#do the boat fight (if u want I thought it was fun)

[xeaxeo]

going 2 brag that i'm good at video games cuz i beat the nere fight in baldur gate 3 hehehhehee

i had a save at a point where the fight was going well only went back to it twice only pushed 2 people into lava no one in my party died (like dead dead, had to revive twice if i remember right it is all a blur) had wyll, shadowheart, and astarion in party (and myself, dream)

[the-badger-mole]

do u have any headcanons about the gaang’s kids? like who they would be closest to in the gaang offspring? or which parent they would prefer or career?

I don't have a ton of thoughts about who the Gaang's kids would be. I'm honestly not super interested in them. But I have thought about who the Gaang would be as parents.

Zutara and Sukka would be the top tier of parents. They would be family movie quality parents. The type of parents that in certain stories would have to be killed off in order to give the protagonist an angsty backstory to overcome because having a functional, loving family isn't interesting enough...😒That's not to say they would be perfect parents, but they would try very hard, be very loving and apologize when necessary, because they respect their kids as much as they love them.

Suki and Sokka would be sports parents. They would take their kids out and teach them to hunt, boat, ski, snowboard, martial arts and generally let them get into dirt and trouble. There would be a lot of broken bones and bloody scrapes among their kids, but they would have the best stories about how they got them.

Katara and Zuko would be more protective. It would be a struggle for them not to be too protective. They would also take their kids out and teach them how to fight both with weapons and bending, but they would be very serious about safety. Zuko would spend a year on sword safety and maintenance before he let any of his kids even touch a real sword, and Katara would be on standby to heal any ouchies or booboos. At the same time, they would also do their best not to make their kids scared to take risks. It's a delicate balancing act, and they wouldn't always succeed, but their kids feel safe and loved, and that's really all Zuko and Katara want.

Toph...I have a really hard time believing she ever planned on having kids, so I go back and forth about her being childfree her entire life, or her having Lin and Suyin and being a Lorelei Gilmore type mother (only way less girly). It's a bumpy road, and she messes up...a lot, but she loves her girls and is there for them....And also she doesn't disappear into a swamp and go no contact with them.

I have a really hard time picturing Aang as anything but a terrible father. I see him with multiple baby mamas. He'd be a weekend fun dad who only sees his kids occasionally. He bails as often as he shows up, and when he does show up, he takes the kids to places he thinks they should enjoy without actually talking to them about it. Once his kids reach adulthood, it's pretty much on them to maintain the relationship or let it die. He has one or two kids who he sees frequently, but only because they reach out to him and he considers them friends.

[assiraphales]

you havent really been liveblogging your one piece experience much, but since you seem to be through Alabasta at this i was wondering if youd be willing to share any thoughts about the series so far/your takes on the characters in their original forms?

-luffy is a little gremlin who was fed after midnight but stayed cute. 10000 points in mischief. has THE biggest heart and would die for a stranger if he thought it was a worthy cause. much more intelligent (in an unconventional way) than he's given credit for. figuring out crocodile's weakness almost immediately?? hello??

-i like how all the crew mates have different (but very valuable and nourishing) relationships with each other. usopp n luffy's is very sweet because they're still kids at heart (and probably always will be, at least a little) who live by their imaginations and for fun/joy. zoro washing chopper in the bathhouse. usopp and nami being voices of reason for very different reasons, usopp making her a weapon bc she admitted one of her weaknesses to him. nami's love for luffy coming out in concern and sternness because she knows what he's capable of but also how hard he can fall

-some of the emotional moments that affected me the most; nami getting a tattoo for belle mere, nokijo, and genzo. pell sacrificing his life for alabasta and flying the bomb into the sky. sanji n zeff's relationship.

-klahadore is the biggest lil bitch thus far. but shout out to his kitty cat crew for supporting him and trying not to deadname him

-really liked the mihawk fight bc even tho zoro got WHOOPED mihawk was clearly impressed, and let him live for a reason. he also said after watching luffy and zoro together that they were a good team. which.

-luffy and zoro making each other better and worse (depending on how u look at it) and the crew just having to accept that "ok yah. that's their relationship. they're crazy bastards who enable each other and they're dreams are entwined."

-zoro being a secret goofball. I could go on about it. but one of my favorite small moments was when he told the usopp pirates that they were cannibals and ate usopp

-nami has such big dreams but she's so scared to get her heartbroken again. she lost her mom, she thought she lost her town and sister when she went along with arlong..... everything is a defense mechanism. she's a survivor. and she's so hurt. but everyday, from the crew's love to luffy's kindness, she's learning to accept that the world isn't that bleak. that good people exist

-ace's tattoo. um. JUMPSCARE. but he is neat and loves luffy lots

-tony tony chopper I would die for u. kureha is an icon and now I totally understand why people want jamie lee curtis to play her

-i'm glad that luffy n co were able to heal the giants relationship on little garden and now they're broskis who can fight n drink together without worrying about the whole "TO DEATH!!!" thing. zoro trying to chop off his legs and then posing so that he'd look cool if he died is another notable highlight from that arc

-princess vivi and nami. I know what u are. but in all seriousness she was just sixteen and infiltrated a secret assassin organization for her kingdom!!! I love that she had igaram pose for her so she could say goodbye to the strawhat crew properly

-there's just so many good people trying to do the right thing in the face of massive adversity. no matter what the odds, they'll fight to their last breath for what they believe in. and if luffy's there, he'll make sure they don't have to (die, that is)

-luffy managing to befriend the weirdest animals that want to kill him and them eventually saving him (the lapins and the kung fu dungongs)

-luffy asking zoro to save smoker's life because he couldn't swim, and smoker letting luffy go instead of arresting him so he could try and save alabasta

-sanji smoking cigarettes in the middle of a fight and constantly wearing a suit for Aesthetics

-mihawk hunting down the red haired pirates in his coffin throne boat just to show shanks the bounty on luffy's head (also way to go bestie getting it up from 30 million to 100 million in like two weeks)

-zoro sleeping everywhere but mostly near the rest of the crew so he can eavesdrop / be close to them

-the straw hat crew being a bunch of wild animal ragers and turning any event into a PARTAAYYYYY

[alimaybankkk]

𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐲

summary: after years of liking jj, u finally confess.

warnings: angst. if you squint rlly hard you can see a bit of fluff

pairing: jj maybank x reader

jj.

he was all i thought about. 

there was no denying that.

even if i were sat on the hms pogue in the sun, back to the hot surface behind me with the smell of the salty sea and the laughter of my serene friends, i’d still be looking at him.

at jj.

the ocean’s nice, of course. the sun on my shoulders feels just right, and being with my friends brings me an overwhelming calmness i can’t explain.

but there’s something else.

it’s him.

at any given moment, i could sit up abruptly and dive into the enormous blue body of water around me, but instead, i’d always choose him.

he’d be paying attention to the joint he’s smoking or the beer he’s shotgunning, but i’d still give him my full attention and my full heart.

my fool heart.

IT STARTED when my friends decided to hint to him oh so obviously that i had feelings for him.

for ex. : “jj, notice anything different?” sarah asked as she helped me onto the boat.

the night before this occurrence, i’d gotten a bit of hair chopped off. a trim with dramatic layers and prominent curtain bangs. it had been my dream hairstyle for so long, and as excited as i was, my two best friends, sarah and kie, were, too.

he’d looked up reluctantly from the lighter he was fidgeting with his hands and narrowed his eyes to me. “where?”

“y/n, dummy,” kie giggled, flicking jj on the head.

he jumped back, flinching and returned a half smile before looking at me. he seemed to search my face and my body for what felt like minutes, but he just shrugged. “not really.”

i felt my heart sink to the bottom of the ocean. sarah spluttered, but managed to say, “she got a haircut, sherlock.”

before jj could say anything, pope heyward, another one of my best friends, chimed in and said, “it looks nice!”

i gave him a smile and a half hearted thank you before looking at jj. “surprised you didn’t notice.”

kiara nodded. “i really agree. y/n would notice anything about you.”

since it was the first time she’d ever hinted at my crush, i felt betrayed. i wanted to yell at her, but i didn’t want to be vulnerable. so, if jj was going to play this game, then so was i. “not really. jj always looks the same.”

“so, are we untying the boat or not?” john b called from behind me. john booker routledge, the friend in the group with the least patience.

well, maybe that title was getting passed over to me.

IT CONTINUED when i had nowhere to go after a kegger. stripped down to my bathing suit and a coverup, the night air of kildare island was starting to chill my skin. 

but i had nowhere to go. just like john b, my parents were gone. unlike john b, they died in a car accident a year ago and i still hadn’t went into foster care. i was running from dcs more consistently than john b was.

i’d crashed for a few months at the chateau, finding it a home-like haven i never had before. my parents were criminals; they were always running from any type of authority they were able to piss off. which made moving a common thing for us. dollar upon dollar was spent on every new house they purchased, each one giving me no place to call home.

with empty and crushed beer cans littering the floors of the place my parents would fight and do drugs in, i never really felt safe in any other four walled building.

but the chateau was fun, whether it was a dump or not. it was constantly crawling with my best friends, (one of them being the love of my life).

after spending a few months at the chateau, sarah had moved in and transformed the guest room (where i had been staying) into her own little bedroom. 

she didn’t even use said bedroom. she just slept in john b’s room. not that it made me mad she found a better place to stay than the lion’s den, but i also needed a place to stay, too.

kiara’s parents hated us all and hated me especially, for i came from a bloodline of criminals. they’d say, “the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

kiara’s house was a no.

our new found friend, cleo, was staying with pope around this time, in the only other bedroom i could stay in.

there was one possibility left.

so anyway, back to the night of the kegger, my whole crew had said their goodbyes. it was about to be my fifth day of sleeping on the hammock outside of the chateau, and as the stormy clouds in the chilly night sky foreshadowed a hurricane, i didn’t know if it was safe to go along with the usual routine. but not wanting to be a bother as i knew staying at jj’s house would be awkward, i waved goodbye awkwardly and went in the opposite direction as john b and sarah.

“wait,” i heard from behind me. i spun on my heels to face jj, who had now grabbed my arm. “why aren’t you going with john b?”

i bit my lip and gave him a smile, shrugging. “sarah’s staying in my old room, now. i can’t stay there anymore.”

“so where do you plan on going?”

“uh, i don’t know. wherever the wind takes me, i guess,” i gave him a thumbs up, trying to fight off the shiver that fought me in the meantime.

“the cold wind,” jj looked up at the sky that now jumped with lightning. “the storming wind.”

“it’s ‘kay, jj, i’ll find somewhere. swear,” i held out a pinky.

“no. come with me, okay?” 

i blinked, shaking my head quickly. “no, jj. i don’t want to be a bother, okay?”

“it’s okay. please. i won’t be able to sleep tonight knowing there’s a possibility you’re not safe. i mean, look around. looks a lot like a hurricane to me.”

i let out a sigh and finally nodded, following him to his house.

but his house should’ve been a no, too, because it was decorated with the familiar yellow tape marked with some legal terms regarding eviction. there was a notice on his front door and the tape was ripped apart, falling down and resting on opposite sides of the door.

“‘kay… i just gotta get through here, you know, and everything…” he jiggled the door knob which suddenly granted entrance to the dimly lit house, causing jj to jump a little bit. “will be just fine!”

“jj…” i said, getting flashbacks as i looked at the piles and towers of empty beer bottles on the floor. “are you sure this is okay?”

“of course,” he said, gesturing to a room. “you’re my friend. anyway, that’s my room. you can sleep on the bed, i don’t mind the floor.”

“you’re gonna have to mind the floor if it has all this clutter on it…”

jj shrugged. “nothing i like more than beer.”

“empty beer? how do you feel bout that?” i teased.

he sighed. “now you’re makin’ it sound bad.”

after taking a lukewarm shower in the tight excuse of one in jj’s bathroom, i crawled into jj’s bed. he grabbed a pillow from the space next to my head and placed it under his.

“j, d’you want a blanket?” i asked, offering a flayed plaid cover that was near the foot of the bed.

he grabbed it and nodded, muttering thank you before rolling over. 

five minutes later, he whispered, “sweet dreams, y/n.”

IT ENDED when i came home to jj’s house late one night. 

earlier that day, jj was telling us about a party he was invited to.

“yeah.. bunch of tourons, y’know. shit’s gonna be real tonight, alright?” he’d said, making fake finger guns at pope who rolled his eyes and turned the other way.

“jj, for the last time, you’re the only person who cares about the tourons.”

john b nodded as kiara scoffed. “they’re not that bad. i like to have conversations with them sometimes—but i don’t sleep with them like jj does.”

i looked up, squinting and scrunching my face up at the unexpected ray of sun now beaming in my eyes. “actually, jj hasn’t brought a girl home since i ‘moved in’ with him.”

