#does 8 paragraphs mean I win?

[mag7dumbies]

4 years ago I sent this to a complete stranger…. I have no idea why I sent it or why it is completely deranged but I sent it and 4 years later we are probably closer than two people 1,000 miles away could be

Kaz it’s been 4 years, 1,461 days, that have been the best days of my life, because you have been in them. You are my oracle, my rock, and the other half of my brain. I have no idea what I did to be so lucky to have met you.

In the first days of our friendship I think we wrote 4 peer reviewed papers just on Ezra Standish alone. I don’t think I ever told you this but I saved some (most) (for at least the first week) of our messages in a word doc because I liked rereading our convos. You are still just as verbose and detailed as you were back then and I consider myself so lucky to be able to read about your OCs and Aus whenever you get a hankering to share (which is fortunately often)

You have made me grow in so many ways, with your kindness and your snark. I strive to be as good a friend to you as you are to me. You’ve broaden my tastes to the moon (Fire and Ice and The Eagle are still burned into my brain) (Special mention to Rem Lezar and those eps of Rawhide because I can’t put those psychological horrors in this category but I wanted to mention it because they would have been good cause to lose my number... and yet)

Kaz this message could probably last at least 3,000 words, when it probably needs just three, I love you, I honestly believe it’s more than love, it is just a natural part of my heart, that you now inhabit. There is not a quality that you’ve shown me that I don’t love, from your strong convictions (that have rubbed off on me), your imagination that knows few bounds, and especially your patience. You are probably more important to me then you know and I hope I give as much as I get because you deserve it. Kaz you are the whole package plus about 6 other packages that I didn’t expect but happily unwrapped

I remember in 2022 when our friendship went from a casual, still very close but casual relationship, to what it is today. Our first watch party was the last two eps from Our Flag means Death season 1. What babies we were back then, there was little talking (due to how we watched but still) there was no screaming no brain melting a far cry from today. Our Saturday nights have always been sacred to me and I will/have bent over backwards to not miss them, they make getting through the week an easy task because I know I will be able to hang out with you for approximately 4-8 hours which sounds crazy and is crazy. Anyway now in 2024 I literally can’t imagine a day we aren’t in contact (I still get soft when I remember that week where I barely had the energy to open your messages and yet you were here on Tumblr being a bright spot which i definitely needed) And I get to have that everyday even if it’s just a check in or a in-depth psychology analysis on Jess Harper I get to have the pleasure of talking to you which is priceless.

One more thing Kaz when I met you I didn’t have close friends I had a couple but they felt very hollow and it was hard to communicate with them sometimes, due to my Visions TM (it’s probably the autism but I’ll blame Visions and not how my brain functions) my real world friends did not share my interest in Gay cowboys or weird shows from the 70s so I felt very alone for a long time but then I threatened a random Incorrect quotes blog and I found someone I could make a home out of a multitude of fandoms with. You will have no idea what an impact you’ve made on me. And I hope we have at least 80,000 more anniversaries that we can share

I could go on, I should go on because I definitely don’t think I talked enough about how perfect you are and literally you are perfection but this has to come to an end for one our sakes lol. Kaz you really are the breath under my wings and I want to make sure you never forget just how much I cherish you

I am so excited to see you in person in 144 days!!!

@incorrect-gunslingers

[bebebelll]

does anyone know her dad? | dn4 x reader (part 4)

pairing: daniel ricciardo x toto's daughter!reader, daniel ricciardo x schumacher!reader warning: nothing, cursing notes: wedding!! part 1, part 2 and part 3 are recommended reading

ynquads ONE WEEK ONE WEEK ONE WEEK

tagged: danielricciardo

liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 945 573 others

username dont panic nobody panic

username i am losing my fucking shit

danielricciardo WEDDING WEDDING WEDDING

landonorris fratboy energy

kellypiquet lovely bachelorette party ❤️❤️

ynquads loved you there!!

f1wagsupdates wedding bells for danny ric and yn! congratulations obviously. private as always, we don't know much about the wedding plans but what is known is that it will be held in australia. maybe we can expect some sexy salsa inspiration used that yn has in this years programs...

liked by 18 473

username burning through lifesavings to get a plane ticket to that wedding

username personally will be swimming there

maxverstappen1 hey @ danielricciardo when was that photo taken?

danielricciardo i will uninvite you

vogueaustralia formula 1 driver daniel ricciardo and figure skater yn schumacher talk wedding buffets and house hunting in this months publication! now available!

liked by 8 375

username is it bad that im more excited about their wedding than about my sister's?

landonorris daniel you spent four paragraphs talking kitchen tiles and coutertops

alex_albon man has truly hit his 30s landonorris we lost a good man today ynquads youre just jealous because our kitchen is gonna fuck so hard

ynquads god i am happy (so sorry about the threats of bodily harm, dan. papa didnt mean it i swear)

liked by mickschumacher, danielricciardo and 824 583 others

maxverstappen1 it was nice

ynquads p was the best flowergirl i have ever seen

susie_wolff i very much meant what i said - toto

danielricciardo i cannot wait for the honeymoon (i am more scared of your dad than ever before)

danielricciardo my wife has the best ideas

tagged: ynquads

liked by ynquads and 934 573 others

username not gonna lie this whole wedding thing seems like an excuse to eat a year's worth of junkfood

ynquads the side eye our trainers gave when we revealed the buffet haunts me

ynquads my husband is the best

danielricciardo my wife is the prettiest ynquads my husband is the prettiest danielricciardo dont you dare! my wife is like the sun in the sky ynquads you are literally my dream guy danielricciardo your dad said he could throw me around like a pair headphones and lewis said hell drive me through the wall if i hurt you so i think i deserve to win this ynquads lewis wouldnt cause he knows id steal roscoe danielricciardo so i win? ynquads absolutely not because i love you more landonorris can you stop with the lovey shit?? you literally have your whole lives to settle the debate ynquads we have the rest of our lives!! danielricciardo i might be crying a little

@eternalharry @hiireadstuff

[himbeereule]

Орлёнок (Eaglet) Battle System - Dev Diary #4

"Don't worry, the regular dev diary will publish this evening" she said, and vanished for 8 days.

Sorry.

Brain is being very difficult. At least I'm still somehow alive.

But onto actually interesting (I hope) things-

4.1 Initiative - cont'd

Examples for how Initiative works have already been given in the last Dev Diary (under 3.2), but I'd like to make a few additions. What makes Initiative go up or down? is a question as of yet unanswered and also ties into the main theme of this Dev Diary.

The main source of high Initiative are charges, meaning a melee attack on another unit. But that's not guaranteed to work - Terrain plays an important factor here, with difficult terrain such as towns/cities or, worse, a forest significantly reducing the effectiveness of a charge due to stuff being in the way, making it difficult to maintain momentum. Cavalry, which is generally best at charges, suffers the most from these.

Charging uphill is also not the best idea - you can guess why. But at least the opposite is also true: charging downhill is extra effective.

Then, there's charging across a river. Not a very good idea usually, so try to avoid it unless it's a really desperate situation. In real world terms, even shallow water that can be traversed without the need for barges etc. will significantly slow down your troops and, in the worst case, make them arrive on the other side in small groups. The enemy waiting there likes that.

And finally, there's the dynamic factor that is the hostile troops you're charging at. If they moved normally the turn before, it's fine, there's no special modifiers. But if they remained stationary, it's assumed they found some stuff to hide behind, dug some holes, maybe placed some pointy sticks or barbed wire, maybe even just laid down. In short, they'll be prepared. Which will give them a bonus to Initiative when charged. However - you can attack them with artillery beforehand, which will make them suppressed and lower their Initiative accordingly and effectively neutralize the preparation bonus.

4.2 Morale and Commitment

Morale is... exactly what it sounds like. It measures how happy your soldiers are to run around and shoot at their own countrymen.

It's decided by many factors - Divisions have a unified morale value at the beginning of the battle, which is influenced by things decided beforehand - previous victories and losses, relative strength (how strong the Division is compared to your other Divisions, and how strong your army is compared to the enemy army in this particular battle) and things happening in the story. It also changes during the flow of the battle - winning fights against enemy units is good, taking casualties is not so good. Some special weapons like flamethrowers or poison gas are also very much not good for the morale of the receiving side. And even if a unit is just standing in the back lobbing shells all over the place (looking at you, artillerists), its morale will suffer if your other units get slaughtered and it seems like the battle will be lost.

But what does morale actually do? Well, higher morale means better coordination rate. Conversely, a panicked and depressed unit will have a hard time coordinating. But that's just one half of it - to understand the other, we must first look at Commitment.

Commitment simply means how many of your units are actually taking part in fights, instead of just standing around on the field. It's a counter of how many units have fought in melee this turn (ranged attacks do not count; you'll see why in the next paragraph).

Now, if the enemy's overall morale (average value of all units combined, rounded down) hits 0, but commitment is also at 0 - meaning there are no enemy units currently tied up in melee - the enemy force will retreat in an orderly fashion, ending the battle without further casualties. If, however, morale is at 0 and commitment is not, the enemy will have to flee, which, narratively, means unengaged units will rush to save their still-fighting brethren, and as soon as they can run away as fast as they can. This means additional casualties for the fleeing side depending on how high their commitment was.

