#cut herself

[viyojo]

You're a kid now…🧍‍♂️still a kid now!

[valtsv]

i want to talk about my VAL design's halo actually because yes it is primarily a symbolic object but i also hc her as being some form of psychotic and as a fellow psychosis haver i have passionate feelings about the idea that just because something isn't "real" doesn't mean that you don't experience it. it's real to her and that's why it's always present in every drawing i make of her.

[milflaszlo]

(AKA the "Eurydice = Hades = Orpheus = Persephone" post. These four characters all simultaneously becoming one another and having already been one another in an endless cycle feels very fitting to me... it's a show about cycles -- in both the seasons and the song.) 📹: @medium-observation

[kashmimo]

[movedtodykedvonte]

Simon not knowing where the Bus was going and Betty turning into Golbetty right before it leaves is less to say her fate is ambiguous and unknown to even her but more so Simon and her can truly no longer travel together, more so he can’t come with her.

And that he finally realized that.

[stellernorth]

2x21 All Hell Breaks Loose

DVD commentary:

Sera Gamble: I really I love the scene. I love that we gave dean a vision because there's like a sub text too--I mean, it's not even really subtext--he does everything but say, "I'm not a ffff-freaking freak," when he's accused of potentially being- so his prejudice against um—

Robert Singer: I actually think you wrote that Sera, “I'm not, l'm not, I'm not a freaking psychic,” and Eric and i talked about it, i think it was me that said, you know, that's being a little rough on his brother, so actually this idea of that he doesn't quite get it out...

Sera Gamble: But he thinks that.

Robert Singer: He thinks it and you can see that.

[tma-thoughts]

I needed to give her a chelsea cut. For my health.

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[vorakh]

concept portrait of the innocence sola i entirely missed until now o:

[taylortruther]

like, she thought safety was denying parts of herself. but she realized she didn't have to cut off so much. and that's when she outgrew the fishbowl and the cage started feeling restrictive.

[natsmagi]

honestly the more i hear about engstars and its TLs the more i absolutely dread the inevitable release of poltergeist and what may ensue from it, bc if if the translators themselves are already invalidating arashis identity then i Really Truly do not want to see how theyll translate natsume and tsumugis microaggressions/transphobia towards her. esp since ive noticed a rise in people being comfortably transphobic towards her, and i REALLY do not wish to see natsume and tsumugi being stupid fucking morons be used as evidence to discredit her

and i think this is all the more reason why its VERY IMPORTANT for engstars to DIRECTLY ACKNOWLEDGE arashi and her gender. bc sometimes characters are STUPID and RUDE and APATHETIC. enstars is a story with NUANCED and FLAWED CHARACTERS, and when a character is being a fucking asshole youre meant to PROVE THEM WRONG. but they dont even acknowledge arashi as a girl themselves. so, if you do use engstars, please keep pressuring them bc omfg this is so bad and i can only see it getting worse

[spiderzlover]

Greeting fans💙💛🩶

[mollysunder]

I was today years old when in learned, "Ma Meilleure Ennemie" uses French in the feminine case. This means that the "Enemy" in "My Best Enemy" is being referred to in the feminine gender, as in Jinx.

On one very obvious hand this could be about Ekko's perspective on Jinx and how they got where they're at, where they go from here, and what has it meant to either of them as whatever partnership they forge won't last.

But my more fun crack theory is this could be about Caitlyn realizes Jinx isn't the worst person in her life, it's Ambessa. The Noxus-Piltover alliance has fallen apart and Caitlyn is horrified to realize Jinx isn't the reason everything's worse and she's having a near mental breakdown as she thinks of all the choices she's justified under the previous assumption.

[swordmaid]

think brienne should actually try to kill jaime though. like that would be so sexy. to me. personally.

[prettycoolducks]

decided to quickly redraw/draw over an old (and I mean OLD) GLaDOS drawing. I liked the idea I was going for! It's GLaDOS standing over Cave Johnson's corpse lol. Original drawing under the cut (:

[commsroom]

a really small thing, but i like how eiffel and hilbert's exchange: "you ever meet anyone that could get things done all on their lonesome?" / "only one. her name is isabel lovelace." goes directly into the scene where minkowski suggests checking the turbines, leading to her (accidentally) fixing lovelace's shuttle. lovelace later says: "good thinking, commander. i wouldn't have looked at those for ages."

minkowski doesn't mean to help - actually, she's supposed to be doing the opposite of that - but it remains true that lovelace is only able to fix her shuttle because minkowski is there. i think it's an interesting point re: the show's themes in general, and also re: hilbert's specific (mis)perception of lovelace. he sees himself in her, he thinks she's the only one who understands his perspective (and hilbert's arrogant belief in this ideal of pragmatic self-sufficiency leads to both the failure of his life's work and the end of his own life), but what he sees in her isn't her; it's the trauma he's put her through. he's the only direct connection to her past. he's the only one who calls her isabel. they both die, and she comes back, and he doesn't, and she decides to be isabel lovelace again.

