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oh-for-fic-sake · 5 years ago

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Dress Codes,Nooky And Cock Blocks

Masterlist

Henry tries to be a white knight and realizes Kal is to smart for his own good.

Request/Prompt: Henry and Kal meets you from work after having a bad day. Playing with Kal to make Henry jealous. Shutting kal out for some nooky but Kal sits outside the door barking and howling.

Warnings: Smutty Almost Smut! Fluff, Swearing

A/N: so this has combined two ideas one of which is from the lovely @being-worthy This was going to be a Pooh bear chapter two but hasn't quite fit the bill. Anyway I hope you all enjoy. P.S I 100% belive Kal would be a little shit!!!

Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters @thatgirly81 @angelofthorr @iloveyouyen @sofiebstar @thefangirlsblog @harrysthiccthighss @loserrlauraa @tumblrnewby @isitmine @tinabean37

This was a fucking piss take your manager was an asshole! You huffed about the office still trying to process the stupidity he just fucking spouted at you. You moved to the ladies room phone in hand ready to vent locking yourself in a stall fingers poised to rant in a long ass text message but you froze. Henry was home well at the gym to be more specific. He was over the moon having just snagged the role of Geralt of Rivia and had been working tirelessly on bulking up for the role especially now that he was getting the dates for shooting. You paused taking a deep breath. No. You cant vent to him and ruined his day to. You growled and moved leaving the bathroom slamming the door thankful that you only had another hour, at least the prick had the decency to wait until the end of the day.

You through your phone down into the bag sitting at your desk for a few moments. You cast your eyes over the computer screen seeing the little bimbo...His little bimbo Stacey there was an office romance between your asshat of a manager and this little blonde. She ran about the office in small tight skirts hair immaculate and thick makeup smeared across her face and fuck me glasses that were an accessory not prescription like yours. She had a snug fitted blouse and pencil skirt on flitting about the office in some dangerous looking heels. More feminine? Was you supposed to jump up and say 'yes sir of course Sir, anything to keep this job sir' then flutter your lashes at him?.

Fuck that, and fuck this be more feminine bullshit, there was no written dress code and as far as things had gone you were doing your job pretty damn well and you didn't need heels to do it!

You scowled seeing the blonde slip out followed by your manager it mus be time fore their discrete get away a make out in the copier room...How original. You sighed clicking your mouse scanning through the next lot of appointments...No more today but there was a shit tonne tomorrow. You sighed getting down...Was your job really on the line over skirts, makeup and heels? Sure you were on probation but they couldn't sack you for breaking a non existent dress code...Could they.honestly you wouldn't put it past Dave he seemed to have some fucked up traditional views.

Your attention was quickly drawn down to your phone buzzing you smiled seeing it was Henry quickly tapping the notification.

'Bbe you still at the office?? Miss you! 😘😘' You smiled softly heaving a deep breath then began typing.

'Yep still here not for long though finish in 1hr thank god 😘😘 u 2 at the gym still??' You sent the text and got a reply pretty quick you smiled he must have left the gym to reply so quick. Your thoughts wandered a daydream of the huge glorious man puffed out and sweaty ugh yes that's what you needed right now your man to just ruin you fuck the stress and doubt right out of you!. Your eyes scanned the new text he had sent pulljng you out of your raunchy thoughts.

'No just left walking Kal around the park he got a bit excited need to wear him out, so have a good day?'

'😂 good luck with that. And its been okay...G2g shopping after apparently I need to dress more feminine😒😒 so will be home late' You frowned hearing the two love birds enter the office again wrapped up around one another professionally you rolled your eyes as the blonde pulled away from your manager giggling and made her way to the computer opposite you instantly reaching for her compact mirror trying to correct the smeared lipstick across her face. Your phone pinged and you looked down face lighting up a little seeing the anger emojis. Henry felt the same ass you.

'😡😡🤬WTF? wats tht sppsd 2 mean?' you cringed maybe you should have just kept your mouth shut but it was too late now you sighed trying to placate him.

'I need to wear skirts and shit...be an office bimbo no big deal🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ just get a few skirts thts all' you typed back his reply was immediate almost as if he'd been typing the same time as you. Wincing you prepared yourself for the worse, Henry was a very protective man and you knew he hated the whole gender roles thing.

'😡😡You dnt need makeup and shit!! ur gorgeous dnt u listen to that wanker!! Can't u leave early?? Say ur going shopping?? Just get out of there! please love dnt let this get 2 u!!🥺🥺 I love u, ur perfect!!😍😘😘😍' You grinned got flushing rereading the words a warmth in your chest. You knew that he meant every word. Stacey looked over with a smirk snapping the compact shut and pointed a false nail in your direction.

"Oh? Is that a blush? Who are you texting? Someone cute?" You flicked your eyes up to her you didn't have anything against her per say but you were different people, she was all Instagram, kardashians and trending and you were all gaming, books and cosy pajamas. You never really spoke to her if you could help it.

"Err yeah...My boyfriend" you admitted looking down seeing another text from him. Another round of compliments and reassuring words lit up your screen.

'I mean it bbe I know u! dnt beat urself up over it! Dont u let him get 2 u!😘😘' you smiled softly yes he did know you and he knew this had not only made you angry but also insecure. You thought you looked good at work you always made a point to look 'put together' but it wasn't enough?

"Ooo was that him again? You never told me you had a boyfriend! Is he new? How long have you been together? What does he do? Whats he saying!?" You gulped as she got up quickly scuttling around the desk as fast as she could in her heels and skirt.

"We've been together a few years...He's just asking me to leave early and catch diner with him but I don't think Dave would like that..." Stacey's face lit up and she beamed at you. She was happy to have something else to gossip about.

"Oh! that’s so sweet~ he wants to steal you away for dinner! You know I wish Dave would do that but he only really pays attention to me at work....So does this sweet mystery man have a name?" You looked up at her tilting your phone away a little so she didn't see Henry's on going threats of 'coming down there and teaching Dave some manners by ripping his tongue out his ass' you shook your head as you caught the ass end of a long text full of emojis...You sort of regret teaching him the meanings of them....Was that an eggplant in the middle?.

"Henry...His name is Henry and he's an actor" Stacey squealed cupping her face completely excited for some reason.

"Oh that's so cute! You know its always you shy ones that nab yourselves the boho guys...You know I always wanted to date the 'boho' type myself but never did, they were all to....Just not my type I like clean cut guys, you know ones who fill out a suit" You squinted what the fuck was she getting at? You schooled your features standing taller quickly and made your own little dig.

"Like Dave?" she flushed and nodded excitedly missing the whole sarcastic droll over your words. She clapped her hands completely missing the fact you were poking fun at the scrawny 'stud' sleazeball who Henry could easily snap over his thigh if he wanted to.

"Yes just like my Dave~! Ugh anyway do you have a pic...Come ooon! Let me see your man~" you sighed tilting your head to her...She was pretty harmless...And dippy so it shouldn't do any harm she didn't strike you as the type of person to watch Henry's movies so shouldn't recognize him. You nodded sweetly it was actually a little fun you rarely got to show off your man, most people who knew him knew you were dating. You twisted the phone eying the screen and froze seeing the last texts he sent you whilst you spoke to Stacey.

'Have you got out early??🧐🧐'

'Babe don't ignore me!😤😤 Is he still there!?😡'

'Woman you better answer me! Stop ignoring me bbe it wont help😤😤'

'Im serious y/n do I need to chat with him? Do you want me to help?🧐🧐'

'Look out the window'

"Oh hell no!" you huffed out under your breath then stood up scrabbling to the large office window Stacey followed you alarmed. You freaked and quickly opened the window poking your head out to scream at your sweet but very dappy boyfriend. As irritated as the texts were he didn't look it, well until you really looked he was tense and it wasn't just because Kal was puling excitedly.

"Oh my god?! HENRY?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!....GET OUT OF THE GOD DAMNED ROAD!!" lone behold when you looked down you saw Henry standing there with a huge bouquet of Roses and a bag you suspected held a box of chocolates, Kal was barking up at you spinning in circles and jumping up super excited almost dragging the huge man over in all the excitement. It would seem the walk was not enough to wear out the bear. Henry grinned up at you you heard Stacey from beside you gasp.

"Holy shit is that your boyfriend??" you turned to her and smiled smugly to her nodding then glanced back down to him seeing him quickly navigate the people bustling around the car park heading for the doors. You froze. You can't let him up here he sounded angry earlier...He'd kill Dave. You ran back to your desk quickly logging off the pc and snatching up your bag.

"Where do you think your going y/n?" Dave called after you you stopped seeing him there arms crossed giving you the filthiest look he could muster seeing your bag slung over your arm then there was the distinct buzzing of someone Henry at the door trying to be buzzed in. You pointed to the door opening our mouth to fake sickness or something but was interrupted.

"Oh Dave leave her alone...All the times she's here early let her go early for once, we don't need her anymore today and it means we get the office to ourselves for an hour~" your eyes bugged out as Stacey came to your aid fluttering her lashes to your manager. He heaved a sigh and nodded to the door in a 'get out of here' motion.

You smiled quickly darting out down the stairs to the ground floor seeing Henry standing there unimpressed finger holding the button down in one long irritating ring. You shook your head at him through the glass as he held the button.

You slapped the exit button opening the door and Henry tried darting past you into the building chest puffed shoulders ready to give your boss a piece of his mind but you caught the frightening man by his ridiculous bulging bicep. You spun with him digging your heels into the worn carpet.

"No no no! Henry no!" he carried on to the stairs dragging you with him passing you the roses and Kal's lead as the dog bounced around you both yipping like the over excited pup he was. Henry had hoped filling your hands would give him time to jump up a few steps out of your reach so he could have a chat with Dave about this whole misogynistic bullshit. Henry swore when you scampered behind him hooking your arms around his forearm and leant back, if he moved you'd drop like a rock and up the few steps as you both were, you'd hurt yourself. He stopped heaving a deep sigh looking to you.

"Just five minuet's babe is all I need! fucking feminine my ass he just wants to oogle your peach of an ass!! And that's not- that ass is mine!! fucking no one NO ONE fucking upsets my baby!" Your body flushed skin prickling at the shear alpha tone the possessive growl that seeped into his words made you tremble swallowing dryly you managed to shake it off and focused on the task at hand fucking could come later for now you needed to stop him from ripping your manager a new one. You moved crouching down bearing your weight down giggling at him as he still tried to thunder up the stairs. Kal helped to pulling at his lead it was a joint effort.

"Henn love?! I'll be sacked if you go up there and make Dave piss himself! Please lets just go home it's Friday I can find a few things over the week end for now can we please leave" he stopped and looked up to the brown ceiling and flickering light sigh he clicked his tongue then looked to you slowly with a heavy breath.

"....Fine, but next time I'm having him!" you smiled finding his protective side arousing your tummy clenching just knowing you big strong man could rinse the little twat upstairs made your pussy clench you always had a thing about strong men and Henry was the most physically fit you'd ever met. You somehow managed to coax him out of the door in the direction of home taking a detour picking up a Chinese on the way.

You giggled rolling around the floor with Kal. after a quiet dinner and snuggle with Henry you had been ushered away so he could do his nightly reading of his new script.You didn't mind at all you loved seeing him so invested in his roles. you caught a glimpse of the red roses sitting proudly in a glass vase on the fireplace almost blocking the view of the tv but not quite. You loved this, just being home with your favorite boys enjoy a nice quiet night in. you scoffed mocking kal who was pulling hard on the black rope trying to out witt you with quick flicks of his head, playing tug with Kal was a workout huge as he was he had the weight and strength to out match even Henry. You did not stand a chance just holding onto the black rope hoping to slow him down but he was full of energy today.

