#dad!dean is my favorite dean and jack make me SOB this is besides all of that

[wormstacheangel]

When Dean finally rescued Cas from the empty, he expected a happy reunion. He envisioned a strong hug like the first time he had escaped. He expected a long-awaited kiss and repeated confessions that weren’t said with sorrow or heartache. He expected to find the same Cas that was taken, but that would have been too easy.

Cas was left awake, alone, and in complete darkness for months on end.

So when Dean went into the empty, ready to wake up the love of his life, he found Cas curled in on himself—staring blankly out into the void of nothingness. He whispered something so softly and quickly that Dean couldn’t pick up on the actual words, but it sounded familiar. Almost like he was humming a song.

Dean tried to get him to stand up on his own, but he quickly realized that Cas wasn’t even looking at him. His gaze was distant, seeing something Dean can’t even imagine. He then noticed the white film over his eyes dimmed the once bright blue.

His fingertips gently traced over the skin he had only dreamt of touching for months before he took a deep, shaky breath to steady himself. With that slight pause, Dean used whatever desperate strength he had and dragged Cas back to the portal.

Back home.

As they got closer, the light of the portal seemed to startle Cas, and he started to shove Dean away. Dean had to put Cas down so he could take his green jacket off and place it over Cas’s head to calm him before he slowly continued to walk through the portal and into the bunker’s library where Jack, Rowena, Eileen, and Sam were waiting for them.

When they walked through, Dean quickly shushed them as he fell to his knees with Cas still in his arms, hidden under the jacket, and covering his ears at the sudden loud voices surrounding them.

Dean looked around at his family, all sharing the same worried glances knowing they were on the same page. Cas’s welcome home party would be pushed back until further notice.

Cas didn’t cry. His expression didn’t change much at all. All Cas did was sit or lay on Dean’s bed with the lights off. All but the desk light. It was an old lightbulb, so the light wasn’t a bright white like the rest of the place. Instead, it illuminated a soft golden glow against the wall.

Cas squinted at it at first, blinking so inhumanly at it, until all Cas did was stare at it. Whenever Dean made any move to turn it off or even just get near the lamp, Cas made a little whine at the back of his throat.

Little noises were the most Dean can get out of Cas. At least it brought him a little relief. It meant Cas could see him at that moment.

Cas still did that rapid talking or singing whenever it was a little bit too quiet. It made Dean wonder if Cas knew he was out of the Empty. Especially during those times when he would stare right past him, unblinking with cold eyes.

It was only the end of the second week when Dean broke down.

[continue under the cut or on AO3]

He didn’t mean to. He was trying so damn hard to keep it together, especially in front of Cas, but one night he just lost it. He can blame the lack of booze in his system, or as he wants, he can blame Sam, who came up to him about a stupid case. It pissed him off more than it should have. The fact that Sam even believed for a second that he would leave the bunker while Cas was like-well the way he was, just gave him enough of an excuse to raise his voice at someone.

Eileen had to step in and tell him to cool off.

Dean stormed off without a glance back and went to his room. He changed into his pajamas and climbed into bed beside Cas. He laid on his stomach as he wrapped one arm over the top of Cas’s waist, scooting close enough so that he could rest his head on Cas’s shoulder. He then opened his mouth to wish him goodnight just like every night, but something in Dean just broke.

He felt the pressure rise up his throat as he tried to hide his face into the familiar body beside him, but the sob still came.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it took me so long to go get you. Fuck, Cas, please.” Dean took a shaky breath, sniffling as he reached to hold Cas’s hand closer to him. “We missed- I...I missed you. I missed you so much, Cas.” Dean brought Cas’s hand up to his lips and kissed the knuckles before letting the hand rest by his head. His eyes closed as he sighs, “I love you. So come back to me, okay?"

The only response Dean got was a squeeze of the hand, which was enough hope for the future, and more than Dean could have ever asked for at that moment.

As the days went on, Cas didn’t change. Literally and figuratively. He was still an angel, so there was no need for him to shower or brush his teeth, but Dean swore that Cas’s facial hair was growing, so he liked shaving him at least once a week. Cas seemed to like it by the humming noise he made.

They did learn a couple of things as the days went on.

One, peace and quiet are not what they strive for.

It only brought Cas anxiety, and his humming or singing became much louder and more desperate. They fixed that problem with a Bluetooth speaker constantly playing music in the background, a playlist Jack made mixed in with a playlist Jack helped Dean make. It made the humming stop, and Cas started to roll over in bed. He even sat back against the headboard with his eyes closed a few times.

A month after Cas got back, Dean's phone died in the middle of the night, and the silence must have gotten to him. He covered his ears while he started muttering to himself again. Dean woke up and pulled Cas to his chest while softly sing to him in his still half-asleep phase. He didn’t know why that was his first instinct, but he went along with it cause it started to calm Cas down. Then, Cas held him back for the first time—tucking his head right under Dean's jaw and relaxing.

Dean tried not to stiffen at the touch; if he were honest with himself, he would admit he was trying not to cry because he was busy singing. Busy, not wanting to disrupt this moment.

That night Dean sang all night long until Jack checked on them in the early hours and connected his phone.

Two, always have a light source on.

The lamp was the first one they had. Cas constantly wanted it on, but it bothered Dean all the time when he wanted to sleep. So they bought a cool starlight projector, Sam’s idea, that kept the light on the cement ceiling and not on Dean’s face. Cas seemed to enjoy it as he laid on his back, watching it all night, letting Dean curl up on his side as he slept through the night.

Three, never leave Cas alone.

Nobody wanted to leave Cas alone for more than a minute if they could help it. So they made plans to keep him company at all hours of the day. Of course, they weren’t crowding him. They all came in one by one, except for Dean, who would say, “This is my room. I get to come and go as I damn well please.”

Sam liked to sit by Cas's side and talk nerd like they usually would while cleaning his guns or doing research to help another hunter. He would even pause during the one-way conversation to give Cas some time to answer or try to imagine what Cas would say in that situation. Sam was always calm, wanting to keep it as normal as possible while Cas just stared at him, sometimes his eyebrows knitted together, and Dean had to excuse himself as he felt his chest tighten up.

Eileen sat by his side and watched shows she liked while she talked to Cas out loud and signed so he could hear her voice. Even then, she didn’t talk much. Instead, she let the laptop do the talking as she pets Cas’s hair while sitting on the chair by the bed.

Jack came in the most next to Dean. He liked reading to him or talking about how his skills as the new God have improved thanks to Amara.

"Dad, I hope you'll be proud of me." Jack once whispered to Cas, who was having a bad day, checking out more than usual as he stared off into the distance. Eyes wide and almost screaming.

It was almost the end of the second month when another big mile-stone happened.

Jack was lying in bed with Cas while Dean was at his desk, cleaning his guns obsessively again. Jack was reading him a book he bought during his recent trip to the bookstore with Eileen, it was a Star Wars story.

Jack was getting into the book as he read slower but louder during a big fight scene. He got so excited that he even jumped up and looked back at Cas, "Did you hear that, Dad? He won!"

Cas smiled back at him- a genuine smile- and Dean almost dropped the piece of metal in his hand while Jack froze, his shoulders tightening up while he scrunched up his lips as if trying to hold back his cry.

Instead, he quietly composed himself as he asked in a shaky voice, "You want me to read the rest?"

Cas only blinked at him, keeping the slight smile, and Jack took it as a yes. Jack sat beside him again with a big smile plastered on his face, wiping his eyes every other word, as he rested his head on Cas's shoulder to continue reading. Dean didn’t miss when Cas tilted his head down to rest his cheek on Jack’s hair.

He had to excuse himself again.

After that day, Cas slowly started to open up a little more.

Once Dean woke up with Cas out of bed. Dean was already in full panic mode, his shoes on the wrong feet and jacket inside out as he called out for Sam.

Then just as quick as the panic came, relief flooded him when he found Cas in the kitchen trying to make coffee. He turned towards Dean and gave him the smallest of smiles, but it filled Dean with such solace that he just dragged himself to Cas’s space. Dean held his arms open to press Cas into him, and without a second thought, Cas fell right into him as if it was an everyday normal occurrence.

That was the start of Cas now being up and around the bunker. It was like when a baby starts crawling, everyone keeping tabs on the baby’s first steps, except this baby was an eon old celestial being.

The library, Dean’s room, the Dean-cave, and the kitchen were Cas’s favorite places just to sit. He always had Dean’s headphones on, softly playing music, just in case it went quiet, and it took a while for him to be able to walk around without those.

It was the sixth month when Cas wished Dean a goodnight first and then added, “I love you, Dean.”

Dean fought the lump in his throat, but Cas instantly pulled him in, his arms wrapped securely around him. He had so much he wanted to say to Cas just to hear his voice again, anything to listen to his voice again, but instead, he kisses Cas’s chest before saying, “I love you, too.”

Days came and went. Sometimes it seemed like Cas was getting better as he talked a little more, but then those days would come when he would just stare off into the stars on their ceiling. Not moving an inch or bothering to fake breath like he liked. Those days the music was a little louder, and Cas held on to Dean a little tighter.

“I don’t want to go back. Please,” Cas pleaded as he stared wide-eyed at the darkness in the corner of their room. As if he was having a nightmare with his eyes wide open. “Please don’t make me…I-I don’t want to be in the dark again!”

Dean took Cas’s face in between his hands to hold his gaze. Only talking when he knew Cas was seeing him. “It’s okay, Cas. I got you. Nobody’s taking you away from me ever again.”

“Promise?” Dean felt Cas’s grip at his shoulder, holding him with desperation.

