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successfulgoddess333 · 7 months ago

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HELLO MY DARLINGS

PLEASE READ

So I have heard that even I manifested for everyone

It may not work for everyone

Because you still have to persist yourself

Kinda like this

You could manifest for a job but you still have to work

Someone told me this

And then said that those who promised to manifest in the void for others said that they tried but couldn’t do it for everyone

So their followers called them liars

Please don’t do that

We are the Gods of our OWN reality

Do it yourself

I’m here to guide you

Here’s a step by step guide that actually helped someone get super close and helped me get in!!!

First

What is the void state?

The void state is the deepest type of meditation

It is the state of pure consciousness where your body is asleep but the righty side of your brain is awake

Why we need to keep the right side of our brain awake?

Because the right side of our brain is more “creative”

We have two sides of our brain

They’re called “Hemispheres”

Left hemisphere(left side of brain)

Is for your every day activities you use more of during certain classes at school

This sides more logical

Meaning it knows things like

“1+1=2” “You eat cereal with a spoon spaghetti with a fork”

When you stay still for 15-20 minutes not only is your body asleep but your left hemisphere is also asleep

How to enter the void state

To enter the void state one must simply

In the void state anything is possible

You can revise death, heal someone from something, gain magical powers

Become famous be a billionaire marry your celebrity crush wake up next to your SP

Be the coolest person in the world

Have pink hair etc

Nothing is impossible

If you lost someone you could literally manifest in the void they’re still alive and healthy

Here are the steps to entering the void:

1. Get comfortable I don’t care if you lay down or sit up just be in a position where you feel comfy

2. Put on an instrumental to your favorite song if it’s relaxing enough it can even be a rap song

Just no lyrics

Make sure it’s upbeat enough to make you happy and keep you awake

Or a slow pop instrumental I don’t care if it’s Billie Eilish etc

Any song instrumental that gets you in your mood

3. Whilst listening to your instrumental, I want you to start daydreaming

Visualize your dream life

Picture that everything is perfect the way you want it

The 3D can be altered that’s why it’s an illusion

In this very moment that you’re lying down the only thing that’s important is your mind

Allow your thoughts to pass they don’t even matter

Shift those thoughts into your daydream

Fantasize about your dream life

Feel happy feel good

4. While daydreaming about your desires

I want you to picture your desired self as vividly as you can picture them staring into your eyes

Breathing with you

The breathing method I want you to try during this is

The “444” method

Breathe in on 4

Like this

As you’re breathing in through your nose count to 4 in your head or out loud

Then hold it

Release on the count of 8

So hold it then release on 8

Do I this until you feel super relaxed

Now imagine your desired self

Counting to a hundred with you

With each breath in you both count together

What you’re doing here is you are becoming in sync with your desired self

As she/he/they( your desired self) stares into your eyes

Let them count with you picture them just staring at you with a comfy smile and counting with you

Until you reach maybe 100 or 200 whatever you choose

5. After counting

Still imagine your desired self

Imagine they’re telling “you always wake up in the void”

Repeat after them start saying

“I always wake up in the void “

Create affirmations for them to say

And just repeat after them but using first place like they’ll say “You are pure consciousness” so you say “I am pure consciousness”

Become in synch with your desired self as if your souls are one because truthfully this desired version of you is already you

You’re just forming a deeper connection with them in this very moment

6. Start saying together “I am in the void”

7. that’s it

If you’re not in by now

I need you to focus on talking to your desired self today become in synchronized with them

This will help you feel a stronger connection with your desires instead of putting them on a pedestal

Subliminals to use

For Alpha waves

What is Alpha waves?

Alpha waves are a mindfulness meditation exercise that helps relief stress and many other things

The alpha state of mind is a relaxed state of consciousness while awake when the brain produces alpha waves instead of beta waves. Alpha waves can help reduce stress increase productivity, and boost creativity. Some techniques that may help you enter the alpha state include:

(Credit to google haha)

Examples of when you’re in the Alpha wave state

1. When you sit down to watch tv for awhile

2.While studying

3.Maybe reading a book

These are examples of things we do that trigger the alpha state

To get into the alpha wave

Listen to the subliminal above with the waves included

During this subliminal

Focus on deep breathing

Calm your mind

Slow down your heart rate

The frequency of alpha should be at 8 to 13 HZ

The video I mentioned above is at a frequency of 11 HZ

ISOCHRONIC TONES

Isochronic tones are tones that basically forces your brain waves to move in synch with the frequency you’re listening to

Isochronic tones is what I like to call “Synchronized tones “

You can use binaural beats but these and isochronic tones are the not the same

The differences are

Binaural beats are separate frequencies functioning together

While isochronic tones are frequencies of a singular wave

You could use either one

“What if you can’t visualize?”

No worries!

If you are unable to visualize like I was I want you to practice this method instead

The non visualization method:

Requires no daydreaming no visualization

How to enter void with a clear mental image

1. As stated before get into a comfortable position

2. Put on either subliminal or instrumental

3. Close your eyes and instead of visualizing

I want you to lay completely still

In about 15 minutes or when you feel it’s been awhile

Start moving your eyes rapidly

Not too fast

You know when you’re fake sleeping and your mom tries to see if you’re actually asleep

Like that move your eyes

Not like you WANT to wake up but more like as in you are dreaming

This will trick you into thinking you’re in the “R.E.M” state

The REM state also known as “Rapid eye movement”

This occurs when your brain waves and your mind are becoming consciously aware

You’ll feel like waking up because you’re in the process of waking up

But you’re still asleep

This where you dream

Or if you have Aphantasia(the inability to visualize) whether your dream or not

Many people with aphantasia still dream they’re just low in sensory

Anyways during REM sleep

You’re basically half awake half asleep

The duration is about 90 minutes

To trick yourself into thinking you’re in the REM state

After awhile of laying still and tricking your body into thinking you’re asleep

Move your eyes rapidly

You’ll start seeing little lights or colors that’s behind your eyelids

These are called “phosphenes”

Focus on these colors behind your eyes

Until you feel you’ve are in a self induced trance

You might end up in the hypnagogic state

Hypnagogia are phoshenes which is where you’re between awaking consciousness and sleep

You’ll hallucinate different patterns shapes smells etc

This is just extra information

The main key here is if you can’t visualize

Trick your body into thinking you’re the REM state by moving your eyes

And focusing on the lights shapes sparkles or colors you see behind your eyes

4. When you feel like your mind is blank/fuzzy at this point

Start affirming or counting or both while still focusing on the colors

This helps you take the focus off of your surroundings and your body

Because at this point you’ll be feeling symptoms

If you don’t it doesn’t mean you’re not doing it right

You don’t need symptoms

They’re your bodies reaction to falling asleep

That floating feeling

Is also part of your body falling asleep

You ever had dream you were falling and you wake up thinking you were falling?

