Tumgik
#do we understand why i am Emotions
songofwizardry · 1 year
Text
making myself have Emotions by listening to Marbles again. what a fucking song
11 notes · View notes
moldy-flowers · 6 days
Text
The interesting experience of being pro Sasuke, anti konoha, pro tobirama, anti Naruto ending, pro Sasusaku, anti Itachi, pro Sakura, anti SasuNaru, pro Tobirama×Izuna, anti Madara, pro karin, anti Orochimaru, pro Uchiha and anti Hashirama. And also as much as I hate the guy danzo was kind of hot when he was younger...
#I FEEL ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO SAY THAT I COMPLETELY RESPECT SNS TO THE ULTIMATE DEGREE AND I AGREE WITH THEIR SHIPPERS ON MOST THINGS#BUT THE SHIP STILL KINDA PISSES ME OFF IDK WHY IM SORRY IT JUST RUBS ME THE WRONG WAY I HAVE TRIED TO LOVE IT I REALLY HAVE BUT I CANT#AND MADARA HAD SOME GOOD POINTS BUT I THINK ITS SHITTY THAT HE ABANDONED HIS CLAN AND THEN PLOTTED THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD#ALSO ITACHI HAD LIKE OTHER OPTIONS!???? WHY THE FUCK DID HE TORTURE SASUKE TWICE LIKE 😭😭😭#WHAT WAS THE POINT MY G WHY ARE YOU TORTURING HIM I THINK THE MENTAL IMAGE OF THEM DYING WAS ENOUGH DIDNT NEED TO GIVE HIM 500000 EXAMPLES#WE AS A SOCIETY DO NOT TALK ENOUGH ABOUT THE FACT THAT WHEN MADARA ASKED HASHIRAMA TO EITHER KHS OR KILL TOBIRAMA#TOBIRAMA GENUINELY THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT THAT HASHIRAMA WOULD GO AFTER HIS THROAT FOR LIKE- THIS GUY WHO HE USED TO THROW STONES WITH!???#ITS SO DIFFICULT TO FIND PEOPLE WHO UNDERSTAND SASUKES TRAUMA AND WHO LIKES SASUSAKU 😭😭#COS LIKE ILL 100% ADMIT THAT THE RELATIONSHIP WAS WRITTEN SHITILY AND SUCKED AND DESPITE THE FACT THAT THEYRE SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE BROTHERS#SNS HAS BETTER WRITING THAN SSK OR NRHN SOMEHOW???? ITS WRITTEN SO WELL PEOPLE GENUINELY BELIEVE THE ORIGINAL PLOT HAD SNS PLANNED#BUT ALSO SAKURA IS SO SILLY AND STRONG AND DID ANY OF YOU READ SASUKE RETSUDEN “Trapped by a body he knew perfectly”#OKAY SASUKE YOURE ON A MISSION??? CALM THE FUCK DOWN 😭😭#NO AND IN LIKE SSK FICS SASUKE IS SOME BAD BOY WHO JUST SMIRKS AND IS EMOTIONLESS AND SAKURA IS SOOOOO EMOTIONAL FUCK OFF YOU TWATS!!!!#SASUKE IS THE KITTEN!! SAKURA SO OBVIOUSLY RADIATES DADDY ENERGY YALL ARE FUCKING INSANE!!!#WHY DO WE GET KITTEN SASUKE IN EVERY OTHER SHIP BUT THE FUCKING CANON ONE!! AT MY FUCKING!!!! LIMIT!!!#FIND SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS THE COMPLEXITYS OF SASUKES CHARACTER AND UNDERSTANDS WHAT TRAUMA DOES TO A PERSON YET DOESNT HATE SSK CHALLENG#Uh oh I went a bit mad there hahaha#I REGRET NOTHING SASUKE DID NOTHING WRONG SAKURA IS GIRL BOSS AND THE NARUTO WORLD IS EITHER UNEXPLAINABLY VIOLENT OR FAR TOO FORGIVING#naruto#naruto shippuden#itachi uchiha#pro sasuke#haruno sakura#Pro Sakura#Sasuke Uchiha#sasuke did nothing wrong#It looks awkward to just go from all those long tags to the iddy bitty ones#Moldy-flowers#Kitten and daddy? Tf am i on about I've been watching too much game grumps shi 😭😭
16 notes · View notes
eldritchqueerture · 8 months
Text
replaying bg3 and,,.... i am not immune to the emperor
14 notes · View notes
cookinguptales · 6 months
Note
Thank you so much for the tarot reading you did for me a little while back 💜 i'm sorry it's taken me so long to say that! i do rather think you have prophetic gifts, by the way- it was spookily accurate and helped me a lot 🔮
No problem! I'm glad it was helpful to you!
