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enbycrip · 10 months

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I am pro-kid because I am pro-human, and kids are people. No matter how much social bullshit tries to say they are not.

No one asked to be here. Everyone deserves a loving, gentle, safe childhood; and the world is actively a much worse place because that idea is somehow controversial.

Active hostility towards kids also *massively* entrenches the inequality birthing and feeding parents experience. If you really hate kids but you don’t hate women and people read as women, sell treating kids like people to yourself on fighting misogyny. And consider that hating any group of marginalised people for their marginalisation is bigotry.

You don’t have to like kids en masse. You *certainly* don’t need to have them if you don’t want to, or to babysit kids if you don’t feel comfortable doing so.

But you *do* have a responsibility to treat kids like people, including accommodating their needs. Don’t be a dick to kids you meet in the wild, and don’t be a dick to parents because their kids are acting like kids.

And be aware of the intersections of privilege when you are considering kids in public. Kids who are getting in your way in public spaces are likely to be doing that because of poverty, frankly. Very few parents *want* to take their young kids on a long ride on public transport, especially if said kids are clearly either tired and cranky or full of energy that public transport is a shitty environment to release it on. If they are doing this, it is likely because they have no other options.

And please don’t make the disingenuous “they chose to have kids” argument; horribly, bodily autonomy is not a given for birthing parents. About a third of births in “western countries” are unplanned. There is lack of access to birth control and reproductive healthcare and there are controlling partners (manipulation through sex and reproduction is a favoured tactic for far too many abusers).

A 3 year old having a meltdown is doing it because of their developmental stage and because their basic needs aren’t being met. It’s not deliberate and it’s not under their control. Being a dick about that as exactly as bigoted as behaving that way towards a disabled person who isn’t being accommodated either.

I’m physically disabled and neurodivergent. My adult brother is neurodivergent and learning disabled. I’ve seen a lifetime of people who hate kids hating disabled people too. Including too many privileged disabled people, frankly. There is absolutely such a thing as a clash of accessibility needs, but vocal hatred of other marginalised people, or being a dick to them, because their needs clash with yours is Not Okay.

I am also pro-old people for the exact same reasons I am pro-kid. Because they are all people, and marginalised people at that.

Childhood and old age are the times people living in economically-exploited classes experience the most poverty, because age, and the lack of capacity for economic exploitation that accompanies both old age and childhood, is a characteristic that people are marginalised for.

We live in a society here. We are communal creatures. We have a basic responsibility to be decent to other people, including people who are marginalised and dehumanised, and that includes kids and old people.

If you are organising, including kids and providing childcare is as essential as accessibility. If you don’t, you are literally entrenching the same power dynamics you claim to be organising against. This is a huge fucking problem on the left, and it’s one thing the second wave feminists got entirely right, despite all their other issues.

#pro-child #pro-old people #pro choice #marginalised people #marginalised groups #hating kids isn’t a personality ffs people #people who hate kids hate disabled people too #bigotry #cw dv reference #reproductive rights #reproductive justice

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theartistknownaslymond · 2 years

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Whumptober 2022 day 14

Desperate Measures | Failed escape | “I’ll be right behind you.”

A prompt from @stripedroseandsketchpads: Oonagh *did* canonically try to break out from the seraglio w Khaireddin one time…

She sure did! This one in the AU is set immediately after Breathe for Two (see fic list pinned post on my dash). Oonagh is not to be fucked with. Unfortunately, she’s also not able to succeed this time.

Sorry for the delay posting! I’m trying to get back on track, I really am :’)

CW: pregnancy and symptoms of low blood pressure, references to terrorism training and guns, also to DV. I’m afraid Graham Reid Malett also turns up, so be prepared for that: some blood and violence.

---

Oonagh waited until it was dark. By then she knew she was in control of the symptoms she'd experienced since trying to leave the ashram earlier that day. She still felt light-headed if she rushed a task, and her skin was clammy, her stomach in turmoil, but these were sensations a woman in her third trimester could put into context and deal with. Provided they didn't worsen; provided she was otherwise healthy.

Oonagh, after six months of work on the ashram, of good food and good friendships and no Cormac O'Connor, felt the healthiest she'd been in years.

Light-headedness aside, of course.

So since Swami Geetesh's visit she had used her seething fury to plan and to prepare. He had made it quite clear that he considered her little more than a vessel, a carrier for the child that he hoped belonged to Francis Crawford. What the fuck he wanted to do with the child if that was the case was anyone's guess - and what would happen if the child turned out to be Cormac's was an even more troubling unknown. But Oonagh had promised herself never again to be in a position of vulnerability and subordination to a man. Never again to let someone else dictate what her body was for and how it should look. She would not sit meekly in her room and wait for her world to be snatched away.

So during the afternoon, she'd torn the cotton sheets on her bed into strips and soaked them in the small bathroom sink - you didn't spend a lifetime in the fashion industry without learning a thing or two about the properties of fabric and how to improve the strength of cotton fibres. At least, you didn't if you had the kind of quick, ready mind Oonagh had always had, the kind of mind that thrived on stimuli and newness and on understanding every little thing that went on around her.

She took a bag of carob brownies a friend had baked from her bag and made herself eat half of one for strength and focus, and she wrapped the rest in a select parcel of only the most necessary clothes. And then she waited, doing breathing exercises, rubbing her hands over and over her huge belly, talking to the child she carried inside her in Irish, muttering low under her breath.

The child wriggled in response, as restless as Oonagh felt in the little room. She murmured comradely reassurance - she told them to save their kicks for Swami Geetesh, although if mummy could, she would make sure they never had to meet him.