“you will not be set in the right mind to say that tomorrow…” jj quipped, smirking at the disgusted looks from all of us.

cleo fake gagged. “you probably don’t want to be there tonight, y/n. something tells me—“

i frowned, knowing he would never think about me when he tried to flirt with a tour on.

“listen, i gotta go,” jj said, “my boy sean wants us to bring a few packs of beer and any other goodies, if you know what i mean…”

“see-ya, j,” kiara said, slapping him on the back.

“tell us about it in the morning,” john b laughed, flashing a toothy grin.

“i don’t think he has to worry about that. i’m sure y/n could tell us all about it…” pope mumbled unamused, getting up to open the door for jj who rushed out excitedly.

now i walked into the bedroom nervously at the giggles and chatter spurring into my ears.

“you know, you’re the cutest tourist i’ve ever met…” i heard jj giggle.

my heart dropped to my feet as i cracked open the door.

“you’re not so bad for a local yourself, blondie,” said a brunette girl, leaning her head back as jj kissed down her neck.

“you’re about to see so much more of that,” he chuckled, arms reaching under her shirt.

i felt my lip quiver, stepping out of the hallway and into the living room.

i climbed over the weeks old leftovers that were still left on the table and rested on the couch, crying myself to sleep.

when the sun shined onto my eyelids in the morning, i got up hesitantly and looked around at my surroundings. at first, i panicked, but then i reminded myself of last night’s events.

my eyes were puffy and as soon as i thought of it again, i started crying once more.

i searched for jj who i believed was still in the room.

but when i stepped out into the hallway, i saw him in the kitchen, chugging milk straight out of the carton. “y/n!”

“jj?” i asked, walking up to him.

“how are ya?” he asked, giggling and wrapping his arms around my waist. “you hear it?”

“‘course i did, jj.” my lip started to tremble and i felt my knees almost give out. “and i’m so damn sick of it.”

“sick—sick of what?” jj asked, raising an eyebrow.

“jj…” i grabbed his hand. “i know this might not be the time, but sometimes, i wonder if you feel the same way.”

“same way about what?”

“i… jj, i’ve… i’ve liked you for years, j. for years.” i sobbed, hands reaching up to trace circles on his back. “and i know you have to feel the same way. we’ve always had this tension for the.. the entirety of our friendship. you have always reached out for me, you know? you took me in when i needed a place to stay. but then, there’s also other times where i feel like you’re on a different page. like… like you never notice new things about me. you never go out of your way to compliment me, and you always…. always want to take a girl home. but you know what, j? that’s love. a mix of things. confusion, anger, happiness, sadness…. the one emotion you feel the most is confusion. so am i wrong for thinking that maybe this is love?”

he took off the red cap that once sat on his head. “i’m sorry, y/n, i… i don’t feel the same way.”

“what?”

“listen… i think you’re amazing. i mean, why else would i be friends with you? but… i don’t… see you that way. i see you as maybe a sister. and i don’t feel comfortable having feelings for a sister. you are amazing. you’re one of the most amazing people i’ve ever met. i want to spend the rest of my life with you, but… not… like that.”

“shit.”

“i think it would be best if we remained friends. y’know? you know the rule. no pogue on pogue macking.” jj offered a shy grin.

i frowned. “f-friends… yeah. okay.”

tears filled my eyes as i took a step back. “i’m gonna… i’m going to head to the chateau.”

“oh?”

“i’ll…i’ll see you around, jj,” i gave him a fake smile before stepping off into the morning air, never feeling more alone.

[denim-devil]

Consolation | J.C

Pairings - Jacob Custos x Male reader

Request - OMG U WRITE FOR THE QUARRY?? Can I request Jacob x Emma’s adopted brother smut? Even tho he’s adopted, he’s basically the same as Emma (attractive, nice body, small waist, and big kissable lips) but he’s nicer and loves helping people. Emma always makes fun of him and calls him a push over. Reader has always had a crush on Jacob but has never done anything abt it bcuz Emma was dating him and cuz he seemed straight. The story would take place after Jacob storms off after truth or dare and instead of Emma going to find Jacob, it would be the reader this time. They do the swimming scene, almost kiss, get interrupted by the werewolves, but instead of running into the woods, they hide in the kitchen. And then smut

A/N — I’m decided to leave the smut part out of it, hope you don’t mind, I thought this fic was kinda cute and fluffy so-

──────. • ☆:*.☽ .* :☆ﾟ• . ──────

You watched your sister lock lips with Nick, already you could sense the tension, it was thick, smouldering, you could see the pain behind Jacob’s eyes, his mouth hanging agape in shock, why would Emma do such a thing? Especially in-front of Abi too.

You coughed loud enough to break up the kiss Emma being Emma stuck her tongue out at you before plonking herself back on the log beside an angry Abi.

It took no longer then a look her way for her to practically jump to her feet, running away from the crackling campfire towards the forest.

“You like kissing my girlfriend asshole?”

Jacob bucked up his chest, glaring down at the Aussie counsellor. Nick looked guilty, of course he did, but knowing Jacob, he wasn’t one to let things go so easily.

“It was just a game-“

“I’m nobody’s girlfriend”

You shake your head at your sister’s response, she had no remorse, not even in the slightest. You could sense the anger which irradiated from Jacob’s figure.

“The fuck it was. “Oh, it was just a game!” Yeah, the fuck it was, man!”

He began to mimic his best friend, still looking him up and down like he was really looking for a fight, or something, something to at-least show everyone that Emma was off limits. You were so sick of this Alpha-male bullshit but you really sympathised with him, especially with how everyone had been treating him this summer.

Jacob twists on his heel, stomping away from the camp which was a clear indication of how he felt, he had every right to feel that way, Emma dangled a carrot in front of his face, how was he suppose to act.

“Grow up, Jacob”

You gather your thoughts, immediately rising to your feet, fuck, somebody had to check on him and he probably really didn’t want to see Emma right now, not after tonight.

“Well done horse face, way to go-“

You follow in Jacob’s footsteps, quickly jogging after him in a pace that suited you.

──☆──

You were met with the glistening waters of Hackett’s quarry lake, the water slightly jiggling in place, the moon’s reflection shimmering over the slightly murky water.

You could hear splashes, ones that were not to big but big enough to give up Jacob’s where-about’s. You slowly made your way over the creaking wood, the small dock isolated, attached to the empty boat deck.

“Jacob?” You whisper sweetly, watching the bigger male forcefully throw pebbles into the lake, maybe it was a distraction, one that reframed him from replaying the exact moment his whole world tumbled down.

“Go away-“

“It’s me…”

You trail off. He wasn’t surprised, but glad, glad you had followed behind, at-least someone was fond of him. His frown settled into a small smirk, a weak smirk that hid away his true feelings.

You sit yourself beside him. Immediately you could tell he had been crying, from his slightly puffy, red eyes to the clear tears that stained his olive skinned cheeks

It was silent between the two of you, not that you minded, Jacob actually preferred it that way, enjoying your company with the silence that followed but of course, you were way to sweet to keep quiet.

“Jacob…look at me”

He did, but his smirk faded, instead it was replaced with that frown from before. You could sense how hurt he was from, judging by his sniffling he wasn’t going to stop feeling sorry for himself any time soon and that in itself broke your heart, you had to do something.

“She fucking frenched him- in front of everyone…jesus wept”

You watched a distraught Jacob scramble to his feet, pacing back and forth. He could feel the dry tears on his cheek, the extra amount of spit clinging to his tongue from not swallowing as often, god…really.

“Well…lover boy, you can either stop sulking over her, and Nick, or…you can go grab us some towels”

Jacob stopped in his tracks before turning to face you, confusion written all over his features, his brows furrowed as if you had just stepped on his toe.

“What do you need towels for?”

You smile, which had Jacob’s heart thump slightly faster…fuck, what was going on.

“Well, since you agreed with Emma, summer fun an all and after that kiss, I’m sure she’s the last person you want to see…our Summer isn’t over just yet…”

Jacob watches you kick off your shoes, your fingers already grabbing at your zipper, Emma has already managed to fuck the night up for pretty much everyone, and your love for Jacob grew by the second, why not sweep up the opportunity to get closer, with it being just the two of you.

Jacob perked up slightly before muttering a more happier “okay”. You watched the older male scurry off, maybe it was the vibe, or the urgency to have some fun but Jacob seemed pretty into this…

──☆──

“There’s not towels!” Jacob shouted down from the upper boat deck. With the kids being rather rampant and destructive, you were sure a few smuggled some home, not that it was an issue.

“None?!”

Jacob stood glaring at the empty wooden panels, clearly his luck was non-existent by this point.

“There’s exactly zero.”

“You dick”

You joke, not that it was the right time but still, no towels, you were going to freeze to death, even in summer the air was cool, cooler then usual.

“Just get back down here, Jacob…”

──☆──

“Huh, okay well I guess we could just like, drip dry. Or I mean we could shake it out doggy style”

You blush at his comment, your eyes focusing on how eased and free he was, he felt a little more in the present now, not that he’s over Emma’s actions yet but it was something.

You both chuckle before slipping down your trousers, leaving you in just your boxers which immediately caught his attention. He watched as you practically hid yourself by turning away, facing the water.

“I-“

Before he could even speak you dive head first into the water with a short squeal, one that left Jacob with a blooming sense of joy, something that spread through his body, his chest…

“Hey- I can’t just pretend it didn’t happen-“

“Oh but you can. Because, you see, oh help, help, I’m- I’m drowning. And I- I need a big, strong not at all insecure man to come and save me…”

You giggle before settling your eyes on his naked chest…fuck, he really had you wrapped around his finger. He blushes at your comments, you helped him forget about her and you actually cared about how he was feeling.

“Okay…”

You watch as he pushes his shoulder forwards before slightly flexing, buffing up his chest.

“What’s this? A male in need?! Fear not, fragile thing- for Hurricane Jake is here!”

He jumps high enough to tuck his legs underneath him, his arms holding them up creating a ball-like shape.

“CANNONBALL-“

The splash was big, but you chuckle, watching his head dunk underneath for a second before reappearing, he grimaced at the coldness now surrounding him.

“Woah, cold! Oh! Cold, cold, cold. Oh my- Cold. Oh. Phew”

You giggle watching the older male shiver, you could tell he would get use to it though, you smile, finally he looked a little bit happier, if only for a split second.

“Hurricane Jake?”

Your smile only encourages the butterflies in his stomach to spread up into his chest, a rush of adrenaline running through him, or something of the sorts had a raspy laugh escape him.

You playfully splash him before scooting away a bit, knowing Jacob would do the same back.

“Oh, okay, okay, now you’re gonna get it. See?”

Scooting closer, Jacob uses his strength to his ability, forcing a big splash to topple over your hair, soaking it. You squeal feeling each, single droplet pass by your ears and neck, eventually back into the water.

You giggle once again before shooting him a despicable glance, splashing him back.

“Hey! Quit it!”

You roll your eyes playfully knowing full well he was having fun, maybe the most fun he’s had all summer, especially here anyways.

“Oh! Stop! Being! A! Grump”

You use both hands to paddle small splashes back his way causing him smirk, his arms dunk underneath the water disappearing from view before he slyly pushes water back onto you.

“Ugh! Attack!”

You flinch before shooting him a glare.

“Ahhh! Hey!”

Before you could even respond, the male takes a large breath before ducking beneath the water. You look around, trying to catch whatever plan he calculated in his head.

A forceful hand yanks your leg quickly, dragging you underneath. You yelp before the water consumes you. You can already hear the deep laughter erupting from his chest before coming back up to the surface.

Your eyes squint, stopping the water from blurring your vision.

“Dick move.”

You feel his arms secure your waist against his own, the water softening the fabric between you both even more…fuck, was this really happening.

“Jacob…”

You look up into his eyes, capturing that same glint he wore when he accidentally walked in on you showering, something dark, but not entirely lustful, the way his arms soothed over your lower back had you judging his motive.

“Yeah…”

He mutters back, his lips mere inches from your own, you could feel his breath fan across your cheek. You sigh, allowing the older male to pull your bottom half closer until your chest’s were touching.

“Is this okay? I can move away if-“

You shake your head before lifting it, close enough for his plump lips to rub against them.

“Please…Please don’t-“

Your breath hitches once Jacob pushes for the kiss, attaching your lips together. His arms keep you close, holding you against his front. He grunts, your teeth sinking into his bottom lip, tugging on it.

He watches you closely once you pull away, a light blush dusting his cheeks a pale red. The air was getting cooler, much like the water surrounding you both which encouraged you to take ahold of one of Jacob’s hands, pulling him towards the dock.

“You’re okay with this?”

You mutter. You weren’t really sure what was happening between the two of you, jealousy doesn’t run far from the tree, yes you were super jealous of you’re sister, but now, now you had the chance to show Jacob how you really felt, especially with how inviting the situation had become.

