Simon says 🎲
7. A romantic kiss.
"So, what's this new form supposed to be?"
Hank blinks, and turns from where he's laying on the Avengers Mansion roof. It's newly completed, and he swears he's just stress testing it, but really he just wanted a moment of respite from the party going on downstairs. It was, as with all things Janet van Dyne, simultaneously very chic, very stylish, and yet all together too much - an excellent time, to be sure, but exhausting.
Hank's spent a lot of the last few years feeling exhausted, if he's honest. Which . . . well. Given the company he's currently keeping, it's hard not to be.
Honest, that is. He was never too exhausted for Simon.
"Simon! I hope I haven't drawn you away from the festivities - there's really no need to concern yourself, I just needed a breath of fresh air."
He's just hovering there, as beautiful as the day Hank first laid eyes on him. Why wouldn't he be? He's ionic. A collection of atoms and molecules so completely and utterly distinct that to call him a Wonder Man is both an absolutely correct appellation and the world's worst misnomer. He'll outlast them all - Hank knows that as surely as he knows the warped, frayed edges of his own genome. They've both been utterly transformed, but while Hank's only made himself look less and less human, Simon just . . . persists. Forever beautiful.
Electrically charged atoms, clustered so tightly and so densely that they form wisps of purple, surround him, and if Hank were feeling more himself, he might tease that there's a charge in the air tonight. Instead, he just smiles. He finds it hard to stop himself from smiling at Simon. He probably looks drunk. He has been drinking a little.
But if Simon thinks so, he doesn't say or show it. Instead, he floats like the proverbial cloud so that he's hovering right above and to the left of Hank, carefully setting himself down by his old buddy, his old pal. A less knowledgeable Simon scholar might think that he'd be easier to read if only he would take off those glasses, but Hank's well aware that if he did, there'd only be the red.
And he's never needed to see his eyes to read Simon.
"Jan's in fine form tonight."
Hank laughs, and immediately the tension he didn't quite realise he was feeling unfurls like a jolly caterpillar. "Isn't she just? I seem to recall the Professor doing something similar, years ago, back after Genosha. A rush of activity, a burst of energy, as if to prove it wasn't all for nothing, that life goes on. Granted, I think we're in a damned better place than we were back then."
Were they? Hank's not so sure. He's teaching at Harvard now, which wouldn't have happened 10 years ago. He knows that from personal, lived experience - after his second successful application to the school, one of the custodians had seen fit to give him his old red maroon suit jacket he'd thrown on the floor of the Dean's office in a fit of pique when his first application had been denied. But for everyone else, well . . .
"Yeah. Yeah, I think we are, actually."
"Optimism, Simon? Your wonders never cease."
Simon sees the punchline coming a mile away, walks into it. They laugh. This is comfortable, isn't it? This is nice.
"I think . . . I think Wanda and I finally broke it off, today. We talked, at the park, and it . . . well, there's more to talk about. But it felt pretty definitive."
Ah. So, that's why Wanda had hugged Hank when she'd seen him.
"I'm truly sorry to hear that. You were good for one another."
Simon snorts. It's a strange noise to hear out of that movie star mouth and filtered through the '40s Transatlantic accent that he always seems to settle on, and it makes Hank start a little.
"No we weren't. She wasn't what I needed, and I wasn't what she wanted. Never has been, and I never have been."
Good use of tenses, Simon. It was all Hank could think as he looks at the other man, rubbing his thumbs together.
". . . Well. Regardless. I always thought you were at least nice together."
"Is that why you turned up on that date all those years back wearing my old safari jacket? Because Wanda and I were nice together?"
Jesus Christ, Simon, go for my damn well jugular, why don't you?! Hank sat up at that, looking momentarily offended, utterly confused, absolutely bamboozled. Now Simon really is unreadable, just sitting there, staring at him. It says a lot about the both of them and the way they've left things, the way they've been skirting around each other's edges, that they both know exactly what Simon's talking about, despite it being one dumb date night Hank had crashed over a decade ago that most people would have just let fade into the annals of forgettable fun.
Well, now. Where in the nine rings of Hell did he go from here?
"It's, ah. It's a combination of a few different simian species - macaque, gorilla, ape, etcetera. The form. My new form. Since you asked. It's a little chimeric, if you want to know the genetic details. It retained my yellow eyes, from my feline mutation, however, I'm not quite sure why."
Simon just looks at him. Hank's answered the question, but not the question.
"It was - funny. I was being funny."
"Like Bugs Bunny."
"Precisely! Precisely like Bugs Bunny."
Simon sighs.
"Look, I know you may have spent a good amount of time dead, Simon, but I know when you were born and I know for fact that you know enough about Bugs Bunny to know that Bugs is - is - "
Where was he going with this?
"Oh, whatever . . ."
He turns away, starting to think that maybe he should head back inside. But . . . that would mean away from Simon, even if that's the reason he thinks maybe he should head back inside. His ears twitch as he hears plastic and metal and glass move, and he realises that Simon's taken off his glasses. The thought doesn't really phase him. All he'd see is the red. And, don't get him wrong, he likes the red, it's a reminder that he's not alone in possessing a body so utterly transformed that the windows to the shreds of his soul are tinted, but, not right now.
"Hank."
Oh, all right, fine, he supposes he'll look at his movie star friend a bit more.
He turns back, and starts a little. Again. How is it that Simon's getting the drop on him so many times tonight? Wasn't that supposed to be his gimmick? But then again, he's one of the few people who knows what it means to glance back at Simon and see his real eyes - or, maybe it was better to say his other eyes. That means he's concentrating, holding back that crackle that usually just comes spilling out of him. That's something he usually only does when he has to do a close-up, or if . . .
If there's something he wants to say but he can't quite say.
What is it that Simon wants to say?
Well.