Sunset came slowly, agonisingly slowly. It couldn't really be seen from her window, she just had to wait as the light changed and the gaps between the trees disappeared. The towering, straight trunks looked like bars layering jail cell after jail cell outside her room, but as twilight deepened, engulfing their bases and the heights of their boughs beyond what Oonagh could see, the darkness unlocked opportunity.

She checked her watch and wondered whether she ought to wait, in case someone was tasked with bringing her an evening meal. But there had been no scents rising from downstairs, no sounds of cooking - no sounds at all, in fact.

So Oonagh, nervous from waiting so long already, made her choice and pushed the window open. It would be a tight fit for her swollen, co-occupied body, but she would manage. She secured the knotted rope of wet sheets to the heavy wooden bed, ensuring the furniture was wedged tight against the wall already and wouldn't give her away with any screeching movement across the floor.

She had changed out of her flowing red dress and pulled on an old pair of dyed leggings and a top that was loose without being baggy. She tied her long black hair back, knotted the bundle of essentials she had chosen in a makeshift papoose held above her belly, and took a deep, soothing breath - part meditation, part catwalk prep, part eyeing up the target on the provo’s training range as she tightened her finger on the trigger of a Libyan rifle.

She squirmed backwards out of the window, her bare toes reaching into the night air, flailing until she got her angle right, and then flexing against the wooden walls of the building, her fists knotted in wet wraps of torn sheets. She allowed herself one more quiet promise in Irish made directly to the child, and then paused to listen again to the silence.

The water from the taut cotton was dripping steadily on the wooden floor of her room, her blood was rushing and she felt a headache building at the base of her skull - if she took too long about this, she risked a return if the light-headedness. She risked a fall from a height she most certainly couldn't afford.

Oonagh clenched her teeth and unwound one hand from the rope of sheets, moving it lower, rewrapping it securely before she unwound her second hand.

Her knuckles felt squeezed and bruised, but the tactic kept her secure. With each steady movement, accompanied by each steady breath, she recited a favourite poem in her mind, line by line, one foot then the other, one hand unwrapped, rewrapped, then the other: I won’t go back to it – my nation displaced into old dactyls oaths made by the animal tallows of the candle – land of the Gulf Stream, the small farm, the scalded memory, the songs, that bandage up the history, the words tha rhythm of the crime

where time is time past. A palsy of regrets. No. I won’t go back. My roots are brutal: I am the woman - a sloven’s mix of silk at the wrists, a sort of dove-strut in the precincts of the garrison - who practices the quick frictions, the rictus of delight and gets cambric for it, rice colored silk. I am the woman in the gansy-coat on board the Mary Belle, in the huddling cold, holding a half-dead baby to her as the wind shifts east and north over the dirty water of the wharf

mingling the immigrant guttural with the vowels of homesickness who neither knows nor cares that a new language is a kind of scar and heals after awhile into a possible imitation of what went before

Her feet touched crisp leaf matter and dry, gritty soil. She let out another deep breath and freed her hands, laying the palms against the wooden sides of the house and checking that her body was still with her, working with her, supporting her. The ache in her head hadn't worsened, and deep breathing settled her nausea and the floating feeling inside her chest and brow.

She slipped her sandals back on, but it didn't seem advisable to go by foot, she realised that with grim certainty. She was managing, but she didn't want to risk collapsing in the woods. She wanted to escape, not put her child at risk. At least in a car she would be sitting. She would be comparatively still. She would be able to get off the ashram, and on the I-93 she'd find someone who could help get her the rest of the way to Vegas.

With a pang of regret, she noticed it hadn't even occurred to her to approach the friends she'd had here. Who knew what they would do if Swami Geetesh asked it of them? She couldn't trust anyone in this place if she couldn't trust him.

She shuffled round the building, keeping close to the walls. Light radiated from only one room, escaping the cracks in the curtains, but she ducked low and crawled beneath the level of the sill.

In the front yard there were two cars - the truck and the saloon. Geetesh's housekeeper - Donati, Oonagh had thought her name was, Ma Dānti - was instructing a man as he carried a heavy-looking wooden rocking chair into the house. Oonagh held her breath - it must have been the one meant for her room, which meant she didn't have much time before they'd realise she was gone. There was no sign of Geetesh, though, so she figured they would spend a few extra minutes panicking without their leader.

She steeled herself and ran in as low a crouch as her belly allowed across to the truck once both figures had gone inside the house. Her hands were steady and her breathing was controlled when she silently popped the door, her fingers hooked under the metal handle. She kept one eye on the house - the door was open, but still the only light was from the room on the corner, which must have been large to have so many windows.

Her hope was that the man who had brought the chair might have left his keys in the truck, but - no dice.

"Go hlfreann leat!" she spat, and pulled the hard plastic cover under the steering wheel down, more annoyed than inconvenienced by the lack. She knew how to hotwire, just as she knew how to fuse an improvised explosive. Long supermodel's fingers worked quickly, tugging and twisting the right components until she had the two wires she needed, held ready in her hands. Did she wait until she heard a commotion from the house? Did she just go?

Shite, she realised she should have done something to disable the saloon. She'd been too keen to leave, too smug with the knowledge that she had the skills to do so.

Oonagh glanced back at the house. There didn't seem to have been any change in the situation there, yet.

Crouched low, she moved round the from of the truck to the saloon, which was at least concealed by the shadow of the bigger vehicle. It made it easier to get inside, pull the bonnet, and lift it high enough to snatch the spark plug without being visible from the house.

She went back to the truck again, the spark plug gripped tight in her hand, the other one soothing the excited child in her belly.

"Oh, you're enjoying this, are you?" she whispered. Pride overrode the moment of trepidation she felt as she imagined her child - the child of Cormac, after all? - attending the same training she'd undergone.