The void requires no symptoms

So if you get some don’t get excited

It just means your body is full asleep

It only takes 15 minutes to fall asleep

The Gateway Experience

First and foremost it’s important to know not to use too many different brain wave audios choose a few you resonate with the most

This audio below is from either the 60s or 80s

Anyways it’s been proven by the CiA that the void state exists

Monks have done for centuries tapping into it whilst chanting the OM mantra

Below I’ve provided the hemi synch subliminal and a theta wave subliminal one with the OM mantra one without

And one is for shifting realities but you can block out the shifting affs if you just wanna enter the void

We have different brain waves here’s what each one is and used for

Beta wave: Alertness awakened consciousness active thinking

Examples

You in school or work

Theta wave: Creativity

Dreaming deep meditative states

Examples

Meditation or when you’re about to fall asleep

Delta waves: Deep sleep

Reduced waking consciousness

Examples

Deep sleeping

Epilson waves: Spiritual awareness and insight along with inspiration

Subliminals I recommend

And good luck guys

I love you babies so much

But please remember not to give these subliminals or even me

Power

The power lies within you

So if these work

It’s because you allow them too

You might think you’re self concept is good

But there’s two versions of your mind

Your 3D brain and your 4D brain

Your 4D brain is where your imagination lies

Your 3D brain is you right now

Both are you but they must both be in synch

Your 3D brain needs to also know your power

In other words you could say all you want that you’re “The God of your reality” or that you “Enter the void easily”

But you need to actually believe it

Many believe that reprogramming the subconscious mind takes months or weeks have clearly never of Psych k

Psych k is a method that aligns both sides of the brain in tune to absorb whatever information you tell it

It’s supposed to require your brain in only minutes

Watch this video to learn how to do it

youtube

I know some success stories are exaggerated but never get discouraged if you do

Search “Electra Soul” on YouTube

She helped me when I needed the motivation

Here is more subliminals for you to try out

Don’t ask people to enter for you

Because it’s not 100% guaranteed even if it was

Everything in your life

Is the way this because of how YOU assume it to be

Change your assumptions

If I entered for everyone but you still have a shitty self concept

Your life would not be better that’s like me giving a kid homework for something he’s already been taught

But he still expects me to do it for him

How else does he learn? He does it himself

Then if he needs help he asks

Reason why they’re called “TEACHers” to teach you the things you need to know not do it for you

Plus you feel so much more accomplished and confident when you get things done by yourself

At the end of the day all you have is you

We’re all just random strangers

Your subconscious mind is not a person so stop talking at it

But talk TO it

It’s like a tape recorder

The current tape that’s in is repeating negative affirmations that’s you’ve subconsciously embeddeded into your mind

Change the tape

Re record those thoughts

Place them with wanted desired thoughts

Here’s more subs for you as I mentioned earlier

youtube

Hemi Synch

youtube

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demxters · 1 year ago

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—LOVING YOU IS ENOUGH

frat!jake seresin x f!reader

dagger squad college!au

summary: a week after the fight that tore you apart, jake finds out about the accident. (part 2 of a losing game)

wc: 9.3k

warning(s): 18+, fem!reader, no y/n (reader goes by nickname ace), recommended to read a losing game first, angst galore, swearing, mentions of alcohol, drunk driving (don't do it), bad parental relationships, academic pressure, hospitals, description of injuries

part of the loving you universe || find it on ao3 here

𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐃𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊, 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒, 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐄𝐃 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐀𝐏𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃!

Jake Seresin used to think he had no regrets in his life. Every time he was close to feeling as if that were so, the universe found a way to turn it around and prove to him that he made the right choice. Choosing to go to USC for instance, instead of staying in his home state of Texas, he thought was the biggest mistake he had made in his life. Then USC led him to Delta Chi where he made lifelong friends, and ultimately he met you. So no, Jake Seresin had no regrets in life. Yet as he sat under the fluorescent white lights of the sterile hospital waiting room, Jake was able to think of one.

All the days passed by in a blur, with Jake finding himself in a robotic routine that helped him get through the day:

Wake up

Go to class

Eat

Do not think about Ace

Nap

Eat

Do not think about Ace

(attempt to) Sleep

It wasn’t the healthiest of routines, but it was enough to keep him surviving. At least until he began receiving your texts. Your apologies and declarations of love made him weak, making it much harder for him to stand his ground and give himself the space that he told himself he needed. With each passing day, he found it harder to convince himself that space is what he actually wanted. So he silenced your notifications. The bright red badge continued to grow in number and it took all of his power to not give in and click your contact.

By the fifth day, Jake thought he was actually doing pretty well. He was even studying for his finals and going to every single one of his study groups that you had suggested he try. Even as one thing or another always led back to a reminder of you, his self control was much more restrained and he felt just a little bit lighter.

Jake missed you like hell, that was for sure. But maybe this fight was a sign for him to work on himself. To be better not just for you, but for himself as well.

So he did what he thought was best by pulling a page from your book and choosing to throw himself into his work. He shut everyone out, refusing to go to any outings with Javy and the gang. He didn’t answer his phone and barely left his room other than to go to classes or use the bathroom. Jake ignored the fact that in doing so, he was neglecting his physical and mental health. In turn, making this coping strategy of his more harmful than good. While he thought his obsession with his isolation and studying was “making himself better,” he didn’t realize that the only thing he was really doing was actively avoiding the problem at hand.

But as day seven rolled around, Jake’s fake it till you make it attitude came crashing down. Upon returning back to his and Javy’s shared room in the Frat House after his final exam, Jake fell onto his bed and finally let himself feel.

Jake Seresin has never felt so alone. After days of avoiding, he gave himself permission to think about you–to miss you. Remembering the last time he saw you and the last moment you shared, he could feel the tears that began to gather on his lash line. Too tired to hold it in, he let his emotions go. He let the sobs and cries for help he has been burying in his chest break free. He was tired, so damn tired, of pretending like everything was okay. Like he was okay.

He wanted someone to notice that something was off with him, that something happened to make him feel absolutely miserable in his own skin. However, everyone was too caught up in their own whirlwinds of final exams, studying, and relationships to notice that Jake was struggling to stay afloat without his life preserver–without you.

