#department peepaw...

[dlstmxkakwldrlarchive]

He's so sexy it makes me wanna punch somebody

no like i get it he's like my helen of troy id start a war and then die bcs of his pretty face

[cozylittleartblog]

8th annual nick valentine post! fallout 4 npcs Love sitting. they'll see a chair and ask "is anyone gonna sit here" and not wait for an answer. its like nick is on a personal quest to sit in every chair in the commonwealth. if he sees a chair its on sight

its because his joints are bad, obviously. he's like 140

[wtf-tfw]

she thinks its sooooo funny when her coworker slaps her at work, but this is WRONG. you should tell HR if somenoe is slapping you at work, even if it makes you tingle and giggle. this is inappropriate behavior as your coworkers should be Punching and Killing You instead. none of that pansy shit.

[gutsby]

Stiff

Pairing: Old!Joel x Reader

Summary: At fifty-nine, Joel isn’t sure his dick can keep up with every day it’s going to take to get you pregnant. He seeks help from Jackson’s local apothecary and gets more than bargained for when that little blue pill kicks in.

Or, your old man wants to knock you up. Viagra helps.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v (obviously 😵‍💫🤙🏼). Breeding kink. Age gap. Peepaw Joel. Blue Pill Joel. Post-apocalyptic-Viagra-dosage-gone-horribly-wrong-and-now-his-dick-won’t-deflate-for-a-day…but it’s OK!

Note: This is the crackfic counterpart/sequel to ‘Make It Stick’

Word count: 2.9k

Forty-five minutes.

Forty-five minutes until his fate was sealed for the night. His pulse would quicken. His head would start to swim, and any last sliver of rational thought would be lost to the ether or the cold, snowy air around him. Joel Miller had to hurry now, because that bite-sized blue pill he’d just taken was in his belly, and if his dick didn’t find its way in you, he was fucked. Or at least huge and swollen and leaking out beads of hot desire the size of golf balls.

Well, maybe that was just his cock.

Joel looked down, scanning his pants.

Yeah…definitely just cock. He walked faster.

At home, he knew he’d find you curled up on the couch, nose in a book. What to Expect When You’re Expecting, if he had to guess. Then, sure enough, you’d lift your eyes and smile—‘Thank goodness you’re back, daddy’—and lift the hem of your night dress just slightly. Spread your legs and beckon him in. It was a nightly routine by now.

You wanted to be knocked up as fast as possible, after all

At almost sixty years old, Joel couldn’t believe he was actually saying these words aloud. But here he was—crawling overtop you on the couch, situating himself between your legs, and pulling his cock out, mumbling:

“Gonna let me put a baby in you tonight?”

You nodded sweetly—eagerly—every time.

Joel knew he could never resist that look. He was as good as finished the first second you let him sink inside your tight, weeping hole, and when he stretched it, he could already tell this was all he would ever want to do. Make you happy, fill you up, give you lots and lots of him.

It was why he’d stopped by the apothecary tonight. Why he’d hesitated only a moment before clearing his throat and asking for a pill like Viagra—Joel knew that the man behind the counter would flash him a wry, knowing grin.

Trouble keepin’ up with that sweet young thing’a yours?

David was a dick.

He wasn’t entirely wrong, either.

Ever since agreeing to start trying for a baby, Joel had become acutely aware of his own physical limitations in that department, and one of them was stamina. He could scarcely fuck twice in the same night without needing a long and rest-intensive breather. You were young and could roll over ready to go in five minutes.

It wasn’t fair to deprive you now on account of his age.

If you wanted his cum, you were getting it, no question.

Not just once, but multiple times. Again and again and—

“Again,” Joel grunted once he’d shot off his last spurt.

Fifty-eight minutes had passed since he’d taken that pill. It had fully kicked in, and his dick was still hard, even after finishing inside you with a sticky, white-hot flood.

You blinked dreamily up at him.

“You mean it, old man?” you teased him lightly.

I’ll show you what I mean, Joel thought to himself before flipping you over on the sofa. He had your hips tilted up and his cock driving back inside your freshly-fucked cunt in no time at all. He felt his spend coating your walls; it let him glide right in. Joel groaned and jerked himself back out, then fucked back in again and again and again.

“Again?”

Your word was exhaled in a laugh.

You stood in front of the bathroom sink, trying to tidy up the insides of your legs and push some more of Joel’s load back in, when you felt a presence at your back.

Stabbing your ass.

You started to turn then, puzzled.

“Bend over,” Joel commanded before you could.

You did as you were told because, frankly, you loved getting fucked wherever your old man wanted it—even if he had broken the sink one time he’d pounded you here.

But there was palpable confusion, too. How in the hell had Joel Miller, certified silver fox and owner of a dick old enough to remember Woodstock and the moon landing, managed to get his dick hard in the five minutes since he’d had you face-down, ass-up on the couch?

Or had his dick gotten soft at all?

You wanted to question him about it, or else give a long, hard look at his uncharacteristically long, hard friend, when the next moment had you gripping the counter. Stretching between the legs as Joel pushed back in.

“There she is,” he murmured affectionately.

Really, you’d never been wetter. Or warmer. Or filled to the brim with more sticky-white spend than you could ever hope to hold inside, it felt like. You bent at the waist and let him have his fill. You closed your eyes and rested your head on your forearms while Joel’s hot, bulbous tip grazed your cervix with dizzying alacrity. A smile crept in.

Whatever this was, you wanted more of it.

His dick was still hard.

Four mind-numbing fucks and another forty-five minutes later, Joel’s cock hadn’t deflated the tiniest bit.

The thing had hammered you so thoroughly he’d nearly destroyed the sink again. You’d whimpered, and whined, and warned him quietly, ‘We just fixed the porcelain, baby,’ and right before he’d painted your walls with his seed, you’d cum for him practically shrieking. Shaking.

Letting him turn you around for a kiss, only to mumble against his mouth with a sleepy, cockdrunk sort of lilt:

“I think you gave me twins.”

Then he’d fucked you in the shower to make it triplets.

Now you were laying out on the bed, truly spent, eyes following him in the semi-darkness of your bedroom after you’d toweled off and collapsed among the pillows.

“What’s gotten into you tonight, Miller?” you breathed.

Joel made it over to the dresser, back turned to you. He rifled through a drawer looking for something extra tight.

“Just missed you is all,” he said, shrugging.

What he needed right now was fabric that was very thick to hide the boner he was sporting. Joel could tell from the way you spoke that you were too tired for round five, and he didn’t want you feeling like you had to go again.

He would be fine.

His dick might not deflate until dawn, but that was okay.

“Wish you missed me like this every day,” you giggled.

When Joel turned around, he was shocked to find you sprawled out on the bed—hands between your legs.

There was a shy smile on your face.

“Baby…” he trailed off, watching your fingers flit through that sticky mess where he’d left it. Where you glistened.

Where you slid your index and middle fingers up and down your slit and drew circles on your clit, eyes shining.

“What? I missed you too,” you said, tone all faux protest.

You had no idea what you did to him when you talked like that. Especially when he was drowning in a state like this.

Hard as a rock.

Throbbing.

Needy.

Scarcely even knowing what he was doing, Joel found himself over by the foot of the bed in a second. Watching your every move with a wild, wipe-open stare he still couldn’t believe you found appealing. He swallowed.

He not only looked perverted, but he felt it, too. It rarely ever left his mind, save for the four or five seconds he spent in ecstasy emptying the contents of his balls inside your cunt, that he was his age, and you were yours. That perhaps the rest of Jackson was right, and he was wrong: he had no business being around a girl like you, much less getting off inside you every night. Was this really what you wanted? A bewildering mixture of guilt, lust, and love all circulated through his skull at that moment, and the longer he spent looking at your fingers, ogling the way you teased them through his cum between your legs, the more he felt certain he was bad.

No one corrupted a thing this sweet and got to call themselves good, anyway, he thought to himself idly.

“I keep gettin’ that…feelin’,” you said under your breath.

Joel’s hand tightened in a fist, and it was then that he realized it was wrapped around his cock. Still watching.

“Yeah, baby? What feelin’?” he returned, almost as quiet.

Still stroking himself up and down, up and down, softly.

You had your legs spread open—knees splayed wider than they’d been before. And your eyes had a tender, placid sheen to them, like they just might cry if they didn’t get release of some kind soon. Then you slowed.

Your touch slipped from your clit to the opaque, sticky globs between your thighs, and that look got even softer.

More desperate.

“Can’t…explain it.” You shook your head, as if pained, and then you sank two fingers inside. Joel could hear the tiny schlick from where he stood, and it almost did him in.

You sucked in a breath and added, “It’s a special feelin’.”

Joel’s fist had already worked its way up to a ridiculous speed. Again, he sensed this might be the worst and most pathetic he’d ever looked, but by the glint in your eyes and the way you kept holding him there, he also knew you weren’t asking him to stop, either. You were needing something else—something he could provide.

Thanks to that one stupid pill.

Joel’s smile was strained as he gripped the edge of the bed, like he was trying to assuage you and him at once.

“Try me, baby. Tell me ‘bout that special feelin’.”

Your middle and ring fingers disappeared inside you.

You whined, “Ain’t fair to say it now. You’re tired, daddy.”

Like hell he was. Joel crawled over the footboard and made his way straight to you, where your body was limp.

His breaths were coming in so fast and his pulse was thrumming so hard that he almost couldn’t hear himself talking. But he ventured to speak as gently as he could.

“I’m wide awake, sweet pea. I’m all ears. Talk to me.”

And if his words didn’t communicate as much, surely the look in his eyes would’ve told you all the rest. Quietly, he slipped his torso between your legs, where you’d inserted a third finger and were moving your hips again. You were fingering yourself, breathing shallow and quick.

“It’s a feelin’ like I wanna be…stuffed…a-and full’a you.”