She picked up the wires as she'd left them and didn't hesitate to touch them together now. The little spark made her blink, dazzled momentarily as her eyes came to terms with the darkness again, now filled with the rumbling of the truck's engine. Then she stood, one foot in the truck, one hand on the door, and realised the latter was resisting her attempt to close it.

She turned with a gasp and saw Swami Geetesh standing too near, his large hand preventing her from slamming the truck door closed.

"No," she couldn't stop the word. Like when she knew it would only wind Cormac up further to hear her object, but she had to object anyway.

Geetesh said nothing. He looked white with fury and he ripped the door from her hand, throwing it wide open and grabbing at her arm with a pinching grip.

She'd come too close to freedom to go quietly back now. She didn't give a shit who was working for him - she'd make them doubt their loyalty all right. She hollared loud enough to make her throat raw. She bellowed and screamed and held onto the steering wheel with the hand that still held the spark plug from the saloon. She kicked at him with her woefully soft sandals and remembered the catharsis of group meditation, the catharsis of Francis Crawford encouraging her to really scream into the mic during one recording session they'd shared.

She knew he was stronger than her. She knew she couldn't keep this up long, it was already making her temples howl with pain and making blackness seep into her vision.

So while she still had the strength to, she let him drag her from the car and used the momentum of her body to swipe at him with the sharper end of the spark plug.

He turned his head, but the metal grazed through his thick, guinea gold hair, and Oonagh pressed hard against the resistance beneath her weapon - she dragged it along his scalp and let it slam into the upper part of his chest. An ineffective injury, but an injury nonetheless.

Blood began to seep through the strands of his hair and he slapped her, open-palmed, so the shock of it made her drop the spark plug, her body trembling, remembering the touch of Cormac O'Connor.

"Daso," he said commandingly. "Where are you going? Ma Dānti has prepared you a meal."

"I'm not hungry," she sneered and spat in his face.

He closed his eyes momentarily and shook her in his grip before wiping it from his cheek. "There is a chair and a reading light."

"I don't want to sit," she raised the arm he wasn't holding and went to claw her nails into the wound in his scalp.

He grabbed her wrist before she could, but all she had hoped for was to make him realise she'd fight him the whole way.

He ground his teeth, his jaw bulging angrily though he tried to keep up the cool, impassive act. "Then pace the room until your heart is content, but know this: you will not be leaving it again until the child comes."

"You won't have my child," Oonagh told him.

"You can't stop me, my dear," he returned, his nose coming near to hers as he finally allowed his anger to seep through into his voice.

***

The poem is Mise Eire by Eavan Boland (1983), a response to Padraig Pearse’s poem of the same name (”I am Ireland”) and against a whole genre of comparing the island to a mythological woman.

#whumptober2022 #whumptober #character: oonagh o'dwyer #character: graham reid malett #band au: disorderly knights #kinda?#every day i write the book

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isthisstorysafe · 1 year

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Brigham Vaughn:

The Williamsville Inn series (4). M-M. Modern. At least one bi lead. Needs a proofreader. CW: ghosting; being fired unfairly; expectation for unmarried child to look after parents; rejection; divorce; co-parenting.

Rules of the Game: Evanston River Otters series (1,2,*,4,5). M-M. Sports. *Doesn't appear to be a #3 but Zane & Ryan's story (Road Rules) really belongs in this series, probably as #1, thus shifting the numbers along. Other Rules of the Game / Relationship Goals series - focusing on other teams - exist & interrelate; Bending The Rules (RotG:TFC 1) probably immediately precedes this lot & The Husband Game (RG:TFC 1) & the series to follow from it follow on from these & feature the Toronto Fisher Cats team. I think there are references to someone else's M-M hockey series, but I don't recall whose. Acknowledges trans. Younger, bigger partner tops first / older, bigger partner tops (first). Readable. CW: arrest; worrying about relative's safety; brawling; absent parents; historic suicide; career-ending injury; gambling debts; illness causing mood swings & aggression; indirect sexual abuse by a parent; having to pay for someone else's choices; bad parent; being a carer; power imbalance; historic fatal crash; historic infant death; historic death of a spouse; escalating verbal fights to physical ones; anti-fraternisation policies; dementia; brain damage; fatal disease in middle age; degenerative condition; eating disorder; feuding parents; child seeing very ill parent; being cuckolded by a colleague; being cuckolded by best friend; friend keeping secrets about one from one; best friends falling out; grief; unrequited love; lead with a known crush that started before the other lead's last relationship ended; being outed; abuse of fame to molest & sexuality coerce victims; having a child with ADHD; child destroying another's work; injured animal; domestic abuse of multiple types; cheating; parent with abusive partner; financial insecurity; escaping dv with nothing; public abuse for doing the right thing; public proposal.

Rules of the Game: Toronto Fisher Cats series (1). M-M. Sports. Bi lead. Acknowledges poly & gender non-conforming. Bigger partner tops first, without discussion. Solid. Readable. CW: having to choose between relationship & career; career-threatening injury; relationship with someone who has a crush on a third party; one parner's job 'more important' than the other's; panic attack; extreme work-stress; American 'healthcare'; parent's needs impinging on life.

Relationship Goals: Toronto Fisher Cats series (1,2). M-M. Sports. Bi lead. Pan lead. Acknowledges non-binary & poly. Bigger lead tops first. Read more. CW: upstaging someone's proposal; American 'healthcare'; historic eating disorder; significant debts to friends; physical vulnerabilities; abusive parent; being non-contact with family; pregnancy; drunk-driving; historically looked-after child; ex marrying someone else; not getting symptoms checked out; hospitalisation; non-elective surgery; career-threatening illness; erectile dysfunction; secrets; potential loss of career; loss of career due to misconduct; pregnancy; alcohol addiction.