You feel a tug back before you sink back into his chest, his arm wrapping around your shoulder blades, your faces close once again.

“Not in a million years would I imagine this…but you- I realise now…”

[moviemunchies]

Guy Ritchie made a shoot ‘em up movie about fighting Nazis?! Sign me the fudge up!

Wait, what do you mean it’s more of a heist movie?

The story goes like this: during World War II, Britain needs aid, but the German submarines are preventing both Americans from joining Europe and the British from full naval mobility. Brigadier Colin Gubbins, or M, decides to enact Operation Postmaster: an off-the-books mission to send a strike team to the Spanish-controlled Fernando Po, an island south of Cameroon, where the Nazis store their U-boat supplies, and sink the ship holding those supplies. Leading the mission is Major March-Phillips, known for being a bit off-the-rails, and he recruits a team of other difficult-to-handle soldiers to complete the operation. Meanwhile, agents Richard Heron and Marjorie Stewart go to Fernando Po to establish and report intelligence there.

Despite what the ads for the film would make you think, this movie is not nonstop, Nazi-shooting action. There is a lot of Nazi-shooting action, but much of this movie is about espionage and collecting information. Which is fun, it’s just not what you’re led to believe by the trailers.

The movie has a problem that pretty much plagues all team movies: the development of an entire team of characters isn’t entirely that well-done. I get it–in a limited runtime, it’s difficult to make sure that every character is memorable and has a developed backstory and personality. Still, there are a couple of guys who I kept mixing up, and I couldn’t really tell you much about most of their backstories. They’re still fun to watch blasting away Nazis, though.

Speaking of which: the Nazis in this movie are really, really bad at surviving. By all means, I’m happy to show Nazis as bad at war, but these guys are incredibly dumb. Though they’re not exactly running into oncoming fire, they still are slow to pick up when an enemy is around them, don’t use any cover, can’t hear gunshots until they’re in front of them, and have remarkably lax security protocols. It’s very easy for our heroes to mow through them. It’s not so much that our heroes are that skilled, like in a movie such as the Magnificent Seven remake, it’s that the villains are bad at staying alive. Yes, it makes for fun action scenes, but not excellent ones.

Also, isn’t there a way to intercept radio or telegraph signals? I thought it was a little convenient that the Nazis never picked up on those when the heroes sent them.

Like many Ritchie movies, the soundtrack for the film is pretty great. I don’t think it’s as memorable as Legend of the Sword or Man from UNCLE; however, it’s still quite good, and manages to be unique enough that it doesn’t sound like every other World War II movie. A good soundtrack doesn’t necessarily make a movie, but it’s a good indicator that people behind the scenes cared about the presentation.

The actors are clearly having a good time in their roles. As they should! It’s a fun movie. Henry Cavill is a standout, though–apparently some of his character’s mannerisms were improvised by him, which to me shows that he was having a blast. And that’s good! If it’s not only a good time to watch, but it was apparently a good time to act in.

Random side note about Churchill! I feel as if the Winston Churchill of this movie was a bit underwhelming; I don’t know if that was a miscast, or if it was that we’ve had fantastic actors playing Churchill in the past (Gary Oldman comes to mind) so this one isn’t fair to compare? Whatever. Just a thought.

Overall then, Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare is a good time. It’s fun, it’s fast, and it’s straightforward. It’s not going to be anyone’s favorite World War II movie, both because it’s not that serious, and because the action, while fun, isn’t particularly clever. It’s still a fun way to spend a couple of hours, and I think if you wanted to see a cool and stylish World War II action heist movie, this film will scratch that itch.

[lorablackmane]

A Step into the Final Path

Listen, I think I speak for all of us when I say I wish we could tell Ben the truth. That being said (pulls out a mallet-). Anyway enjoy and don't read this if u haven't gotten past the fishing minigame!

Consciousness came to Cursor slowly alongside wave upon wave of pain. They wanted to go back to sleep, ignore it. Stay laying wherever they were despite how rough it was... 

Wait... where were they? That felt important, but why- 

Oh. Oh... that's right, the lake! 

Nelson!! 

Cursor jumped up, looking around for their companion. However... he was nowhere to be found. And somehow they were no longer in the depths of the lake: they were back at Nelson's home, on his pier. There wasn't any boats nearby - which meant Skye wasn't here, a small blessing. 

...But then, how did they get here? Was he okay? He must be - they couldn't have pulled themselves onto the pier, and those fish were vicious. Maybe he pulled them up and went inside his home to grab something that he could use to defend them? 

If he did, then... then Cursor would help him! They could fight too, and he'd rescued them: it was up to them to repay the favor. 

Their mind made up, they cautiously crept towards the front door- 

Only to immediately feel their heartbeat skyrocket once more. 

The house was destroyed, and after checking both the living room and bedroom the only traces of the frog were bloody bandages heading towards the front door. The glass that'd once been centralized to the cabinet was now littering the entire floor... along with something else? Cursor couldn't make it out, so they moved closer and pushed some of the glass off of it. 

It was a photo of Ben, Nelson, and... someone else - maybe Skye? Cursor couldn't tell as a part of it was missing. Feeling compelled to pick it up, they hid it by tucking it next to the lining of their thumb. 

Nelson probably wouldn't want to return here, especially since Skye knew this place. Cursor would keep this safe until they met up again. 

Family was important to him after all. 

After exploring the upper room again and grabbing the lantern, they took one last glance around before setting out into the forest. They had to find their friend. 

♧--♧ 

Tears obscured Ben's vision, making the forest blurry as he tried to navigate home. He knew it'd be best to pause and take a breath, let his emotions center themselves so he wouldn't be distracted but - but - 

He'd always been terrible at that, it - it was dad who would help him. And! And now he was gone, Ben would never see him again-!! 

"Aah!" 

A tree root he hadn't seen tripped the young frog. 

The foliage didn't stop him as he rolled down, down, down and further into the forest. The branches kept trying to tear at his skin which left burning, itchy lines across his limbs. Leaves found their way into his hair and holes the branches left some even finding their way into the scratches to make them worse. It felt like it'd never end... but eventually he stopped. With a yelp he landed on his face, which wasn't fun. It was better than if he kept rolling though, he guessed- 

Krkrtch 

Ben tensed, turning towards the tall grass near him. There... was there something there? 

Krkrtchkrctk! 

There was and - and it was getting closer. Ben stumbled to his feet, attempting to make himself bigger despite how scared he felt and the pain jolting through his body due to the fabric of his clothes rubbing against his scratches. He remembered his dad said some creatures in the forest wouldn't hurt you if they thought you were the scarier predator. 

Hopefully this was one of them. 

The brush parted... 

And the white glove popped out. 

Oh, well now he felt so stupid.

Getting all worked up because of a glove. He glared at them though - just because he fell on his head didn't mean he forgot they didn't do anything to help dad. "What do you want?!" 

The glove paused, then turned palms up towards him. Their thumb kept what was in their palm trapped, but Ben couldn't tell what it was besides being made out of paper. 

He didn't want whatever it was though. He wasn't going to let them manipulate him again. He shoved them away, only for them to push against his arm again. His blood boiled and he growled out, "I don't want-!" 

His voice left him as he made out the figures in the photo. 

It was... it was the photo Skye took when they first met her. A chunk of it was missing, the remnants stained somewhat red... but it was still that once treasured memory. With shaky hands he took it from the gloves grip. "W-where... where did you get this?" 

They started making symbols with their hands... but Ben had never seen them before. He thought he recognized an 'o,' but it could've been an 'a.' He spoke, "I'm... I don't know what you're trying to say." 

Grabbing a stick, the glove started pushing it into the ground. The stick got a 'y' down before it broke with a heavy snap!

They weren't disheartened though, instead grabbing a new stick to try again. After a few moments, there were words engraved in the forest floor. Your home. Skye lied to us. 

His eyes widened for a second... then Ben scoffed. "So what if she lied to your group of Handy Pals? She killed him and you-!" 

They shook themselves rapidly, distracting him from what he was about to say, and continued. Not Handy Pals. Your dad & I. She said she'd let you go if I lived. 

She didn't. She hurt us. 

O-oh. 

The dam was starting to crack. He wouldn't let it though - he couldn't trust them. With a shaking breath Ben heard himself speak, "You... you really tried to help him? How - I don't- how am I supposed to believe you?! What if you're lying just like her?!" 

They jumped back with the same force they would've flown if Ben had slapped the glove away. He felt bad for a second, but it faded quickly. He knew better than to trust someone to have his best interests at heart now. Why wouldn't this glove lie if it meant they could use him for something like they did at the house?! 

They seemed to think about it at least. Let me prove it then, by helping you. 

Ben sniffled... then got up, "Alright then, prove it. Help me get home, glove." 

It was more forceful than was allowed in polite conversation, but the glove did as they were told. They led him across the river, zipping in front then returning once the glove had made sure there was nothing hunting on the path. The first time they'd done it he thought they were leaving him. By the 3rd time he'd been painfully reminded of how his dad would sometimes do hunts with Ben, so he shoved it out of his mind and paid the little piece of velvet as little attention as he could. He only started focusing on it again when they were almost to his home since the glove finally did something strange. 

It paused before the bend... then motioned for him to cover his eyes. 

He wasn't sure why, but he did as they asked and covered his eyes. Maybe he thought they'd finally show their true colors and leave him and he'd resigned himself to that fate. Or they'd give Skye some signal and she'd stab him in the back, ending his pain, as little as that made sense. Maybe.. maybe a part of him did believe they had his best interests at heart, and trusted them that whatever was on the other side of the turn was something he'd regret seeing. 

Whatever the reason was subconsciously, he hadn't expected the glove to grab the hand that wasn't covering his eyes. Once it had his hand they started leading him along the last leg of the journey to his home. It.. it felt surprisingly good to trust them like this.

Like they had in Sky- in her music room. The feeling was probably fleeting... but Ben found himself keeping his hand over his eyes longer than he needed to keep the feeling a little bit longer. It was only after he felt the first step against his knee did he finally remove his hand.

Though he knew if the glove hadn't brought him here he would have never trusted them; Ben found himself wishing they didn't come. 

The house was a mess. 

Bandages with bloodstains and glass shards littered the floor, and the windows had hastily thrown up boards covering them. The once happy home, where he'd learned how to clean a fish and had cooked stew with his dad's watchful eyes over his shoulder... it was gone. The house he entered was lifeless, more like a carcass. He couldn't bring himself to go in, instead standing in the broken doorway and wishing this was all a dream.

...It wasn't of course.

At some point the glove had left. He wasn't sure what they were doing, too distracted by his own anguish, but he heard the sound of metal hitting dirt over and over. Eventually they came back and he let them pull him outside. He wasn't sure where they were going until he noticed the pile of dirt next to where the lake met the edge of the forest clearing their home was built on.

He didn't understand why it was there... until he saw his father's hat and a stone sitting upon the pile. 

A grave. 

They'd made his father a grave next to the water he loved so dearly.

Like an overwhelmed dam, this little action finally made Ben truly break.

With a wail the boy fell to his knees, grabbing the dirty cap and holding it with the last photo of his shattered family. His cries echoed through the forest, a sorrowful melody whose strength was so great not even the most monstrous creatures within go near. He cried, and everything fell around him - even his companion's attempts to comfort him as he wept. 

The moon watched over the two until it couldn't anymore, and with it, his cries slowly petered off. His companion continued to rub his back and remove leaves they found in an attempt to bring him even a single modicum of reassurance.

"...There's nothing for me here, is there?" 

They paused their comforting ministrations for a second. They stayed like that for a while, Ben found himself wishing they were as easy to read as- 

No. 

His grip tightened.

No he wouldn't think about him. His glove friend tapped his shoulder, then pointed down to the ground where something was written. ...He hadn't even seen them write, which was a bit worrying since it was right next to his feet. But he'd deal with that later. One problem at a time: wasn't that what the hunter believed in?

He knelt down to read the message a bit easier in the low moonlight. What about your other family members? 

"...I don't know where they are." He had been so little when they'd last met. Hi... his father said he was thinking of bringing Ben to visit in the summer, so he'd know where they were in case something happened. 

He wished his father hadn't put off the trip now. The glove (it seemed mean to just call them that, after all they'd done for him, maybe Lil Buddy would work?) seemed to think about this for a moment. They rubbed their thumb against their palm before jumping up and grabbing their stick again. You can join me! : D 

"W... would your family really be okay with that?" 

Lil Buddy stopped... then wiped across the ground. They slowly wrote out one simple sentence with their stick. 

No family. 

...Oh. 

Now that Ben thought about it, he'd never seen a Handy Pal like this one, had he? All the ones Skye had near her were garden gloves like the pair she wore. 

...Did she kill their family like she killed the one with a silver ring? Did she find this one afterwards on it's own, knowing they were the last member of their family, and decide to take it in? 

