#do you understand that him and the white man are not on equal footing when theyre in the real world

[wildestdreamsblog]

Might as well be drunk in love: 2 of 3

Pairing: OT7 x Reader (CEO AU)

Summary: In which your friend thought it would be funny to give you a love potion, and in which seven CEOs accidentally drank it.

Warnings: Love Potion, Yandere behavior, Obsessiveness, Possessiveness, Manipulative behavior, Violence, Mention of death, Disability, If you’re not 18+ please, PLEASE, do not interact. Be mindful of the warnings. Let me know if I miss anything.

A/N: Let the darkness begin.

GIF by sugajimin

Part 1

Tuesday Night, Day 1

Kim Namjoon opened the door, his dimples on display as he welcomed you in the mansion for the second time that night as though he was already expecting you. He looked warm and comfortable, donning out simple white shirt and grey sweatpants instead of his usual formal clothes. A damp towel hanged on his broad shoulders; his hair still wet from the shower he obviously took.

“Welcome home, little one,” he greeted lowly, pulling your reluctant form in. If he felt the way you dug your heels on the ground, he didn’t mention. He was just elated that you were here now. He couldn’t explain the excruciating pain that went through his body almost more than an hour after he dropped you off. He was only able to manage it when Hoseok messaged him, letting him know that you would be coming home with him, and only then did he feel the pain subsided.

For the second time, you stepped foot in the grandiose place of theirs. It was a strange juxtaposition, your cautious movements against Namjoon's determined pull. Funnily, you thought it was similar to the depiction of Lucifer dragging Persephone down to hell. Walking behind you was the intimidating man, Jung Hoseok. He was carrying your bags in his hand in a relaxed manner, opposite to how he was before. The amount of clothes he personally packed were staggeringly ridiculous. It was like he packed your whole belongings with the intention for you to never set foot in your own apartment again. In his other hand was your traitor of a cat that was purring as the man carried him in his arms. It was like your cat left you for a better life.

"You must have been exhausted," Namjoon's voice broke through the quiet, drawing your attention to his warm smile. His concern softened the edges of your weariness. “The day is too long for any of us. You should get your rest.”

You eyed Hoseok, unsure of how to act when he offered you a reassuring smile. “We readied your room, little one," Hoseok's voice was surprisingly gentle, a stark contrast to his prior demeanor. Namjoon bade you good night, his large hand cupping your cheek tenderly before letting you go. With a beckoning gesture, Hoseok motioned for you to follow him, and you fell into step beside him, the weight of exhaustion pressing down on your shoulders.

He opened the room to the far end of the right wing. Similar to the aesthetic of the house, the room was equally grandiose. The bed, positioned prominently in the center of the room, commanded attention with its regal presence. It was fit for a princess, you thought, with its lavish canopy and layers of plush bedding inviting you to sink into its embrace. Every detail spoke of luxury and refinement, from the gilded accents to the soft, muted colors that suffused the room with an air of tranquility.

Any other time you would have gushed over the beauty of this room, but not this time. And not with the stress that that love potion brought you! On top of that, you were in a strange place with your CEOs who were practically strangers up at this moment! It was more than understandable that you were acting wary of these two men. They were only two of the seven, and you were already displaced by them! What more if the remaining five were to face you now?

You looked over your lashes at the man who was putting your bags down in front of what looked like a huge walk-in closet, his face void of any negative emotions but the people pleaser and the anxious child in you made you voiced out what you were thinking.

“Are you mad at me?”

Your cat, on the other hand, was now roaming freely and inspecting his new home with a purr, uncaring of the stress that you were feeling. You knew that traitor had such an expensive taste that your cat would literally sell you for a piece of chicken. You couldn’t help but notice the amount of cat toys that were kept in the corner of the room, prompting you to think that this wasn’t a spur of the moment kind of thing.

Hoseok blinked owlishly as though you asked an utterly absurd question, one that would never happen. His brows furrowed before he offered you a reassuring smile. “What brought this on?”

You sighed dramatically before plopping down on a surprisingly soft and comfortable mattress. You were even unknowingly pouting, making him want to squish your adorable cheeks in between his hands and cooed down at you. “Well, because I may or may not have ruined your lives because of that drink. But in my defense, which I think is a very good and plausible one and it may actually stand in court, it was never my intention to make you ‘fall in love’ with me and that drink was only gifted to me! Don’t you think I should be given a less harsh punishment?”

“Punishment?” Hoseok repeated to himself, his head tilted to the side as he pondered the notion. Was living with them meant to be some sort of a punishment when this was a big house and you had seven men to cater to your every whim? They would literally give you the world should you asked. “No, honey. Listen, I’m not mad at you. In fact, it’s the opposite.”

“I’m mad at you?” you asked with a hint of humor in your voice before flashing him a grin of your own. You were too adorable and funny, he gushed as he kneeled in front of you. Slowly as though gauging your reaction, he held your hands in between his, running his thumb in a soothing manner when you didn’t pull away. Hoseok couldn’t help but smile widely when he held you. It was such an exhilarating rush, he observed, one that he had never felt before.

In fact, it was an addicting feeling…one that he could not bear to lose.

“We’re not mad,” he began, his voice earnest as he looked up at you from his kneeled form on the carpeted floor. He never knelt for anyone, but for you, he would without any questions asked. “None of us are mad. This is merely a…unique conundrum. But we’ll figure it out. We always do. So don’t worry, okay?

We will take care of it.”

It was well after midnight when the five equally annoyed men strutted inside the mansion. Their faces were painted with discontent, their eyes carrying a certain weight of physical exhaustion and their movements that of strain from being physically away from you.

They were, in fact, practically gritting their teeth from the discomfort and pain.

Kim Seokjin was the first to stride into the room, the heavy oak double-doors slamming against their hinges so forcefully that even Namjoon grew concerned. He meant, for heaven’s sake, he had it custom-ordered from his favorite artist that specialized in wood carving! Anyway, it was a rare sight to see him display any negative emotion as he was always the brother that brought lightness to whatever tense situation he found them in. He was known for his penchant to be kidding around, cracking dad jokes left and right and his laughter was contagious. But those traits were nowhere to be found.

His voice was surprisingly deep as he directed his equally captivating eyes to their lead CEO with darkness even Jimin who was walking behind him found startling. “Don't forget, I'm the one who prepares your food, Kim Namjoon."

Namjoon blinked at that, his hold on his laptop loosening at his hyung’s words. “All is fair in love and war?” he supplemented sheepishly, his fingers lifting to flash him a peace sign to which his hyung merely rolled his eyes to before plopping down the huge sofa and closing his eyes, his long leg stretched out in front of him.

Next to display his displeasure was Park Jimin, the one that was the scariest when mad. “You should have just shipped us to Japan then I’d be able to at least buy my skincare products,” Jimin sassed as he rolled his eyes at the lead CEO. His nose was turned up high as he strutted in the room. Despite the long hours spent travelling, Namjoon could not see any evidence that any single blonde hair was out of place on Jimin’s. “I think I finally know what hatred feels like.”

Last to enter was Taehyung and Jungkook. In his own peculiar way, Taehyung was fake sobbing in Jungkook’s arms while the latter was pouting at Namjoon as he patted the back of the former. “I never thought I’d be betrayed by the person I look up the most!”

“Yah!” Seokjin suddenly opened his eyes in disbelief “You trust him the most when I spend all my money on your food from when you were 13 to now?!”

Jungkook merely nodded, his doe eyes seeing nothing wrong with what he said. Taehyung, on the other hand, suddenly stopped acting and stood up straight to face the occupants of the room. “How are we reduced to this: betraying each other?” his deep voice resounded over the room, holding a tone of certain seriousness. His dark eyes met theirs. “Aren’t we better than this? We are brothers. We are better than animals that kill each other in the wild to survive. We are civilized men who are in the top performers of the society, who are featured in every reputable magazine. We are men that are leaders of-”

“Weren’t you the first to betray us, hyung?” Jungkook suddenly asked, effectively cutting off his speech. His head was tilted to the side as he sat beside Seokjin who was actively pushing him away to no avail, grumbling about how he should sit beside the brother he trusted the most.

“That’s neither here nor there!” Taehyung’s volume increased from guilt, his eyes comically widening.

“How?! It’s literally here! And it’s still here!” Jimin shouted, further antagonizing his agemate to which Taehyung gladly took on. The screaming match went on, with Jin joining, whereas Jungkook chimed in every once in a while, clearly enjoying the ensuing chaos. Every now and then, though, he voiced out how much he missed you. Namjoon was massaging his forehead and quietly telling them to stop and to keep quiet because someone was sleeping. It was only Hoseok who was silently watching his brothers and doing a quiet headcount only to come up short.

“Guys? Aren’t we seven?” He broke his silence for the first time, effectively stopping the loud bickering of the brothers. “Where’s Yoongi?”

The loud bickering of his brothers faded as he slipped inside the mansion without them noticing. To be honest, he did not have the required energy to deal with them, much so when he could barely keep himself upright. He didn’t want to see that traitorous bastard, Kim Namjoon, for more than a second. They all had a piece to say but they were all morons, Yoongi thought. As he trudged up the last step of the stairs, he looked up and there was you.

Min Yoongi couldn’t believe his own eyes. He thought that it was his sanity breaking down from the physical pain he had been feeling since he parted from you, and decided to play cruel games with him in the form of you. But there was no way that you were actually here, right? There was no way you were standing in the hallway in your sleepwear…right?

On the other hand, you blinked and looked at Yoongi’s pale face. He looked like he was straining to hold himself upright, evidenced by his grip on the stair’s handrail. His hands were shaking and you were worried that any moment now, he would fall.

You were proven correct not even a second later.

You watched as his body swayed, his eyes closed and you were moving before you could even think of the repercussion. Without heeding to any of your friend’s warning about touching them, you stepped in just in time to steady his body. The momentum from his combined weight and the gravity made you stepped back as his head found its place on your shoulder. Your arms instinctively wrapped around his broad back to anchor him to you.

“Daepyonim Min,” you called for his attention, gauging his alertness while tapping your hand on his back with a sense of urgency. “Daepyonim Min, you need help. Let me call-”

“Little one,” you heard him breathed you in before speaking so slowly, a tone of disbelief in his voice. “You’re real, aren’t you?” His hand slowly cupped your cheek, needing to feel you, needing to know if the object of his love was truly here. “How?”

“I’m here…but it’s a long story. First, we need help. You’re not okay!”

“You’re here,” he repeated to himself, his voice that of wonder. “I-I’m okay now,” he replied with so much warmth as he struggled to lift himself up to look at you. “I just need to sleep. It’s been a long ass day,” he groaned, the ache from his head was slowly dissipating from the proximity to you, yet its intensity since they landed was at its highest. He knew it would take him the whole night to recuperate. But somehow, he knew he could do it easily with you by his side. He didn’t even care why you were here, or even how you got here. What was important was you were now here where you belong- with them.

Against your better judgement and completely unaware of the thoughts running in his head, you nodded as you followed his directions to his room. Just like his personality that you knew him of, his room was no non-sense in a way that all things were functional. It was apparent that the man favored minimalism and comfort over luxury. It was clean and uncluttered, with just the essentials neatly arranged. The bed, large and inviting, dominated the room, adorned with crisp white sheets and a fluffy comforter. A single nightstand stood beside it, holding a small lamp and a few books.

You helped him settle onto the bed, arranging the pillows behind him to support his weary body. He let out a contented sigh as he sank into the softness, his eyes closing momentarily in relief as the weariness slightly subdued.

"Thank you," he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper, yet filled with gratitude. His eyes held sincerity and warmth. The way he was looking at you, the way he was holding on to your wrist because he didn’t want to let you go only served as reminders of your guilt. He wouldn’t be acting this way if this was normal circumstances.

Your negligence that day brought you here. And those emotions he was showing you were not real, you reminded yourself.

"You're welcome," you replied softly with utmost sincerity, a gentle yet sad smile playing on your lips. "Do you need anything else before I go?"

He had you now, why would he let you go?

It was his rationale as he pulled you to lie beside him, the surprisingly comfortable bed and his enescapable hold were enough to tire you out, you pushing him away did nothing. Despite your inner turmoil, you found yourself yielding to his pull, sinking onto the bed beside him. The warmth of his body radiated against yours, a stark contrast to the chill of your guilt-ridden thoughts.

And when he whispered for you to stay, you did.

It was barely an hour later when Yoongi was awakened by the annoying buzzing of his phone. He looked at you, a smile tugging on his lips at how your mouth was agape as you slumbered off in his arms. You were just so adorable that he wanted to put you in his pocket. He grinned at that thought. He already felt better.

You were the cure, he was sure.

However, the headache seemed to be returning from the persistent phone calls he was getting. He sighed, picking up his phone carefully to not wake you up only to find out it was a videocall from Taehyung.

“Hyung! Where are you?” his deep voice resounded over the quietness of the room. Yoongi, on the other hand, had to lower the volume immediately.

“Shut up,” he admonished him quietly, careful to not arose you from your sleep.

“Are you…sleeping?! When we’re all worried about you?!” the camera spanned out to Seokjin who was eating calmly, lacking any evidence of worry that Taehyung was claiming while Jungkook was running in the background, looking for Yoongi in every corner and even under the furniture. Meanwhile, Jimin was on his phone trying to rank up on his games.

“Yes, you’re right. It’s clear that you’re all worried about me,” he noted in a deadpanned voice, not believing any bullshit coming from Taehyung’s mouth.

Namjoon entered the frame casually, his eyes taking in his hyung’s rested form. He had an inkling of suspicion as to why. “You look well-rested, hyung,” he stated his observation, his complexion looked healthy in comparison to Taehyung’s. Yoongi raised his brow at that. His initial theory that the span of time spent without you was making them sick only got stronger because of Namjoon’s healthier look.

“Did you find our gift?” Hoseok asked from behind the two men, casually hanging his arms on their shoulders. He was smiling. But his eyes held a certain darkness they usually didn’t have.

“I did. We’ll talk tomorrow, yeah?”

Wednesday, Day 2

“No one told me that we have an adorable new housemate.”

The six sleepy men sitting around the dining table looked up as soon as Park Jimin entered the room, in his arms was a fluffy cat that was actively hissing at him. He cooed down at it, softly stroking the thick fur with his hand that was now sporting claw marks.

“We’re already so close!” he announced with softness in his voice despite the repetitive kicks brought by the furry creature in his arm.

“I don’t think you are liked very much…” Jungkook quietly commented, his doe eyes went even larger at the bleeding scratches on his skin. As if sensing an opportunity to escape, the cat suddenly wriggled free from Jimin's arms and darted across the room, landing squarely in Hoseok's lap.

“Hi, my son! Did you have a good night’s sleep?” he asked affectionately, reaching down to stroke the cat's fur.

“Hyung has a secret son!” Jungkook whispered to Taehyung in a scandalous manner, clutching his nonexistent pearls. Taehyung, who looked like he lived and fought through three wars from his exhausted form and his sluggish movement only nodded at Jungkook.

“Whose cat is that? Is that yours, J-hope?” Jin asked, pointing at the cat with his mug. He didn’t know that they now had a furry housemate. Additionally, he didn’t know that he was a cat person.

Namjoon just smirked at his brothers, “That’s not his.”

“My God, I am so tired,” Jimin sat next to Taehyung, his muscles aching with exhaustion. With a heavy sigh, he leaned his whole weight on his friend, seeking some semblance of comfort in their shared weariness.

"Everything hurts," Taehyung moaned, mirroring Jimin's sentiment. He glanced over at Namjoon, pleading silently for a solution. "We need her. Hyung, please. Do something," he implored, his voice tinged with desperation.

Jungkook finally put down his spoon with a loud thud, standing up to look at them one by one. “Okay, I cannot be the only one curious about whose cat that is!” he pointed at the cat who only meowed back at him before shifting his finger to his hyung who was silently eating with a smile on his face. “And you, why do you look so good this morning, hyung, while the four of us look like we are 3 hours away from passing away?” he asked Yoongi, his doe eyes demanding answers from the chaotic bunch that only turned more chaotic as the morning wore on.

Yoongi, taking a leisurely sip of his coffee, raised an eyebrow at Jungkook's question. His lips curled into a smirk, revealing a hint of amusement. "Well, Kookie, some of us are just naturally blessed with good genes," he quipped, his tone teasing.

“Excuse me?! Are you saying that I am not blessed with good genes?! Me?! The world wide handsome?! Now, you’re just outright lying!”

“Hyuuuuung, do something! I think I’m dying!” Taehyung shouted amidst the noise.

“Stop screaming you’re scaring my son!” Hoseok shot back all while covering the cat’s little ears.

“Whose cat is that even?!” Jungkook asked again in disbelief, the vein in his throat protruding from annoyance and curiosity.

“Oh my God, Taehyung! I already did something, okay?!” Namjoon finally raised his voice for him to hear.

“Ahhhhhhh, my head hurts and she’s the only cure! I have to go to her!” Jimin whined sadly, attempting to leave his chair slowly.

“In that state?!” Jin shouted at Jimin and Taehyung, already feeling the stress causing havoc on his otherwise beautiful face.

But Taehyung and Jimin were already halfway out of their chair, clutching their heads dramatically. "I can't take this anymore! I need her!" he wailed, his eyes darting around the room with desperation only to find you by some miracle.

“Little one…” he called, his voice small as though he couldn’t believe that you were truly there. It was like their pain manifested you, and heavens, it was worth it. He’d willingly go through this pain if it meant seeing you and having you here where you belonged.

With them.

“Good morning, has anyone seen my cat?”

Your voice, despite it being low, was sufficient to effectively stop the bickering among the CEOs. How they heard you amidst their own noise, you didn’t know. One thing was for certain, though. They were attuned to you like lovesick men did. Their eyes were on you with varying emotions. Jungkook was surprised, to say the least. Taehyung and Jimin, on the other hand, were relieved. Yoongi's smirk widened into a grin, his eyes sparkling with delight at the sight of you. Seokjin stared at you in disbelief, as if trying to comprehend how you managed to appear amidst the chaos. Namjoon and Hoseok exchanged a knowing glance, their expressions reflecting a sense of contentment and joy. The pair looked like they secured an extremely important deal and even won the lottery at the same day.

You didn’t see Taehyung moved but you certainly felt how his heavy body fell against yours. You certainly heard his sigh of relief even as he swayed on his feet.

And when you touched his hand to support him, that was when he fell.

Suffice to say, no one made it to the office today.

You were seated beside Taehyung on the sofa, his thighs plastered to yours as though any space was considered a sin. He had your hand tenderly imprisoned in his. On your other side was Jimin who had his head in the vee of your shoulders. You were their medicine, they were sure.

Meanwhile, you were anything but comfortable. You were never really a fan of skinship, always the one who was reserved and preferred physical distance when surrounded by people. And yes, you were aware that thousands, if not millions, would kill to be in your spot right now but that didn’t make you any more receptive to their proximity. You couldn’t move even if you wanted to, not with the way they were watching you.

Especially not with the way Hoseok’s eyebrow raised whenever you even so much as attempted to move. His pointed gaze held you in place, a silent warning against any attempt to flee.

