#didn’t get home till 10pm

[revelations-mp3]

It has been the longest week and it’s not even over yet I’m gonna be so burned out next week

[pombeom]

remember this? | taesan fic (nsfw)

pairings: dance!au, enemies/exes to lovers, mean!dom taesan x sub!reader, street dancer! taesan x ballerina! reader warnings: mirror sex, slight exhibitionism, teasing from taesan (this is probs gonna be a given in all my future taesan fics atp), reader is tough until she soon isn’t…,name calling, slut shaming, nicknames, raw sex, hair pulling, dub con, tit sucking, dirty talk?, rough sex, creampie, fluffy ending a/n: i love myself a good enemies to lovers so this just had to be written :/

With the competition getting near, you found yourself seeing more of the studio than your own home. Out of all your teammates, you were the chosen one so naturally you felt the pressure this put on your skills and ability. Attending a renowned dance academy had its advantages but being given the responsibility to represent your school was both an honour and a burden. This only meant you had to put in the extra effort to show your worth to both the academy and the judges. You needed to prove yourself. 

Ever since being selected at the audition, your rehearsal schedule has been vigorous. Aside from the compulsory competition practices set by your dance teacher, you’d booked the studio for an extra few hours each day to get in the practice. With each step and each turn, you felt the choreography being etched into your body until till there was no more room for error, for the competition was now only days away. Everything you had worked for so far was about to play out in just a few days. 

“Alright, I think that’s enough for today. Just make sure to work on your turn out. It’s a little weak on your arabesques,” your teacher comments whilst packing her things away. 

“I noticed too. I’ll work on it now.” 

“Now? Aren’t you going home?”

“No, I booked the studio for a few more hours so I can practice a bit more.” You weren’t supposed to let her know, but it slipped out. Your dedication wasn’t as well-received as you’d expected. 

“Y/n. What did I tell you. Our class schedule is enough. The first few weeks I understand but it’s getting out of hand now. You practically live here. Soon you’re going to end up overworking yourself which will affect your performance at the competition. We can’t afford to lose it again. Do you understand?” 

“Yes, Miss Everett. But since I already booked it for today, can I just use today as one last extra practice,” you begged, trying to see her into reason. 

“Fine. But if I hear you in the studio past 10pm, then I might have to ban you from being able to book it for extra sessions in the future and I’m sure you don’t want that. Understood?” 

“Yes, Miss Everett.” 

“Good,” she nods approvingly, granting you one of her rare smiles, “I’ll see you tomorrow then.” 

“Have a good evening!” 

The door slams behind her as she leaves the room. It was just you in here. You and your reflection. Casting your eyes upon yourself, you pull your legs into an arabesque, noticing your sickled foot. Shifting its position, you attempt to get it into the right alignment when the door crashes open once again. 

Immediately dropping your leg back to the ground, you turn your eyes to meet his sharp gaze in the mirror. His lips instantly lift into a soft smirk, teasing you for being alone in the studio once again. He’d intruded on your private space and with that thought your blood boils as you grit your teeth awaiting an explanation. 

“What a surprise! You’re here again,” he exclaims, his tone flooded with sarcasm. 

“I booked the studio so of course I’m here. Can’t say the same for you though,” you scoff, ensuring your irritation was explicitly conveyed, “I don’t enjoy being interrupted mid-practice.” 

“I’m sure you don’t. But I booked this studio.”

“No. You didn’t. You’re in another one. I booked it for 8pm today.” 

“The confirmation message says otherwise.” He shows you his phone, confirming the date and time of the booking and you run to check your phone immediately. 8pm Tuesday. You’d booked it for the wrong day. Your face turns red, embarrassed to admit your mistake to him.

“Now if you don’t mind, can you leave. I’ve got to practice.” 

You slumped over as you begin slipping off your pointe shoes, complaining to yourself about his bad attitude. 

“Is that mumbling I hear?” The arrogance visible in his voice and composure as he crosses his arms, looking down at you in front of him. 

“No. You must be hearing things,” you state, standing back up once again, “now, if you move, I’ll be on my way.” 

“What if I don’t?” his smirk had only grown longer since the time he’d first entered, only causing your irritation to explode within you. 

“Han Taesan! Move out the way!” 

“Woah woah, calm down Shorty.” 

He knew you hated that nickname and yet he continues to insist upon using it. You dropped your bag back on the floor, pushing his shoulders with all your might. Your brows arched into that of anger as you continue to hit against his chest, pushing him towards the mirror until he’s cornered against it. 

“Call me that again and you won’t know what’s come over you.” 

“Is that right? Shorty?” 

It doesn’t take him long to turn you around, slamming your back against the glass. His arms cage you in between his chest, his face inching closer to you. Heart beating faster at the lack of space between you, you put up with your act of anger, grabbing the fabric of his t-shirt, moving him even closer to you. 

“I fucking hate you.” The words come out through the grit of your teeth. 

“Is that so? What are you going to do about it?” His infamous smirk once again plastered across his face, almost as if he was diminishing your sense of being. It didn’t help that he stood towering over you, standing at a head taller. 

Without a cue or warning, his arms shift place to instead wrapping around your waist almost swallowing your entire being. 

“Do you remember this? You used to love being wrapped up in my arms,” he taunts, giving your waist a squeeze. 

The past flashed in front of your eyes. The times when you were both so carefree, messing around in bed almost every other day and on nights when he wasn’t deep inside you, you’d be watching your favourite shows, or cooking dinner together. Before he disappointed you and left you to fend for yourself as he gave you up for his first love. Dance. You knew well enough that a dancer’s love will always remain with their art, you just didn’t know that that love couldn’t be shared with another person. Maybe you didn’t love your art as much as he did. Maybe that’s why you were so hurt by his betrayal. Those maybe’s slowly tore you apart after your breakup. You swore to yourself to love your art just as much as Taesan did his, if not even more. You became obsessed with the idea of being more dedicated to your dancing than he was. But where did that lead to now? 

“That was then. Back when you weren’t a fucking jerk.” 

“Do you ever miss it?” 

“Miss what?” 

“This.” 

Within seconds he lifts you up, wrapping your legs around his waist, as he uses this as his gateway into getting even closer to you. The cold mirror presses against your half exposed back with the goosebumps travelling down your spine. 

“Do you ever miss me holding you like this, knowing what comes after?” 

“Taesan…let go,” your voice was weak, knowing you didn’t mean it. 

Your attempts to push him off only resulted in him tightening his grip around your thighs. It was embarrassing how quickly you folded, with each push getting weaker as your arms became jelly under his touch. 

“I’ll let go when I want to. Now be a good girl and take me like you used to.” 

Dropping you to the ground, his hands wandered around your body effortlessly, meandering through the familiar curves. The straps of your leotard fell down your shoulders as he pulled them down revealing your half naked torso. The only thing blocking him from you was the black bra he gifted you on your anniversary 3 years ago. 

“Still got this, huh?” He teases, pinging the strap of your bra. 

With ease, he removes it from your body, staring intently at your perky tits as your nipples hardened upon contact with the cold breeze of air. Whilst one hand goes up to play with your nipple, his mouth takes care of the other, sucking around the skin of your boob. 

“Fuck! Taesan. Stop!” Your words said one thing whilst actions meant another. Your handed tangle into his hair pulling him closer to your chest, heightening the sensations of his mouth on your sensitive buds. 

The sound of a pop bought you back to your sense as he released himself from your tits. He scans the rest of your body before ripping your nearly tied skirt off your waist and pulling down your leotard to the floor, along with your tights and panties.

You felt so exposed standing naked in the vastness of the studio. The studio which you saw as the holy grail as it stood by you through thick and thin. It felt wrong to be in such a vulnerable state in a place where you knew you were going to be in the next day with your unsuspecting teacher.  

“Turn around,” he commanded. 

One swift move and your facing your naked form in the mirror as he pushes your head against the mirror, pulling your lower half closer to his as he begins grinding his clothed dick against you. 

“Fuck, you’re dripping. Such a slut aren’t you?” You peer down at his grey joggers, noticing the evident wet patch you’ve created which only turned you on more.

His slow pace picks up and his actions almost emulate him fucking you despite being fully clothed as he grabs your hips, pounding them against his tented cock. 

“Taesan, please!” Your moans were stifled as he pushes against your head harder, the mirror fogging up against your face. 

“Please what? Use your words. You were given a mouth for a reason. Or was it so you could suck my cock like the slut you are? Remember how feral you used to go over my dick?” His chuckle echoed through the room, only further getting your closer to your orgasm.

“Taesan, fuck me. I need you inside me. I wanna cum.” 

“My bitch wants to cum does she? Didn’t you say you hated me just a few minutes ago? Now you want my cock inside you pounding you like I used to?” 

“Mhmm! Please!” Your begging was received with his devious laughter. He loved the control he had over you and deep down you knew you loved it to. You missed it. 

“Only because you insist.” 

He pulls off his T-shirt over his head in one swift move, then immediately removing himself of the remainder of his clothes, allowing his hard, long cock to spring free. He aligns the tip over your throbbing core, pushing in half his length before pulling back out again. 

“Is this what you wanted?” He asks before repeating the same action. 

Taking matters into your own hands you begin sinking your hips down onto his dick, taking it all in as it hits the top of your cervix. 

“Who said you could do that? I’m in charge, don’t forget.” His hands take their place on your hip, gripping it so firmly as to disallow you from moving it any further. 

He pulls out his length completely, leaving you whining over the loss of contact. It only takes him a few seconds before he slams it back in, sharp and strong as the vibrations hit your throat, leaving you gasping for air as you let out a strangled moan. 

“You like that bitch?” Your frantic nodding only boosts his ego as he repeats it once more, before he sets up a rhythmic pace of thrusting into you. 

It doesn’t take long for you to re-familiarise yourself with his veiny cock, going dizzy at the way he’s stretching you out. 

“Faster! Please!” 

“My baby wants me to go faster? Only if you look at yourself in the mirror. Watch how well you’re taking me.” 

You instantly move your head from the mirror, feeling hazy at the sudden shift in position, Taesan continuing to fuck your brains out. 

You see yourself in the mirror, face and hair disheveled as you look up to meet Taesan’s lust filled eyes. Just as he promised, his lace picks up making your legs wobble. If it weren’t for his hands holding you up, you were certain you would have passed out. You drop your head as the pressure builds up in your core, your vision going blurry with the build up of tears. 

“Look up. I told you to watch yourself in the mirror.” His hands grab ahold of your ponytail, pulling it backwards to your head faces the mirror once again, “I want you to watch yourself fall apart on my cock. Look at you. Fucked dumb already?”

“Taesan…Ahhh! I’m gonna cum!” Your whine screeches throughout the room, desperately praying the room was soundproof. 

“Fuck. Me too. Cum with me.” 

The last few thrusts were sharp and calculated as his hand wanders down to your leaking pussy, stroking your swollen clit. Seconds later, your orgasm explodes, the tingling travelling throughout your body as you drop to the floor, your legs finally giving up on you. Taesan’s cum erupts out of you like a volcanic eruption, staining the polished wooden floors in sticky white. 

“You missed this didn’t you?” 

You had no energy left in you to respond but that was enough for Taesan to figure out the answer. 

“I’ve missed you.” 

His confession appeared out of nowhere as you lift your head up to meet his. He was now crouching on the floor to be level with your glowing face. 

“Taesan…” 

“If you don’t want me back, I understand. Just know that there’s not a day that goes by where I’m not thinking about you. From the way you laugh to the way you fit in my arms, I’m always thinking about you.” His words were much more gentle than they were before. You were reminded of your past once again. 

“I missed you too Taesan, in more ways than you can imagine. You broke my heart yet you were all that I could think about.” 

“I never should have abandoned you. My dance is important but never as important as you, baby. I’ve realised that too late.” 

“It’s never too late. I want to be held by you again. I want to kiss you like I used to and simply live like we did before. Before we were all-consumed by dance.” 

“I want to go back to that. If you’ll let me, can I ask you out? Will you be my girlfriend again?” 

Pulling him closer, your arms wrap around his neck, attaching your lips to his, the kiss was soft yet passionate enough to have your stomach fluttering from butterflies. 

“Yes. Of course I’d say yes. Let’s have a do over.” 

Competition day rolled around as both you and Taesan paced around nervously in your respective changing rooms. You mentally go over the choreography which you had injected into your limbs and calm down the nerves. 

“Y/n, go up to the stage please. You’re on after Set 14. That gives you 3 minutes.” 

You nod your head and thank the runner before heading over to side stage where Taesan is already awaiting your arrival. He picks you up in a warm embrace, spinning you around before placing you back down, caressing your cheek fondly. 

“I know you’ll be great! Now go and show them that you’re my girl. Good luck, Shorty.” 

“Fuck you, Taesan.” You giggle, slapping his arm playfully at his teasing remark. 

“You can but after you perform. I’m on in a bit too. So how about tonight? We can have a celebratory fuck.” He raises his eyebrows, nudging you as you hide behind your hands. 

“We’re in public for God sake! Stop messing around.” 

“Who said I’m messing around?” 

“Ugh. You’re lucky I love you.”

“Indeed I am.” 

“Y/n, you’re up. Make your way to your starting position please.” The runner calls out as you give Taesan one last hug before making your way onto the stage. 

His mischievous smile removed you of all your nerves, leaving you instead with confidence that you’ll perform your piece to the best of your ability, which you did considering you came 2nd place in ballet out of 32 dance schools across the country. Moreover, Taesan won first place for street dance, having you both jumping around in your tight hug. 

“I guess we do deserve a good fuck after this then. I’m so proud of us,” he taunts, as you nudge his shoulder. 

“I guess we do,” you reply, running off as he chased behind you, catch you by your waist and wrestling you down onto the couch in your changing room. 

His eyes scan the room to make sure the door behind you was closed as he whispers, “Do you think you can wait or do you wanna let me fuck you now?” 

“Now? Are you kidding?” 

