#damn anything can be incrusted in it

[patrothestupid]

abel reading

based

[an1meslvt]

|christmas with you|

tag: letitia x blackfemreader

warnings: suggestive themes, mostly fluff (gets really sappy.)

summary: christmas with letitia! 🎄🎅🤶

“babe! i finished the cookies!” you giggled as letitia came running down the stairs with a big goofy smile. “i’ve waited a whole year for these cookies!” she said as she bit into one. “damn tish, is it good?” you laughed, causing her to smirk. “not as good as your cookie tho.” she shrugged, leaving your mouth agape with shock.

“letitia michelle wright!” you scolded, hitting her with your oven mitt. “damn baby, mans just joking.” she said in her thick british accent. you shook your head playfully. “come on let’s go open presents.” you said, pulling her out of the kitchen.

you both sat crisscrossed by the tree, presenting the presents to each other. “here, baby! i hope you like it!” you said, handing tish her gift. “what is it?” she said, eying you in a skeptical but playful manner.

“tish just open it!” she giggled before tearing away the wrapping paper. you bit your lip anxiously as she let out a loud gasp. “y/n, no you didn’t!” “yes i did.” you said laughing a bit. you had gifted her a silver cuban link chain, incrusted with vvs diamonds, her nickname ‘TISH’ in all caps as a pendant.

“oh my- fuck! when did you- how did you- im sorry, i can’t process this right now.” she held the chain in her hands, in complete shock. “are you tryna get fucked tonight or what?” “tish!” you said, playfully slapping her arm, causing her to laugh.

“im being serious! this is the best gift ever! thank you so much, love.” she cooed as she gave you a sweet kiss. you muttered a “you’re welcome.” before she spoke again. “now it’s time for your gift!” she said, pulling a small box from her pocket.

“y/n, we’ve been together for about 4 years now, and you’ve always been there for me. you never once judged me for anything and you always stayed by my side even in my darkest moments. we’ve accomplished so much together, and i can’t wait to spend many more christmases with you. so with that being said…will you marry me?” she opened the box revealing a beautiful 24 karat silver ring, with a heart shaped diamond.

you looked at her with tears in your eyes, your hand covering your mouth. “tish…are you for real?” “yes, baby. i wanna spend the rest of my life with you.” you let out a choked sob as you scrambled to hug her.

“yes! yes i’ll marry you! i wanna be your wife!” you cried, making her hug you tightly. “you’re gonna be my wife! fuck yes!” she yelled happily. “does this mean, we can finally buy that big house together?” you asked, making her nod. “that brings me to my next gift for you.”

you sat back down on the floor, waiting to see what the gift was. watched closely as she pulled out some folded up papers. handing them to you. you grabbed the papers softly, unfolding them so you could have a look. you read over the black print before a small gasp left your lips.

“letitia. this is…the deed to the house i wanted.” you said looking up at her. “yes it is! bought it straight cash 2 days ago.” she smiled. “nowwww all we need to do is call our lawyers so you can sign it.” she smiled.

“tishhh.” you whined, going over to hug her again. “thank you so much baby! you just gave me the best christmas ever!” you squealed, kissing all over her face. she smirked, causing you to put a pause on your kissing. “i know how to make your christmas even better.” there was a hint of mischief in her voice.

you giggled as she squeezed your your hips. “oh really? how?” you asked innocently, causing her to smirk. her hands traveled down to your ass, her grip firm. “let me show you.”

𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷༄𖧷

©️an1meslvt

author: i hope y’all like this! jus a lil sum sum for the holidays! if you got more christmas ideas, don’t hesitate to let me know! love you bookies! 💕🫶🏾

[popculturebuffet]

Legend of the Three Caballeros: Labyrinth and Repeat Review (Commissioned by WeirdKev27)

Saludos Amigos! We’re back on the Ride of the Three Cablleros as I intend to knock this wonderful series out at a steady cliip, and since I THOUGHT the premire was a two parter, it still ends on a cliffhanger but it’s too early to tell if this is just normal for this series like say Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, where it’s really more one continuous story, or just the end of the pilot. For now with all the exposition out of the way from part 1, we can jump right into the thick of things where we picked off.  PREVIOUSLY ON LEGEND OF THE THREE CABLLEROS: Donald had an enormously shitty birthday, loosing his job, his house and his nightmarish harpy.. er his girlfriend, all in one day. Things went up a bit though when he inhereted a Cabana belonging to his ancestor Clinton Coot and met two new pals: Ladies Man Jose Caricoca and loveable weirdo like myself Pancito Romero A Lot of Other Names Gonzales. The three soon had a yard sale with the various treasures inside the cabana and got an offer for a million dollars for the cabana and all inside from local waiter’s nightmare Baron Von Sheldgoose, whose deal includes a jewel incrusted golden atlas. Upon finding it our boys were attacked by a human goddess who popped out of the book and that’s where we pick up. 

