#dear cob help me

[justasecretflower]

🤍- ouran host club with a Pregnant! S/o

Characters are all older.

Ouran! High school host club

~fluff.

Honey Senpai🍰

- He’s so sweet with you!

- you guys eat cake with each other 24/7

- offers to carry you everywhere if your feet hurt, he’s insanely strong and can lift you up easily.

- gets you all of your cravings.

- lets you hold his bunny when you have mood swings💕

- gets the baby their own bunny before they’re born with the name you picked embroidered on the ear.

- when you cry, he cries.

- you’re crying because you can’t have a craving? So is he, you’re crying because you just saw a video of a baby seal? So is he, you’re crying because you love the baby you haven’t even met yet? So is he, also he’s holding onto the ultrasound with a death grip

- speaks to your belly alllll the time like atp if people are around him they’d think an actual, real adult was speaking to him he’s so engaged in the little conversations with your belly.

“Hmm should we have strawberry or coconut cake first baby…let’s choose both!”

“You know I’ve been so excited to meet you, me and your momma. Look! Here’s a picture of you!” As he shows your belly and ultrasound

“Good morning baby, how are we feeling today?”

“Goodnight baby! Dont give your mommy a hard time this night alright?” He would whisper, kissing your belly goodnight with a bright smile.

- if someone makes you cry or feel insecure about having a big belly he just gives them a look and they run away.

-cries when he sees the tiny baby clothes.

Tamaki Suoh 🌹

- he’s so dramatic 🙄ughhh

- “are your feet tired my love?! You’ve walked 20 minutes already today! Your feet must hurt my baby must be kicking in there ready to rest!”

“Someone get my darling a foot massage and a back massage spa day booked right now please! She must be hurting all over!”

- he’s making sure you don’t move an inch.

- knows more about what you should and should not do pregnant more than you do?

- gets all of your cravings x10. Like, you want some corn? Suddenly, there’s fried corn, corn on the cob, corn off the cob, creamed corn, popcorn, corn and beans, corn on some mashed potatoes. Everywhere, and you best bet they’re the best corn that they could possibly get.

- he finds your bump so cute, you have new maternity pictures every month with a new theme he puts on the wall blown up in size.

- girl dad. Just saying…

- sometimes he just randomly stops his whole charming prince act, gets on his knees and hugs your bump, sighing in contentment.

- spoils the baby rotten before they’re even here.

Kyoya Ootori

-now..you’re not gonna like this but he’s a little disconnected to the child until he meets them irl.

- like, he just finds the kid a tiny bump on his wife’s belly.

-sometimes, you’ll catch him staring at the ultrasound, tracing the outline of the baby carefully.

- he hates getting woken up, but if you’re sick in the middle of the night he’s immediately at your side rubbing your back and asking for some staff to help.

- researches about all of your symptoms, cravings, mood swings, what happens to the body during pregnancy and during the after math in postpartum.

- already has a therapist and a calm down room for you if you get ppd or ppr so that you can simply feel at peace.

-he cares more about you ngl.

“My dear no- you can’t deli meat like that it’s highly risky for salmonella. Put it back now.”

Kaoru Hitachiin

- cries so hard when you found out. Just fell to his knees and started crying.

- he’s more open about his feelings, much softer than his brother, so he’ll talk to the bump and tell you everything he’s feeling, asking in turn how you’re feeling as well and if you need anything.

- very very understanding of your pain.

“I know, I know, you’ll be okay, I understand that it hurts right now though”

“Hey we’ll get through this, what do you need right now?”

When you throw up or are having severe back and feet pains.

- doesn’t let anybody comment or joke about your belly if it makes you insecure. He kisses it and tells you how much he loves you and your belly.

Hikaru Hitachiin

- you’ve never seen him so serious in your entire life.

-it’s like he’s a different person?,.

- he’s extra careful, makes sure you’re protected and feel safe.

-he jokes with you when you feel like you’re in pain or when you’re throwing up to make you feel better.

- finds you absolutely radient when pregnant lemme say..

“It’s so small!” When holding up baby clothes.

- puts his headphones on your belly to have your baby listen to music.

- when you try to do anything that you used to do like play fight or pillow fights he’ll barely even use strength.

“Come on Hikaru you seriously can’t even aim for me anymore?”

“I was! It just went the other way!”

“Hikaru it’s in the bathroom toilet.”

- keeps the ultrasound in his wallet.

Takashi Morinozuka

- 100% your #1 protector

- you’re not lifting a finger near anything that’s easily breakable or that can hurt you.

- one of the times you saw him break the non chalent act is when you first saw the ultrasound. He took a breath in and his eyes lightly lit up

- you’re never on the ground. Like, he’s always carrying you everywhere..

“Mori i can walk you know.”

Mori- “😒…”

- loves to feel the baby kick! He will literally sprint over to you if you say that the baby is kicking

“Mori do you think I’m fat?”

“No.”

“You😭definitely 😭 do😭”

“😟…”

Cuddles, cuddles, cuddles, he cannot get OFF OF YOU!!

- spooning you, he’s big spoon ofc, hugging you from behind, having your legs wrapped around his waist, carrying you bridal style.

Ritsu Kasanoda

-sobbed when he found out you were pregnant

-he’s such a softie like

- he crotchets the baby plushies

- gets the baby blankets, pillows, stuff for their wall, so much stuff, so many toys…

- when he smiles the biggest is when he’s leaning his head on your belly and stroking it gently, talking to the little one inside.

- constantly worried about what’s good or bad for you.

- “hi honey, how’re you feeling today?”

“My precious baby inside of this belly.”

“I’d burn the world for you and I haven’t even met you yet precious baby.”

-his staff is terrified, if they make even the slightest comment about your belly negatively.

-if someone does certainly they’re a rookie because nobody from his syndicate would say that.

- sobs when he goes to ultrasounds with you.

- reads parenting books. Tries to. He can’t focus for that long but when he can he’s reading parenting books.

need requests so bad

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[friendly-books]

Side Jobs live blog

Side Jobs

A restoration of faith 

“The kid lifted up her Oxford shoes and mule-kicked her leg back in my shin.” pg. 2 Ha I love this kid already 

“I’m up on North Avenue, and it’s after dark. I’m not leaving a nine-year-old girl out here by  herself.” pg. 3 That’s a good way for the kid to be ACTUALLY KIDNAPPED 

“What happened to your car?”

“Broke down this afternoon.” pg. 4 The Blue Beetle mention!

“It belongs on the set of El Dorando,” she snapped” pg. 5 Ha 

“Sucker,” she called back, her voice merry.” pg. 7 Ha I love this kid so much spunk 

Oh no a troll

Poor kid with neglectful parents 

“A ten-year-old girl’s world should be full of music and giggling and notes and dolls and dreams-not harsh, barren, jaded reality.” pg. 13 Did Maggie have this? Before the Red Court Did Harry have this before his dad died? 

“Her eyes were bright with excitement. “That was the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen. I want to be a wizard when I grow up.” pg. 22 Ha

“Hey thanks a lot of help, Officer”-I squinted down at her badge “Murphy.” pg. 22 Murphy! Holy cow Murphy attacks a troll. So cool

Vignette 

“I have nightmares about Hell, where all I do is add up numbers and try to have conversations with people like you.” pg. 28 Ha 

“Yeah. Advertising is all about lying” pg. 29 Ha and Bob’s not wrong

“You suck at lying, Harry. You really do.” pg. 29 Ha and yeah Harry isn’t great at lying 

“Why do you do it?

I squinted up at the skull. “Because someone has to” pg. 30 Yep

Something Borrowed 

“Oh for crying out loud, Dresden.” Billy said, his tone amused. “He’s just fitting the tux” pg. 32 Ha 

Poor Kirby 

“For one thing, this” she said, flicking a hand at me. Then she gave me a second, more evaluating look” pg. 37 Rude

“Billy put his face in his hands” pg. 39 Ha

“Once my mouth was open and my lips stared moving, it was pretty much inevitable.” pg. 40 Ha

“Don’t get paranoid Harry” pg. 42 Given Harry’s life I feel like he should be more paranoid 

Oh no the apartment 

Oh dear Bob and Murphy meet 

Oh no Faeries 

“A faerie has taken her place” pg. 49 Oh no

“THE WORST THING about being a wizard is all the presumption; people’s expectations.” pg. 51 That’s the worst thing?!? Really? 

“I keep meaning to go back and fix that, but there’s never time

I had a marriage like that” pg. 52 Ha and which one?

“That’s why you have to be careful what you choose to Look at. I don’t like doing it, ever. You never know what it is you’ll See.” pg. 58 Harry knows that well

“I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me: It was a battle cry” pg. 59 Ha 

The trust Murphy has to run into the fire

The pure force bridge is cool

Good thinking with the sprinklers 

“Jenny Greenteeth would kill Murphy too” pg. 81 Oh no wait why am I oh no-ing I know Murph is going to be fine 

“The next thing I knew, I was smashing my blasting rod down into Jenny Greenteeth, screaming incoherently and pounding as hard as I could.” pg. 82 Protective Harry 

“For one second, for one teeny tiny instant, I felt her mouth move. I felt her head tilt, her lips soften, and my oh-so-professional CPR-just for a second, mind you-felt almost, almost like a kiss.” pg. 84 No that’s not how CPR works 

It’s my birthday too

“I mean, you didn’t get my dad one, and you’re friends with him” pg. 91 Harry get your friends birthday gifts 

“I’ve seen you two fight.” She lifted both pale eyebrows. “What? Have you seen how many brother and sisters I have? I know my siblings conflicts?” pg. 91 Ha

Oh no Thomas is in trouble no wait nevermind 

I can’t tell if Harry would like LARP 

“If you weren’t my brother, I’d probably tell you that you have some awfully nerdy hobbies” pg. 104 Ha and pot meet kettle 

Oh no Molly 

“The streetlights just went out” pg. 110 Oh no 

“And then it went dead, along with the lights, the music playing on the speakers, and the constant blowing sigh of the heating system.” pg. 111 Oh no

Oh no Black Court 

I love the Cobbs 

Cool gravity spell

Nice job with the garlic 

“First, anytime I’m not shooting my mouth off to a cliched, two-bit creature of the night like you, it’s because I’m up to something.” pg. 145 Ha

“Right after my dad died, they put me in an orphanage. It was Christmas time. On the television, they had a commercials for Rock’em Sock’em Robots. Two kids playing with them, you know? Two brothers” I shrugged. “That was a year when I really, really wanted to give those stupid plastic robots to my brother.”

“Because it would mean weren’t alone.” Thomas said quietly 

“Yeah” I said “Sorry I forgot them. And happy birthday.” 

He glanced back at the burning mall.

“Well,” my brother said, “I suppose it’s the thought that counts.” pg. 148 Aw my heart 

Heorot 

Gard and Harry bonding moments let’s go!

“Just basking in the glow of your compassion, Officer.” pg. 154 Ha 

Caine is terrible 

“I glowered at him. I’m not sure I could take it if my dog was smarter than me.” pg. 164 Ha

Caine starts a fight let’s see who wins 

It’s just beer Caine needs to chill 

“Marcone is behind this? That son of a bitch is going to be sorry he ever looked at that-“ 

pg. 169 Harry you should know Marcone better than that. 

Also Marcone mention!

“Me and polite have never been on close term.” pg. 179 Ha

“It hunts in the wizard’s territory. The wizard will come to face it. The Erkling will give us great favor when we bring the wizards head.” 

“Gosh. I felt famous” pg. 186 Ha 

“Enough talk” pg. 189 Gard is going into a rage fun 

Gard is a Valkyrie cool

“Then she leaned down and kissed me on the mouth.” pg. 209 Whoa 

Day off

Aw Harry’s playing D&D with the alphas 

“Again with this decision.” Andi sighed “I mean I know he’s the actual wizard and all, but Christ.” pg. 212 Ha

“Sorry about your wraith, there, Darth Wannabe.” pg. 218 Ha

“I’m a-fixin to defend myself” I drawled, Texas-style.” pg. 218 Ha 

“Molly,” I said, trying to be polite, “I can’t stand the sight of you. Go away.” pg. 222 Ha

An explosion happened and Harry didn’t cause it shocking I’m shocked 

Kirby and Andi have fleas ha

“Mister the cat, appeared exactly as he always did” pg. 228 So cool

“Andi. Please don’t tell me that you and Kirby have been getting down while you were fuzzy” pg. 230 Why would they do that?

Molly set the lab on fire she’s taking after Harry 

“At least it couldn’t get any worse.” pg. 233 Harry you know better than to say that 

What a mess Harry shouldn’t take a day off.

Backup

Oh Thomas narrating 

“He’s Gandalf on crack and an IV of Red Bull” pg. 241 Ha 

“He’ll spit in the eye of gods and demons alike if he thinks it needs to be done.” pg. 241 Yeah that’s Harry alright 

“My name is Thomas Raith and I’m a monster” pg. 242 No Thomas you’re not a monster :(

So there’s a secret Oblivion war going on 

Lara people aren’t pets 

The Hunger is terrifying 

Justine!

Oh no Harry’s in trouble

Thomas can do magic!!! 

“He’ll whip out some kind of half-divine, half-insane philosophy cobbled together from the words of saints and comic books about the importance of handling power responsibly.” pg. 258 Yep 

“Harry’s a master of the skill-as in simultaneous doctorates from MIT, Harvard, and Yale and a masters from Oxford.” pg. 258 It’s interesting to see other people’s perspective and opinions on Harry 

“Locks, though, never seemed to pose a much of an obstacle to my brother.” pg. 261 Ha

“Harry had occasionally accused me of being reckless and overconfident-which is, believe me, staggering magnitude.” pg. 267 Ha 

“He’d turned into a neat freak a few years ago, for some reason, though he’d never talked about why.” pg. 269 Ha 

“It’s a little bit creepy, actually. My brother’s got a voodoo doll of the entire town.” pg. 270 Ha

“I think that genuinely speaking, you don’t have secrets from your brother, man.” pg. 272 Yep unless you count the whole I didn’t tell you were brothers for awhile bit. 

“Bob made a whistle sound.

What the hell? How? He doesn’t have lips?” pg. 275 Ha 

The Oblivion War is scary 

Aw Bob is protecting Harry 

“Scratch one ghoul. My brother hates ghouls with a passion so pure it’s almost holy.” pg. 283 Yep it’s we deserved 

“But the bitch had messed with my brother.” pg. 285 Protective Thomas 

Thomas just feed the bad girl to his hunger 

“Sometimes I feel completely unappreciated.”

I found myself smiling 

“Wow” I said “what’s it like?” pg. 291 Ha

The Warrior 

Aw Michael’s a coach 

“I’m pretty sure there won’t ever be a place like that for me.” pg. 297 Aw Harry :( you’ll get a family home soon 

“She had a bruise on her cheek a couple of days old.” pg. 299 Oh no why does the kid have a bruise on her face? 

“Hi” I said, trying to be unthreatening as I could. I had limited success. Tall, severe-looking men in long black coats who need a shave are challenged that way.” pg. 299 Poor Harry

I love Harry interacting with Michael and Charity’s kids 

“Let me poke around and shine a light on things, so we know what’s going on. If it turns out to be nothing, no harm done.”

“And if it isn’t?” Charity asked 

“I kept a surge of quiet anger out of my voice and expression as I looked at her levelly. “No harm gets done to you and yours.” pg. 304 Yes protective Harry 

“It’d take one he-uh, heck of a serious counter measure to stop me from finding it.” pg. 311 Ha 

“I didn’t want to go off and leave…”

You 

“The sword…”

Unprotected 

“Here” I finished” pg. 311 Just your friends you’re worried about them Harry 

I don’t think Chuck should be drunk and working especially if he’s a electrician 

“I’ve been in burning buildings, man, and take it from me, this place…” I looked around at the wooden framework. “Fwoosh. I’m just saying Fwoosh.” pg. 321 Ha and you definitely caused those building fires Harry 

“Harry Dresden. Saving the world, one act of random destruction at a time.” pg. 322 Ha

“I don’t blame myself,” I said.” pg. 324 That’s the biggest bold faced lie I’ve ever seen. 

Yes you do Harry 

Butters! 

Oh someone in the church is behind it. A Fundamentalist maybe? 

“Watching life through the window and obsessed with how things might have been”

“Dear God,” she said. “You’ve just made Dickens relevant to my life.” 

“Weird, right?” pg. 341 Ha 

Oh no Alicia 

��The son of a bitch hurt my little girl.” pg. 352 Holy Cow Michael swore! :0 

Yes Michael vs Douglass 

“Michael,” I said, gently, “you can’t. If this is how it has to be, I’ll do it. But you can’t, man.” pg. 366 Is Harry saying he’s willing to murder so long as Micheal doesn’t 

Uriel’s here 

“Very kind,” he said and took a swig from the flask.” pg. 368 Uriel drinking alcohol 

I love how Uriel tells Harry how all the little things he did helped. 

“I nodded slowly. Then I said, “Let’s talk about my bill”

Jake eyebrows shot up “What?” 

“My bill,” I enunciated. “You dragged me into this mess. You can pay me, same as any other client. Where do I send the invoice?” 

“You’re…you’re trying to bill the Lard Almighty?” Jake said, as if he couldn’t quite believe it.

“Hel-uh, heck no,” I said. “I’m billing you.” 

“That isn’t really how we work” 

“It is if you want to work with me,” I told him, thrusting out my jaw. “Cough up. Otherwise, maybe next time I’ll just stand around whistling when you want me to help you out.”

Jake’s face broadened into a wide, merry grin, and laughter filled his voice. “No, you won’t” he said, and, vanished.” pg. 373 Ha and yes Harry won’t not help people 

Last Call 

Oh no Mac is hurt 

Oh no someone’s messed with Mac’s beer

Caine? Again? What is this guys problem?

Caine is the worst 

Caine attacked Murphy critical fail on Caine’s part 

“You put on a good show act, Harry. It would have fooled a lot of people. It looked…”

“Natural on me,” I said “Yeah” pg. 394 Ouch 

“I tried the door, just for the hell of it and-

It opened 

Well, dammit. I much prefer making a dramatic entrance.” pg. 420 Ha and come on let Harry have his dramatic entrance 

Oh Dionysus cool

“Then she smiled, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed my cheek” pg. 419 Aw 

Love hurts 

“They weren’t a married couple. They were brother and sister.” pg. 423 Ick doesn’t even begin to cover the feeling I felt reading that

Oh no mental magic

“We don’t exactly have orbital satellites for detecting black magic.” pg. 426 They don’t? Then what does Gatekeeper do? I thought that was his job. How did the council find out about Harry, Justin, and Molly? Gatekeeper clearly knew black magic was afoot back in Proven Guilty. 