“Well, yeah. As long as you stay quiet.” 

[propertyofwicked]

HOMESICK - LN

content warnings: just fluff really, mentions of anxiety, being far from family

2.4k words - lemme know if u want a pt2 for this one :)

masterlist

y/n hated new places, she hated change, and most of all she hated being away from home. y/n knew she would eventually feel a sense of comfort and familiarity in woking, but for now, her blood ran hot, and an icy sweat took over her body, her eyes tearful even though she couldn’t pin point why she felt so upset. the flat was silent, and yet deafening, every whistle of wind or creak of a floorboard serving as her constant reminder - you are alone, your are miles away from your family, everything is unfamiliar.

she found herself constantly shaking her head, trying to knock some sense into herself

you’ve done this before, you went to university even further from your family, you did this for 3 years, you can do it again. you are a grown woman now sort yourself out.

her thoughts battled loudly with each other, one side of her brain logical, the other trying to sabotage her.

it just didn’t make sense - she travelled across the world almost weekly, filming and editing content for the mclaren social media pages, working closely with the drivers, engineers and management and never once felt overwhelmed with the distance from home comforts. she supposed being constantly on the move, keeping her mind and body occupied with her work boded well in distracting her from feeling homesick. the close bond she’d formed with everyone in the garages probably aided her even further, provided her with a new sense of family away from home.

but for now, she sat cross legged on her desk chair, arms resting on the table, her head balancing precariously in her hands, deep in sleep. y/n had arrived at the offices at 10pm, unable to sleep in her empty flat, the feeling of constant nausea and upset overbearing, and deciding that being productive was a much better use of her time - a great distraction from her loneliness. she hadn’t intended to fall asleep, especially not in a position that put so much strain on her back, and yet here she was.

3am in the mclaren offices and all that could be heard was heavy, exhausted breathing and the soft whir of a computer fan that ran idly in the background.

this is something that lando found peculiar - who was sleeping in the office? and why were they sleeping here? he thought to himself as he and oscar snuck into the building from the side door.

as they rounded the corner, oscar’s mouth opened, starting to ask the same thing lando had been questioning, but was cut off by lando’s finger raising to his own lips, shushing the younger man before pointing to y/n’s desk, her head now resting on the table cheek smushing her forgotten glasses further into her face uncomfortably.

the two of them, stared at the girl before moving to look back at each other, a mix of confusion and amusement glossing their faces.

“wh- why is she here?” he asked, out of pure concern for the girl.

“i don’t know oscar, we walked in at the same time?” lando responds, taking long but quiet steps to stand behind her chair.

“didn’t she just get a new flat near here? why wouldn’t she go home?” oscar asked again, mindlessly, knowing that lando was also bewildered to the sight in front of them. the older man simply shrugged in response, moving to rest a hand on the sleeping girl’s shoulder, bending slightly till he was level with her face.

“y/n? y/n?” he asked her softly, moving her shoulder gently in his hand as to not startle her, “you need to wake up, darlin’, can’t sleep here,” he adds, noting her breathing change as she came back to reality.

“lando?” she asked, startled, despite his best efforts, “what are you doing here it’s like -” she wiggled the mouse on her computer to bring up the home screen, “3am?”

“what are you doing here at 3am? not to mention, fast asleep at your desk,” he retorts, standing back and crossing his arms over his chest. she finally clocks oscar stood awkwardly behind him, sending him a quick smile, before leaning back in her chair, looking at lando again.

“i asked first.”

“we’re breaking in to decorate zach’s office for his birthday,” he says as though it was obvious, laughing slightly at the thought of the hello kitty balloons stuffed into the bag oscar held behind his back, “now, what are you doing here?”

“working,” she replied, offering no more to her story.

“with your eyes closed? drooling on your desk? i don’t think so.”

“i was not drooling,” she argues, confident in her words despite the back of her hand moving to wipe her mouth just in case.

“you we-”

“didn’t you just move in to a new flat y/n?” oscar asks, interrupting what he was sure would be an entertaining round of bickering between the two.

“i did,” she says with a nod, “i just got so caught up in my work. didn’t realise what the time was,” she adds, dodging the subject of her empty flat. the flat so empty of life, but so full of overwhelming silence and dread, and yet she found solace in the silence of the mclaren offices.

“do you want a ride home?” lando asked, sensing there was more to the story, but leaving the can unopened, for now.

she shook her head, breathing out a long sigh as she did.

“no thanks, i might just stay here till the work day starts,” she adds, her hand rubbing her eyes slightly, feeling the exhaustion still looming in her brain.

“are you sure?” oscar asked, concern rising in his voice again.

“yep,” y/n replied, the ‘p’ exaggerated.

the boys looked at each other, a silent exchange of words between the team mates as they moved in the direction of zach’s office once again.

“we’ll come check in with you before we leave, yeah?” lando added, before turning on his heel and following oscar down the long hallway. she nodded even though they couldn’t see her, before pulling the hood of her jumper over her hair, and letting her head fall back onto the desk, using her arms as makeshift pillows.

it was nearing 4am when the two returned, once again guided down the hallway by the sound of y/n’s heavy breathing. they stopped just before they could see her, turning to each other.

“we gotta get her home. her back is gonna be ruined if she keeps sleeping like that,” oscar says, keeping his voice low.

“i know - she still hasn’t forgiven jon for letting her sleep curled up under a table a year ago. spent the whole week complaining about her spine aching,” lando replied, smiling softly at the memory of her trying to bend herself backwards over a chair to ‘reset’ her back, as she had claimed.

“how do we get her to leave? willingly? without the kicking and screaming?” lando asked after a moment of silence, the boys plotting their next moves.

“you’ll think of something, im sure. she’ll never say no to you,” oscar replies, his hands moving to grip his car keys in the pockets of his joggers.

“what do you mean? ill think of something? you’re not leaving me to deal with her on my own, are you?” lando asked, suddenly doubting his abilities to contend with the strong willed woman asleep not 3 metres away from them.

“i left lily sleeping 2 hours ago, and i don’t feel like explaining this,” he says, pointing at the room in general, “when she wakes up and realises im not there,” he finishes with a shrug.

“fine,” lando says with a huff, “wish me luck.”

“good luck. lemme know how she gets on,” the australian replies, walking away from lando slowly, but glancing into the office space to check on y/n one last time.

lando sighed again, before sauntering back into the room he had left her in an hour ago. he moved to crouch next to her again, his fingers moving to pull her hood back, tucking her hair out of her face as he did. she looked so peaceful like this, her eyes twitching slightly under the pressure of sleep, a lose strand of hair blowing with every exhale. he didn’t want to wake her, but there was no other option unless he wheeled her out on the chair she sat on.

“angel? y/n?” he paused, grimacing slightly at his slip up, “it’s time to go,” he said softly, stroking her arm gently. he hoped she was too sleepy to notice the pet name.

“go where?” she mumbled, in her half-asleep state, eyes opening to look at him.

“home, y/n. need to get you in a proper bed.”

“no, im fine here,” she said, quickly defending her choice of sleeping position, “you go, ill see you later.”

“nuh-uh,” he tutted, standing in front of her to grip both her arms, dragging her up from the chair, “you are going to go home and sleep in a proper bed.”

“i don’t have my car and there’s no buses at this time.”

“ill drive you home.”

“it’s out of your way, you’d be wasting a journey.”

“don’t care. you’re getting in my car and im taking you home,” he argued back, finalising the argument she knew she wouldn’t win.

“fine,” she huffed, still clawing for the last word even if she had lost the battle.

soon, they were stood in the car park, lando stepping to the side to pull the passenger door open, a hand firmly on her back pushing her into the car. she wanted to argue that she was fully capable of getting in the car on her own, but the pure exhaustion took over as she adjusted the seat to her comfort, clicking her belt in as lando started the engine.

the car was silent, asides from the fans that pushed warm air into the vehicle and the low humming of the engine. he tried his best to take the roads slow, especially as he neared her flat, fearing waking up the neighbourhood with the growling of his car when he accelerated.

“what’s the real reason you didn’t wanna go home?” he asked, arm coming to rest at his side.

“i told you, i didn’t realise what time it was,” she said, refusing to let her lie catch up with her.

“bullshit.”

“what?”

“i said, bullshit. that’s not the real reason.”

“im homesick,” she spat out, “ok? im an adult woman who can’t handle the prospect of being home alone, 200 miles away from her family. happy now?”

“happ- why would i be happy about that?” he asked, his tone softer than his previous outburst. they were now pulling into her apartment building, y/n still neglecting to answer him until the car pulled to a complete stop.

“you wanna come in, for a bit?” she asked, biting her tongue.

“do you want me to come in?”

“yeah, if you want to. only for a bit,” she said again.

“ok,” his response was simple, he didn’t really need to think it through. he glanced down at his watch, 5:15am, and yet, he could not feel more awake. he didn’t mind staying, especially if it gave her the comfort to move freely in her own home.

walking into her flat felt oddly natural to him, despite him having never been there. the two could be considered close friends, not that either of them would acknowledge it, but spending years working closely together, travelling around the world, tends to do that. they’d started working at mclaren at similar times, him as a driver and her as a content creator for the brand, the new job nerves acting as almost a trauma bond between the two. they’d spent many nights in each others hotel rooms, playing games, watching films, often with oscar in tow - anything to pass the time in between races - but the two had never crossed the personal boundary into each others homes.

and yet, lando strolled in, took his shoes off by the door, and threw himself down on the sofa as if this was a daily thing. y/n dropped herself down next to him, sighing as she did.

“you need to sleep,” he said, turning to look at her, his arm thrown over the back of the sofa where she sat.

“my brain is too awake now,” she said, voice never faltering despite her stomach turning as she realises how close they were sat, the way his warmth surrounded her as his fingers tapped a steady rhythm on the seat behind her head.

“you wanna watch something till you settle again?” he asked, tv remote already in hand.

“sounds good,” she replied, tight lipped, eyes focusing as he scrolled through her netflix, settling on a film she didn’t care to remember the name of.

before the opening credits had even started, y/n body slumped against lando’s, head dropping to rest below his shoulder. he tensed slightly, relaxing again when he looked down to see her eyes closed, chest heaving deep breathes once again. his arm resting on the sofa dropped behind her back, his hand moving to hold her waist gently, fingers drawing light circles on the fabric of her leggings.

a while later, he moved his hips slightly, trying to re adjust his position to stop his legs going dead. he feared he had woken her, when she mumbled something incoherent and began moving. lando allowed himself to let out a shaky breath as she twisted herself into his side, her arm moving to wrap around his waist, her leg bending upwards to rest on top of his.

he waited a moment, as if to check she was really sleeping, before leaning down to press a soft kiss to the top of her head.

“goodnight, angel,” he whispered.

lando told himself he’d leave when the film ended. in his silence he planned how to move from the sofa without waking her. but then his eyes grew tired, and he told himself he’d shut them, just for a moment.

the two of them lay on the sofa, fast asleep. his posture had sloped in his slumber, shifting their bodies into a recline, his arms wrapped tightly around her and she settled onto his chest. their legs entwined with each other, a blanket lando had attempted to wrap around her had fallen haphazardly to the floor.

[briarberrythornedhart]

Stay for a Spell

Contains: Eddie Munson x You, Steve’s Cousin!Reader, sharing food/food play, first kiss, referenced sex.

♥️ 🍕 ♥️

You were down visiting your baby Cousin Steve while your Uncle and Aunt Harrington were conveniently in the Bahamas

Steve (only 2 years your junior but he would always be your BABY cousin) had become a lot more responsible since you saw him last and what would have been a raging kegger 2 years ago, was a very chill movie night.

Which was already winding down at 10pm.

A half dozen high schoolers (Basically Steve’s adopted children from what you could tell) had gotten rides home from Nancy and Jonathan. Robin and Vikki had sapphicly scampered off to one of the bedrooms ❤️.

There were other folks clustered around the T.V. mere moments ago but now it was just you and Steve’s super gorgeous, very charming friend Eddie Munson.

He had an arm draped over the back of the couch- one leg pulled up so his foot was tucked under his thigh. He was in a ripped/cropped Megadeth t-shirt despite the cold weather. He had dimples and tattoos and big cow eyes and you were LOST.

You were only a third through Monty Python’s Holy Grail. You were watching Eddie a lot more than you were watching the movie but you were pretty sure he hadn’t noticed and he seemed to be having a good time.

Even his laughing was sexy. The little huff of breath when something was silly. The dark deep chuckle when something in the movie went entirely off the rails.

You reached for the last piece of pizza and felt his hand also in the pizza box. Grabbing your hand? You gasped.

Your eyes met.

“Hey, It’s all yours.” He pulled his hand away, shook out his mane of hair and shrugged.

Oh no - of course - of course - he was just grabbing the pizza, obviously. Why would a dreamboat like this be making a pass at you when he’d been JUST friendly all night. He’d been flirting with almost everyone but not you.

“It’s cool, I’m not that hungry.” You shrugged back. “Go ‘head.”

“Yes, you are.” Eddie laughed. “You have to be! Pretty much everyone had 4 pieces and you had one? Didn’t see you touch the chips. And you had half a beer. Am I right?” He rubbed his hands together, dusting off Parmesan and flour off his ringed fingers onto a napkin.

“You hardly ate either. We could share it.” You offered.

“Okaaay” Eddie squinted at you, brows knit, “... I’ll go get a knife…”

“Why dirty up a knife? You take a bite, I take a bite, till it’s eaten up.” You suggested. His brows shot up. “Unless you’re concerned I’ll give ya’ cooties.”

Eddie laughed again. “Noooo, I’m fairly sure you don’t have cooties.” He lifted the slice to his mouth and took a bite. He handed you the slice with such care - like it was precious - or you were?

You took a bite, hyper aware of his gaze on you. Butterflies were getting up to some crazy antics in your chest.

Another pass back and forth and You saw him lick his fingers. Then he widened his eyes - looking sideways at you for a reaction and then wiped his hands on the napkin again.

