#despite all my jokes to the contrary i'm actually really really bad at this whole shut-in life thing | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

katie-the-bug · 2 months

Text

Guess who's back, back again

It's me. With my thoughts on The Indwelling.

The cast:

The Tribulation Force: Rayford Steele, failed assassin; Buck Williams, cyberjournalist; Chloe Williams, daughter, wife and mother; Kenny Williams, infant; Tsion Ben-Judah, internet evangelist; Leah Rose, nurse and spy; Mac McCullum, the Antichrist's pilot; David Hassid, IT guy of the Beast; Annie Christopher, David's girlfriend and coworker; T. Delanty, pilot and airport owner; Chaim Rosenzweig, the Antichrist's assassin; Hattie Durham (not technically a Force member), Nicolae's ex, on the run.

The Global Community: Nicolae Carpathia, Antichrist, currently dead; Leon Fortunato, Nicolae's boyfriend best friend and successor, in mourning; Guy Blod, implicitly gay artist.

We open with a scene from Leah's perspective. A female viewpoint character? They're really branching out!

We learn that Hattie was never in the Middle East for Nicolae's gala and has been in North America this whole time, despite clear evidence to the contrary in the last book. This would be okay if it were more than coincidence or did something for the plot, but as it is it's a cop-out by authors who don't want Hattie doing anything interesting.

Leon refuses to be referred to as "Your Excellency" as Nicolae was while Nicolae's death is still so recent. I'm starting to like Leon - he's a villain, but he's genuine, he cares for his fellow villains, and isn't eager to throw himself into power like your typical bad guy would be after his boss dies.

Annie jokes about running over Nicolae's makeshift coffin with a forklift, and while that particular idea is stupid, I wonder why the characters aren't trying to stymie Nicolae's eventual resurrection. If he stays dead, they have a lot less to worry about in the coming years. Prophecy says he'll come back, of course, but who says they have to listen?

David, thinking about the GC's "Arts and Sciences" department, recalls visiting once and being "so repulsed by what was considered artistic" that he left immediately. We get no description of what he saw, and the funniest thing to do is assume he just saw some abstract art and, like my Catholic school teachers, decided that it was evil.

We meet Viv Ivins, a middle-aged woman with blue hair and pronouns, who is allegedly Nicolae's only living relative. The connection is never elaborated on, and while I'm sure she's supposed to be important, she does nothing for the whole book.

In Chapter 3, Chloe announces her intention to kill Kenny before the GC could get him, seemingly based on a few news reports of children being trained to like Nicolae. While wrestling with this idea gives her something to do in the story - something she has been sorely lacking despite the narration's insistence that she's doing important work setting up an underground economy for believers - we never get a stronger motivation from her.

Rayford's fingerprints on the gun he definitely fired at Nicolae's gala have made him the prime suspect in the assassination. He's an active security risk to the Tribulation Force, but nobody calls him stupid or a liability like they do Hattie every time she exercises her right as an adult to leave them.

In Chapter 5, Tsion debates whether he's had a dream or a vision, based on whether he's an old man or a young one. The Scripture says "Your old men shall dream dreams, your young men shall see visions," and apparently that means that only old men will have dreams and only young men will have visions. There's biblical literalism and then there's this.

In Chapter 6 Tsion wonders, based on Nicolae's failure to resurrect immediately, "Was it possible he'd been wrong all along?" While it wouldn't make for a good story, I still think it would be hilarious if they'd had the wrong guy this whole time.

David's narration complains that there are no "god-honoring works of art" in New Babylon. A city with no religious art sounds awesome, actually.

Nicolae's last words were "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." This is completely out of character for both Nicolae in general and the concept of the Antichrist - shouldn't he say something inverted, ask Lucifer to condemn those who killed him?

The coroner says of Nicolae, "Truly this was the son of god," as though that's a normal thing to say about a dead politician to a bunch of people who don't believe in God.

Buck and Chaim are on the run from the GC, but still find time to debate religion. Buck warns Chaim that if he doesn't convert soon, God may "harden your heart," making conversion impossible. But sure, God is loving and wants people to come to him.

In Chapter 12, Tsion astral-projects into space and talks with Archangel Michael, which would have been cool if it had been established beforehand that such a thing was possible.

Buck's remaining family is killed by the GC because reasons, but they became True Christians before they died, so...yay?

Someone mentions "the difference between religion and Christianity" and I smell a familiar variety of bullshit. Some Christians, evidently trying to create a sort of "gotcha" for people who say they don't trust religion, try to argue that Christianity isn't a religion based on a definition of religion used by nobody but them. It boils down to "Christianity isn't a religion because it's real" and I don't need to explain how stupid it is to try and argue that.

Leon commissions a nude statue of Nicolae containing a furnace that burns Bibles. Do with that what you will.

Nicolae's funeral involves "street entertainers, jugglers, clowns, strippers, and vendors" and I have to wonder who thought that was appropriate for the memorial of a beloved head of state who was never particularly eccentric.

In Chapter 16, the Tribulation Force's "safehouse" is compromised, which would be a source of tension if they hadn't just gotten back from exploring a high-tech skyscraper hidden in an area thought to be irradiated that David had found for them some chapters ago. I would've though an arc about the Force going on the run with no safe haven would have been interesting, but oh well.

Leon, in mourning, institutes mandatory worldwide worship of a deified Nicolae. Imagine your OTP.

Nicolae, after some fanfare, comes back to life and starts quoting Jesus for some reason. I guess they're trying to show Nicolae as a deceiver who imitates Christ, but all this is doing is giving me ideas for a crack theory that Nicolae is actually a badly botched Second Coming.

Well, that was certainly a book.

#katie reads left behind #left behind #long post #stay tuned

4 notes · View notes

icharchivist · 10 months

Note

I can see how the tragedy of the ending can reframe everything that came before it and make it sweeter and also much harsher in hindsight

Like, you know, it's nice that Noctis got to have a good(-ish?) time with his bros, but it also feels so sad and pointless, especially on a replay. It makes the whole thing a lot more grim

I've played games like that before and yeah, even if the gameplay is fire, the knowledge that it's going to end the way it does is always hanging there, ominously, like a huge fucking sword

And it can really dampen the experience or enhance it. That also depends on how I'm feeling that day

Then again, I've also felt an intense and profound sadness when I was about to beatTears of the Kingdom (most recent example from the top of my head) and while I wanted to know how it ended, I didn't want it to be over and I was sad that I couldn't experience the game again for the first time

Games are great, they can make you feel so many different feelings

But also, games suck because they can make you feel so many different feelings

YEAAAH i feel that.

I do think the gamme makes it clear it's not pointless at least - that the point is to enjoy the good time, on the contrary. It's done very beautifully that you don't actually think "why am i bothering?" when playing itself.

but i do know that the ending was spoiled very early on and a lot of people were turned off from playing this game fully because "the MC dies at the end so what's the point?" so i know some people genuinely feel this way - unaware that ff15 does everything to make you feel like the point is the journey, not the destination

but yeah, it really makes the game. very difficult to replay.

(hanging like a huge sword like the multiple swords Noctis empale himself on 👍)

FF15 also has like, a lot of forshadowing or light banters that will remind you of this ending no matter how hard you ignore it. Like, Noctis loves to sleep a lot so his friends joke about how he'll find the rest of the grave satisfying. Ignis is the de-facto driver of the car and they comment on how they can only rely on his good eyes and they don't know how they'd do without him and his insight. There's so many things like that that, no matter how hard i try to ignore the ending, makes me pause and cry.

And on one hand i love replaying the game to see those characters again, and give them all the happiness they deserve to have despite this ending on the horizon.

but on the other hand i hate replaying the game to see those folks, full of hope for the future, walk into their own suicide.

It's worth everything. It isn't worth all of this. It's very difficult.

Like you said. It's good and it's bad. it makes you feel so much.

as for the feeling of "not wanting to beat a game because it'll never be like the first time you played" GOD i feel you. there's so many games i've never finished, stopped right before the end, because i couldn't actually get myself to work through this feeling. It's really complicated and knowing the ending can make things so bittersweet like that.

(but at least it's nice when a game's ending, even if sad, is satisfying. There's a game i played recently where i *really* enjoyed the 80 hours i spurged on it, i had some minor issues here and there but i thought they'd work out if the narrative explored it. And then the last hour of the game were extremely rushed and dropped every single plotline without giving them closure for the most cheap ending i've ever seen and i was *so* angry at the game that things i loved about it, i ended up hating on second thought because what i thought were clever set up were just fully abandonned ideas that were never meant to be emotionally charged that way. I've never felt this feeling of the last hour of an otherwise good game fully ruining the game for me. I still haven't recovered from this and i'm still so bitter. i feel like i'll replay this game one day but this is one experience i've never had before and will probably be difficult to go back to. At least a sad ending just makes you melancholic. A bad ending just ruins everything. I don't wish it to anyone.)

so yeah I sure feel you :sob:

i do think ff15 is worthwhile because the tragedy is really well handled and make you feel like the sadness makes the happy moments all the more precious.

but i know how hard it is still to play.

so yeah. felt you :sob:

#ichareply #ichafantalks ffxv #anonymous

0 notes

johnsamericano · 3 years

Text

𝔖𝔲𝔤𝔞𝔯 ℜ𝔲𝔰𝔥 𝔧.𝔧.𝔥 •2•

Hi hi! I'm back with another chapter. This one might not be as good(?, it's a really fluffy chapter so bear with me.

warnings: sugar daddy jae, he's a big baby, tooth rotting, kinda long.

sugar rush m.list.

taglist: @thoreeo @trustmahluv @sunny-nyu @nanascupid @silent-potato

“Sir, there’s a girl asking to see you.”

“Hey, I’m not a girl!” He chuckled as his finger pressed the button to communicate with his secretary.

“Let her in.”

Only a few seconds later, your head was peeking through his door.

“I brought you coffee.” You extended your hand out, showing him the carton containing two iced drinks. “Are you busy?”

“Not at all, come in.” You sat on the elegant, individual sofa in front of him, his desk serving as a separation. “Are you here to spy on me? Don't you trust me with your father's case?” He pouted, typing something in his keyboard while your palms started sweating.

How could you not trust the man with the highest case winning index in the whole country?

Briefly, after your encounter with the other lawyer, you'd googled him as well as his company. Because of his incredibly high fees, he didn't have many clients, but those few who had enough money to cost him were almost assured to be on the winning side. So then, why hadn't an excellent lawyer like him popped up when you'd first looked for popular firms? Simple, he wasn't popular.

Just like a hidden gem, only a few had the pleasure to know Yoonoh, and you felt beyond grateful for paying that stupid membership weeks ago.

“No, no!” You were quick to defend yourself, frantically shaking your hands to support your previous statement. “Just wanted to be of help.”

Truth to be told, after receiving your first weekly allowance, an unsettling feeling had been squeezing your heart ever since. Call it guilt or whatever, but it didn't set right to be receiving si much help from him when you hadn't had the chance to do anything in return. The least you could do was trying to be polite.

“You shouldn't be spending your money on me. I'm the one supposed to spoil you, remember?” He grabbed the plastic container by the lid, sipping the bitter liquid with an amused smile. “But thank you.”

“I paid my rent yesterday.” You blurted out, trying to avoid the uncomfortable silence threatening to settle between the two of you. “And I still have money left to save for my father's hospital bills, maybe even buy a present for my aunt.”

He admired how noble you were, making sure those around you had enough before even thinking to do something for yourself.

“I have a party this Friday, would you like to attend with me?” Your presence wasn't required as it wasn't a big event, but by the look in your eyes, he knew you were itching to do something in return for his kindness.

“Yes, of course!” Your orbs sparkled with excitement, finally feeling yourself useful.

“If you don't mind waiting, we can go buy something for you to wear right after I finish with this.” For what seemed like the tenth time in less than ten minutes, small beads of sweat rolled down the back of your neck. Thank God he wasn't able to see them. “Oh, come on, don't give me that look!”

“You’ve already done so much for me. I can buy the clothes myself, don't worry.” With a deep sigh, Yoonoh rose from his chair, taking long strides to surround the desk separating you. “W-what are you doing?” Now kneeling on the floor beneath you, his face was dangerously close to yours, coffee breath crashing against your nose.

“Using mind control to convince you to let me take you out.” He stared at you for a couple more seconds before saying: “Is it working?”

“I think your mind control is broken.” You whisper, unable to hold back the small giggles bubbling at the back of your throat.

“How about now?” He batted his eyelashes, trying to act cute despite his bold features. You shook your head.

Just as you thought it was over, his hand went up to cup your jaw, his thumb drawing uneven figures on the ticklish skin.

“How about now?” He repeated. You stammered, unsure of what to say. “Sorry, that was inappropriate.” Aware of your awkwardness and the rising heat in your cheeks, he stood up, walking back to his chair. “But I do want to get you something, would you let me?”

With your mind busy and your guard low, you nodded, unaware of the silly smile on his face.

“I have a few novels on my shelf in case you want something to kill time.”

“Thank you.” You moved to the huge bookshelf facing his desk, grateful your face wasn't visible anymore.

The books were ordered by genre and size, starting from the biggest law-related textbooks to pocket-sized novels, ending with the smallest one he had. The little prince.

Your eyes widened in disbelief. Yoonoh didn't seem to be the type to read that kind of heartbreaking yet beautiful book. Nonetheless, as many said, you can't judge a book by its cover.

An hour or two later, you were halfway into the first book of flowers in the attic, immersed in the small world the author had created. Yoonoh had finished his work a few minutes before, but distracting you when you were reading so vividly, seemed like a crime. He enjoyed the way your eyebrows would knit together every time something shocking happened, clearly too immersed in the novel to notice his intense gaze.