Quite by instinct, Hank finds himself leaning back towards Simon, and . . . well, yes, that is his hand cupping his jaw a little, and well, maybe that is the tips of his fingers stroking at the immaculately trimmed sideburns that he's certain Simon's had for nigh on 30 years now. And maybe that is his thumb, feeling the cold skin of his best friend's cheek.
It's December in New York, and everyone in the city is cold except for Hank McCoy. It's always the way of things. He's always just that mite uncomfortable every time it's vaguely warm, but touching Simon like that, well . . . it's just nice. Funny, isn't it? Hank's got enough letters after his name to fill several alphabets, but he can't think of a word better than nice right now. It simply is nice. He's cool to the touch. Their temperatures reach a natural equilibrium. He's certain that means something, but what, well . . . it's . . . hard. Don't ask him right now. He's busy.
Busy kissing Simon Williams.
He knows what the man tastes like, of course (oh, hush). He's kissed him before. Bugs Bunny, like he said. But this is . . . undeniably something different. There's a difference between a big, loud, lip smacky, comedy kiss, and . . . this. This, touch, this, embrace, this, this. Hank's kissed a lot of people before, been frankly something of a slut in his time, but this is . . . more, than that. This is . . . charged. The fur on the back of his hand stands on delighted end as he spends just a little more time just, kissing, his best friend, and he can feel the ionic charge rippling along his fur. It's, good. Better than good.
Wonderful, actually.
He opens his eyes, and he realises that Simon's let the crackle flow back out. He's staring into red, pulsating energy again. It's like staring into a supernova, imperious and cold in its power. And he knows his own body well enough to know that Simon's staring into a star of his own, golden yellow, warm and knowing. If he'll allow his inner poet to escape him for a moment, something a little celestial is happening, he thinks.
That's - all, he thinks, actually. His mind's gone a little bit blank. His lips are still tingling with ionic charge as Simon looks at him, clearly expecting him to say something. First thing to come to mind, go.
". . . Better than Bugs Bunny?"
Simon laughs.
"Yeah, better than Bugs Bunny, you goof."
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emoji writing prompts
(inspired by this post)
96 prompts up to your interpretation. take literally, reverse, mix and match! (works well with taking ask suggestions, using random number generators, or rolling dice)
1-6 genre or tone:
🥰 fluff
💔 angst | sad ending | angst with a happy ending
🔞 smut | explicit | suggestive
🔍 mystery
🎃 spooky | horror
😎 crack | humor | meme inspired
+ 1-90 prompts:
🌸 hanahaki | pining | mutual pining
⌛ time travel | reincarnation | time loop | time is running out | immortality | time hijinks | this time they will do it right (do they?)
✉ epistolary | chat fic | letters | postservice au
🧙♂️ magic | urban magic | fantasy | be careful what you wish for
☕ coffee shop | restaurant | food industry
🩹 hurt/comfort | fix-it fic
💭 mind-melt | mind-reading | telepathy
🏳🌈 queer | queerer | unique queer experience relevant to exactly one person
🌊 merfolk au | stranded on an abandoned island | pirates
🍀 everything goes right | luck doesn't exist but somebody really does make it seem like it does
🥀 unrequited love | dealing with loss | grief
📆 slice of life
📦 delivery | package sent to the wrong address | swapped luggage/suitcase | there's some kind of mix-up happening | move in
🎬 celebrity | actor | PR hell | youtuber | streamer au
💻 internet | social media | bloggers | fandom au | two customers with radically different reviews on a product and they take it personally
🔪 revenge | murder | assassin
📞 wrong number | wrong address | wrong person | customer service | tech support | long distance
🩺 doctor | sick fic
⚽ sports | team | competition | challenge | dare
💍 engagement | marriage | arranged marriage | marriage of convenience | accidentally married | poorly-timed proposal
💋 first kiss | first relationship | first romantic experience | teaching one another how to Romance
👑 royalty | nobility | servant | butler | unequal power dynamic | undying loyalty
🎨 any artist au
🎁 gifts | surprise | keepsake | christmas | holiday | birthday
🤰 pregnancy | mpreg | alternative offspring acquisition options
👶 baby | kidfic | de-aged | age regression | accidental kid acquisition | single parent(s)
👥 resurrection | came back wrong | dark alternate character | came back right but everything else is changed
🦋 butterfly effect - change a seemingly insignificant detail in source material and write how it affects the story
🐾 pet au | animal transformation | pet acquisition | animal-to-human transformation | object-to-human transformation | object-to-animal transformation (you get the drift)
👻 ghost | afterlife | paranormal | supernatural | modern supernatural | mixed supernatural genes
😈 demon | a different kind of hell | pact | soul as acceptable transaction payment | the villain's in charge now
🤡 idiots in love | platonic buffoons | only one brain cell among them | they're so stupid
🏳️ surrender | hope | bargaining
❔ oblivious | didn't know they were dating | mistaken identity | amnesia | nobody remembers them
🛡️ protect | guardian | bodyguard | rescue
💼 office | workplace
✂️ separation, chosen or forced | abandoned | cutting ties
🎓 school | university | academic professions | mentor
🏠 domestic | roommates | neighbours
🧩 soulmates (ideas) | platonic soulmates | destined to be enemies | 3+ soulmates
🏖️ beach episode | change of scenery | more than 'a lot' self-indulgent
🏩 pwp | escort | sex worker | stripper | sugar relationship
🤝 found family | putting differences aside to work together
🧬 appearance/body/behaviour modification | shrunk down | made bigger
💾 found a lost disc/usb drive/notebook/diary | lost phone | decades-old journal/letters found among the belongings of a person who's no longer there
⚖️ getting justice, one way or another | rebellion | protest | doing the dirty work so others can thrive | balance | lawyers au
⚙️ android | futuristic | science fiction | physical workers | making it work
👁 obsession | abduction | kept captive | hostage | stalker | drugged | private detective au