Good. Let’s begin. So Xandra, said goddess, is holding our heroes at arrow point with their attempts to defuse the situation falling flat and their attempt to understandably flee by claming to be the cabs failing pretty much immidatley. We do get some good gags including Jose accidently telling Xandra she smells like feta cheese in greek. But lucky for our boys before Xandra can do a murder on them Donald accidently shuts the book.. and finds out she disappears when he does that. Cue our loveable idiots opening and closing the book for a while, easily one of the best bits of the episode. I will say while the pilot was pretty good comedy wise this episode solidfies how funy the series is. The series is at times a barrage of wonderful jokes and set pieces and it is awesome to behold.  Also a breif thing before we get back to the plot... Xandra is indeed human, or at least looks like one. Normally i’m against this as honestly Ducks just mesh better with Dogfaces, other birds and other anthromorphic animals. It just works better and is more consitent to have a world that’s simply anthro animals and non-anthro animals. But.. it works for me here since so the human characters.. are all gods. While i’d of PREFFERED them to still be non humans, like Ducktales does, it works since she’s not really a human but a god and thus it comes off more as her being something inherently diffrent and otherworldly, but something that’s not so distracting it pulls focus away from the rest of the cast, just otherworldly to our heroes.

So while our boy screw with the goddess who you know, tried to murder them for flimsy reasons without stopping to ask why three strangers look exactly like her friends, we get to know the triplets better. I also get a better bead on what voices Jessica is using. May is using Jessica’s Lynn voice, just a touch higher since May isn’t a preteen, while April, the one in yellow, uses the voice she’d later use for candace. Junes is a BIT like Lucy, but with obviously way more energy and emotion. But it’s clear the three are smart confident and willing to run a scheme, and easily get a thousand bucks out of sheldgoose for the spooky purple ring he saw last episode in a really chortleriffic bit where May serves as an auctioneer while her sisters up the price by bidding thus tricking Sheldgoose into paying. They also get past him having a claim on it as he dosen’t have a receipt or anything else other than a verbal contract with Donald, one that wasn’t even complete since the boys hadn’t brought out the atlas, so they were within their rights to fleece him for the ring.. even if him getting it at all is going to backfire, they had no way of knowing that so it’s whatever.  Back in the house the boys have apparently done the  book thing on Xandra about a hundred times, and Xandra FINALLY grabs the book. At least our boys are bonding. But while threatening them again , she finds out they don’t know what happened.. and recongiing clinton int he painting realizess time has passed, these boys are her boys decendants, and perhaps some explination is in order since she’s lost in a strange world. 

So after unveling a bookmark that allows her to project out of the book without being trapped, Xandra gives us our backstory: long ago, in a distant land I Aku master of darkness unleashed an unspeakable evil... wait sorry wrong narration. Long ago Xandra was guardian of the Atlas, which is explained to be the key to various magical hot spots around the world where various myths come from. Things were fine.. until the evil Lord Felldrake decided to screw it all up, binding Xandra to the book and using it to cause chaos and try and take over the world. All was lost till the Cabs stopped him, freed Xandra best they could, and then journed the world with them till she tragically was shut inside the book and seemingly lost. For whatever reason Clinton never opened the book, we’ll presumibly find out later, and well.. here she is.  Xandra is voiced by, unsuprisingly given this project’s all-star cast, voice acting vetran and modern legend of the buisness Grey DeLisle, also credited as Grey Griffith for a time. And like tress she has a rather massive and awesome resume, which naturally i’ll be going into since usually I go into shows mid way and don’t get to do this: Grey’s notable rolls include Daphne Blake ever since What’s New, Scooby Doo?, Lor from Weekenders, still not on plus and I will not let that fact go till I get a valid reason why not, Crazy Cat Lady and Lizzie Divine, Mandy, Doctor Ghastly, Kimiko Tohomiko, Sam Manson, Frankie Foster, Azula, Riley Daring, Freida Suarez, Black Canary (Brave and the Bold), Fire, Dr. Holiday, Aya, Master Nadia, Magpie, Moon Butterfly, Jackie Lynn Thomas, Lola Loud, Lana Loud, Lily Loud, and Martin Prince following Russi Taylors tragic passing, just to give you an idea of how long, varied and wonderful her career and range is. And to give a certain person paying for this review an idea of some of the shows i’m familiar with. Moving on.  Despite learning of their family legacy of heroics, our heroes are planning to still sell the book given Donald and Jose are poor, and Panchito’s giving in to peer pressure. Seriously Camil is already the MVP of the series, easily the best part of it and it’s a shame he wasn’t brought back for Ducktales, especially since by season 2 frank was aware of legend and Jamie had been on the show before. But Xandra offers them a life of adventure and heroisim.. and when that fails points out theirs treasure and the boys agree to hear her out.  So after showing some off Xandra takes them to a Labyrinth to retreive three mystic amulets, and goads Donald into going in by challenging his Ego after he tries to refuse to go. Panchito is naturally fully on board with a dangerous adventure and Jose is talked into it after Xandra pulls an explination why she can’t go out of her firmly toned ass that theirs a mystic barrier which he buys. So while Xandra conjurs a chair and a coconut drink to relax and wait to see if they die or not, our boys head in.  They find a massive, beautiful labyrnith and a large house containing a minotaur. Sadly i’ts not Ferdinand aka the Minotaur who worked as Wonder Woman’s chef, cooking up damn good vegetarian goodies for her at the Thymsicarian Embasy. All of this is real things that happened and all are things that should be in the next fucking movie. Seriously as much of a mess as Wonder Woman 1984 is, i’d buy a ticket in a heartbeat caution to teh wind if it was announced he was being adapted for it. He’s also very smart, kind and loyal if you were wondering. Get yourself a man like feridnand if your into men. 

