#cw for mentions of torture/self harm/drug use

[isawken]

so the thing is

the thing is i think about my sorry 20 year old ass taking dozens of mgs of stolen barbiturates in my one bedroom apartment luxuriously paid for by an excess of student loans playing spyro the dragon on my 11 year old playstation 2 slim living the young artist's dream just me and a cat and and memory loss skipping class to make mediocre art too high to self harm in the old fashioned "burn or cut myself" way so i didn't think the other stuff i was doing was all that bad and trying really hard to be a mediocre waitress at a mediocre faux-high-brow restaurant and finally after a month being honest with my therapist and her recommending, not telling, me to self admit to Forest View Psychiatric Hospital and i actually did because i didn't know what else to do and i got in there and they took my shoelaces and i cried for about 36 hours straight because what the fuck did i just do, until they finally gave up on the trazadone that just straight up was not working and gave me seroquel and i finally slept for a while and then just sat in the bedroom i shared with an 18 year old anorexic (who would soon ask to get transferred to the minor ward and they'd let her for reasons i'm still not clear on other than the assumption of empathy on the part of her assigned psychiatrist which is frankly hard for me to believe) because they didn't actually care if you went to the group therapies as long as you were somewhere visible for their regular 15 minute check ins but after the 3rd day of now-intermittent crying and 6 new medications and mediocre forced sleep i asked if i could take a nap in one of the quiet rooms and they let me and it was one of the best naps i ever had in my life and when i woke up i was in a great mood and my whole perspective had somehow shifted and suddenly this was a good thing i was okay with being here (i still have no idea how this happened) and i went to group therapy and i tolerated the others in therapy telling me the solution to my immense self hate was to trust that god loves me and i went to the art room and drew in coloring books with the others and chatted and a 19 year old taught me about the chemical compounds in mucinex that get you high and i got a new roommate who was also my age also bisexual and she was an opera singer and she knew danish and we chatted up a stereotypically intimidating-looking biker man who had a voice as beautiful as my roommate's and he told us as he was waiting for the single-shower room about the benefits of MDMA for trauma and how the best thing you can do when you're rolling is "the airplane" and a 48 year old pill popper mother of 4 taught me how to jam a plastic spoon into the shower button in your room so you don't have to keep pressing the button for water and a guy named zander told me a bunch of pun jokes and we started sitting together at lunch and one day it was chicken wings, like actually decent chicken wings, so he ate a bunch and then left the bones piled on his plate as he left to get another round and the woman sitting across from us leaned over, eyes honed on my face, and very gently asked if it would be okay if we could cover up the bones on our plates because it reminded her of her captivity by two men and subsequent torture, specifically when they shoved a broken handle through her foot and

and

and my reaction was, of course, to say yes yes, of course, it's no trouble at all, zander won't mind either, and he came back as we were talking, and i simply told him let's cover up our bones as i unfolded a napkin and draped it over his plate, and he nodded in immediate understanding, and i switched conversation topics to something light like oh where are you from what did you do before this what drugs did you take and it was an otherwise fine lunch as we all commiserated over our substance abuses and

and

and ever since then, even during subsequent life-changing mental breakdowns, it's never been as bad as that first one, because i think of her (i can't remember her name i wish i did she deserves me to remember her name) and i am grateful that i can look at a pile of chicken bones and be okay

as far as psych ward experiences go mine was pretty much as positive as one could get and i'm so lucky and i'm so grateful but

it wasn't until way after my experience that i learned that other psych wards gave their patients fun grippy socks.

i never got grippy socks. and even worse than that.

i never got my fucking shoelaces back.

[m-ilkiee]

Monsters: Manjiro "Mikey" Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa

“He ate my heart”

Pairings: Manjiro ‘Mikey’ Sano x female reader, Izana Kurokawa x female reader

Series summary: Your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. And now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.

Content warning generally: DARK CONTENT, Tokyo revengers AU, female reader, virgin reader, heavy smut, polyamory, Dark Impulse Mikey, Manipulative Izana, inaccurate/inconsistent university terminology, heavy angst with little comfort, betrayal, misogyny and sexism, emotional, physical and mental abuse, mental break, manipulation, gaslighting, sexual harrassment, dubious consent, noncon, drug, alcohol and substance misuse/abuse, extreme violence, use of weapons, Torture, criminal activities, PTSD, paranoia, emotional incest, power imbalance, character death(s) (not reader), anal penetration, mention of self-harm, religious guilt and trauma, religious themes, Vouyeurism, gangbang, masochism, sadism, hard kinks, strangulation (non sexual), psychological horror (more warnings to be added soon)

main masterlist||taglist link||playlist

Chapter 1: Warning Signals

chapter summary: Being friends with Emma Sano is nice, until you get on the wrong side of the Sano brothers.

cw: DARK CONTENT, NSFW, misogyny, alcohol/drug use, brief mention of violence, religious and purity culture themes, classism, slutshaming, p*rn mention, sexual assault, noncon, public initimacy, fingering (fem recieving), dacryphilia, gaslighting, manipulation, mention of vomitting, victim blaming.

wc: 10.1k

Chapter 2: Shots Fired

chapter summary: Izana Kurokawa demands your attention and he doesn’t take no for an answer. Not even when his demands are outrageous.

cw: DARK CONTENT, MISOGYNY, NSFW, r*pe mention, depictions of PTSD and CPTSD, emotional incest, incestuous assault (NOT THE SANOS), abandoment issues, violence, revenge porn, depression, filming without consent, drugging, domestic (physical and sexual) abuse, victim blaming, blackmailing, depictions of rape culture, manipulation, gaslighting, noncon, dry humping, mind break, psychological and sexual torture, use of firearms, attempted su*cides

wc: 11.6k

Chapter 3: The Lesser of Two Devils

chapter summary: Emma has a suspicion that both her brothers are into you when you all go shopping. She couldn’t be farther from the truth.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 4: The Calm

chapter summary: After your college professor tries to harass you for grades, you turn to the oldest Sano for help. But nothing comes for free, not even for Emma’s sweet friend.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 5: Act on Dark Impulses

chapter summary: You knew better than to trust Mikey and Izana. Yet you fall for their plan hook, line and sinker and live through the worst night of your life.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 6: The Closest you’ll ever get to being in Love

chapter summary: Things get sicker and twisted with the two brothers and Emma is none the wiser.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 7: Trials and Tribulations

chapter summary: You learn the hard way what happens when you refuse to be their stress relief because of your important exams.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 8: Divine Intervention

chapter summary: You are called home to bury your mother and learn that nothing has changed since you left.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 9: Lead me not into Temptation

chapter summary: Emma notices that something isn’t right with you when you come visit her in the Sano residence.

cw: coming soon

wc:

Chapter 10: Deliver Me from All Evil

chapter summary: You’ve finally broken the cycle, but at what cost?

cw: coming soon

wc:

authors notes: updates are irregular, depending on when i have time. some chapters have been re-written to fit the original storyline. don't pressure me to update and please don't be rude to me. I do not condone any negative actions done on this fic. comments, reblogs and asks are very much appreciated. if you are a minor, please refrain from interracting with this series.

taglist (please turn on your mentions in 'settings' before filling the form.): @officiallyjaehyuns @haikyuusboringassmanager @ilybbg @merrymerrykiss @cockonoi @Rindou24689 @short-cxke @kokoch4n3l @GenAwi @ryuguji-sana @nuyoo @getonite @anxious-chick @reiners-milkbiddies @kiwixpi @gh0stgirl333 @brisssaaa009 @fushiqruo @kawaiikoalagarden @damidamimongalam @raven-nevra

[writinggremlin]

Red Dead Redemption: Bound and/or gagged for the Coffee shop pals???

Helloooooo anon! Everybody give it up for the one who prompted this entire series!!! Wooooo!!!!!!

Sorry it took me so long to respond! If this is your first time hearing of this series, then you might want to check out the masterlist (linked above the CW) so that you may have all of the context.

I am answering this with part 3 because this is the main juice. This is the part that contains the main premise of this ask. Then part 4 will contain the execution, actually going through with the binding, gagging, and killing(¿).

I hope you enjoy!

(Disclaimer: There is a character mentioned in here (Damien), who is not one of my characters. He belongs to a friend of mine that I rp with. They don't have a Tumblr, but they go by ducks._.andcoffee on the platform I know them on. Their character is only used in a passing mention here, but I just thought I should give credit anyway lol.)

