#does this mean i might have to private my art? god i hope not

[steakout-05]

important post regarding AI and Tumblr

i'm making this post just to make my followers aware that Tumblr is having a deal with selling user data to AI companies. as an avid AI Hater™ i'm incredibly against this decision as i think scraping people's data and using it to train models without them knowing is unethical. here's what to do if you don't want your blog to be a part of this:

go to your Blog Settings. on desktop, click your blog button and then click the 'Blog Settings' button on the right sidebar. on mobile, click the three bars in the top left, scroll to your blog button, open the menu underneath and click 'Blog Settings'.

scroll down to where it says "Prevent third-party sharing for [blog name]" and click the button next to it.

as an extra precaution i'm also discouraged searching for my blog from sites like Google and Yahoo as well. i hate the integration of AI into social media and i hope this AI integration trend burns and explodes into a million pieces.

[watchingblsnowandforever]

We Are Ep. 11

Part 2

Hello again!!!

Here's part 1 of this post. It's not necessary to read that, but this does follow directly from there.

Warning: long post 😊😅

And again, we see Phum coming here for no reason but to drop Peem off.

Also, he usually just stayed in the car previously, but now he's walking with Peem all the way.

I reckon we'll be seeing much more of Phum appearing in front of the Fine Arts building for nothing but to drop off or talk to his boyfriend Peem, in a slight reflection of all the times he came here to take Peem off somewhere to make him do something for him.

And I can't wait for it. <3

Q: something very gay is going on here hmm 🤨

Be glad it's Q (who has enough tact to ask you about it in private) and not Toey who'd immediately call y'all out 😭

He played in water all day with Phum and then they cuddled all night. Next question.

Poor Peem 😭

You just confessed you woke up together 😭

And you think someone as smart (most of the times) as Q wouldn't catch on?

[Also, just an observation: Peem is painting a scenery with water here too.]

Beer knows everything. 😌

He's the only one in their combined friend groups with two braincells, and he has no difficulty calling out his friends (Phum) when they're being idiots.

And again 😭

I see it's not your turn with the braincell yet, Peem

Also, the chicken sounds in the background I was dying 😭😂

Phum's backstory was painful to hear, but I kind of expected something like this. It would explain his attachment to plushies, his fear of losing people and behaviour that might seem "childish".

SO CUTE OH MY GODS

Q gives his beloved pencil case to his beloved nong Toey to draw on, and what does Toey do? Make the most adorable doodle of his beloved P'Q 😭👍🏼

Seriously though, this is really good, and it also probably has a beautiful symbolism that I'm too lazy to go into right now 😭

Coming from Q that means a lot. And Toey knows that very well.

Again, what secretly, you're both about as subtle as the glaring sun on a hot summer day.

And it's time you two idiots (affectionate) get your shit together and kiss as boyfriends (gods know you've kissed as... whatever you are right now more times than I can keep count).

Yeah! You're talking nonsense, Phum, it's obvious you fell first!

*sigh* honestly though, at this point, I don't know how, but they managed to be worse than even ChainPun.

Jokes apart, I know they're both a bit insecure, and they didn't get off to the best start. But I hope that in the next ep, they'll realize they're both head over heels for the other and finally start dating.

Also, about time Peem finally accepted Phum as his personal driver <3

That scene in the shop was very sweet too, and most PhumPeem scenes in this ep had me going all gooey and mushy hehe

This show I calling me out 🥲

But I'm even worse because I can only make Maggi (with or without added condiments) 😭

Do y'all see the importance of this moment?!

Phum in the painting studio?!

This painting studio is Peem's safe space, and he's allowing Phum in there willingly.

Slowly, but surely, he's letting Phum in, and starting to accept that yes, this guy is an idiot, but he's an idiot Peem really really likes.

I knew this was coming but that didn't mean I was ready for it 🫣😳

TanFang are absolutely slaying

Love them. <3

This scene is a goddamn masterpiece. It rendered me speechless. What am I supposed to say to that?

Peem's soft little "You did a great job, getting through those times." has me in a chokehold. The nose boop, the kiss- I'm screaming crying rolling around on the bed.

Tried to do a confident walk away but the gate was in his way 😭

Peem is me though, I bump into things like thrice a day at the least.

He- 😶

I gasped at this scene, because you realize what this means right?

This painting, that was ruined due to Phum, that he had to painstakingly repaint while having to obey Phum's whims, this painting that represents his comfort (I don't know shit about art interpretation, but in grade 12 I had friends who'd taken art and I learnt a couple things from them), that represents himself, and in this painting, he adds bright red roses, for the ones that Phum gave him when he was driving him back because he was absolutely wasted, the roses he didn't have the heart to throw out.

And he's drawing these red roses to represent Phum, to show that inexplicably, but undeniably, Phum is a part of his life now; a part he likes enough to embed in one of his most prized paintings (as assumed from various context clues and such along the series). And when he does, he thinks of how Professor Po said "Every work you create contains a piece of you".

If this doesn't show that despite his caustic and sarcastic exterior, Peem is a sappy mushy romantic at heart (he is a Fine Arts student after all), I don't know what does.

This moment felt so poetic (I literally could write a poem about it and it still wouldn't be able to capture the raw beauty and vulnerability and love of this scene.)

Update: I really did write a poem about it 😭

I really like this scene.

Apart from not leaving Kluen hanging, and making sure he knows, this moment is also about Peem admitting to himself aloud, that yes, he does like Phum. He's slowly getting out of De Nile.

He didn't have to say this, but he did. To gently reject Kluen and tell himself that there was no going back now.

Matt: what in the gay chicken-

Toey: ooh this seems interesting. will they kiss? 👀

Poor Chain 😭

Let him enjoy being shipped with his husband bestie!

And all the while these two are having a staring contest to decide who'll tell their friends.

Beer knows exactly what's going on.

This moment is everything to me (other than the one in the painting studio of course).

Peem tried to muster the courage to tell all his friends that he and Phum were... well, more than enemies or friends at least, but he couldn't.

And Phum, my beloved, while more than a little emotionally constipated, he has consistently tried to tell Peem what he feels. And now, he's the one outright saying he likes Peem in front of everyone. He's the one saying "okay, if you can't, I will." And I love him for it. He does it while staring right at Peem too.

Live Reactions of Friends Who Just Found Out that the Guy Who Ruined Other Guy's Painting and The Other Guy, Who Kicked Him In The Balls For It, Have Fallen Victim to the BL Laws and Are Now Very Much In Love.

Beer: knew it 😌

Fang: my little brother?!

Tan: YOU AREN'T SWORN ENEMIES?!

Matt: I have to deal with another couple?? 🥺🥲

Q: I'm not drunk enough to deal with this shit.

Toey: wait... I WAS RIGHT?!!

That freaking cliffhanger though 🥲

It's better now but at the moment I wanted to commit homicide 😭

I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself, Q's "RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD?!" expression is just too hilarious 😭😂

So that's all for ep 11, see you next week!

And if you made it this far, thank you so much for reading! 😊

Here, have a burger and some fries 🍔🍟

[If you want, my previous posts: Ep. 8 Ep.9 Ep.10]

[theyellowroseofsodor]

Welcome to The Yellow Rose of Sodor

Hello all, all hello! Welcome to the official tumblr for The Yellow Rose of Sodor, a work of fiction created by yours truly (Kamiko!). Although you won’t find much art here to begin with, as I am but a humble writer and my skills with the artistic pen are so-so, here there will be fun prompts and asks for the characters of the series. I will try my utmost to keep up with everything and no one will be OOC to the absolute best of my abilities. Here you can also ask Camille (my OC and lead female for the fic) and the other members of the steam team questions as well! 

Let me premise with I am a young adult (cries in turning 30 this year) and there will be some adult content here. I will not be posting anything graphic or considered NSFW, nor will anything like that be given a dignified response in the asks. I will be treating these characters just like how I would want to be treated. That means any questions about their more intimate relationship will be met with the following statement: “Epic and private” 

With that out of the way, I hope you enjoy your stay and feel free to stop by anytime! 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

A few questions I felt might be asked: 

Who’s my favorite character(s)?  Gordon and Henry are my top two. But I also love Donald, Douglas, Edward, James, and Paxton.

What got you into this fandom?  Funny story! I LOVED Thomas as a kid and my dad worked and retired from Union Pacific many years ago, growing up, I was around trains. Trains are awesome. I LOVE them, they are such an awesome symbol of our history and are just pretty freaking cool machines/engines. So, when I had kids of my own, I introduced them to Thomas, discovered it had gotten a CGI revamp while I was off being a preteen/teenager/young adult and I was like “WHOA! This is freaking exciting and cool!” So, I came back!  

How come you like Gordon so much?  Well.... that’s a whole question with a big honking answer that I currently don’t have the time to answer. I think it’s because Gordon has the most story and the most to offer, besides his charming personality and voice (they had no right to make him that attractive). Thomas is just a cheeky character and yes, the show is named after him, but all we know are his adventures that happen day-to-day. Gordon, we know, has a family and he’s lost a lot of that family. He has a brother that’s younger and famous and Gordon kind of has to live in that shadow and also get over his own jealousy. Technically, he was a prototype and wasn’t supposed to really stay on the line, yet here he is. He’s literally the symbol of strength and endurance. He’s here when he really shouldn’t and despite all odds is still rocking it. (That is until he was destroyed via All Engine’s Go along with everything else good in the world) 

What universe will you be focusing on?  So, from my basic understanding (I’m pretty new back in this fandom) there’s the original TV show that used the models, there’s the books, and there’s the CGI era. I really like the original TV show but I’m also living for the CGI era. I love the books too and I will be pulling from all three, but technically I’m mainly sticking with CGI. 

How does the magic/shifting work?  In my headcanon world, the magic to shift between engine and human was given by Lady to all the engines as she saw that many were being scrapped for no good reason as ‘better’ engines were being built. I couldn’t imagine, as a God, watching creations you love and cherish be thrown away, disposed of, torn apart, and burned (possibly alive), and not stepping in. So, that’s what I’ve done.  Newer engines have the ability to shapeshift and it comes just as naturally as foals/calves/kids/etc with the ability to stand and run within hours. The older ones, like the Steam Team, had to learn on their own and it originally happened one morning without them even realizing it had happened and scared the crap out of em. Now, they do it easily and when they want. 

Do the engines have rights? Can they vote? Do they earn wages?  So, I don’t want to get political in my fanfic (there’s enough drama in the world now that I really don’t want that in something I enjoy). Engines still have that deep rooted desire to be “really useful”. They want to work, they enjoy working! Getting involved in human political issues is just something they would rather stay out of. I like to think they coexist with the rest of us just like the other creatures we share this world with. If I’m being honest though, I think whatever rights an engine has, has to do with where they’re working and where in the world they are, just like everyone else. As for Sodor and the engines in this world, Sir Topham Hatt takes very good care of his engines and they’re treated like people.   As for the wages question, again, they’re still engines and don’t really understand the concept or want to understand the concept of money. They understand it for humans but they’re happy just existing. That doesn’t mean that they can’t have cool things. You’ll notice each engine has a cell phone and that’s just part of the times! It’s easier to keep up with one another on an island that way and helps out a lot. Camille has a Nintendo Switch and the others get the gaming console from Sir Topham Hatt and the others for Christmas.  Think of them like dogs but not in a rude way. They exist with us but are on a higher plane of happiness. 

Why do you have them written so young?  As long as an engine is cared for and not neglected they will look young. It’s LOTR elf rules with a small twist. They can live forever and not age. Also, have you watched the show? Edward is over 100 at this point and he still looks like he’s in his 20s/30s. Plus, there’s hints throughout the show of them acting like young adults/teenagers. Like the episode “Pouty James” where he’s called a “young steam engine” by Sir Topham Hatt much like a parent would say to their teenager “Young man” when they’re in trouble. He’s also said “steam engines these days” just like “teenagers these days”. 

Can engines get married? Are Gordon and Camille gonna get married?  Again, depends on where they’re living and if the people accept that sort of thing. Most engines just straight up don’t care. If they love another engine and want to dedicate their life to that engine, then by golly they’re gonna say they’re married or whathaveyou whether the human population likes it or not.  As for Gordon and Camille you’ll have just have to read to find out 😉 

Do they bleed/what happens when they get hurt?  I’m with @asktrio516 on this and I think that they would bleed like us, seeing as they have the ability to cry or taste, etc, but it would be a darker blood.  Injuries in their human form will translate to their engine form as well. Some injuries may be healed easier in their human form depending on part availability or how busy things are and vice versa. A serious injury in their human form may be much smaller in their engine form, or easier fixed. Just depends. 

How do they shapeshift without being naked next?  Mystique rules! They can shift the clothing onto themselves. Also anything like a cell phone or a watch or memento will also disappear with the magic dust when they shift into engines and reappear when human. Because magic, don’t ask me to explain further. 

Will there be art here?  Maybe eventually. I mean, I did buy an iPad and I'm still waiting for it. Alaska shipping is so slow. So, when it gets here and I start practicing maybe I'll be brave enough to post. 

Fanfiction List

To read the Yellow Rose of Sodor you can either go here or read it on here as I post (which will be slower, but hey, it'll all get here eventually)

The Yellow Rose of Sodor:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

The Yellow Rose of Sodor Shorts (coming soon)

[official-lauchzwiebel]

SPOILERS FOR THE FIRST TWO EPISODES OF GOOD OMENS SEASON 2.

Semi-coherent jumbled thoughts after watching the first two episodes:

----

The opening. This is what i saw on some bingo cards but that i certainly did not have on mine.

Crowley -- (or whatever his angel name was) he's so proud and joyful and --

Very immersed in his work and Azirphale is so adoring and glad to help

-the LOOK on his face when crowley called his creation beautiful. And how his smile fell when he realised what crowley was talking about.

The advice. The cut.

THE WING SHELTER PARALLEL.

i am losing it. God.

There is so much happening ngl

MAGGIE!! YOU GO GIRL!! (i feel you sweetheart.)

Jim's appearance. Work. Y'all better keep an eye on the flies.