Anyways Jose once again tries to speak a languge, and thus we get about a minute of Eric Bauza saying the word moo... sometimes... most times really.. I REALLY, REALLY love my job. But with the bull pissed off and going super sayian god super sayian, there’s only one thing left for our heroes to do...

So they do and we get a great gag where Donald, when deciding wether to split up as to lower the possiblity of him getting hit, has TWO shoulder devils, because inside every man is a battle between good and evil that evil usually wins while dancing and singing a jaunty toon over good’s grave. 

But it naturally backfires and the two devils tell him he’s on his own. So we get a fun chase sequence with the three before Donald finally decides fuck it we can fight back. Noticing Panchito’s talent with a rope, he has him rope and ride the Minotaur which he does, then uses Jose’s hankerchief to lure the minotaur and beat him. It’s a gorgeous, fun action sequence that shows off the series is as cool as it is fricking hilaroius.  So our heroes find the amulets, a blue one for donald, a red for panchito and green for jose, and put em on, proudly telling Xandra. It’s then revealed the Minotaur.. is an old friend of hers and this was just a test to see if they could work together and you know.. not die. They can, and she’s proud and plesantly suprised by how good they are.  So our heroes return home, Xandra storring the atlas on her back, and all three suitably impressed. Their further impressed when they find a hidden lair with more treasure, and three sets of armor, their ancestors old armor which as it did in the teaser at the start of the series, looks REALLY fucking cool and comes from various civlizations. Just.. lovely to look at. Our heroes pose.. and the nieces find them, wonder what’s going on, and mention Sheldgoose at the door, apparnelty not phased to meet a god or that their surrogate uncle has a hlemet.  Sheldgoose has come to offer the money.. and it’s REALLY tempiting. Donald has lost EVERYTHING remember, this money could help win Daisy back, get him a fancy house still in new quackmore.. even a third of a million is still enough to set someone as humble and easy to please as donald for life. But.. it’s here where this episode succeds where the premire fell. By this point we’ve SEEN Donald’s weaknsses: he’s greedy, short sighted and selfish. So it makes it THAT MUCH more impactful when he does the right thing, tearing up the check and refusing to sell out his legacy. Sure this could make his life better.. but it’s not worth his soul, his new friends or the world’s safety. He may not be able to get Daisy back or a new house.. but he’d NEVER be able to repalce his new friends, his legacy, or his wonderful new home.  Sheldgoose naturally throws a fit and vows vengance and what have you... and just as naturally gets dragged away by his ring. Like the boys he’s brought to a mystic secret chamber by a family heirloom.. but unlike the boys we get a wonderful sequence of him being slammed into things while Wayne Knight makes delightful noises.

But Sheldgoose finds thanks to the ring he was drawn to a styigan well leading to a talking staff... Felldrake surivived, if trapped in the staff.. and  he’s Baron’s ancestor, himself a sheldgoose who urges his decsendant to take the staff, accept his destiny and thus Sheldgoose revels in his new power as he and feldrake summon Feldrake’s loyal minon.  

So we end on Donald happy. His day was crappy to start.. but while he lost his house, his shrew and his job.. he’s found a new purpose saving the world, an ew life of adventure.. and forever friends in his two new amigos and goddess mentor. He’s finally happy. OR he is for a a second before Feldrake’s minon emerges from it’s sarcophagus and runs off with donald. TO BE CONTINUED. Not doing the jojo gag this time. 

