#do you think they even really talked about the impact of mia's death in those few weeks

[faraskyetruther]

You have to imagine that the reason why Phoenix and Maya became so close so quickly was because they had to rely on each other when handling all the administration of death after Mia's death. They would have had to arrange her funeral (right after having both been accused of her murder), had to look through her belongings, sort out her will (which she had definitely already wrote despite being so young because she must've known the danger she was putting herself in). Sure, the case itself would have brought them together but it was probably those weeks after when they had to continue setting aside the emotions of death and focus on practicality which really brought them together - and I hate that it was because Mia died.

[characteroulette]

well all rightie then, it’s time to analyse how DGS1 handles grief really well in my opinion

(once again, spoilers for all of DGS1)

(also some spoilers for the original trilogy games) (and a little of DGS2)

okay So my thesis statement here is that Asougi’s character in DGS1 is the vessel through which Ryuunosuke and Susato’s grief is explained. Everything about how they relate to Asougi is their dealing with their grief in a simple message: Loss hits hard, but you have to continue to live and love. Life Goes On, shaping that grief into yourself if you allow it.

We start off with Case 1 as our baseline. The set-up. It’s a routine to show what life is like for Ryuunosuke before tragedy. (Fitting for an AA protagonist to have their baseline of normal being accused of murder.) This case does a really, really good job of setting up Asougi as our friend, our partner, whom we might spend the rest of the game with.

(I mean, the death flag’s kinda obvious if you’re genre-savvy; the mentor must die so that the student may grow into their own. But Asougi’s so likeable! He’s confident, genuine with Ryuunosuke, comfortably teasing, and looks at you with the same eyes as Klavier. What’s not to love? Also that small hint of something deeper is so tantalising that for it to go unresolved is pretty unthinkable.)

It’s important for us to see how much Asougi means to Ryuunosuke, how much the two really are best friends. This set-up is pivotal to what happens next in Case 2: the drop.

The way Ryuunosuke reacts to learning about Asougi’s death is real. He tries to deny it at first, can’t bring himself to believe it. Especially since he’s been accused of the crime! But the moment he sees that photo of Asougi that Sherlock took, that’s where the truth of it hits and he can’t run from it anymore. All he can do is try to push past that biting grief to at least solve his friend’s murder and set things right.

Susato’s own grief is portrayed really well here, too. She’s so angered and clouded by it that she totally ignores the fact that Asougi and Ryuunosuke are best friends and believes Ryuunosuke to be the murderer. Really, she just blames Ryuunosuke because it’s easier that way, since the wound cuts just as deep for her.

What really strikes me, though, is how the whole case isn’t just a one-note misery. Like real life, the two slip into sadness when they remember their dear friend, but they’re still able to joke around. They still get upset or sarcastic or excited. Because, though their grief affects them immensely, the message is that life continues. It can’t just stop for them like it did for their friend; life goes on. Not out of malice, but out of necessity.

Also, the way Sherlock acknowledges their grief is pretty great. That felt hugely validating to me, how he tells them that their mourning is important and how his jovial, joking tone was never properly taking that into account. The way he continues breaking in at the end to lighten the mood, too, is his own genuine way of trying to help, exhausting though he may be. It’s appreciated, at the least, to keep us the players from breaking down into tears as the conclusion rolls with no real satisfaction at the mystery being solved.

That final conversation between Susato and Ryuunosuke, at least, is hugely cathartic to make up for that. It sounds like it should feel rushed, honestly, dealing with the majority of the grieving process in just Case 2, but it doesn’t at all. It seems properly healthy, like the two are doing their best by confiding and taking comfort in one another in order to celebrate Asougi’s goals, to keep going where he can’t. Ryuunosuke and Susato both form their resolve here to continue to live, not just for Asougi, but for themselves as well. For life’s sake.

Because, again, life goes on.

(A brief tangent: Seeing the contrast of this story versus the original trilogy is also a really neat sort of view into Shu Takumi’s growth as a writer. Or the AA series’ growth as a whole. How Edgeworth handled his grief by never really acknowledging it in AA1, how he basically ran away from it by refusing to live as a sort of punishment against himself, is really sad. Then Phoenix handling his grief in JFA by turning to anger and resentment is just as heartbreaking. Phoenix disavows himself from it, trying to spare himself the pain by denying it, which only hurt him more and he had to have everyone around him break him out of that awful mindset. Then in T&T it’s Godot’s grief which drives the plot, as he turns his anger on Phoenix unjustly. He blames Phoenix for Mia’s death and lashes out at everyone instead of allowing himself the time to properly grieve.

And then DGS1 comes along to say that maybe the answer is just that life goes on and we have healthier ways to reconcile with our grief and it’s just real neat to see!)

In Case 3 and 4, we can see through Ryuunosuke’s discussion with Lord Vortex (/Stronghart) the continuation of his handling this grief. It’s a burden, one Ryuunosuke doesn’t fully understand, but he fervently takes upon himself because we want to live for those we’ve lost. (It is the Wright way, the Naruhodou way, to take on the aspirations of the friends you’ve lost. To mimic their mannerisms, their ambitions, in order to keep them close to your heart.)

(That’s a whole other can of worms I could dive into, honestly, how their decision to give Ryuunosuke all of Phoenix’s poses for the whole ancestor vibe while ALSO making it clear that Ryuunosuke took them from Asougi to begin with, it’s just. It’s good, it’s perfect, it’s the same brand of gay the series is known for and I’m love it.)

You also see, as the trial of Case 3 progresses, how Ryuunosuke is basically just living off of ‘what would Asougi do?’ as Susato coaches him along and it’s fun and bittersweet all the way through. Case 4 is where he gains more confidence in himself, but he still defaults to thinking of Asougi’s unwavering trust in him to help him and every time it’s handled with tenderness and shows just how much Ryuunosuke loved his friend.

And, if you’re like me and take every opportunity to examine Asougi’s badge and present it to Susato (/others), you see how they continue to grow with their grief. It starts off with both of them being unable to say much, still weighed down heavily by Asougi’s loss. Though they are continuing and life goes on, it’s still a wound too fresh to approach and hard for them to properly explain.

By Case 5, though, the two of them are more conversational. They’ve found their words, they’ve mended that wound as much as possible so that life won’t leave without them. It still hurts, of course, but it’s easier to think about. It’s easier to reconcile when they’ve been working hard and making friends and continuing to live. It’s small, but the progression is there and I really appreciate it.

Speaking of Case 5, though, everything about this one, in regards to Asougi, is pure catharsis. It really is like they’re looking their grief right in the face and accepting it as a part of themselves. Ryuunosuke looks back on his friend not just with fondness, but with gratefulness that Asougi could make such a big impact on his life.

(This is similar to the whole Phoenix and Mia thing, I feel, since Phoenix often thought of his mentor with the same sort of tone. At least, I think so. Remarkable how Phoenix’s grief can mirror the finalised version of Ryuunosuke’s with the help of spirit channeling! /joke)

Ryuunosuke and Susato have etched Asougi into their hearts and their persons and it’s just really, very good I like it a lot.

(okay time for a few paragraphs on DGS2 and Asougi)

Case 1 one DGS2 is a neat look into Susato’s mind and thought process. You can definitely tell she’s still just a 16-year-old with the mistakes she makes and how she tries to handle her own arguments, which is very cute. We also get to see her actually talking to Asougi’s grave and then see how her own relationship with Asougi has influenced her style (/poses) and aspirations. (Ryuunosuke, too. It’s cute to see how she’s ended up a mixture of both of them.) And it’s a great rug pull moment for the player, since the way that the grief is handled in DGS1 is so good and (almost) final that hearing Asougi might not actually be dead is a bit like digging up old wounds. I mean, we went the entirety of the first game coming to terms with his death, what do you mean his body went missing??

(Case 2 serves as a reminder. Like haha remember how Susato and Ryuunosuke both love Asougi and are sad about his death? Here’s the baseline again, get ready to have it wrecked!)

And Case 3 is phenomenal, too. The way Van Zieks is so understanding in his response to showing him Asougi’s badge is just. It’s perfect, he’s so gentle and empathetic that it shocks Ryuunosuke (even though Ryuunosuke did the same understanding and concern for Van Ziek’s situation Ryuunosuke please). Then the way that Ryuunosuke sees Asougi, disguised in a cloak and mask, and immediately recognises him. To me, that really shows how much he loved his friend. He knew Asougi for about a year and it’s been about nine months since Asougi’s death, yet Ryuunosuke recognises him just by the way he carries himself.

But, to him, Asougi is dead. He’s made peace with that. So, even if it plays on his mind, he can’t allow himself to think that. He puts it out of his mind completely and doesn’t think on it again.

At least, until Susato (who reacted very realistically by shutting down the possibility that Asougi might still be alive because that means Sherlock lied and she couldn’t take having that hope break her worse than before) sees the exact same thing just as immediately and shouts after him. The fact that they both see this disguised man and know it can be no one besides Asougi is insane. It’s love. It makes me cry, I wish they could’ve hugged him during the big reveal (though I know Japanese culture’s just not like that).

Anyway, DGS2 diatribe over. Back to the conclusion.

The whole of DGS1 is just a masterful example of how grief doesn’t have to destroy you, of how life can go on and that doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and how channeling that grief into motivation to keep their memories alive can be powerful. That it’s okay to still feel grief even as you heal, that it’s okay to have fun and keep living even as you mourn. Life is a mixture of levity and tragedy and, to me, DGS1 nails that mixture with perfection.

Absolutely legendary. Join me next time when I dive into the main theme of DGS2, which is literally ‘the dead will come back to life to haunt you’ thanks for coming to my essay talk

[enderspawn]

op I am pleading for you to talk about c!Schlatt I keep getting interrogated for saying c!Schlatt was the best president and he really didn't do anything super terribly wrong please talk about him

i mean... im sorry anon but idk abt best PRESIDENT. manburg under schlatt.... kind of sucked imo JFKDLSJFKL

1. manburg had massive food shortages, to the point the average citizen (including fundy) had to eat spider eyes to survive.

2. he imposed ludicrious tax of his civillians (namely niki. we dont know if he did that to Every Business like w fundy or if he targeted niki specifically bc of her closeness to the ex-president, but neither is good)

3. exiled those who he saw as political opponents to keep his power

4. straight up ignored his cabinet a lot of the time to make his own decisions (such as destroying the white house, which led to quackity leaving)

5. was widely hated by all the citizens. literally at one point all the ppl left in manburg was schlatt and jack manifold (who was MIA on the server and left to found Manifold Land when he came back)

6. held a public execution, AGAIN without the consent or knowledge of his cabinet (IF I REMEMBER RIGHT. i know big q opposed the execution at minimum, but idk for sure if he knew it was planned at all before the festival)

7. was basically at war his entire presidency thanks to pogtopia's existence

and thats just what i can think of rn! the reasons i like c!schlatt are fully based around him as a character and HIS personal development, not around his policies or actions. especially when compared to the other two presidents, who either won or prevented a war and kept the majority of its citizens happier and healthier than Manburg, he's.... probably the worst president they had tbh

BUT since you gave me an excuse to ramble abt him anyway, i wanna go on abt what i DO like abt him (under a cut bc this post is already kinda long oops) but

tldr; i like schlatt bc of his relationships with others, his flaws and pitiable moments, and how he is a fantastic parallel/foil to the characters around him

I like his complex (and yes, abusive) relationship with quackity, especially after his death and quackity's feelings flipping rapidly between hating him and missing him. but before that they did have a honeymoon-esque period-- at least from quackity's view.

watching their date you get the idea schlatt mightve never really been interested in him and mightve just been using quackity's interest in him for his own advancement! but we dont know.

maybe he did truly love quackity in his own fucked up way in the end, even if he wasnt a good person. maybe he regrets his actions and cruelty. or maybe he doesnt.

in the end they were (like the animatic i linked said) "built from the same dirt", they're both incredibly ambitious and prideful people and parallel each other a LOT (see: q's need for power, his want to execute ranboo paralleling tubbos execution, etc). they're not good for one another, but i love seeing just how they fall apart together (i hope you die, i hope we both die kind of beat)

and.... god his relationship and impact w fundy i could ramble abt all day dude. fundy kept schlatt's sword after his death and calls it an heirloom. we dont know 100% how old fundy was when wilbur was exiled (i mena... he ran for president but current fundy is like 20something and tommy ALSO ran as vp at 16) but we can assume he was a late teen. his own father was gone, but schlatt... seemed to CARE. he showed him affection.

fundy's never truly felt like hes BELONGED anywhere (even the country his father said was all for him, he felt ostracized and made different by his fathers doting babying) and because of that hes always looking for a group to be a part of. hes a people pleaser (its part of why hes so easy for big q to get for las nevadas).

and schlatt GIVES him that feeling of belonging he deserves. hes a spy the entire time, yes, but he becomes conflicted about it as time goes on.

could schlatt just be using fundy and filling his head with empty praise? sure, i couldnt fault you at all for that interpretation, its perfectly valid. BUT, i dont think so. he seemed genuinely shocked to see fundy oppose him on nov 16th. remember, he didnt know fundy was a spy.

in that moment he realizes just HOW alone he is and always has been. and its a tragic moment: the last person he had, the person he himself mightve truly CARED about left him just like everyone else. he was alone, truly and fully. even his allies were only there out of obligation and bc of him paying.

he knows his health has been failing him. he cant even swim due to muscular issues but he refuses see a doctor about it because he refuses to let himself be seen as weak.

hell, one could argue that issue leads to his abraisive and abusive behavoir in relationships: he refuses to let himself be true and genuine to anyone, there always has to be a wall and a proud perfect persona. its part of why hes a great villain both in narrative and to watch as a casual fan: just like c!wilbur, he's playing an act.

hes a foil and a parallel to wilbur. both are men who hide their true selves behind a certain role or persona they feel they have to play while they hide their crumbling health (schlatt's more physical and wilbur's more mental). both experience their rise and fall. but wilbur isnt despised, even if he thinks he is, while schlatt isnt truly loved by anyone, even if he thinks he is.

most of all, their deaths couldnt be more different. wilbur went out with a bang. a large dramatic scene fit for a storybook, with a long monologue and cinematic final blow ALL made to fit how he saw himself in a story and simply filling a required roll. but schlatts death is practically overlooked (especially in comparison to wilburs death and everything else that happened that day).

he built his entire persona about being this massive, larger than life powerful guy but he died small, weak, and frail to his own failing body. its... pitiful, honestly. it doesnt feel fitting, it feels wrong. his life up that point demanded drama, but his death was nothing more than... an accident, almost. unintentional. clumsy. its fucking brilliant.

[redstainedsocks]

Found Wanting

(Reminder, and for those who missed it, I changed Eli’s name to Zach from here on out and retroactively by editing the other pieces. Same character, same backstory, new name ^.^)

Warnings: brief derogatory language, victim blaming, guilt, feelings of betrayal, hurt by someone that should be trustworthy, abusive tactics, blackmail set up, slapping, conditioned behaviour/trauma response, brief allusions to past NSFW/noncon acts

[Previous] [Other parts] [Backstory]

Zach was shattered. There were always more questions to answer and more they wanted to debrief him about and he’d also been assigned to have a session with a counsellor three mornings a week. It was hours at a time of dredging up just enough to let them know he was serious about his recovery, while keeping enough of his shame hidden where no-one would ever have to see it.

He spent every other moment that he wasn’t being interrogated one way or another either hiding in the bedroom he’d been provided or sitting in the break room hoping to go unnoticed. More often than not if one of the team saw him they would ask if he wanted something to do. He nearly always said yes, wanting to be helpful and polite. They asked him to describe locations or remember the names of people or had him look through dossiers to see if anything dredged up memories of things that he’d overheard and could give them information on.

It didn’t matter that he told them he wasn’t allowed to be privy to anything important, or that he was always in some back room and often blindfolded—they wanted him to feel useful. He was good at being useful, just not in the way they remembered.

There were other jobs on the books that he wasn’t part of and wasn’t allowed to know anything about. People bustled back and forth, computer screens were on all the time, voices talked continuously in low undertones. The fridge in the break room hummed loudly and the water cooler bubbled annoyingly often and all of it was too much stimulation.

He found, one afternoon, that the interrogation room was blissfully quiet. With it’s dark grey soundproof walls and uncomfortable seating, it wasn’t somewhere anyone else chose to spend time. It was a haven of quiet and he laid on the hard floor hoping that no-one would find him there.

He was wrong.

The door squeaked open and he froze before scrambling to his feet to see who it was and whether he was needed. It was Tom. He’d been lower in the ranks when Zach left, and they’d never had much of a rapport and no reason to be friends even then. Now there was a gulf between them that neither had tried to cross. Tom had barely stayed in the same room as Zach for more than a few minutes and wasn’t privy to the debriefings like some of the others were. Zach hadn’t sought him out and had barely said more than a word or two to him since he got back.

Now he twitched nervously as he waited for Tom to speak, his fingers tapping against his palm inside loosely curled fists.

“What are you doing in here?” Tom grunted, dropping a file of paperwork onto the desk. It landed with a soft thwack and Zach smothered a flinch.

“Just looking for somewhere quiet. You?”

“Looking for you, you’ve been MIA for almost two hours. They’re checking storage cupboards and all sorts out there.” Tom scowled, and Zach thought it made his usually bored face look ugly, and mean spirited. It sent a shiver of unwanted anticipation down his spine. “And here you are sitting around doing nothing, wasting everyone’s time.”

Zach inhaled slowly to calm his pulse, or try to, and nodded. He and Tom always grated on each other’s nerves, there was no telling why, but it seemed his time away hadn’t made anything better. “I’ll get out of your hair.”

Tom crossed his arms and leaned back against the door, blocking the exit and smirking. Cruel, maybe, or some kind of power play. “Oh you will, will you? How generous.”

Zach gathered the tattered edges of his courage around himself like a cloak. Drawing it close and trying to draw himself up tall. “Do we have a problem?”

“I dunno, you just swan back in after so long being gone and expect everything to go back to the way it was? After everything you did?”

“What did I do?” Zach asked, curious now, at which thing in particular he was getting the blame for this time.

Tom’s face darkened, his eyes narrowed as he shifted his weight forward and pointed an accusing finger at Zach. “We all had to move, all had to go into hiding at a moment's notice—because of you.”

The sudden onset of anger was shocking, a bottled up rage that was opened and poured out in so few words. Zach nodded, once. A swift bob of the head as the rest of his body fell into absolute stillness. He knew how to avoid enraging someone further when they were angry with him. At least, he always hoped he did. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t fucking care if you’re sorry,” Tom said hissing, stalking closer. “I lost my fucking cat because of you, she was out the day I vacated and when it was safe to go back I couldn’t find her. I couldn’t visit my dying grandmother in case I was seen and it put my family in danger. You ratted us out and now you come back and expect to be treated like the golden boy all over again? I don’t think so.” He punctuated his sentence by stabbing Zach in the chest with a finger, prodding and prodding again until Zach stepped backwards.

“I didn’t—I don’t,” Zach had no defence, no come back. He had no way to make up for it. He’d given in under torture and duress, yes, wouldn’t anyone? He’d given their locations under threat of other people’s deaths too, but of course Tom didn’t know that and he was sure it wouldn’t take the sting out of the betrayal anyway.

“They might all fall at your feet and mop up your tears and coddle you, but why the fuck should I? Huh?”

Zach pressed his lips together, balled his hands into tight fists and tried to breathe evenly. He wasn’t safe for any of them, he knew that, he’d tried to admit as much. He couldn’t make this right and there was a strong chance he was going to make it worse, hurt everyone again. Unless...“Don’t coddle me,” he said. “You can… you can keep me in line.”

“Wait what?” Tom stepped back, and Zach chanced a look up at his face and saw confusion, furrowed brows and thin lips.