“Promise.”

That’s how Cas became human.

The nightmares have him waking up screaming some days, but at least Cas knew he was safe from the Empty’s clutches.

He was going to live his human life being loved and taken care of, and Dean was happy to say he felt Cas was doing the same for him.

[missjackil]

My 15x20 Opinion (The SPN Finale)

Carry On

It’s taken me a few days to write this, because I’m an emotional wreck. I still cant wrap my head around the fact that the show is over, and in such a permentant way. I’m not exagerating when I say, it feels like someone I love in real life  died. In 2001 I lost my best friend since I was 7 (I was 34 at the time) and in 2011 I lost the love of my life, in 2018 I lost my Dad. This feels the same, and as with the others, it has its own unique pain. Personal just to me and how does my ife change because of it. So please forgive me in advance for periods of silence I may have, as well as days where I don’t shut up. This grief is real.

Anyway, about the episode, the first half was wonerful! Domestic Winchesters is one of my favorite things! Dean snuggling Miracle could not get any cuter, and half naked, fresh from the shower Sam couldnt get any hotter! Teeth brushing, bed making, laundry doing *sigh* what more can a fan girl ask for? Oh yeah!! Sam smushing pie in Dean’s face!! God I love these two!

My anxiety built as the boys went on their hunt. I new this would be where shit hit the fan, but I wasn’t prepared for the level of shock I experienced. When the Vamp got Sam down and Dean wasn’t watching, I was sure this would be where Sam gets mortally wounded and we get the epic, emotional death scene, which would surely be followed by Dean going into a rage, losing his shit on the rest of the vamps and getting himself killed in the process, but that’s not how it went. When Dean backed into the rebar I just screamed “NOOOOOOO!! NO NO NO NO!!!”  I wasn’t ready for Sam to be the survivor and I was NOT ready for how deeply painful Dean’s death scene would be. Im nowhere near over it yet. I started sobbing, and didn’t stop for the next 2 hours.

Sam’s grief was devistating, I felt all of it. J2 acted their asses off and from what they’d said, they had broken character at times and what we got was real. When Sam got a phone call for a case and he took the dog with him, looked around the bunker and shut all the lights off, I knew he wasnt coming back. 

Switch over to Dean in Heaven with Bobby, explaining that Jack fixed it so Heaven is open now, no private worlds, everyone could move around freely. This stung a little bit, thinking it kind of negated Sam and Dean’s Heaven, but it does’t really. The fact that it had been acknowledged that Heaven had been separate worlds, shows me they didn’t forget, and this is why now everyone can be together.

Dean said it was :”almost perfect” and Bobby knew why and said “He’ll be along” knowing Dean wont truly be happy without Sam. Then Dean took a drive  in Baby, he didn’t go see mom and dad, he didnt go find Cas, he went to a bridge to wait patiently for Sam.

Now we flash back over to Sam. When I saw him with a kid, my heart sunk. They’re gonna ruin what was absolutey beautiful so far by Sam living a happy life with Eileen and their kid!! But, that’s not really how it was, was it? There was no emphisis at all on Eileen or even if it was her he ended up with, or even how much a part of Sam and Dean Jr’s life she was. It was always just Sam and Dean Jr. When elder Sam went in the garage and uncovered Baby and just sat in her and cried, I knew he may be happy with his boy but his life is empty without his brother. 15, 20 years later, Sam still grieves. Finally, Sam is an old man, bed ridden and on machines, still wearing Dean’s watch, and he sheds one last tear as Dean Jr lets him go. 

Ok to me, Sam didn’t get “A long happy normal life” after Dean died. Sam existed because he promised Dean he would, but he was miserable without him. What’s that line from Red Meat we all love? “After everything we survived together, I watched the man I love die. There’s no normal after that” So, this to me was no slap in the Winchester face, this is poor Sam suffering from 6 mos old till the moment he died as a sick old man.

Flash back over to Dean. still waiting on that bridge and without even turning around, a smile spreads accross his face ... he’s finally here! “Hiya Sam” and there he is, just the way Dean remembered him, not a sick old man. Sam smiles and just says “Dean” and we have the best and happiest brohug ever!! The break and walk to the rail to look out over Heaven. Dean’s arm atill around Sam, he looks at him with such adoration. and his expression couldn’t be mistaken for anything else besides “Now, it’s perfect” and my boys are together safe and at peace for eternity.....The End.

This finale wasn;t what I wanted per se, though I ultimately wanted the boys together in the end and I got that, so I am abundantly grateful, knowing how many BAD ways this could have gone. Ultimately I would have liked an end like the end of 15x19, where theyre alive to fight another day and drive into the sunset, or to retire and have their toes in the sand somewhere. Or even drive off a cliff together, hand in hand, but I wouldnt have gotten than raw excruciating display of pure unbreakable love. “I love you so much... my little brother” is the best thing Ive ever heard. Their heads pressed together was the most touching thing Ive ever seen. So Im grateful. 

After gnawing on it, thinking, and allowing some time to pass, Im gonna say I loved the ending. It wasn’t perfect but Im satisfied. It took a long time to get to “Now it’s perfect” which I will take with me as the last words of the show (even though they technically were never spoken) but it was worth the journey. 

So on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, Ill give Carry on a 10. Thank you Dabb for drowning me in bro love, and thank you J2 for kicking it in the ass and pouring your heart and souls into it. 

Rest in Peace boys. I love you both so very much.💔😭💕

[nickelkeep]

15x19 Inherit the Earth Liveblog.

REALLY Y’ALL. I’M DOING THIS AGAIN?

Fuck my life.

Ugh. The Road So Far...

Starting in Japan.

New York

I guess this is Kansas?

Yep, there’s Sam and Jack. Dean’s driving up in Baby, and everyone is gone.

Who’s going to ask?

Nope. Minnesota. I forgot, Hastings.

THERE IT IS.

Jack’s going to spill that he knows? 

Sam’s calling everyone. JODY! NO!

It’s like everyone just left.

Damn, just how this is shot... it’s so empty.

JACK’S CALLING OUT FOR CAS. JUST LIKE BEFORE.

Wait. Things are dying as he walks by.

Sam’s given up hope. 😭

Chuck. You asshole.

BULLSHIT IT’S NOT CANON. HE TOLD CHUCK TO BRING CAS BACK.

“All because you wouldn’t take the knee.” Chuck is an asshole. I love how evil he’s become.

Jack can’t sleep.

Dean is passed out with a bottle of Jack.

What does Jack hear?

There’s something out there besides us. MICHAEL!

Puppy! “Who would have known that finding a dog would feel like a miracle?”

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. CHUCK YOU FUCKER.

GIMME THE MICHAEL. PLEASE.

You might not know what it is you’re facing, but we do.

“It is St. Michael’s, after all.”

NO. ADAM IS GONE?

So Michael was God’s PR company. Makes sense.

All the thunder and lighting. Very, very, frightening.

Michael’s on board? Just like that. I don’t blame him.

Can Michael open it?

Holy fuck, that’s some powerful magic.

I wonder if Jack can open it.

Commercial thoughts: My heart hurts.

WHAT? CAS?

THERE’S NO FUCKING WAY.

FUCK OFF. GET HIM OUT OF HERE.

“OH THAT IS NOT HAPPENING.”

He brought a reaper.

OH FUCK. NEW DEATH

I don’t like Betty.

You’ve been death for an hour.

Go figure. Lucifer is a double agent. No surprise. This is 5 minutes too much of Lucifer.

MIKE. NO.

WHY IS THE ARCHANGEL BLADE NOT WORKING?

IT DID WORK! YAY!

Commercial thoughts: That actually really threw off the pacing of the episode.

Dean bonding with Michael? I like this.

An unstoppable force that’ll find Chuck and stop him?

At an exact place at an exact angel of the sun?

That’s a Chuck ending, my dudes.

DAMMIT. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

...

I’m actually kind of angry.

I was fucking rooting for Mike to be a good guy.

LOL, SAM. One for the road. That saved the episode.

“I can get my hands dirty.” 

Rob had to have so much fun with this. Tiny guy beating up on giants.

Keep getting up boys. Please. Fight him.

Don’t listen to him.

Why can’t he snap Jack?

JACK? YES YES YES

NOUGAT BABY SAVES THE DAY

“We won.”

It’s blank?

Mikey’s a cuck.

THEY MADE UP A SPELL. OMG

Jack absorbed all the power. OMG OMG OMG

“This is why you’re my favorites.”

They’re not going to kill you. They’re just going to walk away.

It’s not his power anymore.

It’s the ending where you grow old. You get sick. You die. Where you’re forgotten. THIS IS AMAZING!

Hearing Chuck Sob? YAS

There’s still 15 minutes left in the episode? Okay. It’s technically commercial so like 10.

Commercial Thoughts: My heart is beating. I love this.

Okay, we’re back, and the world is still empty.

Jack, BBY. He’s bringing all the people back. It’s like they were never gone.

The puppy!

He’s got Amara with him.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JACK, BBY. NO. Your Dads need you.

...MY BABY IS ALL GROWN UP.

Goodbye, instead of Hello, with his little wave.

“To Everyone we lost along the way...”

Chuck’s no longer writing the story.

ALL THE NAMES ON THE TABLE.

I AM SO FUCKING CONFUSED RIGHT NOW... And actually kind of insulted.

What the fuck is this. A cheesy fucking montage? Next week’s episode has a lot to make up.

There’s not even anything to be excited about...

.

.

.

Okay. Just a reminder. Breathe deep. Take it slowly. There’s one episode left. This was the Bros Only episode for the Bronlies. The ones who want the brothers alone. Next week? Next week is ours. Next week is for the Family don’t end in blood.