Uriel's and Michael's passive aggressiveness. (Me from the sidelines: rip each other to shreds!)

HELLO!!! MURIEL!!! IN PLAID AND KILT! (foreshadowing much?)

GOOD OLD FASHIONED LOVER BOY. MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED. THANK YOU.

The argument the break up

The lightning bolt (same) the aur naur we're stuck together what do we do.

beelzebub's appearance - 'oh this old thing?'

Not sure how i feel about nina's partner. Excited to learn more about her.

THE FUCKING. APOLOGY DANCE. WHAT IN. I AM LOSING MY MIND I WAS SCREECHING THE HOUSE DOWN.

'Together'. I am Fine.

Work.

The cut from 'we did well' to alarms blaring in heaven. Comedy.

Job's minisode. I. The characterization. The details. The understanding. The joy. The lie(s). The tears. (My heart broke! Lol!) I might need a few business days to process that.

No words left i cannot form coherent sentences about this minisode and all it gave us yet. Bravo tho.

Everyday!!!! It's a getting closer!!!!

Jane austen? A woman of many talents it seems. Loved the inclusion of the first line of p&p (foreshadowing?).

Rain and canopy? Cotillon ball? Why not both? (Aka Pride and Prejudice 2005)

Aww poor maggie :( i get u girlie.

Yeahhh baby the wheelchair ramp!!

Aziraphale bestie. What a save. Good luck in your endeavour.

A Clue! Please feature a clue boardgame at least once. The references (red herring and the like) make so much more sense now. Excited to see how Private Detective Aziraphale (with unforeseen art skills) will deal with all this and investigate.

PLEASEEEEE THE CAR. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO CROWLEY PLEASE. OUR CAR. I AM GOING FERAL. DOES ANYBODY WANT ANYTHING.

Roadtrip to e. Next! I hope!

Lots of thoughts. Head full yet empty (just like jim). Time for sleep.

Until tomorrow! (SO excited!!)

[bluraydisco]

A bunch of news sites are reporting that Vince McMahon is selling to a Saudi private investment firm making more money than God, it returning back to a private company, Thusly offering more money and incentives to talent contracts amongst other things. This will also lead to a power grab by McMahon to take the reins of creative again.

If these rumors are true, this is possibly the reason why Stephanie McMahon resigned. I am certain that there will be mass layoffs coming soon for the wrestlers and creatives that Triple H hired back to the company. People that Vince doesn't see value in.

I'm also sure that Triple H, William Regal and the newly appointed head of continuity Rob Fee will see either their roles diminished or be let go all together as well.

It will also lead to an exodus of one of their most popular characters right now, Sami Zayn. (who is of Syrian descent).

It might also lead to their stacked women's roster being depleted and every lgbtq person within the company either being fired or let go.

Just note this is just speculation on my part due to the fact about how the Saudis treat women and homosexuals. However, thanks to a Twitter follower of mine (Alex Morrison) I understand the ins and outs of how these investment firms work. They own many soccer teams in the UK, including women's league, which are thriving financially and they are paying the players well. I thank Alex for his insight into these side of things.

I hope that this is just a private investment firm that won't have any influence on the company itself. But I, personally, highly doubt it.

It's strange that a company that was so "pro American" especially during the Hogan years with the "giant foreign heel" rising against America and "Hulkamania" will come to a deal with such a ruthless organization. Heck, they are so "USA" that they often fundraise for certain orange-tinted Buffoon's that claim to be for "America First".

Another odd thing, and a fact about Vincent Kennedy McMahon, is that he created the character of "The Million Dollar Man" to be a send-up. He was taking the piss out of rich people because he detested so much how they acted and flaunted their wealth and means. How money changes people's perspective through age and time is equally interesting and disturbing. " Greed is good", I guess.

In the end it's all about the dollars and it doesn't have to make sense. They've had pay-per-view events for the Saudi Prince for multiple years now. In a way I'm not really surprised that this is happening.

It's actually an interesting allegory to late stage capitalism and the rise of the extremist politics, in a way. Money talks and bullshit walks as long as an elderly, out of touch white man that holds all the cards is in control.

Also, this Billion Dollar Man and his corporation/conglomerate subduing all, if any, creative youth movement from within. It's a tale as Old as Time.

So far this is only a rumor. A very big rumor. WWE has not confirmed the sale. However I wouldn't be surprised if they did.

I am hoping for the best for Shawn Michaels, Triple H, Stephanie, Rob Fee , Bray Wyatt and the other big names that have returned during Vince's brief "retirement". Anyone affected by this news.

I hope that they would be able to, if they are all relieved of their duties, create their own promotion. A promotion that loves the business for what it is and even though money is good, the art form of pro wrestling will always be the central point.

I might reluctantly continue to watch WWE as long as Triple H is in charge of creative. But if it turns back to the cluster fuck it was during late stage McMahon, I'll just say: "Thank Christ for the AEW, Mexico, Japan AND the thriving Indy scene".

In the end, the Federation (or the "E" as they call it) will die when Vince McMahon does. Professional wrestling lives on. If worse comes to worse, there are alternatives out there. Subscribe to #iwtv to see the purest and most passionate form of professional wrestling

Okay I'm off my soapbox now.

[risingroseart]

I posted 37 times in 2022

24 posts created (65%)

13 posts reblogged (35%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@risingroseart

@southfarthing

@abyssanyon

@rainbowchibbit

@risingroseakira

I tagged 29 of my posts in 2022

Only 22% of my posts had no tags

#my art - 14 posts

#doodle - 12 posts

#digital art - 11 posts

#fanart - 10 posts

#risingroseart - 9 posts

#mcyt - 9 posts

#sketch - 8 posts

#critical role - 7 posts

#cr fanart - 6 posts

#critical role fanart - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 108 characters

#i know its a common choice bc tangos colors are warm so colder colorscheme is obv a good opposite to use but

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

You know when you have these jokes and shitposts that only you and one other person on the planet really understand?

Well I thought I would share this anyway! even though only @galaxy-minecart has the full context to this jfhgkfhg

So here's the first one. Some more Wither-Watcher Deity!Grian stuff (you can find a proper drawing of him here, since I gave up drawing him properly after my 5th redraw on this fucking meme shitpost) but he's been thrown into empires smp.

More context under the cut

[do not repost, edit, use or claim as your own] [Reblogs help the artist]

So its basically from a deity grian crossover with empires (i made this before he canonically visited the server LOL) coupled with the imo absolutely hysterical concept of Joel just refusing to believe in deities and demons and the like. I mean when Xornoth showed up, mans deadass went ''i do not see. i am looking away. Xornoth? never heard of them.'', so its probably the same with gods.

Anyway so deity!grian shows up on the server and bumps into joel and makes him his 'listener' (which does NOT mean the same thing as it does in canon watcher lore in the absolute slightest. listeners in my lore are basically followers of the watchers, and as far as i know canon listeners are against the watchers so kgkfhghg v different) but joel the small king refuses to believe (or at least admit to believe) that grian is a god so he acts like they're just ''allies''. nevermind the dread of feeling the very gaze of the universe itself befalling Joel whenever he does something Grian dislikes, no supernatural powers to be seen here, no gods in this town,,,

235 notes - Posted January 12, 2022

#4

[Please don’t repost, use, edit, NFT, claim as your own or otherwise steal.]

Hello!! I’m alive and well. 

I haven’t had much to post as most of my art has been unfinished and/or private worldbuilding stuff or figuring out people’s designs. However I have fallen into a deep critical role hyperfixation on campaign 3, Ashton’s design and Campaign 1 Percival (etc etc) de Rolo and his whitestone arc, so I’ve been doing a few doodles of some designs here and there - specifically for c3 since I’m still new to c1. This is the first proper colored one however, so yay! It’s Ashton in pretty much the same outfit Taliesin wore during Ashton’s introduction bc I haven’t been able to get that visual out of my head :] I love their laugh, whenever I hear it is when I can best visualize them in my head, it’s so distinctly their sound. Might be my now pfp, maybe! love them a lot. Also hi critters! I’m new in this corner of the internet! any fellow newbies out there? :> 

[Reblogs help the artist! Comments and tags are very much appreciated as well!]

249 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

#3

hi im rusty and not supposed to draw bc it has been a month and my hand has continuously hurt the whole time (which is also why there hasnt been any posts in a bit) but I had to do at least ONE doodle during the restream. I hope to make a "there's strength, but there's pain; There's pain, but there's strength." painting once im able but that might be a while

276 notes - Posted September 23, 2022

#2

[Please don’t repost, trace, use, edit, steal, NFT, claim as your own, or any of that stuff.]

hi fcg’s eyes are a struggle and im still working on his design but uhhh decided to draw my beloved he/they player character duo. also yes im aware ashton’s outfit looks different in their character art but i felt like playing around with it some more :v he’s so much fun to draw.

Reblogs help the artist! Tags and comments also keep me motivated

546 notes - Posted April 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Team Rancher has my whole entire heart

Hi, hello, I'm alive and I'm Totally Normal about these two.

Wanted to post this before I get so swept up in Empires Season 2 that I forget to put this here- I saw the scene where Tango was raging and Jimmy did his best to calm him down and stop him from doing something stupid and he said that quote and this. came to me in a vision, i immediately grabbed my tablet lol. Team Rancher brainrot is real, i love that these two got put together as soulmates. cant wait for next season when theyll probably burn down desert duo's incredibly flammable base [Reblogs and Comments help the artist and are very much appreciated!]

! Do not repost, edit, steal, NFT, claim as your own, and so on and so fourth !

1,228 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[psalmonesermons]

Unleashing Godly enthusiasm and zeal: A Guide for living with passion and purpose.

What is Biblical enthusiasm?

What things in life are you enthusiastic about? You might include family, friends, politics, sports, or hobbies such as cooking, art, gardening etc. etc.

So what is meant by the word enthusiasm?

Dictionary Definition: intense and eager enjoyment, interest, or approval:

Biblical Definition

NT Greek word for enthusiasm is entheos and is in two parts en=in theos=God

so entheos simply means ‘in God.’ It has the idea of being full of God i.e. full of his love.

Our love and everything we do in church and in our Christian life ought to be ‘in God.’

Romans 5:5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

God’s agape love is being poured into our hearts day by day and is the source of our enthusiasm or zeal for the Lord and our fellow Christians. It is God’s love in our hearts that helps us to grow through obedience to God's word into mature and stable believers for our ongoing service to the Lord. Our love for God is usually demonstrated in four main ways.

1. Praise (about God’s person and character)-not affected by our life events-Paul and Silas (Acts 16:25-28).

2. Thanksgiving (is about what God has done)- expressing our gratitude to God- always be ready and willing to give your testimony as to what God has and is doing in your life,

3. Worship (see FLS 07) - “worship” derives from the Old Eng. “weordhscipe” and means “worthship,” i.e. worthiness, dignity, or merit, the recognition accorded or due to these, the paying of homage or respect. In Christianity, the term is used for the reverent devotion, service, or honour paid to God, whether in public or private.

4. Obedience to his word (If you love me keep my commandments)- simply means what God has told us to do in the bible.

Biblical Enthusiasm

The Bible uses several different words for this idea of being filled with enthusiasm: ardour, zeal, whole-heartedness. A common favourite is “eager.” When you are eager, you are enthusiastic about your service to God and others.

This idea is taught repeatedly in the New Testament. We are told to:

Be “eager to serve” (1 Peter 5:2)

Be “eager for the gifts of the Spirit” (1 Corinthians 14:12)

Have an “eager willingness” to finish the work of faith we have begun (2 Corinthians 8:11)

Wait in “eager expectation” for God (Romans 8:9)

Be “eager to do what is good” (Titus 2:14).

What are you eager to do for God?

So we might expect our enthusiasm for all our secular activities ought to be less than our passion and enthusiasm for all things Christian and related to God. Is that true for you?

An interesting thing in my own life is that I find when I have various opportunities to do something for God, no matter my initial reaction to hearing about the opportunity if I find my enthusiasm growing then the Lord is calling me to get involved.

Amen

Personal prayer

[krystlind]

figuring out this game

the big questions I'm asking is, am I being delusional for hoping? for thinking I might just meet someone? or I'm supposed to be putting in the work? the whole notion of "supposed to" - because we make our own magic? or do we trust God has a plan? what if there's no supposed to? that's showing me that

I've been trying to figure out the game, the system, and how I'm supposed to be playing it, and if I just figure that out, it'll be more clear

like I can sense myself trying to figure out this partnership part. knowing that I want to be one of those "Gala-couples," H&M, and if I'm to be at that couple level (I can sense myself saying, then I have to get to that level to be *seen* by a person at that level, oh but I shouldn't be putting myself down like that, I must BELIEVE I am her, and then it'll attract it, or am I putting them on a pedestal and I should just be so proud of everything I am in this moment, but wait it's not bad to want to be that.. that being the Gala couple, the woman on a book or interior design magazine)

How much of this is possible or self delusion? I meet people like Clem's friend Darren, and I wonder how possible it is for me to get at this house level? It's not just about doing the work to get there, it's certain... leaps (mindset? things I'm focusing on/prioritizing now, fewer more powerful steps to get *there*) and there you go again, the "game" I'm talking about

It's like I'm trying to get to a *there* what does *there* look like? it looks like I am getting to spin ideas and make it happen and meet with cool, ambitious people about it. the closest feelings I got to that have been: Seth, Carlos, Harold, Sola, Darren, Erika, Margaret, Neeta, Lauren (her talking about her feature film in Carpenter's!), Sam & Rachel make things feel more "possible"... and then what comes out of that?

it's what you want it to be.. there is no secret formula being hidden. you just step out in faith and know God is catching you, making his will happen every step of the way. and that you are enjoying and loving every single person you meet. the hard part is that you don't have all the time. so you're constantly trying to squeeze the most juice out of every moment.

and the biggest reason for "figuring this game out" is because you can't waste any more time trying to "do" more to "get there" it's like you're aware of certain short cuts, like good ones, such as the right partnership, higher friendship, not doing lolly-gag traveling anymore, or friends that don't really return (like Lauren, Steph)

I can sense my desire to hide away and disappear into the grass and the garden, because something about this is so intense, I am totally capable but I am also looking for gentleness, art and intimacy, it feels possible around people like in Nick Gray's parties, and with those people possibilities are endless

it's like i have to admit very soon that something is not working

do I admit that to my audience? do i only admit that privately? why is it necessary to admit anything to an audience? that's never been a thing in past days. nowadays for your value or idea to be worth anything, it must be announced and affirmed by an audience.

what would you do without that? why is it all about saying and being heard? I guess Jesus did that. but did he start with that?

he started with his crew first... then he healed. let me study him.

something about the system is backwards.

something tells me we have to do it a counter culture way. and that could mean something very scary.. which means we won't see the fame or growth for a while..

are you willing.

are you willing to play a different game.