But the battle may also end when morale is low, though not yet zero - and that is if commitment is greater zero and the relative strength of the opposing force is at least 1.5:1 - in other words, if side A has 50% stronger forces than side B, and side B has both low morale and units tied up in melee, side B will capitulate. This is basically the most valuable outcome to reach, because you will get all the remaining enemies' stuff and a lot of prisoners - in normal conditions, only a small (or, in the case of the enemy fleeing, a medium-sized portion) of additional enemy casualties will become prisoners instead of casualties. This is important because prisoners become recruitable manpower over time.

That's it for today. Sorry again for the long wait.

The next Dev Diary will be the last one, and probably quite short - it deals with the meaning of Victory in battles.

[glassofspoiledmilk]

Going Gold | Yuri P.

Chapter 8, Dinner | TW: Language

As we made our way to the restaurant, i walked beside Yuri, glancing at him occasionally. When we got to the restaurant, it was packed with people. We waited in a line for about 10 minutes before getting up to the hostess stand.

"We have a reservation under the name baranoskaya" Lilia said.

"Yes your table is ready, follow me" the hostess replied as she escorted us to our table.

It was a a circular table with a white cloth covering it. There were two chairs on each side, Yuri and I sat on the left side, Yakov and Lilia sat on the right.  I lifted up my menu and tried to read it but it was all in french, and I don't speak a lick of French.

"Yo Yuri what does this mean" I said as I pointed to a paragraph on the menu.

"Why are you reading the French side" he said, giving me a look.

"There's an English side?" I asked, slightly embarrassed.

He took the menu out of my hands, flipped it over, and gave it back to me.

"There" he replied.

"Oh" I said defeated as I read over the menu.

"Bonjour, my name is Vivianne and I will be your waiter this evening, can I get you guys anything to drink?" The waiter said with a thick French accent as she popped up infront of our table.

"I'll have a glass of Chateau Angelus red wine" Lilia says as she puts her menu down.

"Um I'll have a glass of Pinot Grigio" yakov says awkwardly.

"Can I have apple juice" Yuri says nonchalantly.

I kick his knee.

"What the fuck Yuri who orders fucking Apple Juice at a fancy French restaurant!" I whisper yell at him.

"What do you want me to order!?" He says back.

"I don't know but definitely not apple juice!" I say  as I roll my eyes.

"So apple juice or no?" The waiter says awkwardly.

"Uh yea sorry" he says, glaring at me.

"And what would you like ma'am?" The waiter asks me.

"Can I have cherry coke please?" I ask.

"Oh yea sodas so fancy Y/N that's what I should've ordered" Yuri says sarcastically.

"Shut up" I said as I kick him under the table.

"Oww" he whined as he reached down to grab his knee.

"Alright I'll be back with your drinks shortly" Vivianne says sounding slightly frightened.

I rolled my eyes as I looked back at the menu to look for something to order. I decided that I was going to get French onion soup because that was the only thing I was familiar with on the menu.

When the waiter came back with our drinks, she asked us if we were ready to order.

Lilia and yakov ordered some fancy French dish I had never heard of, Yuri got Alfredo pasta (which I hadn't seen on the menu), and I obviously got the French onion soup.

"So yuri, still confident your gonna win?" I tease.

"Yea why wouldn't I be" he says looking up at me from his phone.

"Just wondering, cuz you know I'm doing more quads than you are" I say as I take a sip of my drink.

He groans at my obvious attempts to annoy him.

"Also where did you find the Alfredo?" I add.

"In the pasta section?" He says with a snarky tone.

"Oh" I replied.

Around 20 minutes later the waiter comes back with our food.

"Does everything look ok?" She said after she placed down everyone food.

"It look great thank you" yakov says politely.

"Great I'll be back to check on your guys in a little" She adds as she walks away.

I ate some of my soup, and then looked over at Yuri.

"Yuri that smells really good, can I have some?" I say as I lean over towards him.

His face slightly reddens.

"ew no get your nasty face out of my food your gonna infect it" he said, pushing me away.

"Oh Yuri you suck" I say, annoyed.

I slightly gasp.

"What's wrong?" He asks.

"Oh my god Yuri look at that!" I say as I point to across the restaurant.

As he looks over I lean in and take some of his pasta, however he whips back and my face flies straight into his food.

I lift up my head, which is now covered in sauce, and wipe my eyes.

Yuri bursts out laughing.

"I hate you so much Yuri" i say, half joking.

I excuse myself to the bathroom, which is extremely fancy.

The lights are dimmed, and the walls look like they're straight out of Versailles.

I walk over to the mirror, and grab a crap ton of paper towels.

I wiped down my face first, then my hair.

The top of my head was completely slicked down with water so I pulled it back into a ponytail. I grabbed my handbag and pulled out my mascara, eyeliner, blush, and lipgloss. When I started doing my makeup, I heard someone open the door.

I look in the mirror and see Yuri standing in the bathroom with his eyes covered.

"Yuri it's just me in here, you don't have to cover your eyes" I said.

He removed his hand and looked at me.

"U-uhm I just wanted to say sorry for laughing, even though it was funny" Yuri said as he walked over towards me.

I face back to the mirror and re apply my mascara.

"It's fine I was being stupid, you don't need to apologize" I say with a  laugh.

He laughs.

As I reapply my makeup, I can feel his gaze upon me. My cheeks blush red as I try not to look at him.

When I finished I turned to look at him and he looked back at me.

I could tell he was trying to repress the blush on his cheeks.

"There's something in your hair" he says as he laughs hysterically.

My face goes completely red from embarrassment.

"Here I got it" he says as he reaches back and grabs a couple paper towels from the dispenser.

I looked deep into his eyes, almost in a trance as he gently cupped the side of my face with his left hand and carefully got some sauce out of my hair with his right.

I could feel my heart rate increase within seconds.

He turns around to throw away the paper towel and I'm still completely dazed.

"Are you ok?" Yuri says as his face flushes an even deeper shade of pink.

"Yeah I'm fine" I reply as I snap back to reality.

"You ready to go back?" He asks.

"Yea" i add as I make my way to the door.

We walked outside of the bathroom together, which earned many looks of disapproval from nearby older couples.

"Hey Yuri do you think those older couples would believe me if I told them you were a girl" I say through repressed laughter.

He rolls his eyes and pushes me forward.

"Owww" I say as I rub my back.

He lets out a smug huff in response.

"I got the dessert menu from the waiter if you would like to look at it" Lilia says and we sit down across from her.

I picked up the menu, and Yuri leaned over my shoulder so he could see it too. His face was incredibly close to mine and I could feel the warmth of his body on my own.

I struggled to keep my eyes on the menu.

I read through and everything looked really good. there were fresh croissants, macarons, hot chocolate, every sweet French delicacy.

But I wasn't hungry, I didn't even want to eat my soup that was now starting to get cold from the time I was in the bathroom.

My stomach felt queasy like I was gonna be sick, but I knew I wasn't. I couldn't get my heart to stop racing, and I could tell my face was red. I took a sip of my coke and went on my phone, praying it would distract me enough to the point where I can normally function again.

Yuri ended up not getting anything and eating his pasta, which I though was absolutely disgusting because my entire head was in it, but whatever.  Lilia asked the waiter for the check and we headed on our way back to the hotel.

When we arrived, I was exhausted. I threw off my  heels and grabbed a pair off pajamas from my suitcase.

"I'm going to shower" I said with a yawn.

I walked into the bathroom and started the shower.

I looked into the mirror and pulled out my hair tie. The top of my head was completely slicked down, and the bottom was sticking out.

I physically cringed at the sight.

When I stepped into the shower I immediately started washing my hair to try and get the cheese out of my hair. After that I washed my body and got out. I put my pajamas on and sat down on the toilet for my nightly routine. I did my skincare like usual, but it didn't feel usual.

Something was wrong.

I couldn't say what it was even if I wanted too, something just felt different.

It wasn't necessarily a bad feeling, it was just different.

When I finished my skincare, I went back into the main area of the room and plopped down on my bed.

[arcaneworms]

I'd love to hear about your OCs if you wanna share :D

Of course! I have a lot, and from multiple different stories and I look forward to sharing them all eventually. I realize now it would be a good idea to add little lore paragraphs in those posts to avoid everything being convoluted.

Sadly I don’t really have much recent art of any OC’s — that isn’t messily made or a shitpost, at least, and I never really intend to share those things. 😆 But I think I can send one that I’ve already shared before a while back, my firbolg Jenny.

Jenny was made for a DnD campaign a friend of mine brought up that never came to fruition. I don’t have much of a story for him, except little tidbits of information I think are neat and that I want to expand upon one day. I wanted him to be different from how firbolgs are usually perceived in DnD. I like the idea of them being connected to and acting as the guardians of nature, (think Caduceus and his family for example, honoring the dead and protecting their little grove), but I thought a darker version of that could be interesting.

