#cs heart ache

[the-cs-oc-archives]

don't worry theyre totally fighting

and also!!!!!!!

A HeartAche for your trouble! @carmensandiegowritinngs

[blueeyesfilledwithpassion]

Aching & Longing

"The aching, and yet pleasurable, intense longing for a life that we cannot yet have but naturally and universally crave. It is the feeling of having lost something that we once had - giving us a sense of homesickness and discontent with the less-than-ideal world we currently find ourselves in."

C.S. Lewis

[pattysplaceofplaces]

I wanna know more about Amelia/Heart Ache! Can I ask for childhood headcannons or just any random bits of info lol 💕

Amelia/Heart Ache Childhood Headcanons 

[Author’s Note: I’m glad y’all’s are interested in her! Enjoy!!

Content Warning: Mentions of Child Neglect and Infidelity]

Amelia is the youngest sibling with four older brothers. 

Around the time of her birth her parent’s relationships was starting to get strained. Both of them used work as a way to avoid each other, unknowingly pushing away their children as well.

With no attention and nurture from her parents she didn’t learn how to talk until she was 6. 

Living in poverty meant that her brothers had to discard an education to work and keep the family afloat. 

Amelia didn’t go to school much either, no one had any time or interest in taking her. 

Children develop properly with attention, humans are social animals.

She didn’t much social interactions besides the old movie DVD’s she watched repeatedly.

She was very distant from most of her family besides her aunt, an odd, spiritual, and private woman who had a soft spot for her. 

There’s much to say other than Amelia looks suspiciously more like her aunt more than her mother. 

She has a lot of her aunts habits: Tapping her long nails on things, gritting her teeth when she’s pensive, muttering curses in Italian, even the way she holds a pencil. 

Yet her childhood wasn’t all doom and gloom. 

Amelia did go to middle school and she was a little terror. 

She tried to be a good girl, a nice student but when there’s a war there’s a way. 

She didn’t have many friends except a girl named Delilah. Delilah came from a rich family and didn’t talk much like her either. This time, it wasn’t something Amelia did that ruined a friendship as Delilah moved away, leaving her alone. 

Maybe there’s hope she’ll see her first and bestest friend again but for now she has to push that away. Any sort of weakness is bad.

[moechies]

giving older bsf toji a bj cs u dont have any money on u for gas 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

oh mi gosh. dis is absolutely so filthy ‘nd absolutely perfect for him . dis is how grimy he is in my mind.. (modern au where toji is RICH $$)

“toji.”

“hm, darling?” you look upon the questioning man sitting besides you, one strong hand that guides the steering wheel of your own car. he insisted to drive, and in what position would you say no? you’d never pass up an offer to be passenger princess.

“i-i forgot.”

“forgot what?”

“forgot money for gas, toji.”

“are ya dumb sweetheart? goin’ t’get gas n the one thing ya forgot is gas money?”

“‘m s-sorry toji, can you lend me? please? promise i won’t forget next time!”

he scoffs, knowing well that he would’ve paid nonetheless. but watching you nervously scramble yourself together, anticipating a response from him is too adorable, he thinks.

“yeah, but ya gotta pay me back.”

“course i will! gonna give it back as soon as we ge-“

“no sweetie. not with money.”

your head turns slow to the man, already shooting you a evil-intentioned smirk. his free hand comes down to scarce over the evident bulge that pokes through his sweats, indirectly instructing you.

“with your mouth, honey.”

he chuckles when your face flushes red, how unexpecting.

with over 3 years of close friendship, the man had assumed that you at least would’ve noticed; his stares that pierce into your skin, touches that linger a little too long, and the constant absence of your favorite panties. what a naive little thing you were; he loved it.

if you didn’t know his true intentions then, you’d definitely know now.

“c’mon, y’want me to fill it up right?”

“t-“

“the tank sweetie. the car. don’t you want gas?”

you huff when he chuckles at your flustered expression. your small fingers dance across his bulge, his own hand messily slipping under the band of his sweats, releasing himself. he can’t help the smile that spreads across his face when you gasp, fawn like eyes that immediately shoot up to meet his gaze.

“s-so big..”

“mm, you think so?” he teases.

his hand slithers to the back of your head, fingers playing with one or two strands of your hair.

“c’mon, be good..”

he smiles at you coyly, desperate even, and it makes your heart and your cunt clench.

with slight pressure from the man’s hand, you find yourself lowering onto the tip of his cock. your puffy lips press against the warm slit, an immediate groan that spills from his lips,

“no action recently?” you tease, facing him with a slight smile,

“shaddup princess. yer lucky you’re cute.”

you snicker, separating your slicked up lips to wrap around the thick of his cock head. your tongue presses against the slit once again, tasting the sweet substance that coats his dewy slit; more that spews from the teasing licks.

“don’t t-tease.”

you hold yourself further onto his cock to accommodate his length, a light gag that elicits from your throat. tears brim in your eyes when you feel your jaw begin to ache, but the needy man pays no mind when he begins thrusting into your warmth.

oh and when he feels a warm tear fall onto the skin of his thigh, he nearly cums.

“heh.. there you go, see? ya can do it.”

you hum around him, the light sensation that drills right through his sensitive cock.

“g-gunna cum. shit.”

and with a few shallow thrusts, his cum brims. it’s warm, and thick, but you swallow without a second thought. you pull yourself off to meet your eyes with his, vision daisy and face fumed with a sweet blush once again.

“hah.. gonna have to fill you up, darling. we’ll worry about the car later, kay?”

[jnkgrnde]

— dating hc’s, clarisse la rue, pjo

summary — dating hc’s w pookie

pairings — clarisse la rue x black!fem!reader (daughter of apollo)

authors note — some of this is inspired by a clarisse fanfic i read the other day w a child of apollo reader ☝🏾

⭑ alr first things first y’all r the definition of black cat gf + golden retriever gf WALK W ME!

⭑ like when u first got to camp clarisse was v.. she thought u were different but in a good way.

⭑ she expected u to act like how an apollo kid would except u were like 5x sunshinier and smilier.

⭑ when u decided to hang out w her more often after u arrived people were starting to question things

⭑ like how clarisse wasn’t throwing you in the lake

⭑ the only reason she hadn’t done that yet was because she was starting to like having you around, even if she didn’t act like it

⭑ you’d talk to her about your day, spar w her, etc etc

⭑ that was up until the night you realized you liked her more than friends

⭑ you were pacing around your cabin, biting your nails anxiously; when you got to camp, you decided to read about your father, and that included all of his tragedies family wise and love wise.

⭑ you didn’t want to continue that tradition, so you came down to the decision of avoiding clarisse entirely.

⭑ it started becoming noticeable after about two or three days.

⭑ clarisse was more irritable, and people noticed you weren’t around her as much. a lot of the time you’d write in your journal about it.

⭑ whenever you were at the archery range, you’d up and leave as soon as you saw clarisse.

⭑ she wasn’t happy about this

⭑ this had been going on for what felt like forever; clarisse trying to subtly look for you, and whenever she found you you always managed to leave as soon as she was approaching.

⭑ she would’ve never admitted this to anybody, but she missed you. how you would talk non stop about your day and always ask how hers was going. she missed the way you would get shy whenever she called you sunshine because of your descent.

⭑ she ended up having enough when she called out for you at the archery range and you blatantly ignored her, which is how you two got where you are right now

“y/n!”

you cursed to yourself as you started walking the opposite direction, not even bothering to put your bow down.

she didn’t let you go this time, running up to you to turn you around. you had a slight look of anger and fear on your face, and it hurt clarisse to see you look at her like everyone else does.

“why are you avoiding me?” you avoided her eyes. you weren’t really prepared for what would’ve happened when or if she decided to approach you. “is there something you wanted to tell me? any explanation? at all?” she persisted. “i just- it’s hard to talk about, clarisse.” clarisse frowned. you almost never used her full name. “it’s just me, sunshine. just you and me.”

you breathed deep to calm your aching heart. “i like you.”

clarisse stood dumbfounded. “what?” “i have a crush on you, and i was scared to tell you because of my dad and his history with love. i didn’t want to possibly get you killed all because i loved you.” clarisse looked at you for a moment then put her lips with yours.

her hand found your waist as you gripped her forearm. why and since when was she a good kisser? it was getting heated so you pulled away. “why did you do that?” you asked her breathlessly. “we have more of a chance of dying solely because we’re demigods. if i have to die early, i’d rather die knowing me and you were together through everything.” you nodded. “okay.” you whispered out.