Joel’s whole body could’ve liquified on the spot. His brain, presently, had all the consistency of a plate of scrambled eggs if he’d had to guess. Feeling his cock swell even bigger and his hips sink lower to yours of their own accord, he had only to grit his teeth and nod his head. He felt the tip of him bump your fingers, and the sensation and the expectation nearly drove him insane.

He mumbled quietly, “Then move your hand.”

You did. You winced again. You looked as though you might be ashamed for wanting him to fill you with his spend, and Joel simply wouldn’t allow that any longer.

Without saying another word, he slid back in.

Your cum and his facilitated the slide, and you opened right up for him. You whimpered, while Joel grunted like an animal. He couldn’t help it; it all felt so fucking primal.

How you could ever feel the need to apologize for wanting more of this was more than he could take.

“Every inch of me,” Joel said, rutting deeper, “is yours.”

He withdrew to the tip, and he could feel strings of arousal linking him to you in a sickeningly sweet way.

You could scarcely even nod, just waiting for him again.

When Joel plunged back in, he heard a feral little cry, and he felt your legs wrap around his waist. He went faster. You fisted the pillow behind your head in one hand, while the other laid flat on his chest, like you were checking for a heartbeat. You could probably hear it thudding a million miles per minute right now. Your hips collided in tandem.

“D— Daddy,” you whimpered.

“That’s it, open up for daddy. Good girl. It’s all yours.”

The sounds his thrusts were making were obscene.

“Every inch?” you breathed, “E-Every drop, too?”

“Every fiber of my fucking being, sweet girl.”

That made you smile, at length. Your hand slid from his chest, down his round belly, straight to a groin that was pounding hard and fast against your own. Joel groaned when he felt your touch sweep inside your legs—right in the space where his cum had come trickling out. You slid your fingers through that mess, then whimpered again.

Then you brought your hand up to your mouth.

You wrapped your lips around your cum-soaked fingers like they were the single sweetest thing, and you sucked.

Joel had no say after seeing that: he had to cum again.

It likely stunned you both—you more than him, by the look that crossed your eyes the second you felt him throb and pulse inside your cunt—but then it kept going.

Rather than stop, or slow down in the slightest, Joel found his hips pistoning faster than they had before. The whole bed frame shook, and your body trembled with every thrust, and the noises between your legs grew even louder; the sound of skin slapping skin was only amplified by the addition of Joel’s hot load in the mix.

The man was operating on impulse. You, through sheer awe and an animalistic need to have every crevice filled. You held him and you grit your teeth, and you let him keep using your body, while you used his. You kissed him.

“Go on, then—make me a daddy. Take my cum, baby,” Joel babbled, brainless, “Make your old man a daddy.”

He couldn’t tell if it were the words or the rhythm or the pleasure that had already been blossoming deep in your gut this whole time, but he felt you fall apart. You wrapped your legs tighter around his waist than you had all night, and you screamed his name. Begged for more.

“Cum in me, daddy—pleasepleaseplease just cum, ju—”

And there he went. Again. Flooding your insides with his warmth and letting his cock carve a wild, relentless path through your cunt like it was all the man knew how to do. He filled you up. He felt it leaking down his length with every stab of his hips, and frankly, he didn’t care what he looked like now. You were smiling big, drawing him in for more kisses as he panted and grunted and whimpered like he never had before. He kissed back. Slowed down.

Found himself lost in your mouth as your tongue wove delectably through his own and your hands made their way to his wild, greying hair. You tugged, and he moaned.

He fucked his spend deeper without even meaning to.

All instinct again, it seemed he couldn’t get enough.

Suddenly, he felt a new, strange urge bubble up.

“I-I-I took a pill tonight,” he blurted out, “Know how badly you want this baby, and I wanna give you one.”

Or two. Or twenty. He was barely capable of speech, let alone rational cognition, so he just spoke whatever came to his mind then, still snug inside your legs and panting.

“A pill?” you whispered back.

Joel’s gaze locked with yours.

He felt stupid for it all at once.

“Yeah. Yeah, I just— I know I’m gettin’ on in years, and I probably can’t fuck the way I used to. And you deserve someone who can…Maybe a guy your age, but that—”

“—is the single dumbest thing you have ever said to me,” you finished for him, eyes narrowing swiftly in a scowl.

When Joel tried talking again, you cut him off.

“I don’t care what any guy my age is doing, or could do. I want babies with you, and that includes every part, OK?”

Your look softened momentarily, seeing his lips twitch down—you could probably see he wasn’t believing you.

Then you cradled his face in your palms. You smiled. You brushed his nose with yours, and you kissed him again, and with what little strength you likely had left in your body, you dug your heels in his ass and pulled him deeper. Both of you let out soft, low grunts at the effort.

“If you fucked like this at twenty-five, my body wouldn’t have survived anyway,” you whispered in reassurance. Biting back a laugh as Joel smiled, too, “I like things just the way they are. Just like how I hope you like me, too.”

“No—I love you.” Joel shook his head, almost plaintive.

And for the first time that night, he felt himself soften.

Whether it was the pill wearing off or that first thread of vulnerability stretching out between your body and his, he didn’t really care. He kissed the tip of your nose and was about to say something more, when you cut back in.

“I love you more. And since we’re being honest tonight,” you started quietly, nipping at your bottom lip a second, “I might…need you back at the apothecary tomorrow.”

Joel’s face fell.

“Wh— is something wrong, baby?” His voice was tight.

He hated seeing David, but, of course, he’d go back there in a heartbeat if it meant getting you the medication you needed. His stomach was starting to churn, when you reached up to hold his face again. You shook your head.

“No, no, Joel, I’m fine. But I may need prenatal vitamins.”

Now his eyes were going wide. His cheeks heated under your palms, and his cock twitched inside you, reflexively.

“You mean…” he murmured, unable to finish. Swallowing.

Beneath him, he saw you smile and nod.

He nearly choked hearing what followed:

“I meant to tell you earlier, but…my period’s a little late.”

[planet-marz1]

Our Little Sheep

Summary: You and Joel celebrate christmas with your many children Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader Word Count: ~4.1k

Tags/Warnings:18+MDNI no use of y/n, implied age gap(not specified), reader is able to get pregnant, jackson!joel, peepaw!joel(really peepaw), mentions of pregnancy, brief mentions of childbirth (nothing graphic), brief mentions of breastfeeding (again, nothing graphic) Lots of fluff & cuteness, Joel being a cute girl dad™, this seems like it should be a crackfic, but I promise It's so wholesome

A/N: Ok so this fic idea was born out of my cold medicine induced haze, so bear with me here guys. It's just a silly little fic, not meant to be taken seriously at all, and It's the most fun I've had writing in a bit, so I hope you enjoy reading! Just a little clarity here, the kids' ages range from 0 to 9. I know it gets all confusing here, so I am welcome to provide any further clarity if anyone needs it! A huge thank you to @catchallfangirl for helping with the naming of all of these gremlins & with the constant encouragement ❤️ Thank you to @fhatbhabie for beta reading!

lovely dividers by @pamasaur

| main masterlist | ao3 link | follow my fic updates blog @planetmarz1-notifs

You open your eyes slightly, squinting them. Joel sleeps peacefully next to you, his breaths even and steady. Burrowing yourself further under the blankets, you scoot closer to him, your head on his chest and intertwining your legs with his. You run your fingers through the curls of his now, fully gray hair.

Slight whines start to fill the room, and you lift your head up and glance over your shoulder to peek into the bassinet next to your side of the bed. Joel had been up with the baby all night after you two had finished wrapping up the gifts for the other kids. So, you groggily sit up in bed, reaching over to pick up the tiny little infant.

“Shhh, It’s alright, little one.” You whisper quietly, trying to calm him. After a few attempts to shush him, it’s still not working. He’s probably hungry, you figure. Lifting your shirt, you help him latch onto your breast, and he finally calms. You sigh quietly with relief. It’s all a part of the process, you try to remind yourself. Little baby Joelseph had only been born a few weeks ago. No, his name isn’t actually Joelseph. Simply a nickname given to him by his many older sisters when you had been pregnant with him. It started as a cute joke, but sure enough he came into the world, and no one was able to call him by his proper name. Named after his father, but considering the chaos of your family, the nickname is simply just another thing that you don’t bother to fight to keep the peace in the house.

The early hours of the morning are usually the small period of time when the house is completely silent. Every other waking minute is filled with the sounds of the kids, either giggling, or fighting with each other over something. Though, silence isn’t always a good thing. You’ll never forget the time the kids got into the kitchen cupboards and practically wreaked havoc in the kitchen while you were outside tending to the sheep.

Sure enough, you hear the trampling of footsteps coming down the hallway. No matter how chaotic it may be, this is your favorite part of the day. Getting to start each day greeted by all of your beautiful children, reminding you of why you are so lucky. You softly graze your fingers over the baby’s hair.

“I think your sisters are here, little guy,” You chuckle softly. The doorknob jiggles a bit. Before all of your daughters begin to spill into your bedroom, all eleven of them. Yes, eleven. You and Joel had, admittedly, gotten out of control in that department.

You and Joel had met when he had returned to Jackson in the spring with Ellie in tow. It had been an immediate connection, quite literally. Hooking up one night in the bathroom of the Tipsy Bison, which is what led to your firstborn, Emilie. The pregnancy had come as a shock, but you and Joel were excited nonetheless.

A chorus of variations of “Mom,” or “Mommy,” begin to fill the room, and you try to shush the girls, reminding them of their little brother. “Ok, girls, I know that you’re excited to get downstairs to all of your gifts, but you’ve got to settle down a bit, alright?” You whisper gently. Finally, they all nod in understanding. The calm is short-lived, though. Jane and Jules, the cutest, but menacing pair of instigators, hop on to your bed, shaking Joel’s shoulder, trying to wake their father.