I basically thought, what if I just made a *really* unnerving guy? A guardian — or a *witch* of the forest, who acted for the sake of preserving natural order but very clearly had something wrong with him. I thought that could be really intriguing and honestly funny. A looming 8 foot tall creature who had trouble talking to people without sounding ominous as shit, with an empty void of a resting face, looking like a scraggly homeless witch and having a creepy, raspy sounding voice. But despite his appearance he really does mean well. The fact that he’s a cleric is one of my favorite parts about him, because despite seeming so sinister his purpose is meant to heal.

That’s how Jenny started, at least, but I have to admit I’ve started to lean less into the more comical side of him and more into the scary side. I think if I manage to use him in a campaign someday I’ll be able to balance the creepy/comical factor.

With that backstory aside though, here’s a couple recent doodles of him. Thanks for asking me about my characters!

One more note. I usually pair him up with another character of mine, Asphodel because I just think their dynamic is a fun thought to entertain. Homeless witch and shithead gremlin kid for the win

[009720kakashi]

Rules

Hey all! I go by Mhiyah and rp for 15 + years meaning yes, I’m an adult :D and so is the character.

I do not want to interact with minors and I do not want them to follow the blog. I’m dead serious on that. No exception. It makes me uncomfortable. Please respect that.  

Please note the following rules:

1. I’m not a native speaker in English. I actually do have an online dictionary open constantly :D. I do my best but there will be mistakes. Please be lenient.

2. No godmodding and don’t force your headcanons about my character on me. I’m very willing to adapt to the things you have created for your own character but not when it comes to my character. Also please note that if I make mistakes with your headcanons it’s not on purpose. I do my best but for many characters there are a lot of headcanons. Usually I try to check them again before replying. This is not possible if I reply on a mobile device though. Just tell me and I change the reply.

2. No pairings with minors obviously.

3. No exclusives.

4. No stress please. I’m a relaxed person and I do this for fun. It’s strictly character here. You won’t find me post all that much completely unrelated to the character or rp on this blog. If I do it will be deleted after a short period of time. I refuse to participate in any tumblr animosities. If people have problems with each other don’t drag me into it. I won’t take sides. I will block the person who pressures me into this stuff.

5. No hate of any kind. If I see any hate (be it homophobic, transphobic, racist or whatever) on your blog I block you immediately without any comment. I don’t want to interact with stupid hateful people. It’s as easy as that.

6. If a rp blog posts too much ooc stuff I will unfollow it. Also I don’t automatically follow back.

7. I won’t necessarily reply to threads in order. That is because sometimes I need to think about it a moment before replying. It has nothing to do with you, your character or your reply. I just want to give you a decent answer because that is what you deserve for taking the time and effort to write.

8. I don’t expect anyone to match the length of my replies. I sure tend to babble sometimes. However if I constantly just receive one or two sentence replies to a long paragraph  I will get the feeling that you are not awfully interested in the thread and then I’ll probably drop it. It’s just no fun for me then. It’s the same if everything I write is ignored. I usually do quite some research especially when it comes to fighting scenes and the jutsus used in these scenes. Fights are very difficult to write. So if a jutsu, attack or block fails (which they should at times of course) please tell me why so I know what to do with it. Usually there is enough room for interpretation after all. Also keep in mind that with battle stuff we eventually will have to go for exits and end the thread otherwise one character ends up dead :D

9. Relationships: Yeah well, that’s a difficult issue. I do not see Kakashi enter into a relationship. He sure has sex but definitely has issues committing to someone. He does not easily open up. Someone would have to be very understanding and persistent I suppose. Never say never though. As for sexual relationships. I think he does have those but no strings attached.

10. I also tend to write him a bit more ‘serious’. There are two sides to him. One being rather goofy and the other being very serious. I think to a certain degree he tends to hide behind the goofy side. Though it definitely is a part of his character too. However he has had a very rough life and lost almost everyone dear to him. 10 years of ANBU sure did not help his mental health either. Caring for Team 7 pulled him out of that darkness a bit but that also was not exactly a win for him considering he did not manage to keep the team together. Sasuke lost to Orochimaru, Naruto went with Jiraiya and Sakura with Tsunade. It was quite a short lived experience. Kakashi has to deal with a lot of guilt and self-doubt and has a very low opinion of himself. That shines through in his dark moments in the anime and manga. I don’t think he ever overcame that really. He maybe can accept that others do not think that about him. It does not change that he thinks himself to be a fraud. He avoids the topic to the best of his abilities.

11. The mask thing: I don’t think there is much depth to this really. Honestly he does reveal his face for instance while eating in the anime and it is absolutely impossible to hide your face constantly. Especially on missions. This is probably the one headcanon I have since it has never been confirmed. For me he started wearing the mask as a kid because he has a heightened sense of smell. To deal with that the mask helped and that’s it. Additionally he does have a pretty face but never gave the impression to enjoy attention. For that the mask also helps. Now he is just used to it and it still has it’s merits. However he will pull it down and not make a fuss about it.

12. Also I have a job.

13. That’s it for now. Looking forward writing with you!

[evelyne-am]

19th March 2023

DAY6

It almost feels like winter so cold today. Wore T-shirt that actually is a bit warmer. But i should have known, i very quickly sweat through it. As we warm up sir seems in a better mood, things are a bit calmer. We found out that the boy who dropped out has a family issue. We started at 12 and now we are 10. unfortunate reasons for both of the boys to leave. But I think this is it. I think I didn’t mention MQ yet. (If you don’t know by now I “initialise” everyone.) 

Our group consists of  1. Sir- director; 

2. M - co director and performer; rest of the performers are (female:) 

3. MQ (theatre actor Coming back after a long break,) 

4. Srab (tv and theatre actor and director),

5. Bonh (young actor training under sir for a while),

6. Bu (also training under sir and debuted in Montrash- sirs last stage production,) 

7. Zo (young also training under sir and has acted on screen before), 

8. Sharm (seasoned actor and was in Montrash) ; 

9. (male) R (theatre actor and trained under sir was in Montrash.) and 

10.U (debuted in Montrash i think) and 

11. me (never acted before except in school play.

what I learnt from Bu is that Sir actually has a full course that consists of direction,scenography, acting, voice it’s like an undergrad course where you actually get a certificate at the end of it. Zo, Bu, R, U and Bonh I think are a part of that course. Amongst the women MQ, Srab, BU are older, I think 2 of them are mums with teen/adult kids. Bonh and Zo are younger . I think Sharm, is closer to my age. And i found out recently M is my age, though she looks younger. Boys seem one my age and one younger. Basically i'm in the middle. 

MQ was in the workshop with me and she sprained her ankle right in front of me in fact. So she has been sitting out for the physical exercises but sometimes she jumps in and does some of them and her ankle got worse by day 4 so  today sir told her to fully rest at home. So we are nine today.

When we start our warmup, I’m gathering my water bottle and things like that and I hear Sir says that he wasn’t feeling very happy after rehearsal yesterday last night but then he heard something. I stand straight at attention, as he says Armeen sent three tracks and “amar khub bhalo legeche” (I really liked them.) I could jump for joy. I burst into a huge smile and I said “ really sir?” - I think it’s the first time that I’ve smiled in front of Sir , like my actual personal life glee smile.  Within 30 seconds I have to do a physical exercise so I calmed myself down and said Armeen take the win but that’s the skill that you have practised for the last 15 years, focus on the one that you don’t have. 

We didn’t do the bane of my existence today, the running/awareness exercise! The format changed today for the first time.. We jump straight into some acting methods and then sir plays the three tracks for the group and gives a bunch of notes. I will have my hands full for a day off tomorrow to work on this further.

It was raining during a break today so I stayed on the sixth floor with everyone, it’s sweet, everyone makes each other tea and open boiled eggs and shares tiffin. But suddenly it stops raining so hard and I go out for my little bit of fresh air for five minutes in the light drizzle. I’ve always been like that. My whole life whenever we take rehearsal breaks I need to be alone, even though sometimes that means I’m on my phone.   

We had prepared parts for today’s second-half actual rehearsal time but Sir changes it up , (we do the BANE ome exercise albeit for a very short time;)and I never get to show what i have done to perfection using some of those techniques. And I had practised it so much; this paragraph where I start really slow then I go to medium tempo and then high tempo with my speech, something that Sir has been telling us to work on for the last week that I felt like I’d really nailed. Unfortunately I don’t get a chance to show it. He tells us to do an exercise where we leave the script and just say the lines from memory and I am really surprised at myself, as someone who is horrible at memorising that I do know the first half of the script by heart even though there were not the lines assigned to me. The story of M1 is really moving and I have started to resonate with her and so our entire rehearsal is really picking up that story with each of us trying various lines. We have been split into two groups, four of us to M1 and four of us to M2. (M3 it’s going to be done separately, M and Bonh have actually performed it before so I guess we’re gonna touch that one last bit already has a structure.) but right now we are making a structure for M1 and M2. Kathamo. The word i hear all day (meaning structure.)