[possamble]

do you have any particular thoughts regarding marcille being a half-elf? its interesting to me considering the fact that she seems self-conscious about being a half-elf, but denies it when its brought up

i remember marcille looking visibly uncomfortable over laios simply asking her how old she is, which i think the only reason she might feel nervous about this is because it might reveal her as a half-elf to him.

she's never corrected anybody whose called her an elf either.

never mind the circumstances of the reveal, in which thistle goes on about how half-elves are inferior and accusing her of wanting to become full blooded elf, she seemed particularly upset like he struck a nerve-

i wish the half-elf thing was built upon more. also, underrated marcille line:

okay so i revisited this sequence just to make sure I could back myself up and it's just... man. there's a lot going on.

the first reaction we get from Marcille is this huge panel that takes up half of the page

she is viscerally affected. flushing to the tips of her ears with the intensity of it. and we see it again, a few pages later

so it might seem like she's embarrassed about it and lying to herself, but... I really think it's just that Thistle is accidentally hitting sore spots. If you really look at what he says to get these reactions

"you'll live out your entire life [...] and die that way too"

"a hundred years from now, nobody will be there"

Hear me out. I think, if he stuck to harping on about her inferiority without bringing up how terrifyingly long-lived she is, she wouldn't have been as bothered. But right now, Thistle is accidentally hitting all the marks on Marcille's deepest fears-- and this is after the Winged Lion promised her that her dreams could come true in an extremely vulnerable moment, so it also hits her slightly guilty conscience as well.

I do truly believe that Marcille isn't bothered about being a half-elf the way that people assume she'd be bothered by it. To her, the biggest problem with being a half-elf is that it's isolating.

On one hand, it's not hard to imagine why she'd distance herself from elves in the west. A lot of them can clock her as a half-elf on sight, unlike other races, and therefore she's always branded with this weird stigma of being Othered -- I would even say that she considers herself lucky for being born outside of elven culture instead of having to grow up in it. I mean, just... look at the way elves talk about her.

Skipping past the uncomfortable implication of what 'not tolerating the existence' of half-elves would actually entail, this is incredibly fucking annoying. You can see why she wouldn't want to be around elves much. You see a lot of Marcille reacting badly here, but honestly, almost all of it can be attributed to her freaking out that her bluff completely failed. She's honestly more paying attention to Izutsumi's footsteps and trying to coordinate an opportunity to escape.

And in the end, you see her built-up frustration at being asked if she wants to be a full-blooded elf like 2-3 times in a row.

Yeah, yeah, "the lady doth protest too much," and all. But we know Marcille. We know that she's a lot more embarrassed and horrendously unconvincing when she's being prodded about something she's actually self-conscious about.

Moving onto the flipside of things, it might seem weird that she "pretends" to be a full elf around other races, but it's not really that strange if you think about it. Again, people are weird about her being infertile or whatever, and a lots of them don't even know much about what sets half-elves apart from everyone else. I mean, look at how uncomfortable Laios is just asking her about it

and look at how exasperated and resigned she looks

And like... she's right. Where would that come up in normal conversation? Why would she go out of her way to tell them? She's functionally a normal elf to other races anyway -- got the ears, the abnormally long "childhood", and the huge mana capacity. Unless it's directly relevant or important for people to know, I don't think it's all that strange or indicative of insecurity that she prefers not to bother with it.

(This combined with her sense of being an "outsider" to elf culture also explains why she thinks elf superiority is embarrassing. She sees the way elves treat short-lived races from the "outsider" perspective nonetheless, and thinks it's obnoxious; especially more so because she usually has to play the elf around short-lived races and deal with the reputation of arrogance that elves have built up.)

The sad thing is, this all means that... she doesn't actually fit in anywhere. She doesn't like going out West much because of how elves treat her. But she's also an outsider in the continents she was born in, treated like this exotic long-lived alien choosing to live among short-lived races for some reason. She is always an outsider, the Other, no matter where she goes. Add in the fact that she'll live longer than literally anyone she knows, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking.

And I think that's the crux of it. Marcille really doesn't act like she's at all self-conscious about being a half-elf because of any feelings of inferiority or being half-made or whatever. She considers herself a perfectly legitimate being and might even, in some ways, consider herself superior to normal elves because she's not blind with elf supremacy or whatever. (And whatever "elven biases" she displays, all of them are born more out of the fact that she's kind of bad at conceptualizing how other races age and mature compared to herself, not that she actually considers herself better or more mature simply for being an elf.)

I think that whatever self-consciousness Marcille has about being a half-elf is, instead, related to terror and loneliness. The reminder that it ensures she'll never truly belong anywhere for the rest of her very long life. The reminder that, in truth, even she's not actually sure how old she is by other races' standards (hence the discomfort when asked how old she is). She doesn't want to not be a half elf, or be a full elf or full tall-man-- in her ideal world, she's still a half-elf. She just gets to live out her life at the same pace with the people she loves and doesn't have to say goodbye again and again and again until she dies.

and one last very important panel, right after Mithrun tells her that all her desires would be devoured

In her ideal world, she's still a half-elf and reality magically starts marching at her pace. But failing that, the second best thing is that she's still a half-elf-- but one who is able to accept reality and let go of her fear.

(But the rest of the story pans out the way it does because, to Marcille, taking reality apart and reshaping it was less scary than simply and fully reconciling with it.)