It must've really hurt how she betrayed them then... just as she had with him. 

His grip on the photo and the hat tightened, remembering the gentleness of his Lil Buddy. He'd been so mean to them; yet they stayed with him. They brought him this last remnant of his father and made sure he didn't have to see what Skye did to him. They'd made sure his dad had a proper grave. Lil Buddy made sure he was okay no matter how scary things were. 

Yet, they had no one to do the same for them. They... they were both alone here. "Then... then let's be our own family!" 

He jumped up, and headed towards his room. It probably scared Lil Buddy, but he was too focused on his mission. 

There wasn't much left for him here, but there was something he needed to do before they left. And it involved an old gift. 

The lens was cracked, but luckily he had a handful of spares his... his father had given him for his birthday a few months ago. With practiced ease he switched them out. Then Ben placed the strap connected to the camera around his neck as the glove entered the room. "Hey, Lil Buddy, can you stand there for a second?"

They jumped up, then settled against the ladder. His hands were shaky, the reminder of her still heavy in the air... but he had to do this. 

Click! 

The flash was blinding, so bright it even seemed to mess up Lil Buddy despite not having eyes! He almost lost the picture, though luckily they recovered faster than he did and caught it. 

"Thanks Lil Buddy." With the final component, Ben got to work. Shaking the film, he grabbed some tape from his bag. The photo was a bit blurry, and the lighting was rough; but it was perfect in his eyes. Now that he had everything else, there was just one more piece he needed. Bringing out the photo Lil Buddy gave him he set it on his dresser. 

He moved the other photo until Lil Buddy was where Sk... where she had been originally. Once satisfied, he taped them together and held the finished product between his fingers. 

It was messy, and a bit crumpled, but... it was their family now. 

"Okay, let's go Lil' Buddy." 

[blue-scorpion-king]

Pretty Cures VS Millennium; The most unlikely of clashes.

This is one of the craziest crossovers I have ever imagined, and typed out, in my life. Ever. This is how I imagine the fight between two unlikely opponents. An group vs another. Two groups from series in completely different tones. And two different genres. Outside of my crossover universe too.

Trigger warning: Millennium is made up of Nazi vampires, even with that the Major doesn't follow the philosophy of Nazism. Only wanting to start war so he can have fun.

------------

The fight between the Pretty Cures, the beloved magical girl warriors, and Ze Major and his organization, Millennium (Hellsing). This is how I imagine the clash would be like, in Yokohama, like with some All Star events, through some pictures and complete German said amongst the Millennium vampire soldiers/soldaten. And it happening at the early hours of the night, right when the moon is a bit ways up in the sky. After a long day of fun for the girls. Where the sudden explosions and fires startle the Cures and everyone else. And they see this Zeppelin, the LZ-131 Deus Ex Machina, in the sky.

(Note: But without Hellsing or Iscariot around.)

That crazy Major is actually doing it. He will bring an war to the Cures and making this attack feel like an WW2 airship attack. The first wave of V1 rockets, and V2 rockets, shook the city of Yokohama and the people has already started their running from the sudden chaos. But, the Pretty Cures have already transformed and scale some buildings to stand on their roofs. Some looking absolutely frightened, but trying to keep themselves upright, and others look furious. The first time they encountered The Major at Yokohama's Hikawa Maru ship museum is nothing like right now. Sure, his evil beliefs and his plan to just have an 'fun' war with the Pretty Cures, for the heck of it, is sickening. But, the girls thought he would be like the other villains they have fought. Tonight, they have been proven very wrong.

Especially with dealing an whole army group worth of one million Nazi German vampires. (Where the Zeppelins are big enough in this scenario to hold 333+ thousand people.) (Unlike in canon Hellsing for this situation, in 2024, not 1998.)

"Jaaaaa. Die stadt ist jetzt hellwach und verängstigt." "Bereiten Sie die nächsten 10 Salven nachgerüsteter V1s und V2s!" "Bereiten Sie sich darauf vor, den Vampir fallen zu lassen Waffen Schutzstaffel!!" "Und auch unsere Drehflügler und Artillerie." "Vergessen Sie nicht die Zugübernahmen." "Jawohl." So, the Pretty Cures split up in half for civilians to be evacuated and taken to safety, while the others fight these undead vampire German soldaten in one of their strangest and yet, intense fights to date. Especially with that they are actually getting shot at, causing a lot of dodges and close calls.

And seeing a lot of four rotor Fa 223 V3 Drache helicopters, not just the Nazi vampire troopers, drop from the 3 Millennium Zepplins. Alongside rolling artillery guns and machine guns for positions because they have to deal with the Yokohama police, the 'gun otakus', the Buddhist & Shinto religious personnel even, with items and weapons that can harm vampires & other monsters like them, being holy, blessed, the such, even with not being linked to Christianity, like with the magic Pretty Cures, and even the Yakuzas in this city. Not just their prime Pretty Cure enemies.

AND taking over a lot of trains to use to get around too.

LZ-131 Deus Ex Machina, or the 'Sea Lion' (The Major's command airship). LZ-132 Eisenwolfen (Commanded by Zorin Blitz). & LZ-133 Himmelstiger (Commanded by 'Dandy Man' Tubalcain Alhambra & Schrödinger).

All fire proof. No Hindenberg the 2nd when it comes to the Pretty Cures who have magical fire and lightning.

Even hearing some screaming over an police car that an U-boat type submarine has been spotted by the coastal guard.

One within an fleet of 15 Type VIIB U-boat type submarines to be exact. All of the U-boats the Deux Ex Machina had.

But, they have their magic power and martial prowess to get through this rather gothic sounding night situation. They have to fight and beat down these vampires who dare and try to harm and end lives. Not demotivate, corrupt, or cause despair through magic. Facing the falling vampire Waffens, the clashes were immense with gunfire, rocket fire, and dashes of high vampiric speed mixed with the Pretty Cures' movements. One V-Waffen: "Verdammt ihr rüschenmädchen! Wenn man bedenkt, dass wir von Leuten wie euch zurückgedrängt werden, statt von den kaiserlichen japanischen samurai." Cure Grace: "You are trying to crush this city and everyone in it! With no remorse in those red eyes of yours! I wouldn't forgive that!" "I can't allow you to drink the blood of everyone!"

Through portable radios: "Männer! Meiden Sie die Pretty Cures, deren Magie mit Licht verbunden ist, darunter Cure Sunshine, Cure Sunny und Cure Soleil." "Sie haben die Bilder aus dem Geheimdienst schon Wochen vor dieser Nacht gesehen." "Versuchen Sie nicht, sie anzugreifen, es sei denn, es ist unbedingt nötig." "Diese Mädchen gehen mit der größten Schwäche eines Vampirs umher!" "Aber Hauptsturmführer 'Hunde', der sich um keine Sonne sorgen muss, & Oberleutnant Rip Van Winkle würden es mit ihnen aufnehmen! Ihre Muskete und ihre magische Kugel würden sie von ihrem Licht fernhalten." "Allerdings könnt ihr Cure Moonlight angreifen, da Zweiterleutnant Alhambra auf dem Weg zu ihrem Standort ist. Er will mit ihr Karten austeilen." "Also los, Männer!" "Ich wiederhole: Versuchen Sie NICHT, sie zu bekämpfen!" "Jawohl!"

Rip Van Winkle: "Bastler, Schneider, Soldat, Matrose." "Meine Kugel bestraft alle ohne Unterschied." "Und es wird die Musketenkugel Ikarus sein, die gegen die Sonne erfolgreich sein wird!"

Cure Soliel: "*Gasp!* Sunny! Look out! Below you!"

I V

Cure Sunny: "You wanna go, wolf man!?"

The Captain: "..."

---

Cure Rosetta on her phone: "Sebastian. Any status on the hijacking attempt on their radio line?" "Yes, madam. But, it is all in German and it will take some time to re-familiarize myself with the language. I will get back to you when the full transcripts are done." "For now, they are avoiding Pretty Cures that are linked to the Sun, except for an 'Hound' captain and an musket wielding first lieutenant." "And these vampires soldiers, along with an 2nd Lieutenant Alhambra, are speeding towards Cure Moonlight's location at Rinko Park." "I know I should be there in Yokohama. But, no one didn't expect this attack. Especially with me back in the manor." "I know. We are trying our best, even with all of our first times getting shot at from real guns and rockets." "Nazi German guns more specifically. As shameful as this is to say, I have seen them up close in my youth." "Shameful because of the alliance back then?" "Yes, madam." "I am not just saying this as an butler to his master, but also coming from the heart." "Do beat those abhorrents that dare to attack our country after their defeat nearly 80 years ago."

-----

"Cure Moonlight gefleckt auf voraus! Panzerfausts anordnung, männer!" "Zweiterleutnant Alhambra would be here any second now, but don't rush." "Jawohl!" Cure Moonlight: "In the name of Yokohama, the light of the moon, and the night, I will cast you all out."

Within the Deus Ex Machina: "Es läuft besser, als ich gehofft hatte. Das ist ausgezeichnet! Ich wusste, dass diese tempowechsel die richtige Entscheidung sein würde!" ("Things are going better than I have hoped. This is excellent! I knew taking this change of pace would be the right choice!") "Lassen Sie nun die Panther Vs per Fallschirm fallen, eine ganze Panzerkompanie, , aktivieren die Haunebu II Untertasse, und lassen Sie die Messerschmitt Me 262 fliegen." (Now, drop the Panthers via parachutes, a whole tank company worth of them, plus some more, activate the Haunebu II saucer, and let the Messerschmitt Me 262 fly.)

Those in the 50 Panther V tanks as they are fling out of the Zepplin: "Sieg heil zu Major Montana! Panzer Vor!"

Further chaos was made like napalm dumped from an drum barrel to an fire when the Millennium dropped Panther tanks got parachuted to the streets. And the Pretty Cures, the ones who are still evacuating and guiding civilians, including highly scared children, to safety, while the others are fighting the vampire soldiers, have to deal with real, shell firing tanks now. Everyone is their targets. No exceptions and the implications makes some the magical warriors sick to their stomachs. These soldaten turned undead, self-forged fighting machines truly fit the moniker of monsters. More than any monster of the day or week that the Cures have fought to this point. Too many close calls for them to experience without feeling their spirit flare with righteous anger. Including Cure Miracle, in her Ruby Form alongside Cure Magical, catching an tank shell with her hands to quickly throw behind her, which it explodes.

An Unteroffizer screams: "Fuer!" Cure Magical gasps at the continuously firing of the tanks , even with the destruction of many of them before this moment. They are trying to overwhelm both her and Cure Miracle.

Cure Miracle when she caught the Panther V tank shell with her fiery hands.

"You monsters!! You will not take the lives we have sworn as Pretty Cure to protect!" "We are stronger together than any of you vile vampires! Back in your war and right now!"

"Hol sie!"

While 120 Panzer IVs, 50 Tiger 1s by the sides of the 50 Panther Vs, and even 30 fully functional Mauses got parachuted down to the warring streets of Yokohama.

And all 10 *Rattes* that Millennium had. With hidden black magic embedded in all of them in order to make them lighter in weight.

----

And above the streets of the city of Yokohama turned warzone, Cure Sky dodges large bullets and flies really fast to outmove the Me-262 jet fighter plane, who is doing a dogfight with her. As much as this scene looks like an fever dream to the civilians below. Cure Sky: "You will go down, monster in that plane!"

-Specifically, the Me 262 HG-III high speed model of the Me-262 fighter jet.

"Übernehme das Kommando auf der Deus Ex Machina! Cure Sky ist in meinem Visier! Ich fange mit dem Luftkampf an! Wünsch mir Glück!" ("To command on the Deus Ex Machina! Cure Sky is in my sights! I am commencing the dogfight! Wish me luck!") From the Haunebu II saucercraft flying to the dogfight: "Ich habe deinen rücken!" ("I got your back!")

And after Cure Sky manages to take out both aircraft, the Major orders an massive wave of 100 other Me-262 HG-IIIs to overwhelm Cure Sky. Speeding from the Deux Ex Machina alongside an ton of V1 and V2 rockets, all heat seeking their target. With the aircraft acutely aware to let the rockets go after Cure Sky ahead of them and keep their distance until they all explode and just fire at her.

Though, other Pretty Cures who can fly, and who can shoot projectiles mainly, comes to her aid soon after.

An Luftwaffe Hauptmann, ordering his men after he got his direct order from Ze Major, and overlooking the fighter jets in the zeppelin deck: "Piloten!" "Das geheime 29. Düsengeschwader, die Hell Bats, wird zum ersten Mal seit fast 8 Jahrzehnten dort draußen fliegen!" "Dies ist unsere Zeit bei dieser Operation!" "Unsere 101. Me-262 und einzige Untertasse wurde von der Pretty Cure, die durch ihre Magie fliegt, ausgeschaltet!" "Aber das waren nur 2 Flugzeuge!" "Sie kann nicht hoffen, die Macht von 100 Me-262 und 4.000 V1 und V2 zu überwinden, abgesehen von den geplanten 10 Raketenwellen." "Also, raus da und lasst sie auf den Boden stürzen!" "Sie wird hinterher für einige von euch Jungs ein Appetithäppchen sein." "Hehehe..."