His heart ached and longed for you. Your voice, your touch, your love. If he could take it all back he would. He would’ve come back to you without a second thought. Jake would have gathered you in his arms and sat with you all night long until the two of you could work it out. Because he wasn’t Hangman anymore. He wouldn’t leave you out to dry. Yet somehow he managed to do exactly that.

With the only thing on his mind being you, he finally mustered up the courage to read all of the texts you had sent him days prior. The first few made his heart ache, reading your heartfelt apologies and declarations of love was enough to make him start crying all over again. Teary eyed smiles graced his features at your small anecdotes and pictures of things that reminded you of him.

He could hear your voice and see your mannerisms in his head at each text he reads through.

Jake’s euphoria is interrupted by the fifth call he has received from Natasha. He rolls his eyes before immediately declining her call. Nat probably finally talked to you about what happened and he figured she was calling to rip him a new one. He definitely wasn’t in the mood for that right now.

His smile grows as he scrolls through his phone, especially at the photo of a golden retriever you saw on campus that “looked like him.” A playful scoff leaves him at that as he imagines the way you would’ve jumped up and down on the tips of your toes, clutching onto his arm, as you justified how he was a golden retriever in human form. This was the closest he felt to you in days and he wished for it to never end.

Jake continued on, savoring every good night and “I love you” text, every apology, and every good luck you wished him on his exams. Though one series of texts was enough to have the fullness in Jake’s heart flushed empty. He reads them over and over again, praying that he read them wrong.

I failed my exams, Jake. I don’t know what to do.

His heart skips a beat.

I can’t go home this summer. I won’t. I can’t face my parents, they’ll hate me forever.

But the worst of them all, the one he begs was a prank being played on him by the universe read: I’m taking your silence as a sign that I’ve fucked us up beyond repair. I love you, Jake Seresin, even if you no longer love me.

He’s going to be sick. Sure he was mad, but he never wanted you to ever think that he didn’t love you anymore. That was just a statement that could never be true. Jake was done wallowing. He was done making you both suffer because he wasn’t man enough to confront you. Swallowing his fears and his pride, he begins formulating a text to ask you to meet him at The Hard Deck–somewhere familiar, though not too intimate just yet.

He’s about to press send when a phone call from Javy interrupts his screen. Jake instantly presses decline, however, he barely has another second before Javy’s name pops up again.

With an agitated sigh, Jake finally answers the phone, swearing up and down that whatever he was calling for better be something good. “The hell you want, Javy?”

“Jake–” he starts.

“Look, I’ve been getting calls from Nat all day and I’m assuming that’s why you’re calling me right now,” Jake vents. “But I really, really don’t have time for a lecture from either of you right now, man.”

“Jake.” Javy’s voice shifts into something more somber, more serious. “Ace’s been in an accident.”

It’s as if his feet have processed the information long before his brain did. Jake blacks out, barely recognizing the actions in which he’s pulling on his shoes and rushing out of his room and into the common living area.

The air is knocked out of his lungs, forcing him to grasp for leverage on the edge of the table. Jake can hear Bradley asking what’s wrong but all he can focus on is Javy’s breathing, the sound of people rushing around in the background. The phone slips from his hand and he feels like his entire rib cage is caving in on itself, crushing his heart. Black spots swim on his vision and there’s a hand on his chest telling him to breathe.

“Come on, Seresin,” Bradley’s voice comes through. “Breathe.”

A heavy exhale escapes him as he desperately tries to catch his breath. He’s muttering an incoherent string of words, stumbling his way through the room and trying to get to the front door.

Bradley is right on his tail, yanking on his own pair of shoes and grabbing the phone that Jake haphazardly dropped on the floor in the middle of his attack. “You gotta tell me what’s going on, man, you’re scaring me.”

Jake abruptly stops at the front door, turning to look at Bradley over his shoulder with something worse than heartbreak in his eyes. He doesn’t say anything more other than, “Ace. It’s Ace.”

That’s all Bradley needs to hear before he’s grabbing the car keys from Jake’s hands and dialing Javy’s number back into Jake’s phone.

Jake could hardly remember when he got to the hospital, let alone how he was able to navigate himself to get to the ER without help when the only thing on his mind was you. He couldn’t even recall what Javy had said about the extent of your injuries, just that you were still unconscious from the car accident.

Upon reaching the ER Jake saw Nat sitting in the waiting room with her head in her hands while Javy sat beside her and gently rubbed a comforting hand up and down her back.

Bradley and Jake’s heavy footsteps alert the couple. Nat’s head shoots up, her red rimmed and teary eyes locking on Jake’s. She’s storming over in seconds, pushing at his chest angrily.

“Why the hell didn’t you pick up your phone?”

“Nat–” he starts, only to be silenced with another harsh shove. He takes the brunt of the hit, knowing he deserved every single one and worse. “I’m sorry.” Jake winces at how pathetic he sounds.

Natasha shakes her head with disappointment clouding her features. “Sorry isn’t gonna fix this.”

Javy joins the group, nodding at Bradley as he gestures for him to sit down. He places a hand on Jake’s shoulder asking him to do the same. He only brushes Javy’s hand off, taking a step closer to Nat.

“Is she…is she okay?” He braces himself for the worst. Jake’s heart beats so fast against his ribcage that he swears he could feel the muscle begin to ache.

Natasha inhales shakily before collapsing into the nearest seat. “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean you don’t know?” The fear in his veins begins to mix with annoyance and fury. The rational side of him knew he shouldn’t be mad at Nat, but the only thing occupying his thoughts was the idea of you not being okay. Having to hear that you were in the hospital was already bad enough. He doesn’t think he could take anything more.

“I mean, I don’t know!” Nat’s voice rises with that same frustration and fear. “All the lady on the phone said was that she was in a car accident with four other people from our school. From what I understand, the others made it out okay, but the car that t-boned them…” Her voice wavers, recalling the words she heard earlier that evening and imagining the worst. “The other car hit Ace’s side head on. She took most of the impact. The other four made it out okay with barely any scratches.”

Jake’s hands are shaking as he braces them on his knees, desperate to catch his breath. He didn’t realize his knees had hit the floor until he felt the sting from the solid ground. But he didn’t have it in him to care about anything other than you right now. Jake desperately tries to piece everything together from your texts from the night before but nothing was making sense. Everything he was trying to understand came out between shallow breaths. “Where did she go? Why was she out so late? Who was she with? Why weren’t any of you with her?”

“Jake,” Bradley interferes, squeezing his shoulder as a gentle reminder to breathe.