You were stiff. But you knew, and quite frankly you were starting to believe the effectivity and potency of that wretched potion. You already witnessed five of the seven men almost crumbled to the ground from the unbearable pain. There was no way that that was not connected to that potion.

 “When did the pain start, Taehyung-ah?” Seokjin asked as he flustered over the younger CEO. He was pouring hot tea for the two agemate, his innate mother instinct surfacing. Despite that, he couldn’t help but look at you with small smile on his lips. He was happy that you were here, truly happy for the first time in ages. It was like his heart calmed down, the darkness slowly vanishing from his mind now that you were in their vicinity. Now, he could just focus on taking care of you

“At around 6 pm…less than 12 hours after little one ran from me,” he finished with his signature pout, turning to you as though he was a puppy you kicked aside and was begging you to take it back. “I was so sad when you ran from me, little one.”

“You also ran from me,” Jimin added, his pouty lips protruding even more as he glared at you. “It deeply wounded me. I am still hurt over that, you know? I woke up so early just to see you.”  

“She also ran from me…” Jungkook's voice joined the chorus from his place on the floor with his back leaning on your knees, adding his own layer of disappointment.

“Then why didn’t you say anything?” Namjoon asked the peculiar man in concern, his worry lessening as Taehyung started to gain back his colors.

“Because! Hyung looked sicker than me!” Taehyung response was quick while pointing at Yoongi who was looking at them stoically. He looked bored, except when he turned to look at you and then all of a sudden, he was shooting sweet smile at your direction, his fingers forming heart sign. You blinked owlishly at his sudden display of affection.

“You idiot, he’s just naturally pale!” Seokjin admonished him even as he continued to feed him light snacks.

“Next time, say something when you’re not feeling well,” Hoseok broke his silence, a smile forming on his lips and you just knew it was fake. “Our little one is with us now. We no longer have to suffer, right, sunshine?”

The weight of Hoseok's words hung in the air, wrapped in the softness and faux innocence of his tone. It almost seemed like an innocent question, but you couldn't shake the feeling of caution that settled in the pit of your stomach. After all, it was Hoseok who ensnared you in his web and brought you into this situation.

Seokjin, sensing the tension between the two of you, directed your focus on him. His body was now turned to you, his form relaxed as he offered you a gentle and encouraging smile. “How did you get here, little one?”

“Daepyeonims Kim and Jung-“

“I take back what I said last night. I love you and you’re the best leader anyone could ever have!” Jimin suddenly said, jumping from his seat to cling to the aforementioned CEO. After which, the five of them listened to your retelling of how you got here.

“It’s true that we had an inkling of why we are acting…well, the way we are,” Seokjin noted after a lapse of silence, looking down at his hands as he did so. “It was the only plausible explanation, regardless of how illogical it was.”

“We weren’t- aren’t behaving normally. We thought back to everything that transpired during that day and the only deviation was our interaction with you.,” Namjoon took charge of the explanation, his voice steady and authoritative, as befitting a leader. “At first, the symptoms were bearable to say the least. I even managed to hold off for the whole day until I saw you in the elevator. And even then, I was already suffering. The pain was nothing I ever experienced before. All I could think about was you. All I craved was your presence. All I wanted that whole day was to go to you.”

Yoongi nodded, experiencing firsthand the excoriating pain last night. “Everything was a struggle. It’s like our organs were not functioning properly, like oxygen struggled to enter our lungs no matter how hard we breathed.”

“And you are the cure.”

You lifted your eyes to Park Jimin who sounded serious for the first time this morning. His smile was even missing from his face, but his eyes held genuineness. “You’re the only one we need, little one.”

But instead of feeling relieved, you felt suffocated, overwhelmed by the weight of their dependence on you. The realization that you held the key to their well-being filled you with a sense of panic, the walls closing in around you. You wanted to help them, to ease their suffering, but the burden felt too heavy to bear. With all seven of them relying on you, the pressure threatened to crush you under its weight.

As you struggled to find your voice amidst the chaos, a sense of dread settled in the pit of your stomach. The repercussions of that potion were far greater than you could have ever imagined, and now, you were left to grapple with the consequences. “Until when?”

You untangled Taehyung’s arms from you and moved away despite the whine that left Jimin. You stood up, your back almost to the wall as you regarded them with your eyes. “Until when will you need me?”

“We don’t know, yet, my love,” Namjoon answered truthfully at the same time Taehyung.

“Forever,” his deep voice resounded over the room, the weight of his words heavy in the air.

Silence descended, thick and palpable, as the gravity of the situation settled upon each of you like a suffocating blanket. The only sound was the faint hum of the ventilation system, a stark contrast to the turmoil raging within your mind.

Forever. The word echoed in your ears, reverberating with both promise and dread. The thought of being tethered to them indefinitely sent shivers down your spine, a chilling reminder of the magnitude of their reliance on you.

Jimin shifted uncomfortably, his eyes pleading as he reached out a hand towards you. "Please, don't leave us," he implored, his voice tinged with desperation.

Your shoulders dropped down at his plea. You knew yourself all too well. You had to help them. You had to go at the bottom of this. You were going to be patient.

But patience was never your best suit.

You finally had it at exactly five in the afternoon. See you didn’t even last for 10 hours and you already felt suffocated. Anywhere you went, there would be at least two of them tailing you. Every time you turned to ask for space, they would be flashing you the sweetest smiles you were ever given. Every time you ran into Yoongi, he would blatantly offer you all his stocks; Jin was always seen to be carrying snacks around for you and trying to feed you; Namjoon would always try to herd you in his display room of paintings and sculptures; while Hoseok would always look at you then his phone and order you clothes that you wouldn’t even dream of buying from the price alone.

Meanwhile, the maknae line was always around you, beaming with energy and trying their very best to rizz you up. It was safe to say that they were doing their absolute best to make you lose your composure.

Which is why you abruptly stopped walking, turned around, and glared at the men behind you that almost crashed into each other, including your cat that was following you around the house.

“May I help you?” you asked, your brow raised as you waited for their answer as they looked at each other.

“Yes, little one. You definitely can help us. Let’s go over there and cuddle!” Jimin smiled angelically at you as he pointed upstairs to what you assumed was his room. See, this man looked so harmless. In fact, you thought he looked the sweetest among the seven, but his eyes could never fool you. You physically saw someone blushed so hard when he smiled at them, his eyes crinkling into crescents as he brushed his hair up like he was fond of doing.

On the other hand, Taehyung, ever the agreeable companion to Jimin, nodded vigorously, his boxy smile widening as he looked at you expectantly. Jungkook was bouncing on his feet, excited with the prospect that he got to have you in his arms despite his inability to meet your eyes at the moment.

Wednesday Evening, Day 2

“We need to talk,” you huffed as you pushed the three men inside what you assumed was the common room of this huge mansion.

Seokjin, who was already inside the room and enthusiastically playing his game, rapidly turned it off despite obviously winning to give you all his attention. His back was straightened after kicking his gaming console away. The way he was looking at you made you blushed, but you were deathly determined to not show it. You were terrified that if you gave in even an inch, then these men would gladly take a mile. You couldn’t let yourself drown in this scenario, and most of all, you shouldn’t let yourself fall for them.

These were just effects of that wretched potion. None of these were real.

“Yes, little one? What’s on your mind?” Namjoon’s voice suddenly disrupted your thoughts as he walked in the room, his posture relaxed. He intentionally brushed against your side, his hard muscles softly swaying your soft one, satisfying the call inside him to have you near him. He leaned against the table where Hoseok and Yoongi were working. They both gave you their attention as soon as you declared that conversation needed to be had.

“Speak your mind, sunshine,” Hoseok urged you gently with a smile on his face as though he didn’t terrify you the night before. Your eyes lingered on him, still unable to read his true personality. Or which among the versions he showed you were his realest?

Yoongi nodded when he saw you hesitated, giving you assurance you obviously needed to continue.

“I need space.”

Cue the tears from Jungkook, chaos from Taehyung and Jimin, rapid reasoning from Seokjin, dramatic clutching of heart from Yoongi partnered with a deathly glare to the who he assumed made you say those wretched word; maknae line, clenched of jaw from Namjoon and deafening silence from Hoseok. Despite the expected mixed reaction, one emotion rose above them all.

Panic.

As though they had one mind, the six CEOs turned to look at Namjoon, a plead for him to make sense of what was happening and to fix this for them. It was obvious that they needed you like air, if not more. Their survival hinged on you, and that was not even an overstatement.

Seokjin, ever perceptive, sensed the uncharacteristic struggle within the lead CEO. Namjoon’s jaw was, a sure sign of his struggle to maintain composure in the face of the unexpected. In a move only Seokjin could execute with dramatic flair, he jumped away from you, creating a symbolic distance that echoed your plea. He pointedly looking at the expanse of space between of the two of you as though this was what you meant when you knew he understood what you truly meant by space.

“There, little one,” Seokjin spoke softly, his voice carrying a weight that resonated through the room. His eyes were dark that held a mix of understanding and yet, a stubborn determination. “Space.”

You sighed, looking up at the peculiar-looking chandelier you just knew was Taehyung’s idea. “That’s not what I meant-”

“Then what do you mean?” Taehyung cut you off, his earlier tirade and childlike rebellion with his agemate were nowhere to be found and instead, who stood before you was an entirely different man. Had you looked closer, then perhaps you would have seen the swirling darkness in his eyes.

“You know we’d die without you. Why are you doing this?” Yoongi, who was still clutching his heart, spoke lowly. His eyes that you thought to be always emotionless were brimming with sadness. His words tugged at your heart.

But if they just let you speak, then they’d understood-

“Is that what you want?” Hoseok asked monotonously, and this time he didn’t look like the lively and full of sunshine CEO. This time, he looked like a dangerous man who was about to go off. He lifted his dark brow before standing up and circling to where you were. He was close, too close and yet, none of him was touching you. The height difference between the two of you made him seemed more intimidating as he leaned down to meet your eyes. “You want us to die, is that it? Hmm?”

“No-“

“Then what?”

“I just need space for myself-“

“But noona! I need you. We need yo-“

You turned to glare at Jungkook who actively gulped when he saw the daggers in your eyes. “Can you let me speak? Can you all let me finish?”

“Yes, noona. Sorry, noona. You’re so beautiful, noona,” he rapidly said as he formed hearts with his fingers, his smile was lovely as though he didn’t just annoy you.

“All of you,” Namjoon’s commanding voice echoed in the room, his draconic eyes set on you even as he addressed his brothers. “Sit down and let little one talk.”

Once they were all settled in with the five men sitting on the sofa, Yoongi not moving from his seat, and Namjoon standing tall- a deliberate choice, you thought, to let you know that you might have the floor but he still held the reins, you started explaining to them how you could not do this if it meant that you wouldn’t have any time for yourself. In order to leave this house once this was all over with your sanity intact, then you had to have rules and regulations like civil men did.

Yoongi's eyes narrowed slightly, as if assessing your resolve. Jin shifted in his seat, his expression unreadable. Hoseok glanced between you and Namjoon, silently absorbing the tension. Taehyung and Jungkook remained quiet, their eyes fixed on you, waiting for your conditions. Jimin scoffed lightly.

“What do you propose?” Jimin asked, his velvet smooth voice seemed to be innocent had you not known that he identified as a Slytherin.

“2 hours each. I think that since there are seven of you, that would be 14 hours of my day-“

“Dibs to the remaining 10 hours!” Yoongi suddenly said, his hand shooting up and his face held determination and a hint of mischief. The room fell silent, all eyes turning to Yoongi as he leaned back comfortably in his chair, a sly grin playing on his lips.

Jimin raised an eyebrow, his expression unreadable for a moment before a smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Bold move, Yoongi," he remarked, his tone light but edged with amusement. "I, myself, am also vying for those ten hours, little one."

Yoongi shrugged nonchalantly, uncaring of what Jimin was saying. "I know what I want," he stated simply, crossing his arms as he leaned back further in his seat, looking supremely confident. “And anyway, now that I had her in my arms last night, I really don’t think I can sleep alone, anymore.”

“Excuse me?!” Taehyung stood up, facing Yoongi with disbelief in his face. “How did that happen-”

“Does being the oldest not mean anything anymore?!”

“You might as well step on me, hyung! You might as well kick me where it hurts the most- oh wait! You did!”

 You shook your head as maknae line plus Seokjin screamed at each other. Meanwhile, Hoseok was trying to keep the peace. Namjoon was the only one who kept on watching you, his mind going over an overdrive as to how to resolve this all while maintaining their leverage over you and keeping you happy.               

“Fine, we accept.”

They all turned to Namjoon, their eyes comically large at how easy their leader agreed. “We do?” Hoseok asked.

“Either that or lose her. Or die. So yes, we agree. In return, within those two hours of your undivided attention, you’ll cater to our every need.”

You blinked owlishly at what he said. And also, did he have to say that like that?!

“F-fine! But those ten hours will truly be mine, okay?”

“What will you even do within those ten hours, noona?” Jungkook asked innocently, his doe eyes brimming with curiosity.

“Shower, sleep, eat, meditate so as to not lose my mind-“

“But why can’t we do all those things together?” Jimin whined, swaying his body in emphasis of his desire to be included.

“Because! That’s private-“

“But we’re close!” Jungkook added, his eyes wide and earnest.

“Oh my God, you idiot,” you heard Seokjin murmured under his breath, disappointed and quite frankly, embarrassed by the youngest’s stubbornness.

“Two hours start when?” Hoseok finally asked something that could be answered logically.

“7 in the morning and ends at 9 in the evening.”

Thursday morning, Day 3

“Rise and shine, my one and only!”

Your room was gently engulfed by light as Kim Seokjin opened the door at exactly 7 in the morning. He was still wearing his blue pajamas and in his hands was a tray with what looked to be a delectable mug of coffee. You blinked your sleepiness away as he stepped in the room. He carefully placed the tray on your bedside table, before cupping your cheeks in between his hands and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead.

Okay.

That woke you up.

His gesture was unexpected, and it most probably showed on your face from the way he chuckled as he booped your nose.

“Ah, you’re so beautiful even in the morning, little one!” He exclaimed before stepping back and flicking the curtains open further, letting even more sunlight stream into the room. How was this fair, you wondered. How could he look so perfect and put-together even when he was still in his sleepwear? You glanced at the mirror on the wall and was horrified to see how opposite you looked to the man who just declared that you were so beautiful in the morning.

If you didn’t believe in the effectivity of the potion before, then you definitely did now. Your hair was all over the place and you had sleep in your eyes.

And oh my God, was that a dried drool on the side of your lips?!

You immediately made yourself presentable the best you could before Seokjin sat on your bed, lifting his own mug to his lips…his very plump lips. He was unfazed by your awkward demeanor.

“I am so glad I have this schedule. Nothing beats spending the morning with you,” he murmured warmly, his eyes shining with sincerity and love(?) “I made breakfast, little one. Get ready and come down, okay?”

It was quarter to eight when you finally joined him in the patio where he set up the breakfast. He was already dressed for work like you, his hair now sleeked up. Also, how could a forehead look that good? Did that even make any sense?!

He turned to you and smiled. His eyes traced your form before standing. He gently tugged you in his arms, completely engulfing you within him. You could hear his heart and hoped that he couldn’t hear yours; it was definitely embarrassing how fast yours was beating in comparison to his. You weren’t really used to being physically close to anyone, let alone your CEOs that you never had personal interactions with before this.

“I didn’t put on at tie yet because I wanted us to match,” he easily shared in your ear before guiding you to your seat as though what he did was not meant to make your heart beat faster.

You looked at all the mouthwatering dishes he prepared and wondered just how long he had been awake for. “Where are the others?” you hadn’t seen nor heard any of them in the house and you wondered if they had already eaten.

Seokjin merely smiled at you before artfully cutting pieces of the croissant he made for you and putting them on your plate. “Little one, it’s my time. You’re mine.”

“For two hours…” you added, suddenly feeling ominous by the way he worded his schedule and his dark eyes despite the sweet and seemingly harmless smile he was sporting.

“Sure.”

After he dropped you off in your office wherein he held your hand all the way from the car until he delivered you to your office chair, he planted a kiss on the back of your hand despite your reluctance. You couldn’t help but noticed the grip he had on you, nor the way he looked around the office and glared at any men glancing your way.

And of course, everyone in the office saw.

At exactly 9:01 am, a bouquet of flower was sent to your office. The sender? None other than Jung Hoseok himself.

He was sure to be punctual, not wasting any second off his scheduled time. He thought that time was gold, and he wanted nothing more since he woke up to be with you.

Sufficed to say, Jung Hoseok craved you so bad.

Your eyes widened from the sunflowers to him as he flashed you his sunny smile as though he didn’t scare you the past days with his warnings. “For the most beautiful part of my day.”

You could hear the murmurs of your officemates, and you were already dreading the gossips that would surely come. You wondered how they would look at you once this was all over. For sure, you’d be the laughing stock of the ton.

You most probably have to resign…

“Darling?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

Hoseok tilted his head as he leaned in you, his hand on your armrest. This close and you could smell him. And heavens. He smelled heavenly. He smelled clean and crisp, like the subtle touch of ocean breeze. This close and you could see how perfect his features were, how harmoniously proportionate they were. This close and you could see the darkness he always kept in bay.

“What are you thinking?”

“N-nothing-“

“Tell me,” he demanded gently, his eyes trained on your lips like no one was looking, like you and him were existing in your own world where no one could touch you and take you away from him.

Where no one could take you away from them.

“I-“

“Good morning! I have great, great news!”

Your friend breezed into the office, fashionably late as usual, her face lit up with excitement. The room buzzed with curious glances as she made her way to her desk, her eyes searching until they landed on yours. The grin she was sporting faltered off as the CEO turned to her with an expression she didn’t like before it all went away and Hoseok flashed her a smile.

“G-good morning, Daepyeonim Jung.”

“Good morning,” he answered cheerfully, fully straightening up and granting you the much-needed space to catch your breath. “What’s your good news?”

She looked at you, and only when you nodded did she whisper the news that her grandmother knew someone from the mountains that had the answer and solution. Her voice was hushed enough that your coworkers couldn’t hear her, yet clear enough to give you hope. Your grin was so wide as you stood up and hugged her.

It was only when you turned to Hoseok to share your happiness did you notice something unsettling. His expression had darkened briefly, a shadow passing over his features before he hastily composed himself with a bright smile.

What was that?

Before you could dwell on that, he declared it good news and pulled you out of the office.

You found yourself standing in the middle of his office as he plopped down on his chair, stack of paper on his table that grew in size from missing yesterday’s work. He seemed busy, yet he was looking expectedly at you. His eyes were serious as he gestured for you to come closer.

It was apparent he wasn’t happy with the distance when you decided to stop three feet away from him. His eyes remained impassive as he sighed and without any warning, pulled you to him. You landed on his surprisingly muscular lap, your hands automatically going to his shoulders in an effort to steady you.

Your eyes widened at his actions and any attempt to stand up was squashed by his ironlike grip around you.

“Didn’t you promise you’d cater to our every need when we agreed on that ridiculous two-hour schedule?”

“And having me on your lap is a need?!”