“okay?” she repeated. she looked at you with so much love held in her eyes. “okay.” you started grinning.

⭑ let me wrap this up before it gets too long lmao

⭑ to reiterate what i said earlier, yall are the definition of black cat gf + golden retriever gf

⭑ whether its in capture the flag or just strolling around the campgrounds, clarisse is very protective of you

⭑ i’d like to believe she would steal some of ur lotion n stuff cs u got GOOD stuff don’t ask me how i know

⭑ you’d also help eachother out w ur hair like braiding them for games etc etc

⭑ she loved ur voice btw. like u had a naturally pretty voice bc of ur dad, so she’d love to hear u talk. bonus points if ur one of those ppl who sing peoples names instead of js saying them normally

⭑ it took her a minute to get used to it, but atp she does not care about pda; she’s showing u off whether u like it or not

⭑ okay thats it clarisse is my girlfriend #confirmed

[slytherinboysappreciation]

JEGRNEISUB smoker mattheo riddle x non smoker gn/male reader who start dating but since reader doesn't smoke they try to force mattheo to stop smoking by not kissing him on the lips

Like imagine him wanting to kiss you on the lips since before y'all started dating and now that he's dating you he can't cs he smokes and you hated kissing your smoker ex before you met him AND whenever you dobkiss him it's always on the corner of his lips and he tries to turn his head but you stop all contact and he js whines and begs but you stand your ground until he goes cold turkey

Cold turkey mattheo is always jittery and annoyed to the point his friends are complaining about him to you but mattheo finaly gets his kisses from you and he just thinks "damn this was worth it"

Now everytime he gets a nicotine craving he je kisses you HELPEHELPEHELP

(You should totally write this *winks*)

(No pressure though)

Smoker - M. R. x gn!Reader

A/N: Thank you so much for the request!! I hope this is what you were wanting! I’m sorry about the ending; I’ve been on a streak of not knowing how to end fics well, apparently.

Fic is entirely unedited with no use of Y/N. Please let me know if I missed tagging something!!! Gif found on Pinterest here

CW: Lots of mentions of smoking and cigarettes; one mention of getting high; one mention of future death due to smoking; mentions of reader’s ex; mentions of kissing; kissing; angst, I guess??; pet names; Mattheo’s puppy eyes; begging; Theo gets rather frustrated in this; annoyed words towards reader; cursing; mentions of complaining; lots of kissing at the end; Mattheo being soft

1493 words

You’ve been dating Mattheo for almost a week now, and you’re getting tired of his smoking habits.

Since before you began dating, you’ve done everything you can to dissuade him from the habit. Everything aside from going and throwing away his stash yourself, that is.

But it’s no use. Theo chainsmokes like he’s planning his early death, and Enzo gets high every other day. Neither of them are much help when it comes to getting Mattheo to quit.

It’s not that you hate the smoking itself; it’s that you hate the smell. The lingering stench of acrid smoke that follows Mattheo no matter how many times he brushes his teeth or changes his clothes.

It lingers in his hair. On his skin.

It disgusts you. Your ex had been a smoker and the stench of cigarettes had followed him everywhere. Now the smell reminds you of him and his horrid habits.

You don’t want Mattheo to be connected to such a person, but he won’t listen to you when you beg him to quit.

So you resort to drastic measures.

It starts after class. Mattheo and Theo head off to go smoke, leaving you to hatch your plans.

And oh what a good plan you hatch.

It’s simple, really. But you’re pretty sure it’ll be effective. After all, there’s nothing Mattheo loves more than kissing you.

He returns with just enough time to walk you to your next class. You chat idly as you walk, going on about the new music album Pansy had shared with you. Mattheo nods along, smiling as he listens to you talk.

When you reach your class, Mattheo leans in for a kiss like he normally does, but you turn your head. His kiss lands on your cheek, rather than your lips.

He pulls back, startled and confused. “Babe?”

“Hmm?” You go to head into class, but he grabs your arm.

“What’s wrong?” He looks so concerned, his puppy eyes already starting to show.

“Nothing’s wrong.” You lean up and kiss his cheek. Mattheo tries to turn his head to catch your lips but you pull back.

“See you after class, Matty.”

“But…” He trails after you. “Did I do something?”

Your heart aches. Why does he have to look so pitiful when he’s sad?

“Matty…”

“Mr Riddle.” It’s your professor, looking vaguely annoyed. “Last time I checked you weren’t in this class.”

Mattheo opens his mouth to reply, but you cut him off by kissing his cheek again. “I’ll talk with you after class. I promise.”

He wilts a bit, still giving you his sad puppy eyes. But, slowly, he turns and leaves the classroom.

You take your seat, already feeling miserable. This plan is going to be harder than you thought.

Mattheo ambushes you after class is over. He’s there at the door, grabbing your arm and hauling you along after him. A small handpicked bouquet of flowers is stuffed into your hands.

“Matty, what the—“

He pulls you into an empty classroom and turns to face you, giving you the saddest puppy eyes you’ve ever seen. “What did I do, baby? Whatever it was, I’m sorry.”

Your heart aches. With a sigh, you set down the flower bouquet on a desk and reach out to cup his face in your hands. “You didn’t do anything, love.”

“Then why won’t you let me kiss you?” He leans in, as if to try right then.

You pull back a bit, covering his mouth with your hand. You take a deep breath and gather your courage. “I don’t like it when you smoke, Matty.”

His brow furrows, but you continue. “I’ve tried everything I can, but you just won’t listen. So, until you stop smoking, I’m not going to kiss you anymore.”

Mattheo stares at you. He pulls your hand away from his mouth. “What?”

You fiddle with a curl of his hair, doing your best to hold his gaze. “No more kisses until you stop smoking.”

“But— But—“ He gapes at you in disbelief. “You— You can’t do this!”

You cross your arms, hoping you sound more stern than you feel. “I can and I am.”

“But, my kisses!”

“You can have your kisses after you stop smoking.”

Mattheo looks desperate. “Babe. Baby. My love. Come on. Please, it’s just— Smoking’s not even that big of a deal!”

“It is to me,” you say firmly. Inside, you’re dying; melting at his puppy eyes and distressed look.

“Baby, baby, please.” He takes your hands in his, giving you a pleading look. “Please don’t do this. I love your kisses.”

You can’t bear to hold his gaze any longer so you look away. “I know you do. That’s why I’m doing this. Maybe you’ll finally quit.”

“But—“

“I’ve made up my mind, Mattheo, and you’re not going to change it,” you say firmly. His expression crumples.

It hurts too much, so you gently pull your hands from his.

“I’ll see you later.” You give him a kiss on the corner of his lips. He doesn’t react, just gives you a morose stare.

You sigh and turn away. Surely, he’s just being dramatic? There’s no way this plan will work, right?

Wrong.

It takes Mattheo a week to give up his cigarettes. A week of whining and bemoaning and complaining.

A week of sad puppy eyes everytime you give him a kiss on his cheek or on the corner of his lips. A week of dodging his head turns and sneak kisses.

It’s just as painful for you as it is for him.

But, finally, he quits.

You make him wait three more days.

By the second day, Theo comes to you, scowling. “You’ve turned him into a damn right menace, you know that?”

You’re in the middle of doing your Charms homework, and have to pause to answer him. “What do you mean?”

“He’s as jittery and as pissed off as I’ve ever seen him. He nearly punched me in the face for suggesting he chill out.”

You blink. “He’s… Oh, from the withdrawal.”

“Yeah, from the withdrawal,” Theo says sarcastically. “You’ve turned him into a menace!”

You cross your arms. “Maybe if you hadn’t gotten him addicted, he wouldn’t be so cross right now.”

“It’s just a few bloody cigarettes a day!” Theo snaps back. “What’s it to you?”

