#does this joke make sense to anyone else?

[innerfare]

You’re Jealous

 Summary: You get jealous of another woman in his life.

Characters: Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Sabo, Law, and Kid

Genre: Slight Angst // Fluff

CW: None // SFW

——— 

Luffy: He never told you Boa Hancock was in love with him, and when you find out, you have to remove yourself from the situation before you have an emotional outburst and start something with the Pirate Empress. The problem is, you don’t even know which emotion will spill out of you. Finding out the world’s most beautiful woman, and a powerful Warlord, no less, is desperate to marry Luffy is a whirlwind, to say the least. Luffy can seem clueless at times, but his emotional intelligence is through the roof, and he picks up on what has you upset almost straight away. He knows to give you some space, and when he senses you’re ready, he approaches you with a handful of wildflowers he picked. He doesn’t really say much, just pulls you into a hug, presses a few kisses into your cheek and temple, and says in your ear, “you’re my girl.” 

Zoro: He didn’t mention Perona was also at Mihawk’s castle for those two years until a few months after the crew gets together. He tells a story that features her, and you realize there was a woman keeping him company. Your heart drops into your stomach. Zoro insists he didn’t mention her because he didn’t think she was relevant; the only thing Perona did those two years was annoy him. He’s actually the one who won’t let it go, not you (even though you are pretty jealous). Whereas you’d prefer not to talk about it, Zoro is wracked with guilt because he’d never considered the whole thing in a relationship context. Him fretting constantly over it actually heals your jealousy because you realize you’ve never seen him panic over the prospect of hurting anyone else’s feelings. 

Sanji: Even with a third eye, Pudding is stunning. And Sanji almost married her. It was before you two were together, but listening to the stories from Whole Cake, hearing how close he came to marrying another woman, knowing she really did fall in love with his kind heart and wonderful cooking, turns you into a little green monster. You know you shouldn’t feel jealous of a woman you’ve never met before, a woman Sanji chose not to marry, but you can’t help it. Sanji is completely shocked that you would feel jealous over his relationship (if it could even be called that) with Pudding, though after thinking about it some more, he does realize why you might be jealous that he had a fiancé. His solution is to bring you a bouquet of roses and walk you through the dark details of his life, telling you things he’s never outright told anyone, so you understand the special place you have in his life. 

Ace: He collects people without trying, and often times, without realizing, either. Ace thinks he’s just making friends, but you see the way the women he laughs and shares drinks with are drawn to him like plants to the sun. He promises them freedom and adventure (and he has a very nice laugh), and you can see how it excites them. You don’t really mind it, knowing Ace well enough to see the way he holds those women at arm’s length, even if he seems close with them (such is the magic of Fire First Ace). But Yamato makes you jealous. It’s not hearing the way they laughed together but hearing the way they fought that gets you you. You know how Ace lives to fight and even just roughhouse, you know how he’s a rough and tumble guy, and you worry you’re not tough enough. Should you be punching his arm when he makes a joke? Should you be trying to trip him out on deck? What should you be doing? When you finally come clean with Ace about what’s been bothering you, he actually laughs. “If I wanted to be with someone who gives me hell, I’d be sleeping in Marco’s cabin every night. Besides,” he says, scooping you up in his arms, “I like being able to manhandle you.” 

Sabo: Sabo is a flirt, and you knew that going into your relationship. It actually doesn’t bother you when he flashes that charming smile of his at someone else or swoops in to save a damsel in distress (a speciality of his) and even serves to entertain, especially on the rare occasions his flirtations are rebuked. What does bother you, though, is his tight relationship with Koala. You know it’s ridiculous to be envious, you know Koala would sooner saw off her arm than kiss the man she considers her irksome big brother, but they’ve known each other since they were little kids, and Koala has been through so much with Sabo that the pair have such a close bond. It’s not the angry kind of jealousy that bubbles up in you when Koala mentions something about Sabo’s past that she assumes you know but you don’t, just the sad kind that you try to keep to yourself. Surprisingly, Sabo notices, though you don’t realize until he hugs you from behind and mumbles in your ear that he’s glad you’re the only one who knows he has a skincare routine, his silly words diffusing your mood and acting as the exact affirmation you needed. If it’s not enough, though, he’ll happily prove his loyalty to you by challenging Koala to a karate match, though.  