I do tend to get at least one message like this every time I do a tarot night for my followers, and like... you are totally entitled to that belief! What do I know about psychic phenomena and prophecy anyway? lmao. Maybe I am psychic.
But personally, I believe that tarot has a high likelihood of speaking to us no matter what, if just because the archetypal nature of the cards means that they're dealing with problems that we all struggle with. We all have self-doubt, we all have complicated relationships with money, we all crave love of some kind. We all have trauma in our past and we all want to believe that this time, things could be okay.
One of the reasons I like tarot cards is because they are inanimate objects that we imbue with meaning. They were just playing cards, y'know? We're the ones that gave them power over us, and we did that by filling them with our own stories. We placed a mirror in those cards, and while mirrors can be used for scrying, they can also just be used to take a good hard look at ourselves.
If I say "oh, you've had money troubles in the past," who doesn't that apply to? Maybe I'm thinking about me, when we were homeless for a while when I was a kid. Maybe someone else is thinking about the money they lost to gambling last week. Maybe someone else, someone wildly wealthy, is thinking about a stock market crash that brought their five mansions down to two. Maybe a final person has just never had quite enough to make ends meet. God knows that describes a lot of people.
I like tarot because we can all look at the same spread and see something different. I see a story to tell to the best of my ability, and that's how I do readings. But for the people getting those readings, they're often looking into little mirrors and seeing how they reflect their own personal experiences.
Because, you know, we all see different things in the same mirror! That's how tarot works, I think. Maybe some people are a little better at reading things in that mirror and interpreting what they see there, but we all see something new and different and deeply, deeply personal when we look at those cards.
Love that for us.
#that's what I eventually ended up studying in college btw#the way people construct personalized belief systems and vernacular religion#I got into religious studies to make sense of the world after I got out of an abusive religious background#and people always ask me what religion I am now#and I always say... y'know... I don't know what I believe#I don't know if magic exists or ESP or the supernatural or any number of deities#I don't know if I fully believe anything anymore#but I do believe in the power of stories#how we tell them and why we tell them and the parts of us that we mix into them to bolster their power#stories can ease a broken heart or they can be used to launch a war#they can create a belief system or tear one apart#we tell stories to make meaning out of the senselessness around us but we use them to CREATE meaning too#and sometimes the meaning that we create can last for centuries#they can make a little pack of playing cards into something that I was forbidden to touch when I was a child#that I was too scared to even be in the room with until I was in college#and the stories I tell myself instead can reframe those cards as something lovely I can collect#that help me make sense of the world in all kinds of ways#by helping me understand the emotions at the root of our experiences#and the stories we tell to give voice to them#and make them material; a thing we can finally touch#idk I'm rambling a bit but! those are my thoughts on the matter!!#replies#tarot#tarot shenanigans
11 notes · View notes
no by all means keep judging cartoon villains solely by if they get redeemed in the end. i know some of us like to talk about other stuff like characterization or entertainment value or nuance as something that makes a good villain. but i think the only thing that actually matters is if the villain ends up on good terms with the protagonist at the end. all the Good TM cartoons with Good TM creators make the villains die a Horrible Death for being Abusers or whatever. and all the Bad TM cartoons with Bad TM creators Forgive Fascists by not making them get publicly executed by the 14 year old protagonist in front of the 8 year old target demographic.
i mean im so glad that more cartoons nowadays are subverting the psyop to support fascists that a few queer artists and queer shows definitely invented in 2017. there are so many popular cartoons doing that. it's almost like there are more properties killing their villains now and in the past than there ever were of properties that didn't do this. and it's almost like whether the villain gets redeemed at the end is more about the context of the story and its themes leading up to a narratively sound decision.
but you know. a few queer shows made by trans ppl were popular and they didn't kill their fascists and even had the gall to make them nuanced while also looking into the harm they did. guess it's trendy to forgive your abusers now because like two cartoons said so. out of like 40 other similarly high profile works that just straight up hit their villains with a bus or smth. by all means. keep heaping praise onto that one show about how they "let their villain just be evil" instead of talking about anything more interesting. that's so subversive, everyone's doing it!
