crazy talk 🐯🐻❄️
(on appearances)
i don't point out that bepo is silly and awkward and his voice is shrill and he's so unserious and baby JUST to say that i hold no delusions about that (but that is one reason because Yes all that is so opposite of sexy But despite that - yes seriously with a bear)
other reason is that their difference is lawbepo's most obvious charm point
i love that law - the weird and unfriendly? yes of course - but he is hot enough to have that overlooked. he turns dark and mysterious - And thats the thing!!
him being in relationship with bepo really grounds him? it really makes law so human that he has an unusual taste like that
it's like finding out your godlike celeb crush's long time wife/husband is not that attractive
and that thing is soooooo fun to me
mentioned many times i didnt care much abt law n even before i fell into the ship full throttle thought his hug with bepo on zou is his best moment (and im not the only one who loves that softer side that we discovered after that moment - nvm that hug is not treated as romantic sadly but we will disregard that)
bepo really does law so good by just being next to him and it doesnt make sense but it DOES. and them being involved TO ME fleshes out law more. yes bitches. no he wont tell you
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Thinking about how when I talked to my ex about feeling like I may not be cis, she accused me of trying to jump on a trend because her and her friends were trans. She said I just thought being trans was cool because I spent too much time on Tumblr and that I shouldn't fake it for attention.
She quizzed me on whether or not I experienced dysphoria and how I felt about my genitals. After all that she said "Well, maybe"
She said something once about being trans being unnatural and I was like, no, no it's not, it's fine. It's normal and common and has been part of humanity forever. And she argued and pretty much shouted me down until I didn't know how else to convince her that, no, she isn't a freak, actually.
She made a comment once about certain kinds of trans people (I wish I could remember exactly, may have been a microlabel like demigirl or similar) weren't 'really' trans, just wanted attention, etc. I didn't argue then, because I figured, she's trans so she must know better than I do, right?
She was also certain that nothing she did or said could be transphobic, because she was trans. I tried to argue against her because she said something unkind about another trans group and she shut me down with this.
She was so full of self-hate. She was so judgmental about other trans people and whether they were really trans enough or just faking it. She had so so much internalized transmisogyny and transphobia.
I haven't seen hair nor hide of her in many years. She left tumblr ages ago. I ghosted her shortly after she announced on her blog that she was exclusive with someone else - then was shocked when I didn't want to 'stay friends'.
I wonder about her sometimes. I hope she's doing better. I hope she's with someone who can help her learn to love herself, and her fellow queer community.
And I am pretty sure she's one of the big reasons I am so terrified to officially call myself nonbinary and update my pronouns. Cuz I'm probably just faking it for attention.
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also uh. this is part inquiry, part vent ? I know it's kinda shitty to be like "do you like my character ?" but now that I've gotten through more of act 2 and done the questlines involving the shadow-cursed lands... I honestly feel kinda silly. like.
knowing what happens with oliver / thaniel, as well as what is implied with arabella, I'm worried that shade is a little... redundant. I don't know. like. if people like her as a companion and the way I've built her lore that's good enough for me, I just. worry. and I worry that people may think I'm trying to replace those narratives. I don't know. it's hard to explain just how I feel. but mostly I feel silly. and worried.
probably overthinking it but. input would be most appreciated. honest input; I just want to know what people think / feel about shade in relation to the characters and lore we already have in the game, I guess. I am genuinely curious what people think.
edit: read the tags but also I should post a disclaimer, I know that if people didn't like shade they wouldn't be following or interacting with me. that's not the question I'm asking here. I'm asking for input on where she stands in the game canon lore, on what people think about that. I am honestly so, so thankful for the support and love I have received in writing shade. <3 I was not expecting this kind of love and interest, and I am grateful for everyone who has given her / me a chance !
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i thought it would be fun to see what details id take away in a simplified design and what details id add to a non simplified design
aka tsuvet if she was a Saturday morning cartoon vs tsuvet if she was a real person
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