Henry was sitting on the sofa feet up reading his witcher script pen in hand as he read his page, one a night was the deal. But honestly trying to pull him away from this particular script was a hell of a job fair enough he was trying to memorize lines and scribble down alternatives in the margins. It was sweet how excited he got, he already knew the character in and out so could already tweak things around so it felt like Geralt. He was happy had been chasing the role for a while so you didn't mind that preparing for it was taking up most of his time. but you were still horny from earlier and wouldn't complain to a night of nooky. But alas Henry was drawn in by the script and you were trying to find other ways to distract yourself from the bubbling arousal in your loins, like playing with Kal. But that’s not to say you wasn't going to tease your man, there were ways to get his attention~

You smirked putting a plan into action bending lower wriggling your ass, craning back so your shorts rode up just that little bit more. Then once in place you squealed loud gaining the mans attention as Kal tugged dragging you across the floor growling playfully bouncing his weight back jerking you around, it was only then that Henry grunted in annoyance, your voice had been high he loved you keeping Kal entertained he really did, but sometimes he needed a little quiet. Especially when he was trying to concentrate.

"You know if I keep this up I'll have bigger muscles then you~" you giggled out a you tried to hold your own against the mighty bear. Henry smiled and watched shaking his head as Kal dragged you under his legs to the free space on the side of the coffee table. As much as he was trying to concentrate you could never get on his nerves for long, he just loved you to damn much. Henry frowned as you were pulled again wincing anticipating an accident as Kal was definitely getting to invested in the game.

"Or a dislocated shoulder" he commented as Kal did another particularly painful looking shunt and shook his head side to side still growling loud around the toy. It was then that he looked at you properly and what he saw made the man pause and suck in a breath air getting trapped in his throat at the innocently erotic sight. Seeing you bent over any time was a pleasure but here and now? Bouncing deliciously on your knees being half dragged about the living room added another dimension to the whole thing. Your arms and back stretched out low on the floor spine arched slightly, sitting with your knees tucked under you, the bouncing making your ass jump deliciously.

Two full ass cheeks peeking out of you short shorts as Kal carried on his jerky movements. You bit your lip grunting and tugged back pulling with all your might successfully gaining a few inches which Kal stole back and more making you yelp and moan as you were sprawled out on the carpet again. This time dragged up on your knees into a position he he spent many nights enjoying to his fullest. were you doing this on purpose? he wouldn't put it past you...Maybe you needed a fuck, a proper fuck.

Henry couldn't help the twitching in his groin, the first tremors as he got a front row seat to the two perfect globes of your ass seemingly clapping against one another with the shorts acting like a thong shucked up your ass. Fuck you wasn't wearing Knickers again. Little fucking minx. He lowered his feet to the floor now far to invested in watching you roll around in the tiny shorts. swept up in the way your body swayed taunting him. you turned to him with a sly smile and sent him a quick wink that he almost missed.

He gaped at you, you were doing it on purpose!! His script laid completely forgotten on his lap as he watched you turn back to Kal innocently dipping down low again shoulders to the floor stretched out taught in front of you face tucked into your arm as Kal fought you for the coveted rope. God...It had been a while since he fucked you like that. He licked his lips. Too long in the busy days since snagging the witcher role he had only had time for a two quickies. Two fumbled quickies in three weeks and they wasn't even that good. Well not his usual hour long foreplay teasing and touching then good few rounds. They were just a flurry of fast rutting motion's, less fucking more jerking trying to finish as quickly as you could just wanting that high. he bit his lip watching you watch him out of the corner of your eye definitely teasing him.

"Babe come here~" You froze and twisted your head back you knew that tone.Grinning knowing you'd got your way you looked seeing Henry eyeing you hungrily biting his lip tilting his head, legs spread wide making his thighs bulge in what should be a loose set of black shorts but actually became skin tight on this Goliath of a man. You flushed under the gaze but managed to hold into the rope not giving the still pulling pup an inch. His eyes were a dark ocean blue pupils nearly swallowing the color completely, you wondered how far you could push him. you pouted at him before teasing him further opening your legs wider letting the material of your shorts almost completely disappear.

"Henry...I'm playing with Kal-" he squinted at you then quirked a brow before shaking his head snapping shut the folder holding the script and let it drop to the floor by his foot with a decisive thump. You gulped. But didn't move instead you heaved back pulling the Akita across the floor.

"Babe...Come here Kal's had his playtime..." you rolled your eyes hearing the silent 'now I want mine' sometimes he was a man child. You twisted your head to him with a flutter of your lashes and cheeky grin.

"Well I'm playing with Kal you have to wait your turn-HEY? HENRY THAT’S CHEATING!?" You yelped as Henry quickly bolted up right and stomped on the rope whilst using his considerable size and strength to pull you up off the floor making you release the toy.

"Well that’s enough playing with Kal, time to play with me. I wont be cock blocked in my own house by the dog~" you giggled as Henry quickly began climbing the stairs laughing kicking your feet, watching as Kal stayed two steps behind rope in his mouth excitedly following his parents, you were all going to play!. It was only when the dog found himself shut out of the bedroom did he realize you were in fact not going to be playing with him anymore tonight. you could hear the indignant huff through the door.

You wriggled as Henry fell onto the bed with you wrapped around him slowly devouring each other with deep kisses tongues and teeth roaming each other. It had been a good few weeks since you both explored one another properly. Henry pulled away chuckling at the soft scratches at the door. Kal was not impressed.

"Kal go lie down! We will be finished soon" Henry called out and ignored the high whines and more insistent scratching at the door and leaned over you sucking at your neck decorating it as he saw fit leaving marks of red and purple biting his mark into the crook of your neck then lower tracing a warm wet train over your thin shirt. You moaned clutching his waist trapping him between your thighs using the grip you had to rock up onto him trying to ease the burning in your core.

"Oh whats this? Someone is impatient considering she wanted to keep playing with Kal?" His voice came out as a deep rasp making you gasp cupping his face.

"You treating me with your Geralt babe?" He smiled latching onto your ear rocking down onto you drawing out soft mewls. You vaguely heard Kals whines become louder barks out side the door hearing the dog jump up pawing at the handle of the door trying to break in.

"Oh you like?~" You sighed quickly trying to rid your tshirt panting feeling just how wet your slit had got, you were embarrassingly wet considering you hadn't even done anything yet.

"Fuck yes~ oh god its so-ah fuck its so hot Henry~" he pulled back growling in the new low tone you hadn't known he was capable of, his large hands helped remove the tshirt throwing it across the room and latched onto your tits biting and sucking slow flicking his tongue across a pebbled nipple as his hands stripped you of your shorts. he chuckled seeing the damp patch, your arousal sticking to the material in one neat line.

"Oh you really do need me don't you love~" you nodded to him whining when he pulled back grunting a growl biting your boob and sucking harshly. You both moved in tandem rolling around the sheets grinding ,rocking ,biting and grunting both intent on ignoring the pup crying outside the door. He would wear himself out and get bored. Well that was the plan anyway.

Henry finally pinned you and descended on your core like a starving man given the sweetest fruit. You cried out fingers in his hair unsure what spurred on this heated frenzie but would happily indulge him. One thing you loved about him is he was always up for eating you out, the man thrived on it! He seemed to get a massive kick out of feasting on you until you came all over him. You grunted as he suckled on your bud teasing and twisting his supple lips across it Nipping you began to loose yourself panting and jerking up into his mouth chasing a sweet release you hadn't known you needed and then you heard it.

A deep loud echoing mournful howl. Even Henry stopped frowning up at you from between your legs. That was new, Kal wasn't a howly dog, he barked and yipped giving off the weirdest groans and moans. But never howled. You both burst out laughing unable to stop it as the howls were all over the place, loud and quiet raspy and uneven like Kal was an apprentice learning on the job.they were less 'howls' and more 'how-wo-wow-wo-wow' It was clear this was his first time but bless him he was trying to be the wolf of the house. You panicked as he began to get the hang of it and patted Henry's shoulder. he was still chuckling finding Kals new found voice hilarious.

"Quick stop him! If he learns that we'll never hear the end of it!" You chuckled pulling the thin sheet over you as Henry swore and quickly slinked off the bed racing to the door opening it stopping Kal in his tracks. The Akita smiled panted a few breaths thumped his tail on the floor then collected his rope entering, jumping on the bed without a care in the world.

"Babe?" You asked biting the inside of your cheek trying to stop the giggles as Henry began to scowl at the fluffy bear sprawling out on his side of the bed a flush building up his chest settling over his face. He cleared his throat.

You and Henry watched as Kal moved dropping the rope by your hand waiting for you to continue your game of tug. You flopped back in peels of laughter at Henry's face. The man looked amused and livid at the same time as realization struck. Kal, lovable cute baby boi Kal had just played Henry like a fiddle. You didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the fact your boyfriend, your chosen mate had just been outsmarted by a dog.

"Yes love?" He said none to happy with how things had turned out, here he was standing at the foot of his bed painful hard on and there you were naked and willing...In his bed...With Kal. This was not the plan.

"I hate to break it to you...But you've just been cock blocked in your own house by your dog....For a game of tug!" You giggled as you threw Henry's previous words back at him petting Kal who was still fiddling with the rope trying to make you grab it.

"No shit...Can we still fuck? I mean he can have my side! I'm gonna be on top of you anyway?" You gaped at him as he rounded the bed fulling intent on rolling on top of you sliding home. You held up your hand to him.

"Nope! No way am I fucking you next to Kal!" Henry ignored you crouching over you trying to lay you back down to finish what he started before being rudely interrupted by the Akita now in bed with his girlfriend.

"Oh babe why not? this is painful, look I'm going purple...Besides you started it its your responsibility~" he whined trying to bat away your pushing hands leaning in to capture you with a burning kiss. You dodged anticipating his next move, his kisses were always a sure fire way to make you completely melt and give in to him. you quickly twisted away throwing your legs over the side of the bed placing your hands either side of his naked hips, pressing him back as he still tried to gain on you. you swallowed looking up at him meeting his lopsided grin, trying to ignore the proud cock swaying in front of you almost tapping your heaving breasts.

"How about the shower? He's scared of the bathroom since his last bath?" Henry snapped his fingers and clapped face lighting up as he patted your hands slowly easing them off of him.

"Fuck yes! Babe you are a genius!" He moved over and kissed your face making you bat him away and then he turned to Kal wagging a finger at him.

"And you my four legged son are a pain in the ass!" You shook your head patting Kal as he tilted his head he looked offended with his dads statement. You looked to the bathroom door as Henry's pert ass vanished around the door frame.

"Daddy didn't mean it baby boy~ you know how he is when he doesn't get his way...Just a spoiled man child~ he loves you really" Kal whined ears flattening as he heard the shower switch on. You patted the dog with a sigh and got up padding across the bedroom to the en suit.

"Don't worry baby you stay there and daddy wont get you in the mean old shower~" you giggled scratching his ears as he huffed in defeat. His daddy had got the better of him and the Akita wasn't pleased. He grumbled as Henry poked his head around the door frame wriggling his brows at you as you passed him getting a playful smack on the rear. then he faced the dog and stuck his tongue out childishly to the dog who huffed and turned around choosing to give you both a clear view of his ass.

