#despressive episode who

[bi-buck-coded]

i hope you have sm fun at the concert!!!! <3

Dude ilysm stop coming in my asks with kind words or else ill have to marry u

[amyyythestarry]

My Welcome Home Aus!

( Some of these aus are inspired by others ideas, I will give the names if I remember them )

New World - The world of Welcome Home was destroyed by the infamous Wally Darling, who had killed the inhumane creators and wrecked him, his friends, and family ( Which was only his mother and Eddie). The only one who was conscious in the ‘ Disposal Void ‘ was him, of course, and he couldn’t bare see the ones he loved lay unconscious, their felt torn, stuffing spilt, and body parts ripped from their very bodies. So, Wally sew them all back together with golden threads that caught his attention ( He didn’t know why the thread wa actually gold, but he knew it was laying near a brown book with a gold infinity sign on it. He took that too ). After patching his loved ones up he realized that their was nothing else of the world they once lived in, but unknowingly to him, he could make one of his own, from his own mine, and manipulate it however he pleased. But the previous world would not leave his memories no matter how hard he tried.

—

Breaking The Show, Anything Goes! ( The person who gave me the idea to make this au is anonymous on AO3, but their fanfic is called “Falling In Love With Living” ) - After the creators ditched the puppets and the viewers stopped watching the Welcome Home cast caught themselves in a time loop, but the only ones who was aware of it were Wally and Home. Being the only sentient beings in the neighborhood they helped each other cope with the world they were in but found themselves going mad over the repetitiveness of everyday that has been going on for five years.

But one day their friends started acting weird and suspicious, which was not supposed to happen in the episode they went over everyday. They started gaining sentience, and messed up everything from there. New places and people started to show up, the world started acting a little too real as well as their neighborly best friends. Tearing apart every script, ruining every episode, and even acting out of character. Wally Darling tried to stop the madness and make everything go back to normal ( Since new was wrong ), I mean sure, he was physically and mentally tired of the days repeated over and over and over and over and over and over again but he feared that if things kept going like this the world would simply end. But would it reallly?

—

Darling Little Mischeif ( This was particularly inspired by the person who created the vampire Wally au, I just can’t remember their @ ) - A Halloween WH au where the puppets live side by side with humans along with puppet monster and humanoid monsters. Their neighborhood is full of sunshine and happiness as well as spookiness and mystery, especially since people have been randomly going missing, sometimes found extremely injured, turned into rainbow vampires, or dead. Nobody knows who’s causing the disasters, not even the police, so the Welcome Home characters help find out what’s going on!  —

Lights, Camera, Action! ( I don’t know who originally made this au ) - Actor au. That’s it.

—

Smile On Your Own - A world where everything is near perfection, no capitalism, no criminalism, no evil, no negativity. A world that was made by Wally Darling. 

Wally makes a world that is brilliant, bright and perfect ( Like him ) and brings people who are miserable and desperate for a change to that world! Julie Joyful and Frank Frankly are the first ones to come across it, thinking it was fiction and showing it off to their friends until they all get trapped in it. And once they find out who runs the place they immediately blame it on Wally. But he claims that it will make all of their worries, despressions, anxiety and negative feelings go away in a snap! Their not falling for it, still thinking it’s a malicious trap. But oh, Wally will make them wish they gave in.

—

PART TWO COMING SOON! 

And also want y’all to know that these aus will include my ocs that I will be introducing. I would draw them but I haven’t been the best at drawing lately and I don’t think I have time for that so yeah.

And the WH casts are aged down to teens in every au.

Having a good morning/afternoon/evening/night.

[chrisjake-cp]

[CH-ENG translation] Interview: Find something to be wholeheartedly happy about. Jake Hsu: "Being an artist is influential work. I hope to continue to bring strength and warmth to other people."