(M1 M2 M3 are the three stories we are portraying in our play, I’ll elaborate tomorrow on my day off.) Sir wraps up our first week by telling us that we are slowly nearing the structure. But there is so much to do especially with the soundtrack and scored that we will have to figure out how much will be live how much will be recorded. He looks at me and says I should definitely read the book and see if there are lines from the other parts of the book that we could use as our lyrics. i’m mentally preparing my day off to schedule that in when is the final note of the week he announces that MQ and Armeen are being swapped over. I will now be in M2 story. 

I don’t skip a beat and I take my bags and leave and realise that everything that I’ve worked on and the attachment that I have to M1s story right now, the lines that I painstakingly learnt, I am about to leave behind. And also that my day off is no longer a day off. I am now learning a new script. 

Okay AM. You got this.

[nancypullen]

Sunday Evening

I started a blog post yesterday and about four paragraphs in I realized I'd done nothing but complain. I have nothing good to say about work, so I just won't talk about it. No one likes a whiner. Instead... I'll share what we did today! We crossed the bridge and hopped on the metro into D.C. and went to Braves game! Yippee! I mean, they were playing the Nationals in the Nationals' stadium, but we were there to see the Braves. The game was due to start at 1:30, but was delayed about 30 minutes to let a little rain cloud do its thing. No problem, except for my hair. We ate a ridiculously expensive ballpark lunch and settled in for a good game. Sadly, that's not what we got. The Braves were spanked 8 to 5. I told Mickey that I'm going to ask for our money back because they were lollygaggers. Honestly, the whole team looked like they had a stomach virus or something -no energy, no hustle. I didn't go all the way to D.C. and spend all that money to watch them not even try. Maybe they need a day off. Too many games on the road? I've got a week from Hell coming up at work and I'm getting paid a lot less - look alive, boys! Okay, all kidding aside, even though my team didn't show up with gusto, we had a great time. I absolutely love being at a ballpark. I love the music, the crowd, the tradition. I love a green ball field on a summer day. We had great seats, just past (and above) the visitors' dugout.

Mickey was happy because he loves stadium hot dogs.

I'm not kidding. When we were leaving the park I stopped at a restroom. As I exited I spotted him waiting for me, chewing furiously the way a toddler does when they don't want to get caught with a forbidden cookie. He had eaten another hot dog! I was only in there a couple minutes! I shouldn't talk, I had to have Cracker Jacks during the 7th inning stretch. I mean, can you even call yourself a true baseball fan if you don't?

After the game we hopped another train back to our car and crossed the Chesapeake Bay Bridge back to the sleepy Eastern Shore. It was a full and fun day. Mickey and I have been going to ball games together for 42 years, I'm not surprised when he eats too many hot dogs and he's not surprised when I "give advice" to players and officials. It's a beautiful thing. That was our perfect Sunday (well, nearly perfect, we didn't get the win). I worked yesterday and I work tomorrow, so this was just the break I needed. I hope that you're enjoying a bit of a break, too -a lazy afternoon with a good book, a weekend get-away with friends, whatever. All work and no play makes us candidates for orange jumpsuits.

I don't want to go to prison, I don't think I'd like the food. So let's all treat ourselves to small breaks and enjoy freedom and good snacks. That's solid life advice from an old woman. Sending out lots of love tonight, grab what you need and pass it on. Stay safe, stay well, take a break. XOXO, Nancy

[mionemymind]

And there goes season 6 there is so much to get through so strap in. Sorry this is so late my job has giving me the most stressful hours this week.

Ferrari got a new team principal, aww no more Binotto(is it me or does he look a little like Jack Antonoff lol). Man Ferrari really is that F1 team and there fans go wild so they will always have that status weather they win or lose. They also really know how to keep there drivers in check.

Daniel getting back on the track, it’s really where he belongs. That injury for him was bad and on the hand to so horrible for him. I’m surprised that not many drivers suffer injuries considering how crazy some of the crashes can be. Just wonderful to see him doing what he was born to do. Nice to see that Horner truly cares about him and still sees potential in him.

Otmar really needed to stop being so soft when it comes to discipline those drivers but it was sad the way Alpine let him go. The drivers totally don’t have to be friends but they need to a least have some respect for each other. Taking accountability for ur actions cause in the end it’s gonna hurt the team and yourselves. Being competitive is a good thing but u got to keep ur ego in check so it doesn’t do more damage than necessary.

Tough go for Lewis this season not having the car he needs to get the 8 championship so he can be forever known as the best driver Formula 1 has ever seen. If leaving Mercedes in the future gets him to that achievement well I guess that’s that. I mean Alonso is still putting in work on the track while being the oldest driver on the track.

That battle for second place for the Constructors Championship was so nerve wracking and fun to watch. Max having an outstanding year uhhh I love him it’s so well deserved. Just literally dominated that whole year.

You seriously got to respect that fan-fiction origin that Zak has in Formula 1. As much as I’m starting to really like McLaren, had to reevaluate when I heard and saw they had Trump there for the Miami race. Taking pictures and everything, such a bummer, that’s something hard to look past at least for me. Because that man stands against everything I believe in, it was so disappointing. But Lando is so great and very talented would be a shame if he’s views aligned with someone as terrible as Trump. I don’t mean to put u on the spot but do u have any opinions or feelings about this. It’s just i know I don’t know you in real life but I’ve come to genuinely respect ur opinion and outlook on things. Please if this is to personal then just disregard this whole paragraph.

Again thank u so much for introducing me into this fantastic sport is it weird if I say love u for it. Now I’m off to YouTube to watch the videos u recommended and fall more into the madness. Drive to Survive was an amazing experience definitely 9.7/10. I’m gonna need more F1driver!reader now lol. Just seen the news Hamilton in that Ferrari red is gonna be interesting to witness. But who is Carlos going to drive for next year I’m worried, Ik he’s too talented to not have a seat on a team but he needs a good team and good car. Yay I got to watch my first race live, those last few laps were so good I love to see a good battle. Lando making Max work for that win, it was a very fun first race for me. Anyway I hope u have a great week.

-S

Looks like I've got a lot to catch up on S(ainz)!! But I'm so glad you've enjoyed that season. I wish there were more moments of my man's Max, but I think he declined being on DTS as much, which is fair since they really paint him in a negative light.

I wish sometimes Daniel never left. While I'm glad Max gets the favorable treatment on Redbull, I think Daniel and Max were the closest thing for Redbull on being "fair" on both drivers. Well at least in my opinion.

But I think Lewis's move on Ferrari has been a long time coming even though I thought he was gonna retire with Merc. Like all that history, it just makes me sad but I'm happy for him.

But I've seen mix stories of why Trump was specifically with McLaren, supposedly it was because their garage was the closest to the exit. But regardless, the fact that Lando views Trump as a "respectable" man is really disappointing. Trump is GARABGE!! I really despise that man so much. To see him there was so DISGUSTING!! But honestly, like Lando, be so forreal with me.

In my opinion, I know that the driver's real life political opinions would upset me. I don't know much about what they believe, but I do know that Lewis's values of supporting black people, women, and LGBTQ+ is what I love the most.

But I feel honored that you respect my opinion, I feel like I talk more about my feelings for Wanda that I rarely share what I feel like in regards to politics.

And I'm so glad that you're going to stick with F1. I might start thinking more about what I could bring with F1 Driver!Reader. But did you see Monaco today?! Well it was today for me! Crazy lap one but I'm so glad Charles got his win :)))

But you have a great day now S! No gif for today cause I'm on the work computer :(((

[jjungkooksthighs]

No. No. Nooo!!!!! I feel like I've been waiting 50 years for this chapter, only for you to leave it on such a horrific cliffhanger!! There is no way you're gonna kill off alpha Jungkook! I refuse to believe it. Honestly, I felt my heart plummet into my stomach when I read that cliffhanger. A part of me was in such disbelief I had to re-read the last paragraph. I'm in a state of shock right now. Wtf just happened!

Throughout the last few chapters of lead up to the battle, I always thought JK was a little too cocky about his fighting ability. And while I knew he could easily beat Tae and Jimin, I always thought Yoongi was a wildcard. He seems to be a much better fighter and that he could possibly beat JK. So a part of me was a little worried for JK. I was actually wondering if he could lose to Yoongi in the story, and what the story would look like if that happened. But then you started doing all the alpha!jungkook asks, which seemed to take place after the battle. So that kind of lulled me into a false security of "oh he wins the fight". Even though nothing in the asks confirmed he won. While reading this chapter, I was kind of expecting Yoongi to jump in somewhere. But he didn't. Until the very end. And now I'm left stunned speechless. I really hope that it doesn't take another 8 months to find out if Jungkook survives the fight! My sanity can't handle it. I completely understand why it was so important to you to get this fight right, and I definitely think you nailed it. But I think now the pressure falls on the Jungkook/Yoongi battle, so I fear it will take you just as long to write the next chapter. But I feel like it wouldn't fit the story if Jungkook dies. The whole story has been lead up to him claiming her and the really freakin' awesome smut scene that is supposed to follow it. And if he dies, I feel like I would be jipped out of what the story was doing for 13 chapters. And if Yoongi wins that means he forcefully claims and rapes OC over and over again. I'm not sure that would be a good rest of the story! LOL So I'm pretty sure Jungkook will win. I'm like 80/20 on Jungkook winning over Yoongi. But now I'm thinking what ifs. What if Jungkook does lose to Yoongi, but can't handle the thought of losing OC, so he goes rogue, steals OC, and they run away together, forever to be hunted by Yoongi. See now my mind is wandering all over the place with what could happen in the next chapter. This is why I hope it doesn't take 8 months to find out. I will probably pull out all my hair by then!

