#crol

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Bentley Shenanigans (Good Omens)

Crowley x Fem!Reader 18+ ONLY / requests are open and encouraged

Summary: Crowley needs to relieve some frustrations after that shitshow of a birthday party.

CW: vaginal sex, fingering, dirty talk, car sex, vague degradation/humiliation

Good Omens tag list: @coffee-and-red-lipstick @quickslvxrr @clarina04 @motionlessindoubt (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___

This was possibly one of the most shocking things you had ever seen. Crowley was wearing white. You’d never seen him in anything other than black and when he’d first come to pick you up after the birthday party, you had known something was different, but couldn’t pick what it was. It had actually taken you at least two solid minutes to realise that it was because he was wearing white. 

“What the fuck- you’re- what are you wearing?” 

Crowley glances at you as he pulls into the parking spot at the lookout trail and turns the car off. Sometimes the two of you came out here just to get away. 

“What- this old thing?” He chuckles, tossing his sunglasses onto the dash before sighing defeatedly. Oh dear, it wasn’t a good sign if he could barely keep his sultry demeanour going.

“I think,” he trailed off. “It is safe to say… that did not go as well as I hoped it would.”

You’re not really sure what to make of that, given that the balance of the world as you knew it hung squarely on Crowley and Aziraphale’s shoulders. Sitting quietly, you wait for Crowley to continue. 

“I mean, really- you wouldn’t have thought it would be that hard, would you? Fucking nuns, Pet. Useless, the lot of them.” 

Crowley pinches his nose and turns toward you, eyeing you up and down. Your dress has ridden up your thighs and you do not fail to notice the way he eyes you appreciatively. 

“Fancy a quick fuck?” He asks casually. You splutter on a response for a moment. Here you were, discussing how the end of the world was fast approaching in less than a week, and Crowley wanted to shag? You blinked at him. That wasn’t to say you weren’t interested, either, mind you. You definitely were, but, it was just a bit out of the blue was all. What did that say about you, you wondered… In the face of the end of the world, you’re thinking about getting fucked one more time. Hmm. On second thoughts, you think it might just mean that you appreciate the fun things in life. 

“Sure,” you say, cheeks pinking at the thought of him in that white coat bending you over and taking out his frustrations on you. “One condition, though.” Crowley’s brow arches, a sultry smirk appearing on his face. “The coat stays.” 

“Your wish is my command, love,” he replied. “Back seat, then?” 

You nod, shocked at the casual nature of this exchange. It wasn’t something you were necessarily unused to, but there was usually a little more pent-up energy and flirting beforehand. However, getting straight to it wasn’t a bad thing either. It was kind of refreshing, actually. 

You get out of the car and go around to the driver's side. Crowley opens the back door for you and promptly bends you over into the back of the car. You gasp, your hands reaching out to steady you on the leather seats. 

Crowley slides his hand up your sundress, exposing your black panties to him. He groans, gripping at your ass before letting go and giving it a rough slap. You jolt forward with the shock. Crowley tuts and grips you by the hips to drag you back towards him. 

His hips ground against your ass roughly, his cock hardening beneath his pants. You bit your lip, enjoying the roughness of his clothes against your almost bare skin. Crowley laughed, reaching down to rip your panties off you. You let out a sound of protest, though Crowley shushed you. 

“Fix ‘em later, promise,” he assured you before tossing the ripped remains of your underwear over your head and into the other door. Any further protests died before they even formed thought as his fingers slid down over the curve of your ass and sunk themselves into your tight, wet heat. 

You moaned, thighs twitching as he fingered you open. If you weren’t wet before, you definitely were now. 

Crowley removed the fingers once he thought you were wet enough and presented them to you to clean off. You did so without complaint or question, sucking his fingers into your mouth, tongue swirling over the digits to clean them of your slick. 

Crowley grunted, the other hand undoing his pants and removing his cock from its confines. Once he was free, he pulled his fingers from your mouth, giving your cheek a little pat. The feel of the saliva cooling on your skin- the dirtiness of it- had you clenching. 

“Look at that,” he groaned, pressing his head against your entrance. “Sopping for me, aren’t you? Filthy thing, you are, Pet.” 

You nodded, pressing back against him. His head slipped inside, causing you both to groan. You with impatience, and he with pleasure. Crowley’s fingers gripped at your hips harshly as he slowly sunk inside you. Once he was finally inside you, you were finally able to relax. Feeling so full up on his cock felt like your version of Heaven. 

God, Crowley made you so cock-drunk that it was ridiculous.