⚠️ make it as messed up as you want | forbidden | taboo
🕳️ something is missing | unsettling | out of the corner of the eye | nearly, almost, not quite | not enough
🤞 must pretend | spy | secret identity | identity reveal | undercover | fake dating | secret relationship | fake-married | fake [insert role] | essentially, they must pretend to be somebody they're not/to be in a dynamic they're not
✨ under a spell | truth compulsion | forced to say the opposite of what they mean | a curse made them do x
🐌 slowburn | sped-up slow burn | over the years
🧸 childhood friends (to a dynamic of choice) | separated in childhood, reunited in adulthood
⚔ enemies (to a dynamic of choice) | meddling enemies | rivals (to a dynamic of choice)
🔁 transmigration | isekai | swapped places | role reversal | body swap
🔀 crossover | fusion | characters from X piece of media put in the world of the last piece of media you've enjoyed | make it your favourite piece of media from your childhood
⁉ miscommunication | misunderstanding | wrong place, wrong time
🔆 harem | reverse harem | poly relationship
🛏 bedsharing | accidentally falling asleep on one another | passing out | dream-sharing | invite to stay over
🔮 fairytale | mythology | folklore | legend | prophecy
😶 love triangle | two-person relationship/love triangle (they know each other as two people) | one-night stand turns out to be the new boss/professor/awkward dynamic
🔒 forced proximity | locked in a room | trapped together | handcuffed together | snowed in
🤲 huddling for warmth | sharing body heat | touch starved
💬 rumours | lies | misconceptions and dealing with them
💥 set off the (conflict) bomb | right before the blow-up | argument | fight | pranks
✊ superheroes and supervillains | superpowers | the chosen one(s) | deemed to be the cursed/unlucky one
🔥 rebirth | sacrifice | sacrifice of something other than their life | destruction | letting go | ritual | change
💁♀️ spite fic (write literally anything you like that fandom/somebody else complained about that you disagree with) aka "they're wrong and i'm going to keep having fun"
#️⃣ love at second/third/nth sight | meet ugly | annoyed at first sight | reluctant
🖤 blind date goes right | blind date goes wrong | stood up | matchmaker
🚗 travelling together | commute | road trip | hitchiking
❕ confession | interrupted confession | confessing when it doesn't matter anymore
🚫 getting what they want but not in the way they want it | not like this
🖊 doomed from the start | it was always going to end like this | it didn't have to end this way
🐱👤 did a crime on accident | did a crime very much not on accident
👭 doppelgangers, lookalikes | twins | they meet their alternate self from an alternate word/different time
👂 as they go through their day, they hear a voice and it's strangely familiar (oh no) | the voice in their head actually has their best interest in mind | two souls trapped in one body fighting for control
❌ the plot is trying to incite an event for them but they refuse to have any part in it and they will outrun it
🍸 alcohol/substance use | in vino veritas | choices were made and all that's left is regrets | choices were made and there are some gains actually | remembers nothing of what they did while drunk (others may be kind enough to spare no detail)
👍 support group | dealing with issues | compromise
82. 👪 meet the family | meet the friends
83. 💰 CEO | rich x ordinary | two different worlds collide
84. 🌠 rarepair! | rarer! | unlikely friends
85. ⚡ The Realisation | oh moment | oh no moment | learning something crucial yet horrifying they wish they could forget | the antagonist was right after all
86. 0️⃣ last day alive | apocalypse | they truly only have each other left
87. ✔ it was somebody's plan all along | they sure were aware the whole time it was somebody's plan all along | scheme | trap | gotcha | test
88. 🎲 choose an action for character to take and roll d20 - that's how well it goes, write it
89. ➕ anything at all inspired by an emoji not from this list sent in an ask or randomly generated
90. ® get a string of 3+ random emojis from an emoji generator (e.g. this one or this one or any other) and write a story based on them
if you're disappointed that a prompt you wanted to find isn't on the list, take it as a sign to write it 👀
and if none of these spark creativity, check out Hatch's Plot Bank with 2300+ plot ideas
screenshots of the emojis under the cut
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you're the pink in my cheeks (i'm a little bit soft)
summary: "and i know we'll never grow old together / cause you'll never grow old to me / you're the pink in my cheeks / and i love that it means i'm a little bit soft / you're the pink in my cheeks / and i love that it means i'm a little bit soft"
- "monster," marceline (adventure time)
(OR: 5.4k of soft domestic lesbian!analogical, featuring lesbian!moceit, trans male!remus, trans female!roman, and Gay Shenanigans)
a/n: huge thank you to dandie for beta'ing this fic!
i just wanted to write wlw is that so wrong of me? no. no it is not.
CW: alcohol mentions, a few sex jokes, swearing, one implied instance of potential sexual activity (although it doesn't go any farther than making out; if you want to skip that part, skip the section that starts with "Did you get the right kind of popcorn?")
word count: ~5.4k
read it on ao3!!
“I think I may be going insane,” Logan says, squinting at her laptop screen. Virginia, hanging upside-down in the armchair, looks up from her phone and blinks.
“And why is that?”
“Because I am starting to agree with Rosie’s anti-Florida agenda.”
“I didn’t realize that there was an anti-Florida agenda.”
“Rosie has one, and I have always thought it facetious. However, if this laboratory does not start sending me my requested samples and information in a timely manner, I will be forced to concede that Rosie may have . . . a point.”
“You, agreeing with a lit major? I never thought I’d see the day,” Virginia teases. Logan initially resists the urge to stick her tongue out or flip Virginia off, because that would be childish, but then she remembers that Virginia does not care about her childishness, so she sticks her tongue out. Virginia snorts with laughter, and Logan feels warm, fizzy pop-rocks bursting in her chest.