#henry cavill fic #henry cavill x reader #henry cavill imagine #henry cavill smut #henry cavill #henry cavill x y/n #henry cavill fluff #kal cavill

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descendantofthesparrow · 4 years ago

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Shuffle Playlist - Rewrite - Part of Your World - part 13 - Safe and sound

You woke up to Evie gently pushing at your shoulder Hey, we’re back” she whispered, carefully stepping over your legs and out of the limo, Carlos and Dude exiting just behind her. You groaned as you released Harry's hand and unwound your arm from around his shoulder, you cupped his cheek, and rubbed your thumb against it to wake him up.

Gil stretched and groaned as his back cracked, he looked down and poked Harry's forehead “Dude, come on wake up, we’re home” Harry slowly blinked awake, wincing in pain as he slowly sat up “Woah are you still hurting?”

“Sore” Harry muttered, letting his head fall back on the seat as he tried to stretch out his legs “I think Mal's spell took away the main stuff but I gotta deal with the end healing shit”

“ouch,” you muttered, grabbing onto Harry's hands and tugging him out of the car “come on, let's get you a hot shower or something, you need to relax after the last two days, and plus you don’t smell all that good” Harry snorted at that and grabbed onto the door frame to lean on as he got out of the limo.

“yeh try being a nasty ass cell for two days with no bathroom” he joked, giving you a soft smile when you just looked at him. “sorry, yeh know that’s how I deal with stuff love” you rolled your eyes and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“yeah yeah, come on” you intertwined your hand with Harry’s and walked after the others who were just a little ways ahead of you. Gil stepped to Harry’s other side and tossed his arm around his neck, not wanting to let go yet.

Lonnie walked off towards the school building, waving the group goodbye as she went to go put away the fencing swords.

“Ben! There you are!” Jane rushed up to Ben's side, holding her tablet in her arms “Cotillion is tomorrow!” she ushered him closer, showing him the stained-glass window design “This is your design for Mal's window, isn’t it beautiful she’s gonna love it!” Ben turned away from Jane and leaned close to Mal, whispering to her;

“Hey…should we cancel?” Mal looked up at him, if they suddenly canceled the day before the cotillion, the press would go wild, and Mal didn’t know how to deal with that.

She slightly shook her head, Jane saw their looks and attempted to backtrack for a bit to come back later. You smiled at Harry and walked up to Ben, tapping his shoulder to make him turn to you.

“Tomorrow is exactly six months since the vks came, just change what we're celebrating” you whispered, Mal and Ben, grinning at you as you said it.

“Actually…that's perfect” Ben muttered, turning back to Jane and nodding at her “Yeah, um, no it's fine…looks good.” he turned to Mal, nodding at her “Do whatever you need to do” she nodded back, watching him walk off with Jane.

Evie linked her arm with Mal’s and started to guide her to a private area “We need to talk” Evie muttered, Mal letting out a small sigh, she had already explained mostly everything on the isle, but there were still some things to be said.

“Yeah” Mal muttered back, the two girls stopped as Carlos stepped behind them.

“No.” Evie and Mal turned, their brows furrowed in confusion.

“No?” Evie asked, slightly appalled at Carlos’ random objection.

Carlos licked his lips, glancing at Jay before looking back at the girls “you guys are always going off in a huddle, whispering your…girl-talk stuff, or whatever…and Jay and I are tired of it!” Jay shook his head immediately, holding up his hands a bit.

“I’m not.” he shrugged as Carlos glared at him a bit. Carlos rolled his eyes and looked back at Mal and Evie.

“We’re you’re family too. We’ve been through a lot, together…and I’m not stopping that now, okay?” it was a moment of silence as everyone stared at Carlos, who watched Mal as she nodded in agreement. With her approval, Carlos looked to Jay and Evie “Everyone sit” he plopped down to the ground, looking up at everyone as they just raised their brows “Come on” as Jay, Evie, and Mal slowly sat down on the grass, Carlos turned, stopping you, Gil, and Harry in your tracks as you walked towards the dorms. “you too!”

You gestured to Harry, who was about two seconds from falling asleep again “I said everyone sit, this is a mandatory VK meeting” he yelled, smirking as Gil shrugged and helped Harry over to the circle, Harry sitting down next to Carlos as Gil plopped down next to Jay. You shuffled your feet awkwardly before Carlos turned back and nodded his head towards the circle “I said all of us, that includes honorary VKs” you gave a small smile and walked over, sitting down next to Harry and snorting a bit as he leaned into you, arm wrapping around your waist.

It was silent for a moment as everyone stared at each other awkwardly, before Carlos broke the silence again. “I don’t know how to start girl talk” you snorted, pressing your face into Harry’s side.

Jay pursed his lips, shrugging a bit “what up?” Evie laughed a bit, as Mal took a deep breath.

“Well…I’m a mess” she started, letting out a sigh as she started to pull grass from the ground “I’m such a fucking mess, like-six months ago I was stealing candy from babies and planning to take over the world and now-now everyone seems to want me to be this picture-perfect princess who never messes up and I’m just so stressed because it was such a sudden change and I've been freaking out for the last five months? And-and I broke up with Ben because I realized that I’m NOT ready for a relationship yet and-and it was moving so damn fast-and” Mal was speaking so quickly she hardly had time to take a breath. You finally decided to butt in, grabbing onto her moving hand.

“Woah woah woah, slow down Mal, take a long deep breath and hold it” Mal followed your instructions, taking a deep breath and holding it as you held your hand up. “Now let it go, slowly” as you lowered your hand, Mal followed with releasing her breath, her slightly glowing stressed eyes calming as her shoulders slumped “Better?”

She gave a watery smile and nodded, reaching up and rubbing at her eyes to rid of the stress tears “Yeah, thank you” you nodded, squeezing her hand before letting it go and leaning back against Harry.

“Now, Mal” she looked back up at you “ I’m going to give it to you straight, all of what you just ranted about? Your fault” Evie gasped, grabbing onto Mal's shoulders and attempting to rebuttal but Mal knocked her hands off and sighed.

“No Evie, I need to hear this, I’m not six years old needing to be given the happy dappy glitter version of everything” she looked back at you, nodding for you to continue.

You nodded back “Having to be ‘a perfect princess’? no one ever made you do that, that was all on your own. The fast relationship with Ben…okay that’s on both of you, yall NEVER talk about anything and in Auradon, it’s filled with people who get married after knowing each other for three hours, so it's on him for not asking you if you were okay with moving that fast and it's on you for not telling him you aren’t comfortable moving that fast.” Mal pressed her lips together and nodded, looking down at her hands that were clenched on her pants. “and good on you for breaking up with Ben” she looked back up with wide eyes “because in my world, yall “broke up” for like three hours before getting back together, into a toxic relationship might I add, so I’m proud of you for taking the mature step and breaking up with him…for what reason?” Mal shrugged.

“Mental stuff, it was going too fast and he kinda…doesn’t help with my…what did you call it?” you hummed and looked off for a moment.

“um, god complex?” she pointed at you and nodded.

“Yeah that, he doesn’t…try to call me out on anything, like-yes he got angry with me for using magic to cheat with my lady of the court stuff and I get why he got angry with me, but…he doesn’t call me out on the important stuff like….okay two months ago, I royally fucked up with Jane and I kinda…insulted her, I didn’t mean to but it slipped out and, Ben was right there and he did…nothing, no ‘Mal that was mean go apologize’ no ‘Mal think before you speak’ nothing, he just stood there and acted like I had done nothing wrong!” you clicked your tongue.

“He did that with Audrey too, she's more passive-aggressive on things and petty as all hell, and when she would, well, insult Jane for her hair, or Lonnie for preferring sports over mani-pedis, he acted like she didn’t say anything at all. That’s something he needs to work on, and I think he does that because of his parents.” The vks looked at you confused “Well look at them, Beast locked all the villains away on an isle and kept you all on there as if you had done something to the people in Auradon, when you didn’t you are all innocent kids just trying to survive, not once did Belle speak up against that, and that’s something she passed down to Ben, she ignores the red flags in someone because she loves him and in turn that encourages his behavior! That’s what Ben does with you and what he did with Audrey, you both have some nasty habits, Audrey’s passive-aggressiveness, and your lying tendencies.

He needs to see that what he has been taught is wrong, just like you’re learning what was wrong with your parent's teachings, you don’t need to lie or cheat your way through life, sometimes just being true to yourself and others gets you farther than anything else. Ben needs to learn that he doesn’t have to stand by and watch as everything else happens around him, he was able to break free of that before with bringing you six over but then…he lost it, and I don’t know what happened but he was so adamant of giving you guys a chance and was protective over you and then….I don’t know, he just…changed”

It was a few moments of tense silence as the VKs realized Ben had changed throughout the last couple of months. You waved off your rand “Sorry, that got away from me there, but we can talk about it properly later, but Mal, no one forced you to change, no one, that was all you. And I know you were only thinking of being accepted by the people of Auradon but that wasn’t good, you don’t NEED to be accepted by everyone in the world, you don’t NEED to be liked by everyone, because there's always going to be a handful of people who don’t, and that’s okay. What's important now is that you find yourself and become a better person in turn, yeah?”

Mal took a shuddering breath and nodded, giving you a tight-lipped smile. “Yeah…thank you (y/n)” she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around you tightly “I needed that”

You patted her back “I’m always here to give it to you straight” Mal pulled back and rubbed her eyes.

“Well…this was dumb” Jay muttered, starting to stand when Evie stopped him.

“Maybe it wasn’t” she took Mal's hand, smiling at you for a moment before looking back at the vks “We’re always gonna be the kids from the isle…I tried to forget it…I really tried. But those are our roots, and I know you two, Harry and Gil” they perked up a bit, raising their brows “never tried to forget it like I did…or Mal did. But there's really nothing to be ashamed of for being from the isle, because it made us into who we are today, we’re villain kids, and that’s never going to change.” Harry, Gil, and Carlos gave her a look as if they were saying.

‘We were never trying to change it but okay?’ Evie waved her hand at them in dismissal.

“Point is, there is no reason we have to change for anybody because who we are right now, is great…because it’s us” Mal smiled at Evie and leaned into her side, squeezing her hand “and if they don’t like us for being isle kids….tough shit” you cackled at that.

“oohohoh! The princess swore! Not something you hear every day!” Evie rolled her eyes as the rest of the VKs laughed at your remark. She turned to Mal.

“I’m going to make some changes to your dress, and if you’re up for it, only if you’re up for it…it'll be waiting for you” Mal nodded, leaning into Evie as she wrapped her arms around Mal's shoulders and hugged her.

Evie looked at you and mouthed; ‘thank you’ you nodded back and stood, holding out your hand to Harry and helping him stand. The others stood moments later and started walking towards the dorms, Jay's arm tossed over Mal's shoulder as they walked side by side.

You sighed, turning to Harry with a smile “How bout a self-care afternoon huh?” Harry grinned at that and nodded, leaning into you as you took his hand again and walked back to the dorms.

“I’m starving, see you guys later!” Gil walked the opposite way of you, waving you goodbye as he walked over to the cafeteria.

“See ya Gil!” you yelled back, leaning your head on Harry’s shoulder as he moved his arm around your neck.

Carlos smirked as Jane rushed past him with a panicked look. “Jane!” he called, laughing a bit as the girl jumped and spun around to look at him.

“Carlos!” she rushed up to him and grabbed his shoulder “do you know where Gil is?!” Carlos snickered and pointed towards the cafeteria.

“yeah, he went to go get food, good luck!” Jane grinned at Carlos and spun on her heel, running towards the cafeteria, pulling out a small box and a sparkly blue envelope from her bag.

It was only one more day till cotillion! And she didn’t want to risk losing Gil to someone else asking him to it…and she didn’t want to ladle punch AGAIN.

“Gil!” he spun around, a small smile growing on his face as she got closer.