 Before we go on one last cast member; Kevin Micheal Richardson is Felldrake, and he is unsuprisingly awesome and like Grey has a long and storied career.. you know the drill by now: He’s voiced  the Narrator for Clerks the Animated Series, Robert Hawkins (Static’s Dad), Dark Laser, Numbah 5′s dad who was a VERY poorly aged refrence to Bill Cosby, Mammoth, Trigon, Armagedddroid (Something I never realized holy shit good on him), Captain Gantu, The Joker, Pandabubba, Principal Lewis, Schnitzel, Tombstone, Omega Supreme, Cleavland Junior (They drove a dump truck full of money up to his house he’s not made of stone), Mal Duncan, Doctor Fate, Man Ape, Kilowogg, Sheriff Blubs, William Viceroy , Mr. Gus, Rhombulous, Shredder (TMNT 2012), Rosie Rosevelt, Coach Mitchell (Seriously watch Milo Murphy’s Law, we need a season 3), and Dot’s Zit. As you can tell the guy is VERY good at villians so he was a natural choice. 

Final Thoughts: This was a huge improvment. With the miserable parts of the pilot long gone this episode is a fun, breezy adventure that sets up our heroes, the series tone, and our bad guy some more while giving us tons of great gags. I highly look forward to whatever comes next and cannot wait for the next episode. Until then, goodbye, goodbye, goodbye.

[xain-russell]

The Town of Crossing

It’d been about a week now since we arrived. The hotel room we’d been provided was starting to feel less like a holding cell and more like an actual home, though I still wished there was a kitchen so that I didn’t have to keep pretending to be social with our new neighbors. Aisling was certainly a lot better with that sort of thing than I was, a lot of energy and patience for people. I was the sort of guy to get immediately tired if there were more than three or four chatty persons in a room with me.

Aisling was out and about at the moment, getting to know the towns folk who’d so graciously opened their town to us after… the exodus. Nearly eighty people, packed into a single bus, driven off to the middle of nowhere. I supposed the alternative of staying in the cities as they burned to the ground was pretty unappealing as well.

The rattle of the door knob announced Aisling’s return. He entered with arms full of groceries, and a chilly wind that he quickly cut off by kicking the door shut. The groceries fell to the floor next to the mini fridge and he fell face first onto the bed. I looked up from my sketchbook just in time to see him land right next to me. I smirked and rolled my eyes before sheathing my pen in the book’s wiring, getting up to at least put the perishables into the fridge.

“Were they busy?” I asked, knowing full well that’s not why Aisling was so haggard looking.

“No,” he responded into a pillow, before lifting his head up to speak clearly. “I stopped by the theatre again to see if Rosie had thought about giving me a job? She said there’s not a lot of shows going on, what with the end of the world and all.”

“It’s not the end of the world… just the end of western civilization.”

“You think we could hike to Canada or something?” Aisling asked thoughtfully.

“Maybe when spring comes around. I’m not walking a thousand miles through the cold.”

“Hmmm…”

Aisling planted his face back into the pillow and I directed my attention to the groceries. Nothing he had bought was particularly exciting, but since we only had a fridge and no freezer I guess that was to be expected. We had enough cereal and cold cuts to last another week though and that was good enough for me. One thing I pulled out of the plastic bags though caught my attention. An unmarked cardboard box about the size of my fist. I turned it over a few times before raising it over my head and shouting.

“What’s this?”

“What’s what?” Came the muffled reply.

“This box with no labels? What is it?”

“Oh, that. Don’t open that please.”

“Imma open it.”

“Hey.” Aisling’s tone was a lot more serious with just that one word. “Don’t. You can be curious all you want, just don’t open it.”

“Alright, fine.”

I put the box on the table in front of the TV and then finished with the groceries. Then I got up and walked back to the bed, on Aisling’s side this time. I straddled his back and placed my head close to his, whispering as menacingly as I could into his ears.

“What’s in the box?”

“Noneya.”

“Noneya?”

“Noneya Business.”

“Well you’re no fun.”