Then, your Demon started to move, hips snapping back and forth with fervour. It wasn’t long before Crowley was bent over you, yanking your hips into his own with every thrust. You were scrabbling at the leather, cheek sticking to the seat with the sweat. Loud moans and sharp grunts could be heard coming from the car, and you hoped that no one was on this particular walking trail today. 

Then again, maybe you’d like an audience. The thought had you biting your lip to stifle the groan, and you clenched around the Demon, who straightened up and wrapped a hand into your hair. 

“Fuck, that’s it-” he growled, fucking into you harder. “Reach down there and play with that pretty clit for me, Pet. Mm- like that.” 

Your fingers reached your clit, rubbing tight circles. You could feel the push and pull of his cock from within you, could feel as your slick creamed around him. You cried out in sharp pleasure as he slapped your ass cheek again. 

“Are you going to cum already, Pet? Huh?” 

You nodded, the motion pulling at your hair just that little bit more. Crowley laughed loudly, fucking into you harder. 

“Better do it then,” he warned. “Come on, cum for me, Pet.” 

Your fingers were lightning quick on your clit. Your thighs were twitching and struggling to keep yourself up from Crowley’s punishing thrusts. With a loud drawn-out moan, you came. 

Crashing waves of chaotic pleasure roiled inside you. Your fingers crushed themselves into the leather as you felt your release roll through your muscles. Your clit felt like it was on fire as you forced yourself to concentrate hard enough to rub yourself through it, contracting around Crowley hard enough to make him cum. 

He grunted from above you, hips stuttering- and then you felt it. His release coating your walls. You whined, grinding yourself back against him as he started to slow. Crowley gave your hip a warning squeeze, but you ground yourself back on him, pressing him in as far as you could to make sure not a drop of his seed escaped you. 

You sighed with relief, fingers slowing to a stop on your clit. Crowley was hunched over you, panting with exertion. 

You laughed, the endorphins starting to kick in. Crowley chuckled breathily against your back and pressed a kiss to the fabric of your dress. 

“That was fun,” you said, unsticking your cheek from the seat. 

“Mm-” Crowley grunted in response. “Aziraphale will be jealous.” 

You don’t think you’re wrong in thinking he doesn’t seem all that upset about making the Angel jealous. 

“I think you’re right,” you pant back, slowly starting to catch your breath now. 

“Alright, come on,” he says, picking himself up and slowly pulling out of you, shushing you comfortingly when you whimper at the loss. “I know, Pet. Come on, let’s get you back to the Shop, eh? The Angel will be missing us by now.” 

You groan and force yourself to stand up. Your walls clench to keep Crowley’s seed inside. 

“Don’t miracle it away,” you say, knowing that Crowley was planning to do so for your ease of comfort. “You know how Zira likes his seconds.” 

Crowley tutted at you, a smirk playing across his lips. 

“Naughty thing, you are. Whatever are we going to do with you?” 

You hop into the passenger side again, your muscles thanking you for the relief. 

“Guess we’ll have to find out, won’t we?” 

“Guess so, love.”

[hilow]

did u know I bought a house in real life and also I live in it

[obstinatecondolement]

Calmly and quietly letting go of my feelings about discovering that Brennan Lee Mulligan apparently pronounces the name Oisin as "O'Sheen"

I forgive you, Brennan.

[inklingofadream]

Idk your horror tastes but Lake Mungo, Savageland (prime), Fresh, Oculus, (Hulu), Ouija 2, Hush, The Babysitter 1 & 2, Incantation, (Netflix) and Noroi the Curse is on YouTube for freesies and is way way too good. They took a ton off of Hulu recently :/ (rip Digging Up the Marrow)

most of the random "give me recs" responses will probably die in my to xyz files instead of being published (maybe) but i had to post this one bc 1) you absolutely do know my horror tastes lol, I've seen Lake Mungo, have Savageland on my to-watch list, and I LOVE Noroi: the Curse.

2) Sadly, though, it is no longer on youtube! It's a shudder exclusive... and they mean EXCLUSIVE. Nothing sadder than finding out you've sent your mother (over DVDs, doesn't like horror, DEFINITELY doesn't watch foreign language horror) searching for this movie on DVD or Bluray :( BUT! Occult (2009), by the same director, still is on yt. So if anyone following me wants recs... Noroi is better, imo, but Occult is still excellent.