[jenwritesstories]

Secret Girlfriend

PAIRING: Bucky Barnes x female!reader

RATING: PG

TW: Friends spying, a little angst?

WORD COUNT: 1,783

SUMMARY: Steve thinks Bucky has been acting weird lately, and after asking him what's going on, he takes matters into his own hands and follows him.

Bucky Barnes was a private man. After the years of torture and brainwashing he's endured, he likes having his space, and rightfully so. While he was private, Steve liked to think that Bucky wasn't keeping any secrets from him. He understood Bucky not telling him every little thing, but he thought that they were close enough that Bucky would come to him if anything major happened.

That's why Steve was getting more and more concerned about his friend when Bucky was sneaking out of the tower in the middle of the night. He tried confronting him about it, but Bucky simply said that he would go for walks to help him sleep. Steve let it go for a while, but he started noticing a change in him.

He was on his phone all the time and he added a passcode, something that made Steve even more suspicious. He would also get calls frequently when him, Steve, and Sam would hang out and he would leave to answer it. He had cancelled plans on them randomly, saying something had come up.

Over time, the rest of the team started noticing as well. Natasha was quick to call him out on it, but Bucky played it off coolly, saying that they're overreacting and nothing's going on.

Steve had finally had enough and decided to follow him. Sam, Tony, Natasha, and Wanda tagged along too, curious as to what he's up to.

They followed him at a distance where they were sure he wouldn't notice. They had to be careful because Bucky is a trained assassin and would be able to catch them if they do something stupid.

When Bucky walked onto the NYU campus, they were all completely baffled.

"Is he taking night classes?" Wanda asked.

"I don't know, let's see which building he goes in." Steve muttered.

Bucky kept his head low as to not draw attention to himself as he entered the building where he disappeared to every night.

"That's a dorm building." Tony stated.

"What the hell is he doing here?" Steve asked, frustrated. "And why does he feel the need to hide it?"

"Mr. Stark?" The group turned around to see 19 year old Peter Parker approaching them. "What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah kid, everything's fine. We followed Barnes to see where he disappears to every night and he walked into a dorm building." Tony explained, patted Peter on the shoulder.

"He comes here?" Peter questioned.

"We're just as confused as you." Sam added, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Can I join? I wanna see why he comes here."

"I mean sure, but I don't know if we'll find anything out. We can't go into the building or we'll draw attention and we don't want that." Steve sighed.

"Well there's activities that dorms host. Sometimes there's trivia nights, art nights, book clubs, all kinds of things." Peter said, trying to come up with a plausible explanation.

"I mean, maybe he is doing something like that. He has said he wants to feel like a normal person again. I just don't know why-"

"Guys look." Natasha cut Steve off and nodded in the direction of the building Bucky disappeared into.

Bucky was exiting the building with a girl by his side, their fingers interlaced and a smile on both of their faces.

"Oh my god. Tinman has a girlfriend." Tony said, dumbfounded.

"That's y/n!" Peter added when he saw the girl. "She's super nice."

"How did he manage to get a girlfriend yet me and Cap are single?" Sam groaned.

"The real question is how did he meet a college student." Natasha said.

They watched the pair walk into one of the science buildings.

"What's in there?" Wanda asked Peter, hoping for some insight as to why they might go there.

"There's open labs there. Y/n goes there all the time to finish her labs or use the anatomy models to study." Peter said. "Come on."

He led the group into the building and there were more people there than they expected. Much to their surprise, nobody cared that half the Avengers were in front of them. They kept to their business and just gave polite smiles.

Peter continued down the building stopping a few feet outside the room y/n always goes to.

"This is her usual room. There's windows by the doors so don't get too close for too long."

The door was open halfway so their conversions could be heard. The group managed to get a spot where they could see what was happening without getting spotted.

"We started the cardiovascular system today." Y/n told Bucky as she grabbed one of the heart models and brought it to the lab table they were sitting at.

"Is that a good thing or bad thing?" He questioned, picking up the model and inspecting it.

She shrugged. "It's super interesting but there's a lot to it."

Bucky nodded. Y/n pulled out a labeled diagram of the heart and began finding the structures on the model.

"This is the right atrium and right ventricle." She told Bucky, pointing to each.

Bucky wasn't trying to learn anything, but y/n teaching him about it helped her learn better, so he happily sat there and listened.

"Are you tired, doll face? That's the left side." Bucky pointed out, making her laugh.

"Well yeah, but if you look at it as if it's in your body, it's they're on the right side." She explained, holding the model up in front of Bucky.

"Well that's stupid." He remarked, making her laugh again.

She stood up and made her way between his thighs, wrapping her arms around his neck. He smiled and placed his arms on her waist, pulling her closer.

"Thank you for always coming with me. I love having you here." She smiled.

"There's nowhere I rather be." He assured her and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Are you gonna stay the night?" She asked, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

Bucky nodded. "Course. But the team's getting suspicious of me. They know I leave at night."

She frowned. "Does that mean you have to stop seeing me?"

"No! Definitely not." He quickly assured her. "Just means that I'm gonna have to introduce you to them."

After the team heard his response they looked at each other and silently agreed that they should leave.

**** The next day ****

Bucky made his way back to the tower later than normal. He had showered and gotten ready at y/n's dorm so he went straight to the common room where everyone was.

"Hey Buck." Steve greeted his friend.

"Hey." Bucky replied, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

He sat down on the open seat before speaking up.

"So you guys get a good show last night?"

This made them stiffen.

"I don't know what you mean." Natasha said, not falling into his trap.

"I saw you." Bucky deadpanned. "You were right outside the room we were in."

Steve sighed. "I'm sorry. We were just worried. You've been acting strange and we wanted to make sure you were okay."

Bucky was silent for a few moments. "I wanted to wait until she was ready to meet everyone."

They gave him puzzled looks.

"We're the Avengers, for fucks sake. It can be intimidating to come here and meet everyone. Not to mention she's worried that I'm gonna think she's using me to be friends with you guys."

"Why would she think that?" Wanda asked.

"Because she knows me. Knows how I get into my own head. So she assured me there's absolutely no rush for me to bring her here or introduce you to her. That she's fine with what we have."

“I’m sorry Buck. I should’ve just trusted you.” Steve sighed, running a hand over his face. “I just worry about you sometimes. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

Bucky nodded. “It’s alright. I’m sure it did look suspicious.”

"You should invite her over for dinner. We'll be on our best behavior. At least that way you don't have to sneak around anymore. She can hang out here whenever she wants. If she's important to you, she's important to us." Steve suggested.

Bucky was quiet for a few moments before nodding. "Alright. I'll ask if she wants to come over tonight. Only if she's comfortable with it."

***

"Look she can get anxious so don't interrogate her. Don't ask about her family either." Bucky lectured as he paced back and forth in front of the rest of the team. Everyone was sitting in the common room as they waited for y/n to arrive.

"Chill out Barnes. We aren't going to scare her away." Natasha laughed.

As Bucky was about to tell Natasha to piss off, his phone buzzed. "She's here." He breathed out before heading down to the lobby to get her.

A few minutes later he reentered with the girl they saw the previous night.

Once they were stood in front of everyone Bucky began the introductions.

"Y/n, this is Steve, Sam, Natasha, Wanda, Tony, Peter, Vision, and Clint. Guys this is y/n."

"It's really nice to meet you guys! I'm a big fan." Y/n beamed, a wide smile adorning her face.

"It's nice to meet you too. We had no idea Barnes had a girlfriend." Tony said, making her laugh.

"Yeah, he's a private person."

It didn't take long for the group to start asking her questions, all of which she happily answered. Wanda quickly took a liking to y/n. She was thrilled to have another girl around (aside from Natasha, but she never wanted to do girly things with her).

Wanda grabbed her hand and dragged her to sit on the floor in front of couch and Wanda sat behind her and started playing with her while begging y/n to spill all the details about how her and Bucky met.

Peter, Clint and Tony sat down near them to hear her answers while the others stayed a little ways back.

"Look Buck, I'm really sorry about following you. I shouldn't have done it and just trusted you. I guess I was just afraid of losing you again and assumed to worst. But I'm happy for you, she seems great." Steve told his friend with nothing with sincerity in his voice.

"Yeah man. I'm sorry too." Sam chimed in. "We had no idea what was happening. You've never acted like that before so we assumed the worst, like he said. But I'm happy for you too. Y/n's a keeper."

Bucky accepted their apologizes with a nod before looking over at y/n and smiling. "Yeah, she's definitely a keeper."

[iraprince]

If you're sorta making this into a vtuber account i might as well ask you, with those pngtuber models, do you have a guide on how to get started with them? Also, do characters need to have humanlike face proportions to be able to like, work correctly? What if you wanted to make a bird, where the mouth is like really long and beak shaped? Would that be a problem for the honk stuff?

God this looks incomprehensible, sorry

not incomprehensible at all! whenever i get a chance i would definitely love to put together tutorials, both quick step-by-step guides and longer videos (bc idk about you but for me, the ideal is when BOTH types of tutorial exist lmao!!!)

in the meantime, there are tons of tutorials that already exist on youtube for pngtubing, and a few for setting up in honk specifically, but i'm not sure how many exist for best ways to actually draw the model and organize parts (layer organization etc) and stuff like that bc i didn't look for those when i was getting started. when i get around to it any guides i make will probably be more about that than the tech stuff, bc other people already have the tech covered!

honk has documentation/guides of its own, and the community page on itch.io can be really good for troubleshooting specific issues. honk is my primary recommendation if you want to get into pngtubing -- the program is paid ($12 USD) and model setup is a bit more laborious, but only in the beginning, and i think the liveliness of the lip sync and the eye tracking is well worth it! a downside is that honk doesn't currently have gif support, which a lot of other pngtubing programs do have, but there are plans to add it in the future.

this is the method i've used for setting up a discord reactive pngtuber (the second method on the page, "stream kit reactive images" - i know it may seem like a lot of steps, but if you take your time and follow the instructions closely it's not so bad! i am NOT tech savvy and still figured it out, so anyone can.) you only need discord and OBS to run this setup, and you can fiddle with it to do collabs (multiple people's pngtubers all on screen at the same time, lighting up and talking while you're in a discord call! fun for multiplayer games), but of course it can also be your main setup with just you alone in a private voice channel as your mic input.

and a good middle ground between honk and the discord reactive setup would be a program like veadotube mini! it does the same thing as the discord reactive setup (display a talk sprite when you're talking and a silent one when you're not), but in a self-contained program on your computer just like honk. i haven't used veadotube myself, but i see other pngtubers mention it as their program of choice.

i do have one video up of myself rigging my model in honk -- i wouldn't call it a guide or a tutorial though, because it's very informal and we also ran into a pretty annoying bug that made the process go less smoothly than i would have hoped :') (also the first few mins of video are muted bc my music got dmca flagged lmfao but the important stuff is all there!) but anyway if you just want a quick look at how a model looks getting put together in the program you might find that interesting.

you could ABSOLUTELY do something like the bird u described in honk, it's really really flexible. the way honk works is u just have to have different images drawn for different lip synch mouth shapes (try googling "animation lip sync mouth shapes" and check out the image results for an idea of what i mean), assign them to different consonant/vowel sounds in the program, and it automatically matches it up for you with voice recognition. so imo the challenge in that case would be an art challenge (figure out how you want to draw lip sync shapes with a beak), not a technical/program-specific challenge. but if you didn't feel like fucking with all that, you could just repeatedly use the same open beak image for all the sounds, and it would just make the beak open and close when you talk!

i haven't tried making a honk model where the mouth breaks the silhouette, which might be the case with a bird character like that depending on how you have the head angled, but theoretically i don't see why it would be an issue. a regular pngtuber would be really straightforward as well!

[beann-e]

Haikyuu! Characters reacting to their s/o Fighting for them

Also i’m taking request !! go put something in the box :4

Tendou

he would enjoy it so much like he’d have a full on conversation while your doing it. He’d even start hyping you up In the back because he knows that’s all it takes to fuel your fire.

Only for you to find out the person who was hitting on him wasn’t talking about him but was talking about another guy and tendou only made it seem like they were so he could piss you off because he finds it so hot when your upset

Your eyes went pointed to the scene in front of you when you walked down from the bleachers. Feet heavy on the ground as you tried to contain your anger.

How did this chick get down here faster than you and why the hell was she talking to your boyfriend once again faster than you ?

You steps slowed as you walked up to them hoping to hear a little bit of the conversation “ yeah I thought it was really hot and I just wanted to say wow up close and personal y’know “

Your eyes widened hot ?

what the hell did she think was hot ?