[samuelkwinchester]

14.11 - Sister!Winchester

Warnings: Language, Gore (kind of?), Mentions of rape, Unwanted touching (isn’t super detailed and doesn’t get very far, but please avoid if easily triggered).

Summary: Hope Winchester is Sam and Dean’s little sister from a different mom. This takes place during the events of season 14 episode 11, “Damaged Goods,” when Dean visits his mother and Nick is searching for her so that he can get revenge. Unfortunately, Hope gets caught in the crossfire between Nick and his obsession to find who killed his family

(I know that the picture is not from the episode, but bear with me. Also, it is not mine)

Enjoy :)

“Sam, I’m worried about Dean…” I whispered into the phone.

“What’s wrong, Hope?” Sammy asked, his breath hitching in his throat.

“Dean is getting real close with Mar- mom. Plus he’s been in the shed for almost an hour now. There’s a lot of noise going on. I think it’s a blowtorch and maybe some sort of power saw? I don’t know. Either way, he had a lot of books with him. And that’s really not like him. You know that, Sam. He’s just not himself. I mean, I know with Michael being stuck in his head and all, but really thi-”

“Hope. Breathe.” Sam commanded through the phone. “It’s gonna be okay. I’ll be over in maybe four hours, give or take. Stay there, stay alert, and stay safe. You have your phone, so call me if you need me. I’ll be there soon, okay?”

“O-okay.” I said shallowly. The phone went dead.

I got up from my curled up position on my bed. The sun had gone down, and the room was no longer visible. I shivered, remembering what dad had said about the dark. My feet touched the cold, bedroom floor. I carefully guided myself toward the lightswitch, finding the panel, and switching it on. 

The floor was pristine, obviously hadn’t been walked on in at least a few months. I looked in the mirror next to the doorway. There I stood, dressed in a simple pair of light denim ripped jeans (which Sam and Dean gave me a lot of crap for), a black short-sleeved undershirt, and a red and black flannel. My socks were black, warm, and fuzzy. Dean got them for me around Halloween, when the weather started to get cold. 

I quickly looked away from the mirror, and walked into the hallway, down the wood stairs. I walked into the kitchen, smelling something greasy and… familiar?

“Hope!” Dean smiled at me from the kitchen. “You hungry? Mom and I were making and old favorite- Winchester Surprise!”

I forced a smile on my face. “Of course! Let me go wash up real quick and I’ll join you guys.” Excusing myself to the restroom, I locked the door and leaned against it, doing the one thing I haven’t done in over a year.

“Castiel? If you are hearing this, I need you to stay where you are. I just wanted to tell you that I’m with Dean and Mary. Dean doesn’t seem to be doing well. He’s not like himself. I just wanted to tell you so that you could keep Jack posted. He deserves to know as much as I do, especially with everything going on right now. I’ll keep you up to date.”

//

“Jeez, Dean. I can’t believe you remember how I used to feed you and John this dish. It’s so… greasy.” Mary smiled, reliving old memories that I obviously wasn’t apart of.

“How could I forget? I love this stuff.” Dean smiled, stuffing his face with this interesting concoction. Meanwhile, I just picked at my food.

“Honey, what’s wrong?” Mar- mom asked.

“I’m just… Not feeling well. I think I might take a walk. Some fresh air might help.” I said, slowly getting up from the dinner table. Before I could get far, Dean grabbed my hand.

“Don’t forget your gun. I’m not letting you step out of my sight without it, okay? Especially out there.” Dean’s eyes glazed over, and I knew that something was eating him up.

“O-okay. Love you, D.” I said before grabbing my gun from the buffet table. Putting the gun in my waistband, I slipped my boots on and walked out the door.

The woods were somewhat of a sanctuary- especially where I’m from. I was raised in Seattle before Sam and Dean found me. Dad was on a case there and met my mom. I was conceived the night they met. Then Dad up and left, but came around for the few birthdays I had (before he died) and the occasional Christmas or Halloween (again, very few). I wasn’t completely special to him, but I was his child. And there was still love given to me from him.

He’d tell me about my brothers before I had even met them. He said that Sammy was a genius going to college so that he could do something with his life besides ‘the family business’- which was what he would call it back then. Dean was described as the legacy of the family, the one who would continue the business.

I hadn’t met them before John died.

Sam and Dean had barged into my house the night my mom died. I was five years old when the demon was killed. That’s when I started touring with the Winchester duo, and I contributed as the final part to the trio. I went through it all with them but stayed with Bobby a lot. When Mary came into the picture, I didn’t know how to react. She wasn’t my mom, but I was Sam and Dean's sister. She accepted me as her own early on, and I love her for it, but I’m still adjusting.

As I walked away from the cabin, I noticed headlights in the distance. I had a bad feeling about it, but I walked away. I knew I would regret it, but I didn’t just how much. 

Continuing into the woods, I thought about Dean. What was he doing in the barn? Building something maybe? Or was he just releasing some pent up feelings? Either way, something was up, and I knew there was something he was keeping from me. I know he was possessed by apocalypse Michael, but he knows that at one point I was possessed by Michael from this world. I may not have been possessed for long, but it was still hell. I can remember that much. Especially because Michael only talked about wanting to use my brothers so that he could kill his own. He messed with my head too, and Dean doesn’t realize it. I want him to know I’m here. I need him to know I’m here. He shouldn’t go through this alone. He didn’t let me go through it alone.

I heard sirens coming from the dirt road, which made me feel a little safer but also a little more on edge. I didn’t think there was anything obviously wrong, so it was a shock to know the van was being looked for.

 I quickly returned to the road, the cabin nowhere in sight, and turned to see Donna and… Nick? They were fighting, and for a moment it looked like Donna had the upper hand. Then Nick pulled the taser out from nowhere and tazed Donna. I froze, not knowing what to do. I could yell, but that would bring attention to myself. I watched as Nick effortlessly lifted Donna, and put her in the cop car. As he finished up, he turned around and locked eyes on my distant figure.

My blood ran cold- and not because it was near 40 degrees.

I had heard about a killer roaming around the Pike Creek area in Delaware, but I didn’t put two and two together. I should have known- I should have said something.

Nick started to walk towards me, and my body kicked into fight or flight mode.

I started with a jogging pace, getting away from Nick. I started to sprint as I heard a clicking noise. While trying to run in a zig-zag pattern I heard a ‘boom’ and then pain spread throughout my hip. I cried out, the pain was sudden and unforgiving. As I fell, I could feel the blood staining my clothes and my waist. My left hand moved to the wound so I could attempt to stop some bleeding. Everything was in slow motion. I hit the ground with a hard ‘thud’, my head spinning. The pain was almost unbearable, but I’ve had worse. I heard running footsteps and I knew he was coming for me. I took my hand off of the wound and pushed myself back up. I suppressed a groan as I put pressure on my leg, which traveled to my hip. I started to run towards the cabin, praying that I could make it before I either bled out or Nick caught me. 

I could see lights, indicating I was close to Dean. Maybe not as close as I’d like, but it was something. Hope filled my veins and pushed me forward. I was so close to being home, so close to having the upper hand in this fight, so close to telling Dean that it was going to be okay. That I was going to be there for him.

Until I wasn’t close anymore.

Hands traveled to my hips, grabbing hard and intentionally pressing against my damaged hip. I choked out a quiet sob. I was caught, and I couldn’t see the light in this situation anymore. I wasn’t just scared- I was terrified. Nowhere left to go.

Game over.

“Where do you think you’re going, princess?” Nick sneered into my ear, obviously rubbing his victory into my face.

“Fuck. You.” I growled. I began to get defensive. I knew that he didn’t need me for anything, but he didn’t want his cover blown either. The worst outcome was that I’d be killed right now, leaving Dean with Michael and without Mary. I’m praying that he doesn’t go down that road.

“Feisty, huh? We can fix that real quick,” Nick pushed harder onto the bullet hole decorating my hip. I hissed at him. “Okay. That didn’t work… I could try something else. Something I remembered from when I was shacked up with Lucifer…”

Okay, I was wrong. Being killed wasn’t the worst scenario.

Nick ran his other hand, the one not putting pressure on my hip, down to my thing and squeezed just slightly. He started to move up, and he pressed up against me. He stopped right before he reached a place I definitely didn’t want him to touch.

“We have two options, Little Winchester. Either you give up, or I bring up some repressed memories. Some that haven’t seen the light of day since they were scarred into your pretty little head. But hey, it’s your choice.” Nick taunted.

My mind was racing a million miles per second. I felt dizzy and nauseous. I actually thought about throwing up on his shoes, but I don’t think I could aim for them. But in all seriousness, my mind was at war with itself. I didn’t want to just give up and be submissive, but I couldn’t risk being killed, or worse.

“Alright. I’ll behave. But you have to promise me something.” I said with the strongest voice I could come up with.

“And… What would that be, Hope?” Nick grinned against my ear.

“Keep Dean and Mary alive. They don’t need to be killed.” I was practically begging and he knew it.

“Okay. We have a deal.” He smiled as he took his hand off my thigh. 

I let out a sigh of relief, before suddenly being spun around and lifted over his shoulder. He turned and walked towards the van. The back door of the van was opened and I was shoved inside. I held in a cry as I somehow landed on my hip (just my luck). Next thing I knew the van doors were slammed shut, and my vision was fading fast. My last thoughts were dedicated to my brothers, praying that they’d find me or move on if they didn’t, before I blacked out entirely.