Also writes Pendleton series including poly relationships as well as kinky queer ones.

#book review #content warnings #cws #gay romance #lgbtqia+#romance novels #tws #books and reading #does the dog die #sex reference #trigger warnings

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nellievances · 2 years

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What do u think of the whole think with Amber’s GF and that domestic abuse situation bc I know they said the cop was being homophobic but it was revealed that the cop is actually gay and has taken part in LGBTQ donations. Is there more info abt this?

ACAB!

#those are my thoughts thank you!!!!#also in reference to your question there might be!? i’ll look for an article or such tomorrow if i get a chance #but honestly c*ps have a historic rate of dv against their partners and historically never help victims of dv so… take that as u will #i think just bc that person is gay doesn’t mean they were not acting like a fucking c*p in that situation #idk i truly know nothing except taysa has said that the situation was a misunderstanding and they are still good with each other #and based on the previous c*p testimony… it’s safe to say i believe taysa and amber more on the situation #also i want to say the c*p being gay doesn’t stop them from being discriminatory in their job practices m #they don’t get like a free pass if that makes sense #allie answers #anti johnny depp #i stand with amber heard #abuse cw

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seo1code-blog · 7 years

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What is a valid #Hreflang ?

What is a valid Hreflang?

Sometimes users of our Hreflang testing tool see an error like this and get baffled:

Invalid hreflang (en_US) found in HTML.

Why is en_US incorrect? Because the correct way to write a language code is with dashes, not underscores. The correct value is en-US.

What are valid values for Hreflang?

A valid hreflang can be specified as:

A 2-character language code (e.g. “en“), or

a combination of language and region code (e.g. “en-US“), or

a combination of language and script code (e.g. “sr-Cyrl” or “sr-Latn“), or

a combination of language, script and region codes (e.g. “sr-hu-Latn“)

A special value of “x-default”, used for country/language selectors and redirector pages. These pages are not specific to any language/locale. Users either choose their language/country (e.g. from a map or dropdown box), or the website uses the IP address of the visitor to this page and automatically redirects them to the page that is appropriate for them.

Examples of invalid Hreflang

Here are some examples of invalid language codes found recently by the online testing tool. See if you can figure out why these codes are incorrect:

en_US: Underscore used instead of hyphen

en-en: The second “en” is incorrect because “en” is not a valid region code.

en-UK: “uk” is not a valid region code. Use “en-GB”.

us-en: The order is inverted. It should be “en-US”.

ua: ua is not a language code. It is a region code. So it is incorrect to use it by itself, i.e. without a language code.

cmn-CN: The country code for China is correct (this page was in Chinese and the URL was a .cn URL. The language code is incorrect.

Valid Codes for Reference

Valid Language Codes (2-character ISO-639-1 Codes)

A list of valid 2-character language codes is as follows (the format is ISO 639-1): aa, ab, ae, af, ak, am, an, ar, as, av, ay, az, ba, be, bg, bh, bi, bm, bn, bo, br, bs, ca, ce, ch, co, cr, cs, cu, cv, cy, da, de, dv, dz, ee, el, en, eo, es, et, eu, fa, ff, fi, fj, fo, fr, fy, ga, gd, gl, gn, gu, gv, ha, he, hi, ho, hr, ht, hu, hy, hz, ia, id, ie, ig, ii, ik, io, is, it, iu, ja, jv, ka, kg, ki, kj, kk, kl, km, kn, ko, kr, ks, ku, kv, kw, ky, la, lb, lg, li, ln, lo, lt, lu, lv, mg, mh, mi, mk, ml, mn, mr, ms, mt, my, na, nb, nd, ne, ng, nl, nn, no, nr, nv, ny, oc, oj, om, or, os, pa, pi, pl, ps, pt, qu, rm, rn, ro, ru, rw, sa, sc, sd, se, sg, si, sk, sl, sm, sn, so, sq, sr, ss, st, su, sv, sw, ta, te, tg, th, ti, tk, tl, tn, to, tr, ts, tt, tw, ty, ug, uk, ur, uz, ve, vi, vo, wa, wo, xh, yi, yo, za, zh, zu

Valid Region Codes (2-character ISO-3166-1 Codes)

And here are all the valid region codes (ISO 3166-1 Alpha 2 format; note that the code for the United Kingdom is “GB”, not “UK”): AD, AE, AF, AG, AI, AL, AM, AO, AQ, AR, AS, AT, AU, AW, AX, AZ, BA, BB, BD, BE, BF, BG, BH, BI, BJ, BL, BM, BN, BO, BQ, BR, BS, BT, BV, BW, BY, BZ, CA, CC, CD, CF, CG, CH, CI, CK, CL, CM, CN, CO, CR, CU, CV, CW, CX, CY, CZ, DE, DJ, DK, DM, DO, DZ, EC, EE, EG, EH, ER, ES, ET, FI, FJ, FK, FM, FO, FR, GA, GB, GD, GE, GF, GG, GH, GI, GL, GM, GN, GP, GQ, GR, GS, GT, GU, GW, GY, HK, HM, HN, HR, HT, HU, ID, IE, IL, IM, IN, IO, IQ, IR, IS, IT, JE, JM, JO, JP, KE, KG, KH, KI, KM, KN, KP, KR, KW, KY, KZ, LA, LB, LC, LI, LK, LR, LS, LT, LU, LV, LY, MA, MC, MD, ME, MF, MG, MH, MK, ML, MM, MN, MO, MP, MQ, MR, MS, MT, MU, MV, MW, MX, MY, MZ, NA, NC, NE, NF, NG, NI, NL, NO, NP, NR, NU, NZ, OM, PA, PE, PF, PG, PH, PK, PL, PM, PN, PR, PS, PT, PW, PY, QA, RE, RO, RS, RU, RW, SA, SB, SC, SD, SE, SG, SH, SI, SJ, SK, SL, SM, SN, SO, SR, SS, ST, SV, SX, SY, SZ, TC, TD, TF, TG, TH, TJ, TK, TL, TM, TN, TO, TR, TT, TV, TW, TZ, UA, UG, UM, US, UY, UZ, VA, VC, VE, VG, VI, VN, VU, WF, WS, YE, YT, ZA, ZM, ZW