Jake catches the way Javy clenches his jaw from the corner of his eye which has him demanding answers. “Javy.” There was something his friends weren’t telling him, making the searing hot anger in his blood begin to boil.

Nat saves her boyfriend by giving up the information for him. “Before you get upset, you need to understand that she didn’t tell any of us where she was going. None of us had really seen her lately and just assumed she was stressed out from finals. We didn’t think things were this bad.”

“What aren’t you guys telling me?”

“Jake,” Javy starts cautiously. He kneels down beside his friend, speaking nice and slow, almost like he was conversing with a child. “If we tell you, you have to promise to stay calm.”

He scoffs in disbelief, rolling his eyes at his best friend. “How do you think I’ll be able to stay calm? I just found out my girlfriend has been in an accident and no one wants to tell me what the hell is going on!”

“Javy, just tell him. He deserves to know,” Bradley sighs.

“Damn right, I deserve to know. I’m her boyfriend!” Jake’s seething as he gets up and starts pacing back and forth. People are beginning to stare but he doesn’t give a damn.

It’s Nat’s turn to grow agitated. “Really? Because last I heard the two of you were on a break.”

“Wait, what?” Javy looks at his best friend in bewilderment.

Nat shoots him a look that says, I’ll explain it all later.

“Doesn’t matter if we were on a break or not. She’s still my girl and I need to know what happened.”

The conviction in his tone and the strength on his face are enough to make Javy and Nat cave. Hiding this from him would only make things worse than they already were.

Nat doesn’t dare to meet Jake’s eye as she says, “She was with some Alpha Sigs and their girlfriends. Everyone in the car was intoxicated. Even the guy at the wheel. They were coming from the Alpha Sig house. I don’t know what the hell they were doing in a car like that but I know the Sigs are in interrogation with the police right now.”

Bradley clenches his fist. “Those bastards.”

“Ace was the only one whose condition was critical.” The word critical falls short on her tongue, being whispered into the tense atmosphere.

Jake’s silence is unnerving. They were expecting an outburst of some sort. Some screaming, maybe even some physical aggression yet not of it came. The sound that fell from Jake’s lips was worse than anything they could’ve imagined.

It was as if everyone in the room heard his heartbreak as he was unable to control the tears that fell from his eyes. The feeling of overwhelming guilt rushed over him at the realization that he should have been there. That this was all his fault. You would have never humored the idea of an Alpha Sig party in the first place if the two of you had just talked everything out. But you weren’t thinking straight, and neither was he, leading the both of you towards the path of least resistance. Instead, Jake had to be stubborn and sensitive. He couldn’t just man up and admit that you were more important than his ego and pride.

Nothing matters to him anymore upon his epiphany other than needing to see you. You were the only one that could help him.

“I need to see her,” he says through nasally breaths.

During Jake’s spiral, Nat had let tears of her own fall. “They’re not letting any of us see her right now. Just family.” The last part tastes like acid on her tongue.

“We’re her family. They need to let me see her,” he begs. Jake remembers you telling him that he and your friends were truly the only family you have ever known.

“Biological, Jake. We can’t. Not until her parents get here.” She doesn’t even try to hide the scowl on her face.

“Well, where the hell are they?” Jake questions.

“Bora Bora? Or was it Barbados? I have no fucking clue. The nurse said it sounded like they were more upset about their vacation being cut short than their own daughter being in the hospital.”

Jake hates that he wasn’t too surprised to hear that. How ironic that the real people you considered family were here and yet they wouldn’t even let them see you.

Jake swallows, trying his best to ignore the stickiness of his throat. “Then I guess I’m staying here until then.”

Javy, Natasha, and Bradley share a look of uncertainty at his words. Certainly, it wasn’t healthy for him to be there all day and all night waiting for your parents to get there. It was Jake’s determined look and sureness that also let them know that there was no talking him out of this. The three make a silent, unspoken pact to watch over the boy until then.

Jake wasn’t giving up. Not now, not ever. Leaving you was the biggest mistake he has ever made. He was never going to let that happen again.

Seventy-two hours later and Jake was still left in the dark about your condition. He desperately wanted to sneak into your room and see you. He was close to lying to the nurses and saying he was your cousin if that was what he needed to do. But the rest of his friends convinced him to be patient. Though it hurt, the pain lessened with them around.

Like clockwork, the group would come to the hospital to wait for any news and to take care of Jake. The mornings would consist of Javy and Natasha bringing Jake a new change of clothes and breakfast. His afternoons were spent with Bradley dragging him back home to take a quick shower while Bob stayed at the hospital until they returned. The first day was like pulling teeth with Jake. The scene would have been quite amusing, if not for the seriousness of their situation. Bradley looked like he was dragging a child through the hospital with how stubborn Jake was being. A quick phone call to Javy had him fixing his attitude.

“You don’t want the first impression Ace gets of you after so long to be that you stink, do you?” he had said.

So he reluctantly obliged, returning back to the hospital freshly bathed under 45 minutes flat.

Jake’s evenings were spent with Mickey and Reuben force feeding him dinner and trying to distract him with mediocre board games.

The next day, the cycle would repeat. Then again on the next. Their distractions were welcomed and he appreciated how they have been there for the both of you through everything. When night fell and the waiting room emptied, Jake stayed right where he was.

He would bury himself into the neck of his sweatshirt and try to get as much sleep as he could. Sleep didn’t come easy to Jake. All of the “what if’s” and the fear of missing the moment you’d wake clouded his thoughts to the point where sleep just seemed absolutely impossible.

The only ones left in the waiting room were the few straggling family members waiting for their loved ones and the nurses who passed by every now and then. The dim lighting and eerie silence, bar the sound of heart monitors and the occasional code call, were more than enough to have the voices in Jake’s head amplify in volume.

It was his own voice, berating him for not checking up on him sooner. For being hard headed and too full of pride to approach you first. It was Javy’s, telling him that you got into an accident. It was your last I love you. No, not last. He won’t entertain that idea.

No matter how much he willed himself not to, he couldn’t help but think to the last time the both of you spoke. Jake hated himself for not saying those three words back to you. He never thought that one choice would lead to the possibility of never hearing your voice again, touching your soft skin, or seeing your bright eyes full of life. Of never loving you again. What hurt him the most though, was the possibility that your last thought of him may be that he didn’t love you anymore. That was far from the truth.

He loved you more than he thought he was capable of loving someone. Jake has had his fair share of girlfriends and flings, but not one of them made him feel the way you did with something as simple as a look in his direction. That’s all it took with you. One look and Jake knew you were it for him. Nothing else mattered.

