#didn't get the best reception in a server

[hollowbeads]

They actually make me so ill.

[ddwcaph-game]

The Chapter 4 Public Beta is finally here!

138,000 words later, the Chapter 4 Public Beta is finally ready!

✨ CHAPTER 4 UPDATE HIGHLIGHTS:

~ 369,000 total wordcount (including code) ~ 138,000 additional words (including code) ~ New average playthrough of ~96,000 words!

21 New Secrets to discover, 20 New Character Traits, 17 New Passives, 1 New Phobia, 5 New Trinkets to collect, 8 New Achievements, 3 New Main Quests, 3 New Sidequests, 7 New Status Effects, and 1 New Song to sing along to!

Tito Nestor, Tita Stephanie, and Lily's moms' introductions!

Get a sneak peek into the story worlds you'll visit in future, in the Story Exchange!

You can now choose the name of MC's dad! (+Diary Entry!)

You can now choose a second bestfriend if you pick your twin as your bestfriend!

New choices and bestfriend scenes for JM and Lily in Chapter 3!

Added a new trait option that reduces the frequency of Filipino expressions and gives additional context.

A lot of references to In Auctorem Credimus!

Roselyna is now approximately 20% more huggable!

The full change log can be found by selecting "What’s New?” in the start menu. It's way too long to list here!

How do I join the Public Beta?

You can join the public beta by joining the DDWCaPH! Discord Server. From there, go to the #roles channel and ask Ma'am Bianes to give you the Open Beta Tester role and get access to the link and the discussion/bug report channels.

Why limit the beta test in the Discord?

Let me begin by saying that I didn't want to do this. But the last time I did a strictly private beta, I got ABSOLUTELY ZERO feedback weeks after release until I explicitly asked for it.

This is the best compromise I can think of for now, that should still be convenient for most people.

Chapter 4 also isn't 100% complete yet. There are still a bunch of choices I haven't written yet, but I'm leaving them for a later update because I'm not in the right headspace to finish them, and after 138k words, I need a break from writing.

When will Chapter 4 be out for everyone?

I'm not really sure. Depending on how well this beta goes, it might be after a couple weeks, or after a month.

I also want to draw some new character art, so I might wait until those are done as well.

Again, depending on how well the public beta goes, I may keep doing this, or go back to doing private beta tests. If I do go back to private beta testing, Chapter 4 will be the LAST PUBLIC UPDATE until Volume 1 is fully complete.

If you want the next chapters to still be in public, be sure to send in your playthrough codes and feedback in the survey! They really mean a lot to me, but I'm not releasing chapters publicly anymore if I'm getting absolutely zero reception.

And to the person who leaked an earlier version of the demo: I hope you liked that buggy mess. 😊 Send me your playthrough codes, will you? I'd really appreciate it.

[thetomcruiseblr]

I'm just laying in bed, catatonic. I still haven't eaten, but I'm hungry, but I can't eat. I'm back to where I was at the start of the year, but more hopeless than ever.

At the start of the year, I was distraught, but I knew there were things terribly wrong with me. I had been incessantly complaining about bottom!Bradley - not just the underage bottom!Bradley, but every single bottom!Bradley fic I had been terrified of. I've told this story to Lake, but I was even terrified of her beautiful "everyone seems a damn genius" fic. I had it legitimately blacklisted from January until June. I was absolutely insane, and I knew it...I knew it...I knew there was something horrifically wrong with me, and that I had to figure myself out, and I had to change.

And I really have changed. I do think I'm the best person I ever have been - I really do accept and encourage everything. The work I've done this year, I've done with no regard to its reception.

All I want is friends and a purpose. I barely have the former, and I don't know if I have the latter. I create Roosmav works, not because I want to see a number go up, but because I want someone to view it and go, "I think this person has a lot of love and passion for the same thing I love and would be worth getting to know as a person." I don't just want writer friends, but I would love to be able to encourage people with their writing. I never got to publicly cheer on bottom!Bradley works, and that is all I have been doing in private this year. I've told Lake I am in love with her bottom!Bradley, and I am so grateful that she is going to continue writing - I hope to be able to publicly cheer her on in some capacity. I even told yellow_crayon - the person who I had befriended originally because she has a sole bottom!Mav preference - that I wished she would write bottom!Bradley.

That's what makes how I feel now much worse than how I had felt at the start of the year. I knew at the beginning of the year that I was wrong, I was terrible, and I've worked so hard to fix everything I felt was wrong with myself. I've ended up more alone than ever because a few of my remaining friends have already left the fandom, likely influenced by the depression of my situation.

I can't be back on the Roosmav server because I know people there remember how I was, and that's always going to be the person who they believe I am. But I so desperately want to be on a Roosmav server with like-minded people again. I don't have any other interests, I don't want to talk about anything else - and if I do, it would only be with other Roosmavs.

I do accept it, but for the first time for a long time, I am left without a reason to live. I did everything I did this year - confronted my former fears, learned to write for the first time - because I just wanted to be around other Roosmavs again. Whether they be new people, or people I had formerly known who could give me a chance at the better person I have tried to become.

I do wish more than anything that my former friends could acknowledge my growth, would find me a person worth speaking to again. It does devastate me beyond all feeling that I will never be able to talk to N___ and F____ again. One of my happiest feelings this year was when F____ reached out to me privately to tell me she liked one of my fics, but of course, that I should have just been supportive and focused on the things I liked while I was on the server. And I did tell her, with all of my heart, that I am so sorry for everything. I never got to apologize to the administrator, who I know was also incredibly patient and forgiving with me through my behavior last year. I had just been so stressed and mentally broken-down that I didn't realize what I was doing, didn't realize any of it.

[agenderashswag]

a retrospective:

around 6 months ago, i've arguably posted one of the most important fics for me, personally

i started writing in it in november, on the couch at my school, and in that ending i just. poured out my soul. thought about my friends and all of the feels and just channeled it into a few paragraphs. because i was thinking about my friends, about how much i loved fandom, and how badly i wanted a hug. i just took all of those feelings, distilled it to the very basics of what i was feeling, and poured it all onto a page.

i think it's one of the best endings i've written. tired, wanting to be held, and yearning for someone to love me unconditionally, that scene where it was just a hug in an apocalypse because you love someone so much and you don't know what to do, and having coffee in the morning because you'll always hold your promise. and that you love them. did i mention that you love them? you really do love them.

as i started working on it during november and through december, i'd started getting out of my shell and start talking to people in my fandom without being explicitly invited to things (wowie!!!)--and that's one of the best decisions i've ever made. instead of constantly being on the sidelines, i'd started to interact with people more. started laughing with them. shared my insane au ideas with them. and started being friends with them. friends who i hold dearly in my heart because they're lovely people to talk to.

mostly because the first friend i made in the fandom was off of another fic, a fic where i commented, mentioned the basic idea of the fic i was working on, and reached out to dm it on tumblr. where it invited me to a server where i'd meet new people and start talking to them.

i really thank it for it, and i really appreciate it as a friend. and if i never commented on how much i loved its fic, i would have never became friends with it and so many other people. i really do think its one of the things that's kept me sane even despite everything

but onto the actual fic, i think it's the fic I've put the most consideration in. thinking about every line, every bit of dialogue, how to get the emotions even stronger. and doing something that i still value to this day: having my friends read and rip apart my work. without their help (esp aj's: hi if you're reading this!!!), i don't think i would have finished it the way i did, working on countless edits until i thought it was the best thing i had ever written.

