#cus im a woman and im dumb and u know better u fuck

[garrandia]

Hate my father with passion

[soup-mother]

i forget how weird i feel sometimes about the fact I'm "non-binary" on my birth certificate and not "female". like i know *why* i changed it to that at the time and ~sometimes~ it makes things easier entirely via not asserting myself as being a woman (everyone hates when you do that). but fuck i do wish younger me had not done that out of worry her family wouldn't approve of it unless it was something other than "female".

like I'm a girl, but legally if I'm needing to show my birth certificate i have to get lumped into the "other/intersex" category or I'm legally lying. like i can't tell if it made hospital stuff worse cus everyone was "they"-ing me or if it would have actually been worse being listed as a girl and i 100% would have gotten they-d anyway.

like i can justify it to myself to feel better of like ooo im plulal maybe that makes me feel better about it, or that again it's "less confrontational" or fucking whatever but it was still kinda dumb and i would go back and change it if i could even if it would cause even more issues.

i could change it but it's like $200 -_-

i would like to be listed as a girl thank u younger me, that was stupid of you

[tezzbot]

Osomatsu, Jyushimatsu and Todomatsu (🏳️‍🌈💌💔🧸🪀💬🎃🔊)

not gonna do all of these for all 3 ive been trying since last night my brains gonna melt lmfao

🏳️‍🌈 lgbt hc

osomatsu thats a dyke

jyushimatsu i think w regards to gender probably doesnt give tht much of a fuck tbh. hes just jyushimatsu also woman liker

todomatsu uhhh . hm idk.. theres smth fruity going on there i mean look at it. not sure how id label him hes like a lgbt what all at once type u know HDHJDG

💌 fluff hc

osomatsu has always really loved horse racing even before he had a gambling addiction lol i think as a kid hed go to the library or smth and just Read n Learn about horses and races in general thats the tism baby he knows literally everything you ask him who won whatever race in like 1976 he Knows its like scary impressive (literally how else wld he remember horse racing results from Ten Years In The Past in the movie!!!!) if you gave him a horse he would fully know how to take care of it

jyushimatsu and homura, tho not dating cus i dont think theyre ldr kinda people, they do still stay in contact, they talk on the phone n write each other letters tgey r the world

some of the friends todomatsu has do legitimately enjoy hanging out with him like the barista girls what r their names. aida and s. saachi? they like him a lot! as a friend! he just is in the mindset of im bottom of the social barrel so he doesnt always see it lol

💔 angst hc

do i even need to do this these guys r miserable little freaks as is lmfao

osomatsu. cant think of anythin original just uknow usual. childhood trauma, dependency issues, oldest child 3rd parent syndrome, etcetc

jyushimatsu feels bad abt how he treated ppl in high school, despite the fact tht it was a defence mechanism he didnt Like being so angry all the time :( its why he tries so much to make people happy now. tht anger does still make its appearances but hes better with it now

🧸hurt/comfort hc

osomatsu when he feels like trashgarbage will go and find one of his brothers and if he finds one of them in the house he'll go n sit by them n try strike up a conversation but if hes feeling like considerably bad he'll just sit and maybe lean against them just for the pressure remind him that theyre there keep him grounded

💬 fav line

jyushimatsu - literally all of his big long stupid internal monologues are great but literally the best line in the show is "Samples, my guy" it legitimately made me laugh So loud when i first watched that episode by myself

🎃 sth i think theyre afraid of

osomatsu hemophobia not a fan of blood, why he freaked out so bad in the movie over a scuff

jyushimatsu probably claustrophobic n being restrained fr long not of his own accord, man needs to fidget

todomatsu literally so scared of seeing the hat man in the dark. he watched one five nights at freddys video in 2015 and now his brain thinks hes gonna see bonnie in the bathroom at night he closes the door facing into a room so he has a full view of the room w his back On the door to make sure he hasnt been followed despite the fact he Knows he hasnt. just in case lol (no i am not projecting [lying])

🔊song that reminds me of them

oso - get well city by felix hagan and the family (a lot of their songs make me think Matsus in general tbh lol)

jyushi- dumb dumb by mazie

todo is kinda hard to nail down but - secrets by p!nk

[bugsrepellsgant]

OKIE ive been kicking this au around my brain for months so here’s an outline or whatever

WORKING TITLE: toki and pickles travel cross country to california like kermit and fozzie in the muppet movie OR toki and pickles do america