Jake hated himself for making you doubt that. Jake hated himself for leaving that night and most of all he hated himself for not saying it back. Now, all he wanted to do was shower you in love and reassure you that despite the sting of your words, he never stopped loving you. He can’t imagine what he would’ve done if he was in your shoes. Right now, he wished he was. If he could be in your place and take your pain, he would.

But he can’t and if something worse were to happen to you, Jake would be the one to live with that pain and burden. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if it came to that.

It’s funny to think that three years ago, Jake would have rolled his eyes and scoffed at the image of himself being hopelessly in love. Now you were his everything–the thing he couldn’t imagine his life without.

It was a miracle that he was able to fall asleep that night with no nightmares. The exhaustion must have finally caught up to him because his sleep was so deep that he woke up to Javy frantically shaking his shoulders to get him to wake.

His eyes snapped open as he came to. His senses readjusted to the environment around him before remembering where he was and why he was there.

Javy sounded like he was underwater as Jake shook himself awake. His vision finally clears and he sees the rest of his friends already there in the room. A quick glance outside was enough to tell him he slept through breakfast and probably lunchtime too.

Jake, still feeling groggy, was completely disregarding everything his best friend was saying. He assumed he was being given the same spiel he’s heard for the past three days about needing to eat and take care of himself.

Then Javy says something that has Jake snapping wide awake.

He barely gives him another chance to repeat himself before Jake is scrambling to his feet with bleary eyes and disheveled hair. He had no other cares in the world right now other than to confirm that what Javy had said is true.

The sweet nurse who Jake had familiarized himself with during his stay gently caught him by the wrist and tugged him towards the hall.

“Her parents got here an hour ago, but since she woke she’s only been asking for you,” Nurse Donna informed him.

A small flutter works its way around Jake’s rib cage and down to his stomach upon hearing her words. He can no longer contain the nerves that flood through his system as he continues to clumsily follow Donna, tripping over his own feet in the process.

When Donna finally lets go of his wrist, he stops outside the door marked with your last name for just a moment. Hesitation and fear cloud his mind. Maybe Donna was mistaken. What if you weren’t actually asking for him? What if she had misheard? What if–

“It’s okay, honey. Go see your girl.” Donna urges him with an encouraging smile.

His girl. God, he missed hearing that. He gives her a small nod of gratitude and exhales softly. Jake’s shaky hand reaches for the silver knob. Giving it a forceful push, he makes his way through the door frame. His feet skid to stop at the threshold and his breath hitches in his throat as he’s met with the sight of those beautiful eyes he’s been praying to see for days on end.

Two Years Ago

Jake didn’t understand why you were so cold towards him. You were even able to warm up to his frat brothers Javy and Reuben. He was dying for it to be his turn. It got to the point where Jake would just breathe while standing beside you and you’d let out a loud groan and move beside Bradley.

Jake hated to admit that he was jealous of Bradley’s ability to get along with you so easily. After your little moment in the library, he thought things between the two of you would be easier, lighter. Instead, it became the absolute opposite and Jake was close to doing something stupid just so you would pay attention to him again. He doesn’t know why, but ever since that day in the library, he found himself desperate for your attention. He was filled with the satisfaction he used to get when flirting with sorority girls. He hasn’t been able to feel that since you.

He doesn’t know what he did to make you dislike him so much. If only he knew, then maybe he could do something to rectify your predetermined notions of him.

Even now as he attempted to butter up an Alpha Phi girl, his green eyes were constantly drawn back to your figure on the other side of the aisle. The high pitched voice of the girl in front of him turned into white noise as Jake zeroed in on you. Suddenly, getting this girl to come to the party tonight was the last thing on his mind.

You hadn’t noticed him yet. If you had, you probably would’ve made a B-line toward the exit already. You were standing on your tiptoes with your tongue slightly poking out from the corner of your mouth. Brows furrowed in concentration, you desperately tried to grab a book on the top shelf. After a lousy first attempt, you try a second time. This time, you rock back on your heels for momentum before launching yourself upwards. Your second try is just as unsuccessful as your first.

Jake shakes his head with amusement as he watches you try for a third time. Your third attempt was just as successful as the last two, leaving you standing empty handed.

“Hey, Becky? Why don’t we finish this conversation another time, yeah?” He gently pats the girl on the arm, all while keeping his gaze trained on you. Jake barely waits for the girl’s response, missing her disgruntled correction of, My name’s Brittany! that falls from her lips.

You’re staring heatedly at the book on the top shelf. He strides over to you, patiently waiting for you to notice him. He stands beside you, also looking up intently at the book, with his arms crossed over his chest. His lips quirk up at the corners as he notes the way your body tenses upon sensing his presence.

All you do is roll back your shoulders as if preparing for one last jump. Jake stops you before you can even make your attempt.

“Sit tight, Ace, your savior’s here.” His left hand hovers over the small of your back while he extends his right arm to reach the book you were looking for. An over dramatic sigh leaves his lips as he brings his arm down and hands the book out to you. His green eyes twinkle with delight as you cross your arms in annoyance.

You turn to meet his gaze, your own stare burning into his.

Jake’s stomach does the strangest thing upon catching your eye. He suddenly finds himself mesmerized by their beautiful color. The intensity of your stare makes him feel like you can see right through him, all the way into the depths of the most hidden parts of his soul. He could get lost in them if you let him.

Breaking eye contact at the intensity of his gaze, you scoff, snatching the book from his hands. Swiftly turning on your heels, you make your way toward the end of the aisle. You stop right at the end and pause before turning over your shoulder to see Jake still eyeing you in bewilderment. “Careful on your way out, Seresin. Your head’s getting so big I’m afraid it might be a bit of a tight squeeze.”

For once, his brain seems to have shut off and he’s unable to think up a cocky or witty remark. He watches you go with intrigue and admiration. His stomach does another somersault as he recalls the exact shade of your eyes and the sway of your hips.

You are going to be the death of him.

“Jake?”

Just like that, he can finally breathe again. Tears gather in his eyes faster than his feet can bring him to the edge of the bed. Jake’s sweeping your hand that’s not hooked up to the IV in his and he lets out a breath of relief at the feeling of your skin on his. A feeling that he was afraid he’d never get to have again.

“Jake,” you sigh, the moment his hand is in yours. You breathe his name like it was your first full breath of fresh air. It falls from your lips like a prayer. Soft, sweet, and full of conviction.