#shut up pandora#check off my 'monthly rant about the treatment of the creators of steven universe and she ra'#this is because of the 'praise' ive been seeing for belos btw#yes i love his panache i love how much he fucks up everything and i love how hes beyond redemption#thats not because he was Born Evil and has always Been Evil???#ppl who show baby belos going out of his way to make calebs life a living hell and evelyn Rescuing this poor blond boy from his Evil Brothe#i am sending so many bad vibes at you rn#he isnt a good villain bc dana terrace decided to be 'subversive' by not redeeming belos#JUST being subversive while writing the story doesnt mean you make a good story being subversive =/= being good#hes a good villain because while his decisions are dogshit we can understand why he made them on an emotional level#and since gravity falls seems to be the golden standard for modern cartoons i guess#bill cipher also isnt a good villain bc hes evil and they killed him#bill is a good villain bc hes entertaining in the threat he poses#what makes a character a good villain is about stuff they do while theyre being a villain#dont just sum it up with 'duhhh they killed them at the end so its good' thats entirely dependent on the story!#anyway this is specifically about modern western cartoon fandoms#if youre telling me to watch shows that arent modern western cartoons or like. read a book then know that i do that already#this stuff isnt as big of a discourse topic in those circles but im talking about this specific circle rn
28 notes · View notes
thebigqueer · 18 days
Text
i saw her friend today and in a way i think it really ehlped cuz she was the one who was being so kind and like 'how are you doing i know this must be hard but i still want to be friends' and it really touched me cuz iw as stressed cuz i was paranoid they were talking shit about me or smth. she also told me she was also shocked when she found out that she broke up w me so i guess it feels good knowing im not the only person kept in the dark i guess but its like if its something she couldnt even tell her friends about then what made her do it. cuz when i asekd her friend 'did she ever seem concnerd about the relationship or anything' her friend was like 'no.... not.... not really?' which idk if i fully believe but i dont think she was totally lying cuz she did seem to at least consider it. so if she wawsnt lying then i still dont understand what compelled her to dump me
#and i mean this is a friend shes CLOSE with. like super close with#and yeah there is the possibility shes lying just to keep her privacy which i understand but still like the fact even she was shocked when#she found out she dumped me ?? like that has to mean something#however when i asked 'how is she doing' her friend was like 'shes alright' and idk why but that kinda hurt#and idk if she was just saying it cuz maybe she thought it would make me feel better or if she didnt want to give too many details#or if she really truly was doing 'all right' but like what the fuck do you mean shes doing alright#like am i seriously sobbing on 1am walks around campus because i miss her and shes just doing alright????#like what the fuck#i really hope its mor ethan that because thats actually goign to break me#hres teh thing though like i dont doubt that she felt some sort of emotion cuz she was crying when we broke up and our entire relationship#she was so genuine about all of it but its also that annoying part of me thats like did she ever care#because how was she the one to tell me she wanted a relatoinship with me and how was she the one to tell me 'i love you first'#only to dump me not even 5 months later??? i just dont fucking understand any of it#im so fuckign confused about it all#all i can even hope for is that somehow she realizes she messed up and comes back to me and ill take her back immediately man#but she dosnt seem the kind to do that#i just wish i understood why she didnt want to give us even a CHANCE to fix whatever issues she thought we were havign#CUZ SHE NEVER EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ANY ISSUES!!!! SO I DONT UNDERSTAND#LIKE SHE BROKE UP W ME OUT OF THE BLUE!!!! NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ANYONE???#unless her friend is lying when i asked about whether she seemed concerned#but still