“It is. I want- no. I need you close,” and only when he confessed did you see the miniscule tremors in his hands. He was nuzzling his face on your neck, breathing in the scent he missed so much. Your soft skin against his touch somehow calmed the demons. If he was already like this despite you seeing him last night, then it meant that their symptoms were worsening like what your friend warned you of. The more time you spent with them and the more that your skins touched meant that their lovesickness would only worsen in time.

You were dreading to think what would happen to the remaining CEOs and how they would act, more so when Jimin and Namjoon were in the last two.

Namjoon's schedule sneakpeak

[theonlyadawong]

despite not watching the show, ive already seen so many people ignore the racial power imbalance between l.ouis and l.estat

[smutzslxt]

I WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME THERE| S.Gojo x fem!reader

ꨄSynopsis:Everyone thought that Satoru Gojo was a good looking man with a flawless personality ,but you knew that wasn’t true.That man hates you and you don’t even know why, but you are about to find out.

ꨄpairing: Bully!Satoru x popular-fem!reader

ꨄWC: 2001

ꨄrated: mature ,18+,mdni

ꨄCW: Heavy smut, dom!fem!reader x sub!gojo, dick riding, characters are 18+,p in v,semi public sex (in a changing room),pet names (Angel,good boy,Whore), getting caught.

ꨄA/N :we all love submissive satoru, right?

Whenever people tell you how great Satoru Gojo is , you just roll your eyes. Nothing was great about this idiot maybe he looked good, but he was an ignorant, eogoistic asshole.

You didn’t like him, but don’t worry, the feeling is mutual. Whenever your eyes meet each other, they shine full of hatred that you had for each other.

Whenever he had the opportunity, he embarrassed you, he ‘accidentally’ spills his drink over your white blouse, he bumps into you whenever he had a chance and the worst…he spreads rumors about you.

These rumors endangered your popularity rank. Every time you enter school there are new rumors about you.” Have you heard it, people say she got fingered by someone in class”

What nonsense, you thought when you walked through the hallway. Every time you walked past people, they started whispering.” People say she has given someone a blowjob in the toilet a week ago”

Your eyes found those of the students who were 1-2 younger than you.So how dare these nobodies to talk about you this way.

“Do you have anything to tell me?” You said when you put yourself in front of the anxious girl. She looked at her friend who seemed just as intimidated as she was. How pathetic.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered and didn’t even dare to look at you. “Who do you think you are to spread rumours about me“Again and again you were in the same situation.

People talk about you ,behind your back, and then they don’t even dare to open their mouths in front you. Your hands clenched into fists as you felt all the looks of other students on you.

“Who told you this stupid rumor?” It was actually already clear who it was. You just wanted to hear it from her mouth. The other rumors were more harmless but to tell around that you were fingered in class or that you have given someone a blowjob in the school toilet simply crosses the line.

“A boy from the upper class he has white hair and blue eyes”Satoru Gojo this stupid jerk. Anger spread in your body and a layer of goose bumps formed on your skin when you imagined what you are going to do with this blue-eyed motherfucker now.

“If I find out again that you’re telling rumors about me again, it gets very unpleasant between us, do you understand?” The hasty nod of the intimidated girl was like a start signal for you.

You sprint along the hallway in search of the boy who called himself the strongest. The anticipation of hurting his big ego caused the corners of your mouth to rise.

A loud ringing sounded through the corridors and then you finally saw something - or rather someone who could help you find your prey.

“Suguru” you shouted loudly through the brightly lit room. Like on command, he turned in your direction, just like other students who looked at you questionably but that didn’t interest you at all right now.

With a quick step, you walked towards your bully’s best friend and stood right in front of him.You skillfully ignored personal space at the moment you stood on your toes to be on an equal footing with him.

“Is there anyone else inside?” You asked and pointed your thumb at the changing room.” Only Satoru, but I had no more nerves to sit in there while he looks at himself in the mirror”

An insidious grin formed on your face. The success of finally standing up to him was so close you could feel it.” I’m going for a smoke and waiting for the idiot, do you want to keep me company for so long?”

In contrast to Gojo, Suguru was always nice to you, sometimes you even spent time together but you were disturbed by Satoru every time.

You don’t really know what happened, but you also got along well, but at some point he just started to hate you and you just couldn’t find out the reason why he did.

“I still have to do something”Geto nodded and said goodbye to you.” See you tomorrow,” he said and waved one last time before he made his way to the exit.

Your eyes searched through the hallway and when you didn’t see anyone, you opened the door to the changing rooms and huried in.

“What the hell” you heard a very well-known voice whispering behind you when you quietly closed the door behind you. “What are you doing here?” The white-haired egoist asked you as your eyes stared at each other.

To think about standing up to Satoru and then really putting it into action is a very big difference ,you just realised.

“You’re treating me like shit,” you finally said and looked at him bitterly. “I was still okay with you spilling your drink on me or bump into me whenever you had the chance but you crossed the border by spreading these horrible rumors about me” Without really thinking about your words, they flooded out of your mouth in the second you met his pissed look.

“How do you know that was me?” He spoke in a deep voice and drove through his hair with his hand while he rolled his eyes like he was annoyed.” It’s obvious, besides, I was told that you are the one who spread these rumours”

Cristal blue eyes looked down at you as he took a few steps towards you.” Well you are right it was me, what do you want to about it?” He stood right in front of you when he asked you this question.

“Why are you doing this” you felt intimidated by him at the moment and the many feelings that fought in your body did not exactly make it easier for you in this situation.

“Because I hate you” he put his hands on the door behind you right next to your head, which made it impossible to escape now.

“The feeling is mutual” you don’t know what exactly had happened but in the second when the last word rolled over your lips you felt a soft lips pressing hard on yours. You needed time to realize that Satoru Gojo was kissing you.

You don’t return the kiss - no, on the contrary, you push him away from you and you could feel how his ego was hurt, but this only strengthened yours.

Confidently, you took a step towards him and stood on your toes.” You say you hate me and the next moment you kiss me, that confuses me a little” your nose tip touched his and you could feel his deep breath on your lips.

Your hands laid on his shoulders when you pushed him back so that he sat on the bench behind him. You don’t waste a second and immediately sit on his lap.

“How much do you hate me, Satoru?” You whisper against his lips when your hips began to roll against his. The hardness that formed in his pants does not go unnoticed, just like the wetness in your thong.

“Every time I see you I want to embarrass you in front of everyone, I want everyone to hate you so that you don’t have anyone-“ a soft moan escaped his mouth before he could finish talking.

“Except-“ you could feel how he pressed his cock more and more against your clit, which made you lean your head back and moan hardly audibly.

“Me” when you heard that, you stopped moving your hip, which made your clit throb. Your shocked expression made him talk again.

“I don’t want you to need anyone else but me” it could have sounded like a love confession, but for you it didn’t. To you it sounded like he wanted to own you as if you were just an object.

“You are an idiot” you put your hand on his belt and removed it from his pants,you dropped it on the floor next to you and the same happened to his pants until he was only in shorts and a shirt.

When you got up from his lap, he was about to pull you back on it, but you slapped his hands away.” can’t you wait a second,” you said annoyed.

He didn’t know what you were doing until he saw from the corner of his eye how the skirt you had on fell on the floor. When his eyes lingered on your red thong, you began to grin wide.

“I can’t believe it” you laughed out loud as you took off your thong.”I’m about to fuck with you” it felt like you were just given a trophy when you saw Satoru’s needy expression.

Without really thinking about it, Satoru took off his shorts and let them rest with the rest of your clothes. Your eyes were wide when you saw how long his cock was. At least 9 inches and thick, you wondered if your hand would fit completely around it.

“Actually, I thought guy’s with a big ego had a small cock but Satoru you surprised me once again ” you sit on his lap and rub your wet pussy against his hard dick.

When you positioned yourself over his cock, you felt his hands stop you. “I should-“ you knew what he wanted, but you wouldn’t let him.

Your hand laid on Gojo’s cheek when you said your next words.” You tell everyone that I am a slut, then let me show you what kind of slut I am”

His hands stayed on your hip as his tip ,with pre cum over it,entered your pussy. You were on the pill so a condom was not necessary.” If I already had as many cocks in me as you tell everyone, then you don’t have to prepare me.” You let yourself sink more and more until he was half inside you.

The unpleasant burning feeling made you bite your lip hard. It would have been a better idea if he had prepared you beforehand, but you didn’t want to give him this triumph.

Satoru’s fingers kneaded your ass as you took more of his cock into you. His breath became faster and he closed his eyes as he enjoyed the feeling of your tight pussy.

“What a whore you are, you look like you are fighting the urge not to cum right now” Your fingers stroked his cheek which made him open his eyes and look at you.

Like a queen on her throne, you sat on him and after you had finally took all 9 inches of his cock into you, you began to move your hip.

Satoru’s hands helped you ride him.He starts hissing when he felt you get tighter the moment your brought down your hand to rub your thumb against your clit.

You start to move your hips slowly, finding the perfect rhythm and pace. The way your warm walls contract around him and suck him in made him lean his head against the wall behind him and moan out.You weren’t better whenever he reached your g-spot you were screaming- not even caring about the people that could hear you.

“Be a good boy and cum inside me”you said and the second he felt that he was about to cum he connected your mouth with his.Thrusting inside you from below in a fast pace.He’s totally ignoring your rhythm and starts fucking you like you are his right hand.

“Fuck Angel”he whispered in between the kiss and groaned loud.The moment you felt his hot cum covering your walls, it made you cum as well.You two were moaning messes.While Satoru was still thrusting his dick inside you from below ,your pussy milked him dry.

“That’s a shock”the both of you looked towards the door and saw Suguru standing there with a big smile on his face.

“Why didn’t you both ask me to join?”

[doberbutts]

Genuine question: What do you think of the argument that very white-passing folks — even if they have black parents, grandparents, etc. — cannot call themselves black?

Personally I think whether or not you're black depends on your actual lived reality. My nephew is white passing. He's from the sister who is about the same tone as me, just a little lighter, and the same racial mixture of Irish and afronative, and his very German father. He's got white skin and blonde hair and blue eyes and genuinely if you didn't know that little boy was technically black you would not guess it.

However. He lives with his visibly black mother, his visibly black sister (same racial mix as him, she just got the darker genes), and their visibly black stepfather and visibly black stepsiblings. He's the odd man out, the lightest of the group, and the one that looks like he doesn't belong. And, when you see him next to his family... suddenly the white skin and blonde hair and blue eyes don't cut it for determining his whiteness, because you start to notice that he shares a whole lot of features with the darker skinned members of his family.

Like me, he's put his foot down about his blackness. If asked at school why he's white but his family is black, he will outright state that he's mixed race and that he is actually black and white just like his sister and mother. He's not wrong. He IS black and white and no small part Native, though I think the complexity of the last part is hard for him to grasp at his elementary school level understanding of race politics.

But what is his reality? Well, when he's with his white father, or my white (passing) mother, he's white. Until he opens his mouth to defend his sister or his mother or a friend of his from racism, at which point said racist's eyes laser-focus on every minute detail of his face to pick out the non-European features covered in pale skin.

This is honestly pretty similar to how a Jewish friend of mine describes her experience, how she is white until she opens her mouth to say something positive about Judiasm or negative about antisemitism, at which point every possible Jewish feature on her face comes under intense scrutiny and her white status is revoked immediately. It's also why I'm always on this "antisemitism 🤝 antiblackness" thing.

I also have a Hungarian friend who is equally peeved at the flattening of racial nuance, as he and his family consider themselves mixed race and Eurasian and not just white, however he has had equal amount of people hurting him for his more blatantly Asian features as he's had people telling him he never experiences racism because he's a white European. Similarly, his reality is that he's white until he says something that doesn't align with white supremacy's rules on white opinion and white behavior, at which point every single Asian feature he has is used as punishment against him.

It's not to say that my nephew, my Jewish friend, or my Hungarian friend don't benefit from their perceived whiteness. They do, in fact! My nephew again is a bit young to have this conversation, but my friends have also discussed with me how they have seen that perception occasionally give them a boost as they move through life. And how, if they would want to keep that boost, they'd have to lean into the concept of whiteness and erase a significant portion of their identities in the process.

This is also spoken about at length by Natives forced to assimilate and intermarry with white people to "breed out the savage", as it were. And I know of lightskinned, though imo not white passing, black people who have discussed the same thing. This even is discussed by people in the Irish, Italian, Greek, and Polish diaspora here in the US- how their current status of "white" came at the cost of not only erasing huge portions of their own culture and history but also practically requires them to lean into white supremacy in order to continue to reap the benefits of white privilege, and how the cost is so much higher than the gain especially when you understand that it doesn't work. You can be One Of The Good Ones all you like and someone dedicated to racism is still going to hate you even once you've gotten rid of all the obvious poc.

To put it simply, these aren't new conversations and I'm never going to be anywhere remotely close to "white-passing" so it's sort of a moot point for me. It's not my reality. But I think listening to those who have lived it is better for gaining a more solid understanding. I don't think that my nephew is wrong to call himself black or mixed black. It's technically true, he came out of a black woman. I also think he is going to have a very different life from his sister, from his mother, from his stepfather and stepsiblings, from his black extended family.

I think rejection from the black community would only hurt him, because he is growing up surrounded by black people in a black family learning black culture, so someone telling him that he shares the same features and DNA but his skin is too light to find community there is just hurtful. Who does it help? Who does it protect? To tell a little kid that he can't call himself part of his own family?

[jellybonbons]

Calm husband x Assertive wife headcanons

DI!Leon Kennedy x fem!reader

A/N: heavily inspired by safa and fahad’s relationship from dubai bling.

Leon with a wife who is a bit of a firecracker—she's got that bratty streak, a stubborn side, and isn't afraid to speak her mind. But beneath all that, she's also incredibly understanding, compassionate, and fiercely loyal (only to him and her loved ones).

After all he's been through, he's looking for someone who can keep him grounded, bring him back down to earth, or just take charge in the relationship. He wants to be pampered and taken care of.

Leon, who's all about going with the flow, has this "it is what it is" mindset, but you, his wife, are the one who calls the shots on his behalf. As Leon grew older, he stopped giving fucks except for his darling wife.

Take driving, for example. If someone cuts him off, he's the type to shrug it off. But you? You're the one with road rage, ready to give them a piece of your mind. And when his order gets messed up, he'll just eat it, but not you. You'll be marching up to the manager, making sure he gets what he paid for because, hey, it's all about getting your his money's worth.

"Sweetheart, it's fine, really," he said, offering a small smile.

"No, it's not. You specifically said no chilli. And what do they do? Add it in anyway. It's like they're gunning for you," you replied, clearly irritated and a tad dramatic. Poor white man can't handle his spice.

Sometimes you'd push the limit, and he'd have your back. But once you're home and out of the public eye, he'll give you a lecture about where you went wrong. It might take you a minute to actually hear him out because, let's face it, you're stubborn. But he's got his tricks to make sure you eventually listen, if you know what I mean.

People might raise eyebrows at your marriage because you two are total opposites. They whisper nonsense behind your back because of your straightforwardness and confidence, and that's something Leon doesn't let slide. That's when he gives a damn, because nobody gets to badmouth his wife.

"I heard Leon's wife is quite controlling. Poor guy can't even make a decision without her approval," someone remarked, their tone condescending.

"Excuse me," Leon quickly interjected. "Let me make one thing clear: my wife is not controlling. Decisions in our marriage are made together, as equals."

“And if I hear anyone disrespecting her again, there will be consequences. Understood?" His tone was firm as he addressed his subordinates with a hard gaze. 

"Yes sir," the subordinates replied hastily, scrambling to return to their tasks.

This might have been the only instance he'd wield his authority as the top agent, but it was a line he wouldn't allow anyone to cross. 

What really makes your relationship click is the mutual respect and understanding you both share, along with your shared drive and ambition. You get that his job can eat up a lot of his time, with weeks and even months away from home, and sure, it gets to you sometimes. But he's pretty good at making it up to you (material gestures and physical affection).

Leon really appreciates how you get his career demands, and he's all for you pursuing your own career path too. He'd rather see you doing your thing than stuck at home while he's away. However, if and when you decide to have children, he might lean towards the idea of you being a stay-at-home mom, though ultimately, he respects it's entirely your decision.

As for that tracker thing, it's not about being controlling; it's more about being protective. With him going on those risky missions, you like having a way to keep tabs on him and make sure he's safe. At first, he wasn't too keen on the idea, but when you explained how it eases your mind, he kinda got it. Plus, it's kinda fun to mess around with it sometimes, right?

“Hey, where'd you sneak off to earlier?" you asked with a mock sternness, tapping your foot as Leon entered the room. "Your little dot disappeared for a while there."

Leon raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "What are you talking about? I've been right here the whole time."

You narrowed your eyes playfully. "Oh really? Because according to the tracker, you vanished into thin air."

A grin spread across Leon's face as he produced a cup of boba from behind his back, "I may have noticed a certain someone was feeling a bit down, so I thought I'd surprise her with her favourite pick-me-up.”

“Aw, Leon!” you exclaimed, jumping on him and nearly causing him to drop the boba and possibly break his back in the process.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

sorry to post about OUAT outside of the safety of the patreon corral but I just. truly cannot stop thinking about the bugfuck insanity of the writers deciding to drop in the seventh episode of their show ever that Regina has kept the same man as a sex slave in two separate realities.

like the nature of Storybrooke is that, having altered memories and lives constructed by Regina, I think almost everyone is off the hook for any sex under the effects of the OG curse—ie, Snow White might regret hooking up with Victor Frankenstein but the two of them were as on an equal footing as possible in the situation and both consented based on their understanding of reality at the time—with the obvious exception of Regina! who is extremely aware that everyone else in town is the most under the influence that maybe anyone has ever been in the history of the world!

which would be yucky enough if it was like, a bad situationship that developed organically in Storybrooke, but no man she was just recreating her setup in the Enchanted Forest where she kept Graham as a sex slave for god knows how many years. hello! hello!!! is anyone listening I'm going insane.

season one kind of revels in getting to roll out little reveals of Regina's litany of crimes via flashbacks to keep emphasizing, over and over, that she is insane and petty and willing to stoop to pretty much anything. in the first episode you know she's responsible for the curse that drives the entire plot, standard big bad stuff, but by the tenth episode you know she also kidnapped multiple children and sent them to their deaths in the candy house from Hansel and Gretel. which is obviously bad, no shit, but it's like. she's Snow White's wicked stepmother, she's the villain in a loosely goosey live action adaptation of classic Disney movies. endangering children for cruel and petty reasons is part of the territory.

but she also like. you know. she explicitly has a scared, trapped man dragged away to her bed chamber after she forcibly kisses him and magically rips his heart out of his chest specifically so that he can never defy her again. and then in case there was even a little bit of doubt left about what's going on there she continues to make his real world counterpart have sex with her, and even under a spell that's completely erased his memories of his old identity and life, he admits that his relationship with Regina doesn't make him feel anything. no one ever comes right out and says Regina is using her power as the mayor to pressure him into it, but that would frankly be mild by her standards.