Valid Script Codes (4-character ISO 15924 Codes)

All valid script codes are as follows (the format is ISO 15924): Adlm, Afak, Aghb, Ahom, Arab, Aran, Armi, Armn, Avst, Bali, Bamu, Bass, Batk, Beng, Bhks, Blis, Bopo, Brah, Brai, Bugi, Buhd, Cakm, Cans, Cari, Cham, Cher, Cirt, Copt, Cprt, Cyrl, Cyrs, Deva, Dsrt, Dupl, Egyd, Egyh, Egyp, Elba, Ethi, Geok, Geor, Glag, Goth, Gran, Grek, Gujr, Guru, Hang, Hani, Hano, Hans, Hant, Hatr, Hebr, Hira, Hluw, Hmng, Hrkt, Hung, Inds, Ital, Java, Jpan, Jurc, Kali, Kana, Khar, Khmr, Khoj, Kitl, Kits, Knda, Kore, Kpel, Kthi, Lana, Laoo, Latf, Latg, Latn, Leke, Lepc, Limb, Lina, Linb, Lisu, Loma, Lyci, Lydi, Mahj, Mand, Mani, Marc, Maya, Mend, Merc, Mero, Mlym, Modi, Mong, Moon, Mroo, Mtei, Mult, Mymr, Narb, Nbat, Nkgb, Nkoo, Nshu, Ogam, Olck, Orkh, Orya, Osge, Osma, Palm, Pauc, Perm, Phag, Phli, Phlp, Phlv, Phnx, Plrd, Prti, Rjng, Roro, Runr, Samr, Sara, Sarb, Saur, Sgnw, Shaw, Shrd, Sidd, Sind, Sinh, Sora, Sund, Sylo, Syrc, Syre, Syrj, Syrn, Tagb, Takr, Tale, Talu, Taml, Tang, Tavt, Telu, Teng, Tfng, Tglg, Thaa, Thai, Tibt, Tirh, Ugar, Vaii, Visp, Wara, Wole, Xpeo, Xsux, Yiii

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marymosley · 5 years

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Delhi HC: Divorce cannot be granted only on Ground of Irretrievable breakdown of Marriage

It cannot be missed out that in a latest, landmark and extremely laudable judgment titled SG Vs RKG in MAT.APP.(F.C.) 5/2018 delivered on July 8, 2019 and authored by Justice Jyoti Singh for herself and Justice GS Sistani of Delhi High Court, it has been categorically and convincingly held that irretrievable breakdown of marriage alone cannot be a ground of divorce and can only be considered as a circumstance by the Court if it is merged with cruelty. This is certainly a hugely significant development with far reaching consequences and all the litigants in such similar cases must always keep this commendable ruling in mind! It has to be borne in mind that the Delhi High Court was hearing an appeal challenging a decree of divorce, passed by the Family Court in a petition filed by the respondent.

First and foremost, the ball is set rolling in para 1 wherein it is pointed out that, “The present appeal has been filed challenging the judgment dated 23.09.2017 passed by the Family Court in HMA No. 783/14 whereby the petition under Section 13(1)(ia) of the Hindu Marriage Act, 1955 (hereinafter referred to as ‘HMA’) filed by the respondent/husband for dissolution of marriage has been allowed and the marriage has been dissolved by a decree of divorce.”

Be it noted, it is then pointed out in para 2 that, “The relevant facts necessary for the disposal of the present appeal are that the parties got married on 06.07.1989 as per Hindu rites and ceremonies at Shahjahanpur, U.P. Two sons were born out of the said wedlock on 09.08.1990 and 29.10.1992 respectively and are in the care and custody of the Appellant at Janakpuri, Delhi. The parties are living separately since the year 2008.”

As it turned out, para 3 then makes the picture of this case more clear by pointing out in detail that, “Disputes and differences having arisen between the parties, the respondent/husband filed a petition under Section 13(1)(ia) of HMA seeking dissolution of marriage by passing a decree of divorce on the ground of ‘cruelty’. The grounds on which the divorce petition was filed were that it was a simple marriage and no dowry articles were demanded by the respondent herein. It was pleaded by the respondent (petitioner in the Family Court) that since the very beginning, the appellant (respondent before the Family Court) was not inclined to live in the matrimonial home with his other family members and showed her aggressive attitude. In order to get mental peace in his matrimonial life, the respondent herein started residing separately from his other family members but still the attitude of the appellant did not change. The respondent further pleaded that the appellant always ridiculed him in social circle because he had studied only up to class 10th whereas the appellant is post graduate in economics. It was also pleaded by the respondent that the appellant never used to do the household work and picked up a quarrel whenever asked to do the same.”

Delving deeper, it is then pointed out in para 4 that, “The further case of the respondent was that the appellant used to beat him up with the help of her brother to pressurize him to transfer the entire property in her name and the appellant had filed a complaint on 02.01.2009 with PS Janakpuri. Both children, according to him, were under the dominance and control of the appellant and she always alienated him from the children. She even filed a false and fabricated complaint at the CAW Cell but due to lack of evidence, the same was disposed of against her. The appellant is also stated to have filed a case under Section 12 of the DV Act.”