“ I was uh I was up in the stands and I was honestly a little bit intimidated to come down here and talk to anyone actually —in the first place “ she laughed clutching her bag a little tighter when your boyfriend licked his lips before his teeth came down to nibble on his bottom one lightly, eyes feigning innocence as he listened to her “ especially you so this is like a big milestone for me “

you watched as your boyfriend smiled softly “ yeah I get it — really i’d be the exact same way with a crush I wouldn’t know how to act or even how to talk to them i’ve actually been there before so “

good good you thought praising tendou in your head at the fact that he was trying to slowly bring up the fact that he had a s/o. clapping for him in your head for trying to let the girl in front of him down easily

your body darting to hide behind a group of teenagers when you saw your boyfriends eyes lift up from the girl and look around as if he was checking for someone he must have been wondering where you were. breathing out a sigh of relief that he turned to look over your way too slowly only missing you by a second

“ oh really I assumed that— “

“ no no your good i’m not saying it in that way “

your face dropped ‘in what way ? ‘

“ I understand the fear of talking to your crush but trust me “ he nodded his head towards the girl In front him before he took a sip of water and smiled down on her “ you’ve got no reason to be nervous i’m right her—“

“ hi “ you waved steps quick on the floor beneath you and voice loud to show your presence “ yes y— yes you do “ you laughed reaching your hand out to shake the girls own in front of you

“ i’m y/n — the s/o— of 3 years —is there ? is there anything wrong did something happen to where he needed an emergency check up or something ? “

the sarcasm in your voice making your boyfriend smirk to himself at the way you just jumped into the situation all to protect your relationship it made him feel secure, happy even

it made him in a way feel greedy

your head coming up to look at tendou as you snaked an arm around his waist like he’d done to you in similar situations. Your other one moving to place itself on his chest “ babe are you ok ? are you hurt ? how badly to call a stranger over here ? “

“ baby no nothing like that she just wanted to congratulate me“ he locked eyes with you the slight smirk he still wore ignored by you due to anger at the drama unfolding before you and his next statement. His words coming out soft and sweet though they were meant to encourage his evil agenda “ before you “

“i’m sorry I wasn’t down here to congratulate him on his win so he must have looked lonely “

you shook your head in sadness at the girl “ and open but “ you smiled “ no he’s not—I understand the confusion you must be going through right now but its just miscommunication from your classmates—which leads me to wonder—please tell me what’s your name ? i’ve never seen you before and I bet your not aware of who I am either so introductions could help both of us out here “

“ oh uh i’m niccolo” the girl shook her head softly and wearily as you pulled back quickly

“ mm niccolo— niccolo “ you spoke rubbing the same hand youd just shook niccolos with down your shirt causing your boyfriend to smile to himself and his eyebrows to raise at all the knowing looks from his teammates about the shit storm he’d just put into motion as he planted a small innocent kiss to your forehead while winking to his teammates behind you

“ never heard of it you must be a first year ? “ your boyfriends head shook slightly as he looked to the floor thinking about how that might have been a little bit rude considering she was just a young girl maybe 16 at most.

His mind rolling with thoughts of maybe cutting the game he was playing short because of her age only for him to side eye you and take a sip from his water bottle again ‘ nah they’ve got it ‘

“ oh y-yes i’m new here—i’ve taken the phrase first year a bit too literal “ she joked smile seeming to be forced her hands twitching in nervousness

“ mm — I never would’ve thought “ you spoke sarcastically. Almost every first year knew not to talk to tendou after a game not unless you were down there already.

The both of you had established that as soon as the game is over your the only person who gets to say congratulations to him first since he explained that it means more to him to know that you’ll always be there no matter what he does

no matter if he wins or loses he’ll get to walk off that court and the first thing he sees is the person he loves most with their hands out waiting for a hug. he’s told you that in the moment he wants to feel like your the only one watching because it’s a private game played for you because he believes your so lucky to get to see your smoking hot boyfriend do blocks.

“ oh thank you no ones ever told me that I look older before may I ask why you thin— “

“ because your dum— “

“ haha um “ tendou stretched before speaking again “ because your just really pretty for a first year “ your body went rigid you almost felt like you couldn’t feel anything not even the heat that was radiating off your body

“ aw thank you so much that means a lot y/n was it? “ she smiled genuinely before laughing “ tendous so nice i’m really glad I came down here first before y’know all the fangirls came down “

she shook her head “ y’know I actually got scared because I thought you were one — I was like ahhhh here comes one of those scary stalker girls “ she laughed “ tendou was telling me not to be afraid since he knew you but I was telling him to be careful when talking to people like you —- once again I thought you were a fan girl so I mean you can’t blame me right?”

Yeah she was screwed this had went too far he was too late

“ y/n “ his voice was warning but you waved him off listening to the girl in front of you her voice sounding so confident and honest believing in everything she was saying. Voice pouring through and mouth still moving almost as if she had no filter

she looked to her feet “I doubt any of them would even have a chance with tendou though because— “

your body roared as she explained her reasoning.

You were only feeling this angry at her words because not only did she call you a tendou fangirl but she explained that even if you were one you would have no chance with him even though that’s actually how you two started dating.

Then for her to turn around and rub it in your face how she got downstairs before you oh god you were gonna have a field day with this little twerp if you didn’t find a way to put her in her place respectfully

“ hey um tendou do you think me and my fellow fan girl here can have some alone time just a small chat “

“ oh wow i’ve never had one of those before “ she smiled as tendou stood still wondering if he’d done the right thing by encouraging all of this or if he should just drop it or maybe even sit down and enjoy it

looking down at you cautiously a slight smirk on his face thinking about your face when he would get the chance to you the truth of the situation but only for it to drop as the girl across from him stole his attention away from you causing him to perk up a bit honestly surprised that she spoke again

Was she suicidal or ?

“ I think he may not be leaving because he isn’t comfortable with you yet—he told me earlier that we could be best friends so , he may listen to me more “ she smiled “ tendou I wanna talk to um —y/n so could you maybe give us some time alone —“ her smiling wider almost as if happy to call him her friend —before speaking “ I wanted to help you out “

‘ holy shit she’s testing my patience’

tendous loud laugh ripped through the gym as he grabbed goshiki and turned the both of them around to walk off words heavy and holding meaning “ yeah I know em’ —I know em’ real well physically and mentally trust me your going to have a bestie number two soon enough “

you watched as your boyfriend went to sit on the bench talking softly with goshiki as he put his hands in his pants pockets not paying attention to you two anymore

“ so wha— “

“ look “ you smiled “ i’m gonna be real sweet about this so we can tie this up in a neat little bow “ you pointed towards tendou

“ ‘m not a fan anymore he’s my boyfriend — we’ve been dating for 3 years now ever since we were first years. I met him through a fan club because he saw the art I drew for their game posters and enjoyed it. I told him I liked how passionate he was about something and how he had his own thing and did it in his own unique way that worked for him and then boom we ended up getting closer—closer then need be sometimes “

you sighed as you moved to close the conversation out “ look just please — I understand your a first year you may not know and that’s ok but ; me and my boyfriend like for me to be the first one who gives him a congratulations at the end of a match he never talks to anyone except his team until I do it — he says it’s like reassurance tht he’s doing good he’s had some stuff happen in the past that just — he needs praise and reminders that he’s doing good with his sport and I supply that he doesn’t want it from anyone else and I don’t want anyone else to give it “

you looked to the girl with sympathy in your eyes hoping you didn’t hurt her feelings she really was just a young kid “ it’s ok to have a crush I had one we all do at a point in our lives but right now your hitting on someone in a secure relationship ok ? start asking first please just to be safe in your future years “

her eyes went wide as she moved to speak “ mm I guess I was wrong “

you shook your head “ wrong ? excuse me for not understanding but wrong how“

“ I uh I assumed you weren’t one of those fan girls and I was wrong I did not mean to get in between your weird obsession just please do not harm him or anything like you guys tend to do “

your body blazed eyes lit up in a hard stare at everyone who now turned to face you hearing the girls loud words

“ again with the fan shit “

“ that is what you guys are called I will not call you his s/o if he does not know you “

“ HES MY BOYFRIEND YOU ASSHOLE “

“ wh— “

“ I tried to be nice to you but your not accepting it it’s like you want me to scream at you “

“ yeah babe she totally does “ tendous smile spreading slowly across his face at the way your hips moved to work with your mouth in showing off your evident pissed off mood

“ I know “ you screamed “ she just wants to make this harder for me “

“ duh “ his tongue coming out to swipe across his bottom lip eyes falling down to your hands that were clenched so tightly in anger waving around widely your pissed off expression sending heat traveling across his body

“ you have a child’s crush on him and I keep telling you I don’t mind but I explained to you to just be respectful and then you go and disrespect me again“

“ they are very lenient when it comes to crushes on me “

“ thank you baby —I try not to be rude because I myself was once a fan in a club for the team so trust me I understand but everyone is usually respectful I don’t understand how you “

“ she’s just a first year babe you have to explain it to her more “ he smiled thinking up a new way to see how far you would go for him “ like in depth “

“ I DID “

“ no baby you gotta get rough with her “

you turned with your eyebrows furrowed “ like fight “

he smirked at you body shaking at the way you whimpered out the words but moved to put your hair up anyways yet, again putting him first and your cloudy anger ridden mind second

god you were so hot whenever you showed everyone you’d do anything for him “ fuck — yeah baby your doing the right thing —don’t think about it too much “

you shook your head softly as you battled through it in your head tendou always knew how to get a rise out of you and how to make you do what he wanted you to more so for fun.

It didn’t take much for you to listen to him especially when you couldn’t think clearly because he was the only person there who cared for you and anything he did you knew would only be for his own entertainment purposes he’d never have you do anything bad or that put your safety at risk.

when you were angry —and had someone hyping you up and adding fuel onto the fire it was only 10x worse and tendou knew this

“ here y/n baby—let’s take this outside I don’t want you to get hurt by fighting in here come on you can do it out there “

“ tendou you asshole quit encouraging this shit“ semi whispered

“ I do not understand what is going on —i find myself with a loss of knowledge in this situation but I do feel as though tendou is in the wrong it is only a gut feeling “

the girl in front of you trembled at ushijimas voice—before looking to goshiki who held wide eyes as he waved to the girl hesitantly her eyes darting away and back to him eyebrows coming together as she looked around the gym embarrassed “ but he — he didn’t say anything about you—I didn’t know he didnt tell me “

“ wh—what babe — liar I call liar she’s lying baby — pleas— ow “

your head finally clearing up as you listened to his team talk about how much of a prick he was you reaching out and grabbing the top of his ear and bringing it down to your height while he screamed out in pain “ BECAUSE HES AN ASSHOLE “

“ hey baby I’m sorry i’m sorry but that’s — thats “ his hair went down to cover his face as he looked at you “ thats not cool “

“ I — I didn’t know “

“ but I told you twice “

“ and I — I haven’t had the best experienc— “ her bottom lip trembled before she took off crying when she met the young boys eyes behind her.

Goshiki shaking softly eyes lit up in confusion before he shook his head and pulled himself away from the embarrassing situation to run after her your boyfriend moving to wrap his arms around your waist from the back “ your so hot “

“ but I “

“ you were wrong though so I see looks don’t always pair up with smarts “

“ huh “

“ she wasn’t hitting on me “

“ but she “

“ she has a crush on goshiki this is her first time attending a volley’ game and she accidentally came down the wrong way so it landed her down here faster than everyone else”

your body stiffened “ she only ended up talking to me because I was going into the hallway towards the locker rooms when she for some reason was coming down the opposite way crying to me about how she was lost “

“ then you — you two were talking abo— “

“ she’s a bit fragile —- and she was explaining it and I saw how we were the same because she’s had a hard past too so she’s a bit wary around others—and hates confrontation due to drama at ‘er old school and she doesn’t know much of the people here because she’s a first year also she doesn’t talk much which kinda threw me off when she started having full conversations with you and trying her best to connect with you“ he shrugged “ must’ve thought you were cool —wanted to be your friend or some shit”

he smiled proudly at the fact that you could make people other than himself feel that comfortable around you him peppering kisses all around your face “ she was telling me how she thought goshiki was hot and when I brought up that I was his amazingly beautiful senpai she just wanted me to introduce her to him — she said she’s afraid of people and fangirls because she hasn’t had the best experiences with them she explained one time in middle school she got a bento box thrown at her because a guy from the volleyball team said hi to her “

your body immediately dropped “ you knew her whole life story and then some and let me embarrass myself “

“ well honestly you both did you just a bit more than her “

oikawa

he would praise you so much the whole time. He has fangirls and he loves when you show him why your more important than them. he loves for you to stop him and put them in their place while showing him his own.

He knows it’s not right to flirt with other girls but the excitement and pure happiness he gets when he watches you fight for him with such passion similar to his own for volley he loves it

“ oikawa ~~” A small voice called out before tucking a strand of hair behind their ear “ can we maybe get some photos ? “

holy shit it’s like everyday at this point

“ baby can I ? “

“ just go “ his eyes darted to the group before he looked back at you “ really —swear i’ll be right behind you pretty boy “

He smiled before running off to the group grabbing the pen someone held out for him and writing all over the billions of notepads girls waved in front of his face.

You knew it looked wrong for him to have a s/o and still entertain other girls or guys for that matter but, you knew oikawa. You knew exactly how he felt about them it wasn’t that he was interested or liked them it was that he liked their comments

he liked the attention.

He was someone who needed constant praise to feel like he was doing his best. Hearing all the cheers , all of the shouts of his name, seeing the signs and people that would come to games specifically for him only made him feel like he was human like he was real and talented—appreciated

You would never take that away from him you could never, when you two started dating you explained to him you knew how important his fans were to him and as long as he kept a certain line that couldn’t be crossed— that he would always come back to you. Everything would be ok.

You slowly walked up behind him leaving space for people to have a hard time differentiating if you were apart of the crowd or with him but you were still close enough to hear the whispers of how hot he was and honestly he was.

He had the muscles—the beautifully glowing skin that others around you two dreamed of and to put a topping on the cake he was still sporting his ruffled hair from his earlier game. He was your dream man and you were lucky to even be able to stare at him behind closed doors or at least that’s what he told you whenever you walked into his room.