I can't even quite articulate why I'm so hung up on this except that it's like, so jarring to have Regina do so many over the top cartoon crimes with her magical murder and mayhem and then also slip in oh, btw, she's also a rapist! she raped that man!" especially when you factor in that, based on my memory of the show and general understanding of what mind of show this is, no one is ever going to acknowledge that. when Regina starts her good guy redemption arc and other characters try to hold her accountable for things it's always going to be "you killed Graham" and never "you killed Graham after raping him repeatedly for many years in two different realities." no one is ever going to talk about that.

except for me, because I'm stuck watching six and a half more seasons and I will not be able to forget.

[shangchiswife]

joel miller- pretty pink skirt

summary: joel miller gets possessive over you so you teach him a lesson

joel x fem!reader

warnings: smut, cursing

word count: 3226

....

The moment you strutted down the street in that pretty pink skirt Joel Miller knew it was the end of him.

He watched the way that with every step the skirt showed a sliver of your thighs and fit snugly against your curves.

His breath caught in his throat at the way the hint of a smirk formed on your lips as you smoothed your fingers over the flowy skirt.

You knew exactly what you were doing and it was definitely on purpose.

….

The previous day you had been at the local Jackson bar when a man around your age approached you.

He was handsome with steel gray eyes hidden behind dark frames and unruly curly hair.

Joel had been sipping a glass of beer as he watched the man approach you.

The man tapped your shoulder before you turned your head to spin in his direction.

Your jaw dropped as you hopped off the stool you previously sat on to stare at the man in front of you.

“Ollie?” you questioned as the man grinned.

You ran into his arms, wrapping your arms around his neck while he embraced you back with an equal amount of passion.

His thick eyebrows furrowed together as he downed the rest of his beer, his fingers pressing hard against his glass as he watched the interaction.

“It’s been so long oh my god! How are you?” you asked excitedly as you broke away from him and watched as he gave you an excited look.

“As good as I can be in an apocalypse,” he said as you threw your head back in laughter.

“Oh, Ollie you’re just like I remembered,” you shook your head as you remembered the two of you rolling around in the dirt together at recess time at the small local school in the QZ.

“I hope not I’ve grown at least a foot since you last saw me!” Oliver feigned mock pain as he placed a hand over his hand.

You rolled your eyes and shoved his hand away from his chest.

“So how’s your love life?” you asked wiggling your eyebrows suggestively which didn’t go unnoticed by Joel who narrowed his eyebrows at you.

“Man you know I keep looking but I’ll never find the right guy,” he scratched the back of his head awkwardly as you took his hand in yours and squeezed it tightly.

“One day you’ll find him I promise,” you said as he offered you a shy smile and hugged you.

“So do you have anyone?” he raised his eyebrows, trying to mock you.

“Yeah actually-”

You were cut off by Joel whose glare cut you so deep you stumbled into Ollie’s arms.

“You ok?” Ollie questioned.

“She’s fine,” Joel’s voice dripped with malice before he grabbed your arm.

“C’mon we’re going home, Y/N,” the older man grabbed your forearm as you turned your head and waved at your former best friend who made kissing faces.

You exited the bar and entered the breezy streets of Jackson.

The night sky was glittering with white stars and a bright full moon.

“Joel, I was in the middle of talking!” you said.

“Talking or flirting,” Joel gritted his teeth as you stopped in your tracks, gawking at your boyfriend.

“Ollie is a childhood friend-”

“I don’t care who he is he is not allowed to look at you like that,” the salt and pepper-haired man twisted his head around to shoot his eyes at you.

You started to laugh a little.

You could practically feel the red-hot jealousy radiating off him.

Joel’s face burned with anger.

“Texas I don’t think you understand,” you giggled using your favorite nickname on him, placing a hand on his arm to stabilize yourself.

“Oh, I think I’m starting to…” his thick southern accent slipped into his words as he shoved his arm away from you.

Suddenly you weren’t smiling anymore.

“Joel you’re still not getting it he isn’t into w-”

“You know what save it,” he cut you off with a hand before turning around, his broad back facing you.

“Have fun with your ‘childhood best friend,’” he said using air quotes when he said childhood best friend.

How did he not believe you?

You felt hot tears blur your vision.

“He’s into fucking men, Joel!” you shouted as he whipped his head around, eyes wide.

He opened his mouth to say something but you used his method by cutting him off with a hand.

“YOU save it, Joel I can’t believe you didn’t trust me or my love for you for one second after all we’ve been through together,” your lip trembled with your words as Joel put his head down in shame.

“I’m not coming back to your place tonight so don’t even bother waiting for me,” your voice cracked as you turned back to the direction of the bar, swiping stray tears away from your face.

Joel felt his heart crack into a million pieces as he watched you walk away from him, the dim yellow streetlamps illuminating your form.

….

The first time you both had slept together was years ago after Sam and Henry had passed.

It had been hours since you’d buried them and Joel was now driving you and Ellie away.

Ellie had fallen asleep long ago, her soft snores providing you with little comfort.

Your entire body had been shaking with terror as the scenes of Sam and Henry dying replayed in your head.

You tried to look around to distract yourself from the two with the once former blooming suburbs of the small town you were in.

“Hey,” Joel’s voice was soft as he put a hand on your bouncing knee, stopping it instantly.

Your heart dropped as he stared at you, his brown eyes full of concern.

“You alright? You haven’t slept,” he said as he slowed the truck.

You shook your head lightly, avoiding eye contact with him as he stopped the car in front of a house.

“Come on let’s stop for the day,” he said as you said nothing, your face a mask void of emotion.

He opened the passenger side for you to get out of and then lifted Ellie out of the car as she stirred, making an annoyed grunt.

“I know I know, you’ll get back to bed soon enough,” he said as she opened her eyes and took your hand in hers.

The house was deserted without a single sign of life except for pictures of a family of five that lined the living room.

“Let’s get to bed, sweetheart,” you coaxed Ellie, leading her up the rickety steps to the second floor.

The girl grumbled as you guided her into a room that was previously home to a teenage girl.

Ellie stared at the lush made-up king-sized bed and immediately jumped into it, covering herself with the thick bright blanket.

A moment later, her snores returned and you snorted before going over to her and pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead.

“Hey,” Joel rapped his knuckles on the doorframe as you spun around to face him.

How did he always look so dashing?

“You should get some rest,” he said as you walked over to him and let him lead you to a bedroom, his hand resting on the small of your back.

Your heart pounded from his touch as he escorted you into a large bedroom.

The sheets were velvet while the pillows had satin over them.

“These were some rich people,” you mumbled to yourself as your fingers brushed over the thick blanket.

The older man nodded as you slipped under the covers.

Your eyes were still wide open.

“What’s wrong?” Joel asked knowingly as he crouched beside you.

At this point, you both had known each other for months and Joel being as observant as he was always noticed when something was off with you. Maybe it was the feelings he was fighting for you that made him more attentive when it came to you.

“Can’t stop thinking about them,” you shuddered as you thought about Sam and the way his head had jerked violently when he was shot.

The sweet innocent boy that you had grown attached to within the span of a day.

Joel was not used to being open but when it came to you he would do whatever you wanted.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he questioned, raising his thick eyebrows slightly looking for a reaction.

“No, I just want to sleep now you’re right I am tired,” you said, pressing your tired face against the silky soft pillow.

“Alright then,” the man bowed his head and made his way toward the door.

“Wait!” you said making him stop in his tracks.

“Can you…stay with me?” you asked sheepishly as the Texan’s heart stopped at your invitation.

“Of course,” he breathed as he made his way next to you and went under the blanket.

“Thanks, Miller,” you said, giving him a shy smile before drifting off to sleep.

That was the day when Joel Miller knew he had fallen in love.

….

Now he watched you strut down the streets of Jackson without a care in the world while everyone stared at you with admiration and envy.

Men your age and Joel’s all took turns looking you up and down with wolfish grins on their faces.

“Lookin’ good baby,” he heard someone wolf whistle as you smiled innocently at the man, sending him a cheeky wink.

It was a particularly windy day and Joel watched as you tried to tame the skirt that tried to fly up and expose you.

Joel felt his fists clench in his jeans pockets as he watched you sashay down the most public avenue.

His veins practically popped out of his neck at the lustful looks of the men in Jackson who tried to take a peek at what was his.

Once you had passed the older man you shot him a nasty glare.

“That’s it,” he grumbled as he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into an abandoned alley.

You said nothing, your eyes narrowing as he stared you down, his once soft brown eyes cold.

“Miller,” your tone was even and matched his stern gaze.

“Look Y/N I’m sorry for being possessive over you I was just jealous,” he said as you said nothing.

“I can’t believe you’d ever accuse me of ever betraying your trust like that Joel that’s so fucked up,” you looked down at the ground, kicking a pebble.

Joel brought his fingers to your chin, lifting it up so that you locked eyes.

“Let me make it up to you then,” his voice was deep and sent shivers down your spine.

“It better be good because otherwise, I won’t be forgiving you, Texas,” you said, turning your head the other way and shifting your stance.

It was a good sign that you were using his signature nickname which made him regain his confidence.

The air was thick and electrifying with tension, passion, and desire as you both stared at each other intensely.

Joel angled his head down so that you felt his breath fan across your ear.

“You bet it’ll be good darlin',” he smirked as he watched you shudder from your close proximity.

The older man then got on his knees in front of you.

The sight was almost enough to make you drool but you controlled yourself because you were still slightly annoyed at him.

“You’re gonna have to be quiet if you want this sweetheart,” Joel said, gripping your thighs as he watched you nod in an uninterested manner, your blank face masking your want for him. 

Joel was going to make it his ultimate goal to coax that reaction out of you.

He rubbed your thighs sensually, his rough calloused hands smoothing them up and down at first before gently lifting up your pink skirt.

You knew that it’d drive him crazy when he’d see you wear it which was the reason you picked it out for this occasion.

“Such a pretty fuckin’ skirt,” he complimented before tearing his eyes away from the fabric and onto your pink lacy panties.

“Holy fuck,” he said, feeling his pants grow tighter as he pulled them down.

You held back a whimper at the feeling of the wind grazing over your bare pussy.

The Texan took one finger and dipped it in your folds, collecting your wetness.

“So fuckin’ wet,” he smirked before taking his wet finger and sucking it in his mouth.

Your pussy clenched around nothing as you watched the dirty action.

“Hurry the fuck up already,” you said impatiently as the man said nothing and plunged one of his fingers inside of you making you throw your head back against the brick wall behind you.

The combined feeling of him rubbing your clit at a tantalizingly slow pace and his middle finger continuously hitting your G-spot made your breaths shallow.

Joel grinned as he watched your face struggle to be neutral.

“Another finger outta do it,” he said, southern accent strong in his words before he added another finger into your weeping pussy making you mewl.

His eyes were trained on you as they took in every movement and reaction from you.

You grabbed a fistful of his salt and peppered hair and brought it close to your core as he took that as his cue and started to simultaneously flick your clit with his tongue and finger-fuck you.

“Joel,” you whimpered with pleasure as he groaned into your heat, swirling his tongue around at a brutal pace that made your eyes roll to the back of your head as he started to bring you to your climax.

You watched as his hands started to drip with your slick.

“So fuckin’ sweet,” he growled as he assaulted your pussy faster with his tongue sliding up and down your slit and his two fingers hitting your G-spot.

You were so close, the all-so-familiar coil in your stomach about to snap before Joel removed his head and fingers from you making you whine.

“Aww, I thought you were mad at me, sweetpea?” he mocked you.

“Fuck you, Miller,” you breathed out as he stood up and pushed you against the brick wall, one hand on the base of your throat shooting electricity down your spine.

“Oh I will, trust me, baby,” he said darkly, his pupils blown out and full of lust.

His tone made your heart drop to the lowest pit of your stomach and a pool of wetness form around your core.

You watched as the bulge in between his thighs grew from a whimper that escaped your throat.

You couldn’t help but get turned on by the situation as he slipped your shirt off, and threw it on the floor. 

He then undid your bra and immediately attacked your boobs with his hands. He squeezed the mound roughly and tweaked your pebbled nipples making you moan loudly.

Then you pulled him by his shirt to you and kissed him hard.

He kissed you back with an equal amount of passion as you ground your bare pussy on his clothed cock making him groan.

“Fuck baby you’re gonna make me cum right now,” he sighed with bliss as you removed your lips from his and attached them to his neck, licking and sucking everywhere.

He smirked at your movements before he unbuttoned his jeans, letting his girthy cock spring free.

He was leaking with pre-cum before he spun you around so that you were pressed against the cold wall, making you shiver.

You clenched your thighs together as you peeked at his dick.

“Like what you see baby?” he drawled tauntingly as he pumped himself a couple of times before peppering kisses on your neck and bunching up your skirt so that he had easier access to you.

“Always do,” you said, your core throbbing as he seized your hips in a bruisingly-tight grip and let his cock nudge against your slick entrance.

The older man pushed inside of you as you took one of his hands and intertwined it with one of yours as you allowed yourself to get used to his large length.

“So tight,” he hissed as he drove himself deeper into your cunt making you gasp with pleasure.

He stretched you out completely as your fingers clung to the brick wall in front of you.

“Ready?” he rasped as you nodded eagerly as he began to slip in and out of you at a rough pace, the way Joel liked it.

You were clouded with pleasure and bliss as he filled you up and left you empty within seconds.

You moaned loudly before Joel covered your mouth with one of his large hands.

“Careful sweetheart, don’t want anyone to hear you do you?” he panted as you whimpered into his hand.

His hand slapped your ass making you squirm underneath him.

“Such a dirty fuckin’ whore walking around town with a tiny skirt beggin’ for attention,” his pace turned even rougher as your vision blurred with tears from the stimulation.

“But we all know you just wanted my cock in the end isn’t that right?” he grinned cheekily.

“Yes,” you sighed.

“Yes what?” he growled gripping your throat as his other hand slid down your body to rub hard circles onto your clit.

“Yes, sir,” you managed as stars blinded you from the way he split you open with his cock.

“Good girl,” he massaged your ass before he continued to move into you, his thrusts started to get sloppy. 

The only other noises in the room were Joel’s grunts and the lewd noises that came out of your throat.

Your walls started to flutter around his length.

“Gonna cum,” you moaned louder as pressure started to build up in your lower belly.

“Me too,” he admitted, his nose brushing against your throat as he continued to pound into you, his balls hitting your ass while you clenched around him.

“Fuck!” you screamed into his hand before whimpering his name repetitively.

He gave you one last thrust before you both orgasmed at the same time with his seed filling you up and leaking down your thighs.

Waves of pleasure washed over your entire body as you shut your eyes with bliss as your orgasm came over you.

“So fuckin’ pretty,” he panted before he pulled out of you and twisted your tired body around so that you faced him.

He took your tossed clothes and gave them to you like the gentleman that he was.

You slid on your shirt while he returned your soiled panties to you.

Once you were fully clothed, the older man pulled you into his chest, placing a gentle hand on your head.

“Sweetheart I’m so sorry,” he said, his voice dripping with sadness.

“It’s okay, Joel, I know you were only doing all of that because you love me,” you gave him a smile before cupping his face.

He immediately melted into your touch before he pressed a kiss onto your hand, his eyes soft and adoring as he gazed at you like you were the most beautiful person in the world.

“I love you so much, cowboy,” you teased him before planting a kiss on his cheek.

“I love you too, sweetpea,”

[bonny-kookoo]

Kaleidoscope: Intro 🔞

In which the closely bonded mates Yoongi, Jungkook, and Jimin find a human who does more than just help them in their time of need.

Tags/Warnings: Alien! Jungkook, Alien!Jimin, Alien!Yoongi, Human!Reader, strangers to lovers, poly!AU, tentacles (lord forgive me for I will sin), long tongues and sharp teeth and horns and tails and who's even surprised anymore?

Additional Chapter Warnings: mentions of laboratories isolation and testing, humans are seen as lesser, near-death experience, gun oops, other than little angst nothing just fluff

Other content: Bonding

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

You hold tightly onto the doctor's jacket, terrified of accidentally getting lost.

You don't really like her much, but she's pretty much your life insurance. There's no way you could survive in the midst of this bustling city by yourself - not when you don't even understand half of what you see and hear around you. Doctor Sue looks down to you before she notes something down on her phone, continuing her little stroll around town with you. She's keeping track of your stress response, or at least that's what you've been told - sometimes you can't help but think they just like to watch you in general.

You've gotten used to it.

"Wait here." She suddenly says. "I have to get something here." She tells you, before walking into a store where there's a 'no human' sign on the door taped. You're curious as to why so many Yorian people don't like humans- but then again, you've not met regular Yorians in general. All that you knew were medical professionals or behavioral students and teachers.

You sit down where Sue had told you to stay, when you see him.

He's tall, silver ring on his bottom lip, two tiny horns barely peeking out from his long hair. He's on his phone, distracted, before he looks at something on the displays set up out on a store, probably news, you guess. It's not long before his gaze finds yours, and surprisingly, he smiles; gently waving a little down to you, making you blink a little confused, earning a chuckle from him before he looks back at the screens.

He seems to be waiting for someone, or something.

What he definitely wasn't waiting for was the person coming up behind him, a disheveled young man with his hand in his pocket, who's just checking the tall man out for a moment. You tilt your head a bit in interest, simply spectating the weird scene, before a gun-like object is pulled out by the roughed up looking guy.

The man with the piercing doesn't notice, but you do.

You call out, just a sound, not even a word as you run towards him and grabbing the gun-wielding hand, distracting the aggressor and making him shoot the concrete close to your foot, causing you to squeak in shock, and flinch back, holding your hands over your ears. "What do YOU want, huh?!" The guy angrily barks now, aiming the gun at your now trembling body, before he shoots.

The bullet only grazes your hip, mainly because the Yorian man had pushed the criminal's hand down in an attempt to help you. A signal is heard, a screeching whistle sound by a patrolling police officer who runs after the gun wielding stranger, quickly tackling him down while the Yorian now kneels in front of you, inspecting the blood seeping through the fabric of your white dress. "Why did you do that?" He asks confused, worry all over his features as he struggles to really think of something to do.

"Zero-six?" Someone calls, a voice you remember as Sue, before she calls again. "What the lord!" She gasps, running towards you, as she assesses your injuries. "What happened? I told you to stay put!"

"It was -" the young man chimes in, pointing towards the currently laying down aggressor waiting for more police to arrive. "This person made an attempt on my life. She saw it happen and intervened. I believe she just.. saved my life." He explains, visibly surprised and equally distressed by your red blood staining his hand. "Is this injury fatal?" He asks quietly, as Sue lifts your dress.

"No. Just a surface wound, but we will bring you to the Healthcare department as soon as we're back at the facility." She almost scoldingky tells you, and you look down in trained shame.

You don't really know what you did wrong, but you've learned not to ask and not to question if anyone's actions towards you are ever justified.

"Jungkook!" Someone calls out, two Yorians jogging towards the young man you assume is named Jungkook. "Are you okay? What happened?" The oldest one asks, his voice deep and serious.

Jungkook explains in short what had happened, making the other man look at you before nodding. "On behalf of both of them, Thank You. Will she be okay?" He asks Sue, who nods.