2 notes · View notes
lunarharp · 2 years
Photo
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
various witch stuff of the day or whatever the heck
#witch hat tag#orufrey#uhh yeah just getting some stuff out of the way haha i like the first one tho. i drew something that scares me#iguin must have been involved in qifrey's thing somehow. The Lidless eye..the sight of the world..i mean i think [redacted]#and he'll be [redacted] and [redacted] will be forced to... [redacted]???!?!!?#I want to keep my theories to myself.......or do i. not being a fandom person (other than dropping my art and leaving) means i just..#combust inside by myself with ideas and FEARS FOR THAT MAN.....CAN SOMEONE HELP HIM IM SO WORRIED IM SO...#CAN YOU LET SOMEONE HELP YOU#apparently tetia's expression in the last one is hard to understand =.= she's emotional bc she cant believe they remembered#the twin hat idea. and that she's so happy. i was thinking about how she was probably qif's first pupil so there must have been a time#where it was just her qif and oru... i DO think she is hinted strongly to be trans but even if not her mystery background is probably so sad#why would qifrey even become a teacher? his goal was the brimhats. but he keeps being distracted by kids with problem pasts so#he must have only been drawn to help tetia out of a deep sympathy. it seems at that point he and oru had drifted apart#did oru decide to be his watchful eye hearing about that or did qifrey ask him? he thought that qif had given up on brimhat stuff so..#*mumble mumble* lately i also keep remembering oru saying something UNREAL in kitchen like 'we're finally living under the same roof' ????#you can't just say that. what on earth. i..... whatever. i haven't even processed like 20% of my potential emotions about them#i feel so weirdly emotional today. i stopped thinking about witch hat for zuka even tho im SO hyperfixated it is genuinely PAINFUL to stop#i stopped just long enough to watch gatsby raku.... my haachan#i'm so grateful right now that i dont have any big issues in my life rn so i can get worried about manga men and sad about actors retiring#today at least i am extremely grateful. living and being alive is so so so so weird. i hope we all make it
74 notes · View notes
blitz0hno · 4 months
Text
I don't want to get off my phone I don't want to stay on my phone I don't want to pump gas I don't want to do deliveries I don't want to get ready for bed I don't want to write anything of substance I don't want to create I don't want to not create I don't want to be here I don't want to go anywhere I don't want to move I don't want to stay still my brain and body seem to simply want to sit here and Yearn
6 notes · View notes
amarimeta · 1 year
Text
are there any show only watchers of wheel of time who genuinely feel like they have a good understanding of whats going on.
8 notes · View notes
paperlovesadness · 1 year
Text
Someone really needs to tell me why I feel like crying everytime this verse comes up.
"Singsong 'Round the Money Tree" This stunning documentary that no one else unfortunately saw Such beautiful photography, it's worth it for the opening scene I've been driving 'round, listening to the score Or maybe, I just imagined it all I've played to quiet rooms like this before Bear with me, man, I lost my train of thought
I mean. I've got my theories. But am I the only one? How unhinged is this? This definitely wasn't supposed to evoke these specific emotions in me.
11 notes · View notes
ruby-red-inky-blue · 2 years
Text
Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries really did a pretty spectacular job with their German characters - the conflict, while centred around a world war and everything, is tragic and nuanced and neither side is demonised! And the actress playing elderly Mrs. Vogt is doing a really solid accent, not at all over the top for once! And her son’s German is a valiant attempt, but miles away from a native speaker’s - and the show adresses that! He’s second-generation and “was always worse [at German] than [his] brother”! And the language is included as something not only worth learning, but in the context of poetry - love poetry at that! And Rilke! And *that* Rilke! Death on the Vine has my whole heart just for that.