You took your bite and deliberately licked your thumb - sucking it slightly into your mouth, down to the knuckle and watching him watching you.

He swallowed on nothing - his Adam’s apple bobbing on his long pretty neck. His cheeks got red.

When you passed the piece back to him, and there was barely anything left but crust, Eddie took your wrist like it might break if he wasn’t careful, and took his bite while you held it out for him. Slight pressure from his thumb on the palm of your hand feeling way more intimate than it should. You squirmed on the couch and did not crawl into his lap.

And then he fed you the last little bit- still holding your wrist like it was made of porcelain.

You were so close now, knees touching, shared breath, he leaned in closer and his eyelashes fluttered closed, so you were brave enough to lean in too, close enough to feel the heat of his lips…

“Did you just Lady and the Tramp the last of the ‘za?” Argyle’s amused voice with his distinctive San Pedro accent over your shoulder made you straighten your spine in surprise.

Eddie sputtered something about just sharing and just having manners but Argyle interrupted. “Man, it’s cool, I don’t wanna mess up the vibe going on in here, but you’re sitting on my sweater and my van keys, so imma grab this real quick…” Eddie and you both stood and looked for the clothing item guiltily. Argyle grabbed it from where it had been shoved down between couch cushions. “See you Tuesday per the usual, Eduardo?”

Eddie nodded and Argyle saluted and headed off with his keys swinging around his forefinger.

Eddie licked his upper lip and cleared his throat. “Sorry about that... uh… Argyle he’s like ALWAYS high so…”

“High enough to think you’d be into me?” You asked.

“Wha... No! wait. a.... Minute,” He pointed a finger at you, “... that’s not what I was saying.”

“What were you saying?”

“I dunno but you are leaving Hawkins soon and Harrington’s gonna kick my ass so I should probably...” His face seemed to close off. He was scowling and you couldn’t bear it. “... go. It’s late.”

“It’s not though. It’s 10:30, not even I got to bed at 10:30.” You said to the carpet.

You felt his fingers under your chin, raising your face to his view. You’d do anything he asked you with those big brown eyes looking vulnerable - almost scared like what did he have to be afraid of??. “You want me to stay? If you’re sure, if you want me to stay, I’ll stay.”

He was so close again, the scent of him was enough to make you ache.

You answered his question with a whisper “Stay Eddie” and punctuated that with a soft kiss.

He kissed you back as gentle as he’d been all night - like you might be breakable.

Only when you grabbed handfuls of his t-shirt - fingernails digging into his back - did he cut loose, kiss like he meant it, the two of you landing on the couch in an eager tangle of limbs.

🦇 🍕 🦇

What Harrington had said to Eddie was, “Keep your paws off my cousin.”

And Eddie had laughed and said “I’ll try.” Note 🎵 in sing-song. Just to piss Steve off. Eddie had no intention of trying anything.

Because how attractive could the cousin actually be??

And Eddie had self control. In spades.

But the cousin was hot as fuck.

And their third hang out - this movie night - the cousin immediately plopped the finest ass in the tightest jeans next to him on the couch and paid actual attention to Eddie.

And he hadn’t reckoned on the cousin being so attentive... well.. It was flattering, particularly after a long dry spell.

And then there was the thing with the pizza which totally gave Eddie a semi and then he had to cover his lap with a pillow, but he didn’t think the cousin noticed until Argyle popped out of nowhere with (completely Unnecessary) commentary on the situation being romantic.

Eddie didn’t need this shit.

He actually didn’t feel like getting his heart busted in two again.

He was going to get Coffin on tour and hook up with hot groupies and that was the plan.

Not romance.

Just sex and METAL and maybe some drugs but not enough to fuck up the music-making, because the MUSIC was his life.

Only his dick wasn’t on board with the plan, apparently. Nor his hands, nor his mouth.

So now all of Eddie was in the cousins bed and all it took was the magic word “Stay” and he was compelled to comply.

Maybe he just needed this badly, he told himself.

The cousin was playful and inventive and surprisingly flexible. The cousin wanted to do things that Eddie thought of as third date or later sexual activities. The cousin held Eddie’s hand all night, cuddled into his side, smiling a little satisfied smile.

The cousin was like a dream.

Eddie didn’t want to fall in love - not now - but he felt it happening like a tail spin he couldn’t pull out of.

In the morning Eddie tucked some hair behind the cousins ear. “I should go. Should I sneak out so no one sees?” He asked.

“Can you stay, Eddie?”

This magic worked on him like nothing else ever had.

More dates, more sweetness, more laughs, a couple fights that ended with feeling closer than ever.

It didn’t occur to Eddie until he saw the cousin's suitcase on the step and the bus ticket was on the table that things were in fact dire and he didn’t want this ending.

“Stay here.” He conjured. “Stay with me.” He cast. “Stay mine.” ✨

[nonexistent-introvert]

Jealousy

Pairing: Joel Miler x f!reader

Word Count: 3k

Content: non-established relationship, third party, jealousy, hurt/comfort?, fluff, Joel is one dense idiot, confessions

A/N: This was the outcome of my drinking coffee at 10pm and not being able to fall asleep after that till 3am

Being dragged to a party was enough to ruin your day. It was already a taxing day, you had gone out for patrol early this morning and couldn’t even catch a break when you returned. Since the clinic needed extra help since it was flu season. When you were finally on your way back home, ready to crash into bed early today. You bumped into Tommy who wouldn’t take no for an answer, insisting that you must turn up for the party that Maria organized to welcome the new people into town. 

   The woman that was basically glued to Joel’s side did not help matters at all. Her arm was on Joel’s bicep as she laughed into his shoulder. You stood in the corner, annoyance clear on your face as you finished the bottle in your hand. Your vision was going blurry and the room spun around you. Your body was slumped against the wall, all the warning signs going off in your head that you should stop with the alcohol. 

  The only thing that was still clear in your mind was the vision of the two of them. The obnoxious laughter erupting from her and how her hands traveled Joel’s arm. 

  “Hey hey.” A hand waved in front of your blurry vision, making your head hurt even more. “It’s Tommy.” Tommy’s hands firmly gripped onto your shoulders, grounding you to reality. Your words slurred together as you muttered a greeting to him through your drunken stupor.

  “Jesus, how much did you drink? What has gotten into you?” Tommy exclaimed in disbelief over the loud music. You merely laughed in Tommy’s face, trying your best not to puke your guts onto him. 

  “I’ll take care of her.” Even in your drunken state, you recognized that voice immediately. “No.” You blurted out. “You don’t need help?” Tommy asked for good measure, Joel merely grunted in response. He put your hands around his shoulder to help you stand. The woman he was with appeared in your view again and you were suddenly reminded of the reason why you were in this state in the first place. “Fuck off.” You cursed, pushing Joel away from you before stumbling into a wall. Your head was spinning as you watched him get held back by the woman as you clumsily made your way out of the pub. 

    Joel calmly helped hold your hair back. You were bending over the grass, emptying the contents of your stomach into the field. A small hint of annoyance on his face at the fact that you had pushed him away and told him to “fuck off”. Concern was more evident on his face as he watched you. A series of curses escaped your mouth as you coughed, you felt humiliated that he had to watch you ungracefully vomit onto the grass. 

   Joel quietly handed you a bottle of water that he had brought. You gulped it down, the water sobering you up. Letting you comprehend the weight of your actions.Before you could do anything to push Joel away again, he swiftly bent down and wrapped your legs around his hips. “Don’t be difficult.” Joel warned, standing up to his full height with you on his back. 

==================+

   Joel woke up with a grunt, stretching his sore back. He really was getting on age. His first instinct was to check on you. He stood up, towering over you on his bed. He snickered upon watching you while he gently tucked you properly under the sheets. Joel should wake you up for patrol but he couldn’t bring himself to. Not when you would probably wake up with a bad hangover and you’re sleeping so soundly in his bed. His eyes stared at the mattress that he had slept on, it wasn’t like the both of you didn’t share a bed before. You slept in his bed often, he would wake up sprawled out in bed with his arms around you and your chin on his head. However, he still felt that it was wrong to be sleeping in the same bed as you when you were drunk. Especially when you had muttered to him drowsily, “You’re so handsome, I want to kiss you.” He shivered slightly at the memory of it, his whole body burning up and turning red at just the thought of it. 

    Yeah, he definitely wouldn’t survive the night if he had slept next to you. 

   Joel went to Tommy first to explain the situation. Tommy only sighed in defeat, telling Joel that he and any other available men were due for a visit to the dam to ensure that everything was ok for the winter. “You could just not do it today. I’ll send a bigger group tomorrow instead.’ Tommy suggested. There was an unspoken rule in Jackson, no one does patrols alone. “I’ll look around.” Joel replied he wasn’t one to put things off, preferring to get it done to prevent matters from snowballing. 

   Joel went around town, Jesse was busy with the preparations for the dam. Ellie was still knocked out from the party yesterday. He was at wit's end as he contemplated if he should wake you up instead. 

  “Joel! You’re up early.” Joel gave Julia a polite nod. “I have patrol,” he replied. Julia grinned, putting her hand on his shoulder and giving it a squeeze. “Stay safe.” He nodded, about to stride past her when the idea popped into his head. “Do you mind going to patrol with me?” he asked. Julia’s face brightened, a slight flush on her cheeks. “Yeah, yeah sure!” She agreed with no hesitation. 

   Julia was new. She doesn’t even know the route that Joel was taking today nor did she have the skills to ride a horse which was required for the longer route. It was the whole reason why Joel had told her to ride with him. “Stay close to me ya hear?” He instructed as he swiftly hopped onto his horse. “You say that like it’s a hard thing to do.” Julia smiled shyly. Julia was flirting with him. He cleared his throat awkwardly, averting his gaze elsewhere to distract himself. 

   His breath hitched in his throat when he saw you. You were dressed in his winter jacket, your eyes were on him. He watched as you turned away from him and walked away before he could even call you over. Joel chewed on his lip, he will talk to you when he’s back. 

=========================================

    The hangover was bad. Bad enough for you to not remember a single thing after you had blacked out on Joel’s back. Bad enough to not make you want to get up. You recognised the bed, it was Joel’s considering that it was a queen size bed. Yours was merely a single. You weren’t a stranger to Joel’s bed, you frequented it rather often for someone who wasn’t even in a relationship with him. There was mattress pulled out beside the bed, you assumed  Joel had slept on the mattress on the floor from the untidied blanket. You took the hangover pills that Joel had left for you at his bedside, heart warming at his small gesture. 

  The clock on his bedside reminded you that you woke up just in time to make it for your patrol. Despite feeling like there was someone pounding in your head, you still felt obligated to turn up as Joel’s partner. It was a responsibility and duty after all.

 You trudged in the cold snow, zipping the winter jacket that you had stolen from his closet. It was times like this that you wished you weren’t such a responsible person. You wished you would just stay in the comfort of his bed and rest. Joel was already saddled on his horse, behind him sat the woman from the bar yesterday, her arms wrapped tightly around Joel’s waist. You clenched your jaw, kicking at the snow at your boot. 

  He could have said something. You thought bitterly to yourself. Your gaze lingered on him, he must have noticed it considering how his eyes met yours from a distance. You turned away before you could gauge his reaction, dragging yourself back into the comfort of your own home.

==============================

   Joel stood at your door, holding onto a box filled with some cake. Maria baked the cake today and set Joel on the mission to bring you some as well. Although Tommy’s expression might have given away Maria’s hidden agenda. Joel likes to believe that he wasn’t dense, but he really can’t recall what he did to piss you off. However, it seems that Maria already knew from how she practically ordered Joel to bring you cake as a peace offering. 

  The first thing Joel noticed when you opened the door was your scowl. You usually smiled when you saw him. “I brought cake.” He announced, lifting the box in his hands. Your hand almost slammed the door right in his face upon hearing that. “Give it to Ellie.” You said, your eyebrows furrowing further. “Is this your purpose for visiting me?” You asked, Joel stumbled over his words in surprise. “Yea-” You took the box from his hands. “Thanks,” You forced out, “You can go now. Bye.” Joel's eyes widened as you closed the door on him. 

    “Hey!” Joel pushed against your door with his hands, stopping you. “What is your problem?” He snapped. You scoffed, “Since we are both so mad at each other, let’s just cut this interaction short.” He shook his head, “I just didn’t like how you’re treating me alright?” Joel defended, “We should be talking, stop acting like a child throwing a petty temper.” Joel scolded. You glared at him. Joel pushed past you, ignoring your glare, and sat down on your couch.  He patted the seat beside him, demanding that you sat next to him and talk to him. 

   “The hell was that? The hell is wrong with you?” He started. You resisted the urge to roll your eyes at his tone. “Let’s just say I’m not interested in the stupid cake she made for you.” You snarked. Joel tilted his head in confusion, “Maria?” he muttered, not understanding you. You closed your eyes in embarrassment, it was Maria who made the cake. “No- just-” You groaned in frustration. He waited beside you while you find the words to express yourself, his eyes scanning yours for any hints of what had made you upset. “I just thought you would have at least informed me beforehand.” Joel ran his hands through his hair, trying to tell what you were referring to. His eyebrows furrowed even further, “Oh, patrol. You’re upset that I left without you?” Joel asked, remembering how he had seen you turn away from him and walk back. He didn’t chase after you then, despite wanting to. He was already late, the sun was coming up and he had to admit that he struggled quite a long time before he found someone to be his partner. You wanted to dig a hole 6 feet under and bury yourself, how is Joel missing the main point that was pissing you off? “You could have told me you were going to patrol with someone else.” You stated. He sat up, “You mean Julia?”  You pushed down the bitter feeling at hearing him mutter her name. 