“ oikawa-san “

“hmm “ he spoke staring down on the girl that reached out to grab his arm as he was turning to leave

“ could I talk to you please “

his eyes darted to find yours locking on them when he finally found them. His mouth now moving to mouth a question as you shook your head lightly you’d give him five more minutes he deserved it and you wanted him to feel like he’d done a good job at his game today ,which he really did do, him only going back to the girl in front of you two

“ oh well I really wanna — i’m supposed to —“ he sighed out before he collected himself “ I want to take my s/o home before it gets too late I don’t want them walking alone at night “

“ oh s/o “ her voice dropped as he shook his head up and down “ correct of 2 years “

“ oh my um congratulations— to many more to many more with many more “ she rushed out quickly reaching in her backpack

“ thank you our anniver— “

“ could we get a picture “

he sighed before his smile spread only growing into a fake one lips going tight on his face “ yes of course just one i’d like to get on the ro— “

His breathing stopped as he felt the girl next to him lay her lips on his. The click of the camera making his eyes go wide as he shook. Oikawa to most wasnt one who was as submissive as he was with you. He was a bit more ‘ manly ‘ to other people but around you he always fell into submission especially when he knew he fucked up

His eyes slowly moved to find yours that flaming as you stared down the girl in front of him . You leaning against the wall only making him feel a shiver move down his spine.

Had he fucked up that badly that you weren’t even moving.

He kept looking between you and the girl in front of him eyes trying to convey his thoughts as they screamed

‘ look y/n she’s still talking to me — at this point she’s fucking with me not the other way around ‘

His mind went blank as you walked over your face made up into a stoic one voice coming out monotoned devoid of annoyance or any feeling at all “ your lips must be magnets or some shit“

“ excuse me “

“ oh no it’s just that Insee you’ve put your lips on my boyfriend“ your eyes creased at the girl before looking up and down in curiosity “ so I was just wondering if your big mouth was hiding a magnet or something — anything really to explain why you would put your dirty ass mouth on my rather pristine boyfriend “

Pristine ? his body went upright standing a bit taller ‘ hell yeah i’m pristine keep em coming babe ‘

“ are you not going to apologize ? “

“ I uh “ her eyes went up into sadness and fear as the courage that once swirled through her left upon seeing your emotionless stare. She’d just kissed your boyfriend and you looked like you were walking dogs or doing an everyday house chore “ i’m sor—sorry “

“ oh not to me “ you let out a small head nod over to oikawa “ I meant him “

“ oh oh um yes “ she coughed before she made eye contact with oikawa whos eyes were creasing as he stared down on the frail girl before him

“ i’m sorry “

“ no go on take your time “

“ i apologize that “

“ really I know it’s hard to apologize to someone as pristine as me“ your boyfriend moved to nudge you softly “ isn’t that right y/n“ he spoke as he tried and failed to wink down at you

“ uh yeah babe um “ you shook your head as your eyebrows furrowed before you returned to your earlier self “ wait what oikawa stop playing and fix this shit “

“ oh uh “ he straightened himself up at your words “ what were you suppose to be saying again “

“ oh I just wanted to um “ she turned to make eye contact with you before jumping a bit and turning away squeaking out her words “ i’m sorry for hitting on you knowing that you had a s/o “

“ oh ok that’s it? ” his body sulked as he looked to the floor

“ that’s it ? — you don’t care that she hit on you asshole“ you slapping his arm harshly before he whimpered at the contact

“ what’s wrong baby “ your hand came up to rub his back and arm while he pouted turning away from the both of you

“ I just wanted her to she was sorry “

“ ‘kawa she did we can go home now “

“ no she didn’t say it the way I wanted her to “

your hands fell from him as you let out a huff of air before turning to the girl in front of you and moving to whisper in her ear as she sat confused unmoving In her spot before smiling softly and speaking uncomfortably and regretting her decision to ask the male out

“ oikawa “ she coughed his eyes looking over at her while still holding up his dramatic show “ I just wanted to say i’m sorry for hitting on your s/o’s “

Her eyebrows furrowed before she looked to you who was mouthing the words and shaking her head in an ok motion “ pretty boy —“ he perked up at the words “I will never hit on someone of your elegantly pure , flawlessly clean , stature ever again “

Yes he made her embarrass herself by asking for more kind uplifting words more so to make himself feel better than for you. All the while he enjoyed the praise he received from not only the person he loved but the person he didn’t.

[slitherbop]

.......Any papastuck hcs?

THANK YOU for giving me an excuse to publicly ramble about PAPA G AND CHUCK beware of Spoilers within ALSO HERE’S A PIC happy valentines day

When they met and Chuck was still Stuck in the floor, like Post-Chicken-Feed-Missing-Scene, Chuck would be RUDE as HELL to Papa G. But Papa G took it as realizing he’s just A Guy and was like AH MAYBE I SHOULDA BEEN GIVIN HIM REAL FOOD and then he does that, but Chuck is still a bastard to him. Not to The Kid’s knowledge tho, he only found out that Papa G knew about Chuck’s existence in the second episode like we saw.

Papa G literally just looked at Chuck and how Evil he was being at the beginning and was like OH YES WE CAN BE FRIENDS I LIKE THIS GUY cuz he DID save him and want him to be redeemed and have the last ring to be on the team... Papa G’s Immediate Trust.. like if u agree

I like to imagine that Papa G actually did have da iced tea with Chuck to get to know him :] this was Post-Chuck-getting-Cut-in-Half. Papa G is Very Curious about Chuck but Chuck’s still a rude little man at this point and Papa G laughs off his behaviour. Papa G might be f*cked up enough that he does enjoy his company, bad vibes and all

Chuck has NO idea what to make of Papa G here because no one else has ever shown him kindness or wasn’t annoyed at him. It doesn’t stop him from being a force of negativity though cuz at this point he still Believes he’s going to conquer the earth.

This ended up being like a timeline of their relationship and not relationship headcanon UUHH OOPS!!!!!

OK, Chuck actually likes that he calls him Charles it’s the special name :]

I’m prepared to be proven wrong but it would be epic if Chuck started calling Papa G “George” because he was there to hear that that is his first name and Papa G like with Tuna Sandwich doesn’t mind being called it, it’s just his name. Also George is my real name and I’d love to hear Chuck say. Also Also George and Charles are gay old man names

Uh oh I’m talking more about timeline stuff but some time after the events of the big showdown and they’re dealing with the fact that Chuck is deciding to stay here on earth, Papa G and The Kid make him his own living space there in the junkyard with them. Not sure where or what it’d look like but it means a lot to Chuck (makes this face -> 🥺) I’d imagine since his species aren’t given their own names / have individuality he wasn’t given a space of his own to do whatever he wanted with

Since they no longer have the rings, Chuck helps Papa G as an extra hand doing work in the yard (Papa G had to get used to doing stuff without being his own company :[ ) and Chuck ACTUALLY LOVES HELPING imagine that one scene where Papa G and Chuck are working together to build the ice cream megaphone truck, they’re both really skilled at building stuff and enjoy it so it’s like that pretty often!

I swear to god Papa G needs to get Chuck a wheelchair / make him one, I want to believe that he does have one and we just didn’t see it at the end of the time skip -_- :prayer: but they totally deck it the hell out (you KNOW Papa G is capable of making deadly death machines and you KNOW Chuck would absolutely love that sh*t!!!!)

Anyway back to the time skip relationship development thing: PAPA G SHOWS CHUCK AROUND HIS HOUSE I wish we knew what inside the house looked like besides the kitchen sink lol but Papa G figured if he’s gonna be around here more often he might as well show him where HE lives! Papa G is SUPER excitedly showing him all the weird stuff he’s accumulated over his lifetime. Chuck doesn’t Get the specialness of physical possessions and calls it Junk but Papa G doesn’t mind! He shows things and Chuck is confused about certain things (being an Alien) and Papa G is happy to explain everything to him.

Papa G shares Chuck his art and is showing him painting ;_; once again Chuck is a bastard and doesn’t totally get it. Papa G would definitely call HIM an artist, pointing out that all the building that Chuck does is artwork, those comics that he spent all that time reading was him appreciating the art, and that changes the way he views it. Chuck makes his own dam comics, I’d imagine the way he’d draw is very unique and the text is written in his language, and then it’s Papa G who doesn’t totally get it but is ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT IT!!!

Also Papa G totally takes Chuck out to the middle of nowhere to go look for junk, this is probably Chuck’s Least Favourite Activity LOL but they do spend a lot of time talking about anything, I’m really curious about what the kind of things they’d even say when they’re not faced with any threat and are only with each other *looks up at the sky in thought..*

Chuck please go off about your previous life away from earth I feel like as soon as he came here he kinda just accepted himself being Stuck Chuck and therefore had no attachment to being a nameless body in an alien army. Also Papa G please open up about your messed up secret history that warranted the government keeping tabs on you and made you live almost completely isolated.

See^ I think whatever they got going on on a DEEP LEVEL could be wild and would have so much to unravel, Chuck’s life before this was probably just 90% seeing various people DIE and was simply made to Kill people for his leader. And. you KNOW Papa G has something Messed Up about him + Is Traumatized / got “bad flashbacks” + the whole seeing himself die and being numb to it. And now that they are people who are trying to save lives on their team they could Relate to each other as the two older guys with UNKNOWN HISTORY!!!!

UUUUH OK SO SHIP HEADCANONS RIGHT. RIGHT. They hold hands :] they rarely kiss it’s mostly Papa G who kisses Chuck on the face but Chuck is forbidden from kissing unless Papa G wants to go to sleep. Also Chuck likes to be held by Papa G, they hug a lot :D Papa G takes Chuck out to the diner and gets him everything he wants <3 they go to the house and watch movies and Kid joins them too as a family ;_; Papa G goes to sleep in his god forsaken hammock with Chuck, and Chuck is like So This Is Your Weird-Ass Cocoon Huh and Papa G is like HAHA YUP and its sweet.

I’m gonna end this here thank you for reading, this is the kinda stuff I ramble on and on like this in private but I hope u enjoy some of my thoughts about this I think it’s a genius ship with so much potential and is my favourite thing right now THANKS

[a-supernatural-writer]

hcs for poly! tlb with a fem! s/o who’s style is dark academia and is really blunt/logical and smart. she basically gives off a ‘mysterious, quiet, dark, critical’ vibe (she also doesn’t really know how to handle people who are extremely emotional and she doesn’t know how to soothe someone. she’s just really oblivious/clueless when it comes to others feelings). i’m so sorry if what i requested doesn’t make sense or if it was too much. i am seriously incapable of writing anything without making it look like an essay lmao. love your work btw 💕✨

Dark Academia Fem! S/O 

Poly Lost Boys x Fem reader

I had so much fun writing this! I love the dark academia aesthetic! And it made perfect sense and it wasn’t too much! Having a lot actually helps me expand and write more so thank you. And I’m the same, once I have an idea, I write a lot, so you’re all good! And awww!!! Thank you!!! 💗💗✨✨ I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy!

Okay, so you are very different compared to the large number of characters on the boardwalk. Your style consisted of button shirts, sweaters or turtle necks, dress pants or a plaid pleated skirts, cardigans or waistcoats, oxford shoes or even wire framed glasses if you wore them for seeing or just for the look. 

To say that you caught the boys attention would be an understatement. You seemed to stand out amongst the crowd and they became curious. You were a mystery to them and they love the challenge. 

Somehow, someway, after days or weeks later, you became good friends which soon lead to you dating four trouble making punks. It was tough on both parts, but it happened, and hey, you weren’t complaining. 

You were very blunt when you first met them, not really interested in them and more or less interested in the book in your hands. It took a lot of “accidental” run ins to even get you to hang out with them. 

You slowly opened up when they offered to take you out for dinner at a local diner. They’re constant joking soon had you letting out small, almost whisper-like giggles and tiny smiles that sent them into a frenzy. 

When you would start talking about yourself, your ideas of fun were different from theirs. You liked museums, opera houses, bookstores and going to theaters to see plays. The games you played were chess and cards, and the music you listened to was old. You were pretty sure they thought you were boring but you actually peaked their interest. 

After a while of being friends with them, they asked you out. You liked them and the only logical step was to see if you liked them the same way they liked you was to date them, so you said yes. 

In general, them having a girlfriend with a 1940s/1950s dark prep look was fun. David and Dwayne like it the most. Paul next, then Marko. 

David actually really likes picking out your clothing on most days. You have an extensive collection of clothing with material from cashmere to linen, all the colors consisting of browns, black, cream and even a little dark green. 

His favorite thing to put you in is trench coats. Doesn’t matter what color it is, he just likes seeing you in them. Also, there are a handful of times that he has MADE you wear his trench coat. Yeah it almost swimmed on you, but he thought it made you look cute and it fit in perfectly with your look. 

Dark academia isn’t only your style, but it’s your way of life. David is the one that plays chess with you. You had to reteach it to him and pretty soon, the two of you had your own little set up in the cave that was always ready for a game of chess. 

David is sort of like you… in a way when it comes to others feelings. But deep down he knows that he really likes you and tries to show it the best he can. He took you to a theater to see a play that you were constantly talking about and so he took you on a date. You being you, didn’t realize that’s what it was until he told it straight to your face. Let’s just say you were speechless for the next hour. 

Also, when it’s just the two of you, deep inside the cave where your nest is, classical music is playing from your record player. It could be Beethoven, Tchaikovsky or Mozart. Whoever it is, David is the one that will listen to it with you the most. I think he really enjoys classical music and he enjoys it even more if the two of you are cuddling in your bed. 

Occasionally Dwayne would join the two of you. You would be sitting in between David’s legs as Dwayne sat in between yours, his head leaning back against your chest. It was like a cuddle pile… cuddle train?? Whatever you wanted to call it, it was cuddling while the three of you relaxed listening to classical music. And it was darn cute. 

Dwayne loves listening to you go on and on about any books you were reading at the moment. Whether or not it was nonfiction or even about any type of history. He was down. He lived through a lot and he knew about half of the stuff you gushed on about, but for some odd reason, it never bored him when you talked about it. 

He would be the one to get you new books, leaving you sweet little notes tied to them. Of course you thought it was just him being nice and thanked him for it without thinking there was any romantic meaning behind it. Yeah he was one of your boyfriends but it never really crossed your mind that way. He would just shake his head at your obliviousness and give you a small peck on the lips. 

Don’t ask him why, but his favorite look on you is a light cream colored blouse with a plaid skirt and Mary Jane shoes. Dwayne is a leg man so… he’s very happy when decide to show off some skin if you decide not to wear knee-socks or stockings with it. Even if you did wear them, he would still be attached to your side the entire night. 