“I’ll do whatever you say, you can tell me how to be. Make sure I don’t fuck up.”

Tom laughed, bitter, acidic, sharp as knives and Zach cringed. “Maybe I want to see you fuck up, ever thought of that? Maybe I want everyone else to see the weaselly weak little arsehole underneath the façade. Why would I help you?”

“To keep them safe.” Always to keep them safe. Always to minimise the damage. He just wanted not to be hurt, or see others hurt, or to keep picking at the wounds that were burned into his own soul; he couldn’t do it alone and yet he was completely isolated.

Tom marched forward and slapped him, Zach reeled but turned his face back and offered the other cheek. The second slap forced his head so far to the right that his neck twinged and the impact site felt immediately warm, humming with a sting that would surely redden the skin. Tom shoved him and Zach stumbled before he fell to his knees, lowered his head and raised his hands in submission. He’d do it, he’d do anything, just please make it all stop.

He waited. And nothing came. No pain, no orders, Tom showed no intent that Zach could brace for. He thought about reaching forward for a zipper or a waist band, and wondered if that would help. He tried, moved forward blindly and his hands met fabric, his fingers fumbled for the opening until his hands were roughly pushed away.

“What the hell?” Tom said. Zach glanced up and saw disgust and cringed at the hatred in the eyes watching over him.

Humiliation washed over him, smothered all other thoughts as he stayed there on his knees, willing and open... and unwanted? He used to think he’d grow beyond humiliation to where nothing could touch him anymore but he was always wrong. It was a slumbering thing inside him that awoke over and over again at the slightest provocation. On the floor in the midst of his old teammates, waiting to be found pleasing, or outed as a traitor, the red burn of it was as fresh as ever.

Tom snorted in derision and Zach grit his teeth, hurting his jaw as he ground them down and clenched his eyes shut. Tom’s hand grabbed his jaw, rough and warm and gripped it tightly, his thumb pressed into the hinge and Zach’s chin sat on his palm. Zach swallowed as Tom turned his face one way then the other, before forcing his head back until his neck strained at the pressure.

“Open your eyes.”

Zach obeyed immediately, hatred ran deep but it was always, now, turned inward. Tom’s cool, icy stare appraised him, flicking over his features and down his body; disinterested and judgemental. Zach was laid bare again. Always. Weighed and measured, found wanting.

“They really did a number on you, didn’t they?”

Tom shoved him, and he choked briefly as his throat took the pressure of Tom’s hand under his chin before he fell backward, unbalancing off his knees to land on his backside. He sat there, stunned.

“I’ll keep this dirty little secret between us, and you... don’t tell anyone I hit you,” Tom said.

“Yes, all right,” Zach breathed out the words and lowered his eyes to the floor.

“I could use a stress reliever…” Tom mused, and then he laughed. “You’ve got yourself a deal, you can be my punching bag or my errand boy, or my bitch. Whatever works.”

Zach winced at the words but said nothing as dread pooled in his stomach, a cold and uneasy feeling. There was relief too, but it was smaller, drowned out by the knowledge that pain was sure to follow. By the time he looked up, ready to reply, the door was already slamming closed, and Tom was gone.

[Taglist: @haro-whumps , @whumpthisway , @hurting-fictional-people , @lonesome--hunter @crowned-avery @extrabitterbrain thank you to everyone who's asked to be on the taglist, let me know if anything changes!]

[appledotcodotuk]

why the hive fckin suck at its job: a rant

spoilers for tgwdlm ahead!

first of all, it's important to consider what exactly the hive's job is. my answer is... who the fuck knows. literally. what is the hive's aim. what do you want Paul? more like, what do you want hive? let's find out!

it kinda evolves, as the play progresses. the intial aim of the hive, and one that does actually remain consistent is the constant burning need to grow and devour and gain more and more (insert capitalism metaphor here).

however, this is distorted by the people it possess who influence that aim, as we'll see later.

also the fact it crashes into a theatre displaying Mamma Mia gives the hive the motive it need to fit the world around it to the structure of the musical. having no originality of its own, the hive instead just picks up what is given to it. kinda like an evil baby.

it wants uniformity, that is indeed its ultimate goal and desire, no duh. it thinks it can achieve that through musical theatre, shame that the hive is dead wrong. cause the hive fucking sucks at its own job / aim / ultimate purpose / one concrete goal that motivates all its actions.

can't maintain control over its subjects

okay, so, the hive wants uniformity. it wants everyone to be dancing to the beat of its own tune. right? yeah. shame it literally can't keep its own possessed subjects in line at all. at the risk of sounding like the 10th doctor waxing lyrical abt humanity for the 50th time, humans are really difficult to control cause we're not really motivated by an altruistic allegiance to one primary good. we've got icky emotions that often move us to do stupid unpredictable stuff way more. it makes me wonder if the reason the hive wanted to use musical theatre to try and persuade ppl was cause it seems to think that is how theyll get emotive humans; through emotive songs. anyways. let's look at some examples shall weeeee?

Mr Davidson:

so, Mr Davidson. funnily enough, he's the guy whose in part acting as the hive trying to figure out what it wants through his interactions w/ Paul. every person it possess gives it just a bit more humanity and curiosity abt the world it is currently taking over. at least I think so. hence why as the musical develops u get character's like possessed!Alice wondering 'why does it hurt to love?' - the change in music and mood to something much more introspective really suggests to me that the hive is beginning to question the thoughts and emotions of its human hosts.

Mr Davidson is a family man through and through, he loves his wife Carol. she's his muse, his source of light. his feelings for her are not concrete or easy to explain and solve - hence why his sudden ahem demand of her is so hilarious and also jarring. it completely clashes with the 'I want song' which is simple, and often pushes forward a wider cause. not so with Mr Davidson, he just really loves his wife man. enough to break a frickin alien possession.

tbh I think its hilarious that (at least to me) the hive has to force him to forget and continue with the song, like, he straight up is just talking to his wife in that phone call, talking, not singing. so, no possession until he reverts back into song. ergo, the hive cannot maintain the uniformity it wants. even from the get go when theoretically its control should be stronger cause it has less ppl to co-ordinate. bad. at. its. job.

Paul:

this one hurts folks. yes, I know it's generally agreed, though somewhat debated that the state of Paul by the end of the tgwdlm is not purely possessed. I agree. once again, the hive is unable to truly enforce uniformity.

at this point, the motives of Paul and the hive are kinda just mixed, neither fully human nor fully alien. hence the constant shifts between pleeing for her to get away, to hide, to stay safe: 'what if the only choice is you have to sing to survive' and just full on old style hive nastiness 'let me puke in your mouth and just open your food bin girl' (so romantic 🥰 /j).

the hive has gone away from its original aim, and become something... different. no longer stuck to just one type of genre or style of song, it's really clever to show the developing complexity of the hive by showing how it is now juggling lots of different motifs with references to all the old songs from before recontextualised in a new way - its learning. evil baby... no longer uniform.

general miscommunication:

there are several instances of the hive not fully having uniform control over its subjects. for instance, right after not your seed with the three teens having to like... calibrate. they aren't just completely connected then?? also, this is a very small thing, but uhhhh at the end of inevitable when Paul is about to say the apotheosis is upon... the chorus interrupts him with USSSSSSS. interruptions??? not very in sync of u hive.

I think this inability to exert uniformity is also shown in the contrast between genre of musical theatre. my alien abomination cannot decide whether it wants to be the more modern edgy rock musical (join us (and die), not your seed ) or super happy go lucky old style musical theatre (lah dee dah dah day, and inevitable). it tries to do both, even while trying to encourage union, and sticking to one thing. hypocrite!!!!!

2. aims are guided by the people it possess

so, I mentioned this a bit already, but the hive isn't only mutating the humans, the humans are mutating the hive right back. this is more an interesting observation than any actual analysis but let's goooo.

greenpeace girl:

I think it's very likely that greenpeace girl is one of the first to be possessed. This is probably easily debunkable but whatever this analysis is flying by the seat or its pants anywayyyyy. why? cause where else would it pick up that whole 'this planet needs fixing' thing? it's interesting too, cause it morphs from expressing the desire to join hands and sing together, unity and peace with no actual action behind it. this then goes right to the other end, with the hive going 'fine I'll do it myself' and trying to save things by enforcing a dictatorship on the world. it develops and changes, and strays from its original means of accomplishing its aims! speaking oooooof...

3. inconsistent in means of accomplishing aims

okay, ur an evil hive mind. u think musicals are the way to win over these silly humans cause they're all weak and emotive and seem to respond to them. but, wait! schwoopsie! you haven't realised that for emotional depth and growth to mean anything, you need there to be established development and well... growth. otherwise the sentiments are as vague as the ones expressed in What Do You Want, Paul?

this show has genuine emotional moments, just not really during the musical numbers WITH EXCEPTIONS. any strife is smoothed over quickly, and so the development and change that would have to go into such growth is just gone. (see, You Tied Up My Heart) all so it can achieve its own desire to grow and grow and grow, maybe a metaphor for art being killed under late stage capitalism??

what actually matters is the impact the songs have afterwards, in causing a death - because we have a bond and care abt these characters. those short scenes between Paul and Emma are actually way more resonant than any song. except... inevitable, and also not your seed a bit. at this point the hive has learnt a thing or two, and can actually twist human emotion a little. but for it to do that, it has to reject the uniformity it prizes, and be adaptable. point towards being more human than it first thought? methinks so. and yet it's just not enough...

it's also why let it out, to me, feels really ingenuine. Paul has expressed himself in much better ways already. what they're doing is clearly paining him, and hurting the guy. he's terrified bless.

you can't force someone into being emotional vulnerable, man.

it's why all the deaths for the characters who are forced to express themselves are really violent, involving them being ripped open - literally forcing them to expose themselves from the 'inside out' as Alice reflects in Not Your Seed. you can't force genuine emotional connection, it has to be fostered, shown in the much more affecting relationship of Paul and Emma. the only reason the hive actually has power over our characters is because of these genuine emotional connections, which it tries and often fails to take advantage of, resulting in just resorting to brute violence. messy hive, very messy.

at the core, the musical's a kinda attack on that toxic positivity mindst: trying to force people to reach the sort of easy solutions by sharing feelings in a way that feels pretty invasive and deciding you are instantly fixed. the problems these characters face are jarringly not really what you'd expect a character in a musical to face, cheating, a lot of it, mid-life crisis. problems that are bland, or wayyyy too real. this is purposefully done, to reveal just how silly the hive's aim to use musical theatre to solve everyone's problem is. life is more complex than that smh.

4. a human can write a much more expressive, and genuine song than they ever could lol

u know which song I'm talking abt. what more is there to say. so much for making persuasive songs to tempt people over.

5. make me sad cause they took some perfectly nice ppl and funked them up 😭

this was a stupid point lol. basically I'm just bitter that this hive took a bunch of perfectly okay ppl and gave them hive brain. screw u hive. I swear I'm gonna watch Black Friday soon, cause I'm sure it's gonna completely destroy every thought I've had so far, but whateve,,, just take this as a look at tgwdlm like it's a stand-alone piece.

these guys are supposed to all be 'individuals' on one level, but also 'appendages of a much larger organism'. there's a little too much individualism and fracturing to be cohesive enough to do that I feel. the hive to me is not an infallible, unstoppable force, in fact, every human it takes over only brings it closer to understanding us. so that's maybe a slight positive note??? idk ?! I just have lots of thoughts and feelings abt this musical even if this doesn't make sense I'm proud i wrote it down hehe.

[x--daughters-of-darkness--x]

The Pretty Reckless’ Taylor Momsen Lives for ‘Death by Rock and Roll’

“The 27 Club” is a depressing cultural phenomenon — it’s the age musical luminaries Amy Winehouse, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain, Mia Zapata of the Gits, Janis Joplin and Jimi Hendrix died.

The Pretty Reckless singer Taylor Momsen is now is 27 but was 25 when she wrote a reckoning in the semi-autobiographical “25.” The song appears on Death By Rock and Roll, the band’s fourth record. The LP is a stunner; a dozen stellar songs that are at once reverential, referential and intensely personal.

In the past four years, Momsen lost two hugely important people in her life. In 2017, Chris Cornell died by suicide, and not long after, her musical mentor and best friend Kato Khandwala died in a motorcycle crash. Understandably, Momsen was devastated. Thanks in no small part to the catharsis of music, the age of 27 seems to be a renewal, as she exorcises her pain in Death By Rock and Roll. The Pretty Reckless’ best album to date, the passion and pain are palpable in both music and lyrics. The plaintive “Got So High” could be an alt-rock chart-topper, in wonderful contrast to the raw rallying cry and aggressive gutter-rock feel of the title track. She moves easily from the quirky cinematic moment of “Broomsticks” into the fiery, feminist coven-call that is “Witches Burn.”

Speaking from her pandemic hideout in Maine, Momsen isn’t on the other side of the grieving process.

“I’d be a liar to say that I’m, you know, over things,” she tells SPIN. “I’m still in the process of healing, but the making of this record really was just a huge step forward. I was in a very, very dark space there for a while, and if it wasn’t for the making of this record, I don’t know if I would be here right now.”

She wallowed, but ultimately her instinct for self-preservation kicked in. As did a worldwide pandemic. Masking up is nothing new for Momsen, who calls herself “a super hypochondriac” who hasn’t left her house since March.

“Even before COVID, I was strict. It probably stems from being a singer and not wanting to get sick on tour, because you never fully recover. So [I always flew wearing] masks,” Momsen says.

Though she’s healthy, and it’s probably not an exaggeration to say that, emotionally, Momsen was saved by rock and roll. “I keep just sticking to the word rebirth,” she says. “I know it sounds cliché, but it really does feel like that for the band.”

While the songs are truthful, sometimes sad, always powerful, they’re never a pity party. “I keep trying to want to put a positive spin on it because I don’t want it to be this representation of this very morbid thing,” Momsen says. The concept behind Death By Rock & Roll is a positive rallying crying, something a band might shout together before going on stage. “It’s an ethic that we live our life by; go out your own way, rock and roll till I die,” she continues. “Don’t let anyone tell me differently.”

The phrase “death by rock and roll” was coined as the band’s de facto motto by Khandwala, which made it an appropriate choice for the album title. The band’s friend, producer and touchstone, Khandwala died in 2018 at the age of 47. He was with The Pretty Reckless from 2010’s Light Me Up to 2014’s Going To Hell and 2016’s Who You Selling For.

Khandwala’s memory bookends the album: A recording of his actual footsteps on a wooden floor begins the record, and the final song is the poignant tribute “Harley Darling,” a stellar ballad that could be a hit on Americana/country radio. If the only way around something is through it, Momsen dove in headfirst, putting all her angst, love, sadness and power into the songs.

“The record delves into a lot of darkness and a lot of sadness. There was no way around that as a writer. And as a person. It just became so a part of who I was that I couldn’t avoid it. But I think by writing it and getting it out, that was a huge part of the healing process.”

Wanting to use music to process and express her emotions, she called Khandwala, who had produced every The Pretty Reckless album, to talk about recording.

But then came the call that Khandwala had died.

“That was the nail in the coffin for me. I threw my hands up in the air and kind of went ‘Yeah, I give up.’ I went down a very dark rabbit hole of depression and substance abuse and everything that comes with that.” she confesses. Momsen was so down that she couldn’t even listen to music. Eventually, listening to her favorite artists helped her. “I started with the Beatles, listening to every detail, the whole Anthology, and just going through what made me fall in love with music when I was young.”

The band – drummer Jamie Perkins, guitarist Ben Phillips and bassist Mark Damon – met Momsen through Khandwala and were all equally devastated, processing losses in their own ways. They were on tour with Soundgarden in 2017, which was a thrill but ended in tragedy when Cornell died.

“As an artist [being asked to open the tour] was the highest compliment that you could possibly get,” she says. “If you know anything about me, I mean Soundgarden is just the epitome [when it comes to rock bands]. I was there that last night in Detroit,” she remembers. “I talked to him at night I gave him a hug and said goodbye. When I wake up to that news the next morning … It just went from the most elating experience to the one of the most devastating. And Kato was at all those shows.”

Cornell’s death shook Momsen and the band profoundly. She says it “took me down to a place where I wasn’t useful in the middle of a record cycle.” The Pretty Reckless were supposed to be on the road for another year, but Momsen wasn’t up to performing as she dealt with her grief. “I couldn’t grieve and continue to get on stage every night and pretend, put on this big rock show like everything was okay. I left the tour,” she says.

With time, she was able to listen to Soundgarden’s music, and eventually, she picked up a guitar. Death by Rock & Roll was a record that was easy in the worst way possible.

“I didn’t have to try to write it. It was more just a necessity that I didn’t even know I needed. It just kind of poured out of me,” Momsen says of the writing process. “There were a lot of tears during the recording. We put everything we had into this album, physically, emotionally. There are good days, bad days, obviously. I think the full spectrum of emotions was spanned on making this, from anger to tears of happiness to tears of sadness.” Some days were too difficult for Momsen even to attempt vocals, too heartbroken from the past few years.

That said, Momsen, in conversation, along with the record itself, aren’t outwardly mournful. Her voice has laughter and life. “I’m ecstatic for people to hear the album and to share it because I’m really proud of it. I know it sounds cliche, but it really does feel like the first album, like we had to start from scratch again, and we didn’t know how that was going to go.”

Still, there are songs where Momsen chooses not to divulge the true inspiration to inquisitive journalists. “I think it’s unfair to the listener to detail song lyrics in a personal manner. It takes away what it means to [the listener].” She offers up an example to clarify: “I’m a huge Pink Floyd fan. (She references “The Great Gig in the Sky” in the song “Rock and Roll Heaven.”) I’ve watched every documentary ever made about Pink Floyd. In one, Roger Waters is talking about ‘Shine on You Crazy Diamond,’ going into depth about what the song was about to him, about Syd Barrett.”

Momsen was shocked to learn the song’s true story. “It was so not how I had taken that song my entire life! I’m glad that I know the story now. But if I had known before I listened to it, I think that it would have changed my perspective of the song. It wouldn’t have had the same impact that it had on me and my personal life. That’s why I don’t like to do that.”

Death by Rock and Roll reaffirms The Pretty Reckless’ love of rock and roll, along with the people who made them who they are, musically and as individuals. “I think because we went through so much trauma, and so much loss, that this record, in one way, feels so much like a gift. We’re given the gift of rebirth; I mean, how many artists can say that? As artists, you struggle to find inspiration always. In this case, inspiration was just thrust upon me.”

With a record that marks such a powerful turning point for The Pretty Reckless, talking about Khandwala and Cornell will be inevitable and ongoing. “This record starts and ends with my love letter to Kato. So there’s no getting around talking about that,” Momsen concedes. “But it’s so much more than that. I think it’s reflecting on the cycle of life. You come into this world with nothing but your soul, and you leave it with nothing but your soul.”

[talatomaz]

present tense | dinah drake x fem!reader

a/n: this takes place during 8x04 where ta & fta meet. this is shit, i know but i couldn’t get this idea out of my head. i practically used the same intro from my other fic for this one, don’t @ me but i just had no other way to start it. this also has references to dinahsiren in honour of dinahsiren week

warnings: mentions of blood

word count: 3.6k

masterlist | request list | request rules

i do not give you permission to repost or translate my fics on any platform - likes/reblogs are okay and are much appreciated

“Can we stop with the sob fest and get back to what we came here to do?”

You joked, interrupting Mia and Zoe as they reconciled over the argument they had earlier.

Just before Zoe could respond with a witty remark, the three of you became distracted when JJ arrived and proceeded to stab Mia in the neck.