Interview by Alec Zhan, Men’s Uno, 16 December 2022

"I want to make the world better through my works. I really believe this can happen. Being an artist is influential work. I hope to continue to bring strength and warmth to other people," Jake talked like this in the interview. After acting in several Q-series, Jake gradually grabbed the attention of the public. In 'Shards of Her', he displayed exquisite acting skills, and fully received recognition for it. In this interview, he not only shared his experiences along the way, he also brought up the reasons why he ardently loves acting, as well as his determination to become an actor. Let's walk together through these words to Jake's inner world.

A poem that let him walk to the heart of a character

Talking about the present situation, Jake indicated that he's in the middle of filming a series. In December, more details will be shared. "It's a 6-episode miniseries, and filming will soon be over. This role is very fun to play. Next to martial arts scenes that I filmed earlier, there is also much physical labor to be done for this role. [My character] is a driver of a tricycle. In the series he really has to ride a tricycle to transport goods, he's exposed to the sun a lot, he talks Taiwanese, etc. It's a character type I haven't come into contact with before."

In the recently popular ‘Shards of Her’, Jake, who plays Tiffany Hsu's younger brother, successfully attracted the attention of a lot of fans thanks to his superb acting. This included making the audience, along with Tiffany Hsu, cry with just one line.  

About the how of playing the part of Lin Zhen Ye, who fell into a depression, he said: "I just want to find that burden, to the point that it I collapse under its weight myself. What is his (mental) state? How does he think? This results in him [Lin Zhen Ye] entering a state that normal people can't understand in the end, because he doesn't even talk and can't communicate with other people. But he also makes some moves that push forward the plot of this series. So this text was very important to me and helped me a lot. Whether it was lines or writings in the script, it was written for the actors to read."

Among the annotations, Jake remembered there was a poem by Lin Wanyu  that kicked his heart into gear and guided him towards this role. "That poem is my favourite in the whole series. Even though it's written somewhere on set, the audience probably won't get to see it. This sort of thing is very important to me. The poem goes like this: The things I held on to are still in my pocket It's those little beliefs Supporting the entire workings of the galaxy Giving me light in the daytime And stars at night

Just like this character's affection for his sister has been in his heart all along. No matter which emotional difficulties he faces, this conviction make sure he can go all the way until now."

As for the popularity of the series [Shards of Her] at the moment, did it make Jake feel like more attention was on him [as an actor]? He explained laughing that because he cut his long hair, he wouldn't really be noticed by other people.

On the reason of him cutting his hair, he said: "I think I was a bit despressed while shooting this series. When I was in the middle of learning the character, I thought that nothing in life was happy. I lent my body to him to experience such feelings, and I in turn felt that depression [of his]. My own way of getting out of it was by cutting my hair." 

Even though Jake cut his long hair short now, he indicated that if there was a series requiring him to let it grow out, he would be happy to accept.

Enjoying the compliments of others

Talking about his experiences since making his debut as an actor, Jake has gradually become famous after taking part in several Q-series. About the experiences and the training process of that time, he said that, thinking back on it, he was actually very happy, even though at that time he was short on money.

 "I shared a rented room of 1 ping [3.3m2) and the rent of that room was only 5000TWD [about $162]. I spent almost two years living like this! This room, apart from our (bed)room had a communal space outside. I remember when it rained we had a pond. We had no windows, and mice would scurry in the ceilings and later die in the bathroom. It's funny thinking back on it now. That there are such houses in Taipei! But we can't complain about living in the city center for only 5000TWD [a month]."

Although many mysterious and odd things happened in that house, Jake still felt reluctant to leave when it was time to move out. "When life was really hard, I'd still have a feeling of reluctance to part with it. But that was because wanted to keep living there, so I didn't have to give up and return home."

Since childhood, Jake was fond of performing and it seems that as a child he already set the goal for himself to become an actor. "I remember that I liked performing, even when I was really young at three or four years old. At that time I was doing some silly magic tricks in front of friends and classmates. Because we were all children, they were happy to watch, no matter how silly the magic tricks were. I really enjoyed their feelings of amazement ('Wow') too.”

