Lbr Steve would have no idea how old anyone is without google

Mizaku Ito:

I don't either

rainbownerds:

"ah shit, I see what's happening here. Uhh who's the old dude again?"

Mizaku Ito:

Wanna bet he calls sir Ian McKellen "sir Kelly"?

Vega :

"Oh yeah i really love that part where arwen saves frodo and they're being chased across the river by the ringwraiths!" "That was glorfindel, what did you smoke, steve??"

Gorgeousgreymatter:

LMAO

the toe fact

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Okay but how does a guy that could have known what persona 5 was explain how this whole vecna situation was giving him major persona vibes

Gorgeousgreymatter:

he would know that

Mizaku Ito:

"never heard of glory belt before, whose that?"

Chase | Splintercat on AO3 — Yesterday at 5:05 PM

Steve has no idea who Tom Bombadil is despite making numerous lotr references

kesbird:

I love the idea of steve like not thinking and making an lotr joke and eddie just spinning around like "you read the books????" and steves like no but I watched the movies and eddie is so confused because he cannot IMAGINE steve watching that old animated one

LEGOs Stranger Things:

"oh yeah viggo mortensen was hot as fuck, they used the take where broke his toe kicking that helmet"

rainbownerds:

I mean Steve canonically just calls actors by names of other characters they play he'd call him magneto and make the kids little nerd brains melt

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Steve Harrington: grond was more of a dad to me than my real dad was

Vega:

I was thinking that too! him and eddie bonding over lotr until steve goes Tom BombaWHO?? and eddie is very confused

Mizaku Ito:

The... Door break thingy???

Gorgeousgreymatter:

steve's smeagol impression

kesbird:

oh god he would have one

jesus

Mizaku Ito:

"it burns us precious!"

Chase Splintercat on AO3:

Ok but Steve knows who Figwit is right lol

Gorgeousgreymatter:

dustin: do people in the future think that's good

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Yeah I think maybe that's just my friend group that makes "that's my dad Grond" jokes then huh

rainbownerds:

"I swear that's what he sounds like!!"

kesbird:

Ok but Steve just starts making shit up about the future he's like "harrison ford plays smeagol actually no make up"

Madonna's in it as the elf woman

Gorgeousgreymatter:

AHHHHH

Mizaku Ito:

How a out Ronald McDonald running for president... And winning!

Gorgeousgreymatter:

dustin calls him in the future when it's finally cast like you son of a bitch

kesbird:

lmao can you imagine them hearing that they are releasing the lotr movies soon and all of the party being so scared because Steve has been feeding them lies since the 80s

LEGOs Stranger Things:

He's been keeping that sucker charged!! He's allowed to have a Nintendo switch & a phone with a USB-C charger in a little bag when he gets kidnapped. I'm allowing him that bc I need him to be like "well at least I'll have free time to beat persona 5 royal" or smth

kesbird:

God Steve being an EDM music kind of person though like straight up likes club music and when the others first have a listen to it they're like????

wynnyfryd || moo moo! — Yesterday at 5:25 PM

future steve is to blame for eddie’s eurotrash phase

kesbird:

YEP

LEGOs Stranger Things:

I'm allowing him whatever video games I have downloaded on my 512 gb memory card bc I'm imagining Dustin finding out that he has a little machine that has 32 gb naturally & 512 GB REMOVABLE MEMORY, SMALLER THAN A METACARPAL

Also bc I have Hades downloaded & he deserves to have the Beat the Shit Out Of Your Dad game

kesbird:

Dustin would wanna study it like a bug but steve won't even let him breathe near it "because if this thing breaks and I have to wait like 30 years to play this game I'm gonna lose it henderson"

Gorgeousgreymatter:

That's what I'm saying!!! DUSTIN WOULD SCREAM

Mizaku Ito:

Will that make them think he's from, idk, 2180s?

Gorgeousgreymatter:

omfg those dumbasses imagining full on jetsons

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Yeah lmao Dustin's like I draw the LINE at this 30 YEARS FROM NOW dogshit

Mizaku Ito:

Because let's be real, technology has been making leaps

Gorgeousgreymatter:

yeah dude we all have personal robots in the future. or we did. until they started getting smarter.... (Dustin: WHAT DOES THAT MEAN)

Mizaku Ito:

They wouldn't believe him about musk sending a sports car up into space either

Gorgeousgreymatter:

I wouldn't believe anything that's happened between 2016-now lmao

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Being fair I also do not want to believe it. Fucker

Gorgeousgreymatter:

or i would and be really sad about it :sNort:

kesbird:

Lmao steve forgetting when things happened so he's like "Yeah and they sent a man up to the moon!" "That's already happened Steve" "Oh... well they sent a sports car up there too!"

