The following is an Asta Twelvetrees x D’arcy Bloom fic no one asked for, but that the world definitely needs.
Episode: Season 2, Episode 5: “Family Day”
Song:
Warnings: Passing allusions to domestic violence / controlling relationship, pining, underage drinking mention, cannabis (weed), underaged inebriated sex mention (of two characters now adults), passing mention of alcoholism, infertility mention (jokingly), biting, hickies, dirty talk, rough oral
-
GN69
Given how difficult the last few days had been, D’arcy was on the upswing. With Asta’s arm around her shoulders and the raven-haired beauty resting against her, D’arcy almost wished Asta had more of her shitty ex‘s clothes in her trunk, so they could stare at the fire burning on the grill for hours. Still, she held onto this moment for as long as she could.
By the time the sweatshirt was reduced to soot, the sun had almost set and the cloud cover was shifting to reveal the night sky.
Looking up at the stars that began to peek out from the parting clouds, D’arcy was reminded of the plastic imitations stuck to Asta’s bedroom ceiling and how many times the two of them had explored each other under those stars as stoned teenagers. Fuck, the two of them had even done it in the yacht spot, drinking beers that Asta had snagged from work in the parked car until they were just tipsy enough to say they couldn’t remember sloppily making out, groping, going down on, and fingering each other. Inevitably, the night would end with both of them passed out in the back seat, one on top of the other. D’arcy fondly remembered how Asta’s full weight on her was always so comforting.
Those were the days.
Before passing out drunk at The 59 happened more often than making it home to fall asleep in her own bed.
Before Jimmy made Asta stay home anytime she wasn’t working.
Before bruises and excuses, shattered legs and broken dreams.
Just the two of them at what felt like the beginning of their lives.
It was time to recapture that feeling.
“Wanna go park at the yacht spot and turn that” - D’arcy pointed at an apple sitting on a nearby table - “into a bong, for old times’ sake? It’ll get the smell of burnt sweatshirt out of our hair.”
“Sounds perfect,” Asta said, lifting her head from the other woman’s shoulder to look at her, “I’ll drive, you work your magic.”
D’arcy couldn’t help but smile when a soft kiss was planted on her cheek - what probably looked like a casual show of affection between best friends from the outside. But every time Asta’s lips touched her, D’arcy felt a tug in her chest; a protective instinct swelling with happiness and longing.
“Thanks, D’arce,” Asta said, smiling before turning to walk to her car, “You always know just what I need.”
—
Parked at what might have been considered a jaunty angle if there were parking spaces in the woods was Asta’s car; not “the yacht,” namesake of the spot, but a suitable substitute for the occasion. The two women sat within its padded frame, the occasional flicker of a flame highlighting just how smoky the air was inside.
The apple D’arcy had expertly carved with her pocketknife gave each hit a sweet taste, filtering the smoke through a bit of water as well as the inner walls of the fruit. The aluminum foil bowl with a long down-stem that she had fashioned from scraps wasn’t quite as impressive, but it did the job.
“Maybe I should’ve made this thing out of a pepper instead,” D’arcy mused, passing the makeshift bong without noticing the incredulous look being thrown her way, “Most of ‘em are already basically empty, and it might give it a nice kick-“
“Shut up!” Asta gave her a playful shove, reminding her of the chili pepper eating contest before taking a hit and trying not to laugh into the piece as D’arcy giggled. The last bit of ash pulled through quickly, heralded by a cough.
“Well, looks like that’s the last of it,” Asta said, looking down at the cashed bowl.
“Actually, if you’ll scoot a little bit,” D’arcy leaned over, reached underneath the driver’s seat, and moved a few things around before triumphantly pulling out a small ziploc bag containing a few bits of flower, “Aha! First try.”
“You hid weed in my car?” Asta raised an eyebrow while a smile tugged at the corners of her lips.
“You’re surprised?” D’arcy countered, pulling out a nug and taking it apart piece by piece as she packed the bowl. Her hands worked quickly, despite being more used to a grinder at this point; something about the atmosphere was almost perfect in recapturing the nostalgia she sought.
“Aw, greens? For me?” Asta made sure as she was handed the lighter and bong.
“I started the last bowl - this one’s for you,” D’arcy insisted, “But it feels like we’re missing something… Mind if I put on some tunes?”
“Go for it,” Asta encouraged, gesturing to her case of CDs before lighting the bowl.