  After this, Jake dabbled in magic tricks all the way until high school, and became the president of the magic club. He also decided to attend  a university that taught performing arts. "I never thought about doing anything else than acting at all. Signing up for the drama department was my only choice ever, and I always said that if I didn't pass it [that department's entrance exam], I'd serve in the army."

Still, no matter how much Jake loves acting, he still can't shake the feeling of nervousness when facing the cameras. "The first time I was looking into a camera, I was really nervous to death! There were huge differences with the stage plays that I studied. These differences still exist until today...I'm still fumbling and endlessly exploring, but learning these things is really fun."

Perhaps because the opportunities for acting became more numerous, Jake has slowly explored his own ways to prepare, such as drinking water before going on stage/walking on set. This way he can disspel some of his anxiety. But he also shared that preparing for filming is still vastly different than preparing for a stage play. "The work format is slightly different. Stage plays could be rehearsed for 3 or 4 months at a time. The director and the actors continuously work until everything is perfect. That's not the case with filming [a series or movie]. When filming you receive a script and things you film today are broadcast together with things you shot on the first and the 80th day, so the moments when your performance isn't totally okay are easily noticed [litterally: 'easy for bitter scenes to appear'].

Finding things to be wholeheartedly happy with

Jake also has a very intriguing habit, which is that before he boards a plane, he will write a death note. We're also curious about what he writes in those. "The main sentiment is using elegant and sentimental language to bid farewell to my family. The intro to each death note approximately goes like this: 'Mom, dad, thank you for supporting my interest [in acting]. I may be dead now, but I don't have any regrets. Please rest assured that I lived a happy life, even if I didn't earn big money. Sorry for not leaving you any money, but in this acting business you really don't earn much' and such. I am someone who doesn't want to have any regrets left. Suppose I took a plane today and the plane was going down ten minutes in, I would go crazy if I didn't write such a death note, but it is what it is."

 The funny thing is that you can probably find the death notes Jake has written before all over his home. "I have my death notes everywhere in my home now. I'm not sure that I unearthed the previous one each time I write a new one. When the time comes, I hope the lawyer will be be able to find out which one is the most recent note."

In private, Jake is a big movie lover. He likes to look at movies with an analytical perspective. "The first time watching a movie I'm more of an audience member, but if I like the movie, the second time I watch it I might think about the director's shots or admire why actors performed something a certain way. This way you can really learn a lot of things."

Another way to recharge his batteries is by playing badminton, which he started last year. "I discovered that playing badminton makes me extremely happy. Even though I don't play very well, I don't need to think about or care about anything while hitting [the shuttlecock]. I also discovered it's extremely important to find anything you can be wholeheartedly happy about."

Apart from his private interests, Jake reckons he's a multi-faceted person. "Because I was confronted by some issues in the past two years, and I examined myself a lot, I discovered that I am a completely different person when I am on my own, when I am hanging out with friends, or when I'm hanging out with fellow actors in a work situation. If anyone overlaps in two domains [i.c. if anyone is both a friend and a colleague], they'll be surprised about how different I am. This also opened up my understanding of a role; characters can have extremely different aspects, even though they're one person."

Like when he hangs out with friends, he said that he's often acting crazily [outspoken], but when he enters his workplace, people have asked him whether he's a bit autistic. And when he's alone, he often goes into a weirdly peaceful state, so much so that he can sit on the sofa for five hours straight without doing anything.

Continue to bring strength and warmth to other people

The theme of the December issue [of Men's Uno] is 'unique style'. We also want to know how Jake cultivates his own style? "I think style is not something that you have a method for, or that you create consciously. It just happens in every decision in life. For example, I decide which clothes I'm going to wear today, or which breakfast I'll eat, what music to listen to. Every little decision like this creates a person's life style." Just like when you create a movie, he thinks that directors with style won't think about what that style is. They'll just make every decision according to their own taste, and string their movie together like that.