Like David, Dwayne would bring you out to a lot of places that were opened late at night. If there was an art exhibition in town or even a museum that was open late, just say the word and he will happily drive you on his bike. Heck, David might even tag along. 

Also, late night bookstore dates… oh my heart, it’s too sweet it hurts. There are times that he does have to throw you over his shoulder when the bookstore is closing and you're pretty much refusing to leave. When he does that, you just stay frozen over his shoulder, not knowing if you should be blushing or cursing at him for carrying you like a sack of potatoes. 

If anything, you and Dwayne connect very well. You’re naturally very quiet and so is he. Not much is said between you two but there's a mutual understanding that can’t be explained. While the others are out causing trouble, you and him are on the sidelines watching hand in hand or your reading and he's just staring at you as you do so. 

Paul and Marko kind of give you whiplash. They’re loud and rowdy and definitely 100% opposite from you. But they interested you. They had a very chaotic outlook on life which made you ask many questions. 

Paul found your look sexy. He’s horny and you give off preppy school vibes, he’s living for it 24/7. Constant teasing of you giving him ‘private lessons’ which results with you whacking a book against the back of his head. But it doesn’t stop the reddening of your ears which doesn’t make him stop.  

This man is also your designated jewelry expert. You only wear some accessories and they're very simple. So you are very surprised when Paul finds you jewelry that is your style and collects it for you. You like leather watches, guess what, he’s got it for you. You want some fancy victorian looking brooches, he’s got that too. Simple rings with a single jewel in the middle, expect constant ‘will you marry me’ jokes, but he gets you the best.

Also, he’s not overly big into your music selection. He does try to get you into his type of music, which you only like very few and far between. But when you do get him to listen to your type of music, it’s only if you agree to listen to his music the next night. You guys come up with a system and decide to switch every few nights. 

Each of the boys have their favorite look on you and Paul's is when you wear a button-up of any color with a simple black tie, a pencil skirt and a pair of Dr.Marten boots. He especially likes the tie… for reasons. God damn it, you know the reasons, get out of here. 

He’s a very affectionate boy and he finds your looks over confusion some of the cutest shit he’s ever seen. Probably the first one to tell you that he loves you and you honestly like glitched out. Did you feel the same way? Yes, but poor little thing you doesn’t say it right away, but Paul knows that you aren’t really used to saying things like that without warming up to it. Which is okay. He knows even if you don’t say it. 

He definitely steals one of your blazers to put pins on it. Marko helps, putting a few patches on it that they both know you would like. It’s the one item that stands out in all of your clothing and you will wear it if they ask you to. 

Marko definitely thinks the look is cute and it suits you very well, but why no color?! You wear dark colors but nothing bright like the colors that are on his jacket. He tries to slip in some colorful clothing into your everyday look, it never goes as planned but you give him an A for effort. 

He loves how dark you can be at times though. You want to go to a local graveyard just because? Sure! Let’s go! He’s your designated graveyard buddy. You have many date nights there, looking at all the different gravestones and finding it interesting when you jot down some names in one of your notebooks. 

Speaking of notebooks, you have many of them. They were filled with notes from books you’ve read, real life observations or even just some random poetry and short stories that you wrote. Marko would go through them a lot and even sometimes draw little doodles or rough sketches that were thought up from your writings. 

When you spend nights down at the Boardwalk, your go to drink isn’t a slushie or a milkshake or even a soda. It’s coffee or tea. Yeah, and only Marko knows your drink orders by heart. None of the others seem to remember them correctly which you thank them for trying but Marko has got them all beat. 

Marko likes seeing you in sweaters and in your trousers or linen shorts with chelsea boots. If anything, when the two of you are alone, just wearing a knit sweater and shorts were perfect for him. He likes how cozy and warm you look. He’s very happy when he cuddles you and you are warm. 

Now when they tell you that they’re vampires, you think that they’re joking. Vampires aren’t real, they’re a work of fiction. Yes there was a real man named Dracula, but there was no way that they were actual vampires. 

Then they showed you hard proof and then there was no denying it at that point. Instead of running away, you were fascinated. You wanted to understand your boyfriends vampire ways that lead to you conducting extensive research and a notebook dedicated to them. 

They showed you everything about them, how they feed, to which you didn’t bat an eyelash of watching them feed one night. You were one morbid chick but they saw that as a plus that you didn’t react. You had graveyard dates for crying out loud, nothing really surprised them at that point.

Flying came next and they had a lot of fun showing you just how high they could go with you in their arms. You never screamed at the height, you were too caught up in seeing the overhead view of the town. You could get used to seeing a view like that every night.  

Then came the other things; how they slept before you came along, what actually hurt them and what didn’t. There was one time that you stared at their vampire faces for hours because you were taking notes on how their facial features changed. 

Soon you had to stock up on more turtlenecks because of the many bite marks they would leave behind from feeding on you if the weather was bad one night. It wasn’t tough adapting to their occasional feeding. A lot of your clothing already covered up your skin so it was easy to hide from people on your nights out. 

Not too long after, they popped the question. Would you want to be a vampire? Live forever, never grow up? Be with them for all eternity? You didn’t really need to think about it for too long, you knew what your answer was and so did they even if you didn’t say it out loud. You loved your boys and not much would change.

When you did change, it was entertaining for them to watch. You soon started taking down notes about your progress, comparing and contrasting your experience to their own. 

To the eyes of many, you became even more dark and mysterious. You had an aura around you that drew people in, it’s what got you your four vampire boyfriends, only now, it brought in your meal for the night.

[mackeydoodledoo]

Heroes

Pairing: Daniela Dimitrescu x (Fem!)Reader

Summary: You’re a sucker for classic rock. You’re a sucker for women. Getting a woman to get into classic rock is a milestone for you. It’s your senior year of high school and you had participated in a Senior’s Art Showcase; not only attracting a staff member of Musician’s Institute, but also your high school’s most popular yet edgy girl: Daniela Dimitrescu

Warnings: Awkwardness, High school Bullying, Mention of Separation Anxiety, Self-harm scars, fluff at the end

A/N: As someone who is a musician that dreams of becoming an actual musician, this is a whole vibe: getting scouted by a staff person who is apart of a music school and attracting a woman just being a musician.

“Heroes” - David Bowie

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Late-Fall As you play the last chord on your bass guitar of your song that you had written for this showcase, you receive a standing ovation. You could just barely see outlines of people standing for your performance. You could feel some kind of sweat along the sides of your head. Not only from the bright auditorium lights but the nerves almost getting the best of you.

You put your bass into your case and hoist the case across your body but turn around when you hear someone clearing their throat.

“Y/n Y/l/n was it?” A complete stranger asks

“That’s me,” You say, “I’m sorry, you are?”

“Derek Frank,” He introduces himself, “Bass instructor at Musicians Institute.”

Not knowing what else to say you only shake his hand. Maybe for slightly too long...

“I’m impressed by how you incorporated guitar-like chords on your bass,” He comments

“Thank you sir,” You say, chuckling nervously, “To be quite honest, it wasn’t too difficult to compose really. I just took them an octave down and wrote them out on tabs in case I’d forget and... All that... Jazz..”

Smooth y/n... Smooth...

“Well, I’d like you to give you a full-ride scholarship to Musicians Institute, working under me in the Bass classes,” He announces

Your mouth hangs agape, you didn’t expect to get that kind of offer. You don’t answer him right away as you were still trying to even process the offer.

“I’ll let you think about it,” He chuckles, “Here’s my card.”

You take one of his business cards and he makes his leave. you turn to him and watch him exit the building.

“You sure have a way with music,” A voice calls from behind you

You turn back into the other direction and notice Daniel Dimitrescu; Your school’s most popular girl. All the girls are pining after her. Yet, here she is; in your presence. 

“Thank you,” You say, “I-uhh, haven’t been able to get around to the fine art section of this showcase yet but I’m heading over there right now.”

“Perfect, I’ll join you,” She slightly smiles, coming up right next to you

You walk next to Daniela in silence, trying to think of a way to talk to her.

“Weren’t-weren’t you in the fine art section though?” You ask, finally breaking the silence

“I was, but then I heard how the performing arts section had a prodigy bassist performing. That sounded way more interesting than just standing around, greeting people,” Daniela explains

“Is that so?” You ask, sounding slightly flirty

“Was that flirting y/n y/l/n?” Daniela smirks at you

“Maybe,” You joke, but also not joking

Daniela leads you to her exhibition spot and you’re greeted in awe. 

The graphite... Ink... My god she’s a real artist... 

You also happen to notice some photographs that seem to be tattoos she’s done.

“And a tattoo artist?” You ask, gazing at her work, “You must be the prodigy instead of me.”

“Apprentice,” Daniela corrects you, “I’m currently an apprentice at the tattoo shop downtown. But, that won’t last very much longer.”

“Why’s that?” you ask, looking away from her artwork to look at her

“I got a full-ride scholarship to a private art school in the city,” She sighs, “But, I’ll make sure I’ll find a way to make it work.”

“You will,” You encourage her

After the senior art showcase, you and Daniela were out in the parking lot, walking to each others’ vehicles.

“Would you possibly want to get a coffee sometime?” Daniela asks out of the blue

“I don’t see why not Dani,” You smile, closing your trunk after placing your bass case in there

You didn’t really notice the change in color in Daniela’s cheek however you take out your phone and hand it to her. She does the same for her phone and the both of you part ways for the night until the next morning for school.

During the entire morning Daniela had no absolute time to even just say hi to you as you were always disappearing in the school halls between classes. She was hoping she’d see you at lunch however, when she had noticed you not in your typical spot in the corner of the cafeteria, the only other place she thought of was the band room practice rooms.

“Sorry ladies I have to go find someone,” She says, standing from her seat

The girls that swarmed around her, watching her sketch a design into her sketchbook all groan in annoyance and begin dispersing back into the cafeteria. Daniela rushes out of there and right across the hall into the band hall. A few band kids give her an odd look.

“Have you seen y/n?” she asks, despite knowing you might be in the practice room

“Practice room C,” one of the band kids answers

“Thanks,” she says, rushing past them

As you were playing a long to a song, you could slightly hear the door being knocked on. You look over and a smile sweeps across your face as You put your bass against your stand and run up to the door.

“Hey stranger,” You smile, “Come here often?”

“No,” Daniela giggles, stepping into the practice room, “I came to see you. I also need a break from all of the pining girls...”

“Alright,” You sigh, smiling, “ Make yourself comfortable.”

She sits in a chair and watches you, intently.

“What do you want to hear?” You ask, picking your bass back up

“Impress me,” She only says

You chuckle and throw in some slap bass to a song you were doing. Daniela couldn’t help but almost laugh at your ‘bass face’ as you let the music speak for itself.

“What?” You ask, smiling

“The faces you make when you play,” She laughs

“Oh, right,” You chuckle it off, “That happens when a musician lets the music take over our souls and we tend to make faces.”

“Your faces are cute if you tell me,” She smiles

Before you could talk more the bell rings.

“Blast this school,” Daniela growls, “Are you doing anything after school?”

“No why?” You ask

“Meet me in the student parking lot,” She says, leaving the band wing

You spend the rest of your time in the band room as you have pretty much finished everything that was required for your graduation. However, you do wait at the doors leading to the student parking lot. As the final bell rings, you leave through the doors but wait outside for Daniela to come meet you. You look over and see her with a flock of girls following close behind. She manages to see you and speeds off into your direction.

“Hey you,” She smiles, “You ready?”

You nod happily and she swings her arm around you, making sure to let hose girls know who she’s taken an interest to. 

“Where are we going?” You ask

“You’ll see love,” She smiles as she leads you to a convertible vehicle.

“Is that-?”

“Yep, that’s my baby right there,” Daniela smiles

She opens the passenger door for you and you smile at her whilst seating yourself into her car. 

“A gentleman indeed,” You smile

“Oh you shush,” She teases

She gets into the driver’s side door and begins to drive.

“Hey, you got any music?” Daniela asks almost at the top of her lungs

“I do, pass the aux,” You smile

She passes a thin cord to you and you plug in your phone. You scroll through your phone. As the song starts, You look over at Daniela, hoping she’d vibe to the song.

“Wait I’m really vibing with this babe,” Daniela flirts, “What is this??”

“Have you never heard of Classic Rock?” You ask

She shakes her head.

“Girl, I’m about to open your ears,” You smile

As Daniela continues driving, the both of you hold your arm out of the vehicle. You let your hand ‘fly’ like the wing of a plane. 

“You sure do have taste y/n my dear,” Daniela smiles, “Play some more after this song!”

“You got it!” You smile

As you listen to the intro and the intro vocals, you decide to sing your heart out.

And you, you can be mean And I, I’ll drink all the time ’Cause we’re lovers and that is a fact Yes, we’re lovers! And that is a fact Though nothing will keep us together We could steal time just for one day

You look over and notice Daniela smiling. Not sure whether it was from the good music or your vocals. But, you were still having fun so you didn’t care about what she thought. 

Well, I care though...

We can be heroes! Forever and ever! What d’you say?

As you sing the last line in the refrain, you look at Daniela; Your right hand over your chest and your other arm reaching out to her. She laughs as she takes her free hand into yours, linking your fingers’ together. 

Later when Daniela finally stops driving, you turn down the radio and look out to a gothic coffee shop.

“Welcome to my favorite place to be,” Daniela smiles

“Oh my goodness,” you say

“What is it love?” Daniela asks, getting out of her car

“I’ve just never been here before,” You say, “This place suits you super well.”

You follow Daniela into the coffee shop and you follow her into a spot, seemingly she normally seats herself in whenever she would come in here.

“How long have you’ve been a regular?” You ask

“About a couple of years now,” She answers you, “Sometimes I’d even skip class for this place.”

“Would you now,” You chuckle, “Maybe I’d skip with you one of these days.”

“Since when are you a rebel?” She asks, giggling

“Since meeting you love,” You smile

“Everyone falls for me in time,” Daniela flirts

“Not me,” You smile, "Somewhat."