eventually, as the fic started to become done, finals were coming up and i was preparing for that--until i got sick. i got sick with a sinus infection and i couldn't take my finals in time. throwing all of my studying plans down the gutter and forcing me to stay cooped up in my room all day.

so as i started to finally feel the sinus infection start to fade away, my fic on the backburner, it ends up my entire family but me got covid, forcing me to quarantine from everyone else in the house. alone in my room again, just as winter break was starting, i was forced to go crazy in my room with only an internet connection to keep me enterained.

i didn't vc anyone, so it was really, really, lonely. i didn't tell anyone outside of my irl friends, but i was really, really lonely during that time. i could only really open my door to see the outside of my house a few times before i shut my door.

during that time, i finally put my head down and started working on other fics. started working on that one fic again, slowly adding and editing to it as i saw fit.

eventually, it was christmas day, and my entire family was celebrating except me. where for 15 minutes, i had to watch my family celebrate on my phone screen without me, and when i finally posted my fic that i had spent so much time on.

and the reception i got was wonderful. i'd spend so long working on it, and to see so many people appreciate my fic was wonderful. someone even wished me a happy christmas, which i really appreciated considering the situation.

no one but me will really know that whenever i re-read that fic, i'm reminded of all of the friends i'd spend late nights texting and the quarantine, but i know it when i read it. i can see the feelings i felt when i was writing it, and i'm delighted it serves as a time capsule for my feelings, even if i'm the only one who can read it

a few months later, as things started ramping up in my personal life, in the car ready to drive to prom, i saw the email notification that the same person who had wished me a happy christmas re-commented again. and how this fic helped them on a bad day

and that's always resonated with me, you know? in that moment where i felt that i was so tired and i couldn't catch a break, i was suddenly transported to being stuck in my room in quarantine, but staying sane because of my friends. and how i needed that pick-up during that time. so to see proof of that working for someone else? it was amazing

and that's always resonated with me. as i started to feel my writing stagger, i started zooming out of my situation again and resisting my old work

and when i got to that fic to fix up some formatting, i read over it again and realized it's been 6 months since i've published it. and i realized truly, how much has changed since i've written it. but even then, i could still relate to the words i wrote on the school couch.

and i'd figure i'd write my feelings about it. my life is still a whirlpool and some of my friends i've made from fandom have left or have been busy, but i don't regret making them. i still miss them sometimes, but i just really want to say that i hope they're safe and they're having a good (or at least, better) day. because even though i haven't talked to them in months, i still love and appreciate them and i could, at the very least, wish for their wellbeing <3

[gukguktae]

Jungkook (A Tolerable Wedding)

Read at your own risk, pleaZe! This is an 'imagine' use your imaginations. Don't get offended if I didn't perceived your perception because again that's your perception. Happy humping reading! 🥵

Word count: this time, i know. 2.4k 😎

Genre: smut... that's it and au!

Warnings: protected s*x, mention of alcohol, vape pen, cursing, bigdicc!JeonJK

🔞

a/n: I really love the mother and daughter rs in this one. I have the same one with my mom minus the knowing who I fucked part. I hope you enjoy and I apologize if I don't put warnings in my imagines, in my defense adding "smut" in genre should be enough (be responsible, if you're not 18 DO NOT READ, if you get offended STOP READING) and plus the titles kind of gives it away anyway. 🤷‍♀️ I'll release a series once I completed OT7 short imagines/drabbles

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The event’s host called out the newlyweds, cheering began as they dance their way to the reception. You’re happy for your brother, Namjoon and his partner. However, the ceremony really fucked you up, you got bored and now you don’t know what else to do other than to finished half of the bar display, you’re sure that everyone in your family will ask you if you’re next. The answer you got in mind is just one thing, “Fuck no.”

You mother nudge you with wide eyes, “At least clap!”

Rolling your eyes and clapping slowly to humor your Mom. You’re really far from getting married, as in men-are-trash-fuck-them-imma-stay-single kind of far. Every man you’ve ever met is either jerks or can’t make you orga- “Hey!” Your mom once again interrupted your thoughts. “He has potential, right?”

“Who?” You followed her gaze, gesturing over the best man, you would be lying of you say that you haven’t notice him. He’s actually the only one that made the ceremony a little tolerable, he made other groom’s men look basic, which are your cousins and Joon’s other friend.

His silver hair that parted in the middle, earrings and piercings made him stand out. You couldn’t stop yourself from looking at him, there were times that he notices you ogling at the ceremony, but the moment he winked at you- it was over. You can’t stand cocky men that they think they can get all the girls, but in his case you just know he can. Because that wink made you shiver.

“Well, if you’re going to stare, I’ll take that as a yes.” Your Mom pushes you, “Go say hi.”

You stare at your mom baffled, “Did you just give me away?”

“Yes, now go.”

“I’m not gonna say hi to him! You go say hi!” You shove your mother and she was not amused. “See, doesn’t feel good does it?”

Every one calms down when the couple reached the stage, the emcee babble something about love and all those bullshit. Thank God that the server came and distributes glasses of champagnes, you took two and your action earns a glare from your mother.

“What? You raised me like this, deal with it.” You chug on one glass and she did the same. Having close and loving relationship with your mother and still you’re an alcoholic by a whisker, your therapist is confused too.

“Hey!” You’re mother stood up to greet your aunt, “Thank you so much for coming, was it a long flight?”

“Oh, no! Anything for Joon.” She looks down on you, who are half on finishing the 2ndglass. “Y/n! You look pretty darling!” You smiled and wipe your lips before hugging her. “When are you going to get married?” Just straight to the point, she didn’t even ask if you have a boyfriend.

“Fu-“ Your Mom interrupted with another question, not knowing if she did that because she knows you have a foul mouth or because you don’t have anyone in your life. Either way you took offense. The waiter came back and you grab another glass.

“Keep going this way.”

It was only half the program and you already feel dizzy, since they’re only showing cringe videos of the couple it gave you a chance to roam around and find a spot where you can use your vape pen, that’s been lodge in your breast all day. Somehow you ended up in a veranda just a hallway down where the stage is. You could still hear the function, but it’s muffled. Bending down and placing your elbow in the railings for comfort and support.

Feeling the cold air hits your face and arms made you shiver, pulling the device on your chest and taking a long drag. Slowly breathing out the smoke, you could already feel your nerves calming down. You heard someone clear their throat to make their presence noticed.

He lean his ass against the metal banister a few feet away from you, staring- waiting for his next move, but nothing. He’s just there with his arms crossed, staring at his shoes. As far as you can remember his suit fits him perfectly, why does his biceps showing? Is he flexing? And that fucking ass can’t be that perky for someone-

“Are you gonna eye fuck me all night or are you going to do something about it?” It took your brains several minutes to process what came out from his lips, which is in a form of a smirk followed by nibbling on his lip piercing. It’s too dark where you’re standing, so it’s impossible for him to see how you blush.

Trying not to get fazed, you snigger enough for him to hear. You straighten bringing your gaze at the dark garden, “I will if you say please.” Turning to lean your back and crossed your arms. His arrogance shouldn’t work on you, it shouldn’t. However he’s taking too much space in this open area and you can’t stop yourself to get suck in.

He fixes his cuff and drag his feet to you, “I don’t beg.”

“It’s nice meeting you, then.” Nodding, about to head off, but he took your wrist.