I flopped to Aisling’s side and snuggled up as close as I could to him, figuring I’d get the answer out of him at some point. Not like we were going anywhere any time soon.

~~~~~

Saturday was my turn to go job hunting. The two of us had promised to each other that if neither of us could get a job doing something we liked by the end of the month, we’d both apply to that damned grocery store. But just as no one needed an actor, an artist wasn’t exactly in high demand either. We’d flirted with the idea of becoming street performers, but the five dollars in change we’d make a day probably wouldn’t feed us once what was left of our savings dried up.

The box that Aisling was wary of me opening, for whatever reason, still poked its existence into my awareness from time to time over the course of the day, like a particularly stubborn itch I wasn’t allowed to scratch. It was hardly the most pressing issue I had to deal with but Aisling wasn’t the type to keep secrets from me, unless it was something really important. And important things, be they good or ill, loved to hang around in my head space for longer than was welcome.

I came back just as the sky was starting to turn pink, having had no luck finding something. As I approached our room door, I heard the faint strums of guitar chords. Aisling was singing along to the beat, vibrating my ears with something more than just the harmonics.

I recognized the song from one of our trips before everything went to hell. We played it on repeat for almost a month before it fell off our radar. Now Aisling was playing it, and memories of days admiring the mountain sun and the scent of blue bells with all our friends permeated through my mind.

I leaned against the door, listening to him play, waiting for it to end, before I stepped inside and made myself known. The box was gone from the counter, maybe it was whatever Aisling was quickly shoving into his pocket. I closed the door and just stood there, staring at him and his cheap guitar, enjoying that stupidly sheepish grin on his face.

“What’cha hiding?” I asked, breaking the spell of silence. Aisling went back to his guitar and strummed a few times on random chords.

“Keep asking and maybe you’ll find out. Did you find any work?”

“Someone got to the book store before us,” I said with a hint of frustration. “So no clerk jobs there. You think they’ll sell anything I write?”

“Well, I doubt they’ll be seeing anything new from any professional publications any time soon. Yeah, that actually might be a good idea? Give the people something to look forward to that isn’t doom scrolling.”

“Is that all we can offer? A distraction?” I ask aloud, just trying to think and parse out my place in the world now. “Escapism from all the horrors going on?”

“Distractions are good for the soul. And if artists are good at anything, it’s being distracting.” He smiled at me and patted the bed next to him. I smiled back and laid down as he started playing again. We sang together this time.

~~~~~

Sunday is a day of rest. No job hunting, no plotting out the next big gig or project, no worrying about what might be or what isn’t. It’s just us. I’ve got an arm and a half wrapped around Aisling’s mid section, he’s curled around me like a dragon protecting its hoard. The light’s starting to peak through the curtains, waking us up with its gentle haziness. Much better than the screech of an alarm.

I look up to see that the box has reappeared on the bedside table. I reach out and grab it, examining it and wondering if I could open it before Aisling woke up. I move to put it back before his words are in my ear.

“Go ahead.”

I hesitate for a moment, suddenly highly aware of the gradual rise and fall of our chests, almost perfectly in sync. I maneuver the box close to my face and run a nail under the tape sealing it. Gently the adhesive is torn away and I’m able to pop the cardboard apart. Inside the box is another box, one who’s style I recognize instantly. I push the top open and admire the silver band incrusted with what had to be the most beautiful diamond and alexandrite twenty bucks could buy.

“Did you really have to wait till the end times to get me one?” I ask with bemusement.

“Didn’t want to wait any longer,” Aisling answers. “My only regret is that it’s a piece of crap.”

“It’s fine. I dig the style.” I slip the ring on and then put my arms back around him.

[lnfours]

stark / peter parker x stark!reader (part I)

“she’s a Stark, dude. what did you expect?”

he sighed lightly before looking up from his phone to see the clock on the stove read 8:34 pm. normally, May would expect him home by midnight, so he still had a while to get back home and catch up on some sleep and finish his homework. 

standing up from the barstool, he pushed it back in, making it squeak against the tile floor, catching Tony’s attention. Tony looked at him as Peter swung his backpack on his shoulders after tugging on his jacket. 

“going home so soon, spider-boy?” he asked. Peter nodded, looking over at Tony.

“yeah, i figured that since we’re not doing anything i can finally catch up on some sleep and finish my homework.” he said to Tony, who nodded in response. 

“i can have a car drive you back to the city-”

“no, no, Mr. Stark, how many times have i refused? you don’t have to do these kinds of things. there’s this thing called public transpiration and it’s not as bad as you’d think.”

which was a lie. it was pretty damn scary at night. especially when you’re surrounded by a bunch of strangers and you have no idea what they can do or not. it’s uneasy at times.

Tony let out a laugh,”okay, Parker. whatever you say.”

Peter gave him a smile,”have a good night, Mr. Stark.”

“you too, Parker. see you tomorrow. travel safe.” he said to the teenage boy before he had walked out of the room and into the large living room where the rest of the team were scattered around.

“you leaving, Parker?” asked Clint and Peter nodded, turning around.

“yeah, just thought i should head out.” he said.

“alright, well be safe, alright?” Rogers spoke up as he walked passed him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

“thanks, Cap. i will.” he said before turning to everyone,”have a good night everyone.”

“you too.” everyone said in unison before going back to the tv. Peter turned down the hallway to see her walking towards him. he immediately stiffened as she jogged the rest of the way to him, her long hair flowing over her olive colored, knit sweater. 

y/n Stark.

“hey, are you leaving?” she asked him, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, displaying her peppered freckles along her tanned skin. a diamond necklace lay under collarbone on her chest, a pair of matching earrings glimmered in the light as they dangled. a silver ring wrapped around her ring finger, diamonds incrusted into it. something her mother had given to her. 