“Y/n...” He whispered once he noticed you were starting a new chapter. You blinked twice, hands clutching the book tightly as you noticed he had finished his work. “You can take it home, don't worry.”

“Sure?” He flashed his pretty dimples as his eyes turned into half-moons.

“You can come back for the rest of the saga when you finish this one. Take as many books as you please, I’ve already read them all.”

“Thank you.” Another act of kindness you had no way of returning. His favors just seemed to be piling up before you could even return any. “Would you like to have dinner with me today? I'm a great cook, or so did my father said.” You blurted out quickly, twisting your hands nervously as you waited for an answer.

“I’d love to. But I might have to attend some work calls if you don't mind.”

“I don't, maybe I'll even have time to bake a cake while you're at it.” God, how bad he wanted to take a picture of that adorably nervous smile.

“Great, so it's settled. Dinner at your place after we go shopping.” He had already put his blazer on, offering his arm to guide you out. With shaky fingers and sweaty armpits, you grabbed it, walking by his side with his secretary’s gazed glued on you. So much for a girl, huh?

Once seated in his car, with the book resting on your lap, you allowed yourself to relax. Yoonoh wasn't a bad person, on the contrary, he was very kind, so there was no use in keeping your guard up when he was around.

“Ready to roll?” You cringed at his use of slang, making him drop his head back to laugh. “What? Isn't it a thing you cool young adults say?”

“Maybe twenty years ago, Yoonoh.” It was the very first time you used his name so informally, and, oh how good it felt to hear you saying it?

“Fine, I won't use it anymore.” He poked your arm like a little child, and for a moment, you wondered if he was actually more than a decade older.

Several bad jokes, two dresses, and a quick stop at the grocery store later, you arrived at your apartment. Yoonoh held everything while you entered the passcode, struggling not to drop a can of vegetables that was starting to bend the edge of the paper bag.

“Ready, hand me something.” You both entered with your hands packed with different things. You went to your room to leave the new dresses while Yoonoh set the paper bags down on the kitchen counter.

“So...” He clapped loudly. “What are we cooking?”

“I bought the ingredients for lasagna. Is that okay with you?” He nodded, lips pressed and dimples in display. “Alright, let's do this.”

It would've been of great help if Yoonoh had told you he didn't know how to cook. But of course, part of the fault was yours for not noticing when he tried to add ketchup to the recipe.

“I burnt it.” He looked at the semi-carbonized pasta with disgust, feeling ashamed of having ruined your dish. “Let’s just throw it away and order something.” He was about to touch the hot container until your grip on his wrist halted his movements.

“We just pulled it out of the oven.” You shook your head in disbelief at the man standing in front of you.

“Sorry.”

Despite Yoonoh’s endless complaining, you ate the lasagna. The flavor wasn't that bad when you scratched off the burnt parts, especially when accompanied by a cold glass of wine.

“It’s not that bad.” You repeated over and over again. A phone call interrupted him from self-pitying any further. “Go on, take it.” You continued eating while he spoke in the living room.

It wasn't until a couple of minutes later that you realized he was whisper yelling at whoever was on the other line. It was your first time seeing him angry, and you didn't like it one bit. The way his face turned completely stoic, his eyes cold as his hand rested on his hip. Sweet, caring, Yoonoh was gone.

“I told you I needed it for today.” He said through gritted teeth. “You better get it before I arrive back at the office, or you can find yourself another job.” Even after he hung up, Yoonoh stood in the middle of the shared area, clutching his phone so tightly, it seemed like it would break any minute.

You wanted to ask if everything was alright, if he needed any help, but most importantly, if the things he needed were related to your father's case, but all the words stuck to your throat like insects in a spider web.

“I need to go.” He simply said, not even bothering to fake a smile. “Thank you for dinner, I'll see you on Friday.” With his free hand, he grabbed the coat hanging from his chair and left, slamming the door on his way out.

Was that the real Yoonoh?

A shiver ran down your spine. What had you gotten into? From what you'd seen, it was only about time he would show his true self to you as well.

All the trust you'd built up during the day, had crumbled down in a matter of seconds. The worst part? You didn't even feel entitled to be scared, not after all he'd done for you.

‘Just keep your distance.’ You repeated like a mantra as you got ready for bed, leaving the book you'd borrowed right where he'd left it, afraid it would burn your fingertips even with the slightest touch.

(...)

The week wasn't nearly as long as you'd wanted it to be, and soon enough, you were struggling to zip the dress you'd bought days ago. Your makeup was done, and Yoonoh had texted you he was on his way, yet, you'd been fighting with the zipper for at least ten minutes. Your fingers were cramping, and the clock was ticking.

Just when you'd finally started to drag the small piece of metal, the doorbell startled you, causing you to let go of it.

“Fuck!” Have you ever felt so desperate that tears start pricking your eyes? Well, that was the exact case happening at the moment.

You opened the door with the salty water collecting at the corner of your eyes, surprising Yoonoh, who was wearing his best dimply smile.

“What’s wrong?” He had a bouquet poorly hidden behind his back, probably to apologize for the night he abruptly left and almost knocked down your door.

“I-I can't zip up my dress.” Your voice came out shaky, giving away the emotions burning your gut. Thankfully, Yoonoh didn't seem to notice, and if he did, he didn't mention it.

“I’ll help you.” He, not-so-discretely, put down the bouquet, gently turning you around to your discomfort. His cold hands touched your back as he dragged the zip up, noticing how tense you were but deciding not to comment on it. “Oh! You haven't moved the book from where I left it.”

“I haven't had time to read.” He hummed, crouching to reach for the bouquet and hand it to you. “Thank you.”

“It’s my way of apologizing for the fit I threw a couple of days ago.” A fit? That was one way to call it.

“It’s okay.” You lied as you pushed the corners of your lips to form a credible smile. “Let’s get going.”

The flowers were left on the kitchen counter before you left. The ride in the elevator was awfully quiet, and Yoonoh had no idea what had happened. You were so chatty the last time he saw you, so of course, he was taken aback by the sudden change.

“It’s not going to take long, so we can head out for some drinks later if you'd like...” You nodded, for you knew speaking would only expose your discomfort. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah! Just nervous about the party, that's all.”

You stood by Yoonoh’s side for the rest of the evening, smiling and nodding at his acquaintances’ comments. At one point in the evening, a man, not much older than you, approached you both with a wide smile.

“Dude, I hadn't seen you in ages. Stop sending your workers and come see me yourself.” They hugged. Why were they hugging?

“Y/n, this is my brother, Sungchan.” The man with puppy-like eyes embraced you tightly, almost as if welcoming you to his family. “Sungchan, this is y/n, my girlfriend.” He said it so naturally, it’d take a detective to figure out the truth about your relationship.

“I’ve heard a lot about you. I'm sorry for your father. But don't worry, we'll take those bastards down.”

“I’m not following...” You blinked repeatedly, eyes going back and forth between Yoonoh and his brother.

“Sungchan is a doctor. I asked him to look at your father's case for further evidence. My assistant was supposed to pick up the report the day we had dinner, but she forgot to drop by. Now we’re a day behind schedule.” The dark cloud surrounding him seemed to be slowly dissipating as you heard his explanation. “This is an important case, and I want to be as meticulous as possible.”

Thank you didn't seem the right thing to say at the moment, at least not with Sungchan standing there, so you simply grabbed his hand, squeezing it to let him know how grateful you were.

To your surprise, he didn't even flinch as he locked your hands together, causing a small giggle from Sungchan.

“Okay, love birds, I'll get going.” He waved you goodbye, making his way to another table where his friend waited for him.

“Can we talk?” You whispered in his ear, afraid one of the numerous attendants would hear you.

“Sure.” Without letting go of your hand, he drove you to a small, private garden just outside the ballroom. “Are you gonna tell me what's wrong now?” His thumb caressed your knuckles with gentle strokes.

“I’m so sorry.”

“What for?”

“I pushed you away at the minimum trouble when you were only helping me.” He hummed as if he already knew about it. “And it will probably happen again, so please, be patient with me. I'm going through-” Your face collided against his chest as his arms draped over your shoulders, squeezing you tightly.

“Call me reckless, but I've wanted to do this for a while.” Your hands hung at the sides of your torso, unsure what to do next. “You can push me away, I'll understand...”

Instead, your palm found its place in his back, rubbing up and down the designer jacket. Your hair started turning messy from the night breeze, some strands striking Yoonoh’s chin as his embrace only grew tighter.

“Let’s get out of here.” He mumbled, crawling the back of your head with his hand. “Sungchan can deal with my father's friends.”

“Are you sure?” His hum vibrated through his chest, making you giggle at the odd feeling.

Once seated in his car, his hand found yours like a magnet, the warmth emanating from it comfortably enveloping your skin.

The calmness of the atmosphere was interrupted by a call from his brother, who seemed to be anxiously explaining something through the phone.

“Just tell him I had a work emergency.” With that said, he hung up, placing his hand back again on top of yours. “Sorry, he said it was urgent.”

“It’s okay.” An unsettling feeling pinched your stomach, but you decided to dismiss it, immersed in the chilly weather of the dark streets.

You arrived at the river, where Yoonoh asked you to wait for him while he bought a couple of beers. It was a sight to see, both of you clad in fancy clothes, barefoot and chugging down can after can.

“I think I like being with you.” You declared, mind fuzzy from the alcohol intake.

“I think I like it too.” The tips of his ears were rosy, revealing he was as intoxicated as you, maybe even more.

“Would you like to visit my father with me tomorrow?” The words flew out of your mouth before you could even realize. Afraid you'd killed the mood, you tried to excuse yourself, only to be interrupted by his lips grazing your ear, placing a timid kiss on your lobe.

“I’d love to.” It was the sweetest peck, no ulterior motives behind it, just pure affection.

“Are we going too fast?” In your drunken state, what you had felt like a real relationship, not a simple agreement. And this sure felt like a first date.

“We’re moving at our own pace, I believe.” He dropped his head on your shoulder, pressing against it to relieve the dizziness clouding his mind. “Are you okay with that? Maybe you don't want to be with an old creep like me, and I'd totally get it. Just don't let me get my hopes up if that's the case.”

“You might be old, but definitely not a creep.” Your fingers combed through his abundant hair as your mind wandered into the future, grateful for the fact that he wouldn't become bald soon. “Or are you?”

“I don't think so.” Anyone who walked by would've seen a couple of goofs, too intoxicated to talk without slurring the words, but you were living in your own, comfy bubble. “I should get you home before it gets too late. Come on, I'll call a driver.” He tried getting on his feet to no avail, stumbling back a little before falling back on his ass.

“My apartment is nearby. You can stay for the night.” You grabbed both pairs of shoes as his arm surrounded your shoulder for assistance. “If you keep supporting your whole weight on me, we're both gonna fall.” People on the street shot you a couple of funny looks, which was understandable since it wasn't usual to see two drunk idiots walking barefoot in the middle of the night.

“How long till-” Hiccup. “-we get there?” His stare seemed to worsen with every step. “God, I think I might throw up.”

“Stop acting like a teenager, we're almost there.”

As soon as you arrived at the small apartment, you sat him down on the little step where you changed your shoes. You left both pairs on the rack, proceeding to put on slippers to enter the house.

“Don’t leave me here!” He whined, stomping his feet like a little kid.

“Just wait for a second!” His attitude was starting to get on your nerves to the point where you couldn't feel the effects of the beer anymore.

You grabbed a rag from the kitchen cabinet and dampened it under the sink. Yoonoh was half asleep when you walked back to him.

“My head hurts.” He mumbled as you sat in front of him, placing his left foot on your lap. “What are you doing?”

“I don't have any slippers that will fit you, and I don't want your dirty feet making my house dirty.” With utmost delicacy, you wiped away the dirt from his toes, noticing the small scratches caused by the gravel he walked on.

He touched your hair while you finished with his other foot, tangling the strands with fascination.

“Done, get up.”

He followed your indications as you guided him to your room, where you laid him down on his side in case he threw up.

“Are we visiting your father tomorrow?” He asked while snuggling under the covers.

“Sure.” You cleared his forehead from the strands falling in it, grazing the soft skin of his forehead. “Sweet dreams, gigantic baby.”

#nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct smut #nct x reader #nct #nct scenarios #nct 127 #nct angst #nct fluff #nct jaehyun #nct jung yoonoh

217 notes · View notes

milkybonya · 3 years

Text

i'm not the same boy you knew back then

Warnings: food mentions and some angst, party mentions

Pairing: Yedam x (gn)reader

Summary: where Yedam broke your heart in high school because he didn't know how to act but now he's desperately in love with you and wishes you still felt the same :")

word count: 5.8k

inspired by Walls by All Time Low (it has explicit language! be careful~~i've put a link for it at the veryyy end of this fic)

[a/n]: I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY FOR THE FLASHBACK PART OF THIS OML I'M SORRY FOR THE CHAOS AND MESS BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOY

Hey there it's good to see you again, It never felt right calling this "just friends". I'm happy, if you're happy, with yourself.

"Isn't that Yedam?" your friend, sat beside you, asks. They point to somewhere behind your head, and naturally, you turn around to follow their finger with your eyes.

As the doors to the lecture hall swing shut, a familiar boy begins to walk quickly down the steps. While grinning, he decides on a spot near the back, far away from your almost front-row seat. You let out the breath you didn't realize you were holding and face the front.

"Since when did he go to our university?" your friend asks, also facing the front now.

"I have no clue," you admit.

You'd purposely accepted an offer at a faraway university to avoid having to see Yedam ever again after high school. High school had become one of the worst times of your life thanks to him.