“Hey Jane what’s-woah!” she tripped on thin air and flew forward, Gil lunged forward, easily catching her and setting her back on her feet “Careful Jane! Don’t wanna hurt that pretty face of yours” Janes face burned at Gil's words “Sorry, slip of the tongue again heh” he rubbed the back of his neck, glancing back at the cafeteria “So um-what did you…oh!”

Jane looked to the ground and shoved the box and envelope towards Gil. he gently took them from her and opened the box first, humming at the Orange and Blue decorated cupcake that sat inside, he quickly pulled it out, handed the box back to Jane, and ate it. Smirking as Jane giggled at the dollop of orange buttercream on his nose.

He finished off the cupcake and wiped the dollop of blue edible sprinkle covered buttercream off his nose and licked it. He opened the letter and let out a small gasp.

Written on the letter, in Jane’s curly neat handwriting; was an invitation to him.

He slowly looked up from the letter, smiling a bit as he looked at her shy form, her hands covering her burning red cheeks. He folded the letter ad put it in his pocket, reaching out and gently grasping Jane's hands and pulling them off her face. He chuckled at her closed eyes and leaned forward, pecking her forehead. Jane squeaked and looked up at him, her entire face turning red as she stared at him. “You can take that as a Yes, I forgave you a while ago after you made me a cake after your…fiftieth, apology” he laughed “Well I forgave you before that but I realized I still liked you when you did that” Jane giggled, then stopped.

“You-you still like me?” she mumbled, covering her mouth as if she had spilled the world's biggest secret. Gil nodded, smiling as Jane squeaked again.

“I do, and I would be happy to go to cotillion with you…wait our outfits, what if they don’t match?!” he stood, running his fingers through his hair as his eyes blew wide. Jane laughed, reaching out and grabbing his hands.

“Okay okay! I have-I have a solution” she giggled for a moment at his confused yet relieved look “Evie has some ribbon leftover from my dress, you can wear it as a hair tie! And I-I’ll wear one of your bracelets!” Gil grinned, bouncing in place a bit.

“That sounds amazing! Yeah, let's do that” some passing students smiled and shook their heads at the excited maybe-once-again-couple and entered the cafeteria.

“and-and maybe if you don’t hate me again after all of this, maybe, maybe we can get back together?” Jane tried, squealing as Gil nodded and leaned in to kiss her cheek.

“that would be amazing Jane” Gil hummed, rubbing the girl's arms and looking back at the cafeteria “um, food?” Jane clapped her hands, grabbing one of Gils and pulling him into the building.

“Yes! Food!”

You turned off the hot running water and stuck your hand into the bubbly hot bathwater, nodding to yourself. “Kay Harry, it's ready!” you shook your hand off and dried it on your pants, walking out of your pretty large bathroom and cooing as you walked out to see Harry curled up on your bed “okay I know you're tired but!”

you climbed onto the bed and gently shook his shoulder, pouting at him as he grumpily looked up at you “you need to take a bath, you stink, your dirty, and it'll help with the soreness” Harry let out a harsh breath, blowing your hair back a bit and sat up, undoing his shoes and letting them drop to the floor, tossing his jacket back at you and walking into the bathroom.

He closed the door and you heard the sound of clothing hit the floor as you gathered up his jacket and hung it in your closet. You walked back over to the bathroom and yelled through the door; “I’m gonna get some comfy clothes for you okay?!” “Thank yeh love” he yelled back sleepily, you smiled as you heard the sound of water being splashed around. You kicked his fallen boots out of the way and went to his shared room with Gil. you let out a small sigh as you rummaged through his dresser and pulled out a soft long-sleeved shirt with a compass stitch on the chest, black sweatpants, a pair of boxer briefs, deciding to grab a pair of his socks as well before shutting the drawers and walking back to your room.

You knocked on the bathroom door and pushed it open, peeking around the corner to see harry almost completely in the water, only his head to be seen above the bubbles. His bright blue eyes staring straight at you. You lifted up the pile of clothes “got you a change of clothes, they will be on the counter for you when you’re ready” you set the pile on the counter opposite of the bath and turned to walk out of the bathroom to give him some privacy when he whined and reached out to you. You turned with an exasperated laugh “I swear you were a cat with separation anxiety in your past life or something” you snorted, walking over to the bathtub and crouching down next to it, your eyes level with Harry’s now. “Not that it’s a bad thing though.”

He hung his arm over the edge of the tub, making a grabby hand at you and grinning sleepily when you intertwined your fingers with his. You rested your chin on the edge of the bathtub and closed your eyes, just enjoying the peace that you finally had with Harry after a crazy two days of him being missing.

Wait- you perked up, looking down at the water and smirking as the water was no longer clear, but blue and shimmery and smelling of lavender, ocean salt, and a slight hint of vanilla. “You used my bath bombs didn’t you~” you teased, lifting up Harry's hand and pressing your lips to the back of it. He gave a shy smile and shrugged.

“It looked nice” he mumbled, closing his eyes and resting his head against the back of the tub.

“Well, it's fine, go crazy with my shit, anything to help you relax” you sat up and pressed a kiss to his forehead “You deserve some pampering after the days you’ve had” he hummed with a dopey smile on his face, cracking his eyes open as you stood and walked away. As he whined, you turned, smiling as he pouted at you. “I’ll be just outside the door baby” he turned red at the pet name and turned away from you. You chuckled and closed the door most of the way “I’ll leave the door open, yell if you need anything.”

“Kay” was his only response, you snorted a bit and turned, putting your hands on your hips as you overlooked your room…time to do a little R&R redecorating.

First, hang fairy lights above your bed, next, get some big ass blankets and sheets…there should be some extras in the back of your closet.

Half an hour after he got in the bath, Harry narrowed his eyes at the large grey basket slightly hidden in the nook below your bathroom counter. You did say he could use any of your stuff. He pulled at the box, smiling a bit at the array of self-care items, ranging from simple face wash to charcoal foam face masks and the little paddles that allowed easy appliance.

He ran his hand through his freshly shampooed hair, which smelled like (fav shampoo/conditioner), and the waft of your (fav body wash smell) body wash floating up, making him inhale your sent with a smile.

He let out a little sigh and rummaged through the basket, brow-raising as he spotted an exfoliating mud mask. He pulled out the small container it was in and nodded, it would do. He grabbed a small bottle of face moisturizer and stood, walking to the door and pulling it open, mouth dropping open at what he saw.

The curtains to your room were closed, shutting it in near darkness, the only light being the soft yellow fairy lights that hung just above your bed, hidden from the rest of the room by large sheets and blankets laying across the bedposts and pinned to the walls.

“Wow,” he muttered, walking into the room and setting the cosmetics on the bed, sitting down and smiling up at the soft lights.

“Like it?” he nodded as you re-entered the room and set your now full bag next to him, he looked down at the bag, tilting his head curiously “I got some snacks that I didn’t have in my room” you pulled out a bag of popped popcorn and handed him the bag, he carefully opened it as you got out more snacks and set them on the bed “So I was thinking, movie cuddle afternoon, and then…I was thinking I could paint your nails?” you suggested, squealing a bit in happiness as Harry grinned at you and nodded “really?” “Aye, sounds fun, what color?” he stuck a handful of popcorn in his mouth and looked at you, smiling as you flicked off stray corn from his lip.

“Black to red ombre, then-your hair is still wet” you sighed, turning to walk back into the bathroom and grab a dry towel. You walked back up to harry and motioned for him to lean towards you, he obeyed and you ruffled the towel in his hair, biting your lip as it already started to floof up. “Actually” you stopped, throwing the towel around his neck and turning back to the bathroom “Better idea”

Harry bobbed his head a bit, listening to the non-existent music in his head as you did whatever in the bathroom. His eyes dropped a bit as he reached next to him and grabbed the box of fruit snacks.

“There we go” he perked up a bit as you suddenly appeared beside him with a hairdryer “Stand up” Harry looked at you with squinted eyes as you plugged the device into the socket next to your bed, eyes following you as you moved to stand in front of him “…Alright then” you stepped up on the bed next to him and plopped down behind him, grabbing his shoulder and guiding him to lean into you.

He happily did so and almost purred as you started to dry his hair, your fingers rubbing comfortingly at his scalp. Five minutes later and Harry was almost asleep, heavily leaning into your hand as you gently guided it around to dry his hair properly. As you felt the warm dry fluffy hair, you nodded to yourself and turned off the hair drier, setting it next to you and letting your hands run through Harry's hair.

He groaned a bit and fell back, cheek resting against your collar bone as you scratched his head. Harry suddenly jumped as a knock suddenly sounded on your door. You gently lifted him out of your lap and let him flop back on the blankets.

You walked over to the door and opened it “Oh!” you stepped outside and closed the door behind you “Fergus! What’s up?”

He furrowed his brows, looking down at your outfit. You glanced down, wincing a bit “That…outfit aside. Ah haven't seen ye or Harry fur a'maist twa days, is everything okay?” you pursed your lips in thought, before sighing.

“Mal went back to the isle and Harry went with her�� you held up your hand to stop him from interrupting “Both of them are back now and Harry went through some shit when he was there, right now we're both just relaxing until tomorrow…okay?” Fergus glanced back up at your door and slowly nodded.

“Harry...he's okay sricht?” you paused, Fergus’s eyes widened for a moment “Ye hesitated” he pointed out, gritting his teeth anxiously as you waved him off.

“I did…Harry’s dad is a piece of shit that’s all I’ll say, if you need to know anything else, either ask Harry or ask me to get permission from him, I won't just blab away about what happened” Fergus nodded, reaching up and patting your shoulder.

“A'richt then... I’ll see ye twa efter okay?” you smiled at him and patted his arm, turning to walk back into your room.

“See you later” you opened the door and stepped inside, shutting the door with your foot. You looked down at your outfit and sighed, you were still in full isle gear, minus the hook and sword. You shrugged off Harry’s jacket and tossed it on your desk chair.

You walked over to your dresser and grabbed one of Harry’s black long sleeves that you had commandeered from him a few weeks back and a pair of black sweats.

You walked over to the bathroom, cooing at Harry already curled up in your large red fluffy blanket, tufts of dark brown-black hair peeking out from the top and light snores reaching your ears.

You walked into the bathroom and quickly changed, you walked back out and placed your boots next to Harry’s, and chucked your old set of clothes into your laundry.

You cleaned up the scattered snacks on the bed and set them on your table set by your tv. You grabbed the cosmetics Harry had put on your bed and walked over to the side he was mostly laying on, shaking his shoulder a bit. He grumbled and popped his head out of the folds of the blanket, sleepy ocean blue staring into you “Don’t you want to do the face stuff?” he slowly nodded as his mind caught up to your words and sat up, the blanket falling around his hips. He patted his cheeks to wake himself a bit and grabbed the items from you, spreading the mud mask on his face as you turned on the tv and went through your movies.

“So, what are we watching” you asked, tilting your head towards Harry a bit, wanting to hear what his maybe request would be.

“Um, Ah dinnae know...something lighthearted?” he tried, his accent slipping deeper than usual. You giggled a bit, poor baby, so tired.

“Um, how bout…Pirates of the Caribbean; Dead man's chest?” Harry almost snapped awake at that, he grinned and nodded enthusiastically. “Okay, it's not light-hearted buts it a hella good movie”

You put in the blue-ray disc and walked back over to the bathroom, taking out your black and red nail polish, along with the top and bottom coats. “Alright scooch forward” Harry did so, eyes locked onto the Tv. You sat behind him, legs on either side of his torso, and grabbed onto his shoulder, pulling him towards your chest, his head resting just beneath your chin. “Hand please” he lifted his right hand, letting you grab onto it and start painting his nails.