//

*2nd POV*

“-Dean, he’s going after your mom,” Donna sighed into the phone.

“He who?” Dean asked, feeling very confused yet on guard.

“Uh, some guy named Nick.” Donna finally spit out, and Dean acted immediately.

Dean ran outside after hanging up with Donna, gun in hand. He was going to find that bastard before he found Mary. He walked out of the bushes and onto the dirt road, taking a faster pace. Sticks were broken behind him, and in less than a second his gun was cocked and pointed to whoever was behind him.

“Dean! Woah, easy!” Sam yelled, clearly not wanting to get shot by his brother. “Dean, what’s going on here?”

“It’s Mom,” he rasped. “She’s gone.”

//

Mary awoke in the van, her head pounding. Her head was resting on something… soft? She slowly opened her eyes to see the ceiling of the van. She pushed herself up and turned to see Hope laying on the floor, bleeding at a steady pace.

“Oh god!” Mary yelled. “Help!”

She scanned the back for anything that could stop the bleeding. She found an old cloth and some alcohol. Perfect. After she shredded the cloth, she poured alcohol onto it and tied it tight around Hope's waist, making sure that it was covering and putting pressure on the wound. Hope shot up, eyes wide open, and fear evident in her eyes.

//

*1st POV*

I shot up, my eyes wide open, and my heart beating out of my chest. I took in a shaky breath and saw Mary leaning over me.

“Oh, thank god.” She said, tears rolling down her face.

“Hey, Mary.” I croaked out. Smiling, she helped me sit up against her.

The back door swung open, and Nick was standing there with a smirk on his face. I’m not entirely sure why he needed Mary, but I could tell that whatever the reason, it wasn’t good.

“Morning, Ladies!” Nick sang, before hopping into the back with us. Mary pushed me to the far corner, trying to get me as far away from Nick as possible. “Oh, come on, Mary! I wasn’t going to do anything… yet…” He smiled viciously.

“Alright, what do you want?” Mary asked, clearly not happy with the situation she was in.

“You know… The demons, they know where you are,” Nick said, taking a seat across from me. “They keep track of you, you and your kids. They’re sort of scared of you. So wherever you are, they’re not. So that’s how I got to Hibbing. I didn’t have an address. Luckily, that- that perky little sheriff lady- what’s her name? Deborah? Debbie? Something? Whatever. She had some emails on her cellphone talking about you and her family cabin, so here I am.” Mary just glared at him while he rambled.

“I know that’s a lot to take in, but… And if you feel like screaming, you can- you can go ahead cause we’re pretty remote…”

“Nick,” Mary started. “What are you doing?”

Nick got up suddenly and moved right next to me as I flinched. Mary looked slightly afraid, but kept it in knowing that I was watching.

“Tonya Baker,” Nick began. “Yeah, you knew her. You saved her life. Her whole girl scout troop was murdered and she was the only survivor, thanks to you. These two demons were about to finish her off, and then you came in and chased one away but you faced off against the other one, a demon named Abraxas.”

“I remember. So?” Mary snapped.

“So? Abraxas murdered my family the same way he killed those girls- bloody, brutal, slow.” Mary's face fell at his confession, and even I felt bad.

“I’m sorry, Nick,” Mary started. “But you could have just asked me. This, shooting Hope, this is cr-”

“Crazy?” Nick asked, finishing her sentence. “What would you have told me?”

“That I killed him!” Mary raised her voice. “Abraxas is dead.”

“So you would have lied to me?” My eyes widened at his statement. “You didn’t kill him, you trapped him in a box. How’d you do it?”

Mary stuttered. Nick grabbed her coat and shook her. “Tell. Me.”

“Okay, okay. We put him in an Enochian box. He’s contained.”

“Do you have him?” Nick asked, clearly done with beating around the bush.

“No… but I can take you to him.”

//

Dean and Sam were pacing, waiting for a response from Donna’s radio. Dean was beyond worried. When Sam and him got back, Dean immediately went upstairs to look for Hope. He was praying that she got back while he was sleeping, but when he opened the door to her room, she wasn’t there, and he lost it. Sam was stunned for a minute but began to worry more and more.

Eventually Donna got a trace, and they sped off to Grand Rapids.

//

We pulled up to a storage unit that, Mary said, had the box containing Abraxas. Nick pulled Mary out of the van, then me. He pulled me along as I struggled to keep up. Mary unlocked the door, and he pushed her inside first before pulling me in.

“Alright, where is it?” Nick asked. Mary remained silent. “Listen, if you tell me where it is, you and little Winchester get to walk away.”

Mary sighed, obviously struggling with her decisions.

“It’s over there.”

Nick looked around while Mary stood still.

“Where is it?” Nick asked, clearly getting angrier by the minute.

“In the lockers…” Mary said. “Too bad I don’t have the key.”

I smiled a little at how dumb she was playing. I liked her style. Nick shrugged, grabbed a machete, and chopped off the lock, moving into the room with the lockers.

“Which one?” Nick asked. Mary just shrugged, not giving him a clear answer.

Nick grunted and shoved me towards Mary. He started to chop off locks again while Mary helped me keep steady.

“Just sit here, hun. Against the lockers.” I nodded and slid down the lockers onto the floor. I was losing steam, and I didn’t know when Dean or Donna would find us. I was rooting for sooner, rather than later.

“Open the box.” Nick said as I looked up.

“Sorry, but you need a host. It can’t be you, it can’t be me,” She lifted her shirt to show her tattoo. “And, it can’t be Hope.” She lifted up my shirt so he could see the tattoo on my side.

“Well, then I’ll improvise.” Nick said, before leaving.

//

Nick walked in with the security guard from the post out front. He sat him down and pulled the bag off of his head.

“Nick don’t do this-”

“How do I open this thing?” Nick cut her off.

“I don’t know.” Mary sighed.

Nick turned around while trying to figure out the box, which gave Mary a chance to walk up behind him and kick his knees out from under him. She attempted to grab the dropped box, but Nick got back up and kicked her over while she was laying on the ground. I tried to get up and help, but everything was still spinning, and I couldn’t see who was who at this point. I was useless. So I prayed that it wasn’t too late to save us all.

“I said I could handle it!” Nick yelled as he pushed her up against the fence. Nick continued to mess with the box, but then threw it onto the ground. Nick, frustrated as ever, picked up the drill and drilled into the box. Black smoke came from the black cube and flew right into the security guards' mouth.

“Heya, Blondie.” Abraxis cooed at Mary, then looked my way. “Who’s your cute friend?”

“Why’d you kill my family?” Nick demanded.

“Have to be more specific.” Abraxis smirked, clearly messing around.

“Pike Creek, Delaware.” Nick stated, getting emotional.

“Oh. Nick. Why are you walking and talking? I thought the big man had you on lockdown.”

“He’s dead. Now, why did you kill my family?” Nick raised his voice.

“Kill her first, then we’ll talk.” Abraxas looked towards me. “Mary here locked me in a box and I hold a grudge. But I want her to suffer instead. Kill the girl nice and slow, then maybe we’ll talk.”

Nick looked at me.

“Nick,” Mary started with a grin on her face. But Nick looked serious about going through with it. And I was terrified. “Nick! Don’t do it!”

Nick walked toward me slowly, and suddenly my adrenaline kicked in. I needed to get up and run. I tried pushing myself up, but Nick picked up his pace and pounced on me. He straddled my waist as he bound my arms together.

“You ready to die, little Winchester?” Nick sneered as he prepared his knife. He lifted up the knife, and was about to drive it into my stomach, but a gunshot cut him off.

“GET AWAY FROM HER!” Sam yelled, holding Nick at gunpoint.

Nick cowered away from me, and Dean came rushing over to me. His eyes filled with rage as he released my arms and saw my bloody hip. Sam was helping Mary out of her handcuffs while I tried to stand up against the lockers.

“Hey, De.” I said weakly.

“Hey sweetheart.” Dean smiled slightly, struggling to watch me keep myself up.

“Is she okay?” Sam asked, his voice wavering.

“Not sure, Sammy.” Dean sighed. Sam rushed over and gave me a bear hug. I hissed when he held me tight against him.

“What’s wr-” Sam saw my bloody hip, and his face fell. “No, Hope…”

“I-It’s okay, Sammy. I’ll make it.” I chuckled lightly. Sam gave me a kiss on the forehead before pointing his gun at Nick again.

“What are you doing?” Sam questioned.

“What I have to.” Nick said, before grabbing a knife and scraping off a piece of the devil's trap.

“NO-” We all yelled, before being lifted into the air and slammed onto the floor. I groaned out in pain as the cloth fell off of my hip. More blood started to pour onto the floor.

“You wanna know why I killed your family? I was following orders-” Abraxas started.

“From who?” Nick pressed, not giving up.

“Who do you think? Lucifer.” Abraxas smirked.

“I-I don’t understand.” Nick stuttered. “Why me?!”

“You were chosen, but you’re not special. We threw a dart at a phone book and-”

“Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, omnis satanica-”

“Stop,” Abraxas said as he forced Dean into one of the storage shelves.

“Dean!” I coughed, looking back to make sure he was okay. He groaned and tried to push himself back up.

“So. Who dies first?” Abraxis asked, before Nick pulled his head back, forced him onto his knees, and stabbed him in the chest.

Nick got up and started swiping at anyone who would come near him. 

“Take it easy!” Sam yelled, before Donna shot him in the leg and M- mom knocked him out.

“Payback, bitch.” I choked out a quiet laugh while trying to fight the darkness from taking over.

“Hope!” Sam and Dean yelled, rushing over to me.