Her phone buzzes next to her, and she picks it up. There’s a new message blinking for her attention on the screen.
[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
a, b, or c
[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
. . . What?
[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
*rolls eyes*
[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
i need you to make a selection, logan. a, b, or c.
[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
I am confused. What am I selecting between?
[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
wouldn’t you like to know, weather boy
[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
Yes. I would like to know. That is why I asked you.
[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
Also, I am not a meteorologist. Or a boy.
[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
it’s a meme, i’m sure v will be happy to show you the og. but first: make a choice
[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
Option B, I suppose?
[from: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
vodka it is!
[to: snesbian (snake lesbian)]
Wait, what?
Her phone buzzes again, another text thread lighting up, and Logan abandons the now-fruitless conversation with Jan to see that her wife has texted.
[from: soda poppy]
y is jan fillin a thermos with vodka and sayin u gave her the go ahead? >:(
[to: soda poppy]
I am unsure. She texted me asking me to make a choice between “a, b, and c” with no context given. When I eventually selected “b,” she excitedly mentioned vodka and logged off.
[from: soda poppy]
her an remy r going 2 a pta meeting tonight an i guess they’re goin drunk
[to: soda poppy]
Is that a . . . normal occurrence?
[from: soda poppy]
sadly yeah
[to: soda poppy]
Wait, is she even allowed to attend PTA meetings? You two don’t have any children?
[from: soda poppy]
she’s on the school board so she has the right 2 attend. idk if she’s supposed to or not but its never stopped her b4
“Everythin’ good over there?” Virginia asks.
“I believe I may have just enabled Jan to attend a PTA meeting drunk.” Virginia snorts, swiping at her phone.
“Good for her, honestly. The only reason she and Poppy live in that neighborhood is so that Jan can flaunt her wife in front of all the capital-s Straight people, because she’s a petty fuckin’ bitch.”
“That is a strange word choice for your best friend.”
“I hate Jan, she’s a bitch,” Virginia says, smirking fondly at her phone. Logan knows her girlfriend well enough to know that this statement is disingenuous, so she stands up, stretching her arms above her head, and leans down to drop a kiss onto Virginia’s forehead.
*~*~*~*~*
Logan blinks awake slowly, feeling for the position of her limbs. She’s on her left side, left arm tucked up under her pillow to cradle her head, wrapped in the thick comforter of their bed. Her right arm is slung across Virginia’s body, and her girlfriend is pressed up against her, head tucked right under Logan’s chin and face nestled into her neck and chest. Virginia breathes, slow and deep and even, and Logan hums, huffing out a soft exhale.
She carefully wiggles out of bed, tucking the comforter around Virginia’s curled-up form. Virginia grumbles when the cool morning air slips against her skin, because she is a foolish woman who insists upon sleeping in short shorts and a spaghetti-strap tank top no matter the current weather patterns. Logan wraps her up, making sure that she’s shifted into the middle of the warm divot of body heat, and Virginia settles in, asleep again in a heartbeat.
Logan turns to the corner chair, where her early-morning outfit is already laid out: athletic leggings, a sports bra, a moisture-wicking quarter zip jacket. She changes quietly, lights off, and tugs on a pair of ankle socks before slinking into the bathroom. Once the door is shut, she flicks on the soft lights over the vanity and carefully undoes her sleep braid. Normally, Virginia does Logan’s hair, because Logan is not good at dealing with her wavy, tangled, curly mess, but she won’t wake up her girlfriend for that. She can, at bare minimum, pull her hair up into a high ponytail for running purposes.
They live in a small town only a short walk (and even shorter bike ride) from the beach, full of little two-story brightly-colored beach cottages. Logan steps off her front porch, pulls out her phone, and quickly shoots a text.
[to: ginny <3]
I am headed to the beach for my weekly run. I will likely return before you wake up, but in case I do not: I will be back before 9 AM.
[to: ginny <3]
I love you <3
Logan kicks up the kickstand on her bike, runs her fingers over the glossy dark-blue paint flecked with white and silver and gold to mimic stars, and swings one leg over the bike seat. She carefully pedals out into the narrow road and heads for the beach. The cool early-morning air whips past her face, and she chances a glance up at the dark-blue-turning-light-blue-grey sky and smiles.
She’s always been an early-morning morning person, anyway.
*~*~*~*~*
Logan’s sneakers dig into the hard-packed wet sand along the water’s edge as she runs. Seagulls scatter in front of her, and the podcast Virginia recommended hums in her ear. The sun creeps up, up, up onto the horizon, coloring the blue-grey into streaks of brilliant pink and orange and gold, light reflecting off the water in resplendent diamond sparkles.
Logan runs half a mile down the beach, turns around, runs back to where she started and then runs half a mile in the other direction before turning around and running back to her starting point. By the time she’s bent over, hands on her knees, huffing out breath while her legs burn pleasantly, the sun has emerged fully from the ocean, and Logan is beginning to wish she had worn a visor.
She takes a moment to appreciate the sensory experiences of being on a nearly-abandoned beach: the scent of salt water, the sound of waves crashing against sand, the errant cries of gulls squabbling over fish. Their little beach is not nearly pristine enough for a tourist attraction, and too far north along the Atlantic coast to be warm year-round. Still, Logan loves it, and cannot imagine living anywhere else.
She hunts along the water’s edge as she walks, briefly, a cool-down before the bike ride home. She finds a few things worth photographing, a few crabs to shoo back into the ocean, and a few things worth gathering: an intact clam shell whose smooth curve runs unbroken from the heel of her palm to the tip of her index finger when she lays it flat in her hand, a light gray rock worn smooth by the waves that turns dark-gray-almost-black when wet, a small spiral shell that she thinks may have broken off of the top of a snail shell. Logan wraps all three things carefully in a small handkerchief from the little bag she keeps in her bike basket, pulling out her phone to note the time (8:37 AM) and the message notification flashing at her.