"We will take care of it, don't worry." She smiles. "Even if she was to die, she did it on her own accord, so there's no legal consequences." She waves off, making Jungkook cringe.

"Is there.. a way for us to stay in contact?" He asks. "I'd like to know if she's alright or not."

"I'm sorry, but since she's due to be moved to a regular housing facility soon, I can't give any information out. It's protocol, I'm afraid." She shrugs before helping you stand.

And as you walk back to the vehicle you came here in, you swear you can feel eyes on you.

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

The new housing is.. odd.

You're not used to being left to yourself for this long, but you can't say it's a bad thing. The staff are kind, they regularly clean your wound, and make sure you eat well. It's a little crowded, but by now, you've gotten almost used to it. They always said you adapted well to new situations, after all.

You're just watching the rain outside the glass wall next to you before you spot something familiar in the reflection, causing you to turn around. The pierced Yorian you remember as Jungkook suddenly lights up, it seems, posture straightening up before he jogs towards where you sit, a smile on his lips. "Finally!" He calls out before quitting down, looking at you happily. "How are you? I've been looking around housings for weeks, and I'm so relieved to find you!" He explains, making you tilt your head a little in question.

"She doesn't really speak." A worker says, the young Yorian a kind personality you've come to like. "She communicates with noises sometimes, but she mostly stays quiet and tries to articular via gestures." The young worker explains.

"Is She mute?" The oldest looking guy wonders, Cat like eyes watching you out of their corner every now and then.

"Hm, we're all unsure why she won't speak, really." The young social worker says. "She's from the West Zerian Medical Sciense Center, and they kept her records locked like it's the gods secret." He shrugs. "It might be mental, might be physical, maybe both? Poor thing can't even tie her shoes."

"It's really unethical, isn't it?" A more feminine looking Yorian says, now lowering himself next to Jungkook. "Hello. I'm Jimin- we met some time ago, remember?" He asks, and you nod before imitating a gun with your hand. "Yes, exactly. You saved my mate's life." He smiles, eyes closing.

"He's been bothering me about finding out if she's alright for weeks now." The oldest says. "Does she need anything?"

"She's healing well, don't worry." The young worker says. "And she's very sweet. I doubt she will be here long, although her background might intimidate some." He worries.

Jungkook turns around- and almost immediately, the oldest shakes his head sternly. "Absolutely not Jungkook. A human is a huge responsibility, we can't just take her home like that." He presses.

"But Yoongi, you hear him!" Jungkook argues. "She deserves a good place after having lived in that place!"

"And I never said it's out of the question, but we need to think this through first before making a rushed decision." Yoongi argues back. "I know you feel inclined to help her due to the circumstances. But this isn't just some rodent you're attempting to bring home here, that's a person." He says. "A human at that. Do you even know what they can and can't eat?" He challenges, and Jungkook deflates visibly, a defeated look on his face.

It hurts you a bit to see him like that, but you understand the reasoning of the Yorian named Yoongi. He seems like a very well-educated man.

He looks at you for a moment, a silent conversation happening, before he tells everyone to go home for now. "We will visit again." Jimin reassures with a gentle tone. "Until then." He smiles, leaving you behind as all three walk out the room.

Huh.

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

You're almost sure you will get lost in this house.

"Dont overwhelm her Jungkook. Let's just have her explore on her own later." Yoongi gently scolds the youngest, who bashfully nods before the oldest turns to you. "Please don't mind him. He can get a bit overwhelming at times."

You wave it off, before politely bowing in a thankful way.

"No need. It's the least we can do." He nods. You shake your head, pointing at him before at yourself, crossing your hands in a denying motion. "I know, and we don't just do this because of that. We've been thinking of letting a human into our home for a while now. The right one just never appeared, I guess."

"But!" Jimin happily exclaims behind you. "Now you're here. And I have a feeling you will fit very well into our life." He nods, watching as you bow again. "Ah, I guess I'll just accept this." He chuckles.

"Give her some time. It must be overwhelming, after all, to go from solitary confinement to public housing to a private home in just half a year." Yoongi says.

You yawn, trying to hide it, but it breaks free after all, stunning all three Yorians for a second, before Jungkook, groans out.

"Hyung, I love her already!" He exclaims, hugging you close. "She's so cute!" He calls out, and both Jimin and Yoongi laugh at that.

Well- he's not wrong. You really are cute- and they can't wait to see how you will settle in.

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

[apparently-i-am-an-adult]

Finding Equal Footing.

Episode 8 babyyyyy here we go!

I love everything about this opening scene, and just now rewatching it it finally clicked as to why. White and Sean start off on different levels and end the scene on unequal footing.

This entire time, White and Sean have been going back and forth with each other, often misunderstanding what each other has to say. They had their biggest problem during their last mission, with White not understanding Sean’s anger and Sean incapable of understanding White’s compassion and consideration. It was only later, at the protests, and under the pride flag, that they both understood what they could actually achieve.

Of course, Sean had a couple kicks to the head on the way (thanks to Yok and his mom, mainly) but once he sees what White’s actions have led to he understands his anger and vengeance will just hurt people, and won’t actually bring about the change in society he says he wants. So he decides to apologize to White.

Sean starts by barging his way into the room. White is understandably unwilling to let him into his space, but Sean will not be denied. He overpowers white, with both his height and his strength.

Once he’s in, he goes to sit on the bed. White, upset, says, “don’t sit on the bed, sit on the floor.” Sean immediately gets up and sits on the floor with no comment and only mild reluctance. The Sean of two episodes ago would have made more of an argument. Even with the excuse White gives, “your pants are dirty,” Sean only asks if he should take his pants off. No dirty pants, problem solved.

White still refuses, and tells him to sit on the floor again. And he does. He makes the crack about White sitting in the bed, but White responds “well it’s my room,” and Sean doesn’t say anything. I think it’s a quiet acknowledgment of their fight earlier in Sean’s room about White’s space there.

Notice White sits straight, above Sean, now dominant, with the higher ground. It isn’t until Sean offers him the drink does he lean in.

White asks if Sean is there to apologize.

Sean is, but he still has his pride, so he won’t admit White’s right. White still has a feeling, though. He lays down on the bed, bringing himself closer to Sean’s level, but still looking down on him. White is a petty bitch, so he steals the alcohol from him mod-swig.

(Also notice how White grimaces when drinking alcohol except when drinking Vodka with Eugene. He made this same face when Todd gave him a drink too. HC white is a vodka only man.)

White accepts the olive branch of alcohol, and asks Sean what he’s there to talk about.

Sean apologizes, and White calls him on it.

Sean acknowledges White’s success, and how they’ve never had this much public support of their actions before. White, smiling, Sean’s facing him and leaning in. They’re getting closer to understanding each other, but they’re not on the same level yet.

White makes the first move.

He gets off the bed. He sits on the floor, across from Sean, looking directly into his eyes. He knows what he’s asking. Why do you hate him so much? What did he do that would make you attack innocent parties? Why would you throw yourself on the pyre for the hope that he would burn?

Tell me, White says. Trust me.

White sits there, reaching out, meeting Sean where he is, refusing to to let him be alone. He ducks his head down, and White follows him, refusing to look away.

Sean spills his soul, telling White everything about how dark his life got. White brings him back by touching his face.

“You’re still here. Thank you for telling me,” White says. He knows how important this is to Sean, knows that it wasn’t easy for Sean to tell him. “Now I understand you better. I want you to trust me like I trust you.”

Even with how Black has changed, Sean can’t imagine he would event want to actually understand him. To him Black couldn’t care that much. And trusting him, when Black would question everything he does?

White proves it.

(Side note: this isn’t just White, this is Gun. He’s just Like That. He will trust fall with zero prompting. Look it up on YouTube, there’s a compilation. It’s hilarious.)

Anyway. White returns Sean’s trust with a show of his own. Sean doesn’t fail. They’re here, together, on (almost) equal footing now.

Sean offers white a chance to punch him to make it even. White bonks him in the head instead, and Sean calls it even. And there, laughing, having cleared the air between them, having offered real evidence of trust between them, White and Sean are finally on the same page and can move forward together.

[frostytherobot]

Maybe plenty of white leftists might have expressed annoyance at identity politics, but wanting representation in media is not a political act or should be described as the problem. By anyone. Even people who say they dont like homophobia. Or championed women 10 years ago or whatever those tags said. (im sorry i cant read them while im writing this :)

Let me also say I fully agreed with their evidence with their Scientist man schtick, that Ghostbusters 2016 was manipulated by the studios to stoke controversy because the movie was unfunny. Because they were right, it was very unfunny. I saw it. So i believe its very true that creating an artificial controversy can get people to see a movie/show. Mike knows all about that fact, he reported about it with the Ghostbusters controversy, but yet still he flames on this acolyte controversy with this both-sidesism stuff. Saying that somehow identity-politics is equal part the problem. Between people who want diversity in their media and those who do not want it. i dont see how anyone doesn't see the inherent bigotry in that. Unless you see white straightness as the default. Especially when star wars has how many dozens and dozens of shows/movies? and only relatively recently has diversity crept into it. If you don't like the acolyte show, thats ok, dont watch it, watch something else. What's the problem?

Maybe you are right that they just are not using their words correctly. I might even buy that cause i love their content, and do not want to think of them like this, but that video felt tortured in trying to appease right wing bigotry by saying not wanting diversity is on equal footing as wanting it. does anyone actually believe that? Because it sounded like he was saying that by calling identity-politics the problem

trust me i'm also fucking sucking ducking tired (lol that is a great line) with trying to calmly explain that wanting diversity in media is only political if you see "white straightness" as the default.

thank you for listening.

peace and love.

Maybe it’s just not coming across to me in the way they worded things that they inherently think of whiteness/straightness/cisgenderness as the default. But then again, they’re white guys.

I do think that while Mike seems to act like he doesn’t care about what people think of him, he feels the need to tiptoe around his language or hide it behind (not great) jokes, because it is his channel and the way he and his friends can afford to live, all things considered. It’s a problem with trying not to alienate the kind of audience he’s accumulated over the years, and the comments section on that video does indicate the kind of vapid, idiotic audience they have. That’s another conversation totally, and one that needs to be had, but not really what I’m talking about right now.

I think I do understand what you’re saying though, showing both progressive and reactionary views on media being part of the problem is kinda shitty, BUT I don’t totally think they were trying to say people seeking representation are the problem. Moreso championing the products of a corporation that don’t write well-rounded and three dimensional characters, especially doubling down to fight with reactionaries is. When we have algorithms always feeding us things that are tailor-made to make us angry, it’s a problem that we’re feeding that machine. Again, I just think they’re really bad at what they’re trying to say, especially because Mike has a tendency to poke the bear with just about everything. Another problem considering that doesn’t come off well in serious conversation, but that’s just how he is.

I will say I don’t know their full views on everything, but because of the opinions they’ve shared in the past and the discussion they had with diverse representation in other shows and how much they like them, I don’t think they’re bigoted. Maybe just stupid. But perhaps that’s just me wanting to think the best of them, because I do understand where they’re coming from even if they’re not articulating it properly, and I do understand being angry with them because of that.

I really don’t want to seem like I’m arguing blindly for two people I don’t know, but I don’t want to outright claim they’re the same kind of people who are totally opposed to marginalized people existing in media. Peace and love to you too!

[youmakemyhearthowl]

Punk Princess

Ao3| Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5 | Part 6| Part 7| Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 (Next Part)

Gareth is getting really sick of his shit, Eddies pretty sure.

He knows that Gareth had been hoping for something more to come out of the DnD session, but Eddie counts the entire thing a massive win in his book because he finally got a really good reaction out of Steve. The glazed over look in his eyes when Eddie called him Good Boy is, like permanently seared into the back of his eye lids. 

Eddie finally feels like he’s getting on equal footing in this flirtationship with Steve and he’s practically high off of it.

“Billy comes back to school today.” Mack whispers, throwing his arms across Eddie and Gareths shoulders as they make their way through the halls. Eddie feels a white hot anger, swirling around with dread in his gut. Steve’s face had just started looking like himself again, and Eddie had no idea if Billy would try to start something.

That question gets answered really fast, as the three of them round the corner, and shoved against the wall with an arm pressed to his windpipe is Billy Hargrove. Steve’s face is pressed close to Billy’s ear, whispering something, the red eyeshadow smoked around his eyes giving a sharpness to his face. He looks down right murderous, and Eddies only a little ashamed to admit it’s turning him on. Steve’s got a knee pressed between Billy’s legs, effectively pinning him fully to the wall before he’s suddenly shoving off him and backing up, spitting on the ground next to Billy’s feet, and Eddie can just make out a new split on Steve’s lips. 

What is with this guy and fighting, Jesus.

And why is it so hot?

Tommy’s stepping up and shoving Steve’s chest when they get close enough to finally hear what’s happening.

“You’re fucking deranged Harrington.” Tommy spits, still shoving at Steve. The laugh Steve lets out is deep, and a little bit terrifying, and unfortunately has Eddie adjusting himself in his pants.

“Keep out of it Tommy. I wouldn’t want to have to rearrange your pretty face too.” The tone he uses is the most fascinating thing Eddie’s ever heard, the threat is clear, but the slight flirtatious lit to it gives Eddie pause, until he sees the slight pink tinge jump to Tommy’s face. 

Steve Harrigton has always known how to weaponize words, and it looks like he still did.

“If I find out you’ve gone anywhere near any of those kids again Hargrove, I won’t hesitate to end your shit. And I know the ways you like to fight dirty now, so don’t act like I couldn’t. The bruise you left on Max’s wrist this moning is the last fucking time you touch her, do you understand?” Steve’s made his way back into Billy’s space, and Eddies almost certain he sees a silver glint between their bodies, but Steve’s open spiked jacket and the way he’s standing obscures whatever it is perfectly. 

And it’s about that time that Eddie realizes that Steve Harrinton is dangerous. 

Like probably would kill a man for the people he loves, dangerous, and the strangled sound that leaves his throat draws some of the onlookers attention, Eddie sliding his arms down to hold his books in a way that will hopefully not make his boner obvious.

“You have issues man.” Gareth cackles into his ear, Mack snickering right along with him. Just as a teacher is about to round the corner, Steve, fast as lightning is nowhere near Billy anymore, his arm slung casually over Robin’s shoulder and planting a soft kiss on her temple that makes Eddie’s heart squeeze with affection. Billy and Tommy glancing in Steve’s direction one more time before stalking off down the hallway and out of sight. Steve catches Eddie’s eye and smirks, shooting him a wink as he pulls Robin along with him towards their first class.

“It’s inhumanely unfair that Steve actively knows how hot he is when he does things” Eddie grumbles. His brain conjuring up images of silver glinting on sweaty skin.

“I think you just have a kink list a mile long and he checks them all off.” Jeff muses, joining them on the walk to first period.

“I think at this point his kink list is just ‘Anything Steve Harrington’.” Mack's words are echoed with his laugh as he bounds away down the hall to head off to wherever it is he disappears to when he decides to cut first period.

“If I have to spend one more second of my life talking about Steve Harrington, I’m gonna stab myself in the eye.” Gareth grumbles to himself under his breath as he throws himself down into his desk chair with an exasperated sigh. 

“Aw Gar Bear, it’s okay, I still love you.” Eddie sings-songs as he swings around in his chair to look at his best friend. 

“Not the way you love him, I fucking hope.” Gareth makes a face to show Eddie he’s joking, that they’re good and their friendship isn’t  really in any danger, but Eddie’s entire brain just blanked.

Because it’s been months of talking to Steve here and there, and weeks of hosting DnD for Steve’s kids, and even though they always joked that Eddie’s been half in love with Steve for years.

It was kinda true.

And getting to know Steve, getting to know the real Steve. The mom Steve, the soft Steve, the ‘I could murder you and not even blink an eye’ Steve.

Eddie wasn’t just half in love with him anymore.

Eddie’s pretty sure he wants to marry Steve and do the whole white picket fence thing with kids and pets and an annoying fucking neighbor.

“Fuck.” 

How do you tell a guy like that, that you love them? They’d never even gone on a date  before. 

A ball of paper hitting him in the face brings him out of his spiral. He glances in the direction it came from to see no one there, and Eddie's face twists in confusion, bending down to pick it up and smoothing it out.

You look hot when you get all flustered, Also your smile brightens like my whole day.

-S.H

Eddie’s cheeks grow hot. How could he not fall in love with someone like Steve?

Ao3| Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5 | Part 6| Part 7| Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 (Next Part)

[bababaka]

Welcome back to Rewriting Twilight!

Here is part 1, if you missed it and want to read it.

Part 2 - Jasper being a confederate soldier

Or, Jasper being in the wrong side of history

Let's go!

Trigger warning: racism, anxiety attacks, violence.

So because i was not born in the USA, and did not study USA's history i didn't understand the whole thing about the confederate soldier, but as i got deeper into the twilight fandom, i got a grasp about what it was. And now i did a 5 minute search in google about the civil war and the sides of it blah blah blah. Here's what i found about it, and thought was important for this "rewrite":

"Men on both sides were inspired to fight by patriotism, state pride, the chance for adventure, steady pay. Union soldiers fought to preserve the Union; the common Confederate fought to defend his home. Later in the war, increasing numbers of Federal soldiers fought to abolish slavery, if for no other reason than to end the war quickly. Confederate soldiers sometimes fought because they feared Union victory would result in a society where black people were placed on an even footing with whites."

Ok. What do we take from this?

Jasper is racist :) not was, but is. Because, in the movies when he talks about it, he doesn't look contrite or remorseful, he doesn't say: yeah, i later realised i was wrong, bla bla bla.

My problem is exactly that. Not that he was a confederate soldier and whatnot. Hell yeah he was a racist. My problem is that he doesn't regret it. It is not shown to the audience that he regrets and is ashamed of what he once was part of, of the ideals and morals he fought and was willing to die for.

Sooooo, here is my take on how to do exactly that :)

This would happen in the third movie of the franchise. And Jasper would be the focus of it.

Through the whole thing of the new born army, we would see Jasper in his mind reliving his life, and his time with Maria, and his time as confederate soldier.

So, it would start, Jasper, at the ripe age of 18(?), enlists to the army of the confederate. To fight for his country, his ideals and morals, for right and wrong. All that was taught by his father.

He trains and fights and shoots. He does all that was required of him, like a good soldier of his nation.

He kills and despises black people. The dirt of the ground.

He rides his horse, and hold onto his southern hat.

And, then along comes, Maria.

Maria, well, does what she does in canon. Im not going to really change it. Its amazing.

She turns and manipulates him. Turning him into a puppet, her puppet.

She keeps him at her side, almost all the time, because of his well good looks (she is very much superficial) and abilities, his fighting techniques.

And then, doing a simple walk, alongside Maria, they come across a runaway slave. A black man, in his middle twenties. And the beautiful thing is, before turning into a vampire, Jasper would sneer and scowl, maybe kill the dude. He would despise the other man. Whom he wouldn't even consider being a man, his equal.

Maria takes an interest in the runaway, and so they come closer, and so, as Maria mostly interacts with him, Jasper, so against it, feels the emotions that this stranger was feeling. He feels scared. Hes terrified out his mind. Hes tired. And that is the starting point there.