He swallows, managing his desperation to know you and talk to you. Jungkook can’t even lie to himself, he wanted to talk to you since this morning, he’s attracted to you as much. And he knows that you’ve been staring at him all day, the wink that he sent you says everything. He’s also staring, ogling during the ceremony. However he’s too nervous to approach and your mother is always beside you, so he never got the chance. The moment he saw you step out, he practically rush to follow you, seeing his only chance.

“Please.”

That made you smile. Did he fold? Matter of fact he did. He didn’t waste any time after seeing you smile, he places both of his hand on your cheeks and smash his lips on yours. His warm lips and cold piercings made you thirsty to kiss back, you stumble thankfully your hands caught the railings, his strong arms that immediately wrap around your waist to secure you. His tongue parted your lips, you could taste the strawberry and chocolate that he’s been munching all night.

Rolling your tongue that made him grunt and you swallowing his moans, his hand travels to the back of your head and push on lightly to deepen the kiss. Both of you separated and coughs lightly when you heard footsteps. “Sorry, where’s the comfort room?” An elderly woman asked confused.

“It’s inside, beside the stage.” Jungkook answered with a smile. He made that up, you’ve been in this place before and you know that the bathroom is outside to the left before you enter the place. That poor woman, she already left before you could even correct him.

“You know you just lied to her.” He sucked on his piercing and scratching his nape, you understand why he did that. It did annoy you too that someone interrupted that mind-blowing kiss that you’ve had in a really long time. You look around, “There’s gotta be some place to fuck around here.”

Jungkook smiled before taking your hand, “I know where.” He took you to a storage room, just behind where the stage at. It’s almost empty, but there’s a few chair, folded tables and shelves. The small room fits the both of you perfectly with a little room to move around.

“If we get caught, I’m blaming you.” You blast before closing the door.

The room went dark.

He shakes his head, “They won’t if you keep quiet.” You thought for a moment then nodded, because you can be quiet, you think. “I’ll be gentle I promise”

“Fuck gentle, I want it rough.” You trailed off, “but don’t leave marks.”

This time you’re the one who smash your lips on his, it caught him of guard, but he was quick to run his hands through your dress. Cupping your breast and massaging, untying his tie and unbuttoning a few. You moan when you felt how hard and well sculpted his pecks are. Fuck, he’s hot.

He pulls down on your dress, which exposed your breast that bounces a little. That sweet heart neckline is really a good choice, it’s an easy access.

“Remind me to thank Joon-hyung for making you wear this dress” He uttered before burying himself on your rack.

“Ew, don’t mention my brother” You wince.

Jungkook’s apology is muffled as he suck on your harden nipples. You pull your head back trying not to cry in pleasure. Grabbing Jungkook’s chin, your nipples caught between his teeth before he lets go, connecting on your lips as you try to unbuckle his belt and undo his pants.

“Eager?”

“You have no idea.” Slipping your hand in, his semi hard cock twitches and it grows more in your hand. “Fuck, you’re huge. I thought I have to pretend.” You joked that made him chuckled in low, the dark room is only illuminated by the gaps from the door. You can’t admire his rod with sight, so you used touch.

He really doesn’t have any idea how eager you feel right now, if you could just shove this dick up your pussy right now? you would. The last time you had action was 4 months ago and your vibrator starting to feel like your soul mate. So you’re not going to act prude and pass up on this kind of opportunity, fuck your beliefs, you can believe in them again later.

“Wait, do you have..”

“Yeah, here.” Jungkook rips the packet and roles the rubber on his length, does he always has condoms with him?

“Wow, you must be expecting sex all the time?” He answered in awkward chuckles, but you didn’t care just thanking his preparedness.

Jungkook bundles your skirt before hooking his fingers on your thong to pull it down, dumping the soaked cloth to the ground. “Fuck that’s wet.” He hisses on your neck just as he rubs on your pussy, spreading the juices all over.

Holding on for balance on his biceps when he pushes you up, the content of the shelves drops to the ground. Both of you stopped while feeling the atmosphere, the party didn’t seem to bother the loud crashes so he continued. Strong arm held your legs against his torso, while his other hand places his cock between your slit.

“Fuck!” You cried as you felt your entrance stretch for his tip, he slowly pushes more inches in. Clenching your slippery walls on his throbbing dick made both of you whimper from pleasure. “Holy shit.” Fuck.

“You’re so fucking tight.” Jungkook croak, “This pussy squeezing me so goooood!” He drags the last words in moan.

Grabbing his neck to get closer so you can slide your tongue on his, giving your full weight on his arms which didn’t have an effect on him. With those large muscles, he could lift a fucking car without breaking a sweat. He started to move you up and down, you help him by bouncing. Both of you swallowing each other’s breath and moan and grunts.

Hearing a squelching sound over the faint laughter and enjoyment of the wedding reception, but you didn’t care about that. Only focuses on Jungkook’s dick and lips on yours, and your orgasm that you feel coming. The familiar knot in your stomach that you haven’t felt in so long in someone’s dick made you groan a little loud. Dipping your forehead on his, “I’m fucking coming.” Whimpering through your gritted teeth.

Jungkook’s arrogant cackle before he fastens his momentum, “Fuck.” Growling in unison. You felt yourself pulsate as he continues to fuck your pussy over and over and over. Burying your face on his neck to stop you from screaming, waves of pleasures continues.

Slamming his cock inside you, it was getting harder not to scream in pleasure and pain. More unidentified things drops to the ground, none of you cared. He bites on your shoulders as he pounds in and out of you, "Fuck, I'm coming too."

His grips on your thighs became more strained, short breaths came out from his lips and moans of curses, he achieves orgasms. Cock twitching for every spurt of hot cum, he shivers as he thrust one more time. Before pulling out and setting you down, managing to stand- balance on your shaking legs. Stumbling and accidentally turning the lights on, both of you squints from the sudden brightness. He already tied the condom, pulling a handkerchief from his pocket and enveloping the filled rubber. You fixed your exposed chest, tucking the girls back in place. You were about to bent down to take your panties off the ground when Jungkook swoops in.

“I'm keeping this.” He already shoved the garment in his pocket before you could protest.

“Now let us hear what the best man has to say to the newlyweds.” Jungkook stiffens hearing his que. “Best man? Where’s the best man? Is he still here?”

“Shit.” He fixes his buttons before, busting out the door “Gotta go!”

You muttered a curse word as well because you’re close in giving a speech. You ran your hands through your hair and doubled checking your dress for any trace of sin you just committed before following Jungkook in an unsuspicious distance.

“I’m here! I’m here! Sorry!” You heard him shouts from the other side of the room.

You sat beside your mother, “Where have you been?” Shrugging, she wasn’t really interested, barely even noticed your gone.

You watch Jungkook grab the microphone. “Good evening everyone. I’m Jeon Jungkook, the best man…” Huh, his name must be Jungkook that would’ve been fun to moan.

His gray hair is a little disheveled, crooked tie and a missed button made you chuckle.

You mother eyed you, “Who is he fooling with those smile? He clearly just had sex.”

“Mom!” Your eyes widen, it’s like you were the one she figured out.

“What? Just stating the obvious.” She brings her look back at him, “What is that red thing on his pockets?”

Just like that the blood in your body drained. You know what that is, no one can miss those crimson red panties that barely hangs in his neutral suit. “Oh, Jesus!” Covering your mouth as you stare at his pants, that now you notice half opened fly.

Your mother’s eyes widen as he realizes. “Y/N! You did not!” Pursing your lips before nodding, “I only asked you to say hi!” The horrified face in your Mom with a subtle hint of amusement made you shrug.

“I did!" Kind of. "You didn’t ask me not to fuck him.” You argued.