Law: Dr. Law and Dr. Robin sure do get along well- so well, in fact, you can’t help but wonder if they are better suited to each other than you and him. Even if they didn’t have such good chemistry, it would be impossible not to feel a touch of jealousy toward the archeologist. She’s intelligent, beautiful, fiercely loyal, a member of the Straw Hats, and has an impressive bounty that she earned even before she became a pirate. Needless to say, you find yourself brooding when the Robin brings him a beer and sits down beside him to discuss the immune systems of fishmen, a topic both are rather interested in. Of course, you’re interested in that, too, thus the reason Law realizes something is wrong when you don’t participate in the conversation. He ends up excusing the two of you and taking you to bed, worrying you had too much to drink, the thought you may be jealous never once occurring to him. You end up not saying anything (many thing in your relationship with Law being unspoken) and just sleeping it off, the fact that he excused the two of you proof enough of his loyalty. 

Kid: He doesn’t ever talk about his first love, Victoria. In fact, you didn’t even know she existed until Killer got drunk one night and began speaking of his dearly departed. What he didn’t mention was that Kid, too, had been in love with her. It only comes up the next night when you mention it to Wire, who mentions it was the death of his first love, Victoria, that put Kid on the war path and united the first four members of the Kid Pirates. Realizing Wire messed up, Heat chimes in to say, “he’d do the same for you.” But you’re not convinced, mainly because Kid never told you any of this. It tears you apart, leaves you tossing and turning for nights on end, until you finally burst into Kid’s workshop one night ranting about how he doesn’t trust you and holds you at arm’s length. “Heat says you’d do the same for me, but-” Kid cuts you off and says, “I wouldn’t do the same, I’d do worse. Much, much worse.” And from the wicked gleam in his eye, you’re inclined to believe him. 

———

Hope you enjoyed it! If you want more, you can check out my masterlist here!

[hanjisungslag]

attack on titan headcanons #13

synopsis: they love you but, you love their best friend.

characters involved: eren, mikasa, armin, sasha, connie, jean, reiner, bertolt, annie, levi, erwin & hange

notes: i made my first ever lengthy fanfic! first 3 episodes are out so, go check it out!!

☆ eren jaeger - armin arlert

his heart is crushed to smithereens but, he’ll never ever show it because as long as your happy, that’s all he can ask for in this dreadful world plus, i’m sure armin would be happy for you so… it’s a bonus. i guess. he’ll be fine watching you two get together (no he won’t) (he’ll cry and punch a lot of things).

☆ armin arlert - mikasa ackerman

he gets it, mikasa is way better than him in several different ways but also, stronger than him. she has the resilience for what it takes to survive in this world, she’s not called a 100 man army for no reason! she can protect you and probably love you better than he could. finding out this news takes a huge toll on his self esteem to be honest 🙁.

☆ mikasa ackerman - eren jaeger

oh, TRUST ME! she’s been there and done that, she gets it, if not more than anyone. she feels very conflicted because she got over eren… developed feelings for you… now, you like eren? it genuinely just feels like someone’s playing a sick joke on her.

☆ jean kirsten - connie springer

okay this actually kind of shocked jean because he thought was IN, he was complimenting you, you seemed to be liking it and taking them well plus, you spent a lot of time together! but then, he found out from reiner that you were gossiping with the girls, giggling about connie… maybe he’s funnier? kinder to you? more… handsome?!

☆ connie springer - sasha braus

wow. he loves sasha but cmon, SHES SO STUPID😭. he starts being really mean about her, not to her face, but he’ll make a sly comment here and there in front of people. oh, she messed up on the training? god, she’s so incapable! she tripped and fell? god, she’s so unaware of her surroundings! how stupid, amirite? don’t fret, jean is always there to wack him over the head and tell him to shape up. he only does it because it genuinely really upset him. he liked you a lot.

☆ sasha braus - jean kirsten

oh! i mean i guess that makes sense, sasha is just kind of a kind of silly food lover but jean… jean is ambitious, strong and motivated. maybe that’s what you want in a partner. she definitely changes her habits just out of feeling sad, like not eating as much, being more quiet, becoming less playful etc. everyone’s super worried but she barely realises she’s doing it.

☆ reiner braun - annie leonhart

well i be damned 💀. reiner never thought he’d see the day but here we are, you like annie and he likes you. he likes annie, don’t get me wrong, and he totally sees her good traits but like… really? you have a CRUSH on annie leonhart? he’s more confused than anything. honestly he’s grateful after a while (not really) because you’re a devil (you’re not to him, you look like you’ve fallen from the heavens) and he has to kill you (he would never).

☆ bertolt hoover - reiner braun

deep sigh. deepest of sighs. QUICK EVERYONE ACT SURPRISED! bertolt has always been in reiners shadow, just because he’s more reserved doesn’t mean he’s any lesser than reiner, cmon! but, he realised that maybe you just want someone like reiner, someone’s who is extroverted and manly.