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t—“ Theo cuts himself off and sighs. “Bloody hell. You’re almost as bad as he is.”

“Hey!”

“I mean it in a good way,” he amends. “You’re stubborn as hell and fight for what you want. I can see why he likes you so much.”

You scowl, but let him go without comment.

More of Mattheo’s friends try complaining to you about him, but find you wholly unsympathetic. You’re firm in your stance about Mattheo quitting, much to their frustration.

But it’s all worth it when you finally let Mattheo have his kisses.

You’re expecting the bombardment of kisses from Mattheo. You’re not expecting the genuine relief in his expression when you kiss him on the lips again.

He sighs happily and gives you a dreamy look. “Merlin, I love your lips. I’d give up cigarettes a thousand times for your kisses.”

Your cheeks heat. “Matty…”

“Nuh-uh.” He leans in to kiss you again. And again. And again. “I get to have my special time with your lips. No denying my compliments allowed.”

You laugh softly and melt into his next kiss. “Alright. I suppose I can deal with that.”

Mattheo just grins into the kiss and pulls you closer.

For the next few days after your reconciliation, Mattheo is incessant about kissing you.

It’s immediately after class, during study sessions, after meals, and before bed. Anytime he can get his hands on you, his mouth finds yours.

It’s only when Pansy makes a comment about it that you finally think to ask Mattheo about it.

You’re studying in your room with him. Well, you’re studying; he’s pressing soft kisses to your cheek and jaw.

“Are you really that obsessed with kissing me?”

Mattheo leans in to kiss your cheek again. “Always, babe.”

You nudge him, smiling. “No, be serious. Not that I mind it, but you’ve been very clingy these past few days. Why?”

He hums and nuzzles along your jawline. “I get these cravings. Every time I used to smoke. But I quit, so now I kiss you instead.”

You pause, pulling away to properly look at him. Your gaze is soft, affectionate. “You… You keep from smoking again… by kissing me?”

He blushes a bit and leans in to give you a kiss on the lips. “Well, yeah…”

“That’s actually kinda cute.”

“I’m glad you think so,” he chuckles.

“So, does it work? Kissing me?”

“Yeah, but…” he smirks. “I should probably try again, you know, just to make sure.”

You make no protest when he kisses you deeply. He deserves it, after all.

And not just for his smooth comment.

[fishsinsareacknowledged]

Young, Nikto x Reader -sfw, light angst

Nikto who you used to date in your early twenties, in the middle of his career at least. That's what he says before he dissapears for a whole decade, showing back up at your door so different yet so similar.

I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM GRRRRR RGRRRRRRRGRRRAAAA GRRRRR Oh also tw shitty google translated because I do NOT want to log into CS and finding someone to talk to just to find out how to write this bitch

×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

What was his name again? You couldn't even remember it's been so long since you've ever called him it either way. Countless voice calls, missing person reports, hell, you even went to his base just to get laughed at like you were insane, looking for nobody. Nikto, that's who he was to you, a nobody, long forgotten yet the memory of him burns in your heart.

You missed him for a while decade, finding new lovers and so forth but no one loved like him, your missing half.

Gone yet he burned and seared and stabbed and fucking carved a hole in your heart.

And now he was back. The Nikto was back, just as he was before, a nobody, showing up at your door uninvited like a stray, unknown to you, a stranger and yet one you recognize all the same, a mask over his face yet you could already recognize who was behind that bolted shut mask.

Eyes wide with recognition and hope in his crinkled eyes that made you sick to your core, a childlike glee mixed with nostalgic love in his eyes that made your heart burn.

"Pozhaluysta-", the first words he spoke, Please, and it was all he could say before you shut the door on his face, tears already stinging your eyes as you backed away from the door, ignoring the slow, deliberate knocks as if he wasn't trying to scare you off.

And just like that, that nobody- that stranger shaped hole in your heart started to ache again.

Started to ache for him, yet again, a decade too late.

"Leave", and those were the first words you spoke once your tears stopped, hours later and yet one glance through the peephole would show you the same man, standing right on your doorway as if he lived there, he didn't move an inch.

A purple bouquet of flowers were held in his hands as if they belonged there and you stood there for what felt like ages, observing him, making sure he was real, telling him to leave once again just as the sun began to set.

The way the sun reflected from your door to his mask all the way down to the bouquet and his large yet tight fitting black coat just made him look...young. Just like the young man you once dated, like the young one you once were. Together.

It made him look like he belonged there- belonged with you, and it made you sick, stomach tightening until your knees were weak as you leaned against the door.

"Leave...please", you called out for what felt like the hundredth time, calling out for him. To come back home, to marry you just like he'd promised and yet he was finally back, so fucking late.

And he spoke, that voice that you can pick out pieces from in your memory, rougher than you remember but that comes with age, you rationalize as he steps even closer to the door as if he fucking owned it.

Well..he did, his card was on the house when he helped you buy it, but then again. He's been missing for far too long that he's been long legally dead.

"Moy lyubov'...please..let me in", he begged. He begged, fuck. He's changed, no longer the cocky, rough around the edges boy you used to date, it's been years, of course he's changed. He's your age, older by a few, he's a man now. Or should be.

Still rough around the edges yet like a knife he'll only point you the blade for you to wield. It's always been like that, giving you the trigger. The man once a weapon, a gun, loud and destructive turned steel, a sharp blade, your knife to carve out anything you want of him.

Your hand betrayed your mind, pushing down on the doorknob as you froze for a moment, looking at him through no barriers, pure and true and bigger than life.

"Why?-", you tried to ask for so many things. Why did you finally come back? Why a decade too late? Why did you leave me? Why, why, why, why. So many unanswered questions and yet he wasn't a man of his words.

Hands firm and rough as they push the door open wide, slamming it against the wall as he took in his chance. Entering your once shared space as his eyes hungrily took you in, closing the door with a simple kick of his foot before his mask pressed against your face.

The cold metal kissed your lips as his arms wrapped around your waist and back all the way to your shoulders. Eyes wide with recognition and mirth as you felt his hand grip your hip, pressed so tightly against him as if he never wanted to separate.

Masterlist

The message was clear, you were his again, once again. And forever. There would be no escape from something you never ran from.

××××××××××××××××××××××x x××××××××××××××××××××××

[323cutie]

take my soul, take my heart. | cs

pairing ୨୧ san x reader

word count ୨୧ 700

genre ୨୧ suggestive... fluff? lol is sexy a genre... is being horn knee for san a genre...

warnings ୨୧ mentions of sex, reader is implied to be a bit tipsy

author's note ୨୧ i need him and i need to do things to him and i need him to do things to me (blind is my most listened to ateez song)

18+ mdni!

It’s a vibrant night.

The middle of summer is unforgiving, but still kind with the way she gives you warm, comfortable nights. Crickets sing outside in time with the music in the bar, a chorus of youth and heat, a dance of love and excitement. Your eyes glow under the low lights, fitting in perfectly with the weightlessness of your limbs, the bass thrumming in your bones.

You don’t know how long the band has been on stage, but you know the singer has been looking at you their whole set.

He’s pretty. Warm and languid when he looks at you, passion lacing the edges of his voice when he sings. Your friends’ chatter slowly fades away, caught up in the sweetness of your drink and the kind, smouldering eyes of the stranger on stage.

He finds you soon after – at least, you think; he slides into the space beside you at the bar, eager but poised. You turn your full attention to him and he smiles, pretty dimples taking shape. He fits in so easy, warm and humid and bright. “Can I buy you another?” He asks, pointing to your empty glass.

You shake your head, do nothing to hide your gaze as you take him in. “Think I’m done for the night,” you answer. “Will you tell me your name?”

He grins, leans forward until he’s closer to you. One of his arms rests across the back of your chair, and you can’t help the fire that spreads through you when you catch the faint smell of his cologne, woody and floral and masculine. Once he seems to decide he’s close enough to you, his voice is a gentle baritone as he says, “San.”

It’s just his name, but you feel it wash over you like a wave. San’s eyes hold a question that you answer with your own name, and your voice seems to have the same effect on him – somehow, under the constant chatter of the full bar and the familiar beat of a song you’ve never heard, it feels like you’re in your own world with him. Barely touching, a whisper away, surrounded by midsummer heat.