Masterlist

CW (above cut): (Hypothetical) Murder Mention

CW (under cut): More Murder Mentions, Suicide Mention, Self Harm Mention, Threats To Harm Others, Manipulation/Coercion, Torture Mention, Restraints, Knife, Implied Drugging Mention, Brainwashing/Mind Control

(If I missed anything, feel free to let me know!)

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Bind... Gag... Kill? (Pt. 3)

The Choice

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"WHAT?!" Kage snapped, temper boiling over.

"You just need to assign one per person," August calmly explained, "So, for example, let's say: bind Jacky, gag Sunni, and kill Mars!"

Mars objected, "HEY!! I get that I'm annoying sometimes but COME ON!!!"

August continued her explanation as if he didn't exist, "Whoever you choose to bind will be bound into a stress position, whoever you choose to gag will be made to wear that muzzle, and whoever you choose to kill will be, well, killed!"

Sunni objected too, "What the hell-- You can't just do that to us!!"

August smiled up at her, a look Jacky thought was too innocent for somebody so shamelessly unethical, "I can, and I will!" She turned back to Kage, gesturing to the three behind her, "So who will it be? Who will you choose to get what?"

Kage seemed to contemplate it, and for a moment, Jacky grew concerned.

"I choose to kill... myself."

"Hey now, you know that's not how--"

"Well FUCK that and FUCK you!! I am NOT gonna just-- choose one of them to die, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?! What-- What happened to 'I'm not gonna hurt them', HUH?!"

Her smile seemed to stretch just a little too wide, "I'm not. I won't lay a single finger on any of them! Promise!"

It went silent for a few seconds, and Jacky almost felt like she was going to puke at the idea of what she was implying.

"What. The fuck," Kage finally said, "No, seriously, WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, AUGUST?! YOU SICK, TWISTED-- FUCK-- NO!!! NO!!!! FUCK YOU, I'M NOT KILLING ANYONE YOU FUCKING-- NO!!!! FUCK YOU!! FUCK YOU!!!"

August stood there while he had his outburst, silently taking the screaming and the insults without taking even the slightest trace of offence. Or at least, that's what it looked like-- her demeanor and expression didn't change even the slightest bit. She merely just waited. Waited patiently for Kage to calm back down.

"Well..." She finally said, taking a step back. Then another, "You're either going to have to choose..." She turned and walked behind Jacky, whose heart started to beat frantically as August rested the knife she was holding right against her neck, "Or I'll have to choose for you."

Jacky raised her chin and tried to pull her neck away as much as the restraints would allow. She silently glared up at August, though no amount of that could hide the tremble in her body.

Sunni audibly thrashed against her restraints, "DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE, BITCH!!!"

Mars' eyes widened, and he looked over to Kage, "You're not actually going to kill any of us... right?"

Kage immediately shook his head, "No!! Fuck no!!! And none of ya are gonna die here. Because if any of you do and Damien finds out, he'll--"

"Ooo!!~" The sudden sound of August's voice made Jacky flinch. A dangerous thing to do in this situation, "So these three are under his protection too, hmm? Now that's interesting... I never would've guessed!"

"All of my friends are under my fiancé's protection, dipshit."

"Hm... That does throw a wrench in my plans though..." Jacky breathed a sigh of relief as the knife was lowered away from her neck. August stepped out in front of her and folded the blade back up, "Hm. Well, ok. Maybe not kill, but what about harm? I'll even let you pick the method! Is that better?"

Jacky caught the sight of Kage glaring daggers at August once again, as she stepped down and returned by his side. He clenched his jaw, his hands clenched the armrests on the chair, knuckles growing white.

"Well?"

The silence stretched on for a few more seconds, before he finally took a breath, his head dropping in defeat, "...Fine."

August clapped a few times, grinning excitedly, "Yay! Alright, then you may start whenever you're ready! Oh, and feel free to take your time with it. It's not like anyone is going to be going anywhere anytime soon."

Mars rolled his eyes, "Gee, I wonder why that is!"

She laughed, turning to face him, "Y'know, I really like you! Mars, right?"

He froze in place, stiffening like a statue, "Wait, how did you know my--"

"I have my methods!"

"Like torturing our friend?"

"Well, others may call it "torture", but I call it interrogation. I would never wish to inflict any more pain than what is absolutely necessary! Just the pin prick of a needle is all it takes-- if even that!" She laughed, turning back to Kage, "Isn't that right?"

He grumbled, "Shut up."

She put her hands up, "Ok, alright Mr. Grumpy Pants, I will. Sorry! I did get a little off track for a second there, didn't I?" She laughed, then cleared her throat, "Anyway, it's time for you to finally answer my question..."

She gestured to the others, "Who do you choose?"

Jacky's breathing picked up it's pace, becoming quicker and sharper, as the air grew still and quiet. She watched Kage as he silently looked over the three of them, his eyes slowly scanning across them one by one, his solemn expression weighing heavily on his features.

It was something that he had to do; there wasn't really a better option. She knew that, and she knew that he knew that too. But still, some part of her was still daring to hope that he wouldn't actually--

Tipping his head back, Kage let out a frustrated groan, "Bind... Mars."

Jacky's eyes widened as she watched August take the rope she presented earlier, and bring it to the metal plate in front of Mars, who looked utterly stunned.

"You're still young," Kage explained, raising his head back up to look at the other, "Probably still got some flexibility in ya. With any luck, it won't do too much damage; hopefully won't take ya too long to recover. And 'ey," He showed a half-smile that Jacky assumed was meant to be reassuring, "At least you'll have your mouth free so you can sass back and use all the sarcasm you'd like. That's gotta be somethin', right?"

Mars only gave a half-hearted chuckle and somber nod in response.

Kage's gaze seemed to linger for a moment, before dropping down to his lap, "I'm sorry, man..." he muttered.

Jacky couldn't help the tears that started pricking her eyes as the reality of the situation sank in. He was actually going through with this. And Mars getting bound meant that it was either going to be her or Sunni getting the worst option. Secretly, she hoped that he would choose Sunni for the muzzle, sparing her from the harm. Jacky looked over to the right, and found that Sunni was looking back.

Please just let her be safe. Please.

She'd gladly take the beating if it meant Sunni's safety. She wondered if she might've been feeling the same way; thinking the same thing. Maybe. It's possible. ...She looked back to Kage.

He was smart, she knew he was. He was great at thinking on his feet and strategizing. He was also great at making judgements about others, observing them and evaluating their behavior; picking apart every last detail about them until he knew them. Jacky knew that she wouldn't take it personally if he chose to hurt her.

But... did he know that?

Kage finally looked back up at August, "Gag... Sunni."

Jacky met Kage's eyes as August went to go place the muzzle in front of Sunni. A somber smile couldn't help but to cross her lips. Of course he would.

August turned back to Kage, "And that means..."

And that means...

"Harm..." He hesitated, drawing in a slow breath, before looking August dead in the eye, "...myself. I'm not hurting any of them. Fuck no."

A quiet breath of laughter escaped Jacky as she smiled further. Of course he would.

August got a dangerous glint in her eye, "Is that so?" She slowly stalked over to Kage, who kept his gaze level with hers. He didn't shrink back as she got closer, firmly holding his ground, a flame of determination alight in his eyes.

His voice was low and steady, "You aren't gonna make me. You can't make me." Jacky had to admit, it was a little eerie to hear him speak like that.

"I can't make you, hm?~" August crouched down behind him, getting close to his ear. She sounded unbothered, a little smug, even, and she wore a smirk to match, "You wanna bet?"

She placed a hand on his shoulder. Jacky could've sworn that just for a moment, just for the smallest fraction of a second, she saw him start to smile. But when she blinked, his expression only held confusion.

"What the hell are y--"

Snap.

His breath hitched.

"Sleep."

Jacky's eyes widened, and she helplessly watched as the determination, the spite, and even his very will seemed to drain from his face. She watched as the tension melted out of his muscles; as his eyes fluttered shut, and his head dropped forward. It was only a matter of seconds before he was completely limp in his seat, only being help up by the hand on his shoulder.

Snap.

August didn't even need to command him to wake, he just did so on his own. His head gradually rose, looking back up at-- no, through Jacky with glassy eyes and a blank expression. He looked empty... hollow...

A shiver ran down Jacky's spine.