Oh boy is it awkward between Harry and Luccio 

Evil state fair?

Don’t be mad at Will, Harry he’s concerned about you. 

“She stopped before she could say who Kincaid was like.” pg. 436 Was she going to say Harry? 

“Murph tittered again” pg. 443 Oh no they’ve been caught 

Is it the ride itself? The ride operator? The guy trailing them? 

“I bent my head down to her mouth and kissed her gently.” pg. 445 Yay Harry/Murph moment but now isn’t the time 

“It just isn’t fucked-up enough to really be you and me” pg. 447 Ha I love this is how they realize that they’ve been whammied 

“But hey. On the other hand, he had swindled me out of swindle me out of twenty dollars.” pg. 448 Harry you bribed him 

Oh no Red court vampire 

“He’s completely irrational” pg. 452 Ha

“Mortals are like mayflies, Wizard. They live a brief time, and then they are gone.” pg. 455 Scary how some immortals view humans

I’m glad Harry and Murphy burned the belt. 

Aftermath 

“I cant believe he’s died.” pg. 463 I’m still not over it. 

“I’d been able to learn a few Martian phrases over time” pg. 466 Ha 

“Lake Michigan is jealous and protective of her dead.” pg. 466 Such a good phrase 

Poor Murphy she’s not a cop anymore and now has to deal with Harry dying 

“He always told us if we ever needed him but couldn’t find him, we were supposed to go to you. That you were the person in this city who could help us better than anyone else.” pg. 475 Aw :) 

“Georgia’s pregnant” he whispered. “Seven months.” pg. 475 Yay Georgia’s pregnant nothing bad is going to happen to her or the baby. I refuse to believe it.

“And, if things got hot when we went after the bad guy, he would have been there, throwing fire and lighting around as if they were his own personal toys, created especially and exclusively for him to play with.” pg. 485 I love how other people describe Harry. It shows how Harry is viewed through mortal eyes. Yeah it would appear like Harry like that when he starts setting things on fire with his mind essentially. 

“Watching Dresden operate was usually one of two things: mildly amusing and positively terrifying.” pg. 485 That’s quite a difference 

“Quirky nerd gone. Terrifying icon, present.” pg. 486 I wonder if Harry knows this is how people view him? I wonder if Harry knows this is how Murphy views him. 

“Seeing Dresden in action filled you with the fear that you had just become a casualty of evolution-that you were watching something far larger and infinitely more dangerous than yourself, and that your only chance of survival  was to kill it, immediately, before you were crushed beneath a power greater than you would ever know.” pg. 487 Scary and such a good quote 

“Dresden was gone. His cheesy jokes and his corny sense of humor were gone. His ability to know the unknowable, to fight the unfightable, to find the unfindable, was gone.

The rest of us were just going to have carry on as best we could without him.” pg. 488 Sobbing 

“On the other hand…maybe I just give John Marcone a call and tell him how you’re helping  some of his street-level guys run some deals behind his back.” pg. 498 Marcone mentioned! 

Hendricks!

“I had to go see “Gentleman” John Marcone.” pg. 501 YES! Let’s go Marcone :) 

“He had eyes the color of several-days-old grass clippings.” pg. 509 Interesting with how Murphy describes Marcone’s eyes vs with how Harry describes them 

“Hendricks eyed Gard 

Gard rolled her eyes and withdrew a twenty-dollar bill from her jacket pocket. She passed it to the big man.” pg. 511 Ha

“Don’t confuse yourself with Mr. Dresden, Mr. Borden,” Marcone said, his voice level and cold. His eyes were something frightening, pitiless. “You don’t have the power to threaten  me. The instant you begin to change, Ms. Gard here will fire in Ms. Murphy-and then upon you.” His voice dropped to a barely audible murmur. “The next time you offer me a threat, I will kill you.” pg. 513 Nshslsbshevakbsn I didn’t learn my lesson from last time. I choked on my drink again when I read it. I think I almost hacked up my lung. Ahhh!!! It’s so bi and Harry’s not even there. Will didn’t even threaten Marcone or at least not as much as Harry usually does. And Marcone throws a knife at him. 

“Someone is rounding up those mortals possessed of modest supernatural gifts.”

“Talent search” pg. 516 Oh no

“Someone started picking up on the little guys in town within a few hours of Dresden’s shooting.” pg. 517 Monsters closing in already 

“I’m sorry. About Dresden. He was a brave man.” pg. 518 Glad Gard said that. 

“That was when we had the nightmares.” pg.528  Ah that’s the psych/bad dreams from the end of Changes.

“Dresden hadn’t been muscled as heavily as Will. Harry’d had a runner’s build, all lean, tight, dense muscle that…” pg. 535 Murphy I see that train of thought. Good Harry/Murphy moment and Harry’s not even there. 

“I mean that if Dresden just blew up the Red Court…that means the status quo is gone. There's a power vacuum, and every spook out there is going to try a fill it. The rules have changed. We don’t know how these people are going to react.” pg. 536 Yep things are going to change now. I can’t wait to see the repercussions 

“The man had gills” pg. 552 There’s fish people? What hole in Lake Michigan did these guys crawl out? Why now after Harry’s death? As far as I know there haven’t been any fish people before. 

Such a good fight 

“Dammit, Dresden,” I said into the silence in a choked voice. “Dammit. Here I am doing your job. Dammit, dammit, dammit.” pg. 576 Sobbing some more 

“That’s formor magic,” she said quietly. “One of their lesser sorcerers and his retainers.” pg. 578 Who’s the formor? 

“This is the second time the formor have attempted to move on Chicago-and failed” 578 When was the first time? 

“My boss is always pleased to find those with proper”-she pursed lips-“frame of mind.” pg. 579 Oh Donar Vadderung/Odin is hiring? Well that’s some foreshadowing

“Was she telling the truth, you think? That Marcone’s the one standing in the gap now?” pg. 582 Yes Marcone will help out in for supernatural threats 

“The Justice League of Chicago?” 

“We’ll cover his beat.”

“Until Dresden gets back.”

“It doesn’t seem to be. But…There’s this voice inside me that keeps pointing out that we haven’t seen a body.” pg. 582 Yes can’t wait for the next book. 

Final thoughts 

I love how the story shows Harry at the beginning and how Harry met Murphy. I loved Faith. I love the interaction between Harry and Bob. I loved Billy and Georgia’s wedding. I love that Thomas being Harry’s brother is the worst kept secret. The Cobbs are wonderful. I love the bonding between Thomas and Harry. I love the Gard and Harry bonding on an adventure. No one messes with Mac’s beer. I love that Harry’s D&D character says Gard’s catchphrase. Gard clearly made an impression. I love Harry playing D&D with the alphas. Harry’s day is frankly a comedy of misadventure. I can’t believe Kirby and Andi got fleas. I’m glad Luccio took the scene well. I love how sarcastic Thomas’s narrative is. I can’t believe Thomas has magic. That’s so cool I wonder why he didn’t tell Harry. I love how much Thomas admires Harry and how protective he is of Harry. I love is how much Harry helps people without meaning to. I love that Michael is Alicia's softball coach. I can’t believe Michael swore that’s such a big deal. I can’t believe Harry offered to kill a man so Michael wouldn’t. I love that Uriel tells Harry all the lives he has helped. It’s hilarious that Harry tried to bill Uriel only Harry would try to do that. I love that even Uriel knows Harry won’t stop helping people. Wow Mac gets attacked. Interesting to see other powerful characters from other patrons. So now the Greek and Norse gods are real in this world. I wonder what others? All others? Jim just giving us Harry/Murphy then taking it away. I love how they both realize that we’re hot with the spell. Oh boy still not over Changes. Everyone is in denial about Harry including me. Yay Georgia’s pregnant! I love the different pov and how people view Harry. I love how we got different perspectives on magic and Harry from Thomas and Murphy. I loved all the Marcone stuff all of it. I love how it shows that Marcone views Harry as a worthy opponent. Now the shipper in me thinks this scene is gold. Marcone really does let Harry get away with things that he doesn’t let others like threats and backtalk. I wonder if Marcone would have hurt Will if it was Harry present and not Murphy? And Marcone even warns Harry not to test him back in Death Mask while here he only does so after he’s knifed Will. I love the dichotomy between how Murphy describes Marcone’s eyes as the color of several-days-old grass clippings vs how Harry describes Marcone’s eyes as worn dollar bills. I love how Murphy then describes Marcone’s eyes as something frightening, pitiless. Harry really was a deterrent to the evil side of the Supernatural side and now they’re coming in now that Harry’s gone. I love the Harry/Murphy moments we got in this story. I hope we learn more about the Formor. 

I’ve learned my mistake now. No more eating or drinking while reading the Dresden files. 

Onto Ghost story!

[sizebrained]

Unstuck Together: Hazel's Perspective Part 2

Hazel and Cob's make a plan to split up to make cutouts in their new home.

Content Warning: Adult themes and language. Mentions of fear, death, danger, terror, therapy, injury, and first meetings.

***

"I don't like this idea." Cob said dejectedly, their mouth full of apple. Hazel sighed while wrapping several small pieces of fruit in slivers of cloth. She slid some into her and Cob's packs. "Dear one, do you realize how large this building is? I think we are safe from any humans, they do not really seem to have moved in yet." She said looking back at the fruit in the bowl. She was worried she may be wrong.

It was a lot of fruit to leave out for no one. "Besides if we are going to make a go of it here, then you need to be comfortable moving around. Making cutouts yourself will be a good start. I will go up to the very top floor and work my way down. You come up and we should meet in the middle. Alright?" Hazel explained, again, hoisting her own pack up on her back. Cob stared at their sister for a long while, then got up and ran over grabbing her in a big hug. "Alright you sentimentalist!" Hazel wheezed hugging back.

"If for some reason anything happens to me, go straigh to Da. Do not try to help yourself. Got it?" Hazel said sternly. Cob grimaced. The prospect of having to make it all the way back to the shed alone sounded worse than something happening to Hazel. "What if something happens to me?" Cob asked worriedly. "Nothing will happen to you. And if it does I will find you and make sure you are safe again." Hazel said authoritatively.

Cob nodded in acknowledgement. Later, it was taking much longer to make cutouts than Hazel had expected. The top floor opened to large human machines humming and whirring with no signs of life.

She was now on what she thought was the 10th floor. She paused her hacking with the heavy nail. The nail's head shaped into a sharp point but it still took a lot of effort to hack away the human material between walls. She couldn't imagine how hard of a time Cob must have been. Hazel took off her pack and set it down by her feet continuing with the nail. Finally, she broke through and started enlarging the new hole just enough that she thought it'd be a tight squeeze for Cob. Hazel looked into the dark space she had just reached. Hazel had learned from experience that borrower eyes were much better in even complete darkness compared to humans.

She stepped halfway through, bringing the nail with her. In a few heavy underhanded swings she heaved it forward, throwing it into the space. Hazel's father preferred to always enter a space himself rather than test it by throwing something in, but he was much better and more experienced than Hazel or Cob.

Hazel had a habit of miscalculating where she came out versus where she thought she was going to be. Her father reassured her that it would come with a few more decades of practice. The nail left her grip and flew into the dark space. It landed with, to her, a heavy clatter. Hazel waited, the space stayed dark and quiet. Hazel waited some more. Then sighed in relief sliding all the way into the space. She looked up and realized she must have come out right under what looked to be some kind of slatted metal storage shelf. She found the nail and left it in its spot for now. It was heavy and her hands felt a little sore from the weight of swinging it for so long.

Hazel chuckled under her breath wondering if Cob had even finished making one cutout yet. Hazel looked in the darkness under the shelf and squinted. Lying on the space's floor, it looked like there was a discarded rectangular piece of paper. She went over to it hoping it was a pamphlet about the building.

Peering over it, she only saw a wordless slightly smaller rectangle creating a paler border. She walked around it's edges to be sure. She made a disappointed noise, standing just under the edge of the shelf with the strange paper lying there. With her back to the paper, she stepped out from under the shelf.

She heard a loud click and looked up at its source. A very bright flourescent light flashed on in the ceiling.

The sudden shift from near total darkness to such light hurt her eyes.

She fell backwards in surprise.

*** End Part 2

[pixielovers2account]

We were so young

Jenna Ortega x female reader.

When had it started when had I lost myself?

I sat on the old stool of an bar the “need a drink?” A man with a white beard asked I nodded licking my lips as he slid the beer over “thank you.” I placed the cool glass cup to my chapped lips, when was this going to be over? The pain of losing someone dear to one myself a beautiful best friend I could have forever but now she’s forgotten how could I forget? How am I supposed to forget my once lover?

I remember her smile soft pink lips like a pink lemonade.

I remember her smell the smell of strawberries and sweet sweet caramel.

And I remember her voice melody rigging through my ears.

And I remember ruining everything.

…

We stood under a deep gray and foggy sky. “We should head back y/n.” Jenna was always so smart and I was “no come on! This’ll be fun!” Stupid. We walked down the corn field heading towards an old cabin that was supposedly ‘hunted’ I mean of course it wasn’t just some teenagers playing around. Or so I hoped.

We made it we finally made it yo the surprisingly kept cabin with a lantern lit we headed in. “Honestly y/n we should head back this is so stupid ghost aren’t real.”

Jenna’s worry echoed throughout the place causing and echo to shallow back to us. “Whoa this place is empty.” I laughed running in more “Y/N!” Jenna yelled running after me.

“This place is huge bigger than I expected Jenna, Maybe one day me and you could get married here.” I smiled back at the girl whose expression became unrecognizable...unreadable. Of course i caught on to this so I made up a lie “I’m just kidding Jenna your like my bestie so maybe we’d be married in a bestie way yea?” I smiled at her. Her expression becoming hurt then contorted into a smile “yeah that would be fun.”

Being as stupid as I was ignorantly ignored that sign. Moving on “come on we should look in the bed rooms.”

That’s how it happened we began to search the house only find one or two spiders cob webs and dust. Until we made it to the basement. “It’s getting late y/n we should go.” I opened the basement door the creepy sound of the thing could scare a grown man and the smell the rushed out to us was uncomfortable.

“Oh man that smells like-“

“Death.” Jenna finished. “Yea…hey Jen maybe we should go…” I looked to her with a worried expression she nods taking my hand leading me out the door.

The rain hardened as we ran through the corn filed shiver fell through my spine as I yelled.

I fell to the muddy floor “y/n? Oh I’m so sorry come on get up.” Jenna came back for me helping me up. “Who goes there!” A man yelled we both looked to each other terrified “I think that’s our cue to go cupcake.” Jenna rushed out “yeah!”

We finally made it out that maze of a filed panting and muddy.

“Man that was…”

“Fun!” Jenna laughed out I giggled and smiled “that’s the most fun I’ve ever hand since…ever!” She gasped out sitting on the wet concrete. I sat beside her “your quiet a character you know that.” I looked at her “is that a compliment Jen?” She nods tilted her head.

Then everything slowed down.

I don’t know what got into me but the feeling of electricity sparked throughout my body and mind as I leaned closer.

Our nose touched “y/n..” Jenna said in such a small voice. “Shh” I hushed the girl. Our lips meeting one another. The moment seemed to last forever till she backed away “y/n” my eyes widened as I backed my head away “oh my god Jenna I fuck I shouldn’t have.” She didn’t speak or maybe she did I was too panicked to listen “i I gotta go Jenna fuck I’m so sorry.”

I ran down the street the lights slowly turning on as I ran for my life pushing my lungs as hard as they could go.

I remember her yelling my name.

I remember her trying to call me 30+ times.

And I remember leaving her

And I remember never looking back.

…

So that’s why. That’s why I’m alone that’s why I’m here right now drinking cheap beer at a strip club of sorts. I let out a quiet sigh stumbling out of the wooden stool “put it on my tab j.b.” The old man nods as I stumble out the door drunkenly. I reek of beer and other various drinks. I let out a sigh falling on the sidewalk “ouchie…” I pouted as it thundered “oh great now it wants to rain.”

I poke my lips out pouting now crossing my legs and resting my head on my held up hands I continue to mumble to myself. “Y/n?” A wiredly familiar voice called.

I ignored it “oh my god is that really you.” This time turning my head out of spite I meet dark brown. Golden eyes that seemed to light up just like the day I met her. “Jenna?” I questioned still in a state of pouting. “Hi, yes it’s me.”

She leans over placing her hands to her thighs holding herself up “still childish as ever I see.” She teased I rolled my eyes clearly still intoxicated with that drink so I pout turning onto my back. Letting the cool rain hit my face “why are you here Jenna.” I asked in a cold tone.

She frowns a bit before leaning over me blocking the rain from my face.

“Well you are in the middle of the road blocking traffic is the first one.” I looked over seeing cars raging with horns and people aggressively yelling. Then I looked to her “and your in front of my way to go to my hotel. I’m not here for you y/n.” Ouch…I let out a sigh getting up slowly stumbling my way trying to get off of the road “oh no you don’t y/n. It’s dangerous and your clearly drunk.” She makes a point by tapping on my clothes.

pulling me to the pure black BMW. I was sat in the car a heater automatically hitting my face. I groaned as she buckled me in before hopping into her own seat and quickly driving to where I assumed to be her hotel “not the way to my house…” I sang out “I know y/n. Im taking you to my place…” her eyebrows creased as we took down another road the rain only seemed to thicken and so had my heart.

…

I sniffed as she lead me into her room helping with my clothes and shower once I got out she helped me to her bed her bed might I say anything. I sniffed again tears filling my eyes “I sorry.” Jenna stopped dead in her tracks as she slowly pulled out her own pajamas in a white robe.

She looked back to me with half lidded eyes. A sheepish smile felt on her lips as she whispered to me “We were just kids y/n.” She took in a breath now coming to me placing her body on mine just like she used to we layer back our breaths in sink as she kissed my cheek playing with my fingers and rubbing me. “I’m so sorry.”

“we were so young, too young to understand what the meaning of love was what are feeling are y/n. So…so stop grieving and love me y/n please just just love me like you used to show me what is it

.

.

.

Please.”

[mothysmenagerie]

A few weeks ago I made the trek to visit one of my dear friends Kate's house so we could crawl up in her attic and see what kind of shit was up there. She believed a Kenner Blythe may be amongst the treasure, which prompted her to invite me. Sadly, no Kenner but we didn't leave empty handed.

And one of the treasures was a Penny Playpal Doll.

I didn't even know these dolls existed until Kate pulled her from one of the piles in the attic. Despite that, as soon as she dragged her huge body out for me to see and asked "do you want her?" How could I say no? She is so charming and reminds me so much of the my size barbie I loved in my own youth, I def wanted to take her home.