“You gotta stay with us, sissy. Okay?” Dean asked, trying to keep me awake.

“N-no pr-omises…” I smirked.

“Even with a bullet in your hip and at least a quarter of your blood on the floor, you’re still a pain in our asses.” Dean chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.

“I try, De.” I smiled, before slipping into the darkness.

//

I woke up to Dean by my side. I tried to sit up, but my hip was burning.

“Woah. That’s some kick.” I joked, pushing myself up to the headboard. The pain wasn’t nearly as bad, but it still hurt.

“Take it easy, kiddo.” Dean ordered, clearly not messing around. “How are you feeling?”

“Like hell, but I’ll be okay.” I tried to smile, but I just couldn’t. The fight was finally over, and somehow we won. The tears came right after, but I let them fall.

“Hey, it’s okay, sweetheart. It’s over now, I promise.” Dean climbed into the bed with me and held my head against his chest.

“H-he did so much more, De… So much more than just this.” I sobbed.

Sam quietly entered the room while Dean and I sat in silence. He sat down on my other side and kissed my head, letting me know that he was here too.

“W-when he shot me, he… He said he remembered something about me from when Lucifer was possessing him…” I stuttered, more tears flowing but I didn’t care.

“What’d he say, kiddo?” Dean asked, clearly defensive.

“H-he said that he’d use something against me if I didn’t stop fighting him… He moved his other hand to my thigh a-and…” I sucked in a breath, trying to stay calm even though everything in me wanted to scream and thrash. “He made me think he was going to touch me… He knew what had happened to m-me bef-fore… I thought he was going to r-rape me-” I sobbed, wanting to crawl out of my own skin.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Dean growled lowly, getting out of the bed and pacing the floor. “How did he know? Lucifer wasn’t even apart of that… That was another assholes fault…” Deans held his head in his hands.

Sammy comforted me as I continued to sob. My face was buried in his chest, but I didn’t care. Dean sat back down and held me.

“We’re gonna fix this, okay? We’ll get through it together. You’ll always have us. Always.” Sam choked out, trying not to lose it because he wanted to be strong for me.

“We got you, Hope. We love you.”

[thecleverdame]

Sam x Reader

Summary: Sam meets Y/N at her brother's funeral and finds a life he didn't know he could fit into.

Warnings: Death of a sibling, death of a child, smut, fluff

Beta:  @ilikaicalie

-

They roll into town just as fall is turning the forest bronze on the east coast. It’s a picturesque New England town, charming stores along the main street and townsfolk preparing for the last tourist invasion of the year. All while the trees fight to keep their tresses in the nippy autumn sky.

171 W. Bluebell Lane

The Kingston house looks like a brick castle that should be made of gingerbread and gumdrops. It’s a three-story colonial house, framed by a white picket fence and moated by way of a well-manicured lawn.

“Places like this always freak me out.” Dean laments, pulling at the knot of his tie.

Sam just chuckles.

Sam dreamed of growing up in a home like this. As a boy he imagined stable, safe families eating well-balanced meals together in ghoul-free dining rooms across America. Those dreams faded quickly as his dad tossed him a box of hostess cupcakes into the back seat of the Impala.

They have to park a couple blocks away. There’s a steady stream of black-clad mourners making their way up the front walk. Sam’s glad they wore the suits, Dean fought for something more casual but this seems more appropriate.

Sam wishes they would have brought a casserole or flowers. Anything to help him feel more reverent. They’ve been to plenty of wakes before, but the ones for children are always the worst - they make his gut ache.

There’s a larger-than-life picture of the kid set up in the living room. A cheerful five-year-old boy smiling wide and full of life.

He doesn’t want to be there. It’s been months of close quarters and hard motel mattresses. He and Dean are brothers, nothing will break that bond, but they both need to get the fuck away from each other. Sam’s had a dull headache for a week now, a tender throb in his temple he thinks he might be able to sooth if he could just get a moment to himself, just an elusive moment of silence.

Dean wanders off into the sea of somber faces and Sam makes his way into the backyard to check things out. It’s a cold blustery day, the wind is rattling the chains on the empty swing set, making a metal on metal clank that strikes a chord, like a tolling bell for mortality.

Sam shakes off the chill and sits down on the picnic table, taking a moment for himself. It’s a delicious second of peace he typically doesn’t snag, that is until she bursts out the back door. She almost trips down the steps, sniffling and dabbing at her nose with a kleenex as she steadies herself on the iron railing.

She’s wearing a frilly little dress, something that a younger girl might wear for a birthday party, except this one is all black.

By the time she notices Sam, she’s already barreling in his direction. She looks hesitant but sits down beside him anyway. He thinks she’s probably a knock out when her nose isn’t leaking like a sieve and red-raw from crying. She rubs bloodshot eyes with her thumb and index finger before wiping at her nose.

“Hey,” she whispers, giving him a good once-over as she tugs at the hem of her dress. The skirt is too short, doing a less than adequate job of covering her legs. She’s tall and her long legs are bare and he can see the tiny goosebumps on her thighs. He forces himself to look her in the face.

“I’m Sam.” He offers gingerly.

“Y/N.” She forces a smile that quickly breaks as she bursts into tears.

“Are you okay?” Sam frowns, instantly regretting the question. He’s nervous, that hasn’t happened in a while.

“No, I’m not okay. I’m a fucking mess.” She stops to wipe tears off her rosy cheeks. It hits Sam like a ton of bricks; she’s the older sister, the person they came to talk to.

She’s the one who was there when the kid, her brother, died.

Dean showed him a photo of her yesterday but it must have been old because he wasn’t prepared for this breathtaking woman who’s falling apart in front of him.

“I don’t want to go back in there,” she hiccups, looking at the house. Shaking her head, rogue tears slide from the corner of her eye.

“I wouldn’t either,” he confides.

“It’s so damn cold out here, move a little closer.” She commands and Sam doesn’t know what to make of her when she raises his arm up and wriggles against his side, laughing through tears. “I’m usually not this confident, you must think I’m a nut job.”

“It’s fine, it is cold out…you’re dealing with a lot. I think you get a free pass for this one.” He shrugs, letting his armrest gently on her shoulders.

“I’m gonna miss him so much.” She wrings her hands, her face crumpling in that nasty way when there’s too much pain as her cheeks blush even rosier. “This hurts so bad,” she whispers as if it stings to talk and then sobs into her hands so relentlessly that eventually, she doubles over.

One of her legs is pressed against his thigh, a naked soft leg that he wants to reach out to touch.

She sniffles.

He feels like a tactless pervert.

Sam stays with her until the tips of his ears go numb. He thinks about how much it hurt when he lost Dean. That raw throbbing in his chest he was convinced would kill him (for a while he wished it had). He wants to help her but it’s better to not get involved. They won't be around that long.

Sam tells her he’s a private investigator. She nods but he can see she doesn’t give two shits about anything other than her own nauseating grief.

The wind picks up and Sam’s so cold he shakes, teeth chattering his skull. She pulls away and he assumes she’s about to apologize for keeping him outside. Instead her eyes narrow and she groans. “I’m gonna puke.”

Jogging towards the house she offers one final glance back at him as she opens the back door. “Thanks, Sam!”

--

She’s not at the funeral. Dean stays there and Sam goes to find her.

Sam wanders on the front lawn of her parent's house for a half hour, stomping dead leaves and trying to determine exactly what’s wrong with him that he can’t bring himself to knock on the door like a normal person.

He’s done this a thousand times before.

After watching him pace back and forth through fallen leaves like a lumbering giant Y/N opens up the front door and calls out to him. “What are you doing?”

He tells her the truth. Tells her he came back to check on her, that he can’t stop thinking about her pain. She looks significantly better than the day before, but her eyes are still red and lips chapped. And she’s still holding onto a box of  Kleenex like it might save her life.

--

Sam sits next to her on jack-o-lantern sheets in Wes’ bedroom. She explains that he loved Halloween. He watches her as she traces one of the pumpkins on his child size pillow. Dragging the pillow into her lap she presses her face into it.

“It still smells like him,” she whispers.

“Y/N...what exactly happened?”

She doesn’t hesitate.

“He wanted me to read to him in the pile of leaves we raked in the front yard. Wes was nuts about this one book, The House of Boo, his favorite. So he sat in my lap and we read and then he just kinda, slumped back into me. I thought he was cuddling at first or maybe he fell asleep. They told me his heart just…stopped”

“Oh, God.” Sam murmurs. “I’m so sorry.”

“I never thought I’d have a little brother, no one did. I mean, I’m almost twenty years older…”

Sam could tell her, but it’s better than she never knows what actually happened to Wes. There’s no reason to tear her world apart.

When he leaves that day he’s prepared to say his goodbyes and walk away for good. But she calls to him down the driveway.

“Can I see you again?”

-

Sam sees Y/N more or less every night for a month. After a couple of days she starts crying less and talking more. They go to dinner, to the movies, to the bookstore. It’s boring and normal and Sam loves every second of it.

She’s charming and delicate and witty. She makes him laugh. She’s holding his hand while she dances and sings in the isle at the midnight viewing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

She’s a terrible choice for his life, she’s afraid of everything; spiders, big dogs, horror movies, meteorites hitting the earth. He can’t help but feel a thrill run up his spine when she walks closer to him at night, finding a warm, safe place at his side, under his arm.

--

When she works up the nerve to sleep in her own house for the first time since her brother died, Sam stays with her. They spend most of the night in the kitchen talking about tv shows from their childhood and where they’d travel if they could go anywhere in the world.

“My grandmother left me this house,” she smiles softly sitting next to him at the dining room table. “When I first moved in it felt like coming home.”