August placed the knife from before into Kage's hand, "You've made your choice. Now follow through."

The restraints on his chair opened, and slowly, he stood.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

Ahaha... Whoops!! There he goes! Whoopsies!!

Turns out that you can't beat August at her own game.

Tune in next time to witness the carnage.

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Taglist: @whumperofworlds, @3-2-whump (:000!! Lookit that! A second person on the taglist!! Hello!! Hi!!! Thanks for reading, you two! :D!!)

If anyone would like to be added or removed from the taglist, please feel free to let me know!

(Holy shit I hit the tag limit. Wow.)

[venumelon]

˗ˏˋ please read the below before interacting with my works ! ´ˎ˗

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ about me

hi! my names melon!

i’m an avid manga/manhwa reader and i enjoy a multitude of fandoms and shows <3

i’m a trans man that uses he/him pronouns

NOTIXE : I’m restarting my blog bc i messed up so if you saw a dupe of this acc just ignore it lol

.ೃ࿐ dni

if you are fem aligned! as much as i love my girlies you have plenty to read on this app <3 you are more than welcome to my gn! reader works tho! just no m. reader please

you are under the age of 16! i just feel extremely uncomfortable with knowing young teens can read my works so please respect my wishes. as i sometimes write some pretty snuff like stories.

if you're racist, homophobic, fetisher, pedo etc - pretty much the normal dni type of stuff.

i do check blogs and if you don't have your age indicated or you have a weird gross vibe i will block you

.ೃ࿐ who can interact / please interact if :

male aligned / no / gender fluidreaders

anyone the age of 16

manga/manhwa readers pls my inbox is open send me a message if you want a chat!!

mlbb players

nanami kento lovers

ೃ࿐ how my content works

i sometimes write some pretty dark themes (nsfw) i’m not a huge fan of smut but i can write it if i feel like it !

i will write what the title is, what theme it is and a short content and trigger warning! if i do miss any cw/tw’s please dm me only so i can add it

im still figuring out how this app works so requests are open! they just might take a few days more than normal.

if you don’t like my content please just scroll instead of sending hate

.ೃ࿐ what i can write

as previously mentioned i can write some dark themes - so a mixture of sfw and nsfw

kinks : masochism, sadism, bondage, bdsm, exhibitionism, dirty talk, impact play, orgasm control, praise/degradation, breeding, blindfold, breath play, humiliation, voyeurism

i will not write : large age differences, step-cest, incest, beastiality and f! readers

i’ll write : dom/sub m!/ftm!/nb! reader, dilf! reader/character, service top/bottom/dom/sub, m! preg, drugging, threesomes, pegging, anal/oral, face fucking/sitting, corruption, manipulation, mutilation, kidnapping, gaslighting, blackmailing, murder, self harm, suicidal themes, cheating (only if it’s the character not the reader), cannibalism, torture, yandere, non-con/r

ೃ࿐ fandoms i write for

anime : jujutsu kaisen, chainsaw man, overlord, code geass, that time i got reincarnated as a slime, death note, tokyo ghoul, rising of the shield hero, castlevania, black butler

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etc :

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: ╰┈➤ jjk

nanami kento x gn! reader - short fluff

ೃ࿐ upcoming works :

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: ╰┈➤ childe (tartaglia) with an obsessive fatui harbinger

: ╰┈➤ star struck denji meeting a devil hunter who can wield the void

[sixofpomegranates]

"I told you, if i can't fix your problems, I'll just get rid of them."

♜𝚂𝚑𝚊𝚍𝚘𝚠♖— 𝚂.𝚁.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Unsub!Fem!Reader

A/N: !Skin Color & Ethnicity Neutral! Inspired by a book idea I have.

CW: angst 18+ | Mentions of Spencer's canon TRAUMA/Cat Adams/Murder/Crime Scenes, PTSD, GORE, failing justice system, very vague Sex Scenes,

I'd often found myself in helpless situations. I was kidnapped, tortured, drugged, held hostage, almost sacrificed... The thing that always got me through was my fundamental belief in justice.

I never did bad, always played by the rules. I helped the helpless, I caught the bad guys, and I hated myself for every ounce of harm I had to cause to survive.

I am a good person, and yet it seems to bring me nothing.

She'll be out. In a couple of days, Cat Adams is going to be out of prison.

An error of the court.

The lawyer had been high on heavy pain medication during her trial.

There will be a new court trial, according to everyone involved, but I know better than to believe in it.

The minute Cat Adams is free, she will vanish into thin air. All my suffering, all the statements of myself and my therapist, and all the times I had to stand before court and explain the torture I went through due to her have been for nothing.

I'd held back the urge to scream, cry, and vomit as I was informed about it, and by the time I am home that evening, I solely feel tired.

How much do I have to endure?

How did I always be a good person, following the rules, and yet I'm still getting fucked over?

How do the people, molding their morals as they seem fit and simply doing as they please no matter the harm they cause, always win?

I need a calm minute.

Darkness is clouding my mind; a depressive state starting to numb my bones. If I can't rely on justice, then what do I have left?

As I open the door to my apartment, I'm struck with dread.

The light in my bedroom is on, the half-opened door allowing it to illuminate the dark living room, and soft jazz music comes from my record player.

Somebody is here.

Cat isn't out yet.

It can't be her.

No.

Oxygen becomes a luxury as my body falls into a state of panic.

I grab my gun and slowly walk forward toward the bedroom. I can't hear a thing going inside, can't make out who is in there.

Pressing my eyes shut for a second, I take a deep breath and then storm inside.

"Freeze," I exclaim, taking in the scene before me.

It isn't Cat, yet there sits a barely dressed woman on my bed. A woman I know all too well.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, having her not even look up from what she is reading. She hadn't even flinched as I'd thundered in with my gun pointed at her.

"Put the gun down, Spencer. You're going to hurt yourself," she states, relaxed, going through one of the FBI files I keep locked away in my safe.

"How did you get in here?" I question her, and she finally looks at me.

"You need better locks, baby," she lectures me more than disinterested.

She has never been in my home before... at least not that I know. She usually keeps her distance, keeps it more accessible for herself to vanish before the morning, leaving me to wake up alone in a hotel bed.

"You picked my locks?"

She scrunches her nose, feigning disappointment. "Every novice is capable of getting in here. I almost feel insulted that you're surprised I managed to get in."

I finally lower my gun. This woman is a menace, but my messed up sense of self refuses to let me feel threatened by her.

She is like a dark shadow following me for over a year now, yet, I don't fear her, detest her, or want to get rid of her. Somehow I feel a connection between us – something not only coming from the nights we spent together in hotels across America.

She is almost always where I am. In the beginning, I seriously thought we would just randomly meet every other month, but she is always there.

When I am out there, hunting an unsub, my dark, little shadow follows me; when the unsub threatens to get away or harm me, my shadow devours the threat, leaving them served on a silver platter – more times than not, this happens literally.

Sitting down on my bed, I don't worry about turning my back to her. The fright of might getting stabbed by her eased after the first eight months of our... relationship. I sigh deeply while kicking off my shoes, slumping together like a sack of potatoes.

As I rest my elbows on my thighs, face buried in my hands, I feel hers on my back, softly rubbing circles into my skin.

"Where were you today?" she asks, something close to concern in her voice. "You weren't at the headquarters."

I stopped questioning how she knows information like this a while ago.

"Court," I reply as she hugs me from behind, her legs on either of my sides.

"Why?"

I chuckle weakly as she pulls me back, having me rest with my back against her chest. "You can't bare it not to know everything, am I right?"

"Pains me," she admits, wrapping one arm around me, the other running through my curls. "Diana's doing fine, by the way. They have her on this new medication that is very well-spoken of in Europe, and it appears that there are almost no side effects and just positives. They also have this new home-movie system somebody so graciously donated, and now there are many, many movie nights with James Dean, Frank Sinatra, and Fred Astaire for her to enjoy."

Relaxing into her, I smile at the knowledge that at least one Reid is doing well. My shadow had me suspicious of her as I met her as a nurse at my mom's care facility four months into our thing.

That was when I started counting one and one together:

She was at the crime scenes.

She was at my hotels.

She was everywhere.

Wigs, contacts, accents, different languages (I've counted four until now, spoken without any accent, flawlessly), different handwriting, different body languages, different walks, different names and IDs.