Yedam's pov

As soon as I enter the hall, I find [y/n] with my eyes immediately. They look at me with a mix of shock, disgust and hatred, but seeing them fills me with so much joy that I can't help but smile.

Deciding not to bother them, I pick a spot near the back and sit down. I wonder to myself if switching to [y/n]'s school was the right choice...

[y/n]'s pov

It was obvious you were too much for me. Oblivious, I was young

Back in high school, you had the fattest crush on one of the school's most popular kids, and you hated yourself for it. It wasn't like you could control your feelings... but your heart was set on him. His smile made you feel so warm and you felt happy despite him not having the slightest clue who you were. You always watched him from afar, peering at him as he walked into the classroom while waving at all of his friends before taking a seat at the back.

By some chance, you got paired with him for an assignment. You thought he would be disappointed, since he had never spoken to you, but contrary to his somewhat intimidating aura as a result of him being a popular kid, he smiled warmly at you as you introduced yourself.

"I know you're [y/n]," he said quietly, looking down at the assignment instructions in front of him.

"How do you know?" you asked him.

He looked up and leaned in closer to you to whisper into your ear, only after being sure that no one was watching.

"It may not seem like it, but I do know my classmates."

When he moved back, he flashed you a grin before returning to the assignment instructions again. Your heartbeat was flooding your ears.

After meeting up several times to do the research and plan out the presentation together, you and Yedam somehow grew closer. You had always thought he was some sort of chic, cool guy, but he turned out to be super soft and sweet. The two of you laughed at each other's dumb jokes and procrastinated late into the night sometimes, only beginning your work when the café was about to close.

On one of those days, Yedam asked if you wanted to go to his place to finish the assignment.

"It's due in two weeks and we still have so much to do... plus we're so busy that we can only meet once a week," he explained, pouting slightly.

You agreed, feeling somewhat nervous and excited at the prospect of going to your crush's house for the first time.

His parents were home but asleep as it was late for them, so the two of you quietly went to his room.

In-between muffled giggles and late-night snacks, the two of you managed to get a lot of work done before you felt as though you'd hit your limit. After yawning and stretching, you told Yedam that it was time you went home.

"Do you live far from here?" he asked you.

You, in fact, did live quite far from his house, but you felt bad telling him this, so you lied and told him you lived close by.

He pouted and looked down.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to just sleep here... but I guess it makes sense for you to go home," he said, helping you pack up your things.

Yedam... wanted you to stay the night? How could you miss such an opportunity! Your crush! Wanted you to stay the night!!

Yedam noticed that you'd stopped moving, holding your pencil case in your hand as you thought about what to say.

"Is everything okay?" he asked you.

"Yeah... I actually... live kind of far," you mumbled, not wanting him to get mad at you for lying.

"You do? Then why did you say you live close by?" he asked, also taking his hands away from your backpack.

"I didn't want you to walk me home or anything," you explained. Yedam smiled at you, shaking his head.

"Don't worry about it now... do you have any clothes to change into?"

"Just my gym clothes... but they're dirty," you told him, shyly.

"Do you want to take something of mine to wear?" he asked you, already standing up to look through his closet without waiting for your answer.

You were going to say no, again, not wanting to bother him, but he had already pulled out some of his comfier clothes for you to wear.

After changing into them and walking back into his room, you avoided Yedam's eyes as he quietly lost his mind over how cute you looked.

"Um, so..." Yedam started, scratching the back of his neck.

"Would you be okay with sleeping in my bed? I'll go sleep in the livingroom-"

"No, no! I'll go sleep there-"

"No, I can't let a guest sleep on the couch!"

Both of you sighed, not being able to win against one another.

"Listen, it's either you sleep in my room and I go to the livingroom, or we both sleep in my bed," he said, pointing to his bed behind you.

You froze, trying to consider your options as your heartbeat grew louder.

"Well... I guess we're both sleeping here then," you said, in a tone that tried to sound confident but was a little shaky.

You plopped yourself face first into the bed to hide from your embarrassment, feeling the bed shift a few seconds later as Yedam joined you.

"Scooch over towards the wall. I'll sleep on this side so you won't fall off the bed at night," he said, pointing to the side of his bed that faced the rest of his room. You smiled at Yedam's kind gesture as you moved over.

He had turned off the light and it was dark now, and both of you lay side-by-side on your backs, staring up at the ceiling.

"Are you... asleep?" he asked you quietly a while later. You shook your head at first, but then realized he couldn't see you. So you said a quiet "no".

You felt Yedam shift as he turned to face you. You carefully turned your head towards him too, wondering what he was up to. It was hard to see in the dark, but he was just admiring your face. You looked away, feeling embarrassed, until you felt him shuffling closer to you.

It was a little nerve-wracking watching his figure tower over you in the dark. Blinking up at him, you parted your lips to ask him what he was doing, but he spoke first.

"Am I allowed to... kiss you?" he asked, quietly looking down at you.

Yedam... wants to ???? Your crush wanted-

You found yourself nodding before your thoughts could entirely be processed, and watched as Yedam lowered himself onto you with a small smile. His heart soared as he watched your reaction -- your eyes were squeezed shut so tightly out of nervousness.

Before his soft lips met yours, he found your hand under the blankets and held it in an attempt to ease you of your nervousness. He didn't know that it only made your stomach feel the effects even more intensely.

Your lips touched for only a moment, but it felt like a whole eternity. When he pulled away, he moved off of you quickly and shuffled over to his side of the bed again.

"I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry," he mumbled, looking away from you. You were confused.

"What's wrong?" you asked him.

"I... I was supposed to tell you I like you first but then now you're right beside me--wait not that I like you... wait I mean I do, but I didn't want to tell you like this--"

Hearing his unsure confession was all the confidence you needed to pull him closer, accidentally tightening his hoodie strings as you pulled him in to carefully press your lips against his again. He completely melted into your hands, then, wrapping an arm around your back and holding you close.

That was probably one of the last good memories you have of him.

After that, Yedam turned into a different person the next morning, avoiding your eyes and missing any trace of a smile on his face as he pushed a plate of breakfast towards you.

"Let's not walk to school together, okay? I'll be leaving first," he told you, leaving you alone in his own house.

You had no clue what was going on and no appetite to eat. After waiting a few minutes, you walked to school after him. You had no idea how to even get to school from his house, so after getting lost and arriving late, you finally managed to make it.

When you tried to approach him in class, he would turn his back on you and ignore you. It made you feel so small that you stopped even trying.

It was really hard for you to show up to school after that, because of how terrible you felt, but you still tried your best. Your friends knew something was wrong and they did their best to help you, but it didn't stop you from thinking about Yedam and why he was acting so strangely.

Until he texted you one day in the middle of class, asking you to meet him in an empty classroom.

You told yourself you shouldn't pay him any attention, especially after he ghosted you like that, but you still followed after him, curious to see what excuse he would give you.

In the classroom, you couldn't see anyone, so you thought Yedam hadn't arrived yet until you heard him call out your name from behind a file cabinet. By the windows.

"Come here, [y/n]," he said, motioning for you to approach him. He was smiling at you again, just like he did on those days when you'd study with him in the café. You told yourself to just turn around and leave, but your feet guided you to him.

You frowned up at him.

"What the heck have you been doing?" you asked him, tears already threatening to leave your eyes.

"[y/n], I-I'm sorry... you know how it is for me, with my popular reputation. Some kids saw us at the café and posted pictures of us, saying that I was going around dating a loser-"

He was holding onto your hands while wearing a pitiful expression, but you coldly pushed him away after hearing him out.

"So you've been acting weird because I'm tainting your reputation? Yedam, we never even dated! You gave me some... half-assed confession and... kissed me in the middle of the night and then ghosted me," you told him, sternly.

"I know, I'm sorry... It's so pathetic but I really do like you... I'm just really bad at this, I know, but I'm telling you now I like you-"

"In an empty classroom. Behind a file cabinet."

"Please, [y/n]. Date me for real... I promise I won't let you down."

You and your kind, innocent heart believed his promise. You believed him because his eyes were sparkling and he was holding onto you so tightly.

Yedam told you that you had to date him in secret, and that was just one of many red flags. He explained that if his friends found out, he would be teased and you would be hurt by their words, too. Nonetheless, you agreed. At school, you never spoke to him. All you got were stolen glances, Yedam winking at you every time you turned around in your seat. Somehow, that was enough to make your heart flutter.

You could only see each other in each other's homes, since even the risk of being caught out on a date was too much for Yedam to handle. The two of you would intertwine hands while watching a movie. You'd rest your head on Yedam's shoulder, or sometimes he would rest his head in your lap and you would gently stroke his hair, watching as his eyes squeezed shut tightly while he indulged in the feeling of your love.

Sometimes the two of you would listen to music together, quietly sharing earphones while staring out the window.

Sometimes you would just talk for hours into the night.

Yedam's smile would never leave his face when he was with you.

Except for when he was at school.

And you could handle it. At least you thought you could, until the final straw.

For Yedam's birthday, a few of his friends had gathered in his home, celebrating. You were also invited, of course, after you begged Yedam to let you come. He had told his friends that he invited you as a gesture of thanks for working on the assignment with him... it broke your heart to hear this lie, but you shrugged it off, again.

Everyone was feeling excited as they all started a game of spin-the-bottle. You felt incredibly out of place and already angry, even more so upon seeing a girl getting all handsy with Yedam, stroking his thigh with her hand and playing with his hair. She was constantly glued to him, but you shrugged it off, again.

After the bottle's mouth faced Yedam, the girl beside him dared him to kiss someone. How childish, you thought to yourself. You watched as Yedam locked eyes with you and started to stand up, making his way towards you with a small smile, but the girl beside him stopped him.

"Where are you going, damie? Isn't it me who you should kiss?"

Yedam looked back at her and then at you.

"I-"

"C'mon, it's your birthday!" she said, dragging him back down.

That literally is not an excuse and makes no sense, you scoffed to yourself, rolling your eyes.

The next few moments were a blur, but Yedam ended up kissing her and you felt like a piece of paper being torn in two. We can't even look at each other in public, you thought to yourself. You fought back tears and got up to leave. No one seemed to mind or care about where you were going, since none of these people were your friends anyway. Even Yedam was preoccupied, his lips on the mouth of this other girl.

You couldn't just shrug things off anymore. This was it. Now, it was your turn to ghost Yedam.

You hadn't told him, but your family were planning to move to another city soon. You told them to plan the move for earlier so you could leave that dreaded place and leave Yedam. Ignoring all his calls and texts, you transferred out the next week, and that was that.

I'm gonna break down these walls, I built around myself. I wanna fall so in love, with you, and no one else, Could ever mean half as much, to me as you do now. Together we'll move on, just don't turn around, Let the walls break down.

You can't focus in lecture as everything that happened with Yedam flashes before your eyes. Just as you're starting to live a normal life without him, he has to show up and allow of the trauma to resurface.

As soon as your class ends, you quickly pack your bags. Your friend does the same, understanding exactly what is going on. But it seems like Yedam and his feet move a little faster.

Just as you're about to leave your row, you look up to find Yedam standing at the end of it, a small smile on his face.

You sigh and turn around, telling your friend to do the same so you can leave through the other side. But Yedam just follows behind you quietly. He doesn't say a word and just follows you as you and your friend as you leave the lecture hall to go to your next class.

Suddenly, you stop. Your friend and Yedam stop, too.

You turn around, your fist clenched into a tight ball.

"Yedam, can you please stop following me? Do you not have classes of your own or things to do? Please leave me alone," you told him, turning your back on him again and walking forward.

Your friend didn't follow you, though, but looked back and forth between you and Yedam. So lost in your thoughts, you walk to class on your own, not noticing that your friend isn't following you.

Yedam's pov

After they say those words and leave, I feel my heart breaking in two. Of course I know how much I've hurt [y/n], but their words make me realize that I'll never be able to completely understand. I almost start crying right there and then...

"Yedam, right?" their friend asks me. I look at them and nod, confused.

"Listen, [y/n] hates your guts. They're not going to talk to you and hear you out, so I'll do it instead. I know [y/n] might regret it if they don't hear you out, even if they don't want to."

I smile at [y/n]'s friend. That sounds exactly like [y/n]...

"You've probably heard a lot of awful things about me, and it's all true. But... [y/n] probably didn't tell you about those nights we spent in each other's rooms... the times that we did get to spend with each other alone.... sorry, what I'm trying to say is that I've always loved [y/n]. Not even 'like', but I've always loved them. And I don't think I'll be able to stop... I know I was such a terrible boyfriend back then. I don't think I can say I even was much of a boyfriend... but I've changed. I can promise that I've changed. I know it must be so arrogant of me to ask if they'll give me another chance but..."

I trail off, my brain shutting down as I struggle to find anymore words to express myself. [y/n]'s friend nods after I trail off.

"I see... well, I've heard about your promises. I heard they couldn't be trusted but if you've changed, then maybe that has changed, too. [y/n] has a really kind heart, but I won't let them date a jerk ever again. So unless we both know for sure that you're different now, we are not letting you date them."

With that, [y/n]'s friend walks away and leaves me there.

[y/n]'s pov

In class, you feel completely empty, unsure of how to feel. You only notice that your friend had not been beside you this entire time when they take a seat in the spot beside you, apologizing that they're late.

"Where were you?" you ask them, looking up as they sit down.

"I was talking to Yedam," your friend tells you, never one to lie.

Your face fills with disgust at the mention of his name.

"Why would you do that?" you whisper loudly, causing some heads in the lecture hall to turn your way. You mumble an apology before returning to your friend.