The next twenty minutes of you painting his nails and him watching the movie were silent and calming, you felt Harry almost drift off multiple times before snapping back awake when someone spoke or action exploded on the screen. You cursed as you had forgotten the hardening nail UV light thing to let Harry move his hands without worrying about ruining the polish. You patted his shoulder, making him whine again as your warmth disappeared from his back. You returned moments later, resuming the position you had and hardening the polish on his nails.

You glanced at his face, admiring the flutter of his lashes as he fought off sleep, before the mud mask caught your eye “shit!” you once more got off the bed, laughing a bit at Harry's loud complaint as you got a washcloth wet “your mask dummy!” he shut up, scooching towards you as you walked toward him with the wet and warm cloth.

He grabbed it from you and cleaned off the mask, stopping a bit as you opened the bottle of moisturizer and dolloped some on your finger. He dried his face with his sleeve and hummed as you dabbed it on his face and rubbed it into his skin for him “Ta loue” he murmured, you gave him a look and snorted.

“um, English please?” you laughed, pecking his nose and moisturizing your face before putting away the cosmetics.

Harry pouted and shook his head “Thank yeh love” he murmured again, smiling sleepily as you grinned at him.

“You’re welcome baby” you grinned as his face turned pink again. “Come on, how does falling asleep to Pirates of the Caribbean sound?” Harry grinned, tightening his grip on your fluffy red blanked and waiting for you to lay down on the bed before flopping on your chest and nuzzling into your neck.

You felt Harry’s soft breath on your neck as his body relaxed, you closed your eyes, reaching up and placing your hand on the back of his neck, rubbing your thumb as you pressed a soft kiss to his forehead.

“A loue ye (y/n)” a soft whisper brushed against your senses, only able to be heard because your ear was right next to his mouth.

You felt a tear slip down your cheek and you wrapped your other arm around his shoulder and held him tighter.

“I love you too Harry”

-end of part 13-

aaand part 13! and we are officially back in Auradon! Mal gets a talking to, Bens weird passiveness is “explained” (and soon to be “fixed”) Jane asked out Gil and he said yes~ and some harry n (y/n) fluff! thanks to @sephiralorange for giving me the self care idea n Harry using (y/n) products~!. yes i made the art, i couldn't help myself! next chapter! the last stretch to Cotillion! and to answer anyone's possible question about what happened to Davy? lets just say there's Davy wont be doing anything with his left hand for....well never lol.

hopefully that rewritten vk “girl” talk made sense, but i do want to say if it does sound like im ragging on Ben, i wasn't trying to, i was just trying to possibly explain why he acts like he does in D2 and beyond. also i love Audrey as a character but she's kinda nasty lol

anyway! permtaglist!

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange

@lunanight2012 @daughter-of-the-stars11

@musicarose @random-thoughts-003

@remembered-license @imtryingthisout

@verboetoperee @rintheemolion @thecaptainsgingersnap

@descendantsobsessed

taglist

@thesailbells @beccad10x

#disney descendants #harry hook x reader #harry hook descendants #Descendents #descendants #harry hook #harry hook imagine #shuffle playlist #rewrite #part of your world

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anti-alice · 5 years ago

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WARNING POST: KingYuley

Ulysses, known as KingYuley currently, is a semi-popular artist in the Sam and Max fandom. Their art is cute and they’re very talented. They are also, however, a homophobe who is close friends with both a TERF, and a racist. I’m here to spread awareness of this so folks know to stay away and be careful when interacting with Ulysses, since many people interact with no knowledge of this fact. TW for Homophobia, TERF Ideology, Speaking Over Minorities, and Anti-Asian Racism under the cut.

On Ulysse’s homophobia, I can no longer gather screenshotted proof. Because this is the claim with no screenshots, only a witness account, I’m getting it out of the way first. Please skip it if words alone are not enough, as that’s perfectly logical.

Ulysses used to run an NSFW Sam and Max server, for adults only, of course. They deleted it after some personal drama, but during their time running the server, they had made one thing abundantly clear: they HATED SamMax as a ship, and treated those who shipped it like they were trash. When asked about making a section for people to talk about the ship, they named it “toxic-waste-zone”. Then, they invaded the area they made SPECIFICALLY for people to talk about this ship, just to rant about how it “makes no sense” and, here’s the frosting on the cake: they said “Why can’t two guys just be FRIENDS for once without everyone making it gay?”. The famous homophobe rhetoric. When asked to acknowledge the fact that it’s CANON that Max “doesn’t like girls”, they’d brush it off with Fanon- but, when shown a very logical ship, it’s suddenly “forced”. Very messy stuff. The only way I can get further proof of this event would be to ask those involved to confirm it, however I do not want to involve them in any further drama. So, that’s it for Ulysses’ actions. Now, onto one of Ulysses’ close friends: Hazardgirl. Some Sam and Max fans may recall she once went on homophobic rants about how Max “HAS to be Straight” in the Sam and Max tags. Well, after being forced from tumblr, she remained on twitter, and is close mutuals with Ulysses. But she’s not just a homophobe- she’s a TERF who likes speaking over Minorities.

Here’s the proof that they’re mutuals.

Here is Hazard’s blatant TERF ideology on display, as well as support for the TERF group, Woman’s Place.

Here is another tweet from Hazard’s most recent likes, speaking in support of talking over Minorities. The dark theme tweets are recent, the mobile tweet is from late last year. As of now, Hazard and Ulysses are still close friends who frequently interact.

Now, for fearmongrel/dappydemon. Dappydemon was a Twitter FNAF fan and friend of Ulysses, who posted an incredibly racist video involving BTS, claiming it was one of their favorites.

Here is proof of Ulysses being Mongrel’s friend- this fanart is very recent.

And here is the incredibly racist video that led to Dappy changing their name to FearMongrel. As you can see, it’s fucking horrid.

So, this is a Warning Post: please do not interact with Ulysse, aka KingYuley. She is, if nothing else, perfectly happy being friends with outed racists and TERFs. Thank you for your time.

#sam and max #important #discourse #kingyuley #callout post

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dynamimight · 3 years ago

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cw: small rant under cut, fEeliNgs ugh, fandom is tiring sometimes

short summary: i am 17, sex is a fun read, but i wanna tiktok w/my anime bf

i find it so hard that the fics i want to read sometimes hv been thrown out of existence. i am still a teenager. most of the fics in the tags hv to do with adulthood, & while i love them, sometimes i just want a lil happy dappy tune. a dumb little story about some characters engaging in pure tomfoolery. some true shenanigans. characters that act the age they are in the show (16-18, upperclassmen age). i hv zero motivation to write said fics tho, so contemplation almost feels useless

#it is SO hard to be happy with content these days for me #while i love your all characters are 20+ we live in an apartment with maybe a pet & hv great sex storyline #it seems like the only plot available #like the fun stuff i could relate to was left back in 2020 and it's been a sex-filled desert since #im only gonna be 17 for so long #i love the accs here that are/write for ppl my age/in my age range tho #like strictly sfw accs are my friends now fr 😩☝🏽#ugh sorry for complaining but im so tired #not even tagging as a specific fandom bc it simply applies.

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splanana-bitz · 1 year ago

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i am asking you about your special interests. rant about all of them to me if you wish. go off my friend :)

Holy shit, you are now my new favorite person-

A lot of my special interests right now mainly center around Will Wood, ROTTMNT, and human behavior as a whole.

With Will Wood's music, whether he intends it to be or not, is just so profound and well made and really makes me happy. The symbolism, the seemingly needless, lengthy words, and the themes he explores overall are just ground-breaking to me and I could analyze his stuff for days on end with a burning passion. And the way his music (both old and new) sounds?? LIKE WHAT??

I swear, no two songs of his sound the same, and I mean it in the best way possible. The pacing, the instrumental choice, really everything just feels uniquely respective to its own song and I am drooling over it.

Will Wood is easily one of the best musicians I have ever had the pleasure of discovering. When I found his stuff, I hadn't had a musical hyperfixation in actual years, but boy did listening to the normal album change that.

Like I said, the lyrics, the sounds of the music, and (what I believe is) the continued theme of normalcy while each song still tells its own theme/story?? It's just perfection to me, really-

As for ROTTMNT? Don't even get me started!

The animation is lively, colorful, and has a delightful, anime-ish style to it that just makes the whole show eye candy to me. The boxy(?) movement in certain scenes, the shading (especially in the movie), and the character designs?? Omg the character designs-

I love how Rise broke what I feel was the "copy-and-paste" style of design for the turtles, unlike the previous series (I'm not saying other TMNT shows were bad, but good lord the designs (looking at you, 2012) were...awful-). Each design feels respective to its own character and the diversity in appearance really helps the turtle's personalities, fighting style, and expression shine through.

And the turtles themselves? I simply just adore what the show did with their personalities and how they gave them more depth and really humanized them. Especially with Raph and Donnie. Especially Raph and Donnie.

Raph always came off as just "the angry one," and there was seemingly no reason for why and there was nothing else to him, when I tried getting into older series, and at times, it made me dislike him as a character. But in Rise? They made him into a gentle giant with different likes, dislikes, interests, strength, weaknesses, and gave him reason to be angry in certain scenarios, rather than feeding us the usual "pissed off all the time" Raph. In Rise, he just comes off as a reasonably tired, realistic older brother that cares about his family and just wants the best for everyone, even if there are times he comes off in the wrong way.

And I could go off about Donnie for days

But to keep it as short as I can; Donnie is to die for in Rise. He is more than just the "tech guy." He is shown to indulge in different interests and hobbies, he has vulnerable moments, he's sarcastically witty and deadpan, just everything I could want in a character like him.

And the way they handled autistic representation with Donnie?

*chef's kiss* 11/10 👌

He comes off a realistic, neurodivergent person that isn't weakened by his condition, and is instead just accepted as he is and plays a vital role to the brother's chemistry, unlike in most shows where the autistic character feels like an inconvenience, a man-child, an un-empathetic asshole, and/or too indulged in their hyperfixation to be useful, or that's all there is to them as a person.

Rise just got so many things right and I adore the show for it!

And lastly; with human behavior? It's certainly not as strong as the last two fixations, but I still find it rather interesting.

Everything we have been taught since birth feels black and white, especially with people's intentions and emotions. But, I don't think that's the case at all (in 95% of cases). People each have their own thoughts, feelings, and reasonings for why they do x, y, z, and I may not know everything about it, but Jesus Christ, it intrigues me so much.