So, i don't know how racists think because well im not one, and have never befriended one to try understand nor have i made a research to try understand what goes on. But neverthless, lets pretend Jasper was the kind of racist who didn't even think black people were truly human. As if they are a monster or some foul, soulless creature.

But, now Jasper is an empath! How fucking beautiful is that?! A man who had little to no empathy, becomes this strange creature that feels everything. Who kill people to feed himself with tears in his eyes and maybe even is induced into an anxiety attack. He feels the terror. The despair, the need to survive. Maybe, when is near anything that reflects his image while killing his victim, Jasper sees himself and for a moment, is scared of the creature he sees there.

In the begining of his years as a vampire, Jasper would be just this emotional mess. And Maria would confort him, of course she would. Why wouldn't she? What better way to make this powerful, handsome, and tatctiful man into her loyal little puppy whom she can manipulate as she fits? Though, because she's awful, she'd get annoyed sometimes with him, and would snap at him. To stop being a baby, weak and fragil. To be a man. He gets hurt by that, but would always come back to her. Because at tht point, she already made herself important to Jasper. Emotionally attached to her, Maria would be seen by Jasper as the calm in the middle of the storm, a warm embrace and soft caresses and gentle words.

Though, with time, she gets restless, and meaner. And of course, with time, Jasper will learn to harden himself and be more in control of his power and those unwanted and foreign feelings. But, neverthless, he still feels it. Every victim, every child, every woman, every man.

So now, feeling this man's emotions, this black man's emotions, it gives him a whiplash. The start of the crumbling of his world and his ideals. Because, oh no, he has feelings? This means he has a soul. Oh no. What?

But, Jasper is in denial still. The hatred goes too deep, its roots firmly attached to his being. His ideals. Wrong and right.

So, Maria recruits this man. And, lo and behold, demands Jasper trains him.

After, he finds out this ex-slave's name is Thomas.

At the start, they would have conflicts because well, Jasper is racist and therefore, not very nice. I don't think he would be outwardly ofensive, because Maria. So he says little phrases, remarks here and there, the tone of his voice, just slightly condescending, and the training, harder and crueler than any of the others.

Now that i think of it. Thomas would be only black person there. Poor Thomas.

And i didn't exactly thought this part out that much. Because im lazy, but, in this time, little by little they would "bond".

At first they would fight, Thomas would lash out and attack Jasper. Who quickly overpowers him, while feeling each emotion. Every little change in his demeanor. Because, Jasper's haterd is so focused on Thomas, that his entire attention is on the newborn. So, with each venoumus word and sneer, Jasper would feel Thomas' emotions change. The anger, the sadness, the fear, the hurt, the drive to survive.

And as times goes on, and his laser focus is on the boy, Jasper would be in synchrony with Thomas' emotions.

Jasper would be very much in conflict with himself about it. He doesn't say anything to Maria, knowing she'd be annoyed to be bothered about such things.

And then, without noticing, Jasper would get softer, gentler, still strict and firm, but now the cruelty behind it diminish little by little.

Until, Thomas breaks. He flees. Scared for his life, longing for some place he could be accepted. Free. To do what he wants, to have dignity, to have people beside him who do not see him as something less than. His people. He aches for something more.

So he runs away. He already did once. He surely could do it again.

Jasper, however, goes after him, with a few other vampires, all under Maria's order, to kill Thomas. Make him an example for others. They split to cover more ground.

Jasper finds him. They fight, and while this time is a bit harder to do it, Jasper still wins. Again.

And Thomas breaks down crying. Knowing his ends is nearing. Asking for mercy, saying how unfair all of it was. A slave his entire life, to be manipulated into another prison. He just wants his family, he wants freedom, he wants to live. He is not ready to die yet. Fuck! This is all so fucking unfair! How is this fair? That Jasper the killer, the monster, the one who torture and kill people in his damn cult gets to have a life. But he, who has done nothing wrong besides aparently being born black, is the one who never got a chance to live on his own. For himself.

Now, you may ask, What the fuck is Jasper doing while this whole monologue is happening? Well, he is freaking out.

:)

Not only because of Thomas' words, but also because of his feelings. Jasper feels the heartbreaking melancholy, the fury, the despair and hopelessness. He can feel it all, amped up, cause he, in some sort of fucked up way, feels a conection to Thomas. Jasper goes to his knees. In complete defeat and misery. And with a startle, he realizes, as he looks as the young adult, crying, sobbing in the snow, he doesn't want to kill Thomas.

He never wants to kill the people Maria tells him to. But he does anyways, for her. Now, however, it comes crashing down on him, how he DOESN'T want to kill Thomas. And how Jasper feels for him. Jasper now regards Thomas as person, like himself. And takes a decision.

"Run" Jasper sobs, on his knees, tears streaming down his face. Trying his best to just pull himself together. "I'll lie and say i killed you. Now run."

Thomas doesn't need more than that. He takes off. And Jasper stays and just watch, his vision blurry, as the man he spared runs to hopefully his freedom.

Now. Don't be mistaken. Jasper isn't fixed yet. Ideas like racism, homophobia or shit that has been drilled into your mind since birth, don't go away that easily. But now Jasper actively fights against this notion that was put into his head.

Also, this would be the point in which Jasper would spur into consciousness and realize Maria doesn't care about him. He doesn't leave imediatly, but soon enough, he does.

And in his journey, Jasper meets a lot of different people. Of different ethnicities, and values, and ideals. He learns.

And in learning, he meets other people of color, some free and happy, some bound by chains and suffering, to those he lends a helping hand to break those shackles.

I dont know if this is said in the movies, but Jasper, only later, will learn how to change people's emotions. Him trying to lull his victims into peacefulness as they die. Trying to confort them or himself, he doesn't know.

And then, he meets his ray of sunchine wife, Alice.

I don't think i want to change anything about their relationship. I just think it would take time for Jasper to open up to Alice, because trauma. But, with time and Alice relentless determination and cuteness, she brings his walls down.

And as he is trying to learn to feed from animal and not humans (which by the way, is an oportunity he jumps at. Eager to not feel his victims emotions. Although, can Jasper feel animal's emotions? It doesnt matter, here he can't), Jasper would little by little tell her about his past. First the not so bad things, to the bad, and then the horrible and unforgiving things.

She forgives him.

And, at some point, i dont know how or when, but he breaks down. And starts crying and freaking out. And Alice conforts him.

And what gets him is, Alice doesn't think Jasper is an annoyance. She is happy he lets her confort him. And then he can't help but remember Maria, and how she would confort him, oh so gently, while feeling annoyed, frustated, sometimes downright disgusted. He never thought she didn't love him, but he knew he was a bother like this, weak and fragile, vulnerable, so he understood why she felt those emotions. Now though, all of Alice feelings are bright, worried sure, but... he couldn't put into words, she had something. So strong and reliable. Warm, and non-judgmental. Patient and kind.

She cares. She truly cares for him.

And that just makes him cry harder. Not once she felt like he was a bother. Not once she let go of him.

Then, in twilight, telling Bella about his past, he says battle scars, but not with a fucking grin on his fucking face. No. He looks remorseful. Guilt clear on his face.

He tell about his past, about the confederate army with sadness, anger. But not so much because i don't think he'd be that emotional with Bella and also because, Alice, and time, helped him to come to terms with his wrongdoings.

And tells about Maria bla bla bla. And then, Alice comes to recue cause hubby is sad.

Ah! I love them so much, your honor!

And, to end, later, way later, after Bella becomes a vampire, he comes across Thomas. In a coven, content.

And fuck, Jasper feels so happy for him.

Their reecounter is not something extremely emotional. Because, well, while both played important parts on each other's life, they never were friends or something.

So, their talk is simple enough. Thomas thanks him for sparing his life. Jasper asks for forgiveness.

I am not sure if they would become friends now. I mean, maybe, like Jasper is a changed person and they had a history, sure a bad one, but still maybe they could understand each better than other people.

But then again, Jasper pretty much tortured and abused Thomas. So, even though Jasper saved his life later on and Thomas himself isn't hung up on it (or he is???), but Thomas might not want to have any relationship with Jasper. Because, while he can see Jasper changed, he can't bear to share space with him for too long. Its completely fine to not want any contact with Jasper, the blond would certainly be mindful of his choice, and would respect it.

But maybe, someone from Thomas' coven could have been helped by Jasper.

I don't know. I think it would be too forceful. Thomas is happy like that.

Though, it could be done, i could see many ways they could end up friends and leave their history behind. I guess i just don't want to. Jasper did what he did. And while he regrets it now, he still did it.

So, yeah. I dont them to be friends.

Jasper deals with the consequences of his mistakes. But he takes it. Alice being always at his side no matter what, brightening his days, and his entire being.

Jasper wasn't a good man, he regrets far more than any would bother to count, but he does.

But, Alice is there to always remind him, that he might've not been a good man, but now he is.

And that is how you do it.

Thank you very much for reading this. It ended up being way longer than i intended, but i just got carried away.

Anyways, that's it. I don't know if there will be a part 3. I could talk about Rosalie and Emmet or Carlisle and Esme. But i don't know yet.

Guys, don't forget, this is only for fun. It's okay if you don't agree with me.

If you want to say your piece about it, remember to always be nice!

Take care! Bye, guys!

[naartjie-hijabi]

As an Indian from Durban I *totally* get you with that anon ask, and ugh, I’m sorry that you’re getting that sort of thing even online. Like… sure, whilst BEE and such aren’t perfect (most black people in our country still live in the country, people on top profit), they’re not white discrimination. I went to private school and I can tell anon that while on paper things like BEE seem like they’re ’against whites’ or smth, white people here in general still have an INSANE amount of money, connections, and assets from the Apartheid era, often built on the human rights abuses of that time, and most don’t care about helping disadvantaged people in the country now. My parents saved for decades for our house, which is fairly large and built on part of the LAWN of our neighbour’s house (a several story house owned by an older white guy). His kid went to my private school, and so I found out that this wasn’t even the only house he owned. My family only paid off our house last year, since my dad had to drop out of uni as he couldn’t afford it and opted to get a job to support his family instead. He broke his leg at that job and it still hurts him because he couldn’t afford time off to get it fixed. All that inequality from Aparthied, a lot of it and a lot of its echoes are still here. To say that it’s not is… you know?

honestly, I'm just hoping that the previous anon was asking out of good faith and nothing more.

BEE and BBEEE in practice aren't great but these systems that were implemented to ensure that POC have an equal footing with white people are being abused by white people. My dad worked in a company where he was the ONLY person of colour in a management position and getting paid a basic salary whereas his white colleagues got paid more for the same job or even less but he was there for "points" - not that he was unqualified but he wasn't being treated equally.

One of my friends is white and while she is by no means rich, she's fairly middle class altho in SA that's barely anything, but she's slightly more well-off than I am. Even still, her skin colour grants her privilege in walking in places where I as a coloured person would feel so uncomfortable. In 2024, people still stare when your skin colour is different and it's so disgustingly backwards.

But I totally understand how you feel anon. my dad couldn't finish uni cause he dropped out to fight against Apartheid, my mom was friends with Ashley Kriel, a coloured freedom fighter who was killed by the Apartheid regime, my uncle and aunt had to flee the country, meanwhile my aunt back home played white because she has pale skin and my dad who's incredibly dark for a coloured man was called derogatory names growing up because of his skin colour.

I'm also so incredibly sorry for your dad and pray that things will only get better for you and your family and you're totally right, denying the realities of Apartheid and the consequences thereof is a slap in the face to everyone who suffered. The people who complain are the people who benefitted and are more worried about losing what they gained through others' losses than helping or caring about anyone that's not part of their community.

The denial of white privilege and the idea that white people are being discriminated against is ludicrous. I live in CAPE TOWN, opposite every affluent white neighborhood is informal settlements. Hell, the neighborhood I currently live in is a white area and people own FERRARIS whereas my family's car breaks down every 5 minutes.

But anyways, I truly do believe that South Africa will gey better. I love this country wholeheartedly and I just want everyone to experience the same level of privilege and have access to all that is needed to succeed in life.

[starseneyes]

Chenford REWIND - Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 3 Eps 4, 5, & 6

This chunking out is very intentional on my part, much as I was with Eps 1, 2, & 3. Look, 4 and 5 show Tim and Lucy partnering up (as in a "partnership") more than I feel like they had previous to this. They had a shared mission. And with that shared mission, they developed a rapport that was shaken and tested in episode 6.

In short: This is gonna be quite the ride.

SPOILER ALERT: Standard warning that there are spoilers afoot. Yes, I know that's not what that word means. As I am the Meta writer, I reserve the right to be a bit weird at times. It's my way. But, know that I do try to write these without foreknowledge. Spoiling the eps and everything that came before is fair game, though.

If you're ready (and I'm more than ready), let's dive in.

"Sabotage" AKA Beastie Boys is Stuck in My Head

"Only Bradford and Chen are in the know about this. I'm gonna assign you all to the same sector. So every time you and Stanton take a call, they will be automatically filled in."

Lucy and Tim are teaming up to help Jackson, and I low-key love it. Think about it, Jackson must have told Lucy about Tim backing him up with Grey. That's huge. If Lucy was proud of her TO future husband already, she's about to be bursting with pride.

This also signifies the first real team-up of Tim and Lucy. As much as Tim protests their partnership, this episode and the next really highlight how naturally they fall into that rhythm.

Jackson and Lucy have very little time left as Rookies, sure, but Tim said previously that the last month of her training was going to be even more intense. Jackson's issues with Stanton derail that a bit, and allows us to glimpse Tim and Lucy at a more equal footing than we've ever seen them.

Yes, Lucy has stood up to him. She doesn't let him walk all over her. She's always stood her ground when it mattered. But this episode is the start of a string of give-and-take between them that we haven't seen before.

"Seward and Waring. Let's go." "Relax, we can't be too obvious."

We. Did you say WE. We!!! We!! We have a WE!!

Yes, I'm being ridiculous, but it's Season 3, and I can only imagine how all y'all Day 1 shippers were able to hold out so long.

But this also backs up my assertion that there's a "partnership" to this episode and the next that stands out from the past. "We" are on this assignment together.

And, yes, I know that every time they go out together there's an implied "we", but Tim is very quick to separate their roles so often that it's refreshing to see the inclusive language.

"This is so unfair to Jackson." "I know. Having to ride next to a guy hoping he doesn't cross the line. I can't imagine what that's like." "I can."

That look says "What do you mean?" Because she hasn't ridden next to a lot of other people, so Tim's wondering how she could possibly mean him.

"Look, my first day as a Rookie, I thought you were gonna be my Doug." "Excuse me? How am I anything like that guy?"

This is our proxy. For the human being who isn't spouting off racial slurs and being overtly discriminatory, it can be difficult to turn the mirror on ourselves and see the blind-spots in our own understanding of racism.

I'm not going to get on my soap box (because, I have a lot to say), but I want to highlight the roles, here. Tim is the one representing many of us who may be blind to the way racism is ingrained in ourselves and our society.

Tim is a good man who doesn't realize there are some not-great things in his choices. We'll get into that later, but the point is that Tim has some learning to do. He needs some blind spots illuminated. And, like in so many other cases, Lucy is the light-bringer.

"Do you remember our first day out?" ... "So, what. I'm a bad cop now?"

Too often Tim sees things in black and white when the reality is that life is more grey, most of the time. He thinks you're a good cop or a bad cop. But, he's a good cop who has made some bad calls, and that's more complex, and harder for Tim to grapple with.

This is not to say that Tim is stupid. Not at all. But we've seen how he shuts out the world entirely. He's an all-or-nothing personality, and he's lived a long time believing the worst in everything and everyone.

Think about how he blames himself for everything that goes wrong around him. It's part of that "all-or-nothing" personality trait, because he sees himself too often as nothing. He struggles to see his own worth because he's operated for so long with the assumption that he lacks it.

Lucy is trying to help him investigate himself and draw out the good and address the bad. Classic psychology stuff, but very difficult for Tim. It's hard for him to admit mistakes when he thinks he's in the right in his job because his job has been the only place where he has felt he held value.

And now he has to consider that he hasn't always done right in the one place where he felt good about himself. This is tough stuff. But we need him to go through it. Because he needs to grow.

"Not at all. But that was a bad stop. How do you think those men felt about that interaction with you? You think it was a positive experience?" "I'm not looking for 5 star Yelp reviews. I've got a job to do." "Well, so did they."

Lucy's being the calm, rational one. It's easy to be calm and rational when you're not the one who screwed up. It's never fun owing up to a mistake, right? But it's even worse when seen through the lens of racism.

Tim has to evaluate this moment, and that can cascade to so many other moments... moments where he made the wrong call. Moments he didn't realize he was in the wrong.

"They were just trying to get to work. And then... they met you." "Excessive and unnecessary use of the horn is against the law. Plus they had several vehicle violations."

He's rationalizing. He's trying to remind himself that he's a good cop, that he wasn't doing anything against the law. But "wrong" and "law" don't always overlap. Like, folks hiding Jews during World War II were breaking the law, but absolutely in the right.

Similarly, you can be following the letter of the law, but still be outside of what is right. Tim's finding himself in that murky place for the first time.

"I could have impounded their truck." "And that justifies you terrorizing them?" "Terrorizing?" "Yeah."

It's the same word she used for Stanton and the Black family he terrorized. Tim doesn't see himself as the same at all, but it's striking a nerve.

"Really? That's it. You know, don't say another word to me. We're done with this conversation."

Tim isn't shutting this down because he's angry. It's easy to think that, I know, but if you look at Season 2 Tim shutting down Lucy talking about his learning disability, you see it for what it really is—Tim's uncomfortable.

This is making him uncomfortable, and discussing it further isn't productive. He knows himself well enough to know that. But the wheels don't stop turning after the discussion.

"Are you still mad at me?" "I'm not mad." "Really? Because you look mad. At least, madder than usual."

He's not mad, Lucy. He's grumpy. But, I'll admit, the first time I saw this, I thought he was mad, too.

"Okay, I'm not mad. But I am upset."

Here we go...

"I knew it." "At myself."

Lucy was not expecting that and I wasn't, either, the first time through! But I think both me and my on-screen bestie are pleasantly surprised by her future husband, here.

"You're right. I used the situation with the gardeners without thinking about the impact I had on them. I can't undo it, but I can make sure I never do it, again."

Remember, Tim is the Proxy, and this is the blueprint. He's showing us how to acknowledge the past, stop making excuses for it because we were in the wrong and we're no longer ignoring it, and how to move forward with integrity.

For Lucy Chen, she's getting to see her man's growth in real time. Look, Season 3 has them on a more equal footing socially, even if not professionally. They are friends who respect one another's opinions and thoughts.

Lucy isn't guiding Tim through this. All she had to do was hold up the mirror, and he took care of the rest. Not everyone is like that, of course, but it's refreshing for her to see. She's used to Tim being "old school" and "set in his ways". So, seeing him choose to grow is a beautiful thing.

"That's progress. I'm proud of you." "I'm thrilled."