    “I thought you would appreciate the rest. The hangover must be bad.” He explained. You closed your eyes. The problem didn’t lie in him finding someone else to go for patrol with him, it was the fact that he got Julia, the woman who looked at him with literal heart shapes in her eyes. “But you aren’t just mad over that, are you? You were pretty mean to me yesterday too.” Joel continued. You panicked a little, wondering what you had done in your drunken state. “I- I just can’t stand Julia alright?” You admitted. “Come on, we both knew what she was trying to do right? And you let her.” 

  Joel pursed his lips, trying his best to bite back his smile. It finally clicked, you’re jealous. “What was she doing?” He challenged. In his defence, he only realised today what Julia was doing, that she was flirting with him. Your eyes widened, “Are you blind? You didn’t know?” You were exasperated, “She’s trying to get into your pants Joel, for lack of a better word.” Joel chuckled. “And that upset you.” You cursed internally, you walked straight into the stupid trap he had laid out for you. “I’m not jealous.” You lied blatantly, “It was just so attention seeking, I hate attention seekers.” You said, body relaxing. He grinned at your response and how you relaxed, he was finally getting to you. “I hate you Joel, stop playing dumb.” You shoved him. Joel laughed, “in my defense, I truly didn’t catch on till today.” 

   “What made you realise then? Did she finally achieve her goal?” You replied sarcastically. 

   “She kissed me. Everything fell into place after that.” Joel admitted. The silence was heavy, your mind was overcrowded with thoughts. 

================

   “Finally! The checkpoint! My feet were killing me.” Julia complained. Joel merely hummed in response, his mind going back to you. You never complained, hell you even liked the walks. Sometimes the both of you would even venture further because you liked walking while talking to Joel and he certainly didn’t mind. He flipped open the patrol book in the hut, signing his name and Julia’s into it. 

   His body stiffened significantly and he almost instinctively elbowed her. Julia had wrapped his arms around his waist while he was signing, he could feel her breath on his back as she leaned into him. Joel immediately turned, pushing her away gently as he pressed himself against the table, trying to put some distance between Julia and him. “What are you-“ 

   Her lips were on his. His mind short-circuited at her sudden action. Julia's lips moved against his and he jerked away, turning his head away from her. “I- what-“ he couldn’t even find the right words to say to her as he looked at her. “Joel, I’m sorry. I just can’t help it.” She started. She ran her hands through her hair, “I really like you, Joel. I-“ 

   “I don't. I don’t feel anything close to that for you.” Joel stated clearly. His tone was so cold while he glared daggers at her. “But- but you let me flirt. “ her words were background noise to him. That was what he got for being dense huh. He had honestly thought she was just being nice to him and so he too was nice to her. He didn’t expect to give her the wrong idea. 

   Everything else was a blur after that. Joel never rode so fast in his life back to Jackson. He could hear Julia sniffling behind him but he honestly couldn’t care less. Feeling extremely disgusted at her sudden gestures, that she had approached him with the agenda of something more. As though he would marry her at first sight or something. Joel is an old fashioned man, he didn’t believe in love at first sight, he firmly believed that you had to get to know someone before you could fall in love with them. 

=================

   All feelings of jealousy had left you already. You were bent over, cackling as Joel retold the events of today. “I don’t see anything funny.” He deadpanned. “Your face, Joel just imagine your face, the horror when she kissed you. She should have snapped a photo or something.” You laughed. Joel smiled, relieved to know that you weren’t upset anymore. “I can’t believe you got jealous.” He reminded you. You stopped laughing, “I wasn’t” “Yeah you keep telling yourself that.” He drawled. 

   “I don’t blame you. Thinking back, I would be jealous if I was in your shoes.” He said, his arm was over your shoulder now. Your legs were thrown over his lap while your head leaned against his arm behind you. The tension between the both of you is long gone. “A man coming to you, laughing with his hands all over you. Then riding off into the sunrise with you. Nah I doubt that, he probably won’t even survive the night at the bar, he definitely won’t be your partner for patrol the next day.” “Ok sounds like violent tendencies to me.” You joked. He smiled. 

   “Being jealous tends to apply to people in a relationship.” Joel pointed out. “Being jealous of people getting too close doesn’t usually apply to close friends or whatever we are.” You knew what he was getting at, the line of being just friends has been blurred between the both of you for the longest time. “Would you be my boyfriend?” You asked in a mocking voice. A voice that reminded you of a schoolgirl trying to confess to their hallway crush. He laughed, “Took you long enough.” You nudged him, “Aren’t guys supposed to make the first move?” “Well, Julia made the first move.” He teased “Fine! Go back to her then.” You rolled your eyes.

   Joel cupped your cheek and pressed his lips to yours, effectively silencing you. He was gentle like he was afraid of scarring or breaking you. When he pulled away, he looked at you with a boyish smile. “You’re so handsome I want to kiss you.” He imitated your voice yesterday.

   There was no way you said that. You recognised that he was mocking you but you had zero recollection of saying that. He must be just teasing you right? “You might have whispered that into my ear when I placed you down on my bed before snoring loudly seconds later,” Joel said. Your jaw dropped in horror, “You’re lying. I don’t snore.” You defended, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. “That is the most attractive thing ever. I definitely wouldn’t remember it wrongly.” You hid your face in his shoulder, you wished you were six feet under now. “Please forget it.” You muttered. He chuckled. 

   “If I had forgotten it, I wouldn’t have kissed you.”

  It was weird how jealousy had brought the both of you together. 

[ask-lord-starscream]

(OOC post)

(More details for those who were worried, I had my wrist checked out by two paramedics without much of a conclusion. I tried to stay for the rest of our thing last night (would’ve lasted till 10pm) but the ladies running the thing went mom mode on me and made me go home. Honestly? I was in so much pain I was crying so then I was nauseous so instead of taking the pain meds they handed me, I took some tums. I did have to go home and I had someone care for me until they determined it was time for me to sleep. They emailed my director and he said one hand was better then none because I am quite an important part in our team but honestly? I was planning to use both hands and deal with the repercussions after. It’s the LAST competition. I want to give my all.)

(That was what happened now about my wrist. It was hurting for some months before this but the pain was so small and I was having other problems (like my SI joint being out etc) so I ignored it. At my performance last night, I was really using my wrist incredibly roughly and our largest chunk of the night- I fucked it up. It was agony if I didn’t hold pressure on it specifically on either side.)

(Anywho, the transportation to get to the competition is long and I’ve been on tumblr like normal before on past competitions so I can be here but I’ll let you guys know when I have to go for a bit)

@myloveforfanfictonisendless @silenceofthewave @afloatindarkness @seekeraircaptain @shatteredhope123

[orionsgirl7lovegoodravenclaw]

@wolfstarmicrofic

Word count: 865

CW: child abuse referenced. WolfStar rescue mission.

UNCLE

7/1/23

Sirius was livid. Absolutely enraged! Remus had done all he could to calm down his boyfriend, but there was nothing left to it. They would have to leave, that night, to collect Harry right away. It had been a struggle to begin with for them to convince the Dursley’s to allow visits with Harry once a month. But they had gone on two months now with being banned from seeing him, and not having a single letter from him in all that time as well. When Remus had come home to the letter from Ron, their godson's best friend, saying he had a really bad feeling about Harry’s well-being, Remus was hesitant to tell his boyfriend. He knew Sirius might overreact, and he knew he’d have every right to. But he too had this terrible, bad feeling somewhere inside of his gut, screaming at him to do something.

After he talked it through with Sirius, they sent an owl to Dumbledore requesting permission to extract Harry from that hell hole permanently. But to no avail, Dumbledore never wrote back. This did not improve the temper tantrum ensuing, from his very emotional boyfriend. Finally, three days after the letter was sent, an owl came with a response. Not from Albus, but from Mcgonagall, stating plainly, to not wait on the headmaster, and to go get the boy now. After Sirius had broken some dishes and rampaged around the house, Remus calmed him down enough to talk about how they would do it. An hour later, around about 10pm when the sun was down and it was cold and dark out, they had pulled up to privet drive on Sirius’s new motorbike.

The lights were off in most of the house except for the lounge room where the flickering resonance of the television was evident. Remus had begged Sirius to ‘stay calm’ and be rational, but it was a losing battle. The other had banged hard on the door till Harry’s uncle answered it looking pink in the face and disheveled, in his nightwear and bathrobe. After many harsh words between the three of them, Sirius had finally pushed past and made his way up the stairs yelling for Harry. Remus had followed, leaving Vernon to cuss them both out, and he felt a sinking feeling when there was no response from their godson.

Sirius was banging on the locked door of Harry’s room, looking panicked as he yelled and called but yielded no response. After Vernon confirmed the door was locked by him, and he had no intention to unlock it, Remus held Sirius back from beating the man to death, and he held him fast to his chest, telling him he would open the door.

Pulling out his wand, still holding Sirius, Remus unlocked the door, revealing Harry asleep on his bed, laying haphazardly like he was placed there without a care. There was blood on his face, and his glasses were cracked, and his clothes were torn, there were marks and blood on the skin visible there too. Remus’s skin prickled, and his stomach churned at the sight. Harry had been beaten badly, and then was locked away like trash. Sirius had come out of his rage and ran to the boy, scooping him up trying to rouse him, but Remus, he was the one now seeing Red.

He turned around in the doorway to see Harry’s uncle standing on the landing looking stoic and unashamed at what he’d done. Remus walked over to him, hands in fists, shaking from head to toe.

“Why!” Was all he could growl out at the overweight man standing before him.

“Because! I told him no funny business, and he went and made my Dudley grow a pigs tail! A tail! Do you know the type of doctors we have to go and see to get that sorted out?”

“HE IS 11 YEARS OLD! HE’S JUST A CHILD!”

Remus didn’t care about the reason anymore, it was a stupid one anyways. He balled his fists up so tight, then pulled back and punched Vernon Dursley square in the nose effectively breaking it, and sending him down the stairs in a right tumble. Satisfied, he rushed into the room to see Sirius had barely roused Harry, but the boy was too weak to stay awake long. They made it past Vernon, and out the front door, where they climbed onto the motorbike, Remus holding onto Harry behind Sirius, who drove off back to their home.

When they finally got Harry healthy enough to wake and eat something, he cried in their arms apologizing to them, and begging to never go back. Sirius had cried with him and held him as Remus looked him dead in the eyes and said, “Harry, baby, you will never go back to that house again if it’s the last thing we do! You hear me? You are home now, with us! You are our boy! Not theirs, and we will never let your uncle hurt you again.” Joining in the hug Remus whispered to the crying child over and over again, “I love you sweet boy, we love you. It’s ok, you’re safe now.”

[a-noodle-named-daemon]

So, this has been a bit of a chaotic week!

Fed Daemon on Tuesday, but he refused for the first time since bringing him home. I think it might’ve been me offering too early, since I usually offer around 9-10pm and this time I did so around 6-7pm. 😔 I left the rat in for a while, then heated it up and tried offering again around three times, but he just completely ignored it, even climbed right on top of and then past it.

He came out and explored at the regular time he does, and I did find fresh poop and urates the next day, so I don’t know, can they refuse food because they are about to poop?

Either way I’m not super concerned about that since he’s acting normal and I did offer too early, so I’ll wait till his next scheduled feed day and offer again then. He’s been eating regularly just fine so I’m not worried about him being harmed in any way by one missed meal.

Then yesterday, I found what appeared to be termite frass on one of the cork bark pieces. 😰 We DONT have termites where I live, but the cork pieces came from the US, so if it was termite frass they could’ve come with it? I’m not worried about Daemon since BPs in the wild live a lot of the time inside termite mounds, and there can’t have been that many if I haven’t seen the actual bugs, but I am worried about yknow. My wooden enclosure and my apartment.

It’d been exactly a month since getting him home anyway, about time for a deep clean, so I took everything out, soaked the wood (someone suggested termites would float up when I soaked it and that didn’t happen, so maybe they were only on the cork?) and disinfected everything with chloraxesadine soap and vinegar water, cleaned the plants and water bowl and hides and then completely removed and changed the substrate.

I struggled to place everything back exactly as it was so there’s a somewhat new arrangement to things; someone said that’s actually enriching, but since he’s still new (only had him for 4 weeks) I’m worried he’ll be stressed out. I’ll leave him alone for 10 days or so to see if he gets used to it 💛

[soul-skaterz]

It was a cold crisp night in the middle of autumn of course it would be cold and I didn’t want to walk home in this night breeze it was cold and i had a thin layer of clothes on “I’m such a idiot i thought it would be warm nearly winter and all i was stupid not to bring a jacket with me”. I only had a thin jumper on and shorts that were summer not jeans of course they would of kept me warmer.

I am not even home yet just walking through a park with only a phone light the street lamps were not even good lighting at this time off the night, as I was walking I heard a noise in a bush close by I just thought of it as a racoon or mouse rustling for food because it was hungry or gathering food for the winter.

To my surprise it jumped right out in front of me I froze with fear as it stared at me with those big red eyes glaring at me, I turned around slowly then ran some miles till I was pounced on it clawed my chest and bite my arm I screamed in pain and anguish. I took my knife out my pocket stabbed it till it ran off.

I was bleeding quite a bit i took my jumper off and ripped my shirt to make a bandage till i got home and bandaged it all up before that I put some cream on to ease the pain from the bite and claw marks.

I was having nightmares from all this I tried to sleep but I couldn't I was wide awake as the morning sun came up around 5am I was tired and had no energy but to sleep all day But i had to get up for school of course that made me angry. So I got up and got dressed covered my body with long tops and pants to hide my injuries I just wanted school to end so badly so I could go home and sleep I was so tired.

I could hardly stay awake till the bell rang for that school is over! finally.

I walked the long way home to think about how I can find out what’s going in my life and how to fix it. And maybe get my life on track again after this ordeal was over.

I came home and was just to exhausted to even walk up the stairs they were quite steep eventually I got up stairs to my room closed the door behind me just collapsed on my bed dozed off I was so tired. The bags under my eyes looked like I was high or something from lack of sleep and people thought I was crazy and saw things or even heard voices in my head. To tell the truth i was tired from the night i was attacked as it gave me nightmares all night i didn’t sleep at all I was afraid and scared.