While continuing in the same vein, it is then further pointed out in para 5 that, “The respondent was also aggrieved that the appellant never respected the elders and other family members of the respondent and very often abused them. Her conduct was such that the respondent had gone into depression and even suffered losses in the business and was thus constrained to file the divorce petition.”

On the contrary, we then notice that the appellant while presenting an entirely different version and contesting the petitioners version as is illustrated in para 6 which states that, “The appellant contested the petitioner by filing her written statement on 26.05.2010. It was pleaded therein that she was never given even a single penny for running the household expenses in the last 3 years; she was ill-treated by her in-laws; on many occasions she had been turned out of the matrimonial home; all her streedhan was misappropriated by her in-laws; the respondent was ill-tempered and violent and both she and her children remained in a state of tension, depression, constant fear and trauma, and that the present petition is only a counter blast to her DV Act case. On merits, the appellant had denied the cruelties alleged in the petition. It was pleaded that she was often beaten for bringing insufficient dowry. The respondent was for the last 3 years having his meals in his brother’s house and in fact, it was her brother who was with great difficulty looking after the basic needs of the appellant and her two sons.”

To be sure, it is then spelt out in para 7 that, “In the replication filed by the respondent, he reiterated the averments made in the petition and denied those in the written statements which were contrary to his case. On 08.12.2010, the following issues were framed by the Family Court:

“(i) Whether the respondent has treated the petitioner with cruelty? OPP

(ii) Whether the petitioner is entitled to decree of dissolution of marriage U/s. 13(1)(ia) of HMA? OPP

(iii) Relief”.”

Furthermore, it is then stated in para 8 that, “In support of his case, the respondent examined himself as PW-1 and tendered his affidavit in evidence as Exhibit PW-1/1 and relied upon documents viz. Exhibit PW-1/A to E. Documents CW-1/D and E were photocopies and were marked as Mark X and Y. He was cross-examined by the appellant herein. In order to prove his case, the respondent also examined PW-2, who was the record clerk from DDU Hospital with reference to the MLC of the respondent Mark PX-1. PW-3 was the Head Constable from PS Janakpuri who brought the DD Register to prove the DD entry no. 36B dated 11.07.2008 which was a complaint filed by the appellant. He testified that the record of the complaint had been destroyed. He brought the photocopy of the MLC dated 11.07.2008 and which was marked as Mark B. PW-4 was the CMO from DDU Hospital, who was brought to prove the MLC prepared by Dr. Sajid on 11.07.2008 as Dr. Sajid had left the Hospital and his whereabouts were not known.”

Needless to say, para 9 then states that, “In support of her case, the appellant wife tendered her affidavit in evidence vide Exhibit DW-1/A and relied on documents Exhibit DW-1/1 to DW-1/3. She was extensively cross-examined by the respondent. Son of the parties namely Ankit Gupta appeared as RW-2 and tendered his affidavit in evidence as Exhibit RW-2/A and relied on the Bank Account statement of the respondent as Mark A. RW-3 is Niranjan Garg, the brother of the appellant, who tendered his affidavit in evidence as Exhibit RW-3/A and relied on a copy of the Bank Passbook of RW-1 as Exhibit RW-3/1. RW-4 was the Record Clerk from DDU Hospital who proved the MLC of Niranjan Garg and identified the signatures of the doctors on the MLC.”

To put things in perspective, it is then envisaged in para 10 that, “The Family Court after examining the pleadings and the evidence on record, noticed that the parties jointly owned two houses, one in which they were living and the other was let out and the rent was being received by the appellant. It has come on record that the respondent is living on the first floor whereas the appellant is residing on the ground floor of the matrimonial home. As regards the MLC’s produced by both sides, the Family court found that in the MLC of the respondent there was a history of assault as mentioned by the Police but the perpetrator of the assault was not mentioned. In the MLC produced by the appellant, of her brother, RW-3, the claim of the appellant that in the quarrel both the respondent and her brother sustained injuries was found as not amounting to an act of cruelty on the part of the appellant.”

Truth be told, it is then revealed in para 11 that, “The Family Court, however, came to a finding that the appellant was not cooking food for him, she was comfortable with her sons and would render no emotional support to her husband and his non-contribution to the house tax and electricity charges etc. could be understood, as he was earning a meagre amount, by doing a typing job and had no kind of support from the appellant. The Family Court has heavily relied on the cross-examination of the appellant where according to the Court, she had admitted that she alleged extra-marital relationship of the respondent with his Bhabhi and concluded that such single utterance amounted to grave mental cruelty to the respondent as a marital life is based on trust and faith between the parties.”

Not stopping here, it is then held in para 12 that, “In addition to the above, the Family Court found that in any event, the parties had been living separately since 2008 and the marriage was dead for all purposes. To allow such a marriage tocontinue only for name sake, would be travesty of justice and as the appellant only ridiculed the respondent because of his low educational status and traumatized him in various ways, the marriage deserved to be dissolved.”

To add muscle and credibility to its findings, it is then held in para 13 that, “Reliance was placed on the judgments in MAT Appeal (FC) 36/2014 decided on 21.10.2016 titled Sandhya Kumari & Ors. vs. Manish Kumar & Ors., Madhvi Ramesh Dudani vs. Ramesh K. Dudani, 2006 (2) Mh LJ 307 and Shrikumar V. Unnitan vs. Manju K. Nair, 2007 (4) KHC 807, where the concept of cruelty was blended by the Court with irretrievably breakdown of marriage to pass a decree of divorce.”