("Pilots!") ("The secret 29th Düsengeschwader, the Hell Bats, will fly out there for the first time in nearly 8 decades!") ("This is our time in this operation!") ("Our 101th Me-262 and only saucer has been taken out by the Pretty Cure who is flying through her magic! Cure Sky!") ("But, those were just 2 aircraft!") ("She can't hope to overcome the might of 100 Me-262s and 4,000 V1s and V2s, separate from the planned 10 waves of the rockets.") ("So, get out there and plummet her down to the ground!") ("She will make an appetizer for some of you boys afterwards.") ("Hehehe…")

And he gets in his own personal Me-262 as one of the 100 jets.

-----

Then, finally, after getting driven back and having to maneuver creatively, the Japanese Self Defense Force arrived to aid civilians, the Yokohama city police force, the Yakuza, and the Pretty Cures.

(With scenes in my head referencing the Gate JSDF anime, but with that these enemies know guns, dodges bullets, and aren't stupid/ignorant of what they are up against.)

Along with Sebastian, Cure Rosetta's butler back in the Yotsuba family mansion home in Oogai Town, where he dons his old WW2 era lieutenant uniform. An uniform he wore from 19 to 21 years old, from 1943 to 1945. Coming in not just as an butler, but as an British man who have fought the Nazis back then. As the only survivor of his platoon since the siege of Berlin.

With his guns and sabre, which he blessed at an church from rumors of vampires while at Berlin. And he blessed his bullets at the local church of Oogai Town before making his way to help relief the JSDF and get to Yokohama as quickly as he can.

Even though he knows he is just an normal, but fit old man at this point, which the Millennium vampires are still stronger than even his capable self at age 100.

An vampire Untersturmfuhrer: "Ohhhhhhhh! Ich hätte nicht erwartet, dass jemand wie Sie, Leutnant Sebastian Raidwalker, als einfacher Mensch hierherkommt! Ich kann Ihnen nur sagen, dass Sie 100 Jahre alt sind und jeden Tag auf die Knie fallen werden." "Sie haben es mit Metalltüren brechenden und mit Überschallgeschwindigkeit rennenden Vampiren wie uns zu tun!" "Sie und diese kränklich aussehende Selbstverteidigungstruppe. Dieses Land wird durch seine eigenen Verträge gelähmt und hat nie eine richtige Armee aufgestellt, um sich gegen Angriffe wie diese zu verteidigen." "Wie dumm können Sie sein, alter Mann, hierherzukommen und zu versuchen, gegen uns zu kämpfen?!" "Schon damals in Berlin mussten Sie Ihren Körper bis an die Grenzen verausgaben, um einen von uns geheimen Vampirtruppen auf Befehl des verstorbenen Führers zu töten?!" "Und auf Befehl des Majors!?" "Ja!" "Was für eine Frechheit Sie nach all den Jahren haben."

(I didn't expect someone like you, lieutenant Sebastian Raidwalker, to come over here as an mere man! I can just tell you are 100 years old and any day now, you will kneel over. You are up against metal door bending and super sonic running vampires like us! You and that sickly looking self defense force. This country being crippled by its own treaties and never raise an proper army to defend itself from attacks like this. How stupid can you be, old man, to come here and try to fight us?! Even back in Berlin, you had to put your body to the limit to kill any of us secret vampire troopers by the late Fuhrer's orders?! And the Major's orders!? Ja! The gall you have after these years.)

Sebastian, his blessed officer sabre drawn: "Be silent! Keep your venomous words behind your abominable teeth." "I did not come here to hear your verbal graveling. But to face those who should have stayed dead. Those who are the reason why all of my platoon is dead. Except for me."

"I could have an wish for one last bout of combat to protect, but I got specific orders from my master and her parents to never die." "Orders are orders." "And for my British pride, and duty, I will make sure you will join your Fuhrer in *hell*."

"Wie kannst du es wagen, du alte Fotze!? Jetzt geht es los! Ich werde dafür sorgen, dass du gebrochen wirst, weil du uns Kreaturen der Nacht trotzt!"

("How dare you, you old c**t!? It is on now! I will make sure to break you for defying us creatures of the night!")

Cue 'Survival on the Street of Insincerity' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q5ODUgCCUcI).

----- Meanwhile, at the southern part of Yokohoma, the other Millennium Zeppelin, the LZ-132 Eisenwolf, captained by one of its elite vampire commanders, Zorin Blitz, grits her teeth in frustration, now that her grin is gone upon the 4th wave of V1 & V2 rockets were all shot down by the magic projectiles of several Pretty Cures that sniped all them rockets. Cure Aqua, Cure Sword, Cure Beauty, Cure March, Cure Selene, Cure Peace, Cure Sparkle, Cure Flamingo, & Cure Twinkle in her Shooting Star dress, wielding her Crystal Princess Rod.

"Argh! Mach das Licht an!" ("Turn on the lights!") "Ja, Oberleutnant Zorin!"

Inner thoughts: ["Diese Mädchen haben es geschafft, die Raketen mit bloßen magischen Pfeilen und Kugeln abzuschießen? So stark wie Flugabwehrartilleriegeschosse?"] ["Dass diese Kinder solche Zauberkräfte haben, ist ein problem. Und dumm, egal, wie man es dreht und wendet. Einschließlich ihrer spielzeuge."] (["These girls managed to shoot down the rockets with mere magic arrows and spheres? As strong as anti-aircraft artillery shells?"]) (["These kids having magic like this is an problem. And stupid no matter how you look at it. Including their toys."]) ["Aber kein so großes Problem. Sie werden früh genug wissen, was Erschöpfung bedeutet. Sogar so genannte legendäre Krieger wie diese müssen eine Ausdauerbegrenzung haben."] (["Not that big of a problem though. They will know on what exhaustion is soon enough. Even so called legendary warriors like these has to have an stamina limit."])

"Oberleutnant! Das radar hat viele punkte innerhalb der explosionsrauchwolke entdeckt verschmelzung!" (First Lieutenant! The radar has detected a lot of dots within the explosion smoke cloud amalgamation!) "Was?!" ("What?!")

["Ach, komm schon! Mit allen umgehen?"] ["Ich dachte, wir hätten sie zwischen der Eisenwolf und der Deus Ex Machina aufgeteilt! Sie haben es geschafft, die Zahl der verdammten Zivilisten, die getötet wurden, zu minimieren!? Und haben sie es tatsächlich geschafft, einige der Kommandeure zu besiegen? Ich habe in den letzten 15 Minuten nichts von Rip oder Captain „Hund“ gehört. Oder von den beiden Piloten."] ["Verdamm!"] ["Jetzt müssen wir uns weitaus mehr mit Zahlen auseinandersetzen als mit diesen vor Erschöpfung umfallenden Mädchen! Und weg vom geplanten Konflikt des Majors im Deus Ex!"] (["Oh, come on! Dealing with all of them!?"]) (["I thought we got them split between the Eisenwolf and Deus Ex Machina! They managed to minimize the number of damned civilians that got snuffed!? And did they manage to actually defeat some of the commanders? I didn't hear anything from Rip or Captain 'Hund' for the past 15 minutes. Or the two pilots."]) (["Now we have to deal with numbers far more than these girls dropping from exhaustion! And away from the Major's planned conflict in the Deus Ex!"]) "Zielen Sie mit der 5. bis 8. Welle der V1 und V2 auf alle! Und schalten Sie ihre retrogradierte Wärmesuchfunktion ein! Ich gehe nach oben, um mich persönlich um diese Kinder zu kümmern, die sich als Helden ausgeben." "100 Waffen des Star Scythe-Trupps, ihr seid bei mir. Bringt außerdem bewegliche Artillerie und alles, was ihr tragen könnt, mit." ("Aim the 5th to 8th wave of the V1s and V2s at all of them! And turn on their retrograded heat seeking function! I am going up top to deal with these children posing as heroes personally.") ("100 Waffens of the Star Scythe squad, you are with me. Also, bring up movable artillery and whatever you can carry."] "Ja, Oberleutnant!"

Cure Grace: "Give it up! It is 50+ of us Pretty Cure against you!" "Nein." "Nicht nach fast 80 jahren, um ein Land niederzuschlagen, das schon nach dem Treffer einer einzigen ultra-power-bombe gekniffen hat." "Die pure Feigheit eurer Vorfahren!" "Und jetzt werde ich euch alle niederschlagen, die Schlingen unten bereit." "Selbst wenn ich dafür von eurer dummen Sonnenmagie getroffen werden muss!" "Ich, Oberleutnant Zorin Blitz von der Werwolftruppe von Millennium, dem letzten Bataillon Deutschlands!" "Und der Major WIRD seinen Krieg haben!"

-----

The Zorin Blitz & 50 Vampire Waffens VS The many Pretty Cures fight, on top of the Eisenwolf Zeppelin, consists of 4 'stages' with each an Pretty Cure team fighting Zorin mainly to wear her down before exhaustion gets them down first. While the other Pretty Cures take care of Millennium on the ground, trying to get the Zepplin. And Zorin being really aggressive, running the fades, even with getting a lot of hit. Like Recoome and Nappa. (Teams are based on the Pretty Cure All Stars F movie, but different; While being the main focus Pretty Cures of this whole situation.) 1) Team Butterfly (Who took care of the general fighting Millennium force): Cure Butterfly. Cure Earth. Cure Milky. Cure Macaron. Cure Yell. Cure Sunny. I [The zeppelin starts to take heavy damage] V 2) Team Miracle (Who took care of the heavy armored Millennium force): Cure Mint. Cure Majesty. Cure Ange. Cure Felice. Cure Flora. Cure Rosetta. Cure Miracle. Cure Magical. (Both in their Sapphire Style forms.) Cure Sunshine. Cure Moonlight. I [The zeppelin burns from within, with very high metal melting temperatures, plus the explosion damage, and falls to the ground] V 3) Team Prism (Who took care of the sub-naval Millennium force & the captured trains; Alongside the JSDF): Cure Prism. Cure Muse. Cure Finale. Cure La Mer. Cure Grace. Cure Aqua. Cure Sword. Cure Beauty. Cure March. Cure Selene. Cure Peace. Cure Sparkle. Cure Twinkle. Cure Flamingo. Cure Twinkle, in her Shooting Star dress & still has her Crystal Princess Rod. I [Abandoned block of buildings; Like the last fight of Spider-Man 2002] V & 4) Team Sky (Who took care of the aerial Millennium force): Cure Sky. Cure Wing. Cure Happy. Cure Precious. Cure Summer. Cure Black. Cure White. Cure Bloom. Cure Egret. Shiny Luminous. Cure Soliel.

At the aftermath of this shockingly long fight, this back and forth between the Pretty Cures and Zorin, this 6'7" brolic vampiress of illusions and running fades, she is ultimately vanquished by an Cure Soliel finisher, Virgo Soleil Shoot. But everyone who fought her are truly, and mostly, bruised all the way to week. With the confrontation with Ze Major in his Zeppelin being similar to Major's last scene in Hellsing and all that. Ending this crazy situation finally.

-------------

Seven rocking songs for the Pretty Cure VS Millennium situation, besides both the official Pretty Cure and Hellsing OSTs (Both 2001 anime and Ultimate OVA music): 1) Broken English (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtO__69R9J0). 2) Overkill (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRzuex6I6lI). 3) Magnolia (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-esfckE_sQ). 4) Feel It (https://soundcloud.com/roger-mendez-959831962/feel-it-yasushi-ishii). 5) The Winner (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IB8TFMAWhpY). 6) Scars (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRnpiT1fjOo). & 7) 'Bravin' Bad Brew' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3k_i7t2OCnQ)

+ Some guest music tracks from Yasuharu Takanashi, including this track from Fairy Tail, plus + 1 tone.

'Last Magic' (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sw_5WeryAQg)

-------------

An crazy situation with Pretty Cures that you can make an whole long but entertaining All Stars movie out of.

Something like Pretty Cure All Stars M(illennium).

Or Pretty Cure All Stars Gothic Night.

Running at an abnormal 2 hour, 48 minute runtime.

AND an actual PG-13 rated Pretty Cure thing. Not R Rated because you know, Toei, and all that. Even with the existence of Kamen Rider Amazons.

And not that much stock footage being used.

