#left the book blank

[patrothestupid]

abel reading

based

[a-world-with0ut-dr34ms]

Drew this a few days ago 🥲

[mvshortcut]

hey. hey uh. just wondering what happened to all the children Curtain barged and brainswept. I'm assuming he didn't have a child services worker politely waiting at the dock for them. uh. where did they go.

[14th-centuary-capitalism]

I'm reading Harrow the Ninth for the first time can someone PLEASE tell me if there's a list of pop culture references because I'm going crazy analysing side-eyeing every sentence. So far I've picked up on:

- "none planet, left grief" (none pizza left beef)

- "a hunger only thumbs could satisfy" (llamas in hats reference maybe??)

- "jail for mother" (miette?!)

[hippolotamus]

Fic Writer Bingo

thank you for the tags @underwater-ninja-13 @theotherbuckley @tizniz @hoodie-buck 💙

no pressure tagging @disasterbuckdiaz @stereopticons @blackandwhiteandrose @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @diazsdimples @daffi-990 @monsterrae1 @buddierights @jesuisici33 @vanillahigh00 loml @lizzie-bennetdarcy @steadfastsaturnsrings @apothecarose @elvensorceress @wildlife4life and anyone else who wants to 🥰

[springweeps]

adam parrish is a character that has largely been defined by his hunger for autonomy and control (that’s what makes his sacrifice to cabeswater so powerful & intriguing) so for him to come back from the brink of death by somebody else’s will, for this person who barely knows him to put him back together is so crazy and yet. it’s barely addressed. we just skip forward four years and i’m supposed to be okay with that? the conclusion to his character isn’t really a conclusion at all, it’s like a new beginning. where do we go from here?

[californiaquail]

i set an alarm this morning because i thought my landlords would go to church like they usually do and i could sneak out and maybe run to the pharmacy or something without having to have an interaction but they didn't and now i'm tired but don't really think i could successfully go back to sleep but my eyes already hurt from staring at my phone too much and i'm bored but also sick so i don't actually really feel like doing anything. and also i woke up from a dream where i was becoming some kind of nun which i am very carefully not reading into but i am still thinking about it.

[thekimspoblog]

Demon trying to feed on my insecurities: "You're a bad driver"

Me: "Of course I am. I hate driving. Going 80 mph surrounded by tons of metal is nerve-wrecking. I try to do it as little as possible. Of course I'm bad at it"

Demon: "You're a bad writer"

Me: "Well that part's simply not true. I never claimed I was the greatest author of my generation, but when I put pen to paper I know what I want to communicate and I usually do it well. If someone isn't impressed with my work, that's unfortunate but they're entitled to their opinion"

Demon: "You're a bad leader"

Me: "Well I don't know about that! I mean there was that one time when... Ok look just because people don't see me as an authority figure doesn't mean... 😠 You know you can be a real asshole, demon!"

[solitaireships]

Happy Bat/man Day to my beautiful husband <3

[lionofstone]

hey librarian/library workers of tumblr if I notice that a book is missing pages, would you want me to leave a note about that before I return it? to clarify it’s not like…a damaged book, I think it’s a printing error, but it’s definitely missing a page (two pages of content obviously) and I was thinking of attaching a note to the front cover before I returned it, but I’m not sure if that’s the sort of thing that the library can do anything about?

[transbeamrooikat]

some Lavenderclan doodles/design sketches and a sketch of my Fireheart design

[svbhuman]

never let me write again because in 680 words i have included: 2 tricolon crescens. a tricolon decrescens. 2 normal tricolons, 5 dicolons. 4 classics references. 2 anaphoric cumulative lists (a pentacolon, a tetracolon). the entire 680 words is just made of colons its a pain to read

[totallyawesome123]

I want to be

[daredevilwindypaws]

hate rarepairs:((((

[baekuras]

ladies and gentleman we back to "crying at 5am on a worknight-when will it ever stop?!" and i am sure my period being like a week away is not helping, even tho this feels more like general dread and helplessness and frustration and general mid 20s angst and not more usual pre-period drama it's not making this any better and i am mostly annoyed and angry between sobs....which is an interesting mix of emotions but not unusual

[babycharmander]

(THE BOOK OF BILL SPOILERS!!)

Thinking about Bill’s appearance at the end of the book…

[ID: BIll when confronting the Axolotl. He is shown in white silhouette, hovering in space, hovering neutrally. Notably, he has a massive crack running through his body, splitting him into multiple pieces, some of which are coming apart. /end ID]

When confronting the Axolotl, Bill is broken. The Axolotl even notes this: "Shattered, broken, not yet dead."

(Which, side note, makes me think Bill might have been lying about having been "kicked out of Hell," if he didn't actually die in Stan's head.)

[ID: Three pictures of Bill in the Theraprism. The first one shows him holding his hand against the side of his head in a dazed expression, sitting in a chair in a white padded room between a wizard with a clock for a face and Saturn (taken directly from the painting Saturn Devouring His Son). The second is a camera recording of him wearing an orange jumpsuit and kneeling in a cell, surrounded by arts and crafts tools, holding a pair of scissors, and beaming his thoughts frantically into a book. The third shows a mugshot of him staring blankly into the camera, his own name written on coded text below him. In all three images, he has a glowing scar where the cracks were, and is in one piece. /end ID]

When he's shown in the Theraprism, we see a glowing, static-y scar where the cracks were. The scar crosses his entire body (and even crosses to the other side of his eye without affecting it!), but he's actually whole, keeping himself together.

But then...

[ID: Two pictures of Bill from the last pages of the book. In the first one he is facing forward and holding up one finger, his eye reddened, his entire form glitching, and his crack is notably worse than prior, cracking through his eye, multiple smaller pieces drifting away. In the second one he is staring blankly at the viewer, his arms hanging limply, his eye wide and blank, the crack worse than the previous image, with more pieces floating away. /end ID]

In the last few pages, we see the scar is gone and the cracks are back, and even more of him is breaking away, including parts of his eye. It's especially bad in the last image, with even more pieces of him breaking away.

Also noteworthy is that the static texture behind him seems to be the same as the blood sample the US government took from him in the 1940s. He's bleeding.

We know from context that these images are meant to be taken somewhat chronologically. After dying (or nearly dying), Bill seeks out the Axolotl, who sends him to the Theraprism. While there, he writes the journal that he's beaming to us. The staff at the Theraprism catch onto this, and allow him to write out the last few pages, meaning those last few pages are chronologically the last of Bill we see.

This means that, after the events of the show, Bill was shattered... and then, upon entering the Theraprism, started to heal, his body coming together and scars forming... but at some point afterward, he started breaking apart again.

I'd made a post previously about Bill's development, how he views himself as a monster after the Euclidian Disaster, and how he continues to act monstrous afterward (and winds up agonizingly lonely as a result). I didn't really touch on this in the post, but I feel like after inadvertently destroying his home dimension...

Bill never left the denial phase of grief.

I could be wrong on this, but I get the feeling that part of his reason for acting monstrous toward just about everybody is because he sees himself as a monster, because "this is just how I am" is easier to accept than "I really really screwed up."

Bringing this back to his shattering... It's interesting to me that after entering the Theraprism, his body is scarring, which means it is healing. But then, at the end, as he's signing off the book, he's shattered again, and looking even worse than he did when talking to the Axolotl. When talking this over with a friend, they pointed out something that struck me:

Bill does not want to heal.

Healing means having to actually think through what happened. It means having to confront his past, confront destroying his home dimension, confront the harm he caused to others, confront the fact that he did not have to be this way.

And he refuses to do that.

He refuses to heal.