But she was SO GROSS. Nearly everything in the attic was covered in a layer of dirt, cob webs, dust, mouse poop, bug corpses, you name it. She was so grimy I had to throw her in the trunk to take her home. This was the first picture I took of her, which is kind of hilarious because it looks like something from a straight up horror movie.

She was so gross that I even had to make a special trip to target to buy her a special containment case to house her until I was ready to clean her lul

Here she is.... Bidding her time...

And the containment breach. >:3

Washing her was an experience. It truly did feel like I was cleaning a small child. 🙃 I filled the plastic tub full of water and dish soap and got to work.

Once I had given her body the first scrub I took her to the kitchen to wash her hair. Her hair is pretty gross, very brittle and balding in spots, but it's not horrible. Kate told me when she was little she messed with her hair a few times so I'm not sure if it was ever cut. If it was, baby Kate did a great job keeping it even loooool.

I used baby shampoo for her head. He hair is still pretty stiff, but there are no more bug carcasses so I'm counting it as a win. 😇

She was already looking much better at this point, but this is also where I messed up. 😞 I had been avoiding submerging her because I knew she was hollow and didn't want to fill her water. However her legs were still pretty dirty and I wanted to soak them and her grimy hands a bit longer to help get some of the more stubborn dirt off. In doing so I left her to soak, thinking dipping just her bottom half would not cause a problem. Boy was I wrong!

She was decidedly heavier when I picked her up from her soak, her whole bottom half full of water. I've drained most of it at this point (thank you mommy blogs for giving tips on getting water out of toys) and I think she will be ok. I hope so at least because I would be heart broken if she got moldy. 😭

She did sure look cute sitting in the tub though looooool.

Anyway, I still have some work to do on her. I'm working now on removing the staining on her face and will continue trying to dry her out. All in all, errors and all, I am having a lot of fun cleaning her up. I love you miss Penelope, and I'm glad you are home with me! 💖😘😻

I also did some work on a Barbie and Midge doll Kate asked me to clean up, more on them in the future. ✨

Until then, I leave you with the adorable commercial for Patti and her buddy Penny. 👯

[the-blue-sandglass]

So my Tales from Earthsea thoughts are back again as I do quite enjoy this movie but-

I have my own grievances with how they handled certain things from the books (cough whitewashing cough) but the thing is, I feel they would have been a lot better off if they'd just kept to their own coherent plot even if that meant diverging a lot as opposed to trying to Frankenstein so much shit from different books together-

Spoilers ahead for the movie if you've not seen it by the way, and trigger warning for mentions of m//der with parts of the plot-

But I feel one of the bigger issues is that with the shift towards Arren and his personal shit, we never actually get much explanation as to what provoked a lot of his ways of thinking throughout the film or why the fuck his shadow came into being beyond his anxieties and fears overwhelming/consuming him and like...okay, that's fine as an explanation for how the shadow came into existence, but what specifically prompted that? Where did his fears specifically come from? What is the 'living in fear' that he mentions being so tired of?

I mean, he's supposed to be royalty yet that trait feels completely incidental to the plot, like if you cut that part out it would have zero bearing or impact on the events of the narrative. What bothers me is that him being royalty could have been used to good effect to account for this new troubled aspect of him!

Like imagine if they took some time to go into at least a little bit of what his life as royalty was like; he could very well have dealt with assassinations, potential kidnappings, political bullshit and backstabbing as the heir to his kingdom in the past, and even that being mentioned could have gone a way to explain where this desire to avoid/flee from what terrifies him so much could have stemmed from. More aptly, what was his relationship with his father like?

I know in the film he says that his father was a good man and didn't do anything bad to him, but I do think they could have expanded on that; his father could still be a good man, but that doesn't necessarily mean he was the best parent - he was a king after all and I don't imagine they would have had a lot of private/personal time, or at least not what Arren might have needed as pressure mounted on him.

In general, him purposefully murdering him just adds a lot of problems story-wise in my opinion. Arren's whole behaviour throughout most of the rest of the movie struck me as avoidance, attempting to escape his problems/fears in any way he can find - whether that be through him being tempted to accept Hazia, the eternal life Cob seemingly offers to help him get or just by accepting death - so why the fuck would he purposefully kill someone that important when all it would do was bring more trouble onto him, more problems to run/avoid?

I feel even going for something like...maybe Arren purposefully trying to split himself up so he can be rid of the heroic side of him that he blames for his problems, as that side would likely contain the dutiful, noble side that keeps him bearing a crown with a weight he struggles to handle - i.e messing about with powers he shouldn't be as a mirror to Cob for example, or to Sparrowhawk in the books arguably - and then being caught in the act, prompting him to panic and instinctively gut the person thinking they're going to hurt him only to realise it was his own father would have potentially worked more. It would still give him a reason to flee, since not only has he fucked around and found out but he's also killed both the king and someone who seemed to be very dear to him, and it still allows the parallel later with Sparrowhawk, except this time he isn't wounded.

Obviously, these are just ideas off the top of my head - but I do really feel that having a more focused narrative or going all the way with leaning into the shift of things between characters wouldn't have been amiss.

[sister-salacious]

Hello my devil pt.2

Maybe be explicit like the last part

The sound of birds wakes me up, and as i open my eyes i am greeted with not my bedroom but a cabin. Dusty and covered in cob webs, the memories of what happened the night before creep into my brain and I sit motionlessly afraid to look. If it was a dream i managed to wander to this cabin myself, if not there would be a dead body next to me or.. a reanimated one. I feel warm breath on my arm, a different arm wrapped around my hips. There was a mostly alive person next to me but was it really him? I turn my head just enough to catch his hair and face in my peripheral vision. It was him..

A gasp, more like a scream erupts from my throat as i shoot up. Terzo jumps a little and looks at me, recoiling from the sudden scream.

“My dear? Whats wrong, you look like you have seen a…a ghost..” he sighs and sits up. “I know its still shocking that i am here mi amore but here i am, and with you” he reaches out a hand to caress my cheek. His hand was warm and soft but i could not enjoy it for much longer as my eyes fixates on his neck where now sits a golden thread tattoo and a scar.

“Look at me baby, i know it is shocking but don’t fall apart” his voice.. it was so warm like sitting near a fireplace, i couldn’t help the tears that started to well up in my eyes. His smile turns to concern as me moves in to hold me, i can’t feel anything but helpless and confused. I mean he was gone for years and suddenly i get to run away with him one night as if nothing has happened. That made no sense and if this wasn’t him then who has my terzo’s body?

“I..you.. you were gone.. i followed copias tour where they displayed you and your brothers in glass coffins.. i sat and watched masses swarm to take a look at your beautiful face.. i-i” he kisses me softly to get me to shut up.

“I can not tell you how sad that makes me my love.. i am so happy that i am here with you now though.. thats all that matters to me. Sister has no doubt found my empty coffin and is sending out some ghouls to look for me. Let us enjoy our time together.”

I sit there in the arms of my lover, a cold yet serene calm sweeps over my body as i melt into him. We sit there for what feels like a few hours before i sit back and look into his eyes. The white one isn’t glowing as much as it was last night but it still has a faint light to it. I shimmy off the large bed and stand up to stretch, what time was it?

Terzo stands up and starts to gather our clothes shaking them out and laying them together so when were ready we could get dressed. When we stayed together in the temple he was always so stressed, as if Nihil and the others exuded extreme amounts of pressure on him. He was the star child to them, except for of course when he would seduce the crowd. Thats how we had met, on one of his last performances i had managed to get a backstage pass. And well one thing led to another, now by no means was i his prime mover, but he treated me with more care than his others. The other brothers didn’t appreciate that Terzo took one of his “groupies” with him to their private quarters but they grew to tolerate me. He was so stressed trying to live up to his fathers expectations. Not like it saved his life in the end with sister getting rid of them. Copia was kind to me though when i hung around terzos coffin for months at a time. He always ensured i had passes to stay near his body too when they went on tour.

I walk around the room for a moment before peaking out the curtains. The light filtered through the trees shinning upon his black impala, it feels almost unreal being here with him. I feel Terzo’s hand creep up my side as he joins me at the window.

“Mi amor we need to get moving, sister might look for me here” he pecks my cheek and turns to go slip back into his suit. I follow and get back into my clothes from the previous night. I joined Terzo in cleaning up the cabin before i jumped into his car with him. We go tearing out of the gravel driveway and hit the road heading away.

“My dear where are you taking me this time?”

“Well I think we should be safe to head to my father summer home. You said he passed right? Meaning it got left to little Copia? It should be empty its so cold for the little cardinal”

I nod a little before reaching for the CD case i see in the floor board. I laugh softly as i recognize the meliora CD. Of course he would have his album in here, my goofy dancing man. I pop it into the player and lean back in my seat. I let the sounds over take me for a moment, trying to process for a moment everything thats going on. After a while i sit up and look over at Terzo, his face hardened as he stares at the road. I take the opportunity to slide my hand into his lap grazing over his member. He looks over at me out of the corner of his eye before returning his gaze to the road.

I let my hands deftly undo his pants, softly teasing him trying to not distract him to to much from the road. I can feel him getting hard through his underwear, giggling i stop and sit back up. He looks over at me with mild disbelief, pulling over the car i stare back at him with equal disbelief.

“Amore..” he growls as he slides closer to me. I flatten myself against the door and smile, sticking out my tongue. In an instant his lips meet mine as he plays with my tongue with his. Quickly he pulls off a glove and sneaks a hand under my dress.

“Careful with your nails love..” i murmur between breathes. I can feel his thumb find my clit as he starts to softly rub and tease it. i sneak my hand back down his pants to find his member again, taking it firmly in my palm. Letting out a small whimpering moan Terzo stops and sits up with a devilish smile. He slides back over to his side giggling slightly as I sit there horny and breathless.

“Come my dear, have to make it up there before to long.”

I sit there shocked, this little shit.

“Alright then..” i say with a pout as we continue back on our path.

[libidomechanica]

I took him out

A limerick sequence

               1

I took him out. While times endure to give up smoking for the iewell. And    none a word. For Love may    die. That a matter what you say. To me aside each other.

               2

Is worse from God than from all high places, lived upon the swamp for a frog.    With meaning to you changed    yourself arriving at your lovesick land that quickly fades.

               3

And of my rurall musick holdeth scorne at me: for pittied is mishappe,    that Ill may turn beside    remote Shalott. With somebody else all night not go free, ah!

               4

The garlands fade that hour with love. With anguish in. That soothe the same. And struggle    on without a toga    or a scarf on a couch as dare approaching, were at all.

               5

A pear from a tamarisk near two Proctors leapt upon us, crying:    help! A honey tongue; which    watch not one; a touch of all these forests, my state more be said?

               6

As to do no thing admir’d! In another skin: I am pure onion—    pure union of outside    and Prejudice, in which the hungry generative error.

               7

Or whether or not the cause of her pap and gum, rich beads of amber here.    My sister and my star!    Which all worn out, a man I came home, the crowd.—First look, first child?

               8

But buried in the river among the taxing rocks. What the other’s Eyes,    and almost spent, all is    Venus, save unchaste. Before their bodies merely for babble.

               9

No sun, but a shell in. With Heydeguyes, and Counter-turn, and Strokonoff,    meknop, Serge Lwow, Arsniew    of modern preacher, and then the same men of the wise, and me.

               10

They say, into her beauties which is inseparate, discontinuous lanterns.    And by their enemy    is beat or beaten, if you would find some way we belong.

               11

Goes by to tower’d Camelot. From hence immortal man, as purple pomp,    nor ride a moon-white steed.    Example field to follow thee. Last nights a funeral fire.

               12

More fear’d than all the water-side, singing shreds. But dreams the final sign the    cob. The hand had collapse,    a small knuckles and the noon’s repose. Ears: how he’d had a wish.

               13

Long since I see my blisse, till a morbid hate and scorn fill with tears like a    woman. But if you’d express    train passing hour, till thy wished smile thy mother’s pangs o’erpay.

               14

Of thee, that nas remedie, but wilt new warre vpon thine own influence, from thee!    All you what is not always    face, and drank the air of her sorrow, has e’en right without.

               15

No shape suggested this, t is truth, the ground with a hangman’s snare strangle    with their caps; you are    divided loves and the forests. Beard, and fruictfull flocks from straying.

               16

No more shall if that dainty cheere thou toldst mine eyes, like glitter. To cut the    tear comes to this old thorn,    this pond and beauty, and up the words thou sing, and, in its snare.

               17

Not let you grow. But for the little urn. The God of shepheards other three    long years they bene hyred    for thine arms, be mine; and I remain with my favorite vow.

               18

But say there were thus honour once; she wept her true eyes blind but with some grand    fight to see. The Warders    strutted up and down to overtrodden transport rose and fell.

               19

Whether from the spheres their pupils like when some one in his face was far as    I could to where shepherd’s    tongue, these days, and see a drunkenness. The passing hour, till then?

               20

Not often when you are shepheards hart made bleede, that this is so much for all:    and the while his brutal    scorn—what if that sickening thirst for glory! Let’s contend no more.

               21

The chiel maun be patient—all for thee. There is no thoroughfare. Alone and    pale, no sun, but a simple    flower, and heavily from heaven is withereth too.

               22

Which prisoners called but half a kiss, the brave man with his learned hedde, I soone    wasted: the blossom’d sloe    my dear, so make the Past so sweet a sleep. That hand, with a sword!

               23

High on a mountains; meseems I feel a noisome scent, the mortal looks at    you again. To carry    into Deed mine own land, ’ she said, but shortly he had forgot.

               24

The pin at the days that are mute! But by the greene leaues, the rail has been a    thing as a perfect ore    limbs, its little infant thus! Thy maysters mind is changed to know.

               25

But oh, ye goddesses of war, or, falling hot and rot, within a    cannonade alone in fact,    I put a chair against whole million dye. Nature’s deep being!

               26

And landskip, have I wonne. My face in the very weel aff to be woo’d and    married the fondness of    noble thought, to march in ranks of better, then others glory.

               27

His crickets stirred from her lip? Palms and fox-terriers. For he to whom none    spake, half-sick at heart,    remembered kisses drying up his rays from your bonny blue een.

               28

A cloudwhite crown of pearl she dight, and did think that seeth faults, not with flutes of    Fear, and binds one with his    mayd. Time drives the lovers, made new, prepared fascines, and rain.

               29

Ah deare Lord, and all thy spirit seem. I can create Ideas in the    dark kept itself with her    sobs, melissa: trust me, Sir, I pitie. She only warmth of loue.

               30

Such end perdie does all hem remayne, that some good bits are in every limb, what    should still reigne. All these ill-    changed to long since, before and could not been Hercules his shape.

               31

That in the noon-sun, with every prison fare, for fear that glister’d in due    order. Ah, what can ail    thee, when the batters after deathsong, the Lady of Shalott.

               32

When the grueling mile-and-a-half Belmont Stakes. Memory deathless tree, of    blood he cleansed the shroud in    which he doth these male thunder of a poet’s debt; and therefore?

               33

I wish is understood and tear our pleasure scawled still, but the night we    walked, with all alacrity:    the first Man took him out. But ah false freendship bene fayne.

               34

Who watch him night away, there is nothing could be ne’ertheless a slight    substratum. And now tis buried    deep her wide eyes fix’d on Camelot. ’ Skimming down the bough.

               35

Which I new pay as if not paid before. But in her a Jonah’s gourd, up    in one of those by    hopelessly as I, that many a thing I know; but to my fate.

               36

On Death and love. Lovers, forget you present poem—of—I know not whether    he came to be disposed    of in a way so new, although our hospitality.

               37

Hears her ever chanting cheerly, like a nick in a knife, driven by your    being crown’d with many    a fine boy. Dead, long debate; but I began to thrid the muse!

               38

And thother for the faring stars. Beauties mine did draw, and to gain her bed.    Haste, little weeks in which    dwell on Parnasse hight, doe make their time, till Christ came down to save.

               39

And then not understand, simple and faithful as we are. Trapped your heart which    is not here; false-flatt’ring    hope, that soft incense hangs upon them his slow brow and his guide.

               40

No leaves returning, the while the vegetable love should he haue ioyed at this    shall sound my boyish dream    involved and dame, to the other’s Eyes, and gold and grieve to see.

               41

And change the law, but the steps, and thee. The invisible echo, and why    he looked, the animals    of your soil, that nought so deadly sweats; now an ague, then walking.

               42

With Daffadillies dight, that he was wildly clad; her eyes I stood and I    love you my nudist the    new way. He deal in frolic, as tonight—the song might have guessed?

               43

Nearly strangers, from so pure, so keen her sense, that Christmas when it is clomb    on high in his body    displaie, how would have been together drinking soul. He with the knife.

               44

Painfully quivering sealed off in a tin box. Stella, whence doth fill the    valorous Smiths’ whom were    drawing their smell into a camp: I know of a babe you trace.

               45

A motherly care of her face, in truth in every star, and ev’ry life    but mine recall. And in    their flockes fleeces, them to araye. I found, whome winter’s wreckage.

               46

Knight and morn the flocke, so that might be undone. Sad case, as you can using    giraffe stretch of mud and    saw. I want to arrive this seed, this wretched a vulture throat.

               47

She answered coldly, Good: your oath is broken heart into the hearts were mute    among green leaves; Fled is    that are ye? From the while thy mother’s right. If I had despise.

               48

Will doe, as did befall, led forth her gaunt and blind the whole thing, whose pleasures    doth reproue, my fancy. Is    worse from God than from all others, and the griefs alike resign.

               49

No things are blest. A faint pink-bronze glow. Life, whom you ignored for another’s    guilt! Or I shall be new    and nerve-twitched pose, fingering day; but I never will you serve?

               50

Your sickness made me a grave so rough, me, that watches there is love had brought    her mantle and good? Least    night and known at last my work and full of weak point: my Lady.

               51

And honey wild, and comes out, first just casually cantering water. It’s    a journey … and I want    to love, or how: but be glad as soon wither, soon forgotten.

               52

But now is come to ye, my lad, o whistle, an’ I’ll come to ye, my lad,    o whistle, an’ I’ll come    to ye, my lad. That I want to say too: I take it all back.

               53

Whose power to reach my mind. As I all others, I’ve heard her character’d    with mine do overflow    this work, not one; a touch of all the water was freezing way.

[alt-ctrl-boxmore]

the 3rd Wheel Icon Set!~

✨ I Just really loved this one Screen Shot of these 3 so I turned them into a Pastel Icon Set ✨

o(*°▽°*)o

[shrimparsonist]

OK BUT THE SECOND PART OF EPISODE 8 JGSRJAYEAJFSJTDSJFSJGSJFSJTSJGDJGG SO MUCH. JUST. JOY :D

Imma just put some thoughts under the cut so no one gets spoilered to death :D

Nickel saying that Clover's luck killed everyone is probably not wrong but. Why so rude about it :c I feel so bad for Clover.