TL;DR toki and pickles are both 17-ish, the year is 199X, theyre hauling ass to socal to audition for SnB, but instead they accidentally get dethklok together and fall in love :-)

pickles has freshly stepped out and couch surfed his way to greenbay, and just managed to scrape together enough cash for a bus ride to minneapolis (going east to go west is counterintuitive and dumb but so is american public transport) BUT THEN

toki’s one-ish year out of home, has scraped together enough money working for runke to apply for a passport but once he gets to the offices oh no!!! he doesn’t have any proof of citizenship! and he’s a minor! aw fuck now he’s gotta stow away on an oil tanker cus staying isnt an option (yes this is paddington now)

he lands in boston harbor, gets far enough inland on foot and by ferry until he reaches GREEN BAY, WI and he’s a day or two of panhandling away from meeting the ticket fee BUT THEN

its friday night which means its fucking college football night which means SHITTY COLLEGE BROS HAVE DESCENDED UPON THE CITY!

pickles gets briefly needled for being short and ginger but u know he Lives hes been getting this kind of shit forever. HOWEVER toki is immediately singled out as a funny lookin, high voiced, gnome hat weirdo with an accent and he’s trying to laugh along ??? ha ha?? but its so Bad and pickles feels Bad but he’s gotta get outta here-

Oh God one of the bros tried to to take toki’s guitar away and toki flipped shit and its a fight now!! he’s outnumbered but our boy pickles intervenes!!! they’re winning? OH GOD SOMEONE CALLED THE FUCKING COPS

escape! safe; breathless in an alley; “hey whats yooooour name???” “toki!” “heheheheh toke-ki >B-)” “?????” “im pickles” “you namesed pickle???? ‘,:-/“ bla bla bla oh u play guitar? i play drums but i like guitar too there’s a band in LA i wanna play for ya wanna come with???

a car is obtained at... some point

and OH BOY DOES HE!

a long series of shenanigans occur! our boys get stopped, turned around, detoured, misdirected, all kinds of classic farce bullshit, later on we make and pick up friends at pitstops! a fellow highschool dropout with a killer voice in kissimmee, the best guitarist youve heard in your life dodging swedish mandatory service in chicago, a dude with the stankiest bassline (and feet) that side of the mississippi in the texas panhandle, a TOTAL buzzkill geek of a harvard freshman on summering at his family villa near denver, a cool headed, smart as hell, fuckin julliard composer in training who produces music FOR FUN visiting her family in downtown phoenix.

oh my GOD what is seth fucking DOING HERE is that lady his GIRLFRIEND is she PREGNANT what the HELL GO HOME IF YOU TELL MOM WHERE WE ARE ILL KILL YOU DEAD

seth’s also hanging out with this other guy who seems...... cool? you think? fun, talented, good at guitar like both our boys, pickles’ kinda guy to be honest? there’s something about him thats hard to trust though.

sharing hotel rooms, sleeping in truck beds, they get curious about each others lives? pickles clocked toki as a weird hick at first blush, and tbh he was right but? he went to highschool with farm kids and knows farm kid-weird from weird-weird and toki’s WEIRD-weird. and sweet. and funny. the polaroid in toki keeps of a man and a woman, the man in a reverend’s hat, makes pickles scared to ask. especially since toki’s been cool enough to mind his own business.

toki’s fascinated by pickles’ bouts of righteous anger. unlike runke, his rage has energy and intent, and the stunt he pulled in green bay was so nice and so COOL! he’s one such real cool guy with a cool leather jacket and cool hair... but Why is he so mad all the time? why does he drink so much, it doesnt even taste good? why does he STEAL drinks when they have no money? what happened to toki’s nice, cool, brand new friend pickle? something like what happened to toki? but? pickles is so Cool and Nice and NORMAL and toki is so Weird and Stupid and Wrong in ways toki’s horrified to let him discover. its better not to ask him, he guesses.

feelings get stronger as all the bad things come to light. crying hugs are had. pickles drops what was going to be bus money on a replacement V for toki and toki drops his panhandling dough on a goldtop for pickles.

WE FINALLY GET TO LA AND......? what the fuck

the glam/hair scene is dead in the water. Snakes n Barrels supernova’ed. no more audition. no more career. shit shit shit.

but all the friends weve made along the way are here for our boys! they’ll just start their OWN BAND!!!! TAMPA! MORDHAUS! DETHKLOK’S A-GO!! everythings comin up milhouse!

our boys are Officially *an item* and they ride into the sunset together, stirrup to stirrup, side by side. big gay kiss. the end :-)

OTHER THINGS THAT HAPPEN:

amber goes into labor during one of seth’s drop in visits and everyone gets emo about family as a concept, pickles and seth gave a heart to heart, no one is too metal for feelings when the baby comes bc life is beautiful

magnus pulls some scary/mean bs but its nothing too awful and theres forgiveness and lessons learnt and stuff.

the duel! but theres THREE GUITARISTS?????!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE FOUR?

toki and pickles will both have religious drama but pickles’ drama is more of a sidenote in his list of Issues (pickles’ family is probably catholic and i was raised catholic and i GOTTA project. i GOTTA)

lgbt themes because IM GAY and THEYRE GAY PRRRRBBBBT

murderface? finds love?? GAY LOVE???

this post is too long g-g-g’byeeeee!