Thank you so much for asking about my special interests =)

I apologize it took a while to answer, I've been busy with school, my job, and trying to finish the first part of the Black Box Warrior analysis (which I should hopefully have posted in the next day or two-)

#will wood #will wood and the tapeworms #the normal album #wwattw #dappy rants #my special interest #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #human behaviour #sociology #answering asks

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gothimothi · 7 years ago

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Next door neighbor STARING::: Wilford Warfstashe, Dapper/DapperJack, Darkiplier, and Anti Dapper X Wilford Dappers pov I sigh, Anti ranting about how Dark was a dick and so on. Geez, how blind is Anti that he can't see he's fallen for Dark?Or Darki-bitch as Anti calls him. "LIKE HOW DARE HE COME INTO MY HOUSE AND KISS ME!!" Anti yells. I swear he's giving me a headache. "AND THEN HE SLAPS ME!!!" I look at him, my eye brow raised. "You mean you slaped 'Em?" "AFTER HE SLAPED ME!!!" I sigh and shake my head, continuing to knit a blanket. After I shooed Anti off and him begrudgingly walking out. I sigh, sitting on the comfy bench beside the window. As I drink my earl gray tea when a rock flys through my window, breaking the glass, I scream slightly, quickly putting my tea down and quickly open the window poping my head out. "WHO THE HE-" I start to shout until I see Wilford lay suductivly on the roof of his and Darks house. "Heyyyy bbbbaby~" wilford suducivly slurs and winks at me, Dark shout angerly at wilford to get off the roof. "WILFORD WARFSTASH GET THE HELL OFF OF THE ROOF!!!" Dark angerly shouts, I chuckle as Wilford smirks at me, making me blush. "Hey! you two owe me a window!!"Dark grubles, stomping back into the house from the balcany. As I let out a airy chuckle I set on the window seal and look at Wilford, him blowing me a kiss, I quickly look down, my face already warm. 5 hours later.. (still dappers pov) I smile, finishing up writing in my jernoal for the day and get up, seeing it's dark outside. I look at my bed as I unbutton my vest, gingerly pulling it off myself and setting it on the bed. As I finish taking off my white shirt I hear a creak at my open window. I quickly grab my katana duiscised as a cane and point to the what i asumme is intuder at my window.Wilford. Wilford fucking Warfstashe, at my window. I quickly cover my chest. "What do you want Will!?" Wilford, blushing bright red smirks, hoping into my room and slowly walking towards me, pinning my legs to the bed. "W-Wilford...w-what are you doin-" Before I could continue Wilford kisses me passionatly, my eyes whiden as I melt into the surpring kiss. Wilford slowly pulls back, looking into my eyes. "S-So that's what you wanted huh~?" Wilford smirks and nods, picking me up by my butt making me yelp and blush. Wilford smiles, happily nibbling down my neck, his mustashe tickling me. "Hheheh W-Wil'f s-stOP" I giggle more, wraping my arms around him. Wilford smiles more, kissing over my daw and to my mouth, sharing a happy kiss, filling us both with butterflys. Wilford finally put me down after desiding we're going to go on a late 12 am date. I quickly redress meself even through Wilfords protests. We walk out of the room; many loud grunts and moans coming from the ajasent room to mine, Anti's. we chuckle and walk out of the house. As we walk through the beautiful dark and neon streats, a man jumps out at us, tch idiot. the man smirks, pulling out a kinfe. "Gemme your money! both of ya!" Wilford and I chuckle. Wilford pulls out his silver pistol, shooting the mans shoulders. I pull my katana out, slicing his head of with ease. Wilford smiles at me as I flick the blood of the blade, sheething it. He picks me up and kisses me, walking away from the body. I nuzzle into him as he walks. Wilford walks into a neon bar, setitng me on his lap as he sets on the bar. Wilford orders us more and more drinks until... The next morning.. I yawn, feeling arms wraping around my body. My eyes whiden as I look around, seeing I'm in my room, I sigh in releaf. I slowly look behind me, luckily, seeing somone I knew, Wilford. I blush and snuggle into him. I feel him softly kiss my neck muttering "Hey dappy....do you know what happened after we went to the bar..?" I shrug slightly muttering back "I dunno..." I relise both of us are nude and I blushes brighter. "I t-think I know what h-happened..." "E-Eh? Oh...o-oh" I turn around, stuffing my face into Wilfords chest, blushging brightly. Wilford chuckles, happily holding me in his strong arms.

#markiplier #wilford #wilford warfstache #markiplier wilford #jacksepticeye #dapper #dapperjack #dapper jack #imagine your otp #otp

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jojosbabe · 3 years ago

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Ok based on a post i liked a while back.

Decided to do this rant ask meme.

Im actually doing pretty good. I'm not angry really. This is just a f/o asks that i wanted to do. I just haven't gotten around to post them.

Be prepared. This has no filter. Its a rant meme so you should expect no filter. Because they said i could be raw as possible.

But If you can't handle my own personal opinions,or just don't like vent posts. Then keep scrolling. I thought I'd give a warning before posting this. Because everyone else is allowed to vent on their fave. Let me vent on mine. But again not everyone wants to see that so here is a warning. And tagged as vent.

Jotaro fan rant/hot take ask meme below

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1) what’s a Hot Take you have about your f/o?: that he is autistic. Like people's attitudes towards this hc is appalling. Like so many people are ableist af. Like i can't understand how they can't see it. Its right there. But even if he wasn't. Why are people so hung up about autistic hcs?! Like it pisses me off.

2) on what do you disagree with other fans of your f/o?: plenty. The list could go on. But I'll give my main 3.

1.That he was as close to kakyoin as people say he was. Like no offense but in canon,jotaro really wasn't super chummy or close with people. That kinda was the point. The openess we saw with him came AFTER SDC. Look don't get me wrong,he cared about kakyoin. But not any different or as much as he did for polnareff or avdol or iggy. The only person he kinda clung to was his grandfather Joseph. But i feel that's due to comfort and familiarity. But i mean you would too given his situation during sdc. You hardly know these guys and don't expect him to be chummy chummy with em. Like he isn't heartless. He's grumpy or standoffish to some. But they know he cares and wouldn't let harm come to them. But he isn't close friends. I feel people think someone has to be besties,uber super fucking happy dappy all the time around people to care about someone? Like can't someone care the normal amount? Like him and kakyoin aren't at odds but they aren't super chummy pals like people say. So no jotaro doesn't really have a "jobro" because he didn't need one. They all kinda "needed" each other to be really bluntly honest.

2. That he didn't care about his family. In canon jolyne and his wife. Like fr. The whole thing was stupid in canon. But fans make it worse. And I'm sick and tired of seeing it. It pisses me off. Like he loves his family to death. The reason is stupid but also given how he is not impossible. But he'd have to be broken up on his confidence in order for this to make sense. But EVEN THEN. Its fucking stupid to me. Even in my own writing,with my own storyline and s/i. He doesn't do this "boohoo too many stand users,its just a little too hard" type crap. Maybe he gets a bit shakey,but I'd expect better from a wife of jotaro kujo. LIKE BITCH,TOUGHEN UP OK?! Like im not gonna be nice. Because this rant isn't about being nice. I'm gonna be authentic and genuine. If you are gonna be with jotaro motherfuckin kujo. You gotta be able to handle him,the storms that comes,and the joestar bullshit that comes your way. You gotta put this bitch back in alignment every now n then. You have to be his anchor when he needs it. And he will surely be your sail. Like fr. Jotaro kujo isn't hard to write. Y'all just lazy,can't write relationships to save your life or never been in one. Maybe it's experience,maybe it's because i understand how he is. Maybe it's because i know people like him. But kujo is a ride or die. So for him to up and walk away is fucking stupid. Too many inconsistencies in canon (even by jojo anime/manga standards) pisses me off. Like i don't expect it to be perfect. But damn man. It's like people completely miss the point. That why in later parts he was written so fucking weak. Its like everything after part 4 got weaker and weaker up till the reset and sbr and then jojolion were great. 5 and 6 sucked. No offense. But they did. And some ideas araki had/has/did. I disagree with and just thought "why the fuck did you think this was good?" Why did your editors think this was ok? Also i hate his canon wife,not for the reasons you think. No i hate it was a fucking waste of time. We could have had something great. But nope. Ruined. Anyways. Jotaro is a good dad,a tad stupid sometimes,but a good father. And husband. So fuck outta here n miss me with the bullshit.

3. HIS FATHER WASN'T A DEADBEAT! AND NEITHER IS HE. (Tho jotaro kujo distant himself from them he wasn't completely out of their lives. Because that's fucking stupid af and i refuse to believe he'd ghost someone he loves so much or cares about even for canons bullshit excuses). Joots father was a musician,he was on tour. How the fuck was he supposed to know?! He was out here trying to make a living for his family,give them the comfortable life they deserve. And y'all blaming him for not being there?! Look just because y'all hate y'alls fathers don't mean you gotta put that shit on my mans. Sadao kujo also to my knowledge isn't a stand user so having him involved wouldn't make sense. Besides Joseph and him are at odds,no Joseph nor sadao truly hate each other. They are just petty stupid ol men. XD. But they love and care about holly and jotaro so damn much. They love their family. Sadao kujo is a good man. And honestly i see him like his son jotaro at least more so when he was younger. But as he got older and met holly and had his son jotaro. He got a bit softer,sweeter,and less abrasive. And i feel he and holly have a special relationship,a fun loving sweet couple and sadao helps calm holly when she gets worked up,like she has pretty good nerves when it come sdown to it,but i feel she gets overwhelmed easy,i hc her as a pisces so yeah,they get very overwhelmed easy. Again i could go on about his dad n mom. But jotaro has a loving family life growing up. Its social life that is hell for him,because society sucks and racism n ableism exists still people.

3) did you used to ship your f/o with anyone before realizing you wanted to ship them with yourself? : no. Not really. Even his canon wife. Tho i wasn't too keen on it for other reasons. I'd be ok with it,if it wasn't screwed up in canon(sorry they just ruined it for me. Manga looked better too the anime jotawife is ugly sorry not sorry). But no i don't ship him with anyone or anything else.

4) do you feel like you have to defend your f/o all the time? : unfortunately yes. I do. All the fucking time. People just don't get him.

5) what’s the dumbest thing you’ve heard about your f/o, either on the internet or irl? : that he wants to fuck dolphins?....i don't use the word cringe often but yeah that's cringe. Like one meme and y'all take it seriously. Not to mention y'all use it as an excuse to fridge the women in his life. Oof. Not a good look buddy,your sexism is showing.

6) what are some tropes that fan art of your f/o tends to follow?: tsundere,tough guy,bad boy with a heart of gold,main protag,etc?

7) did your f/o deserve better?: YOU BET YOUR LEFT ASSCHEEK HE DOES!!!! (Only the left because the right got tired)

8) do you even like the source your f/o comes from or do you only watch it for them & nothing else?: sometimes. Yes and no.

9) do you distance yourself from other fans of your f/o or their source?: yes. To a degree.

10) how did you feel when you realized “oh of course i had to like That Character”?: hahahahaha. Well it actually started when i was getting into jojos bizarre adventures. When it came to his part,i started to really really like the character. And the more i thought about it. The more i realized this bitch was just like my irl boyfriend. Maybe not 100% but good lord some things are so on the money its scary. But also it's inevitable,i tend to fall for the biggest toughest dude in the room. Even more so if he care. And joot care a lot.

11) do you think it’s better to have a copious amount of content for your f/o, even with the risk of finding a lot of ship art, or better to have a lot less?: depending on the situation.

12) aren’t you tired of being nice? this is an excuse to rant.: be prepared.......

Ok look,jotaro kujo isn't gonna take shit,but he isn't gonna be heartless to you. He doesn't love in your typical "uwu mushy gushy" way. Not to say he can't be softaro. Because he definitely is. But he is more of a private person than kiss n tell. Sure if he's feeling cocky,needs to lay down the law,especially when he was younger. He'll gladly let you know what's up. But for the most part,he rather keep his relationship with someone,between him and that someone. He is a good man deep down. He will open doors,get you anything you need,he's the type if you feel down,he'll be there to listen. He isn't always good with words but he tries,and most of it is solid advice. But if you need comfort and not advice. He'll be there to help with that too. Tho he is more awkward when he was younger than older joot. But he still tries. Maybe he'd give a hug,or something that he knows is a surefire way to calm you. It works with his momma so why not you? Even if you ain't a huggy person,jotaro's hugs are reassuring and you feel so secure in his arms. Nothing and noone will hurt you while he's around. He's more of a acts of service and maybe even physical touch kinda guy. Physical touch i say because words are hard for him. He'd rather show than tell. Not to say he can't talk or tell you i love you. He does,definitely. But physically showing you by doing things for you. Hugs,kisses,protective arms around you,making your bed,getting you coffee,flowers,etc. That is so much easier for him to grasp and understand than words alone. To him, "Anyone can say i love you,its takes a special man to show it. Actions speak louder than words to me." . Gift giving is another love language. Again words of affirmation isn't impossible for him,it's just a language that he understands but feels meaningless without actions to back it. Now if he knows you're the type of person who loves to tell him how much you mean to him aka words of affirmation. Be careful with your words,he will take it to heart. Jotaro kujo will remember what you said. Again if he knows you,and your quirks. You're fine. But don't expect a perfect boyfriend/husband. Sometimes he needs help understanding. Be blunt first than details. Simple. This goes not just with words but sometimes even actions.