☆ annie leonhart - bertolt hoover

well then, this is quite the turn of event. annie and bertolt were so close, she can totally see why you’d like him and it’s a TOTAL weight off her shoulders. she would’ve never confessed, girls got too much going on so, thank god your eyes wandered somewhere else. but, it doesn’t make it any less harder watching you and bertolt…

☆ levi ackerman - hange zoë

yeah no, like he totally gets it 😂😂😂. you totally didn’t break his heart FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME IN THIS MANS LIFETIME. bro cannot catch a break… it’s chill though. he’s chill, your chill, everyone’s chill (i’m so upset i have to write this) although, he will act more irritated with hange, even more than usual, he’ll act like they’re a pain in the arse. but, it’s understandable hange is, after all, more fun, talkative, intelligent and an all round better person to be with.

☆ erwin smith - levi ackerman

SECOND PERSON THATS BEEN SNATCHED FROM ERWIN but, at least it’s not nile dok again. he totalllyyy gets it like, it’s the levi ackerman. the worlds strongest soldier? hello?? he may be short but he’s strong, fearless, can protect you and goodness gracious he is handsome!! it’s hard for erwin to watch however, he makes sure to bottle it all up and focus on the task at hand.

☆ hange zoë - erwin smith

erwin smith… wow. maybe hange was just too… annoying for you? that’s the only solution they can come to. you still come to visit them and ask about titans and what not, it’s so hard to hear you talk about all the time you’ve been spending with erwin when you used to spend that time with hange. they’ll divulge fully into their work and become more recluse for a while.

[jermer10]

Yandere Scout with a civilian reader?

TF2 yandere scout x civilian reader

18+ only, gn reader | yandere scout my beloved

tw: yandere themes, stalking, graphic depictions of violence, non-consensual sexual activity

drabbles under the cut :P

Being the 10th class, 'The Civilian', you’re someone different, special in a way that the others aren't

You work behind the scenes, cleaning up the battlefield after each fight, being escorted from point A to B with sensitive information by whichever team had you for that week

Thus, Scout quickly becomes fixated, convinced that he’s the only one who can understand and protect you

His mind is always on you. During missions, downtime, and even in the middle of conversations with the team, you occupy his every thought

He imagines every scenario where he’s the one protecting you, keeping you safe, and, most importantly, keeping you his

Scout makes it a point to always know where you are, even when you think you’re alone he's there, watching from the shadows

You might think you hear footsteps behind you or feel eyes on you, but every time you look, no one's there, you start to spiral into a paranoid mess

Scout steps in as your personal confidant, gaslighting you into believing you're having some sort of stress related psychotic episode

His stalking becomes more brazen over time, but he always plays it off like it’s no big deal

Scout’s obsession with you knows no boundaries - most nights he sneaks into your room and watches you sleep (and yes, he touches himself to you)

He’s careful not to wake you, his eyes scanning every detail, convinced that no one else could ever appreciate you the way he does

Escalated from jerking off behind you, to rubbing his cock on your lips, to using your thighs as a fleshlight

He intentionally cums on pieces of clothing from your closet, he doesn't care if you notice, if you take them to Medic for analysis - the samples always seem to go missing anyway

Some nights he drugs you with the intention of actually fucking you, but he can never work up the courage, wanting to save your first time together for when you're officially his

His biggest fantasy is having you beg for him, he wants you to obsess over him in the way he does to you

He hates when anyone else talks to you, especially if you seem to enjoy their company

If another mercenary spends too much time around you, Scout gets jealous and finds ways to interrupt - whether it’s a poorly timed joke, pretending to need something urgently, or picking a fight with them, he won’t stop until they leave you alone

Scout likes to take little items as trophies or souvenirs, something to remind him of you when you’re not around (often repeatedly cumming on the items - marking his territory)

He feels entitled to your personal space and has no qualms about going through your things when you’re not there, sitting so close to you he's basically on top of you, hugging you and touching you without asking

If you ask for space or mention feeling uncomfortable he stops talking to you for days, making threatening and suicidal comments when you're in earshot

Eventually you apologize to him, and he makes sure you know how happy he is that you've "come to your senses"

"I dunno why you'd even think somethin' as stupid as that in the first place, I don't make ya uncomfortable, you're probably just feelin' totally flattered, babe! It's okay, sometimes I can't tell the difference either."