He gives himself a moment to scan your body. Jake’s heart fractures even more than he thought was possible given everything he’s been through this past week. Upon seeing the state you were in, anguish crashes down onto his body. His shoulders feel heavy and his knees are weak at the sight of your pretty face all battered and bruised from various hits you took. There’s a nasty gash on your forehead that was barely holding itself together with the bandage that was placed there. Your right arm was in a cast and your left knee was propped up and wrapped up in a bandage of its own. He hopes that this was the worst of your injuries, but he knows that the extent of them goes deeper than what he can see with his naked eye. Your skin was adorned in a variety of scrapes and scratches, all of which Jake desperately wished he could kiss away.

The shallow movements of your chest and the pained whimper that leaves your lips have him carefully running his other hand over the side of your head, softly soothing you. He bends down to gently rest his forehead against yours and the second his skin makes contact with yours, he’s unable to stop the tears that begin to fall. Jake’s eyes squeeze shut and the heaviness that has been pushing on his chest since the moment he walked away from you finally subsides. His grip on your hand tightens ever so slightly as if to tell himself you’re here, you’re alive, you’re okay. The same words leave him in a hushed whisper that he shares between the two of you. Though they were more of a reassurance for himself.

A shaky exhale escapes you at his words and the way you’re gasping for air signifies that you’ve started crying as well. Part of it was from the tight pain in your chest and the other from the utter disbelief that this was real–that Jake was really here.

The first thing you thought of the second you woke was Jake. You were positive that he wasn’t going to be there, but you desperately begged for him anyway. The shock on your parents' faces that clouded your vision quickly turned to disgust as you refused to listen to their words. Your mother had tried to reach out to you, but you thrashed in her touch and frantically shook your head as you cried out for Jake.

You were in near hysterics and your parents were staring at you in shock and horror but you didn’t care. You didn’t care that they were there when all you wanted was Jake.

Your mother begged Nurse Donna to sedate you. The sour look on Donna’s face was missed by your mother as she left the room. She thought that Donna had gone to grab the sedative. However, when she returned without a syringe and with a boy, your mother almost fainted.

You, on the other hand, thought you were dreaming when you saw him walk through that door. You just couldn’t believe that even after everything, Jake was there. Then he touched you and you broke down. His scent invaded you. His touch that you’ve craved like a drug for days on end was finally yours again. The reality that he was there was more than enough to have you breaking down again.

“I’m sorry,” you slur, still slightly drowsy from the medications. “I’m sorry,” you mutter over and over again as he places his forehead on yours.

You feel him pull you closer and shush you gently as tears of his own run down his face. You did this. You made him cry. If your limbs weren’t so heavy and numb you would’ve brushed away all the tears that ran down his perfect face until his eyes were finally dry.

Jake’s elation shatters at your words. You had absolutely nothing to be sorry for right now. If anything, he should be the one on his knees begging for your forgiveness. He opens his mouth to speak before getting cut off by someone in the corner of the room clearing their throat.

Jake’s attention was so focused on you that he hadn’t noticed your parents standing there this entire time. Hot, white fury fuels him at the sight of them looking more bothered than worried for their daughter.

“You didn’t tell us you had a boyfriend,” your mother practically sneers at him.

Jake wills himself to pull it together, for your sake.

“Mom–” you start.

“How does that make you feel, son? Knowing your girlfriend didn’t tell her own parents about you?” This time, it’s your father who speaks up, eyeing Jake up and down. “Insignificant, I would say.”

“Dad! Stop it!”

The stress in your voice is evident and the spike of your heart monitor grabs Jake’s attention.

You barely had enough strength to defend Jake against their venomous words. He looks at you with wide eyes, asking for your permission to speak to them. Had this been under different circumstances, Jake wouldn’t need to think twice about biting his tongue. He probably would have snapped back at them too if he didn’t notice the unnecessary stress this entire situation was putting on your shoulders.

You shake your head at him before glancing toward your parents. “Please. Please leave.” You didn’t want them here right now. You didn’t need anyone but Jake right now.

Offended, your mother scoffs. “You’re choosing a boy over your own parents?”

This time, Jake decides to jump to your defense. “I believe she asked you to leave.” He looks over his shoulder, narrowing his gaze at your parents who stand unbothered across the room.

“Why should we listen to you?” Your mother fights back.

You start feeling lightheaded from the entire situation and you lay your head back, sliding out of Jake’s hold slightly. “Please,” you ask with the little strength you have.

Noticing the warmth of your skin leaving him, Jake gently follows the movement of your head and cradles it while helping you lower your head to the pillow. His full attention is back on you as he scans you for any more distress. Jake was getting angrier by the minute. Couldn’t your parents see how much stress they were causing you? Why wouldn’t they just leave? He was close to yelling at them now but was saved by Donna entering the room.

“Your daughter asked you to leave,” she tells them sternly. “Now I suggest you listen before I call security to have you both dragged out of here.”

Your mother’s jaw drops and your father shakes his head with a scowl. Putting his hands up in surrender, your father is the first to leave.

Your mother, however, lingers for just a moment more. “I can’t believe we left the Bahamas for this.” She always had to have the last word.

Once the room is free of their presence you heavily exhale, looking at Donna with a grateful smile.

She nods with a small smile of her own. “I’ll let you kids have a moment. Oh, and don’t worry, I’ll be right outside in case your parents try to come back.”

“Thanks, Donna,” Jake sighs, his eyes never leaving yours.

She winks at the both of you before softly closing the door on her way out.

“Are you–” the both of you say at the same time.

You avert your gaze with a nervous chuckle and Jake smiles, urging you to go first.

You take a moment to observe the boy in front of you. This Jake was not the one you saw the last time. This Jake was tired and worn out. If the dullness of his green eyes and the dark circles that surrounded them weren’t a telltale sign of his exhaustion, it was the paleness of his skin and his sullen cheeks.

“Are you okay?” You ask timidly. For the first time since you started dating, you find yourself feeling incredibly anxious about him. You were the reason why he looked like this, so empty and void of life. You didn’t even deserve for him to be here right now.

Jake shakes his head with a sad smile playing on his lips. “You’re the one in a hospital gown and you’re asking if I’m okay?”

He presses a sweet kiss to your forehead and you almost cry from the contact.

“That’s my Ace, always worrying about me.” So much fondness shines in his eyes, causing you to finally break.

The tears start flowing again, scaring Jake just a little bit.

“Your Ace?” You sob. Somehow, you knew he had already forgiven you, but you still didn’t think you deserved it. “How can you even stand being here with me after everything I did? I hurt you, Jake. I hurt you and I am so, so sorry.”

“Hey,” he whispers, softly stroking your hair. “It’s okay.”