[from: ginny<3]
dunno why you insist on being a morning person. stop by the dunkin on your way back and get us breakfast?
[to: ginny<3]
You had Dunkin for breakfast three times this week. You should consume something healthy.
[from: ginny <3]
>:( >:( >:( >:(
[from: ginny <3]
counterpoint: you bringing me dunkin is better than me not eating breakfast at all. which is the alternative because i do not want to get up and prepare anything
[to: ginny <3]
Your womanly wiles will not work on me in regards to Dunkin breakfast.
[from: ginny <3]
bitch (affectionate)
[to: ginny <3]
Would you like me to make you breakfast on my return, beloved?
[from: ginny <3]
. . .
[from: ginny <3]
will you make me an omelette? with all the cheesy goo an shit?
[to: ginny <3]
I will make you an omelette with some degree of “cheese goo.”
Logan slides her phone into her pocket, huffing out a laugh at her girlfriend’s behavior, and hops onto her bike again.
*~*~*~*~*
“Your omelettes are always so much better than mine,” Virginia says, moaning as she sinks her teeth into an enormous bite of egg and cheese. Logan, calmly dicing bell peppers to mix into her own omelette, smiles.
“All food tastes better when it is prepared by someone who is not you.”
“You’ve clearly never had anything the twins have cooked.” Virginia takes another bite, pops a multivitamin into her mouth, and chases it down with a gulp of milk. “Besides, it tastes better because you made it.”
“I am not the most accomplished chef in the world, certainly, but I am glad you enjoy my cooking.”
Virginia laughs softly. “Lo, I like your food because it’s prepared by someone who loves me. I can taste the love in everything you make for me.”
Logan turns back to her peppers to hide her blush. “Love is not a measurable ingredient when cooking.” Virginia laughs again, louder this time; when Logan sets the knife down, she hears Virginia’s chair scrape out behind her as she stands, feels her arms wrap around her waist, feels the cool skin of her face press into her neck.
“Love you.”
*~*~*~*~*
“Stressful day at work?” Logan asks, hearing the door slam.
Virginia kicks off her flats, sending them flying into the wall with a clatter. Logan sets down her crochet project and moves toward the entrance of their house, where Virginia is shrugging off her rainjacket to reveal a mint-green Peter Pan-collared blouse and dark gray dress pants. “The stressiest.”
Logan takes the jacket and shakes it out on the tiled entranceway before hanging it on the hook. “I am sorry, beloved.”
“Lots of assessments, lots of parents who don’t understand why I’m assessing their kid, lots of parents insisting that there’s nothing wrong with their kid, or that there’s no way their kid could possibly have the deficits that I’m seeing. Like, I wouldn’t make this shit up, you know? Literally, let me help your child. You came to me, remember? I’m not in the habit of imposing myself onto people.”
“That sounds very stressful,” Logan says. She tries to picture a life where she spends all her time interacting with people she doesn’t know on a regular basis instead of her little corner of the university biochemistry lab where she only has to interact with three or four known people and her immediate supervisor, mostly by email. It sends icy fingers skittering down her spine.
“It is, I hate it. I mean, Kitty’s my supervisor until I get my C’s, so if I have problems I can consult with her, but like . . . why are people the way that they are.”
Logan stretches up and presses a gentle kiss to Virginia’s cheek. “I love you, Ginny.”
Virginia exhales and folds herself around Logan, draping her body over her girlfriend and going limp and boneless. “I don’t wanna be a real person for the rest of the night.”
“That can be arranged.”
“But it’s my night to make dinner.”
“I do not mind switching and having you make dinner tomorrow,” Logan says. “This is an acceptable deviation from the routine.” Virginia pushes her face into Logan’s neck, and Logan nuzzles the side of her head, and she sighs like the entire world has lifted off her chest.
*~*~*~*~*
(This is how it starts:
Logan, taking a class on British literature in her sophomore year because she needs to meet her core requirements. Logan, meeting Rosie, disagreeing with her on almost every single point she raises in class, hating when they’re paired up for their midterm project but earning the best grade in the class overall. Logan, seeing a text from Rosie about how her housemate needs people to participate in a research study for extra credit. Logan, making the long trek down to the health sciences building and seeing Virginia for the first time, thinking that she’s pretty and not knowing that she’ll be thinking that for the rest of her life.)
*~*~*~*~*
“Hello, gorgeous,” Virginia hums.
“Are you talking to me or to the mint plant?” Logan says, aggressively stabbing her pointer finger against the Delete key. It clacks loudly, and she mutters an insult under her breath. “I am going to set myself on fire. I swear to god, I am.”
“Obviously the mint plant,” Virginia says, turning and dropping a kiss on Logan’s head. “You okay, honey?” Logan grumbles more and shoves the laptop away from her with a disgruntled noise. Virginia moves the laptop away and leans over to kiss her forehead.
“I am trying to politely word an email whose essence boils down to, ‘If you do not send me my fucking samples in a timely manner, I am going to be forced to commit an Atrocity the likes of which this earth has never seen’,” Logan says.
Virginia laughs so hard that she sits down on the tiled kitchen floor, wiping tears from her eyes. “You are so funny,” she wheezes. Logan feels her irritation fade a little under the brightness of her girlfriend’s joy. “Let me see the email, I’m good at professional bullshitting.”
*~*~*~*~*
“Braid my hair!” Rosie says, throwing herself down onto the couch. Logan lifts her laptop up just in time to keep Rosie’s head from slamming into the keyboard.
“Ginny is your best bet for braids, Rosie. I have limited experience.”
“It doesn’t have to be fancy, It just has to be off my neck.”
Logan saves her document and sets her laptop on the coffee table, poking at Rosie’s ribs until she slides onto the floor and settles cross-legged between Logan’s thighs. “A comb and some hair-ties would be appreciated.”