[bryonieamber]

i love u guys so much ty

puttin this under a cut though cus it will be long!

The Killers are one of my favorite bands of all time. like. i adore all their shit so much. and most people only know them from "mr brightside" but like. EVERY album of theirs is fan fucking tastic. and Brandon Flower's own albums of the stuff he did solo is really good too.

Imploding the mirage is a fucking incredible album. and one of the songs features K.D LANG so u KNOW its good.

its hard to say what my favorite songs of theirs are cus i really love all of them so much. Dying breed. The Man. Battle Born. All These Things That I've Done.... those are probably some of my all time favorites.

and like i know this is something the kids say all the time, but Brandon Flowers gives me major gender envy. like. i wanna be him so bad. but like in a woman way.

AND like.... have you seen the music video for "just another girl"? because.... you should. (but it will only make sense if you watch the other music videos for the killers. it doesnt need to make sense to be good though so still watch it). here, i'll give you the link to it. just watch it. WATCH IT. i am begging you. https://youtu.be/3BwzP1laWkQ

I'm also a really big fan of Summer Camp. I've been listening to a lot of their stuff lately.

their album Beyond Clueless was done as the soundtrack for a documentary about coming of age highschool films. that alone should tell you everything about their vibe you need to know.

(the documentary, btw, isnt good. so dont watch it. but definitely listen to the album)

Romantic Comedy is also a good album of theirs. I hate how much i like You Complete me. that whole album is sappy in such a lonely way. Condale is probably my favorite album of theirs though, but honestly every album has so many good little songs.

they're not a very well known band, so PLEASE check them out. i dont know how to sell you on them but i think if you havent heard of them before you should hear The Fighters, and Down. and if you like those songs, you'll probably like the rest of their stuff as much as I do.

LET'S TALK ABOUT BAT FOR LASHES CAN WE PLEASE????

I loooooove Bat For Lashes. Natasha Khan, the singer and songwriter, is just such an incredible story teller through her music. all her albums have so much lore to them. and her music sounds like. idk. this sounds dumb but its like the music you'd hear a ghost sing.

speaking of ghosts, the album The Bride is one i actually didnt like at first, but its grown on me a whole lot. its all about a woman who'se husband dies in a car crash on the morning of their wedding day. its like... sad, obviously, but im giving you that context because that context is what made me like the album way more. gave me a new way to listen to it.

Don't listen to that album first though. Listen to Lost Girls. that album is about women who join a vampire clan. ITS GOOOOOOOD. The Hunger and Safe Tonight are AMAZING songs please LISTEN to them. please.

The Haunted Man is probably my favorite album though. just because it has the most of my favorite songs.

If you're still reading this, im sorry, i dont wanna overwhelm you with music recs. i'll try to speed past through these next ones.

Innouwee is VERY good? so why has nobody heard of them? Listen to the album Ghosts and Shadows. its short, and its all good. every one.

YLHCSD (you love her coz she's dead) is.... VERY difficult to reccomend. i gotta warn you, its nothing like any of the rest of these bands. its like. very heavy electronica. i dont think anyone will like it, but i really like Superheroes and Nowhere To Run To. if you're just starting out though, you should ease yourself in with Lilya Forever or Softer Cell, before you ruin your ears with the rest of their music.

Iiris is very good. If you were like me in middleschool, and got really into Kerli, you'll love Iiris. The Magic Giftbox is an amazing album, but the rest of her stuff is kinda hit or miss. i still think all her stuff is very good sounding.

Dum Dum Girls should definitely be your thing if you liked my Summer Camp or Innouwee recommendation. Too True is such a nice Album! and that doesnt sound as glowing as my other recs, i know, but i mean nice in like. just laying down staring at the ceiling kinda way. like the music is so good but so easy and relaxed. its nice. Trouble Is My Name is probably my fav song of theirs.