Mizaku Ito:

"honestly I'm just glad i escaped the pandemic by coming here"

No further explanations

kesbird:

dude remembers he's gonna have to go through that pandemic bullshit AGAIN

wynnyfryd || moo moo! — Yesterday at 5:29 PM

just mumbles “have the murder hornets come yet?” and ominously walks out

kesbird:

when it first starts becoming a thing and people are liek "It'll blow over soon 😌 " and steve is already ferally buying everything in bulk and has at least like 30 cozy pajamas for the long haul

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Eddie & Robin like. I have some bad news for you abt that

kesbird:

"I'm just glad there isn't acid rain yet"

LEGOs Stranger Things:

The party are like. Literally almost nothing that's come out of your mouth has been promising

Mizaku Ito:

"they were working on bringing back the mammoths when i left"

wynnyfryd moo moo!:

oh noooooooo future steve knowing how bad 80s hair products are for the environment

and like, probably your hair lol all the flammable af hairspray

Chase Splintercat on AO3:

Ok but my hurt/comfort brain is now picturing Steve comforting Robin with news about queer rights

kesbird:

Dustin- "Well if we are actually believing Steve then there are soon going to be * squints at notes * murder hornets, a plague, acid rain, and a robot uprising so-"

Mizaku Ito:

"we'll have to wait until the turn of the century, but as soon as they legalize gay marriage, I'm flying you and whatever girl you'll be dating to the Netherlands for your wedding"

O. Wha. what about Dahmer

Like, with the big deal being made about the show, i can see Steve having watched it... And now he's in the time period where Dahmer's.... Dahmering.

LEGOs Stranger Things:

YIKES

What I'm hearing tho is that this all comes out in the wash to the scoops troop in S3 & to the party at large more or less during s4

kesbird:

Y’all this came up on my TikTok and it just fits with what we’ve been saying lol

Chase Splintercat on AO3:

Oh god I just remembered about Schwarzenegger being a governor... that's totally one of those ones the party wouldn't believe until it happened lol

kesbird:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV5yxyw/

TikTok

Miller on TikTok

It all could have been avoided if some just handed him a koosh ball #eddiemunson #strangerthings #fidgettoys #theyhe

Miller on TikTok

kesbird:

At this point they have like a betting pool on which crazy thing Steve is right about and what he’s just making up

messessentialist [sadie!]:

i will never catch up with future steve but i hope you all had FUN

LEGOs Stranger Things:

Hoping & praying that Steve's seen the "shit tier ugly ass elf" post bc i. Hang on. I was abt to say I NEED or see him reference it. But then I realized I'm the captain of this goddamn frigate

kesbird:

LOL

abby:

wait. if steve's phone has modern-day internet in the Upside Down...is he gonna start posting tiktoks?

"sorry i dropped off the face of the earth, guys, i just time traveled to 1983. P.S. do y'all think that alternate dimension monster bats can have rabies? My friend is worried"

LEGOs Stranger Things:

On one hand I'm erring on the side of no bc itd probably drain his battery too much & break his NDAs. But on the other hand

On the other hand. It is SO funny to me to think abt steve going "demobats stole my fucking liver. Can't have SHIT in Hawkins!!!"

[critrolesideblog]

I posted 1,658 times in 2022

That's 847 more posts than 2021!

53 posts created (3%)

1,605 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@utilitycaster

@secondhandjokess

@maddyscrsideblog

@saturdaysky

@callingvoicemail

I tagged 1,582 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#cr campaign 3 - 341 posts

#critrole spoilers - 320 posts

#shadowgast - 185 posts

#caleb widogast - 144 posts

#essek thelyss - 136 posts

#mighty nein - 106 posts

#jester lavorre - 80 posts

#mighty nein reunion - 75 posts

#orym - 58 posts

#fjord - 47 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#i was just thinking about how when jester first ends a message with 🎵do do-do do~🎵 liam specifies that caleb is on the floor laughing

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

A little scene inspired by this lovely drawing by @kurosmind

---

The Nein Heroez set sail from Nicodranas at sunset. Essek stood on the deck of the ship, watching the city grow smaller and the first stars of the evening spark into being in the dusky sky, when -- "oof!" -- a pair of strong, blue arms wrapped themselves around his middle.

"Wow, you're super light!" Jester declared gleefully as she stretched upward to hoist him into the air. He dropped his hover charm. With a squeal and a laugh, she swayed a moment under the sudden weight before finding her balance, and he could not help but laugh with her.