“Do you dance?” He asks. 

You don’t even have to think about your answer. “With you, I do,” you respond. San grins, pretty dimples and all, then holds his hand out to you.

The dance floor is alive, and you and San find a spot in the middle of it all. You don’t usually dance, but you don’t usually get approached by people like San, either – but your footsteps match with his easily. You feel warm, burning, letting him pull you to his chest, then letting you go in a spin full of colors and laughter. The songs blur together until they slow enough for you to gather San in your arms, guiding his hands to your waist.

“Your voice is beautiful,” you tell him. There’s more, but you think he knows. His skin is golden and you want to see it under the moonlight, against your hands, pressed into your sheets. 

San laughs, and you think his ears are pink. “Yeah?” He asks, and you know it’s rhetorical, but you nod along anyways. “I’ll sing for you all night, then, hm?”

You preen, take half a step closer to him like the heat doesn’t matter. San lets you, pulls you to him, breathes you in. You wonder how he’ll sing for you – later, outside, walking you home, sweet like honey? Pressed against your front door, wound up and free, melodies bouncing off the walls of your hallway? Or maybe into your pillows, lyrics breathed into your skin, sucked into bruises on your thighs? 

It won’t take long, you think. The stars glimmer in his eyes but their focus switches to your lips, your neck. You feel like you’re standing outside midday, overwhelmed with something white hot. San’s fingers twitch at your waist like they’re aching and you want nothing more than to ease the pain.

You exhale, push closer, chest to chest. San sighs when your fingers play with the delicate chain around his neck.

“You’ll walk me home?” You ask, though you already know the answer. 

“Of course,” San says, eyes bright. He’s already inching towards the exit, and you follow. “I’ll take you anywhere, honey, just tell me where to go.”

Your heartbeat pounds in your ears as you lead him out of the bar, into the hazy street, fingers intertwined like fate. He sings for you here, true to his word, and his voice meshes beautifully with the fire in your heart and the desire both of you share.

[jjoongstar]

❝LOLA'S LIBRARY❞✰.｡.✵°✵,¸.•✵´

my personal list of all of my fav fics that i really love and would like to reread again for fun. i'll always continue to add more on this list. NONE OF THESE WOKRS ARE MINE!!!

smut🔥| fluff ☁️| angst 💧| most fav & highly rec❤️‍🔥

★¸.•☆•.¸★ ATEEZ ★⡀.•☆•.★

love you goodbye 🔥💧[psh] breakup sex, i legit cried

intertwined☁️[psh] mermaid y/n, siren seonghwa

sleep talker🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[psh] enemies to lovers, one bed trope, vacation au, love the tension & plot

royal library🔥☁️[psh] royalty au, plot twist, legit ult fav, mak lurve giler

(not so) sweet dream☁️[psh] very fluffy, snuggling hihihshs

Red Dress🔥☁️[psh] enemies to lovers, amazing plot

You Come First🔥☁️[psh] drug dealer, dom!hwa went too far, y/n used safe word

Make Me Water🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[psh] friends to lovers, lots of giggling

prefect and t(h)reats🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[psh] harry potter au, slytherin hwa x hufflepuff y/n

I Know It's Over☁️💧❤️‍🔥[psh] historical au, tragic ending, cliche storyline but i cried anyways

The General's Wife☁️❤️‍🔥[psh] possessive military general husband hwa

The Way To His Heart (series)☁️💧❤️‍🔥[psh] joseon era, general sh, arranged marriage, amazing plot, scrumptious storyline, sngt lurve gilerr frr

She's a regular here... (pt.1)🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[psh] drug dealer, legit fav, trilogy

Use me like a drug! (pt.2)🔥☁️[psh]

Baby we're high on you. (pt.3)🔥☁️[psh, khj]

opposite attracts🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[psh,khj] addams!matz, love the plot

One Day At A Time☁️💧[psh, jyh] royal au, most heartbreaking fic ever, i legit cried ffs, there's comfort at the end

mafia☁️[khj, jwy] mafia au, love the part where she slept on hj's bed

pretty🔥[khj] pure steamy smut, no plot

training wheels🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[khj] prof hj x student y/n, taught her how to suck his cock, ft. woo

Ugh, As If🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[khj] ult fav, y/n has insomnia & he helped her , sngt lurve yurr

Loyalties☁️[khj] criminal hj x detective y/n, love the chemistry, had me giggling, kinda reminds me of sanzu

Dreamy (series)🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[khj] dilf hj, bestie sh's daughter, legit ult fav ever, literally drooling, i love this sm istg, the best one ever, they finally fuck at pt. 6

5:04 am☁️[smg] he help lulled her to sleep

just between friends🔥❤️‍🔥[smg, jyh] pure filthy smut, love all the consents

principia (pt.1)🔥☁️[jyh] prof yuyu x student y/n, got my heartbeat racing

opticks (pt.2)🔥☁️[jyh]

Teacher's Pet🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[jyh] college au, prof yuyu x student y/n, heavy angst (my heart ached sm, i legit cried), "it reopened wounds it never healed", (will reread when i feel like hurting myself again)

outlaw🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[jyh] cowboy yuyu x bartender y/n, amazing plot

cry for me🔥[jyh] pure smut, crying kink, aftercare

whichever way🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[jwy, cs] threesome, has plot, amazing chemistry, kinky

Hardcore🔥☁️💧❤️‍🔥[cjh] teacher jh x student y/n, heartbreaking frr, "you like me...but you love her-", the other women

oh shit, are we in love?🔥☁️[cjh] romcom, college au, bestie to lovers, virgin jh

Ateez Reactions: When You Use Safeword🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[ot8] tbh, idk how to desc this cuz i like seeing them immediately changed from rough & full in lust to soft & concerned

boyfriend!ateez discovering you write smut☁️[ot8] fake text, they're just so funny i giggles too much & accidently banged my head on the wall

★¸.•☆•.¸★ SEVENTEEN ★⡀.•☆•.★

emails i can't send💧[ot13] istg its so devastatingly heartbreaking, highly rec to read during the bloody season

step by step☁️[jww] softie but they were talking bout sex tho

the wolf and the fox☁️[kmg] spy au, the tension btwn the two tho

★¸.•☆•.¸★ P1HARMONY ★⡀.•☆•.★

cinnamon banana pancakes☁️[keeho] soft, fluffy, making breakfast

★¸.•☆•.¸★ OTHERS ★⡀.•☆•.★

idk which category these should go, so i'll place them here:

the better man🔥☁️[san, mingyu] threesome, college au, they fight for y/n

seeing double🔥☁️❤️‍🔥[seonghwa, wonbin] college au, red flag fwb hwa, soft shy wonbin

dividers are by @roseraris

[wholoveseggs]

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do an Elijah x reader with period sex😭 i can’t find one and i really wanna read something about Elijah during that time of the month🙏

Bloodier Bath

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}

Aunt Flo comes to visit and the noble Elijah once again stands up to the bitch.

♡♡ Thank you for the request sweet anon! The first fic I ever wrote was Bloodbath & it has a special place in my heart! It's what inspired me to start writing in the first place! This is obviously a vampires favorite thing to do... and it's crazy there isn't more fics on it!!! ♡♡

2.7k words - Warnings: smuttt, oral sex, period sex, so much fluff, Elijah being sweet and caring...

@gorgeouslydangerous @starkleila @lydia1369sworld @notleylaaa @vampiresluv

@myanmy @xflowerbombxo @maryvibess @always-and-forever-daydreaming

@spnaquakindgdom @amournoir @meeom @damienmorton @wickedmuse

@cs-please @complicatedandconfusing-25 @youcanhavemybuckanyday @akala6670229 @yeaiamme2

@itsjulzandmydiamonds @spideysbabe @witch-of-letters @elijahstwink @rosecentury

@amanda08319 @starshipcookie @li-da-savage @veggie-eggrolls @spideybv28

@sunkissedebony97 @idk00sblog @savannaounana @sekaishell @b1tchy

@loving-and-dreaming @fancycassie-stayfancy @hcqwxrtss123 @iamawkwardandshy @ziayamikaelson

@absolutemarveltrash @darkened-writer

You woke up feeling like shit, a dull ache radiating throughout your body. You knew exactly what it was, but actually moving from the comfort of the bed to confirm was a different story.