"I wanted to hear him out," they say, casually opening up their notes.

"What did he say?"

"So you are interested, huh?" they ask you, teasing.

"No, I'm not!"

"I know, calm down! He just said something along the lines of how he's always loved you and does now, too, and that he's changed--"

"That is the most garbage thing I've ever heard," you say, interrupting your friend with a scoff. They smile, shaking their head at you.

When you return to your dorm after all your classes, you find a small gift bag hanging on the door knob to your room. Curious, you pick it up and notice it has your name written on the side.

You could recognize that handwriting from a mile away.

As if it's the side of a hot pan, you drop it, watching its contents spill to the ground. A pack of your favourite snack falls out, along with a neatly handwritten note, a CD player and earphones.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to look, you tell yourself.

Picking everything up and walking into your room, you sit on your bed and read the note over.

[y/n]!! ah, it doesn't make sense for me to be cute or excited in this note, does it? >.< please forgive me.... i'm a little nervous... here is that snack that you've always loved... do you still love it now, too? and here is something that i wrote for you~it's on the CD. just press play and i'll let the song do the talking... i wrote this after you disappeared.

- yedam

This song better be god tier if he's coming to leave it at my door, you think to yourself.

As the song fills your ears, it seems to fill your empty heart too. You can tell it's full of Yedam's sincere feelings and thoughts... or he's just doing a good job of acting while singing. You can't seem to tell, but you still tear up a little.

You hear the door to your room swing open, as your friend, who also happens to be your roommate, barges in.

"What are you up to?" they ask, placing some things on their desk. They turn around immediately when they hear you sniffling.

"ARE YOU CRYING?" they shout, sitting beside you and wrapping their arms around you.

"This... song... Yedam..." you croak, just handing them the earphones.

When they listen to it, they also go quiet.

"It sounds really sincere..." your friend tells you, quietly.

"I'm not the only one who feels that way?" you ask your friend, looking at them.

"You know him better than I do, so you're probably right," they tell you, standing up.

"Why did this boy have to show up and make a mess of my life again," you groan, hiding your face in your hands.

"Well, I have just the solution! I know you're probably going to think about him and not get any work done anyway, so should we just go to a party?!" your friend tells you, jumping up and down.

"A party?" you wrinkle your nose in disgust.

"It'll help you stop thinking about him! Please, we never went to any parties last year!! Let's go, just this once!" they beg.

After thinking it over, you agree. What's the worst that could happen?

Wearing one of your favourite fits and feeling good, you walk alongside your friend, who already has a groove in their step as the two of you make your way to the house where the party is set to be held. It isn't that hard to find, since you're just following the bright lights and loud music in the distance. It's a wonder the people in that house aren't being arrested for causing such a ruckus...

Finally there, you step inside and try not to bump into any weird people. The music is so loud its deafening, and you shrivel up at the sound of it. Your friend wraps their arm around you, pulling you in close and guiding you to the snack/drink area so you can take what you need and go to a quieter place.

Your friend did beg you to come today, so they won't force you to dance or do any things you don't want to do...

Now equipped with everything you need, you make your way to the basement, where it's a lot quieter despite being so busy.

"How's this for a change?" your friend asks you, grooving along to the distant sound of the music from upstairs.

"It seems like you want to dance," you tell your friend.

They shake their head.

"I'll stay with you toniiiiiight!" they cheer, hugging you tightly. You laugh.

"It's fine, just go up! The crowd doesn't seem too scary or weird down here," you tell them as you watch two people play mario kart in front of a TV.

After asking you 1000 times if it's really okay, they leave you there with a drink in your hand. You continue watching the two people playing mario kart, secretly rooting for the boy in orange because his fit looks really nice, even if you're only looking from the back.

He ends up losing and you let out a "noooo!" loud enough for the two to hear. When they turn around, you discover that the boy in orange had been Yedam all along!

I take back rooting for him... he deserved to lose!

Widening your eyes at the sight of him, you quickly turn away and try to navigate your way towards another room. To your surprise, as soon as you walk in, Yedam is in there, holding the door open at the other end and panting.

"[y/n]," he calls out softly, smiling slightly. You can tell he's testing the waters and wondering how to react.

You try to walk out of the room, but the door behind you has been shut by some drunken idiot! He's pressed up against the frame and no matter how much you push, the door just won't open.

"[y/n], if you want to leave, it's okay. I don't want to bother you," Yedam tells you, stepping aside from the other door and motioning for you to walk through.

You sigh.

"No, it's fine. I guess we're here for a reason now, or something," you mumble, sliding down the wall until you're in a comfortable sitting position.

Yedam smiles, closing the door behind him.

"Still caught up in all that destiny stuff?" he asks you, joining you in sitting on the ground but also keeping his distance.

You scoff in response. How does this kid remember everything about me?

"So... what are you doing in my house?' he asks you.

"Your.... house?"

"Yeah, this is my house. You didn't know?" he asks you, looking bewildered.

You think about your friend. They must have brought you here while knowing it was Yedam's house...

"Um... nevermind that. How... have you been?" Yedam asks you, wringing his hands.

"Me? I've been doing great until now. How about you?" you spit out your words sarcastically, but Yedam doesn't seem to mind.

"I've been... well... I'm not sure. It would be cheesy for me to say I've been feeling lost without you, but that's kind of how it is," he tells you, chuckling nervously.

"Yeah, super cheesy. It also doesn't make sense, Yedam," you tell him, avoiding his eyes.

"I know it doesn't, but to me it does. I know our relationship was a mess, but those times that we spent together were... something else. Probably some of the best times of my life, honestly," he tells you.

"And why... are you telling me this?" you ask him, curious to see how he'll respond.

"Because I know I'm in the wrong and there's no excuse for my past childishness, but... I've missed you. And I still do. I know I was really caught up in my reputation back then and I didn't open myself up to you properly, but I want to do that now."

He runs his fingers through his hair, and something inside you turns. You didn't realize just how much you loved it when Yedam did that until now... he looks so pretty--

No. What are you thinking?!

"I haven't missed you though, Yedam," you say.

He smiles sadly.

"I know. And there's no reason for you to. But I'm just... asking for a second chance in case you think there's anything left."

You gulp and look up at the ceiling. You hadn't even considered the possibility of dating Yedam again, but talking with him now is different. He's less cautious and seems to be a lot more comfortable with you.

Someone knocks on the door behind Yedam and Yedam tells them to come in.

"Oh, am I interrupting?" the boy asks, slowly backing away.

"It's fine, I'm just talking to [y/n]," Yedam says with a smile, gesturing towards you. You greet the boy and his eyes light up.

"[y/n]?! The one you always tell me about? Gosh... it's so nice to meet you!" the boy says, shaking your hand and sitting down in front of you.

"You put up with a lot of Yedam's antics, I've heard," he says, laughing. Yedam laughs along, but you're still in shock.

Yedam had never told anyone about you... but now this random boy knows everything?

"It was more than antics. I was... really bad to [y/n]. I'm surprised they haven't left yet," Yedam admits, leaning back.

"I transferred to your old high school after you transferred out, and this boy was always sad. He didn't talk to anyone but me, only because the teacher asked him to show me around. He told me everything about you and eventually told the rest of his friends, too. You were his biggest and only heartbreak... I swear everyone at our school knows about you," the boy explains.

"What did you tell them?" you ask Yedam.

"He told us how he had been dating you in secret because he was afraid to ruin his popularity, but that he regrets it a lot. A lot of his friends left him after finding out you dated Yedam," the boy explains. Yedam nods along.

You're in shock. The boy who was so secretive and insecure exposed himself as a heartbreaker?

"Anyways, I'm sorry to be interrupting. I'll leave now!" the boy says, standing up and closing the door behind him.

"You... told everyone?" you ask Yedam. He nods.

"I feel like it was the only thing I could do for you. You deserved to be known as the one who held my heart," he says, holding his chest and laughing at his own cheesy words.

You find yourself laughing along and loosening up.

A moment of silence stretches between the two of you, and Yedam breaks it by standing up.

"Do you wanna play mario kart with me? You seemed to be having fun watching," Yedam asks you quietly.

You nod, also standing up.

The two of you play for about an hour, screaming and yelling at the TV just like you used to in your bedroom when you'd play games together.

"I won!" you declare in glee, turning to Yedam to do your signature high five with him. His hands meet yours, and you only realize what you're doing only after its already happened. You awkwardly move your hands away, facing the screen again.

"I'm sorry..." you mumble.

"No, I'm sorry! It's really okay, [y/n]... if you feel uncomfortable around me, you don't have to--"

"Your song touched me a lot, Yedam. And now I feel like... I want to try again. Just like this game," you say, pointing to the screen that has try again written in the corner.

"Are you sure?" he asks you, slowly.

You nod, deciding you've made up your mind. You've seen a lot of green flags already -- enough to decide that it's okay to move forward.

Yedam smiles and looks down at his lap. Then his head lifts up quickly, his eyes lighting up.

"I can take you to that café you always wanted to go! They have one in this city... and there's a museum next to it too! Do you want to go there? I.."

As he continues talking, you realize that all of the things he's saying he wants to do were things that you never did with Yedam, even after one year of dating him. It was always stay-at-home dates and ignore-each-other-when-we're-at-school. Somehow, you feel excited, wondering what things will be like.

"[y/n]! I've been looking everywhere for--oh, Yedam? Hi!" your friend greets you both.

"Did you have fun dancing?" you ask them. They nod, pointing to Yedam with their eyes.

You get up and whisper into your friend's ear.

"We have a lot to talk about, but I think..."

Your friend doesn't even wait for you to finish before they say, "well, I have to leave early now. Yedam, can you walk [y/n] home? Great, thanks!"

With that, they disappear and you shake your head at your friend's strange behaviour.

Yedam is all smiley while still sitting on the ground.

"Do I get to walk you home now?" he asks you, standing up.

"I wonder what would've happened if you walked me home that day, too..." you mumble, thinking about the day you slept over at Yedam's in the same bed as him.

"What, do you want to sleep over today, too?" he asks you.

You shake your head.

"I don't want things to turn out like that again."

"You mean, you don't want me to kiss you like I did then?" Yedam teases you, sending you a wink.

"You--shut up!" you yell, chasing after him with a pillow.

This boy literally broke my heart, you think to yourself. He is testing his limits...

After you both calm down, Yedam walks you home. It's a little quiet at first, until Yedam speaks.

"Can... I hold your hand?" he asks you.

"This soon?" you say, still grabbing his hand anyway. He looks down at your hand in his and smiles.

"Yeah... you don't know how long I've been wanting to do this for," he admits, swinging your arm up and down as you walk.

You shake your head at him.

"Let's run!" Yedam declares, racing forward with your hand in his. You trail behind him, the sound of laughter escaping your lips and ringing in Yedam's ears. It leaves a bright blush on his face as he thinks to himself about how much he's missed your laughter.

The two of you slow down, panting.

"I'm so tired," Yedam wheezes, laughing at how weird he sounds.

"Do you want me to kiss it better?" you tease him. He raises his eyebrows at the comment. Maybe it's the adrenaline from all the running or the feeling of the night air, but a courage surges through you as you snake your hand around the back of his head and pull him towards you, pressing his warm lips to yours.

You pull away shortly after, feeling breathless again. A blush dusts Yedam's cheeks as he stares at you with wide eyes.

Your own stomach is full of butterflies, but you ignore it and walk forward.

"Are you not coming?" you yell to the boy behind you. He laughs and chases after you.

[a/n]: i just want to say that i do not condone getting back together with a toxic ex so soon... i was just really excited while writing and sped up the plot >.< but don't ever get back with someone who has hurt you unless you are 100% sure! please take care of yourself!!

190 notes · View notes

sillydreamer · 3 years

Note

Hi there! I saw that headcanon requests were open so I'm dropping one on Moonlight lovers. How would the boys react to a horror movie night? (I miss Halloween XD). Have a good day/evening and take care of yourself with the heat wave right now you have to be careful.

ML Boys in a horror movies night

Hi Anon! Thanks for your request <3, I do like Halloween to and besides me being scared of horror movies and screaming I do love them masochist. Please take care you two and stay hydrated all the time, now let's begin!

I apologize for bullying Raphael, is just that he’s so cute and ahhHhHAhHA MY HEART MELTS

Vladimir

At first Vladimir wasn't interested on watching movies.

They were "too modern" for him and even he told you that he rather see theater in a quiet place.

You had to drag him to do it (either Ivan or Ethan helped, working together with a single objective finally. Beliath just watched and laughed) and once all of you sat down the drama started.

If it's a classical horror movie like "The exorcist" or "The shining" Vladimir will complain saying things like "That isn't even accurate!" or "These movies exaggerate!"

Pray that Ethan doesn't shut him up by punching him in the face.

He will be the friend that complains all the time.

I think that Vladimir wouldn't be scared of whatever you see, he has lived a long time and saw a lot of bad things. A ghost or a killer that doesn't exist can't scare this man.

Beliath

When you proposed to see horror movies he accepted right away.

I think he'll be the one that wants to choose the movies and fights with Ivan to decide which one is the best.

He prefers more spicy movies and you all have to remind him that this is a horror movies night and at the end, he accepts it (or not).

He laughs whenever you scream and if you are close to him Beliath will hug you "Scared kitty? Don't worry, I wouldn't let anything happen to you"

Jokes apart, he really is like a pillow to hug when you are scared. Beliath may tease you a little but nothing more.

Living up with Asmodea got him used of unusual things so there's nothing that can impress Beliath.

He would like to repeat a movie night, specially if its of horror (mostly to piss off Vladimir).