Oh yeah one more thing. He loves sea life,that is his life after all. But he does love things outside his potential fixations.

Again jotaro would say i love you ok? If that's what you want. But he himself doesn't find it necessary if it doesn't mean anything. Aka unless you are in a relationship. He aint gonna say it. That's just how he is. There isn't anything wrong with that ok?

Star platinum is gonna be a different rant for another time.

#jojos bizarre adventure #self ship #self shipping #self shipping is the only shipping i do #jotaro kujo #i self ship with jotaro kujo 💖🐬#vent meme #f/o asks #look i just love this character ok?#nothing personal but i just also wanted to do the vent asks #warning:vent

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trenchcoatsbi · 2 years ago

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WELCOME TO!! QSMP LORE FUCKING WITH EVERYONE YEIIII /HJ okay, so summary my papa (quackity) kidnapped the federation worker called WAO2 aka fred! due to his hate for the federation since he- well- got fucking kidnapped and stayed under a pool around THREE/TWO MONTHS or something and the federation managed to FUCK UP his memories making him not being able to read or write propertly (even if he does understand what he is writing) example ''JWHGFDSAGHDG'' yeah- plus realizing that he had me and that I am death and the federation took the memories with him- you know? and now he is back, he kinda got kidnapped for a bit again I think and now he is back today and he kidnapped a federation worker since he is angry he is angry at the federation and angry at Tubbo interacting with a federation worker and sees him as a traitor because he wants to prevent the others getting hurt like he was AND especially because for all the shit the federation put him through is very fucked up and I know that and yet I want to hug him so bad because I understand regardless its like papa bad's situation them both kidnapping federation workers for a purpose because they had been hurt by them and they want answers (papa bad losing his mind after me and dappy got kidnapped and my papa because of the federation fucking him up testing on him and erasing his memories) especially my papa, he had isolated himself from everyone after my death people had distrusted him so much and he was always so lonely his quote after falsely marrying a picture of pa' wilbur on festa junina being ''why don't I feel anything. . . ? why don't I feel anything. . ??'' and UGHHH- it makes me so sad people getting mad at him even with a reason because I saw him and I am seeing him right now, I am seeing him getting fucked up over and over and over and getting hurt by these people kidnapping a federation worker is not the right thing and I know it but I cannot get angry at him because I saw because I saw him hurting because I see him hurting because I get his anger is one of the most justified along with papa aypierre's they had been tested by the federation and my papa is unable to escape their grasp they have him wrapped around his finger I- I simply cannot get mad at him because I love him because I know where he is coming from and I feel him because he has been my main focus even before I realized I was his child I just want to hug him, hug fred, hug papa aypierre, hug papa bad, hug tubbo hug everyone because no matter what its the island what has fucked us is the federation who made us miserable and yet I get it and I am willing to forgive no matter what because just like tallulah I want to give love to everyone here because we had been so fucked I think you guys deserve that if any qsmp kins seeing this rant I want to tell you that I love you and you deserve better goodbye! and sorry for the awfully long message

-(cannon divergent llulah anon) Tilin qsmp⭑

oof geez yall are always getting kicked with awful shit :/

For the record I would also do shit like that if I went through what your papa did…

#phil posts #sbi asks #llulah anon #yall really deserve better :(#im still kinsidering from the qsmpstill but like lowkey I straight up hope nothing comes of them #i have enough exotrauma i dont need more and looking at how yall are doing my prospects are not good if i kinfirm

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deadcactuswalking · 7 years ago

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REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 19th August 2018

This is probably just gonna be a bit of a slap-dash episode since I just finished my list of the best and worst hit songs of 1994 and I’m kinda drained, but we’ll still have to get this out so here it is. REVIEWING THE CHARTS for the week of 19th August, 2018.

Top 10

First of all, we have a new #1... but it’s not exactly new at all, since it has been #1 for a few weeks before, it’s just returned to the top spot after it usurped Drake. I’m not mad at all that this is our new #1 – I may not be fond of it, but it’s better than Drake. George Ezra’s “Shotgun” is up one spot to #1.

Speak of the devil; here’s Drake with “In My Feelings” featuring City Girls, down a space to number-two. I hope it stays there, or better yet, decreases even more, although it still has the stronghold over “Shotgun” in streaming.

Not moving from last week at number-three is “No Brainer” by DJ Khaled featuring Justin Bieber, Chance the Rapper and Quavo.

Surprisingly, “Eastside” by benny blanco, Khalid and Halsey has zoomed past competition as it’s increased eight spaces to number-four.

“Rise” by Jonas Blue featuring Jack & Jack has since gone down a single space since the success of “Eastside”, leading it down to number-five.

At number-six, we have a two-space increase for Loud Luxury and brando’s “Body”, which I’m glad is increasing as much as it is, even if it’s just for the fact that they’re both relatively unknown artists.

Oh, yeah, at number-seven, we have “Youngblood” by 5 Seconds of Summer down two spaces.

Unfortunately,”Jackie Chan” by Tiesto and Dzeko featuring Preme and Post Malone has jumped two spaces down to number-eight.

Meanwhile at number-nine, the identical hit has effected “Girls Like You” by Maroon 5 featuring Cardi B, which is ALSO down two spaces.

Thankfully, NOT down two spaces, is “Taste” by Tyga featuring Offset. Not sure how I feel about a pedophile featuring a homophobe having a song (that I personally like) in the top 10 of both the US and UK, but that’s a whole thinkpiece I won’t be writing.

Climbers

Unsurprisingly, there are a few big gains but otherwise nothing of note here. In terms of smaller six-space gains, we (sadly) have “Nevermind” by Dennis Lloyd up to #19 and “Ocean” by Martin Garrix and Khalid up to #25, but we also have an inexplicably massive gain for “079ME” by B Young, up 11 spots to #28. Please don’t let this become a top 20 hit, just for the sake of preventing humanity and society crumbling under your hands. Oh, yeah, and pathetic human being Nicki Minaj had her album Queen release, so naturally “Bed” featuring Ariana Grande (who will also have some gains due to HER album next week) increased up 15 spaces to #23.

Fallers

Naturally, we have two losses for Travis Scott after ASTROWORLD had three tracks debut on the chart last week. “SICKO MODE” featuring Drake and Swae Lee is down six spaces to #15, while “STARGAZING” is, tragically, down 12 to #27. However, there’s only one other loss, and it is just an absolute collapse for “I Like It” by Cardi B featuring Bad Bunny and J Balvin, down 17 spaces to #31. It’ll undoubtedly be out next week, unless people revenge-stream Cardi because of the nonsense Nicki’s been spouting for the past two weeks, I don’t know. That probably won’t happen but it’d be kind of funny to see Nicki not get the #1 album after how desperate she was, and then have her “rival” succeed, though pitting female rappers against each other is borderline sexist and does not help normalise females in a more-often-than-not male-dominated genre, which is something Nicki could actually learn from... Huh. Anyway, this isn’t a Nicki Minaj roast, she has a new entry so I think I’ll rant about her there.

Dropouts

Well, we have a few utterly demolished tracks that dropped out this week, like “Butterflies” by AJ Tracey and Not3s now out from #22, “Oh My” by Dappy featuring Ay Em struggling as it’s been kicked out from #27, and “CAROUSEL” by Travis Scott featuring Frank Ocean being pushed out from #29, but that’s it, and there’s no Returning Entries either, so welcome back to:

The Ed Sheeran Update!

“Perfect” is down only a single space to #61, and “Shape of You” is up a single space to #76, somehow. Can these just go away, please?

Now to the part all three of you were waiting for...

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “When I Kissed the Teacher” – Lily James, Jessica Keenan Wynn, Alexa Davies and Celia Imrie

You probably shouldn’t be doing that.

Anyways, this is an ABBA cover, straight out of the hit musical Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again, which I actually checked out because, my, my, how could I resist it? Well, it’s okay, not particularly my thing, but definitely watchable, however I am surprised that it took this long for a song to get into the top 40. Let me preface this by saying I strongly dislike the ABBA version, mostly because of the... interesting vocals and how everything feels so manufactured and pretty sickeningly sweet, which is incredibly unfitting for the subject matter. I don’t like the song at all, but I’d recommend “Scandalous Scholastics” by Gym Class Heroes for a better take on a student-teacher affair. It’s a pretty awful track but at least it’s a bit groovier and has some darker swagger, as well as an eerie yet catchy chorus, which is actually pretty creepy in some way, especially that it’s implied that 1.) they had sex, 2.) Travie McCoy, the singer, is still in school. He gets into some detail and the charismatic “so sexy!” ad-lib I know Travie for... yeah, well, this is the only time it should not be there, in fact, do NOT check out that song, what am I talking about? It’s horrible.

This cover, though, is somehow even worse. I don’t know who’s singing at what points because, honestly, who cares? Nevertheless, the instrumentation is cookie-cutter yet still over-processed so that it drowns out the singers, who try to belt and struggle, with some not-at-all subtle multi-tracking from seemingly better singers that isn’t helpful at all. I do like that they have more charisma for the most part, making the admittedly funny geometry line sound so much better, and I do appreciate the fact that there are female singers talking about a female teacher – now, that’s cool – although it doesn’t really make much sense in the context of the film, at all, because I’m pretty sure they all have male love interests. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m not sure if your teacher is the best to experiment with, Lily.

#37 – “Don’t Leave Me Alone” – David Guetta featuring Anne-Marie

David Guetta, okay, you’re cool, you’re fine, I like you. Anne-Marie, nope, go away, please. I liked her in “FRIENDS”, initially, but, man, she can definitely become pretty insufferable. Don’t get me wrong, she’s a good singer, but the attitude and forced faux-Jamaican inflections rub me the wrong way. You know what else rubs me the wrong way? How the beginning of the song sounds like stock Windows-activating sound effects. It sounds like it’s a buffering loading screen for God’s sake. Regardless, Anne-Marie sounds okay and I do like the subtle touch of the guitars and especially the piano chords under Anne-Marie and I believe Ed Sheeran harmonising in the pre-chorus, right before a pretty cool Vocaloid drop. I have really grown to love these things, as you can probably tell from my “Solo” review, and this was am especially great one, because the autotune is turned up to insane levels and the vocals sound like they’re stretched and manipulated over the hard-hitting but pleasant synth tones. The combination of the drop and some of the vocal chops with the pre-chorus melody is just fantastic. I can look past the flat production in the verses if that chorus is as incredible as it is. Damn, that surprised me. David Guetta, you win again, and I’m excited for your upcoming album.

#36 – “Barbie Dreams” – Nicki Minaj

Okay, let’s get this over with. This track caused a lot of buzz because it’s basically a tribute to a Notorious B.I.G. song full of light-hearted disses torwards people who she is friends with, and you know, I like a bit of pointless rap beef and some disses can be pretty fire even if they are completely uncalled for. I mean, I prefer hard-hitting, absolutely awful personal disses like when Pusha T slaughtered Drake and held his decapitated head over a building in “The Story of Adidon”, but I like a bit of light-hearted no-harassment-intended jabs so, let’s see what she’s got.