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BTS masterlist

[ahockeywrites]

Versace on the Floor

Summary: Y/N and Josh have the final dance of their wedding reception

Word Count: idk I’m on mobile Warnings: minors dni, explicit fem! reader, smut, unprotected sex (wrap it up!!), swearing, mentions of children and having children A/N: anything in italics is a flashback. Please tell me if I need more warnings! Please reblog if you enjoy!

The extra weight of the silver band on your ring finger still felt foreign. It was the same feeling as when you initially said yes, a new feeling that you couldn't wait to get used to. You quickly glanced over to the table where some of your extended family were, one of your uncles send a wink over in your direction, indicating that he knew something was about to happen that you didn't know about.

Both you and Josh had picked a song out to have a 'first dance' to, it wasn't overly traditional but you made sure that the other didn't know what the song was. Still being a child at heart, you had chosen the Macarena because it was the song that was playing when you first met Josh.

It was a cold Monday night in Montreal. It was uncommon to see you in a bar on a work night but your best friend had just received a promotion. The French you spoke may not have been perfect, but it was enough to order a round of shots for the small group of you that had moved to Quebec together after high school.

A pair of broad shoulders pushed against you, trying to fit into a space that was way too small for a man of a muscular build like his. Gently, you tapped on his arm and shouted over the obnoxiously loud music letting him know that your drinks were almost ready. He looked down at you and rolled his eyes. "That wasn't at you," he quickly apologised, stumbling over his words.

One of your eyebrows raised, not trusting him fully. "It's just Gally always plays this on repeat when we win, so I heard it a lot tonight," he kept trying to convince you that he didn't intend to roll his eyes at you. You took a brief moment to take in the song playing, but it didn't take you long to realise when you noticed the entire dance floor of people doing the Macarena.

"So the Macarena is the celebration song?" you questioned, slightly unsure as to why you were engaging in a conversation with a stranger. This wasn't common for you, but this handsome man had an aura that you wanted to stay within.

"Yeah," he breathed out, signalling the bartender over, "we had a big game against the Jets that secured playoffs." Playoffs? What did this guy do for a living, you thought to yourself.

You pulled out a $20 bill and was about to hand it over to the server but the mysterious man stopped you, "add it to my tab Dave," he shouted across to the man at the register. "I'm Josh, and you?"

"I'm Y/N," you replied with a smile.

All you knew about Josh's choice was that it was going to be the last song that played before everyone went back to the hotel. All you could think about was the man sitting to your right. His bow tie had been lost about 5 minutes into the party, along with the top two buttons of his shirt. It wasn't like you were complaining, you had just married the love of your life.

A small hand tugged at the bottom of your dress and you noticed Josh's niece Penelope. All that was needed to bring her to your lap was a small amount of force. Josh quickly noticed the loss of warmth on his thigh but he found that warmth once more. It had moved into his chest as he saw you talking to the small girl, resting on your legs.

It was like nothing else mattered in the world, except you and Penelope. He didn't care if anyone caught him staring at you, in fact, he hoped that the photographer was catching these memories that were unfolding directly in front of him.

He couldn't wait for the days where you met him after a road trip with a baby in your arms, but the pair of you had agreed to get married first and think about children later. But god, he wished it could happen sooner rather than later. Never before you were ready though, you were the person he put before everything.

"Uncle Josh," Penelope said, climbing over your dress to sit on one of Josh's thighs. "Doesn't auntie Y/N look like a princess!" She exclaimed, running her fingertips over the lace on the skirt of the white dress you were wearing.

"She does, doesn't she Pen," Josh replied enthusiastically. "Maybe, I should take her for a dance like princesses deserve?" Penelope nodded frantically before hopping off his thigh and running back to her mother.

Josh leaned over slightly before brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. "Pen's right baby," he said as his breath fanned over your ear. "You do look like a princess. My princess." His simple words were enough to send a shiver down your spine. They had an exact meaning that the guests at the reception really did not want to see.

The static noise that came through the speakers startled you and brought you out of the trance you had fallen into. "Could I please invite Mr and Mrs Anderson to the dance floor for the song the groom has chosen to end the night with," the DJ spoke.

Josh pushed himself up and out of his chair before helping you out of yours. "I hope you like the song," he whispered in your ear once you had made it to the middle of the dance floor. "It describes what I'm gonna do to this dress tonight."

A silent gasp left your mouth, as both of his hands found their way to your waist, yours automatically wrapped around his neck allowing him to pull you flush to him. The initial piano note and soft tones of Bruno Mars filled the ballroom as you looked up into your husband's eyes once more.

Let's take our time tonight, girl Above us all the stars are watchin' There's no place I'd rather be in this world Your eyes are where I'm lost in Underneath the chandelier We're dancin' all alone There's no reason to hide What we're feelin' inside Right now

The chandelier hanging in the centre of the ballroom fanned light across the dancefloor and the only thing that you could hear was the clicking of Josh's dress shoes on the hardwood floor. The song had just become background music as you took in the sight of Josh looking at you with all the love in his eyes.

Josh's right hand came up from your waist to brush a stray strand of hair that had slipped out of the intricate updo. The hairspray could only withstand so much dancing even if it was meant to keep it in place for 24 hours.

"I can't wait to wake up next to you tomorrow morning, and every other morning after that," he whispered, dipping his head so he could press a gentle kiss below your ear. It was a simple gesture, but you felt a spark flow through your body once again.

"Except on road trips," you joked, to which Josh replied with a roll of his eyes.

"Even on our wedding day," he jokingly sighed, "you can't let me have this one thing."

His left hand ventured very close to the swell of your ass, maybe slightly too close for a family-friendly wedding. It wasn't like you could scold him in front of everyone so you just sighed softly but loud enough so he could hear you.

"Mrs Anderson, I hope you liked my song choice," Josh started as the song came to an end. "But I would like to partake in the activities he mentioned."

A quiet giggle slipped out from between your lips and you nodded in agreement.

"The happy couple, Mr & Mrs Anderson," the DJ said as he started putting music on to encourage people to leave.

"Brace yourself, baby," Josh quickly whispered, before putting one of his arms under your knees and the other under your arms, lifting you up bridal style. The attendees roared with laughter and cheers as Josh weaved his way through the tables and out of the ballroom doors.

So, baby, let's just turn down the lights and close the door Ooh, I love that dress, but you won't need it anymore No, you won't need it no more Let's just kiss 'til we're naked, baby

Josh refused to put you down until you reached the elevator to take you up to the penthouse suite. His lips were preoccupied with kissing the exposed skin on your collarbones, even pushing the material down slightly to find more skin to kiss. The slightly trimmed beard that Josh was sporting was causing a little irritation on your upper chest but it was such a good feeling and you leant your head into Josh's neck which simply gave him more encouragement and didn't stop. In fact, he pushed the bodice down almost fully exposing your breasts but you were able to stop him from getting overly handsy waiting to head up.

A soft ding alerted the pair of you to the arrival of the elevator and Josh walked into it with you still in his arms, pressing the button without even batting an eye. There was a mirror at the back of the elevator and you brought one of your hands up to run your fingers through Josh's hair. "I love you, baby," you whispered, pressing a few soft kisses to the underside of his jaw. He looked up to see you snuggled up to him, in a beautiful white dress, and he thought that he could have died right there with how beautiful you looked.

"I love you so much Mrs Anderson," he whispered back, leaning down to capture your lips in a sweet kiss.