My shadow is smart, but somehow I intrigued her enough to come out and play. Meeting me in hotel bars, keeping up her disguises, both of us knowing it is her – me, still not exactly knowing who she is.

"Thank you, love," I tell her, and she kisses my temple.

"Now, why court?"

"Cat Adams," I tell her, triggering one of her almost medically clean information dumps.

"Catherine Adams. Alias's Cat, Miss .45, and The Black Widow Killer. Convicted for murder – over 204 – two attempted murders, one murder by proxy, 2009 attempted murders by proxy, two abductions by proxy, taking hostages, assault with an unlicensed gun, drugging, conspiring against the federal bureau of investigation–"

I interrupt her, "I was in prison because of her. She is obsessed with me."

I feel her tense up but continue her sentence, "Found guilty and to be executed by–"

I interrupt her again. "Court Error. She'll be free to go by the end of next week."

"No," my shadow says, no readable emotion in her voice.

"Just found out about it today. The system fucked up, and she'll be out to roam the streets again."

The woman behind me exhales sharply. I search for her gaze and am met with the cold stare of a predator. "She will come for you again," she states.

I nod, smiling through the tears pooling in my eyes. "I don't think I have a chance of escaping her. Don't even think the justice system is able to fix this mess once they let her out."

Getting up, I start stripping out of my clothes and walk into my bathroom. I step into my shower and wash off the signs of me crying. It has been a while since I last cried due to a helpless situation.

I feel my shadow get behind me into the shower, her arms wrapping around my naked body, her body pressing against my back.

"It's going to be okay," she vows softly, her cheek pressed against my back.

"You can't promise that," I answer croaky.

She turns me around, the warm water now running down my back. I stare at her beautiful face and naked form. I'd like to say I love every single imperfection on her body, but the feelings I have for my shadow are running so much deeper than that.

Rationally, I should avoid her, should inform the team about how deeply we are involved.

I should think of the one time we caught her at a crime scene. How she was standing there between crucified men, who'd been wanted for sex trafficking children. How impassive she was as I put my handcuffs on her, telling her her Miranda Rights.

"We're fixing this, Spencer. I promise I'll help you," she coos softly, brushing my wet hair out of my face. "I'm very good at fixing problems. I swear if push comes to shove, I'll make it go away."

My shadow has an astonishing thrive for justice. She is a dangerous weapon, yet, I am able to feel safe in her presence.

She cups my face and brings my lips to hers. I let it happen, deepen the kiss, and I counter every touch. It's dark and animalistic when we are together; it seems brutal, downright unholy, when I press her face first against the shower tiles and take what I need.

I always considered myself a gentle person, a gentle lover. I always held back, always made sure my partner came first in every instance, but my shadow thrives on seeing every part of me, no matter how depraved and selfish. She provides me with an outlet for all my pent-up feelings. She sees my ugliest, most unlovable self and still looks at me as though I am the most beautiful piece of art she ever laid her pretty eyes upon.

The darkness enveloping me when I am with my shadow is the only time I feel safe without seeing the light. It's the only time I ever consider their to be grey in the term justice.

How often does justice fail to happen, even when brought to court?

How often does a victim do everything right, and yet the perpetrator walks free?

Is my shadow truly a bad person? She never hurt anybody who didn't deserve it. The only thing speaking against her actions is the laws against vigilantism.

Maybe I should've killed Cat Adams when I had the chance; should've ignored all reason and common sense and strangled her.

My hand between her shoulder blades, I press my shadow harder against the tiles. She groans in a mixture of pleasure and pain as I glance at the scar on her trapezius muscle between her lower neck and shoulder blade.

Under the scar is a tattooed number: 1.007

Once she was taken into custody, the team and I came to many realizations:

She had no fingerprints (the skin from her fingers had been professionally and cleanly removed when she was relatively young, leaving her with now healed but fingerprint-less hands), she had no real identity, was in no system, and she was an intelligent and well-trained soldier of whatever kind.

Within two hours after her arrest, Linda Barnes, followed by men dressed in black working under the President himself, had come to get my shadow and every ounce of information we had on her.

Number 1.007 has immunity.

Number 1.007 has many names and identities, but to the nation, she's a number.

Number 1.007 is a weapon that was once chipped like a dog.

I don't know what happened to her, what organization trained her, how old she was when taken in, if she had family, or how she ended up hunting on her own without supervision.

All I know is that my shadow found me, and something within me let her let her guard down. The trained weapon considers me hers, and I welcome her claim on me.

*****

Sent home from a case two hours earlier, I exit the cab I have taken to the FBI Headquarters in Quantico.

Emily had gotten a call from Barnes. That is all I know.

I enter the FBI's Assistant Director of National Security's office, being met by her cold gaze and two police officers.

They all greet me professionally. I shake their hands, although everything within me finds it revolting.

I sit down, and they offer me coffee. I decline and question their reason for bringing me away from a case—all three exchange uncomfortable glances.

Linda Barnes speaks first, insisting that she ordered it since she found it imported I'd come here and hear it first from the officers instead of the news. Her cold gaze looks more sympathetic than I ever thought her able to be.

Then one of the officers informs me: Cat Adams is dead.

I don't know how to feel. For a moment, it just feels like somebody pulled the carpet away right under my feet. I am glad I am sitting.

Dead.

They inform me about Barnes having given them my alibi (being in a different state, working on a case). They ask me if I want to see photos of the crime scene, thinking I'd recognize something – anything – as they appear to have nothing.

I agree. Barnes assures me that I do not need to feel obligated to do so, but I agree.

Somehow I don't feel like Cat is actually dead (that the nightmare is over) until I see her body.

Symbolism.

Cat Adams was murdered in an unidentified location but presented on a silver platter in the very courthouse she gained her freedom in.

The scene presents itself right in the grand entrance hall. Right in front of the statue of Lady Justice.

The Lady's scale holds Cat Adams's heart on one side and a stag of papers (her charges) on the other.

Her lifeless body has been gutted and placed kneeling in front of the statue; with a brush in her hands, she (or rather somebody, as she was already dead for a couple of hours at this point) used her blood as ink to write "Summum ius, summa iniuria." Latin for "More law, less justice." on the ground between them.

This is my shadow's work. I can feel her energy radiating from every detail of the crime scene. I don't mention her with any word, though I should. This should scare me. I should feel more than I do.

I can't help the cops with their investigation. Cat Adams had many enemies. She hurt plenty of people. Many were angered as the verdict was revoked due to the court's errors. People had called for justice, but the law had to let her go.

This could be the work of anybody she wronged. Just not me. I have an alibi.

Barns wraps the questioning up, sending me home for a few days.

*****

I already lie in bed when I hear my apartment door opening. My brand-new home-security system goes off, but somebody enters the code and it falls silent.

The door closes, gets locked, and the security system gets activated again.

There are no sounds, and I consider the possibility of her having left again until the mattress behind me sinks in, and she snuggles up behind me.

"What the fuck have you done?" I ask her calmly, making her giggle. "Oh, big boy words."

I turn on the lamp on my bedside table, sitting up. Just now noticing the missing one on her side. How does my shadow manage to smile and be happy although she murdered somebody no 24 hours ago?

"I am serious," I say, angrier than I thought I was. "You killed Cat."

"I told you I'd help you," she says, her smile leaving her face. "Why are you angry with me?"

Pressing the heel of my palm against my eyes, I try to be calm, but my past trauma shows itself in pure anger, annoyance, and confusion. "You realize that this is not a normal conversation I should have with you, right? I should not have to explain to you why killing somebody isn't okay. D-Do I have to worry that one day you'll snap, and then I am next?"

I speak my last sentence without thinking about it. I don't fear my little shadow; I love this mystery of a woman I barely know.

Her face pulls into a hurt expression. "That's bullshit. You know I'd never hurt you, Spencer."

"Do I know? Fuck, I don't even know your name."

"That's because I don't have one," my dark shadow hisses at me, tears in her eyes. She takes a deep breath and then explains, "I told you, if I can't fix your problem, I'll just get rid of it."

She did. She had told me the – for her so logical – plan.

"I didn't think you would go that far... Or do anything at all," I admit.

A sob escapes her. "I- I didn't want to do it." She clears her throat and starts again. "I wanted to do it for what she did to you, but I was willing to simply keep an eye on her until her trial because you like your justice to be legal."

"And yet she wound up dead."