“REMUS!” Rosie shouts.
“WHAT?”
“BRING ME A BRUSH AND SOME HAIR BANDS!”
“GET YOUR OWN!”
“I’m going to kill that man,” Rosie mutters, rolling to her feet. There are suspicious muffled thumping noises from the other room for a few minutes before Rosie emerges, victorious, hair somehow even messier than it was in the first place.
“You are the single loudest person I have ever met,” Logan sighs, taking the comb and the hair ties and beginning to drag it through Rosie’s curls. Rosie winces, just a little, at the pull of the comb, and Logan tries to be more gentle.
“Thank you!”
“I did not say that was a compliment.
“Hey!”
*~*~*~*~*
Logan tugs her sweatshirt sleeves down from where she’d rolled them up previously, shivering a little. Part of her wishes that she had worn leggings instead of capris as she drags the folding chair a little closer to the bonfire, toes dragging through the still-sun-warmed sand. The speaker set up on the food table blasts some sort of current pop music, and Rosie and Poppy dance around each other, chanting the lyrics at each other. They are both very loud and very off-key and, Logan suspects, fairly drunk as well. Remus is in the ocean (definitely buzzed, potentially naked) and Jan is standing at the edge of the ocean, watching to make sure he stays alive.
“Hey,” someone says, low and rumbling in her ear. Logan does not flinch (just barely) and turns to see Virginia, holding a plastic cup with a poorly-drawn sketch of the state of Virginia on it. Her hair is starting to come loose from its messy bun, and her sweater sleeves keep sliding down over her wrists and nearly dunking into her drink, and her breath smells sweet and alcoholic. When she lifts her hand to Logan’s cheek, her fingers are cool, and Logan shivers.
“How’s my girl?” Virginia asks.
“Cold,” Logan answers honestly. Virginia laughs, tipping her head back and exposing the long strip of her neck. Logan wants to lick it.
“You’re adorable,” Virginia says, leaning in and pressing her mouth against Logan’s ear. Her breath is warm and slightly damp. “So pretty, my Logan, and so smart. I bet you know exactly what chemical compounds are making the flames turn that color, hmmm?”
Logan can feel her face burning hotter than the bonfire, but Virginia just sits languidly in her lap, feet propped up on the armrest. Her toes are painted pale purple, and the glitter sparkles in the firelight.
“How many drinks have you had?” Logan asks.
“Enough to feel all tingly,” Virginia says, swirling whatever’s in her cup. “How many have you had?”
“None,” Logan answers honestly. Virginia leans her head against Logan’s shoulder, and her wispy frizz tickled Logan’s nose. She sneezes, and Virginia giggles in the high-pitched, superficial way she only giggles when she gets really, really drunk.
“You sound so cute when you sneeze.”
“I do not.”
“Of course you do,” and now Virginia is looking at her, eyes glowing warm in the firelight. “You sound cute when you do anything. You’re cute when you exist. You’re cute no matter what. I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone.”
Logan hates the taste of alcohol, but she leans in and kisses Virginia anyway.
*~*~*~*~*
“Lo.”
“Hmmm?”
“Pick a color.”
“What?”
“I’m painting my toes again. Pick a color for me.”
Logan flops over onto her stomach, staring at the neat row of creme polishes sitting on their ottoman. Virginia’s bare feet are propped up in front of them, spread apart awkwardly with neon lemon gel toe spreaders, and she studies the nail polish like she’s trying to determine which vial isn’t poisoned.
“I like that one,” she says finally, pointing to a pale pink polish the color of the flowers Virginia brought her on their first date. Virginia hums, picking the bottle up and tilting it critically in the light.
“Not the one I would have picked, but I said you could pick, so I guess we’re doing it.”
Virginia tosses some bottles of toppers (or “tacos” as she calls them, slang from one of the YouTubers she likes) onto the bed while she paints her toes, and Logan sifts through them to settle on a blue-yellow iridescent one.
“I do not know how you can get behind wearing something called a Unicorn Skin,” Logan says. Virginia just shrugs and plucks the bottle from her hand. Their fingers overlap - Logan’s warm from where they’ve been tucked under her body, Virginia’s cool from where they’ve been gripping the glass bottle. Impulsively, Logan lifts Virginia’s fingers and kisses the tips.
“You’re going to smear the polish,” Virginia mutters, even though she painted her fingers earlier today and they’ve been dry for a while. She doesn’t bother to yank her fingers away, either, so Logan kisses them again.
*~*~*~*~*
“Logan!”
Logan is fully aware that the only thing keeping Poppy from crashing into her like a floral-sundress-covered cannonball is the casserole dish in her hands. She counts her blessings and steps aside to let Poppy in.
“Where’s Jan?”
“Getting something from the car! It’s my turn to drive us home, so she brought something to drink.”
Jan primly kicks the passenger side door shut with her heeled ankle boots, a bottle of wine grasped by the neck in each hand.
“I hope you do not intend to drink both of those in their entirety tonight,” Logan says. Jan rolls her eyes and offers one of the bottles to her.
“This one is a gift for you and Ginia. The other one is for me.”
“None for Poppy?”
“Poppy is the designated driver, so she will not be drinking. And I know she already told you that.” Logan rolls her eyes, and Jan flips her off. “Are you going to invite me in or not?”
“What are you, a vampire?” Virginia shouts from the kitchen.
“Only one of us dresses like the undead, darling, and it isn’t me,” Jan calls back, stepping into the house. “Are the twins here yet?”
“They cannot attend. Remus has orchestra practice and Rosie is teaching a dance class. You already knew both of these facts, because you are in the group text.”
“I am not.”
“You responded to a message in the group thread fifteen minutes ago.”
“That was the NSA agent assigned to monitor me.”
“You are a liar.”
“What else is new?”