They were your fourth pregnancy, which was by far the most difficult one you had ever experienced. Constant discomfort, and sleepless nights from the relentless kicking and movement from them. It wasn’t the first time you had been pregnant with twins, but It had gone nothing like you had expected it to.

Joel, though typically a light sleeper, is particularly hard to wake after a night with no sleep, hence why you’d opted on letting him sleep in. The two of them, each on one side of him, lean in close to his face, leaving little room for personal space. “Daddy.” Jules says quietly, Jane keeping a close watch.

Joel peeks one eye open, a bit startled at first at the heavy breathing from the two girls so close to his face, but the confused expression on his face is quickly replaced by a tired grin. As soon as all the girls spot that their father has woken up, they all pile onto your bed, excitedly squealing and giggling. Luckily, little baby Joelseph had already been lulled into a deep sleep after he finished nursing. Even if he hadn’t, you're pretty sure the few short weeks he’s been in the world, he’s already used to the constant noise and chaos from his older sisters.

Joel sits up on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, and tries to wrap his arm as many of them as humanly possible.

“When can we open our presents, daddy?” Tiny little Aurora questions impatiently. This is the first year she’s been able to fully understand the concept of Christmas, and all the gift giving. So, understandably, she is ecstatic for all the festivities of the day. She crawls into his lap, after attempting to clamber over all of her sisters in the way. Joel scratches at the scruff of his beard, and lifts her into his lap.

“How about we all eat breakfast first, sweetheart, then you all can tear into your gifts.” He says lowly, his voice still laced with sleep. “Sound like a plan?” He asks. The girls all nod in agreement.

You slowly stand up from the bed, still cradling baby Joelseph in your arms. Walking towards the door, you gesture for the girls to do the same. They all climb off of the bed, and without fail, the house is once again filled with chaos. All eleven of them racing out of your bedroom, and down the staircase to the kitchen.

Joel meets you by the doorway, placing a gentle kiss on your lips.

“Well hello, sleepyhead.” You tease him. “Sleep well?”

“Just like usual, darling.” He kisses you again, this time placing kisses all over your face, and down your neck, before you place your hand gently on his chest stopping him from going any further.

“Not so fast, old man.” you chuckle softly. “We don’t need another one of these.” you say, gesturing down to the baby bundled up in your arms.

“One more wouldn’t hurt, huh?” He teases, and you just shake your head. 

“You say that because you aren’t the one who has to push them out.”

“We should probably get downstairs before they get into stuff that they shouldn’t be” You murmur, and Joel quietly nods in agreement.

The warmth of the morning sun filters through the curtains, casting a soft glow over the room as you make your way into the dining room. Joel follows you, his hand brushing against the small of your back.

You and Joel enter the dining room, and expectedly the room is already filled with screaming and chaos. Alive with the energy of your daughters, and the two mischievous kittens, Ginny and Joel, weaving in and out of the chaos. 

Emilie, your oldest, is trying to settle an argument between Lacy and Lily, your first set of twins. Nothing new in your household, nearly every morning, no matter how many times you have to tell them that every seat is the same, the kids insist on fighting on who sits where, who sits next to whom. It’s exhausting, but you can’t help but smile at the chaos unfolding before you-it’s simply the routine of your everyday life.

Emilie, with her stern expression, finally manages to resolve the seating dispute between Lacy and Lily. You glance at Joel, and he chuckles, a knowing look passing between you. The girls quickly settle into their chairs, the anticipation of Christmas morning evident in their sparkling eyes. As you take your seat at the head of the table, Joel sits beside you, and the cacophony gradually subsides. Little Aurora, perched on Joel’s lap, swings her legs excitedly, eager to dive into the festivities.

“Alright, everyone, let’s dig in!” you announce with a smile, and the room erupts in cheers. The aroma of the freshly cooked breakfast wafts through the air as the kids eagerly serve themselves.

Emilie diligently helps the younger ones with their breakfast. She occasionally steals glances at the pile of gifts under the Christmas tree, anticipation gleaming in her eyes.

Lacy and Lily are engaged in animated conversation, their excitement palpable. Daisy can’t stop giggling at something Theo whispered in her ear. The second set of twins, Jane and Jules, sit side by side, already plotting mischief as they eye the presents.

Willow, with her big curious eyes, is inspecting her plate with utmost concentration, trying to decide which part of her breakfast to tackle first.

In the midst of the laughter and chatter, you catch Joel’s eye. There’s a shared understanding between you, a silent acknowledgement of the beautiful chaos that is your family. His gaze is filled with gratitude, and you can’t help but feel the same.

As the kids enjoy their breakfast, you steal a moment with Joel. “Can you believe how fast they're growing?” you murmur, your eyes dancing with a mixture of love and exhaustion.

Joel leans in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “Feels like just yesterday we were sneaking around the Tipsy Bison.”

You laugh, the memory of that fateful night vivid in your mind. “Look where it led us.”

Kylie babbles incoherently as she attempts to mimic her older siblings. Aurora still sits on Joel’s lap, her eyes wide with wonder as she takes in the festive scene, and Joel aids her with her breakfast.

Maggie sits contentedly in her high chair, fingers sticky with syrup, as she munches on a piece of a pancake you’ve carefully cut up into small pieces for her.

The kids, fueled by excitement and sugar, chatter animatedly about their plans for the day. You and Joel exchange glances, both silently reveling in the joy of parenthood. The journey hasn’t been easy, but moments like these make it all worthwhile.

As breakfast winds down, you glance at Joel, both of you silently agreeing it’s time for the much-anticipated event of the morning.

The living room is now adorned with brightly wrapped gifts, a colorful display of the love and thoughtfulness you and Joel put into each one. The kids finish their breakfast, their eyes darting eagerly between the tree and the presents.

“Alright, kiddos, let the unwrapping begin!” Joel declares, and the room explodes with excitement. Each of their little faces lighting up with joy. 

“Okay, kiddos, let’s see what Santa brought us this year!” Joel exclaims, and the room erupts in cheers. The kids, now fueled by excitement from their furry friends and a hearty breakfast, rush to the tree, each claiming a spot around the mountain of gifts.

Emily takes charge, distributing gifts to each of her siblings with precision. Paper tears and laughter fill the air as each child discovers the treasures hidden beneath the wrapping.

Lacy and Lily eagerly tear into their presents, sharing excited glances when they unveil matching toys. Daisy clutches a doll close to her heart, and Jane and Jules giggle in delight at the surprise in their packages.

Theo, wide-eyed, unwraps a superhero action figure, and Willow discovers a fluffy stuffed animal that instantly becomes her new best friend. Kylie is overjoyed with a set of building blocks, her imagination already running wild.

Aurora claps her hands in glee as she unwraps a musical toy, and Maggie, though more interested in the wrapping paper than the actual gifts, coos happily.

Daisy twirls with a new dress, her face glowing with delight. “I’m going to wear this everyday!”

Aurora, surrounded by a pile of toys, claps her hands and points excitedly. “Look, Daddy, Mommy, so many toys!” Maggie, with a new plush toy in her tiny hands, giggles with joy. The room is filled with laughter and chatter as the kids excitedly showcase their new treasures.

Jane and Jules squeal in delight as they discover Joel curled up in the tangle of discarded wrapping paper, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. Willow, with her big curious eyes, watches the kittens in fascination, occasionally reaching out to stroke their fur. Kylie bursts into giggles as Ginny playfully bats at a shiny ribbon. Aurora claps her hands in delight at the sight of the playful duo. Maggie points with chubby fingers, her face lighting up with a smile as Joel gracefully leaps onto the back of the couch.

Joel catches your eye, and you share a moment of warmth as you witness the joy on your children’s faces.

“Looks like our little fur balls are the stars of the show today.” He chuckles.

Watching as the kittens continue their playful antics. The room is filled with laughter, shouts of excitement, and the crinkling of wrapping paper.

As the chaos subsides, you lean into Joel, watching the kids with a contented smile. “Merry Christmas, Joel.” He whispers back the same sentiment, wrapping his arm around you, anchoring you in the midst of the joyful storm that is your family.

The room buzzes with the joyous laughter of your children, the kittens weaving throughout the living room. As the kids continue to show off their presents, Ginny and Joel curiously inspect the colorful array of toys and trinkets scattered across the room.

Emilie, your eldest, sits by your side, flipping through her new sketchbook. “Mom, look at this! It’s perfect for my drawings. Thank you, Santa!”

Lacy and Lily, wearing their matching necklaces, approach Joel with enthusiasm. “Dad, Dad! Can Joel play with us too?” they ask, extending an invitation for the adventurous kitten to join in on their imaginative play.

Daisy twirls around in her new dress, and with a dramatic flair, she curtsies. “I’m a princess, just like in the stories!”

Jane and Jules, holding their new board game, insist on a family game night. Jules, gives you a confused look, glancing from the box, and then back up at you. “What is Boggle anyway?” 

“It’s just a word game, sweetheart, definitely an easy game to beat your dad at.” you laugh softly, shooting Joel a teasing grin.

Willow proudly shows you the fluffy stuffed animal she received. “Look Mom, It’s Fluffy! Daddy, feel how soft!” She grabs his hand to place it on the stuffed animal, and Joel enthusiastically plays along with her.

Kylie, engrossed in building her tower with the new blocks, beams with accomplishment. “It’s bigger than me, Mommy!” You smile at her gently, and give her compliments on her tower building skills.

Maggie, in her own little world, squeezes her plush toy and gurgles happily. The kittens, sensing the playful atmosphere, join in on the fun, batting at the discarded ribbons and chasing each other around the room.

Joel, still basking in the warmth of the family scene, leans over to you. “Seems like Santa knew exactly what they wanted.”

You nod, a content smile playing on your lips, ‘And the best part is seeing their faces light up with joy.”

The room is filled with laughter, the sound of wrapping paper being crinkled, and the occasional meow from Ginny and Joel. The chaos is harmonious, a melody of love and togetherness that defines your family.