Also, incidentally. if anyone noticed a pattern to my enthusiasm. Found footage horror in documentary form is not a common enough subsubgenre :( I have seen... almost every single one I can find listed as such. And at least half of them are Quite Bad, but so it goes. Except Savageland, bc I'm saving it for when I start a new knitting project.

[thecaroliner]

yeah hi guys how we feeling that totk basically confirms zelink are living together

[homegirllondon]

[flamingpen18]

The Cratchit

I'm watching A Christmas Carol with George C. Scott, my fave, and I keep wondering why the Cratchits kept having kids when they were so poor. The have 6 kids in ACC and can barely afford a goose for Christmas. Did it never occur to them to stop having kids after the first one when it was obvious they couldn't afford them? Or, was it simply a matter of poor budgeting and wasting money on nonsense?

[pokyo55]

Crol Commission

[notasapleasure]

'The Stand Up Comic’s Instructions' [...] is a noble attempt to tackle racism built around Lenny Henry’s fierce lampooning.

“I still think it’s a brilliant idea,” says Steve. “To get a black comedian to talk about that racist, Northern, working men’s club tradition. We did a Saturday night TV show presented by Lenny on LWT. He came on stage and started singing with us on 'You’re The Best Thing' and Paul hooked up with him later.”

Mick: “That was bizarre, it was a message that kind of worked. He was keen to be involved and it was us having a go at the mainstream. Alternative comedy was just an infant then – Jim Davidson, Bernard Manning they were immensely popular. We’d grown up playing working men’s clubs and it opened us up to the narrowmindedness that bred in some of them.”

(source)

[tafadhali]

When you mishear Daniel as saying “Look, Shirley Manson wrote a couple of beautiful songs” in ep 5 and now you’re obsessed with deciding what Garbage song you would vid IwtV to

[raz-writes-the-thing]

Good Toys (Good Omens Drabble)

Fem!Presenting!Crowley x Fem!Reader 18+ ONLY / requests are open and encouraged

Summary: Based on the prompt: “I am going to fuck every last thought out of this pretty head.”

CW: use of vibrators, dirty talk, mummy kink (im Australian, don't come after my spelling of mummy haha), oral (sorta), manhandling

Good Omens tag list: @coffee-and-red-lipstick @quickslvxrr @clarina04 @motionlessindoubt (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___

You’re shaking with the effort of holding yourself in position for her. Crowley has her mouth poised above your cunt, eyes glinting with mischief up at you. She’s got you holding your legs bent and apart for her. She’d said good toys did as they were told, and who were you to deny her? 

“Oh, look at that,” she whispers, licking a stripe up your clit. You jolt, thighs jerking with the strain. She just laughs. “I am going to fuck every last thought out of this pretty head.” 

You whimper, doing your damndest not to close your legs instinctually. You know that would just get you punished and all you really, really want is to cum. 

Crowley laughs again and presses a clitoral vibe against your bundle of nerves. You yelp, one knee sliding out from under your grip. You twist under her as Crowley tuts and moves up the bed to pin your legs apart with her own. She’s sitting up before you, red-painted nails trailing down the valley of your breasts and over your tummy. 

Her other hand doesn’t move except to turn the vibrator up, causing you to pant under her. Crowley pouts mockingly and turns the vibrator up a few more times. The intensity is almost too much and you know you’re not going to last long at all. 

“Aw, I thought we wanted to be good for me, Pet?” She pouts, cocking her head and playfully slapping one of your tits. You gasp, hips wriggling- though not as much as you’d like with the way she has you pinned beneath her so harshly. 

“I’m- I’m trying mummy-” 

Oh, and there it was. 

“Mummy, eh? Oh, sweetheart, you really are desperate, aren’t you?” 

Your eyes squeeze shut as Crowley turns the vibrator up to the max setting. 

“Cum for mummy right now, Pet. Be a good girl for me, mm?” 

And you do, hips bucking and keening off the bed as your orgasm rips through you. You cry out, fingers fisting at the bed sheets. Your chest rises and falls with the ragged breaths. Crowley turns the vibrator down but doesn’t turn it off, and through the praise and filthy comments- manages to make you cum again. 

“Fuck, there’s a good girl for Mummy. Yes darling, just like that.”

[hilow]

i am in I M M E N S E pain today

[obstinatecondolement]

I actually do fully cosign the sentiment that small talk is Good, Actually and my fellow autists who sneer at pro-social little rituals like talking about the weather are not as smart and above it all as they think they are for refusing to meet people halfway who are genuinely trying to connect with them, but!!! I really, really, really need people to stop asking me What I Do For A Living and What My Degree Is In. Because, fellas, that talk is not small! But it sure makes me feel small.