“u-uh, yeah, actually. why? what-what’s up?”

“oh, i was just going to ask you if you could help me with my Physics homework, but if you can’t, it’s okay. i can just google it or something.” she said with a smile. he shook his head.

“no, no. it’s fine. i don’t have to be home until midnight anyway, so i can help you.”

“are you sure?” she asked, giving off a concerned look. he nodded.

“thank you so much, Peter.” she said,”c’mon. follow me.”

he followed her back down the hallway, leading him through the living quarters until they reached 2 large doors. she opened them, revealing a large bedroom. a large wall of complete glass covered on side of the room, the rest of the walls were light grey, matching the duvet on the large bed. all the accent colors were nudes and pale colors, colors she’s always loved.

he walked over to the window, she followed him. 

the window over looked the city. she smiled up at him as he stood there, his breath taken away.

“it’s cool because it’s one way glass. i can see out, but no on can see in. it’d be weird if someone knew i was watching them.”

he let out a small giggle as they made their way over to his bed. she light a candle that was sitting on her nightstand before she climbed onto the bed with him.

“so, what did you need my help with?” he asked.

“oh, i actually used that as an excuse to get you back here. i would’ve just asked you, but i could tell that everyone was listening.”

they both laughed before he fell back onto the pillows and duvet.

and when she giggled, he knew he’d be in love with her forever. 

introduction   part II

tagged: @zpidey-sense

[sologxlaxies]

Not About Angels | Part 2

Coping Mechanisms

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Summary: Loving him feels like the most exquisite way of self-destruction. Too close, and you’re radioactive. Too far, and your heart shatters, and the city cracks in two while debris scatters in the space between your ribs. Pining over a brooding, unstable Bucky Barnes isn’t exactly your brightest idea, especially when you’re just as damaged as he is, and he doesn’t seem to love you half as much as you love him. Based off the song Angels by The XX.

Warnings: drinking, alcoholism, a lot of cursing.

Word count: 2369

This is part of my submission for @whothehellisbella ‘s Cool Times Summer Jamz Mix Writing Challenge

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                                    Light reflects from your shadow                                  It is more than I thought could exist                                        You move through the room                                           Like breathing was easy

Sixteen.

It is the exact number of days that Bucky has spent in the compound, and it’s also a rough estimate of the female population in this place that he’s managed to pick up. Daily.

The worst part is that you’d probably be scoffing at the women, most of them practically drooling over the prospect of seeing Sergeant Barnes, much less talking to him, if you weren’t the slightest bit jealous of them. Massively jealous, if you’re actually being honest with yourself.

Truth is, James Buchanan Barnes is a handsome son of a bitch—a very charming, good-looking, not to mention alluring man—but a jerk nonetheless. The problem is that he’s only a jerk around you, and while you’re used to people behaving like utter jackasses in your presence, it’s particularly hard when he has no problem in flashing a smile here and winking at another girl there, as long as they’re not you.

Somehow, he’s wary of you since day one, treading carefully around you just like every other member of the team does. The difference between him and the others, is that while they have plenty reasons to distrust you and be cautious of you, he doesn’t have one. And yet he treats you just the same, if not a little better, but it’s all forgotten the second he starts stealing your food and drinking your carefully stashed wine coolers that you’ve scattered all over the compound.

As infuriating as he might be, you can’t deny there’s something else about him that calls to you, an intangible something that draws you to him. After day number nineteen you think you’ve figured it out: it’s they way he walks.

He has a particular way to carry himself around the room. It’s as if his coping mechanism lies in the set of his shoulders along with the small smirk and the way he casually swings his arms, they all scream confidence with every step. It’s all fake it ‘till you make it because this Bucky doesn’t seem like same person Steve told you about, the scared, broken shell of a man that HYDRA had left behind after almost seventy years of torture and brainwashing, but you know he’s still there. No amount of therapy or brain programming they’ve been trying to fix in Wakanda can get rid of that.                                                              

The façade he’s built around himself is almost perfect—you have to give him that—but you can see through the cracks, no matter how small they are. Like the way he flinches slightly every time Tony blows something up, or how he’ll always try to keep his back against a wall, but mostly it’s just the dark circles under his eyes.

Maybe that’s what bothers you the most; the fact that he keeps pretending that there’s nothing wrong, and maybe, if you’re willing to admit another ugly truth, you’re jealous of him too, because you can’t get rid of your ghosts as easily, much less pretend that everything is okay when it’s obviously not. The bottles stashed in your room and the half empty flask of strong vodka currently snug under the waistband of your pants can attest to that. And the permanent presence of Bucky in the room, along with his cocky attitude and the fact that he’s only been here two weeks but everybody trusts him more than you, makes it really difficult for you to keep the promise you’ve made to Steve and stay sober—not that you haven’t snuck up a few drinks here and there.