D’arcy clicked the key left in the ignition just slightly to give power to the radio and lights before looking through disc after disc. Finding one that made her smile, she plucked it from its sleeve before pushing it into the player and skipping to track two. She leaned back in her seat again, watching Asta listen curiously to the repeating discordant noise before it changed to guitar and drums. The realization hit Asta slowly, a smile creeping onto her face as she let out her hit.
“The Breeders? Really?” Asta laughed.
“It’s ironic!” D’arcy said defensively, “I thought that was, like, half the reason we used to listen to them all the time. Y’know, ‘cause you got slow swimmers and I’m barren. That’s why we used to do it raw every time I called you for what I thought of as a GN69, even though we never actually-“
The sudden look of realization that fell over Asta’s face as she listened made D’arcy stop. Had Asta been telling the truth about not remembering any of those moments? Did D’arcy just trigger a memory that might compromise their friendship?
“Wait,” Asta’s hand slowly crept over to D’arcy’s thigh as she spoke, “I’m single... You’re single…”
“Oh you’re baked is what you are,” D’arcy laughed, trying to give her an out, her own heartbeat speeding up.
“I want you even when I’m not high,” Asta said matter-of-factly, the lyrics echoing with “want you” as she set the lighter and apple on the dashboard and scooted a bit closer, “You’ve always felt like home to me, and I’ve been gone for so long. Don’t turn me away.”
Those words, paired with the soulful brown eyes staring into hers, made D’arcy’s carefree persona falter.
“I’m finally back, D’arce,” the emotion in Asta’s voice tugged on her heartstrings like nothing else, as Asta’s face steadily approached, fingers gently brushing D’arcy’s lips now, “Please, just let me in.”
Before she knew what she was doing, D’arcy had closed the distance between her lips and Asta’s, arms moving to pull the other woman as close to her as possible.
Asta’s lips were just as soft as D’arcy had remembered and - despite the smoke and its vessel - she could taste the vanilla ice cream Asta had used to ease the overpowering heat of the last pepper she had attempted to eat. D’arcy chased down the flavor until she was lost in it, numb to it, and finally reached a familiar, unnameable taste that felt welcoming like nothing else, her hands roaming Asta’s breathless body. She was met with the same enthusiasm she gave, lips breaking apart only to feel the electric sensation of running them together again, clinging to each other as if letting go meant never seeing her again.
“I’ll be your whatever you want” was the only part of the song that registered for D’arcy every time she heard it - it was exactly how she felt.
Giving the both of them time to catch their breath, D’arcy gently tilted the other woman’s head, slowly trailing kisses across her cheek and down her neck. Feeling the occasional buzz of Asta moaning into the kisses they shared was nice, but hearing her moan was something D’arcy was craving desperately. Biting down harder and harder, sucking on the skin between her teeth, she savored the sounds that almost harmonized with the music. Starting to squirm, Asta’s moans turned to whimpers as she grabbed a handful of bright red hair to stop the onslaught to the space between her neck and shoulder.
“Not too much,” she said, already breathing heavily, “People still get weird around me when I have bruises.”
“We should probably take this to the back seat anyway,” D’arcy suggested, removing her jacket and undoing her ponytail.
Asta ambled into the back, not bothering to use the car doors and sliding off her plaid button-up once she was seated. Her t-shirt was the next thing to go as D’arcy squeezed between the front seats to join her.
“Helloooo nurse!” D’arcy exclaimed, laughing when her comment was met with the shirt flung at her.
“Oh, I see. You wanna play doctor?” Asta asked, donning a smirk and enjoying the way the other woman looked at her, “Where does it hurt?” - she leaned in to whisper - “And where do you want it to?”
Wordlessly, D’arcy bit her lip and took the other woman’s hand, guiding it down to the space between her legs. Asta went back to occupying her lips with D’arcy’s while she undid the black leather belt. Pulling away every piece of clothing that stood between her and her target, Asta was a woman on a mission. The moment she had enough space, she dipped her head between D’arcy’s thighs.
Pants, belt and underwear abandoned just above her knees, D’arcy tried and failed to spread her legs further in response to the warm, wet tongue that flitted against her. She tried to shimmy her way into a position to lower her pants further without shifting too much - but the movement didn’t go unnoticed.
D’arcy moaned loudly when Asta gripped her thighs to hold her in place and started biting her tender labia instead.
“Fuck! That shouldn’t feel as good as it does,” D’arcy said, gripping the headrests of the seats on either side of her and leaning back against the cold glass of the window.
“Yeah? You like that?” Asta teased, lips hovering just above the wetness she had already brought forth, one hand firmly pressing down on the other woman’s stomach to keep her from moving her hips.