“No, no it’s not okay. Nothing about this is okay!” You hiccup and hiss at the sting it causes in your rib cage.

“Ace, breathe for me sweetheart, come on.” He gently coaxes you with teary eyes of his own. He needs to hold it together for your sake. He needs to be strong for both of you.

“It’s not okay,” you sniffle.

“Shh…” Jake sees how much of a toll this entire thing has taken on you.

Your eyelids are drooping heavily, but you will to keep them open. You’re afraid that once you close them, you’ll wake up to find that this was all just a dream. That Jake was never really here to begin with and that you were all alone.

Jake pulls the empty chair that was beneath your bed closer to him and takes a seat. He encapsulates your hand between both of his and brings them to his lips. “It’s okay, Ace. Sleep,” he guides.

“No.” You tiredly fight against the exhaustion that is threatening to take over. “No.”

“Sleep,” Jake requests again. “I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

“You promise?” You whimper.

“I promise.” He gives your hand another kiss for safe measure, already seeing that your eyes have already begun to close. With his lips still pressed against your skin, he swears, “I’ll be here, Ace. I promise I’m never leaving you again. I love you. So fucking much.”

Jake doesn’t miss the faint smile that ghosts your lips as sleep finally takes control of your body.

Two Years Ago

He finds you lying on the dewy lawn of the Delta Chi house splayed out like a starfish. “What in the…” he mutters to himself as he makes his way towards you.

Jake stands over you, coming into your vision upside down causing you to giggle.

“Ace?”

“Hangman!” You exclaim with a dopey smile on your lips.

He rolls his eyes at the name and crouches down above you. “What are you doing out here all alone?”

You sigh dreamily. “Stargazing.”

Jake catches the scent of cheap beer and jungle juice on your lips, letting him know you were currently far from sober. That makes him worry just a little bit. Last he heard you didn’t drink. You despised it actually.

“How much have you had to drink?” He asks for safe measures.

Another giggle erupts from your lips as you hold up all ten of your fingers and even your feet, wiggling your toes in your sandals. “This many.”

That’s all Jake needs to confirm that you are long gone. “Where’s the rest of your friends?” He glances around looking for any sign of your roommates. All he sees are drunk couples making out on the front porch and the occasional flash of disco lights that escapes through the front windows and open door.

“Dunno,” is all you say with a lazy shrug.

Jake sighs, finding himself caught in a dilemma. He had a smoking hot blonde waiting for him to come back inside and bring her upstairs. So why did he feel so guilty about the thought of leaving you out here to fend for yourself? The two of you were hardly even friends, acquaintances at most. He only saw you after your group project because his friends mingled with your circle of friends after miraculously getting along upon meeting each other.

Yet as he looked down at you staring awe struck up at the sky, he knew he couldn’t just leave you out here alone. Pushing himself off his knees, he groans. “Mind if I join you?”

You shrug. “Mi casa es tu casa. Or no, wait. Tu casa es mi casa. Get it? Cause this is your house?” You laugh at your own joke.

Your laughter is infectious, plaguing Jake with a few chuckles of his own. He lays on the damp ground beside you, resting his arms behind his head. “Not really my house, darling. It’s the fraternity’s.”

“Same thing,” you wave him off.

The two of you lay there in comfortable silence, watching the night sky. Jake had to admit, this was the most fun he has probably had all night even if you were doing nothing but looking at the sky.

Out here with you, Jake felt like he could let his guard down. His cocky, playboy, frat boy persona disappeared. When around everyone else, he felt like he was expected to act a certain way but being out here with you, he knew you expected nothing of the sort.

That was one of the first things that caught him completely off guard when he met you. All it took was one look at him and you were picking him apart, dissecting all of the fronts he put up around others. That’s why you bothered him so much. He barely knew anything about you and somehow, it was like you knew everything about him. You saw through his charms and arrogance, leaving no room for any funny business.

Jake’s shoulders fall from his ears and he lets himself relax.

Hearing you shift beside him, he wants to ask you what was on your mind. His curiosity never failed to make itself known when you were around. Again, he knew that you didn’t drink, so why were you absolutely wasted right now?

The question is on the tip of his tongue, begging to be asked, but he exhales gratefully when you speak up first.

“My parents are assholes who care about nothing but my grades and their image.”

He’s not sure if he was meant to hear what you just said or if you realize it’s him that you’re talking to. So he stays quiet and patiently waits for you to continue.

“It’s parents’ weekend next week and they don’t even bother to answer any of my calls or texts about it. And when I do hear back from them it’s a halfhearted apology that they can’t make because they’re off on the other side of the world.” A dry laugh escapes you. “I don’t know what I was thinking when I invited them. I knew they weren’t going to show up, whether they were actually here or not. I mean… is it too much to ask for them to just show up and be proud of me?”

Jake sits up with a frown on his lips upon hearing your voice crack. He hesitates, unsure of what to say. He was never good at the whole comfort thing, especially when it came to crying girls. He used to try to comfort his sisters when they would cry, but he always just seemed to make things worse. He didn’t want to make you feel worse than you already did. “I’m sure they’re proud of you, Ace. They’d be idiots not to be.”

You scoff, seemingly sobering up just enough to push yourself to sit up beside him. “I guess they’re idiots then.”

Jake’s mouth runs faster than his brain can manage to keep up.“Hey, at least you have parents. I mean...look at Bradley.”

That pulls a snort and a teary laugh from you. “Oh my god! Jesus, Seresin…” You’re laughing. You feel bad that you are, but the delivery of Jake’s words was so nonchalant that you couldn’t help but burst out laughing. “You’re insane.”

He joins in your laughter, glad that he was able to pull your attention from your inner turmoil even if it was just for a minute. “What? Am I wrong?”

“You’re not, but come on. That was so uncalled for,” you shake your head in amusement.

Jake sends you a toothy grin, captivated by the way your smile grows.

“Jake!” The sound of another feminine voice catches both of your attention. The blonde he left inside earlier was running down the porch steps and in their direction. “There you are,” the girl exclaims, throwing her arms around him as she joins him on the ground. She presses an obnoxiously loud kiss to his neck with a smile. “I’ve been waiting for you, Cowboy.”

As if suddenly realizing where you were and who you were with, you tuck your chin to your sternum and avoid his gaze. He grimaces in the other girl’s hold.“Ace–”

You go to stand, still wobbling from the alcohol but you’re coherent enough to know where you were going. “Looks like duty calls, Hangman.”

The girl gives you a cheeky smile as she moves her lips from his neck to the side of his face.