[Being asked about] a future challenging role and goal, Jake, after consideration, replied that he would really wants to play a lawyer. Why is that? He believes he is someone with clear expressions and trains of thoughts. "During the process of observing myself, I found that the way my brain operates is very organized, like a machine. This can hinder me when I create certain characters, but help me with characters that require logic. For example, I recently played a guest role as a prosecutor. It was incomparably easy for me speak of what the evidence pointed at in an orderly manner." 

But Jake also found out that emotionally outgoing roles are currently his weak point, "because my brain doesn't work like this, my rationality will be ahead of my emotions. So I'll be a little jammed. Intellectually I'll feel I don't need emotions to do things. Since I'm obviously able to solve things this way, why would I need to be outspoken? But currently I often accept roles with outspoken characters, so that's just as well for tempering my own [character].

At the end of the interview, we want to ask what Jake thinks is the happiest, most accomplished part of being an actor? "When someone gets strength from my work. I remember going to Taipei Film Fest one time. Getting out of Zhongshan Hall [an auditorium in Taipei] about to flag down a car, there was a boy running over to me clutching a slip of paper in his hand. Until now I still remember the contents of that piece of paper. It said 'thank you, Zishuo, [Jake's character in Close Your Eyes Before It's Dark] for allowing me to die, and at the same time be reborn.' After reading that note, I cried heavily in the square in front of Zhongshan Hall. I couldn't imagine that that was the strength I gave people, so that he felt he was reborn and was able to tell his story. That power, that continues to push me forward to be an actor, is that through my works I want to make this world a better place. I really believe this can happen. Being an artist is influential work. I hope to continue to bring strength and warmth to other people."

[365daysprocrastinating]

I think i've seen this film before... And I didn't like the ending.

Hello and welcome to my mind is so effed up I can't even understand myself. For today's episode we are gonna talk about how my mind has a sh*t ton of things happening all at once so now I can't find the words so I could get it out of my system nor know what I should do to fix it cause I have no idea where to start or what to do.

I know in myself that something is wrong with me. I have been drinking a lot and I have been doing things that I shouldn't be doing because that is borderline crazy and that at the end of the day, I will be the one who will suffer. Here I am, today in the verge of having mental breakdown because I did all those and now I have no idea what to do nor how to cope 😬

I am a mess. It has been a long ass weekend and I did not at least tried to clean up my room. The thought came in my head twice for like 2 seconds each. Never really push thru. I am still sleeping on top of my bed with my laundry under it.

I have been in this hell hole before. It was the hardest time of my life. I was in my worst and no one knew. I barely know myself, barely put things together, know nothing from the outside world. I am in the dark side of my mind and I hated every second of it. I just don't wanna get back to it. 😭

I can't remember when everything started, everything going downhill. One thing I remember is there's nothing that went right at least once beyond the day my life started being a living hell. My friends does make things a little better to still live tho.

I am not sure if my room is really just a depressing place to be but I really hate being here and I rather get out and see people (im a very socially anxious little bitch so u get it) than stay in this room... That I don't have the energy and will to clean. To be honest, any part of this house is despressing. I just want out. But I got no money so I'm staying. Lol.

And that's all the words I can produce in this (not so) fine evening. Goodnight.

[mifunebooty]

I think my other problem with YTs (YouTubers) is the fashion/feminist sphere is when it comes to EDs, they don't only affect young girls and women because they want to be "pretty." That could be a small factor underlying with the big factors like mental health, environment, or social conditioning by parents. It's missing the big picture to only blame it on Tumblr.