She set his feet on the deck, but did not release him from her grasp. She rested her chin on his shoulder, squeezing him tightly. Joy lingered on both their faces. "I'm glad you're here with us."

"As am I." He peered at her sidelong. "I am looking forward to seeing what sort of trouble you'll get me into this time."

"Oh, so much," she replied, grinning at him mischievously. Her tail wrapped around them, first one way and then the other, like a child playing hide and seek. Then, her smile softened, and she turned her head, resting her cheekbone on his shoulder. "But, you know, we'll get you out of it again. Don't worry."

"I have no doubt, Jester." And as the lights of Nicodranas twinkled like stars in the distance, he found that it was true. The warm ocean wind carded her fingers through their hair, and love, joy, and, perhaps, a little bit of chaos bloomed in Essek's heart, tenacious, vining things, squeezing him tight as Jester's arms around him. He leaned back against her. "I have no doubt."

77 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

#4

"Why don't we set up the Tower here?" Caleb asked, as he stepped out onto the streets of Aeor. "It's as good a spot as any." He gave a long stretch of his arms and a barely-suppressed yawn as he ambled over to Essek.

"Certainly," Essek replied, allowing himself a small stretch of his stiff neck and shoulders, as he glanced, again, up and down the avenue, setting his ears in search of any suspicious sound to indicate a creeping abomination. They had spent the last five hours sorting through the personal effects and, more importantly, the papers of one Octavia Metella, an arcane researcher with a habit of taking her work home with her. "I do not believe we will be disturbed."

Essek drifted toward a nearby alley as Caleb began digging around in his Bag of Holding for the Tower components. In the perpetual gloom of Aeor, the shadows of the alley were difficult for even Essek's keen eyes to pierce, sandwiched as it was between two tall residential buildings. With a practiced flex of his fingers, he cast Dancing Lights and was met with a riot of color.

There were layers upon layers of graffiti crammed into every available square inch on the right-hand wall. Some of it appeared hastily scrawled, some painted with skill and planning in bright colors, and some carved into the very stone itself. He brushed his fingertips against the wall and waited, watching as the letters rearranged themselves, reforming, at last, into new words. One etching, small and blocky, read, Julia and Claudia, the very best of friends. Nearby, a message in simple black ink: On this 10th day of Misuthar, 300 Post Ascension, Drusilla passed her entrance exam! Drusilla's announcement encroached on the edges of a brightly-painted piece, its script alternately bubbly and flowing, surrounded by stylized moons and arrows, reading, If you doubt the power of the Moonweaver, gaze upon my girlfriend.

Essek stepped in further still, tracing his hand along a line of bright green that swirled into spiraling, vining patterns as it lead him deeper into the alley and towards much coarser fare.

Icarus must part centaur, if you understand my meaning...

Celadus makes the girls moan! With your awful jokes, perhaps! We know you wrote this yourself, Celadus! You are merely envious...

You scholars and mages, why have your face in a book, when you could have your face in this pussy?

The source of the bright green line was the end of a phallus, etched deeply into the wall, and encircled with the words Handle with Care. Additional instructions were scrawled beneath for the uninitiated: Students -- rub that dick for good luck on your exams!

Well, that certainly explains why this bit of stone is so much more weathered than the rest, Essek thought, bemusedly, surveying the well-loved dick whose anatomical details had been reduced to vague hints by untold years of rubbing.

It was perfect.

With a flick of his hand, he retrieved a notebook and pencil from his Wristpocket and placed one of the blank pages against the engraven image on the wall. It is a shame I do not have an exam upon which to test this assertion, he thought with a snort of wry amusement as he began making a rubbing of the dick and accompanying inscription.

As if summoned by the absurdity of the situation, Jester's voice burst into this mind. "Hey, Essek! Hope you're having a good day and haven't died! Kingsley and Fjord say 'hi!' We're leaving Gwardon tonight... Got... you... gifts! Love you!"

A fond smile spread across Essek's face. "Caleb and I are well. We had a good day. I have some gifts for you also," he said coyly, grinning as he finished the head and moved down the shaft. "Give Fjord and Kingsley my regards. Safe travels."

"What are you doing?"

If Essek's feet had been on the ground, he might have jumped. Instead, he jerked away from the wall, wheeling around to find Caleb at the alley's entrance. He was regarding Essek and the graffiti with equal parts curiosity and amusement.

"Ah." Essek tried to obscure the notebook in the folds of his cloak, even as he knew the measure was useless. He had been caught. "I was speaking with Jester. She and the crew are about to leave Gwardon."