The kids, their excitement undeterred, start brainstorming plans for the day–games to play, stories to tell, and perhaps a snowball fight if the weather permits. As the festivities continue, you can’t help but feel grateful for the love and warmth that fills your home–a treasure more precious than any gift under the tree.

As the kids reveled in the excitement of unwrapping their Christmas gifts, their attention turned to the chalkboard on the mantle–a poignant memorial to their older sister, Sarah. The room hushed momentarily as the children exchanged thoughtful glances, understanding the significance of the chalkboard.

The kids had put together some artwork and drawings the night before. They gather around the chalkboard, placing their artwork in front of it, creating a beautiful display of love and remembrance. The room, now adorned with their heartfelt tributes, felt infused with a sense of warmth and connection to Sarah’s memory.

Joel, watching from a distance, can't help but be moved by the sincerity and creativity of his children. The simple act of setting their drawings in front of the chalkboard transformed the mantle into a gallery of love—a tangible expression of the enduring impact Sarah's memory had on their hearts.

As the morning continued, the drawings stood as cherished tokens—a beautiful reminder that, even in the midst of joyous celebrations, the love for their sister would always hold a special place in the family's heart.

You nudge Joel gently, catching his attention. “Any Idea when Ellie, Dina, and JJ are planning to arrive?”

Joel looks thoughtful for a moment, his eyes scanning the room to make sure all the kids are engaged in their newfound treasures. “They’re aiming to get here just in time for lunch. Should be any moment now.”

Excitement lights up on your face at the news. “The kids are going to be over the moon to see them again, and It wouldn’t be Christmas without them.”

Joel nods in agreement, a fond smile playing on his lips. “Ellie’s always been good at timing. They’ll be here soon.”

As if on cue, a gentle knock at the door catches your attention. You glance at Joel, both of you sharing a knowing smile. The anticipation in the room heightens as the kids, sensing something special, look toward the door with wide eyes. Moments later, the front door bursts open, and the lively chatter of Ellie and Dina fills the air. The children squeal in delight, dropping their toys and rushing toward the doorway. Ellie enters first, holding JJ’s hand, Dina follows closely behind with a warm grin on her face.

The kids shout at them in unison, enveloping the new arrivals in a sea of hugs and excitement. You and Joel stand back, watching the heartwarming reunion unfold.

Ellie, catching your eye, gives you a knowing nod. “Merry Christmas!” she says as she greets you and Joel. You welcome them with open arms, a surge of joy filling your heart. “We’re so glad you’re here.”

As the laughter and joyful chaos continue to fill the room, you can’t help but marvel at the beautiful tapestry of your family, woven together by love, shared moments, and the bonds that withstand the test of time.

Amidst the joyful commotion, you navigate through the sea of excited children, still cradling little Joelseph in your arms. Joel joins you, and together you watch as Ellie, Dina, and JJ immerse themselves in the holiday cheer.

Ellie, after receiving an enthusiastic welcome from the kids, approaches you with a playful grin.

“How’s the newest little troublemaker doing?” she asks, casting an affectionate glance at Joelseph.

You chuckle, gently rocking the sleeping baby in your arms. “He’s been an angel all morning, surprisingly.” you yawn, tiredly.

Dina joins the conversation, “He’s gotten so big since we last saw him. Mind if we steal him for a bit?”

You nod with a smile, carefully passing Joelseph over to Dina. The little one stirs for a moment, but settles back into a peaceful slumber in Dina’s arms. “He’s all yours.’

The room continues to buzz with giggles and Ellie, Dina, and JJ become a seamless part of the festivities. The kids eagerly show them their new toys, and soon, the kittens, Ginny and Joel join the playful parade.

As the day unfolds, the house becomes a vibrant canvas, painted with the hues of love and togetherness. Joel, now with Aurora on his shoulders, navigates through the lively crowd. You find a quiet moment with Ellie, who is holding Joelseph with a tender smile.

“He’s adorable,” Ellie remarks, her eyes filled with a mix of nostalgia and affection. “Feels like just yesterday you were dealing with my teenage antics.”

You laugh, remembering those not-so-distant days. “Time flies, doesn’t it? Now look at us, and you, with a little family of your own.”

Ellie glances around the room, the sparkle of the holiday lights reflecting in her eyes. “Couldn’t ask for a better way to spend Christmas. And look at Joel, still being the heart and soul of this chaos.”

You follow her gaze to Joel, who is now surrounded by a group of kids, listening intently to one of Jane and Jules’ stories. The love in his eyes is evident as he shares in their laughter and mischief.

Ellie looks back at you, a soft smile playing on her lips. “You both did an amazing job. I’m proud to be part of this.”

And in that moment, as the laughter and warmth of your family envelop you, you couldn’t agree more. This Christmas, with all its magic, has woven another chapter into the rich tapestry of your lives–a chapter filled with love, laughter, and the cherished moments that make your family truly extraordinary.

As the festivities continue, Ellie, still cradling Joelseph, couldn’t resist the opportunity to tease Joel. With a mischievous twinkle in her eye, she approaches Joel, who’s now attempting to disentangle himself from a knot of kids.

“Hey, old man,” Ellie quips, giving Joel a playful nudge. “You holding up okay with all these little rascals running around?”

Joel chuckles, a playful glint in his eyes. “Someone’s gotta keep ‘em in check. You’ll find out soon enough, Ellie. Parenthood’s no joke.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow, her gaze shifting to Joelseph. “You’re the expert now, huh? It took you guys long enough to figure out the secret recipe for a baby boy.”

Joel grumbles and feigns offense. “Well, it’s not like we had a manual.”

Ellie rolls her eyes. “Says the guy who needed a football team's worth of daughters before finally getting a son.”

You join in on the banter, giving Joel an amused smile. “Took a bit of trial and error, but look at our charming little Joelseph now.”

Ellie leans in, bouncing the baby gently in her arms. “Not bad for an old guy, huh, kiddo?” she cooed, earning a content gurgle from the baby.

As the day of joyful chaos begin to wind down, the once lively house now settles into a more serene atmosphere. The twinkling lights of the Christmas tree cast a gentle glow over the living room as the laughter of the children gradually transforms into quiet giggles and yawns.

You and Joel, tired but content, herd the kids upstairs for their bedtime routine. The kittens, Ginny and Joel, follow along, their playful antics slowing down as they, too, sensing the impending calm.

“Alright kiddos, time for bed.” Joel announces, his tone gentle but firm as he ushers the kids into their respective rooms.

The procession of bedtime rituals unfold–one by one, teeth are brushed, pajamas are put on, and stories are read. The younger ones nestle into their beds, eyelids growing heavy with the sweet fatigue of a day filled with excitement.

As you check on each child, offering goodnight kisses and tucking them in, Joel moves gracefully through the house, turning off the twinkling lights and closing curtains. The house seems to exhale, the echoes of joyous laughter replaced by the hushed whispers of bedtime.

In the quiet moments between putting the kids to bed, you found Joel in the hallway, sharing a look of satisfaction passing between you. The day had been a whirlwind of love and joy, and now the peaceful hush settles over the house like a comforting blanket.

“Another Christmas for the books,” Joel remarks, his voice low.

You nod, a smile playing on your lips. “And many more to come, I hope.”

The two of you continue the nightly routine, gently closing doors and ensuring the house was ready for the calm of night. The soft glow of the light spilling from your bedroom illuminates your path as you and Joel make your way into the room, where little Joelseph lay sleeping in his bassinet.

Joel pauses by the doorway, his eyes fondly watching the baby. “He’s been the best gift, hasn’t he?”

You nod, a warmth settling in your heart. “The best, indeed.”

The day had been a symphony of chaos and joy, a beautiful crescendo that had now found its resolution in the quietude of the evening. As you and Joel retire to your room, you can’t help but reflect on the blessings of family, love, and the precious moments that make Christmas truly magical.

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[dandy-s-dreamway-express]

Okay.

AU Lore Explanation Time

—————————————————————————————————————————

Part I: Main Summary

Dandy’s Dreamway Express is a Dandy’s World AU that tends to have two sides to it. The first side is the wholesome and sweet dreamcore aesthetic in a way. Mostly think of pastel colors and lovely things you see in your dreams. Both in the past and now. This side of the AU is kinda like the main ordeal with the normal toons being themselves. Both kinda in character and….just as themselves. Everyone enjoying their jobs and each other’s company while on an endless dream-way express. (Yes even Shrimpo enjoys his time on the train. He just cannot show it the proper way.) Anyone and everyone is allowed to interact with the entire cast, including seasonal toons. (I REFUSE to leave those beans out.) The other side to this AU revolves around the Twisted Counterparts and the Ichor itself. You could say that the ichor is more as a mix of a hive-mind substance that does make up the toons, but also can kinda leak itself into the real world. Now the funny part is this. The reason the Dreamway Express exists as a whole is due to the AU versions of the Toon Handlers. In this case, they were the first dreamers of the Dreamway express, somehow giving it life. However, due to the decline of their health, the toons were left to themselves, kinda like canon, but rather than deteriorate in public, they hide their twisted halves of their nature. They never show their true nature. Well…..not unless if they have to. But yeah. That’s the summary

Part II: Toon Roles

Okay! Time for everyone’s job/role on the Dreamway Express! 🥳 (I may not finish first try, there are a lot of toons to write for.)

Dandy: Head Conductor

Astro: Dreamway’s Observer, Dandy’s Right Hand Man

Sprout: Head chef of the Express

Shelly: Dinosaur Exhibit Cart Curator and Director, Inventory,

Vee: Gameshow Hostess, Surveillance, Head of the Entertainment Department of the Express, Head of the Security,

Bassie: She runs everything Easter related. Has her own shop and Easter Cart where the other Easter toons reside.

Bobette: Everyone knows she runs the Christmas cart as well as events and activities. She is the one who keeps up everyone’s morale during the cold.