ALSO MORE YIN YANG SCREENTIME. YEEEEESSSSSS! I was really excited to see what they'd do with that body swap and they did not disappoint! I love how much closer they're getting I just love them so much more every episode it's unbelievable -w-

THE WHOLE SCENE WITH TESTUBE AND BOWBOT. WHY DO OBJECTS MAKE ME FEEL SO MUCH. I simply love how Testube explained it all, it feels like her and Fan are like some sort of weird parents to Bowbot it's so wonderfully interesting ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡

Also Testube really just thought she was doing 100% well and there's no "AHAHAHA FOR SCIENCE" feel to why she did that and it's so great. Is she going to help Bowbot figure herself out now? I hope she makes her a new body because that'd be quite cool I think :0

DON'T GET ME STARTED ON WHEN MEPHONE WALKED IN AND DIDN'T EVEN ASK ANYTHING JUST ACCEPTED THAT BOWBOT DIDN'T WANT TO GO BACK ON AND COVERED FOR HER. I know Mephone 4 is often interpreted as a soulless host who doesn't care about the contestants and I love how this interaction just. Completely eradicates that. Mephone 4 has no right to be such a great character it's too much ಥ‿ಥ

(BRIDGE THE CARD GAME. Oh dear. Mephone 4 is really just a silly little guy sometimes)

The scene with ballpoint pen was so great too??? It's true! Mephone 4 shouldn't be so worrisome of what other people think and it's great how that is showcased all the time. Obviously with Cobs but also the photo in episode 4 (I think??)

"You can't do this forever." I'm going to have dreams of this sentence because of for much I've been turning it over and I'm barely joking. WONDERFUL PARALLEL TO HOW HE'D JUST SAID THEY'D BE ABLE TO RUN II FOREVER, but ALSO I really want to know if BP meant anything more than that? I know ii3 isn't meant to be taken as seriously because it's just a jump back to the light-heartedness of earlier ii, but, not only is this proving to be untrue during the actual series (not that it's AS dramatic as ii2 but it has its MOMENTS.), what is ii3 is somehow Mephone's way of ESCAPING the ii2 drama?

Obviously ii2 was starting to get quite heated for Mephone, what with all the meeple backstories popping back up, so what if THAT'S the real reason he started ii3? Not for "the challenge of making 2 seasons at the same time" but rather to get away from all that ii2 stuff?

"You can't do this forever." What if BP noticed that Mephone has deserted ii2, or heck, is onto something, and is telling him he can't run from it forever? Eventually he'll have to come back for the last 2 ii2 episodes remaining... What will have happened to ii3 by then?

Also the fact Goo was excited to be on TV is weird considering this is a REALITY TV SHOW. This could be more proof that ii3 is just Mephone's way of avoiding ii2, but hey, that's just a theory, an OBJECT SHOW THEORY.

On another note, Clover's elimination was spectacular. I was terrified of having to see a character get eliminated, but the reason why they eliminated Clover being for nothing but her own mental health? I love that :')

And Clover giving Nickel and the team luck is such a sweet way for her to leave. Nickel not wanting her to "curse" everyone else is so in character I loved that. Him faceplant crying was great. Clover knows how to make a great exit 10/10 would eliminate again.

And nevermind the fact that I'm wondering how Clover sharing that luck is going to affect the contestants. I think it'd be hilarious if Nickel was just super lucky from now on. As a treat.

BOW CAMEO (｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)(｡♡‿♡｡)

Aaaaaaand I loved the memoriam photo at the end. They did edit Nickel in!! :D

[damonjuicyscock]

Perfect to me- Liam Gallagher X Reader

Pairing: 90’s Liam Gallagher x Reader

Warnings: Drug use, fluff, smut (p in v sex), maybe some spelling mistakes.

Summary: You and Liam have been together for a few months, but you still didn’t have sex together. You feel insecure about your breasts, thinking they’re not big enough and that Liam is going to reject you. His reaction proves you the total opposite.

Words: 1646

A/N: Hello everybody! Here’s a little smut with our dear Liam. It was inspired by Noel’s quote that says: “He gets all these sex starved young girls with big breasts I get the psychopaths”. I hope you’ll like it!

Enjoy

(I'm in love with this gif btw)

It has been now 3 months you’ve been dating Liam. Your friends were telling you to be careful because they thought he would end up cheating on you with girls that had bigger breasts than you because that’s what he liked. Good friends hey?

But deep down now you were starting to believe it, and it made you feel guilty and bad about yourself. You had enough breasts, but not big enough.

You were no virgin, you had experience. But you were dating Liam Gallagher, a man who was coveted by many girls. Too much for your taste. Because they could bring him what you couldn’t.

The day came where you were making out on your sofa while a movie was aired on TV. It was a rainy night, and you decided to have a calm evening together, smoking joints.

Liam’s hand slipped on your clothed breasts, and you jumped a little bit, feeling uncomfortable.

- Summat’s Mingin’?

- No, you just surprised me Li, that’s all.

- Don’t tell me no one touched you before!

- Oh! No Liam, it’s not… It’s not what you think.

- Tell me.

- Well…

- Come on, don’t be shy!

- Promise me you won’t get angry.

- Why would I get a cob on?

- Because you’re not going to be pleased with what I’m going to tell you and I know how…

- Just tell me already Y/N. He said firmly, interrupting you

You passed your fingers through our hair, indicating you were nervous.

- My friends are all telling me you’re going to cheat on me…with a girl who has bigger breasts that I have.

You really thought he was going to be angry. But instead, he bursted out laughing.

You didn’t understand at first, but you were relieved he laughed.

- I know I might be a lady-killer, but Y/N, I love ya, and they’re perfect to me. Believe me yer have more than enough.

Your eyes opened wide.

- Did you just say you love me?

- Yea, I love ya Y/N, I’m madly in love with ya.

You kissed him passionately, straddling him, which surprised him.

- Easy love, not like that. I want to see all of you before. Even though I really want to make love to you.

He pushed you back on the sofa, getting up and got on his knees in front of you.

His look was full of lust, he was devouring you with his eyes.

He unbuttoned your jeans, sliding them slowly, and taking them off you.

He started kissing your legs, going up to your thighs, his hands finding your hips, his eyes never leaving yours. A wide smile appeared on your lips. You didn’t think Liam could be this romantic and passionate.

His hands tugged at your tee, and it was like he asked permission. You nodded and once it was off you, he threw it across the room, looking at your breasts in your bra.

- Fuck Y/N, you don’t know what yer doing to me.

- And what am I doing to you?

- You’ll find out when I’ll be fucking you to oblivion. He whispered in your ear.

His words made you blush, and his hands wandered around your back to unclasp your bra, which he did after struggling a little.

He looked at you in awe.

- You’re the fittest woman I’ve ever seen in me life Y/N.

He brought his mouth to one of them and swirled his tongue around the sensitive nub making you gasp at the feeling.

- Oh god…

- Did you say me name sweetheart?

- Liam… Can’t you be serious for a minute? I giggled

- Sorry, I couldn’t help it. He answered smiling

His lips slipped down your waist and soon his fingers looped around the hem of your knickers.

- Is it okay?

You nodded and he slid them down, leaving you bare in front of him.

You almost tried to hide, but he gripped your wrists in his hands before you could do it.

- Don’t. Not with me. You are perfect Y/N.

He made you relax by kissing your lips tenderly. At the same time his fingers went to rub your clit, making you whimper.

He smiled and looked at you deeply in Y/E/C eyes.

- I prefer this, me. I feel like it’s going to be me favorite sound.

He kept kissing you and soon you felt his fingers at your entrance, pushing inside.

You let out a moan at the feeling.

- Do you like it?

- Yes, please Liam…

- Please what?

- Just…

- I told ya, don’t be shy.

- Fuck me with your fingers Liam.

- I think I can do that, me.

He started to pump them in and out slowly. It was painfully slow but so pleasurable. He quickly found your sweet G point and you gripped his tee.

At this point you were a moaning mess and he decided to speed up his movements.

You were feeling your insides melt, the heat invading your body, and a coil invading your stomach, indicating you were close.

- Liam don’t stop I’m so close!

Oh this bastard wanted to see you come before doing anything else, for sure.

He watched you with full lust while you reached your climax, your legs trembling and your walls convulsing around his fingers, helping you through it.

Once you got down from your high, you felt your lover’s gaze on you, even if your eyes were closed.

- Liam, I can feel your eyes on me. You said smirking

- Are ya a seer?

- No I just feel it.

- I just can’t stop to look at you. Yer’re so beautiful. I mean it.

Oh how you loved soft Liam… You were used to his unruly side which made you fell for him. But soft Liam was touching the sweet spot in your heart.

- And now Lady-killer, are you going to fuck me like you previously said?

- Oh yes. Help me take off me keks and duds.

You did, but first you took his tee off. Once he was naked, you looked at him from down to the top, and starred at his fully erected member before taking it in your hand and giving a few strokes. He hissed at the feeling.

- Are you going to look at me all day or are you going to spread your beautiful legs for me sweetheart? He smirked

You rolled your eyes before smiling and doing what was asked.

You laid down on your back and Liam teased your entrance with his tip. You told him you were on the pill a few weeks before when the things were starting to get heated.

- Ready?

- Fuck yeah.

He slammed his hips against yours, causing you to moan in unison.

- I’m going to make you feel so good baby. He said

He wanted you so much that he didn't give you a second to adjust to his size and thrusted mercilessly inside you. Unruly Liam was back, but you didn’t mind, because you knew you were going to feel so good, just like he said. You also knew that with this pace, you’ll be sore, and you’ll have trouble walking during the next days.

It felt so good. It had been quite a long time you didn’t have sex with anyone, and Liam was showing you how you missed these sensations. But he was giving you better than this, because no man made you feel like this before him. Was it the pace he was taking? You didn’t know and didn’t care because you were enjoying yourself at this right moment.

He was kissing you, silencing both your moans.

Then he started playing with your breasts, kissing them and sucking on them while thrusting inside you, making the pleasure grow. That’s also a thing that no one ever did to you, and you didn’t know you could enjoy it this much.

Your eyes were starting to shut.

- No Y/N, look at me, I want to watch you.

You tried hard not to close your eyes, but it was too much for you to take.

Your sweaty bodies were slapping against each other’s, and it was driving you crazy.

Soon you felt the familiar coil coming back in your stomach, indicating you were close again.

- Oh Liam… I’m so…

- Oh you’re going to cum? Hum… Should I…let you cum?

- Yes Liam, please, please let me cum… You whined

- Hold on a little bit…

He kept thrusting again and again, still playing with your breasts that he seemed to love so much, hitting your G-Spot with every movement, and you were starting to get very sensitive.

Your legs were trembling, and you were almost shouting Liam’s name.

You knew he asked you to hold on, but it was too much and soon you came around his hard shaft, which eventually threw him over the edge.

You both watched each other cum, your faces contorsionning with pleasure, your eyes shutting themselves. Oh how good-looking he was when coming. He was already so attractive, but this was making you fall even more for him now.

He collapsed on top of you, panting. You opened your eyes, looking at each other and letting out a laugh.

- Was it what yer were waiting for? He asked

- It was even more than what I was expecting.

- Are ya confident enough now? Yer’re so perfect yer know that?

- Now I know it. Thank you, Li'…

A tear slid down your cheek

- Oh no baby, stop scrikin’, I didn’t mean to do that.

- It’s not that, you make me feel loved Liam.

- That’s what I’m looking for. I really love ya Y/N, and you’re really perfect to me.

[gotham-ruaidh]

Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass) || Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round) || Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger) || Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 7: Stick To Your Guns

Get a grip on yourself // Get in shape for tonight // Take a look at yourself or your dreams // You're losing sight...

You got to stick to your guns // What's right for you, ain't right for everyone...

Soundtrack: “Stick To Your Guns,” Mötley Crüe, 1981 [click here to listen]

Time passed.

Claire’s sessions with Gillian progressed well. For five mornings a week, ninety minutes at a time, slowly they untangled the path that had led Claire to despair, to addiction, and to The Ridge.

Claire started keeping a daily gratitude journal. For Gillian had helped her understand that she had so very much to be grateful for. Almost every entry featured Jamie – something he’d shared with her, or something small she’d done for him, or a few chords he’d played on his guitar, or a new memory she’d timidly shared – thanks to his quiet, patient encouragement.

Afternoons were for Group, and for recreation. And now that the summer was in full swing, she was volunteering in the garden. It was Glenna’s pride and joy – and grew a healthy range of herbs and fruits and vegetables to be harvested at various points through the summer and served in The Ridge’s kitchens. And Glenna’s passion quickly rubbed off on Claire – who had never gardened in her life, but absolutely relished getting dirt under her fingernails and harvesting from the plants she’d tended to so carefully.

Together with Marsali and Jamie – and a shy newcomer, Elias Pound, barely out of high school but terribly addicted to painkillers – she continued to prep and clear the dining room each evening. With Gillian’s encouragement, she took Elias under her wing, guiding him through The Ridge’s process much like others had when she had first arrived.

And when Elias quietly shared that he wanted to be a doctor – she’d started giving him pointers on what to study, how to focus his energy, and how best to mentally prepare himself for what that life would be like. A life certainly without pills.

Her medical skills had come in handy a few times, too.

There was the evening when Glenna had cut a deep gash in the back of her hand as she’d sliced corn off the cob for dinner. Claire had expertly and calmly sutured the wound, with Elias’ diligent assistance. To the applause of the small crowd that had gathered, watching.

And there was the morning when Geneva had been stung by a bee and had a terrible allergic reaction. Dougal had burst into Claire’s session with Gillian, seeking urgent help. For all that Dougal was opinionated and in charge, he clearly knew when to step back – quickly doing as Claire bade, following her down the hall and bringing her adequate supplies to stop the swelling.

And of course there was the lunch, one rainy day, when Rupert had eaten his roast beef sandwich a little too enthusiastically and began to choke. Swiftly Claire mobilized, and with a few pushes of his diaphragm the half-chewed sandwich spewed all over the table. Everyone in the dining room had cheered.

She had a purpose.

She belonged.

She’d proudly told Uncle Lamb all about it (for patients at The Ridge received phone privileges – one thirty-minute phone call every three days – once they’d been there for two weeks). And Lamb certainly shared her joy.

“You just sound healthier, my dear.” He blew his nose into the receiver. “Excuse me. Claire – I feel awful saying this to you, but I think you’ll understand now. You were so desperately unhappy for such a long time, but you didn’t want any help dealing with it, and I felt utterly paralyzed – ”

“It’s all right,” she reassured him, twisting the phone cord in her free hand, watching through the windows as a few people played volleyball on the lawn. “I wasn’t ready to hear any of it. But now I am.” She paused. “Lamb, I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry for what happened, and I’m sorry for how bad it got, and I’m sorry for disappointing you.”

“Oh, lovie. There’s nothing to be sorry about. I – ” His voice choked. “I’m just so glad you’re off of those stupid pills, and I’m so glad that you’re getting the help that you need.”

“I’m lucky to have really good people here, who want to help me. To build new habits, and to break the old ones. Did I tell you I’ve really gotten into gardening?”

“Yes! You’ll have to tell me more about it the next time we talk.”

“I will. All right – our half hour is just about up. I love you.”

“Oh I love you, Claire. Stay well.”

She hung up and sighed.

[cheese-induced-madness]

Super Hot Expensive Cheese Smut Fic (gone wrong)(gone horribly wrong)(gone horribly right)(gone sexual)(kill me)

mr big visits his main squeeze dr thotty twobrains, and boy is he in for a sexy surprise ;D.

under the cut for smut so bad it could make your brain bleed. minors don't read, even if it's horrible it's still nsfw. arguably nsfl.

final warning, this is. genuinely the worst thing i've ever written sober. i am not responsible for any nightmares, nausea, burning eyes, loss of sanity or skull fractures from slamming the face directly into the desk one may acquire from reading this. proceed with extreme caution.

mr big was horny. and when he was horny, there was only one cure for what ailed him: mouse ass. so he wandered downtown where the poor people lived, and found the abandoned wherehouse where his dear smexxy Dr. Stud Brains resided with his two ambigiously homosexual henchmen. maybe one day he could rope those two into a foursome. one day.

as all the blood in his body was currently located in his throbbing cock and none of it in his brain, he made the executive decision to enter by jumping through the window, tearing open his vulnerable arm flesh and landing crumpled on the floor in The Family Guy Death Pose™.

His lover did not notice, as he was masturbating naked on the couch and too deep into the fantasy to be broken out by something as trivial as glass shattering and a Whole Man landing in front of him.

Mr. Big's dick was too hard to be swayed by the horrible seething pain, and he arose, alert to the smell of the cock he loved to suck. His massive schlong throbbed at the sight of Dr. Two Brains before him, just really going to town with jacking himself off.

"Hey baby, how about you let me help you milk that baby gravy out of you?" Mr Big offered. TWo brains snapped out of his horny, horny trance, eyes drifting up and down between mr big sexy's face and the massive tent in his pants.

"Biggie cheese! you heard the telepathic signal my second brain sent out to you for a booty call!!!!1!!11!" dtb exclaimed.

"uhhhhh no. i just got horny and wanted to slam that ass."

"oh. well as long as i get railed."

"AND RAILED YOU SHALL BE, MY LITTLE RODENT WENCH!" mr big boomed, unleashing his magnum dong and covering it in a monster condom (sonic says practice safe sex, gamers.) "Now where do you keep the lube, shnookems?"

"oh i don't need any," dtb explained. "my asshole self lubricates, like all good twinks."

"the best twink," mr big complimented. "the twinkiest of twinks. now come slob on this knob like corn on the cob, you mousy jezebel."

and slob on that knob he did. he licked and sucked and schlorped and shloped, cramming as much cock into his hungry rat mouth as he could, which was a whole hell of a lot, i mean, have you seen how much mice can fit in their cheeks? like damn, ayo, some rodents be down bad. He swallowed the tip of big's big old meat, the head of it entering his throat like he was trying to vore the damn thing. Mr big groaned and growled while his meatus was being sucked.

dtb removed big's dong from his hole with a wet pop, like the sound of a glizzy shooting out of a nerf gun.

"before you fuck my ass into the ground, i have a little surprise for you my big dicked big <3," dtb purred.

"OOOO I LOVE SURPRISES!!" he shouted.