After observing in para 14 that, “We have heard learned counsels for the parties and examined their rival submissions together with the pleadings and evidence on record”, it is then held in para 15 that, “A perusal of the pleadings and evidence exchanged between the parties indicates that the basic cause of differences having arisen between the parties was the difference in their level of education as the appellant is a post graduate while the respondent is 10th pass. Respondent was admittedly well off financially at the time when the marriage was solemnized but eventually he suffered losses in business and this became a contributory factor in the differences getting enlarged between the parties. The judgment of the family court reveals that both the parties had claimed that mutual duties and obligations were not being fulfilled towards each other, such as the appellant wife was not cooking food; was comfortable with her sons and was even guilty of assaulting the respondent in support of which an MLC was produced. The respondent/husband on the other hand did not pay any maintenance to the wife and had assaulted the brother of the appellant on account of which he sustained injuries. He never paid household expenses either, such as, electricity bills, house tax, etc. The Family Court, however, has not given any finding as to how these alleged acts by the appellant amounted to cruelty. The petition had been filed by the respondent/husband seeking a decree of divorce under Section 13 (i) (i-a) of HMA and an issue was framed as to whether the appellant had treated the respondent with cruelty. The respondent, however, could not prove any of these allegations. In the absence of the respondent substantiating, with evidence, the acts alleged a decree cannot be passed. In fact, the Family Court has itself not given any finding how the allegations in the petition were proved or how they amounted to cruelty.”

In hindsight, it is then further observed in para 16 that, “A perusal of the impugned judgment shows that what has primarily weighed with the Family Court to conclude that the appellant had treated the respondent with mental cruelty was the alleged deposition of the wife in her cross-examination that she had alleged that her husband had extramarital relationship with his bhabhi. In fact, the Family Court has observed in para 27 of the judgment that the appellant has in her cross-examination admitted that she had made such an allegation. This has heavily weighed with the Family Court to come to a conclusion that this single utterance by the wife amounted to grave mental cruelty towards the husband. The Family Court has observed that the appellant being an educated lady and an owner of two joint properties, given to her by her husband, should not have defamed him in such a manner. Another factor which has weighed to the Family Court is that the parties have been separated since 2008 and it was practically a dead marriage and thus applying the judgments in the case of Sandhya Kumari (supra), it is found that there is an irretrievable breakdown of marriage.”

What’s more, while lifting curtains on the grave charges levelled, it is then pointed out in para 19 that, “The argument is that in the written statement the appellant had averred that she was tortured for getting insufficient dowry and the respondent along with Shashi Gupta used to beat her every now and then. Her jethani Smt. Shashi Gupta used to interfere in every matter connected with her and used to often shout and scream to humiliate her. It is in this context that the appellant has volunteered in the cross examination that her husband along with her bhabhi used to abuse her and threaten her and that is why she dragged his name with the bhabhi. He clarified that there was no allegation that the respondent was having an extra-marital affair with the bhabhi. He submitted that no such statement was made in the cross-examination or any part of the pleadings before the Family Court and the question of admitting such a statement did not arise.”

More crucially, it is then enunciated in para 20 that, “Having perused the written statement and the cross-examination we are in agreement with the learned counsel for the appellant that the Family Court has erred in holding that the appellant had admitted to having made an allegation of extra-marital affair of her husband with his bhabhi. The cross-examination and the written statement do not support this observation of the Family Court. Thus, taking this as an admission and making this as a ground of mental cruelty so as to dissolve the marriage between the parties, in our view, is erroneous.” We thus see that the Delhi High Court did not mince any words to point out where the Family Court erred in its findings!

Most crucially, it is then very rightly held by the Delhi High Court in para 21 that, “As regards the irretrievable breakdown of marriage, as observed by the Family Court, we find that this part of the finding of the Family Court is also erroneous and not supported from the record of the case. It has been a common case of the parties that the parties have been living together in the same house, though on different floors. The respondent had purchased the properties in the joint name of the parties, though it may have been at the instance of the appellant. The inter se allegations of the parties of not cooking food, not paying certain electricity charges, house tax, etc. for some time on account of business loss, having ego issues, about difference in educational qualifications, etc. in our view are nothing more than a normal wear and tear of an ordinary married life. The issue of cruelty having been framed, the petition could only have been allowed if the petitioner therein would have proved cruelty. We find that the petitioner therein has not been able to substantiate the allegations of cruelty made by him and thus the judgment of the Family Court dissolving the marriage between the parties suffers from infirmity of law and deserves to be set aside. No doubt, that irretrievable breakdown of marriage has been blended with cruelty in recent judgments so as to dissolve the marriage between the parties, where the marriage is completely dead and beyond repair. We do not agree with the Family Court that in the present case the marriage is beyond salvage. In any case, irretrievable breakdown of marriage by itself is not a ground under the Hindu Marriage Act, on which alone a decree of divorce can be passed. Even applying the judgments relied upon by the Family Court, the irretrievable breakdown of marriage can only be a circumstance which the Court can take into account when cruelty is proved and blend them together. We have already observed above that in this case, the respondent could not substantiate the allegations of cruelty, we cannot sustain the judgment of the Family Court on account of irretrievable breakdown of marriage alone.” Rightly so!

There can be no gainsaying the irrefutable fact that it is then finally held in the last para 22 that, “We thus find that the impugned judgment of the Family Court is not sustainable in law and we hereby set aside the same and allow the present appeal.”