Caleb raised an eyebrow at him, clearly unconvinced by his obfuscation. He walked forward slowly with his own amber Dancing Lights floating around his head, trailing his hand along the wall in much the same way Essek had. He chuckled here and there at the bawdy messages, until he arrived, at last, at the dick and burst out laughing.

"At Soltryce, we had a statue whose ass you were supposed to kiss. You would never catch anyone kissing it, and yet, it was always the most polished part of the statue."

"Ah, there was a similar tradition at the Marble Tomes. There was a statue of the founder, Zoshia Zolaed, and one was supposed to pat the... ass of the statue." His vulgarity earned him a grin from Caleb. "Zolaed herself, in her current incarnation, finds the practice highly amusing and is often seen lovingly patting her own ass anytime she passes the statue. It is considered extra lucky if you are the first to pat the statue after her."

Caleb was smiling as he leaned against the wall next to the dick, amusement causing his Lucidian blue eyes to sparkle in the dim glow of their Dancing Lights.

"So, are you conducting research on the superstitions of Aeor's students, or did you think I might be putting you through your paces later?"

Essek raised his chin haughtily. "I have never required luck in such matters."

"You never patted Zolaed's ass?"

"She's not my type."

Caleb grinned, tilted his head inquisitively, and waited.

"I . . ." It had been some time since Essek had felt such hesitancy sharing an idea with Caleb. It was easy to share things with Caleb, even untested, off-the-cuff ideas and works-in-progress, even when he had been trying his damnedest not to spill all of his secrets over wine and a hot tub full of their friends. But this was no impartial arcane experiment. The hypothesis tested by this project was one he wanted very much to succeed, and so, he had been putting off the test. But it seemed the time had come. "I have been collecting such samples for a few weeks. I thought I would present it to Jester as important art from the lost city of Aeor." He dipped his voice in joking gravitas as he held out the notebook for Caleb's review. "Of course, she would translate it in no time." Caleb began slowly leafing through its contents. "Not all of it is bawdy, some of it I thought she might enjoy on artistic merit, like that mural we came across in the Genesis Ward, but I thought she would appreciate some of the work of her compatriots across time." He made a vague gesture toward the dick on the wall. For lack of a notebook to hold, his hands found each other behind his back, pressing, twisting, wringing, as he examined Caleb's face for any hint of reaction as he took in Essek's findings.

It certainly seemed like the sort of thing Jester would like. There were days when he felt certain of it, days when he felt he knew Jester very well indeed. Certainly having her voice in his mind daily, sometimes multiple times a day, lead to a certain level of familiarity. But there were other days when an offhand reference to her childhood or her adventures with the Nein would remind him, like discovering an anti-magic field by stumbling to his feet, that he had spent less than a month in Jester's presence.

"Do you think she will like it?"

"Did you draw this?"

See the full post

393 notes - Posted February 26, 2022

#3

Essek and Caleb lounge in the bed in the room that was once Caleb's and is now theirs. Their legs tangle beneath the silken sheets as they lean against an excess of pillows, both things Caleb has gotten into the habit of including in the casting of the tower in recent months, should his Kryn colleague arrive. A tray with a charcuterie board overflowing with fruits, cheeses, meats, and other snacks is held aloft between them by the tail a spectral cat as they sip on chilled wine and discuss their recent adventures.

"So anyway," says Caleb. "Once I had shapechanged, I cast Gravity Fissure. Of course, I tried to aim so it would only hit Uk'otoa…" There is a long pause in which Caleb expects a chorus of whispers, but Essek merely raises a curious eyebrow.

"Is something wrong?"

"Ah, no, it is nothing."

"Why did you pause?"

"It is nothing, truly." Caleb waves a mildly chagrinned hand. "It is one of our bits, you know. I don't suppose we've had cause to do it around you much. Usually, when someone says Uk'otoa, everyone else whispers Uk'otoa. I merely paused out of habit."

"Ah, I see," Essek replies, picking among the snacks on the tray. "I missed my cue. Please --" he pops a grape into his mouth -- "back to your story. Say that last part again, and I'll do the bit."

"That isn't necess--"

"No, no, please. I believe you were casting some advanced dunamancy." There is a warm flame of desire kindling behind his lilac eyes as he takes a sip of wine.

"Ah, yes, I cast Gravity Fissure at Uk'otoa--"

"Uk'otoa," Essek chimed in his normal, conversational tone. "… Like that?"

". . . Hm, well, ja, normally we really lean into the stage whisper: Uk'otoa -- like that."

"Ah, I see. Once more, once more." He beckons imperiously as he searches for another snack on the tray.