Well, first of all, I love the slick beat and her flow is pretty nice too. Too bad it’s all taken from “Just Playing (Dreams)” by Biggie. This is a remix then? Okay, well, you didn’t preface it as such, but that’s fine, using someone else’s beat isn’t bad as long as you spit some nice bars over it. So, what’s the “Queen of Rap” got for us? Well, she starts with some complements... yep, she just says she wants a man to settle down and have some kids, and either them or the man will look like Lil Wayne or Dave East, but they’re already fathers, so I’m assuming she wants a man who is as good of a dad as Wayne and Dave are to their kids. That’s a very nice thing to say.

Man, I ain’t got no type like Jxmmi and Swae Lee

Okay, but the song you’re referencing by Rae Sremmurd, “No Type”, makes it pretty clear that they’re joking when they say they don’t have a type, given by how they immediately contradict that statement?

I ain’t got no type / Bad b****es is the only thing that I like – Swae Lee, “No Type”

Oh, they’ve actually tried to argue that “bad b****es” are NOT a type? Okay, well, then, secondly: That’s not a diss, that’s just mentioning them in passing.

Then she gets into some admittedly funny (and probably true) disses to 50 Cent, making some nice wordplay with other members of G-Unit like Tony Yayo and Lloyd Banks. That’s all fine and dandy. Then she mentions Karreuche Tran... Tran... Tran...

Used to f*** with Young Thug, I ain’t addressin’ this s**t / C-caught him in my dressing room, stealing dresses and s**t

Okay, well, that’s insensitive and incredibly uncalled for. If the dude wants to reject typical gender norms, more power to him, but Thugger, you probably shouldn’t be stealing her dresses, man, and I’m pretty sure this is related to that, and is no way meant to be offensive or transphobic.

They switchin’ like sissies now – Nicki Minaj, “Majesty”

On the same album? Uh, I mean, well, okay, but maybe that’s also misinterpreted...

First they love you, then they switch / Yeah,they switch like f****ts

Yeah, okay, 1.) I’m not uncensoring that word, you know what it is, and 2.) Yikes, Nicki! I know that was back in 2009 but these recent lines prove you haven’t changed, in fact, all of these recent antics prove you haven’t changed, at all! You collaborate with a pedophile, then you try and play the feminist angle – after collaborating with an absolute scumbag who respects women as much as a tampon made out of bricks – to explain why your album didn’t get to #1, although it still sold pretty well, even though you don’t label yourself as a feminist as you’ve stated before. In fact, this whole track is just to stir up controversy and attention, isn’t it? You wanted that #1 album so desperately that you added a song that’s not even by you to your album, then you put out a lot of trash merch, some of which was promoting 6ix9ine, all of which came with a copy of your album, made JAY-Z give you a discount code on TIDAL that literally gave the album away for free, however, due to a faulty system, made all albums on TIDAL free to download, probably causing serious financial issues in the future for Jay, leading to him having to release the rest of Prince’s discography onto Spotify (not necessarily a bad thing), and reported fake news when you were projected to sell 190,000, only to be proved to sell less when the final numbers were released, all for a #1 album, which you only wanted out of spite for Cardi being more successful than you, because, I don’t know, she’s not an absolutely trash human being who doesn’t know how to promote a damn album? I guess you could say the TIDAL issue wasn’t her fault, but, yes, it was, as if it wasn’t for her own desperate need for a #1, the code wouldn’t exist at all. At least that’s only one line, right? She doesn’t cross the line otherwise.

Shout-out Desiigner ‘cause he made it out of special ed

You called a man struggling to hold onto his crippling career which is still under the hands of Pusha T’s mismanagement, being forced to constantly promote himself because his label definitely isn’t, who’s probably in debt right now, and just desperately trying to pick up the pieces to still live while doing what he wants to do – music, trapped under a label that doesn’t let him succeed, who released a better and more consistent EP this year than any project you’ve ever put out, retarded because of the energy he puts into his songs, which you, missy, are severely lacking in, despite the fact that your mentor and person you want your husband to be like, Lil Wayne, was in the same dire situation for nearly a decade, and you and Drake have been carrying him and helping him still strive in the industry while he’s being trampled on and confined by the tyrant of a label owner Birdman? Yeah, nope, not having it, you’ve lost all my respect, Nicki. I don’t usually focus on lyrics as much as I did here but when they’re this ignorant and disgusting, I think I’ll stream Cardi instead, you petty, little child.

Conclusion

“Don’t Leave Me Alone” easily gives David Guetta and Anne-Marie the title of Best of the Week, as Nicki Minaj takes Worst of the Week for “Barbie Dreams”. Hopefully I’ll have calmed down by next time. See ya!

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splanana-bitz · 1 year ago

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WW Normal Album Analysis (pt. 4(?)) 💜

Back at it again, people!

I've been wanting to do this again for a while, since I haven't in actual months. And since @interfacefox 's request won, here I am again because even after almost a year of liking Will's music, my fixation refuses to cease.

If you know what's going on, then you know my whole normal album theory, but if not, here's a link to my last few posts where I analyzed the normal album and puked my thoughts out for people to see:

- Part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/dappydaffer/733190401716027392/this-rant-im-about-to-go-on-will-probably-not?source=share

- Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/dappydaffer/733737259322474496/ww-normal-album-analysis-pt-2?source=share

- Part 3: https://www.tumblr.com/dappydaffer/734550698381950976/ww-normal-album-analysis-pt-3?source=share

• • • • • • • • • •

I'm not only doing this because of interface, but this is a song I have been itching to do for a while, despite how lengthy/complex it seems, and the song I'm going to be analyzing is...

Black Box Warrior

(I am, however, splitting this up into parts. This shit is waaaay too much for me to analyze in one sitting, so you get the chorus and first (maybe couple) of verses for now-)

• • • • • • • • • •

Although I've heard the song was simply just a challenge for Will lyrically and musically, there is a theory I strongly believe about this song, and that it's an allusion/reference to the illegal human experimentation program, MKUltra, which started in 1953, and continued until 1973. The experiment itself was run and designed by the CIA and its sole purpose was to test means of psychological torture, effects of drugs, and even brainwashing in order to force confessions out of people.

(I mean, hell, even the title is a spinoff name of the experiment itself - "OKULTRA-")

(Read more about it here, it is genuinely interesting as hell: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MKUltra)

• • • • • • • • • •

In bits and pieces throughout the song, starting with the first verse, the lyrics have convinced me the song is either a doctor describing the horrid side effects a now-deceased patient endured due to the means of getting confessions out of them, or an unknown narrator is making it seem like the victim/patient's side effects was this nonsensical, psychedelic adventure, when it reality, it was far much worse.

Lyrics that either allude to the side effects or hint at this possibility at all within the first verse and chorus include:

"Trojan Horse'd his blood brain barrier and raised the LD-50.."

I belive the trojan horse invading the "brain barrier" is a metaphor relating to the obliviousness of this particular victim, or MKUltra patients in general, to the psychologically damaging actions being inflicted on them, and the effects they are yet to bring on them. The trojan horse tale tells of greek invaders successfully tricking the Trojans into letting them in, making it seem as if a giant wooden horse were a gift. The victim could also be seeing, or being told so by doctors inflicting them, that these experiments are for the greater good, when it really is just a heap of psychological torture and abuse in disguise, slowly and surely going to attack and seep in once it gets past the patient's defenses. Instead of immeadiately attacking, I believe that's where the LD-50 part of the metaphor kicks in. LD-50 is a term that refers to the amount of chemicals given, which causes 50% of the deaths in a group of test animals (usually before releasing the chemical to public) - Not only does this imply that patients are simply just treated like disposable test objects before they officially solidify these means of interrogation/testing as part of the criminal justice system, but it also shows that once the patient's defenses are downed/weakened, the LD-50 (lethal dose) can be further pushed to see how far the testing can go until the patient confesses or succumbs to the side-effects of the torture.

"- the Black Box Warrior, He skipped this town and headed straight down history-"

While I'm certain black box could be a reference to something else, I believe it not only refers to how CIA Director, Richard Helm ordered evidence of the project to be destroyed before the public was informed about it in 1975, but also alludes to how it adds confidentiality to the patient being referred to and personifies him as a stastistic or another case to destroy and rid of in the eyes of those in charge. Him "heading straight down history" could also be an allusion to how he simply just forgotten and/or killed off so easily and quickly, joining others who passed, and waiting for new patients to join him who will only get treated the same as he did, due to the abuse and effects inflicted by doctors.

"Roman candles at both ends in his synapses"

Burning both ends of the candle is a common phrase that exaggerates or tells that oneself is overworking or doing too much or burning themselves out, etc. Whilst synapses are spaces between cells that transmit nervous impulse (correct me if I am wrong). The patient in question having roman candles at both ends of their synapses is what I believe to be physical sensory overload or the "LD-50 being raised" far too high to the point of his nervous system going haywire. LSD was a common psychoactive drug used in MKUltra and when one takes LSD, the nervous system can be/is heavily effected (depending on how heavy the dosage) and from what science can conclude; since synapses, a part of the nervous system, facillitate communication between neurons via transmission of signals in neurotransmitter forms, and therefore play vital roles in the brain functioning properly (perception, memory, emotions, etc.), burning metaphorical roman candles at the ends of this patients' synapses implies that a scary, damn near lethal dose of LSD has been injected into the patient by doctors working for MKUltra.

"Shields himself from reason in a Kevlar baby-blue Tuxedo"

I believe here the song is panning to the doctor and a 3rd person point of view of what his intentions/thoughts are. Scrubs that doctors wear are typically a shade of "baby-blue," and kevlar is a material commonly used in bullet proof vests. With the doctor wearing a metaphorical baby-blue bulletproof vest, it could symbolize that the doctor may have a heart to at least barely acknowledge that what he is doing is wrong, however, it is his job to do so for the project, therefore he may be rationalizing and hiding behind his status as a doctor (hence the tuxedo metaphor, as I view tuxedos as a sign of high social/financial status) in order to dodge the bullet of actual reason (hence, the kevlar reference).

"If it was going to kill you boy, it would have by now / There's no more looking back, it's looking up or looking down"

This piece of the chorus really feels like a "ride or die" statement towards the alleged patient. The song (or what I assume is the doctor) almost mockingly, or non-chalantly tells the patient that despite everything he has been put through, it wasn't enough to kill him and even though they have far enough pushed him past his physical and mental limit, he (the doctor) almost encourages this patient to continue on and comply with their experiments. This really shines a light on how little regard the higher ups of this program beared for the victims that were unfortunately involved. As for "looking up or looking down," I believe it is the doctor still telling the patient to continue on, until he dies, and either looks "up" to heaven, or "down" at hell. There truly is no more going back. The patient has to keep pushing and not only burn both ends of his synapses with the aforementioned metaphorical roman candles, he has to burn himself out physically and mentally until his body gives into the effects of the torture and LSD.

• • • • • • • • • •

Thank you for coming to my TED talk....holy shit, that took way too long-

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this, and if you have your own Black Box Warrior/Normal Album/Will Wood theory, I'd love to hear them.

I promise I will add more to this analysis with a part 2, however, I may do other WW songs in between that time =)

• • • • • • • • • •

#my hands are in agony #the brainrot is real #will wood #will wood and the tapeworms #the normal album #black box warrior #will wood analysis #“is this shit enough proof for you?”#dappy rants #music analysis

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