Then, before you could even make a sound, he drove a sword through Zoe’s back. You screamed your canary cry, making him stumble back before you ran towards Zoe who had now crumbled to the ground, blood seeping from her body.

Holding back your tears, you gathered her into your arms and put pressure on the wound.

You barely took any notice as Connor went hand-to-hand with his brother, instead, you and Mia were holding Zoe.

As the three of you were huddled together, you felt a flash of bright lights surround you and with a blink of an eye, you were back in the bunker. Except this time, it looked...cleaner and technologically old.

You found yourself standing beside Mia, William and Connor; with you and Mia coated in Zoe’s blood and Mia’s neck still bleeding.

“Dad?”

You glanced over your shoulder at Mia then looked ahead where four adults stood in front of you. Your eyes widened as you recognised who they were. Oliver Queen, John Diggle, Rene Ramirez and...Dinah Drake, your mother.

All of you stood there, as if your shock had frozen you all in place. Time seem to begin again when William walked up to Oliver and hugged him in a tight embrace.

“Dad?”

“T-Those are my kids.” Oliver asked, tears falling down his face as he looked between William and Mia.

Then you watched Connor’s interaction with John and then everyone looked over at you.

“Hi...Mum.”

Everyone stared at Dinah as her mouth dropped.

“M-Mum? I-I don’t. I’ve not got a daughter.”

“Because you haven’t yet.” William stated and you glanced back at him in question.

“I think we’re in the past.”

Mia and Connor had a look of disbelief on their face whilst you agreed with William. You were one of the few people in the future to have ever experienced time travel; your Aunt Sara having taken you on a few missions on the waverider.

“He’s right. This place is new and our parents. Look at them. No gray hair, no wrinkles. What year is this?”

You asked, looking back at the group of parents.

“2019. What year is it supposed to be?”

Oliver asked when you and the rest of your friends let out a gasp.

“2040.” You answered.

“Okay, guys, we need to talk.” Oliver said, going into leader mode as he walked to a corner of the bunker, the rest of the parents following.

You and FTA followed suit and found an empty corner beside some weapons.

“How the Hell did this happen and why do you seem so okay with this?” Mia asked.

You were currently stitching her wound, as the bleeding had steadied, when you pulled on the last thread harshly as you answered.

“Because I’ve time travelled before. My Aunt Sara let me go on some missions with her when I was growing up. I got to see different time periods and she got to teach me how to fight. Win-Win situation.” You answered coldly.

Now that everything had relatively calmed down, you allowed yourself to run over the events that had just passed and suffice it to say, you were pissed at Mia because Zoe wouldn’t have been there in the first place had it not been for Mia’s stubbornness.

“Y/N-“

“I don’t want to hear it, Mia.” You replied coldly, closing the first aid box.

Connor then interrupted and explained how he was unsuccessful in killing JJ due to the fact that you guys had ended up here the moment he was about to kill him.

Mia then began to allude to killing a young JJ to prevent his reign of terror in the future before you, Connor and William disregarded her plan.

“We can’t tell our parents about the future or what just happened.” Mia stated, tenderly touching the bandage that now covered her wound. “Thank you, y/n.”

You merely nodded your head and listened as William began to argue.

“As much as I hate to say it, I agree with Mia. How are we meant to tell Rene his daughter is dead and John’s son is the one who did it? We can’t, William. It will have repercussions that we cannot control.”

You all then looked over as Oliver cleared his throat to get your attention. He, your Mum, John and Rene were stood in the centre of the bunker, quietly watching how the four of you were arguing.

“How about we all get some rest? We’ve all had quite a big shock tonight.” Dinah said to everytime, but maintained eye contact with you.

Since having revealed that you were her daughter from the future, she, understandably so, hadn’t said a word to you. But it still hurt.

“We have nowhere to stay. If you want, we could stay here?” You asked before your Mum interrupted you.

“No, that’s silly. You can come stay with me.”

***

“Home sweet home.”

Dinah said, closing the door behind her as she dumped her keys on the table.

“Where’s Laurel?”

“Oh, she wanted to be alone because she’s still grieving.” Dinah answered, confused as to why you were wondering why she wasn’t here.

“I’m sorry. Will she be okay?”

“I hope so. She knows she has us all, so there’s something at least. How about you? Are you okay? Are we okay? In the future, I mean.”

Dinah asked as you both sat on the sofa. Now that you were alone, for the first time ever, you found yourself in an awkward environment with your mother. Conversation usually came so easy to you two but finding out you have a daughter when you’ve not even been born yet kind of throws a wrench into that.

“Yeah, we’re good. We’re more than good. You’re the best part of my life, Mum. Dinah. I’m sorry. This is awkward and I don’t know how to handle this.”

“It’s okay. You can continue calling me Mum, if you want. I kinda like it.” She shrugged as she ran her hand over your arm in comfort.

The gentle embrace had you tearing up, as you hadn’t fully processed Zoe’s death and you knew you couldn’t even mention it to your Mum in fear of the rest finding out.

“Y/N, are you okay?”

“God, I’m just so exhausted, Mum. Like so exhausted.”

“What do you mean? I thought the future was a good place?”

“I-It is. I’m just so tired. My personal life is kind of a mess back home.” You said, lying through your teeth.

“Oh honey, it’s okay.”

Your Mum said soothingly, not even hesitating before wrapping her arms around you in a motherly embrace. You relaxed in her arms, and just like every time you hugged her, you felt your problems wash away and your mind ease, if only for a few moments.

***

“One of these days, I’m gonna slap Rene upside his head.”

You looked up at your Mum in question.

After your mini breakdown last night, you and your Mum had spent almost the entire night talking, just like you used to in your time. It made you feel better about this entire situation and you were grateful for your mother in any time period.

“What’d he do, Mum?”

“He just messaged me saying that William told him he becomes Mayor and now he’s acting as if he’s my boss.” She said, reading the text from her phone and rolling her eyes.

“I told William not to say anything about the future.” You added, rolling your eyes too.

“You really are your mother’s daughter.”

You and Dinah looked up to find John and Connor standing in front of you, grinning at you both.

“Oh, I didn’t know it was ‘bring your kid to work’ day.” Dinah said sarcastically making you smirk and fight to hide a laugh.

“Right back at you, Dinah. Connor thought he could help. He was an agent at an organization called Knightwatch.”

“It makes A.R.G.U.S. look like a kindergarten class. The Canaries are comparable, though.” He said, grinning once more at you as you rolled your eyes again.

“Canaries?” You glanced back at your mother and then widened your eyes at Connor. You guys weren’t doing a great job at not revealing things about the future.

“Haha, uh, he-forget it.” You waved your hand as if you were literally dismissing something real.

When Dinah and John raised their brows in question at each other, you smacked Connor‘s arm and scolded him.

“Ow, jeez, y/n.” He whispered and when your parents looked at you, the two of you suddenly smiled and pretended to act nonchalantly.

Dinah then changed the subject and showed you both something that was left at the crime scene of a bombing at Starling General. Connor then revealed the hidden message using a black light. You watched as he frowned and then excused himself to check his phone when it rang.

“This is Mia, I should probably go. Y/N?” He said, widening his eyes slightly to let you know he found out something he didn’t want your parents to know about.

“Yeah, I’ll come too. We’ll catch up later?”

“Yeah, of course. Be safe.” Your Mum said, kissing your cheek and quickly hugging you.

As you and Connor walked out SCPD and made your way to Oliver’s apartment, you started to speak.

“I’m sorry that you and John aren’t as close at the moment.”

Though you were glad that you and your mother were on good terms, you did feel bad that the rest of your team’s relationships with their parents had gotten off to a rocky start since you guys came back.

“It’s okay. It’s to be expected. I’m glad for you and your Mom. I know how close you two are. Time has no impact on that.”

“Thank you,” you smiled, “so, what did you see?”

He then began to explain the phrase he saw and the relevance it had to JJ.

“Shit, what are we going to do?”

***

After having relayed the information Connor had told you to William and Mia, you were all divided on how to handle the situation. You and William wanted to tell your parents but Connor and Mia wanted to handle this themselves.

You found yourself starting to get even more annoyed at Mia’s stubbornness but relented when Mia said that they could avenge Zoe by going after JJ themselves.

You all then went to an abandoned building that would later become Galaxy One’s home base. You decided to split up, with Mia and Connor in one direction and you and William in another.

As you and William started to look through the empty space, you heard Mia and Connor yell, “JJ” and before you could run up to join them, you found yourself surrounded by a handful of Deathstrokes.

Just by looking at them, anger coursed through your body as the image of JJ ramming a sword through Zoe’s chest came to the forefront of your mind.

“This is gonna be fun. Don’t move, William.”

You ran straight for the Deathstroke soldiers and began fighting them. You narrowly missed the swipe of their swords and you ducked under one of their arms before putting your full force into your kick to one of their chests. They fell to the floor, the sword clattering down beside them. Quickly picking it up, you stabbed the soldier on the floor and got ready to fight the other two remaining.

Just as you were about to strike, they fell to the floor in front of you, revealing John and Rene with their guns raised. You all jumped when you heard an explosion and ran out the building to find Connor and Mia, now joined by Dinah, Laurel and Oliver.

“You guys have got some explaining to do.” Laurel said, coughing as the smoke filled the air.

***

After the explosion at Galaxy One, which was sure to have consequences, you all went back to the bunker where you were scolded by your parents.

You all explained the significance of the building and that the Deathstroke’s leader was Grant Wilson, Slade’s other son.

“So if you knew it was Grant, then why did you call him JJ?”

You all stilled at the mention of JJ and looked at each other as if mentally asking whether or not to reveal the truth.

“Connor, what’s going on?” John shouted causing you all to flinch.

Connor then explained that JJ was the Deathstroke during your time and that you all thought he had come back alongside you. William then revealed the true nature of Star City in the future and how it’s overrun with crime and corrupt cops and politicians.

Then when William began to refer to Zoe’s death, he was harshly quietened by Mia.

“No, Mia. They have a right to know.”

William continued to explain how JJ had killed Zoe causing Rene to storm out with John and Connor following him.

“Now look what happened. We shouldn’t have told them.” Mia said, shouting at the both of you.

“You know what, Mia? I’ve had enough of you. This is your fault. JJ may have killed Zoe but it would never have happened if you hadn’t been insistent in us going in the first place! She told you that it was a bad idea. We both did.” You started to raise your voice then willed yourself to calm down and speak with a steady tone.

“There’s a reason why we were left in charge. For God’s sake, Mia. You jump into situations without thinking it through. Learn something from your goddamn father, for once.”

You watched as the blonde opened her mouth then closed it, unable to think of a retort. You hoped that, this time, she’d finally take your words into consideration.

Just now realising that you and Mia were still in the bunker, surrounded by Dinah, Laurel, Oliver and William, your cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Realising that, William attempted to change the subject.

“Zoe was fighting to fix exactly what her dad helped cause. That's why she was a Canary like both of you.

“You guys had a whole network of them in the City.” You added, smiling.

“And that's what Connor was talking about earlier?” You nodded at your mother. “And yet, we still failed to save the city.”

“Mum, you and Laurel helped us try and make it a better place. You trained Zoe and I and countless other women. We saved so many people, all because of you both.”

“Thank you, honey. I’m gonna go check on Rene.” She sighed.

“C-Can I come with you?” You asked with uncertainty but relaxed when she nodded.

***

“Aunt Dinah! I didn’t know you were gonna be here.”

You were currently outside Rene and Zoe’s apartment building in the Glades that looked a hell of a lot different than it did in the future. You watched your mother and Zoe hug when they pulled away and the latter looked you confused.

“Hi, I’m Zoe. Nice to meet you.” You shook her hand.

It was extremely weird and heartbreaking to see Zoe so young and happy.

For as long as you’d known her, she’d been so worried about the city and was later broken by Rene’s betrayal. The only time she was ever truly happy was when she was with you.

“I’m Tina. Dinah’s...cousin.” You lied, using the name your mother used when she went undercover.

Rene then ushered Zoe inside leaving you, Dinah and Rene alone. Rene expressed his fears of the numbered days with Zoe when Dinah offered some advice.

“Mum’s right. Just because she’s gone now doesn’t mean she will be. The future isn’t cemented. We can change it. It’s not all that hard to change honestly.” You explained, shrugging your shoulders.

“What? How do you know so much about time travel?”

“Aunt Sara used to take me on the waverider growing up. You and Laurel are great fighters but she wanted me to learn some League skills so she took me to Nanda Parbat where she, Nyssa and Talia taught me how to fight.”

You laughed when Rene and Dinah’s mouth dropped but was soon interrupted when your phone pinged with a message. It was Connor explaining that Mia had stormed out with Laurel and Grant had given a warning.

“We should get back, Mum. Rene, I’m sorry about Zoe. But I promise I’ll do everything I can to make sure she’s alive. I can’t lose her again.”

***

After arriving back at the bunker and discussing the next steps, you watched Connor storm away and put on boxing gloves. You approached him just before he threw the first punch.

“What do you want, y/n?”

“I get that you’re angry. I am too.”

“Oh really? Your relationship with your Mum is fine. Mine with my dad is not.” He said snidely making you push him.

“For fuck’s sake, Connor. I’m pissed about Zoe. Your brother killed my best friend. I’m not just going to forget about that!” You whispered harshly, keeping your voice low to prevent your parents from hearing.

You then tied your hair up and discarded your top, leaving you in your sports bra.

“Come on, a moving target’s better.” You sighed, picking up two sets of bamboo sticks, throwing one to Connor.

The two of you began sparring, aware of your parents watching you both.

***

“I need 3 units at the docks and another 2 in Pennytown, okay?” Dinah ordered one of her officers.

After your sparring session, Curtis had explained that the drive that they had found had revealed that Grant was planning another siege. Everyone, with the exemption of you, Dinah and Rene, had left to take care of the bombs.

You then watched as another officer brought in a handcuffed male and sat him in a chair. You and your Mum looked in confusion when you saw the male place something under the chair.

Then all Hell broke loose. The individual put on a Deathstroke mask and began fighting officers. You and your Mum ran over to the chair when you were grabbed by the Deathstroke soldier.

You grabbed his arm and flipped yourself to get out of his grasp before ducking to miss one of his punches. He pulled a gun from one of the officers but before he could shoot anyone, you screamed your Canary Cry, effectively flinging him through a window where he slumped unconscious against a wall.

“BOMB!”

You ran back to your mother and kneeled on the ground beside her.

“Bomb squad’s not gonna get here in time.” Your mother said.

“I got this.”

You had been taught how to disable bombs from different people over the years. They were skills that definitely came in handy.

Removing the device from the chair, you gently placed it against the ground.

“It looks like an IED but there’s something different. The way it’s pulsating makes me think that it’s linked to an intervalometer meaning that there should be a transfer switch in the original device. Luckily if I disable this, it shouldn’t trigger anything. I just hope the intervalometer is with the rest of the team because Connor will be able to disable that.”

You started to inspect the device. You gently removed the plastic cap, revealing two wires. Pulling a switch knife out of your pocket, you grabbed the red wire and cut it, rendering the device harmless.

You sat back against your heels and let out a breath. When you looked up at Dinah, you saw a mixture of shock, surprise and pride on her face.

“God, you’re brilliant.” She said, hugging you close to her.

“Well, I am my Mother’s daughter.”

***

After defusing the bomb, Connor was able to do the same, leading to Grant’s capture and imprisonment in Blackgate. Everyone then went their separate ways to spend more time with their parents so you, Dinah and Laurel ended up going back to SCPD after getting some Big Belly Burger.

The three of you were laughing like you did back home and it made you smile as you thought back to some of your happier memories.

“That sounds gross, Laurel.”

“Just try it.”

Laurel pushed her milkshake towards you and Dinah so you both grabbed a fry and dipped it into the drink. Surprisingly, it tasted quite nice.

“Not bad, Laurel.” Your Mum said as they both smiled at each other.

Though you had revealed a lot about the future, there were a few things you had omitted from mentioning.

“So, here’s a question, y/n. Why do you call John, Rene and Oliver by their names but Sara by Aunt?” Laurel asked you, going full DA mode.

“Ummm, because she is?” You said, unable to think of a lie. “These fries are yum.” You said, swiftly changing the topic causing Dinah and Laurel to share a look.

“Okay, that was weird. I need to run a quick errand but I’ll be back in a bit to work out the logistics of the Canary network. See you, Dinah. Bye, y/n.”

“Bye, Mum.”

The words were out of your mouth before you could stop them. You covered your mouth with your hands, as if trying to will the words back in your mouth, but the damage was already done.

“I’m sorry, Mum?”

Your Mums looked at each other in shock and then at you.

“Oops.”

[skullrock]

the partners | Steve x Reader

chapter one: please, please, please, let me get what I want 

series summary: you and Steve are police apprentices at Hawkins Police Station in the fall of 1986. you get along famously, but there’s something Steve is hiding, and there is an unknown evil lurking in Hawkins. [friends to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff]

chapter summary: Steve finally agrees to hang out outside of work. 

warnings: swearing, 80s music 

word count: 2.4k

a/n: this chapter is mainly a ton of exposition, but it’s gonna get better I PROMISE. huge thank ya to @wolfish-willow​ who gave me some beautiful ideas (milky coffee + danish loving Steve) that helped this fic come to fruition <3 enjoy!

--

You pull into Hawkin’s Police Department at 7:30, a half hour before your shift. There are two coffees in the cup holders of your car, and a paper bag filled with two pastries on the passenger seat. You pull in beside your partner’s car and he hops out, a smile plastered on his face. He crawls into your passenger side and grabs the bag.

“This one’s yours,” you say, pointing to the coffee cup marked milk w/ dash of coffee. He laughs, pulling out his blueberry danish and handing you your strawberry donut. He bites into his pastry and lets out a sinful moan, making you smack his arm.

“It’s too early for you to be gross,” you say, but he looks victorious.

“I’m sorry you don’t like my happiness,” he quips, and you roll your eyes.

It was tradition that every Monday that you both worked, you’d get coffee and pastries from the local bakery and shoot the shit in your car until your shift started.

“So, I had a dream last night where I was dating Mia Sara,” he says.

“Wish that were me,” you reply, taking a sip of coffee. “Did it work out for you guys?”

“Nah, she left me for Harrison Ford.”

“Tragic.”

He pauses, listening to the music softly coming from your radio. He scoffs upon realizing what was playing.

“Stop listening to this sad shit,” he says, turning the dial, making you shout.

“It’s the Smiths!” You try to bat his hand away, but he manages to change the channel to a Queen song. Typical.

You and Steve had become good friends after securing your positions, despite your perception of him in high school. After the fire at Starcourt and the death of Jim Hopper, the federal government had given the Hawkins Police a grant to let aspiring cops train directly in the field. It would fast-track getting certified, eliminating the need for expensive schooling. It was like a paid internship. A paid internship where you basically get paid to bullshit with your best friend all day.

A third car pulls in. It’s Veronica, the secretary. She takes over on days that Flo wants off – she’s worked hard enough for it. Veronica was a bit obsessed with Steve, so he groaned when he saw her get out and wave.

“What do you think she’s going to say to you today?” you giggle, and Steve rolls his eyes.

“Probably, like… that she had a dream about us last night, or something.” He squeezes his eyes shut. “God, please don’t let her talk to me.”

Women were throwing themselves at Steve the minute he put the uniform on, but he claimed he wasn’t interested in dating. You weren’t really sure why, given his history, but he never answered any questions. He just said he wanted to focus on work and having fun, so you let him.

Steve was kind of a mystery to you. You were incredibly close at the station, but you’d been working with him for a few months and you never saw each other outside of work. There were talks of maybe going to a movie, but they never went anywhere. It was bizarre, considering how fond you both were of each other. But you didn’t want to push it, unsure if you were making him uncomfortable.