A quiet groan escaped you, the mere thought of the day ahead exhausting. You could feel the pain of the cramps radiating through you, the feeling of the sheets and clothes on your skin uncomfortable and irritating.

Your boyfriend stirred next to you, his warm hands reaching out and pulling you into him. Elijah let out a yawn, and he pressed a kiss to the side of your head, his arms wrapped protectively around you.

"Morning," he said softly.

"Morning," you replied, snuggling against him.

You wanted to stay close, but you felt too warm and uncomfortable. With a heavy sigh, you untangled yourself from his arms, rolling out of bed and going to the bathroom.

You turned the shower on, stepping under the warm spray and letting the water soothe you. The steam from the shower filled the air, and you closed your eyes, enjoying the relaxing sensation.

When the water turned cold, you reluctantly got out and dried off. You wrapped a towel around your body, and as you walked out of the bathroom, you saw a tray waiting on the bed. Elijah had gotten up and made breakfast, complete with a fresh cup of coffee and a heating pad.

He was propping up the pillows for you, arranging them just right so you could lay back comfortably. He flashed a small, knowing smile as he noticed you in the doorway, watching him.

"Thought you could use a little pampering this morning," he said softly, his eyes meeting yours.

"What I need is for you to kindly rip out my ovaries," you grumbled, the cramps making you extra moody.

"How about I start with the heating pad?" He offered, motioning for you to join him on the bed.

"Thank you," you said, walking over and climbing onto the bed. He helped you get comfortable, placing the heating pad on your stomach and wrapping a blanket around you.

You picked up the mug of coffee and took a deep sip, groaning softly as the warm liquid slid down your throat. "This is perfect, Lijah, thank you," you said, setting the mug back down on the nightstand.

"Are you going to work today?" He asked, gently stroking your hair.

You let out a sigh, not really wanting to face the day. "Probably not, I feel too miserable," you said, resting your head on his chest.

"Take the day off, relax, and do whatever makes you feel better," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

"I can't do nothing," you protested.

"Yes, you can," he countered, a stern look on his face. "And you will, if I have to tie you down to keep you here."

You laughed softly, knowing that he would actually do it. "Ok, fine," you said, settling into his embrace.

He was so sweet and considerate, taking care of you. His gentle nature and soft words made the pain subside, and you relaxed, closing your eyes and letting the warmth wash over you.

You spent the day in bed, watching movies and talking, enjoying each other's company. He was always so attentive and thoughtful, making sure you were comfortable and had everything you needed.

As the day drew to a close, you started to feel better, the pain fading and your mood changing. You wanted to reward Elijah for being so sweet and supportive, and you had the perfect idea.

You reached over and cupped his cheek, turning his head so he was looking at you. "Thank you for taking such good care of me today," you said, pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"Of course, I'm happy to do it," he said, brushing a stray hair from your face.

"I want to make it up to you," you murmured, giving him a suggestive look.

He smiled, the lines around his eyes crinkling. "Oh? And how would you do that?" He asked, playing along.

"I have a few ideas," you said, sliding your hand down his chest and between his legs, rubbing him through his pants.

You watched as his pupils dilated, his arousal growing. "Is that so?" He asked, his voice dropping an octave.

"Mmhm," you hummed, leaning in and kissing him deeply. He returned the kiss, his hands finding your waist and pulling you closer.

You broke the kiss and moved lower, kissing along his jaw and neck, biting his earlobe gently. He groaned, his grip tightening on you.

You smirked, loving the way he reacted to your touch. All you wanted to do was show him just how grateful you were, and you knew just the way to do it.

You loved how he looked when he was turned on, his normally calm and collected demeanor replaced by one of lust and need. You kissed your way down his chest, pausing at his waistband.

But to your surprise, he stopped you, placing a finger under your chin and tilting your head up. You sat up, pouting a little, wondering what you did wrong.

In one sudden, swift move, he grabbed your waist and flipped you onto your back, hovering over you.

"As much as I appreciate the thought, that's not exactly what I want," he said, his voice a low rumble.

"Oh?" You asked, arching a brow. "And what is it that you want, then?"

He smiled, his eyes roaming over your body, then he leaned down and kissed you, his lips soft and insistent. You returned the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck.

As he kissed you, his hand moved to the hem of your shirt, slowly pushing it up. His fingertips brushed against your skin, sending a shiver through you.

"Oh, I see," you giggled, the realization dawning on you. "You like me when I'm messy and bloody, don't you?"

He chuckled, a low sound that sent heat straight to your core. "Don't make me admit it out loud," he teased, nipping at your neck.

You smiled, tilting your head to the side, giving him better access. "Admit what? That you like fucking me when I'm on my period? Such a filthy vampire... " You taunted, running your hands through his hair.

Elijah growled, his hands tightening on your hips. "Keep talking like that, and I'll show you exactly what I want," he threatened, his voice rough with desire.

You couldn't help but laugh, loving how he could go from soft and caring to dangerous and possessive. "Oh, I'm counting on it," you said, tugging his hair.

His dark eyes flashed, and he surged forward, claiming your mouth in a bruising kiss. He didn't waste any time, his hands moving to your underwear, pulling them down and tossing them aside.

"Eli- I was kidding... I'm gross right now... " You protested, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious.

"Not to me," he replied, kissing his way down your body. He paused at your lower belly, looking up at you with a smirk.

His vampire nature, usually hidden so well, was peeking through. His eyes had turned completely black, with dark veins under his eyes, his fangs visible behind his parted lips.

You couldn't help but shiver at the sight, a mix of fear and arousal coursing through you. "Elijah... " You breathed, not entirely sure what to say.

He gave you one last look, then dipped his head down, his tongue darting out and swiping over your folds.

You gasped, the sensation sending a wave of pleasure through you. Elijah's tongue was skilled, knowing just where to lick and suck, his hands gripping your thighs. You were already so sensitive, and his actions sent sparks through you.

Elijah worked his tongue inside of you, lapping up your blood and juices, drinking every drop. It was messy, and there was a small puddle of blood on the sheets, but neither of you cared.

Your body tensed and the cramps returned, but in a different way, because you knew once he was done, they'd be gone for a while. Your moans grew louder as the pleasure built, and your legs began to shake.

He hummed happily, his mouth and nose pressed against your center. He was in complete bliss, having his cake and eating it too. There was truly nowhere else he would rather be.

The feeling was amazing, and you couldn't hold back anymore. Your orgasm hit you, and your back arched off the bed, a string of curse words escaping you.

He groaned as you came, your taste flooding his mouth. He was relentless, keeping his pace and holding you down as you writhed beneath him.

Finally, the aftershocks faded, and you slumped back against the pillows, panting heavily. Elijah placed a few kisses on your inner thighs before sitting up, licking his lips.

His face was covered in blood, he looked utterly insane and you burst out laughing at the sight. Your perfectly composed, always clean and tidy boyfriend was now a bloody mess.

He leaned down to kiss you, but you held up your hand, stopping him. "Nooooooo," you squealed, unable to stop laughing.

He smiled, his teeth bloody too, and it sent you into another fit of giggles. He joined in, the two of you laughing like children.

You had never seen him look so wild, so free. He was normally so careful and precise, and seeing him so messy and uninhibited was a huge turn-on.

"Hold on," he said, disappearing into the bathroom.

He returned with a clean face, but his shirt was still covered in blood. He crawled back onto the bed, hovering over you, his eyes raking over your body.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

You rolled your eyes, not exactly agreeing when you were in this state. "Thank you, but I'm not," you protested, shifting uncomfortably.

"Yes, you are," he insisted, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead, his hands moving to your thighs. "And if you won't believe me, then let me show you."

You couldn't deny him, and you relaxed, letting him take control. His hands gripped your thighs, parting them so he could settle between them. His eyes were locked on yours, his gaze intense and full of love.