"Because she showed up here. The minute she was out, she came here, and let herself in like she owned the place," my shadow says, adding, "I told you you need better locks."

"So you killed her?"

She looks at me, irritated. "No, Spencer. I tried to talk to her. I made clear that you're mine and that I don't want her anywhere near you. She was the one attacking me. I'm not letting myself get attacked by a psychotic bitch, so I whacked her with the lamp from my bedside."

So that was why the lamp was missing.

"So it was self-defense?" I ask, tracing the deeply dark, bruised skin of her shoulder as she pulls my cardigan (the one I thought I lost) over her shoulder.

"Don't know if I'd call it self-defense since she didn't exactly have the military training advantages I have, but yeah. Sure. But it's not exactly like I could just call the cops, you know?" My shadow lifts her hand as to hint at the fact that she legally doesn't exist, then drops it again. "I didn't kill her with the lamp, but, like, it's not like there was a way to step back from the situation, so I just continued as I usually would."

"And that was the scene before Lady Justice?"

She nodded, stating, "If you can't live as a good example, you'll die as a warning for others following down your path. I tried to do it your way, and it didn't work. I don't regret having done what needed to be done to keep you safe."

Cat Adams broke me. She had me rot in prison for months; she let me live years of believing she raped me; she made me a murderer, let me think my mother was dead, that I'd caused her miscarriage...

Cat ridiculed the trauma she caused me and did what she could to convince me I was just as much of a monster as she was, so I'd let her lay her claim on me.

The woman beside me sobs, a tear running down her face. "You hate me now, don't you?"

"I don't. Could never," I answer. I delight in the knowledge that Cat finally got what she deserved.

The monster haunting my nightmares and messing with my head for so long is gone.

She underestimated my little, dark shadow and put herself in a cage with a monster just as big and scary but way more efficient than herself.

In the end, Cat Adams chose her ending herself. She could've left but refused to let go of the chance to have me. She chose her fate by challenging my shadow's claim on me and forcing her hand to keep me safe.

"I can't believe that it's over," I finally say, realizing I am crying like a child as the woman beside me cups my face in her hands. "It's over."

People say to forgive and forget. They insist on never holding a grudge and moving on, being the bigger person. Forgiveness is a cute idea, but it doesn't change that you suffer the consequences of another person's evil doings.

I laugh through the tears, savoring the relief of justice.

Cat will never again be able to hurt me.

I can move on and heal without fear.

I wrap my arms around my shadow, pulling her into the pillows with me. She cries too. Fair enough, I cry harder, but she clearly sheds tears of compassion, of love.

Who would've thought that the most real form of raw, unapologetic love I'd ever experience would come from someone that officially doesn't even exist?

"[y/n]," she whispers, making me look at her. "I don't have a real name, but I like [y/n]. That- That's all that I can give to you."

"It's more than enough," I whisper back, pressing a kiss on her forehead.

She freed me from the specter haunting me in the only way she seems to have learned how to, and although our future is uncertain, I doubt she even knows who she is herself, and one day my shadow will have to step into the light: I have laid my claim onto her just as much as she has laid hers on me.

[louthingg]

pls tell me about your favourite horror movies

idk much about the genre tbh because. i was quite easily freaked out as a kid/teenager so i just didnt watch any. but ive been trying to get into it more as an adult so i would appreciate some recommendations :)

i have an irl friend who is also really into horror movies and she gave me a list of them to watch

the crossed out ones are the ones i have watched already. the others i havent got round to yet

ok !!!! so if im going to be completely honest, i havent watched that many for the reaosn you just stated. although the genre is a main special interest, i have always had a really really horrible scare tolerance which sucks. i do best with classic horror movies—ive watched a good chunk of those so heres what i recommend:

i will rate each movie on a 1 - 10 scale and then how scary i found it 1 - 100

american psycho — 9 / 10, 25%, autistic protag, CWs: a LOT of sex ( which is not relvant to the plot so you can skip through it ), blood, mild homophobia, implied cannibalism + torture

midsommar — have not watched but ive heard its good, id look the up the CWs

re animator — already on the list but !!!!!!!!!! 11 / 10, 5%, honestly just gross, my beloved little gay men, literally fits into half the horror subgenres ( body horror weird horror, slasher, etc ) CWs: A LOT OF GORE, 1 sex scene + a sexual assault scene which you can skip through ( neither are relevant to the plot ), has a predatory character

SAW 1 — 10 / 10, 60%, cannot explain to you how horrible and good this movie is at the same time. the budget looks like it was fuckign 0 dollars but OH MY GOD the acting and the plot im going insane. also little gay men again. CWs: mild drug use ( just cigs ) / reference to more serious addiction, child abuse ( not from a parent ), gore, depictions of people being driven to insanity

the birds — 8 / 10, 3%, honestly a really silly movie but i love it. it was slightly unsettling and i didnt trust birds for a few days ! CWs: a few jumpscares, child death, mild gore

psycho — 10 / 10, 20%, definetly was unnerving, made me nervous to take a shower for a bit ( youll see ), also !!!!! SUBTLE TRANSGENDER CHARACTER !!!!! be on the lookout :3 CWs: jumpscares, mild gore, child abuse, stealing ( idk if this is a CW lmao ), reference to drug usage / addiction ( i think ?? i can’t remember )

salad fingers — 10 / 10, 30%, not a movie but !!!!! i lvoe it. youtube horror series made by a single guy, has the craziest lore. i watched all of it in 2 days, very very cool and interesting, was unnerving made me uncomfy + was honestly just gross most of the time . CWs: gore, self harm, mild racism, jumpscares, auto( ? ) cannibalism

zero day — 10 / 10, 40%, very very niche low budget found footage film, literally the MOST incredible acting ever, extremely suspenseful, fed into my hyperfixation on guns / gun laws. CWs: ‼️‼️THIS MOVIE IS ABOUT A SCHOOL SHOOTING‼️‼️ ( and contains relentless talk of them !!!!! ), suicide / self harm, mild gore, depictions of severe mental illness, mention of bullying, child death

and im sure theres more that im forgetting lmao take what you will and let me know what you think !!!!!!! <3

[riverthylacine]

I’m River/James/Weevil I’m 20 year old paleontology freak and im a queer man and I use He/Its pronouns, I am disabled and mentally Ill (AuDHD, SM, Dyslexia, OCD, C-PTSD, SchizoAffective disorder, self diagnosed Dysgraphia and Dyscalculia, IST (inappropriate sinus tachycardia) and probably POTS too(there is a postural aspect to my heart rate, as in it gets higher than my normal 100> heart rate when I stand), Chronic recurrent mononucleosis, I also suffer from chronic pain in both of my knees and bilateral hip pain and chronic bilateral low back pain(please kill me it hurts to exist)) and I’m a digital artist and shitty writer (fics) and I’m a Mixed Chicano, i live in the pnw (from socal(I miss cali so baaaaad)) I am a mobility aid User (Cane, and Ambulatory Wheelchair User)

ACAB & ALAB Housing IS a human right and cops are useless killers,

Black Lives Matter

Trans Rights are Human Rights

Proud Antifascist and a Anarcho-Communist

WEAR A FUCKING MASK IF YOURE GOING OUT TO DO ANYTHING!!!!!!!! smfh

Destigmatize Psychotic disorders, I swear to god if I see another piece of media that portrays Schizophrenics/people with a psychotic disorder as violent murderers I will go mad. Also Intersex rights or I’ll kill do no bodily harm to you, I don’t know if I’m intersex and since I’m on T it would be harder to find out but I respect y’all 110%

Free Palestine 🇵🇸 free Congo Free Sudan free Lebanon free Haiti

If you’re a minor please block the tags #cw suggestive, and #NSFW, otherwise just don’t follow

I put content warnings on some post but if you need me to start using another one for a different reason I will gladly do it just ask me, (right now I tag cw for Fire, suicide/suicide mentioned, alcohol, drugs, addiction, and other ones I can’t quite remember atm)

My current special interests/Hyper-fixations are: Digital art, JJBA, Dunmeshi,

CaeJose and JonaWagon are my main ships

Favorite things atm: Sweetness by Jimmy Eat World, Jim Adkins(hot), my Sona Ne0n, poolverine, sparkledogs, Scenemo, sparkledogs, and *sigh* gambit….