In reality, Steve was just nervous of letting people in. Not just because of his history with girls and friends, but because he also had Russians and demons to worry about. He felt that if he let anyone new into his life, he would be putting them in mortal danger. This viewpoint is also the reason why he applied for the apprenticeship in the first place.

When the position popped up, Steve had no second thoughts. He had looked up to Hopper greatly since the time Will was possessed. He knew without a doubt that he wanted to follow in Hop’s footsteps. But he also felt an obligation now that Hopper was dead. Joyce had left, taking Will and Eleven with her. The three people who had the best grip on the strange events that had occurred the past three years were gone, and the man who devised most of the plans (and executed them) was gone, too. Steve couldn’t sleep at night for months. He needed to constantly call the kids and Robin to make sure they were safe. Being part of the Hawkins Police seemed like a no-brainer; it was a way to ensure everyone was safe and be on the frontlines to protect them.

Not that he ever let this on; usually he would just say that he’s always wanted to be a cop, and he kept it at that.

You’d decided to do the apprenticeship after college didn’t work out. You went to one in Indianapolis after high school, but you weren’t really into it. Your parents decided to retire and travel for a few years, offering to let you have the house while they’re gone. You gratefully took them up on it, and you’d been living there since the spring. You’d enjoyed a few months off, but decided it was time to find something new to do. You’d always had a fantasy of being a hero. Maybe not a hero cop, but a hero. You wanted to save lives, make an impact. Being a police officer seemed like a good start. You knew it wouldn’t be like the movies, but the strange events that happened the last few years excited you. Maybe you’d get the chance to be someone you’ve always wanted to be.

“Why don’t you just give Veronica a chance?” you ask. “She’s pretty and she’s nice and she’s smart.”

“She literally told me she wanted a lock of my hair,” he says.

You choke on your coffee. “I forgot about that.”

“Yeah? I didn’t.”

Steve’s watch beeps, signaling that it’s 5 minutes until 8.

“Please keep talking to me when we go in,” he begs as you both climb out of the car.

“What’s in it for me?” you inquire.

“I will give you all of the lunches my mom brings me for two weeks.”

You pause. “Even the Fruit Roll-Ups?”

He sighs. “I’ll throw them in if you do a good job.”

You successfully make it past the reception desk without incident, waving hi to Callahan and Powell. You knock on the Chief’s door to signify your arrival, and you and Steve make your way back to the annex you worked in. Your desks faced each other, making it easier to talk through your 8-hour shifts. They were usually pretty boring. You and Steve were only cleared to respond to calls about petty things, like noise disturbances. But it’s not like much ever happened anymore in Hawkins, and the town had almost made it a full year without any weird occurrences.

A few hours go by, and boredom runs rampant. You hated Mondays: things hardly ever happened. Steve gets up around 10:30 and puts a mixtape into the boombox in the annex. Don’t You (Forget About Me) comes on, and Steve mutters, “aw, hell yeah,” under his breath. You know he’s going to start dancing, but it doesn’t stop the surprised smile on your face as he starts to swing and spin and sing. It’s magic, watching Steve dance. It makes no sense, it’s clumsy, it’s so white that it hurts; but it’s also hilarious and never fails to pick you up. Sometimes you’d join him. Other times, you’d call him an idiot. And sometimes you’d just watch as the magic unfolds.

This was one of those times.

--

The door to the annex opens around 1, approximately 5 hours into your shift. You and Steve are begging for something to do, because throwing M&Ms at each other isn’t fun by the second hour. You’d just thrown one at Steve when the door swings open, and you and Steve look at the intruder with wide eyes. It’s the Chief.

The new Chief was okay, you guessed. He was also brought in by the feds. He was a kind older man, with deep set blue eyes and wispy white hair. He could have come straight out of a storybook. You thought the Chief delegated nicely, and you’d shared a few good laughs. Something always felt off, though – but you and Steve chalked that up to the fact that you both were extremely biased against anyone who wasn’t Hop.

“Noise disturbance call,” Chief Edwards says. “Some kids out on Maple Street are causing mayhem.”

Steve groans and throws his head back. “Please tell me it’s not 30 Maple Street.”

The Chief blinks. “It is.”

“God dammit,” Steve says under his breath. It’s Mike’s house.

You and Steve get into a patrol car and set off.

“Do you know these kids?” you ask.

“Yeah, they’re kind of… my kids?”  He scrunches his nose. “I keep them out of trouble.”

You pause, confused. “So, you babysit them?”

“No, no,” Steve says. His face grows slightly red. “They’re my friends.”

Steve pulls into the driveway of the house, blaring the siren once to scare the kids that were on the lawn. Their faces quickly went from scared to excited as they saw it was Steve in the car.

You both get out of the car, and Steve takes the lead. He puts his hands on his hips and faces the kids. There were 4 boys and 2 girls, no older than 16, if you could guess. One of them with dark hair is holding a hose, and the others are wet.

“What are you shitheads doing?” Steve asks sternly. A couple of the kids giggle.

“What seems to be the problem, officer?” the red headed girl asks.

“I told you we were being too loud,” a kid you recognize as Will Byers says. He is smart, sitting on the porch and just watching, amused.

“Right,” says Steve, pointing at Will in recognition. “Way too loud. Mike, where’s your parents?”

There’s a beat, and then the girl standing next to the red head quietly says, “Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler aren’t home.”

Steve sighs. “Alright, well, you could always act like idiots inside the house, you know.” He looks at the dark-haired boy holding the hose. “Mike, what are you doing with that?”

The boy’s face breaks out into a devilish grin, and you can predict what’s about to happen. He points the hose at Steve and a curly haired boy turns the handle to let the water spray out, missing Steve by a hair. He jumps back.

“HEY!” he shouts. “Not cool dude, not in my uniform!”

“Wimp,” you laugh, and push him forward, allowing him to get splashed. The kids cheer, and then Steve’s hands are on your arms, and he swings you around to get hit, too. You gasp at the freezing feeling on the back of your legs, but burst into laughter, trying to wrestle Steve back into the flow. This goes on for entirely too long before you suddenly realize that it probably isn’t a good look to be out here responding to a call and then partaking in the offense.

“Steve,” you say, and that’s all it takes for him to snap back into reality.

“This is fun and all,” he says, letting you go. “But we came to bust you, not join in.”

The curly haired boy turns the water off and Mike sets the hose down. Steve has a way with kids. He’s able to level with them and call them out at the same time. It’s pretty great to watch and it’s certainly something you admired him for.

“Who’s this?” the curly haired kid asks, grinning widely.

“Oh,” Steve says. “This is my partner, Y/N.”

“Do you get to carry a gun?”

“Lucas!”

“Sorry!”

“You hang out with Steve? That must suck,” the dark-haired boy, Mike, says.

“Every single day,” you say solemnly. “It’s the worst.”

“Hey,” Steve says quietly.

“I’m kidding, bud.” You punch his arm lightly. “You’re the best.”

You look back at the kids and they’re all staring at you with wide eyes. It makes you uncomfortable, so you clear your throat and say, “Well, uh – shift is almost over. We should be going.”

After an awkward farewell and another “please be quiet or I’ll kick your ass” from Steve, you both get in the patrol car. Steve sees Dustin gesture to call him, and he rolls his eyes, pulling out of the driveway.

“Why did they look at me like that?” you ask. “Because I said you’re the best?” You pause. “Do they hate you?”

He’s quiet for a while. Finally, he says, “I think it’s because we are really buddy-buddy but… I don’t really… I haven’t ever really… talked about you.”

You turn in your seat to face him. “Do you hate me?”

“Of course I don’t hate you.” His cheeks are red – he’s flustered. “You’re one of my best friends –“

“Then why don’t you ever talk about me? Or hang out with me?”

“It’s complicated,” he sighs. “It’s really complicated. I just – I don’t like … I get nervous about having new friends.”

You nod slowly. “Tommy H. and Carol.”

“Yeah.” It’s not really why he’s nervous, but it’s a good excuse. “I don’t want to get dicked over again.”

“Man,” you say, turning back to face the road. “I buy you a blueberry danish every single Monday. And a coffee. And I let you sing Queen at the top of your lungs, and I let you dance, and sometimes I even let you do it at 5 in the morning. I think if I didn’t want to be your friend, you would know by now.”

He’s quiet, thinking. You look at him, trying to read him.

“I guess I owe you the pleasure of hanging out with me,” he says after a while, a smile forming. “So maybe we can hang out Friday night.”

You gasp and throw your arm out, hitting him on the shoulder, making the car swerve slightly.

“Jesus –”

“Do you mean it?” you shout, smiling widely. “We can hang out?”

“I said maybe,” he teases. “It’s board game night with the kids – maybe you can come?”

You start chanting his name – “Steve Steve Steve Steve Steve! Really? Are you for real?”

“Yes!” He laughs and rolls his eyes again. “I’ll pick you up. It starts at 7.”

You smile so hard that your cheeks hurt.

Steve silently hopes he doesn’t regret this.

----

taglist (message if you want to join!): @harrington-ofhawkins​ @wolfish-willow​ @gothackedalready​

[rivalsforlife]

one more ahaha but the cherry blossom scene at the end of catch up game ch 3 because i'm still thinking nonstop about it all the time 👀👉👈

ABSOLUTELY I CAN also for anyone reading this go look at Mika’s art which inspired this scene. It’s the tumblr version so you can reblog it too, which you should do, even if you don’t read my long rambling,

okay once again rambling below...

Traditionally, Larry Butz arrived at any social gathering anywhere from half an hour to three hours later than the time he was told, so all things considered, he was actually early. Phoenix wasted no time informing him of the latest betrayal among their small elementary school friend group.

this is a direct callout to one of my friends from high school, where we started seriously considering telling her that any social event we were planning started an hour earlier than it actually did so that she’d make it there on time. We never did in case this turned out to be the time she actually made it on time, but still.

“Larry, remember that one time we were trying to make that gigantic hopscotch game, and we ran out of chalk?” He pointed an accusatory finger at Edgeworth, who sighed. “It turns out, Edgeworth hid it all along!”

Larry blinked, then shrugged. “Oh yeah, right, that. Well, I kind of had an idea…”

“Wh — You hid this from me too?! D-Death! The death penalty for the both of you!”

“Why does this all sound so familiar,” Edgeworth commented under his breath.

I think this part is mostly there so Larry actually does something because I couldn’t find any real way to fit him into this fic...? Anyways the dialogue there with Phoenix threatening the death penalty on Miles and Larry is pretty much directly lifted from the end of Turnabout Goodbyes, which is why Miles comments on it sounding familiar. 

They continued on in that vein for some time, dredging up old elementary school memories. Phoenix proclaimed to be the only innocent member of that group, before Edgeworth brought up a set of very nice gel pens Phoenix reportedly stole from him. Phoenix and Edgeworth got caught up in their argument, and barely even noticed when Larry wandered away, joining Maggey and Gumshoe at the fishing pond while Franziska critiqued them.

This sort of familiar banter was normal. As Edgeworth teased in that same way he had ever since Phoenix first faced him in court, he had to wonder if he’d just imagined the way Edgeworth had been looking at him during the party. Maybe everything was fine, after all.

Not pictured: Phoenix and Miles leaning in closer to each other as they argue. too close. Larry tries to comment but neither of them hear him. Eventually he just walks away because he’s sick of third-wheeling with these two. It’s my firm belief that if there weren’t the court benches in the way that they need to slam, these two would slowly walk closer and closer to each other as they argue because they. uh. want to “intimidate” each other. that’s why they’re nose to nose like that. the whole courtroom is suddenly very uncomfortable.

Haha anyways also I think these two would pick the dumbest things to argue about all the time? Never seriously arguing, the just like bickering because they don’t know how to hold conversations about their feelings.

“You still haven’t explained exactly what happened to my gel pen set,” Edgeworth accused, as they circled around the argument for the third time.

Phoenix threw his hands up in the air. “I just forgot to return it! I didn’t know you were so bothered by it. You should have brought it up!”

“Back then? You were so sensitive. If I brought up that you might have upset me in the least, you would have burst into tears.”

“I wasn’t that sensitive.”

Edgeworth sighed. “Wright, you cried when I got a question wrong on a spelling test, because you thought I would be sad about it.”

“And you were!” Phoenix retorted. “You cried for like an hour!”

“Because when you started crying, I thought it was something I had to be ashamed of!”

More bickering, pretty much! Also I do think Phoenix cried A Lot and was super sensitive up until the whole Dahlia trial which traumatized him pretty badly... 

Anyways the REAL story behind this incident which I am making up just now is probably that Miles was on the verge of crying because of Getting Something Wrong -- which I totally get, I absolutely almost cried over spelling tests as a baby -- and Phoenix picked up on this and realized his best friend was sad and started crying, which made Miles start to fully cry, and it just became a mess.

Meanwhile Larry with the 3/10 on his spelling test was just like “I don’t get what you guys are so upset about a 9/10 is great” which just makes them cry even more.

(Then Gregory probably found out about this incident and sat Miles down and gave him a speech about “everyone makes mistakes and it’s okay to not be perfect all the time, this is a learning opportunity and it shows you what you need to work on!”

:)

That sentiment didn’t last very long.)

Wow I’m getting off topic, moving on --

Phoenix crossed his arms. “I remember this whole thing very differently than you do. You cried first.”

“I never cried in fourth grade.”

Phoenix leaned in and whispered into his ear, “Origami.”

“Do not bring that up!” Edgeworth hissed as Phoenix reared back, laughing.

I don’t know if you need to lean in super close and whisper that in his ear though Phoenix, that might be a bit unnecessary. Miles got lucky here in that his Eternal Shame over not being able to fold an origami crane in fourth grade overrode whatever reaction he undoubtedly would have had about Phoenix’s face being very close to his face.

Anyways this banter is here in the fic mostly because I really wanted to show them being all comfortable and happy with each other. That was a major thing I wanted to push as much as possible in these earlier chapters, that they do care about each other a lot even before we enter the more outright romantic territory.

“Regardless, I am certain you took my gel pen set, so don’t try to blame faulty memory on that one. I bet you carelessly used them all up, didn’t you?”

“Hardly! I wouldn’t even touch it after you left. It reminded me of you.”

Some of the fight left Edgeworth’s stance. “Really?”

“Well… yeah.” He wasn’t sure why the admission suddenly felt like a confession of an entirely different sort.

aw man Phoenix you brought feelings into your banter NOW what are you going to do.

I’m preeetty sure I have books that I lent to my friends in fourth grade that they never gave back so it’s of course not an inherently romantic thing, they probably just forgot it was mine and obviously aren’t going to bring it back now ten years later, but for Phoenix in this case it was probably more like “I borrowed these gel pens from Miles and then keep forgetting to give them back but was going to after winter break, and then he left, so I need to hold onto them until he comes back”. Miles was taken from his life so suddenly it probably had a huge effect on him, especially since he had few friends at the time and Miles made such a big impact on him.

The two of them sat underneath the tree in a sudden, serene quiet. They’d both discarded their suit jackets at some point, down to their dress shirts and waistcoats. Phoenix pretended not to notice the way Edgeworth’s eyes darted across the line of his shoulders and lingered longer than they should have.

I don’t ever really pay much attention to what people are wearing or what they look like at any particular time when I’m writing, but in this case I took extra care to make sure they were in the same outfits as in the art that inspired this!

Maybe I’ll ramble a bit more about that! Pretty much the “theme” of narumitsu week this year was “cherry blossoms”, so I wanted to find some way to incorporate them into this fic somewhere somehow. I decided to have that as a focus on Free Day because I enjoy having structure and wasn’t sure what to have for the day.

Some of this scene, mainly the picnic, is inspired by that one official art here. The first iteration of this chapter had everyone in it (with the obvious exceptions of Diego and Mia) but then I took out Maya and Pearl for reasons I explained when I was talking about the scene in chapter 6 where I decided to cut a lot of Maya’s scenes out of this fic... even though I love her a lot.

And of course when I thought about cherry blossoms and narumitsu I thought about Mika’s art, yes I am linking it again, which I believe she posted about a month or so before I started planning and I was Thinking About It Constantly. It’s gorgeous and since there was the perfect opportunity to use it here I just couldn’t resist and here we are.

Back to the paragraph: Miles attempted to subtly check Phoenix out. It was not subtle.

“Do you still have those gel pens?” Edgeworth asked, softer. “I think you owe me them, after everything.”

“Oh, shut up,” said Phoenix, but it was difficult to have a heated argument right now, for some unknown reason. “If I still have them, they’re in a box somewhere. Plus, they ought to have dried up by now.”

“I doubt it.” A faint smile was beginning to crawl on Edgeworth’s face. “Those gel pens were state of the art.”

“Sure they were,” Phoenix dismissed. “And, what, you’re going to use them? Sign your fancy prosecutor documents in bright pink?”

“What makes you think I don’t do that already?”

“You wouldn’t — oh, wait, of course you’d have customized ink in the same colour as your entire wardrobe, who am I even talking to…”

“Mhm.” Edgeworth brushed his bangs from his eyes, a motion that Phoenix’s brain decided to fixate on for some reason. “But really, you went to all the trouble of keeping the set, and you never used any of them?”

(Miles voice) “oh so you kept something as trivial as that for so long because they reminded you of me? Tell me more. Why do you want a reminder of me. What exactly do you think of me, Wright,”

hm pretty much as soon as Phoenix brought Feelings into this conversation the atmosphere kind of changed and you can now imagine Miles staring with the most adoring expression at Phoenix while Phoenix is ignoring this with such intensity that it doesn’t even show up in his narration. But he also watches the way Miles brushes his bangs from his eyes, so he’s not much better.

And thinking about it now this scene really went on for too long about gel pens hahaha... 

“Objection!” Phoenix declared. “I used the blue one to write you letters at first.”

“Ah, of course you did. I never got any of those… How many did you send?”

“I don’t even want to know…”

Edgeworth hummed and looked off into the distance, where Gumshoe was demonstrating how to cast a line. “Your level of dedication is something else,” he said, as if to himself.

“Well, yeah. You were my only non-Larry friend. You were…” Phoenix swallowed. “You were important to me, you know? You saved me.”

“You keep bringing that up. You’ve more than returned the favor, you know that, don’t you?”

“I’m inclined to disagree.”

I don’t have a consistent headcanon about whether Miles got or read the letters, in this fic presumably von Karma intercepted them and got rid of them... and then presumably Miles ignored any that were sent to him as an adult.

Also these two are going to have ridiculous arguments about who saved who until they’re on their deathbeds, I’m sure.

Edgeworth turned back towards him as if to retort, but stopped halfway, his eyes widening slightly as he stared at Phoenix.

“... Something on my face?” Phoenix asked, trying to quell the feeling of some sort of anxiety that bubbled up when Edgeworth stared at him like that.

insert mikacherryblossomart.png

Miles turns away for one second and then suddenly oh no he’s even more gorgeous now

Edgeworth was silent for some time. Then, very softly, he said, “You have cherry blossom petals in your hair.”

“What? Do I?” He reached a hand up to brush them out, but Edgeworth stopped him by grabbing his wrist, freezing Phoenix.

“With your hair, you’ll never get them out like that.” With his spare hand, Edgeworth began to pick each individual petal from his hair. “You look so — silly, Wright.”

Partially a callback to the beginning of chapter 3, when they were kids:

“Y-Your hair,” Miles managed to say through stifled laughter. “One of the flowers fell into it.”

Phoenix hands shot up into his hair. “Really?”

“You look so silly, Phoenix.” When Phoenix failed to find the flower, Miles reached out. “Here, let me.” 

 Phoenix remained still as Miles reached up to the top of his head and picked the flower out of his hair. “Your hair’s really soft,” Miles said quietly, before handing it over to Phoenix. “Here you go.”

because Miles apparently remembered that it was difficult for Phoenix to get the petals from his hair the first time, and also, wanted an excuse to touch Phoenix’s hair again.

