7 Nation Army - ZONNEBLOEM - Part 2: Living. Loving. Learning.
Listening to INDIGO by RM on repeat.
[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]
–🐺–🐺–🐺–
I know I should be listening to playlists tailored to Indigo, in order to help with streaming, and I promise I will from Monday. What has been happening since Friday, is that I haven’t been able to stop listening to the album, day, night, it’s been on repeat and today for the first time I cried at the end of Change pt.2 “You can’t love someone like I do. That’s all I can say to you”.
In a bit I’ll explain what that particular lyric meant to me. For now though I want to begin with thinking through the entirety of Indigo and its creation span: 2019 - 2022; from when he was 26 until 29. Indigo, thus far, is truly an album that has gone as close to one’s true feelings as an artist like Namjoon can, or rather, is able to. At least for now.
[Up to this point I was writing with my own feelings ONLY. Then I got the notification of RM 'Indigo' Album Magazine Film which was very profound and kinda confirmed a lot of what i was going to write based on pure speculation. So I watched it and now I’m back to writing.]
If you’ve read a couple of my blogs you might be familiar with my writing style. I have what you would call a storyteller’s style. I think that events, be it a second in a moment, or life in general, have a defined structure, with a start, a mid section, and an end. Such is life after all; we are born, we live and then we die.
Even within stories that have yet no ending or which start you are unaware of, within the context in which you begin narrating them, that will be your start, the moment you stop, that will be its end. Reason why, for the most part, people tend to love backstories and hate unfinished-stories.
Backstories give you motive for things, sometimes even a justification if you will, something that you hope can help others better understand you and reasons for the things you do. Whereas unfinished stories are unsettling, the uncertainty-of-it-all is damning and the “what-ifs'' will literally drive someone crazy, because what if it happens to me? What if my story/life turns out to be unfinished? …”
All this just to appreciate and fawn over this man, even more than I already do. This wonderful man whose extreme mental affinity with mine was the reason why I even began to seriously get into BTS in the first place. From what I’ve gathered thus far, when it comes to creating art, we have a similar thought process, which is the storytelling approach that I’ve been talking about.
There is a reason. Yup. And I felt it. From the moment he told us that this was “the last archive of my twenties” and then when he went even in more depth and explained that this was the period “from him being 26 to 29”, made even more sense why it felt like the 10 tracks seemed to be a natural progression with Yun being a Prologue and No.2 being an Epilogue to this chapter in his life.
If you watch RM 'Indigo' Album Magazine Film he indeed goes very much in depth, and does confirm and explain about the times and ages of when he wrote some of the songs. If you think about it, his twenties began when they debuted in 2013 and up to circa 2016, all they had been doing, saying and singing was more or less a reflection of the people they were and they hoped to become; and then entered WINGS. The Wings Era was probably the first time they noticed that the face they saw in the more wasn’t themselves but some sort of mask.
This song being “Wild Flower”, basically Namjoon has been struggling for the majority of his 20s and no thanks to COVID. 2018, they survived disbandment. 2019, was supposed to be the beginning of their Chapter 2. Come 2020, the world would halt and he would have to keep living with this emotion, added to new ones, until now, 2022.
And oh I find it so fitting that the person who produced (and co-wrote) “Wild Flower” is DOCSKIM, the same producer for “Lie” and “Outro: Tear”. It really makes so much sense.
And can you imagine being the reason for another artist to not give up art? I mean! This man is the reason why Jimin could give a voice to his turmoil and our rapline could put their suffering to bed. He is a genius to me! Yet, he is human and like a flower he needed some water, among the many things, to keep flourishing, same as Namjoon, same as me, same as you.
Namjoon proceeds by saying that he wrote frog_tful at the age of 26, so in 2019. The whole conversation with him and Kim Sawol was so interesting and insightful. That aside, what really stood out for me is him mentioning and drilling in the fact that he has close friends, who aren’t the members. I do feel that sometimes this fandom has the notion that the members, except for Tae, only have each other. In reality, Jin aside, they all seem to have quite the big circle of close friends, famous and not.
This to once again underline just how much we don’t know about their personal lives or just themselves as a whole. But isn’t this great?! Isn’t it great that somehow unbeknownst to us they still try their best to live, love and learn? This is literally what this album is about: The chronicles of Kim Namjoon’s living, loving and learning stories 2019-2022, and some.
And amongst many other points (such as him hating hotel rooms) another point that was stressed in this album was that “Things change. People change. Everything change”. Yes. He did change and keeps changing. Who doesn’t? That is a direct reaction from the action of living. It’s the result of allowing yourself to love, and be loved and just as well as to hurt and be hurt. And after all that, there is always a lesson to be learned; now whether you attend that class or not, it’s entirely up to you. All shade, lately I’ve been strongly feeling that some ARMY could indeed use a closer look to the lyrics of this song, matter of fact, the entire album … jussayin.
“You can’t love someone like I do. That’s all I can say to you”. Guess what? The same goes for everyone on this planet and this just seems to get lost in translation every fucking time. Don’t pardon my French. Love, love, love; can’t live with it, can’t live without it. There is a particular person in my family that keeps not understanding how much I love them, I'm pretty sure they think I don’t: how am I supposed to come out to them and have them understand the way I love when they don’t seem to understand even the basic form of it?
Yeah … I hope people understand how hard it is to live trapped in a room with your own Truth, constantly begging you to let them be free. “Set the Truth free and the truth will set you free” so they say, some heavy ass catch 22 uh? Honestly, I could go on and on and on talking about this album. In conclusion, I have been waiting for an album like this. Something that would keep me and my Truth company while we try to figure things out through all those times.