Side Blogs

(JJBA) @jonawagonvampslayers

(Clowncore/Rainbowcore/Kidcore) @sunnycavelion currently inactive

(Dark alternative aesthetic) @mrhallowseve666 currently inactive

(Earth tones and forestpunk) @colathylacine currently inactive

Tags

#Gummy Ramblings <- text posts especially life updates (not used anymore)

#Jet Ramblings <- text posts (not used anymore)

#River Ramblings <- the new tag I’m using for text posts

#River lore <- random nonsense facts about me or my life and growing up, you know lore?

#Rivers Plushes <- my plush collection

#my art <- my art, (need to come up with a better one lol)

#oc stuff <- my ocs

#my gif <- my gifs i make

#my photo <- photos I took/of me

#my edit <- edits I make

#saving this for later/saving for later <- to help me find post I will need later

DNI: Islamophobic, Ableist, LGBTQIAPhobic, Xenophobic, Zoophilic, Pedos, Transphobic, Intersexist, Racist, White Supremacist, Pro Cop and Pro prison, Anti Communism/Socialism, Anti Anarchism, Pro Capitalism, Fascists, Anti Jewish, Republicans, Zionist, Neo Nazi, white power Skinheads, Anti religion, Anti Safe Agere (I’m not agere but hate people who hate others coping skills) anti Therian, Misogynist, TERF and SWERF, Pro ABA “therapy”(torture), Pro conversion “therapy”, Anti neopronouns/xenopronouns/neo gender, Saneist, pro landlords, landlords, cops, people who stigmatize psychotic disorders and addiction, pro hostile architecture, holocaust denialists, pro government, Pro ED, thinspo, Fatphobic,

[spurgie-cousin]

Hard same on the “struggles are just a lesson that god is using to teach you something” and extracting yourself from the “all of this is in god’s plan/everything happens for a reason” excuse, and I went to a fairly normal church (Episcopalian). But they taught those things (predestination? predetermination? I think?) in kindergarten in a very watered down version, so even if you never put any real stock in that belief, it just stuck to you the whole way through Sunday school. And then after like 4 family members die of incurable illnesses in the span of 5 years you continue to have moments of thinking “why and how the fuck would any of this be god’s plan?” but there’s never any good answer you can come up with beyond “is he some kind of sadist”

And as far as “god gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers”? Draft a different soldier, big guy, I’m dodging this one✌🏻

(cw: death, suicide mentions)

Yes exactly, all of that. I'm not sure if the example you used of 4 family members passing away was something that actually happened to you (if it is I'm so terribly sorry💔) but I had a very similar experience of losing a handful of close family in rapid succession to cancer, to drug overdose, to self harm, etc. And that very much brought me to that "what kind of sadist are you???" place.

And the worst, the absolute worst part of the whole "god makes you suffer to teach you lessons" mindset is that if you go through something really particularly horrible, and bring up how kind of fucked up it is that god just decided to put you through that for 'moral growth', they have the world's biggest and most vague cop out: "No one can understand god's plan/he works in mysterious ways/he is wiser than us and we can never understand" etc etc etc which might be the most infuriating response someone can give you when you are contemplating whether or not you want to still even be alive.

One thing I think about when I get stuck in old, guilt-ridden thought patterns is that quote they found etched onto the wall of cell block in a Mauthausen-Gusen concentration camp that was something like "if there is a god, he will have to beg for my forgiveness". Like........you're going to tell me that person who was tortured and starved and locked in isolation for months, maybe years, maybe for the rest of their life, was there for moral growth??? You're going to tell me that happened because they needed to "learn" a certain lesson that god could only teach them this way?? I don't buy it I'm sorry I just don't. If that's how it really is, god is evil.

He has all this power, he could literally just telepathically insert the lessons into our brains or have us born knowing them, and he chooses to torture some people instead??? Sorry I want no part of it.

[immolatiism]

EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE.

bold  whatever  applies  to  your  muse.   italicize  the  things  that  only  somewhat apply / are verse dependent.

cw for mentions of death, suicide, infidelity, implied self-harm & abuse.

REPOST,  DON’T  REBLOG.

been cheated on  | been bullied | had your heart broken | broken someone’s heart | told a horrible lie |  been betrayed |  been framed / set-up  | stolen something of value  |  overdosed on drugs  |  been drunk  |  cheated  |  bullied  | been publicly humiliated |  punched someone in the face |  been beaten up | broken a bone | been admitted to a hospital | put someone in the hospital | had a near - death experience |  been drugged  | done drugs  |  smoked  |  been arrested |  been homeless  | been forced to commit a crime  |  died and came back to life  |  kissed someone you weren’t attracted to |  bled severely  | killed someone |  been forced to kill someone | had an attempt on your life |  made an attempt on your own life | lost someone | loved someone | watched a loved one die  | failed to save / help a loved one |  felt helpless | watched your world die / disappear |  had your life’s work stolen / destroyed  |  gone without food for over three days |  gone without sleep for over three days  | been tortured / questioned |  been shot  | been stabbed |  been poisoned  |  been held prisoner  | been trapped |  been buried alive  |  been held hostage  | held someone hostage  | been stuck in a different world / universe / time  |  been abused by someone who should have loved / appreciated / valued you | had a panic attack |  had night terrors |  been in a car accident  | lost your job  | lost a fight  |  had sex with a stranger |  been divorced  | been abandoned | passed out from pain |  cried yourself to sleep |  spent a whole day in bed | hurt yourself | taken your anger out on yourself |  taken your anger out on someone you love | been used | been manipulated |  felt used | manipulated someone else |   had your memories / mind wiped / stolen or tampered with  |  been taken over by a hostile force  | been terrified |  played a cruel game on someone  |  been forced to smile | felt too many things at once | laughed when you felt like crying | been in denial  |  been denied | faced your demons

[sometimesraven]

Whumptober 2023 Masterlist

Updated as I go! If there's a fandom and characters but no link yet on a day that hasn't come around, that means the fic is definitely In Progress.

Fandoms:

Quantum Leap (2022) Dragon Age: Inquisition Dead by Daylight The Witcher The Sandman Detroit: Become Human The Truth Saga (Original Novel Series)

Whumpees:

Ian Wright f!Lavellan Nea Karlsson Jaskier Original Gender-Neutral Character (Reader POV) Lydia Moore (Truth Saga) Blade Silverwind (Truth Saga) Carmina Mora | The Artist Meg Thomas Gavin Rede

Alternatively, bookmark the AO3 Series I made!

Day One: Quantum Leap (2022) - Ian Wright &/ Jenn Chou

“But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps.” | Safety Net | Swooning |

Day Two: The Sandman - Delirium & Reader (gender neutral, no Y/N)

“I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back.” |Delirium | “They don't care about you.” CW: implied suicidal ideation

Day Three: Dragon Age Inquisition - f!Lavellan (Solasmance mentioned)

“Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon.” | Journal |

Day Four: Dragon Age Inquisition - f!Lavellan/Solas

“I see the danger, It’s written there in your eyes.” | Shock | CW: grief, dissociation

Day Five: Dead by Daylight - Nea &/ Meg

"You better pray I don't get up this time around.” CW: canon-typical violence, blood/bleeding out, death

Day Six: The Witcher - Jaskier/Jennefer

“Do or die, you’ll never make me; Because the world will never take my heart.” | Made to Watch | “It should have been me.” CW: survivor's guilt, queer political allegory

Day Seven: The Sandman - Reader/Desire (gender neutral, no Y/N)

“I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.” Radio Silence | “Can you hear me?” CW: toxic relationships, implied sexual content, self-hatred

Day Eight: The Truth Saga (my original novels) - Lydia

“I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.” CW: suicide attempt, psych ward mention

Day Nine: The Truth Saga (my original novels) - Blade

Altprompt: Aftermath of Failure CW: medical torture/abuse, brainwashing

Day Ten: Dragon Age Inquisition - Lavellan

"Can't you see that you're lost without me? CW: briefly implied self harm

Day Eleven: Dead by Daylight - Carmina Mora | The Artist

“All the lights going dark and my hope’s destroyed.” | Captivity | “No one will find you.” CW: suicide attempt, torture, loss of limb

Day Twelve: Quantum Leap (2022) - Ian Wright &/ Jenn Chou

“I haven't slept in days but who's counting?” Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.” CW: implied past drug use

Day Thirteen: The Witcher - Jaskier & Geralt of Rivia

Cold Compress | Infection | “I don’t feel so good.”