And finally i just wanna talk about Italians Do It Better.

no, its not a band. and its not a genre. its more like. an umbrella that a bunch of very similar bands are all under. and they all have a very similar style. I think Johnny Jewel is their main guy. he does great work, and he's composed a lot of original scores for a bunch of those freaky art house type films. and usually those movies he composes for will use music by other artists under the Italians Do It Better umbrella.

The main band, that some of you might actually have heard of, Chromatics, are... SO good. if that name doesnt ring a bell, then the song Kill For Love might... maybe.... if not, still listen to it. They have a BUNCH of albums, and they all have a bunch of songs on them, so it'll take a while to hear all their best songs, but definitely listen to Move a Mountain, On The Wall, and Twist The Knife.

Some more of the best of Italians Do It Better includes Desire and Heaven. But they have fewer stuff, so you only have to listen to Saturday, by Desire, and Truth Or Dare, by Heaven.

OKAY that's it. im done. i wont recommend any more bands to you guys (i didnt even touch on all the vaporwave i listen to, you're welcome).

Thank you for indulging me. i feel like nobody has ever listened to my favorite bands and i'd love if more people would listen to them.

[wanderingpages]

Anon M (Dark AU) part 5 i think

(My [wanderingpages] responses are in this color!)

Um cardan its an ECON class, ofc it wasn’t gonna be interesting (I... liked my Econ class 🙈🙈)

U are a glutton for punishment, dude (yes)

………………morphine

Wait its pain relief

Lol im dumb (hahaha too many drugs to stay on top of things)

“I want to bang my fucking head against the nearest wall. There’s a good reason I dropped out of school and never attended college. Dropped off in a cradle in front the fire house then bouncing from shitty foster home to shitty foster home until the day I finally said fuck it and left the stove burners on. School was never on the forefront of my mind, but I could have gone far had I the chance. To my dismay, while the abusive shit that was my foster dad and the little fuck buddy he shared needles with had died, my foster mother managed to get away from the fire. Turns out foster Daddy had one hell of a life insurance and although, for a while, Asha was under investigation – a cracked out woman profiting off her dead husband? – she managed to fuck her lawyer fees away to get out of charges that in no way could have ever lead to me anyways.”

This whole para is a fucking mood

Wow cardan got a very tragic past (how else do I justify his behavior without making him full psycho in which I can’t even redeem him enough for Jude to like him 😥😥 lol but he just never gets a break huh 😳) (also... told u balekins wife ain’t shit 😉)

Wtf cardan knows this shit

Ahhhhhhhh eldred

Geez cardans thoughts are fun to read (thank you, I go a little trigger happy with his POV cus I can get away with a lot more than I can with others lol)

MAYOR ELDRED WHAT WHAT

FAKED DEATH WHAT

…..prince is so much better than king to me lol (haha then he wouldn’t be the baddest killer on this side of the lake. He’d be the son of one 😔 and tbh eldreds hands are clean.)

Madoc isnt judes dad here, is he (nope)

Is he talking about lollipop rn (yes)

Fucking both dain and locke lol I have no sympathy for nis after HTKOELTHS (lmao leave my girl alone I love her!!)

Judes wishing theyd actually been doing what nis thinks they were (hahaha nah not quite yet)

Aw im liking this interaction

……oh

Oh wow

Oh (yeah see he has morals, who wouldn’t want to kill a pedophile if given the chance, plus money on top of that? Win, win 🥰)

FUCK MAP’S

Vigilante lol

Babe lol

Aw this got sad really quickly (😔)

THIS IS FUNNY I LIKE THIS CARDAN…..not as much as CEO cardan (didja really think I wouldn’t say anything about him) (haha I like dark Cardan toooo he’s my problem child 😫😫 lol ceo is my successful child)

Dains wife is good with him cheating good to know (dains wife don’t give af. She just want that 💰💸💳 🤑)

Why is jude flustered (she saw sumn)

“pick a color” lol

“pink” LOL

WAIT HE HAS A DICK RING ‘

HE HAS A DICK RING DOESN’T HE (hahaha it’s a pelvis piercing! The base of the dick)

Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Cardans turned on

Jude has mentioned sophie

Not so turned on anymore (rip)

GEEZ MOM WAS MURDERED

Dain and Madoc….. sure theyre a GREAT parenting team sureeeeeeeeee (better than the previous parental team hahaha)

Aw

Cardans sad (just a sad boy doing bad things 😔)

Make it stop pls

Um

What happened

OH NO

NOT TARYN

I HATE HER (HAHAHA I LOVER HER !!)

BUT NOT TARYN

END OF THOUGHTS

Welllllllllllllllll

This was a wild ride

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiild

Im loving this (thank youuuu)