But also the dialogue and interactions are ONCE AGAIN INSPIRED BY MIKA based on this reply to my reply to the art on twitter. look at that you can go and retweet the art on twitter too!

Overall this gives us an accurate Thoughts to Speech translator for Miles:

Miles: You have cherry blossom petals in your hair and it is going to kill me.

Phoenix: What? Do I?

Miles: No, wait, don’t brush them out, I want to touch your hair because it is soft and this is the perfect excuse. You look so captivating.

if Miles had said that out loud though it would probably have killed both of them.

Phoenix let out an awkward, low laugh, starting somewhere deep within his chest. “R-Really.”

“Mhm.”

Edgeworth’s eyes locked with Phoenix’s, and time seemed to freeze. There was a sudden thrum of tension in the air, as if Phoenix were in a play and he’d suddenly forgotten his lines, forgotten he was supposed to be in a play at all.

(chanting) “kiss kiss kiSS KISS KISS --”

But before either of them could break the sudden spell over them, a fishing hook whirred through the air, and —

“Ack, I — I think I got it stuck!”

but of course that needs to be interrupted at the worst possible time because this is fanfiction and this is how things work!

“In the tree?! How did you even manage to get it that far?”

“Don’t worry about it, Maggey, I can climb up the tree and get it unstuck, just hang on —”

“No, no, if I just give it a big yank—”

“Maggey—!”

I broke the first rule of writing dialogue because I can’t really remember who’s supposed to be saying what. I think that Maya had a few lines here and then I didn’t change them since there were no dialogue tags...

Pretty much -- Maggey with her eternal luck tried to fish but released the line too early as she was swinging back so the line went back and got caught in the tree branches directly above Phoenix and Miles.

I think the dialogue progression goes Maggey -> Originally Maya but now either Larry or Franziska -> Gumshoe -> Maggey -> everyone going MAGGEY NO!!!

I remember going fishing with my grandpa once a long time ago and either I or my brother did get the fishing line stuck in a tree. would not recommend.

The branch above Phoenix and Edgeworth jostled, and pink petals burst all around them, fluttering down and catching in their hair and on their clothes. One petal even fell behind Edgeworth’s glasses.

They stared at each other for a moment, stunned, Edgeworth’s hand still loosely wrapped around Phoenix’s wrist, as Maggey shouted apologies from the distance.

There are no cherry blossom trees where I live so I have no idea if we’re even in the right season for this or if cherry blossom trees even behave this way - but I’m basing it off of... you know when it’s that point in fall where if you shake a tree branch leaves will just scatter everywhere? That. 

Also RIP to the other four who were just having a grand old time fishing and then turn around seeing these two sitting really close to each other almost holding hands about two seconds away from a kiss... which they’d just interrupted...

And then — the most incredible thing happened, and Edgeworth began to laugh.

Phoenix could have catalogued all the laughs he heard from Edgeworth: the usual, short laughs often mistaken for a scoff by those who didn’t know him as well as Phoenix did; the triumphant, smug, courtroom laughs when he thought he had Phoenix cornered; to the quiet, restrained ones in private that were more of a hum than anything else. This laugh was new.

This was a full-on fit of laughter bubbling deep in his chest and spilling from his mouth, which Edgeworth quickly covered with his free hand, with the additional bonus of covering his reddening face. It wasn’t something hidden or faked or triumphant, it was genuine, and open, and Phoenix could swear it was one of the most beautiful sounds he ever heard.

Miles here is going through an emotional rollercoaster having been two seconds away from finally kissing the love of his life only to be interrupted at the worst possible time, which is just so on brand for the two of them that he can’t help but start laughing hysterically. Plus Phoenix probably looks absolutely shocked suddenly covered in petals, which doesn’t help.

Then the next two paragraphs are brought on by Phoenix Pining and also me wanting Miles Edgeworth to laugh more... 

From my notes for this scene:

They stare at each other for a moment and laugh, and Miles’ laugh just utterly captivates Phoenix and makes him fall so completely in love immediately and oh no he is screwed he is utterly screwed.

So pretty much I had to encapsulate the “falling so completely in love immediately” part which I decided to do by focusing on Miles laughing. I wanted to draw a lot of attention to that which is why there are so many paragraphs dedicated to Miles laughing and Phoenix thinking about Miles laughing.

Trucy’s laughter always made the world feel a little brighter, and made Phoenix feel stronger. Edgeworth’s laugh did the opposite; it dislodged something inside of him, it weakened him, it made the whole world go soft and fuzzy around him. Instead of illuminating all the good in the world, it turned Phoenix’s world into one person.

More focus on Miles’ laughter but also... kind of drawing attention to Phoenix’s reaction to this being different from his reaction to other people he cares about laughing? Because feeling warm and happy when seeing someone you care about non-romantically laugh is normal, but then I wanted to make it clear that this is a different sort of feeling for Phoenix. 

Also Phoenix has to realize this is a different sort of feeling for him because otherwise he could brush it off like he’s probably dismissed all of his romantic feelings throughout the years as “oh I’m just glad my friend is happy, and I rarely ever hear Edgeworth laugh so him being relaxed enough to laugh like that makes me feel happy too,” but it’s not what he’d expect if he just sees Miles as a friend. And it’s described as weakening in the paragraph because right now the subject of his romantic feelings for Miles isn’t something that Phoenix can fully or easily accept right now (as chapter 5 would indicate).

Edgeworth’s fit of laughter subsided, and he shifted his hand so he could look at Phoenix again, the hints of a shy grin peeking out between his fingers, his hair and his shirt and his face adorned with a sweet, gentle pink. It was like looking at an entirely different person — or, no, the same person, but with all armor off, all guards lowered.

Miles is very embarrassed right now but kind of... in a good way...? Like again, almost kissed the love of his life then rudely interrupted at the last possible moment, plus Phoenix’s whole reaction to the thing gave Miles the impression that Phoenix wanted to kiss him as well, so he’s feeling a little giddy. Plus he was just laughing a lot when he normally doesn’t do that. Overall he’s not used to expressing his emotions so he’s embarrassed and a little shy about it...

The part about Miles’ “hair and shirt and face adorned with a sweet, gentle pink” refers to both the cherry blossom petals (in his hair and clinging to his shirt and a bit on his face) and also him blushing quite a bit.

It all feels a little out of character honestly haha because Miles isn’t really the type to be blushing hardcore like this and be a little shy, buuut in this case I let myself get away with it because he’s dealing with romantic feelings he hasn’t ever dealt with at this level before, and it’s also out of character just enough to really strike Phoenix in the heart. You can just imagine him staring at Miles with the most lovestruck expression on his face because he hasn’t seen this side of Miles before and he loves it.

Phoenix’s heart stuttered in his chest, and may have stopped entirely.

He was screwed.

He was completely and utterly screwed.

And even Phoenix can’t deny that he’s super in love at this point. 

I think I wrote this part, changed the words “screwed” to “doomed” right before posting, and then switched it back again for no particular reason. The Vibe just felt a little off but oh well.

Then the next chapter skips over the rest of this picnic but honestly Phoenix’s brain skipped over the rest of this picnic as well. Imagine the two of them just kind of standing around in a lovestruck daze for a while. I think Franziska had to physically drag Miles out of there. no one knows how Phoenix got home, not even Phoenix and least of all me!

But thank you Mika for requesting this!! And for drawing such incredible art for me to base the chapter around haha!!!

[hotel-japanifornia]

Like, I love Miles Edgeworth, but he's overshadowing literally everyone else. Like he's not overrated since he actual holds up to his love, but damn, there are so many fics on him and his story from the og trilogy only. Miles has grown up beyond it and I love him for it since it makes him three dimensional.

Ok, you wanna know what greatly amuses me about you mentioning how people only pay attention to him and his story from the og trilogy only?

Edgeworth plays an important role in 4 of the 5 cases in the original game (3 of 4 if you really hate RFTA and want to exclude it from your mind. Feel free to do so but you’ll be hella frustrated when you play AJ. Unless you liked Ema.)

He only appears in 1 of the four cases in JFA and is mentioned in 2 and cameos in 1. If you don’t count the cameo, which I do, that only adds up to 1 case. Comparatively a small role, but he has a big impact on Franziska’s motivations and is the reason she wants to crush Phoenix so badly. Points to Takumi for not doing a generic “avenge my father” plot. Respect him (and Franziska) for that. He does play an extremely important role in the one case he appears in, so don’t think I’m trying to downplay him or anything.

Edgeworth is majorly absent in the third game. He prosecutes in only one case and that’s his annoying 20 year old self. He comes back in the fifth case to fill in for the defense and does play a hand in Iris and Dahlia switching places. Had it not been for that earthquake, he wouldn’t have freaked out and lost sight of Iris in the first place. He doesn’t do a whole lot else after that though. 

I say this because if you think about it, Edgeworth is only in 7 of the original 14 cases if you count physical appearances only (6 out of 13 in the OG trilogy). While I won’t argue that Edgeworth isn’t important in the cases he’s in because he is totally, I will argue that it does feel odd how the focus is on him so much of the time.

And the thing is, I can see how people would argue how Edgeworth is the central character in the first game. Edgeworth is the character we see grow throughout the course of the game. We learn the most about him than any other character and the events of the game revolve around him (Turnabout Goodbyes, the DL-6 incident, etc) more than other characters besides Maya who shares a connection with him as they both lost parents to the DL-6 incident (how have those two not had more interactions, honestly?) and loses her sister in the second case.

I would argue however, that Edgeworth isn’t the character at the center of the second game although we do see him mentioned in conversations by Franziska and Phoenix. I don’t know why people will acknowledge his “Miles Edgeworth chooses death” note but absolutely refuse to acknowledge how awful of a move that was. The reason being is that it was cryptically worded and anybody reading it would think he killed himself which Franziska and Phoenix did, while Gumshoe was the only one who knew what really happened. I know what the note actually meant (i.e. the death of the prosecutor Edgeworth once was) but still, it was poorly worded. 

In actuality, Phoenix is the protagonist and central character of the second game. He’s the one who goes through the most growth as we see him face a huge moral dilemma in the fourth case where he has to choose between saving his friend or sending a truly guilty man to prison. It’s absolutely interesting to see him in conflict with the character he was up to that point (someone who believed his client was genuinely innocent) and it’s something I think needs to happen more often. By that I mean, defending truly guilty defendants. While I don’t think they should be like Matt Engarde necessarily, it would be interesting to see more truly guilty defendants. (I know there’s one in DGS but not everyone has played that one so I won’t spoil.)

As for the third game, it’s pretty obvious who the main protagonist in that game is. It’s the Fey Clan obviously. Specifically, we learn more about Mia Fey, Phoenix’s mentor, through getting to play as her during the tutorial case and the other tutorial case both of which are short but help us get to know Phoenix’s wise and calm mentor. We see her during her first two cases and even get to witness her taking down Dahlia Hawthorne in an amazingly cool manner (by asking her to prove her innocence by taking Phoenix’s cold medicine which she poisoned). We also see her during her first case which was mentioned in Turnabout Memories and was said to traumatize her so badly that she felt like she was never going to step into court again. Since her opponent, Bratworth, had never lost a case before Turnabout Sisters, we know that the case won’t end well. But even so, it’s what actually happens that makes the case so gutwrenching. Seeing Terry Fawles kill himself on the stand to protect his former girlfriend who was the true killer makes for a saddening end. Regardless of what you think of him as a character, seeing Mia so distraught over not being able to prevent Fawles’ death tugs at your heartstrings. 

What’s even worse is that six months later, she loses her boyfriend when he gets poisoned by Dahlia. Which does raise an interesting question: did she see the case against Wright and take it because she saw Dahlia mentioned in the case files and thought she might be connected to it? It’s likely, seeing as she brought the article talking about Diego’s poisoning with her but who knows? Either way, seeing her so determined to take Dahlia down that she’s willing to have her badge revoked is sincerely cool to watch.

And even in the present day case that Dahlia appears in, Bridge to the Turnabout, Mia doesn’t stop being rivals with Dahlia. When Maya channels Mia to ask her what she should do after Dahlia attacks her, Mia advises her to lock herself up in the Sacred Cavern in the Inner Temple and channel Dahlia in order to protect herself. It’s an extremely risky move on Mia’s part and had Dahlia not been so stubborn in seeing Maya’s corpse for herself without considering that she might be channeling her, Maya could have died of hypothermia in there (which isn’t something I had considered until the last year or so). Still, it works out in the end and Iris and Dahlia-in-Maya’s-body switch places during the second investigation period. Mia then proceeds to exorcise Dahlia out of Maya’s body with Phoenix’s help:

Dahlia: …Grr…Mmm…Nnnn… Grrr… Ahh! M… M… Mia F… F… Fey Mia Fey! Mia Fey! MIA FEEEEY! You… You… spinster!! I was supposed to kill Maya Fey like I swore I would! And if only you had gotten this spiky-haired jerk the guilty verdict… …I wouldn’t have been hanged to death!

Mia: …… True.

Dahlia: …!

Mia: But I think you finally understand, Dahlia Hawthorne. …You will never defeat me.

Dahlia: Wh-What…!? What did you say!?

Mia: Whether you’re alive, dead, or somewhere in between, you will never defeat me. As long as I’m around, you’re destined to lose for all of eternity!

Dahlia: Grrr… Grrrr… Grrrrr…

Phoenix: …I remember what you said earlier in the trial. You said there was no way we could punish you… …because you were already dead.

Dahlia: What about it!?

Phoenix: Then you said… “Even when the body dies, the spirit, the ego, it lives on… forever.”

Mia: …That’s very true, Dahlia. And that’s exactly the punishment you’ll never be able to escape from.

Dahlia: …!

Mia: For all of eternity, you’ll have to remain as Dahlia Hawthorne. A miserable, pathetic, weak creature who can never win at anything… And for you, there is no escape from that. No hope of freedom. Since the day you were executed… …the narrow bridge that once stretched out in front of you has burnt to a crisp!

This causes Dahlia to freak out and pop out of Maya’s body with a extremely loud scream. It’s extremely chilling and awesome at the same time. 

One thing that stands out though, is that defeating Dahlia never stops being Mia’s personal victory as Godot mentions later on.

Godot: The woman who had spiked my scalding hot coffee… Dahlia Hawthorne! Ha…! Good ol’ Mia. She didn’t let me down. She got her revenge before she checked out. In the end… There wasn’t anyone waiting for me when I woke up.

In a way, the way that Mia Fey and Diego Armando go about taking revenge against Dahlia serves an interesting contrast to each other. Mia, although angry at Dahlia for sure, never let her anger consume her when trying to take her revenge on Dahlia. The only thing that Mia sought out to do was to make sure that she received justice for her crimes and upon finally getting Dahlia convicted of murder, moved on with her life. Mia even took Phoenix under her wing, despite his past connection to Dahlia. Even though he really had nothing to do with her crimes and even was supposed to be one of her victims, you can’t help but admire her for that.

On the other hand, Diego Armando never let his hatred of Dahlia Hawthorne go. Even after waking up from his coma and realizing that Mia had gotten revenge for him and got her sentenced to death. He was so blinded by hatred that upon encountering her at the Inner Temple Garden, he stabbed her with the cane sword, killing Misty Fey in the process. And unlike Mia, Diego hated Phoenix and even blamed him for Mia’s death. There’s also a line that suggests that he knew that Phoenix was the one that inadvertently helped Dahlia hide the bottle necklace containing the poison:

Godot: …… I never liked you. Six years ago… …you helped the woman who put me to sleep by hiding her bottle of poison. 

It’s an interesting line, indeed, and implies that Diego’s hatred of Phoenix went beyond Mia’s murder. Because Phoenix “hid” the bottle of poison, Dahlia was never able to be caught for Diego’s poisoning and thus escaped justice. In summary, Mia was able to move on with her life after Dahlia got caught while Diego wasn’t which ended up being his downfall.

I can also see how some people might make a case for Maya going through development of her own throughout Trials and Tribulations. During the second and third case, we see her express doubts about her own abilities as a spirit medium and it’s implied that she’s still shaken up by the murder in Kurain Village to the point that she hasn’t even returned to the village in a while:

Maya: Well, I’m kind of taking a break… I’m having a bit of trouble right now, you know?

Phoenix: (Last year’s incident must still be on her mind… I haven’t seen Maya train at all since then. I think Mia said it’s because Maya’s “at a loss these days”…)

It’s an interesting line, and is definitely one that people seem to overlook while playing through the game. Despite her lack of training however, Maya is still able to channel Mia during the last portion of the Stolen Turnabout. The conversation the two of them have reveals that Maya is going through a dilemma currently.

Mia: I’m just joking, Phoenix. Don’t take everything so seriously. But on the other hand, Maya… She seems kind of lost these days.

Phoenix: You mean about becoming the Master of the Kurain Channeling School?

Mia: Becoming the Master… means saying goodbye to our mother.

Phoenix: You mean Misty Fey…?

Mia: …Watch over her, will you Phoenix?

One thing I find interesting though, is that Maya’s dilemma about becoming the Master isn’t overly prevalent in dialogue. Sure it’s a part of what she goes through over the course of the game but it doesn’t take a huge focus. It’s certainly unique. Here’s one such example in Recipe for Turnabout 

Armstrong: You ‘ave la perfect face for a waitress, you know.

Maya: Um, thanks. I guess if things don’t work out someday, then maybe I’ll be back.

Phoenix: (What things? Is she talking about her being a spirit medium…?)

I honestly appreciate it for it’s subtlety; little character moments like this one, is what adds to the replay value of the games. True, you can just breeze through them, but taking the time to present random things to people can also reveal tons of interesting dialogue that can reveal more about the characters than if you were to do a regular playthrough and do what you need to do to progress further through the case.

All of this culminates in the last case when Maya goes to Hazakura Temple with Pearl and Phoenix to do some training which as mentioned before, she hasn’t really done much of since the Kurain Channeling incident. And unfortunately for her, it ends in disaster with her nearly being murdered by the ghost of her cousin, Dahlia and also witnessing Godot stab the spirit to death which kills her mother in the process.

When we first see Maya in the last trial portion of Bridge to the Turnabout, she’s more traumatized than we’ve ever seen her. And through this line, we get to see how she feels about the Kurain Channeling Technique in her current situation:

Maya: … I… I’m frightened. The Fey clan… I don’t want any more to do with it.

Now, let’s think about what this line means. Maya has dealt with a horrible amount of tragedy in her young life due to her heritage. She lost her mother, her sister left the village partly because she didn’t want to feud with Maya over the title of Master; her aunt plotted to have her convicted for murder and later tried to murder her through her beloved cousin, Pearl; and the one time that she decides to start training again, another tragedy occurs. Her mother was killed right in front of her by a man who was blinded by hatred towards the spirit possessing her body. It’s hard not to see why Maya would not want anything to do with her heritage after all the grief it caused her, so then, why does Maya decide to inherit the title of Master anyway?

Well, here’s the deal: The Fey Clan is extremely screwed up and has caused many of its members grief over the past two years. It’s no secret that the branch family has plotted against the main family before and has done so throughout its history:

Bikini: There is only one heir to the title of “Master” at any time, and it’s usually the eldest. That child becomes the new Master of Kurain, and her daughters, the main family. All other mediums become branch family members, with no hope of controlling the clan. That’s why nothing has changed throughout the history of the clan… Branch families always have and always will plot to erase those of the main family line.

However, Pearl doesn’t hold any sort of resentment towards Maya despite her being the heir to the title of Master. In fact, Pearl adores Maya and vice versa. The only reason she ever went with Morgan’s plan was because she thought by “It’s for the good of the Fey Clan” that her mother meant that her plan would benefit Maya and Pearl both. Maya similarly doesn’t hold any resentment towards Pearl  when she tries to blame herself for the death of Maya’s mother.