“It doesn’t anymore?”

Sam’s ears perk up when she tells him she thinks it’s haunted.

“It’s strange, Wes loved it here, he’d spend every Friday night with me. Sam...I still see him sometimes, I know it sounds crazy but when I was here yesterday it’s like I could feel him. And I have these dreams, vivid fucking dreams that I swear are real. “You probably think I’m nuts, huh?”

“You never know.” He nods. “But I don’t think you’re nuts.”

She’s got this happy, tired grin on her face when Sam kisses her for the first time. Just the press of his lips, unobtrusive and sweet.

She laughs against his mouth, pulls away and laughs out loud.

“I’m sorry,” shaking her head she reaches for his hand. “You just make me really happy Sam, that’s all. I haven’t felt like it was ok to be happy for a long time.”

“I know what you mean.” He leans in to kiss her again and this time he laughs too.

--

It’s late, they’d been to a movie and had a few drinks and end up making out on her front porch like teenagers. Sam unceremoniously dry humps her, the two of them fully clothed as he grinds the bulge in his pants between her legs.

“Take me inside.” She pants, his mouth sealing over hers before she can even finish.

“You sure you want me to stay?” He double checks, big, warm thumbs rubbing over both her cheeks.

“I’m sure.”

They make it as far as the living room couch.

Sam paws at her jeans, yanking her panties off right along with them. She’s still standing when he drops to his knees and buries his head between her legs.  

She makes these little sounds, moaning his name with a fist full of his hair as he tongues her clit.

“Sam,” she tugs at his hair, bringing him back up to kiss her.

She’s breathless and the sound of his name coming from her mouth is something he’s imagined for a while. He slides his tongue into her mouth, swallowing whimpers as she tastes herself on his mouth.

Sitting him on the couch, she takes a condom and rolls it on his swollen erection before crawling into his lap. Sam just watches, making little grunts of approval when she reaches for his cock, wrapping her hand around the shaft as she presses the throbbing head of his cock against her hot, wet little pussy. She screws her eyes shut, soft hands grasping at his shoulders as she sinks down on him so slowly, inch by inch until her resolve falters and she sinks down, taking him all the way into her belly.

Her whole body moves up and down as she fucks herself on his cock, kissing him desperately.

“Oh God, Sam,” she moans as he pulls at her hips, holding her place. Sam can feel her stretched wide open, the most delicate part of her shivering on his cock. All he has to do is look down to get an eye full of her slick cunt stuffed full. They both start to move, Sam fucking up into her with the soft slap of their bodies coming together.

Between kisses, she says his name again and again, like a mantra while her curvy little hips work back and forth on his dick. Sam fucks her faster, watching her tits bounce, nipples grazing his chest as her pussy takes every inch.

Without a second of hesitation, he lifts her off his cock, ignoring her protest as he spreads her open underneath him and eases his cock back inside. His rhythm grows faster, skin smacking skin with every stroke. He doesn’t say a word that first time, just listens to his own grunts, her pants and the pornographic sounds of sex that seem obscenely loud. It takes everything in him to stay on task, every ounce of self-control not to come like a kid on prom night before she’s satisfied.

She comes around him, shaking like a one-woman earthquake under the weight of his body. Sam follows right behind her, coming with his face pressed into her neck, making embarrassing desperate sounds.

Sam holds her, soft nude thighs laying over his hips. He whispers things he knows he shouldn’t say, he tells her that he hasn’t wanted anyone as much as he wants her.

He almost tells her about Jess.

When he wakes up the next morning they’re still on the couch. The absurdly thin quilt he pulled off the armchair is barely covering her ass but her sleep-warm body is pressed into his side, calm in the lull of sleep.

Sam thinks he could be happy here in this house with her.

The time comes, as it always does, for he and Dean to move on. Sam is standing on her porch with a backpack slung over his shoulder, trying to find the right words for goodbye when she takes his hand between hers and says the magic word.

“Stay.”

--

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[trash-and-recyle-fics]

Feisty 3

Warnings: my usual grammar punctuation spelling mistakes and swearing. Threats? Minor character death

Summary: so uh I can’t write good summary’s

Enjoy?

——————————————————————

Homework sucked a big one. Sam day beside you at a table that was off to the side in the library. He was trying to explain math problems and how to solve them. You were taking some online classes to get you GED.

“All you gotta do is take X and multiply it by the value of Y and you have your answer.”

“WHY IS THERE LETTERS IN MATH?! AND WHAT THE HELL IS THE VALUE OF Y!?” You shouted.

“Hey hey what’s with the yelling?” Dean came down the stairs clutching a couple bags of McDonald’s. Running up you grabbed a bag and sat at the map table. Digging into a Big Mac, Sam’s face twisted like he saw you eating dirt.

“Really Dean? We were trying to do homework.” This time it was Deans face who twisted.

“She needs to eat. Oh and here is your rabbit food.” He slid Sam a salad that truly did look like rabbit food.

“JACK!! CAS!!” Dean yelled through the bunker and both seemed to come out from within the walls. He tossed Jack a burger and everyone sat down.

“Hey I need the car.” Dean shook his head.

“Last time you took the car you stole her. So he’ll no.” You looked and Sam and gave him puppy eyes.

“Dean maybe-“

“Nope. Not happening. Why do you even need it?” He shoved the rest of his fries in his mouth. Hopefully he would aspirate the food.

“I wanna go to the mall I need clothes and social interaction with people my age.” He scoffed.

“You got us.”

“Oh damn your right I love spending time with men twice my age.” You brough your hand under your chin and batted your eyelashes at Dean.

“Sammy thinks I’m reasponsible enough to go. Please Deannnnn I’ll be careful.” You could sense his giving in. Just like a roof caving in. You got up and went over to him. Wrapping your arms around his neck you layed your head on his shoulder.

“Pleaseeee Dean??”

“Fine but you take Jack.” Jack looked up from the burger in his hands with a bit of ketchup on his face. You could feel your cheeks warm a bit.

“Okay. I’m going to go change!” As you are about to run down the hallway he turns in his chair.

“First finish your food! Sam will kill me if I let you go without eating first.” Sam opend and closed his mouth and shook his head. He always did this when he had something to say but couldn’t form the words. So you sat and scarfed down the rest of your food.

In your room you pulled on a over sized sweater. Turning a bit you were happy it looked with the jean shorts you had on. Jack had once mentioned that he liked your hair down. So you pulled it out of your pony tail and shook it out. Putting on little makeup to enhance your facial features you run down the hall to the map room. You went up to dean and held out your hand. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the keys.

“Make sure you look were you are going. Park away from everyone els. Don’t go over 20 miles an hour!” You hugged him quickly and went to Sam.

“Sammy can I have some money??” He rolled his eyes.

“Fine but when you be home at 7:30! You still need to finish your homework.” You nodded with a bit of attitude on the side and hugged him.

“Let’s go Jack.” You were waiting by the stairs and he stood. You were practically bouncing from exitment.

TIME SKIP ( at the mall.)

You took Jack to all your favorite stores. When you tried on a tight fighting dress he stuttered over his words. When he tried on a button down shirt that made his eyes look beautiful and even more vibrant than normally you made him get it. Now at the food court you were telling him about this movie you saw awhile ago with Cas.

“Then this guy comes out of no where and blows up the bridge holding the train!” You looked up from your ice cream only to see his eyes solely trained on you. His cone forgotten.

“I-I like it when you talk about that stuff.” His eyes darted down a little on your face and then back up to your eyes.

“You like when I talk about movies?” Your time was teasing but you tried to flirt a bit.

“No i - uh I like when you talk about stuff that makes you happy...” your heart warmed but before you could answer the green eyed devil calls.

“Y/N. We need you to come home now there is a emergency.”

“What do you mean emergency?”

“Get home now.” You told Jack what was happening and he stood practically pulling you towards the exit of the mall.

You started Baby with shaky hands. Your heart slamming against your rib cage. Trying to escape your chest.

When you got back to the bunker the everyone was at the map table. No one talking just eyes pointed to the ground.

“What happened? Is everyone ok?” Sam stood and gave you a hug.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” You pushed his gigantic frame away.

“Sammy what happened?” Tear started to well up in your eyes. You stepped forward so you were in Dean line of sight. With both hands on the chair in front of you asked him.

“What’s happening Dean?” Cas stood and walked over to you, he put on hand on your shoulder but you shrugged it off.

“Y/N.. your dad he uh he died.” His eyes held much more than Sam’s or Cas. It wa smile he was feeling the pain for you. You let out the breath you had been holding. Picking up the chair you launched it across the room. You swiped books and papers of the table and punched a cement support beam. You felt another hand on your arm just before you were about to punch it again. You tried to pull away but Jack voice rang through the bunker.

“Y/N. It’s ok.” You dropped your hands and he pulled you into his chest. You sobbed and then everything went black.

When you woke up you realized that Jack must have knocked you out. You were now in your room.

“Hey.” Dean sat in a chair beside your bed.

“You should see the beam you punched knocked it out. Just like rocky.” You knew he was trying to make you laugh but no joy filled you.

“Is it true?”

“Yeah he’s gone Y/N. I’m sorry.” You shook your head.

“The asshole deserved it. If he didn’t die soon then I might have cut his fingers off and thrown them at him like a monkey throwing shit. He deserved what he got. The bastard.”

“Don’t day that-“

“Don’t day what? The truth. You have no idea what he did to me.. to people that knew me.. innocent people.” The room got quite. Even more quite than when you first woke up.

“Have you ever wanted to be normal Dean?” Without hesitating he answered.