"i just need you to wait here a minute. sit on the couch and make yourself comfy, angelcakes~"

mr big did as he was told, sitting on the couch, idly stroking his massive meat stick so it wouldn't go soft. god he was horny, and he was getting hornier by the second waiting for dr thotty brains to come back, guessing what his sexy present could be.

the world went dark and he felt a pair of hands cover his eyes, but they felt... fuzzy? "alright," he heard twobrains start, but his voice sounded muffled. "You've got one chance to guess what it is."

"...a dildo made of fur?" he guessed. his eyes were freed, and staring at him was the ugliest fucking patchwork fursuit he had ever seen in his life.

"you're always talking about squishy bunnies, so now i'm your squishy bunny tonight, big boy!" twobrains posed in his suit. the various angles were doing that fucking nightmare absolutely no favors.

big was silent. "...did you make that yourself?"

"sure did! i stole carpet samples from every home depot in the state until i had enough to make this!"

"........did you think my love of bunnies was in any way sexual?"

now it was twobrains' turn to pause. "I... yes? it is, isn't it?"

big looked mortififed. "no. god no. i just think they're cute, what the fuck. i'm not a furry oh my god."

"wait wasn't one of your plans to become mayor just so you could make everyone in the city dress like a squishy bunny??? like what was that if not a fetish?? i'm?? so confused?????????" dtb questioned, feeling his brain(s) break.

"i don't want to have sex with everyone in the city, there's, like, kids and shit living here. bruh i just wanted everything a little cuter, what about that screams fetish????"

"i... then what the fuck is it if not a fetish?? because if it was a sex thing that would make perfect sense to me but like genuinely what is with your fixation on bunnies???"

"i just like them! is a man not allowed to enjoy cute things????" big huffed. "eh, i can still work with this. alright, on your knees."

twobrains did as told but he was still not over the absolute enigma of big's apparently not-fetish. he thought he knew him. he was so wrong. he felt no joy as big plowed his self lubricating orifice. he felt no pleasure as his hole was stretched and his prostate shaken. he felt no release as his dick released hot sticky baby batter onto the floor of the warehouse and the fur of his carpet samples fursuit. he had entered a dissociative state, the world around him turning to static. he didn't even notice as his lover collapsed behind him due to blood loss from the glass that tore open his arm and yeah i bet you thought i forgot about that joke but no here i am it's fucking 11 at night and i'm writing horrible porn on purpose what has my life come to hope you enjoyed

i'm gonna go watch ytps, good night everybody

[animnerd]

Bonfire Memories

Sam and reader

Fluff and one cuss word.

A/n all mistakes are my own. This is my first time I wrote a Sam so please go easy on me.

As the fall leaves were falling down outside your window. While you were In the house getting ready for your date tonight with your boyfriend.  You finished getting the house cleaned and the decorations up of his favorite colors of red, white, and blue. You cooked his favorite foods: Hot dogs, corn on the cob, beans, and green beans. 

Well you made everything except warm up the hotdogs.  That you and your boyfriend was going to cook over a Bonfire! You couldn't wait! You haven't seen him in over three months and missed him terribly.  You laid down the hotdogs,  and marshmallows when you heard the door bell ring. You squealed and ran for the door. You stopped and checked yourself in the mirror first and took a breath. You didn't want to seem to eager. You opened the door and there standing in the doorway was your boyfriend Sam. 

He grinned and opened his arms and you ran and hugged him tightly to you. You kissed his check then all over his face while pinching his face. "I missed you so much baby! Oh don't do that again! I was worried sick! Are you ok? How was the misson?" He pulls your hands away and laughs. "Calm down my dove. Let's go in and I'll set my food down then I'll accept more of your amazing cuddles." He winks at you. You gigled while your checks grew warm. "Oh you." You kiss his lips then guided him into your house. He looks around at his decorations in shock while you take the food to the kitchen. "Wow baby girl you did all this for little old me?" You gigled "Yep! I wanted it to be a party with the two of us for your return from a to long might I add mission." As you put your hands on your hips while giving him a stern look. Which he laughed at and walks over and envelop you in a hug and a kiss. 

"You are too cute like this my dove." You blushed and kissed him back. After you two separated from the kiss he pulls you into a hug "Thank you for the party my dove." "Your welcome my Falcon. I wanted to celebrate you coming home safely and see you again after so long. "you smiled up at him. 

He kissed your forehead. He smells around. "Wait is that corn on the cob? And green beans?" He looks down at you. You grinned and giggled "surprise we are having dinner outside, and cooking with a bonfire!" "He pulls you into a bone crushing hug. "Thank you baby girl! You know me so well! Let's get started!" 

You laughed you loved this side of him. You followed him outside to the fire pit. You set up the fire pit with logs and chairs but forgot the light but he stopped you and grabbed his own light and light the fire pit. You grinned and went back inside to  grab the hot dogs. Once back you went to grab the holders and layed your hot dogs on them.  You handed your love one and you got the other sat down on your chair. He sat down on the other and scooted closer to yours. you laughed and moved closer. 

Sam wasn't having it so he grabs your arm and pulled you closer to him and your sitting on his lap. You smirked and lean your back on his chest and leaned up and kissed his lips while giving him a wink. Which he smirked at. "What I wanted my dove to be as close to me as possible? I missed her terribly while on that long ass mission." You look up at him giving him a look. He only laughed and his your forehead.  "Sorry for cussing my dove but it's true!" You laughed you will admit it has been a long time since you last saw him. So you nodded your head which earned you a grin from him. 

He pulled you close and wrapped his arm around your waist while putting his stick out over the fire along with yours. You snuggled into him and laid your head on his shoulder.  He smiled. "How was the mission baby?" "It well after a few hiccups but I'm glad no one got hurt honestly. There was some close calls. I'm boring my dove. Let's forget it and focused on now!" You nodded your head. "So tell me what did you do while I was gone?" You thought "mostly worked to get my mind off of you because I missed you tons. I hang out with my friends sometimes with Nat and Wands they were dears to help me during our separation. But at night I longed for you. I was close so many times to pick up my phone and text or call you. But I knew you were on a mission and I didn't know if you would be able to pick up and or what time it was there. So I never did until you texted me. I was over the moon! I wanted to ask tons of questions. But I knew it's a limit to how much time you had on the phone so I asked the important ones. " He lifts your chin and kiss you.  "I'm sorry my dove you had to go through that. I will have to thank Natasha and Wanda for helping my girl." You giggled at that but liked it nonetheless.  "I wanted to text you everyday that you were gone. But I didn't want to blow my cover and I hated that I had a few minutes with you. I could tell you were saddened when I had to leave." You give him a curious look to know what you meant. "I love you enough to know my girls feelings." Your checks grew very warm from his declaration. Which he smirked. 

He flipped the sticks over and with his other hand entwined your hands. While he lifts them up and kisses them "hmm I missed you all of you. I kept your picture close to my heart while I was away." 

You rubbed his hand with your right thumb which he enjoyed. You and him locked eyes with each other. Wanting to soaked in each other so incase you both had to be away from each other so long again you could memerized him and him you. 

The hot dogs popped which surprised you both.  You laughed and he pulled the sticks in and put the hotdogs  on the bun and he handed you yours and you both happily ate. After a while after eating your hot dogs. You realized that the fire was about to go out. 

Sam pouted got up while holding you and sat you down in the chair. He stopped you from getting up and went to get more fireworks. Once he puts the new wood on the fire you are back on his lap. The sun was setting while you both were looking at the fire. Your hands was entwined. You kissed his hands. 

The sun was fully gone and the only warmth you had was the fire. You subconsciously shiver from the lack of warmth. You didn't notice you did that but oh boy did Sam. He gets up and sat you down on the chair. He grabs the blanket, comes back and wraps you in a human burrito and sits you on his lap. "Thank you baby." You kiss his lips he laughs. "Of course what kind of a boyfriend would I be if I let my baby freeze!" After snuggling into him again you both went to look back at the fire. 

After a while he looks down at you and whisper "baby?" Only to find that you were asleep he smirked and kissed your forehead. My dove is worn out to greet me home. " He wrapped you protectively around him and let you sleep while he watched the fire. The food was forgotten.

@saiyanprincessswanie

@tumblin-theworldaway

@jobean12-blog

@gotnofucks

[creativeskullcreations]

Buddy’s Problem part 2

Okay! Part two is done! Part three probably isn't gonna be until after the New Year, though, but it should be the final part.

Enjoy the story, and have a Merry Christmas! :D

As it turned out, being a campaign manager was pretty difficult, especially when Buddy had to travel to a whole different town for it. Filbo lived in a small farming town called Kinsing. Several other members of the expedition lived there too, though Wiggle, Gramble, and Cromdo lived in Gippsenburg. Either way, apparently Filbo wasn't very well known, having moved to Kinsing recently.

That was useful, and Buddy could totally work with that.

First was getting him nominated, which was easy as anyone could throw their name in. Filbo actually did that himself, though he needed some coaxing from Buddy to actually put it into the box. They then went out for burgers(not Bungers, thankfully) afterwards. They were joined by Beffica, who was shocked that Filbo was running for a real political position.

"Like, seriously? That's awesome you squeeb!" She gave him a soft punch to the arm, which he winced at. She didn't notice, or maybe just ignored it. "I didn't think you had it in you."

"Well, I mean, I ended up doing pretty good back at Snax- on Snaktooth, so I figured I might as well try for the real thing." He told her, rubbing the soon-to-be-bruise. "Worst thing that could happen is I'll lose to Robbzoni."

"Ugh, Robbzoni. He's the worst." She helped herself to Buddy's fries, even as he tried to yank the plate away from her. "He's the real reason we don't have anymore flowers by the roads. He kept stealing them, so eventually the town stopped replacing them."

"How the grump did you find that out, Beff?" Buddy asked before shoving the whole handful of remaining fries into his mouth. She just shrugged and went for Filbo's plate instead.

"I snooped, Bestie. Just like I always do. Did." She corrected herself quickly, looking away. "I, uh, used to do that."

"So..." Buddy searched for a new topic. "What do you do now, anyways?"

"Oh, I got hired as a reporter at CGN. It's a bit of a commute, but not so bad." She shrugged. "And my coworkers aren't so bad, either."

Ah, the rival for GNN. Buddy remembered all the fights that had broken out between reporters at events. He also remembered the time he raided their office with some of his coworkers and stole all of their paperclips. It was in retaliation for them stealing all the rubber-bands at GNN. Which was to get back at them for stealing all of CGN's staples.

Good times.

"Here." He dug out a bottle of pepper-spray and handed it to the shorter Grumpus. "You'll need this."

"Uh." She looked between him and the large canister. "... Thanks. I think."

"No problem." He took a long drag on his soda as the conversation drifted away from him. Which was just fine, as he was busy brainstorming anyways, writing down plans and ideas into his journal. So far he didn't have a lot, but he'd talk to Filbo about it later and see what they could do.

Maybe a party? Filbo always seemed to like them, back on Snaktooth, so maybe that would be a good way to win him some votes.

The rest of the time passed by in a blur. Events were held, debates, parties, even a couple of bake sales that reminded Buddy of his school days. Speeches were made, each carefully crafted to have the best effect on the small populace of the town.

Wambus was actually a big help with that. As a farmer himself, he knew what to say to get and keep the farmers on Filbo's side. So they ended up conferring with him a lot, which meant going to his and Triffany's house a lot.

He was a surprisingly good cook, honestly. The meals they shared there were some of the best Buddy ever ate. He really would miss those nights when everything was done here, but that was no reason not to continue the "quest" for Filbo.

It was one such night, where Wambus had grilled some delicious steaks and corn on the cobs. He also had some homegrown sauces that he'd brought from Snaktooth, which made Buddy a little uneasy. But, the older farmer seemed to know what he was doing with that so he let it go for now.

"You seem to be getting pretty popular, dear." Triffany was saying to Filbo as Buddy doodled in his journal. He flipped it around to show Wambus his idea of a steak-based Bugsnax, only for the farmer to just grunt in acknowledgement. That was good enough for him though and he put the book aside to eat some more.

"Heh, yeah." Filbo rolled his corn on the cob in some butter. "It's all thanks to Buddy, though. He's doing great on the whole 'campaign manager' thing."

"It's not that hard." Buddy shrugged. "Not like you're running for Minister of the Public or something. It's just a few events to plan, and, like, two debates."

"True, but it still seems like a lot of work." Filbo actually looked kind of concerned, but Buddy waved it off.

"It's... it's really not." He told them, even though it kind of was. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a full night's sleep, but it was definitely before Snaktooth.

"It would be tiring to be around all those people all the time." Wambus agreed. "I could never do that."

"Of course not, dear." Triffany agreed. "That's why you're a farmer."

"Yep."

Buddy watched the exchange with a small smile as Filbo took over the conversation, asking after the sauce crops. Whatever problems the couple had, he was glad they were working them out. He didn't want to even think about what would've happened if their marriage had broken up like...

Well, it wasn't good to dwell on it.

Wambus was right though; it was tiring being a campaign manager. He was almost glad the elections were ending soon, if only so he could get some more sleep. And then focus on finding a real job, as his savings were starting to run a little dry.

Still, as he watched his three companions, he felt content with how it was shaping up. Filbo was excitedly explaining all his plans for being Mayor, from replanting the flowers around the walking paths to finally getting the pot holes fixed. He even started explaining his plans to renovate the park in detail before Wambus finally reminded him to actually eat his steak.

"Oh, heh. Right." He cut a piece off, then opened his mouth to keep talking. Buddy took the opportunity to grab his wrist and shove the fork into his mouth.

"Eat it." He told him firmly, to quiet giggling from Triffany. Filbo shot him a glare, but obeyed, chewing quietly. Buddy then grabbed a forkful of his own steak to chew on, ignoring Triffany's pointed look.

The rest of the night passed without incident. In Buddy's opinion, it ended too soon. But then, it always did. And soon enough Buddy was back at his table in his apartment, drawing up more plans for the campaign. Luckily, the people seemed to really like Filbo. Or maybe they just hated Robbzoni that much more. Either way, according to the mid election survey Filbo was looking to be the popular candidate.

Still, he couldn't relax yet, there was still too much to do. The election itself was tomorrow. People would vote in the morning and the results would be announced both that afternoon, and in the next morning's paper. There would be one last speech before the vote though, and Buddy wanted to make sure it was perfect.

However as the time got later, and he had started the speech pretty later anyways, he found himself unwillingly drawn into sleep. Even as he tried to fight it off with copious amounts of caffeine, he inevitably passed out.

When he woke up, it was to Filbo calling him. In a panic, he grabbed his papers and raced out the door, practically flying down the stairs and into his car. He broke several traffic laws, but he managed to get to Kinsing Town Hall just barely on time. As he ran inside, he tried desperately to sort through the garbled mess of a speech he'd written.

He made his way to the backstage area, where Filbo was talking to... someone. Buddy felt like he should know the other Grumpus, but his exhausted mind just refused to make the connection. In any case, as soon as the Grumpus had left he was rushing up to Filbo, rapidly spewing apologies all the way.

"Sorry, sorry! I think I still have some time to, uh, to-to fix this? Maybe?!" His voice rose an octave and he quickly cleared his throat and tried to laugh off the rising panic. "I was up too late I think. Working. On this." He gave another short laugh, internally wincing at how off it sounded.

"Hey hey, it's okay." Filbo had to grab his shoulders, forcing them down from where Buddy had unconsciously hunched into himself. "I've got this one." He told him. Buddy blinked in surprise, hands lowering and almost dropping his papers.

"... You... you 'got' this?" Just what did he mean by that? Was Buddy unneeded? Had he been unneeded this whole time?

"Yeah. Since you've been working so hard lately, I figured I'd just, y'know, handle my own speech for today. " He gave a sheepish smile, rubbing the back of his head. "Sorry, I probably should've told you sooner-Oh!" He jumped at something the Grumpus on stage was saying. "There's my cue! See ya later!" He gave a quick wave before rushing off to get on stage, oblivious to Buddy's aborted attempt to reach for him.

'He didn't need me...' Quietly, Buddy dropped his speech into the trash. He then went for the snack table they had set up to get some coffee. 'I don't know why I even tried.'

The speeches were said, and then the voting happened. The surprising part, at least to Buddy, was that as they each voted the other members of the expedition would come up to them. A couple offered a "Good luck" or two, but none of them really left afterwards. They all hung around, and talked.

It made Buddy feel even more like he shouldn't have come. Filbo had plenty of people to keep him company for this, he didn't need Buddy Nobody did anymore.

So he sat just a little bit outside of the group, speaking only when someone talked to him directly. Other than that, he just drank his coffee quietly and wondered when would be a good time for him to leave.

It turned out never. The others never forgot about him for long enough for him to be able to slip away. Floofty in particular seemed intent on watching him, and they weren't blinking. He knew this because he straight up had a staring contest with the mad scientist, and they didn't blink once.

Soon enough, voting had closed and the votes were being counted. Poor Filbo was anxious through the whole thing, but never said anything about regretting running for mayor. Buddy was actually kind of proud of him for that, if he was being honest. He knew how hard the light blue Grumpus could be on himself, and he was glad he had gained some confidence at least.

Even if it was just another sign that he wasn't a help to him anymore. That he wasn't a help to anyone here anymore.

But, when they announced that Filbo had won, that he'd done it and beat out longtime Mayor Robbzoni, everyone present cheered. And not just the ones from Snaxburg, either, but everyone else who was hanging around. As everyone congratulated the new Mayor, and the MC announced when the official swearing in ceremony would take place, Buddy gave a quiet sigh into his coffee. Mentally, he ticked this quest as complete, but no new objectives came to mind.

"Hey, Buddy!" He looked up to see Filbo waving at him, and gave a small wave back. "We'll all going to Gramble's place to celebrate. You coming?"

Would he go? No. There wasn't anything for him to do there and besides, he had to get started on job hunting.

"... You guys go on ahead. I'll... I'll catch up with you later." There. Now he could go home and the others could get started on whatever came next for them.

Filbo hesitated a moment, searching Buddy's face intently. Then he shrugged and turned to follow the others. "Well, okay. If you're sure."

And then he was gone, along with the rest. Buddy put down his still full cup and stood up, dusting his fur off. He went to his car, a tiny little red thing that really needed to be traded in, and drove down the road back to Gippsenburg. He had a stop to make before he went home to his apartment, and then maybe he could finally work on forgetting everything.

[gukyi]

do you want me (dead?) | jjk

summary: jeon jungkook, quidditch extraordinaire and overall pain in your ass, is the one problem you can’t seem to solve, even with years of being the school’s advice columnist under your belt. that is, until you begin to receive letters from someone under the alias of bambi, requesting help with confessing to a crush, and suddenly, your relationship with jeon jungkook takes a turn for... the worst?