Cocoa: The Lady of Bunbuns. Will be the baker and decorator of Easter. She also looks out for others as extra support.

Flyte: One speedy waiter that never wastes an order, despite how fast he is. Works with the other Easter toons as well as helps his sister (yes Flutter) as back up in case something happens. He also helps with security.

Eggson: The peepaw who happily watches over the younger dreamers of the AU.

Rudie: The nightlight and entertainer of the Christmas Toons. Whenever it would be nightime upon the Dreamway Express, you would see him and Brightney help Tisha whenever she goes to clean up before bed (in cases the ichor hive mind DOESN'T take over on that certain night, more on that later),

Ginger:

Goob: He is definitely one of the workers that works in the daycare cart. A Caretaker who loves Arts and Crafts, security, sometimes small errands, staff morale #2, literally just the staff members' biggest bean <:3

Scraps: Fellow Caretaker and Security staff, Goob's #1 Guardian/Bodyguard (eldest sibling do what she gotta do), greatly observant of everyone's actions and character.

[llondonfog]

as promised for coming home on my only 10-pull key, a little birthday drabble for our beloved peepaw :) pls enjoy & happy new year to all!

". . . Cookies?"

He makes no effort to disguise the insulted disbelief as he stares down at the plate of misshapen treats, eyebrows flying so far into his hairline that they nearly disappear.

"He may be but a child, and a human at that, but surely he ought to understand the gravity of your former position, the glories in which you are entitled to—"

"Former, and disgraced if I might add," Lilia corrects him, a lopsided grin tugging on his face as he too gazes at the plate of cookies with a ludicrously pleased expression. "And Silver is all of seven, Baul. A seven year old child who worked rather hard today at staying awake to surprise me with something delicious, so I'd be most grateful if you could manage to tame that famous Zigvolt boom as I'd hate for him to wake up from his nap."

It's worse than Baul could have ever expected.

Lilia Vanrouge, the fearless and fearsome once general of the fae armies, the former right hand to their dearly departed princess, turned sentimental over a plate of lumpy, and frankly burnt on the edges, cookies.

He'd come over to further discuss the matter of his grandson training with his former commander, staunchly ignorant of his own sentimentality towards the halfling child who so closely resembled him in both pride and spirit, only to find the fae sitting alone at the kitchen table with an odd and unfamiliar expression vulnerable upon his face and cradling a cookie as carefully within his talons as if it were spun from glass. Baul had nearly leapt to arms, convinced that there had been some sort of spell or potion from those who still wished ill upon Lilia cast to tempt him into eating such bizarre looking food— even though it looked clumsily made, there was simply no way he would have been fooled into believing it had been the product of Lilia's disastrous attempts. It simply wasn't foul enough— when Lilia had startled back into awareness, only to laugh at him and proclaim to Baul's utter bewilderment that these...cookies, were in fact his birthday gift from the human child residing within his home.

To which Baul promptly informed Lilia that he had taken leave of his senses and he'd never once shared that he knew of his birthday before. If he had, there'd have been no chance of the entire country forgetting it for the wondrous celebration Meleanor and Levan would have certainly thrown in the honor of their dearest friend.

"You're right," Lilia had said, smiling that strange little half-smile as he broke his gaze away from the plate to the quiet hallway leading from the kitchen. "But then again, I had nothing about myself to celebrate until very recently."

And there, the crux of the matter, the elephant in the room that Baul never truly questioned out of loyalty to the fae that had given more than anyone ever could to the sake of their country, to the Draconias alone. The human child, the boy that had shown up suddenly and stolen Lilia away to the forest, bewitched him somehow into playing house. Baul cannot understand it— Lilia had more reason than any of them to loathe humanity, to shun it for the remainder of his life and seek to live in peace away from their kind after their unforgivable transgressions.

Instead, in front of his astounded eyes, he can only watch in silence as a tear splashes down upon the chocolate speckled surface of the cookie before it's hastily crammed into Lilia's mouth, the fae spinning around to grin at him as if in blissful ignorance of the redness gathering at the corners of his eyes.

"They're a bit salty, Baul, but I've never tasted anything better!"

Oh, he thinks, heart shaking in place as he too glances towards where a certain slumbering boy lies. Oh, you old fool. Do you even know how deep you've gone?

[skunkes]

ok ok i have another way to word my thots about the movies thus far:

i think Art is pretty iconic design wise. Im not against gory slashers I think we should have more of those and I like that a series so "shocking" is doing so well...its more like.

The franchise establishes pretty immediately that it's not Serious...as mentioned the first movie has a naked woman sawed in half from crotch down so idk how you'd even make it to the 3rd one without knowing How It Is. But with how the first one barely has any plot, and the second one has A Bit More but drags on and on...its like... SO FAR (because I haven't seen the 3rd one) these movies aren't Fun to watch ykwim.

I know Saw isn't a good comparison bc its a different genre within horror but the franchise really is like a telenovela... its so stupid (good) and it has lots to complain about and pick at in the FUN way, like poking fun at peepaw and his warehouses and home depot purchases, going "are you kidding me thats so dumb" at that scene where hoffman manages to be snuck into the station in a body bag to start killing people. Varuous moments of stupid ass dialogue writing. Im not saying it cant be boring or unliked but i think it has a good balance of everything (eyerolling moments, plot, "lighthearted" and humorous moments, intentional or not) even if its not a masterpiece in the writing department.

And that's just within the series, I usually avoid bringing up fandom bc that's obviously a different beast I rarely even touch but its more about how its fandom actually has that foundation to go off of. Like you know enough about peepaw's backstory and such to springboard off of, regardless of it being good or not

Here it's like man there's a hot cool clown, lots of gore, really corny and cornily acted out writing, and its not even FUN? 😭 2 movies (again I haven't made it to the 3rd) and I wouldn't watch them again, not because of the gore but because despite not being serious, reinforced by that very drawn out over the top kill in the second one, it's not even fun... you cant even attach to the silly dialogue because the whole rest of the movie is a drag. Does this make sense? It's like. Everything combined to make it Not Fun. Whereas at least with Saw you can start joking about how someone just wasn't trying hard enough to win peepaw's foundationally silly ass "you tried to kill yourself now you're in the try not to kill yourself" trap.

It's at odds with itself. I've seen like one Halloween movie and can barely even remember it but I know all the jokes about outrunning Michael Myers (and that cat and mouse is also Fun)...theres also like 50 of those movies I KNOW theyre probably also fun to watch and complain about the absurdity... I think the issue here might also be the straightforwardness and point A point B of it all. There's not really much anyone can do against Art, which is fine, some saw traps are literally unwinnable after all. But Terrifier doesn't even give you the chance to, like, boast about how you definitely could have survived the Silence Circle trap because you're not an idiot... it's just not Fun. To me.

I think Art himself is fun and the corny dialogue are fun. I'll even go ahead and say the gore is fun because again like come on the clown literally rips a guys cock off its Absurd... but they seem to be trapped in movie(s) that so far aren't fun

[pathologicalreid]

Criminal Minds: Evolution (Recap)

previously on cme

all of season 17 of criminal minds tied up in one unorganized package for your reading pleasure. spoilers coming, duh.

Episode 1: Gold Star

Written by Erica Messer Directed by Doug Aarniokoski

Two weeks following the events of the last season, a man—Bertoli—comes into a police department carrying a dead woman (his wife). She’s been shot and enucleated. When they start to question Bertoli, Emily shows up and suggests that they check his gun. Telling them that there will be a bullet in there with a five-point star etched onto it. That’s the real killers calling card.

The rest of the team is having a birthday party for Penelope, and they’re playing like. Glorified Cards Against Humanity. CME is obsessed with slapstick humor, and it’s very hit or miss.

Rossi is traumatized! He hallucinates Voit being there and taunting him, as Rossi usually does when he gets too emotionally involved in a case. Sigh.

Tyler and Penelope are still flirting, and Luke clocks her for it. Guys, I am so. GIRL, YOU DON’T NEED HIM.

Emily blames herself for Doug Bailey’s death, so she calls Tara in at 12:30. They talk about Gold Star, deducing that Gold Star is a person—an UnSub.

Save me Temily sharing a cigarette on the roof of the FBI. Save me.

The DOJ, specifically Rebecca, is looking into the Bertoli case. She’s communicating with Voit regarding Gold Star.

In the end scene of the last season, Voit was meeting with the director of the FBI (Phil Coulson from the MCU btw), Ray Madison. Gold Star is a top secret case, and since he used Voit’s network to communicate, the BAU needs Voit’s help to catch Gold Star. In return, the Director tells him the DOJ is willing to make a deal with him.

JJ is blonder in this season.

The Sicarius charges are off the table; Voit can never be charged as Sicarius. Cue peepaw crashout.

Tara finds out that Rebecca is communicating with Voit, and they have a fight.

All of the killings that seem to be connected with Gold Star have a calling card, the five-point star etched on a bullet. They go back to Bertoli. Bertoli shoots himself.

The BAU needs to find Gold Star first, or else Voit gets away with everything.

Funnily enough, Luke is the one who suggests they involve Tyler Green with this case. Insane behavior, in my opinion.

Gold Star keeps killing people and it’s very uneventful frankly.

JJ gets to be the first member of the BAU to talk to Voit while he’s in his cage.

Episode 2: Contagion

Written by Matthew Lau Directed by AJ Cook

This season drops the “case of the week” format more than season 16.

Voit doesn’t engage with JJ when she goes into his cell to talk to him about Gold Star. They’re trying to get him to implicate himself so he can be charged as Sicarius.

Two teachers from Provo, UT were killed, and the male victim was enucleated. They can’t figure out why the two teachers were targeted. Rossi and Emily go to Utah and Tara stays to babysit Tyler.