He even would invite strangers to the mansion to see movies just like he does with the parties.

Raphael

Raphael was curious when he heard the idea, he was blind but that didn't stop him to join the group.

It’s by your comments and the sound of the tv do he could have an idea of what was going on (this and the sarcastic commentaries of Ethan and the complaints of Vladimir).

What scares him the most is when everything goes silent, he knows that something's gonna happen but he can't tell what. Be sure to hold his hand to calm this poor boy.

In this case he will freak out but internally, containing himself of screaming whenever the jump scare comes.

He’s unable to do it it and now he’s cursing on italian.

Still he has quite a special taste and prefers movies like “Les yeux sans visage“ or "Suspense" which he finds out quite romantic and more of his style (leave him be).

He likes to see know that everybody's getting along so Raphael will insist on making movie night often, he doesn't care if it's or horror or anything.

Still he would like to see horror movies just with you and Aaron, since Raphael knows that you both will help him to understand what's going on.

Aaron

He liked the idea and didn't hesitate to say yes.

Contrary to Vladimir he's curious of how does humans see the "paranormal" world or how does they represent the horror genre.

Is the quiet friend that tries to keep everybody calm.

That’s why he doesn’t get involved in what movie will everybody watch, he just brings the food and drinks and chats with Raphael while everybody fights and complains about the movie since he knows that this is a lost fight.

Whenever you scream Aaron grabs your hand and gives you a small hug, his other hand starts caressing your hair while whispers soft things.

But he can't but smile whenever you are scared, he finds it cute. Still he knows that it's bad that you feel fear and feels guilty for it, that's why he tries to comfort you.

He laughs whenever a werewolf appears and finds funny the representation of his species.

No but seriously this man is chill asf.

He loves to see everybody getting along, but he prefers to go with you to see movies outside of the mansion.

Ivan

I'm pretty sure that he's the one that started with this idea.

This man is into horror movies, he misses those days where his friends invited him to watch movies at someone’s place and eated like pigs.

He loves horror and terror with passion.

Beliath and Ivan will discuss about what movie will everybody see and luckily for this vampire, everybody trusts his tastes more than Beliath’s (because that man can put whatever he wants instead of an actual horror movie).

Still he gets scared easily and he’s holding a pillow or something to protect himself.

Despite this, Aaron needs to take care of his son this poor boi. Sometimes Ivan just freaks out a lot.

I think that he’ll hug you while both scream but then you’ll laugh about how silly it was.

Both of you will eat trash food and leave everything a mess.

Ivan prefers modern horror like “The wind” or “it” and all the Warren files.

He would like to repeat it sometimes, even he’ll ask to be just both or you since Ivan knows that you understand better how does this horror-movies night-works.

So expect to hug him and both scream until Vladimir comes to see what’s going on.

Ethan

Ethan just said yes because he wanted to see the drama.

He doesn’t care what movie they want to watch, he really is intrigued about terror in general and will enjoy whatever they show him.

If you are scared Ethan will tease you but like Beliath he will let you hug him if you really need it.

Ethan will end up with all the chips that Aaron brought.

This man is made up of sarcasm and isn’t ashamed of it, almost every singe word that comes out of his mouth while watching the movie is sarcasm.

“Yeah, it’s like the ghost will answer that wants to kill the whole family. who had seen it coming?” “Shut up Ethan” “Make me Ivan”

Still, if there are kids involved in the movie he will turn around and ignore it. Here’s when you need to hold his hand to give him confort.

Will laugh whenever you or Ivan scream.

Doesn’t tease Raphael because he didn’t expect him to scream and was surprised enough to block his sarcasm for a while.

Neil

Who invited him??

No but seriously, how he get in there?

Anyway, he’s just existing in there watching everybody discuss and scream.

Neil doesn’t even hesitate at anything, even when Aaron or Beliath are scared he doesn’t change its expression.

Doesn’t comment, doesn’t change its expression, just stares at the tv. You might start considering that he’s a ghost that is about to kill everybody in the mansion.

The truth is that Neil doesn’t even care.

Nothing can impress this man. Seriously, nothing

#moonlight lovers #moonlight lovers vladimir #moonlight lovers ethan #moonlight lovers headcanons #moonlight lovers aaron #beemov #moonlight lovers raphael #moonlight lovers beliath #moonlight lovers neil #moonlight lovers ivan

49 notes · View notes

songofclarity · 4 years

Note

Hi cat anon back again I absolutely loved your response to my ask though I doubt WRH sleeps 16 hours a day lol. On the contrary I think he's more likely a workaholic who rarely if ever gets a full night of sleep. even if he delegates a part of his workload, leading a sect as large as qishan wen is still a very hard and demanding job and there are things that just can't be delegated and there's also his cultivation that he must put a lot of work in to be that powerful I would be surprised if he ever gets time to rest. If I were to compare WRH as a leader to anyone it would be Miranda Priestley from "the devil wears Prada", all those working under him are terrified of him not because he's needlessly cruel but because he's extremely strict, demanding, and has very high expectations of everyone starting with himself and the higher you go in the hierarchy of the sect the higher his expectations of you will be and if you can't meet his expectations you will be kicked to the curb without mercy (srsly if you haven't watched that movie you absolutely should especially if you're looking for inspiration for WRH because Meryl Streep slays the role of the demanding and tyrannical leader in it).

Also I'm curious what kind of parent you think WRH is. We never get to meet WX in the novel so there's no way to know what he's really like but WC strikes me as a sort of spoiled kid who was used to getting all his demands met without question and was never disciplined for anything ever in his life but also there are WQ and WN whose upbringing WRH had more or less involvement in depending on the adaptation and who seem to be far better adjusted people than WC even if WN seems to suffer from near crippling social anxiety and stage fright. I personally think he has no idea how to parent because he was mostly raised by nannies and tutors and barely had any relation with his own parents if he had any so his idea of being a father is buying his children anything they ask for no matter how extravagant and having dinner with them once in a while.

Sorry for the rant but you're my favorite writer who writes WRH I just love the way you write him ❤️

Ahaha, 16 hours is indeed much too much, he needs to have time to work on his cultivation! I'm so happy you love the way I write him and I love hearing you talk about him, so thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!

I will confess I, too, have a soft spot for workaholic/insomniac Wen RuoHan. It’s a big sect and there is a lot to do! At the same time, I also have a soft spot for well-rested and idling Wen RuoHan who is purposefully kept oblivious to most things happening in his sect, either because other people are doing a good job taking care of it all, because they just don't want to look bad in front of the boss and so don't tell him, or both lol

To be honest, I don't see Wen RuoHan as someone who is that critical of people! I just don't see him dropping people simply because they make a mistake. The way he lightly jokes with Meng Yao after Meng Yao nearly gets himself killed is kind of something I can see Miranda Priestly doing though lol But she knows she's top brass and has the attitude for it. There is an arrogance about her that when she says something disparaging, it's really not a joke even if she might smile and laugh. By comparison, I don't think Wen RuoHan is nearly that arrogant or, if I may, that rude. I think politeness and proper manners are actually very important to him (and there is a whole essay in me about that lol). Wen RuoHan says "you good-for-nothing" only after Meng Yao was being self-deprecating, and then they laughed and carried on with Wen RuoHan going along with Meng Yao's ideas. Meng Yao's status doesn't falter in the slightest.

(So yes, The Devil Wears Prada is a great movie and I have definitely seen it!)

Instead of Wen RuoHan creating a toxic environment where he plays an active hand in making people fight for privileges and status, I can better see people around Wen RuoHan vying for his attention that it becomes a dog-eat-dog situation. It's like with the guest cultivator who threw Nie Dad under the bus. Wen RuoHan did not pose a question that needed to cause a sect-sect incident, but the guest cultivator made it into one. No one is quite sure why he would say such a thing, although one of the assumptions is that he said it simply to stand out and gain attention.

Although I may just have some rose-colored glasses on lol Wen RuoHan just kind of has that personality, to me, that draws people in. They see Wen RuoHan, recognize his power, and are like, "If I can have 5 minutes of his time, my whole life will change for the better." I do think Wen RuoHan thought he was making things better with his policies. The problem is that some bad people are taking advantage of this offer, and it in turn reflects badly on Wen RuoHan. I will say this though: I think there is some room to argue that Wen RuoHan does follow the teachings of Wen Mao.

For the record, I like to completely ignore what CQL did to the Wens, tbh LOL Wen RuoHan is Yikes, Wen Chao is more just evil asshole rather than pompous asshole, and Wen Qing and Wen Ning are like desolate orphans for some reason. I love the younger actors, acting, and the aesthetics (although white and red will always be Wen colors to me!) but the changes to their story line and their relationships with each other made a complete mess and I don't like to see it ;;

But man, I wish we knew, like, anything about Wen Xu! Wen Chao is absolutely spoiled though. Although one thing I like is how he's being given opportunities to practice leadership, management, and organization skills. He's the one arranging the Wen Sect team for the archery competition and he's put in charge of indoctrinating all the juniors when he himself is the same age as them. We see evidence that he's getting the right education and opportunities to maybe even become Sect Leader one day (Wen Xu, who are you!?), but we also know he's a rather rotten, arrogant person who seems to enjoy his power and privilege more than anything. Wen Chao is also the second son and we get a nice comparison with Nie HuaiSang, who also enjoys all the wealth and the pretty things of his station but doesn't want the responsibilities that come with it.

My headcanon is that Wen RuoHan adores children and is very good with them. I want to believe he was very good to Wen Xu, Wen Chao, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning. This is in part because every other parent in MDZS is awful so statistics says at least one of them needs to be good, so let's give it to Wen RuoHan LMAO

But for the actual teaching of said children, I can definitely see them being given tutors and Shifu and all that good stuff. Then when they have learned something, they show it off to Wen RuoHan, who I think is someone who likes seeing others learn and improve. I don't think utilizing nannies and tutors would make him a bad parent though! It might make him somewhat distant, however, which might explain why Wen Chao lies about killing the Tortoise of Slaughter. That would be a great way to get his father's attention! But it might not be because his father is distant. That lack of attention could also be because he's competing, as I mentioned before, with all the other people vying for Wen RuoHan's attention.

Considering Wen RuoHan gave Wen Chao his strongest bodyguard, a whole ton of disciples to lead, and opportunities to prove himself, I think Wen RuoHan is arguably a decent father. That Wen Chao was desperate to get back to him when it all went south shows that his father is someone he knows will protect him, which no other kid in the series (except Lan SiZhui who has the benefit of being from the next generation lol) ever displays. Considering how Wen RuoHan protected Meng Yao in the Sun Palace with Extreme Force, I like to think Wen RuoHan really doesn't mess around with the safety of his kids (with Meng Yao as honorary kid). Even Wen Qing and Wen Ning had ZERO fear running around as they did right after the massacre of Lotus Pier. No one and nothing is going to harm them--not with Wen RuoHan around.

(As a side note, Wen Qing said she wouldn’t be able to protect Wen Ning from Wen Chao if Wen Chao really wanted to kill him, but there is no mention of harm coming from Wen RuoHan. It really does sound like a sibling spat of “He’s going to fucking kill you when he finds out you ate his pudding and there is NOTHING I can do to stop him.”)

With all that said!! I really like your headcanon that Wen RuoHan wasn't close with his own parents and thus having no idea how to parent. It makes me sad, but in a good way lol So I'm definitely willing to run with you on it! Although I love the idea that Wen RuoHan is trying to be different than the generation before him. His parents weren't close to him, so he is close to his own children. He cultivated to a high level because no one was around to protect him, so he makes sure he's around to protect them. Wen ZhuLiu is an extension of Wen RuoHan and it shows when he protects Wen Chao, despite not liking the kid in the slightest.

So Wen Chao grows up spoiled and Wen Ning grows up fearless and Wen Qing grows up prideful because Wen RuoHan is just one letter away and no one wants to mess with Wen RuoHan.

#ty for waiting and for sharing wrh thoughts with me!! i love them!#asked from above #anon #wen ruohan #wen fam #mdzs thoughts #the problem with my headcanons and opinions is that #they change depending on what i want and where i am #especially for someone like wrh where we can tweak him depending on what we want out of him

17 notes · View notes

flamingo-writes · 4 years

Text

Mixtape Track 03

Humility by Gorillaz (feat. George Benson)

Summary: Even though he's a big city boy himself, Josuke Higashikata still agreed to go camping with you and your dad. Learning in the process that camping isn't as easy as you usually make it sound. However, its during the trip that he discovers something. A new set of feelings for you start clouding his mind.

A/N: this was also inspired by the recent camping trip I had with a fre friends a few weeks back.

Warnings: none.

People were usually surprised by how close Josuke and you were. Considering the both of you were so different. Sure, for two people who basically grew up together, you were very different.

Growing up, you constantly went camping with your father, since he was a botanist. Even though now a days he worked as a teacher in City S's University, he missed his researcher days when he'd go on field trips to research plants. And so, during school breaks, he'd go camping for a few days and take you along into the most recondite places in the middle of nowhere.

While you grew up spending a lot of time in the wild, you grew to be a bit feral and adventurous. Curious of the tiny details nature had to offer, with a lot of knowledge about plants, how to light a fire, how to climb, you were very much like a wild animal yourself. You kept your appereance always simple and practical and despite liking being clean, you didn't really mind if you got dirty.

Josuke on the contrary, was a city boy, despite living in the small town of Morioh. Always looked after his appereance, always clean, always smelling nice. Josuke was a smart kid, no doubt, but when it came to survival skills, he had none, since he usually took many things for granted because he was raised always withing the limits of Morioh.