{hogwarts!au, enemies to lovers!au}

pairing: jeon jungkook x female reader word count: 11k genre: fluff! just fluff !!! warnings: this may or may not be absolute self-indulgent trash. a/n: ha! you thought it would be like 20k, you were wrong. and honestly, i’m kind of glad it’s the same length as the rest of the sorted series. you know, for uniformity. anyway, enjoy this flaming garbage dumpster pile of a jungkook e2l fic. have i ever written anything more self indulgent? no? also, happy 2 years to gukyi dot tumblr dot com!!!!

Dear Y/N,

I need your help! I’ve liked this boy for a couple months now, and he’s friends with some of my friends, but any time he comes up to me I run away because I don’t know what to do. Whenever I’m around him I clam up and can’t say more than a couple of words before chickening out and running away. He probably thinks I hate him. Do you have any advice on how to tell him that I like him?

Yours truly, An awkward third-year

Dear An Awkward Third-Year,

Don’t be afraid! I’m sure we’ve all been there with the person we’re crushing on. The nervousness is totally natural. But the only way that he’s going to know how you feel is if you take initiative and tell him! I obviously can’t advise you too personally, but if you dance around the topic, you might confuse him! The worst thing that he can do is tell you no, but the only way to know if he feels the same way is if you tell him. And if you’re scared to just blurt it out, figure out some common interests and just worm it into the conversation. Don’t get too hung up over a boy, but do let him know how you feel! You may get some really great results. Good luck!

Yours truly, Y/N

The letters are dropped off at the front of the Slytherin table in the Great Hall every Thursday at exactly seven in the evening, right after you finish eating dinner but before you resign yourself to your dormitory for the night. They’re always neatly packaged, pushed into a nice little stack and wrapped together with a long string of tweed. It’s just enough time for you to read them all, select the three or four that will make it into the next issue of the school’s weekly newspaper, which prints on Sundays.

“I hate your owl,” Yuju says one Thursday night, feeding it bits of corn she’s plucking off of the cob on her plate. “He acts too much like my uncle’s nineteen-year-old golden retriever and not enough like an actual owl.” Her fingers drift away from its mouth and towards the side of its head, scratching it as it coos happily, curling into her touch.

“Why do you think I named him Dog?” You deadpan, unwrapping the stack of letters in front of you. “Stop feeding him corn. You know that the butter makes him throw up.”

“All the more reason to,” Yuju says, plucking off a couple more bits for Dog to wolf down before you actually begin to berate him. Half the reason he even lingers after dropping off the weekly papers, instead of flying off like the rest of the owls, is because both you and Yuju seem to have developed quite the soft spot for him. She moves on from the corn and to the tortilla on her plate, which she says is part of a deconstructed taco. It, in total honesty, looks like a very small, very measly, very insignificant Mexican buffet.

“I hate you,” she mumbles under her breath. It’s unclear if the words are directed at you, her best friend, or Dog, the owl with what she deems is the ‘most ridiculous name for an owl in the history of wizardry as the homo sapiens species knows it’, which is a bit of an overstatement if you do say so yourself. “I hate you and your dumbass name.”

“Stop, he can understand you,” you say, reaching over to cover Dog’s ears. Dog hoots unsuspectingly, looking as pleased as ever as he pecks at the tortilla in Yuju’s hands. “And stop feeding him. Pretty soon he’s going to stop eating the wholesale beetles I buy him because he’s been too exposed to the high quality deliciousness of the Great Hall’s cafeteria meals. It’s like dessert for him.”

“Fine,” Yuju says with a sigh, letting Dog nip the last piece of tortilla in her hand before shooing him off. He flies away with ease, but not before he sends a glare your way for limiting his Great Hall dinner intake. Great. Now not only will your owl begin refusing the healthy, hearty, cheap-for-the-quantity wholesale beetles, but he will also hate the hand that feeds it. Ungrateful feathered sausage.

Turning back to the reason that Dog was even being hand-fed the equivalent of McDonald’s milkshakes in the first place, you begin to shuffle through the stack of letters for the week. It’s not a very sizable stack, but that’s because it’s still the beginning of the year, and no one’s really figured out how the whole advice column thing works yet. Unlike you, a seasoned expert. It’s most of the same stuff, first and second years fretting over the workload and not knowing how to make friends or how to handle the professors. Typical beginning-of-the-year worries. You’ll know how to answer these with ease.

Yuju peers over to read some of the ones you’ve discarded, lying scattered on the deep mahogany of the table. She says it’s because sometimes she can offer valuable and indispensable advice, but you know it’s just because she’s nosy as hell and can’t help but look into other people’s business, even if they are anonymous.

“Wish I had this sort of thing when I was a baby first year,” she comments to herself. “Instead I just turned to you for all of my daily inconveniences.”

“Yeah, which is exactly why I started this column,” you remind her, memories of her flopping onto her bed in the dorm and groaning about all of her problems flickering through your mind. You’d never tell Yuju this, but your late night chats became the reason you approached the head of the school newspaper in your third year with a suggestion for an advice column.

You fish through the pockets of your robe, hunting for a spare pen so you can begin to formulate some responses when you hear loud stomping and obnoxious laughter coming from the entrance of the Great Hall. Glancing over from where you’re seated at the Slytherin table with Yuju by your side, you spot four boys clambering into the Great Hall, one with a particularly familiar tuft of bouncy, brown hair.

“Speaking of daily inconveniences,” you say sarcastically, eyes rolling like the magical night sky above your heads is mocking you. You don’t think you’ve done anything mean recently, so you can’t possibly imagine why karma has it out for you.

Except maybe it doesn’t matter, because Jeon Jungkook defies all laws of the universe and its natural system of rewards for good deeds and punishments for bad ones. All so he can exist in this very timeline, in this very location, in this very lifetime. Which so happens to perfectly coincide with your own.

Jeon Jungkook saunters into the Great Hall, footsteps heavy and jarring, just so he can remind everyone that he’s made an appearance. He laughs like a roar of thunder, forceful and purposefully. Exists obnoxiously, without regrets or second guesses.

“Maybe if you keep your head down and put your robe over yourself he won’t notice you—no, he’s coming over here.” Yuju says, making you nearly slam your head on the table in exasperation. “I tried,” she tells you helpfully, not sounding like she tried very much at all.

“Working on next week’s Witches’ & Wizard’s Counsel?” Jungkook asks instead of a hello, like any normal, non-annoying person who’s just trying to make casual conversation and not pointed and directed disturbances would do.

He snatches up one of the pieces of paper spread out on the table before you to inspect it. You reach out to wrestle him for it back, but not only is Jungkook across the table, he is also standing and taller than you anyway. “Hey, this person needs some advice for trying out for their house’s Quidditch team,” he says with a smug grin lacing his features, like he thinks he’s onto something. “Maybe I should give them a few pointers.”

“Give that back, Jeon Jungkook,” you say, reaching over the table with grabby hands to wrestle him for it back. He dodges your nimble yet crab claw-like fingers with ease. “You know that’s private.”

“It’s anonymous!” Jungkook cries defensively, even if he does cave and hand it back. “Besides, you’ll end up publishing it in the newspaper anyway. What’s another person taking a look at it, huh, Pumpkin?”

“Ugh,” you say, tilting your head back in exasperation. You swear, Jeon Jungkook takes off five years of your life just by existing within close proximity of you. “You’re never gonna let that go, are you?”

Jungkook chuckles. “You got to go to Hogsmeade for the very first time independently, nearly bought out Honeydukes’s Pumpkin Pasties stash, and then proceeded to vomit it up on the sidewalk two hours later after how many of them? Nine? Ten?” He asks, goading you on, and like a fool, you engage in it.

“That was four years ago!” You hiss.

“Doesn’t make it any less funny,” Jungkook admits. Next to you, Yuju’s on the verge of breaking out into giggles. “I’ll drop the nickname if you really want me to, Pumpkin, but I think it’s cute. It makes you different.”

“You’re the only person who calls me that,” you groan.

“It could be worse,” Yuju pipes up unhelpfully. “You could have vomited up a bunch of Cockroach Clusters, instead.”

Jungkook chuckles.

“You are not helping!” You glare at Yuju, who merely laughs. Seven years together and she’s never truly grasped the sensation of pure aggravation that you feel whenever a certain brown-haired Ravenclaw is nearby. “Why are you here, Jeon? Besides to give me a headache.”

“Want me to kiss it better?” Jungkook teases. You are on the verge of shoving Yuju’s half-eaten corn on the cob right up his nose. “What, am I not allowed to say hello to some of my favorite Slytherins out of the goodness of my heart?” He places a hand over his chest, mock offended you’d ever take a jab at his not-so-innocent intentions.

You frown. You don’t think Jungkook’s ever done anything out of the pure, unadulterated, so-called goodness of his heart. You should know. You write for the newspaper. There’s always fine print, always provisos and loopholes.

“I just came to check in on you,” he says innocently. You narrow your eyes. “Fine, and to remind you of my undying love.”

“My God,” you say, closing your eyes out of sheer annoyance. “If it doesn’t die soon, I think I’ll have to take matters into my own hands.”

“Harsh, pumpkin,” Jungkook says with a pout. “Never met someone so resistant to someone willing to devote their whole life to yours. Thought you were supposed to be all encouraging about love and nostalgia. Seems like your kind of thing.”

“You don’t know what kinds of things are my things,” you tell him defensively. It’s as if he can read you like a fucking board book. Have you always been so transparent? Or is it just him?

“But I want to know.” He winks for good measure. Your brain makes a mental note to steal a few beans from the stash of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans that Yuju keeps hidden in her trunk, so you can vomit later. “Sure you don’t want my help with that Quidditch letter?”

“I’m positive,” you deadpan. “I wouldn’t ask you for help even if Lord Voldemort returned.”

“Good thing he won’t, right?” Jungkook grins, all teeth and crinkled eyes. Someone from the Gryffindor table calls his name. What a goddamn shame your conversation’s been cut short. “I’ll catch you around, Pumpkin,” he says as he begins to bound off, always a fully-charged battery of a human being. “Don’t forget about me, won’t you?”

You couldn’t even if you tried.

Jungkook leaps off to interact with people that don’t see red whenever they speak to him as Yuju mutters something about how much she wants to destroy the Ravenclaw quidditch team this season.

You look down at the letter Jungkook had mindlessly picked up.

Dear Y/N,

I really want to try out for my House’s Quidditch team, but I’m too scared! I know that they’re in need of a Seeker, but I’m Muggleborn and I’ve only ever been on a broom during Flying Class. My friends say that I have a good eye for small things and that I should go for it, but I’m afraid that everyone will laugh at me because I don’t have any experience. I’ve tried reading books and watching other people play, but I don’t think it’s helping. And every time I try to get a broom to practice on the field, I see people who are really good at it, like Jeon Jungkook, and I chicken out. Do you think I’ll ever be as good at it as he is?

Yours Truly, A Seeker Hopeful

You groan. The bewitched ceiling of the Great Hall laughs at you.

Here’s the thing about Jeon Jungkook: he wasn’t always such a nuisance.

Or at least, giving him the benefit of the doubt, you assume he wasn’t always such a nuisance. Whether or not he’s always been this sleazy and unbearable will forever remain a mystery to you, but you can say with certain confidence that ever since you met him in the third year, he’s been nothing but a complete and total bother.

You love your best friend dearly, but Yuju joining the Quidditch team in your third year was the worst thing that’s ever happened to you. Because Quidditch equates to Quidditch friends, and Quidditch friends equates to a certain insufferable Ravenclaw seeker.

The whole point of the formation of the universe is that everything that has ever happened since the very fabric of time began has led up to this moment. Which, in theory, seems pretty goddamn astounding. The universe has twisted, turned, morphed, metamorphosized over the past fourteen billion years just so you could be right here, right now.

Except theory is always more idealized in reality, and there aren’t enough words in the English language to express how overwhelmingly bothered you are by the fact that it took the universe fourteen billion years, fourteen billion goddamn years, for you to end up next to Jeon Jungkook.   

But hey, maybe Jeon Jungkook wasn’t always such a nuisance.

“Have you guys noticed something different about Hufflepuff this year?” Yeeun asks one Thursday night as you’re gathered in the Slytherin common room. She’s letting Yuju give her a haircut, sitting patiently on a wooden stool as Yuju flitters and flutters about her, the pair of scissors in her hand leaving little paths of blonde hair in their wake. “They’re getting more aggressive.”

“Aggressive how?” Yuju asks. Her eyes widen when the scissors move a bit too quickly, chopping off more hair than they can chew. Yuju glares at you—keep your mouth shut. Hair grows back.

“Not like, violent aggressive. But Quidditch season started like, a week ago and yesterday I was eating my lunch in the Great Hall when a herd of Puffs wearing full Puff memorabilia—scarves and everything—stormed in and screamed, ‘WE’LL HUFF, AND WE’LL PUFF, AND WE’LL BLOW YOU OFF YOUR BROOMS!’ And quite frankly, it was so much Puff Pride that I was actually scared,” Yeeun recalls.

Yuju chuckles to herself, shaking her head. “I guess we’ll just have to prove them wrong, eh? Next time we play Puff, I’ll make sure that they don’t get a single Quaffle through the hoops.”

“You better,” Yeeun huffs.

“You gonna watch?” Yuju asks. “It’s your duty as a rising seventh-year. Can’t believe you’re gonna be seventeen next year, huh?”

“Can’t believe you guys are graduating this year,” Yeeun says in response, frown lacing her features. You have to agree with her—though you only know Yeeun from house activities, she’s definitely become one of your favorite people. Alongside Yuju, of course.

The chatter continues as Yuju dutifully snips away at Yeeun’s hair, making sure it’s just above shoulder-length like Yeeun likes it. You filter through the letters you received for the weekly column, still stacked neatly wrapped up in tweed—the Great Hall was serving tomato soup for dinner, otherwise you would have read through them all during supper, beginning to narrow down the small pile to the three or four you’ll keep for the newspaper.

“Hey! Bambi’s sent another one,” you exclaim happily, recognizing the scrawl of Dear Y/N instantly, always so distinct. Or maybe that’s because Bambi’s been sending you letters since the beginning of your sixth year, so you’d be a fool not to recognize his handwriting, or at least the way he writes Dear Y/N, by now.

Yuju grunts in acknowledgement of your exclamation at the same time that Yeeun, baby, sixth-year, pureblood Yeeun says, “What’s a Bambi?”

“Oh, the name of a character from an old Muggle film,” you explain, knowing that any more technicalities will confuse her. “He’s one of the regulars I get for my column. He’s been sending me nice letters ever since the beginning of last year.”

“Aw, maybe he’s got a crush on you!” Yeeun immediately exclaims, making Yuju jerk away from her hair sharply, on the verge of bursting into laughter.

You shake your head. “I doubt it, since anonymity isn’t the best way to confess feelings. But he’s sweet and sometimes won’t even ask me for advice—just sends me a note telling me that I’m working hard for the column and doing a good job. Little pick-me-ups, things like that. It’s really nice of him, actually. I don’t normally get thanked for my advice column.”

“That’s bullshit,” Yeeun grumbles. “You deserve every newspaper award in the world for all the work you put into that thing.”

“Everyone else who contributes to the newspaper works just as hard as I do,” you remind her. You glance down at Bambi’s note, neat cursive handwriting resting gently on the paper, like it’ll fly away like dandelion wisps if you blow at it. “But it is nice to get stuff from him, sometimes.”

“Y/N likes this anonymous Bambi more than she likes us,” Yuju jokes to Yeeun, finishing up the final touches. Yeeun’s hair, as always, looks wonderful. Yuju has a talent for this kind of thing. She motions to the paper in your hand. “What’s it say?”

Dear Y/N,

Over the past couple of weeks I have come to a life-ruining, world-ending, universe-collapsing conclusion: I have a crush. I mean, I suppose I’ve had this crush for a while now, but I only just recently realized it. Anyway, to put it into less melodramatic terms, there’s this girl that I really like. Like, stupid like. It’s kind of ridiculous. All of my friends tease me about it. But I just think that she’s funny and beautiful and creative and witty and a long list of other positive adjectives. Only problem is (here’s the earth-shattering part): I have no idea how to tell her. And I’m afraid that it might just slip out accidentally and then my chance for a grand romantic gesture will be ruined. Any suggestions?

Yours truly, Bambi

“Aw, he’s got a crush!” You exclaim happily, fawning over his words.

“Lemme see,” Yuju demands, making grabby hands for the paper. You hand it over to her, and she inspects it like a textbook passage she doesn’t understand and has to reread. “Um, if you ask me, personally, this is less like a crush and more like complete infatuation. Just saying.”

“And?” You ask defensively.

“You have never been in a relationship before,” Yuju says, looking you dead in the eyes with her big brown ones. She punctuates each word with a head jerk for emphasis.

“So what? He’s asking me for advice on a school crush. This is Hogwarts—relationships built here aren’t meant to last. We’re teenagers. We don’t know what real love is.”

Yuju rolls her eyes as she hands Yeeun a mirror for her to see her new haircut. “But from the looks of it, it sounds like he does. Maybe it is just a schoolboy crush, but Bambi, whoever the hell he is, seems pretty dedicated to it. You ever thought about that?”

You pout. This conversation is going nowhere, and by going nowhere, you mean quickly morphing into reasonable yet angry comments directed at you.

Yuju sighs, voice getting softer. She can never stay mad at you for long. “You should stop being so jaded all of the time. You’re an advice columnist, for God’s sake, Y/N. Look on the bright side.” Yeeun beams a thank you at Yuju for her haircut. “Sometimes, love lasts.”

Quidditch has never been your thing. Activities that involve flying have never been your thing. The idea of whizzing around a field fifty feet in the air as bugs fly into your face while sitting on a broomstick makes all parts of you uncomfortable, from your brain to your… lower regions.

Long story short, athletic sports that don’t involve two feet almost always on the ground aren’t really your thing. But you’ll be damned if you don’t support your best friend and your house until the day you perish.

Which is exactly why you’re sitting in the bleachers of the Quidditch field in the middle of a very strangely warm November afternoon, the sun beating down on your black robes, absorbing as much heat as physically possible. Despite it being near winter, the effects of Muggle-made (and wizard-made, but wizards don’t like taking blame for the slow heat death of the only inhabitable planet within the known parameters of space) climate change reign, and you shrug off your heavy robes to leave only your undershirt and tie on within five minutes of being outside.

Yuju’s dragged you out to one of her informal, house-inclusive Quidditch get-togethers (not serious enough to be a practice, but not light enough to be deigned hanging out) under the guise of moral support, leaving you sat pathetically on the bleachers as your best friend and her Quidditch buddies zip around above you. They’re tossing around the Quaffle like a strange, very mobile game of Hot Potato.