Tim's trying to play it off like it doesn't mean anything, but we know the truth... he cares about how Lucy sees him. Throughout their year together as TO and Rookie, she has gotten into his heart in a very real way. No, it's not romantic, yet. But it's meaningful.

Lucy's is one of the few opinions that matters to Tim.

And Lucy in this scene is tremendous. We're already a far cry from her frustrations with Tim's excuses. Because he's done making excuses—for himself and other people.

I love the physical contact she uses to affirm her affection (again, not romantic... an open-palmed arm-touch is rarely an invitation to a carnal knowledge seminar for two. But, look at the way she looks at him when he turns away.

Tell me Lucy Chen will never feel anything for this man after she looked at him like that. You can't. There's no way.

Because as she looks upon him, seeing the growth in real-time, admiring the commitment he's made, finding more common ground with him... it's deepening the connection.

"The porch pirate is a doggy?"

This. Read. KILLS. Me. Every time I'm laughing so hard I'm about to wake one of the kids. Melissa O'Neil's timing is choice, we know, but her read on this one is above and beyond. Oh, it slays me!

"Who is under arrest?"

Yes, this whole seen is a laugh, but I love the little "Can you believe this guy?" look Tim gives Lucy as the suspect tries to change his tune. It's Tim looking to Lucy hoping she'll see the expression on this face.

He's giving more in Season 3. He's initiating more with her that's friendly and borderline flirty. And I love it.

"Hey, what's the deal with Jackson? Kid's questioning all my stops." "Sound like the marks of a good student." "I don't see you letting Chen question your every move."

Lemme stop you right there because you missed this entire day where Lucy was questioning Tim's moves by calling him on his shit. But, yeah, of course you don't see it because you're not on their calls. Numbnuts.

Look, I'm not going to waste creative names on this toolbag. He gets bare minimum effort from me.

PAUSE: But Brandon Routh gets lots of love from me. Long story short, last year, my Autistic/ADHD son got to meet him at a convention. His rendition of Superman is the only one that has gotten my boy through countless dental episodes.

My Middle is Superman-obsessed and when BR asked him, "What was your favorite part?" he breathlessly exclaimed, "Everything" and meant it with every ounce of his being.

Brandon Routh treated my boy with such dignity, care, and kindness. I spent so much of that day at the convention trying to help my Middle navigate everything, but with BR it was effortless because of the space he created for my son. So, all the love to the actor.

But his character can fuck right off.

"Maybe the issue isn't the student, it's the teacher."

Tim's pissed and barely contained. He's seeing things in a different light, with Lucy's help, and now that he's seeing clearly, he's locked in. It's not that he never noticed, but that he let them slide by before they could stick out. He's done with that.

But the introspection Tim was able to achieve with Lucy is because he was willing to learn. Willing to see that he'd screwed up. That's not Stanton. Stanton's immediate thought is of Lopez and he spends zero on self-introspection.

Change isn't possible if you aren't willing to self-examine.

Lucy At Tim's Desk

Have we ever seen her sit so casually with him? I love it. It's giving me Castle vibes, oddly enough, even though that's where the comparisons end. But, I do love having them together at his desk, because it's showing even more that these two are a unit in this string of episodes.

Yes, I know they ride together all the time. But not like this. There are no Tim Tests in these episodes. There's no lecturing (at least in episodes 4 & 5).

Lucy and Tim are united on a mission to protect Jackson, and in these last few weeks of her Probationary period, that's taken precedence.

Which should show all of us just how seriously Tim Bradford is taking this whole thing. It's growth.

And Tim and Lucy's conversation gives us more exposition. We now know why this has to be done so delicately, so carefully.

When I worked in news way back in the day, I was sent to a two-day seminar with the local police department, including an intimate look at their Internal Affairs procedures and why they were put into place. I won't go into details, but it was grim.

The layers and layers of red tape may be protection, but they can also be an unearned shield. Stanton is using it as the latter.

The Former Rookie

I'm not going to recap every bit of this scene, but I have to say that I love that Tim is taking this so seriously that he's trying to find different angles for his approach. It's completely in-character, and I love how it adds to the story, here.

Does this end up hurting things? Yes. That's part of story-telling and, frankly, part of life. Sometimes the best intentions end up making things worse.

Tim Has Jackson's Back

And Jackson knows it. Look, Lucy is still Tim's Rookie, and Jackson is still a Rookie, but Tim's no longer playing the power lines like he did in first season. And this is all because of Lucy.

Lucy is the one who connects people. She bridges people. She brings them together. I can think of so many Future Instances where folks are in the same room all because of Lucy.

Tim and Jackson had a casual relationship that primarily consisted of Tim threatening Jackson if he let anything happen to Lopez, and Jackson asking for the odd bits of advice. But now Tim has Jackson's back. That's huge.

Before in Grey's office, Tim stepped in because he knew his voice held weight. He knew it would help. He made the call to try to be a part of the solution instead of looking the other way one more time.

And even though Jackson (and Lucy) can't wait to be TO-free, it's good to have an officer like Tim on your side. Someone with a spotless record. Someone who is so often senior officer in a situation. Someone who is finally working on themselves with a gentler touch.

FAST FORWARD: There's so much I can say about 4x01 and how a lot of that was set up in these episodes, drawing Tim more in with the Rookies, solidifying a connection between Jackson and Tim, and Lucy being the bridge to the two. I don't want to divert too much attention, but I will say the impact of all that is greater because of how it was earned.

"Lockdown" AKA Game over, bitch

"He gave Jackson a blue page?" "It's not your fault." "Of course it is."

Lucy knows Tim. Remember, Tim tried to say that we couldn't truly know other people, but she knows him. Before he even said anything, she knows he's carrying the guilt. Like he did with her, with Mitch. He blames himself because of the trauma he carries.

And, sure, it's easy to say, "I made Choice A, and that caused Choice B to happen". But, it's far more complex than that. Because, had Asswipe been a man of integrity, Choice B would never have happened.

Because Choice B would have happened at some point, even without Choice A, in this scenario. Even if Tim had never contacted the former Rookie, Jackson would have gotten a blue page someday. It was only a matter of time.

Tim is missing that key component—he's not responsible for the choices of others.

"Oh, uh, de-escalate. We do not want to make things worse for Jackson." "Hey, Stanton, you ever want to brush up on arrest-control techniques, I'm available."

Did Lucy straight up leave the suspect to follow Tim!? I was rolling the first time I watched Lucy chasing after Tim.

Wifey's trying to keep her husband from losing his cool on the neighbor who likes to leave his dog's shit in everyone else's yard then point the fingers at them as though it's their fault.

"We are on duty, so, come on."

Lucy even touches his arm to try to get through to him, to de-escalate this whole situation.

"Aw, that's sweet. Your hot little Boot's trying to rescue you."

"The fuck did you say?" Lucy's look is twofold. First off, yes, she's hot and short, but that's not who she is, you objectifying Walking Feces Coil.

Second, don't imply Tim needs Lucy to save her. She has full confidence in her man to handle himself if it came to it. She wasn't here because she was worried about Tim. She was worried about Jackson who is defenseless against this monster.

But she can't say that. And the more she stands next to this Sentient Turd, the more she feeds off of his asshole energy—matching it in intensity.

"You're the one that's gonna need rescuing." "Are you threatening me?" "Oh, I'm just saying I I have a great hair-pull take-down that I have been dying to try."

Stanton doesn't even know what to say to that. He's not used to having his authority questioned by a Boot. And Tim does nothing to stop it, from Stanton's point of view.

But, we know Tim putting a hand on Lucy, and guiding her away is a big deal. Like, she'll touch his arm every so often in this era, but Tim's fairly hands-off with Lucy. But right here? He mimics her techniques to try to calm her down.

"Alright, Boot. Come on. We got a suspect to book."

In a strange way, I think Lucy being the one to lose her cool was what got Tim back on track. It's his job to train her, reel her in, and give her guidance. And the second she was the one with the pent-up rage, he was able to switch gears.

And. How. Fucking. Perfect. Are. They?!

Because we all need someone in our lives who can balance us out when we're spiraling. There are times when the weight of everything I'm carrying gets too much, and Matthew will wordlessly hold me. And there are times I see the stress bottling up too much within him, and I'll give him the space he needs to reset.

The best relationships are all about give-and-take. As far as foundations go, I'd say Tim and Lucy are on their way.

"What happened to 'de-escalate, we don't want to make things harder for Jackson'?" "I don't know. That was super weird. I feel like I had a testosterone contact high."

I fully believe people have energy within and around them, and Lucy was responding to Stanton's. Like, it would be fun to say, "She was defending her man!" But, really, Lucy is more likely to hold Tim back from beating the crap out of someone than to shield him from them.

One of my best friends has a brother. Let's call him "Joe". Now, Joe and I apparently both have reps for being the sweetest people who love to bring others together and help them have fun. We. Can't. Stand. Each. Other. And we don't know why.

Like, we're Facebook friends. We line up a lot in terms of politics, ideologies, raising our kids. We respect one another and each think the other is a good person. But something about our energies in the same room is toxic and it sets us both off. We have no idea why!

So, Lucy feeding off Stanton's energy (and some of Tim's, too) and being set off by it it completely relatable to me.

"Alright, keep in close contact with Jackson today. If they call for backup of any kind, we're there." "Agreed."

Agreed!? Agreed!? This is slaying me, and only folks who've made it to 5x10 will know why. But it's always a good thing when one of these two says, "Agreed".

I love the synchronized look back and they way Tim keeps leaning into the inclusive language. This is partnership stuff.

"Damn it. We got to get out there. Guys like Doug don't like being backed into a corner."

Lucy thought pulling the Dad card was a good move, but Tim's been around these guys a lot longer. He's been making excuses for them his entire career, military and police, right? That's roughly 20 years or so, so he realizes this is bad.

And Lucy doesn't question it. She recognizes this isn't a time when she needs to wonder about Tim's motives. There are no tests involved. Because there's nothing but sincerity in his actions.

When Tim stepped into that office to stand alongside Jackson, he crossed a threshold into a part of himself that will always be there from now on. He was always seen as a man of integrity, but he had this horrible blind spot. No more.

"I lost Jackson. We got separated."

Bitch, you're not fooling anyone. Tim goes around Stanton and Lucy doesn't even acknowledge him. No one's believing this fool's mouth.

Body Cam Bitch

Jackson plays quite possibly the most ingenious play considering the circumstances. He's been badly beaten. He's got his TO over him pulling the "partner" card when that ass is the one who allowed this to happen.

Lucy is trying to take care of her roommate and best friend while Tim gets on the radio, immediately calling for help, giving details so the paramedics are ready to leap into action as soon as they arrive.

Stanton's faking concern. If he really cared, this wouldn't have happened. If they really had been separated and he was just coming upon Jackson... he still wouldn't be the one on the radio. We know that.

He hovers above Jackson and only one word slips through Jackson's lips, because he wants Stanton to know what's coming. "Camera."

And Jackson Turns. The. Camera. Back. On. BOOM! Two minutes of inaction caught on tape and available for Grey (and everyone else) to witness.

It never. should. have. come. to. this. Our system is so badly broken, and it's hard to know where to begin. We're doing our best to correct our own blind spots, to help the children avoid forming them in the first place, and to live lives that aren't just "not racist" but are anti-racist.

But I wish there was more I could do to rework this entire broken system.

"I've seen enough. On me."

And Tim gets to be backup for the take-down. Tim, who turned a blind eye too many times has rerouted himself, and now gets to be a part of stripping this asshole of his power.

"Back off." "Give me a reason."

Because Tim is in the right. And Ass-wipe is in the wrong.

Told you I wasn't going creative on his names. He doesn't deserve them.

"Revelations" AKA 90's Fashion, UC-Style

"Listen, I have to write a paper for school about gender roles int he workplace, and I'm supposed to interview someone who's working a job that was traditionally considered male." "And you want to interview... me?"

Lucy's daughter is hanging at her place for the first time! Right? And Lucy is making her daughter food and talking. Oh! This makes my heart so happy.

Because Lucy's family has been so un-supportive of her, I love watching her build her Found Family.

"If you're not busy." "I would be honored."

Tamara's taking after Tim here, again, just a little. I mentioned before that when she asked if there were any other dumb questions (when she met her future adoptive mom and dad) that she took after Tim, there.

I think she also takes after Tim with her absolute lack of trust. She likes Lucy. She's been warming up to Lucy. But, she still doesn't trust her fully. So, she plays it off as if it's not a big deal, but we know it's a huge deal.

"Only 10 more days until no TOs."

Lucy is so ready to be done being Tim's Rookie. To get to make her own decisions. But I do think this year has been important for her. We've seen her grow a lot, and those of us from the future know that'll be addressed when she crosses the finish line.

"What kind of classes do they teach?" "No idea. Patrol isn't allowed to know UC trade secrets. So I just ordered Room Service, worked on my tan."

Tim. Tanning. I don't know why, but the thought of Tim feeling comfortable lying around, doing nothing is so jarring. It really speaks to how much more relaxed he must have been during the "good years" of his marriage.

Also, I'm betting Tim was sunning next to a pool and not going in. If the dude's cautious about the ocean's muck, I don't blame him for not going in a pool, either. Children pee in them. Like, all the time.

"You bastard, you get prettier with age." ... "Lucy Chen, Mack Daniels."

Tim is beaming to see Mack, and from the way they greet one another, it looks like they've known one another a while, and that smiley Tim was normal back then.

Tim casually introduces Mack to Lucy, too. No identifying her as a Rookie or even as an officer. Mack is a friend, and Lucy is, too. And I love that we get to see him introducing her as such. It really shows the growth.

"What are you on?" "It's just a little oxy."

Tim knows what this looks like. He knows all too well... and he doesn't want to see another person in his life crash and burn.

Lucy can see how tense Tim is, how worried. She's very in tune to Tim at this point, and she knows more about Isabel than most.

"He seems... nice." "Yeah, believe it or not, he used to be the most clean-cut guy I ever met."

Tim's mind is reeling, because he's not just looking at Mack. He's looking at Isabel, at his memories, at all the things he should've done and didn't. At all the ways he believes he failed her.

He's hoping he's wrong. But Tim's not the best at "hope".

"Chen, though you were running to the bathroom."

As if he didn't have enough reminders of Isabel at this thing, now he sees his Rookie sneaking a peek at the seminar that he told her had trade secrets.

Notice, too, how he defaulted to "Chen" when he called her out. He's not approaching her as a friend, but trying to guide her as a TO away from a path that he thinks is wrong for her.

And, let's be clear, no one is in charge of Lucy's ultimate path but her. But Tim thinks he is helping. He thinks he is protecting her. This isn't done out of malice, but from a genuine place.

But genuine, seemingly kind things can still be the wrong things.

"So, you were spying on one of the seminars." "No." *look* "Maybe a little bit."

Lucy, honey, no. He was standing right behind you. Did you think you were wearing an invisibility cloak?

That you distorted the Matrix long enough for him to miss you standing right there with the door open looking like me and my little brother during one of mom's "Adult Parties" where we had to hang out in the hallway? Come on!

Plus, that knowing look from Tim is giving me 5x10 "No you're not" vibes because he knows her (and he freakin' saw her).

"Seriously? You're not going to give her a heads-up?" "No way I'm getting in the middle of that."

Tim! You don't want to get involved because you think that'll make it easier? Better? For who? I get it, it's "none of your business". But Beth was your friend. As was Mack. Sure, you can let them have it out, but sometimes getting involved is what moves the needle. Sometimes getting involved is how change happens.

Think of all the times Lucy got involved with Tim's issues when she didn't need to.

You can argue she was sticking her nose in where it wasn't welcome... but recording books for him helped him pass the Sergeant's exam. Telling him off when he was considering helping Isabel helped remind him who he was. Yes, Lucy oversteps a lot where Tim is concerned... but he's better for it.

So I can see why she thinks he should get involved. But I also get his perspective and why he wants to hang back. He hates people getting into his business (looking at you, Lucy Chen), so he doesn't want to do it to someone else.

Lucy Spots the VIN Photographer

I love that Lucy was the one to spy it, they put it together as a team, and then got to work as a team. It really feels like a continuation of the more "partnership" vibe of the last two episodes.

"Tim. Narcan."

Lucy Chen, super hero just waltzes in with what he needs. They are so in sync right now. She tosses and he grabs it and gets back to work on Mack.

These two both have really good aim with tossing and catching things. Someone should talk to them about joining the NYPD baseball league, if they have one. *wink*

"You downed opioid with whiskey. Alright? That is not pain management. That is a problem.

Exactly. Tim's calling Mack out. Yes, he did it before, but he took the lie hoping it was truth. Damnit,Tim hoped. And look how it turned out.

"... I know addicts lie so much they don't know what's true anymore." "Hey, I'm not your ex-wife." "Really? 'Cause from where I'm standing you look exactly like Isabel. Look, I'm not going to make the same mistake I did with her."

Tim's still blaming himself for what happened with Isabel. He blamed himself for Mitch. He blamed himself for Lucy. It's a pattern of his.

But this. This is new. Tim is taking a step outside of his comfort zone and addressing this issue head on.

He's had practice, the last few weeks, addressing an issue head-on that he used to let slide. We're seeing the long-term effects of that starting to play out. Tim's done letting things slide.

As Tim is watching another UC in his circle burn out, Lucy is in the parking garage taking her first steps toward that profession... and Tim will fear... that path.

"So, you know we're going to have to talk about it, right?" "Look, it was a momentary lapse in judgment, and Tim has already scolded me for listening in, but I gotta say, um, what I heard at your seminar was amazing."

This isn't a passing fancy for Lucy. This isn't Emmett-level interest. When it comes to UC, this is Tim-level (someday) interest. Lucy is committed to this idea more and more. It's what she wants, and as soon as she sinks her teeth into it, she won't let go.

And, yes, you're not the only one picturing her sinking her teeth into Tim right now, but we're nowhere near that with these two... yet.

"I actually, I have time for drinks right now, if you want."

This is a vote of confidence, and a far cry from the Speed Dating incident. Nyla is sincere on both points, and Lucy knows it.

"I have a homework thing with Tamara. She won't mind if we do it a little bit later."

Lucy thinks she's still going to make it after drinks. So, I applaud her for calling Tamara and rescheduling.

The problem is that Lucy still doesn't have the ability to multi-task her life. As we can see later in this same scene, she doesn't take into account how long a side mission is going to take compared to a few drinks in town. It doesn't even cross her mind.

Look, I love Lucy, but we all have places to grow as humans. And each character on this show has an arc. Tim's is more apparent, sometimes, because he had the furthest to go. We met him when he was at the bottom of himself.

Lucy is in better shape in a lot of ways, but she still has a lot of growth to do. She has a lot of developing to do in solidifying herself as an individual who stands without the approval of others, she needs to learn how to balance work and home life, and she needs to believe in herself.

We get a small reminder of that through her failing Tamara tonight.

Because, look, before the baddie showed up, she was still talking to June and it was still going to be a bit. I don't think they added time in dealing with the baddies. Lucy simply dropped the ball.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself...

"I was about to go out for drinks with a colleague of mine, Lucy Chen."