"I cast the spell at Uk'otoa--"

"Uk'otoa," Essek's voice dips deep in tone, but not volume. The sort of voice he often used as Shadowhand. "Like that?"

Caleb narrows his eyes at him, and practiced as he is now at seeing past the serene masks Essek wears, when Essek glances at him sidelong, he sees plainly the amusement and mischief hiding in the slight quirk of his eyebrow and narrowing of his eyes. Caleb tosses a small wedge of cheese toward his head for his trouble, which sails past its mark, and the spectral cat, Gertie, swats it out of the air. The mischief and amusement come out hiding entirely as Essek lays back on the pillows laughing. Dimples appear on his cheeks as he laughs, and Caleb can't help but reach out run his thumb along Essek's cheekbone as he commits the image to memory. Essek leans into the touch with a small sigh.

"If you are quite done fucking with me," Caleb says, after a moment, tossing a blackberry at him. It slows in its trajectory mid-air and, with a guiding swish of his hand, Essek floats it into his waiting teeth.

"Fucking with you?" Essek's voice is still silky and deep as he rises from the pillows. "Not at present, but that can certainly be arranged." The fire in Essek’s eyes catches in Caleb’s heart.

"Hm, Gertie, I think that will be all for now."

439 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

#2

Caleb was pulled from his warm, hazy doze by whispered curses in Undercommon. Not an uncommon occurrence in and of itself, but the rhythmic frrrpt, frrrpt of stitches being pulled from knitted fabric was a new sound to his ears. He lifted his head from the pillow where he had been resting for seven minutes and sixteen seconds and peered groggily at the elf sitting next to him in bed, who was looking at a lopsided bit of knitted fabric with great consternation. Essek froze momentarily mid-pull on the thread of yarn connecting the fabric to a nearby particolored ball, as he realized Caleb was watching him, and then resumed his task.

"I dropped a stitch." He said without looking away from his work.

"You dropped a stitch?"

"To be expected, as a novice."

"And… how long have you been knitting?"

"The past five minutes."

"Ah… and when did you decide to take up knitting?"

"Earlier this afternoon." Essek paused as he carefully reinserted the knitting needle in the remaining stitches. "I was speaking with Beau this morning," he said, slowly as he resumed his work. "We were discussing that case she's been working on. At one point, I mentioned my numerous sins, and she told me to, ah, 'get a hobby.'" Caleb gave a soft a snort of laughter as he settled back down onto his pillow, which earned him a brief, withering glare, before Essek continued. "Uraya used to knit -- still does, I assume -- when they were working on a particularly troublesome problem. They said it helped clear their mind. I was always intrigued, but I did not have the time to pursue it before."

"The colors are lovely," Caleb yawned, as he brushed his fingers against the soft ball of verigated oranges, reds, and deep purples.

"I'm glad you think so… I thought I would add a scarf to your collection."

Caleb smiled as he closed his eyes. I love you, too.

517 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

has this been done yet?

2,390 notes - Posted July 27, 2022

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[criticalrole-but-vines]

Percy: Sylas, look at me

Sylas Briarwood: What?

Percy: Bitch

[forgotn1]

Jester, to Veth: “Let me see what you have.”

Veth, running past: “A KNIFE!”

Jester: “NO!”

[flowercoasts]

marisha: let me see what you have!

matt: beau’s backstory!

marisha: n O -

[mattmercerisgod]

Jester: *pours water on a sleeping Fjord's face*

Fjord: *spits salt water back at Jester* Hello?

[sockablock]

Nott: hey everyone, today Fjord pushed me so I'm starting a kickstarter to put him down. The benefits of killing him would be that I'd get pushed way less—

[tardigraded20]

source: https://www.pinterest.ca/pin/514043744967482422/

[jesterlafjord]

I have no art skills but all of these absolutely wonderful gifs of Caduceus’ eye rave makes me want to see him in that one ‘Caterpillar Rave’ vine!

[picturefirelizards]

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Presenting…. vines machina volume 2

[bi-naesala]

Kiri, who has just learned this word from Jester: Daddy?

Fjord: ...

Fjord: DO I LOOK LIKE-

[nottanothercritter]

travis's look of utter betrayal was cinematically fantastic

[amethyst-skeleton]

we found a bee on the side of the road and named it after pike and fed it sugar water and set her free and found another tiny baby bee and named it after grog and scooped him up on a piece of paper to take him home and save him but a car went past and he got blown into the road and then we went home and pike had died in the garden rip 😭😭😭😭😭

[criticalrole-but-vines]

Calianna: When I was a kid, kids made fun of me for being a tiefling. Which is an issue, because I'm not a tiefling.