"Ready for more?" He asked, his lips ghosting over yours.

You nodded, a quiet moan escaping you as he eased into you. He moved slowly, knowing how sensitive you were in this state. It was a new kind of pleasure, a slow burn instead of the usual fiery explosion. He took his time, savoring every moment, committing every detail to memory.

He rocked his hips, the pace steady and deep, his lips finding yours. The kiss was soft and slow, matching the rhythm of his movements. The feeling was incredible, and the cramps had completely faded, your body fully relaxed.

"Lijah... " You whispered, your nails digging into his chest.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. He buried his face in your neck, kissing and biting your skin.

He groaned as he picked up his pace, thrusting deeper and harder. The sounds he was making were so delicious, and you pulled his hair, wanting him to moan more, loving how he was coming undone. His self-control was slipping, and he was losing himself in the pleasure.

"You get so fucking hot when you're like this," you purred, watching the way his muscles flexed as he moved.

He laughed, his breath warm against your neck. "Like what?" He asked, his voice muffled.

"When you're on the verge of losing it," you said, tangling your fingers in his hair. "It's sexy as hell.” 

He chuckled, lifting his head to look at you. "And you're so damn gorgeous when you're bloody and sweaty," he said, a mischievous glint in his eye.

You laughed, the sound fading into a moan as he hit that sweet spot. Your head fell back against the pillow, and his hand found yours, lacing your fingers together and pinning it to the bed.

The pace quickened, and you both knew it wouldn't last much longer. The room was filled with the sounds of your moans and the smell of blood and sex, and it was all too much.

He kissed you deeply, the taste of iron still on his lips. His hands squeezed your hips, pulling you into each thrust. You couldn't take it anymore, and the tension that had been coiling deep inside of you snapped.

Your nails raked down his chest, your moans lost on his lips as you came. All the pain and tension immediately faded, replaced by pure bliss.

"Fuck... " Elijah growled, burying his face in your neck. His rhythm stuttered, and he came with a low groan, his hips jerking as he rode out his orgasm.

You were all hot, flushed and sweaty, but it was the most blissful feeling. You felt like you could melt into the sheets and die right there, but then you would miss the look on Elijah's face.

His eyes were half-closed, his lips parted as he caught his breath. His hair messy, his clothes stained with blood, and it was a sight to behold.

"I love you, you know that?" You murmured, cupping his cheek.

He chuckled softly, pressing a kiss to your palm. "I love you too," he replied, his voice rough.

You ran your thumb across his bottom lip, and he smiled, his dimples on full display. He was always so handsome, but there was something extra special about him when he was like this.

"You're so cute," you teased, booping his nose.

He scrunched his nose, then playfully bit the tip of your finger. "You're adorable," he countered, his voice soft and sweet.

You smiled, your cheeks growing warm. No matter how long you'd been together, he still had that effect on you.

"Come here," he said, wrapping his arms around you and sitting you up, pulling you into his lap.

You giggled, snuggling against him. He kissed the top of your head, his hands resting on your waist. You sat like that for a while, enjoying the closeness.

You were exhausted and ready to sleep, but the mess had to be cleaned up. You were sticky and soaked, and the sheets were a mess.

"I think it's time for a bath," he suggested, brushing his lips against your neck.

You grinned, leaning back and looking up at him. "Only if you join me," you said, arching a brow.

"It's a deal," he replied, grinning back.

You pressed a quick kiss to his lips, then he carried you to the bathroom, setting you down on the side of the tub. He turned on the water and peeled his bloody shirt off, tossing it into the trash.

"You really are filthy," you teased, a playful smirk on your lips.

"It's not my fault that once a month I'm presented with the perfect opportunity to get a little messy," he retorted, giving you a smug look.

"A little?" You said, looking him up and down.

There was blood covering the bedsheets, his hands, his cock and of course between your legs and down your thighs.

"Alright, maybe a lot messy," he relented, shrugging his shoulders.

You giggled, watching him test the water, making sure it wasn't too hot. He was so sweet and caring, always looking out for your comfort.

He helped you into the tub, then got in behind you, pulling you against him. You sighed, enjoying the warmth of the water and his body against yours.

"Thank you," you murmured, your eyes closing as you leaned back against his chest.

"For what?" He asked, his fingers tracing patterns on your skin.

"For everything," you said, opening your eyes and tilting your head to look at him.

"So, same time next month?" He teased, smiling down at you.

You laughed, playfully slapping his thigh. "Sure, but this time, let me take care of you," you said, wiggling your eyebrows.

"It's a date," he said, his hand trailing down your body.

The two of you stayed in the tub until the water started to cool, then you cleaned up the room and settled back into bed, snuggled in his arms.

Sure, periods suck, but when you have a man like Elijah, they aren't all bad.

[yourfatherlucifer]

Stay With Me (CS)

Prince!San x Princess!Reader

Summary: You were the king's trophy, a mere prize from the neighboring kingdom as a peace treaty. The king didn't care about you. Only wanted to flaunt that he owned the most beautiful princess, but his son fell in love you, and he wants to run away with you.

Warnings: Slapping, I think that's it.

Genre: Fluff

AU: Royal/Joseon

WC: 1.1k

Taglist:

PLEASE REBLOG

Four Years Ago

“You have no choice in this matter, Y/N! You will go to him and you will stay there. We have no need for you, the people don’t want a queen. They want a king to rule them. Your brother is our heir.” Your mother scoffed and looked down at you in a disgusted manner. 

“He’s only eight! So if you or father suddenly dies, then what? The people are left with a child for a ruler. That’s what you want? You’d just throw away your daughter just to have peace between the kingdoms?” 

Your mother’s palm slapped across your face, “You will NOT speak to me that way! I am still your mother, you brat.” 

“Not anymore. No mother gives away their child just for a peace treaty.” You spat in her face, picking up your hanbok’s end to walk away. 

The Present

The King’s eyes bore into you, “Maybe I should’ve made you a concubine.” His disgusting smirk plastered his face, you turned your nose up to him, how dare he? You are of royal descent, you are a princess! Not some object for this man. 

You turned your head and rolled your eyes, could this man get anymore revolting? You met the eyes of his son on the other side of the throne, his beautiful cat-like eyes. He was gorgeous and was nothing like his father in any way. Choi San, the most dreamy prince around. Women and girls fawned alike, but he only had eyes for you. Afterall, he was in love with you.

The king soon became surrounded by his actual concubines and dismissed his son and you, both away, saying he wanted to be alone. 

You made your way back to your private chambers, glad you weren’t forced to share with the vile king. San ran after you, his hand grabbing your wrist, “Y/N, wait!” 

You turned to face him, an eyebrow raised, “Yes, Prince San?” 

He smiled and pulled you into a hidden section of the palace, “I wanted to see your cute face,” you smiled back at him and placed your hand on his chest, “and to say I’m sorry about my father, please remember to ignore him. I wanna take you away from here so bad.”

“San, you can’t just leave your duties, you’re the crown prince after all. And eventually, he’s gonna have you married. You know it won’t be me.” You sigh and release him, leaning your back on the stone wall, “I’m surprised I still have my status and not living in the dungeon yet.” 

San smacked your shoulder, “Don’t say such things! You know I hate that, besides, he’s old as hell, if he dies before he can engage me. Then I’ll have you. I’ll get rid of all those concubines as I will never need them.” 

His sweet words ached your heart, he was such a dreamer. You both knew his father wasn’t gonna die anytime soon, the man seemed immortal, his wife passed during San’s birth, which made him surround himself with women, forcing you to be by his side. You are his most beautiful piece, but he won’t touch you. Even said himself, you are just a prize for him, other than that, he has no means for you. He would still inappropriately touch you, but other than that, he usually ignored you. 

Just why did he keep you around? To show you off? To say he owns the most beautiful princess ever? The most sought for woman? To keep you so no one else can have you? So you die alone? But you were loved, loved by his son. It’s not like you’re his step mom or anything, just someone trapped in his kingdom. 

Tears escaped your eyes, “You know that's not true, San. Your day to get engaged will come soon, I’m sure of it. Then I will go back to being alone.”