“I missed your mouth, like, a lot,” D’arcy admitted, bringing a hand down to wipe off some of the face paint around the edges of Asta’s face. It was all she could do not to grab Asta’s hair and push her back down between her legs, but she had to ask.
“You down to keep going?”
Rather than speaking, Asta replied by pulling the pants and underwear the rest of the way down before bringing her mouth back down to D’arcy’s aching flesh. Her fingers parted the rosy folds and she began flicking her tongue, rapidly and rhythmically. D’arcy felt her pleasure mounting embarrassingly quickly, but just when she was getting close, Asta went back to biting instead.
“Ah! Unfair!” D’arcy whined, running her fingers through her own hair in frustration, feeling the mounting pleasure stall.
Before D’arcy could protest further, Asta began using her tongue again, expertly bringing the other woman back to a place where her pleasure continued to build - before denying her again, teeth leaving her even more tender with the most pleasurable pain.
“Asta!” she whined, squirming, “Please!”
Tongue slowly reuniting with D’arcy’s throbbing clit, Asta slid a single finger slowly into the source of her wetness as moans overtook the music in volume.
“Yes! Yes!” D’arcy was dizzy with pleasure, feeling Asta add another finger as her mouth continued - but part of her was waiting for the pain now that she was so close to the edge. The thrusting and licking and sucking didn’t stop this time, bringing the perfect peak directly into her sights.
“Asta! I’m gonna-!” was all D’arcy managed to say before her body took over, hands grasping the other woman’s hair as she heard herself gush down Asta’s fingers and chin, onto the seat. She was about to apologize until she realized Asta had started fingering her harder and faster because of it, drawing out her orgasm for as long as she could.
This was better than nostalgia; this was real.
The world was so much more colorful and vivid when D’arcy finally opened her eyes, feeling better than she had in years.
“Holy shit,” she breathed, wiping tears from her cheeks, “Holy fucking shit.”
Asta giggled, planting one last kiss between D’arcy’s legs before slowly pulling out her fingers. Staring her down seductively, she licked them clean.
“Oh you sexy bitch, come over here so I can thank you,” D’arcy breathed, sitting up to grab Asta in a passionate kiss before stripping her down to return the favor.
—
“Good morning,” Asta said, walking to the staff lockers of the Patience Health Clinic and setting down her things.
“‘Morning,” Ellen replied, looking her over suspiciously, “You look… chipper.”
“I slept well last night,” Asta replied curtly, putting on her scrubs, “Don’t you have work to do?”
“Wow, I was just trying to be nice,” Ellen held her hands up defensively before taking a sandwich out of a nearby tupperware, “Thought you’d appreciate it. Especially after the competition yesterday.”
She took a small bite, mulling something over before saying more.
“Speaking of - are you and D’arcy a thing ‘cause all the men in town require their own sad, separate ranking system? Or are you, like, into her.”
“Excuse me?” Asta whipped around to face the accusation.
“I mean, I get it,” Ellen said before taking a much larger bite and continuing to talk with her mouth full, “The 59 on a weekend has zero eye candy - until you start looking at the ladies.” Ellen gestured to herself, sandwich still in hand, making Asta roll her eyes and scoff.
“What makes you think we-?”
“Yesterday’s clothes” - Ellen leaned over and pointed - “that hickey you keep trying to hide, and” - she plucked a long, bright red hair from the back of Asta’s shirt with finality. “Not that I care, but if you’re gonna lie, maybe you should do it better.”
Saying this, Ellen gave Asta two gruff pats on the shoulder, stuffing her face and leaving the empty tupperware before walking off.
Asta looked down at the container. Maybe Ellen was right - she shouldn’t be lying; if only because Ellen herself was probably already on the phone telling everyone in town. Then a second realization sunk in.
“… ELLEN! THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY LUNCH!”
[end]
-
Tag list (thank you!)