Thats my experience when i was in recovery and my body was trying to have an equilibrium, i really thought from a sense that i got an eating disorder because i was insecure of myself entering high school which i felt odd thinking was the answer bc i was basically at my most popular freshman year and i felt like a 14/15 year old should, i just felt a lot of shame with what i was hiding. I didn't really find it connected with my depression until the past year talking to my friends who also had depression or despressive episodes talk about them having an ed for awhile and we had a similar experience compared to whats been told about ed's to people overall. But my ed had nothing to do with tumblr nor even those posts were trending. Realistically they were all stupid and got brought down the next year. What i found most stupid with Mina discussing those ed aesthetics on tumblr is the way she framed it and mental illness overall on tumblr like we're all some clique telling each other to be sad and skinny. She somehow still frames itll happen again with people wanting to get back on tumblr which is quite ignorant of the overall look on having an eating disorder and depression. I know i have 20000 people who have blocked me my entire time ive been on Tumblr but ive loved my time here and nobody here has ever had an influence on how ive ever viewed myself, even with fandoms. I love Tumblr these past few years is actively encouraging its aesthetic to romanticize the simple life and encouraging each other to not feel bad for not wanting to do anything and encouraging each others view on food to enjoy it. I didn't see that in 2014, im not saying Tumblr or your social media needs to help your recovery but im glad theres a lot of those posts going around from my experience of having to love food again and having to look at my own two feet again. Again, the shit shes talking about is just so outdated and has NOTHING to do with ed's and people's view on their own mental illness and it was a video done in most poor taste to reduce Tumblr to a middle class white woman's pov.

[olivediamonds]

ooo!! What if Marnie ends up challenging Hop when he's in his lil despressive episode and she wins. This causes Hop to break down suddenly and Marnie ends up feeling awful and tries to comfort him, seeing as she's got an older brother with quite an important role too-

Hop bit his lip as he watched his inteleon fall to Marnie's morpeko. Marnie didn't notice her affect on Hop until she walked over to him.

"that was a close match, you almost had- Hop? What's wrong?"

Hop couldn't stop the tears falling as he quickly wiped them away. Ever since Hop lost to Gloria at the semi-finals, he has felt lost and didn't know what to do anymore now that his goal of beating his brother was destroyed.

"I don't know what to do anymore..."

She dug through her bag until she found her tissues and passed them to him.

"what do you mean? What's going on?"

Hop wiped his eyes and took a few deep calming breaths. He sat down on a nearby log which Marnie sits down on as well.

"ever since Gloria beat Lee, I've been feeling lost. I don't know where to go from here and I feel lost."

He looked over at Marnie with sad eyes.

"what about you? I thought your goal was to become champion too."

Marnie shook her head, picking up morpeko who was eating a dropped berry he found.

"I said it was but I only wanted the title to help out Spikemuth. I can still complete my goal by taking over the gym for my brother."

She looked over at Hop, giving him a small smile.

"I think your goal was more than just beating your brother, you just haven't realized it yet."

Hop was silent for a while, thinking about what she said. Finally he stood up, looking back at Marnie.

"thanks Marnie, I'll see you later."

"where are you going?"

He smiled lightly, thinking about the peaceful place in the slumbering weald where he and Gloria found the sword and shield of Zacian and Zamazenta.

"somewhere to think."

[writterings]

I JUST HAVE A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT PRINCE ZUKO OKAY

[violetren]

The White Rabbit Job is perhaps the shadiest episode of Leverage. Which is saying a lot considering how often the teams cons leave people doubting their reality and considering that The First contact Job happened.

For once they aren’t messing with the head of a criminal who is trying to rip people off out of greed. The mark for this episode is a good but broken guy who isn’t trying to hurt people, he’s just in a despressive spiral.

Everyone in the team doubts whether they should actually be trying the con at some point through the episode, even Nate seems to have reservations part way through and he was the one who insisted they could do it at the start.

There’s an air of discomfort around the episode and you know what? That’s what makes it a good episode in my eyes.

By this point they’ve done some insane stuff. They’ve stopped terrorists, they’ve stolen a law, they’ve ensured a new one gets made, they’ve “stolen” a whole damn country even if it was a small one.

But this job is the team finding their limit.