"Somewhat?" She asks, taking somewhat offense to your comment

"Like, I've noticed you in the halls at school, but you've never really captivated me until the senior art showcase." You explain, "But hey, you got me now right? Better late than never."

"You're right," she smiles

During the outing, your focus was concentrated on a book.

"Whatchu doing?" Daniela asks, trying to see what you were so focused on

"That is for me to know and for you to find out," you smile

Once the both of you were back on the road, you notice the sun beginning to set.

"Hey I know an amazing place to watch the sunset," you smile, "You want to come along?"

She smiles as she nods to your suggestion. She follows your direction and the two of you end up on the cliffside near the outskirts of town.

"Come on Dani hurry!" You say, breaking into a run towards an open spot along the cliffs

Daniela walks over to you as you gaze out to the wilderness below. Along with the sunset going below the horizon.

"Welcome to my favorite spot," you smile, "Where I go whenever I'd feel at my low, I'd come here, take in the scenery."

"By yourself?" She asks

"Well, yeah," you sigh, "But, if you'd like to come on adventure outings with me I'd love your company."

"I'd like to y/n," she smiles

"By the way, do you have a record player?" You ask out of the blue

"Yeah why?" She asks

"You'll see," you smile, “Also, I’m about to send you a playlist I made of all the classics I loved listening to growing up.”

You send it to her, “You don’t necessarily need to listen to them right away. It’s for whenever you feel like it.”

Mid-Winter In the next month, Daniela had been your ride to school and in the next week, during finals, came Daniela's birthday. Daniela told you how her mother is throwing her a huge birthday dinner and how she won't be able to spend her birthday with you.

"Hey it's okay Dani," you smile, "Besides, I got you this."

You hand her a wrapped folder-looking present.

"I gotta go to band," you smile, "I'll see you on Monday."

You step up onto your toes and gently place a kiss on Daniela's cheek. You turned your heel before you could see Daniela's reaction. You also didn't see how some flock of girls noticed your cheek kiss gift to Daniela. She looks down at her present and unwrap it; a Rare David Bowie "Heroes" Promo Vinyl and a card. Once she opens the card, a senior photo of you falls into her palm.

"This is one of my most prized Vinyl's," Daniela reads aloud on the back of the photo, "But, I'd want my favorite gal to have it since you love it as much as I do."

Daniela squeals of happiness and gently hugs her her newly added vinyl to her collection. She runs over to her locker to place it in there for the rest of the 

"That girl will get in our way," one of the popular girls snarl

"We have to do something about this," another one says

During lunch you were minding your own business, it was a rare occasion that you'd be in the cafeteria. You look up when you saw 3 torsos in your peripherals

"Stay away from Daniela," one of the popular girls comes up to you, "She's ours. Not yours."

Daniela perks her head up to her name being called. 

"I'm sorry?" You ask, "sorry not sorry I attracted the coolest girl in school by flexing on an instrument. At least she sees something in me that has potential, I don't know why you three gawk over her when you have nothing to show off to her for."

One of the girls opens her basic white girl coffee and splashes it into your face and clothes. You burst out of the cafeteria, back into the band room, not caring about if Daniela saw.

"That'll teach her," she snickers

"What the hell was that?!" Daniela asks, snarling at them

"Hi Daniela," one of them tries to play it off, flirtatious-sounding

"Don't you 'hi Daniela' me," Daniela yells, "Answer. My. Question. What the hell was that?!"

"She’s taking you away from us," one of the girls blurts out

"I'm not even into any of you!" She growls at them, "Don't even flock around me anymore. And if I see you three doing so in the slightest, I will make sure you get the same treatment you treated y/n.."

She takes her backpack and runs into your direction. Of course it was into the band room. She manages to find you in your same practice room however, it was dark. She opens the door and sits next to you. Daniela then opens her backpack and takes out a pair of leggings and a hoodie.

"You okay?" She asks

She looks away when you change your pants in a hurry then stripping down into her hoodie. The smell of lemon and mint eased your senses.

"Yeah," you lean against her shoulder, "Thanks for the extra pair of clothes..."

"No worries," she says, "I'm sorry for them. I didn't even realize that they would do such a thing..."

"No it's okay," you say, "It's not you who should be apologizing. But those three never will. So I'll be over it in time."

The both of you leaned on each other until the bell rang. However, you were about to leave for class until you felt Daniela snake her arm around your waist.

"Class can wait," Daniela says, "I'm staying with you..."

You feel your cheeks heat up as you lean your head back onto Daniela's shoulder. You take out your phone, thank the gods it didn’t get stained with coffee and plug in your earbuds. You put one into your left ear and offer the other one to Daniela to put into her right ear. She takes it, places it into her right ear and you begin playing the first song that came up.

“Why’d you only call me when you’re high?” - Arctic Monkeys

“You like them too?” Daniela smiles, trying to lighten the mood

“I do,” You smile, but looking in the empty void of the practice room

“Well, we have one group we both like,” She smiles

After school you explained to your band teacher why you didn't show up to class, thankfully your band teacher is lenient and excused you for mental health reasons. You and Daniela decide to get dinner together per Daniela's suggestion. She wanted to make it up to you for letting that cafeteria incident happen earlier in the day and for you to celebrate her birthday with her a day early. You didn't want to go anywhere fancy so Daniela gets the both of you food from her favorite coffee shop and takes the both of you to your cliffside spot.

"So Bela has a glass eye?" You ask, "Is that why she always has her hair covering her right eye?"

"Yeah because we like to fuck around with her and continuously steal it and hide it from her." Daniela laughs, "If you didn't know, I have two different eye colors."

She lifts her bangs to show you. You kind of look in awe before she puts her bangs back down.

"My other sister; Cassandra has a lazy eye," she says, "So basically my family is full of broken people..."

"Maybe it isn't a bad thing all the time," you say, "Having imperfections are what make you who you are really."

You roll up your right sleeve and reveal some silver scars.

"Sometimes past relationships can go awry and... Make you do things you regret," you sigh, "But hey, these were from like.... 3 years ago so I’m doing a lot better than last time."

She gently takes a hold of your arm and places many kisses along and over your silver strands. You felt your cheeks heat up once more.

"You're right," Daniela agrees, "Well, I know now you're alive to tell the stories about them. If you're comfortable with doing so."

Once again she snakes her arm around your waist and leans her head against yours.

"Your family also sounds interesting," you add

"Interestingly Chaotic," Daniela jokes

"Chaotic is more fun," you flirt

Daniela lifts her head away to look at you. You look down at her lips and lean forward. Daniela meets you halfway.

"I've decided to go to California for Musicians Institute," you say, when you pull sway from Daniela’s lips

Daniela freezes.

"Dani?" You ask, looking at her, cupping her cheeks into your hands, "What's wrong?"

She doesn't say anything but plays it off like nothing happened.

"Sorry-it's nothing," Daniela sighs

"Are you sure?" You ask, "You can trust me."

"It's okay, I'm sure," she says

"Well, whenever you're ready to talk about it," you say

Spring Seniors are itching to get out of high school. Everyone either had committed to colleges, gotten a date for prom. But you? You got yourself the top prodigy artist in the school as your girlfriend and gotten into one of the best music schools for your field of music. Best of both worlds. It was after school Daniela had slipped a note into your band locker to meet you at your guys' hangout spot at the edge of town. You park at the parking lot and see a blanket laid out near the cliffside; Daniela sitting there; noticing her red hair.

“Dani?” You call out, shutting your car door

She turns to you and you could easily see a smile across her face as you catch up to her.

“Hey you,” you smile, sitting right next to her, “What are we doing out here?”

You look out to the cliffside; the forestry and the giant lake in view. Your favorite place to be when you want to be alone; has officially turned into a place you want to be, with Daniela. 

“y/n, when we met that night, I’ve felt something in me that I have never felt with any other girl,” Daniela confesses

You felt your heart beginning to thump in your chest. 

Why was she beginning to confess everything now?

She turns to you and you notice a small instrument in her hands; a ukulele. You watch her left arm make a chord; it was pretty... 

Tear in my Heart?...

Sometimes you gotta bleed to know

Daniela easily struggles to make the chords and sing at the same time. However, you weren’t paying attention enough to know she’s struggling.

But it takes someone to come around To show you how

You watch her attempt to sing to you... For the first time ever, you were so touched. 

“Fuck,” She growls

She stops after realizing she’ll never finish the song properly however, you reach out to her and engulf her in a hug.

“You learned how to play ukulele? For me?” You ask

“It’s-it’s not perfect but- but I really wanted to impress you,” She confesses, “But, I’m still working on figuring out how to sing and play this thing at the same time.. I’m sorry it’s bad...”

“Dani, it wasn’t bad,” You smile, “I’m so touched... You took the time out to do this for me. If I’m going to confess something, remember when you and I went out to your favorite coffee shop and I ‘wasn’t paying attention’ to you?” 

She nods, “How could I forget?”

You reach into your backpack and take out your own sketchbook. You flip to your bookmarked page and reveal that you had done a graphite drawing of Daniela. 

“It’s not perfect either but-”

Before you could continue, Daniela leans her head towards yours and places her lips gently onto yours. When she pulls away to look at you, you open your eyes and begin processing what Daniela had done. However, your hands put down the sketchbook and cup Daniela’s cheeks and your lips crash onto hers. You climb into her lap and she snakes her arms around your waist.

“Dani,” You call her name, breathlessly

The both of you pull away to breathe and you could see the smile sweep across her face. 

“You learned how to draw? For me?” She asks the same exact question you asked her

“Technically I know how to draw but, I can’t draw as well as you,” You smile

“You kidding?” Daniela asks, reaching for your sketchbook, “you got my eyes- the Blue and green, the choker I always wear, my hair including the little hairs on my shaved side, beanie detail... You did it all babe.”

“I did?” You ask, in awe

She smiles as she nods at you. You give her another kiss before finally the question you had comes to mind.

"Now what is it that you really got me out here for?" You ask

"y/n y/l/n, would you like to go to prom with me?" She asks

"Yes Dani, a million times yes!" You happily say

You kiss her again before the both of you decide to talk on prom outfits.

"I was thinking we could match the color of your choker," you suggested

"We could," she smiles, "I'm down. One condition; I'm wearing the suit."

"No complaints there love," you smile

After the both of you settled a day to get your prom outfits, the both of you just begin to watch the sunset.

"When are you moving again?" Daniela asks

"End of August," you reply, "I'll be sure to come visit or if you're able, come visit me."

"I'll take you up on that offer," Daniela smiles, still trying to hide how sad she is that you’ll be moving soon

The two of you went to prom however, got so bored the both of you decided to ditch it and make your own prom. The both of you ended up staying at Daniela's place for the first time for yourself at least.

"Is this is girl that swept my daughter off her feet?" Her mother comes in

"Yes mother," Daniela smiles, kissing your temple

"Oh aren’t you a dream,” She compliments, “Daniela has told us so much about you.”

“Mother!” Daniela yelps, hiding her heated cheeks

“Oh, is that so Ms. Dimitrescu?” You ask, looking at Daniela, who was clearly blushing

Summer You pretty much got instantly accepted into the family. You’ve spent most of your summer with them. 

“Do you have to go?” Daniela asks, her arms wrapped around you like a sloth

“I do,” You say, “I told you before, it’ll be okay, we’ll make this work.”

“I know,” She sighs, “But, what if we let the long distance get the best of us?”

“It won’t baby, not as long as we make the communication thing happen. That’s key.”

“I- just...” Daniela stutters

“You just what?” You ask, propping yourself on your elbows, looking down at her

“I have separation anxiety,” Daniela confesses, “I don’t want you to go, I want you to stay here... But, I don’t want you to stay here just for me...”

“Dani...” You say, “I would stay here for you if I could.”

Your fingers caress her cheek as she leans into the palm of your hand. 

“Don’t stay here for me,” She says, “I- Just don’t forget about me...”

“Dani babe, How could I ever forget about the girl that I attracted? Saved my skin from three petty girls? Especially the girl that did some music for me, regardless if she had no prior music experience. I could never forget you my love.”

You drop your head down to give her a long, lingering kiss.

“Plus, if I had the choice, I’d take you with me in a heartbeat,” You smile, pulling away

Daniela smiles as she wraps her arm around your neck to drag your face down to hers. 

3 Months Later... You knock on the door to the Dimitrescu Estate and notice Bela had opened the door.

“Is Daniela here?” You ask Bela

“Daniela, your girlfriend is here!” Bela calls from the front door

“You want to come in or what? It’s cold.” She smiles, “Welcome back.”

Daniela practically jumps down the stairs as soon as she sees your face appear in the doorway.

“Baby!” Daniela screams happily as she picks you up to give you a big bear hug

You hug her tightly as she spins you around all excitedly. The two of you share a kiss before hearing Bela and Cassandra jokingly barf at your PDA.

“Welcome home honey,” Alcina smiles, giving you a giant hug, “How is California?”

“Insane,” You sigh, “It’s a whole different world.. But, I’ve been video chatting with your daughter every night.”

“Daniela has been almost moping about every night after the two of you video chat and-”

“Mother!” Daniela interrupts before taking you gently by the arm and dragging you right back out of the front door

The both of you headed to Daniela’s signature coffee shop to catch up. Despite it only being 3 months you’ve moved to California for your music career.

“I’ve finally gotten around to listening to your playlist since you left,” Daniela confesses

“I’ve sent you that like ages ago,’ You slightly chuckle, “But, I’m glad you’re enjoying it.”

“I practically listen to it wherever I go; drives, around campus, even at my apprenticeship.” Daniela explains, “Clients are loving my girlfriend’s taste in music.”

“Awwww,” You blush, “I’ve began taking some other music genres to practice bass. Well, taking them from my professor when he assigns video assignments.”

“So, what is it you want to do when you play your bass?” Daniela asks

“Oh?” You ask her, “Well, I’ve been to many concerts and I really love how all of the musicians would be performing on stage to millions of people. I want to do that too.”

“Who do you have in mind?” Daniela asks

“That depends on who’s hiring,” You say, “But, If you really wanted to get answers out of me; Waterparks, Panic! At the Disco... To name a few.”