But they also fall into that exact same trap that almost every anglo production falls into with German characters - the names are??? way too Scandinavian??? Like the father’s name is Michael, which is excellent! That is super common... but his wife pronounces it [ˈmîːkaɛl], “Mee-ka-ale”, which, no. No. That’s just... Swedish. Look, I get it, “ch” is hard for English speakers, but then just call him “Thomas” or “Johann” - they’re just as common, and have neither the difficult “ch” sound nor an “r” (which is usually a dead giveaway, I can count the native English speakers I know who can approximate a German “r”-sound on one hand). You can get away with “Oskar” and “Ida” just fine, they’re common enough - but also suspiciously common in Scandinavia. And then there’s “Erik”. I’d be perfectly willing to be generous and say his parents just anglicised the German variant “Erich” (which, again, would probably be a monster to pronounce for an Australian actor, even though the name would be *just* the ticket popularity-wise). They appear to have anglicised their last name from “Vogt” to “Voigt” (the mother introduces herself as “Ida Vogt”, even though she seems to be *listed* as “Ida Voigt”? Rather confusing). But then his name would be spelled “Eric”, right?
It’s not as egregious as “Dark” and “1899″ - I spent the first ep of Dark convinced the show was set in Sweden or Norway because the names were so off - but it just. It *bothers* me. (Largely because I instinctly always think that the popularity of Scandinavian names in Germany was a leftover Nazi thing - even though turns out that’s just one of those weird misconceptions that a lot of people have. There is apparently quite clear evidence that it’s not true.) But also in this case because it’s geographically off - these Nordic names are very common in *northern* Germany, but the Vogt family is from the Rhineland, which is emphatically not considered northern. It’s not impossible! But not the obvious choice nonetheless, and this keeps happening! It’s so unimaginative, we have so many stupid names to choose from! I get that “Heinrich” and “Friedrich” are dicey if you don’t have a native speaker on your hands, but... With a British accent, “Horst” seems quite doable, and it sounds kinda funny - at least a good bit more foreign than Eric. Same goes for “Dieter”, “Bernhard”, “Walther”, “Udo”, “Hermann”, “Josef”, all old-timey and strong 20th century vibes, and very common. (And honestly, just go with “Peter”, “Arnold” or “Martin”, they’re pronounced slightly differently than the English variant but you’d have absolutely no trouble teaching them to an actor.) Plus, Nathan Page did quite a beautiful job with Rilke’s first name, so for second generation, “Rainer” could be a contender! (And speaking of Rilke, if you want a northern German name so badly, go with “Malte” just once! Change it up!)
Ida doesn’t nearly grate as much - old-timey female names in German are often hard to pronounce (”Hildegard”, “Annegret”, “Margarete” etc. have the bingo of the ‘r’ sound and the consonant clusters, “Ulrike”, “Irene” etc. have that really conspicuous “r” in the middle as well, and I feel like even easier names like “Louise” can be deceptively difficult to get right). But in the first half of the 20th century, you can get away *brilliantly* with short forms! “Anni”, “Emmi”, “Leni”, “Lene”, “Lotte”, “Hilde” - feels very lived-in, and simple enough to pronounce!
tldr; I love Death on the Vine but for the love of god stop naming every German character Erik.
15 notes · View notes
bunnihearted · 9 months
Note
Why would you wish your neighbors to fkn die just because they make noise?