San pulled you to his chest, “No, I will not allow it, you’re mine, and I want you to stay with me.” A few tears fell down his face, “I want only you.”

You nodded and held his cheeks in your hands, “I know, I know, but we can’t.”

When you finally push him away and leave him behind, tears flood his cheeks. 

You sat on your bed, face in your hands, his father banished you to your chambers as he didn’t wanna see you around the palace at all. He was already tired of seeing your face, hopefully, you thought. If that was true, maybe he’d finally let you leave, or something else you dared not to think of. 

A knock on your door interrupted your thoughts, “Princess Y/N? Crown Prince San would like to speak to you.” You dismiss your maiden and allow San in. 

He quickly ran over to you once the door shut behind him. He tackled you to the bed, giggling, “Hi, Y/N, I missed you.”

You looked up at him before smacking his back, “San! You need to be careful! One of these days you’re gonna get caught.” 

He giggled again and squished your cheeks in his hands, “What’s he gonna do? Nothing, I’m his only son and heir, and he can’t knock up his concubines.” 

You gagged, “Don’t even talk about him.” 

San sat up and pulled you to his chest, “Okay, okay. So, Y/N, I was thinking.” 

You raise your brow at him, when he’s thinking it's never good. 

“What is it?”

“Let’s run away together.”

“But-” 

San halted your protests with his lips on yours, molding them in a warm and intimate kiss, “You don’t have a choice, we’re leaving, I’m abandoning my title. I want to be with you forever, I don’t care about being King if I can’t have you by my side.” 

“I already had one of my servants prepare everything we need to leave with, I have the gold and some clothes for us. We will head five villages over, he will never look for us, trust me, my princess.” 

San hikes you up and carries you out of the room, running towards the back of the palace, carefully dodging staff. 

When he makes it to the carriage and nods away the servant, “Thank you, for everything, remember the story.” The servant smiles and bows. 

“Farewell Prince San and Princess Y/N, may you two live peacefully.”

And thus began your journey to freedom, the story ends with two lovers living happily in a remote village, in a nice farm house, no one aware of their former statuses, just a happy couple living together till the end of their days. The king never found either of you, he eventually died of old age and a magistrate took over the kingdom.

[the-cs-oc-archives]

@carmensandiegowritinngs's OC Heart Ache/Amelia! Go check their blog out!

Edit: updated image i.d. in a hurry

[nicolesainz]

You’re losing me (CS 55)

Carlos Sainz x f!reader

Summary: long distance is difficult, taking flights, seeing each other only a few hours, you slowly forget who the other is

A/N: Miss TayTay loves to break my heart. That song is pure ache.

Warnings: intense fighting, swearing, angst, heartbreak

Packing my luggage for what is about to be the last time around Carlos. I take a look at my paddock pass that is hanging around my neck for one last time. This will probably be passed on to another girl in the future.

Originally, I wouldn’t have stayed for the race. Who would have thought that my surprise would blow up and be an absolute failure. The annoyance in his face when he saw me, broke my heart.

Usually when one arrives to surprise a beloved one, they don’t seem irritated or angry with a move like this. They are surprised and happy eventually. In our case, Carlos couldn’t bother to be either of the two. Simply annoyed.

He barely kissed me on the lips. Nothing but a small peck on my cheek. During the whole drive to the hotel, he didn’t utter a single word, no matter how many questions I asked.

“Did I do some wrong?”

“Aren’t you happy I’m here?”

“Is everything alright?”

“Are you stressed about the race?”

“Did you fight with anyone?”

“Did a fan bother you anyhow?”

His answers were either a blunt “no” or a growl.

When we arrived at the room, he shut the door loudly before leaving for the track alone, abandoning me with a simple phrase.

“Take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch”

Maybe I shouldn’t have come. Maybe I should have stayed in Spain. Maybe I should have asked him first if he wanted me here. Maybe I’ve become too bothersome for him.

So many questions flooding in my head, I wanted to throw up. The room felt very claustrophobic, so I took my bag and the key, leaving the room as well. Since Carlos didn’t want us to go together at the paddock, I took a taxi and went there by myself.

Closing to the Ferrari garage, I was greeted by a smiley Charles and laughing Lando, running towards my way. Seeing them this happy, cheered me up, I have to admit that.

“Next time, act more happy when you see us” Lando ironically said, wrapping his arms around me.

“I’m so sorry. Since I arrived everything has been so different” there’s a bitter feeling leaving my mouth saying the word ‘different’

“Did something happen back home? With Carlos?” Charles asks, eyes full of concern as we walk in the garages.

“With Carlos. Ever since I arrived this morning, he has been so distant and mean towards me. I can’t understand what I’ve possibly done” I look so confused and so do the boys beside me.

“Have you tried asking or talking to him?” Lando points out.

“Yes, but he would answer to my questions either with a simple ‘no’ or a grunt. That’s it. After that I didn’t want to bother him anymore. When we arrived at the hotel he immediately left and I was alone” I lower my head as I see Carlos approaching the garage as well.

“Do you want us to go and talk to him? Maybe it’s something about the race. Although he seemed okay on Wednesday when we arrived” Charles placed his hand on my back caressing it softly and apologetically.

“No, it’s alright. I don’t want to involve you in this madness more than now. I wouldn’t want Carlos to be mad at his friends as well” I give both the drivers a sympathetic smile as they slowly fade away to different paths, leaving me alone once again.

When Carlos eyes me, he comes forward and spits again one phrase before abandoning a whole conversation.

“So, you came huh?”

Everything is so random and weird, I can process what is going on with him? What have I done? Did I say something? Did I post something? Did I forget to tell him something? Did I forget an anniversary? Birthday? No, I haven’t. Then what is it?

I surely do not want to get into a fight with him before qualifying, so I shut up and get away from the garage, so my presence won’t annoy him more as it already has. If I’m the problem, I better stay away.

"Do you want me to stay? Should I go?" I quietly say, scared of what his response may be.

"I don't know. Do you wanna fucking stay? Maybe you are thinking of leaving. I don't know. Your call" he bluntly replies and refuses to look at me in the eyes.

"Of course I want to stay, but clearly there is something wrong here. Did I do something?" Why is he acting like this? I can't understand.

"I don't know, did you? And it surprises me that you want to stay. Do as you please!" Now that his focus switched to me, his eyes were hiding pain and anger behind them. And they are screaming to me that I caused those emotions.

"Can we talk? After qualifying? I have already caused you enough stress and I really do not want that." I take his hand in mine and I can his feel his grip being loose compared to other times.

"Yes. Or whatever you want. Hoping you'll actually stay" He keeps saying 'whether I stay or not' and my mind wanders to possible reasons why he is angry with me

"I love you Carlos, very much. More than anyone on this planet" I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him firmly and as tight as I can. I have to show him that I am here to stay.

His breathing is loud and hard. His suffering is apparent, even though the beats of his heart are fast. It pains me to the very last bone, that I was the cause of such harsh and painful emotions, that now have taken over him.

"I love you too" the four words escaped his lips, as if there were a feat to him.

Qualifying went well for both Ferrari boys, having them start in P2 and P3 behind Max. It was a solid result after the first few races being difficult to perform and cope with.

The whole garage started clapping and congratulating their boys for the pleasing result, as I was approached by Rupert slowly. He had a nervous look plastered all over his eyes and I sensed that he knew something I didn't.

"Y/N, can I ask you something? If I am not being very invasive?" Rupert has an apparent difficulty in his speaking as he can't bare to ask me.

"Of course. What is wrong? You are worrying me" my palms are starting to get sweaty and my throat drying up.

"Did you, mhm, ehm, well, ah, oh god I cant say it"

"Please tell me, I won't take any offence"

"I seriously can't. I don't even know why it crossed Carlos's mind. You are the sweetest woman for him, I can't depend on his idiotic theories. That is such nonsense"

"Rupert, can you please tell me what is going on with Carlos? He is acting all weird and I am afraid I have accidentally done something without it crossing my mind." Worry rushes through my veins and my fingers fidgets around a string of my hair.