In conclusion, it needs no Albert Einstein to conclude that the Delhi High Court in this latest and noteworthy judgment has very rightly taken a nuanced stand that divorce cannot be granted only on ground of irretrievable breakdown of marriage. But yes, it can certainly be a circumstance which the court can take into account when cruelty is proved and which is a ground of divorce and blend them together. In this present case since the ground of cruelty could not be proved, therefore the Delhi High Court declined to pass a decree of divorce only on account of the irretrievable breakdown of marriage and allowed the appeal while setting aside the Family Court order of dissolving the marriage on ground of irretrievable breakdown of marriage as it was not sustainable in law! Very rightly so! All the courts must always adhere to the balanced stand taken by the Delhi High Court in all such similar cases!

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foresthillsirisgardens-blog · 6 years

Link

all Bearded iris have stalks with a height of 70 cm (27 1/2 inches) and above, with branching and many buds. Each stalk, in itself, makes a stately arrangement in the garden or in a vase. In addition to a wide variety of colors and patterns, the TBs display other qualities (such as ruffling and lacing) more frequently than do the other classes. The highest award is the

Wister Medal

. Related links:

Cultivation of Bearded Irises

;

Historic Irises

;

Tall-Bearded Symposia

Example:

'Millennium Falcon'

Select a letter range to browse TB's by variety name:

Aa-Ac

; ..

Ad-Af

; ..

Ag-Aj

; ..

Ak-An

; ..

Ao-Ar

; ..

As-Av

; ..

Aw-Az

; .....

All A's, load slowly

Ba-Bc

; ..

Bd-Bf

; ..

Bg-Bj

; ..

Bk-Bn

; ..

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; ..

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; ....

All B's load slowly

Ca-Cc

; ..

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; .

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All C's load slowly

Da-Dc

; ..

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; ..

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Dk-Dn

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Do-Dr

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Ds-Dv

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Dw-Dz

; .....

All D's, load slowly

Ea-Eg

; ..

Eh-En

; ..

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All E's, load slowly

; ..

Fb-Fe

; ..

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; ..

Fl-Fp

; ..

Fq-Fz

; .....

All F's, load slowly

Ga-Gc

; ...

Gd-Gf

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: ...

Hj-Ho

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Hp-Hz

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All H's load slower

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Lj-Lo

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Lp-Lz

:..

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:...

Ma-Me

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Mf-Mi

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Mj-Mo

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Mp-Mz

:..

All M's Load slowly

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Na-Nc

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Nd-Ne

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Nf-Ni

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Nj-No

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All P's load slowy

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Sa-Sc

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Ta-Tc

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Tg-Tj

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Tk-Tn

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To-Tr

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Tw-Tz

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all T's loads slowly

;

; ..

Tall bearded Irises are in the 5 alphabetical webs following below.

An advanced search checking the box “Search all public webs” will search all the TB webs. Or you can go to a particular web and search there, Or, the best way to find something is to browse a letter range above. First web;

A through E

Second web;

F through J

Third web;

K through O

Fourth web;

P through T

Fifth web;

U through Z

Please do not enter images that are not your own without owners' permission, this is against Wiki policy. "Although the Encyclopedia is free to all, it is supported by Emembership in AIS, If you would like to help sustain this reference, for $15 you can become an Emember,

click here

." Interested in Tall Bearded Iris? Please visit:

Tall-bearded Iris Society Website

Your Observations Are Valued. Please make note of bud count, branching, purple based foliage and bloom time, etc. Because these are affected by climate, note date, year and geographic location and write these and other comments in the comment box below.

#tall bearded iris

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soovaryit · 8 years

Text

CW: DV, sexual assault, abuse

When domestic violence is spoken about in media or popular discourse it mainly refers to explicit abuse within heterosexual romantic relationships as well as being cis male on female. But obviously abuse manifests in a million different ways to a million combinations of people within in all kinds of relationships. This post is mainly a selection of articles that will act as a starting point to recognising abuse, as well as how to proceed if you believe that you are in a toxic and unhealthy relationship. This week I went to a workshop on consent and relationships, which was facilitated by the Sexual Wellbeing Foundation and aims to develop sex education beyond the physical act of sex - teaching people about what healthy relationship patterns look like and safeguarding them against abuse - education that is not as prevalent as it should be in schools, universities, workplaces - pretty much any institution you can think of.�� It can be excruciatingly difficult and even humiliating to come to terms with the fact that you’re feeling manipulated and abused but websites and projects like these provide a positive outlook and sense of community between those who have been effected. Remember to keep yourself safe and never tolerate other peoples unkindness at the expense of your own wellbeing. Identifying: Bustle - 9 Signs You're Being Emotionally Abused In Your Relationship, Because Love Shouldn't Feel Manipulative Stop Relationship Abuse - Types of abuse Livestrong - What is physical abuse in a relationship? XOJane - Domestic Violence isn’t always physical and On Being a Transgender Woman in an Abusive Relationship Galdem - Women Rape too and My Fearful Life: Growing Up With Domestic Violence Everyday Feminism - Let’s Talk About Domestic Violence in the Trans* Community Huffington Post - You’re Not Going Crazy: 5 Sure Signs You’re Being Emotionally Abused and Identifying the More Subtle Signs of an Abusive Relationship Recovering: Psychology Today - What Drives Emotional Abuse and How to Begin to Recover Healthy Place - How To Recover From Emotional Trauma of Domestic Abuse Good Therapy - Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse Brene Brown - Boundaries, Empathy and Compassion

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marymosley · 5 years

Text

Delhi HC: Divorce cannot be granted only on Ground of Irretrievable breakdown of Marriage

“(i) Whether the respondent has treated the petitioner with cruelty? OPP

(ii) Whether the petitioner is entitled to decree of dissolution of marriage U/s. 13(1)(ia) of HMA? OPP

(iii) Relief”.”

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