It’s the perfect time for you to get your homework done, the ambient sounds of “Hey, Clark, think fast!” and “You almost hit my goddamn nose!” the optimal background noise for peak productivity. And you’d never admit it to Yuju (because it would mean that you actually enjoy sitting out in the sun being boring), but the empty bleachers make pretty decent tables.

You’re switching back and forth from your completely and utterly incomprehensible arithmancy homework and edits for the newspaper—other sections, of course—when you hear the familiar sound of a broom coming to a halt in front of (or more above) you, the sound cutting right through the air and wind. You have half of a mind to not even look up, suspecting it’s just Yuju to complain about the fifth-year Gryffindor Beaters she hates, when—

“Pumpkin, come to watch me?”

You should have known better. It’s no surprise that Jeon Jungkook’s here today—he’d never pass up the opportunity to flaunt his Quidditch skills. Your presence is just a bonus.

“Yes, Jungkook,” you deadpan. A frown etches itself across your lips, partially because of the person you’re talking to, and partially because said person is blocking your view of the sun, which you would otherwise stare into so as to never have to lay eyes on Jeon Jungkook again. “Out of the dozen or so people on that field, one of whom being my best friend, you are the person I’m here to watch.”

Jungkook grins, and though his face is shadowed, the rays of the sun cast some sort of deceivingly angelic glow around his figure. “Always knew you had a soft spot for me.”

“Yeah, no one I’d rather knock off their broom than you,” you mutter to yourself, just loud enough for Jungkook to hear. You’re not sure if he’s still paying attention, but if he is, he doesn’t say anything.

“Jeon! Stop schmoozing and get over here!”

Both you and Jungkook turn to the source of the voice, another one of the Ravenclaws out at practice who’s waiting atop their broom for Jungkook to get off his ass and do what he came here to do.

Jungkook grins guiltily. “Looks like they need me, pumpkin. Watch this next trick, it’s for you!”

Before you have the chance to remind Jungkook of how little you care for him and his tricks, he flies off, leaving an empty pathway of air in his wake. You don’t know what he’s got up his sleep, but if it’s anything like the other tricks he’s pulled over the five years that you’ve known him, you know better than to wait and find out.

Someone else comes to a halt beside you. It’s Yuju. “What was Jeon Jungkook doing talking to you?”

You frown. “What do you think?”

Yuju chuckles. “Right. I forgot he was going to be here. You didn’t have to stay if you knew he was here, you know.”

“You kidding? Of course I’m gonna come and cheer on my best friend,” you say, shrugging it off. Yuju’s worth the suffering that Quidditch brings. “Go Yuju!”

“You’re the best,” Yuju says with a grin. You shrug. You know you are.

“Hey, pumpkin! Check this out!”

Jeon Jungkook calls your name at the perfect time—just enough time for you to actually follow his directions and look towards him. Someone on the far side of the field tosses a small, non-active Snitch in your general direction, and Jungkook tears after it, reaching the puny thing in just under a couple of seconds, a quick flip of his broom as he catches it in his right hand. You don’t have enough time—or willpower, for that matter—to look away before he’s turning his head to you, blowing you an obnoxious kiss just for good measure.

“Christ,” Yuju snorts from next to you. “He’ll never give up, will he?”

You sigh. Maybe in your dreams, he might.

Dear Y/N,

Okay, maybe I should give you a bit more context to the aforementioned life-shattering crush I seem to have developed. We do actually know each other—I’m not just sadly pining after her from a distance—but we’re not exactly friends. Maybe acquaintances at best, but even that term might be pushing it. I’m just not sure how to tell her how I feel without coming off too strong, or scaring her. Even if she doesn’t feel the same, that’s the last thing I’d want. What should I do?

Yours truly, Bambi

Dear Bambi,

Hey, at least you both know each other! That’s a step in the right direction. I don’t know if this is universal, or if I’m the only one who thinks it’s decent advice, but maybe you should try getting to know her as a friend before you dive into the romantic stuff. That way, she’ll feel more comfortable around you and the air will be less awkward in general. If she’s not interested in just getting to know you better, then you’ll probably have a pretty good measure of whether or not she might feel the same romantically. Good luck!

Yours truly, Y/N

“Was Arithmancy homework always this difficult?” Yeeun asks, madly flipping through the textbook in front of her. It’s a small, old thing, notes scribbled in the margins from the three older brothers she has that took the course before her, passed down their sage wisdom and little doodles to her in the form of all of their beat-up textbooks. “I have no idea what’s happening in class right now.”

“Don’t worry,” you say, dipping your quill into the small blue jar of ink at the edge of the library table you’re seated at, charmed to refill automatically. “It gets worse.”

Yeeun groans. She takes one more look at the work in front of her and begins to pack up her belongings.

“Hey, where you going?” You ask. “You said you had the afternoon free to study.”

“I do. But I’m on the verge of breaking down because I don’t understand anything so I’m going to go talk to the Professor to see if he can help me and if he can’t, then I will be hiding in the Potions closet crying. So you’ll know where I am,” Yeeun says as calmly as she can muster. She looks perfectly fine on the outside, always so put-together and polished, but after knowing her for so long, you know that if you just tapped on her shoulder her entire façade would fall to the floor and shatter into a million pieces. So you don’t push it.

“Okay,” you tell her. “Be safe. Don’t drink anything in the Potions closet because that might make you worse at Arithmancy.”

“Got it,” Yeeun says, shooting you a finger gun before heading out of the library.

You’re left in silence, struggling to draft an essay for Defense Against the Dark Arts which is due at the end of the week, when someone else plops down in Yeeun’s place.

Much to your surprise, it’s Jungkook. And it doesn’t look like he’s here to bother you—or at least, that’s what you hope, considering he’s got his own schoolwork with him, spreading out comfortably as he begins to work, practically ignorant of your presence.

Now that you think about it, this is how it should have always been. The two of you, coexisting comfortably and without disturbances, keeping to yourselves and only talking if necessary. But now that Jungkook’s here, right in front of you, and he’s not saying a word, it leaves you with a prickle on your skin. A sense of peculiarity, because in the five years you’ve known him Jungkook has never been one to sit down and stay quiet.

“Can I help you with something?” You blurt, unable to keep your mouth shut when Jungkook’s sitting right there.

He looks up at you, a knowing glint in his eye, and smiles. “No. Just doing my work, pumpkin.”

It’s aggravating how calm he is. He knows he’s being just annoying enough to get under your skin, but you can’t really shout at him without seeming like the villain.

He’s always one step ahead of you.

“Well,” you stammer, watching as his lips curve upwards into a smirk, “can you do your work somewhere else? Please?”

“Why?” Jungkook pushes. “I’m being quiet. I’m keeping to myself. What’s the harm?”

You sneer, narrowing your eyes suspiciously. “Are you sure that I can’t help you with anything?”

Jungkook chuckles. “Well, if you must ask, I was wondering if you were up for studying together sometime. Since you haven’t magicked me out of my seat, I’m assuming you don’t mind me actually being here.”

You sputter, trying to defend yourself. Of course you mind him being here. You mind him being within a twenty-feet radius of you. You were only asking because it’s very unlikely that Jeon Jungkook would just plop down in the seat across from you in the library, pull out his books, and begin to study without a single word. Especially if he was across from you. “W—Well, why on earth would I study with you anyway? What am I getting out of it?”

Jungkook tsks. “You know, Pumpkin, sometimes people do things out of the good of their hearts. Do you really need a reason to study with me, a poor Ravenclaw who’s just trying to graduate?”

You glare at him.

“Alright, alright,” Jungkook caves. “I need help in Transfiguration and I hear that you’re pretty good at it. There.”

“What am I getting out of it?”

“What, you won’t just do this for me? I’m wounded, Pumpkin.”

Another glare.

“Fine,” Jungkook says with a roll of his eyes. “A little bird told me that you need a bit of help in Defense, so I figured we could help tutor each other. You know, like one of those symbiotic relationships.”

“That snake,” you mutter under your breath. How could Yuju tell Jeon Jungkook, of all people, that you’re struggling in Defense Against the Dark Arts? How could she betray you like that?

“So, whaddaya say?” Jungkook asks, stretching a hand out across the table. “You in?”

You sigh. Spending more time than absolutely necessary with Jeon Jungkook sounds like your own personal hell, but you suppose it can’t all be bad. After all, he’ll be at your mercy just as much as you’ll be at his, seeing as you both need help in your respective classes. So maybe there is a silver lining, after all.

You meet his eyes directly, dark and stormy and certain. “I’m in.”

Against all odds and several vows you had made yourself over the years, studying with Jungkook becomes somewhat of a normal thing. You work out a schedule—Wednesdays at four, the only day he doesn’t have Quidditch practice and one of the few days of the week you’re not fretting over the newspaper issue—and follow it dutifully, weeks passing with the two of you meeting up at the same table in the library, going over the lessons of the week and working out anything you missed.

It’s strange, having a faithful and consistent arrangement with someone you, at one point, wouldn’t be caught dead spending time with. And the strangest part of it all is that slowly, some part of you, some crevice deep within your bones and your soul and your being, actually begins to look forward to Wednesdays at four, where Jungkook will be arriving at your usual table, unpacking his belongings with a soft smile on his face, unaware he’s being watched.

That’s the thing you’ve come to realize. You’ve only ever known Jungkook when he’s knows he’s center stage, when he knows that there are eyes on him. Every time you’ve been around him prior to this, he’s been in the spotlight, got someone who’s paying attention to him. And suddenly, you’re catching him whistling to himself as he takes notes from his Transfiguration textbook and sneezing when the feathers of his quill brush against his nose accidentally and doing little dances when he gets a question right. Suddenly, he’s existing in the background, by himself, without the hard gazes of the people around him. And it’s different.

Or maybe it’s always been like this. You’ve just never had the luxury of witnessing it.

“Hey, Pumpkin,” Jungkook says, tapping your parchment with his quill to get your attention. “Does this make sense to you? I don’t get it.”

He flips around his textbook and points to a passage, brows furrowed as he tries to read it again, hoping maybe the words will stick this time. You squint slightly—out of habit—as you go over the text, the words slowly processing.

“Oh, yeah,” you say, nodding. Jungkook looks up at you like you just saved his life. “It’s just explaining the technicalities of the difference between conjuring charms and traditional conjuring transfigurations. See, charms will enhance an already-existing object, but conjuring transfigurations create something new entirely. But it’s kind of confusing, I have to admit, since both exist in their own realm of magical spells.”

“So conjuring charms create something in addition to something else, but conjuring transfigurations just make something new, then?” Jungkook asks for clarification.

“Exactly.”

“Oh, alright,” Jungkook says with a dutiful nod, quickly scribbling it down in his notes. “You make it so much easier than this damn textbook.” He grins honestly, earnestly, as he goes back to reading the rest of the chapter, leaving you to your own devices once more. These days, it’s not so much direct tutoring as it is studying together.

Against all odds, Jeon Jungkook has become someone you actually don’t dread being around. In moments like these, he is soft-spoken, gentle, and sincere.

It’s strange. Has it always been like this?

Dear Y/N,

Good news: I think we’re friends. Or at least, I think we’re friends. I’m not sure about her, but I’d like to think she feels the same way. Except now, the problem is that because we’re friends, I’m getting more and more nervous! I swear, every time I’m around her my hands get all clammy and sweaty and disgusting because I’m scared that if I do end up confessing and she doesn’t feel that way, we’ll lose what we already have. But do we even have anything in the first place? I’m not even sure if she thinks we’re friends! What now?

Yours truly, A Slightly-Panicked Bambi

Dear A Slightly-Panicked Bambi,

Don’t worry! Chances are that if you think you’re friends, she probably thinks that you’re friends as well, which is a great step in the right direction. I’d say that now you’ve established yourselves as friends, your next move is to slowly reveal your romantic intentions. Don’t pile them on her all at once because it might be too overwhelming. Try subtly incorporating romantic gestures into your relationship as it is now, like compliments and really, really lowkey flirts, to see if she picks up on the message. See where that takes you!

Yours truly, Y/N

It’s snowing.

It’s been snowing, really, for the past week now. It was a couple centimeters on one day and a few more on another day but this weekend has been the full force of it, a steady blanket of white covering the grounds.

But that doesn’t mean the seventh year Hogsmeade trip is cancelled. As Yuju likes to put it, Hogwarts doesn’t believe in rainchecks. Besides, Hogsmeade always looks prettier in the snow, when the flakes leave a soft pillow on the sloped rooftops of the buildings and Honeydukes brings out its seasonal treats, sugared snowflakes and peppermint toffee lining the windowsill. The peppermint toffee is a favorite of both yours and Yuju’s, but you know where your true loyalties lie (Pumpkin Pasties, of course).

“Thank God it’s the beginning of the semester otherwise I would be so stressed right now,” Yuju says happily as you walk along the pavement, feeling the wet cold of snowflakes falling onto your nose, your ears, and your fingertips. “Oh! Hey!”

Your best friend starts waving wildly at a small group of students standing outside of The Three Broomsticks. Through the snow, you recognize them as some of Yuju’s Quidditch buddies.

“Mind if we hang out with them?” Yuju asks, knowing that sometimes you like to keep your Hogsmeade trips an exclusive between the two of you.

“The more the merrier, right?” You say in response, letting yourself be dragged over to where they’re waiting. It’s two Gryffindors, one Hufflepuff, and two Ravenclaws, one of whom is barely recognizable under the thick blue scarf he’s got wrapped around the lower half of his head and the beanie covering his brunette hair.

“Hey, Pumpkin,” he says, voice muffled through the knit of his scarf. “Didn’t know you’d be joining us.”

“Well, here I am,” you say. “You know I’m only here for Yuju, right?”

Jungkook chuckles, and you watch as the air he breathes out through his nose materializes into fog from the cold. “Sure, you keep telling yourself that.”

You gasp, smacking his arm. “What’s that supposed to mean!”

Jungkook laughs, no time to respond before your group is trotting off, everyone shouting out random sights to see, like the Shrieking Shack or Zonko’s, the snow making everyone’s hearts a little colder, a little softer, and a little lighter.

You bounce around, making stops at all of your favorite locations around the area, including The Three Broomsticks for a round of celebratory Butterbeer, marking your final year at Hogwarts and praying that you’ll all graduate.

“Okay, sue me, but hot apple cider is way better than Butterbeer,” Jungkook says loudly, a moustache of Butterbeer foam decorating his mouth. His words spark an eruption of indignant exclamations, Muggleborns and purebloods alike insisting that Jungkook’s tastebuds are incorrect and have to be clinically checked. Because he is wrong.

Except he isn’t, and hot apple cider on a cold day by a lit fireplace is better than lukewarm Butterbeer, or even hot Butterbeer, any day.

“This might be the only thing we ever agree on, but you’re right,” you mutter to him, leaning over to whisper it in his ear.

Jungkook grins proudly.

Later that day finds you in Honeydukes, which is objectively the best location in all of Hogsmeade, no arguments. What more could you want out of a place other than constant, never-ending sweets? Nothing. Every time you visit Hogsmeade you make sure to drop by Honeydukes, say hello to the kind old lady behind the counter (who knows you by name), and buy a couple of your favorite items.

“I’m so tempted to get like, five slices of the lemon merengue pie,” Yuju says with a sigh, eyeing the display case longingly.

“Aren’t you lactose intolerant?” You say, more of a reminder than a question.

“And what about it?” Yuju says, almost like a challenge, before marching up to the register, already fishing through her pockets for her purse.

Your eyes wander back to the glass case, thinking that maybe, after five years of coming to Hogsmeade, you should branch out and not get the exact same thing that you get every time you come to Honeydukes (the aforementioned Pumpkin Pasties). The peppermint toffee looks delicious, and even though you’ve never tried them before, Yeeun always fawns over the Fizzing Whizbees—says it’s a better way to levitate than trying to cast Wingardium Leviosa on yourself. Chocolate Frogs are a classic you very rarely indulge yourself in, and you could never go wrong with Cauldron Cakes—

“Pumpkin,” Jungkook says, giving you a small shove as he arrives next to you with a bag from Honeydukes, taped shut. His scarf has been pulled down below his chin, revealing his bright red nose from the sudden change in temperature from the chilly outside to the heated store. “Here.”

You narrow your eyes. “If this is a cockroach cluster I’m going to sock you in the face.”

“Just open it,” Jungkook says with a roll of his eyes.

You do as you’re instructed, albeit hesitantly, only to find three neatly-wrapped Pumpkin Pasties sitting at the bottom of the Honeydukes branded paper bag, waiting to be devoured.

“Oh, you didn’t have to do that,” you say softly, unable to stop the smile that spreads across your face. No one’s ever bought you sweets before. “Here, let me pay you back—”

“No need, Pumpkin,” Jungkook says, placing a cold hand on top of yours to stop you from getting your wallet out. “Consider it a thank you for all the time you spent helping me with Transfiguration.” You nearly shiver at the sensation of his skin meeting yours.

“Really?” You ask. “Well, thank you for thinking of me. I don’t know why you’re being so… nice to me, but it’s a pleasant change.”

Jungkook pouts. “Don’t you remember how I’m madly in love with you?” Of course, the moment you compliment him he turns back into his regular self. You shouldn’t have put it past him. “Had to honor your nickname, didn’t I?”

“Hey, do you want one?” You ask, figuring that it’s only right he gets to eat one of the treats he paid for.

“Sure,” Jungkook says happily, letting you pull one of the neatly packaged desserts out of the bag and place it in his hand. “Promise me you won’t throw up this one this time?”

For once, the memory of you vomiting up the contents of your stomach into a trashcan outside of Honeydukes doesn’t make you want to cringe. Instead, you laugh, recalling it with fondness as you and Jungkook clink together your Pumpkin Pasties like goblets filled with wine.

You giggle. “Don’t hold me to that.”

Thursday night finds you right where you always are, but with a new face across from you. Jungkook’s taken it upon himself to add onto your Wednesday evening study sessions, insisting he accompany you to dinner when you’re finished, and even on the next day as well, sometimes. You keep telling yourself that it’s because you’re best friends with Yuju, who knew Jungkook first through Quidditch. Because it’s highly improbable that Jungkook would want to join in on your Great Hall dinners just for you. Right?

“When’s the mail getting here?” Yuju huffs, poking at her half-eaten bowl of peas. “Dog’s the only one I know who’d actually want to finish my lukewarm buttered peas.”

“You know that the butter makes him throw up, Yuju,” you berate her. “Feed him something else. Preferably the food that I buy him that is meant for owls to consume.”