It was roughly 10pm I was sound asleep when i felt a hot fever coming over me so i took my clothes of to feel a bit cooler and less hot, It was a full moon tonight it’s so beautiful the moon the way it shines so bright in the sky. It’s the middle of autumn not even summer yet why am I so hot and really sweaty it’s freezing cold tonight, I was looking in the mirror at my scars the claw marks they were all healed up the bandage I put on was gone!, I was just about to go to sleep again when my hands starting to grow into some dog or claw like form what’s going on?, my legs were doing the same thing what’s happening to me!.

My body was changing and i didn’t know why, It’s like I’ve had a curse put on me but I’ve done no wrong something felt like it was taking control of me and i couldn’t fight it i fell to my knees in pain the crunching of bones moving there was a sharp pain then i noticed a long straight bunch of hair was right down my back gross someone help me!. My legs were starting to grow up like a bean sprout and they were forming to skin bone,my mouth my body was forming into some dog like creature,then I was gone it took over me.

Then I wake up covered in blood and I was naked what happened Nast night one minuet i was seeing myself change then nothing, I had to get home quickly before someone saw me it was nearly sunrise. I try and remember what just happened to me from Nast night there are a few things I remember like my hands forming into some claw like shape. My legs were doing the same then my mouth was growing out into a jaw like form then nothing.

I really need to write these strange happenings all down so I can try and do some research on it or try find out some known cure for it.

It was summer finally I had lost so much weight from not eating or even trying to sleep the past few nights or is it days? I don’t care I really am to depressed about what has become of me over this past week. I had to go on with life but why should I every night I change into a beast of pure evil it’s like I am inside it somewhere but I cant seem to come out. Or try turn back to normal it has a power of me that I don’t control.

I had no courage to tell anyone or my best friends as to why I had no sleep or even tried to keep quiet when i was in pain from transforming into this,this thing they would think I’m crazy or a psychotic person that needs to be in a mental hospital. I am so scared to have this happening to me every night how long till i crack and just end it all to be finally at peace no more pain or suffering.

I just have to do some more research about this werewolf curse the library should supply some books on it and to find a cure before it’s to late. Otherwise ill be stuck like this forever a whole decade of pain,fever who know’s I’m only on stage 1 of this transformation there must be more stages until I am fully transformed into the pack leader or something worse. I cant imagine what.

[journey-of-the-ip]

Thursday June 6th

I guess I’m starting a new day even though it’s still the middle of the night in home time.

Bleghh kinda finished the flight zombie mode. The flight was only 8-9 hours which is pretty short imo, and I only “slept” probably like an hour or two? Probably less honestly. It’s crazy with map projections we took a short cut over the top of the globe cause that’s how globes work. Weird.

Upon landing I finally figured out the roaming data with Mint but my coverage is garbage and I couldn’t get signal in most of the airport.

Also the airport WiFi wasn’t working so I was like damn, also I walked past and then subsequently couldn’t get back to the SIM card shop in the airport double damn. I also walked past and couldn’t get back to the money exchange in the airport. Triple damn.

I was anxious that my credit card would be declined and I wouldn’t have any euros so I wandered around a bit by t didn’t really get anywhere, brain was feeling very shot so I just went up to the taxi stand which luckily was really easy to find and got a taxi to my hotel.

Card was accepted, all is good. Is this frontal lobe anxiety finally kicking in? (Albeit too late for me to have done anything about it) I guess just need to practice being more proactively anxious.

At the hotel, I can’t check in until 2 (it’s 11 at this point) so I have 3 hours to kill till I can brush my teeth, shower, and feel human. Also it’s HOT which makes sense because it’s June but Seattle has lulled me into a false sense of security. This trip is gonna be sweaty.

Anyways my hotel is near the airport which means it’s near nothing interesting. I’m between a Nissan dealership and an IKEA.

I have a long vent about globalization which I hopefully get back to because I’m writing this as I’m waiting to check into my room still.

Luckily, seems like there’s a shopping mall about a 15 min walk from the hotel so I go there and grab a bite to eat and hide in the air conditioning for a while. i didn’t realize how ravenous I was bc I wasn’t really craving any of my snacks, classic. After I made my way back to the hotel where I am now.

Schleepy. Hopefully will write more later.

Okay I slept from 3-8pm and then from 10pm-2am. It’s now 7:14. I guess I’m still including this in the day before because I don’t have any pictures yet and these thoughts are from yesterday. Anyways here is my vent I was too sleepy to transcribe yesterday.

Being here is kind of uncanny. Except for a few things, you could easily mistake this place for the US, or Mexico City. Most of the stores I see are international brands. At the mall I saw Starbucks, Sephora, guess, H&M, etc etc. when I was looking for food, I saw Italian, sushi, frozen yogurt. It felt like being in any other urban mall. (One store I thought was funny was straight up the Aliexpress store?? It was like a cross between a dollar store and one of those stupid tech shops that had like massagers in the early 2000s.

Of course some things are different, I found a more traditional tapas place and got some food you wouldn’t normally see in the US. Everyone smokes here, drinking is much more casual, and they’re fond of this weird sloped escalator that’s like half way between an escalator and those airport fast walk things. Maybe it’s wheel chair accessible? But that thing is still pretty steep idk

I’m also not in a touristy spot but like, I feel like the mall I went to was a very authentic local person mall. The people just looked like normal Spanish people not tourists. Even so, Everyone here speaks English, they had an English menu ready for me, it’s all so… samey? Easy? Idk

I think this is part of why I’m not caring as much about traveling these days. Why spend all that money to just go, be somewhere with a slightly different skin? Anything I could want I could personally also get on Amazon, or at my own malls, idk.

I’m going Morocco will be more different. This is definitely bias but it feels like different == poorer. Where cities if given the option will homogenize into a globalized urban center.

When I reflect back, I feel like Saigon had more character and differences even though it also felt like a global city. Anyways.

Gonna chill and rest here until late morning and then hopefully stay out all day today. We’ll see.

[dt365-2024]

4/9/2024 7:10PM

I woke up this morning with my chest feeling heavy. I didn’t sleep till 4am. I woke up at 9am. Late to bring Mason to school. In my head, I thought well that’s the first failure I’ve done as a single mom. Could I do this? Eric woke me up with a call asking if I brought Mason to school and I said I will but he would be late but he would need to be here by 10am to drop off Mikayla’s ballet shoes from his car. I thought about how Eric must be reveling in how hard it’ll be for me being a single mom and how he’s just waiting until I come back to him. He could have taken Mason to school. He could have taken Mikayla to ballet this morning but he didn’t even offer. I made his take Mason to school anyways because Mikayla was running late for ballet. I felt heavy when I was there. Was it the lack of sleep? I didn’t know. I felt numb, achy. Like something stuck in my throat. I was able to watch her recital performance from the inside and I recorded it but I struggled to enjoy it. I still felt the same as I did when I was with Eric. I wondered if I had made the right choice. Tammy texted me, I didn’t respond back. I didn’t want to talk about it. I thought about talking to Lani or biggie, but I couldn’t do it. I felt so empty and heavy beyond words. I took Mikayla to McDonald’s for a happy meal then went home to eat her lunch. I took a nap before I had to get Mikayla ready for school, I woke up still feeling heavy after I dropped her off to school. I forced myself to go to Sam’s Club and get two more books in the ACOTAR series, and then forced myself to visit a cafe I’ve always wanted to go since I haven’t eaten yet. I went to Gäbi coffee house. It was cute. There were a lot of tourists there, people with accents. I found a seat and read a few chapters of ACOTAR. I’m almost at the end. I ate avocado toast and a green tea latte. I spent $25. Expensive, but I needed to treat myself. Afterwards, I felt a bit refreshed. Still a bit heavy, but better. I listened to Landslide as a I drove to the kids school to pick them up- Maelyn and Marshall spent the day with Eric btw and he took them to the park and sent me pictures of them with the ducks at the park. I thought about how if I made the right decision again. How I should be there for the kids. But I have to accept that I won’t be there the whole time anymore. And then I thought about how this was his intention-to make me feel that guilt, that jealously, all a plot for me to get back together with him. I picked the kids up and took Mikayla to Walmart to pick up what she wanted for her bday. She got a bike, helmet, toy phone, and I got the kids and her classmates some stuff too. Spent over $200. But it is her birthday after all. 5 is a big number. I should have hosted a party but I can’t afford it because Eric isn’t working. And I have to pay for his registration. It makes me angry. How I have to pay for his car, insurance, registration - and I get it. He doesn’t work. But he won’t even offer to take the kids to school or pick them up. I have to do it still. Little traits like this, I realize how selfish he is. How selfish he has always been. He brought the two kids over to drop them off. He could have watched them overnight at his parents but he didn’t. Again. Selfish. He picked up some clothes to wear tomorrow. I asked for help to move the broken TV and worn down tv stand but he didn’t help. He just left. Again. Selfish.

We talked a bit about his plans for getting a job and studying. How he’s considering himself a single dad. He’s not begging for me back. He isn’t sad. Literally took him fast to recover. I wonder sometimes if he truly loved me or if he just loved the vision of what we represented-a complete family. But the answer doesn’t bother me. It doesn’t hurt like it did two years ago.

[blog-reflection]

ONE / FIVE - They would be Hot Together

I tried to follow the noises and made my way upstairs. The door of her room was just a tad open, so I gave it a look. Nothing. I’ve seen nothing. Where the hell did the noise come from if not from this very room? I mean Mildret’s just lying in the bed head’s down. It looks like she’s crying but I can’t really tell. I tried to talk to her but as soon as I moved the door a bit Mildret stood up and rushed towards me smashing the door into my face and closing it afterwards. Well, I tried. I’m not even surprised that this has happened. Sometimes it’s unbearable to watch how similar I am to her. We never talk about feelings and if people try we just kick them out. That’s how our generation of “The Falls” deals with these kinds of things. 

Well since there is nothing to do I decided to grab my headphones from my room and go downstairs to clean up the mess I’ve started to work on in the kitchen. It took some time but the music made it less annoying. I’ve never been a fan of cleaning but I noticed that it can be sort of fun if you dance and simply don’t care. After I finished I made myself a smoothie before heading back to my room. If Mildret can stay there the whole day I sure can too. I checked Discord for either notifications or if someone was online. Luckly, one of my friends from Royal Holloway was online. 

Her name is Lucia, Lucia Alessia Amantea. She came to the UK for her health studies around 2 years ago. This year is her final year, and I don’t know how I’ll deal with this all once she’s back home. I decided to text her a simple “Hi <3” before laying down on my bed and listening to the podcast. I looked at the ceiling for a while until I noticed that I was getting quite sleepy. I thought why not and layed myself to rest. A few hours later, I got up. It was 10pm by now and I wasn’t able to sleep at all. My Discord was dying due to a stack overflow on messages from Lucia. She asked if I was fine, if I needed to talk, the basic friend things people always say when they have a weird feeling about some other person. I just texted her that everything was fine but a glance on her insta made clear that I will not get an answer this day. Lucia is everything and nothing you could expect out of a person. She has a star record in school, being the teacher's pet and studying a lot while still being the hottest girl on every teenage party on the campus. Sadly, she had to move rooms so that she has a “roomy” now. I don’t know her name but Lucia says she’s really nice. They talk a lot but also not. She parties sometimes but prefers being out in bigger cities like London. She’s in her second year and to be honest, Lucia has no plan on why she has a “roomy” now, but at least she’s not that alone then. I personally haven’t seen her. I rarely visit schools in general and even fewer friends once I’m there. But when I'm at schools like Royal Holloway, I try to catch the people I care about for a cup of tea in the main building or something similar. Sometimes when we speak, we notice the language barrier between the two of us, especially when I use some sub english slang no person knows outside of the UK. But Lucia is also teaching me Italian in return. It’s not easy but I managed to learn quite well within the first year. That’s also the reason on how we got to know each other. Through Erasmus and a Scholarship, Lucia managed to get into Royal Holloway, but she was drowning in application letters and so on, so she decided to call for help. I was the one answering her call. And then, on her first week we met in one of the many hallways. She was confused about finding one of the rooms so I showed her. I talked a lot with her on the way, so much that I waited till her lesson was over to show her around for a second time. 

Lucia was one of the people I connected with almost instantly. We lowkey had the same interests and surprisingly the same taste in music. It didn’t take long until both of us exchanged out discord tags so we started messaging each other. I also watched her participate in a basketball match. I didn’t understand what happened there but it was nice to see the passion in her eyes all the time. Lucia is a really passionate woman in general. No matter if it’s the studies, partying or playing games, Lucia is always full of joy. I think that’s one of the things I enjoy most about her, and her looks. She would fit really well together with Jesse to be honest, especially when going out. I don’t think they would be a cute couple though. They would be hot together yes but as far as I know Jesse, they would think the same. Lucia isn’t really their type. I just messaged her “è ok tesora” which is shit Italian for it’s okay darling. And yes don’t blame my Italian skills, it's all part of the learning process.

I also started up all the dating apps I have on my phone. I just want to see if something interesting has happened. But no. No Mx. Right being there, obviously. I’m not a big fan of dating apps to be fair but I’m also really needy sometimes so I think they do their job. I feel like a lot of people just tinder or whatever because they are bored and want to judge people. I mean that’s why I downloaded it. Waiting till you find the right person there that makes you happy? Fck that. People on dating apps can be really gross and I’m happy I haven’t met so many yet. Gosh sometimes I hate people. They can make you feel miserable and unwanted for so many reasons. I already have a hard time connecting with people, even though that is what I lowkey do for a living. Everytime I try to get in touch with someone I try so hard not to be cringe and weird but I just make everything worse. Some of my friends called me an underdog for a long period of time. It’s stupid because even an Underdog shines bright as the night light. I think often people try to be nice while acting really selfish. I mean I do too. I'm selfish but at least I admit it. If I don't want to meet anyone I don't. I have my reasons. Others may not understand them but well, I simply don't care. I don't care what others think of me. I already assume they hate me so it's either proven right or I get a pleasant surprise. Not that either happened. 