Day Fourteen: The Sandman - Reader & Delirium (gender neutral, no Y/N)

Flare | Water Inhalation | “Just hold on.” CW: Drowning

Day Fifteen: Dragon Age Inquisiton - f!Lavellan/Original Transfemme Character

“I don't need you to help me I can handle things myself.” | Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.” CW: nsfw

Day Sixteen: Dead by Daylight - Meg Thomas/Nea Karlsson

“Would you lie with me and just forget the world?” | “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

Day Seventeen: Detroit: Become Human - Connor/Gavin

“You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.” | Collar | Touch Aversion CW: brief nonconsensual touching

Day Eighteen

Day Nineteen

Day Twenty

Day Twenty-One

Day Twenty-Two

Day Twenty-Three

Day Twenty-Four

Day Twenty-Five

Day Twenty-Six

Day Twenty-Seven

Day Twenty-Eight

Day Twenty-Nine

Day Thirty

Day Thirty-One

[kiitchensiink]

.:kink & CW list:.

a list of all the content warnings you may find on this blog, please use the word & tag block functions to blacklist any that may make you uncomfortable.

I'll periodically add to this list so there's probably something new often as I remember it lol

Real talk a lot of these are very personal and it helps me to write about stuff in a way that projects into my blorbos so ya lol enter at ur own risk

My blog is 16+ only please don't follow if you're under legal age!!

.:Soft & Vanilla:.

•Kissing, Cuddling, PDA

•Genitalia, [in both cis and trans contexts]

•Cum & Bodily fluids

•Body worship, Devoted/Devotee

•Size difference [Micro/Macro included]

.:Medium & Mild:.

•Light BDSM [Striking], [Restraints], [Dominant/Submissive], [Gagging & Binding], [Choking & Breathplay], [Power Imbalance], [Indoctrination & Oppression]

•Breeding

•Insults & Humiliation

•Clone & Autophilia

•Overstimulation

•Dubcon

•Risk & Bodily Harm, [Violence], [Bloodplay], [Peril], [Self Harm], [Discussions of trauma & mental health], [Drugs & Alcohol], [Drowning & Suffocating]

•Religious Symbolism & Hierophilia, God Complexes

•Petplay & Dehumanisation

.:Hard & Spicy:.

CONTENT WARNING

Reader discretion is advised, please be sure to keep yourself safe if any of these topics distress you.

It's perfectly okay to be uncomfortable, and I will do my absolute best to tag everything. However, keep a level of personal responsibility, and block any tags or words that may upset or trigger you.

Many of these specific contents have personal significance to me and personal catharsis. These subjects may be too intense for some blog visitors. Yes I'm in therapy lol. u have been Warned.

//

•Weaponsplay

•Gore & Mutilation, [Suicide & Baiting], [Major Character Death], [Dismemberment], [Disembowelment]

•Stalking & Obsession

•Werewolf ABO stuff idk [Knotting], [Scent Marking]

•Overdose & Drug Mixing

•Medical & Hospital Mention [Medical Trauma Depictions], [Nurse/Caregiver Kink], [Invasive Medical Procedures], [Medical Mutilation]

•Noncon & Violence [Sexual Torture], [Forced Submission], [Intense Scenes], [No Limits BDSM]

•Death/Deathplay [Assisted Suicide], [Murder], [Fake Death], [Gratuitous Scenes of Violence]

[kim-poce]

Masterlist One-shot: Non-titled

Separated due to link limit

Masterlists Masterlist

Masterlist of One-shots (Maybe)

I'll make blocks of 10 for easier reading.

B1

CW: pet whump, mention of nail whump, mention of starvation, feeling like being an annoyance, kicking, whumpee going back to whumper.

CW: guilt.

CW: war mention, implied war, blood mention, death mention, off-screen violence.

CW: implied past torture.

CW: non-human whumpee, implied future torture.

CW: broken bones mention, starving mention, blood mention.

CW: hypothermia, scars, nudity (as in taking the wet cold clothes out so they can live)

CW: mention of death

CW: multiple whumpee, conditioned whumpee.

CW: past abuse.

B2

CW: medical whump, implied past torture, implied past rescue, female whumpee, burn mention, cut mention.

CW: captive, chain, collar, choking, forcing feeding, implied past torture, digging a finger into cuts, passing out, too weak to move, female whumper, male whumpee.

CW: male whumpee, female whumper, powers, failed escape attempt, implied future torture.

CW: sick whumpee, fever, forced to perform.

CW: kidnap mention, solitary confinement, possessive whumper.

CW: past trauma, breakdown.

CW: supernatural, death, death of a child, main character death, exorcism.

CW: pet whump, solitary confinement, touch starved.

CW: female whumper, male whumpee, dub-con body modifications (tattoos and piercings), intimate whumper, implied abuse.

CW: sold, rescue, abuse, kicking.

B3

CW: Pet whump, conditioned whumpee.

CW: gun, caretaker whump.

CW: cigarette burns, intimate whumper, possessive whumper.

CW: past torture, trauma, mute whumpee, selective mutism.

CW: mer whump, captivity, torture, angst, victim-blaming.

CW: No Holds Barred Beatdown, pet whump? implied future torture.

CW: Ableism, implied abuse.

CW: torture, cuts, knife.

CW: pet whump, training, starvation, dehumanization.

CW: captivity, torture mention.

B4

CW: trauma.

CW: fear of death, death (kind of), come back to life (kind of), vampire whumper.

CW: whumpee turned whumper, whumper turned whumpee, death threat, chained, talk of death/dehydration and starvation.

CW: Cutting, knife, intimate whumper.

CW: rescue after long-term captivity.

CW: captive, touch starved.

CW: self-sacrifice, implied future torture.

CW: gun, humiliation, fear of death, threats of death (non-verbal).

CW: knife, masochist whumper, self-harm, forced to hurt.

CW: self-sacrifice, multiple whumpees, defiant whumpee.

B5

CW: several minor characters death mentioned, implied manipulation of masses, the hero is female and hurt, violence, gun mention.

CW: knives, fear of punishment.

CW: implied past abuse, scars, broken bones mention (past).

CW: female whumper, male whumpee, power dynamic, humiliation, slapping, forced to kneel.

CW: whumpee turned whumper, whumper turned whumpee, cigarette burns.

CW: emotional whump, betray.

CW: noncon drugs, kidnapping, death mention.

CW: solitary confinement, touch starved, intimate whumper.

CW: male whumpee, female whumper, humiliation, self-harm (accidental), possessive whumper

CW: female whumper, male whumpee, intimate whumper, fear of death, razor, cut.

B6

CW: female whumper, male whumpee, cruel whumper, forced to watch, punishment by proxy

CW: captive, mentioned forced labor, touch starved, female whumper, intimate whumper, male whumpee, stockholm syndrome.

CW: death, car accident.

CW: minor whumpee, poverty, slavery, implied sex worker, implied noncon with minors (like really implied)

CW: lab whump, gaslighting, failed escape attempt, sensory deprivation, starvation.

CW: NSFW, noncon, shocking, defiant whumpee, oral, creepy intimate whumper.

CW: NSFW, no advised “bdsm” (between “” because bsdm NEEDS clear CONSENT or it ISN’T BDSM ), dub/noncon, overstimulation.

There’s just something about characters who are so used to being in pain that it doesn’t really scare them. What bothers them, however, is the worried look with which Caretaker regards them. Now that is something they can’t take.

“Let’s say you did escape. What would you even tell them?”

[tazticklez]

BYF (PLEASE READ)

My character lore is very complicated and I’ll generally be posting about one of the stories I’m most obsessed with (currently as of late it’s PureBlood), here are the TW’s and CW’s of what some of my art/posts will contain so be cautious:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

-side note I have never personally gone through/have most of the things I write so even though it’s important to the story I want to preface if you’re a victim/have any of the aforementioned disabilities/mental disorders(/conditions/illnesses)/experiences and find the way I depict them to be harmful in any way, I am very open to criticism so please personally dm me and inform me of what I should fix. Or if you want to help me correctly write a character with said experience’s feel free to do so I’ll make sure to credit you (unless you say otherwise)

also keep in mind I find most of what I depict to be very serious and I wont be glorifying/romanticizing any of what I depict to be “cool” or “cute” and I also do not condone any of this irl, I’m also not a proshipper (to any NSFW acc’s or proshipper’s don’t follow me please)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IMPLIED/MENTIONED: s/a, rape (will never be explicitly shown), trafficking, animal death and torture, necrophelia, RAMCOA, religious trauma, war, incest, pedophelia, grooming, suicide/suicidal themes, self harm, abuse, eating disorders, demonization of mentally ill and disabled people, proshipping (mc is one, not me), crayons (this has its reason of being here), drugs/drug abuse, alcohol/alcohol abuse, medical trauma, murder, slavery, bright/flashing lights and colors, cults, body horror and sex jokes

I don’t care if you’re under 18, if you chose to follow after reading this that’s your choice and that’s on you, I only ask for you to handle these topics with respect and be mature about it and don’t make others uncomfortable please!