*~*~*~*~*
groupchat name: be gay do crime
soda poppy: hey every1! DONUT 4get to make ur bakesale goodies and drop them off at r house by 7 am on fri!
lo tide: Please use normal words. I am begging you.
snesbian (snake lesbian): then beg.
lo tide: I do not recall asking for your opinion.
snesbian (snake lesbian): and yet i give it to you anyway. am i not generous
virgin: if you don’t stop making fun of my gf i swear to god
virgin: also remus if you don’t stop changing my name i’m gonna end you
virgin has changed their name to gin(ny) and tonic!
gin(ny) and tonic: much better anyway
violets are blue rosie is me: i believe you meant anygay
gin(ny) and tonic: i said what i fucking said
ace attorney irl: you changed your name :(
gin(ny) and tonic: every day the Lord regrets giving all of us mod powers in this chat
snesbian (snake lesbian): i have no such regrets
lo tide: Can we circle back to the bake sale, please?
soda poppy: Whatchu wanna kno???
lo tide: I assume it is school related?
soda poppy: yep!
soda poppy: fundraising 4 this year’s art club field trip! since im the faculty advisor im in charge of approving and setting up 4 the fundraisers
lo tide: I see. And why, exactly, is it our responsibility to make things for this fundraiser? Should it not be the students’ responsibility?
soda poppy: they r makin stuff 4 it but also i gotta make sure some of the stuff will b edible yknow
lo tide: I see.
gin(ny) and tonic: listen i know that jan is like. a professional pastry chef an shit. but i’m not making anything fancy like a cheesecake or smthn
gin(ny) and tonic: i’m making like. fuckin brownies
snesbian (snake lesbian): smh don’t you care about the Children at all?
gin(ny) and tonic: no. they’re not my kids
ace attorney irl: i will make cookies
soda poppy: u cannot make them inappropriate shapes
ace attorney irl: :(
violets are blue rosie is me: do not worry, i will make sure they are an appropriate shape
violets are blue rosie is me: i’ll make cupcakes!
lo tide: I believe I have a recipe for lemon squares that I can make. Will lemon squares be sufficient?
soda poppy: yeah! just keep ur stuff free of common allergens like tree nuts
gin(ny) and tonic: so my plan to just yeet you a bag of reese’s peanut butter cups and call it a contribution is out then
*~*~*~*~*
Virginia throws a box of brownie mix into the cart and dusts her hands off. “There. Done.”
Logan raises an eyebrow.
“Don’t give me that look, we have the rest of the ingredients at home. We have tap water, we have oil, we have eggs, we don’t need anything else. What do we need for your lemon thingies?”
“Lemons, presumably.”
“You’re a comedian,” Logan deadpans. Virginia flips her off, and then leans in to kiss her cheek. “I do need lemons, though. Lemons, more eggs . . . I have a list in my phone.”
“What phone?” Virginia says, dangling Logan’s galaxy-patterned case above her head. “I think you’re too short for this, Lo.”
“Give me my phone,” Logan says, rolling her eyes. Virginia wiggles it above her head, laughing.
“Maybe you should give me something in return.”
“Like what?”
Virginia grins. “Like a kiss, perhaps?”
Logan rolls her eyes again, but she leans in and kisses Virginia gently, swiping her phone back when Virginia lowers her hand to cup her face. “Thank you for paying the toll, sweetheart.”
“You are ridiculous,” Logan says. It doesn’t stop her from gently kissing Virginia’s cheek before pushing the cart down the aisle again.
*~*~*~*~*
groupchat name: be gay do crime
lo tide: What time did you want us to drop off the baked goods, Poppy?
soda poppy: if ur gonna b in the area, u can just drop them off at my house!
ace attorney irl: i made some of the shapes inappropriate but those ones r 4 u and jan
soda poppy: what did u make 4 the bake sale?
ace attorney irl: . . .
soda poppy: what did u make 4 the children, remus.
ace attorney irl: nothin’ too crazy! jan had some normal summer shapes - suns, flip flops, etc. etc. used those
soda poppy: :D thx remus!
ace attorney irl: made some fishies too! but the octopi are just for u an jan.
ace attorney irl: i . . . may have painted dicks on them
soda poppy: well at least u warned me right
*~*~*~*~*
“Did you get the right kind of popcorn?” Logan asks.
“If by ‘the right kind’ you mean ‘your favorite kind,’ then yes, I did,” Virginia says, coming into the living room with a large yellow bowl full of fluffy popcorn. “What are we watching tonight? It’s your turn to pick, isn’t it?”
“Gay fish,” Logan says.
Virginia sets the popcorn on the coffee table and blinks at her. “That is . . . quite the description of Finding Nemo, sweetheart.”
“Not Finding Nemo, Ginny. Luca. It’s new, and it’s not explicitly gay, but there is a very obvious queer reading. I thought we could watch it together.”
“Anything with you sounds wonderful.”
“Sap,” Logan mutters. She leans in to kiss Virginia’s cheek, but Virginia turns at the last moment and presses their lips together.
“Are you sure you want to watch a movie?” she says. “We could just make out instead, if you want.” She pushes gently on Logan’s stomach, guiding her to lay on her back on the couch. Virginia lays on top of her, gently sliding a hand to rest warm and heavy on her stomach. She leans forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Logan’s neck, and then her jaw, and then rubbing their noses together.
“Tonight is movie night,” Logan says. Virginia presses their mouths together, and Logan hums, gently pressing up into the kiss. “We should be watching a movie.”
“Are you sure?” Virginia says. “I think we should pursue this avenue a little further.”
Logan squirms a little. “I - I would not - um - no, thank you.”
Virginia’s eyes, which were hazing over with something, clear as she blinks. “Okay, sweetheart.” She leans back, sits up, pulls Logan into a sitting position. “Are you alright?”