Well enough drowning in thoughts already. I shut down my PC and turned alexa on again to play some of the older episodes of my favorite podcast. It’s 2 in the morning so I try to sleep really fast, which I did. I’m also sorry for my blog but I don't have the time to write it tomorrow so I just wrote it the night before! I hope that whoever is reading this will not be upset with me.

I wonder what tomorrow holds.

[mxsonxmountx]

MM x safe inside

Word count: 955

Requested: Yes/No

Requests: Open/Close

Bold: Mason

Italics: you

 -------

Will you call me and tell me that you’re alright

Breaking up with Mason was hard, the hardest break up you’ve had to deal with. Being together since you was both 15 and then ending things 6 years later, wasn’t the way how you’d expect things to go. You’ve ignored all of his calls, messages, basically anything to do with him you’ve avoided. Even coming down to the point of ignoring his family, something that you didn’t really want to do but it was the only way how you’d cope. You was laying on your bed on evening, face and hair mask applied not wanting to talk to anyone, your phone goes off for the fourth time within 5 minutes, you didn’t want to answer but you couldn’t ignore it anymore time then you already have. “Ben? Hello? Are you okay?” “Finally you answered, I just want-“soon as you didn’t recognise bens voice you hanged up the phone. You wasn’t in the right headspace to be talking to Mason just yet, if you was going to talk to him you wanted it to be on a clear mind with zero distractions. You drifted off to sleep, which was for the best. Later in the afternoon your phone lit up and it was a message from mason, “will you call me and tell me you’re alright, cause I worry about you”. You gave in and phoned him, but thankfully for you it went to voicemail, you wanted to talk to him but not like this. You wasn’t too sure what to say except from “I guess you’re busy, but I only wanted to tell you that I’m alright, I’m doing fine and I hope you are too”  

  -------

If you’re home I just hope that you’re sober

Drinking was one of you downfalls. You’d drink constantly if you could, breaking up with mason and the amount of alcohol you was in taking on a daily basis wasn’t the greatest but it was how you was coping. It was a Saturday night in Mayfair, a normal place where you’d spend the odd night out clubbing with his and your friends. You was always up for a girl’s night but you couldn’t face it yet going back there with the girls, facing all the good times you and him had together so you settled for a quite night in. Takeaway and movie night in for one is what you needed, you knew that everyone would be questioning where you are but you needed time alone. It was around midnight, you’re on your fourth romcom, and you’ve had drunk calls from your friends already which you wouldn’t expect anything less. Time went on, more drunk messages came from your friends, and more missed calls also. You wanted to call it a night before you did anything that you would regret, you did you skin care routine and got into bed, your phone went off thinking it was just a notification but it wasn’t, it was multiple messages from Mason.

From Mason:

“If youre home, I just hope that youre sober x”

“I miss you x”

“I was stupid, please give me another chance x”

“I haven’t been drinking, I need you x”

  -------

I won’t sleep till you’re safe inside… Thank your lucky stars that you’re still alive it’s a beautiful life

It’s been 6 months since you’ve broken up with Mason, you moved on, or at least you thought you’d move on. Seeing him out with other girls ruined you more than you though it would. Your contact with his friends improved for a short while then it all stopped. Nobody could get in contact with you, family, friends, work friends and his family. Everything went to voicemail, they knew that this break up hasn’t done neither of you good but now it’s affected you more than you’d know. Sleepless nights was more often, going for walks was something that you could only do past 10pm so you wouldn’t have to talk to anyone. One night you took yourself for a walk where you both used to go as a child, it was comfort to you, you and mason used to spend hours there together so you thought it would be perfect to go there. Not expecting to see anyone you was only in jogging bottoms and a baggy t-shirt, to your knowledge mason was also there, did you want to turn back? Yes you did, did you actually turn back? No you didn’t. “y/n? is that you?” “Hi mase, I wasn’t expecting to see you here” “I knew you’d come here eventually. I wanted to see if you” “I’m fine, you’ve seen me now now you can leave” just as you left, he tugged on your wrist “everyone’s been worried about you. Me, my family, the boys, your friends. Everyone” “they don’t need to be worried about me, I’ve told you that I’m fine” “you can’t fool me, please come back to mine for the night. The spare room is yours. I won’t sleep knowing you’re out here alone, you’ve been crying, drinking constantly-““how do you know about the drinking?” “I haven’t finished, you haven’t had a good night’s sleep in months. Please, come with me I won’t sleep till you’re safe inside” You gave in shortly after and went back to his, maybe it’s what you both needed, closure from everything. The next morning he didn’t wake you up early, how he used too, he let you wake up when you was ready. Without any hesitation you went to hug him for the first time in 6 months. “Thank you’re lucky stars that you’re still alive, it’s a beautiful life” “I’m always thanking my lucky stars for you”

[bivwifeybunny]

Just around the corner, darlin'

Pairing: Southern!Sapnap x reader

Warning(s): mentions of sex, nothing else just fluff :)

A/N: I found this fic that I wrote 3 months ago just sitting within my other docs. And it was southern!sapnap so i just had to put it out. It was just in time for Southern Saturday after all. southern!sapnap has my whole entire heart fr <333 anyways, hope you enjoy :D

It’d been getting lonely without him. And hot as hell. Even at 10pm, it had barely calmed down, now only at an uncomfortably warm level.

I missed him pulling up in his big ol’ pickup truck, just to drive us out to the river again. I missed his sweet southern charm, his even sweeter nicknames.

What I wouldn’t give for him to pull up to our apartment and whisk me away. Greet me with a “Hey darlin’” or a “Hey there sweetheart.”. I’d follow him to the ends of the Earth if it meant I got to see his sweeter than honey smile and hear his endless slew of cheesy nicknames said in a way that I can only describe that was just so Sapnap.

I miss the days we would spend all day down at the river. Drinking, laughing, messing around. Just… being. Being together. Those days would almost always end in tangled limbs and soft giggles, exploring each other's bodies as if it were the first time. Before that dissolved into soft gazes and warm cuddles. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I gazed over at the calendar, a grin overtaking my features. Only a week left till summer break. Till I see him again. My attention was stolen once more by my phone as it rang out, my smile only growing.

“Hey darlin’.”

“Hey yourself, baby.”

“Miss me?”

“Like crazy.” I breathed out, running a hand through my hair, even if I could hear him, it still twisted my heart that I couldn’t see him just yet.

“Aw, ’missed you too, sweetheart. But I think I know somethin’ that’ll help us both.”

“Really? What is it?” I started suspiciously. I would take whatever he offered, but nothing would beat him being here with me. I narrowed my eyes at the window as a loud honk rang out from outside, or was it coming from Sapnap's end? Wait what?

“Why don’t you take a look outside sugar?”

“..Sapnap, did you really?” I made my way to the window.

“I sure did, now ‘urry up and get out here, I don’t think I could wait any longer tuh see you, baby.”

I didn’t bother hanging up, stuffing my phone into my hoodie pocket and running outside. My bare feet hit the warm concrete as I ran towards him. We wore matching grins as I ran into his arms and hugged him like my life depended on it.

He picked me up and held me just as tight, hands going to hold my thighs and lips pressing anywhere they would reach.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were comin’ home early?” I pulled my face back to look at his. I cupped his face and pressed kisses all over his face.

That damn laugh. It was more accurately described as a giddy little giggle, like a kid who was damn near bursting at the seams to tell you a secret.

“‘Was a surprise. Wanted to see your reaction.” He beamed up at me.

“Well, were you happy with what you saw?”

“More than happy, sugar.” He looked up at me with an adorable smile.

So adorable that I couldn’t stop myself from leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to his lips. It had gone too long since I’d been able to do that so I was definitely going to make up for it for the rest of the summer.

Unfortunately I was forced to pull away when the lack of air became too strong, but that only made me feel even more like I was floating on cloud nine. I leaned my forehead against his, gazing at his goofy grin, identical to my own. I traced along his browline, all the way down to the apples of his cheeks.

“I missed you.”

“Me too darlin’. Don’t worry though, m’all yours fur the rest of the summer.”

“I can’t wait.”

[avengersbtch]

I NEED YOU - JACK HARLOW

Jack Harlow X Reader

ANGST!!! Some fluff too :) 

Warnings: Just swearing. Also didn’t really proofread. It’s too much I’m sorry.

Word: 5.7k ahhhhhh

Summary: You & Jack have been together since forever; you mean the world to each other. Now that he’s get bigger & bigger, he is spending less and less time with you.

Note: I haven’t written a fic in like 4 years... so if it’s shit soz. 

You and Jack were ride or die; you had watched him work his way to the top right by his side with one hundred percent of your support. After graduating high school, Jack continued to pursue his dream while you went on to get a full-time job to keep up with bills and living. A job you thought would be temporary, you excelled at and enjoyed tremendously, of course this never came in-between you and Jack’s relationship. Jack knew how to prioritise you plain and simple. He would do anything for you, as would you. You had been by his side throughout it all, you were the one person he could rely on throughout his claim to the top.

After months and months of touring you had decided to move to LA to be with Jack more. Although moving to LA meant losing your job and leaving your life at home, you missed him and knew he would be in LA for a while till he got back home so you made the sacrifice and found a new job closer to him. It was perfect in the beginning, just as Jack said it would be. You would come home from work and find him home from the studio already, you would wake up in his arms like you missed. It was perfect. Then things got crazier for Jack, and he spent more time at the studio, you knew this was coming so you weren’t disappointed nor annoyed, this was his job at the end of the day – it wasn’t a normal 9-5. You had separate lives you wanted to live and both of you were living your lives simultaneously. Along the way you began spending less and less time together and although you shared a home, it became almost impossible to spend more than a minute together.

Jack was spending late nights at the studio for his upcoming new album, he wouldn’t come home sometimes till 2-3am while you were falling asleep early for work 6am wake ups. Then phone calls with each other slowed down up until they stopped, and you began texting.

You: Hey Baby, do you know what time you’ll be home today?

Jack: Nah, still at the studio. Hopefully soon.

You: Ok, I’m making dinner at about 6. Do you think you’ll be home by then?

Jack: I’ll try baby, love you

You: Love you too xx

You made dinner that night at 6, like you told Jack. Dinner was done at about 6:45 and Jack still wasn’t home, so you decided to wait half an hour. Half an hour became an hour and decided to check if it was worth waiting any longer,

You: baby, dinner is ready will you be home soon?

Jack: yeah soon.

This brought a small smile to your face, you weren’t sure how soon, soon was but you opted to plate you and his food so it would be ready to re-heat when he came home

An hour became two until you checked the time again and it was now 10pm and you still hadn’t eaten. You weren’t angry, you were just disappointed, it had been 2 days since you properly saw him. He would come home in the early hours of the morning, and you would wake up not long after he fell asleep. It was like a game of catch; he would come home to you sleeping and you would wake up to him sleeping. Instead of looking like a clingy girlfriend, you ate your dinner alone yet again.

You knew Jack got caught up at the studio, he was a hard worker, the type that gets so engrossed he loses track of reality. It was something you admired about him.  You only hated when his incredible work ethic came between your relationship, not that it happened often, it just seemed to be happening more and more often as of late. After eating, you dished and left his plate on the dinner table for him to re-heat when he got back home.

The next morning you woke up to Jack’s chest as usual and his heavy breathing. You felt his chest rise and fall suggesting his deep sleep. You smiled softly and got up to give him a quick peck on the lips.

“Hey Baby” You mumbled on his lips, embracing him further knowing you probably wouldn’t see him again till tomorrow morning. All you got was a soft grunt in return earning a small chuckle from you. You tapped his chest lightly while getting up to get ready for work “ mhmm love you to jay” You responded as though you were having a conversation with him.

This routine continued for another two days. You would come home to an empty house, message jack and asked when he would be home, he would respond with “soon” and you would wait as much as you could. Then eat alone, then fall asleep alone and wake up to him near you in bed. Then repeat.

Day number five you decided not to text him, you cooked dinner at 6 and ate at 7, plated some food for Jack to come home to and packed everything else away. You watched TV to kill time and were in bed by 10pm this time. It was killing you, you missed him so much. He used to call you during your lunch breaks, one day he hadn’t called 10 minutes in, so you decided to ring him, and he didn’t answer. A message would come from him an hour later saying something along the lines of “sorry baby, I was caught up at the studio”.

You moved to LA to be with him more and if anything, it felt worse now.  At least back in Kentucky there was a proper reason why you couldn’t see him. You were completely alone in LA; he was all you had. You just needed him, even if it was for an hour during the day, it would be enough. Other than work, you spent your time alone this past week and it was starting to take its toll. You didn’t know how many more times you could tell yourself that you just missed him. You had been sitting on your couch watching TV for a while now but let’s be honest, you weren’t really paying attention to the show in front of you. You were thinking about Jack and how you guys would see more of each other. The only plausible thing to do you thought was text him.

You: J, can we talk please?

Jack: Now? I’m sort of in the middle of something.

You: yes now, please?

Jack: baby, what’s going on?

You: Ok fine, can you come home early today please?

Jack: Why?

You: I wanna talk… please baby

Right after the message showed seen from Jack, your phone rang with a picture of Jack kissing your cheek while your face was scrunched. For some reason you were nervous, but you also couldn’t contain your excitement. You just missed him.

You quickly swiped to answer his call and before you could say hi, Jack questioned “You tryna break up with me?”

You froze for only a second and brows furrowed “wha-“you begin responding.

“Don’t try and play with me Ma” He interrupted. “Are you tryna break up with me or not?” He repeated firmly.  Your heart clenched at the sound of his voice, he sounded worried. Looking back, you could see why he thought you might be breaking up. Everyone knew we need to talk is code for I want to break up. You swore at yourself for not being clearer, you shouldn’t have jumped the gun and texted him before thinking about what you would say.