In the summer before starting highschool, as per usual, your dad planned out a camping trip with a couple of his friends from college. They usually brought their kids along, with whom you got along with, but neither of them lived in Morioh. However, this time, your father told you you could bring a friend with you.

But boy, poor Josuke Higashikata didn't know what he had gotten himself into. He though it was gonna be different, considering how you always spoke so excitedly about your camping trips with your dad.

Its not that he didn't have fun. But it was all too complicated. Sleeping on the floor, not having a mirror and having to style his hair from muscle memory. The cold at night was something he never had lived through, his hands freezing as he tried to eat his very simple dinner, as the small group of people gathered around a small fire.

"So, what's the plan for tomorrow?" You asked your father, sitting next to you as he took a big sip of his beer.

"We're gonna go to Sendai, we want to visit the Tama River, probably take a swim there" Your dad said.

"Oh nice!" Kenta, a boy around your age sighed. "I love the Tama river!"

"Sendai? Oh gee, where are we?" Josuke whispered low enough so only you could listen.

"Not sure. But it doesn't matter. When we go to Sendai, we stay a night in some cabins with hot water and beds"

"Oh thank god. I really need a shower. And a roof above my head" Josuke sighed relieved.

"Youre such a city boy" you giggled as Josuke felt a blush creep on his cheeks.

"Yeah, camping its not my thing. I am having fun though" Josuke admitted.

"Thank you for coming here. And I'm sorry I dragged you out of the city" You muttered back, looking at your friend underneath your lashes.

"Hey, don't apologise. I am having fun. You dont get to see landscapes this beautiful in Morioh. Besides, I get to spend time with you, thats ways fun" Josike added apologetically, windering if you felt offended in some way.

It wasnt all that bad, he thought. The cold weather had him sharing a blanket with you. The two of you snuggled together, sharing a blanket. And for the first time, Josuke noticed a different glow in your face.

"Thank you, Josuke" You spoke after a few seconds of silence, resting your cheek on his shoulder and snuggling closer to him as he swore he felt you shiver and tightening the blanket around your shoulder.

Josuke mirrored your movements, getting closer together so the warmth between your bodies helped you stop shivering.

The way you seemed so comfortable in nature, how you breathed in so deeply l every now and then, and how you were quick to day dream while staring at the landscape. He always thought you were objectively a pretty girl, but seeing you like this, he wondered if you had always being this pretty.

Josuke's favorite part of the camping trip was indeed spending the night at a cabin your dad and his friends rented. The first thing he did was take a hot shower while everyone else gathered around a fire outside the cabin exchanging stories of all natures while a friend of your dad cooked dinner.

However, the hot shower was nowhere near close his new favorite experience of the trip compared to when you swam in the river.

The city boy felt slightly intimidated by the idea of swiming in a river. What if something happened to him? Was it really safe to swim in river? It took a little convincing for Josuke to get in there. But nothing you couldn't do.

"C'mon, you know how to swim!" You cheered.

"Its cold!" Josuke whined as he got a si gle foot inside and thought ofnhow the temperature was going to feel in his whole body.

"I know, but as long as you keep moving, you wont feel cold" You added.

"Its easy for you to say it, you're already in there"

"Come on! I'll buy you lunch when were back if you get in here and swim towards me!"

Josuke looked at you as you slowly swam on your back towards the centre of the river.

"You're gonna be fine! I promise!"

Josuke took a deep breath before jumping into the river and swiming towards you. The cold water stinging his skin at first. However, he soon felt the warmth of your skin underwater, as his arm brushed yours.

"Hey you made it!" You said wrapping your arms around his bare shoulders covered in goosebumps due to the cold. You hugged his as he kept moving his legs, brishing his knees with yours every now and then

"I cant feel the bottom, how deep is this river?" Josuke asked.

"Dunno. But it doesnt matter. Just keep swimming!" You cheered.

"I'm going to be honest, Im a bit scared right now" Josuke admitted, a blush painting his cheeks lightly.

"Hey, nothing's going to happen to you. Here" you said holding his hand "Some otters hold hands to keep themselves from drifting away, so, as long as we're holding hands, you're gonna be fine" You squeezed his hand softly as he looked at your uands, oretty visible through the crystal clear water.

"Are we otters now?" Josuke asked.

"You're my otter half" You giggled mischievously as Josuke glared at you at your bad joke.

"Wow" Josuke laughed as he noticed he no longer felt cold anymore "that is the cheesiest joke you ever made"

"Okay fine, you can stop holding my hand now" You joked.

"No! Dont let go! I'll behave, I promise!" Your friend whined.

You laughed, Josuke tightening his grip on your warm hand as the both of you were floating without going anywhere.

You swam together as everyone was enjoying themselves as well swiming in the river. A few hours went by before your dad and his other two friends got off the water and started a fire ready to warm up the food before the sunset.

It a few instances, you had held hands with josuke, without much of a thoight. However, this time ot felt a bit different. It felt a bit more intimate. The time you spent in the river, you were hding hands the entire time. Outside the river, you remained with your fingers entwine despite it not being necessary anymore.

Something in your chest felt different than usual. And you thought you were just being silly, suddenly feeling romantic about holdong hands with your best friend.

However, what you didnt know is that Josuke was having the exact same thoughts. And the same fast heartbeat you were having, as neither of you let gonofneach other's hands as you approached the fire upon being called for dinner.

[Mixtape]

Dont forget to leave feedback! If you want to be tagged in the future, let me know!

Also, have an actual pic from my camping trip. I did swim in a river and even though the water was very cold, I still had a lot of fun

#jojo's bizarre adventure diamond is unbreakable #jojo x reader #jojo's bizarre adventure #jjba #jjba part 4 #jjba pt 4 #jjba p4 #jjba diamond is unbreakable #Diamond is Unbreakable #diu #jjba diu #josuke higashikata x reader #josuke higashikata #josuke x reader #josuke

42 notes · View notes

cas-rivaille · 3 years

Note

Hello! Can I get a matchup for jujutsu kaisen please?

Appearance : 5'4 ace/heteromantic girl ambivert.Dark brown hair/eyes (I wear glasses but they are also sun glasses because bright lights give me a headache) a little chubby/muscled and pale skin+permanent smirk/smile/ neutral face. Plump lips. My style varies a lot (always comfy) but I never wear dresses heels/makeup. I love to imagine outfits with symbols from fandoms or my own drawings so I have a rather unique style (most of the time I wear a NASA jacket and leather boots/sneakers, I also love sleeveless turtleneck) who changes a lot. I have malleable cheeks and tiny hands/fingers/wrist.

MBTI: INTP-T and chaotic neutral/good

Zodiac: Gemini sun, Taurus rising, libra moon

Enneagram : My dominant is type 5 then 8. Quizzes says that I am a 5w6 or 8w7

Personality : .Sarcastic,a little naive but I have a backbone (don't bother flirting with me and if you feel that I am flirting with you which happens a lot then it's just my personality and on the rare occasion I notice they have to confess or I won't believe it) ,calculative,protective,creative,expressive,manipulative,a devil's advocate,prideful,charismatic, smartass, bookworm, daydreamer, a little insensitive/blunt because I'm more on the logical side ,vengeful, mischievous, a huge tease, open minded, very curious, gets annoyed easily, impatient (unless it's in drawing because I am a perfectionist there) so kind of a bad temper, observant but not romantically,sadistic to a point but my conscience prevents me from doing these acts. Indifferent to many things, morally...unique as my moral compass is on the neutral side I don't believe in absolute evil/good.

With my friends I am either laughing, goofing around or annoyed. I love to give bad puns or cursed ideas who are gore/weird and saying I know y all love me. Those who don't talk to me see me as a nerd aggressive smart and blunt person ( even prideful) and strangers as polite and kind. I notice a lot of details because I don't let my guard down even if I daydream plus I have a photographic + sound memory and they work very well in all situations which can be a bother when I try to concentrate which is difficult for me because I get distracted easily. Also I have very weird reflexes so...anyone who approaches me by surprise gets hit, any sudden movement and I already have my leg/arm going their way which got me into a lot of trouble.

Dislikes: I fight for my beliefs. I have trust issues so I never talk about my problems and will use humor when confronted. Bright lights. Cooking. Slow things or people. When I get teased in a mean way (otherwise I actually like being teased it's a fun fight after). People who change side easily and hypocrites. Overly serious people. I tend to be aggressive and expose an annoyed face easily (I am moody), plus I hate orders and love pressing buttons it's funny(in a fun way rarely in a mean one) unless it's a sensitive subject. When I feel that I am unwanted or someone insults me or take me for granted I become very cold and distance myself and the relationship becomes strained the more they take time to ask for forgiveness, something I might give but will never forget.

Likes: I love cats/laughter/sweets/pranks/dark humour/ a true crime and Supernatural enthusiast and I love science especially concerning space, chemistry, robotic and psychology. Books, sleep, drawing and video games too. Cherries. Sushi.Oh and debates I love them. Surprises too I hate routine and runs away from it. I like making character analysis which I often get right but never show to the people around me because I know they will trust me less.

Hobbits : Reading, getting lost in a book, drawing, learning, debating, daydreaming, sports (I practice karate and shooting), art (piano/drawing/writing especially poetry) and video games

I have some bad habits like biting my nails (I just got rid of it by painting them black)/lips and moving my leg up and down because I am always nervous, disorganized room/sleep and eating schedule plus I am lazy. Also I might try to hide it but I am very competitive and a sore loser

Fun fact : I dream a lot and write my dreams. I don't mind nightmares on the contrary I welcome them because I find them to be a nice experience and they give me ideas plus the amount of emotions you can feel is amazing. I also tend to curse while talking.

I rarely get motivated but when I do I give a very good work and put my soul in it, if I don't reach my goal I feel down for a while and become very snappy.

I am a lazy student (hell if I don't feel like writting I don't especially exercises that I understood) but also at top of my class so none says anything (i can befriend people easily if I want to, teachers included). My projects are often done last minute or just improvisation but I get a good mark at them which means that yes sometimes I can become arrogant and I don't really know what it feels like to study really hard and fail sorry. But I know it will bite me later. I often argue my way out of a situation with anyone : I know the exercise why should I write it? If I told you the answer then I know how I got it and you know it too no need for me to write the correction. Mum the brain is a muscle too so I am in fact exercising.

When dealing with an emotional person I don't know what to do I will try to give them words to keep going, it succeed but I am rather harsh plus I try to make jokes to cheer them up.But if a friend breaks down before me I will do my best to cheer them up (ahem jokes and reminding them of all the success they achieved) and if I am comfortable and they want a hug I will give it. I hate people who denies that others helped them.

My love language is gifts, quality time, a little act of service and affection in private if comfortable. I also love to send memes saying it reminds me of us/you and holding pinkies.

Please can you not consider geto,mahito, nanami, todo and junpei as matchups I am uncomfortable with them.

I am stubborn, moody (one day I can be really cold/snappy to the person because I am in a bad mood but I apologize after) and can be perceived as unloving even if it's not the case, well sometimes but I usually love affection despite me never saying affectionate things.

Thank you very much for your time! 😋

AHHH THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST !! this is my first jjk one i hope you like it !!

i won't be answering it in order lol i do it on memory then go back to make sure i got everything i hope that's okay !!

as for your matchup.... ITADORI

so a lot influenced my decision on this, first thing being

your mood, you said repeatedly how you can get moody and we all know itadori our precious bby is a ball of sunshine and very easy going. he would totally understand me give you space if you needed it and just try his best to help you feel better if something is bothering you :)

he would LOVE to link pinkies with you and spend quality time with you

our baby is a resident ISFP so you two def have similar aspects

he would love your pressing buttons/hating orders part of your personality bc i feel like it would lead to several clashes between you and some of the teachers and he would think that's SO FUNNY OMG

he also loves your sense of humor and there is never a dull moment between you two

if you were comfy with it, he would love to hear about your dreams because he thinks it's so cool that you write them down

please let him paint your nails he would love it

he would send you memes too x10 this boy has endless memes in his phone, you're guaranteed a laugh when you text him.

he would totally appreciate your way of cheering people up because it's exactly what he needs

you best invite this boy to anything karate related because he thinks it's SO COOL i mean we all know he has natural abilities but putting it into a martial arts form is s o amazing to him and he really admires you

don't be surprised if he asks you to draw him

IF YOU LEAVE HIM POETRY OR A LOVE NOTE HE WILL MELT ON SPOT. GONE. ASCENDED. EVAPORATED.

he loves your style and think you look so badass

i totally hc itadori somewhere on the ace spectrum, probably demi

dates??:

VIDEO GAME DATES

going and getting sushi together in the middle of the night low key just sneaking out

ARCADES

nights in watching crime shows or supernatural he absolutely LOVES occult stuff as we know he would probably make the two of you try a ouija board

COOKING DATES you two would make dinner for the first years and gojo every now and then and all the praises go to your cooking it's so good

all in all, itadori is the calm to your storm, you two mesh together very well and he loves you with his whole heart

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED LET ME KNOW IF I MISSED ANYTHING HAVE A GOOD MORNING/DAY/EVENING/NIGHT !!

- cas :)

#mars on earth #itadori #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jjk itadori #jujutsu kaisen itadori #jjk requests #jjk matchups

1 note · View note

geeky-writes · 4 years

Text

The Phoenix Project Chapter 12 Preview

Behind? Catch up HERE 😊

Gorgeous moodboard created by @crownofstardustandbone @therollingstonys thank you so much! 💖

********

“Oh, Pete’s a master tree climber,” said Tony. “You might wanna be careful though. It’s been so long since he’s been able to play outside that we might have our hands full trying to get him back in the house at the end of the day. You have not seen Pete’s puppy-dog eyes to the fullest extent of their pppllleeeaaassseee potential until you try to tell him that it’s time to come back into the house.”