JJ tries to get Voit to cooperate, promising that she’ll get Sydney to open one of his letters. He’s been sending her and the girls mail, but Sydney returns them all unopened. Voit and Gold Star were trading murder techniques over the network, they just needed to get Voit to admit that.

The male victim’s shoelaces were removed, and they propose Gold Star was institutionalized.

The couple’s son talks about a behavioral modification program, but he can’t remember the name. The police find a program called Stuart House, but it doesn’t seem like they’re connected. (Spoiler: they are.)

Rossi interrupts Emily when she tells the police they’re ready to give the profile, and he says they aren’t. When he goes back to talk to her, she tells him, “You never would’ve done that to Hotch.”

Tyler is doing hinky shit again, finding a bunch of fake passports while he’s supposed to be on a stakeout with Tara and Rebecca.

Voit stopped talking again, filing a petition that he won’t talk to JJ anymore. Emily has Luke go in instead of JJ.

So, while we do get the first mention of Stuart House—which is important—the UnSub in this case is not Gold Star. They’re looking for Gold Star as a singular UnSub.

Luke and Voit talk together, and Luke is supposed to seem small and scared, but he doesn’t listen to JJ and Emily and acts resistant because he recognizes Voit doesn’t want to play games. This appeals to Voit, and they actually get somewhere with him!

Voit says Gold Star is more than a serial killer and tells them that their profile is completely wrong and it’s going to get people killed. Voit is fucking with them btw.

Emily asks Aiden to tell them about Gold Star, but Rossi has to shoot him to save his hostage. Penelope says there’s no way that Aiden could’ve been Gold Star because the geographic profiles don’t line up.

Voit whispers something to Luke, telling him he has a secret and he needs to decide if it’s true or false.

Episode 3: Homesick

Written by Sullivan Fitzgerald and Carlton Gillespie Directed by Adam Rodriguez

Voit whispered a website in Luke’s ear that leads to a site on the darknet called BAU Gate. Which includes pictures of members of the team in deepfaked pornography. One member of the team shows up more often than any of the others.

Emily knew about the website, it was a problem she inherited from Hotch.

Someone is leaking information to a conspiracy theorist, it just so happens to be Brian Garrity, Emily’s neighbor from 15x4 “Saturday”. He’s airing theories on Doug Bailey’s death.

There is a case of the week! They’re unrelated to Gold Star, and for that reason, I will be omitting that information from the recap.

Luke tells JJ about BAU Gate even though Emily told him not to, but JJ already knew. Luke is still convinced she doesn’t know how deep it goes and kind of plants a seed of curiosity in her head.

JJ and Luke ask Sydney to talk to Elias in person, but Sydney doesn’t want to talk to him after what he did. Rightfully so. She wants to protect herself and her daughters, Luke talks to Holly and Harlow, Holly is angry, and Luke realizes it goes past usual teenage angst and she’s hiding something. She’s been hurting herself.

Emily meets with Brian, trying to get him to tell her who is leaking the information about Doug Bailey. Someone was taking surveillance photos of them!

Emily mentions that Doug had a brother okay this is important for later.

Sydney find out Holly is hurting herself and decides to help the BAU because the thinks she’s 1. Taking back power and 2. It might convince the government to get them into WITSEC faster.  

JJ gets curious and looks up the BAU Gate website.

Emily goes to meet with Brian again, but he gets attacked while they’re talking. He tells the police that she attacked him.

Episode 4: Kingdom of the Blind

Written by Chikodili Agwuna and Jayne A. Archer Directed by Joe Mantegna

We are in Jackpot, Nevada, and we get to see my favorite character. My number one: “They did nothing wrong.” Jade Waters.

She tricks a man into helping her by pretending to be stranded on the side of the road, and she attacks him while he’s looking at her car. She takes his deputy badge before bludgeoning him to death while banshee screaming.

Emily gets her mugshot taken. How much do you wanna bet Luke printed it out and posted it on the fridge in the BAU?

Tyler is up to fuck shit again, he’s trying to find Gold Star using non-FBI approved methods and Penelope is not having any of it.

Rossi keeps hallucinating Voit while he goes to pick Emily up from MPD.

JJ is super out of it, this is because of the BAU Gate thing. She’s spacing out and is very reserved.

Sydney and Elias meet in prison, and she genuinely wants nothing to do with him. She tells him that Holly’s hurting herself and he’s concerned but she doesn’t take anything he does seriously. They got into WITSEC so Sydney tells him this is the last time they’ll see each other.

The team gets called into the case in Nevada! They say it’s not Gold Star until they prove it.

Jade gives herself stick and poke tattoos every time she kills someone.

Penelope has to jailbreak a phone that Tyler illegally cloned from someone who was involved in Gold Star. He helps her get into the information on the phone.

Sydney and the girls go to talk with Elias. Harlow is willing to hug and talk but Holly is not.

There was tattoo ink in the enucleated victim’s eyes. Jade used a tattoo needle to gouge out his eyes. She’s so dreamy.

Tara concludes that the UnSub is a woman and decides that it definitely can’t be Gold Star because it’s a woman.

Holly figures out that Voit is evil even though they were trying to hide the truth from her. She has him read a letter in which she calls him a serial killer murderer, and then she pulls a blade out AND TRIES TO KILL HIM. Voit is horrified at the idea of Holly becoming like him and begs Luke to help her.

Holly did nothing wrong imo.

Brian Garrity referred to Gold Star as a program instead of an individual, which makes the team start to rethink it. Then they find that Jade’s two most recent victims both worked at Stuart House, the same place that they found/killed Aiden Keller in episode 2. They reanalyze that case, now believing they are all connected. They’re all revenge kills, and they go back to Salt Lake City to revisit Stuart House.

Jade is back <3

She slashes a man’s tires, standing up and greeting him as her father. He knows what she did in Nevada, and she calls herself a daddy’s girl before he tells her to get in the car.

Frankly, I don’t care for Tyler and Penelope and their dynamic, but here I am forced to watch them yap at each other.

Someone saw Jade get into her father’s car, and they identify her through him. Noting that she spent time at Stuart House as a child. They find the car on the side of the road with Rick Waters inside of it. She killed him.

He brought her out to the same place where he killed her mother before she shot and killed him. When she tried to report him for her mother’s murder, he had her committed to Stuart House.

Jade is targeted by someone who has a gold star etched into their bullet. (Hmmmmmm). He covers her mouth and it turns out his name is Damien. He killed someone for her because they were being targeted by the people who have been getting killed. Damien is the one they’ve been profiling as Gold Star.

Gold Star is a strike team with five members, and the Gold Star killers consist of five kids who were at Stuart House, two of whom are Aiden Keller and Jade Waters. The kids are planning a reunion.

Emily tries to get Voit to contact Damien, and they arrange for Holly to get one-on-one treatment with a bureau program. However, in order to contact Damien, Voit needs to be let out of his cell. Sigh.

Whew that was a lot.

Episode 5: Conspiracy vs. Theory

Written by Breen Frazier Directed by Sharat Raju

So! Voit is out of prison and is brought to Quantico to connect with Damien and lead the team to him and Jade. Voit comes in and directs them on how to find Damien through a backdoor on an innocuous website.

Voit talks to Damien and tries to convince him to meet in person. Damien is hesitant because Voit always told him that remaining anonymous is the best method to not get caught. While he’s on the call, Voit taps on the desk in the BAU in Morse code, sending Damien a message about the next target being North Star.

Once they clock that, Emily and Rossi wonder if they can use the message to benefit them somehow, but it just pisses Luke off because he decodes the message before Dave and Emily say anything.

Rebecca wants to send Voit back to prison, but Rossi comes out and suggests that Voit travel with them to meet with Damien. He’s coming up with a plan to kill Voit, scheming to tempt him with escape, leaving him no choice but to shoot him.

They bring Voit on the plane, and while he’s on it, he pokes and prods at the team. Namely Luke, who he pesters by bringing up Tyler and Penelope’s connection (Garvez is real, I scream as the nice men in the white coats drag me away).

While the rest of the team flies with Voit, Emily and Tyler (who is, begrudgingly, now a permanent fixture here) meet with Brian Garrity to see why he framed Emily and what he knows about Gold Star.

I made dinner during this episode, so my notes are slightly lackluster, but we are back now, hello.

Forgot to mention that Damien and Jade are loversssss.

Garrity won’t talk to Emily and asks for a lawyer (he’s not even under arrest).

In Iowa, they send Voit into a park to meet with Damien—the extent to which they want to kill Voit is almost comedic. Like I get it. But also.

The plan goes wrong, of course. Jade and Damien sent someone out there with a bomb strapped to his chest to create a distraction. Naturally.

Jade and Voit talk on the phone, Jade and Damien think he lied about North Star. Voit does a classic “I know why you do this” profiling technique that he probably learned from Rossi’s books to try to trick Jade.

Penelope blocks the cell signal from setting off the bomb, and Jade walks away. Right past two police cruisers.

Voit thinks about running, but he sees the rifle trained on him and surrenders.

Damien poses as a local officer and gets into the armored truck that Voit is in before asking him how to get North Star.

Garrity tells Emily that his informant told him “Teresa is in trouble.” This leads Tyler to make a phone call to an unknown person and says, “You might be in trouble.”

Emily gets put on restricted duty, and the director puts Rossi back in charge of the BAU. She crashes out about how she feels like she’s losing her values. And peepaw comforts her.

Episode 6: Message in a Bottle

Written by Sullivan Fitzgerald and Carlton Gillespie Directed by Nelson McCormick

Rossi has a nightmare where Voit overpowers the guards at the prison and kills the rest of the team in front of him. Specifically shooting Emily and Rossi.

Rossi’s gun doesn’t work, just like Spencer’s season 15 dream, which Reid’s therapist says is a very common law enforcement dream.

Emily goes full crashout and eventually ends up sleeping on Garcia’s couch, Penelope puts a bucket in front of her before going to work.

Rossi’s hallucinations get worse. This man is withering away so bad I keep thinking he’s about to kick it lol.