“I’m okay,” she says. “I just - I am not in the mood for that tonight. If that is okay.”
“Of course it’s okay,” Virginia says. She holds out a hand, and Logan takes it. Virginia kisses the back of it before settling herself on the couch. “I am so proud of you for expressing a boundary and telling me you were uncomfortable. I know that expressing boundaries is something that we’re both working on, and you did a wonderful job. Tell me what you want, Lo. Please?”
“I would like a kiss,” Logan says. “Just one. And then I would like to cuddle, and - and I would like us to watch Luca together. Is that acceptable?”
Virgil nods. “Of course, love. Come here, hmmm?” Logan settles next to her, and Virginia gently cups her cheek and presses their mouths together. “I love you, Logan. So much. Of course we can watch Luca now.”
Virginia lays an arm along the top of the couch, allowing Logan to cuddle up against her and rest her head on her chest. “I love you,” Logan says softly.
“I love you too, sweetpea.”
*~*~*~*~*
Logan rolls over, yawning, and feels a small weight displace itself from her thighs. She blinks awake slowly, lifting her head and pushing her curtain of curls aside to reveal a black cat mewing at her grumpily before settling into a sushi roll beside her.
“Did I wake you? I am sorry, Galileo . . .”
Galileo settles against her, purring softly, while the ash-grey cat at the foot of the bed pads slowly up to curl on Virginia’s back. “That’s your favorite spot, isn’t it, Andromeda?” The cat emits a soft “mrrrp” before settling back down to sleep. Logan yawns, smiles, and gently strokes her hears. “What should we do, girls? Shall we stay awake and be productive members of society?”
Neither cat responds, and Logan looks at Virginia. She’s haloed in the morning light, eyes tightly shut, mouth hanging open, drool leaking into a puddle on the pillow. She snores a little - one, two, three snorts before settling back into a deep sleep.
“No,” Logan decides, “we shall not.” She lays back down, gently nudging Galileo a few inches over so that she can snuggle up to Virginia. Galileo stretches out, pressing a paw directly into Logan’s cheek. Logan shoves her, and she resettles onto Logan’s feet with an indignant noise.
“You can sleep by my face when you do not kick my face,” Logan mutters, curling into her love.
*~*~*~*~*
groupchat name: be gay do crime
soda poppy: r u all comin 2 the bake sale 2morrow?!
lo tide: I was under the impression that we were only providing the baked goods. Is it not for the students at the school?
soda poppy: we got waaaayyyy more stuff than we thought so we r havin a 2nd bakesale 2morrow 4 parents an stuff!
soda poppy: we r gonna need sum help with setup though . . .
lo tide: Poppy, please do not even -
soda poppy: 🥺🥺🥺 p l e a s e
lo tide: Poppy.
snesbian (snake lesbian): logan
lo tide: If I agree to stop and pick up coffee for everyone, will that motivate you all to turn out?
violets are blue rosie is me: i’m always a slut for free coffee
lo tide: I’m sorry, where did I say that this would be free?
violets are blue rosie is me: D:<
ace attorney irl: eh i’m down for it. where you swingin’ by?
soda poppy: there’s a panera p close 2 where the bake sale is!!! it’s gonna b at the morning girl’s basketball game
lo tide: Does anyone have any issues with Panera coffee?
violets are blue rosie is me: nah. large iced coffee, add three ounces of half and half, two pumps of sugar syrup, two pumps of vanilla, and caramel drizzle.
ace attorney irl: complicated bitch much?
violets are blue rosie is me: why must the cain instinct betray me like this
ace attorney irl: the cain instinct started when we stole each other’s genders in the womb
violets are blue rosie is me: this is true this is true but you’re still a bitch
ace attorney irl: large hazelnut coffee, two sugars, please
snesbian (snake lesbian): large dark roast, black
soda poppy: medium decaf coffee, two ounces of almond milk, and two pumps of sugar syrup!
gin(ny) and tonic: large caramel latte
lo tide: You . . . are going to ride in the car with me to pick up the coffee, we can order our own coffees. I do not need your order, love.
lo tide: But I appreciate the information <3 <3
*~*~*~*~*
“We come bearing gifts,” Virginia announces loudly. “And by gifts, I mean we bought a baker’s dozen of cinnamon crunch bagels for everybody.”
“Well, there are twelve cinnamon crunch bagels and one plain bagel, bagged separately, for me,” Logan corrects, expertly balancing two coffee trays with a bagel container. “Also, we made more brownies.”
Poppy looks up from where she’s instructing two high-schoolers on how to hang a sign properly and grins, waving brightly. Jan is leaning on the table, hand on her head, sipping at a water bottle.
“Vodka or whiskey?” Logan asks dryly, handing over Jan’s black coffee. Jan blinks at her, flips her off, and drains a long swig from her cup.
“Water. Partied a little too hard with Remy last night, and now I’m hungover as shit.”
“We suspected as much, which is why we brought you an extra coffee.”
“Lifesaver,” Jan says, knocking back another long drag of coffee before taking a sip of her water bottle. (Logan suspects the bottle is actually Poppy’s, due to the sun-shiney stickers plastered all over it.) “You and Poppy both. But if you tell anyone that, I’ll gut you like a fish."
“No, you won’t,” Logan says, turning to hand Rosie and Remus their respective drinks. “You never do.”
Jan flips her off, but Virginia comes up behind her and leans her forehead against her shoulder. Logan turns, kissing her forehead, and smiles.
Life is good today, she thinks. Life is good.
(screen names!
virgin -> gin(ny) and tonic; ginny <3 = virginia (virgil)
lo tide = logan
snesbian (snake lesbian) = jan (janus)
soda poppy = poppy (patton)
ace attorney irl = remus
violets are blue rosie is me = rosie (roman) (thanks to @rosesisupposes for letting me borrow your screen name for this!)
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