If you think about it, the fact that Maya stays and decides to become Master could also considered to be not only a result of her strength but a result of her deciding to fix the screwed up legacy of the Fey clan. As two of the people hurt most by the rivalry between the main family and the branch family, Maya and Pearl could work together to fix their family’s screwed up background and restore the Fey clan to its former glory. That’s the way I see it anyway.

Sorry for my long rant there, the Fey clan is very interesting to me. Honestly though, I’d argue that Edgeworth is more like a tritagonist. He’s extremely important at first but he becomes relatively less important over the course of the trilogy to the point that he’s only ever in one case in his present day form in the last part.

Maya is more or less the deutragonist of the games. She’s in 10 of the 14 cases in the trilogy and 6 of those cases (1-2, 1-4, 2-2, 2-4, 3-2, and 3-5) have her involved majorly in the plot whether it be her being accused of murder, dealing with her and her family history, or kidnapped (in which we get to control her too!). While she isn’t involved in the plots of 1-3 or 2-3 directly, she is the person who convinces Phoenix to take both cases and she even helps Phoenix out in the latter by raising the question of where Max’s bust is located which helps him catch Acro as the true murderer.

However, despite Maya’s overall importance to the trilogy, what stops her from being the main protagonist like Phoenix is that we don’t get to go into her head very often. We see Phoenix react to the situations around him, we get to see his thoughts while dealing with crazy witnesses and when he’s having a difficult time trying to prove something in court. Through this, we get to know Phoenix and in a sense, feel like we can connect with him. Even Edgeworth gets to be played during the first investigation and trial day of Bridge to the Turnabout where like Phoenix, we get to go inside his head and see how he thinks and how he feels about what’s going on around him.

With Maya, the time that we do get to control her in 2-4 is extremely short and doesn’t exactly allow us to get into her head. That’s not a point against her however as we do see her react to what’s going on when we aren’t in control of her. It makes sense that it would be extremely short though, as Maya is currently kidnapped when we do control her and the areas you can have her go aren’t very numerous. 

Still as much as I argue that Phoenix fits the central character and protagonist mold more than Edgeworth and Maya do, I believe that all three characters are important in their own unique ways.

[migleefulmoments]

Wait, is awesome-fanfictionada Abby's new alias? The posts have the same pompous air to them and the "tween daughter" feels like a fake contrived insertion to make the person sound more woke and in touch with younger people. I mean, how many times can a person say "tween daughter"? Are they trying to prove something? This journal might've been around for a bit but it's certainly become highly active and utilizing all cc-arsenal smoothly at a questionable time when Abby's "gone". Just saying...

Ya know...I was thinking the same thought about “tween daughter” today but I don’t think it’s Abby. She knows too much which feels really weird but she does seem to be going through the masterposts as she’s reposting all sorts of old posts. She has asked some good questions and noticed some of the issues we notice but she accepts their “FACT” answers and is already turning everything into confirmation bias after having a blog for 6 weeks.  It’s weird becuase Abby rose up right as Michelle left and this is happening again but Abby never had the patience or tolerance for anything but the “Darren is perfect”, “Mia is evil” storyline. In this post, you can see that awesome noticed that Chris keeps making snarky comments about Klaine- Abby was never willing to see the interview as anything but a love letter to Klaine.   (Why in the hell did Chrisdare split A/non?) In the second ask below Awesome puts Chris in a higher pedestal than Darren and Abby NEVER did that.But hey, it’s all weird, what does everything else think?  

Anonymous asked:What happened with Mia, why everyone hates her? I'm new at this :

chrisdarebashfulsmiles answered: A/non this is a long story. A lot of us tried to ignore her as much as possible for years. You of course already know that she’s a beard ( honestly not an opinion but a fact proven by a lot of things, public and not - let’s talk about her living with her real bf “and D” for example) and this wouldn’t have been a problem if she wasn’t the daughter of a powerful couple and she was kind enough to truly love other people than herself. Because in that case she would have been a perfect beard and a wonderful friend for D. But unfortunately for D mostly the reality is way different.I can say to you, while suggesting to keep an eye for some posts about her here, that we have public video and post reporting how much awful she could be with D and his fans. Or we wanna talk also about her fans? With the excuse of going full bearding following D everywhere every time ( obviously she talked about grueling work and heavy travel schedule in 2015) she and his group stole the money asked with a fundraising for a new video. And don’t forget: She’s rich AF. Our despising is mostly related to the shit she does to D, tho. 

leka-1998 It’s been 2 years since they forced the encagement. Almost 1 year since the sham mockery and not even 1 month since everyone and their mother included it in their 2019 recap. And would you look at what’s happening, there are still people coming here wondering if something’s wrong.Archives here are a good place to start. Let me just say one thing. She’s mocked Cor/y’s death because an interview had to be rescheduled and she was not happy about it. She’s an all around bad person and the complete opposite of what D stands for.

awesome-fanfictionada On this topic - M - do you have any insight on the k/laine e/xplained interview? I always had an “off” feeling whenever watching it and now I got to know M directed it?! I find it a lot off-putting, what with D’s exaggerated laughing (trying to hard?) and the weird mood changes (like after D says they’re buddies - C says they hate each other - D repeats it and his face suddenly falls a little) or C who presents us with a string of snarky remarks on both k/laine and the fans who wish they could take a picture together! But would it not be kind of normal to? And to reconnect with the other post about W - if they really did want to stop people talking about D and C being together, why not have the two couples spend time together? Would have been the simplest thing but still, no. Like last Halloween for example - If it wasn’t that those pictures almost amount to a “proof” of c/hillaren instead :) Well, I’m slowly reading all your posts from the beginning of time. Sorry for asking or stating obvious things! , 

Anonymous asked: I love Cc, but I just can’t imagine C agreeing with all this and if he did, my heart still hurts for him.

cassie1022 answered: Nonnie, you’re more than entitled to your opinion. I, respectfully, disagree. C is not a victim in all of this. He made a conscious and willing decision to stand with D. He’s just as culpable in all of this as D is and he’s tried to show that on more than one occasion. I’m not heartbroken for C and I don’t think he would want us to be. At the end of the day, he has a love most people only dream about. Many people perceive C as being the more fragile of the two, and I think that’s a grave mistake. C’s the glue that holds them together. He’s always had to fend for himself and the world wasn’t always kind to him. D grew up in this seemingly perfect little world where he trusted everyone and thought people were mostly good and that’s part of why he’s in this situation.

flowersintheattic254 You only have to watch the impact theory interview to see what drives C. C is strong and he stands up for those who are marginalized. C is tough and stronger than people give home credit for and he’s loyal too.

awesome-fanfictionada I agree with the loyal and strong very much - the impact theory interview is that where he says he’s not a victim anymore and he doesn’t let people hurt him? Cause I loved that interview. The thing that gets me with C is that I perceive him as honest all the way through, which is weird cause I normally distrust people - but in all these years after G/lee ended he has been loyal and has never betrayed or even directly talked about D (for what I know). The same cannot be said about D, whose behavior always puzzled me even before I knew about cc!

[artboitrash]

His Bloody Rose (Stefano Valentini fanfiction) Chapter 27 - Parting Ways

I burst through the doors of the theater. "Stefano!" I yelled out as I tried to catch my breath.

I heard gunshots somewhere in the building. I gasped aloud, sprinting forward. I continued to run to him, feeling there was nothing left for me to do.

I ran up the stairs, my lungs completely protesting against me. I kept pushing myself forward. I needed to find him.

I held out the hope I could save him. Why I wanted to even now was escaping me. I couldn't rationally explain it, after he had begun to manipulate me and cut me into pieces, and essentially left me to die... I still wanted to save him. At least save him from himself.

I ran through the door that lead to the auditorium. I gasped aloud, seeing Sebastian standing in the open isle, pointing a gun at Stefano.

Stefano was standing on the stage, lights trained on him. He was admiring the people in the seats, their instance of death frozen as soon as their heads had been destroyed, allowing large fountains of blood to spurt from their necks.

His eye was drawn to me as I shoved the door open. An angered look on his face for being interrupted appeared, then shifted away, back to Sebastian again. He looked shocked as his eye darted back to me, completely surprised to see me. A crooked smile crossed his face as he took in the sight of me.

I stared at him, and suddenly the landscape changed around us as he lifted his arm. We were in a hallway of his world. His smile widened as he gestured to me.

"My bella, you have returned to me..."

I took a hesitant step forward. Then I broke into a run again, renewed energy surging through me. My lungs felt like I was swallowing ice and daggers as I panted. I ached for my arms to wrap around him.

I crashed into his chest, holding him close. The force of the impact made him stumble back a little, but he regained his balance quickly, and I felt his hand rest on my shoulder. His warmth, cologne, and presence washed over me. I hid my face in his suit, pressing my face into his scarf as I felt his fingers thread through my hair. I sobbed into his chest as my lungs protested, grasping onto him as I felt relief now that he was here. I'd just barely come in time.

After a moment, I pulled away, backing up a few paces. His eye looked over me, and I saw it lingering on my stomach. There was a smile across his face, and I could see something had changed since he had left me. He had changed further, a more cruel and unkind demeanor had set in.

"So, why did you come back to me?"

My heart pounded in my throat, watching his eyes glimmer with their normal cruelty, contrasted by the sweetness in his smile. It was a sweetness I knew wasn't real, it wasn't possible for him to empathize or feel anything close to love. But damn him and his smile; I could feel it work it's way into my veins and set fire to them. I could feel my skin melt in my cheeks as the blood flared in them and my heart began to beat faster.

"I... You couldn't keep me away if you tried, Stefano."

I looked away as I heard him begin to step closer. I heard his chuckle ring out as he closed the distance between us. His hands were warm as they wrapped around my back; tense, but gentle. At any moment, I knew the circumstance could turn poor, he could and would hurt me if he chose.

"Oh, Cara mia. . ." he murmured as his breath rolled over my ear. "Who said I wanted to keep you away?"

I grabbed him back, holding him to me. "I knew you were about to do something stupid. I knew you were going to face off against that man without... Without actually thinking about it."

"Mm-hmm... And you think it isn't a good idea to kill him?"

"No. No, especially not right now."

He withdrew from my arms. "Oh, is there a right time to cause deaths? A golden hour to capture the proper lighting?"

I shook off his sarcasm, vigorously shaking my head. "No, please listen to me."

I reached for him. He jerked away at first, and I saw him questioning it in his own mind. His face shifted to that of anger, but then he froze as one of confusion branched across it. I grabbed his gloved hand, holding onto it tightly.

"Please, please... Listen to me. You aren't thinking straight. You haven't been thinking straight since you found that girl. No, you haven't been yourself since Union began breaking apart."

I watched his eyebrow furrow a little bit. "How so?"

"You've become uncontrolled... You haven't been creating your work the way you used to. You've been so caught up in scaring the little girl and fighting her father. You've been so busy trying to kill so many people, you haven't created any of the work you care most about."

"I've been creating my art, bella. That is the room we were just in."

"No! You aren't creating the works you used to. You're killing just to kill... You're not the Stefano I fell in love with! You've completely changed, and I..."

He flinched, his body jerking violently away from me. His hand was still in my grasp, but he had pulled away as though to get away from what I've said.

"You're too focused on the concept and not portraying your work the way you love."

"And what is the way I love?" his voice turned darker, and a glazed look overcame his eye. It was like he was talking to someone else now, like he was no longer seeing me.

I let go of his hand. I moved forward and grasped his face, pulling him down to me to look him directly in the eye. He wasn't listening to what I was saying about himself, so I tried my last tactic.

"P-please..." I whispered, my voice beginning to tremble. "Please, you can't take that little girl from her dad."

"Why?"

"B-because... It's not fair, it's not... Fair..." my hand drifted to my stomach.

He leaned down, pressing his lips against my ear. "Say it, my muse."

"Y-you can't take that girl from her father. You... of all people, you can't keep them apart. You can't try to fight him in this state, please, it's not fair."

"And why is that?"

"I... I-I..." My voice cracked. I slid my other hand over my stomach. I held my lower belly despite that I couldn't see what I now knew what was there.

"My muse..."

"I'm pregnant..." I whimpered, reaching for him and holding onto his jacket, almost collapsing. "I'm... I'm pregnant... You and I... Before coming to Union, I was pregnant. I don't know how it's not showing, but I haven't been experiencing my period all this time. I began to suspect it before I came here, so I kept trying to find you, I kept trying to get the police to listen that you were missing. I tried to find you because I love you, and I wanted to tell you before it's too late that you're the father of my child... I tried not to think about it, I tried to reason it away, I didn't want to think about it, but, I... b-but..."

"I know, my lovely muse..." He helped me to my knees, to keep me from collapsing. His eye shifted, and came back into focus on me. "... I was shown it... Before you came through those doors, I saw you were pregnant, someone showed it to me as they put me in of my worst nightmares."

I nodded, holding onto him tighter. "I don't know why I'm here, I don't know how... I... I just want you safe, please... S-stay..."

"I will."

I looked up at him. He smiled gently, and leaned down, placing his face in my neck. For the first time in several months, I finally recognized the Stefano coming back to speak with me. His face relaxed, and a tender look in his eye developing as it took in the rest of my face.

"My Rose..."

A shiver raced up my spine, making me turn away.

"I knew I wasn't acting right when I went through that nightmare all over again... But you were there, almost exactly as I had seen you now, but... You were carrying my child."

He pulled me closer, digging his face into my shoulder. I tucked my face against his neck, just trying to hold him closer than was physically possible. He was stronger in his own mind now, he was going to be safe.

"But... I wasn't really aware of how I was acting, no matter how much I was faced with it... I... I gave up the memory of you... I couldn't even remember your name for so, so long..."

I felt him shift, pressing his lips into my neck. I trembled quietly.

"I believe... My power... Has been corrupting me, my jewel."

I felt him physically grimace at that nickname. He vaguely shook his head, clearing out that idea.

"Whatever these gifts are, they cannot be safe for anyone. Not even myself, and I thought I would be able to handle them even as they grew..."

"Can you give them up?"

"... No, I think... I'm sure it would kill me."

I pulled away, looking into his eye. I held my breath, then leaned forward. I kissed him, the first time I was able to in a long time. His fingers twitched against my skin, and he kissed me back, pulling me against his frame.

"Perhaps..." he hummed aloud as he thought. "The only way for us to leave together... Is if I give up my powers along with my life."

I jerked away for a moment. "No!"

He laughed, and I finally noticed the dark circles situated under his eyes. How long had it been since he last slept?

"I do not mean that I would physically throw my life away. I was hoping I would be able to get to the point I do not need to worry about my powers anymore."

"No. I won't allow it."

He laughed quietly. "You know there would be no way for you to stop me, my dear. But, for now, I will listen."

He pressed his lips to mine, making me gasp aloud. His tongue touched mine, slicking against it and traversing my mouth. He held me to him tightly, and it felt like he thought it was something final.

"I never said it, my dear. I never could think it without panicking and worrying..." Stefano leaned forward and pressed his lips against my ear again, a quiet croaking in the back of his throat.. "But... I love you. I love you, Rose..."

I turned and kissed him, feeling him push me to the floor. I held him tightly, feeling his chest press into mine. When he was done kissing me, he sighed as he pulled away from me.

"I must leave you, my dear. I cannot risk harming you when it begins to corrupt me again."

"I don't want you to go..."

He sighed again through his nose. "That man will kill me regardless. He will come looking for us, even if I turn that girl over to him."

His hand slid over my stomach, gently caressing and petting it.

"Please... My dear love, my inspiration... My muse..."

He leaned down, pressing his face against my stomach. He pushed the side of his head as he turned it, resting against it. I reached down, grasping onto his shoulder, trying to push him to me and force him to stay here.

"If the only way to rid myself of this feeling, of my own power... Is to pass away... The only way to protect you, and this new one... Then I'm afraid I must leave you."

I shook my head. "No, we can... We can figure this out."

"No..." He raised his head slightly, trying to look up into my eyes from this angle. "You know, my love. You know that I do not have a choice anymore. I have dug myself a hole, and I must lie in it."

He sat up above me, and I pulled him to me. He kept a hand against my belly, supporting himself by his elbow by my neck.

"My most wonderful muse... You are so beautiful... I never wanted to bring you harm once I found you again. I must choose this path myself."

He lay down on me slightly. His lips met mine gently, feeling the most love waving off him and rushing over me. I pulled him tightly to me, trying to raise my legs over his hips. I wanted to do anything, anything to keep him with me, but he kept lowering my legs back to the ground.

"You are not my toy..." he whispered as he pulled away, lips brushing against mine as he spoke. "You are not something just here for my pleasure. You are not something for me to use, bella. But... you are the person I love."

I tried to laugh quietly. "You feel love now, when it's too late."

He smiled, but it seemed to droop slightly. His eye closed, and he tucked his head against my collarbone. I felt his hands moving up my skirt, and I thought he had changed his mind.

He lifted the skirt just to my waist, and I held onto his shoulders, trying to ready myself for making love here. He slid off his gloves and set them down by my head. He kissed my collarbone gently, his warm, gentle hands sliding onto my flat belly.

"I'm sure, where ever you wake up, you will be able to see them. I wish you would be able to stay with me, and I wish I could say I believed we both would be able to leave together... But, if this is our last moment together... Just promise me one last thing."

"A-anything..." I whimpered, begging internally this wasn't goodbye. "I'll do anything."

"I know you would..." He lifted his head, and his lips pressed into mine. His eye became glazed over, and I saw him try to blink it away. "One last thing, my beauty. One last promise... Take care of our little one. Take care of our baby, and give them as much love, dedication, and compassion you have given me."

I nodded furiously, intertwining his hair in my fingers. He obliged as I pulled him into me for more kisses. "I promise... I promise..."

"Good girl." he laughed quietly.

He sat off of me, helping me sit up. I felt tears streaming down my face, refusing to let him say goodbye.

"My love, I'm so sorry." A tight sound appeared in his voice, and I could almost visibly watched as my Stefano slipped away. "But I must leave you now. Otherwise, I will hurt you. Go away from me before I become the thing that will kill you. Do not hesitate. Just go."

I stood up, watching him sitting on his knees. I pressed my lips into his one last time. I turned away from the man I felt love for once again, turning away as my heart broke again. The man I was in love with began to disappear, but he still had the graciousness to fight and come through just at the last moment.

"I love you." I stated as I turned away from him.

"And I love you, my muse." he barely managed, and I heard the sound of him teleporting away from me.

And I continued down the hallways, searching for my way out, or for a safe area to wait out until the inevitable occurred. I wiped my tears away, praying that somehow, somehow, he would break through. If I could survive what he did to me, I prayed he could survive what was coming his way.

[richincolor]

Group Discussion: Patron Saints of Nothing

Hey, everyone! The Rich in Color bloggers have gotten together to discuss Randy Ribay’s PATRON SAINTS OF NOTHING. As always, there will likely be spoilers in our conversation. If you haven’t yet read it, we recommend you go get it.

A powerful coming-of-age story about grief, guilt, and the risks a Filipino-American teenager takes to uncover the truth about his cousin’s murder.

Jay Reguero plans to spend the last semester of his senior year playing video games before heading to the University of Michigan in the fall. But when he discovers that his Filipino cousin Jun was murdered as part of President Duterte’s war on drugs, and no one in the family wants to talk about what happened, Jay travels to the Philippines to find out the real story.

Hoping to uncover more about Jun and the events that led to his death, Jay is forced to reckon with the many sides of his cousin before he can face the whole horrible truth — and the part he played in it.