“Hell yes. But people would die daily from monsters and I think I would go crazy having a normal life.”

“You already are crazy.”

“I know.” He said it with a small smile. After a couple minutes ofnyou looking at the ceiling and Dean looking at the floor you spoke again.

“Can we have a thanksgiving dinner. You could invite some close friends and we could have whatever food we wanted.”

“It’s not even close to thanksgiving.”

“So what? We could call it something els. Make up our own holiday. Hell I think you and Sam deserve it. You guys have up normal for people you didn’t even know.”

“I guess I could ask Josh and her girls if they would want to come. Donna might want to. We could have pie..”

“Go call them tell them it’s a week from today.” As you start to sit up dean holds out his hand.

“You should sleep more.”

“I have slept enough. Go tell everyone I will be out in 15.”

When you walked into the kitchen it was just Jack in there stuffing his face with cereal.

“Hey Jack um thanks you know for everything.” You sat down on the bench seat with your back against the table. You gave him a quick hug then a kiss on the cheek. As you started to get up he grabbed your hand.

“I like you!” He blurted out. “Sam said I should tell you.”

“Really?” He nodded. You reached up and put your hands on the sides of his head. You pressed your lips to his and after a couple seconds you pulled away. Again you tried to stand but he had ahold of your waist.

“Y/N..” he pulled you closer to him and he kissed you. It wasn’t perfect by any means but sparks flew.

“WHAT THE HELL!!” “NO-NOPE NO MORE.”

You and Jack sprang apart trying to explain. Cas and Dean stood in the doorway.

“I think they like each other Dean.” Cas said while looking at you both. Your face was red and so was Jacks. Sam walked in and before you could say anything Dean yelled again.

“NOPE NOT HAPPENING.” He swiped his hand through the air like he was cutting it in half. Sam and Cas were left looking at you and Jack. An eternal stand off.

“So uh I was think about the holiday and maybe we could call it Eves eves?”

Part 4??

I know I rushed the kiss and there is more spelling mistakes in this one but I just wanted to get it up.

Next part will be better

Tags

@christinababiee

[waywardnewcomer]

Wasted Opportunities

A/N: This is my first actual character fic so I hope you enjoy, also thank you for all the love on Reunited. You don’t understand how happy it makes me and how much it makes my heart swell. This is a little AU fic for yesterday’s episode.

Summary: Dean finds their dead sister in apocalypse world.

Warnings: A bit of swearing, angst, fluff, character death, Spoilers for 13x18 - like some of it actually comes from the script 

Pairings: Dean x Sister!Reader, Sam x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 1.6K

Masterlist

Dean shook his head after they’d arrived through the rift. He looked over at Ketch and chuckled as he looked around in awe.

“Well, here we are.” He spoke as the thunder rumbled in the distance.

“You do know where we are, don’t you? We only have 24 hours before,”

“Yeah, yeah. Give me a minute. We just got spin-cycled through space and time, okay? And yes, this is different than my last drop by. I thought you wanted to save yourself?” Dean sighed angrily, trying to get his bearings.

“I thought I could help.” Ketch spoke.

“What?” Dean asked gritting his teeth.

“To find the boy.” He spoke. “And your mother. She’s in danger, I owe her that.” He added like an afterthought.

“You know if she sees you she’ll probably kill you, again.” Dean sighed, pursing his lips.

“Perhaps, but you don’t know what’s out there. Would back up be so bad?”

“If you’re the back up then yes.” Dean snapped.

They were interrupted with a loud bang and a flutter of wings.

“Get down.” Dean grumbled, shoving Ketch behind a tree and crouching next to him.

They sat listening to the angels talk, ripping off their hoods one by one and the angel’s killing them. When they took off the last hood Dean immediately stood up, gun cocked, and breath hitched.

“Dean get down.” Ketch whisper-yelled, pulling on his arms.

“No way. That’s my sister.” Dean mumbled in awe, coming out of his hiding place and waiting for the perfect shot.

You looked up at the angel before you and closed your eyes ready for the blinding light, and your inevitable death.

“Wait.” An angel behind him said, holding his arm. “She knows where they are, her mother and the Nephilim. She’ll be useful.”

“Very well.” He muttered. “Take her to be tortured.”

“You’re not taking her anywhere.” Deans rough voice shouted as he shot the angels holding you.

You looked behind you at the older man and ran to safety behind him.

“And who are you?” The angel asked moving closer.

“Her brother, jackass.” He grumbled shooting him, with Ketch shooting the other angels.

“You’re not my brother?” You asked the strange man confused after you let out a sigh of relief. “Who are you?” You wrestled the man, taking his gun and holding it up to his face.

“Y/N, I promise I’m your brother. Well I was, in another world. You died.” He mumbled sadly, with his hands in the air.

“My Mom and Dad didn’t have any other kids. Just me.” You narrowed your eyes and cocked the gun.

“Your mother is Mary Winchester; your father is John Winchester. Your Mom is good friends with Bobby Singer and he is leading the resistance. Your Mom came back from another world a few weeks ago with a Nephilim, Jack.” Ketch spoke trying to get you to lower the gun.

“I’m Dean Winchester. I come from a different universe, one where there isn’t a freaking apocalypse because me and Sammy are there to stop it. You used to be too.” Dean spoke gritting his teeth, it hurt so much to look at his sister and her not recognise him whatsoever.

“Why should I believe you?” You adjusted your grip on the gun and raised your eyebrows.

“Well other than me just saving your life, the rift is right there.” Dean pointed over to the glowing orange rift, making your eyes go as wide as saucers.

You lowered the gun slowly and looking to the mans piercing green eyes. You moved closer to him and traced his jawline with your finger. Hmmm… he kinda looked like you, he had your Dad’s jawline at least.

“Okay fine. What do you mean I used to be there?” You asked suspiciously, handing him back his gun.

“You, erm.” He spoke, looking down and rubbing the back of his neck. “You died Y/N. You died in my arms, a vampire drank you dry during a hunt. It was my fault you shouted at me to come help but I went to help Sammy instead.”

“Sammy you take the back, I’ll take the front with Y/N.” Dean spoke looking at his siblings for confirmation.

Once they had nodded their heads and gotten into position, Dean counted to 3 and kicked the front door down. You followed behind him, machete in your hand and cautiously looking around.

“Look out!” You shouted at Dean as a vamp came swinging from above him.

You took out all the surrounding vampires as it turned into a full out war. Sam and Dean were fighting with alpha vampire when you doubled over to catch your breath.

“A Winchester.” The vampire behind you snarled.

You kicked behind you to send the vampire flying backwards before turning around to land in a few good punches until the vamp held you up by your throat.

“Sam! Dean! A little help here!” You choked out looking over at Dean helping Sam kill the alpha.

“A little busy Y/N.” Dean shouted back.

You managed to flip it back around and wrestle with the vampire once more until you felt teeth sinking into your back. You screamed in agony, the blood draining out of your body. The vampire in front of you sunk their teeth into your neck, draining more of your blood making your legs crumble beneath you.

“Y/N!” You heard Sam scream once they’d killed the alpha.

“Oh shit.” Dean grunted angrily, he killed the last two vampires with one swipe of his machete and slid down beside your lifeless body.

“Oh god.” Sam choked back the tears.

“It’s okay. I’ll b- be with Mo-om.” You choked out blood, the tears dripping down your cheeks.

“I’m so sorry Y/N.” Dean whispered, kissing your forehead. He sat beside your body, allowing the tears to weep out of his eyes as he sat and held you as you took your last breath. His body racked with sobs as he held his little sister close. He swiped your eyelids closed with his hands and whispered; “It’s all my fault.”

“Oh.” You muttered looking down. “Well I guess I forgive you?”

“I don’t want you to.” Dean muttered. “It was my fault, I need to live with that.”

You looked over at your brother sadly. You may not have known him for longer than an hour, but you hated to see him hurt. Maybe your other universe self and you had some of the same thoughts and feelings.

You showed Dean and Ketch one of the bases for the angels and helped them take it down, showing them the place your Mom had been last. You had been separated from them for a while, due to you being on a mission to bring down the angel base in the North East corner. Bobby had planned to meet you in two days’ time in your secret spot in the North West. You walked Dean back to his rift answering all his questions about your Mom and Jack.

“Y/N I want you to come back with me.” Dean sighed, looking at how thin the rift had become.

“I can’t I’m meeting Bobby in two days.” You explained.

“Y/N, I want to keep you safe this time. I don’t want to be responsible for your death again.” Dean walked over to you, holding both of your arms.

“Dean. This is my world, this is my fault. You’re the saviour in your world, right? I’m the one here and I can’t leave them alone.” You smiled giving your brother a quick hug. “I promise, once the resistance beats Michael, I’ll come back with you, wherever you want. But for now, I need to stay here.”

“I can’t just leave you here.” Dean grunted angrily.

“I’ll stay.” Ketch spoke up.

“What?”

“I’ll stay, protect her until she can get to Bobby, and help fight until you can get back to this world with your brother and your angel.” Ketch spoke sincerely.

“I don’t trust you.” Dean narrowed his eyes.

“If he tries anything, I’ll shoot him.” You stated.

Dean looked into your eyes knowing you would protect yourself at all costs. He sighed deeply and gave you a quick kiss on the forehead, comforting him but making you feel a bit weird and loved? It was a new feeling for you. Dean looked at you one last time before he had to go through the rift to escape the incoming angels.

“Dean? Where’s Mom? Where’s Jack?” Sam asked as soon as his brother returned through the rift.

“Dean are you okay?” Cas asked, noticing his hunched exterior and the tears lacing his eyes.