JJ catches on that Penelope knows something about Emily, so she gets Penelope to hand over her keys.

Tyler brings a mystery woman (Teresa, the person he called at the end of the last episode; ex gf) into the BAU and enlists Luke to help him. Luke really does not like Tyler. Agree.

JJ goes to Penelope’s apartment to find Emily and very innocently eats a Cheeto puff off the counter. Emily is very high, and the Cheeto was an edible.

Emily eats chips with chopsticks, and I’d like to let you know that I do the same thing with nearly everything.

JJ middle names Emily. Emily Elizabeth. I can’t think about it without thinking of Clifford the Big Red Dog.

Tara and Rossi talk about his delusions of grandeur, and she tells him he’s traumatized (wbk) and needs to confront Voit.

JJ eats like the whole bag of edibles not knowing. You guys are gonna lose your jobs. Emily says she’s gonna quit the FBI but JJ tells her she shouldn’t make any big decisions right now.

Emily has never read The Catcher in the Rye and she’s better off for it.

Rossi imagines he gets trapped in the elevator and is buried alive. Guys. I did it first. Run me my check.

This is kind of a filler episode and just an excuse to do the jemily scene and build “tension” between Luke, Penelope, and Tyler.

I’m assuming if you’re a fan of this show or of jemily even you know the “It gives me you” scene so. I don’t need to recount it for you. Surely.

The hat man is coming for me.

Voit and Rossi talk about why he mentioned Gold Star to Douglas Bailey and also why Rossi can’t seem to get Voit out of his head. Voit pretty much just fucks with him the whole time.

LUKE IS IN LOVE WITH PENELOPEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! GARVEZZZZZZZZ

Tyler sets up a sting for someone from his old life, kind of signifying him crossing over to the FBI and leaving behind his life of crime. Then Rossi calls an all-hands meeting and includes Tyler, further solidifying this.

In the 90s, Gideon and Rossi were enlisted to produce a report that could basically create serial killers. They never published it because it sounded like a recipe. Someone got ahold of the drafts and created the Gold Star killers.

North Star is the BAU. It all leads back to them.

Episode 7: Piranha

Written by Chikodili Agwuna and Jayne A. Archer Directed by Aisha Tyler

Right away. There is a case of the week in this episode, but it is so graphic and disturbing that I don’t want to recap it. Like there’s even a warning at the beginning of the episode. I’m not usually one to be icked out by graphic CM episodes, but this one is too much for me.

It’s one of those episodes with a twist where you can’t stop thinking about how fucked up it is.

The team starts talking about the white paper that Rossi and Gideon wrote, they all are uncomfortable with the fact that their research influenced Gold Star.

Rossi shows Emily all of the paper files that the BAU used in the 90s and they have to go through them. He tells her they didn’t have a Penelope Garcia back then, they had Jill. First name only, but apparently the BAU cost her more than Emily and Rossi combined.

The white paper studied epigenetics, or specifically situational psychopathy.

Emily asks Tyler to come with her to recruit Jill Gideon even though Rossi told her to leave her out of it. She was the only therapist that Jason trusted even after they divorced.

Voit meets with his lawyer, and Voit suggests he could have the lawyer’s wife (whom he’s separated from) disappear if the lawyer helps him get his deal with the FBI to go through.

When Emily goes to Jill’s door, there’s this funny scene where Jill asks about Hotch, Derek, and Spencer and Emily has to be like uhhhhh well.

Jill and Rossi had an affair while she was still married to Jason. She’s the reason that Rossi left the BAU. Jill refuses to go back to the BAU, but when Tyler comes in, she realizes that Emily is trying to manipulate her because Tyler looks a little bit like Stephen. It works.

Voit coerces his lawyer to dig up a kill kit to kill his wife. He’s going to pass the job over to Damien. Voit tells his lawyer not to open the case, but the lawyer does anyway.

Jill returns to the BAU.

Episode 8: North Star

Written by Charles Dewey and Christopher Barbour Directed by Zach Gilford

Jade Waters frantically knocks on a man’s door, telling him someone’s after her. It’s a ruse, of course, Damien and Jade blocked his cell signal and his phone line. It’s safe to assume he was involved in Gold Star/Stuart House. Jade bludgeons him <3

I think the weird tension between David and Jill is weird and unnecessary like why the fuck did David Rossi need to spread it around so bad. He had three wives but needed his best friend’s wife too. Skip!

Jade Waters, I am free on Thursday night and would like to hang out. Please respond to this and then hang out with me on Thursday night when I’m free.

I think they go a little too crazy with the cursing in evolution but it is satisfying when things go awry to hear JJ say shit. Like yeah. Shit.

Jade has a nightmare from what happened in Stuart House, and she and Damien promise each other that they’ll never go back into a cage. So, if one of them gets caught, the other will kill them before they’re contained. OoooHhOhOo foreshadowing!

Basically, Jill worked to build the Gold Star program without knowing what they were doing, and Jade and Damien are systematically working to kill every person who took part in that. Jill is also on their hit list.

Damien sees Rossi with Jill and thinks that the FBI is involved in Gold Star, but Jill had no idea what was happening.

Voit’s lawyer, Vincent, had been communicating with Sicarius on the network, all of the messages and photos were traced back to Vincent’s IP address. Vincent is into torture porn, which is why Voit gets to blackmail him into doing whatever he wants.

You can tell the pacing is weird in this season. They should’ve figured out the North Star thing earlier.

Rossi didn’t go to Gideon’s funeral because he couldn’t see her.

Damien Booth had to kill his foster father, the only person who ever tried to protect him, as his final task to “graduate” from Stuart House and make sure that his conditioning was complete.

Damien comes to Jill’s house, and she asks him if she can show him something. He lets her take him somewhere, they go to Gideon’s cabin. I fear she wanted to go there so she could die in the same place Jason died.

Jill tells Damien that he was tricked into killing his foster father, but reassures him that he did what he needed to do to survive. She convinces him to put his gun down, but he knows the FBI is probably after them at this point. He knows they’re not going to let him go, and because of the deal he made with Jade, he knows he’s going to die. It’s such a shame because I was really rooting for him to make it.

Jade shoots him and she gets away.

Y’all you really can’t see shit in this show. I know it’s nighttime but oh my god.

Episode 9: Stars & Stripes

Written by Christopher Barbour Directed by Bethany Rooney

Jade’s crashing out—free my girl from her brain. She gets pulled over in Maryland for speeding, and when he asks for her license and registration, he asks her to get out of the car. He identifies her, and another girl comes out of the car. The other girl shoots him, and Jade stabs him in the eye with her tattoo needle.

Can’t believe the CME budget ran out and they can’t afford lights anymore.

Voit is going to be sent to a comfy federal prison. The team can’t allow that to happen.

Spencer mention <3 I’d be upset that they bring him up to info dump even when he’s not there but Penelope is the one who does it so it’s fun.

Financially, Penelope connects all of the victims to a company called Aida Limited and the man in charge, Frank Church. They figure that him and Aida are the ones who paid the strike team to take out the Gold Stars.

The team investigates the trooper that Jade and the other girl killed and enucleated, they left him alive and told him to only speak to the FBI. Since there’s only one other female Gold Star left, the other girl is Dana, GS-Four.

Jade and Dana go to the shipping container that Voit’s lawyer led them to, inside of it, there is a wall with the BAU’s pictures plastered to it. Including photos of Tyler Green. Jade and Dana are going to look for Peter, GS-Three.

Dana tells Jade they need help to “defeat” the BAU at the end of the conspiracy and they need to go home.

The message that Jade left with the trooper is that she never wanted to hurt anyone and she just wants to go home. Leaving him alive was the last of her mercy, and if they come after her, the streets will run with their blood.

They’re going to go after them. So.

Their home is Aida, and the “puppet master” in question is Frank Church.

They recover a polystyrene case from Jade’s stolen car. Finally connecting that Voit had been helping Damien and Jade.

The team finds the shipping container/bunker, seeing all of the photos that implicate the entire team. It’s reminiscent of the scene in season 8 when the team finds The Replicator’s shrine.

Frank Church literally reeeeeks of evil guy. Conniving and slimy and evil!!!!

Penelope says Church has rizz. Like in the way Jim Jones did. Cult rizz.

Since Church trashed his old group of killers, he’s started collecting a new group of damaged teenagers to manipulate and kill. This show is so dark and twisted I hate it here.

Dana and Jade go back to Frank Church, and they don’t know that he’s evil. He sends Jade to the dormitories and kills Dana.

Jade sees another girl, Mila, and she sees Church tell her things that she recognizes hearing in Stuart House. My girl clocks his bullshit because he uses the word conspiracy. She hasn’t figured out that he’s the one who sent the strike team yet, but she’s suspicious.

Mila talks to Jade and asks her about her nightmares, saying her nightmares feel real. She describes an experience that Jade also had, except Mila says she sees Church when her goggles slip off. It’s not a dream, and Church is a pedophile!

In a flashback, we see that Damien was the first person to suggest that Church was the person hurting them the entire time. He was, how you say… right.

Jade witnesses shit and gets tased, so. We can kind of imagine what happens and I won’t detail it for you. She runs when she wakes up, the BAU is surrounding the building.

Jade wakes Mila and tells her to get all of the kids out.

There’s a reference to Benjamin Cyrus. For shits and giggles.

Jade rigs the building to blow up, she’s fully figured out what’s going on. She tells Mila via radio that she needs to keep running and needs to save the children.

Episode 10: Save the Children

Written by Breen Frazier Directed by Glenn Kershaw

Huge explosion and there’s no contact with the team.

Everyone is fine considering they were in an explosion.

Except Emily was kidnapped. There’s that.

Jade declares herself judge, jury, and executioner and kills Church after charging him with the crime of pedophilia. It’s safe to assume that Emily is next.