[avocado-writing]

Omggg i hear your requests are open again??? Yayyy so excited so excited. I’ve been thinking ab smth angsty with Crowley where the reader has serious abandonment issues and Crowley accidentally triggers them. I would love it to be angsty but fluffy at the end bc I don’t want Crol to be sad :(

Tysm and i hope you have a fucking great week💕✨

notes: a phenomenal meme, thank you. I hope reader seems in character enough for abandonment issues!

pairing: crowley x reader

rating: T

He’s gone, and you’re worried it’s forever.

He’s had to go and do some work. Some demon work. When the two of you properly began getting together he had to tell you about his true nature; you were surprised and secretly a bit thrilled because, well, how many people have a demon in love with them? It made you feel very special indeed. And Crowley does love you so very deeply, you’ve never had a love like it before. Which made it sting all the worse when he had to go.

You were bickering about him leaving. He had to go to bloody Spain to perform some sort of temptation, and he knew you couldn’t get the time off work to come with him. You were begging him to stay, he was insisting he couldn’t, and as neither of you could see the other’s point of view voices began to get raised. It ended with him leaving you in your flat, slamming the door behind him in frustration.

You’ve not seen him for a week. It’s been driving you mad. He’s gone, hasn’t he? He’s gone forever. Just like every other person who’s walked into your life with claims that they love you only to disappear when things got difficult. You are unloveable, you are not worthy of anyone’s time. You do not deserve to experience anything other than heartbreak.

When he comes home he knows he’ll need to apologise. It doesn’t come easily to Crowley, admitting that he’s wrong, but he’ll find a way to force it out of himself for your sake. He shouldn’t have left how he did. It was unkind. Petty. A relationship shouldn’t be about trying to get the last word in an argument, and he feels very small indeed.

He knocks at the door to your flat and, when it isn’t answered, he miracles the lock open and walks in. Maybe he can get started on dinner. Maybe coming home to the smell of cooking and him being all grovelly will make things better.

This plan is stopped in its tracks when he finds you curled up in a blanket on the sofa. You look terrible. Tired, miserable, and ever so small. You take one look at him and recoil.

“What do you –”

“I’m sorry,” Crowley says. It’s not forced or uncomfortable as it usually is when he’s made to apologise, but sincere. An apology is not a plaster, though, and you still look raw and wounded as he sits on the opposite end of the couch. You wince as he reaches out to touch you.

“I thought you weren’t coming back,” is all the explanation that you can muster.

“Oh, darling. I’m…” he wracks his brain for something that’s a suitable apology, but can come up with nothing better than another “I’m sorry.”

Tears begin to fall down your cheeks and you seem furious at them, wiping them away with the edge of your blanket, but still unable to get them to stop.

“I thought you were done with me. That you hated me.”

“Come here,” says Crowley, bundling you in his arms and pulling you onto his lap. You cry a little, at him, at yourself, at being so stupid. “I don’t hate you. I’d never hate you. I think it’s impossible, actually. I was just being a twat. I’ll even do the dance if you want me to.”

You laugh into his shirt and he’s relieved.

“No, keep that dance for Aziraphale. I think he’d be annoyed if he found out you did it for me.”

You look into his eyes, and he moves his sunglasses up so he can meet your gaze properly.

“Don’t leave me,” you whisper, voice trembling a little.

“I won’t. I swear.”

Taglist: @angiestopit @dazed-soul @foolishprincipalitee @smile-eywa @staygoldsquatchling02 @underratedboogeyman @specter-soltare @cool-ontherun-world @emilynissangtr @willbedecided @cool-iguana @this--is--music @ilyatan @lxsm2 @clarina04@wtfhasmy-lifecometo @mrgatotortuga@wereallbrokenangels @night-affiliate @kimqueenofhell @chewbrry @bajablast23 @h3k3t @am-i-obsessed---maybe @bakerstreethound

[inklingofadream]

Rn i have like 80% of a chapter for cult au beyond what i need to post in the morning, so hopefully that means once i stop failing at getting my mornings in order i can ALSO work a bit on other fics without feeling like im wasting mojo for that

Sadly this does mean that the reasoning behind the marble post is for FRIDAY. Im unreasonably happy about the marble bits

They are doing such violence to jonahs fancy floor

[ineffable-xenanigans]

my name is Crol

and wen its shite

becos my Fell

haz gone bye bye

and all the wine

haz gone as well

i go to sleep

i am in hell

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