~The Bat~

[causenessus]

GOOD MORNING (im writing this at like 11:00 am so idk if this is considered morning)!! i hope you're having a good school dayyy! im gonna be in the same boat as u come wednesday 😞

long yap session incoming- i actually like using your inbox to talk bc it feels sm more fun 😋 like i love seeing u and your mango anon talk through your asks its super sweet to see it pop up on my feed n i always find myself giggling if i read through it SO IM COPYING THEM CAUSE THEYRE SUPER COOL‼️‼️‼️

YOU MENTIONED BEING GOOD AT WII GOLF AND I WAS LIKE "woah i haven't played on a wii since like 2017" its actually insane... i have sm memories of playing w my cousins on the wii BUT WE NEVER PLAYED THE SPORTS we were always playing likeee mariokart 8 and smash and we were so competitive... i distinctly remember my entire family collectively losing their minds when i had managed to beat my oldest cousin in smash one time IT WAS SO FUNNY PLS but like mentioning wii unlocked core memories omg

so like.. i had my first session of tryouts as of now and i think they went okay!! i fumbled a couple serves so idk im scared of the coaches they're a liiiiittle mean sometimes BUT BESIDES THAT I THINK ITS GOING WELL YAYAY

its super daunting knowing a bunch of the people there when you've literally just started playing cause it feels like they're like "ooo.. why would she only start playing now..?" but everyone who's trying out has been super nice so far :))

after we had first session i went w one of my friends to a ymca and we ended up messing up our knees from diving sm so i think we're cooked come next session HAHAHAH but honestly i think it's worth it because i had lots of fun doing that it may rival being in an actual game

ANYWAY I HOPE YOURE HAVING A GOOD DAY!! make sure u eat and drink water!! <3

GOOD MORNING ‼‼‼ (it's 3pm) BUT ANYWAY thank you!!! and aa good luck that's coming up soon </33 and that's okay LMAOO I LOVE THE LONG YAP SESSIONS EVERYTIME I OPEN MY INBOX AND SEE ONE FROM SOMEONE IT'S THE BEST THING EVER!!

and PLEASE wii sports was like a last minute thought i had right as i was answering that part of your ask last time and it brought back so many memories for me too!! most of the time i played tennis or like that sword fighting game and i would get SO amped up about it like some random npc named cream cheese would kill me and i'd be like throwing myself onto the bed (our wii was in the basement and it's also like our guest bedroom) and punch it and be like "YOU STUPID CREAM CHEESE FREAKING CREAM CHEESE I'M COMING FOR YOU CREAM CHEEESE" i have no idea why i was so aggressive 😭😭😭 but i remember that so vividly. i loved mario party!! and i had a giant just dance hyperfixation during quarantine like i worked all night once on that game just to get 5 stars on promiscuous LMAOO

AND I'M GLAD YOUR TRYOUTS WENT WELL!! and that everyone was super nice <3 coaches can't expect perfection from you!! and i remember at least at my high school they had like three or four teams so i feel like your chances should be great!! <3 i also wanted to start volleyball during i think 7th or 8th grade but then just never did 😭😭 like i bought knee pads to really seal myself in that i'd start it and then just completely fumbled but it's okay bc a lot of the volleyball girls at my old schools were MEAN one of my best friends used to play volleyball and she'd always tell me about how toxic it was and the coach was also someone's dad so that girl got on varsity or whatever and yeah...i think i'm good i would not survive that environment 😭

I HOPE YOU AND YOUR FRIEND HAD A GOOD TIME!! I'M GLAD IT WAS FUN <3 AND I HOPE YOUR KNEES ARE OKAY LMAOO THANK YOU SAV!! IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU AND HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY AS WELL DRINK LOTS OF WATER!! <3

[redactedwriting]

any dad!trick thoughts? (kids between him and reader not his real ones obv). i was hung up on activities he would do with them like princess tea party or tee-ball league but then i had a worse (/pos) thought … him singing to them as babies … dad handles bedtime because they don’t put up a fight when they hear his voice.

no matter what he loves being a dad and is so grateful that he is able to experience this with you

oh anon i think about this more than i’d like to admit

i think. dad handles bedtime because he lets them get their energy out before bed for five minutes and then he chases them into their room. i am seeing two kids around the same age too. aufhfhsk.

ever since the kids were babies, patrick did bedtime. he would bounce them and rock them and sing to them until they were asleep, and he’d get up at 2:27 exactly every morning when they’d cry for food or a diaper change.

and as they grew, the routine changed too! now they’re hyper little 6 year olds, maybe a girl and a boy, but they share a room for now. the girl has a big canopy princess bed and the boy has a race car bed. they’re side to side with a nightstand in the middle, like a hotel room.

they swap out every night who gets to choose the bedtime story. sometimes patrick is between the beds, sometimes the crowd on one bed, sometimes it’s on the playtime carpet in the corner of their room, with the gigantic doll house that has a hot wheels racetrack in the “yard”. the girl has a hello kitty car. she actually has a whole badass set and she races w the brother. btw.

but sometimes, one is asleep before the other, or one just can’t sleep. in that case, patrick carries them out into the living room and lets them fall asleep against him on the couch while he watches tv or makes music or something lowkey. they love doing it when he’s in album world, because he has all those cool sounds on his laptop, and he adds them to songs sometimes! one of the preferred sounds right now is of a duck quacking, and patrick swears he’ll put it in one of the new songs (he will, but its turned down so low you can’t really hear it unless you Know). and when they’re asleep against his side, he’ll carry them to bed and tuck them in, turn out the lights in the house and go to bed himself.

and for fun stuff. hes taking those kids EVERYWHERE (duh) but he’d love taking them to fall festivals at their schools, or talent shows, and he’d always encourage whatever they wanted to do at said talent show (if anything). he’d go to all the sports games, all the theater shows, anything and everything his kids were part of, he’d go to.

he’d also do princess tea parties <3 he’d love it, bc he loops you into it too, and you’re alllllways the one that the daughter is friends with. patrick is always either the server or the prince or sometimes the evil wizard who pretends to be nice but then reveals his true colors mwa ha ha ha

he’d play jedis with the son 🥺 FUCK having matching light sabers and having little battles and running around the yard pretending they’re in space running from aliens…..or playing pirates and the daughter wants to come in and be the coolest head pirate or a mermaid (whichever her mood decides) and you get to be the siren at the rocks that the kids have to save patrick from lovedrunkenly crashing the “boat” into so he can kiss you (sometimes they let him win, and he kisses you, and the kids “EWWWWWWWWWW” about it <3)

anon i have a billion thoughts. pls ask more (if u want) (and not just patrick! i’ve got it all)

[chelleztjs18]

Hello you lady robin hood lefty eyebag 🤣 if we're the duo, does that mean I'm little john righty eyebag???

Did you guys make the chocolate mousse or bought from the store? And that sandwich sounds amazing, bet it was delish. When you eat sandwiches, do you have chips with it too? Do you have certain chips you pair with certain sandwiches? Like when I have turkey bacon ranch club, I have it with sour cream n onions. Meatball subs, I gotta have it with bbq chips.

Yeah, work gets boring a lot of times when there are no customers. I mean I guess I can do laundry but that's it haha I was thinking of getting one of those stand up desk next year though, or a rolling one, so I can at least move around.

Speaking of your crush, you said she is in NC right? Was she near the place where they were having power outages? I guess some bad stuff happened around that area because of it.

Oh geez, you went dark with the whole kayak thing lol but I know what you mean. When I did it, I remember being scared because I was going too far from people...and I don't know how to swim, so I would've been SOL if I tipped over.😅

I've seen white water rafting and no no no. It looks scary especially with the big rocks. I actually went fishing when I was in Georgia during the summer. I enjoyed it, but I don't know the difference between the those.. my mom just gave me a stick with the string on it and then we were on the dock just chilling waiting for a bite.

I haven't tried axe throwing yet, it's on my list for next year though. And yes! I've heard of that break room thing. I think there is one here, but not sure. It looks fun, I want to try that too and just take a bat a break everything.

I haven't really thought about that. I know for sure I want the healthcare stuff more affordable.

Have you ever done something bad that nobody knows about?

-CuriousGeorge

lol, yes u r the little john righty eyebag. I really laugh out loud when i read the nicknames.

no, i bought it at the store and it actually pretty good. i didnt finish it because it's pretty rich, so I'm gonna keep it for tomorrow. :D

Thank you! yeah the sandwich is pretty good! I like it. do you like your bacon soft or crispy? no, i dont eat my sandwich with chips. i'm not really a big chip person. oh wow you really take the sandwich - chips pairing pretty serious. hahaaha. I eat my sandwich as it is :D

Do you like tuna sandwich? do you like egg salad sandwich and fried egg sandwich?

ouh thats good idea if u get the table.. I hope you do and maybe it will help :)

yes, she is in NC but I dont know where in NC she is. I don't know that there is an outage nor if it happens near where she is because to be honest, I havent talked to her since thanksgiving which is sad :( and what's worse is, today is her birthday too. I miss her and I miss talking with her but oh well.. I hope she has a good birthday day. :D

hahaha well what if it really happens and nobody there to help u? didnt mean to ruin ur moment with kayaking :D yeah plus i dont know how to swim in the deep water.

White water rafting is scary but at least if something bad happen, it will happen fast n not like you slowly dying if your kayak tip over. hahaha. just kidding. sometimes i have a dark sense of humor, pardon me. :P

ah okay, well, I looove fishing. I have tried fresh water fishing to catch some Bass fish. My favorite is deep sea fishing to catch different kinds of tuna or yellowtail or mahi mahi. I love the intense feelings when I was trying to reel the fish in but the fish fight. It's like a strategy game so ur line wont break. I think the biggest I've caught is mahi mahi fish / dorado. it's pretty fish, try google it :D. the one i caught was 15lb and 4 ft in size. it took 20 minutes for me to reel it in. The fish bit my bait n I was in the back part of the boat, n that fish move around so i have to follow it. By the time I caught it, I was already in the front part of the boat. lol.

Tuna is a different fighter. They tend to swim or dive down deeper super fast when they fight after bit the bait. So it's heavier to reel it in.

I have also tried fly fishing, it's a different way of fishing. n I caught different kind salmon. I went to Alaska to do it. It was fun, fly fishing is more calming and relaxing because you do it in the river and just keep casting the fake fly bait again n again until the fish bite it.

Rock bottom fishing is fun but kinda tricky, because u let your bait fall down so deep and u hv to keep the bait "moving or jumping a bit" by moving the pole up n down gently n when u catch it, it's heavy n take a longer time because of the weight u put on the bait n it was all the way down.

I really wanna try ice fishing and spare fishing. But i can never do spare fishing because i can't swim. lol.

Sorry, i know u didn't ask anything about fishing but I ramble about it. I didnt mean to be sound like a know-it-all. I just love fishing and I miss it. I havent go fishing for a while but i love talking about it :D even though i dont know much and just talk about it from what i hv experienced.

haha yeah i wanna try the break room too. i think there is one like an hour from me, but i have to do reservation too n i think u pay depends on the size of think that u wanna break. :D

I can't really recal something bad that i did n nobody knows about it. i will tell u if i can remember it. what about u?

next question?

CHeerio!

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (December 3/2020)

Today was pretty interesting - every member of both the Dream Team AND Sleepy Bois Inc. streamed today! Doesn’t happen often.

Everyone is preparing for the exile tomorrow. There's internal conflicts growing within the Dream SMP side and the familial division within the Sleepy Bois has only increased. 

---

 -  Tubbo, Ranboo and Fundy work on the hole in the ocean and that’s when the first rain happens.

- Wilbur and Tommy randomly join the VC and just say “Tubbo we’ve been thinking about you a lot” and then straight up leave

- Later, Tommy gets on in preparation for possible exile. He insists that he cares more for L’manburg than his discs, ultimately. Technoblade is online. He says he wants to move into New L’manburg out of sheer confidence that he won’t be exiled. Sapnap comes online as well and proceeds to bully Tommy with Techno. Punz arrives too.

- Sapnap suggests Tommy move into Mexican L’manburg.

- Tommy says he likes Ghostbur because he’s “like real Wilbur but less torturous”

- TECHNO STREAM POG. He wants to move his pets.

- Sapnap confronts Tommy and says that he was ordered to kill him since Tommy stepped outside of the walls.

- Punz raises the wall. Phil and Ranboo come online.

- Phil puts on armor in L’manburg and says he must go. He meets with Techno just outside the wall - it’s time for Phil to join forces with the pig.

- Techno kills Tommy. Mexico is declared Dream SMP canon.

- Wilbur comes online and starts talking to Sapnap. Tommy says that the best apology gift is DRUGSS. Ghostbur asks Tommy where Techno is and then leaves.

- Sapnap is in denial about Dream not caring about him. Tommy tells him bluntly, and Sapnap says that at least he has Tommy as a friend - a continuation of his character arc from the Final Pet War on the 15th.