A horrific ending, you say? Oh dear… that’s not good. Hard to hear that something I wrote was horrific. :/

Anyway, It has been a little while since COC was updated, but as I went over in my author’s note, it was important to me that this chapter was done right and that it was everything that I envisioned in my head. This chapter and the next one both were one of the first ideas I had for this story, so I wasn’t happy with what I was producing prior to posting.

Of course, being that I am a very self-critical person, I wasn’t entirely happy with how this one came out. I felt like I could have done it better, but it came to a point where I just couldn’t stand to keep deleting what I had anymore, and so I made myself keep going until this chapter was finished through a 3-4 day period.

It seems like what most talking about is that ending. It’s not a kind of ending I’ve ever written before, but then again, I’ve always tried to challenge myself to being in new elements and facets to my writing so that I can continue to develop it.

You seem very worried about Jungkook, but I think it would assuage you a little if you remember all the things that your alpha has promised to you and what he’s told you about his seasoned status in combat.

After all, one does not come to be the Lead/Pack Alpha unless all other alphas submit/yield to him. For that, he would have to battle any alpha that tried to take his title/rank.

Even Yoongi.

Recall that Jungkook has asked you to trust in him. To believe in him. For his sake, you should.

Also, the next update won’t take months. I promise.

[fioreloe]

To my dearest Ylana Xyne,

This is Eero Antonio, back with his monthly letter to his very own beloved one. Allow me to be cheesy for a moment, and I present to you all of these paragraphs.

Speaking of letters, there are many things I have told you, some of which are said and some of which are unsaid. I believe it was a blissful event to have you come into my life because I am now able to love and protect you.

Suddenly, I've been thinking about what my favorite phase of life was recently, and I guess it was July, the day you came to me for the first time. From a total stranger to one of the most important people in my life. Life is full of meaningless repetition, but I don't mind having it with you because you're the one who always throws away my blue. I wish you had the spark for every "Baby, kumain ka na ba?" " at 8 a.m., "I love you" every hour of the day, our never-ending midnight talk where the topics sometimes went deep or really shallow, and mostly about nonsense in the world because the day passes quickly with my Ylana as my best companion. Even if you do nothing, I will be grateful for your entire existence because I am the happiest human-being because of you. Every single thing you say makes me feel something.

I used to be someone who would refrain and avoid getting hurt at all costs, but now I'm at the point where it's okay even if it's going to be hurtful in the end as long as the person is you. I value you the most. I rarely feel at ease with people like this, but you did, and I'm eternally grateful. Being around you makes me feel safe since I don't have to pretend to be anyone else; I can just be myself, and you wouldn't want any other boyfriend. Thank you for wanting to understand me and for always being willing to deal with my flaws.

As a sane person, as someone who is willing to stick with you through many ups and downs, as a lover with many loves to offer, worries are unavoidable at times. Things like "What ifs" used to creep me out. But, on the other hand, I devised a solution. Instead of thinking about those unpleasant unproven thoughts and assuming things, I'd rather think about our happiest current state. What if I kiss you right now? What if we cuddle close and stare at your pretty face? What if we talk until the sun rises again today? What if we spend our monthsary with the biggest smile on our faces.

I can't promise that I won't be busy in the coming days, but please keep in mind that I love you even on my busiest days, and that I always think of you as I go about my business. If our quality time is lessened due to my hectic schedule, it does not mean I love you any less. I still love you the same, and I love you more and more every day. To the edge of the universe, I love you more than you can imagine. I wish I could win our never-ending race to love you more.

It's okay to not be okay sometimes, but please remember that no matter what happens, I will stay and I will be here. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll lend you mine; if you want to cry, I'll accompany you with my own cookies and warm hugs; if you're tired, I'll let you sleep in my arms; and if you feel like the world is against you, let me be your world instead - the kind of world that treats you with care and will not let you be hurt. I know what's best for my love, and I know what you truly deserve.

Apparently, expressing how much I adore you would be a never-ending chapter. You are deserving of all of my love. Seeing you asleep while I'm awake filled my heart; knowing you're awake while I'm sleeping makes me feel warm and content, knowing that someone loves me that much and always wants me to get enough sleep. It goes without saying that I adore you. One of my favorite things about you is that you always know how to make me your special someone. You are everything that the song "Lemonade" is about: a sunshine in the rain, my Tylenol when I’m in pain, lemonade when it’s burning hot on summer days, you are exactly everything what I need.

Ylana, you can show me your most vulnerable side while also being a tough person with a pure loving heart, okay? I appreciate you always being my number one cheerleader when no one knows what's going on behind my remarks. That is why this also applies to you. Baby, I may not always know what's going on and what you're going through, but one thing is certain: I'm always rooting for you and what you do. I am your home, and you can always come back to me. I'm proud of you because you handled everything so well. You deserve everything good in life, and I'd trade my soul for it. I'm far from a powerful person, but I can give you my biggest bear hug right now.

Happy second month to us. I love you endlessly forever and more.

[tardis--dreams]

I gotta stop writing "the manner in which" in my papers. it's insufferable

[thegingeralien]

Thought I might share my “doing homework with adhd” tips in case the might help even just one person (because that would make me feel happy).

Who am I to be giving you advice? Good point! I am still terrible at studying and I’m 26 and at University for the millionth time. But I have studied A LOT in my 22 years of schooling with varying degrees of success.

I see a lot of people, especially teenagers or first year university/college students, with ADHD asking for tips on how to study. But if you do a google search most of the websites and advice that comes up can be extremely ableist. So I hope I can help someone!

TIPS TO HELP YOU STUDY WHEN YOU HAVE AN ADHD GREMLIN BRAIN!:

1. Chewing gum!

- This might come across as a weird one, but it has actually really helped me. I use it as a form of stimming to help keep me focused and concentrating. Other forms of stimming can potentially end up being more of a distraction when you actually need to be reading or writing - but they can help if you just need to be listening. Try not to get a bubble gum or fun flavoured one though - as they can end up making your mouth feel dry, lose flavour quickly, and just give your brain way too many sensory things to become distracted with.

2. Buying colour coded stationary!

- New stationary can make me really excited to start studying, but that excitement never lasts long and the act of buying stationary can sometimes become it’s own hobby. That’s not what we are going for here. I really recommend, especially if you are a visual learner like me, to buy colour coded stationary. This means removable page markers, different coloured post it notes, highlighters, sometimes even pens. This way if your mind jumps from one topic to the other, it doesn’t matter. Go with the flow. Forcing your ADHD gremlin brain to focus can be extremely counter intuitive. So pick a colour for each topic, and stick to that system to find organisation among your own chaos!

3. Buy a really cheap, boring year diary with hardly any writing inside.

- Not sure if your school/university has their own diary but they can be perfect for what I am on about. Generally you can find them for really cheap, soft cover, no writing or designs within the dates. Just dates, days, weeks and lines where you can write your homework. This helped me a lot in High School. I wish I had kept doing it in University, but I am good with giving advice, and not so much with taking it. I used to decorate the outside of it however I wanted. Some years I would redecorate the same diary every semester. In the public holidays or holiday days I would colour those lines in with different highlighters to make it look like a rainbow. But every assignment due date, homework, draft, rewrite, form I had to bring back, library book due date, school activity days, ANYTHING to do with school I would write in there with reminds and check lists. Important due dates would be highlighted, general homework and daily to do lists t(o help me not leave my assignments to the last minute) would have a tick box beside them (because ticking tick boxes is free dopamine). Try to not put birthdays or fun things in it. This is a small way to stay on track so it helps you actually stay on track with the big things when you’re home.

4. Big whiteboards stuck on the wall where you can’t avoid it.

- This is not something I had in school, but I so wish I did. I have been using this recently to keep on top of house work (as maintaining your own house is tiring) and my small business or other things I really can’t avoid. If I physically write it down (not just in my phone) it psychologically does help you commit it to memory. Again, physically putting a line through a task you just completed is a hecking great rush of dopamine. But the biggest reason I love my white board, I can’t ignore it. It is stuck to the wall and is never out of sight, out of mind. I can’t put my phone or diary down and then refuse to look at it until I’m past the due date. Again, I’m not a perfect person, there are days where I don’t do anything I have written on the white board. But the great thing is, I don’t have to continuously feel like I failure, as I can wipe it all off the next morning or week and start fresh. I also put important things I have to remember that I’m doing during the week so I don’t forget them.