They’re missing one Gold Star, so Peter has to be the person Jade is teaming up with now.

Unfortunately, I’m eating dinner while watching this episode but most of it is just flashbacks that don’t change the story much except for the emotional depth.

Jade has Emily, charging her with conspiracy to commit murder. She knows her whole back story, Benjamin Cyrus, Ian Doyle, Peter Lewis, she knows it all, but Emily says she’s allowed due process or else Jade is just as bad as all of the people she’s up against.

The team figures out that Emily is just as important as Frank, but while Frank was important to Jade, Emily is important to Peter B.

Voit gets moved to Collymore FCI. He’s in a nice cushy room where he’s allowed to have décor. Literally club fed. It’s nicer than my freshman dorm.

Peter B. Is Peter Bailey! Douglas Bailey’s younger brother. Which is why he knew about Gold Star, and Pete holds Emily responsible for Voit killing Doug.

Flashback to Doug and Emily talking to each other, he mentions his brother and this is where we get the strange lore drop that Emily has a sister. Presumably younger.

I recognize the actor who plays Pete. Who is that. Oh my god. This is gonna bug me. Someone remind me to look it up later.

Doug was looking into Gold Star because he knew his brother was in it, and the only person he confided in about Gold Star and his brother was the director of the FBI, Ray Madison. Now, Madison tells Rebecca and David that he couldn’t possibly tell anyone about it because it was classified information. Dave tells him that if something happens to Prentiss, there’s no classification in the world that will save him. Madison thinks he’s talking about his career, but he’s talking about his life. Uncommon David Rossi W.

Madison says he’ll go to the mat for them, realizing he got caught with his pants down.

Voit wants to be let into gen pop and makes a deal to get them information on Emily’s location. Voit comes into the BAU again.

“Back at it like a crack addict!”

Pete was the one behind using Brian Garrity against Emily AND the one who sent the message “Teresa is in trouble.”

There are so many names involved at this point ohhhhh my god.

Voit tries to get into JJ’s head using stuff about the BAU gate, and she doesn’t let him even though it bothers her. Voit made the videos on BAU gate by basically… editing JJ’s face on his wife’s body. She scares the fuck out of him. I love women.

Jade pulls the gun on Emily again, but says they’re delaying her sentence so they can wait for her team and kill all of them in one go. The team figures out it’s a trap and looks for another way in. They show Pete the video where Voit admitted to killing Doug by having Penelope hack into his screen.

Pete tells Jade to stand down, and she says no. He doesn’t mind dying, but he won’t die over a lie. Pete lets Emily go, and when the FBI comes in, Jade holds a gun to her head and wonders if everything is a lie. Emily empathizes with her over shared experience.

Emily tells her they need her to tell them about Damien and Stuart House and that she saved Mila’s life. Pete and Jade are arrested and alive.

Mila and reunite L babies. Pete reunites with his parents. That was what Emily wanted instead of sending them to prison.

Tyler applied to work at the FBI. Eugh.

Rebecca has cunty bangs now.  She and Tara are back together.

The team is partying and they’re like “Whyyyy does Voit want to be in gen pop??”

Well. I’ll tell you. It’s because he wanted his shit wrecked. He gets attacked in prison because some people figure out who he is, but it’s not really explained how, and the season ends with him getting stabbed.

[columboscreens]

when in the series in your opinion does columbo officially become Peepaw?

i love that "peepaw" has become the word people on this site use to describe Aged Columbo. that said, i think there are a few Peepaw Turning Points

there's a point in season 7 or so where peter falk really starts playing columbo differently on a consistent basis and leans more into being a whimsical, Proverbial-Moustache-Twirling Older Man than the younger, more straightforward, less "affected" character you see in the show's primary run:

i know it looks like the only real difference here is that he's just raising his eyebrows but trust me on this. these two are worlds apart

then, more obviously, we have the reignition of the series in 1989 where he's twelve whole years older, wearing reading glasses, and presumably in his early 60s (peter falk was 62). they still dyed his hair here though, and he's not played entirely like a senior citizen, so i'd put him not quite in gramps territory, but at the tail end of his DILF years

are you really flirting with GILFery until you're wearing reading glasses askew

the real peepaw point of no return is right after the faye dunaway episode, it's all in the game.

it's the last episode that gives us a columbo with youthful virility. the script was actually written by peter falk in the 70s, so i feel that natural, effortless energy he exuded back then comes through. in a way this episode comes as something of a swan song to his youth, because the very next episode is butterfly in shades of grey.

in accordance with the title, the makeup department is less heavy-handed with the hair dye, which (thank god) they maintain until the end of the series. as the series continues, he continues to show increasing age in both appearance and mannerisms.

can't handle the clams like he used to

but it's in his crowning final episode in 2003, at age 76, where he goes full peepaw. starkly contrasted with gen Xers and millennials, standing next to y2k alt culture at its finest, he finally shows his age in full force.

i love this shot because the strobe flash makes it look like an actual bad digital camera shot from 2003 and it rules

[dfyltdy]

peepaw's suffer

Considering how the Talamasca watches over vampires, can poor Daniel take a piss without the risk that everyone in the surveillance department hears him groaning on the toilet?

[ssa-dado]

OH.MY.GOD ??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the fleabag!reader ???????? that was so so so so so good!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i’m begging you to make this a series it was absolutely amazing!!!

AAAAAa thank uuu lovely anon!!!!! Seriously, it means the world that you enjoyed it! Fleabag!reader is… unfortunately(?) a little (too) autobiographical, haha 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

I didn’t plan for this to become a series, but a few people have been asking for more, so I guess… it’s a thing now? I’d love to make it a loose collection of episodes you can request stuff for, like little standalone issues that still feel connected so you don't have to read through everything....

(Honestly, I’m also hoping to use this as a smut-writing exercise because I’m still kind of blocked in that department.)

(I say this knowing full well it’ll lead to nothing but smut requests, you nasty little freaks. I get it, peepaw does need cardio training for that triathlon, and if it’s raining, he can’t exactly run outside, now can he?)

The vibe I probably want to go for is a sort of mutual pining/""""enemies"""" to lovers kind of thing: them clashing over their different lifestyles, calling each other out constantly, lots of stupid, flirty bickering. Homegirl pretends to be all sharp and cool but totally blanks the second he talks. And Hotch is just out here being very autistic and not realizing he’s being flirted with half the time (or realising and playing into it???)

Just putting all this out there as I brainstorm... but yeah it’s spiraling into something, and I’m not mad about it

fleabag!reader is now officially a series!!! How I love democracy

[myrkulsapxstle]

"So many years away..."

"Ah. We have met, and I now know thy face. Should thou have need of my services, I shall be here. Waiting. Until the proper time."

"But before thou dost depart, I have a question for thee--"

"What is the worth of a single mortal life?"

( Withers is here on BOTH blogs for the entirety of Halloween! )

( LIKE this if you want peepaw Jergal in your inbox, and feel free to send him asks :D )

[lawrenceofbessarabia]

one of the many vague promises of the coming trump administration is to "protect our children."

protect them from what, exactly?

from learning that being queer doesn't make them freaks but simply a normal part of the human race?

from learning that meemaw and peepaw might be abusive jerks who screwed up their parents, and that neither their families nor the church or any other authority have the answers to everything in life?

from realizing that this country, from its inception, has destroyed an unfathomable number of lives to serve the interests of the wealthy and powerful (and lately, the ignorant and complacent) and will continue to do so unchecked?

from understanding how they can still make a difference in spite of all that?

i say we protect our children, not by shrouding them in ignorance, but by educating them.

be patient with kids, especially if they're apathetic, or overwhelmed, or even hostile. make sure unbiased resources about the history of marginalized people in america, even the most basic, the most defensible, are accessible. volunteer at your library. volunteer at your local college, if there's one nearby. if you're short on cash, apply to be a substitute teacher or a tutor - many community colleges or even state universities have open positions in their tutoring departments.

answer their questions. listen to their concerns. show them it doesn't have to be this way.

[stupidbeecandle]

today was a bad day for people to reblog that shit post about how mean and crazy and too-far the trannies are going for asking folks to stop liking, supporting, talking about, making art of, or even holding onto old HP books and merch.

wahhhhh~ quit getting mad at me! I'm sensitive and it hurts my feelings when you call me a transphobic nazi just because i CHERISH and DERIVE JOY from my SYMBOLS OF HATE

the utter lack of tact people have.

but this HATE SYMBOL is the only pleasant memory i have left of my dearly departed peepaw when we read it together growing up~.

cool! now burn it.

Or if you must keep it never mention it or put it in public because it is very much a signal that you're fine with the horrific treatment of transfolk

[nani-nonny]

How would the peepaw react to know that Apaf leo had "laid" eggs?

lolll they’d probably juggle the eggs /j

I’m going to be honest, I never really gave it much thought when I wrote my other peepaws haha although it would’ve been nice to do so hm they were all open for headcanons in that department I don’t really mind I just like writing them into situations :D

But I suppose…

Reunion would probably ask if can have one scrambled for breakfast (he’s teasing but also a bit concerned with how they dealt with it during the apocalypse)

DMD would be surprised, and a little confused on whether or not he lays eggs too (but I’ll leave that up to you if you think he has the facilities for that I don’t really mind if he does or doesn’t haha I didn’t write his story thinking of that lol)

LCD would raise a brow and shrug (he doesn’t care)

WDS would wince at the thought of being eggbound or passing eggs overall

DisMir would probably try to keep apaf’s mouth shut in case it alerts his own systems into kicking in whether he actually has the facilities or not lol, no thoughts just stressing about the apocalypse and that’s it

But imagine apaf bringing this up in conversation to them! Apaf super excited to introduce his baby to his fellow peepaws and then explaining her origin of F!Draxum taking his eggs and experimenting on them until she succeeded

They’d be so furious and gobsmacked and confused on what to do with themselves hahaha!