"Penthouse suite," the automated voice echoed through the small room and Josh turned the two of you around to exit into the small corridor connecting the elevator and the suite. Josh shuffled you around in his arms as he walked towards the door and pulled out the keycard from one of his pockets.

"Here we go Mrs Anderson," Josh said, stepping into the room. "Our first night together," he giggled before sending a wink in your direction. All you could do was roll your eyes at him before reminding him about the activities that had happened the night before when you two weren't even meant to see each other. Let alone having a quickie in the club bathroom, but no one needed to know that.

He softly placed you back down onto the carpet, letting your heels sink into the plush material, even with the shoes you had on.

"You know," Josh started as he pushed some of your hair over your shoulder, looking directly at you in the mirror. "You didn't just have me staring at you all night, but every single person who was in that ballroom was looking at how beautiful you are. I couldn't be more lucky."

You spun around in his arms to look into his eyes, "I think everyone was actually looking at your hockey butt," you giggled, taking a quick peek at his ass in the fitted dress pants.

"Baby girl," Josh said softly, "I don't even need to see your ass to know it is 100 times better than mine looks on its best day." At that, both his hands migrated to rest on the swell of your ass, giving one cheek a gentle squeeze.

His fingers found the way to the end of the satin ribbon that was holding together the corset of the dress. "May I?" Josh asked gently. You nodded, slightly nervously which he immediately noticed. "Hey pretty girl," he whispered, "look at me."

You obeyed, lifting your head up to meet his gaze which was filled with nothing but love. "Nothing has changed between us, except a new piece of jewellery each and you having to remember your new last name." You couldn't help but chuckle at that. "I'm still that awkward guy who wouldn't stop talking about the Macarena being the party song in the dressing room. And I'm all yours."

"I'm all yours too baby," you replied, rising onto your toes to press a kiss to his lips. It was a slow but passionate kiss and you slowly introduced your tongue into the mix and Josh was quick to respond by adding his. Nothing else mattered except the pair of you and the loving embrace that you shared.

Versace on the floor Ooh, take it off for me, for me, for me, for me now, girl

I'll unzip the back and watch it fall While I kiss your neck and shoulders No, don't be afraid to show it all I'll be right here ready to hold you Girl, you know you're perfect from Your head down to your heels Don't be confused by my smile 'Cause I ain't ever been more for real, for real

"Josh," you moaned into his mouth, not even bothering to hide your arousal.

"Yeah baby," he groaned back, tangling his fingers into your hair.

"I need you," you said, moving your hand to lightly brush his clothed bulge.

"Tell me what you want me to do." This was something Josh did often, allowing you to set the pace for an evening of pleasure.

"First," you started, moving your hands to try and take off his suit jacket. "I want you to take this off." He hummed into your mouth, reaching to take off his cufflinks and start undoing his bow tie. "Then, I want you to undress me."

You paused and looked up at your half-dressed husband, "I want you to make love to me."

"That, I can fucking do," Josh growled, almost ripping his dress shirt as he pulled it off, exposing his toned chest. "Turn around princess, let me take this off you," he said, pulling gently at the satin tie once again.

You felt comfort in his chest as he pulled you in and kissed up your neck, making his presence know by leaving a few marks. Josh wouldn't call himself possessive, but god he loved seeing the boys faces when you forgot to cover them as you entered a bar together.

A few sharp tugs of the bow that graced your lower back was enough to undo it but he still had to unlace it. "Wait," you stopped Josh before he could continue. "I need the hanger for it; it cost me too much to just leave it on the floor." Josh smiled at you as you walked over to the wardrobe to find the dress bag you had your maid of honour place in there earlier.

You placed the bag on the bed and walked back over to stand in front of Josh, "you can continue," you smiled at him. His fingers were nimble, but he took his time to slowly undo the satin, watching as you tried to hide your feelings for the man behind you.

"Now what?" he asked cheekily, holding the tie in his hands, "this would look good around your wrists I think."

"You can rail me later," you compromised, "make love to me now."

"Your wish is my command princess," he said before sponging kisses along your neck. With the strength you could muster, which was nothing compared to Josh's, you were able to push him onto the bed before pushing down the dress, almost fully exposing yourself to him.

"Fuck me," he groaned, taking you in fully. A blue lace bodysuit adorned your body with garters that attached to a set of sheer tights and Josh couldn't help but reach down to rub himself over his dress pants. "Fuck baby girl, come here," he said, patting his lap.

You couldn't help but tease him some more and turned around to pick up the dress, ensuring that he got a perfect view of your ass. You wiggled your rear slightly and received a loud moan in return.

The coat hanger was slightly out of your reach, so you rose up on to your toes to get ahold of it. When you were resting back on your feet, the sound of a zipper and someone undressing themselves was all you could hear.

Suddenly, Josh’s large frame engulfed your smaller one and he took the hanger out of your hands. “Please,” he whispered, “Mrs Anderson, please.” You could hear the strain in his voice, he had been waiting since he saw you at the alter.

As you spun in his arms, you rose up on your toes once again to say, “kiss me then,” and he didn’t need telling twice. Immediately, his lips met yours in a passionate kiss, not dissimilar to the one earlier in the day, however this one had vastly different intentions.

Josh tapped on the backs of your thighs, which you had previously discussed as a request for you to jump into his arms, and you obeyed. You hands tangled their way into his now disheveled hair, occasionally tugging on the strands to illicit a groan from your husband.

As he walked back to find the end of the bed, Josh slipped his tongue into your mouth. The kisses quickly turned more needy when he sat down on the end of the bed. With only your underwear separating your clit and his thigh, you knew that getting some friction would be relatively easy, so you began to roll your hips.

Your groans were caught by Josh’s mouth and he could tell you were getting close. He raised his thigh slightly to help you and he watched as you threw your head back in pleasure. It was a light spank to your ass that tipped you over the edge and you came on his thigh with a loud moan.

“Lay down for me baby, time to return a favour,” you moaned into his mouth as once again he grabbed a handful of your ass. You rose onto your knees and shuffled down the bed to free Josh’s hardened length from his boxers. It only took a few pumps of it to make him moan your name loudly, which you smiled at, before leaning over and gently pressing a kiss to his tip. You wrapped your lips around the tip, swirling your tongue in the exact area where he always bucked up into your mouth.

Whatever your hair looked like at the start of the day, it looked completely different as you had your lips wrapped around your husbands thick cock. Parts of it were still pinned up and other parts had escaped and were perfect for Josh to tug on as your mouth worked magic.

Purposefully, you lifted your hips up so Josh could get a perfect view of your ass as you continued to work his shaft. You bobbed your head slowly, building up his pleasure slowly rather than repeating what happened the night before.

You sent Josh a quick text, letting him know you were heading to the bathroom of the club that the maid of honour and best man had hired out for the night before the wedding. There was a divide which was meant to keep you and Josh apart, but you could hear his voice over the music and the heat kept building up between your legs.

Josh 💕: wait for me baby, I’ll be a second

“Hey, I’m just gonna head to the bathroom, order me another sex on the beach?” You asked your maid of honour who nodded before asking if anyone else needed drinks.

You made your way through the maze of corridors before finding the bathroom that you had suggested to Josh and knocked on the door to make sure it was unoccupied. The handle was loose so you opened the door, then immediately locked it behind you so no one could accidentally walk in.

Rules for quickies in the club were always the same: find an empty stall, lock the door, the other partner will knock three times, wait a moment, then knock three more times. The first set of three knocks made you almost jump off the edge of the sink that you were resting on, but you waited for the second set. They followed quickly and you opened the door, allowing Josh to slip into the small room.