Steve tipped his head back against the headrest, lolling it sideways to look at Tony. “Well, we could always just build him a treehouse. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind that.”

“Only when it'd be time to eat,” Tony said with a laugh. “You just better watch it, Captain, ‘cause once Pete gets all of his strength back, I swear that boy will be able to out-eat even you. I’ve never been able to figure out where he puts it all.”

“I am definitely looking forward to it,” said Steve. “I might even cook for us, if that’s okay?”

“Really?” Tony asked. “You know how to cook?” Because of course Mr Perfection himself would also know his way around a kitchen.

Steve gave a not-quite-modest shrug. “I’m actually not too bad at it. I did most of the cooking when I was growing up since Ma was always working so much.”

“Wow,” Tony said, his eyes wide. “So then, is there anything that you actually can’t do? ‘Cause I gotta admit I haven’t seen all that much evidence to the contrary, and—”

“Tony,” Steve said softly. “I’m not perfect.”

Tony winced. He had noticed lately that Steve had been finding Tony’s frequent jokes about his perfection less and less amusing, and so had been trying to cut back on them. But it’d been a lot harder than he’d thought since to him, Steve really was perfect.

“No, hon, I know that,” Tony murmured. “No one is. But as far as perfection goes, I’d say you're a lot closer to it than the rest of us.”

Steve pursed his lips. “I think a lot of it depends on who you ask,” he said. “And I also think that you just might be a little bit biased.”

Tony snorted, feeling some of the tension in his shoulders slowly seep away. “Oh, you think so?”

“Yes, I do,” Steve said with a wink, his hand sliding up Tony’s thigh just enough to send a sharp burst of warmth across Tony’s chest. “Call it an instinct.”

“Well,” Tony said, his voice cracking on the word. He cleared his throat, trying again. “Well, I have a feeling you might be right about that, Captain. But seeing as how I don’t think your ma would appreciate me sporting a raging hard on when you're trying to introduce us, we probably should put a stop to this kind of talk. Like, right now.”

With a downright evil grin, Steve leaned over, his lips brushing the shell of Tony’s ear as he whispered, “Just a temporary stop though, right, sweetheart?”

“Holy shit,” Tony whispered, shivering as desire shot down his spine like a spear. “You do realise that I’m trying to drive here, right?”

“Sorry,” murmured Steve, sounding anything but sorry. “I’ll leave you alone now.”

“Thank you,” Tony said with an exaggerated sigh. “But… only until we get back, right?”

Steve’s bright blue eyes darkened, his grin turning positively shit-eating.

“Oh, yeah.”

“Gods, you're incorrigible,” Tony rasped. “Like, seriously. I'm pretty sure I've created a monster.”

“Or maybe just unleashed one,” said Steve. He waggled his eyebrows, then somehow managed to school his features into a look of pure, boyish innocence in about three seconds flat. “Turn right at the next light, then it’s the third house on the left side.”

Tony’s gasp lodged in his throat as he made the turn, breathing in deeply through his nose as he tried to calm himself. For how inexperienced Steve might’ve been when they first got together, in the months since he had already more than made up for it, quite literally blowing Tony’s mind with his passion and attentiveness. Tony had always thought of himself as being a generous lover, but Steve was on a whole other level. He didn't only tell Tony that he loved him, he also showed him with every single caress of his hands and touch of his lips.

And Tony soaked up every single second of it, like an overly thirsty sponge.

“Here we are,” Steve said as Tony pulled into the cracked concrete driveway of a bluish-grey house that looked remarkably like his own, even down to the scraggly bushes lining either side of the front steps.

“I usually pay someone to come over and work on the landscaping, but the last kid I hired got accepted into the university and I haven’t been able to find anyone else yet,” Steve explained. He opened Tony’s car door, holding out his hand towards him. “Ma tries to do it on her own sometimes too, but she’s getting to the point now where she just can’t.”

“Well, once Pete gets better I’m sure he wouldn't mind helping her out,” said Tony. “If she wouldn't mind.”

“I can’t see why she would,” said Steve. He gave Tony a quick but encouraging smile as he reached for the doorbell. “Ready?”

“Yep,” Tony said. “Go for it.”

Despite his attempt at bravery, Tony couldn't help but flinch as he heard the doorbell echo inside the house, followed only a few seconds later by the sound of slowly approaching footsteps.

“Ma!” Steve exclaimed as soon as the door swung open. After guiding Tony inside he immediately held out his arms, drawing the petite, slender woman with greyishly-white hair into a careful hug. “You’re looking so beautiful today!”

“Ah, and you're just as much of a flatterer as your papa,” she said as Steve released her. She stepped back, her steel-blue eyes looking Tony up and down before offering her hand, her knuckles swollen and slightly bent with arthritis.

“Hello,” she said, clear and strong, her expression almost unreadable. “I’m Sarah Rogers.”

Tony cleared his throat, momentarily panicking. Was he supposed to shake her hand? Was he supposed to kiss it? Maybe he should’ve asked these kinds of questions before Steve rang the damn doorbell—

“Ma,” Steve said, cutting through the fog inside Tony’s mind. He curled his arm around Tony’s waist, giving him an almost imperceptible nod. “This is Tony.”

“Tony Stark,” Tony blurted, just on the off chance that Steve had somehow failed to mention his surname. He carefully grasped Sarah Rogers’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mrs Rogers.”

Sarah pursed her lips as she shook Tony’s hand, her grip plenty firm despite her pained knuckles.

“Yes, I know who you are, Mr Stark,” she said. “I've known who you are for most of your life.”

“Uhh,” Tony stammered, his blood running cold even as Steve’s arm tightened around him. “Yeah, well—”

“And what I also know,” she continued. “Is that the sins of a father should never be passed along to his son.” She glanced up at Steve, her eyes softening slightly. “And I also know that I’ve never seen my son so happy in his entire life, which he assures me is entirely the doing of both yourself and a certain young man with whom I’ll be shortly making my acquaintance.”

“That’s absolutely right, Ma,” Steve said.

“Yes, I can see that,” said Sarah. She released Tony’s hand and stepped back, gesturing towards her living room. “Please, come in, Mr Stark.”

“Tony,” Tony said. “Please, ma’am, if you don't mind, call me Tony.”

Sarah smiled, a bright smile that was so like Steve’s that Tony nearly did a double-take. “Tony,” she said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

The full chapter will post on Monday, June 15th 😊

#the phoenix project #superfamily #stony #stevetony #iron dad and spider son #superhusbands #superfamily fanfiction #stony fanfiction #iron dad fanfiction #tony stark #peter parker #steve rogers #parent tony stark #parent steve rogers #kid peter #chapter 12 preview #geeky writes

33 notes · View notes

retvenkos · 4 years

Note

Congrats on 2.5k!! You're an amazing artist, and have no idea on how many times I've read your fics 😂 even tho I'm kinda shy to comment... sorry, I'll try to work on that 😅 Can I get a 🔥 for Narnia, Newsies and Harry Potter Next-Generation?

I'm a straight girl, INFP, Hufflepuff, Daughter of Athena (in Percy Jackson universe 😂). I really like to read, and watch movies or TV series, theater or... anything that tells a story, I really don't care about the media as long as they have a good story to tell. I also really like writing, I really write a lot about what I think, or some poems, or even have tried writing songs, but I have no music knowledge so... lol. I really love music, I've loved music since I can remember, and I'm currently trying to learn how to play guitar.

To me, the most important thing that I have are my friends, I appreciate them more that anything in this life and would give my life for them. But I'm not an affectionate person, it's kind of rare when I'm openly about how much I love them, and only with real close friends I tell them a little more often how much they mean to me, and I'm not really into physical touch either, just with really close people.

I love long talks where I can talk about... anything. I have so many thoughts about so many things, and I'd really like to share them with someone, and that person to tell me what they think too. I'm open minded, and if someone doesn't agree with me it's ok, but I really like to debate and be able to see everyone's point of view.

I don't tend to say when I'm feeling down, and I'm kind of good at hiding it, (I hide my feelings with humor lol) so... I have to be really sad to let people know about it (and just really close ones). I don't feel comfortable letting other people know when I'm not feeling well, and even if they know it's still rare that they could help me so... I just feel with it on my own (even tho it would be nice to have someone there sometimes). On the contrary, I'm always there to help everyone. Most my friends come to me for advice and I help them the best I can. So... I'm kind of the therapist friend that no one check how is doing lol

You could say I'm kind of a geek? Nerd? Whatever xD but I like to have fun (like... it's easier to get out of trouble when you're one of the "good kids" in class 👀 I still follow most of the rules tho, just know how to have my ways sometimes). I'm kind of the stereotype for Ravenclaw, but I'm a Hufflepuff xD so yeah... I really like music, and musical theater, and lots of reading. Love to spend time with my friends, but really enjoy time with myself. I spend most of my day daydreaming, and don't like to follow rules lol (But I'm the voice of reason with my friends. I don't like rules, but follow them... if it's necessary) . I hate people who are selfish, or that don't care about others. Also hate people who manipulate others or that get into "friendships" just to get something out of it (those are fake friends so).

So... yeah, that's it. I'm sorry if it's a lot, and no problem if you can't do it 😅 (also, I would love some rivals-to-lovers? If it's possible). Really love your work 💕

Pd. Sorry for my bad English 😅

HP Next Gen:

I ship you with James Sirius Potter!

so first of all, james sirius is one of those dorky jocks who is made up of lame jokes, poorly timed finger-guns, an inexplicable talent in school (despite rarely studying), and persuasion skills that somehow work on even the strictest of teachers.

it is from this that the rivalry between you is born. james sirius potter doesn’t have to do anything! he can run a hand through his god awful hair, give a teacher a grin, and his entire year is set. he can skip lessons for quidditch, where you get extra work when you were sick with dragon pox! it’s not fair that james sirius potter gets to waltz through this school like he’s all that, and the rest of you have to suffer.

at first, the rivalry wasn’t that bad, you just rolled your eyes in class whenever his obnoxious “thanks, professor” was heard over the din, or whenever you went to quidditch matches and he showed off on his broom, instead of doing his job as seeker (at which he was pretty good, not that you’d admit it).

BUT THEN,,,,, you become herbology partners, and things get bad. fast.

you get that harry potter is friends with neville but really? neville, head of gryffindor house, the most just of gryffindors, is letting james sirius potter leave class 20 minutes early because he has quidditch practice? practice that, mind you, doesn’t start until AFTER class has ended? your professor leaves you to do the work of two people all on your own because james sirius potter said it was cool that neville cut the head off of nagini? come on! everyone says that!

so you end up having to do extra work, which leaves less time for your other classes, and you have to do it in herbology - a class that has the potential to be deadly when difficult.

it’s not a week until you march up to gryffindor tower (which is a pain on the legs, especially since your common room is in the basement) and wait for james sirius to show his sorry face. he doesn’t come down until lunch time, and then you have to follow him down to the great hall, because he “didn’t have breakfast” and he needs to eat “for quidditch.” it’s annoying, and yet he’s smiling the whole time?

you tell him he can’t leave class early - you almost had your finger bitten off the other day because no one else was there to hold down the plant while you tried to pick off it’s petals.

he says he can’t, but he’ll do your essays or whatever. “that’s plagiarism, you realize that?” “alright, then i’ll give you my notes.” “you don’t take notes.” “then i’ll start.”

and this is clearly going nowhere, so you sigh and leave.

it’s probably not even two weeks later when you are going to neville. he’s the head of gryffindor house and the one who made this arrangement. can’t he do something? the professor tells you that he chose you to team up with james sirius because he knows you can handle it on your own - and then he gave you some lame excuse about why james sirius needed the extra time, something about him about to be promoted to team captain at the end of the year or whatever.

and next class, for the little time that james sirius is working with you, he teases you about how you went to the professor. it annoys you to no end.

about a week later, you come down with a cold - madam pomfrey says a lot of it is due to stress, and while she gives you a potion to help you out, your still sick for two days. the day you get better, it’s the weekend and you get up early with the plan to get to the teachers before the quidditch game starts and ask beg them for less homework, or at the very least pick up what you missed. it’s early - almost everyone is still asleep, and when you walk out of the common room, you see..... james sirius potter? he asks if you’re alright - he heard you were sick for a couple days. you’re a little too tired for this, so you just answer his questions, no complaining. he then hands you a stack of parchment. “what is this?” “notes, for the classes you missed.” “oh.” “and i know how you feel about the rules, so i didn’t actually write you a herbology essay, but i did give you a good outline.” “oh.... thanks.” “’course.” and he gives you one of his awkward smiles and a solitary finger gun. you roll your eyes, but wish him luck in the game. he’s a little shocked, but you say it’s against ravenclaw, and their egos need to be taken down a peg.

and from there you are a little softer toward james sirius, but he’s still annoying as hell.

i have a very vivid idea of you having gone to a quidditch game, and gryffindor, of course, won. you decide to wait in the stands until everyone clears out, because it’s easier that way, and you want to finish your popcorn, anyway. james sirius has lingered on the pitch with the current quidditch captain, and when he sees that you’re one of the few still lingering, he goes up to meet you. he sits down next to you and steals a bit of you popcorn, which makes you roll your eyes, and he says something like “i didn’t expect you to wait for me.” “i wasn’t.” “sure.” and the two of you sit there for a moment, james coming down from the high of winning, sharing the remnants of your popcorn. it starts to drizzle and james uses his wand to make an umbrella, and the two of you start up a conversation about whatever - definitely not school related, and not even quidditch related, just something out of the blue. it’s not until all of the popcorn is gone and it’s raining in earnest that the two of you walk to the castle, james laughing at his own jokes and you smiling despite yourself.

i also imagine that, when the two of you become better friends, james sirius has a quidditch accident where he maybe breaks his arm or something. you get to go into mom mode, and james sirius teases you, saying that he “didn’t know you cared.” and it’s reminiscent of the dialogue above, but instead of denying it, you say “of course i do, you idiot.”

alright i went off (and now i want to write a fic about this) but i think the two of you would be really cute together because james sirius would love to talk with you about everything. he has a whole lot of siblings, and as the oldest is great at keeping conversation and he’s also actually really good at reading a room, despite what he may pretend. he would know when you’re feeling bad, and he’s also really good at accurately finding your insecurities and then boosting your self-esteem in exact ways.

and i also think that you and james sirius are music enthusiasts. if you are a pureblood, he introduces you to the wonders of muggle music, and if you are a half-blood or muggle born, you bond over your favorite muggle artists.

also, i have this headcanon that james sirius learns the guitar so he can be a certified heartthrob™ and no doubt he got the idea from you - you were in the hufflepuff common room just messing around, and he notices your guitar. maybe you learn together?

and while james sirius isn’t much of a reader, he loves movies more than anything else, so the two of you definitely have marathons.