- Ghostbur roasts Techno for not knowing how to make a fishing rod and tells Tommy and Techno that he’s in “the ravine.” They all meet up at the lake where Techno’s base was, putting the pets in boats.

- The Sleepy Bois have a family confrontation. Techno asks him if Tommy’s life has improved from the new government. Phil points out that Techno was very clear about his intentions the whole time. Ghostbur says he and Techno go way back. Tommy says he’s just there for Ghostbur.

- Tommy and Ghostbur split off and Tommy tells Ghostbur a story about “two guys,” with Tommy putting him and Wilbur as “these two good guys, but one of the good guys had turned into a bit of a bad guy,” and Techno as “a medium guy.” Ghostbur remembers more than Tommy realized.

- Tommy lies to Ghostbur and says that Techno made the crater.

- Connor drops by. Tommy says he wants to get the Camarvan back in drug-brewing business.

- Ghostbur and Sapnap continue speaking. Ghostbur remembers that Sapnap was on the other side and calls him a “traitor like Eret” for now being with Tommy.

- It rains again... 

In Tubbo’s words, “Jesus has OP”

- Tommy captures a pet bat. “It’s like a moth but bigger!”

- They drug the president

- Meanwhile, Phil and Techno are hanging out together in Techno’s ice village, now strong allies.

- Tubbo isn’t swayed by Tommy’s apology gift. Tommy speaks with Ghostbur on the Power Tower. Ghostbur says he’ll follow Tommy no matter what happens.

- Quackity and George build a new mushroom house right outside Tommy’s new L’manburg house to piss him off

- Sapnap joins the call and immediately tells George that Dream said he didn’t care about them, and that those in Mexican L’manburg have to band together since Dream no longer has care for anyone. George is shocked and literally spits out his water. 

- Sapnap leaves, Quackity starts reading How to Sex 2 and IT RAINS AGAIN. 

- Quackity starts acting strange and screeching but he calms down once George gets him inside the church. Quackity has a revelation that all the world is made of “1′s and 0′s,” and says that he can never leave the church without the peace leaving him. He says that he killed everyone important in his life except for George, that he has no one left. George seems to be confused at who is talking to him.

“I am alive, George.”

...

- Quackity returns to normal and starts talking about the house in front of Tommy’s again. He and George continue their hijinks. George gets scammed by Fundy, he and Quackity start messing around with item frames and maps. They need leather and ask Techno about his cow farm. Techno responds that the spirits of the cows call for revenge. They start running.

- George starts gathering wheat. This is his grave mistake. Techno, invisible but showing through armor, chases him down and almost kills him but spares him at half a heart. George and Techno chat for a bit after Techno leaves the area.

- Then Quackity streams the first part of their plan to prank the entire SMP with pictures. Just a funny stream! Funny pranks! Haha funnies! hahahahahahaha

- PSYCHE u rly thought huh?? u rly thought??

- Dream comes online and announces that George is being dethroned.  He claims that he’s doing this to protect George, since George has been getting attacked more and more lately. But later on he lets it slip that George was, in his eyes, a “bad king” and was getting too involved to stay neutral, especially when it came to Mexican L’manburg. He makes Eret the king again. Worth mentioning is the fact that Eret still plans to adopt Fundy, and Dream and Fundy are getting married tomorrow...

- Everyone escorts George down the Path, George’s head hung low. Sapnap is angry at Dream, Dream accuses Sapnap of driving them apart. Sapnap says that he’ll stand with George.

- Sapnap, George and Quackity all reconvene at Mexican L’manburg. They decide to fight for George’s crown back, and also speak with Badboyhalo about possibly combining forces with the Badlands to do so.

- Dream shoots Quackity and orders an attack on George. He messages Quackity to not even dare trying to take back power.

- Later, Dream rejoins VC and he and Quackity get into a moral debate about the ethics of hostile government takeovers, who’s at fault for the conflict on the server, and why Dream is doing all of this. Dream points out that the last willing giveaway of the discs was from Tommy to Dream for the birth of L’manburg, and that Tommy only has the discs now because he stole them. The rain falls again as they speak.

- Dream leaves. Mexican L’manburg is the only place left for George to fight for. Sapnap has turned against Dream. The Badlands are getting involved, and Quackity has to speak to Tubbo about all of this. 

- Meanwhile, Puffy is replacing Tommy’s stone bricks with polished granite.

- The funny haha’s return as everyone continues doing the SMP prank. Fun!

---

Upcoming Events:

- Karl will be touring Pokimane around the SMP next week!

- Tommy’s exile decision is tomorrow

- Fundy is getting married to Dream tomorrow

- IS THE ELYTRA CHALLENGE STILL HAPPENING I DON’T KNOW PLEASE JUST TELL US

[creonininkwell]

Creon what is the thing that the cupbros do that drives u NUTS (other than them fighting over nothin)

Hoo boy, where do I start?

WHERE 👏

DO👏

I 👏

START? 👏

Cuphead is plain reckless. Like stupidly reckless. I have to admire the guts on this kid thinking that nothing bad will happen. Sometimes I envy him for it. But it's worrisome how this habit will carry over in his adult years. He also gets swept in with the wrong crowd if it sounds like a fun time or something absolutely crazy. He's not a bad kid, but I worry he'll hurt people unintentionally with this sort of attitude.

As for Mugman, you'd think he'd be the one I worry less about. He's a smart kid. Good head on his shoulder...except when it comes to his brother. I thought he would be the one to talk Cuphead down if the situation got out of hand. And usually he does. But sometimes he ends up joining in on whatever scheme Cuphead is cooking. So I worry that Mugs is going to become a doormat. I DO NOT want him to become a doormat. I've been there before, it's not a life worth living when you let people step all over you.

But you know what the worst part is?

The worst part is when they're BOTH on sync with their goals and interests that they actively work together. I don't know how, but it seems like they both share a single brain cell when they're doing something especially stupid. Like the one time they stowed away on a boat club just for ice cream. Another time they bugged me constantly, unless I promised to teach them both how to target pressure points. I didn't give in, but boy that was unpleasant for all of us. I am NOT teaching them how to murder more efficiently. They don't need to know...hopefully

...

"sigh* they're not bad kids. And that's just it. They're KIDS. They haven't hit the 13 mark, so they're still kids to me. F*** I feel so old.

[worminstuff]

Win Win Situation

dream x reader (more fluff)

from this ask -

Hello! I'd like to request Dream fluff, where they play Minecraft Manhunt with Pandas, Muffin and Gogy. The reader's a secret weapon they hold against Dream (she waits for him in the Nether or the End; the decision is up to u), since they know he really likes her and it's mutual anyways. She's capable of killing Dream with hearts to spare and in last hopes of winning the hunt, he proposes a kiss (in MC, of course) for his life (which the reader grants him). Thx in advance! 💞😊-

i love this ask vvvv much and im gonna try my best to do it justice!

It had been quite a day of filming, this manhunt proving to be one for the books.  Dream had really been stubborn upon not dying, and sapnap, George, and bad were really trying their hardest. 

George was so close to getting a dream when he first crossed to the nether but it was futile as he had looted around a lot and got more armor then they even had time to find.

Dream was pretty sure he was set after proving himself with that battle against George, he had 9 blaze rods, ten pearls and a burning sensation in his stomach from the excitement of winning.

It had been quite a day of filming, this manhunt proving to be one for the books.  Dream had really been stubborn upon not dying, and sapnap, George, and bad were really trying their hardest. 

George was so close to getting a dream when he first crossed to the nether but it was futile as he had looted around a lot and got more armor then they even had time to find.

Dream was pretty sure he was set after proving himself with that battle against George, he had 9 blaze rods, ten pearls and a burning sensation in his stomach from the excitement of winning.

As he sat listening to the 3 weirdos giggling amongst themselves he thought about you, you would've been so proud of the way he's wiggled out of their grasps so many times from a boat chase where he managed to drown Sapnap by using a tnt to blow them up in a cave. A blush crossed his cheeks at the thought of you being excited with him. He couldn't wait to tell you about it later.

Lately you two had been talking awfully a lot and he was enjoying it a lot. You'd met through sapnap since you knew him for a long time. You often streamed with Wilbur or Tubbo too, Tubbo being another one of your favorite people.

Dream loves to watch the streams and videos you both make because you two are so entertaining. Dream thought you were absolutely adorable, especially when you and Tubbo are trying to figure out redstone for a new scheme or terrorizing Tommy for a bit. Most of all he loved your bed wars streams, he was always entranced at how amazing you were at pvp. He loved every bit of it.

He himself had a really hard time talking to you at first. In his defense, you were a pretty girl! Adorable, sweet, funny and kind and incredible at pvp. How was he supposed to approach you without freaking you out with his tiny little obsession.

The sound of an ender eye breaking snapped him out of his little day dream, realizing he was nearby the stronghold, he started his way down.

Unknowing to dream, the boys were just over a hill watching him just as he was digging down. Instead of following just yet sapnap sent a message on discord, to you.

panpas 

    he’ll be there in a second i think

y/n

    okey dokey!

There was nothing in the unspoken rules of manhunt that said nothing about a secret weapon. That's exactly what you were. Sapnap and George and bad all knew you were one of the few people that could easily beat dreams.

Dream knew it too, sometimes he liked to tell himself it was only because she got him flustered so easily, but deep down he knew you just played way too much Minecraft. 

You sat impatiently waiting for him to reach the end, impatiently sitting near a clump of endermen. You were nervous and excited at the same time, beating dreams was always fun. You'd always admired dreams and his presence on the internet but after meeting him, things changed a bit.

He seemed hesitant talking to you at first but lately he had been texting you every morning and night and even called you a few times! He gave you so many butterflies just at the thought of him.

Dream searched around the stronghold looking for the portal, as he was about to turn a corner sapnap spoke up, 

“Don't you guys think it's been a bit boring without..y/n” He smirked behind his computer screen as he could practically hear dreams heart rate go up just by that single sentence. He was correct with that bet.

“Duh! y/n would have had a dream dead like an hour ago '' George spoke with a knowing smirk.

“That's not true-” Dream tried to poke into the conversation when bad suddenly interrupted him.

“No you muffin, you know y/n would totally have beat your booty way back in the nether”

“Booty-” Dream was cut off once again by a fit of hyena laughter from his friends. 

As they giggled he finally found the portal and filled in the empty slots hopping in quickly. He was surprised he hadn't heard the boys say anything about it with the achievements popping up onto the screen. 

He was confused up until he spotted you, standing by one of the pillars.

“what?! how?! y/n? how did you- when- huh?” His flustered state was quickly made obvious by the way the boys could hear a smile even through his confusion.

You started sprinting towards him as the three boys dropped into the portal as well but not rushing over just yet, wanting to see this unfold first.

You let out a small giggle as you were gaining on him, he was running around still confused on how you were there.

“Come here Dreeeeam” You said maniacally trying to gain on him.

“Get away y/n! how are you even-”

He let out a yell as you got your first crit on him, your ax was clearly more op than his and he could tell by only one hit.

“How did you do that much damage! What are you even-”

After finally trying to fight her, he was at 3 hearts and he even had a shield. 

“Okay, okay, okay, y/n hold on for a second please” He backed up a bit facing her character as she lowered her weapon waiting on his next move.

“I have..a proposition” Dream let out a breath nervously, 

“What kind of proposition?” You smirked, ready to decimate him with only a few more hits.

“No! No propositions! y/n you have him just kill him so we win!'' Sapnap chimed in with George and badly agreed.

“No no guys, hold on, I wanna know what it is,” You said with a small airy laugh.

“If you don't kill me y/n, i'll give you something I think you'll like”

“Like enough not to win?”

“I hope so..” Dream started to regret this decision, he knew he liked you and he thought you liked him, but how could he be sure? He would bed George would call him stupid for thinking she wouldn't like him but he just wasn't sure.

“Tell me then, what is it?” You were getting a bit antsy, he was a wild card to you. You adored him so much but sometimes you just never knew what was going on in his brain.

“A kiss.” You definitely weren't expecting that. As Dream spoke the two words he'd been repeating in his head for minutes, you were silent, sitting in shock.

You were expecting one of the boys to call it bullshit and tell you to just murder him on the spot, but they were silent.

“A..kiss?” You weren't sure you heard him right, because you couldn't believe it! A kiss? From Dream? You'd faint!

“Yeah. A kiss. And you let me kill the dragon.” He was gaining a bit more confidence after he realized he made you nervous.

“What?! No! No kissing! Murdering y/n! Murdering!” George wasn't surprised you were considering it because he knew how much you both like each other but he really doesn't want to lose like this.

“In- in game or?” you were sure he meant in game, but you were curious.

“Well.. it'll do until we meet in person. But I'll still owe you a real one after you let me win.” He smiled widely just thinking about getting to kiss you, or even be near you in real life! he could burst just at the thought.