“Fuck,” Josh groaned, running a hand through his hair. “You don’t know how hard I’ve been seeing you prancing around in this tiny dress and the fact that I can’t do anything about it was killing me.” You reached up to wrap your arms around his neck and brought him into a deep kiss.

“And you don’t know how wet I’ve been seeing you shirtless half the night,” you moaned into his mouth.

“Oh princess,” Josh said slipping his fingers under the dress you were wearing, quickly noticing that you had no underwear on. He took his index finger and swiped it through your folds, collecting some of your wetness on his fingertip. “Maybe I should do something about that.”

“Whatever you do, be quick,” you groaned, slightly impatiently because of horny you were.

“Whatever princess wants, princes gets,” Josh said before forcefully thrusting two fingers into you.

You were snapped back to reality by Josh’s cock forcefully hitting the back of your throat. He could tell that you were enjoying yourself by the way your eyes rolled back in your head, but he thought that was from just his actions. But you had slid two fingers under your bodysuit to find your clit. The fingers drew tiny circles on the sensitive area and you eventually found a rhythm you could keep up as Josh continued to thrust up into your mouth.

The thrusts were purposeful and Josh had fallen into a trance with a hand raking through your hair. It was only when you felt your spare hand came up to rub his balls that he snapped out of it. You looked up at him with wide eyes, asking for him to release himself in your mouth with just a look, and he happily obliged two thrusts later.

You swallowed all his release and Josh lifted you up to sit your back on the headboard. He slowly pulled down your bodysuit and threw them across to the other side of the room. “You won’t be needing this anytime soon,” he said with a giggle.

The plush comforter of the bed was enough for you to get engulfed under, but before you could get too comfortable, Josh hiked your legs up over his shoulders and began feasting on your pussy like a starved man. His licks were frantic, but he knew which spots to pay more attention to and before you knew it, he was bringing you to your second high of the night.

“Baby, I know you wanna just tease me all night, but you’ve got the whole honeymoon for that,” you complained, just needing the feeling of Josh inside you.

“So what do you want me to do?” He playfully questioned back as he stroked his now hard cock again.

“Fuck me?” Your puppy dog eyes always worked on Josh before he was your husband, and they worked just as well now you were married.

“Your wish is my command,” he said before sliding into you. He stayed buried in you for a few moments, allowing you to adjust to his size before sliding the pair of you down the bed.

Your eyes met and Josh leant down to kiss you as he started thrusting deeply. The kisses became passionate once more and one of his hands snaked between your bodies to find your swollen clit.

“Baby, you can take one more for me, yeah?” He asked, never wanting to go out of your comfort zone. You nodded frantically and Josh sped his movements up.

His head was telling him that he was close, and he knew that he could only cum inside you then make you orgasm not the other way around. So he continued at his hard pace whilst watching your body react to what he was doing to you.

You could feel that he was about you climax, and encouraged him before he painted your walls white with his cum. The pressure of his orgasm on you was enough to speed up the approach to your climax and it only took a few small circle on your clit for you to cum on his now softened cock.

“Fuck,” Josh groaned, reaching up to wipe some sweat from his brow. “I can’t wait to spend every night with you in exactly the same way Mrs Anderson.”

And neither could you.

[sulfurousdreamscapes]

Under the moonlight and amidst an invisible wave of network reception, Peng walked with a phone to his ear and his eyes to the sky.

"You should see how empty this place is," he said. "There aren't even any animals here. No cats or dogs. Just husks of old buildings with no one living in them."

His words reached Zhao's ears, who sat in crisp daylight, at a corner table of the Café Quixote. Around him, cutlery clinked against dishes and conversations rose and fell like ocean waves. Across the fence, a pair of old men walked their dogs, laughing at jokes in a language Zhao didn't understand.

"You're a ghost then, aren't you?" he said, his voice a little whisper, because he still wasn't used to speaking his own tongue in a foreign land.

"What's a ghost without someone to scare?" Peng climbed up a dry fountain. Its elegant sculpting honoured people Peng didn't know. Now he pressed down on their heads with his shoes. "I wonder if the head's going to break off," she said into the phone. "I'll fall down, sure, but it'll be worth it."

Zhao laughed at his table, alone but looking around to make sure he wasn't disturbing anyone. "Don't break public property or you'll get in trouble."

"Honestly, I'd love to get in trouble." Peng balanced himself on the top of the fountain sculpture and phone still touched to his ear, he surveyed the ghost town. "It'd be something."

Zhao nodded at the server who brought his order. The server asked if there was anything more he could bring, to which Zhao shook his head politely. "That is all."

Peng sat down on the sculpture. Somewhere a beast released a long howl that broke and cascaded into smaller howls.

"Say something," Zhao spoke, his voice intimate.

Like he was next to Peng again, on the pillow.

Peng wished he could lay down on the sculpture. "What did you get?"

Zhao stuck his fork into carbonara. "How did you know I'm in a cafe?"

Peng laughed now, open and clear, his voice resonating against the white walls of skeleton buildings and uneven streets. "I have a knack for these things."

"Ambient music does that to a motherfucker."

Peng laughed again, heaving his chest and doing his best not to look down. "You won't tell me what you got?"

"I don't want you to get jealous."

Peng looked down. He wasn't as high up as he had thought. "What about you? Are you jealous?"

Zhao took some time to chew over this. "Jealous of what?"

"You don't wish you were here wandering the ghost towns with me? Just you and me under the moonlight, and we'd own the whole, deserted world."

"What a surprise! Imagine you here!"

Peng closed his eyes, felt the breeze against his hair. "I'm imagining it now. If you want me to."

"Oh, I'm sorry, can I call later? A friend from campus is here and I'd love to share my table with them."

The breeze was cold against Peng's lungs. He nodded, forgetting that Zhao couldn't see him, and then he hung up the call.

[imaginesbymk]

PINK + WHITE.

—chapter nine ; with heat & wet skin.

summary: teresa’s permanent resignation from the peaky blinders leads her to a whole new chapter of working in an art museum. but little did she know her best life would be butchered some time later when her former lover tommy shelby gives her no choice but to return to the peaky blinders after they make new enemies, with the leader, of all people, being the man teresa fell in love with one night after a wedding reception back in post world war; luca changretta. 

pairing: luca changretta x OC x tommy shelby

tags in this chapter: swearing, implied nsfw, drinking, mentions + drug use

[ chapter index / meet my oc / wattpad link ]

MASON was quick on his feet when he was given the slightly odd request Teresa had asked him to do last minute. It had nothing to do with the gallery or with separation of last minute business meetings to be scheduled in the margins of the diary. It was just that he had to safely track down a dangerous man. Luca Changretta was still in England, hot-headed with a plan.

Teresa loved fur shawls. Though she detested how the cheap ones she could afford wore out from time to time, from the "fur" falling out like leaves from a tree in autumn, or even its colour turning from new to depressed (and even she grew so envious over the women who wore the luxurious, expensive ones at parties). Tommy Shelby never bothered with buying her what she wanted, which she was fine with, but one man with the Italian genes spoiled her with one that she kept in her closet. A grey-ish white. Teresa often takes one look at it, before sliding it over to reach the silky see-through shawl when she is simply relaxing in her home. At parties she debated even thinking of taking it out, but then there was the other shawl that was made of black fur, and it closed together with a silver clip to keep her shoulders warm.