“I saw Y/N.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked confused.

“Y/N’s alive in apocalypse world.” Dean spoke looking at his brother.

“Fuck!” Sam shouted flinging the paper off the library table in rage.

“What did I miss?” Dean asked looking between his brother and the angel.

“Gabriel left.” Cas explained.

“What do you mean he left?” Dean asked angrily.

“We asked him to help and he said no.” Sam gritted his teeth.

“He doesn’t get to say no! We still have his grace, though, right?” Dean asked as Sam and Cas looked at each other awkwardly. “Sam?”

“We uh – we used his grace to heal him.” Sam muttered angry at himself.

“So it – it’s gone? It’s all gone.” Deans voice rose higher with anger. “So if it’s gone then that means that we can’t open that door again. If we can't open the door, then I should've never come back! Son of a bitch!” Dean slammed his hand down on the table and swiped the rest of the books off the table. Cas and Sam looked at him, hating the fact he was hurting, and it was their fault.

“Every time! Every time we get close, it always falls apart. Every fucking time.”

Part Two 

Forever Tags (tagging people who have asked and people who I think would enjoy this fic, let me know if you want adding or removing) @creativedogs  @a-magey  @natashacamillaus  @not-jk-rowling  @captainsherlockwinchester110283  @sleepylunarwolf @claitynroberts @bellero @winchesters-favorite-girl

[wormstacheangel]

Day 21: Fear

Word Count:1862 

Summary: Dean brings Cas back from the Empty. Great now he has anxiety. (light hurt/comfort)

Catch up on all my suptober days Here!

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When Dean finally rescued Cas from the empty he expected a happy reunion. He expected a strong hug like the first time he had escaped. He expected a long awaited kiss and repeated confessions that weren’t said with sorrow or heartache. He expected to find the same Cas that was taken from him but that’s not what they found.

Cas was left awake, alone, and in complete darkness for months on end. 

So when Dean went into the empty, ready to wake up the love of his life, he found Cas curled in on himself. Staring blankly out into the void of nothingness. He was whispering something so softly and quickly that Dean couldn’t pick up on the actual words but it sounded familiar. Almost like he was humming a song.

Dean tried to get him to stand up on his own but that idea was quickly trashed as he realized Cas hasn’t even been looking at him but past him. Somewhere far into the distance or locked in his mind. He still wasn’t sure but he picked up the little angel with whatever desperate strength he did have and dragged him back to the portal.

Back home.

The bright light seemed to startle him and he started to shove Dean away. Dean then took off his jacket and placed it over Cas’s head to calm him as he slowly walked through the portal and into the bunker’s library where Jack, Rowena, Eileen, and Sam were waiting for them. 

Soon they realized that Cas’s welcome back party will be pushed back as Cas clinged to Dean. Still hidden under the jacket. In the darkness. 

Cas didn’t cry. He didn’t really change his expression much as he only laid in Dean’s bed with the lights off. Well all but one lamp on the desk where Cas likes to stare at. He squinted at it at first but he must have gotten used to it. Making a dissatisfied noise whenever Dean makes a move to turn it off. 

He still did that rapid talking or singing whenever they were alone, when it was just a little bit too quiet. It made Dean wonder if Cas knew he was out of the Empty. Especially during those times when he would stare right past him, unblinking with cold eyes. 

It was only the second week in when Dean broke down. He didn’t mean to. He was trying so damn hard to keep it together especially in front of Cas. But one night he just lost it. Maybe it was lack of booze in his system that didn’t knock him out right away or maybe it was how Sam came up to him about a case. It pissed him off more than it should have. The fact that Sam even believed for a second that he would leave this bunker while Cas was like...well the way he was, just gave him enough of an excuse to raise his voice at someone. Eileen had to step in and tell him too cool off. 

So Dean went to his room. He changed into his pajamas and  climbed into bed besides Cas. He wrapped his arms around the angel and spooned him from the back as he opened his mouth to wish him a goodnight. Every night he has been saying Goodnight, Cas. I love you. but something in him just broke.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry it took me so long to go get you. Please come back, Cas. Please. We missed- I...I missed you. I missed you so much, Cas." No response. Dean lets out a shaky breath but hides his face in Cas's back. "I love you. Come back to me soon, okay?"

The only response Dean got was a squeeze of the hand and that was enough hope for the future. Enough to make Dean let out the tears that were burning his eyes.

As the days went on Cas really didn’t change. Literally and figuratively. He was still an angel so there was no need for him to shower or brush his teeth but Dean swore that Cas’s facial hair was growing. 

They did learn a couple of things as the days went on. 

One, peace and quiet was not what they strive for. It seemed to only bring Cas anxiety and his humming or singing became much more louder and desperate. They fixed that problem with a Bluetooth speaker that was constantly playing music in the background, a playlist Jack made mixed in with a playlist Jack helped Dean make. It made the humming stop and Cas started to roll over in bed. He even sat back against the headboard with his eyes closed a few times.

A month after Cas got back Dean's phone died in the middle of the night and the silence must have gotten to him. He covered his ears while he started muttering to himself again. Dean woke up and pulled Cas to his chest as he started to softly sing to him in his still half asleep phase. He didn’t know why that was his first instinct but he went along with it cause it started to calm Cas down. Then for the first time Cas held him back. Tucking his head right under Dean's jaw and relaxing.

Dean tried not to stiffen at the touch or sob, if he was being honest, because he was busy singing. 

Two, always have a light source on. The lamp was the first one they had. Cas always wanted it on but it bothered Dean all the time when he wanted to sleep. So they bought a cool starlight projector, Sam’s idea, that kept the light on the cement ceiling and not on Dean’s face. Cas seemed to enjoy it as he laid on his back watching it all night, letting Dean curl up on his side as he slept. 

Three, never leave Cas alone. Obviously. Nobody wanted to leave Cas alone for more than a minute if they could help it. So they made plans to keep him company at all hours of the day. Of course, they weren’t crowding him. They all came in one by one, except for Dean who would say, “This is my room I get to come and go as I damn well please.”

Sam liked to sit by Cas's side and talk nerd like they usually would while he cleaned his guns or did research to help another hunter. He would even pause during the one way conversation as if to give Cas some time to answer or try to imagine what Cas would say in that situation. Sam was always calm while he tried to keep it as normal as possible while Cas just stared at him, sometimes his eyebrows knitted together and Dean had to excuse himself as he felt his chest tighten up.

Eileen sat by his side and watched shows she liked while she talked to Cas instead of sign so that he could hear her voice. But even then she didn’t talk much but she did pet his hair as she sat on the chair by the bed. Both quietly watching the show from Sam’s laptop. 

Jack came in the most next to Dean and liked reading to him or talking about how his skills as the new God have improved.

"Dad, I hope you'll be proud of me." Jack once whispered to Cas who was having a bad day, checking out more than usual as he stared off into the distance. Eyes wide and almost screaming. 

It was almost the end of the second month when another big Cas mile-stone happened. Jack was laying in bed with Cas while Dean was at his desk cleaning his guns obsessively again. Jack read him a book he bought during his recent trip to the bookstore with Eileen, it was a Star Wars story. 

Jack was getting into the book as he read slower but louder during a big fight scene. He got so excited that he even jumped up and looked back at Cas, "Did you hear that, Dad? He won!"

Cas smiled back at him. An actual smile and Dean almost dropped the piece of gun in his hand while Jack froze, his shoulders relaxing while he scrunched up his lips as if trying to hold back his cry.

Instead he quietly  composed himself as he asked, "You want me to read the rest?"

Cas only blinked at him, keeping the small smile, so he took it as a yes. Jack sat besides him again with a bigger smile plastered on his face as he rested his head on Cas's shoulder to continue reading. Dean didn’t miss when Cas tilted his head down to rest his cheek on Jack’s hair. 

He had to excuse himself again.

After that day Cas slowly started to open up a little more. 

Once Dean woke up with Cas gone and he was already in full panic, his shoes on the wrong feet and jacket sloppy put on as he called out for Sam. Then he found Cas in the kitchen trying to make coffee. He turned towards Dean and gave him the smallest of smiles but it filled Dean with such relief that he just dragged himself to Cas’s space. Opening his arms up to bring Cas into him and he fell against Dean without a second thought. 

Then Cas kept walking around the bunker. The library, Dean’s room, the Dean-cave, and the kitchen were his favorite places to just sit in. He always had Dean’s headphones on, softly playing music, just in case it went quiet and it took awhile for him to be able to walk around without those. 

It was the fourth month when Cas wished Dean a goodnight first and then added,  “I love you, Dean.”

Dean fought the lump in his throat but Cas instantly pulled him. Letting Dean rest his head on his chest while Cas wrapped his arms around him. He had so much he wanted to say to Cas just to hear his voice again, anything to hear his voice again, but instead he kissed Cas’s chest.

“I love you, too.”

Days came and went. Sometimes it seemed like Cas was getting better as he talked a little bit more but then those days will come when he would just stare off into the stars on their ceiling. Not moving an inch or bothering to fake breath like he liked. Those days the music was a little louder and Cas held on to Dean a little tighter.

“I don’t want to go back. Please,” Cas pleaded as he stared wide eyed at the darkness in the corner of their room. As if he was having a nightmare with his eyes wide open.  “Please don’t make me…I-I don’t want to be in the dark again.”

“Shh, it’s okay. It’s okay, Cas. I got you. Nobody’s taking you away from me ever again.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

That’s how Cas became human. Then the real nightmares started but at least one fear was lifted off his shoulders. The Empty can never take him again.