While he was daydreaming, you were conflicted. The butterflies that were creating a sick feeling in your stomach at the thought of kissing him were overtaking the thought of wanting to beat him. You had already decided but you knew the boys would be so angry their secret weapon had failed them.

“How about. I take both kisses.. and then you have to beat me to the dragon. I won't fight you, you just have to beat the dragon before I can” Your plan seemed full proof. Seemed like a win win situation, or so you thought.

“Sounds perfect to me, y/n” He was grinning so madly, Your character got close to his, just a block or so in front of him.

“This won't be nearly as good as it could be but, MWAH '' Dream made an exaggerated kissing noise as he jumped towards your character hitting into it, then turning and booking it towards the dragon as it was starting to perch.

The boys were cheering and yelling as you sat in shock, not at the fact that his character kissed yours but because of what he said before. 

Was he really going to kiss you in real life? Your mind was absolutely swimming with thoughts when you suddenly checked back in at the sound of three boys yelling your name and the sound of the dragon dying.

“You just stood there y/n! why would you just stand there?!” George tries to sound mad but he really couldn't be. He was sure dream was on cloud 9 at that moment.

Dream was out of his chair, yelling with excitement as the boys were angrily shouting about their loss while you were still silent. Your silence was taken by a laugh, your own laugh,

“Hey y/n, can I call you in a little while?” He asked

“Yeah, please.” You said shakily as you left the discord call.

You leaned back in your chair, shaking your head with a small smile. He was going to be the death of you.

[myonepiece]

Hello love! This is my first ask hehe. Can I please request some Shanks, Ace, and Benn headcanons (or scenerio, whichever u are more comfortable with!) of their fem!S/O dying on the battlefield? Love your works btw💕💕! Thanks in advance!! :)

yes 😩 death angst 😩

I will put this here... it’s Shanks, Ace, and Kid dying on the battle field and their last thoughts of s/o :3 just if you feel like crying more

I cried like 6 times writing these

TW- death, angst

Shanks, Ace, Benn seeing their fem!s/o die on the battlefield 

told in character’s point of view

-through the groups of pirates fighting, through all of the blood, through all of the smoke and sword clashes, how did I manage to see the exact moment a gun was held to your head and the trigger was pulled

-a spout of dark liquid came from your head that felt like it drowned even from so far away and so little in content

-you fell back onto the ground and the crew members that had seen the event looked to me, but I only turned away 

-when the fight was over I went back towards the boat I was grinning, because I wasn’t mad you had died

-some of the crew members however began to tear up, it was nice to see they cared so much about you as well

-Yasopp ran to me and grabbed my collar, I told him to let go, he didn’t seem to have the same outlook on your death

-if there’s one thing that was bothering me, it was the question of why I had to see your demise

-why... why had I been able to see that moment. I wish I hadn’t, I think I would have much rather lived in a blissful denial telling myself you were off on your own journey and you would return soon

-maybe I would’ve been better off telling myself you are somewhere in the world and I just have to find you

-I guess you are on your own voyage somewhere, maybe with another crew, maybe with another captain

-is it fun?

-you wanna know why I’m not crying, why I’m not breaking down like I always had thought I would?

-it’s because in the moment when I almost ran to you, when I. almost gave in and crashed to the floor, it was like I had heard an angel whisper to me- she said she’d keep you safe

-that you’ll be okay

-she said your time with me is over

-and I didn’t want to ruin your departure with my own selfishness

-I hope you’ve had a good time with me _____, I hope you’re as free as you were here

-Thatch brought me over to the crew after the battle, everyone is grouped in a circle, it’s almost like someone die- oh

-Marco was kneeling beside you with his hands on fire, but his powers didn’t seem to be working because you still weren’t moving

-you were already dead when I got there.. I couldn’t even say goodbye

-I scoffed in disbelief, anger, sadness-I don’t fucking know. Marco looked up at me with slightly teary eyes and he shook his head

-I choked out a sob and ran towards you, could you hear me? I took you in my arms and shook you because usually that works but you didn’t do anything. you felt so cold I tried to warm you up but maybe my emotions were too crazy because the flames burned you... could you feel that too?

-no one told me who killed you even when I pounced on Marco and threatened him, I swear I would’ve made him pay 

-Whitebeard pushed me away

-it’s fucked up world where the innocent ones like you are the ones to die first, when their are so many horrible people out there, maybe it was that you were too innocent, maybe you had to leave before that innocence was corrupted

-if that’s the case then I guess I should be thankful, but I can’t be

-I’m sorry I’m not all, “oh _____ is in a better place now” but you’re not in a better place!

-a better place would be with me! or maybe a better place would be with you. a better place is just wherever you and I are together, so where am I supposed to go when that place doesn’t even exist 

-y’know I always wanted you to die first so you wouldn’t have to go through the pain of my death, I just might have underestimated how painful this would be

-I’m not saying I would rather I die before you because I love you too much to put you through this.. or loved you? is that what I’m supposed to say now? why didn’t you just stick around long enough to tell me what to do?

-you never said “I’m leaving” and you never said “goodbye”, you left before I had the chance to tell you how much I love you and how much you’ve helped me

-but without you here it’s like none of that matters, like you gave up on me

-and for that, I hate you 

-usually when Shanks calls me over it’s not a very serious matter, and it’s usually not after a battle because he can his own

-but he called me over once the smoke was beginning to clear and something about the way he said my name made me unnerved

-you’re never ready to see someone you love dead, even when I’ve been a pirate for years it was... scary. maybe the fact that you were still breathing is what made it even scarier

-I didn’t want to tell you it would be okay, I’ve never liked lying to you. and you seemed to know it wasn’t okay. maybe it was the tears brimming in my eyes that told you the truth, maybe it was my shaking hold when I took you from Shanks’ arms and cradled you against my chest

-it all felt so slow, watching the crew walk away with their heads hanging low, the feeling of your hand grabbing mine

-I’ve always been... okay with words of love, but now I love you seems futile. I still said it though, I wonder if you heard it

-your eyes were wandering everywhere I wasn’t sure if you could comprehend. anything

-when your hand fell from my cheek I kissed your forehead one last time and layed down on the ground, I put my cape over you just in case it got cold, you always loved huddling in my cape 

-I think the hardest part of ‘moving on’ will be trying to recover the part of me you took

-it was like you added a second heart that only beat for you, but it’s not slowing  down, because I sure as hell still love you

-it’s just.. going to be a little while before we see each other again

-I know that there is nothing that could be done to save you, but I still have to wish you could have stayed

-I think the hardest part of this is that I know our story wasn’t finished 

[rpmemestorehouse]

2010′s Internet Memes Starters

Change wording as needed

“Are you frustrated?”

“What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I-”

“Let me tell you why that’s bullshit.”

“Oh stop it, you.”

“Aww yiss.”

“France is bacon.”

“That’s cute.”

“Lie down. Try not to cry. Cry a lot.”

“Has science gone too far?”

“...said no-one ever.”

“We need to go deeper.”

“Do you think this is a motherfucking game?”

“NOPE.”

“Oh baby, a triple!”

“Brushie brushie brushie~”

“Spooky scary skeletons!”

“FUCK YEA.”

“You could stop at five or six stores, or, just ONE.”

“You hear about video games?”

“Release the kraken!”

“Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?”

“ ‘It will be FUN’, they said!”

“You’ve been GNOMED!”

“Deal with it.”

“And not a single fuck was given that day.”

“It’s a double rainbow!”

“The rent is too damn high!”

“You jelly?”

“Challenge accepted.”

“Come at me bro!”

“Pootis!”

“Whatcha thinkin’ ‘bout?”

“Are you a wizard?”

“Bitch please!”

“I know that feel bro.”

“Shut up and take my money!”

“I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”

“NO.”

“I hope you step on a LEGO.”

“That really rustled my jimmies.”

“And then a skeleton popped out!”

“I’ve seen some shit.”

“gEnIuS!”

“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.”

“This isn’t even my final form!”

“You had one job.”

“Kill me.”

“Majestic as FUCK.”

“Excuse me sir, do you have a moment to talk about [insert]?”

“I swear on me mum...”

“You have no power here!”

“REKT!”

“What a time to be alive.”

“If I pull that off, will you die?”

“It will be extremely painful...for you.”

“FUCK THIS GAY EARTH!”

“Hide the pain Harold.”

“Local man ruins everything.”

“Mom, get the camera!”

“I cri evrytiem.”

“The struggle is real.”

“I am the one who knocks!”

“Perfection.”

“This is the darkest timeline.”

“I’m about to end this man’s whole career.”

“I regret nothing!!!”

“I lied.”

“I’ve seen enough [insert] to know where THIS is going.”

“Oh god why-”

“Everyday I’m shufflin’-”

“You wot mate?”

“Everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked...”

“Man door hand hook car door-”

“Palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, vomit on my sweater already, Mom's spaghetti-”

“Oppa Gangnam style!”

“When [place] is ashes, you have my permission to die.”

“I only cried for 20 minutes.”

“Pepperidge Farm remembers.”

“Go home, [Name], you’re drunk.”

“Fuck me, right?”

“I should buy a boat.”

“2deep4you”

“Apply cold water to that burn.”

“420 blaze it!”

“That’s a nice new [insert]. It would be a shame if something happened to it...”

“I too, like to live dangerously.”

“You know nothing, [Name].”

“I’m getting too old for this shit.”

“Does this look like the face of mercy?”

“It was me, [OWN NAME]!”

“Stop trying to make [insert] happen! It’s not going to happen!”

“You merely adopted the darkness.”

“See? Nobody cares.”

“I will find you, and I will kill you.”

“I understood that reference!”

“Listen here, you little shit-”

“It’s an older meme, sir, but it checks out.”

“Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuoli.”

“How do you do, fellow kids?”

“Ow, the edge!”

“*teleports behind you* Nothing personal, kid.”

“Pee is stored in the balls.”

“We have food at home.”

“You must be new here.”

“Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.”

“ERMAHGERD BERKS-”

“That’s the evilest thing I can imagine!”

“Dammit Moon Moon!”

“When u mom com home and make hte spagheti-“

“When will you learn? When will you learn?! THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!”

“helo would u like some of this hot choclety milk?”

“Be strong, [Name]. Be strong for Mother.”

“Ayy LMAO.”

“Surprise, bitch. I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me.”

“Shrek is love, Shrek is life.”

“Heard you were talking shit!”

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.”

“Look at me. I’m the captain now.”

“This could be us, but you playing.”

“They played us like a damn fiddle!”

“I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now.”

“I’m in me mum’s car, broom broom!”

“Hand me the aux cord.”

“Press F to pay respects.”

“Trust nobody, not even yourself.”

“Anime was a mistake.”

“It’s just a prank, bro!”

“Don’t talk to me or my son ever again.”

“Are ya winning, son?”

“Had it not been for the laws of this land, I would have slaughtered you.”

“I lived bitch!”

“You just have to say that you're fine, when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would never understand.”

“*chuckles* I’m in danger.”

“That wasn’t very cash money of you.”

“They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.”

“DEEZ NUTS-”

“Alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic.”

“Why the fuck you lyin’? Why you always lyin’? Mmmm oh my GOD, stop fuckin’ lyin’~”

“You’re gonna have a bad time.”

“I’m at soup!”

“IT’S TIME TO STOP!”

“Congratulations, you played yourself.”

“I’m you, but stronger.”

“This is fine.”

“Hello darkness my old friend~”

“Sosig.”

“Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne!”

“I have crippling depression!”

“WE ARE NUMBER ONE!”

“That’s where you’re wrong, kiddo.”

“Take a fucking sip, babes.”

“Brother, may I have some oats?”

“God I wish that were me.”

“Ah, I see you’re a man of culture as well.”

“Oh, worm?”

“Hewwo!”

“Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?”

“Am I a joke to you?”

“Let me in. LET ME IIIIIINNNNN!!!!!”

“You know I had to do it to ‘em.”

“Why is the FBI here?”

“Oh no baby what is you doin’???”

“Hey man, you see that guy over there?”

“Buenos días, [Name]!”

“Hey there demons, it’s me, ya boy.”

“Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.”

“Then perish.”

“Somebody toucha my spaghet!”

“My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined.”

“Weird flex, but okay.”

“I’m baby.”

“STONKS!”

“OK, boomer.”

“Yep, this one’s going in my cringe compilation.”

“This is so sad. Alexa, play Despacito.”

“Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.”

“All right then, keep your secrets.”

“They did surgery on a grape.”

“It ain’t much, but it’s honest work.”

“Look how they massacred my boy!”

“Bro! You just posted cringe! You are going to lose subscriber.”

“Wait, that’s illegal.”

“Bro, I’m straight-up not having a good time.”

“Gonna cry? Gonna piss your pants maybe?”

“I’m gonna do what’s called a pro gamer move.”

“Say sike right now.”