5. Icky Medication.

- I know not everyone wants to be on medication, and I understand. I am not forcing you to. No matter what your opinions are, you lovely gremlin who is still reading this post, regarding medication, you are valid and I respect you. My personal experience with medication has not been the best. I have been misdiagnosed for a severe chunk of my academic life which has seen me trying to focus and maintain school work under some even worse states then I am unmedicated! However, since receiving my diagnosis and finding the right ADHD medication for me, I have the ability to get so much work done without having to unnecessarily struggle. It’s unfortunately not magic, it will not turn me into a robot that makes me do work and turn out incredible, noble peace prize winning assignments (as much as I wish that were possible). I still have the ability to be a lump, doom scrolling through tumblr, forgetting to eat, and ignoring responsibilities. But it really helps me when I sit down and start that thing that isn’t fun. Yesterday it helped me hyperfocus on cleaning my office which was a terrifying room to be in. So it’s pretty close to magic in my opinion!

6. Accessing Disability Support at your place of learning.

- Not all of you taking the time to read this will have either a) an offical diagnosis or b) a good disability support available to you wherever you are completing your studies. And that is okay. This dot point just won’t be for you right now. But keep it in mind for a time when it might apply to you, as it’s something I never thought I would need, but will never take for granted ever again.

- If you have an offical diagnosis and Disability Support, make an appointment with the disability support adviser. DO IT NOW! Get your psychiatrist to write a diagnosis letter outlining that you have <enter superpower that makes you hilarious here> and that you are receiving <enter x,y,z treatment here> and that you would benefit from receiving <enter what you have always wished you had on the days you can’t make your ADHD gremlin brain do the thing here>. Now these benefits can be, but not limit to: automatic extensions on ALL assignments, extra time on exams, extra breaks to walk around while taking exams, special consideration when marking assignments, my university allows me to take exams in a separate room with only the other students in my subject who also have disability support (occasionally I have taken an exam alone with only a tutor present) so I don’t get distracted, permission to take fidget items into class or exam (I have the option to wear headphones, as long as I can display that they are not connected to anything). Maybe you can come up with some great ones for you with your disability advisor or your psychiatrist.

- The disability advisor will often go through your course outline with you at the start of each semester or year. This is annoying and a great time for disassociating, but can be useful in hindsight because you are made aware of everything that will come up during your class so you are not surprised. Because lets be honest, it is unlikely you are going to look at the course calendar too often.

- Side Note: I make an appointment every semester with my disability support officer for my area of study to make sure I have my special considerations for the year. Now I may go through the whole year without ever using my considerations. However, the fact that I know they are there takes an insane amount of pressure off of myself. If I’m having an insanely screwy loony tune mental health moment, I can email my coordinator my disability plan and say I need an extension due to personal reasons, and WHOOP, there it izzzzz.

7. Dedicated one thing or a few things that have nothing to do with food/alcohol/other substances to reward yourself with for doing the thing!

- This may not work for everyone. It doesn’t always work for me. I used to reward myself with food, but that only reinforced my stimming with overeating and my already bad relationship with food. And I feel as though that would be the same with any other substance that can be linked with addiction. (Addiction is a tough word, cause what aren’t I addicted to, I have ADHD, but hopefully you get what I mean!).

-Now, boring try and not choose this aside, lets think of somethings that work really well as rewards!

- My partner likes to come give me a kiss and a hug when ever they have written and reread a paragraph, you might buy a book when you get a really good mark, you might want to go make a cup of tea and watch an episode of your hyperfixation after studying for <enter a good period of time here>, you might allow yourself to partake in an activity you usually do while procrastinating (but at least this time you know you aren’t putting something off), talk to someone who you know will tell you they are proud of you as they understand the mental struggle you go through to concentrate (if you can’t think of anyone, it is 110% okay if that person are the amazing people on tumblr or the adhd tumblr chats. We will freaking pop a bottle of champagne for you cause we get it!).

- Try and make what ever you choose be something in a different room or away from your working space. Getting out can really calm you down.

8. Don’t be afraid to ask for assistance.

- This is true for anything, but I don’t mean just asking your teacher to give you extra help understanding the task and marking rubric. Many people online, tutors, librarians at your school, past or present students offer assistance rereading and making small edits (they won’t make it magical unfortunately) to your assignments. If you are like me and once you have written or completed the dreaded thing, you can not imagine or force your gremlin brain reread or edit the thing. So it can help to just delegate this to someone else, who hasn’t read it before, so they won’t disassociate or skim read it. They will often notice things you never would have even if you were neurotypical as that is just what happens when you have been working on something for so long.

9. Repetitive music.

- It generally helps if this has no lyrics. Lo-fi is amazing. Classical is alright too if it works for you, but both my partner and I agree that it can really assist you to keep up pace and focus when the beat is a high and repetitive (almost meditative) tempo.

10. Limit your screen space.

- This is a tip completely from my partner @dr-adhd who also has ADHD, is an avid PC gamer and is consistently in a battle with their gremlin brain to focus on completing their PhD. They have discovered that it really helps them to limit their screen space - simply put, work on one screen only. They have done more work more easily when they have their one screen on their laptop to focus on. Whereas their office has multiple screens so they could be playing runescape, watching YouTube, listening to lo-fi and doing work - which never worked (shocking right hahaha).

11. At the risk of sounding like a Mum... Put your phone and other electronics other than the assignment necessary one, away.

- I am a Mum, but to a fluffy puppy dog, so I hate to sound like my Mum when I was in high school, but she was right. Mobiles are the single easiest and biggest distraction in ADHD history. I often, even at coffee shops, have to turn my phone over so that I am not consistently looking at it every time the screen lights up to say the pizza place has sent me a coupon, or a carpet place that has been having a sale since I was born is... still having a sale, or a friend from school wants you to watch this TikTok. Even though you might not want to ignore your friends, because people pleasing, difficulting making/keeping friends and RSD are hecking real things, but they can all wait. Trust me, none of them are urgent. That TikTok will still be funny in an hour or two. And I’m probably completely right when I say that whomever just messaged you, never replies as quickly as you want them too. So I doubt they are going to think twice if you are MIA to finish your thing.

My partner or I might add to this later, but at the moment I already know that I probably wouldn’t read this wall of words if I was the one reading it, so if you are still with me, THANK YOU and I really hope I might have helped you. Sorry for the mound of words, but maybe you can reblog, screen shot, or save this and read a dot point at a time or refer to it when you need. Don’t be afraid to ask questions, I promise what ever it is, I’ve asked the same thing once in my life or something MUCH stupider.

[allywritesanimeforfun]

so for my final speech in my comm class, I did a character study on Viktor Nikiforov 

ive been doing this character study for over 3 months now and im still adding more to it. in this speech, I focus on proving that Viktor is a round character, not a dynamic character. so uh, yeah, here's the script for it.

(the speech itself was shit. I'm a creative writing major with a minor in professional writing and publishing, I'm supposed to write what people perform, not perform it myself. but hey at least the structure was top tier. remember reading this that I was turning this speech into my 60 something year old professor and I was trying to avoid the homosexual parts and not confuse him, so summaries are pretty generalized. im also too lazy to take out my stage directions)

(also why the fuck is there a word limit on blocking, so ignore the random paragraphs)

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Would spending one year out of your home country change your personality? (pause) The sports anime Yuuri on ICE! Follows the journey of figure skating legend Viktor Nikiforov. Viktor is a russian skater that is at a loss of motivation for his upcoming season, despite winning his 5th national championship in a row. After seeing japanese skater, yuuri katsuki, perfectly (emphasis) copy his own routine, he decides to move to japan for the next season to coach yuuri, despite yuuri planning to retire due to his failed season. (mini pause) Some say that because of this dramatic change in way of life, Viktor's personality and core values also changes, making him a dynamic character. (matter of fact tone) A dynamic is defined by dictionary.com and author’s magazine as a “...a character who undergoes innerchange-- or overcomes a flaw-- as a change of personality or attitude.” However, I (gesture to self) have been studying Viktor as a Creative Writing Major for over 3 months now, and I define Viktor as a round character. (matter of fact tone) Dictionary.com defines a round character as a character  “...whose personality, background, motives, and other features are fully defined by the author” which in other words means that there is not a change in character.

 In the next 8-10 minutes, I (gesture to self) am going to persuade you (gesture to audience) to believe that although Viktor changes his way of life, his values and personality remain consistent through analyzing his character of selflessness, raising others up, and his hidden emotional side. 

I will first show you that Viktor is the opposite of selfish, despite how his peers perceive him to be.

In the second episode (two fingers up), when Viktor’s coach, Yakov, is being interviewed about his thoughts on Viktor taking his year break, he tells the reporters that Viktor “...only thinks of himself, and will never be anyone’s coach.” (questioning/curious tone) (open gestures) You would think that Viktor’s coach, (emphasis) the person who spends the most time with Viktor, would know Viktor the best,(move hand from left to right) and that when Yakov says Viktor is selfish, (all knowingly tone)then he must be selfish. However, Yakov has clearly been misled by Viktor. He thinks Viktor to be selfish because (put hand down) Viktor makes his own routines and chooses his own music, which means that he does not consult Yakov, which makes Yakov believe that Viktor only cares about his skating. However,(pause) this is far from the truth. On the surface level, (pause) Viktor is leaving Russia purly for himself, because he is at a loss of motivation. This is false. Sure (more playful but still serious tone), it is a factor, but the real reason for Viktor leaving is because he can no longer surprise his audience.