“But what else am I supposed to do with my peas? I don’t want to just leave them. That’s a waste,” Yuju exclaims.

“I’ll have ‘em,” Jungkook offers up. That’s one bonus of his sudden appearance at your dinner table—he’ll eat anything you won’t, like a food vacuum cleaner. “I love vegetables.”

Yuju looks hesitant. “I think I’ll just let Dog throw up.”

“Hey!” You shout at her.

Speaking of Dog, the mail begins to filter in, dozens of owls entering the Great Hall with packages hanging from their talons on their beaks, to be dropped off at their owners’ tables, right in front of their eyes. In the middle of the year, not many students are getting mail, but just like every other week, Dog appears faithfully to deliver your letters for the week.

“Is this the stuff for the Witches’ and Wizards’ Counsel?” Jungkook asks over a mouthful of chicken.

“Yeah,” you tell him, rubbing the side of Dog’s head as a thank you. “Oh, it’s a pretty small stack this week.”

“Guess no one’s having troubles this time of year,” Yuju comments, already beginning to spoon-feed Dog her peas. At this point, you don’t even care if Dog throws up. As long as he does it in the owlery, it won’t greatly inconvenience you.

You unwrap the tweed, letting it fall to the floor for one of the cats that roam the hallways of Hogwarts to play with, and begin to shuffle through the few letters that people sent you. It’s just enough for a full issue for the newspaper, thank God. “Hey, look. Bambi’s sent another one.”

Jungkook drops his fork onto his plate, the metal making a loud, disruptive clanking sound as it hits the glass. You, Yuju, and Dog, all turn to him, watching as he smiles guiltily, slowly picking up his fork and pretending that his clumsiness never happened.

“What’s this one about?” Yuju asks, hissing at Dog when he accidentally bites her finger.

“Lemme see,” you say, making to open the envelope.

“Who’s—Who’s Bambi?” Jungkook asks, mouth full. Dog seems to have notice the plethora of food still left on Jungkook’s plate, and is slowly making his way over to peck at Jungkook’s dinner rather than Yuju’s.

“Oh, just this guy who’s been sending me letters since the beginning of sixth year,” you muse happily. Jungkook nods, mumbling something unintelligible over his mouthful of food. “Sometimes he asks for advice but sometimes he just sends me kind words, which is honestly so thoughtful of him.”

“That’s nice,” Jungkook seems to say, though his words are quiet and muffled.

“And recently he’s been coming to me with questions about a girl that he likes and I just wish that I could give him better advice, you know?” You say, watching as Dog marches over to Jungkook, happily chewing on a piece of chicken he’s stolen from Jungkook’s plate, cooing contentedly. “Like, I feel like the advice I’m giving him on how to confess to this girl is the just what I would want if I was the girl, but obviously that’s not universal. Or at least, I don’t think it is. I don’t know. He’s always been so nice to me and I wish that I could give him better advice than what I’m giving him now.”

Jungkook nods again as acknowledgement that he’s still listening, though his eyes are trained on his plate as his hand instinctively comes up to rub at Dog.

Which strikes you as odd, because Dog doesn’t really cozy up to strangers, even if he will pick food off of their plates. He’s a relatively amicable owl—which is why he’s good for the your advice column, because he won’t bite at anybody’s fingers when they drop off their letters—but he won’t let just anyone pet him like Jungkook does. Like Jungkook is.

“Um,” you say, getting Jungkook’s attention. “Do you and Dog… know each other?” You ask, watching in some sort of trance as Jungkook scratches at Dog’s neck, making him coo happily.

“Me?” Jungkook asks, nearly sputtering. “No,” he says immediately. “I didn’t even know he was named Dog until today. Which, clever name, by the way. Why? Is he not normally, uh, like this?”

“No,” you say, suspiciously but of no one in particular. More just of the situation in general. “He doesn’t normally accept pets from strangers.”

Jungkook smiles down at Dog, who looks plenty happy to be receiving a good petting, regardless of the hand that’s giving it to him. “Guess I’m just different, then.”

“Yeah,” you say, nodding. You reach your fingers out to see if Dog will return to you, his rightful owner, but he’s firm in his will to stay right where Jungkook can rub him. “I guess so.”

Not even animals are immune to the bewitching charms of a certain Jeon Jungkook.

Dear Y/N,

Okay, maybe it’s just because I’m clueless but I’m not really sure if she’s picking up what I’m putting down, if you know what I mean. Maybe she is and I just haven’t noticed, but as far as I’m aware, we’re still just friends. Which is fine, and I’ll totally accept that without complaining, but I haven’t even told her how I feel. Do you think I should just go for it? I mean, I don’t know what else to do at this point. Honestly, I feel like I just need to come clean and deal with the consequences in an appropriate and relaxed manner. She probably doesn’t even feel the same, but that’s okay. As long as I try, right?

Yours truly, A Very Fretful Bambi

Dear A Very Fretful Bambi,

At this point, I think that you can take matters into your own hands. If you want to confess to her, I’d say go for it! You’ve made your intentions fairly clear at this point. And it’s okay if she doesn’t feel the same—you guys are still friends, after all! I don’t know you personally, but you seem like a confident, strong-willed person and if you feel ready, then there’s no reason not to tell her. The worst she can do is say no, right? But, if you’re as kind as you’ve made yourself out to be since you first began to message me, then I don’t think she will. Good luck!

Yours truly, Y/N

The halls of the castle are eerily quiet at this hour. The moon shines through the big glass windows that line the corridors, casting its pale white light along the frescos that decorate the walls. You’ve been down this path plenty of times before, plenty of sleepless nights and tired eyes behind you, behind your seven years here. By now, you could walk this road in your sleep. You bet you have.

The astronomy tower is the most beautiful place in all of Hogwarts. Sure, students may insist that the ceiling of the Great Hall is the most picturesque, or their common rooms are the most homey, but the grounds are the most breathtaking, but all of those pale in comparison to the glass ceiling of the astronomy tower, showered in stars and planets above on a clear night, like your very own planetarium. Pale in comparison to the telescope you look through during class, catching glimpses of faraway galaxies that light up their own little corners of the universe.

It’s a wondrous place to be, the astronomy tower on a clear night, where you can empty your thoughts into the world and let the stars see inside your mind, watch as they twinkle their responses. And so, it’s no wonder that you most often find yourself here when the comfort of your dormitory isn’t enough, when sleep just won’t overtake you like it does most other nights.

Only, this time, when you open the door, the shadow of someone sitting on the steps that look out onto the glass balcony is waiting for you.

“Hello?” You ask into the silence, hearing your voice echo along the walls.

The shadow turns, and suddenly the side of Jungkook’s face is bathed in the light from the moon and the stars, half of his profile hidden from view and the other basking in a white, nightly glow. It’s stunning.

“Pumpkin?” He asks in response.

“What are you doing up here?” You ask, walking over to him. He’s curled up on the steps, leaning against one of the pillars with his knees pulled up to his chest, like a baby.

“’M just thinking, Pumpkin,” Jungkook muses. “Care to join me?”

Your legs move before your brain does, making to sit down next to him, when you falter, thinking that if Jungkook’s going to blab to you at two in the morning on a spring night, you’d rather just go back to your common room and do your thinking there. That’s the beauty of thinking—it’s in silence.

“I mean, I don’t really want to disturb you, you know,” you say tentatively, backing up.

“Aw, please?” Jungkook asks, pushing his lip out into a pout as he blinks up at you. In the moonlight, in the starlight, in the light of the faraway galaxies and planets and supernovas, Jungkook’s eyes look like they’re swimming in stars. “It’s lonely up here.”

And maybe it’s your love for the astronomy tower that keeps you there, or maybe it’s the way he looks at you or the way he’s curled up like a pillbug as he watches the stars slowly shift across the sky, but you take your seat next to him, a good bit of distance between the two of you as you slowly make yourself comfortable, watching out onto the glass balcony at the quiet of the world beneath you.

There aren’t enough words in the English language to describe what this feels like. To describe how, after years of toil and trouble, years of back-and-forth teasing and insults, you and Jungkook have found yourself sitting together in the dim light of the astronomy tower late one weekday night at the end of your final year of school, watching the stars together. It’s almost surreal, in a way. That every moment in the universe has led up to this. Up to you being here.

Never have you spent so much time together in silence.

Jungkook seems to shimmer in the moonlight. Perhaps it’s just because the moonlight bathes everyone in a heavenly glimmer, but Jungkook looks particularly dazzling, like the very fabric of his bones were made of stardust. Strange. You’d never felt particularly attracted to him, not when his big mouth and obnoxious personality overshadowed his looks, but you’ve never been one to deny his timelessness. He’s always been handsome—his looks will never go out of style. So maybe that’s why, when he sits beneath the moon and the stars, he glows. Because the moon knows that Jungkook can only get prettier.

“Pumpkin,” Jungkook says, breaking the silence with nothing more than a whisper. “I’ve got a question.”

“What?”

“Do you ever think that maybe, with certain things, you should just give up? Because you don’t know if you’ll ever get what you really want?”

“What?” You ask again, eyes wide open as you look at him. “You? Giving up? What alternate universe is this?”

Jungkook laughs, but it’s soft and half-hearted. “I don’t know. I’m just—I’m not sure if this thing that I’m trying to do is going to work out, you know?”

In the five years you have known Jungkook, as a student, as a Quidditch player, and even, dare you say, a friend, never have you imagined him being one to give up.

“Okay,” you say, “I know that maybe right now, the outlook isn’t looking promising. But you should never give up, especially if you haven’t gotten an outright no. If you don’t know for certain the future of your situation, then why should you stop working for the future that you want? You’re Jeon Jungkook, you don’t give up on anything. You work super hard for your grades and when you don’t understand something in Transfiguration you work at it until you do, and you spend hours on the Quidditch field trying to perfect ur eyesight to catch the Snitch even though there’s no magical spell for 20/20 vision, and you work your hardest and do your best and thats why you’re good at school and amazing at Quidditch and—”

“You think I’m amazing at Quidditch?”

You look over at Jungkook to see that he’s closed the gap between the two of you, his shoulder coming to rest right next to yours, and he’s looking at you with a misty haze in his eyes, the stars above you clouded and foggy in his dark irises. But he’s grinning, and grinning wide, because you just gave this totally unwarranted pep talk to him and told him he was amazing at Quidditch and a great student and everything else that you said, and Oh, God.

“Yeah…” You say hesitantly, “but don’t get a big head, asshole.”

“Believe me,” Jungkook says with a scoff, “the only big parts about me are my love for you.” You narrow your eyes. “That, and one other thing.”

You gasp in shock, totally unsurprised yet caught off guard nonetheless by his words, giving him a small shove against the staircase. But you’re not scowling, or frowning, or glaring at him. You’re laughing, because suddenly Jeon Jungkook is not just amazing at Quidditch, and a great student. He’s wonderful. In every way he is, and it might just be the way the moon illuminates him ever so perfectly that’s making you feel this way, but maybe this has been a long time coming.

Here’s the thing about Jeon Jungkook: he wasn’t always such a nuisance.

Because when you weren’t watching him, when he was sitting in his dorm room studying, or hiding in the astronomy tower, or wandering through the bookshelves in the library, he was quiet, and beautiful, and looked at the world like it had so much to offer him. When Jeon Jungkook let the world around him exist without him being in the spotlight, he was everything but a nuisance.

And even when he was acting loud, and being big, and teasing you, he wasn’t doing it to hurt. He was doing it because all he could tease you about was how much he loved you, whatever that meant, and how his heart was yours and how if you just opened your eyes you’d see him, and suddenly your vision’s never been clearer and he’s right there, in front of you. And it’s crazy, how these things work. How suddenly, everything’s been flipped on its side because, as it turns out, your heart is his.

How this moment, right here, sitting on the steps in the astronomy tower as the stars twinkle like Christmas lights above you, was fourteen billion years in the making. And the best part? It was worth the wait.

“Come on, hurry up!” Yeeun shouts at you as you’re quickly filing through the letters you received last night. You were too rushed to check them at dinner, what with Yuju on your arm stress-eating because of the Quidditch match she had to compete in the next day, the final one of the season. “I want good seats so we can see Yuju!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” you say, quickly tearing open the first envelope so you can give it a quick glance over, planning on writing your responses over the weekend, after the Quidditch Cup. Yeeun’s standing in front of the mirror, trying to fix her Slytherin beanie, alongside the rest of the green and silver memorabilia she’s decked herself out in.

You open the first one and recognize the handwriting instantly, the familiar calligraphy of Dear Y/N, this one looking particularly nice. Like the person writing it had taken their time, done it with purpose.

Dear Y/N,

This may or may not be my last letter, depending on how this goes. But I just wanted you to know that on Friday, I’ll be in the air with the rest of my house, playing our very best game of the season. And I’ll be searching for the Snitch, as I’m supposed to, but above even that, I’ll be looking out for you. Because I love you, and more than anything else, I just wanted you to know that.

P.S.: Feel free not to respond to this one publicly.

Yours truly, Bambi

And the piece of paper drops to the floor, the hard edges of it hitting the hardwood with a soft thud.

Because that letter, and all of the ones coming before it, ever since the beginning of sixth year, could have only been written by one person. Someone who’s in your year, and a seeker for their house’s Quidditch team. And it’s certainly not your team’s seeker, because she’s a girl and also a fifth year. Someone who’s playing in this year’s Quidditch Cup. A Ravenclaw.

Holy shit.

“Come on, slowpoke! We have to go!” Yeeun says excitedly, running over to you and grabbing onto your arm. She pulls you out the door before your brain has a chance to process the information you just learned, the letter you just read. And you spend the entire journey to the bleachers of the Quidditch field in a daze, barely cognizant of the world around you, even as Madam Hooch blows her whistle and begins the game, even as the players whiz around on their brooms above you. Next to you, Yeeun’s screeching, or maybe she isn’t—you can’t really be sure, with the noise in your brain. You think that you wave to Yuju when she passes by your section of the bleachers, winking down at your group, but you’re not sure.

The only thing you remember is seeing Jungkook, in all of his Ravenclaw glory, sitting proudly atop his Firebolt as he darts around the field like a bullet, eyes keenly looking out for the Snitch. You only ever see him play when it’s against Slytherin, but you can say with certainty that in his entire Quidditch career, this is the best he’s ever played. The most he’s dedicated himself to his sport, the hardest he’s ever worked. He flies above the crowd and it’s as if the very fabric of the air is at his beck and call, bends to his will. You don’t need to know much about Quidditch to know that Jungkook is a good player, but this game is better than good. It’s inspiring.

And it pays off, too, because suddenly the commentator is screaming into the microphone that “Jeon Jungkook has caught the Snitch! Ravenclaw wins!” and the entire quarter of Ravenclaws have burst into cheers while the Slytherin quarter begins to sulk, beaten at their chance to win the Quidditch Cup. And Jungkook is coming to a halt in the middle of the field, the golden Snitch, sparkling in the sun, clenched tightly in between his fingers as the rest of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team crowds around him, chanting “Jeon Jungkook! Jeon Jungkook! Jeon Jungkook!”

Your very last Quidditch Cup as a Hogwarts student and you couldn’t remember more than ten seconds of it if you tried. It passed you by in a blur, a haze of movement and shouts and cheers, and suddenly the bleachers around you are half as filled as they were before, and then a quarter as filled, and then only stragglers are left, gathering their belongings and heading back to the Slytherin common room, where your house is bound to party despite losing, as a celebration of a team that worked as hard as they possibly could.

“Hey, Y/N,” Yeeun says, a hand on your arm. She looks awfully sad, but she’s still got one more year to see Slytherin win the Quidditch Cup. She’ll be alright. “You coming?”

You look out onto the field to see the Ravenclaw Quidditch team pulling each other into a giant hug, everyone patting each other on the backs and cheering after a successful season. And somewhere, in the center of that pile, is a certain brown-haired boy with the stars lacing his eyes.

“In a second, I just have to do something first,” you tell Yeeun, who shrugs in response and flutters off by herself.

You move before your brain can tell you to stop, for fear that if your mind catches up to your legs, you’ll chicken out. Slowly, but certainly, you make your way out of the bleachers and onto the field, feeling so much smaller now that your feet are firmly on the ground, the seats meters above you. You’ve never been onto the actual Quidditch field. Well, until now, at least.

Blinking, you take a deep breath and march right up to the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, who have given Jungkook hug after hug for bringing their team and house to victory, and you shout, “JEON JUNGKOOK!”

And Jungkook whips his head around, sweaty and gross and exhausted and beautiful, and he says, “Yes, Pumpkin?”

And you fist your hand into his damp Ravenclaw Quidditch uniform and pull him into a bruising kiss, his lips crashing against yours, still warm from all the blood rushing through his veins. He makes a pleasantly surprised non-sound into your mouth, eyes crinkling up into half moons as he pulls you in, letting his gloved hand wrap around your waist. Behind him, the entire Ravenclaw Quidditch team has burst into hoots and hollers, but you barely hear them. All you can see, feel, and imagine, is him.

When you part, he looks dazed, kiss drunk, grinning his lopsided grin. He’s never looked prettier. “What’s all this about, Pumpkin?” He asks, even though he already knows the answer. “I thought you hated me.”

“Wrong again, Jeon,” you tell him instantly, shaking your head. “I don’t hate you. I love you.”

Jungkook can’t help but smile, wide as the goddamn ocean, wrapping his hand around you once more and pulling you back into another kiss, this one even more intense than the last. Your hands come up to rest against his cheeks, blushing red from the adrenaline pumping through him, letting your body melt against the heat of his own. He keeps you close, pulls you in impossibly closer, lets his entire body wrap around yours, lets his lips dance along your own, plush and warm and searing. And Jungkook is beautiful, and wonderful, and perfect, and suddenly, he’s yours.

Dear Y/N,

Okay, this is definitely my final letter. Because I can just talk to you if I actually have a problem. I just wanted to remind you, Thursday-night Y/N, as you read through all of the letters for this week, that I love you. In case you forgot. So, I love you.

Yours truly, Bambi

hard to believe this series is over already!! thank you so much to everyone, from my silent followers to the ones that message me daily, you guys are the reason i did this. the reason i wrote 70k of pure hogwarts aus. for you guys!!! i’m extremely proud of where i’ve come with this series, and it’s crazy that it’s over !

as i previously mentioned, it’s my blog’s 2 year anniversary today, and i suppose it’s only fitting i post a self-indulgent jungkook fic to commemorate it, seeing as that very genre was the first fic i ever posted on this blog. thank you again, to everyone, for these past two years. despite the trash pile that is tumblr, you make this website a wonderful place to be. here’s to many more!