As gripping as it is lyrical, Patron Saints of Nothing is a page-turning portrayal of the struggle to reconcile faith, family, and immigrant identity.

Crystal: Families are complicated. Very complicated. Jay likely knew that on one level, but as he gets re-acquainted with his extended family in the Philippines, this becomes even more obvious. I found it interesting that Jay felt closer to his cousins than his siblings. And even more notable was his relationship with his uncle, but for completely different reasons. I think his changing opinions of his uncle were evidence that he was maturing. He begins to see that not only are family relationships complex, but people are too. We’re not simply good or evil. Individuals have so many facets.

Jessica: As someone who grew up in a different country than my cousins, I definitely connected with Jay’s relationship with Jun — close in some ways, distant in others, and overshadowed by the regret that they’ve drifted apart. The letters the two exchange really brought Jun to life, and his initial introduction — consoling Jay — sets the tone for a central conflict: The ways Jay is connected to his heritage, and the ways his perspective differs, as someone who grew up in America. I’m in awe of how PATRON SAINTS OF NOTHING managed to thread the needle on this conflict, and show the fraught complexities of family, and coming from an immigrant background.

Audrey: I really liked how PATRON SAINTS OF NOTHING tackled complicated family dynamics between and across generations. Whether its Jay and his immediate family, the relationships among the parents’ generation, or his slow-building connection to Grace, there is a lot simmering under the surface. Not only are different people actively keeping secrets from one another, but Jay is also at a significant disadvantage due to language and cultural barriers. (Side note: As someone who can’t communicate much with her own grandmother due to a language barrier, Jay’s interactions with his grandparents were painfully familiar.) I really appreciated the scene with Jun’s service for this reason; even though Jay couldn’t understand most of what his other family members said, it was obvious that Jun had mattered to them all despite the ways they had/had not shown it previously.

K. Imani: I agree with you Audrey about how the novel tackled the dynamics across generations. In my extended family, so many stories are unknown because the elders refuse to speak on it, like Jay’s father about why he left the Philippines. The last years of Jun’s life would have been another untold story had not Jay decided to seek it out and stir up trouble in his family. I could truly empathize with his struggle and his frustration with his family, specifically his uncle. I feel like Jay’s insistence on learning about Jun and his family helped not only himself but the rest of his family.

Crystal: A large part of this story focuses on Jay’s connections to his family and to the Philippines. His father explains that “It’s easy to romanticize a place when it’s far away. Filipino Americans have a tendency to do that.” He goes on to say, “But as many good things as there are, there are many bad things, things not so easy to see from far away. When you are close, though, they are sometimes all you see.” Jay definitely has to square his ideas about the Philippines with the reality he meets.

Jessica: Ack! This was a big deal to me… so naturally, I’ve already discussed it in my earlier answer — but yeah, that line from his father is so important, especially in stories where an American goes back to the motherland. I feel that, as someone who’s always dreaming of Taiwan.

Audrey: Jay marched into his extended family’s lives (and the Philippines) with a lot of ignorance and multiple preconceptions, and by the end of it, he left with a better understanding of them and himself–and a desire to close the distance between them. What elevates this from the painful White Person Goes to a Foreign Country to Find/Better Themselves narrative is that Jay gets called out on his ignorance and assumptions constantly, and he isn’t a savior who sweeps in and fixes everything. There are Filipinos already doing the hard work and who will continue to do that work after he leaves. At the same time, Jay also has claim to his motherland, and his uncle’s gatekeeping and frequent digs at Jay are clearly unhelpful. I think a lot of diaspora folks will find things to relate to in Jay’s story.

Crystal: This book deals with President Duterte’s war on drugs. The abuse of drugs is such a huge social issue. It seems when people declare these wars on drugs, they actually seem to declare war on people. And the people they are warring against are often the ones most negatively impacted by the drug use. Jun’s cousin Grace tells him that Jun thought “that those suffering from addiction needed to be helped, not to be arrested because their addiction was as much genetics as it was a choice. And those pushing need to be employed, not killed, because most of them were only trying to survive.” Beyond that, looking for the corruption that allowed the drugs to get into the country would also be a good place to start. It’s so much easier to demonize the addicts and the pushers than solving many of the problems that lead to the drug use — especially when the people in power actually benefit from looking like they are working on the problem, but still leaving the whole system in place. This story helps share the human side of this war.

Audrey: PATRON SAINTS OF NOTHING did a great job of pointing out the complexity and hypocrisy surrounding this war on drugs and how easy it is for people to start looking at one another as less worthy of life simply because they are visible symptoms of larger social ills. Even Jay doesn’t want to believe that Jun could have been using drugs, and that leads him to erroneous conclusions for much of the novel. It’s simpler for those in power to make an enemy of those who are suffering rather than doing the complicated, expensive work of tackling corruption and the problems that lead to drug use in the first place.

K. Imani: I agree with both of you that this novel does an excellent job of putting a human face on drug abuse, and highlights the issue with Duterte’s drug war, that sadly, many in the US do not know about. It definitely showed that the way to deal with drug abuse is to treat it as a health issue, rather than a criminal issue, because Jun wasn’t a criminal. Jun was a troubled, but giving soul, and if he’d had treatment instead of killed, he would really make an impact in his world. Additionally, I feel like this highlight of Duterte’s drug war also shows how power corrupts and how people can fall so easily into following along to hold onto power. I know that we learned different sides of Uncle Maning, however, his blind faithfulness to Duterte and the drug war disturbed me. The belief to do anything for the “law and order” and the “safety of the people”, when in reality the ones in power are the ones we fear. This hit a little too close to home to me.

Crystal: Many families have secrets or things they really don’t talk about much, but there were many things going on here that Jay was learning for the first time. Some of his family members are working to help girls escape from trafficking situations and he never even knew. It makes me think about how many things people are keeping from each other. And like Jay wonders, why do we not share more and love more when we all have the capacity to love so deeply? We certainly miss out, but it’s protective to stay separate and keep things hidden.

Audrey: Some of the best scenes in the book are when Jay is able to bridge that gap between himself and someone else in his family. It takes courage to speak and the willingness to be vulnerable, and Jay is starting to embrace both by the end of the book. Jun’s letters were excellent examples of this, as was Jay’s final letter back. I was really pleased with how the book ended and how Jay had changed in this regard when he came back to the U.S.

K. Imani: Without giving away the ending, I loved the way Patron Saints ended because Jay and his father’s conversation ended the cycle of keeping secrets. In the beginning of the book, Jay didn’t really have a deep friendship with anyone and I felt sad for him, but clearly it was because he was used to growing up with a closed off family. Clearly, he needed an outlet and I feel like the trip to the Philippines and his brief time with Mia, who became a real friend, helped him express himself for the first time in years. It was also very brave of him to speak out to his family, but it overall lead to a healthy change for Jay and his entire family. I almost wanted an epilogue at the end to see how much his family had changed after Jay’s experience, as I would have loved to see how Jay’s relationship with his father changed for the better.

Crystal: I haven’t seen many books set in the Philippines, but I’ve really enjoyed the ones I’ve read — ANGEL DE LA LUNA AND THE 5TH GLORIOUS MYSTERY (review here) and DURAN DURAN, IMELDA MARCOS, AND ME (adult book with YA appeal). Have you all read many other books set there? Do you have any to recommend?

Jessica: This is a short story and not a YA book, but it’s really good so I’m going to take the chance to plug it anyway: “Asphalt, River, Mother, Child” by Isabel Yap on Strange Horizons. The story tackles the what’s going on in the Philippines right now, and it’s incredible and heartbreaking. (Please check the content warnings before reading.)

Audrey: You know, I think PATRON SAINTS OF NOTHING is the first book I’ve read set in the Philippines! I have read works by Filipino-American writers before, but this was the first one actually set in the Philippines, so far as I remember.

K. Imani: I read ANGEL DE LA LUNA AND THE 5TH GLORIOUS MYSTERY as well and really loved it, so I second Crystal’s recommendation. I don’t think I’ve read any others, but I’m definitely open to reading more in the future.

Extra: Salve Villarosa (@cuckooforbooks) a BookTuber in the Phillipines created two great videos about this book. The first is her review of the book and the second is a Q&A with Randy Ribay during his book launch in Manila.

To add your thoughts, please send out a tweet or comment section on the Rich in Color blog post.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2018 anime Overview: My Hero Academia Season 3 (Episodes 1-13)

My Hero Academia comes back with a bang for season 3. The students are sent to a superhero training camp, but chaos erupts when villains invade. (Check out my take on season 1 of MHA on Epicstream here, my take on the first arc of season 2 here and my anime overview of MHA season 2 here)

Both My Hero Academia’s strengths and weaknesses persisted in this season. That means annoying bullshit with Mineta sexually harassing the girls as ~comedy ~ , the girl heroes in general being underserved and the occasional bit of sexist or sexualized nonsense. However, it probably says a LOT about My Hero Academia’s strengths that I’m still watching and enjoying. 

The characters and their dynamics are so much fun, the fights are some of the best I’ve seen in shonen, the animation is phenomenal and this series can hit the emotional beats so hard and so well. I had so much fun watching this season that I actually couldn’t resist doing a weekly recap/liveblog partway though, which you can check out here if you want more detail on my thoughts and other weirdness.

So this season starts off with the kids at a training camp and though it’s a little bumpy at first (we’ll get to that later), the stakes quickly get wicked high when the villains invade. We also get a little world-building, showing a kid who’s very cynical about superheroes after his parents died in the line of duty. The show hasn’t really gone into what families of heroes go through, and seeing it approach that territory is pretty cool.

Of course it’s up to Deku to prove the worth of heroes, and the fight where he defends Kota is just BOMBASTIC. The action, the visuals, the voice acting, everything is on point- it’s such a simple, not-all-that-uncommon story, but the show executes it with such sincerity and style you’re utterly blown away. Deku’s desperation to save the little boy, his terror when he thinks he’s going to die, the ridiculous bone-breaking feats- it all really hits you. 

MHA’s strength is the way it can take simple shonen/superhero plots and elevate them by just going all-in, heart and soul, with total confidence and not a hint of sneer. it’s here to give you a lavish spectacle that has real heart and belief in the power of heroes and the greatness of these characters, and it succeeds. This holds true for the other big fights of this season, particularly All Might’s big one.

Oh boy, does this season have the All Might feels for ya. It was pretty nice to finally learn a little bit about where he came from, and it was very cool to find out he’s carrying on the legacy of a woman, that she’s his mentor and inspiration, and he carries her words and teachings to motivate him in times of need. It’s still sadly rare to see male heroes being inspired by the legacy of women and looking up to them, so I gotta give my props-she’s straight up superhero Mia Fey, and we all know how I feel about that lady. it’s especially nice to see from MHA, which has struggled a lot with adult female characters.

Anyway, All Might’s big fight is pure shonen in the best way, it’s brutal and devastating and over the top and ridiculous and it’s genuinely something that is going to hugely impact the show going forward. You don’t want to miss it

But honestly, MHA’s biggest strength this season may be how it dealt with the aftermath of all this. It was careful to immediately depict the emotional fallout all this violence would have, and the way the characters were going to have to change in response and the conversations they need to have now. That’s a crucial element that’s missing from so many shonen and adventure stories, so it’s nice to see MHA really nail it.

Dead Moms in shonen are kind of a meme, and they’re ubiquitous in young adult adventure stories in general. However, in MHA our protagonist has a living mother who’s struggling to support him, and the show takes the time to explore her feelings over seeing her son get put in life-or-death situations while the older heroes fail to protect him. She puts her foot down, and this is portrayed with far more sympathy toward her than a lot of adventure shows would have. Both All Might and Deku have to acknowledge they’ve been unfair to her, and Deku’s response is surprisingly mature. It’s a very powerful scene that feels grounded in real emotion and it demonstrates the importance of having characters just honestly communicate with each other.

“Legacy” has always been one of my favorite aspects of superheroes, which is unfortunate for me because American comics have a tendency to reset the timeline and erase their legacy heroes. But there’s a real sense of legacy in MHA and it’s a big theme. Heroes will die, they will retire, and new generation will need to step up. 

I love that sense of the fight being passed down, of older heroes teaching the younger ones, of the youth carrying those memories and teachings forward. Nobody is permanent, but feelings can last forever if you pass them on. 

I’m glad to see the show is leaning into this more than ever, I’m glad to see All Might realize he’s been inadequate as a mentor in some ways and redouble his efforts. I look forward to seeing how the dynamic shift.

It’d be remiss not to mention Bakugou in an overview of this arc, since he was pretty central. I’m honestly surprised by how much I enjoy his character, the way the narrative uses him is just so interesting-the idea that even the villains noticed how much of an asshole this kid is and decided he would fit in is pretty funny, and his reactions to the whole situation were pretty fun and exciting to watch. This season definitely made me understand him a lot more (I go into it more during my recap here if you’re curious) and I’m interested to see where he goes from here- he hasn’t gotten much kinder or seen the error of his ways, and I doubt he will any time soon, but I see signs of progress and his worldview seems to be cracking.

 I once again appreciate that while he and Deku are big influences to each other as “rivals”, neither of them is the center of each other’s world or the one who will “save” the other. Deku straight up says that he can’t be the one to “reach out” to Bakugou and he’s accepted that Bakugou would never reach back to him, so when it comes to appealing to him, he elects someone better qualified. That’s a pretty unusual thing to hear a shonen hero say about ANYONE, much less his rival, and the fact their dynamic doesn’t follow the standard is way more interesting to me.

So yeah, I enjoyed the first part of season 3 a lot. But there was some bad stuff. Of course there was. And we gotta talk about it.

The secens of Mineta trying to sexually harass the girls early in the season are some of the worst the show has to offer yet- even when he fails, the girls are still threatened and sexualized. I do appreciate Kota for trying to murder him over it. If only he had succeeded, he would have been the biggest hero of them all. But it’s just galling that the teachers know about Mineta’s behavior and he hasn’t been punished, considering this school is supposed to be about heroism and goodness.

 Horikoshi’s gross handling of older female characters continues, we straight up have a 31- old lady superhero whose entire personality is she’s ~desperate to be married~ because she’s ~so old~ and excuse me while I bang my head into the wall. It’s especially stupid to see this overused cliche persist since the average age for marriage amongJapanese women to get married is much higher than it used to be- it’s 31, so she shouldn’t feel like she’s “past the deadline”, she’s absolutely average. But nope, gotta have those stereotypes- even to the point of having her hit on teenage boys, because that’s not creepy. Oh, and when it comes to the big fight she just gets knocked out immediately.

To be fair, Mandalay, who’s the same age, seems sensible and competent enough and we actually finally do get an important, inspirational older female superhero with Nana (though she’s dead, so, there’s that). 

The girls get some nice moments this season (Itsuka was badass) and they all remain competent and fun characters, but they’re noticeably sidelined a lot when it comes to fighting especially- both Tsuyu and Ochako conveniently can’t get to one big fight on time so its all boys and while Momo was super awesome in being saavy enough to put a tracer on the villains when they kidnap a classmate- without her efforts the big rescue couldn’t have even taken place at all- it’s very noticable that all the boys on the rescue squad gets to play a physical role in the rescue while Momo just has to stand there.  

And the one female villain on the massive villain league- well, her whole thing is she’s horny in a creepy way, because of course it is. But hey, at least Mt. Lady finally got to do something besides be a sexy joke for once!

Okay, I’m done griping. There’s still a Lot of trashy nonsense to contend with when it comes to MHA and I doubt that’s going to get much better. But the show manages to keep me coming back for more because of all the other stuff it has to offer. It can be So Bad sometimes but then most of the time it’s So Good. The true meaning of a problematic fav.

I just...love these kids (sans mineta)...i love watching them interact...they deserve the world...and I can’t wait to see more of them as the season continues.

[wellamarke]

‘I thought I’d never see you again.’ // SRC 1b

for @synth-recharge-challenge... it starts off angsty but obviously devolves into fluff, you know me :P

disclaimer - I know nothing about prison visiting in THIS universe but Humans is set in a parallel one so we’ll pretend this is realism!

•

Before the trial, visits had been more frequent. Three a week, usually - one always claimed by Mattie, and the second usually Joe with Sophie or Toby. The third slot had been something of a wild card: Stanley had come a few times, as had Max. Representatives of the Mia Foundation occasionally dropped by, apparently viewing Laura as some kind of pilgrimage destination.

It was nice to see that people were still willing to fight, but sometimes those hours could drag. These were strangers, people who’d seen Laura’s arrest in the media and wanted to meet the woman who’d given up her liberty for the cause - they had no strategy to consult her on, nor would they be allowed to if they did. All visits were overseen by guards and recorded. Laura was forbidden to discuss Basswood and its impact with anyone other than her legal team. On visiting days, conversation was little more than small talk.

That was before. Since being charged with treason, Laura’s visiting privileges had dropped down to once a month, and now she clung to those precious moments with all her might. She had already missed the birth of her granddaughter, and although Mattie had brought the baby to see her as soon as she could and every month since then, it broke Laura’s heart a little more each time she was presented with evidence of how much she was still missing with each passing day.

Even worse were the feelings of guilt and grief that found her every night as she lay awake, treading at the corners of her mind throughout the day as well. Mia’s death was as raw now as it had been on the day of her arrest, a gaping wound that didn’t seem likely to close. It had been almost eighteen months. Laura still longed to hold Mia in her arms again, as she had that day by the bridge. In unguarded moments she found herself wishing she’d never warned Mia what the government was planning, that she’d just taken her somewhere safe and to hell with the rest of them.

She didn’t mean it.

But since it could never be anything but hypothetical, she was willing to admit, at least to herself, that she’d have traded almost anything for Mia’s life. That Mia left a hole in her own existence, so deep and hollow that she was almost glad she was stuck in this place: to live out there, in a world without Mia, would be too much to bear.

It was all the more painful because she’d never fully been aware of this while Mia lived; she’d never had the chance to say it. Perhaps one day, a life sentence later, with greying hair and fading eyesight, Laura would be able to stand at the memorial site and whisper such words to the commemorative plaque that bore Mia’s name. Perhaps she’d be able to run a wizened finger over the engraving, and pretend that it was closure.

But she’d never get to tell Mia to her face. It was all too late.

Laura watched the clock on the wall, waiting idly for the last thirty minutes to pass before her scheduled visit could begin. She couldn’t wait to see Mattie and the baby. As much as it hurt to see how much her granddaughter had grown in the interval between visits, it was balm to Laura’s soul every time she had the chance to see that rosy-cheeked little face.

When the door opened, though, neither Mattie nor the baby was behind it. Instead a prison orderly entered and planted a pale green slip of paper on the table in front of Laura: an outside correspondence form, which someone must have filled in earlier.

Sorry Mum, it read. Everyone’s fine, but something came up and we had to sacrifice visiting day. It’ll be worth it. Love you lots.

Mattie and Toby had signed their names amid a sea of Sophie’s trademark heart shapes. Laura read the note over again, trying not to feel hurt. Of course, they had other things going on, of course she couldn’t expect the world to stand still just because she had an hour free to see them, of course sometimes more important things would come up in one of their lives, but all three of them? And Joe, too? Couldn’t he at least have brought the baby if Mattie was busy?

Stop that, Laura told herself, stop being bitter about this. She couldn’t allow herself to feel like that: bitterness would only fester in a place like this one, and then it would take root and be all the harder to get rid of.

It’ll be worth it, she read again. Well, she hoped they were having a wonderful time.

She folded the note along a neat, crisp line so she wouldn’t have to look at it anymore. They allowed her to keep paper correspondence, when it was just little, non-incendiary notes like this, but she wasn’t sure she wanted this one. Proof that they had all forgotten about her on what was supposed to be her one day of consolation.

The door opened again, and at first Laura did not even look up, her eyes glazed over in thought.