Narnia:

I ship you with Peter Pevensie!

alright, the two of you would have the sweetest, most supportive relationship I’ve ever had the pleasure of writing

this one is a certified friends to lovers because from day one, the two of you get along really well together. even though peter is a little more extroverted, he’s the older brother and has a lot of introverted tendencies because he’s tired™

there is nothing that peter would love more than going on a walk through the gardens with you, talking about your interests - he likes to steer the topics to what you like to do because (1) he likes the way your eyes light up when you talk about what you love, and (2) he is tired of talking about himself. as king, he’s only ever talking about the problems he’s facing, or big problems that cover all of narnia. the smaller interests you have are his respite, his chance to have a bit of normalcy, as a high king.

you are also both hufflepuffs, so you’re fiercely loyal to those you love, and you’re both hard workers - stopping at nothing to do what needs to be done. you are both there to bolster the other in their efforts, but also get them to relax at the end of the day, since caring as much as you do and working as much as you do is the definition of exhausting.

you’re also the parent couple! we have peter, the dad friend (complete with the worst dad jokes you have ever heard. they’re even worse when they’re “king” jokes which are like dad jokes 2.0) and you, the mom friend! together, you make sure that your friends (and subjects) are well taken care of. and you act like stand in parents for edmund and lucy, which is not only exhausting but rewarding.

now, even though peter is a very affectionate person, more than that he’s thoughtful and the moment he realizes you don’t like that, he’ll stop. he’s more than happy to just be near you - reading books or pouring over documents with your input (because he definitely gets your input on issues of state).

he also becomes big on getting you flowers or making you food (because headcanon that peter learns to cook in the cair paravel kitchens!). peter just has a lot of feelings, and as long as he has a way to express them, he’s good.

he loves it when you give him praise, so whenever the two of you are stargazing and you compliment him, he blushes deeply. use this power wisely, because he will blush a deep red, and it’s a little awkward when he’s the definition of heart eyes in the middle of a privy council.

Newsies:

I ship you with Crutchie!

alright, so you and crutchie are, once again, a really sweet couple.

crutchie loves your way with words - you have a tiny notebook that he got you as a present, one year, and you are constantly writing poetry in them. you will often show him your work, and he’s astounded with your level of craftsmanship. he’s told you on multiple occasions that you should write one of those poetry books that he sees well-to-do men buy for those they love, and you get al bashful, one of his favorite looks.

also, both of you are dreamers. you definitely have lots of talks together, usually when you’re doing something absent minded like mending clothes or selling on the same corner, and you talk at length about what you want for this world, and what you hope to do in it. crutchie has a big imagination, and so do you. sometimes, the two of you see who can make up the best, most random story.

also! in a high school! au the two of you are the sweetest, most unsuspecting rule breakers ever. i mean, you’re friends with race and albert, after all, there has to be a chaotic streak in you somewhere. everyone is genuinely surprised when they realize that you and crutchie have snuck out of class and pulled the fire alarm before.

the two of you are also big readers. i imagine that crutchie likes mystery novels a lot. idk why, exactly, but he loves sherlock holmes, so the two of you not only read books together, but rate the different versions of sherlock holmes adaptations. (modern! au, of course, unless benedict cumberbatch is making tv series in 1899)

you debate over which of you is watson and which one of you is holmes. you’re both really smart, so it’s hard to say which one of you gets sherlock rights.

also, both of you are really good at hiding when you are hurting or in pain. and yet, both of you are also really good at spotting it in the other, seeing as you know the tells of hiding. i think you are both really empathetic and would be good with each other - leaning on each other when necessary and always being attentive of the other. all around, you’re a great match.

also, in a modern! au crutchie would love the percy jackson series. the two of you would riot over the terrible live-action movie and be very excited when the disney+ series comes out (here’s to hoping they don’t botch it)

#2.5k celebration!#celebration #lxncelotships #i kinda went off with the james sirius headcanons but i got the vibes and now i want to write that fic lol

3 notes · View notes

ilchohand · 4 years

Text

Ichidai San vs Seidou: Koshien Aftereffects

@ Anon-san, here's the essay haha!

I've officially watched the Ichidai San vs Seidou match for the fourth time last night. My adrenaline was so high, I couldn't sleep until 3am that I ended up wanting to unleash all these feelings for this show.

Daiya, Act II ep 13

And I kid you not. I'm writing 'bout everyone in Seidou.

Coach Kataoka & Ochiai

Let's start with Boss. I'd like to reiterate that he always had high hopes for Eijun.

Daiya, Act I ep 5

He placed Eijun in the first string even when the boy was still shit with his form, his control, and zero baseball knowledge. Even Osaka Kiryuu's coach implied that it's actually Eijun who is Kataoka's secret weapon.

I remember him even letting Eijun pitch against Raichi during the batter's next at-bat against Eijun. That was cleary a sign that he was starting to trust Eijun. But clearly Eijun wasn't still good enough back then. Kataoka knew of Eijun's potential, it's just that he didn't expect him to grow soooo fast. Eijun was bound to get there someday, but not this soon. However, seeing Furuya's pitching in Koshien, he too was blinded by it since he was desperate for a real ace with an impact. Of course you'd wanna parade your pitcher like that. This is where Ochiai enters the picture. (If you've ever felt personally victimized by Ochiai, please raise your hand! ✋) Kidding. Ochiai was shit during his introduction. It took a long time to warm up to him, but he was an essential addition to the coaching staff. Kataoka, although tough is more of a feeling kind of coach. While Ochiai takes information at face value. Clearly in the Ichidai game, Ochiai was the one who was practical even suggesting that Eijun's pitching is more effective (even though he likes Furuya as a pitcher more). Kataoka was blind, and it was glaring. Why? You see the other teams were watching. And every single coach of the teams Seidou played against with is wary of Sawamura- even Inashiro's Coach Kunitomo. Eijun is the kid who rallied Seidou to one out away into reaching Summer Koshien- during his first freaking year.

This is why I really like it when Ochiai said Kataoka is human afterall. I guess Kataoka also has some growing up to do.

I'd like to add that these two coaches were blinded by the Koshien performance that they didn't even notice that Furuya's form was crumbling. Quoting these reddit posts, the coaching staff was purely after results. If it's not broken, don't try to fix it. We all gotta say thank you to baseball jesus, Chris-senpai, for we won't be having this problem with Eijun.

Furuya

Contrary to people saying Furuya became selfish, I feel like he actually knew what his role is and the expectations from him. He never once lost the goal to win Nationals. It's just that, he didn't know how to actually do it. He was chasing his best performance. He didn't want to be Japan's #1 pitcher for the title you know. He wanted to be the top pitcher to bring his team to the top.

Let's accept it. Despite being a monster rookie, he shouldered the ace number prematurely. Of course the weight of it would one day catch up to him. This is why the phrase 'There are no shortcuts.' keeps being reiterated in the story. I felt bad for Furuya so much. This phase of his baseball life is pretty parallel to Eijun's yips arc.

Eijun

How do I even start with our ball of sunshine? He really puts relief in 'relief pitching'. Such a refreshing player. Woah, like Sanada Shunpei. Yes we know that an ace carries the whole team, we know that an ace saves the team during a pinch, and an ace uplifts the overall mood. Already sounds like Eijun right? We know the role of an ace and how an ace should perform towards the team. What the Ichidai San match highlighted is how a team, in response, acts towards the ace. Trust. It really slapped me in the face the same way it frustrated Eijun. The extreme difference in trust given to an ace versus a relief pitcher.

This was the turning point for Eijun. Probably why I love rewatching it despite the angst. (For a more painful experience, try rewatching the episode before the Ichidai San match 🤭🔪🦝) Anyway, during that scene where Kataoka was dumbstruck with Eijun's top tier pitching I kept remembering that one quote from HQ by the U19 coach--

"We don't look for them, but that doesn't matter. They come to us with solid, undeniable strength and they make us choose them."

Literally screams SAWAMURA EIJUN!!!

Miyuki Kazuya

Where should I stab him? (Ya'll stop taking me seriously when I say stab okay?) I've been saying this all the time but our personality is the same. It's nasty. I love him and hate him at the same time okay?

Anyway, I hope we're all aware and agree that Miyuki also saw Eijun's potential from day 1. Sakuhin shit right there. Miyuki likes interesting people or happenings. This guy played catch with noob Eijun during his day-off! Offered, in fact. (Act 1, ep 5 during that intra squad game of 2nd/3rd yrs vs 1st yrs).

May I also add! Chris didn't like Eijun in the beginning. It was Miyuki who ended up covincing Chris to look at Eijun clearly and say "to a catcher, he's the most interesting kind of pitcher". However, this boy has his first string duties so it was understandable that he focused on Furuya for a while. But what's unacceptable is, during Ichidai's game, he was guilty of prioritizing Furuya over the game. This is 99% on Kataoka but 1% on Miyuki. Bitch you were losing and you couldn't even send distress signals to the coach. He trusted Furuya because of the Koshien performance and the ace number when a whole ass Sawamura Eijun exists. That's why he was quite guilty when Eijun dropped the 'trust' word on him during the switch.

And while I like that Eijun's performance during the Ichidai San match was eye opening to the catcher, I still haven't forgiven Miyuki for the day before the game when he 'ditched' or put Ei on the back burner. No, no. I'm not simply being a bitch about it because we know Miyuki's POV at that point. He needed to figure out what's wrong with Furuya and a match was looming. He didn't throw Eijun away, he just put him off a few hours. What I'm angry about is the way he put it to Eijun.

We all know Eijun is dying for some Miyuki acknowledgement. I'm pretty sure Miyuki is so unaware of this fact. Which brings me to the point. Miyuki is unaware of how his words come across to Eijun. How it impacts the little pitcher. That a simple jab to Eijun like "ace-sama wants to pitch" is a big sore spot. We see this later at night when Eijun keeps repeating, "Since I'm already put at the back burner!". Miyuki was being sarcastic about the ace-sama thing. But you see, Eijun is a big idiot. He takes everything at face value. Miyuki even brushes it off as they practice catch, "You're still angry about that?" he jokes.

And whooosh, everything's okay! Or is it?

You may say I'm being dramatic about it. But no. Here's why. During the Ichidai match, Eijun flashes back to two things. One, while on the bullpen frustrated that Furuya's messing up, he recalls the day before when Miyuki chose to catch for Furuya even though he promised to Eijun. (The other one, at his at-bat, he remembers when Kataoka didn't let him pitch the last inning.) So what seems to be a simple nasty joke to Miyuki is a sore spot to Eijun. I have observed this time and time again, but Eijun is quick to under value himself, and these jokes Miyuki pulls aren't helping. Recall that crippled Sawamura self deprecating joke he did, and him saying he was put in the back burner.

(Well anyway, Miyuki was praising Eijun in his mind the night before so I'm appeased. This is one of those TJ inconsistencies I hate, but okay, that's another post. ☹️)

Everything got better after the Ichidai game. Because as Eijun made Kataoka look at him properly. He also did the same to Miyuki. Eijun's performance just screamed, "I'm here. I'm ready!" It lit a fire to everyone in Seidou.

Fielders/Batters

I want to end my long ass post with a good one. I wanna highlight the team's performance during the Ichidai game.

While Furuya was pitching, I could go as far as say the fielder's were baby-ing him. They were so soft and encouraging because they knew Furuya when he is at his best and that it was off day during that time. The fielders were playing primarily to relieve Furuya's pressure.

In contrast, when Eijun was playing on the mound do you guys know how the batters felt? Kanemaru? Kuramochi? Utter frustration and hopelessness. And I was giddy as fuck when that happened. Because Eijun was performing his best, but they couldn't get any runs in response to his amazing pitching. It mothafuckin felt so good watching them feel powerless.

Don't you love this whole match? Obviously I do haha! If you guys ended up reading everything, then thank you! I really wrote this for myself because I was overwhelmed while rewatching it. 😅

#I PRINTED THE DRAFT OF THIS ON PAPER #THE THINGS I DO FOR DAIYA #I LOVE MY SUNSHINE BOI EIJUN SO MUCH #MIYUKI LOOKED SO TURNED ON DURING EIJUN'S FIRST PITCH DURING THE ICHIDAI GAME. DON'T LIE.#daiya no ace #sawamura eijun #miyuki kazuya #furuya satoru #kataoka #coach ochiai

11 notes · View notes