“J, no I’m not I promise” You quickly assured him “I didn’t want to talk over text that’s why I was cryptic” You began to clarify. This was it; you would have to tell him how you felt. “Baby I – I just miss you j, it’s been almost a week since we’ve spent proper time together and we live in the same apartment!” You ranted, now that you started there was no way you could stop till you said your every last piece.

“I don’t see you anymore, we haven’t spoken for days, you don’t even call to check up on me, I wait almost every night to eat dinner with you because you tell me you’ll be home soon and then you aren’t home till 2am” You carried on without a breath

“And you don’t even have the decency to say – Hey babe, I’m actually gonna be late today” You mocked his voice. “I just miss you, I just want to see you” you repeated. You could hear Jack’s breathing on the other end of then phone. You paused to let him talk but he stayed silent.

“Jack?” You called, making sure he was still there.  

“I’m here” he confirmed softly with another long pause

“I hear you baby, I do” He acknowledged through the phone “but can we talk tomorrow? I promise I’ll be home by 10pm tomorrow latest and we’ll talk” he sighed a promise. You smiled slightly at ease now that Jack would be home tomorrow, and you would talk. Anything would be better than this you told yourself.

“Ok baby” You agreed “I’m sorry for throwing this on you randomly, I just didn’t know when I would see you next and I- “you defended yourself.

“I know baby, it ok” He interrupted again “We’ll talk tomorrow, ok?” He asked searching for your acceptance.

“Yeah, sounds good, l love you J” You comforted him.

“Love you too baby” He hummed with a quick kiss sound from the other end of the phone. You smiled again and shut the phone feeling much more at ease than before you called him. He had a way of calming you down even when he didn’t know what was going on, Jack was the only person who truly understood you. Whenever you would speak to him, he would know exactly what to say and when to say it.

You slept easier that night, better than you had for a few days.

The following morning you woke up to the sound of keys rustling and the door closing. You rubbed your eyes weakly turning your head the window seeing the soft sun rise shining through the blinds. You tapped your phone turning the lock screen, you quickly realised it was only five thirty in the morning. You knew it was Jack who had just come home but what you couldn’t wrap your head around was why we was coming home late. Lifting yourself from your bed and slipping on the closest shoes near your bed you shuffled slowly to where you heard the noise.

You followed the shining light coming from the kitchen to find Jack sitting at the dining table with his back leaned on the chair, legs splayed out, one under the table and the other outside the table and arms crossed on his chest. He lifted his head sensing your presence as though I was interrupting a deep conversation with the tiled floor.

“Jack?” You questioned groggily moving closer to him and pulling a chair to sit. As you slowly started to become aware of the situation, kicking yourself out of the sleepy trance. He held a firm stare and followed your every movement without saying a word. Once you were near him at the head of the table, he moved his body forward and rested his arms on the table while crossing both hands and looked at you expectantly. You were beyond confused now. It was five thirty in the morning and he had just gotten home, what did he expect from you? If anything, he should be the one explaining himself. What was he doing all this time? “What’s going on? Why are you home so late?” You asked as you went in to reach for his hand. This time you were taken aback. He had jerked his hands away. He had jerked his hands away from your touch. You were offended and he could clearly see it but didn’t care.

Jack sighed and broke the silence between the two of you “You wanted to talk?” He motioned in an uncaring manner. You were dumbfounded and confused and to add to your spinning emotions right now, you were hurt. You weren’t confused to what Jack was talking about, oh it was clear this had everything to do with your last phone conversation. You were confused at his attitude and disregard for your feelings, you had left the phone call with him on good terms, you were content with him suggesting we talk about it the following day, you had both even said I love you before ending the call, He gave you kiss! Where was this coming from?

“Jack it’s five thirty” you said bluntly hoping that would knock some sense into him.

“It’s tomorrow isn’t?” He replied sarcastically. Now was not the time for this unwanted humour. You rolled your eyes so far you thought your eyes would be stuck there forever.

“Grow up Jack, you know you said 10pm” You reminded him of the conversation “It’s too fucking early for this and now you are making me feel like absolute shit for asking to talk to you last night” You snarled and stood up from your seat. His attitude made your feelings seems so stupid now and you knew they were grounded. You had a right to feel this way, sure you could have come about it a different way, but he didn’t have to treat you like this because of it. You started walking away from Jack before you heard him jump from his seat following you.

“You wanted to talk y/n! I’m here, ready to talk!” Jack yelled “Now you are calling me a child- “

“Don’t start with me Jack! I didn’t call you a child, I told you to grow the fuck up. You are the one making me feel like a child for missing you! We haven’t spoken for over a week!” You shouted back with anger growing more and more.  

Jack’s eyes now fuming with anger walking closer towards, snapped “I’ve been busy at the studio! Do you not know how important this is to me? I thought of all people in this world you would understand me y/n”  

“Don’t throw that bullshit at me, you know I understand, that’s why I didn’t bother you for a week!” You scolded. You could not believe he was trying to make you feel guilty, if you didn’t know Jack that would have hit you where it hurts, but this was a typical argument with Jack. “You were fine with me last night when I called, you were listening to me, you said we would talk” You cried

Jack began talking with his hands more, which was something would do often when he got riled up “Yeah, that was up until I had to explain why I had to randomly call my girlfriend because something was up. Then I couldn’t fucking work properly the rest of the night” He yelled

“I am done” You sighed creating distance between the two of you. “I am not arguing with you right now, I need to get ready for work” You cut the argument short walking towards your room to get ready. This was getting too heated too quickly, you knew both you & jack needed to calm down or else you would start saying things you didn’t mean to each other. However, jack wasn’t having it.

Jack followed you to your room and shouted after you “You can’t end this; you are the one that wanted to talk!”.

Your turned back to face jack and yelled “Yes Talk, not fucking yell!” as you pointed your finger “This was meant to be a civil conversation on how we can find balance in our relationship, not blame one another” You argued “I have no one Jack! And I’m not asking you to be around me 24/7 but if I could see you before I sleep that would be good! Even when I wake up, I’m not being picky, I was willing to try anything just to see you for a bit and spend some time with you” You continued to argue while pointing your finger on his chest. At this point Jack went quiet and let your rant go on, His breathe were heavy and eyes raging with emotion.

“I moved here to be with you Jack, I moved and ended my whole life in Kentucky to be with because you are worth it” You breathed as your eyes began to water.

Jack noticing your tears, said more calmly “Quit your job then, you know I can support you and we can see more of each other” he offered

You scoffed “So now I have to quit my job to get to see my boyfriend more often than a minute a day?” you breathed a laugh “What will I be doing with my life then Jack, living solely for the purpose of you? How do you think this is fair right now? I love my job, this is the only thing I have that is giving my sanity-“You were yet again interrupted by Jack.

“What do you want me to do then y/n!?” Jack roared “This is my dream! I can’t throw it all away so you can spend more time with me” You knew this was his dream, that is why you moved with him. You wanted to be by his side supporting him to the top, that was all you ever wanted for him.

You laughed again shaking your head “Jack, I’m ending this here. This conversation is going nowhere, and I feel like you aren’t listening right now” You cut the conversation short and began changing from your PJs to work attire. “I’m going to work, please be back early tonight so we can talk civilly” you sighed.

Jack ran his hands through his curls vigorously and exhaled “You can’t do this y/n, I’m serious. You can’t expect me to drop everything when you want me to” He explained in a calm manner “This is when I can talk and that’s it”

You admittedly had frozen for a split second. After all this arguing he still wasn’t hearing what you were saying. You only wanted to talk to figure something out with Jack, you knew he couldn’t stop chasing his dream nor did you want him to. But surely, he could spare an hour or two at night for his girlfriend. Your relationship would never work if you guys couldn’t figure this out and you weren’t ready to lose Jack, you loved him too much. However, if he wasn’t willing to put the work in this relationship then there was no use living in LA with Jack.

You walked up to Jack, cupping his cheeks in both hands, and whispered softly “I don’t want you to drop everything for me, but I want to know you still care about us” you confessed. You were done arguing, you offered affection in hopes that it would make him hear what you were trying to tell him. “This is going nowhere baby, let’s take some time and think. I gotta go work and you do what you gotta do, then after work and when you are done, you can come home, and we’ll talk” You bargained, resting your forehead on his. He closed his eyes and took a deep breathe and nodded softly.

“But J, please be reasonable. Please don’t come home to late” You pleaded waiting for a response from him.

He shook his head softly against yours “ok baby, you’re right” He mumbled “I won’t be home late, I promise” he assured you while you softly rubbed your thumb against his right cheek. You smiled softly and gave him a soft peck on the lips which he happily accepted and said your goodbyes.

That day at work you found it hard to concentrate on anything expect Jack. He had obviously meant the world to you but at what point did you have to stop dictating your life to suit his? Tonight, would tell you what you needed to know, he had to prioritise you tonight, if he wanted to keep this relationship then he would need to show you how much and he would need to put more effort in keeping it. It was starting to feel like a one-sided relationship! And sure, he can call you his girlfriend all he liked, but didn’t mean I was being treated like his girlfriend, especially this last week. You couldn’t let it go on for longer, if you let it go on for any longer than you would lose Jack because you knew he would be the type to get comfortable real quick if he doesn’t see any issues. You weren’t ready to not fight for the two of you.

You got home at six and decided to run a bath before cooking dinner to ease some of the tension and stress built from this morning. By the time you finished everything it was about 9pm and Jack still wasn’t home however you did have an unread message from him you decided to open.

The message read from Jack – I’m sorry baby I know I said I wouldn’t be late, but I lost track of time. I’m almost done here. I’ll be home soon.

Although this wasn’t ideal, you told yourself this was a start. He stopped messaging you completely prior to your argument so he must’ve understood where you were coming from. You were relieved this morning’s argument wasn’t for nothing. You texted him back a reassuring message.

You: all good babe, I’m waiting for you *kissing face*

In which he reacted and liked the message. You smiled softly and decided to watch some TV to kill time. You had watched two episodes of daredevil and he still hadn’t come, you checked your phone for any missed notification, to which there were none. You then gave him a ring hoping he would answer and to your surprise he didn’t answer your call so you decided to pop him a quick ‘where are you?’ message so he can reply to instead.

You could not believe he was doing this, he promised you he wouldn’t be home too late, and it was now 11pm, he wasn’t answering any of your calls nor your texts. You really thought this relationship meant more to him, but clearly it meant more to you than it did him. You moved yourself from the couch to the dining table as it was closer to your door so you would see him as soon as he entered, and he would see you the same. As moments passed, you reflected on memories between you and Jack, times when it was just the two of you in his childhood bedroom, or when Urban would barge in Jacks room mid make out session causing both of you to redden while you hid behind jack in embarrassment. These memories caused left a reminiscent smile on your face. You and Jack would stay up till the early hours of the morning talking about when he would make it in Hollywood and all the things, he wanted to achieve which would then lead to him making you promise you would never leave him and you making him promise the same. Jack had known you were it for him.

You heard a soft creak of the door immediately bringing back to the present time, you lifted your head to see Jack standing there with an apologetic look. It resembled the look of a guilty person, but you would chalk it up to apologetic for the sake of your own feelings. You stared at him without saying a single word, face blank and arms crossed, waiting for him to explain himself. He moved the chair beside you away from the dining table to sit near you, you could tell he wanted more from you, but you wouldn’t give it to him. This time, he had to fix this himself, he fucked up and you weren’t about to help him make you forget that. You remained in the same position he found you in now. Your eyes followed his movements as he leaned in and moved his hands to your crossed arms, you raised your eyebrows expectantly waiting for him to go on.

“Baby” Jack sighed as he lowered his head to the ground. This initiated a small scoff from you causing him to avert his gaze towards you again. He looked back up so quickly you thought he might have had whiplash from the movement. You assumed he didn’t expect you to react the way you did as eyes were opened a little wider and lips were parted slightly indicating he was shocked.

“Don’t ‘baby’ me Jack” You rolled your eyes and averted your gaze to the living room couch on your right.

“I fucked up y/n, I- “Jack admitted quickly right before you interrupted

“Yeah Jack, you did fuck up” You agreed while your gaze remained away from his. He sighed again as you felt him move his hands from your arms. His movements were so quick you didn’t expect them. His right hand had grabbed your chin and forced you to face him again. You were both at eye level, maintaining each other’s stares. “I’m sorry” he said adamantly with his hand still on your chin.

“If you were sorry Jack, you would have come home when I asked you to” you uttered defeatedly as your slightly lifted shoulders drooped. His hand dropped to his hands to his knees now allowing you some room to breathe. If he kept his hand there any longer, you would have started crying.

“I know, I know, I just lose track of time. I don’t do it on purpose, you know me y/n” He muttered tyring to excuse himself.

“It’s 12am Jack” You scolded as you went back to crossing your arms.

“Thanks y/n” he said bluntly, Obviously, he knew it was 12am, but his excuses were driving you up the wall. He wasn’t even trying anymore, he just expected you to excuse his behaviour because ‘you knew him’. You were over it.

This pushed you lift yourself from your seat and walk away from him. He furrowed his brows slightly and his eyes followed your movements. “I can’t do this anymore jack” You sighed.

His eyes widened at hearing your words, they sounded a lot like ‘we’re done jack”. He was shocked, were you not even going try and fix this? He stood up at followed you, although he wasn’t sure where you were headed. “Is that it? You’re not even gonna try and sort this” He objected. “You gonna walk away from me, from us and that’s it?” He taunted. This stopped you in your tracks and you turned to face him now.  You couldn’t believe he was blaming you right now, instead of him coming home like he promised and fixing this, he threw more excuses and no solutions. Suddenly, you could feel the tears you had been trying so hard to keep down emerge.