The fur shawl was just like the painting she avoids at her own work. Both were so beautiful and timeless, both sharing personal meaning. But tonight, it finally saw light from staying in the wardrobe closet for too long. Teresa held it out in front of her, then clutched it in her arms.

The bar was built together with grey walls, none sound-proof. On the other side you could hear the jazz band playing music for the party, or footsteps from the owner or a bartender heading out back for more stocking of gin. If you were on that side, you'd hear the giant doors spring open from the doorman that allowed Teresa to enter inside. The man at the counter watched as her dress fell all the way down to her heels, not too long so she wouldn't trip. Her hair was in its curls once more, and wrapped around like comfort was the fur.

She reached a booth and set her purse on the table. "White wine."

"Ma'am-" the server goes.

"A man will be joining me very soon." Teresa made a smile, as the unescorted woman if Luca were to not show up. Had she imagined if Luca burned the invitation letter she mailed to his hotel, or simply tossed it away, in future to be used as scratch paper, or even as a roll up (if Luca is one of the many people that did snow), she may have just wasted her time getting dolled up just to not be served at her booth.

"Last time I met up with a woman at a bar, she proposed a deal, and lied straight to my face."

She shot her head up.

Those eyes.

Looks like her night wasn't going to waste after all. "Are you talking about Polly?" She watches as Luca Changretta helps himself on the other side of the booth, the same server coming over to Teresa with her white wine.

Teresa waited while staring down at Luca's own glass being poured with four fingers of whiskey. Luca glanced at Teresa's outfit, not answering her question. "You're wearing the shawl I got you? I can't believe you still have it."

"What, like I got rid of it? Why would I give it to someone else who would treat it like a rag?"

"Hm." Luca took a sip. "So, why did you summon me here? Actually, I know the answer to that one. You're a businesswoman, as we both know. You invited me here to propose some kind of deal, eh? Like I got the time to spare one more fucking thing before I go do what I came to England to do?"

"I know about the vendetta, Luca." Teresa began. "And I know the deal you made with Polly, which was a lie, by the way. I know about that. What I also know is that you don't just plan on crushing the Peaky Blinders. You have more on your mind. You're so greedy that you would want to overthrow Alfie Solomons as well. If he were to betray Tommy with the deal you made with Mr. Solomons, you know you and your men would come after him as well and take over his business."

Luca nodded. "I had a feeling you knew. I had a feeling Tommy Shelby brought you back to Birmingham, no?"

"I know your patience is wearing thin, and you're done giving people more time. But then there's me."

"Right, forgive me," Luca places a hand on his chest. "Why not talk about the royalty in front of me as well? What could she possibly request for this time?"

"I wanna know why I was never sent a Black Hand."

Luca laughs, trailing his fingers around the rim of his glass. Whatever Teresa said or did, she definitely wasn't laughing. Nothing seemed funny to her on her end. She did, however, miss that laugh of his. It was more of a chuckle, but she loved it like it was honey in hot tea. "Let me tell you something. It's best to stay out of this, right? Since you resigned, messing with us is like throwing stones at the devil."

"I'll play in the snow with the devil to prove you wrong."

Luca scoffs harshly. "So you're one of those people that snorts white lines just to feel good?"

"That was just my own figure of speech, Luca. I don't do Tokyo," Teresa replied. She cringed at the habit Arthur and Michael carelessly picked up on. "It's everyone's thing now, but not mine."

"That makes two of us." He took another sip. "I'm doing you a favour here, Miss Griffith. Stay out of this and do your own thing."

"There's no need for you to call me that," she comments.

"Why the hell not? Formalities are a thing of the past now?"

"You're talking to me as if we just met. We had something together."

"Yeah, had."

Teresa gave a glare, grabbing her wine. Luca smirks. "All right. Whatever you say. Jesus, kid. You're so fuckin' difficult."

"Kid," she scoffs at his remark. "And Ada Thorne is on your list and she doesn't get her hands covered in blood. So why wasn't I included?"

"You feel left out?" Luca snickered.

"I just wanna know why. I know damn well you haven't forgotten about me. Even if what we had to you was just for pleasure, you found out that I was once a Peaky Blinder."

Luca stares. "You wanted out because you felt like it would devour you forever, so I respected your wishes. You told me why you threw in the towel. And I know you're not a Shelby, you don't wanna be a Shelby."

The server comes up to them. "Sir? Ma'am? Would any of you like to hear the specials tonight?"

"No, thank you." Teresa smiles.

"More whiskey," Luca says. "And for the lady, she'll have more wine." Teresa raised her brows. She didn't mind more wine, would she care so much about knowing her limit before it was time to wince at the tab?

"I forgot you love whiskey," Teresa points out.

"Italian whiskey," Luca made a hand gesture. "As I was saying... have you thought long and hard about this, as to why I'm here? As to why I want Tommy Shelby dead, how I now want everyone dead?"

"Your father." There was a pause between the two. The jazz band transitioned their music to a much slower song this time, and it started easing the nerves in both the former couple's systems despite the volume of alcohol consumed. "Arthur Shelby killed your father. John Shelby killed your brother Angel."

"If things didn't happen the way it did, my men and I would be cozying up in New York counting stacks by stacks."

"And I wouldn't be seeing you here," Teresa added. "Almost ever again," Teresa thanks the server for the excess wine refilling in her glass, then Luca's. "Now can we talk about the giant elephant in the room?"

Luca furrows his brows.

"I know why you left, Luca. I know it's been five years, but you really just packed up and left. I've never seen you so frantic until that day when you were running to the train." Not even an eye bat. "I grew miserable ever since."

"Can I say this?" Luca leaned forward, placing the cuffs of his tailored suit that it laid flat on the tablecloth. "Whatever emotion you saw in my eyes on that day, whatever it was, it was for the sake of being alive for my family. Someone's gotta help keep the business up and runnin'. None of it works if I'm not there."

Teresa stares at Luca. This man wasn't wrong. It wasn't like he was running everything in his family all on his own. His father led the family in Birmingham that Angel was a part of, even his mother lived with them, but what makes New York so important and comforting to Luca must have felt like a whole outlet of anything he ever accomplishes, how many Tommy guns he can hold and keep in his home like picture frames, how many men he has to hire from Sicily and America just to help kill one family. All of that was justified when he boarded that train to the Liverpool docks.

"Oh," Teresa straightened her back. "So much for being the big, bad capo."

"Be careful," Luca warned, pointing a finger at her. "Don't question a gangster's honour."

"You know I crack jokes here and there," Teresa's lips curled into a smirk as it reached the rim of her glass.

"So do I," said Luca.

She looked down at his hands that rested on the table. His experienced, non-scrawny hands that had a black hand tattooed on his wrist, one with a crown, and maybe some other new ones Luca got over time. She used to kiss all of them, even the one on his neck that was a cross. His right hand was wrapped with big, gold rings on two fingers, except he only kept his ring finger free of anything, that was something she wanted to bring up. "You got all those rings on your fingers but not a wedding ring.

"Not like you got one on yours, either. Unless you took it off before coming here," Luca jokes.

She shakes her head. "I've been too busy to fall in love with another soul. But you? You didn't tie the knot with Viviana back in New York?"

Luca scowled, knowing Teresa hadn't forgotten about that woman as he did. "No. I still see her occasionally."

"Yet you haven't done anything with her? Never bothered to find anyone to satisfy your mother?"

"My mother says any woman from New York or even from the old country would do."

"What did you say, after?"