When she finally did lift her head, she blinked several times: clearly, there was something still wrong with her eyes. Clearly, they were not telling her the truth. But nevertheless they were sending a pretty definite message to her brain that lead to her throat closing up and her lungs gasping for air. Her eyes, traitors that they were, were still feeding her the obvious lie until they had filled so much with tears that she couldn’t even say for sure if the mirage was still before her.

“Hello, Laura,” said Mia.

Laura sobbed in utter disbelief, and practically flung her chair across the room by standing so abruptly. She wiped desperately at her eyes, willing them to end this hallucination, for surely that must be what it was.

“You…” Laura began, the noise only barely choked out through her hands, which had moved to cover her mouth instead. “It can’t be you.”

The person that couldn’t possibly be Mia smiled. “It can,” she said.

Laura’s heartbeat was throbbing in her head, and every time she blinked she expected Mia to disappear into thin air, but it wasn’t happening. She was still there. She was actually in the room. It was impossible.

“But you died,” she whispered, feeling the wrench of it all over again.

“Yes,” Mia admits. “But they brought me back. It took a long time, but they rebuilt me from an old copy of my root code. I have… most of my memories. Some of the more recent files were corrupted, but I know the facts of what happened. And I’m alive.”

Well, this is it, thought Laura, I’ve really gone mad. Faintly, she noticed that she was sobbing properly now, but she couldn’t stop or control it in any way: this was so obviously, undeniably far too good to be true.

When she felt Mia’s arms around her, her breathing suddenly hitched and paused. It felt so real. In eighteen months of lonely confinement, she had never been able to recreate this feeling in her mind, no matter how vividly she remembered feeling it before. She was… safe.

“You’re really here?” she said, when words returned to her.

“I promise, I’m really here,” said Mia. After a pause, she added, “I’m sorry I stole the visiting slot. I tried to tell Mattie to come as well, but she said something about not wanting to upstage me. I think she was joking.”

A laugh burst out of Laura from some high place in her throat that she had forgotten existed.

She drew back from Mia’s embrace, slowly and reverently. “Let me look at you,” she whispered. “I can’t believe it. I… can’t believe it. I’ve missed you so much.”

Mia smiled. “For me, it only feels like a couple of weeks. But I’ve missed you too.”

“Your family…?”

“This is mostly Niska’s doing. Max and Leo helped rebuild my consciousness. Mattie, too.”

“She never said a word.”

“They didn’t want to give you false hope. Apparently, up ’til a fortnight ago, they were ready to give up.”

“What made them keep going?”

“Hope,” Mia said.

“Oh, don’t,” said Laura with a grimace, “I can hardly stand that word. For while back there, Mattie was going to…”

“I know,” said Mia, “I’m so glad they didn’t. I think they made a much better choice.”

Laura thought back to the day Mattie and Leo had visited together and told her the name they’d chosen, and how she’d almost laughed in relief. Anything but Hope.

She felt a similar rush of relief now, only tens of thousands of times stronger. All the tensions and misery and darkness were melting away, the longer she looked into Mia’s eyes. Every moment of the last year and a half, every torturous second, was transformed now: it had all been building towards this, and it had all been worth the wait.

“I still feel like I’m dreaming,” Laura said after a silence. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

Mia leaned forwards, until their foreheads were touching the way Laura had so often seen the Elsters do. She had never dared imagine that she same show of affection might be offered to her. It was an unfamiliar sensation in the physical sense, but somewhere deeper she felt her heart coming home, after many months at sea.

When she tilted her head just slightly, she found Mia’s lips waiting for her.

The words Laura wanted to say would have to wait.

[doux-amer]

Part 2 of Infinity War blabbing (about the characters)! Much more positive than Part 1 (general stuff) which is here. As always, if you want to avoid spoilers, look away.

Loki - BRUH, I knew he was going to die in the first five minutes before the movie came out, and HE DID. But my Thor and Loki feels...I knew Loki would come through with his love for his brother, but he waited a long time to, I don’t know, call Thanos’s bluff except I have a feeling he knew Thanos would have nothing holding him back from really killing Thor so maybe he really wanted to see how far it could go and then realized that, no, he seriously couldn’t deal with that happening? “ONLY I CAN HURT MY BROTHER!!!” Lmao. And then his little hero moment where he lies because that’s what he does best and of course that would never work. YOU SNEK FOOL. ;_; His death was what I expected, but it was still violent and his face afterwards was...well, what you expect someone who suffocated to look like somewhat and I liked that because wow, finally, something that feels horrific and fitting with war.

Thor - God, THOR. POOR THOR. MY BOY IS ALL ALONE NOW. A TRUE ORPHAN. AND HE’S GRIEVING AND THE BEST PART IS WHERE HE GOES UP AGAINST THANOS AND ALL THE ANGUISH HE BOTTLED UP COMES SPILLING OUT. That and the lust-inducing part where he shows up to smash in Wakanda. I love my god of thunder. Really liked his teamup with Rocket and Groot too. IW Thor is also how I imagine Thor to be, with a little more silliness when the world isn’t in danger and he can be a goof. Kind of wondering how people took him after Ragnarok. He has one of the best arcs in the MCU. *blows kisses to my golden boy*

Peter - MY SON. MY CHILD. MY BABY WHOM I GAVE BIRTH TO AND RAISED MYSELF. He was so cute! Little baby with his suit that his papa gave him that’s so cool and shiny. His dad just wants to protect him. He doesn’t listen to Tony which is a classic kid move. Peter being pure and good! ALL OF HIS INTERACTIONS WITH TONY ARE SUCH PARENT-KID INTERACTIONS. I’M WEEPING. LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE ONE. WITHOUT FAIL. TONY, YOU DON’T NEED A SON BECAUSE YOU ALREADY HAVE ONE ON THE TEAM. One of the only moments that made me emotional was the part where he died because he’s so scared and he sounds like a kid. He’s so scared and he stumbles towards Tony who he looks up to and trusts so much because Tony will know what to do and Tony will keep him safe, right? Right? And he keeps babbling and I’m crying and Tony’s crying and everyone’s crying and we’re all dying and crying!!!!!! AND HE SLUMPS ON TONY!!!!! TONY HOLDS HIM SO TIGHTLY AND HE CLINGSSSSSSS TO HIM. AND THEN HE SAYS HE’S SORRY!!!! LIKE THAT’S GOING TO HELP WHEN THAT’S GOING TO MAKE TONY’S SURVIVOR’S GUILT SO MUCH WORSE!!!!! AND HE DISSOLVES AND TONY WATCHES HIM DIE IN FRONT OF HIM AND TONY! CRIES! LISTEN, DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TEN YEARS, TONY’S EYES JUST DON’T WELL UP WITH TEARS. TEARS FINALLY FALL. OH MY GOD. IT’S BEEN 84 YEARS. HALLELUJAH. I LOVE THIS SONG. 

Tony - TONY WAS RIGHT (TM). HE’S ONLY BEEN SAYING THIS FOR A MILLION YEARS AND NONE OF YOU DICKWADS LISTENED TO HIM!!! LOOK WHAT HAPPENED! THE CASSANDRA OF THE MCU, EVERYONE. His worst nightmare has come alive and he doesn’t have time to panic. There’s too much going on and he needs to focus, but then Titan happens and oh my god, I was braced for him to die in Avengers 4 or something that I clenched my armrests when he got stabbed because I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR HIM TO DIE IN IW AND IT LOOKED LIKE HE WOULD. And then he didn’t. Can people just effing LISTEN to him? Even in this movie, they’d fight him on things. *throws hands up* My boy was in so much pain and Thanos knew who he was. I’M SCREAMING. And the “I hope they’ll remember you” line or whatever!!!!! And oh god the ending when he’s all alone. No one knows he’s there except Nebula. HE’S ON A PLANET THAT’S COMPLETELY DESTROYED FAR OUT IN SPACE WITH NO ONE TO REACH HIM AND NO ONE KNOWING HE’S EVEN ALIVE AND HE JUST SAW EVERYONE DIE IN FRONT OF HIM AND IT’S NOT WANDA’S VISION 100%, BUT IT’S STILL SOMEWHAT SIMILAR. God, his suit is so sexy too. We finally got Bleeding Edge in the MCU, and we are BLESSED. 

Steve - Oh, Steve. I missed you. Thank you for reminding me why I love you so much. That line about not trading lives? OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD. THAT’S MY BOY. THAT IS 100% STEVE ROGERS. And with that and all the IW shenanigans, I had Hickmanvengers on my mind, but anyway. God. That’s so Steve. Even when the most logical situation is to do as Viz says, he says that that’s unacceptable and that they need to find another way which can be infuriating under certain circumstances, but not this one because that pushes them to go at the problem from a different angle. My heart was so full, but tbh that was me as soon as he stepped out of the shadows. I just. God. I missed him so much? These two years did a lot to calm me down. I remember when I was so afraid that CA:CW had irrevocably soured my feelings for him which was devastating because Steve means so much to me, but with the help of @aslightstep and time, I calmed down. I was basically heart eyes every time he showed up and thought about how he was so worn down being out in the cold which doesn’t come naturally to him because he needs a support system and being all emo over losing Tony’s friendship (Chris Evans Confirmed Fact TM) because it really showed at some quiet moments. And of course he’d run straight into battle with T’Challa and of course he’d run straight to Viz because Viz needs help and of course he’d be a dork and okay, I know he doesn’t understand Groot, but “I am Steve Rogers.” YOU EFFING POLITE, CUTE DORK. I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!! And omg the phone. Tony was about to call Steve and omg I hate that we didn’t get to hear Steve pick up the phone when Bruce called like hdu rob me of that because you know that boy picked it up immediately and was like “BEYONCE? TONY??” God, he doesn’t know that Tony was about to call him, he doesn’t know that Tony’s alive because of the news that he’s missing, he doesn’t know that Tony’s alive because of Thanos wiping out half of the universe and Tony doesn’t know Steve’s alive because of that either, and he doesn’t know that Tony’s stranded light years away alone (with Nebula) without a team on a dead planet and just saw everyone die in front of him including someone he cares for a lot and feels responsible for! KILL ME!!!!! 

Thanos - Seriously needed more fleshing out. I felt nothing when it came to Thanos although I liked how they tried to humanize him and I’m sure that had they developed him, those scenes might have killed me. Tbh he cried more than the good guys which was different and unexpected, and he was softer in a way that I didn’t expect. He’s mad, but it’s almost like you can talk to him and he’ll hear you even if he rejects your idea if that makes sense. It makes me mad because instead of doing stupid, zero impact winks at him sitting on his ugly throne, if they had actually developed him throughout the six years we’ve seen him glimpses of him and revolved the GotG franchise around him (or at least one of the GotG movies), then he would be an incredibly nuanced villain, but no.

Gamora - I’m really glad she got to have a lot of screen time, and it was moving how she was so hellbent on disavowing and killing Thanos from GotG1 and on, but she was so conflicted here. Not about what she had to do, but how it made her feel to do it despite knowing in her heart what she needed to do. ;_; My girl. Love the scenes with Nebula too and how far these sisters have come. I wish her death scene had a bigger impact on me, but it didn’t because this guy two seats from me whom I was ready to throttle several times throughout the movie laughed in a “OH WOW!” and because we didn’t get to see her backstory with Thanos at all. Again, not the fault of the Russos or M&M. They only have so much time, and Gunn reallyyyyyyyy should’ve focused on this a lot more in the GotG franchise. But you know, let’s focus on the irrelevant Quill!

Quill - Goddamn do I hate this guy. GotG2 redeemed him in my eyes, but jfc he was unbearably obnoxious in this movie as soon as he showed up. How is he more immature than Peter and Shuri who are ACTUAL KIDS? He’s like that insecure douchebag manbaby in his 20s/30s who needs to grow tf up. He’s insensitive and thinks that everything is a competition because he feels so threatened by Thor who’s doing nothing but existing and not showing off or making moves on Gamora which....dude, you don’t own Gamora. Like his thing about losing his mom and killing his dad? Thor just lost his entire goddamn family, you dangling gonad. He doesn’t contribute whatsoever to the fight against Thanos because lbr that plan on Titan was either something he didn’t come up with alone or he didn’t come up with at all despite what he says. He singlehandedly destroyed their biggest advantage over Thanos to stop him from killing half the universe. But you know, dude can’t even keep his temper under control for two seconds, when Baby Peter’s getting close to getting the Gauntlet off and when he’s not the only one who lost someone or suffered at the hands of Thanos (Drax and Nebula are right there!). You can beat the hell out of Grape Man all you want afterwards, oh my god!!!!!! I was relieved to see that he was one of the people who died tbh because I know he’ll be back, but at least he’ll be MIA for a good while.

Rhodey - I’m...not entirely happy, but fortunately not too unhappy with how they backtracked on Rhodey’s stance on the Accords, but I’m happy to see him and to see him walking again and goodnaturedly taking the piss out of white people who never know how to act around people of color lmao. And I really adored the little bits of Rhodey and Sam interactions in this.<333 My boys.<3 GOD, I’M SO GLAD HE’S NOT DEAD FOR NOW.

Bucky - Lmao the Russos really don’t care for Buckaroo at all. CW showed that and now this. The reunion with Steve was touching, but okay, I hatehatehatehatehate that One Side of Fandom Every Single Corner of the Marvel Fandom hates, so I lowkey laughed that that was all they got. Anyway, dude can’t get a break. Please, he just wants to chop some wood and live an idyllic life and now he’s dead after two seconds.

Vision - Poor Viz was little more than a plot point, and I barely cared about him because of that. The two scenes I liked, though, were when he was like “Yoooo Wanda, who cares about my dad! I’m an adult! I want to be with you! Bye, Tony!” and then his face crumpled with guilt when he saw Tony was missing and when he convinced Wanda to destroy the Mind Stone while it was in him. They went from testing the waters to full-blown romancing each other which was a lot especially because I reallyyyy wish they kept Viz in his actual form and not his human one since the age gap was awkward, what with everyone calling Wanda a kid (You want to see kids? Peter and Shuri are kids) even though she’s an adult. But really, I wish they toned it down or showed their love for each other through other ways than them macking on each other because it would’ve been more effective instead of “Let’s try to cram in as many hetero kisses in this movie as possible (and for the Wanda/Viz one, while Paul’s not in makeup)!” That last scene between them was perfect for that imo, with Viz saying one of the sweetest lines (Wanda not being able to hurt him and all he can feel is her).

Wendy Mcdonald Wanda - As usual, I’m whatever about Liz Olsen’s performance aside from the whitewashing which I’m never getting over, but I was okay with her in this film. I think it’s because for the first film ever, she’s not putting anyone else in danger because tbh she never exactly redeemed herself for the terrible things she did. Here, she’s selfless. Still didn’t care that she died though lmao.

Bruce - Really wish they utilized Mark’s acting chops better because I feel like all Bruce did was act confused or exhilarated by cool things. I did love the reunions with him and the others, though (same with Thor and the Avengers), and lmfasdfoihfsihashfs Bruce/Nat, okay. The Russos had to address it, but it was just that. An acknowledgment. Get this Wh*don ship out of my sight, please. But yes the reunions were sooooo good and heartfelt because it’s been three years since they last saw him and they didn’t even know if he was alive because he was entirely off the grid.  Tony and Bruce!!!!! EVERYONE WITH BRUCE!!!!! And the conflict between him and Hulk here was new and refreshing because this time it’s Bruce wanting Hulk to come out and Hulk refusing to and because Hulk seems scared, but it could’ve been handled better because a lot of his scenes felt very corny to me. :/

Strange - Strangely (heh oops, not intentional), I was okay with him. I think it was because I liked his interactions with Tony especially because we see the jerk side of Strange showing up, but it’s not the same variety of jerk that Quill is. And he butted heads with Tony and I’m okay with that because it was mostly due to differing opinions on how to approach the situation. The cloak probably gave him some points as well. But idk he’s just....there are a lot of things with him where I was like, “But can’t he do ___?” I was talking to @hoteloblivion earlier and we were thinking about portals and how they could have been better utilized especially considering how they were shown earlier (couldn’t he just have chopped off Thanos’s arm and then teleported them out of there?). Also, I guess I should watch his solo movie (gagging because yay Mighty Whitey and whitewashing) to understand the Time Stone better. 

T’Challa - Damn, I didn’t think he’d go because they were saving all the important “main” characters and I know he’ll be back, but I thought he’d have more to do. Tbh when M’Baku (god he was so beautiful as usual as were my baby genius Shuri and goddess of my life Okoye) didn’t die and we cut to Okoye and T’Challa, I thought Okoye would go, but nah? I love Wakanda’s shields too. 

Sam - Oh Sam, I forgot how much I missed you. Fly, birdie, fly! And his warmth and little comments on what’s going on like the awkwardness at the compound were good.

Natasha - She was just there, but it was still nice to see her in action. Not really much to say about her tbh. Oh, I liked how we got to see a few minutes of just women fighting together although movies love to do this thing where they pair up female villains with female heroes and it’s tiring. 

Pepper - The beginning was cute, but man, IW seals the deal. I dislike Pepperony. I used to like it, but they’re so incompatible at this point and it’s unfixable because her inability to reconcile Tony’s lifestyle with hers and accept that side of Tony, which is the biggest part of him and the essence of who he is, keeps showing up time and time again. Does that make her a bad person? No. But it almost feels like the textbook example of love not being enough in a relationship where two people love, care deeply for, and admire each other. She deserves the stability and a life away from danger, and he deserves someone who’ll accept him wholly. It was why CA:CW made sense and why Homecoming felt wildly out of left field especially in the wake of CA:CW, and I hated that they swept everything under the rug at the beginning of this one, but ignored it to focus on them being cute and then BAM. It’s not like I don’t expect her to be scared and to try begging him to come home because of that; I do. But it’s more that she goes on about it and kind of worryshouts and I’m like, “OH MY GOD, PEPPER! HE’S AN AVENGER! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT HIM TO DO?! IGNORE WHAT’S HAPPENING? YOU KNOW WHO HE IS AT THIS POINT. ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS EVERY TIME HE GOES ON AVENGER BUSINESS?” 

Rocket and Groot - Liked them. Liked them with Thor. Liked Groot chopping off his arm. Liked Rocket and Bucky shooting aliens together.

Drax - Thank Godddddd he’s more likable in this because I liked him in GotG1 and disliked him for most of GotG2. 

Mantis - She’s so cute! Remember her jumping in the background on Titan? And I like her and Peter’s interactions. Spidey, I mean. 

Nebula - She deserves better, but at least she saw how much Gamora truly wanted to make amends and be her sister. KILL YOUR BARNEY DAD, NEBS! He deserves to be dead for that torture/dismantling scene alone. :( I didn’t realize to what extent her body was modified. No wonder she hated Gamora for so long.</3

Wong - Yay, we got one Asian in the MCU (Pom’s Asian, but Mantis isn’t). Yay we get to see him do some fighting. Booooo, we see him disappear.

So yeah tl;dr, some good and some bad. There were way too many people in this movie and I get why that’s the case, but now that we got all the introductions out of the way and we downsized by half (lol at all the original Avengers still standing), I hope Avengers 4 ends up being really good with a lot to sink into character-wise. Also, Carol. Bruh. I died seeing Fury and Hill. I missed them and lmaooooo at Nick’s resignation with dissolving. AND THE PAGER!!! WHO HAS PAGERS NOWADAYS?! IS NICK CALLING INTO THE PAST? IS CAROL IN SPACE? BUT IT’S A PAGER AND THAT’S SO OUTDATED AND THAT’S SUCH A SPECIFIC CHOICE. I shouted in the theater when that scene ended and we saw her insignia on the pager screen lol. CAROL’S GOING TO SAVE US ALL.