By the time Friday morning rolls in, you’re practically rushing to the main hall of the compound, sighing in relief when you spot Agent Hill already sitting in the reception, and you have to restrain yourself from running towards her like a madwoman, suddenly very glad for your mandatory meetings with her.

“Hill, thank God!”

“Whoa!” she instinctively takes a step back when you try and hug her, and you pull back as well, crossing your arms protectively over your chest and trying to hide a frown.

You forgot. It’s a stupid, one-second lapse of judgment, but it happens, and when reality comes crashing back you can’t help but feel terrible all over again, muttering apologies under your breath. Your good mood is instantly sour, and you suddenly remember why you hate these meetings with her in the first place.

“Y/N…” Hill notices--of course she does, with her being your friend and all--and you hate that you only get to see her once a month after the accident, and even then you can’t even hug her. It breaks your heart. “You know the drill, and-“

“Prolonged physical contact with me is potentially dangerous for people” you huff bitterly; reciting the words you’ve been hearing over and over again. “Trust me Maria, I know. It’s a damn shame that this particular HYDRA gift didn’t come with a return policy.”

“We’re still trying to find a solution.” She says, almost apologetically. “Is Stark’s bracelet still working?”

“This thing?” you raise your right hand where the restraint bracelet is fused shut, a little incrusted vial glinting under the sun. “Yeah… it has about two days worth of dosage before Tony has to refill it.”

“Good. That’s very good Y/N.”

A few seconds pass while she taps into a little tablet, and you can’t help but feel a little hurt. It’s been two weeks since you last saw Maria, and even though you used to be friends, things have changed after the accident. She’s become colder, more distant, and it hurts more than you’re willing to admit.

“Is… is that all you came here for?” you ask her. At least it makes her look up from her notes, and her expression softens the slightest bit before she tentatively places a hand on your forearm, mindful of your long sleeves.

“Oh, no Y/N” her hand is gone in a flash, and she focuses on putting back her tablet instead “I wanted to check how things are with Barnes.”

“Him?” you’re taken off guard by the question “He’s fine, I guess. We don’t really talk much-”

You’re interrupted by the sound of Maria’s phone, and she rushes to answer it, speaking in short sentences to whoever is on the other side of the line.

“I’m so sorry,” she says after she hangs up “Something’s come up and-“

“You have to leave.” The disappointment in your voice is evident this time, but you know it won’t change anything.

“I’m really sorry about this. See you in two weeks!” And then Maria is rushing down the hall and out the door, her frame disappearing as she climbs into a car and speeds off. Just like that, you’re all alone again, left with the bitter feeling that comes after your meetings with her, but you try to ignore it as you go through the secure doors that lead back to the living quarters.

The kitchen is empty—thank your lucky stars for that—so you head straight towards Tony’s minibar, opening the little door and taking your time to pick a perfect bottle of gin that you intend to have for breakfast.

Plopping on one of the bar stools, you uncap the bottle and pour out the contents in a glass, taking a tentative sip first that soon turns into large gulps. The liquor tastes bitter and tangy on your mouth, and before you know it you’re pouring yourself another glass, feeling the all too familiar heat spread in your belly and the tingling sensation in the tip of your nose. You revel in the feeling, little giggles escaping your mouth with every other sip until the room is spinning and you have to lean on the table just a little so that you don’t fall.

That is how Nat finds you. Tipsy and tired; with your upper body sprawled over the countertop and a half empty bottle at your side. It’s become almost a tradition. Every two weeks you go and meet with Maria on a Friday morning, only to return—probably sad or angry, or both—and drink at least half a bottle for breakfast.

“Oh honey…” she mutters under her breath.

She’s at your side in a second, prying the glass from your nimble fingers and putting the bottle back in the minibar before returning to you. Carefully, she puts an arm behind your back and pulls yours over her shoulders, half carrying-half dragging you to the couch and setting you down on it.

“Nat… Nattie” you mumble, the words slurred in your tongue.

“I’m guessing your meeting didn’t go well.” She says.

“Maria wouldn’t even hug me, can you believe it?” You giggle before answering, the corners of your lips pulling up into a lopsided smile. “It went awful.”

No words are exchanged between the two of you after that, but there’s no need to. Nat and you prefer the silence, it’s something you’ve both grown to appreciate. She remains quiet when she makes you some food, quiet when she brings it to you, along with a big glass of water, and quieter still when she drapes a blanket over your shoulders, silently sitting at your side on the couch and turning on the TV to watch a movie. Even Vision doesn’t make a sound when he joins you after a few hours. He simply appears in the room with three bowls full of popcorn and sits beside Nat, passing the bowls around.