"Mamma, you're killin' me.'" Teresa had to chuckle at that, Luca smiled at her. He then looked around the bar, seeing how more of the guests had gotten up to dance with their dates as the jazz music cranked up their higher tunes like a machine. "Don't tell me we're gonna be sitting here all fuckin' night. You wanna dance, Miss Tour Guide?"

The nickname he gave to her the first time. Did he really sit in front of her and tell her he couldn't remember everything they had, then? "I'm a little rusty," Teresa declines.

'We gotta stretch our legs somehow. I ain't even see your whole getup for the night."

Teresa had no problem getting up from the booth. She stepped out so that her heels were shown as well, and she placed the fur shawl down on her seat so her shoulders were out. The dress wasn't purchased by Luca, but by her, and she felt like a Grand Princess, like a little girl playing with their mother's dresses and makeup. She was never too insecure about her looks since it never bothered her, but she felt beautiful, and she wondered if Luca will still ever see her as beautiful whether or not she is clothed in front of him.

Luca kept on staring. "Then perhaps we can head somewhere else," he suggests. "Somewhere we're both quite familiar with."

How and why didn't matter, the young man who looked to be around Arthur Shelby's age paid no second thought to his surroundings as he aggressively snuffed the thick lines of cocaine that formed on the ledge up his nostril. He begins wiping away any excess off his face, exiting the balcony seats just as the Italian mobster escorts Teresa inside the dark theatre to their respected spots.

"You're a lover of theatre," Teresa spoke quietly as the show resumed to its first act.

"If you dress like one, you are one." Luca hooked his leg over the other, folding his hands on his lap.

It was silent, not the awkward or tense silence, but silent to respect and see the performance. Silence or absolute noise, the stage was the latter. The good kind of noise. The skimpy dancers twirled with batons, the man and woman playing the perky main lovers belted the note they must have spent days and nights rehearsing over and over.

Luca knew there would be performances every night back in New York City. There was always something to do and somewhere to go, otherwise you'd be glued to your chairs at home.

The show was about to end, and Luca, for the first time in God's glorious mysterious time, took Teresa by the hand and curled them together on his lap, his eyes were fixated to theatricality in front of the hundreds of people.

Teresa reacts, slowly looking down. It was nearly dark, but she could feel the giant, lumpy rings from his fingers bump into hers. He always held her hand during a show, and would only let go to join the applause when a number came to its big finish, or when the grand finale brought hypnotic joy and bliss in each audience member's senses like himself that he just had to give the standing ovation.

But just as the audience erupted in deafening applause, cheers and whistles, Luca and Teresa remained the only two members seated, their hands still holding.

HIS hotel room was neat and tidy before he left, now the sheets on the giant bed wrinkled like aged skin when Luca held Teresa down to remove her stockings. She missed his touch. The feeling of being pinned on a bed as he dominated over her, practically tearing what she wore for the occasion just to see her underneath as a sight for his sore eyes, it was definitely there, and her heart pounded.

"Luca," she breathed out a moan. He kissed her softly, now only responding with pacing movements, from positioning her to grabbing the protection from the nightstand drawers. Though he was careful with the dress and fur shawl that was set on the office desk he sat in earlier, within seconds her brassiere was tossed on the floor. With the help from Teresa, she managed to undress Luca from head to toe by just sitting up, and he was now unclothed from the fresh tailored suit his uncle made back in Mott Street.

They kissed again, and Luca went in.

+ me writing "smut": 🧿👄🧿 but ooooo shiiiit their “business” meeting was quite a night lol.

[restnowyourhardshipisover]

Can you elaborate on how c!Tommy is toxic to c!Wilbur? I know how when c!Wil was revived c!Tommy said that c!Wil should feel even worse than c!Wil felt in Pogtopia. https://youtu.be/1VXmOBgA7w4?t=3278 What are other examples, like how did he isolate c!Wilbur? /genq

/rp

I assume this is either about my response to how people are reading the apology scene from Bust, or my comments about Wilbur and Tommy's personalities play into fan interpretation, but I'm going to try and answer it more broadly.

You were probably looking for a few short bullet points, but I wrote an essay. 

I generally avoid the word "toxic" simply because it's not very precise and is overused to moralize. (Though I'm sure there are examples of me using it). I don't actually think Tommy's being toxic, necessarily.

I think it's useful to understand independent of Tommy's internal logic (because it's there. This isn't the post for it, but Tommy does have reasons for everything I'm discussing that he does here, some are even good ones) what Tommy is doing and the impact it seems to be having on Wilbur.

Getting the obvious out ot the way first, everything Tommy said immediately following Wilbur's resurrection is... less than nice or supportive. I know that a lot of interpretations see Wilbur as very understanding of or unaffected by those comments, given the euphoria of being alive again. I'm not particularly convinced, but I have no evidence aside from Wilbur's fragile self image that would support either perspective. So all I will say is I don't think it's a massive extrapolation to assume that the guy who is canonically suicidal might remember and internalize being told he's a terrible person for being alive and that he doesn't deserve something as simple as a fucking sunrise.

Moving on, It's incredibly tragic that Tommy isn't able to (willing to?) understand that while the moment was scary for him, for Wilbur, (who spent more than a decade in complete isolation) seeing Tommy was a extremely positive memory. And that Wilbur didn't do anything wrong even though Tommy felt bad. I don't think it's much of a stretch to extrapolate the impact of being degraded and despised for the bare moment he felt relief and happiness is having on Wilbur's self image. And following that reception Wilbur notably does not talk about purgatory or his trauma/coping from the experience itself. Instead focusing exclusively on either future goals or his mistakes prior to his death.

But those both involve some interpretation, however mild. For something that's spelled out very directly in the text, I would say the clearest examples of Tommy isolating post-revival Wilbur can be found in Wilbur's revival tour Where Wilbur goes around and does his best to apologize to and reconnect with people on the server. Tommy systematically pulls aside people Wilbur is talking to and informs them not to trust Wilbur and exercises outsized control over who Wilbur is allowed to talk to and what he's allowed to say.

With Jack Manifold, Wilbur very sincerely articulates a clear understanding of how he hurt Jack in the past, what went wrong and why. Without expecting anything from Jack for anything except that opportunity to apologize, and Jack seems genuinely moved. Tommy undercuts this, taking Jack aside to convince him not to trust Wilbur. Something Wilbur may or may not hear but definitely is aware that his apology was ultimately not effective.

Tommy even tries to stop Philza from reuniting with and apologizing to Wilbur and the main reason it doesn't work is because Philza's pretty focused on his not-dead-anymore son and flat out ignores Tommy.

Similar situations happen with every other encounter Wilbur has in that stream and the pattern carries into the Burger Van arc. Tommy is very careful to linger around Wilbur and ensure his presence in Wilbur's conversations and immediately after them, either with Wilbur or with whoever Wilbur spoke to.

And with Bust we are given confirmation that the reception has seriously impacted Wilbur during his conversation with Philza. Philza of course has no way of knowing, (and frankly I think Wilbur may not know) but the reason is Tommy's interference. We saw it happen.

As I referenced before Tommy's of course got his reasons and I don't think he's secretly scheming to erode Wilbur's self image or sabotage Wilbur's connections to the server. But I think those things are happening, and I think Tommy's actions play a large role in why they're happening. Adding to the fun complexity, it's hard to deny that Wilbur fundamentally needs the support Tommy offers. He's not in a position where he can operate alone.

That's why I read Tommy being directly outside of the door when Wilbur opens it less as a narrative cue that "Wilbur needs to apologize to Tommy a third time" and more a narrative cue that Tommy was listening in.