First Tim introduced her at a "friend" level, and now Nyla's calling Lucy a "colleague." Just a few episodes at the range, Nyla was quick to call Lucy "Rookie". But the barriers are starting to fall. Season 3 has shown the lines separating TO and Rookie are blurring.

And. I. Love. That. Because it creates that sense of community before they cross the Finish Line. We all know that Nolan will be left behind when Lucy and Jackson get there.

But he won't be left out of the community because they've built it separate from a graduation celebration. These are more than just TOs and Rookies. They are more than cops. They are people who care about one another, on and off the job.

"... we're gonna have to take a rain-check on our drinks, but-" "Totally." "Unless you wanna come with."

Fuck, yeah! I mean, "Yeah, sure." Right? Because Lucy's not going to turn down the change to jump right into the action! We already saw that she's not afraid of rabbit holes after everything she's survived, so bring. it. on.

Also, fans of the final scene of 5x08 might see a little similarity in Lucy's "surprise" face. Right!? I can't be the only one seeing it!

I hereby dub this Lucy's, "My dreams are coming true!?!" face.

"You're the chemist. She's the chemist."

That's. My. WOMAN! Look at my girl coming out here in the blink of an eye, unflinching, jumping into character without a second thought because she knows it's what's needed. BOOM!

"I can't believe we just did that."

Lucy's nerves are shaking out because, damn, that was terrifying. Like, she didn't get to go into that situation with the armor of being a cop. She had to be a quick-thinker to stay alive.

And. She. Did. It. Nyla and June got to see it up-close. Lucy's a badass.

"Look, give me another chance. Tonight. I promise I'll be there." "Okay. Sure."

Look, Tamara has been burned. A lot. Like Tim, she doesn't trust people, and it takes a lot to get through. She put herself out there to Lucy, and Lucy. didn't. show. That hurts.

So, while Tamara wants to trust Lucy, last night is a reminder of why she doesn't trust people, as a rule. They only disappoint you.

But, like her someday-adoptive-father, Tamara will come to trust Lucy. And come to open up a bit more to the idea that there is some good in this world.

"I just wanted to make sure you saw the repercussions. He's going to lose his pension." "Yeah, I-I struggled with that. But it's what I should have done with Isabel."

It's heartbreaking, the effects of addiction. The unintended consequences.

I know this all too well. Last December we lost my husband's 5-year-old great-nephew after they believe he got into his mother's fentanyl. This was not even two years after my husband's nephew overdosed on the same drug.

But, let me say, while we're on the subject—addicts need help. They need people like Tim who are willing to do the right thing, who wants Mack to go to rehab and get clean. Get sober.

I'm not taking a position as judge, here. Not at all.

But, Tim's right. You can't have a guy with a gun running around blitzed out of his mind. It's not right. Mack needs to get help and get clean.

This is not an easy decision. But after everything he went through with Jackson and Stanton... after everything he's been through with Isabel... Tim is prepared to make this decision. And Grey stands in agreement.

"Chen's going on a special assignment today. She'll be joining Harper on an undercover operation."

Ooooh, he's mad. He's pissed.

It's been One Day. ONE. Tim just caught her looky-loo'ing, and now he finds out she's already on an op!? What the hell, Grey!?

The Op

Tim slips up to the open door (guess it's not-so-secret inside the building) and crosses his arms, defensive, as he leans against the door frame.

I find it fascinating that Lucy's actually out-of-focus on this. Tim's in sharp focus. And he's pissed.

"But last night all our hard work almost fell apart, until the quick thinking of Officer Chen saved my ass."

We're establishing for everyone in that room that she's a badass. They need to know that she's got what it takes, and that it's their job to make sure she does her job without getting killed.

"Chen, stand up so they can see what you're wearing."

Ah, the uniform of my people. Babies of the 80's and 90's had a thing for Jean Jackets. I've had a few in my time. When I was a kid, you had to put buttons on them, too.

Tim turns around so everyone can see her, so they know what their UC is wearing, and that she's not one of the baddies.

When she turns, she spies Tim leaning in the doorway. Asserting his attitude with those arms crossed, scowling at her the whole time.

The smile she was wearing falls away. She knows the cut of that look.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Tim waited. He was polite. But as soon as the briefing is over, he's in Harper's face. Post-DOD he stayed out of the way. But, he's even more protective of Lucy, now.

And it's not romantic. It's not territorial. Tim once failed her, and he's silently vowed to himself to never do it, again. He looks at this situation, and he feels like Lucy's being manipulated that she doesn't fully understand what she's gotten into.

And, frankly, he's not giving her enough credit. If the two of them talked this out, he might see it from her point of view. But, he's too clouded by what happened yesterday with Mack that's sent him right back to everything he went through with Isabel.

"You can't pit an untrained probationary officer against one of the most dangerous crime syndicates in California."

June is listening in with interest. Yeah, you're new here, but I bet you mighta noticed Tim's kinda protective of Lucy.

"I don't want to hear it, Tim. She volunteered."

Tim looks over to Lucy and she can't even look him in the eye. Of all people she knows how he feels about UC, and he can't believe she's serious about this. But she wants what she wants for her life. She's not going to live hers because of what happened to someone else.

That's part of the gift Tim gave her through his (sometimes unorthodox) training year with her. She's learning not to second-guess herself. And she wants this. Indirectly, her going after what she wants here is Tim's fault. So, good job, Tim. You're mad at yourself.

"Grey authorized it, and we have some of the best operational expertise she could ask for." "They know the gladiator care you're walking into. You don't. That's not volunteering. That's being used."

He really is worried about her. He really does have her best interests in mind. He knows he can't pull her from this op. But he had to say it. He had to try to protect her the only way he could.

And, yeah, there's points to what Tim has to say and points to what Nyla has to say. Lucy is untrained. But they all know she can do this. Even Tim—much as he hates this—believes she can do it.

"Hey, don't let Bradford kill your confidence, okay? His... hangups about UC work are his to deal with, not yours." "I kinda hoped that he would be proud of me. Wow, that sounds stupid when I say it out loud."

She's a grown woman. But Tim is an authority figure in her life, and she's struggled with not having support, with not having people believe in her.

Her parents believed in her so long as she stayed on their chosen path. She doesn't need a repeat with Tim. This is what she wants.

"No. It's doesn't. He's your Training Officer. He's gotten you this far. There's nothing wrong with wanting his approval."

Ohh, Nyla. I have a feeling this conversation would've gone slightly different if it was Angela, simply because she knows Chenford's history best. But, yeah, we'll go with what you said.

"You handled yourself like a pro last night. Those instincts can't be taught."

True. But instincts won't be enough forever. Progress takes work. Training. Effort. Tim's not wrong when he talks about Lucy's lack of preparation, here. He's not wrong to say she doesn't have the full picture.

Yeah, I'm conflicted. I'm proud of Lucy. I know she can do this. But, I get where Tim's coming from, too. Lucy is going a bit into the lion's den without being fully armed.

"I know you're worried about Lucy." "Who said I was worried?"

Dude. You may be closed off, but when it comes to worrying about Lucy, you're very easy to read. You forget all these people went through DOD with you. Lucy didn't see you then, but they all did. Your Lucy Worry is showing, man.

"I'm just saying, she can handle herself." "I know she can. I trained her."

But his bravado can't hide the fact that he immediately looks through his view finder. He lost her once. And, no, this isn't romantic. But it's personal. That word Tim hates so much. Lucy is personal to him, now.

"It's go time."

This is how he can protect her. He wants to be the first one to see what's going on, the first one to see the bad guy coming, the first once to call for help, if needed.

"Relax. It's just my boss. And he wants to talk... to you." "Me?"

Lucy. Meet Lion's Den... in the form of a limo.

"Why aren't we going in and arresting everybody?" "We need to see the money first."

This is for us. The audience. We need to know why they aren't rushing in to save Tim's girl.

Lucy Speaking Tagalog

That's. My. GIRL! I was fist-pumping in the air when she opened her mouth and busted that out.

Like, Mr. Baddie thinks he's going to intimidate Lucy and keep her in the dark, but she's a fucking ball of light. You can't cast a shadow dark enough to block her out.

"You speak Tagalog." "My best friend in elementary school grew up in Quezon City."

Who knows if this is true, but Lucy's quickly leaning into it. No need to give him anything more than the bare minimum to stay alive.

And Lucy. Does. Her. Homework. I'm still in shock that Nolan had a better mid-year score than her, but nerves must've been at play because she's a quick study and she is killing it.

The Arrest

Tim bee-lines for Lucy. Anyone who knows them knows he's gotta be the one. He's all about tangibles, right? And being the one to touch her, to guide her, to walk with her... that'll help assure him she's alright.

"You okay?" *nods*

He wants to hear it from her, that nothing bad happened to her in that limo when she was out of sight, that she hasn't been re-traumatized.

And, golly, he doesn't think she's fragile. He doesn't think she's a porcelain doll. He knows she's one of the strongest, toughest people he's ever known. But, he does worry. He does care.

"You did good."

Because she can do this. And look at her soak it in. Look at the little aw-shucks kick she does.

The last two episodes before this, they were operating more like Partners than TO/Rookie. But as soon as she drifted toward undercover, all of those walls came flying back up between them. It was a jarring shift, and Lucy's been worried that she would lose some of his respect.

But Nyla's right... Tim's hangups are his. And he pushed through them enough to tell Lucy that she did a good job.

Lucy's been listening to her own voice, more. She didn't whither when Tim told her off. She didn't change direction. She stayed on the course she wanted. So, she's done second-guessing herself where he's concerned. But, she still wanted his approval.

And... at the end... she got it. And I don't think she even knows why it matters so much. Again, this isn't romantic. But Tim and Lucy have a special place for one another.

Just as Lucy's opinion of Tim matters, Tim's opinion of Lucy matters. They care about how one sees the other. They care about what the other thinks of them.

In life, there should be very few opinions that matter besides your own, if any. Lucy and Tim are each other's exceptions—and they don't even realize it, yet.

"I'm sorry this happened, but I didn't do it to you. Mack did."

Look. At. That. Growth. For once Tim is realizing it's not his fault. He didn't make the bad decisions. He's simply the guy who didn't look the other way. Instead, he did the right thing, even if it's the difficult one.

"You are a cop. You are supposed to look out for your own."

And here we come back to the last three episodes. Doing the right thing sometimes sucks. Tim made the decision to help Jackson and stop ignoring racism in the force. He stopped hiding behind the "good cop" label and started looking at what was really right and wrong.

Not reporting Mack would have been an issue. It would have been Tim letting something slide, again. But a high officer on the job with a weapon is not right. It can't happen. And the only way to stop it was to report it, since Mack wasn't stopping it himself.

And it sucks and it hurts. But "looking out for your own" shouldn't involve ignoring the laws that are there to protect people in the first place. Mack needs help. Tim told him that, and Mack promised to get help... but in the meantime, something had to be done.

Doing the right thing sometimes sucks.

Bad. Ass. Women.

Nyla has literally let her hair down. And I love Lucy finally being actually in with Nyla and getting to have drinks with one of the other badass women from the station.

"I think fitting in is a trap. I'm sitting between two of the best cops in the state who had to navigate an avalanche of obstacles just to get to the mountaintop. They didn't do it by trying to fit in. They did it by, you know, um, being stronger, smarter, more agile. They had to navigate a system that still believes being a girl is inherently soft or weak, as though empathy is somehow a liability. There isn't a guy in the force who can do what these guys can do. And there sure as hell isn't anyone tougher."

Yes, I transcribed all that. Because Lucy Chen is coming into her own. She's got less than 10 days until she's without a TO, and I don't think we've ever heard her so confident and determined.

Also, I love Tamara getting to see this. Getting to be a part of it. Glass of water, and all.

These three episodes were tough, and wonderful. Lucy and Tim have a very solid friendship in Season 3, and I love how the walls are coming down between the Rookies and the TOs, even before they cross the line out of probation. We're building the blocks to a beautiful relationship... someday.

As ever, thanks for reading. See you on the next!

[belit0]

Hey!! So i saw that u started writing again, so if u dont mind writing something like a knife kink + dumbification for indra and madara?? Tysm<33

Ohmygawwd I had this request since the previous time I said I would come back (and then, I didn't)

Im so sorry it took me so long :,( but its finally here!

Never wrote knife play before, so I'm not sure how accurate this is, I did some investigation for it but well, I had to try :)

TW: Knife play, dumbification Pairing: Uchiha Madara / reader - Otsutsuki Indra / reader NSFW

Indra

- Cruelly fine patience. Indra enjoys seeing you tied up and with no hope of escape, completely restrained by hand and foot. It's a situation he'll often put you in because nothing manages to get his cock harder than that image.

- He will use satin straps, powerfully unbreakable but soft against your skin, as he enjoys watching you fight against your bonds, seeming eager to escape from him. It's the power play that drives this man's arousal.

- Indra will pace from one side of the room to the other, ignoring you completely as he discards his clothing, keeping only his pants on.

- You know he's doing it to torture your mind in every possible way, pushing you to your limit without even taking his underwear off. It infuriates and turns you on in equal measure.

- "You won't believe how dumb you'll look after everything I'll do to you (Y/N)."

- When he finally decides to pay you attention, he walks over to the bed with his favorite dagger clutched firmly in hand. It's small, but it's not blunt, something he constantly reminds you as to keep you completely still for his touch.

- "You know how this works (Y/N). You'll have to choose not to move an inch in the face of everything I'll do to you. If you don't, I’ll pierce you right through with the knife."

- As he whispers those words in your ear, he drags the blunt side of the knife across your body, starting from your neck and working his way down to your pelvis, stopping at your nipples to poke them with the cold metal tip.

- The dagger leaves a long red mark where the skin was tenderized by its touch, which Indra mimics with his tongue as he moves down to your groin.

- Just when you think his mouth will land on your apex, he spits harshly to lubricate the area and moves up again, until he is at eye level with you. With one hand, he lightly touches you, slowly working his way up to watch you writhe in pleasure beneath him. With the other, he holds the knife against your throat.

- "My stupid little bitch won't move because she knows she shouldn't. You don't want to get cut, do you, silly?", "Don't look away, or I'll have to start again just as you're about to finish."

- The cold metal against your throat and the precise deliveries of Indra's digits are all it takes to make a mess of you under his hands, and just as your first orgasm begins to wane, he penetrates you without warning, taking overstimulation to a new level.

Madara

- With this man, the situation is somewhat different. It's not the fear he enjoys seeing in your eyes, but the anticipation, the uncertainty, knowing he has you in his clutches and can take you wherever he wants.

- He always keeps his dagger in the freezer, leaving it completely frozen for when it's time to play with you. He loves to involve temperature changes and physical sensations in your intimate moments, always finding a new variation on how to push you to your limit.

- He will not tie you down, for he chooses to trust the fact that you understand you must not move, and if you become uncomfortable with boundaries, he knows you will let him know before risking a knife cut.

- Your hands slip through his hair, tied in a bun so as not to get in the way of the game, and trail down his back, leaving marks that soon turn red on his white skin with your fingernails. He gives you the freedom to move as you please, for he knows you are at his disposal and will obey his directions.

- "I'm going to fuck you silly until you don't even know how to say your name, (Y/N)." "Show me that stupid little face of yours, show me how you'll cry for me."

- He concentrates on conditioning you with gentle touches and caresses, getting you wet and ready for the show. He will take his time undressing you, stripping off your clothes, and tearing your underwear with the edge of the dagger.

- He uses a piece of fabric to blindfold you and begins to play with the sensations the cold metal produces on your skin. He scrapes your abdomen as if buttering a loaf of bread, and gently pricks your flesh with the tip of the knife until he reaches your legs.

- "Is my little dummy ready to be fucked?" "Tell me how you want me to screw you this time, (Y/N)."

- He won't come in contact with your pussy until he feels you physically ready. He needs to see you dripping with need before he'll get down to work. Your body's desperation and the fact that you can't see anything he does with you, how confident you are that he won't hurt you, bewitches him.

- He places the dagger just above your pubis, and at that exact moment, he decides to stop torturing you and fuck you with abandon.

[triviareads]

I'm curious what are your thoughts on the salacious players club series by Sara cate.

I have read Praise and Eyes On Me but none of the others. Would you recommend it?

I think it's overall a great series that also is a good introduction to kinky romance novels, though I feel like it peaked at Mercy (book 4) and the last two were overall duds. Here are my thoughts individually-

Praise is my favorite; it's a comfort read to me because it's such a well-done rendition of an older man/younger woman romance but with the added layer of kink (D/s, secretary stuff). It has the right amount of taboo (ex's dad) and the right amount of conflict because of the taboo aspect (Emerson's back-and-forth about wanting Charlie and him literally trying to shove Charlie and his son Beau together one last time before Charlie puts her foot down and tells him she wants him).

Give Me More is my second favorite because I really loved the evolution of Hunter, Isabel, and Drake's relationship; Hunter and Isabel are a married couple and Drake is their long-time friend. Hunter has this red-herring new kink awakening moment where he thinks he wants to be cucked and watch Drake and Isabel together, but that's not it at all. Hunter's journey in overcoming his internalized biphobia was actually really emotional to read, as was Drake and Isabel getting closer in the meantime. All three characters were likeable individually and had distinct voices which...... was not the case with Sara's other poly romance in this series.

Mercy is honestly tied with Give Me More; I love older woman/younger man romances, and this is even better because Beau's redemption arc from Praise comes full circle and I was actually rooting for him by the end. It's also really great to read him go from this aimless young loser to figuring out he's a sub and a *brat*, and also finding purpose (and reconciling with daddy lol). Maggie also comes into her own as a domme. I appreciated how Sara wrote Maggie's conflict as the only woman among the owners of Salacious; her feeling like she doesn't belong even if the other men are nice to her, seeing the tasks she often ends up with, and reading her irrational but understandable mental competition with Emerson was all very relatable.

Eyes on Me is a book I don't remember very well but I remember it doing the trick as far as fulfilling the itch for taboo (Garrett and Mia are stepsiblings) and novelty, because it's still pretty rare to read romances where the heroine is a sex worker, and in this case the relatively new profession of camgirl. The voyeurism of it all was very hot too. Also, I appreciated the plus-size/fat rep with this, as well as Praise.

Highest Bidder wasn't very standout to me because the romance felt trite; like yeah, he's a billionaire silver fox and she's a little white girl and he inevitably whisks away to Paris and makes her call him daddy. Sure. Sara tried to include this added layer of taboo where the heroine's mom and the hero were dating once, but it never quite worked because I don't think it was suuuuper serious, and he never actually met Daisy while he was dating her mom, I believe.

I think my biggest problem with Madame was that in a poly romance, you need all the characters to have equal weight and distinct voices, and unfortunately, Jade was the weak link, so to speak. I could barely discern a personality, and I do not think she had switch energy at all. I'm very cognizant of my biases when it comes to writing off female characters in romances, especially in poly romances, but genuinely, she was giving nothing. Clay felt like Beau lite and Sara half-assed his mommy issues and didn't go where I wanted her to go with him (mommy kink; I wanted her to go THERE), and so much of Eden's story felt boring for Surprise Reasons we were not informed of in the last 5 books.