“You’re not taking me serious Jack!” You cried. “Obviously I don’t want to end this, I love you! But you don’t even seem like you want to fix whatever is going on here. I mean you clearly don’t care enough too”

“I don’t know what you want from me!” he shouted in reply

You laughed mid sniff and said, “I want you!” hands swinging in defeat

He was truly confused, he was here fighting for you, fighting for the both of you. Jack loved you with everything he had, and usually understood how you were feeling. He never needed you to spell it out for him, but now, he needed more from you. Sure, he was late and sure he hadn’t been around often, but this was his job, this was his dream. Jack thought you understood him. “You moved here so we can be together, I don’t know what else do to” he complained.

You sighed wiping the tears to allow more to flow “maybe we need space Jack, I’ll go back home and when you’re ready to remember you are in a relationship we can talk”

“I’m not letting that happen y/n!” He yelled; he would not let you throw away what the two of you had. You both just needed to calm down and talk civilly. “You promised me you wouldn’t leave, you’re it for me y/n, so I’m not letting you leave until we sort this shit out”

“Do I need to spell it out again for you jack? You’ve never invited me to the studio, I never go out with you, you never text me, you stopped calling me!” you ranted “It was useless for me to move here, I don’t see any more of you than I did when I was in Kentucky” you sobbed walking closer to him “I don’t want to be clingy J, but I miss you and I’m alone here” you said as your cry softened.

It was all starting to make sense now, he had to admit, the first call from you he wasn’t really listening, he was too busy worrying that you were breaking up with him. When he heard you say that you weren’t planning on breaking up with him, the only thing racing in his mind was relief. He heard you ranting on the phone faintly but didn’t want to admit he wasn’t listening which is why he hold you that you too would talk when he got home. One thing led to the other and he was suddenly annoyed that you would scare him like that while he was at the studio just to talk to him. Jack finally realised he needed to fix it fast, you were being serious about moving back to Kentucky and if you did that, he knew you both would drift, especially if you left on these terms.

“ok, ok, I’m listening now” Jack promised “I know I haven’t been around much, things are hectic at the studio and I know it’s not an excuse but I can’t lose you baby” He explained “I just can’t lose you” Jack repeated

“You aren’t really acting like you care all that much Jack” you wept

“But I’m hearing you now ma, it’s not right I left you. I know that” He admitted in hopes you would calm down a little. He hated seeing you cry and the fact that he was the one causing it was killing him. “Please ma, don’t cry. We’ll work something out”

“It’s up to you J, it’s up to you how you wanna go about this” you offered, wiping your cheeks of the tears

“First, it’s not that I didn’t want you at the studio baby. They got rules because of COVID and shit but imma force them to let you in, ok?” He suggested which caused you to smile a little, you pictured him getting angry at some people to get them to allow you in. While you had no idea there were rules in place, you doubted Jack could really do much about the rules. It was his determination that caused you too smile really.

“That sounds good J, if they let me come, I can come after work and get dinner so we can eat together before I go home” You proposed with hope, walking slightly closer to him. He followed your movements and met you halfway.

“Yeah?” He asked with hope, raising his brows slightly.

Now that your bodies were basically touching, he moved his hand to your face and slightly stroked your cheek “and I’m promising you right now y/n I’ll be home earlier for you. I know I said that this morning, but I fucking mean it. I don’t wanna see you crying because of me ma, it hurts” He promised with full intent that made your heart swell.

“You don’t always have to come home early but if you’re gonna be late J, tell me. I’ll wait up for you” you bargained. You were both in this relationship, so you would try just as much as he did. As long as he was trying, you would too.  “I’m not tryna make you stop your whole life for me, but we need communicate” you rationalised.

“I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry I wasn’t listening, I’m sorry I made you cry, I’m sorry about it all” He apologised profusely causing you to shake your head aggressively.

“don’t apologise, I gotchu J and imma work for you J always. Even if you can be a bit of a dick sometimes” you comforted him jokingly while running your hand through his curls.

“I gotchu too ma” He stifled a laugh “And imma work for you too because there aint nobody else I wanna be with except you” he emulated, causing you lift yourself on your tippy toes and kiss him deeply to express your gratitude for his love. He only deepened the kiss, sliding his hand to the back of your neck, lifting your head slightly higher. You felt his left-hand rest on your waist as he slipped his tongue in your mouth causing you to slightly smile mid kiss.

Once he broke the kiss, a small smirk appeared on his lips, and he teased “Even if you can be a bit annoying sometimes”

“J!” You scoffed, eyebrows scrunched and slapped the side of his arms. “You always know how to ruin a nice moment” You rolled your eyes, not being able to hide the smile from forcing an appearance. With his eyes shining, you knew it would all be ok.

“I’m hungry ma’ Jack grunted rubbing his stomach slightly. You raised your eyebrows and hummed knowingly to which he returned with a whine “don’t do that! I already apologised like eight times”

“I’m waiting for the ninth” You laughed grabbing his hand, leading him to the kitchen.

THE MUTHAFUCKING ENDDD… This was way too longgg. I could have kept going!!!!

[cyberrgirlsblog]

(candle ligth)

duke shelby x reader part 1  

Part 11929.

3rd pov

"shit" you muttered under your breath. looking around your house you realize no one was home. more importantly fez wasn't home. fez was supposed to take you to a small heath to bring the shipment of opium to the peakys but it seems that he got distracted with other matters of which you had no idea. possibly it could be the girl he was seeing or he was fixing a race. but if the ladder was the case he would have told me and ash. 

ash wasn't here either but that wasn't something new to you. He was always preoccupied with meeting up with his friends and trying to get into some dumb shit that was away in small heath so you wouldn't see him usually till after 10pm. If fez was gone that meant the car was gone. Which meant either A you wait till he got home or B walk to small heath. Knowing you had no other choice than to take option B since only God knows when fez will get home. 

Thinking about how a 14 yr girl walking a mile by herself to small heath probably wasn't the best idea you know you're still going to have to do. But you've faced and seen worse. Making your way to your room to choose an outfit appropriate for walking but also professional in some sense. Walking into your room you went to your dresser to pick out an outfit. Choosing a work shirt with a tie and a pair of brown work pants. You put them on and grabbed a peaked hat. Walking out of your room to the front door you remembered to grab the bag that had the opium and a gun to be safe. With some spare change in there just in case. Walking out of the house you close the door and start walking down the road. After about a couple minutes you heard the noise of wheels and hooves on the dirt road. Turing around you saw a cart with someone in it. You couldn't see who it was but as the carriage got closer you could make out what seemed to be a boy around your age maybe a year older. He had dirty blonde hair and light colored eyes. You didn't know what came over you but you started to run/jog to the boy.

“Hey” you yelled out to the boy slightly out of breath. You stopped once you were about 6 feet away from the carriage, the boy didn't say anything, he just looked you up and down, not in a lued way but in a curious way. 

“What” he said with a bit of annoyance in his voice.

1st pov

“I'm sorry but please hear me out” I said looking up at the boy. “I need a ride to small heath it's just a mile away and if you keep following this road you can get to around there.'' I said.the boy looked at me confused and taken aback  “no” he said then started moving forward. 

“Wait please, I'll pay 1 pound please.” after saying that the boy stopped his carriage and looked around to look back at me. After thinking about it for a second he said “Fine but don't mess anything up.” I looked at the boy with a smile and felt relieved “thank you thank you it really means a lot.” 

—-------------------------------------------—-------------------------------------------—--------------------------------

After climbing into the back of the boys carriage I looked around the inside. It was simple, there was a small bed and some clothing and other essentials on the ground. Soon it hit me though that this wasn't a cargage it was a caravan. I put some of the stuff I was carrying into the back like my backpack and food. I jumped out of the caravan and went up to the front and sat next to the boy, he moved over for me to have room. After sitting down I looked over at the boy.

“So what's your name?” I said while examining the boy's face and appearance. 

“My names Duke,” he said, looking forward to the road ahead.It felt awkward you felt thought that it was your fault this guy didn't ask for some random girl to just show up and basically bribe him into making him driving you somewhere he probably didnt even have in mind.

“Are you okay?” Duke said, looking at me. 

“Hm oh yea im fine, why?”

“I've asked what your name was 2 times now,” he said. I felt my cheeks burn with embarrassment

“Shit i'm sorry, my name's y/n” I said , avoiding eye contact. “So how long have you been traveling out here?” I asked curiously.

“My whole life I guess. My mother was Romani and my father was the duke of Saxon shore.” he said. I looked at him curiously.

“So you're like royalty or some shit like that. Sorry me and my brothers just moved here and in the US we don't have royalty and shit like that so excuse my ignorance.`` I said with a bit of humor behind my voice.

“Well last time I checked, royalty aren't ground workers.” he said with a bit of a laugh. 

“Oh, so does that mean you like to get free tickets and shit, man if i was able to travel all the time i would love it. Woulndt have to be stuck in a house and only allowed to go to small heath and shit. I could explore and see things I could only dream of.” I said I realized I was rambling to a boy I had just met 20 minutes ago. “Shit i'm sorry i-i ramble a bit sometimes” in reality tho i hadn't said anything substantial. Nothing I should worry about getting out but I know that I was thinking of it, it would be better if i was to tell this boy pointless shit about myself. Something inside me knew that duke would come in hand as a good friend but also as a good ally down the road.

“It's okay, I've heard worse from drunken men talking about how they hate their life and their time at war.” Duke said, glancing at me. “So why are you going to small heath anyways especially by yourself’’

“I'm meeting up with some family friends. Thought i would rather be painting but what can you do? Im mean there not boring or anything but..`` I trailed off looking at the road.

“Well we're almost there you can tell by the sky” I said looking up. The closer we got the more cloudy and gray the sky looked and the harder it became to breathe. If it were up to me I would rather go to one of nate jacobs pushover partys where people get shit faced and do the most dumb shit but he nevers gets blamed for any of the alcohol since his dads a cop. I hated that arrogant lousy man, no boy. Him and his father are part of the reason we had to leave or flee the US. Their whole family was a shit show but I don't want to waste anymore of my breath on them for now. 

“You can stop here if it's okay” I said, looking at the duke. Yet he didn't stop

Dukes pov

For some reason i didn't stop even though she ask me to

“There's still a good bit before we get there. I can still see trees, ``I said, looking at her. She had brown trousers on and a tucked in shirt with a tie. For visiting family friends it seemed too formal but I'm guessing she must have money if she was offering me 1 pound. “So why did your family move here of all places?” i ask curiously

“My family wanted a change and my brothers were getting tired of prohibition. Didn't want to waste money on overly expensive beer that tastes like dog shit” she said looking forward. There was a bit of spite in her voice and also something that made it sound like she was holding something back but I didn't want to push it. 

“Hm, so it's just you and your brothers?” I asked, looking at the road ahead. 

“No our grandma does too but she's not yelling, that's another reason we left. She wants to pass somewhere where people didn't know her. Were no from her past can hurt us or her. She has a ghost but then again I guess we all do.” she said this time she seemed honest. Nothing felt held back. I wanted to ask her more but I feel that I would come off as rude or too curious about some random girl's life.

“What about you, do you have any family?” she asked, i could see her through the corner of my eye looking at me with curiosity.

“Well i don't know, my father and my mother died after being denied at the hospital for being romani, she didn't have any insurance. She died soon after that. So i took-” i stopped myself from saying the last part. If i would have said the last part who knows what she might do call the coppers.

y/n pov

I listened to duke talk and he stopped himself from finishing his thought. He was hiding something, something that he had done something dark maybe but it wasn't my business but something in me wanted to know what it was. I'm hiding a lot as well. I'm not meeting a family friend, I'm meeting with Tommy Shelby, the head of the peaky blinders, a force no normal man would want to willingly meet unless they knew they would gain from it. But I was no man, I was just a girl who in my grandma's words should only fear God and nothing else. I try to stick to her words but she's hardened through life she lived through the “Great '' war as they call it. But as she said ‘it was never great not unless you were a king, politician or business ceo. But no one wanted to fight, no one gained from it besides the people on top.’ My grandmother lost her brother in the war. They were never close but you could see the hurt in her eyes when talking about losing her brother. The hate that would show when she would talk about how her brother left thinking about how he would be glorified after the war just for him to die for no reason. His death meant nothing to the government. He didn't get glory he got death faster than he could even comprehend and the worst part is he was killed by friendly fire. She knows pain, she knows a pain I hope to never know after her brother died. She took up the family business of bootlegging and the sale and trade of opium. At first she was scared of the people she met. The men who threatened her when they didn't get a “Good deal” on opium. She learned to trust really only herself. I doubt even though she loves me ash and fez, that she truly trusts us. I look up to her but I do not want to become her.

I can hear the sound of factories now and the smog is getting thicker. I cough a bit from it, gaining a look from duke.

“You okay?” he asks

“Yea im fine just i still can't get used to how thick the smog is here it feels like i'm in a chronic smoker's lungs” I say with a laugh, he lets out a small laugh too. 

“Well this is my stop” I say, this time he slows down the carriage to a stop moving it to the side of the road i hopped off from where I'm sitting and walked to the back of the caravan i got my bag and food. 

Reaching in my pocket I got 1 pound out walking to wear the duke sitting. I handed him the pound.

“Here you go, sorry for any shit I may have caused,'' I said looking up at him.

He reached his hand out and took the pound. His hand lingered in my hand for a second or 2. 

“Thank you, um well i wish you luck.” he said looking at me

I smiled a bit”thank you duke i wish you luck to hopefully we will see eachother again. Your fun to talk to.`` I said smiling.

“Well there's gonna be a fair that i'm working at around here i think a little bit south maybe i'll see you there if you go.” he said i swear i could here a bit of bashfulness in his voice. 

“Sounds fun i'll see if i can go hopefully i'll see you there.'' I said with hope in my voice. I look down and check my pocket watch.

“Shit, I'm sorry I have to go. It was a nice meeting. You thought I'll see if I can go to the fair though. Thank you again.. Um, well bye ``I said. Slowly walking away glancing back at the boy.

“Bye” I heard him say but I couldn't make out the rest. But that didn't matter now. I have opium to deliver and a trade to make.

Part 2 coming soon