And I would love to grow a fanbase/community of course so hopefully you can be apart of that (only if you’d like)

|

Although what I write is technically intended for people 18+, this is in no way a green light for you to be weird towards me (as I am a minor) or make sexual remarks about me or post/send me nsfw fanart. I say do whatever you want with my oc’s, use them for whatever and have any headcanons you like.

If you're a proshipper/nsfw artist (or just whitewash characters) please don't post that shit anywhere I can see it. I can't exactly stop you but it would make me very uncomfortable

(Also if you’re wondering why a 14 year old is writing stuff like this, all I can say is that I am severely paranoid and I want to finish my work as fast as I can manage and unfortunately my anxiety and paranoia won’t let me wait 4 more years, lmao idk if I’ll even be alive by then :P)

if you still want to follow me but don’t want to see these things, I’ll make a second account and link it in my profile where I’ll still post art/oc content but for all ages @tazthecas

Thanks for reading :D have a nice day

[reviewsthatburn]

DNF 14 hours 6 minutes in (76%).

I found myself much less interested in the the story than in the first book. I'm still uneasy with some of the character choices I mentioned in the first book's review and I couldn't tell when or if they would be resolved. Ultimately, while I'm unable to pin down exactly what I don't like about this book, trying to make myself finish it resulted in a period of several days where I barely read anything and could only handle re-reads. As soon as I officially DNF'd this I was able to read other stuff again. For me, that's enough.

[failed-perimeter-escape]

kink & cw list

• please use the word / tag and blacklist functions to filter anything that makes you uncomfortable

soft & vanilla

• kissing, cuddling, PDA

• genitalia (cis/trans)

• cum, bodily fluids

• body worship, devoted/devotee

• size difference (micro/macro)

medium & mild

• light bdsm (striking, restraints, dom/sub, gagging, binding, choking, breathplay, power imbalance, indoctrination, oppression)

• breeding

• insults, humiliation

• clone, autophilia

• overstimulation

• dubcon

• risk & bodily harm (violence, bloodplay, peril, self harm, trauma & mental health, drugs, alcohol, drowning, suffocation)

• religious symbolism, hierophilia, god complexes

• petplay, dehumanisation

hard & spicy

• reader discretion is advised, be sure to keep yourself safe if any of these topics distress you

• posts under this category will be tagged and put under read-mores (if it applies), however keep a level of personal responsability and block/blacklist anything that may upset and trigger you

• all these subjects are for personal catharsis, and theyre therapy they help

• weaponsplay

• gore, mutilation (suicide, suicide baiting, major character death, dismemberment, disembowlment)

• stalking, obssession

• cannibalism foodplay

• overdose, drug mixing

• medical, hospital mention (medical trauma, nurse/caregiver kink, invasive medical procedures, medical mutilation)

• noncon, violence (sexual torture, forced submission, intense scenes, no limits bdsm)

• death, deathplay (assisted suicide, murder, fake death, gratuitous scenes of violence)

[spencermyangel]

Could we get Hankel having more severely tortured Reid + raped as well? And the team having seen it and they didn't say anything, but when they find out he's relapsed w/ diladid/self harm/starving they find out he has chronic pain as a result of it and they try to find a non-opiate painkiller or relief that helps

CW - Drug addiction, self-harm, anorexia, rape

After Spencer was rescued he had waited for the team to bring it up, but they didn’t. They had helped him through the entire recovery process, except for the sexual assualt. Spencer knew they had seen what happened, the camera was on. He wished they would bring it up, he felt so ashamed and dirty and too embarrassed to ask for help himself. He thought at least Morgan would bring it up, Morgan would understand. The hurt he felt when Morgan didn’t was almost unbearable. 

Months passed with no mention of his assault, but the pain didn’t go away. He felt as though he was constantly hurting from the torture. His feet and legs were constantly aching, where Tobias had repeatedly beat him. Spencer soon began to use dilaudid again after briefly quitting to deal with the pain. He starved himself and self-harmed to deal with the feelings of worthlessness and self-hate.

Spencer was starting the geo-profile when he began to feel light-headed, he felt himself sway back and forth before everything went dark. 

“Reid!” Morgan exclaimed as he quickly moved to catch him. His shout got the attention of Hotch who hurried across the room. 

“What happened?” Hotch asked, his brow furrowed in stress. 

“I don’t know,” Morgan responded as he slowly lowered Spencer to the ground. It was then that Emily, JJ and Rossi, who was still quite new to the team, entered the room. 

“Spence!” JJ gasped as she rushed over, Emily following after her with concern on her face. 

Rossi walked up to Hotch, “what’s wrong with the kid?” he questioned, trying to hide the distress in his voice. Rossi hated to admit to himself how soft he was for the young doctor. 

“You don’t think it could be?” Morgan trailed off. 

Hotch’s face looked stricken at the question and Rossi looked around confused, “could be what?” 

Hotch sighed and gestured for Emily to shut the door and she quickly did. He turned to look at Rossi, “Spencer went through something… traumatic a while ago and he developed a bit of a… issue with dilaudid.”

“Issue?”

“Addiction,” Hotch admitted. 

Rossi’s eyes widened, “what did you do about it?” he questioned, but quickly noticed the team's guilty looks. “Nothing,” he guessed, anger in his voice, “you did nothing.” 

“It was a difficult situation,” Hotch tried to justify their actions, “what he went through… we didn’t know how to approach it.” 

“So, you’re telling me you ignored his drug addiction and also ignored whatever trauma he was dealing with,” Rossi accused them, eyes hardening when they couldn't deny it.

“Hotch,” Morgan’s hushed voice stopped their conversation. They glanced over to see Morgan had rolled up Spencer’s sleeves to check. Littering his arms were scars, both old and new. The track marks they expected, but what they didn’t expect was the obviously self-inflicted injuries. 

“Did he… do that to himself?” Emily asked, though she already knew the answer. No one answered. Soon enough, Spencer began to stir. 

“What’s going on?” Spencer questioned as he blinked his eyes and sat up. He soon realized his arm was exposed and he rushed to cover it with his sleeve. 

“Spence…” JJ began, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“Don’t,” Spencer snapped. He stood up, “I’m fine.” 

“You’re clearly not!” Morgan crossed his arms, glancing at Spencer's arm. 

Spencer snorted, “Stop acting like you care. All of you left me to deal with everything on my own, I know you saw what happened.”

“Reid… Spencer,” Morgan said as he avoided his best friend's eyes, “We didn’t know what to say, how to approach you.” 

Spencer’s shoulders slumped, “you could have tried,” he whispered. 

“We’re here to help you know,” JJ tried to assure him, “we can help you move past this.”

Spencer shook his head, “You can’t.”

Rossi guided Spencer to sit at the table, Hotch sitting across from him. “And why is that?” Hotch asked, a stern look on his face.

“Because it’s the only thing that stops the pain,” Spencer sniffled.

“Spencer,” Rossi began, “healing from trauma is hard, but you have people to help you.”

“I wasn’t talking about the emotional pain. It’s physical,” Spencer corrected him. 

Emily’s eyes widened, “what do you mean?” 

“I’ve been in so much pain, because of the torture. It never went away.” 

Hotch grimaced, angry at himself for naively believing Spencer could deal with this on his own. “Reid, it was inexcusable of us to leave you on your own to deal with something no one should have to deal with,” Hotch apologized. Spencer looked down in shame, knowing what he was talking about. “I want you to know this isn’t something you need to be ashamed of, we will help you with the emotional trauma and to find a non-opiate painkiller that helps you manage the pain.” 

Spencer blinked back tears and his next words were filled with doubt and broke the team's heart. “Really?” 

“Of course, Bambi,” Rossi assured him.

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