gosh some ppl are way too sensitive and cant handle ppl saying anything at all huh
#bc im angry and they are RUINING MY DAY EVERY SINGLE DAY#bc they make noise that wouldnt be heard if they didnt live in next to empty apartments#bc im extremely nosie sensitive and get sensory overload very easily and noise makes me suicidal and homicidal#good for you that you dont care!!!! you are FORTUNATE for not being this heavily affected by noise. you're not better than me. ur lucky#grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr it makes me so annoyed that ppl like u just cant handle mentally ill ppl VENTING.#am i sending them death threats? no. am i beating them up? no. am i sending complaints to them? no. i am enduring my suffering#bc we live in a world where nobody cares abt ppl who arent normal. i am in genuine physical pain bc of this everyday#do u think this is fun for me???? do u think i want to be like this? no! i'd kille to be like u who can walk unaffected thru life!!!!!!#do u think i enjoy spending my days in agony just bc noise upsets me? i cant fkn focus on my school work!!!!!!! or anything else!!!!!!!!!#do u know that there is NOTHING i can do? i have to accept a life of daily torment bc im noise sensitive#if society allowed me i'd live in specific apartments designed for noise sensitive ppl. or in a cottage on the countryside#but society dont give a fuck abt ppl who diverge from being normal#also omfg just bc i vent and say i wish they died dont mean i actually genuinely want them to die#why are y'all so black and white?????? why is it so hard to understand that just bc u express smth in anger dont mean u ACTUALLY want it#tbh y'all are too much. and fkn unfair. ppl are actually allowed to vent in anger and let out steam and not suppress their emotions#i have never done anything to cause another person harm. i even have high blood pressure bc im so stressed out yet i never do anything#i have done NOTHING to harm my neighbors. the only thing i do is vent on my blog#do u really think theyre magically gonna die just bc i vent abt it???????#bro fuck off you made me even angrier like if u cant handle ppl expressing ugly thoughts#u and i are not compatible bc *i* know that u need to express things u might not even mean#but u clearly dont and need everyone to be uwu peace and love and perfect so just leave me alone go awayyyyyyyyyyy
4 notes · View notes
leatherbookmark · 11 months
Text
"ed shot izzy in the leg because izzy blamed the poisonous atmosphere on the ship on ed's love for stede, as if it was something bad, when it was in fact good and made ed happy"
god help me. literally what are those people watching the show with because it sure as hell can't be their eyes. ed shot izzy for talking shit about his pure and restorative love for stede. ed "fuck you, stede bonnet" teach. ed "freezes when izzy mentions a part of stede's catchphrase and goes to threaten the crew with a gun as izzy follows him stammering that he did not mean to mention The Previous Owner Of This Vessel" teach. this ed. the same guy who literally went krakenmode after stede abandoned him and had all of his things tossed off the ship -- along with the crew, "his playthings". ed "you're not a fucking mermaid >:(" teach.
THIS ED. shooting izzy to say "you're wrong and you're fired, loving stede was GOOD actually". ??????????????
#shrimp thoughts#what's going on in this club. is it the water? it has to be something#also i genuinely am unable to understand how people can still think the pink robe wearing songwriting and talent show organizing ed was GOO#he WASN'T HEALING. he wasn't being himself! he was adopting the thing he thought were stede -- fancy fabric! Healthy™ communication!#'why are we even pirates? we should do a talent show!' -- to distract himself from his own pain! what are you people ON#if ed's true self was a pink silk femme songwriter then WHY would he embrace it AFTER and ONLY after stede has left him at the altar?#metaphorically? do you people genuinely think that ed was super fine after stede just fucking disappeared into the night after his#confession? that he was fine n peachy to Talk It Through with his crew? that he was in his right mind when he told basically total stranger#who still knew him as The Blackbeard to just call him ed? ????????????????? GUYS. WHAT.#and ngl izzy was sorta right to blow the fuck up at ed. the way he did it wasn't good and it's clear izzy's response to traumatic emotional#events is to just process it quietly on your own and move on because there's work to do so he's NOT well equipped to deal with baby's first#heartbreak but dear godddddd piracy was their JOB it was how they earned money and supplies to LIVE. you can't live if you quit your#job to make friendship bracelets and give each other cute makeovers all day! how is that a controversial statement!#but then people are still convinced cottagecore retirement is 100% going to be the endgame so. what am i expecting here
3 notes · View notes
strwbrymlkshake · 2 years
Text
ohh I do want to pass away why am I so stupid
Tumblr media