Throughout the series, Viktor praises that the best skating is the skating that surprises the audience. In his previous competitive season, he only won by 34 points to his best friend, Chris. (more curious, but not intensely curious) Despite being behind, the audience was not surprised that Viktor won because it is clear that he is the best of the best. Not being able to surprise the audience anymore is what makes Viktor unmotivated and his reason for leaving. If (<--power) Viktor truly was selfish, he would not care about his audience and continue dominating. (emphasis) But he isn't selfish, (more breathy, like we should know this by now) he cares more about the audience than his own skating and takes the break not for himself, but for the audience. (take a step) Now that Viktor has decided to take a break, it is time for him to choose who to coach. With keeping in mind that Viktor has the purpose of surprising the audience, he needs to choose someone who they will be surprised by. Viktor is not going to leave this season without surprising the audience, which is why he chooses Yuuri to coach. If Viktor was selfish, he would choose an already amazing skater and make them his rival for the next season. The obvious choice would have been Chris, who almost beat him. However (pause) Viktor is selfless and his first priority is surprising the audience, so Chris winning the Grand Prix Final, which is recognized by the International Skating Union (ISU) to be the second most important competition, would not be surprising.

The next obvious choice would be Yuuri Pelsiky, also known as Yurio, because he is making his senior debut and is also Russian, which means that Viktor would be able to stay at home. (curious-ish tone) But Yurio winning wouldn't be surprising either because no one has seen skate in the Senior division, (playful, matter of fact tone) and of course he would win with the world’s top skater as his coach. So Viktor chooses Yuuri,(pause) who in last year’s Grand Prix Final took last place and planned on retiring. Viktor choosing Yuuri is selfless because (list making tone, use fingers to show what number we’re on) he is one, choosing someone that he knows will surprise the audience if he wins, and two, he knows that yuuri still loves to skate and is amazing because even after he took last, he still skated Viktor’s program on his own time perfectly that Viktor used to win. Viktor purposely chose someone who he knew needed his help and at the same time, would surprise his audience--which to me (pause and gesture to self), is the most selfless choice. But, (pause) before Viktor can officially become Yuuri’s coach, Yuuri must outskate Yurio because Viktor made the promise to Yurio that he would choreograph his routine for his senior debut. In this competition, (pause) Viktor does the least selfish act and gives both of his routines that he meant to use this season to Yuuri and Yurio. (matter of fact tone) Of course he would not be able to use either of them this season because he is not skating, but he still could have perfected it even more and used them for next season, but he doesn’t. Instead of being selfish and keeping them for himself, he gives both of them away. By the end of the show, Viktor is clear to be selfless because he tells Yuuri that he is proud that Yuuri and Yurio beat both of his world records (short program and free skate) using the programs that he choreographed for himself. (very short pause) A selfish person would be jealous of these accomplishments because those are the programs that they were supposed to use, and the programs that would’ve made them an even better skater and broke their own record, making it harder for those to become better than them. 

(take a step, loosen up) So in review, (small pause)  if you believe what Yakov said to be true, then Viktor would seem to be a dynamic character because his personality trait changes from (left hand out, then right)selfish to selfless. But after studying his character (lower hands), I have proved that Viktor was selfless from the start, and that his actions only reinforced his character, not changed it, making him a round character.

Now that we understand that Viktor is selfless and not selfish, (smile, playful) let's understand how he does the opposite of bringing others down.

As said earlier, (small pause) Viktor was at his peak when he took a break, he was the skater to beat. Because he is at the top level, some see his critiques of others as negative and that he has the intention of putting others down; however, (making light of the situation)what seems to be his discouragements is really encouragement and he is trying to raise others up. In episode 5, Yuuri fails to motivate Minami, a skater making his senior debut and sees Yuuri as an idol. Viktor yells at yuuri and says “if you can’t motivate others, then how are you supposed to motivate yourself?”. At first,(small pause) this comment seems filled with (closed fist) anger and that Viktor is meaning to put Yuuri down on how he handled the situation. After looking into his true intentions, it is clear that he is trying to motivate Yuuri to do better. (a little quieter, like this is a secret) This comment is really for both of them.(matter of fact tone) Remember, that one of the reasons why Viktor is coaching is to motivate himself. What he is really telling Yuuri, is that if Yuuri can’t motivate him, then how is he supposed to motivate himself? As they both know, coaching Yuuri is really motivating Viktor, so by Viktor saying this to Yuuri, he is encouraging him to become more motivated because others are motivated by him. This comment isn’t made to make Yuuri feel bad about himself, it’s made so that Yuuri feels more confident because he is able to motivate others, that he is an inspiration and can continue to do so.

In the next episode, same competition, Chris tells Victor that because Viktor is not skating this season, he “...no longer feels motivated…” and “...cannot get serious…”. But after watching Yuuri skate, he says he “... does not want to lose to…” him. Skaters, (head tilt) and Chris, that have competed against Viktor in the past felt that by taking a break, that Viktor was saying that they were not good enough to compete against, and just like Chris told us, makes them unmotivated and at a loss. However, what Viktor is really trying to do is show his competitors that he is not the only threat. Now that Chris has made it clear that Yuuri skating is now motivating to him, and to others, it is clear that Viktor was really trying to tell the others that they too (emphasis, think of the president being motivating) can be just like Yuuri and rise to the top. Viktor didn't leave to tell others that they are not good enough, he left to show them they can become the best and win competitions, even if they feel like they’re not good enough. Viktor never had the intention of bringing them down, instead, he’s raising them up through coaching Yuuri. This proves that Viktor is not a dynamic character and changes to raise others, but instead he is a round character and has always been this way. 

In review, by choosing to coach rather than skate, Viktor is opening the eyes of others competitors in an attempt to motivate them and raise them up to the next level.

(take a step) Now that it is clear that Viktor has the intention of bringing skaters to the next level, let's analyze if Viktor developed an emotional side to him.

Countless characters say time and time again that Viktor does not feel emotions, that he simply breathes skating. It is the only other thing that Yakov criticized about Viktor, that Viktor does not feel the emotions that he is skating. Because of this, (small pause) people assume that Viktor simply does not feel emotions, but that is not true. (offended type of tone) Firstly, just because Viktor does not feel the emotions that he's portraying through his skating, does not mean that he doesn’t feel them at all. It is clear that Viktor is accurately getting emotions across because of the audience reaction, but he is only able to be this accurate if he has once felt these emotions. As stated by Viktor himself, he “...can now feel (a little louder on new)new emotions” thanks to Yuuri. This means that before, he was feeling real emotions, he was just really good at hiding them. Viktor was a man who kept to himself and skating, Yuuri is the first person to bring new emotions out of him. He was never emotionless,(matter of fact tone to soft) he just hid them well. To further understand Viktor’s hidden emotions, (small pause) you again have to understand his coaching. In his coaching of both Yuuri and Yurio in the beginning, he never teaches them anything that he doesn't know how to do himself. So when Viktor sends both of them on a journey of self discovery to be able to accurately portray the emotions in the programs that he gave to him, we can assume that Viktor does this himself. He would never try to coach them on something he already hasn’t done before. Because of this, it can be concluded that this is the strategy that Viktor used to get in touch with his emotions, something that an emotionless person would not be able to do. This means that Viktor is not a dynamic character and changed from emotionless to emotional, he has always been emotional and moving has brought this side to light, making him a round character. 

(deep, soundless breath, relax, shake out the legs a little) so in review, Viktor was always able to feel emotions from the start, he just hid them well and through Yuuri, he learned how to better express himself and was able to feel some new emotions. 

(take a step) I’ve been studying Viktor’s character for well over 3 months now. I have watched the full series three times now, along with countless hours of individual episodes to understand his character. To me, (distraught tone) it is upsetting when someone makes incorrect conclusions about his character.( small sway of body, barley noticeable but still there) Like when they think that Viktor is selfish when really all of actions are done for other people. Or when they think that Viktor takes advantage of his high status and drags others down with it, when really he is trying to motivate them and dare them to take their own skating to the next level. And lastly, when they assume that he cannot feel emotions just because he keeps to himself. Leaving his home country for a year didn't change who he was, it only reinforced it. 

In the last 8-10 minutes, I hope that through my character study of Viktor Nikiforov, you see him the same way I do, that he doesn’t change throughout his story, he only becomes stronger.

[masterhandss]

Thanks for talking about Geordo! I really appreciate getting to see a lot of thoughts that I have about him reflected; he really is such an interesting character. One aspect I like most, that does go some way to explaining his behaviour, is that he's just fundamentally shit at expressing himself honestly lol. He only just started recognising emotions at 8, so obviously he resorts to these socially-prescribed advances to communicate, since his own words aren't the best. He's always deflecting.