"If I tell you, swear to me, that you will not tell you heard it from me. You will hear it from him first. I have noting to do with it. I would never condone it nor anyone" Rupert is trying to avoid at all costs this topic. I don't know if I want to stop him or force him to tell me before Carlos.

"You are making me very worried. Was he involved in any paranormal activity that Ferrari shouldn't know? Did he fight with Charles? Does he want to leave the team? What can be so awful?"

Rupert takes a deep breath and shuts his eyes.

"Carlos slept with another woman"

I cant find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore.

"Please tell me this isn't some sick joke. Tell me that you are lying for the first and last time in your entire life. Rup..." I stop talking when I feel a hot breath hitting my neck, sending shivers to my entire body.

Rupert's eyes were taken over by horror and disappointment for his friend, but sympathy towards me. So now I know why Carlos was distant and acted absurdly. He was losing me and he knew it. But preferred not to do anything.

"Rupert can you please leave us alone?" Carlos's voice was breaking as each letter escaped his mouth. Each of them sounded quite than the one before.

"I am sorry Carlos. She deserved the truth" he replied earring a nod by Carlos, assuring him that he did not care who told me the truth. Whether it was him or his friend.

"If you want to leave, it would be more than understandable, but.." he did not manage to finish his sentence before i felt my heart exploding out of my chest.

"Why do you keep on pushing me away? Why do you want me far away from you? Why do you want me to leave? Did I ever say that I do not want to next or close to you? Have I? Because you clearly have the wrong idea of it"

"You kept on being absent from the races. I was alone. With no one to console or cheer me up, after the messiest and absolute fuck all start of a season. I watched everyone being with their girlfriends and I had no one to hug, kiss, no one by my side. A text was never gonna fix anything" tears started escaping Carlos's eyes, before he took a deep breath and continued explaining.

"After the Australian Grand Prix, I was at my lowest. Given a penalty after almost getting a podium and losing all points. Not being able to help my team after Charles's DNF. Receiving all this hate from the media and not being able to handle it they way I should have. I did not want to do all this alone, but in the end, I was. And you were nowhere to be found. Lando and I went out for a couple of drinks, when a girl approached me. My phone kept on ringing, it was you calling me. And yes, I decided on purpose to ignore it. A FaceTime wouldn't cure my pain or fix anything. A few drinks later, she ended up on my hotel room, after one thing led to the other"

Disgust, disappointment, anger, sadness, had taken over my soul and thoughts.

I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore, for you.

"We have been too far gone to bring back to life, Y/N. I did not know whether you'd ever show up to be with me. I thought you had found something more interesting. Someone more interesting. Another person to spend your time. Since I am always absent, it would be more than logical. But the thought of you with someone else, made me want to throw up and run back to you, to hold you in my arms. I didn't know whether you would want us to stay together after all the distance"

How long, could we be a sad song? Till we were too far gone to bring back to life?

"I love you. I could never love anymore more than I do you. If I had give up everything I owe for you, I would. Or even willingly. I would give my life for you. I would take a thousand knife stabs, hundreds of bullets, millions of cuts, if it meant to prove my love to you, Carlos. No matter the kilometres that keep us apart, I would lock my heart away so it wouldn't fall for someone else besides you. Besides the man I fell for, who was thirsty to show the world who he was and had my ultimate support. Still has. Even if you were sunshine and I was midnight rain, I would drop everything just to keep you in my life. No one else, only you"

So I peered through a window, a deep portal, time travel, all the love we unravel, and the life I gave away.

"I will fall on my knees. Beg every second, every minute, every hour, every day of my life, if it means that you will eventually forgive me. I was so scared that our love was drowning and draining, when in fact I was the one who drowned it. With my own hands. Just like your trust. For which I will also plead and kneel to gain back one day, no matter how long it takes. Weeks, months, years, even damned centuries. I will be patient. Just for you"

I pictured you with other girls, in love, then threw up on the street. Like waiting for a bus that never showed, you just starting walking home. They say that if it's right, you will know.

[pattysplaceofplaces]

Heart Ache’s glowup is GORGEOUS. The Crackle Rod Hearts are such a nice touch, and it sounds like it was a fun challenge for Dr Bellum!

I must say, Heart Ache, I’m surprised that you work well with Tigress, considering your shakey friendship. What was your first mission with her like? Do you often request to work with her?

-Anon 1

Awww thank you so much! 💗 Amelia probably forced her to make them so many times until they looked cute, scolding the mad scientist for using the wrong shade of pink that’s unflattering with her outfit.

“Don’t get me wrong, that kitty cat really gets on my nerves sometimes…” The sound of acrylic nails can be heard tapping on a hard surface as she pauses to think. “…But we’re also pretty similar; two great minds in a rat race if I may say. We used to be best friends once and I guess that still shows. I don’t mind swallowing my pride for the sake of a mission but I’ll never look at her the same way again. She’s so icky.

A first mission is always one of the most special, especially to me. I consider myself very sentimental. Near and after graduation was when we were the closest. Everything was going just as it should have, with two perfect minds plotting nothing could go wrong! But you know what they say, two’s company and three’s a crowd.”

Amelia’s first question!! 🥳 Anon 1 will always be the first

[aeko]

i still can't move on from ii 16 its been more than a week, my heart literally aches when i think about it cs like WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY ARENT REAL there's alot to take in I CANT ACCEPT THIS IM LITERALLY IN DENIAL☹️

[phantom-heartbeat]

Does anyone with Cs/WCS wanna chat about it?

Does it feel like you're more of a zombie? A vampire? Something else?

Does it fluctuate or stay the same every episode?

What conditions do you have influence it and how (if any)?

What are the main and rare physical sensations?

What are tricks that help you? How did you find what works and what doesn't?

What makes it worse?

I'll start.

I often feel a mix of creatures, undead or generally nonhuman. But primarily zombie, vampire, siren or some sort of living dead thing that either isn't supposed to be on land or function like a living human.

It fluctuates a lot every episode, more often than not when I don't realize it is an episode i feel cybernetic or robotic, I'm only starting to recognize that as my more common episodes now. The more subtle ones at least.

My anemia, arthritis and other physical disabilities I have all effect it, but having DID means it can change and present differently based on who's fronting too.

My anemia makes me cold as a corpse most days, low blood circulation and pale complexion in top of being a walking icicle has made me a target for vampire comments growing up, my need for iron often feels like a thirst for blood. It can also feel like a hunger for flesh especially if I haven't eaten or slept properly when you take my Ed and insomnia into count.

The aches caused by my arthritis and chronic pain are more often than not soothed by water, making me feel like I need to go back to the ocean or sea to get out of this human skin and feel better and more free where my body is better suited. I often find myself violently scratching at my skin either because of eczema or something else which only contributes to the idea

That list goes on for a while

The main sensations are completely weighted like my body is just actual dead weight, heavy limbs and all, manual breathing switches on and my joints and limbs ache like they're going to fall off or are sore from being locked rigor mortis or because they're currently in rigor mortis. I'm not sure how to explain it but I'll also feel as if organs are missing.

There's also rarely ever feeling hunger and if I do it's cravings, not the sweet tooth kind, same with the need for other bodily functions.

Some rare feelings are a drill going through my head, not in the headache sense, my heart briefly stopping, things crawling on or under my skin, electricity running through my body and my teeth changing.

Tricks that sometimes help me are eating something, a snack or a meal just help me remember the body still needs it, checking for my pulse though it can be a hit or miss if the episode is really bad, and something cold like ice to shock my senses into resetting and waking up.

I found out most of them through anxiety attacks or times I felt really sick, I just kept using them because they seemed to help. There was a bit of trial and error, I found people reassuring me I'm alive and basically reality checking me doesn't help at all just makes me uncomfortable to be around them at worst and in one ear out the other at best. Often when someone tries giving me reassurance my brain treats it as a bold faced lie.

Mentally my depression and trauma or triggers all make the episodes worse, especially if I have trouble finding my pulse on my neck out of panic, or times I just can't taste things or my senses feel off. But overall times I feel sick are when my brain starts getting convinced I'm on my deathbed any second now or the body has finally given up.

I'm happy to answer any questions

What's it like for you?