He doesn’t miss the somber note of your tone. Jake watches you sway on your feet as you make your way back inside. He wants to reach out to you, beg you to stay but he holds himself back. With a sigh, he pulls the girl who’s clinging to his side up to her feet and flashes her a halfhearted grin.

Even with his newfound company, Jake couldn’t get you out of his head.

True to his word, Jake never left your side since you woke up. If the doctor’s needed to personally evaluate your condition, he would step outside but immediately come back in once the doctor gave him the okay.

Your parents haven’t made another appearance since that first day and you were relieved. Your friends have been in and out of your hospital room once you were moved to the regular hospital floor from Urgent Care.

Your body was still pretty weak due to the severity of your injuries but you felt stronger than you have in weeks. Being surrounded by your friends, your family, gave you some of that strength back. Most important of all, being with Jake had you feeling invincible.

The doctors were thrilled with your rate of recovery and predicted you would be discharged in the next couple of days.

Though Jake kept his promise to you, you still had a sliver of doubt about where the two of you stood relationship wise. You tried to bring it up a couple of times, but Jake would only respond with a shake of his before telling you not to worry about it now.

You were just a bit afraid that this was his way of letting you down easily. That this was his way of telling you that he loved you, but he just couldn’t be in a relationship with you anymore.

But then he’d do something as small as brushing your hair gently from your face as you ate or held your hand before you fell asleep at night and that little bit of worry would subside, if only for a moment.

You’re laughing at Reuben’s lame attempt to sink Nat’s battleship when Jake gives you a quick kiss on the cheek muttering a soft, “I’ll be right back,” into your ear.

You shoot him a soft smile and nod, before returning your attention to your friends’ antics.

Meanwhile, Jake makes a quick run to the coffee machine down the hall. He barely makes it five steps there when he runs into someone right outside your door.

He looks up and almost spews out an apology before realizing exactly who he ran into.

The look of distaste that falls upon his face is anything but subtle.

Your mother shares a look with your father, who sneers at the sight of him.

Being born and raised by his southern gentleman of a father and kind hearted mother, he knew he still had to show some respect towards your parents despite his dislike for them.

He gives them a nod as a form of greeting and silently prays that they let him slip past them.

“You should leave now before it gets worse,” your mother speaks up.

Jake knew he should probably ignore it. Leave your mother without the satisfaction of getting under his skin. But he couldn’t. He stops in his tracks. Glaring at them from over his shoulder, he hissed, “Excuse me?”

Your mother only shrugs, pulling her handbag tighter over her shoulder. “She’s not worth your time or the trouble. Trust us. As her parents, we would know. How does it make you feel? Knowing you must mean so little to her that she didn’t even mention your existence to her parents.”

Jake was finally tired of biting his tongue. No one, not even your own parents, talked about you like that. Not if he could help it. “With all due respect, I know she didn’t tell you about me and frankly, I don’t blame her considering the way you treat your daughter. Besides, how would either of you know anything? You’re never here so you’d never know just how worth it your daughter is. I would walk through hell for her. Something I know neither of you would ever do.

So no, you don’t know. You don't know just how thoughtful and sweet and caring she is. You don’t know just how incredibly smart she is. Most of all, you would never understand that she is worth everything.”

Jake is breathless at the end of his speech. His chest heaves as he catches his breath and harshly swallows from his passionate spiel. You were everything and the idea that anyone would think otherwise astonished him.

Your mother barely bats an eye. “Well, I guess you wouldn’t mind completely taking her off our hands then. Considering she moved so far away from us for college, you can tell my daughter to not even bother coming back home to visit us because apparently, we’re never here for her anyway.” She storms past Jake in suppressed fury, muttering to herself, “The Bahamas!”

Your father, on the other hand, pauses for a moment. He opens his mouth like he wants to say something and glances through the doorway before looking back at Jake and clearing his throat. “Just, um, just tell her the hospital bill will be taken care of once it comes in the mail.” He gives one last look at your hospital room before scurrying in the same direction your mother had gone.

A sigh of relief escapes Jake’s lips from the encounter, diminishing his prior craving for caffeine.

He makes his way back into the room to see three pairs of eyes settled on him. Jake’s a bit unnerved at all the attention he’s receiving and he’s slightly confused by the way Nat, Reuben, and you were all staring at him.

He nervously chuckles, running a hand down the back of his neck.

Reuben suddenly stands up, grabbing his battleship board. “I think we should continue this outside, right Nat?”

She nods with a smile grabbing her board as well. “Yeah, let’s. We’ll give you two a minute.” Natasha squeezes your hand as she ushers out of the room.

Jake shifts back and forth on his feet, feeling a heat of embarrassment flow through him. “You heard all of that, didn’t you?”

A look he can’t fully decipher on your face. “Yeah, I did.”

“I am so sorry if I crossed a line I just—“

“I love you.” You cut him off teary eyed.

“What?” He breathes, the wideness of his growing smile no longer contained.

You give him a smile of your own that matches the look of love and pure happiness that lights up his features. “I said I love you. I heard you, that first night you stayed over but I was too afraid to say it back. Just in case you didn’t mean it the way I did anymore. But then you…”

Jake cups your face in his hands, nodding to encourage you to take your time.

“But then I heard what you said to my parents and no one has ever stood up for me that way.”

His thumbs begin to trace gentle patterns onto the apples of your cheeks.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is that I love you and I’m sorry if I ever made you feel otherwise.” A tear finally escapes from the corner of your eye that gets gently pressed away by Jake’s lips.

“Oh, sweetheart. I’m sorry if I ever made you doubt my love.”

You shake your head, desperately hoping he understands that none of that matters now. “You’re here now. That’s what matters. I love you, Jake Seresin.”

Finally, after days of waiting, he kisses you softly on the lips. It’s not rough or hungry, despite how long he’s been waiting for this moment. It’s soft, delicate, and full of love. It’s passionate and heartwarming. It’s the kind that you could feel all the way to the tips of your toes. Just like the first time.

“I love you, Ace. You’ll never have to doubt that again.”

Your relationship, just like your body, wasn’t one hundred percent healed. There were still many things the two of you had to talk about.

However, knowing that Jake loved you didn’t make the unspoken parts so scary. Having him, loving him, is enough.

a/n: a super duper, huge thank you to @blue-aconite for beta reading and being just the best support system through this entire journey <3 she even swayed my original plans for this so you should thank her for jake and ace getting back together sooner that anticipated lol as usual, reblogs, feedback, and comments are all greatly appreciated and the inbox is always open

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