That was quite a few hours ago.

Now, the blankets are warm and fluffy and you’ve had so much to drink that your limbs feel heavy and your eyelids droopy, so you inevitably fall asleep, your teammates too focused on the show to notice until Nat makes fun of Vision because of the faces he is making and he turns around to ask you something, all bright eyes and “Hey, who was the guy-”

Vision’s words die in his mouth when he sees you’re asleep. Legs tangled up in the blankets and an empty bowl lying on the carpet. He makes a move to wake you up but a hand shoots out to his chest, halting his movements.

“Let her sleep,” says Nat, turning off the TV and picking herself off the couch at a blinding speed.  “I’ll come check on her in the morning.” It’s just past midnight and the only light comes from the huge fireplace located in the center of the room, but all the others are either on a mission or already sleeping, so both Natasha and vision go to their rooms at the other end of the facility and leave you soundly asleep on one of the couches.

Hours later, you are woken up by the sound of screams. You’re still groggy and no fully awake, trying to open your eyes in spite of the headache you feel coming on, but the screams continue to get longer and your brain is set in alarm.

Reaching for a knife you always keep under your pillow, you stretch your hand, only to find the soft surface of the leather couch and fuck, your mind can’t think because it’s the first time you are caught unprotected and drunk, and it’s the worse mistake you can make.

You sit up in a flash only to take in your surroundings, fearing some kind of attack, but all the windows are sealed tightly and the fireplace is still burning; not a single person in the room besides you.

As the screams become louder, you rush to the kitchen and grab Natasha’s gun, conveniently strapped under the counter, and head towards the noise. The sound of your feet rings like cannons in your ears and you can’t help but curse yourself for forgetting your training, rushing like a bull to try and knock down the door—to no avail because the surface is too hard and you’re not exactly in prime condition to be bumping into hard wood with your shoulder—but then it’s too late and the screams stop and there is nothing else to cover the noise of your footsteps. You see a small beam of light that’s just been turned on but before you can turn around the door is being wide opened and it’s none other than Bucky Barnes leaning against the doorframe with his hair mussed from sleep and a murderous expression on his face.

You are frozen to the spot with the gun hanging limply from your right hand (and damn, you hate feeling like an amateur right now) because, let’s face it, it is Bucky fucking Barnes, former Winter Soldier and HYDRA assassin—who hasn’t thrown even the hint of a smile of you in more than two weeks since he came back, so it’s safe to assume he doesn’t like you a lot—and you’re apparently standing right outside his room.

It was he screaming, you realize, your breath hitching at the powerful glare he sends your way.

“What the hell are you doing in my room.” It’s not a question as much as a complaint, meant to sound intimidating in the way that he almost growls when he says it, but even with his sweaty forehead and tousled hair, he’s never looked more raw to you than in that moment; unguarded and angry, even if that anger is directed at you.

“You were screaming.” You state.

“And you’re drunk.”

“Technically, I’m just hungover but- Hey!” You wedge a foot in between the wall and his bedroom door when he trues to close it, suddenly feeling very pissed off at the supersoldier. Just enough to make you push the door back open and stand in front of Bucky with your arms crossed over your chest and a frown on your face. “That’s it Barnes, you’re dropping the act right fucking now and stop being such an arrogant, disrespectful-“

“Disrespectful?” he scoffs “at least I didn’t try to break down your door in the middle of the night.”

“You were screaming your throat raw. At two in the morning-“

“And you’re drunk and delusional.” He interrupts. “If we tell the team about this, who do you think they’ll believe, huh?”

His words are enough to make you shrink and almost take a step back. That’s how much they hurt, but then it’s followed by anger and you’re not really sure if it’s you or the alcohol talking, but one moment you’re at the door and the next one you’re surging forward, poking a finger into his chest and glaring at him with enough force to make him recoil.

“Now listen to me Barnes, and listen to me well: you wanna scream? Fine. You want to punch a hole through the wall and tear your room apart? Go ahead. Just don’t pretend like everything is perfect, because you know it’s not. You went through hell and we know that, but you weren’t the only one there, and yet you bottle everything up and pretend you’re alright, when any moment now, you’re going to explode! And it’s not going to be on you, but on them, and they’re the ones who will have to take care of the aftermath, so do this team a favor and don’t make the same mistake that I did. Tell them the truth. Stop pretending.”

It all comes down to this moment. Almost three weeks of pent up anger and months of distrust and years of pain, they all lead to this moment when you confront Bucky in his room and accidentally bare your soul in the process. It’s ugly and chaotic and you don’t even realize you’re eyes are watering until you feel a stray tear rolling down your cheek, but before you can react—or do anything, really—he has taken a stance murderous enough to make you step back and all you see is the door being shut on your face.

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