His obsession escalates into paranoia - he becomes convinced that everyone around you is trying to take you away from him

Even innocent interactions are blown out of proportion in his mind, and he’ll go to great lengths to ensure no one gets too close

He will sabotage others’ efforts to spend time with you, spreading rumors or even manipulating situations so that they’re pushed out of your life

It seems like everyone has picked up on his irrational behaviour except you, and god help the soul who tries to warn you, so they stay away and hope that his "crush" passes

If he feels like you’re pulling away or that someone else is threatening his claim on you, he might snap

In a worst-case scenario, he could take matters into his own hands, kidnapping you and isolating you somewhere he believes no one can hurt you

To Scout, everything he’s doing is out of love - his intense possessiveness, his constant stalking, and even the lengths he’s willing to go to keep you close are all justified in his mind

[thats-a-lot-of-cortisol]

I made a "Dora Having Sensory Issues" sketch page a while back but didn't like how it turned out; this is one of them that I refined because I wanted to turn it into a comic but lost the motivation for it; autism + sunlight sensitivity is one hell of a combination lol

[arkiwii]

dunno if anyone posted it before, but just for the people who don't read the files or are too lazy to buy her in the certificate shop; Caper is a minor 👍

[lylahammar]

why the fuck is it so socially acceptable to say hateful stuff about people with red hair

[rooolt]

the difference between oakworthy and gothcleats to me is that I need oakworthy to be a plot point spanning multiple episodes before they finally become canon in like the finale or something, whereas I need absolute radio silence on gothcleats from the cast. It’s not for them, I never want to hear about it in canon, if I do I simply pretend no I didn’t

[fivie]

I noticed you never use grantaire's nickname (R) in UMW-- i'm curious as to the reason! Is it a concious choice?

It is on purpose yes! It's because Grantaire kind of reversed the pun in UMW-verse:

In canon his given name is Grantaire -> that sounds like Grand R -> R

In UMW his given name is Rachmiel -> when he casts that off he opts to keep a part of it in the form of the first letter -> R -> Grand R -> Grantaire

[airbenderedacted]

So who’s your favorite character in Wander Over Yonder? And what’s your fav ship(s)?

Oh, I love playing this guessing game!! ♡ ～('▽^人) ✨

Favorite character? Well...

[🎨📺]

As for ships, I wouldn't exactlyy say I ship anything in this show tbch, but I'd say I'm especially fond of Sylava, in a strictly fanon kinda way.

[wr0ngwarp]

um. uh. hi every body. something evil and malevolent happened in my brain this month.

this is. um. a Jet Set Radio/Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Death joke AU, spawned out of a in-joke that started in a pokepasta discord. my apologies to both the pokepasta and jsr fandoms

the entire basis is the idea that Corn in Future retconned og JSR Beat as leader/founder of the GGs (is beat being leader in the og even CANON?) so Corn and Beat are the Myras. no it's not a joke funny enough to justify how many hours i sunk into drawing these. no attempt was made to change the setting, assign most of the other cast, or otherwise make this au hold up to ANY amount of scrutiny. if i tried to make this actually work somehow then i'd REALLY end up too far gone. also i keep calling myrtle!beat "Meat".

MEANWHILE, IN A BETTER UNIVERSE:,

[rainbow-arrow]

pretty fucked up adrien sang about ‘i’m the only one who hears your melody’ to marinette, in front of luka, who introduced them both to the whole internal melody thing. like. luka literally heard and described her melody not even a few weeks back. you were there, dude.

[moe-broey]

I really did just go "ohhhhh I was never meant to be a person the way everyone else is naturally. Okay 👍" and then exiled myself forwver about it. King shit

[ask-vance-phillip-lotf]

Are you gay for simon?

"ew, what? no, that's weird."

"just because i could hang around him all day every day and never get bored doesn't mean i like him."

"besides, why would a boy like me be interested in a boy like him? i could do way better than that."

"(please don't tell him that, i take it back, it'll hurt his feelings.)"

"BUT hypothetically speaking, for the sake of debate, say he was a girl, i might spare a second glance and maybe when we get off the island i'd think she should move to america with me and we can travel the world together or something."

"but that's all irrelevant, because being gay isn't right or proper, and simon, as far as i can tell, isn't a girl."

- vance phillip attenborough

[thefabelmans2022]

when i say "people don't understand that pippin is funny" it sounds insane but it's completely true.

[lesbiacnh]

omg i get a little stressed and to cope i end up playing esthetician until 130 am and go to bed feeling worse than before. and like id pluck every leg hair out but haven’t brushed my teeth yet. and after that my skin gets soo bad and im like whattttt why is this uappening.

[bizlybebo]

i have a very specific post/joke that would only make sense if me and my best friends campaign ocs had a fandom but alas