Seeing a positive ask about Geordo amongst my inbox questions is very refreshing, thank you anon!

Thank you as well for summarizing Geordo's character arc in such a short and concise way! :DD Geordo being an emotionally stunted character wasn't really portrayed that much in the earlier content of hamefura, but its really in the later books in the novels that we get to see some repercussions of that in his character.

-> minor hamefura ln spoilers ahead <-

"Learning that my heart held such strong emotions confused me, and seeing how I could not overcome them disgusted me. A wonderful, talented prince? I, this fool who cannot even control his emotions? What an embarrassing pathetic joke." —Geordo, LN8 Chp. 5

His lack of sympathy/empathy means that his anger is unhinged and extreme. When he's completely angry it'd be almost impossible to calm him down. His feelings of jealousy and attachment are pretty extreme too, which is probably why he reacts negatively when other people touch Katarina so affectionately (like to Alan in S2 EP1). He's still not completely used to love and being loved, which is why he is so aggressive and desperate to show love but is a blushing mess when receiving love (the way he flirted with Katarina in LN7 and tried everything in his power not to blush when he realized that she's actually embarrassed by it for once is a short line I always come back to). When he's happy and relaxed, he really relishes in the feeling and hopes that the moment doesn't ever end.

I kinda like to headcanon due to how many times the books mention how frequently he forces in a charming and can-do smile to nobles even until the present due to their expectations of him as a prince and as "Geordo the perfect dude", that he probably still have instances where he forgets what genuinely smiling happily feels like, until he interacts with Katarina and his friends where he could remember again.

His role as a prince means that lots of eyes are on him, and he always needs to be whatever they want him to be in order to do that job. He might be the opposite of Ian when it comes to emotions (who is familiar with them but barely shows it, since Ian kinda has them turned off just like Nicol's), where because he's still unfamiliar with them some of them can be quite extreme and unhinged. He doesn't cope with those expectations by just not caring like Alan, by pretending not to care but will deal with them in the shadows like Jeffrey because he knows it's his responsibility to respond to those expectations.

Geordo reminds me of a comic I loved when I was got into high school called "World Canvas", where the protagonist is a girl who can identify a person's history, interests and personality by simply touching something that has their handwriting in it. Because of this, she can't create meaningful relationships and is bored of other people because she immediately knows everything about them; how they think, who they are, what their backstory is etc. Just like Geordo, the protagonist too finds solace in the companionship of someone she can't read, because it forces her to actually get to know the other person through he own efforts.

I know it's cliché, but it really shows how boring the world is for someone like Geordo, who couldn't connect to people because he can analyze them so easily, and because he doesn't have functioning emotions to help him identify how to feel about other people. How he feels doesn't matter when he's in front of adult nobles or clingy noblewomen, so he's never really emoted on his own before he met Katarina and all their friends.

And like you said, anon! To some extent not only is he excessively flirty towards Katarina because he's desperate to win her affections, but also because it's the only way he knows how to communicate feelings of romantic affection towards a partner. Like I said a few paragraphs ago, when it actually works he gets super embarrassed by it XDD and when it doesn't, he assumes that his attempts are being blocked by other forces such as their friends, so his solution is just to be even more aggressive lmao.

Thank you for the ask :DD

[hajim3]

𝙽𝚂𝙵𝚆 𝙰𝚕𝚙𝚑𝚊𝚋𝚎𝚝: 𝚃𝚊𝚗𝚊𝚔𝚊

꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒦꒷‧˚꒦꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷

Ok i put way to much into this and idk why I honestly did not try to 😭

nsfw under the cut; minors pls dni

word count 1.1k

a/n: there’s a weird glitch/bug that’s happing with my posts where it deletes sections/paragraphs or it has certain sections/paragraphs more than once and idk how to fix it because it’ll just mess it all up so I’ll try my best until something is done about it. (6/23/21)

꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒦꒷‧˚꒦꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷

A: Aftercare~ cuddles, cuddles, and more cuddles. And honestly he would have an assload of energy left but it depends on how tired you are if y’all go another round or two or not. He also runs the fanciest looking baths like omfg. Flower petals, bath bombs, and candles surrounding the tub and if you have sensitive skin you better know damn well he has everything you need to have you feeling soft asf 😌

C: Cum~ Most of the time it’s inside a condom, both of you feel that it’s safer but if you wanted him to cuz in or on you then he wouldn’t mind as long as it’s fine with you too

D: Dirty Secret~ Ok he’s had this on his mind for months and wants to bring it up but he would definitely let Noya join a few times but he would like it better if you brought it up knowing damn well he was thinking the same

D: Dirty Secret~ Ok he’s had this on his mind for months and wants to bring it up but he would definitely let Noya join a few times but he would like it better if you brought it up knowing damn well he was thinking the same

E: Experience~ Both of y’all’s first times was with each other but he kinda already knew what to do cuz you can tell me he hasn’t watched porn or even looked at porn magazines; luckily he catches onto stuff very quickly but he’s still got some stuff to learn

F: Favorite Position~ Ok he is a complete service top but he LOVES to see you on top of him; so Cowgirl, Reverse Cowgirl, or riding his face are his absolute favorite positions and he also has quick access to your thighs so it’s a win win for him

G: Goofy~ Come on now this is Tanaka of course he’ll be goofy asf during secksy time, at times he’s a little more serious but for the most part he like know that your enjoying it as much as he is

H: Hair~ Ok so we all know the carpet does not match the drapes; as far as maintenance, he’ll forget to do it sometimes so it gets a little wild but either he’ll take care of it himself or he’ll let you do it and he really doesn’t mind if you do

I: Intimacy~ Omg he treats you like royalty; nothing is worth more then making his s/o feel like they are loved and taken care of while throwing a little spice into it at the same time; he treats you with so much respect and honestly the both of you can’t ask for better

J: Jack Off~ He doesn’t do it as much often cuz he has you but before.... 😀 no comment; he also gets off the the nudes you send him

K: Kinks~ Ok he’s not vanilla but he’s not very kinky so I feel like he would like some bondage and sensory deprivation (my fancy way of saying blindfolds), he likes semi public sex as well, spanking, and he liked ducking you in front of a mirror

L: Location~ Your shared bedroom, the kitchen counter, the shower, and hidden but public spaces

M: Motivation~ It doesn’t take much to get him all hot and bothered, it’s as simple as touching his thigh, whispering in his ear, or kissing his neck, do all three and have fun not walking bae <3

N: No~ He will NEVERRRRR do ANYTHING with out your consent, he’ll even go as far as asking a second or third time; this baby will never purposely hurt you, he may like spanking you but that’s really it

O: Oral~ You- he loves when you suck him off he thinks you so sexy with your lips wrapped around him and tears coming from your eyes 😊; Him- omfg he will spend hour going down on you, he makes you cum so many times it hurts just a little bit but he just can help but slurp you every ounce of cum you give to him

P: Pace~ He’s either slow and deep or hard and fast... there’s literally no in between

Q: Quickie~ He fucking loves them, will beg for them until you say yes so yall would end up in an ally or an family bathroom taking care of business 😏

R: Risk~ He likes the risk of getting caught in public so he’ll make sure to fuck you extra hard and try to get you to moan really loud so other people can hear you

S: Stamina~ Fucking endless almost, y’all can go for hours and he’s asking and begging if you can go another round when you’re over here on the verge of passing out

T: Toys~ There’s a box under your bed filled with vibrators, blindfolds, maybe a couple dildos, and some rope

U: Unfair~ He’s not as ruthless with his teasing but that doesn’t mean he won’t do it, I feel like he’s the type that if y’all are walking together in public he would put his hand on your ass and just keep it there... like he doesn’t slap it, doesn’t rub it, or squeeze it, he just keeps it there and it annoys you cuz he won’t move it 😭

V: Volume~ Omfg he is a very vocal partner; loud moans, sexy grunts, and moaning your name and the best thing is, he gets a little whiney and shakes a bit when he’s about to cum

W: Wildcard~ Ok so y’all have gotten so comfortable with each other to the point where getting a nude out of nowhere are quite common; he doesn’t beg you for them but does ask and is very appreciative of them and he definitely got off to your nudes more times then he’ll actually admit

X: X-Ray~ Boy is big 😀 it’s not much of a grower it more so gets thicker; I’d say a good 8 inches soft and 9 hard and like I said it gets thicc bae 🤌🏾, it’s also got this on vein that goes down the length of the bottom of it and it’s pretty sensitive and you’ve used that against him a few times

Y: Yearning~ All the damn time; his sex drive is high at least a 8/10

Z: ZzZz~ Lkike I said earlier, he would still have some energy left and if y’all don’t end up going another round he’ll just handle the aftercare and cuddle you until you go to sleep then he may get up and go on a jog to relieve the rest of that energy and when he gets back he’ll wash up again so he won’t smell like outside (pocs understand perfectly) and he’ll climb back into bed with you and eventually fall asleep

FIN

 ⌜ •   °    +   °   •   ⌝

© original work of hajim3 (2021), do not modify or repost without permission.

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