Always respectfully yours 🫰🏾💙,
Marengo.
I promise I have forgotten of WWH, I just needed this to be out before I tried to catch some more sleep.
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[✎ TESTO ♫ ITA] Indigo - RM⠸ 09 ❛Wild Flower❜ (with Cho Youjeen)⠸ 02.12.22
[✎ TESTO ♫ ITA] RM 📎INDIGO
💙 09 ❛ 들꽃놀이 [ Wild Flower ]
(con Cho Youjeen / 조유진) ❜
• Fiori d'Artificio [ Fiore Selvatico ] • 💙
Spotify | Apple | Twitter
Prodotta da: Docskim
Scritta da: RM, Docskim
Nota:
In questo brano, Namjoon esprime il desiderio di vivere una vita serena ed anonima come un fiore di campo (들꽃/deulkkot) piuttosto che una prorompente ma illusoria come un fuoco d'artificio (불꽃놀이/ bulkkotnori), cantando dei dubbi e sfide personali che sorgono da questo proposito, dato il suo status.
Il titolo originale coreano “들꽃놀이” (deulkkotnori / fiori d'artificio) è un gioco di parole/termine inventato da RM, e sostituisce 'fiore selvatico (들꽃/deulkkot)' al composto 불꽃 ('fiore di fuoco/bulkkot) da cui ha origine il termine 'fuochi d'artificio (불꽃놀이/bulkkotnori)'.
Io lo tradurrò con "Fiore d'artificio", n.d.t.
Un campo fiorito, è qui che mi trovo
Uno spazio aperto, è dove sono
Nessun nome, è ciò che ho
Nessuna vergogna, son sulla mia tomba
Quando i tuoi piedi non toccano terra
Quando il tuo cuore ti consuma
Quando i tuoi sogni ti divorano
Quando non ti riconosci
Per tutte quelle volte
Volevo essere come fuoco
Volevo una caduta scenografica
Ancor prima dell'inizio, mi immaginavo
Avrei potuto applaudire e sorridere, alla fine
Era ciò che desideravo
Quando tutto ciò in cui credevo è andato alla deriva
Quando tutta questa fama è diventata una catena
Ti prego, liberami da questa bramosia
Costi quel che costi
Oh, ti prego, lasciami essere me stesso
Oh, ogni giorno ed ogni notte
Dolore costante e sensi di colpa
In tutte quelle notti in cui il battito del mio cuore mi ha tenuto sveglio
La triste luna crescente era sospesa fuori la finestra
Vorrei poter passare una notte incantevole
La mia vita è diventata più grande di ciò che merito o riesco a sostenere
Disperatamente aggrappato ad un palloncino che si allontana
Mi chiedo dove tu sia, ora
Dove sei andatə, dov'è la tua anima
Yo, dov'è finito il tuo sogno?
In quel cielo mi diffonderò
Accendi un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
Un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
In quel cielo io brillerò
Accendi un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
Un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
Quant'è ancora distante il mio finale
Da uno a dieci, è tutto così estenuante
Quando cadrà questa maledetta maschera?
Già, io, non un eroe, non un cattivo
Non sono quasi nulla
Non è tutto che un ripetersi, i ricordi che diventano velenosi
Sdraiato in un campo, alzo gli occhi al cielo
Ormai non ricordo neanche più cosa desideravo tanto
Tutta la felicità che credevo d'aver conquistato, non è durata che un istante
Già, proseguivo, qualsiasi cosa mi si parasse di fronte
Aggrappato furente ai margini dell'alba, ricordo le cose che ho sputato
La società è per chi fa la voce più grossa
Ed eccomi qua, io che ancora parlo il silenzio
Questo non è che un inciso, un veliero che ha raggiunto la piena maturità
Scritto per affrontare ogni pregiudizio e fraintendimento
Non mi interessa essere esaltato e gettato in cielo
I miei piedi sono saldamente ancorati al suolo
In mezzo a questi fiori senza nome
Non posso tornare su, tra le stelle, non posso
A piedi proseguirò
Verso una destinazione priva di significato
Non conosco nemmeno la mia tristezza
Persino con le mie ombre farò amicizia
Me ne vado
In quel cielo mi diffonderò
Accendi un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
Un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
In quel cielo io brillerò
Accendi un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
Un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
Mi fermo all'improvviso e scopro d'essere gloriosamente scalzo
Niente di tutto questo sarebbe dovuto appartenermi, in ogni caso
E non dirmi tipo “è importante essere qualcuno”
Perché mai e poi mai sarò come loro
(Accendi un fiore)
Già, la mia origine è stata la poesia
È la sola ed unica forza e sogno che mi ha sorretto finora
(Accendi un fiore)
Da fuoco d'artificio fiammeggiante ad un fiore selvatico
Dall'infanzia all'eternità
Rimarrò in questo campo desolato
Ah, un giorno tornerò
In quel cielo mi diffonderò
Accendi un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
Un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
In quel cielo io brillerò
Accendi un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
Un fiore, un fiore d'artificio
Un campo fiorito, è qui che mi trovo
Uno spazio aperto, è dove sono
Nessun nome, è ciò che ho
Nessuna vergogna, son sulla mia tomba
Quando i tuoi piedi non toccano terra
Quando il tuo cuore ti consuma
Quando i tuoi sogni ti divorano
Quando non ti riconosci
Per tutte quelle volte
⠸ ita : © Seoul_ItalyBTS | eng : come da sub ufficiali & © doolsetbangtan⠸
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