#mine#🎸#why am i such a terrible person 😇 genuinely what the fuck#me when i want to cry and tear my skin off over a minor mistake ufhdshdjfjg can i stop being fucking stupid for once#crying over a mistake right NOW actually everything is so difficult i dont know what im supposed to do in these situations!!!!!!!#i get in trouble for not knowing what to do in social situations then i have to apologize and i didnt know THAT either.#bashing my head against the wall violence maiming killing death torture bloodletting slicing tearing defenestrating murdering annihilating#me anmd my epic autism powers. shouldnt i know better why csnt you understand!!! who is at fault here! i dont even know#ashshsjdksjfklsfke im wanna cry so hard everything sucks right now im too busy for this shit. for Emotions#why are you punishing me do you hate me?! did you never even like me at all are you trying to make me mad!!! why#im so tired and frustrated i want everything to go perfectly but its not nothing can be perfect in this terrible world he is going to hate#me now. hell why do i have urges like this it always ruins everything im being so selfish arent i aren't i arent i !!!!!!!! why cant we#be FUCKING compatible and perfect snd everything what is the problem am i the problem?!?? why cant you understsnd what im trying to tellyou#maybe it really would just be better if i died nothing good has happened or is going to happen to me since he probably hates me and#my life sucks!!!!! my face hurts from crying i cant cry properly it hurts it feels so hot why cant it end already!!!!!!! why cant#we be perfect like we are supposed to why cant you UNDERSTAND it seems easy to understand to ME whwueh i am mortified my throat hurts#my head hurts i hate this world why couldnt i resist why did i have to be vulnerable id be better off if. well i dont know#i do want to crush bones and flesh beneath my hands to be honest i dont KNOW i thought it was going well i thought it was good#the thread i am hanging on by is quite thin actually why do i care so much why do i care so little im going to explode right meow!!!#my mood is so ruined i dont know if im even used to this whole thing i cannot get in particular moods im so. rgrhrhggr none of this post#is going to make sense i just need to say words while crying then itll be fine probably#this is just another one of god's little tests i think that everyone will hate me no matter what in the end so i have to enjoy it while#it lasts. no matter how hard i try everything always ends up the same way. all this started because of my mistakes and itll end with them
8 notes · View notes
savage-rhi · 1 year
Text
I'm very much a, "fuck yeah and fuck you, I don't need validation! I'm me, cunts!" kinda fella, but sometimes I could use support.
#today i fucked up by reactivating my fb account which i haven't done in 2 yrs just to check on some folks id been sending good thought to#place is depressing everyone is miserable and everything feels fake and my mind is like#LOL this is why we left bitch byeeee#so i deactivated again went to work and idc what anyone says there are folks like me that can and do feel the energy and emotions coming of#people and it can fucking suck especially when so many are disregulated so i got a sensory overload and boss was nice enough to let me take#a bunch of breaks today and even scream in her office cause She Gets It (TM)#the weather is rainy and cold i'm getting so many fibro flares idk how i'm moving anymore#ive missed so many days of work already and it's not even fully winter yet i still have my job and im thankful i have an understanding team#but that doesnt pay the bills im still trying to find a way to pay for that doctor appointment coming up#graduate courses began for college and i think i'm gonna be okay but damn did they throw too much info all at once at me and that made#my adhd brain go WELL SHIT#ive been feeling incredibly lonely and not wanted in so many spaces that im struggling to even communicate with the few that i know do#love me for me and nothing else im trying so so so hard to keep being there for people and to keep loving#people that need it cause i don't ever want another human being to ever feel as miserable and unwanted as i have felt#but im also tired because i feel like thats all anyone ever sees me as just this being that can take their woes away and make them feel#amazing and i love that i can do that and listen to so many traumatic stories and help folks process that trauma my boss and many throughou#life have told me i have a gift for healing people and a vibe to me thats different than most and it feels good being around me but today i#just felt like people keep taking and taking and taking and i dont expect anything back thats not who i am id rather give than receive#but damn it i just wish someone could just give me the biggest hug in the world dont even have to say a thing just hold me and be present#and hold space for me to just feel weightless id cherish that more than anything in the world right now#on a positive note...#my dinosaur vo stuff got traction im getting a new cosplay put together i havent done that in 4 years i got to pet a wild deer i made#a coworker laugh so hard his juice went out his nose and my boss peed a little#im slowly taming another wild flock of turkeys and i got a bag of my favorite takis the guacamole flavor#i got a lot to be thankful for and i acknowledge it#but damn it im tired#thank you for coming to my Ted Talk rant and rave#if you made it this far: you're an incredible human being and i love you#please go treat yo self to something nice and know i love you for you
5 notes · View notes
mettywiththenotes · 2 years
Text
New date idea: Take me to see the iconic Shigaraki Tomura and Midoriya Izuku ice sculpture
8 notes · View notes