And it’s not even a technical limit. Well it sort of is, but at a level that a team as smart as the Leverage one could learn to adapt to. Better monitoring of the mark to make sure they don’t take stimulants. Making sure next time they had less of a deadline. Making sure that next time they know the marks history and motivations.

What they find is a more a moral limit. They know they could probably pull it off with one of their usual marks, and maybe even with another good person now that they have a better grasp on how it works and what they need to do. I just don’t think they would do it again. Not unless they were really and truly desperate or being coerced.

[booknerdphd]

Mental Health and Being a Grad Student

So. I'm going back to grad school after two years in the corporate workforce and I'm already getting signs that I need to work my issues out, preferably now rather than when I am in a different country away from my support system.

If you have issues reading about possible.eating disorder behaviours, despression and anxiety, please skip this post.

I did my MBA in 2015, graduating in 2017, straight out of undergrad. Till this time, I had been living at home, with my parents and brother. I was fine with moving out, never thought twice about it.

Keep in mind, this was just me moving across the country, not even me leaving the country.

For a while, it was okay but slowly and steadily I started sinking into this abyss of loneliness, anxiety and self hatred. Without an actual diagnosis, I'm uncomfortable saying I had a depressive episode, but as a former psych student, but the signs were all there.

I did all my school work, of course, but at the same time I had lost the motivation to actually exist. The combination of homesickness, feeling like I wasn't part of the overall group of my batch because I simply could not relate to them, and I felt like I was just gaining weight.

I found out in the break between my first and second terms that I have hypothyroidism, which only added my my perceived list of reasons to hate myself.

And so, over the next two terms, I fell into a cycle of punishing my body for what it was doing- I spent a solid two weeks eating nothing but a bowl of oatmeal a day, I spent another month just drinking buttermilk and nothing else. I'm fairly sure I spent at least three days in a week not eating a single meal.

My anxiety about doing well and being "perfect" and my general hatred for my body at the time pushed me further into a trap. My new medication did throw my hormones in whack but this behaviour and genuine belief that I was ugly, stupid, worthless was something that had been building up for a while.

I started getting better when my floor mates suddenly realised they had not seen me exit my room in a good few weeks and then took it upon themselves to pull me out of the room and slowly and surely pushed me towards becoming the person I used to be.

I'm not saying that I don't need therapy- I most definitely think I do and plan on taking it up once I go to Uni because I'm uncomfortable doing that here. But you can't go down the path of recovery without accepting you have an issue and understanding the behaviours that come with it.

Over the past two years, I can say I've gotten much better at dealing with the anxiety. The self doubt is something that is still there but it only pops up every now and then. The "depressive episodes", for the lack of a better term, have dwindled down as I learnt to accept myself a bit more. But that's not to say I don't get stressed out. I still forget to eat sometimes, and I need to constantly build it into my routine with other people to make myself eat. I still hate my body a lot but I'm working on it and try to find positives about it every day.

I know for a fact all of this may pop up again when I go for my PhD but I refuse to let it worry me now because I am so excited about this and I want to believe I've gotten better. I know the signs, and I have been actively trying to replace these behaviours while I am still at home. The imposter syndrome and the stress and anxiety will be there, but I need to learn to ask for help when I need it and will actively be reaching out to people this time around rather than slowly collecting dust in my bedroom.

Just thought I would put this out there for anyone who feels like this, because you're not alone. A lot of us go through it, and I would say you'll get over it but that's not necessarily the case. If you need help, reach out- whether it's to me on Tumblr, your friend's in real life, your professors or your therapist. If you feel it's getting serious, reach out to your therapist. If you feel like it's not an issue, reach out to your therapist. But also include the people who love you and care about you because they will try their best to help outside the therapy sessions.

Let yourself be loved. You are worth something. You are hard working and wonderful and beautiful and smart and you can take over the academic or professional world if you wanted to.

Never ever ever let yourself make you think you can't.

[rubixkun]

Can you name a game, movie or music genre no one would expect you to be a fan of?

Not sure about games...