@domripley , @falloutboy-lover
11 notes
·
View notes
Tutte le balle sull’abrogazione dell’abuso d’ufficio. Parla il giurista Stortoni
L’abrogazione del reato di abuso d’ufficio “è contraria al diritto internazionale”, “creerebbe un vuoto di tutela per i cittadini”, “eliminerebbe un importantissimo reato spia”. Tutte affermazioni infondate o addirittura false, spiega Luigi Stortoni, professore emerito di Diritto penale dell’Università di Bologna
L’abrogazione del reato di abuso d’ufficio “creerebbe un vuoto di tutela per i cittadini contro le angherie dell’autorità pubblica”, “eliminerebbe un importantissimo reato spia”, “è contraria al diritto internazionale”. Sono solo alcune delle tesi che hanno trovato spazio nel dibattito pubblico negli ultimi giorni – da parte di magistrati, politici e giornalisti – contro l’ipotesi di abrogazione del reato di abuso d’ufficio (deciso martedì in prima battuta dalla commissione giustizia del Senato). Affermazioni infondate o addirittura false, come spiega al Foglio Luigi Stortoni, professore emerito di Diritto penale dell’Università di Bologna. Partiamo dalla prima. “Non è vero che con l’abrogazione dell’abuso d’ufficio si creerebbe un vuoto di tutela per il cittadino – dice Stortoni –. Il vuoto di tutela ci sarebbe se i numeri dimostrassero una corrispondenza tra denunce e condanne, e invece questo è assolutamente smentito dai dati: il 95 per cento delle denunce finisce con l’archiviazione, mentre il restante 5 per cento solo in pochissimi casi dà luogo a condanne e per giunta per fatti bagatellari”.
Insomma, prosegue Stortoni, “si hanno tanti processi inutili, che sono dannosi non solo per chi li subisce ma anche per l’immagine della Pubblica amministrazione. Non ci sarebbe alcun vuoto perché i cittadini potrebbero continuare a rivolgersi alla giustizia amministrativa, nata proprio con la funzione di verificare l’eventuale cattivo uso della discrezionalità amministrativa”.
La seconda obiezione mossa contro l’abrogazione del reato è che questo costituirebbe un reato spia molto importante per indagare su altri reati più gravi, come corruzione, concussione o turbativa d’asta. “Questa argomentazione è contraria a qualsiasi principio del processo penale liberale e anche costituzionale – replica Stortoni –. Si usa un reato, che si afferma non avere una sua ragion d’essere, per creare impropriamente uno strumento processuale per accertare altri eventuali reati, anziché accertarli con i modi ordinari previsti dalla legge. Il reato spia non può esistere nel nostro ordinamento. Il reato deve essere giustificato in sé”.
Altra obiezione mossa in questi giorni: se abroghiamo il reato violiamo il diritto europeo e internazionale. “E’ una bugia”, dichiara netto Stortoni: “E’ falso che esista un obbligo sovranazionale a mantenere questo reato. Nella convenzione di Merida la penalizzazione dell’abuso d’ufficio è meramente facoltativa e non obbligatoria come è per altri reati, come la corruzione. C’è poi una proposta di direttiva europea che introdurrebbe questo obbligo, ma la proposta è ancora tutta da discutere ed è molto criticata dalla dottrina, soprattutto per il mancato rispetto dei princìpi di sussidiarietà e proporzionalità. Il testo quindi potrebbe subire modifiche o essere approvato non si sa fra quanti anni”.
C’è un’altra critica di carattere tecnico. La riforma del 2020 avrebbe tassativizzato in misura maggiore il reato di abuso d’ufficio, stabilendo che occorre la violazione di una specifica disposizione di legge, e in questo modo le ambiguità precedenti sarebbero state superate. “Purtroppo non è così – spiega Stortoni –. La giurisprudenza della Corte di cassazione, ad esempio, con la sentenza n. 2080 del 2022, si è mostrata refrattaria alla modifica legislativa, sostenendo – come in precedenza – che può costituire reato anche un comportamento che non vìola una specifica disposizione di legge ma che è contrario lato sensu al principio di imparzialità stabilito dall’articolo 97 della Costituzione”.
C’è un dato che ieri è stato rilanciato con grande enfasi: la soppressione del reato porterebbe alla cancellazione di oltre tremila condanne definitive. Il dato si riferisce agli ultimi 25 anni, anche se non è chiaro come sia stata calcolata questa cifra (secondo il ministero della Giustizia, nel 2021 le condanne sono state 44 davanti alla sezione gip/gup e 18 in dibattimento). “Anche io non comprendo da dove siano stati tirati fuori questi dati – afferma Stortoni –. Ad ogni modo, se ci sono state delle condanne per un reato, che poi viene abrogato, è normale che quelle condanne vengano annullate, non c’è niente di scandaloso. Secondo questo ragionamento allora l’abrogazione dei reati di adulterio o di omicidio d’onore avrebbe dovuto lasciare in vita le pregresse condanne?”. “Se mi è concesso, questa obiezione dimostra davvero la pochezza degli argomenti utilizzati in questi giorni nel dibattito pubblico”, conclude.
2 notes
·
View notes