I guess a surprising thing is the movie, Happy Gilmore is what can break me out of a bad despressive episode. It was on at work one day and for that hour and a half, all my problems were just nonexistent. 

I mean if someone didn’t know me, perhaps they’d be surprised that I’m a fan of metal? But someone who knows me knows I love anything with a Good guitar riff. 

[jean-and-ali-liveblogs]

Ali: My god!

THAT WAS SPECTACULAR! 

Definitely the best episode of the series so far. I am totally giving it 12/10, because 11/10 feels like too little.

We finally got the backstory on Homura and my, it was even worse than what I expected. But at the same time it had some lighter moments and some fun moments and the episode overall made me suffer less than previous ones, which I am putting down as a good thing. It was nice to finally get break from overwhelming amounts of pain.

Not to say that there wasn’t a lot of suffering in this episode, but... it felt like it had purpose? I mean, like... It wasn’t Sayaka loosing her sanity and becoming a witch out of despression and desperation. It didn’t feel as messed up as everything else.

This suffering felt like it had a purpose. Purpose of Homura jumping into things over and over again to save somebody she really cares about. Like we are not just suffering for the sake of suffering, but like if there is some end goal to it. Eh, I don’t know it that makes sense. 

Basically, I really liked this episode and first time in a long time I don’t feel like I need to go lie down and rest for a while after this. Well, another reason for that may be that I didn’t do it all in one go, who knows.

And we also got to find out that if Homura doesn’t succed, Madoka will destroy whole planet, which honestly didn’t make me feel or think all that much. It’s just another shitty thing they need to deal with and it’s not like if it ever really happen, because Homura will just go back in time everytime anyway. 

I did notice that Kyubey realized what she is doing by the end there, but I am still pretty sure his memories are not going over between runs, so I am not concerned. Although, I remember he was catching up on the situation in previous episode or maybe two episodes ago, so I worry he may become more active and cause more issues. Or maybe the more Homura will do this, the more people will realize that something is wrong?

Ali: Ah, you are all here now. That’s a lovely touch. And the intro song makes much more sense now. Homura should be the one singing it. 

[resiliencewithin]

Daily Gratitude

September 3 - Monday

I am grateful that I am a recovery warrior and managed to get my thoughts under control tonight.

September 4 - Tuesday

I am grateful for experience. For the confidence and calm that come years of tackling challenges and learning and growing. I got this shit.

September 5 - Wednesday

I am SO grateful for thee energy I had today. Don’t know where it came from but it as glorious. Productivity was my bitch!

September 6 - Thursday

I am grateful for the skill I’ve developed as an educator that I’m able to inspire all students into believing they are writers.

September 7 - Friday

I am grateful I took the time to be a lazy lump and recuperate from the week with a slew of baking shows.

I am grateful for generous co-workers who show up in the morning with coffee!

September 8 - Saturday

I am grateful I was able to get my ass out for a bike ride even with a headache.

I am grateful I was able to get some house cleaning done before my mental illness flared up.

September 9 - Sunday

Coffee. I am so grateful for the comfort of a warm cup of coffee.

I am grateful that I was able to turn my despressive episode around to neutral.

I am soooooo grateful for my comfy bed.

September 10 - Monday

I am grateful for my husband. Thoughtful. Loving. My rock.

September 11 - Tuesday

I am grateful I am taking care of myself by making sure I get a lot of sleep.

September 12 - Wednesday

I am grateful that I felt mentall strong and positive today. It’s been rough lately so I will value this day.

September 13 - Thursday

I am grateful I was able to be patient with myself and with my students.

September 14 - Friday

I am grateful for good TV. Reeeeaaaaaaly enjoying The Fall.

September 15 - Saturday

I am grateful for cuddles. Snuggles. No matter how stupid both of those words sound. Lol

September 16 - Sunday

I am grateful for my work team for being consistently awesome in so many ways.

September 17 - Monday

I am grateful for a good day. A mentally well day. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but I will cherish today.

September 18 - Tuesday

I am grateful for two good days in a row. Thank you brain.

September 19 - Wednesday

I am grateful for the fact that I’ve been able to cut back in some bad habits.

September 20 - Thursday

I am grateful that I have managed to eat more healthily and cut back portions.

September 21 - Friday

I am grateful for my family

September 24 - Monday

I am grateful I took the day off to help my body fight off this cold. It was what my body needed most.

September 25 - Tuesday

I am grateful for making it through the day. A day that seemed impossible. But I made it!

September 26 - Wednesday

I am grateful for the people in my life who support me in coping with my mental illness. Today, particularly those people who have never even met me.

September 27 - Thursday

I am grateful for a moment today that brought perspective to my work and shifted my focus back where it needs to be.

September 28 - Friday

I am grateful I survived an incredibly hard work week mentally intact.

September 29 - Saturday

I am grateful for my husband who treated me to brunch this morning and helped us reconnect after a tough week.

September 30 - Sunday

I am grateful for my ability to survive.

What are you grateful for today?

Drop me a note!

[seddm]

Headcanon: Daron is secretly Eclipsa who feeds on our sadness and despression and the fandom's conflicts and uses it to get out of the crystal. She still needs a lot of power and this is why the episodes are heartbreaking.

Unfortunately Lord Daron has been free to do what she wants for a long time now, with no crystals to hold her...

[ashleighxo]

My apathy isn’t getting better. I’m on autopilot. I’m contemplating if I even deserve being alive sometimes, here I am woth the gift of life yet I find things wrong. I complain. I’m sad. I’m checked out. I’m this. I’m that. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I go to work and I come home. When I’m not at work I’m asleep. And I find time in between those two things to eat every unhealthy thing you can imagine to only feel completely fucking disgusting afterwards. I need a fresh start. The stagnancy has taken me over. Everything is stale. The air. My sheets. I just need to get out. But nothing feels the same anymore. I have just become more of a paranoid mess. I can ever talk to my friends again because I’m a completely different person now they probably wouldn’t recognize. It’s probably who I’ve always been to a degree. I feel like no matter what I would say to any of them now would be a boring conversation because what do I have to talk about other than the sad girl despressed freak shit. Yeah I’ve been going through a depressive episode for basically a month? But yes please lets chat. I’m just very lonely. I sleep to put off thinking. I look at myself and don’t recognize what I see. People ask me things and I nod.

[sketchesandnonesense]

those are signs of depression friend

yeeeeeup

i told my doctor I might be despressed, or it might be bipolar because of how out of control my depressive episodes are before I’ll just suddenly feel Nothing n feel completely removed from what Just Happened n i’ll wonder if I’m just faking my mental illness for attention and then I’ll have my really good days when i wonder what i was even being so upset about

and then another depressive episode hits or i get a really bad anxiety attack n back down i go

and my shitty little dead-end sub shop job sure ain’t helpin’ but it’s my only option atm lmao

but my doc said “i don’t think you’re bipolar” n made me get some blood drawn so they’d run some tests

apparently i have something up with my thyroid so they gave me meds for that n told me it’d help with my depressive episodes and my weight

lmao guess who’s still a depressed fatass??

i need anitdepressants or Something b u t i’m too anxious to call a doctor for Any Reason so unless one of my parents sees how bad a toll it’s taking on me and decides to take things into their own hands or unless i have one hell of a Good Day n feel like planning for when i self destruct again, i’m probs not gonna get the help i need

im stuck i guess

unless i make a suicide attempt or self harm but i’m too scared to do anything like that

that’s just begging for attention which is Bad obviously so i can’t do that 

so

I guess I’m stuck 

and all people will probably thing is that I’m lazy, overly dramatic, and overall worthless

[voidflaw]

tfw youre having a Void Time bc youve made ppl think less of u by being like, unnecessarily [something] and it’s Bad and u dont want them to dislike u but theyre good and ur bad but also ur just??? Void