“Those are some big bands,” Daniela leans back into her seat, “But, I know you’ll be able to do it. And when you do, I’ll come to every single show; make one of those giant posters where it says: ‘my girlfriend is the bassist!’.. That kind of thing.”

Your face heats up and you shove your face into a mug of coffee. Daniela lets out a peppy-giggle and lifts her head so her face is toward the ceiling.

“Lets drive,” She suggests

“I’d thought you’d never ask,” You smile

As soon as the both of you had gotten into Daniela’s car, she puts a couple of fingers under your chin to gently pull your face towards hers, the both of your lips molding to each others’. You flip on the radio and put in your playlist. The familiar riff of the first song the both of you had listened to together. 

[lochsides]

If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power Review

Where do I even begin with 'If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power'? It is such a good album, it's almost criminal. If I had to pick the best album to be released this year, IICHLIWP would be it. Halsey has always been an excellent songwriter, that was never even in question, but it has been proved once again, in case anyone wasn't paying attention. IICHLIWP is an album that covers so much depth in sound and in lyric. The dichotomy of the Madonna and the Whore, as they said in their announcement of the album, is an overarching theme of IICHLIWP and it is articulated so consummately. The references to pregnancies and childbirth are more subtle than I expected but that's what makes them so genius. This is an album where every lyric is intentional.

My favourite songs are ‘The Tradition’, 'Bells in Santa Fe', '1121' and 'Ya'aburnee'. More detailed thoughts on each track are below the cut. Trigger warnings for sexual assault and miscarriages.

The Tradition — This is the first song on the album and Halsey had already fucked me up so there's that. I got full-body chills listening to 'The Tradition'. The production is masterful. There is this darkness that settles in early and ebbs and flows beautifully, not only throughout the song but the album as a whole. 'The Tradition' already sets up so many of themes of this album, but what a way to talk about sexual assault. I am in love with the entire chorus line but I think my favourite lyric is ‘she got the life she wanted but now all she does is cry.’

Bells in Santa Fe — The transition from 'The Tradition' into 'Bells in Santa Fe' was so smooth I didn't even notice that the songs had changed until I looked at my screen. I don't think I could actually describe how much I adore this song if I took up the rest of my life doing so. The production is absolutely God-tier. Everything from the way it keeps building throughout the song to the percussion to the piano on the second chorus and the distortion towards the end is so perfectly done. You will never hear me rave about production this much. What a fucking song! On top of all that, you have the lyrics that are so powerful. When they said 'cause who the fuck would chose this?' it reminded me of my favourite Manicsong, 'Forever... is a long' where they sing 'how could somebody ever love me?' so that stood out to me. I love the cadence on 'secondhand thread in a secondhand bed with a second man's head' but the lyric 'better off dead so I reckon I'm headed to Hell instead' is probably the one that hits the hardest. My escapist, runaway tendencies felt very exposed by the entirety of the pre-chorus.

Easier than Lying — The way she emotes on ‘you lair, you don’t love me’ is fucking everything. I needed to start with that. It’s my favourite aspect of the whole song. And then there is that obvious callback in the bridge. ‘Easier than Lying’ is the punk sound we were promised of IICHLIWP and they delivered. The Grungy electric guitar, the bass, the production!!! This one goes hard and it makes no apologies of it’s anger.

Lilith — ‘I’m disruptive, I’ve been corrupted, and by now I don’t need a fucking introduction.’ I mean what could I possibly say after that??! Honestly, I love the duality of how this line could be about Halsey but it could also be about Lilith, herself. There is a selfishness to 'Lilith' that I love. When you connect that to the mythology of Lilith preying on pregnant women and the context of this album — it's just got so many layers. Halsey's mind!! I love the sound of this song. The production has a classic rock flare to it. Those drums are so clean and the bass accompanies it perfectly. The smoothness of their vocal on this track is very pleasing to listen to.

Girl is a Gun — I'm not going to lie, this song isn't for me. I get it. The message is right up my street but the overall sound of it just isn't what I personally like. I do love their little laugh at the start! The lyric 'it's a shot in the dark, I'm not a walk in the park, I come loaded with the safety switched off' is my favourite.

You asked for this — This song is really interesting because they gave us a pop punk sound, pushed it to the back of the track, really grungey guitar riffs and all, but their voice is so light and delicate almost, very airy in a way that stands apart from the backing track. I really like it. To me, it's like an emphasis of the message of 'You asked for this'. Young women are oftentimes forced to grow up too soon and 'be a big girl.' Society forgets, I would even say purposely overlooks, that they are 'still somebody's daughter,' one of the few things that is used to give value to a woman. We've all heard people throw the phrase "but what if it was your daughter/sister?" into the conversation when discussing women that have somehow been abused by the patriarchy. 'You asked for this' also calls attention to how when we're younger, all we want is to be grown up but how unaware we can be of what it means to be a woman in this world, the trauma that comes with it.

Darling — The guitar in this song and it’s almost-country sound are what sets this song apart from the rest of the album. ‘Darling’ is a lullaby for their child, but it tells a story of their struggles. It is honest in a way that feels private. Motherhood sounds so good on them!! This song is just a collection of things I love in music. 'Darling' is soothing and it sounds like comfort, in both melody and lyric. 'Foolish men have tried but only you have shown me how to love being alive' is perhaps the softest lyric on the whole album.

1121 — I expelled a heavy sigh when I heard ‘1121’ it absolutely took my breath away*.* This song is a truly moving ode to an unborn child. So many people talk about how they had never known what unconditional love really meant until they had a child. Halsey tells it as such: ‘you could have my heart and I would break it for you.’ I love their vocal styling on this song so much, going between their lower register and those beautiful falsettos in the chorus. The overlapping on the bridge of ‘please don’t leave, don’t leave me in the shape you left me’ and ‘I’m running out of time to tell you, I’m running out of things that I regret’ and ‘you’d never, you told me’ really capture all the wide array of emotions felt by pregnant person upon finding out they are pregnant when they’ve dealt with miscarriage. Her voice emotes the fear of losing another child, the regret of the ones she's already lost, the promise, almost desperate, of the opportunity they have right now. All of these feelings are brought to life further by the production of the song. There is so much depth in '1121'.

honey — Pop punk wlw anthem check. Halsey suits this sound so much. This track, the production, the instrumentation, all of it catered to their voice so perfectly. The sound is so refreshing and yet so classic. I adore the melody. It’s unsuspectingly catchy. I wonder if there are links to ‘Lilith’ with ‘she’s mean and she’s mine’ or if I’m just reaching. Either way, a song about a love that is a little chaotic and wild, sign me up!

Whispers — Whispering on a song called 'Whispers' might be obvious but I'm a basic bitch so leave me alone, I loved it. Lyrically, 'Whispers' was the song that I saw myself in the most. When she said 'camouflage so I can feed the lie that I'm composed,' I just felt far too exposed for comfort. Same thing with 'I do not know me.' And that's what art is supposed to do. The instrumental is haunting and dark. The way they create tension by adding in one instrument at a time. The production is amazing. Top 5 shit right here!

I am not a woman, I'm a god — Not only does this song have the catchiest hook, it’s literally ‘I am not a woman, I’m a god. I am not a martyr, I’m a problem. I am not a legend, I’m a fraud so keep your heart ‘cause I already got one.’ That hook right there tells you everything you need to know about this song. ‘I am not a woman, I’m a god’ acknowledges that one needs not be a woman to create life. They are claiming power to their gender identity through relation to Godliness. Even in the other lyrics, they talk about being ‘a different human in a new place’ or ‘a better human with a new name’ (this line in particular draws direct parallels to trans experiences). Both times, they specifically use ‘human.’ The production of this song is designed to be a single. It’s got the signature darkness of this album, tells the listener where Halsey is at sonically, and it’s a total banger.

The Lighthouse — The way this song just comes in swinging right away with the distortion and the heavy guitars is exactly what I expected from this album going into it for the first time. Very modern punk rock. And the lyric doesn't pull any punches either. 'From a tender age I was cursed with rage,' like c'mon!! I love the melody and her vocal inflations throughout the song. This is the longest song on the album but it doesn't drag. The change up right before the outro really helps with that. I find that outro so interesting. The contrast between the instrumental constantly building but their voices staying so far in the back on the track creates so much tension that is relieved in the best way possible with 'Ya'aburnee'.

Ya'aburnee — ‘Ya’aburnee’ is the perfect conclusion to this album. Halsey said in their Apple Music interview that IICHLIWP is about the power to choose and by the end of the album you realise that they choose love. This song perfectly embodies that. It’s familial. The entire chorus talks of seeing yourself in your kin and the circle of life. The second verse is a clear love letter to their partner and it makes me emotional, knowing their romantic history as we do, to hear them sing ‘wrap me in a wedding ring.’ I love how the lyric ‘you will bury me before I bury you’ is not only a statement of their hopes that they don’t have to live in a world without their loved ones, a statement of how parents should never have to bury their children, but it almost sounds like a protective promise that they will do anything to ensure their loved ones are kept from harm so as not to need burial. The softness of the instrumental on ‘Ya’aburnee’ is feels like unwinding from the rest of the record. It’s such a beautiful song.

[kintatsujo]

LoZ AU- The Courage of Running Away Part THIRTY

Previous Post Is HERE

This is the last outline post!  But like I said before I’m probably gonna take a run at NaNo with this story this year because of how thoroughly it got out of hand lmao and probably will keep doing smaller art posts and shit at this point.

And again there’s already ideas for a sequel in the works, although that’ll probably trickle in MUCH more slowly for the time being.

Next week I’m probably going to take a break from Tumblr altogether bc of Real Life Stuff and the fact that this project turned So Big.  Maybe.  Possibly.  Don’t take me at my word lmao

This is a text heavy post and I apologize but there was a lot to cover; each section is separated by headers.

Content warning for mention of hanging used as a metaphor.  

#AU August

#LoZ AU: The Courage of Running Away

Astramorus’s Sentencing 

Astramorus is stripped of his rank within Hylia's Church, although he's allowed to keep his home at the sky commune since he and Catena had shared it since before her death and Zelda isn't cruel. She assigns him a Shiekah escort-and-therapist on Impa's recommendation, someone he's not allowed to leave the Sky Temple Commune without until further notice, and Astramorus tells her it's generally much more generous than he expected even considering the help he'd offered.

Link doesn’t go home with him, at Astramorus's insistence.

"Listen to me, Link," he says, touching Link's face gently. "For all that I'd LIKE to undo the last twelve years of our lives, do it better, you're still healing from everything I did wrong."

"Uncle Seren was-" Link starts.

"Giving me the rope with which to hang myself," Astramorus finishes. "I still took it in hand, son. We both need a little distance to start, you to heal and me to sort my own head."

Link frowns at him. "You need to heal too," he says. "You wouldn't have taken that rope if Mama had been here to stop you."

"Probably not," Astramorus agrees. "But that's why her Majesty is assigning someone to follow me around, isn't it?"

[Image Description: Link throws his arms around Astramorus, to his father’s surprise.  When Astramorus hugs him back, looking like he’s ready to collapse into the hug, Link opens one eye and tells him sternly, “Take CARE of yourself, Father, or we’re gonna have WORDS.”  “Mhm,” Astramorus mumbles. End ID.]

(Hilda, it should be noted, tells Astramorus and Link that they’re both welcome to visit Lorule Castle at any time, trying to hide her eagerness until finally admitting; “You both know what having Serenumbra in your head is like.”  And Astramorus and Link agree with that and promise to meet there in a few months, once they’ve had that time to sort themselves out.)

As for Serenumbra, for now Eltani decides to let him “enjoy” some solitude in the Gerudo City prison while she deliberates more thoroughly on what to do with him.  He did quite a lot, after all.

What to do About Ghirahim

Eltani and Zelda Sr discuss what to do about Ghirahim more privately, with Aldway, Impa, and Vaba (Eltani's oldest advisor) there to offer input.

"You say he froze upon being presented with the mere image of his old master," Aldway says. "I'm not sure I trust that."

"It wasn't like-" Zelda starts, then starts over. "He was like a frightened child, darling." She pauses, reevaluates. "Or like a dog expecting to be beaten."

"Like Link?" Aldway asks mildly.

She shakes her head. "Much worse than even that, my dear."

"Even knowing he's half mortal he has trouble stilling his tongue towards me," Eltani notes. "Faced with his former master, he was struck silent."

Vaba speaks up. "You say that Serenumbra called the thing he summoned a god's nightmare, correct?"

"The boy Link saw a figure he couldn't hope to live up to. Your Majesty saw a figure from history you've tried to avoid being since you were her age. Whose nightmare was Demise? Dinravi didn't know his face, and you tell us Ghirahim stepped in the way. Dinravi only faced a copy of Ghirahim's master because he was reflected from Ghirahim's half human heart."

They decide to let him stay.

What Dinravi Would Like to do About Ghirahim

And in the meantime Dinravi and Ghirahim are having their own discussion somewhere else in the castle, partly because Eltani asked Dinravi to keep Ghirahim away from where they're discussing and partly because of course they are, it's been a lot, the last day and a half or so, between Ghirahim saving Dinravi from assassination and Dinravi punching Nightmare Demise in the face. And finding out that Ghirahim is definitely around half human now, there's also that.

There's a bit of an awkward silence, at first. It's so, so much. Ghirahim is stealing a lot of glances and Dinravi seems to be collecting himself.

And then Dinravi asks: "Can I kiss you?"

Ghirahim stares at him for a moment, eyes wide, mouth small in surprise, bright red, and then he smiles a little and looks away and says "You still don't... my prince, you don't need to ask PERMISSION to do whatever you PLEASE with me."

Dinravi goes quiet. "... Is that how it was with him? Demise?" he asks. His face is gentle and open, nonjudgmental, but Ghirahim sputters.

"Of course it was," he says, "is there a problem with that?"

Dinravi studies him. "Apparently there is," he says. "Because you're shaking."

Ghirahim jolts in horror and stares at his hands, which are indeed trembling, almost as badly as at the sight of Nightmare Demise, and he screams: "DAMN this frail useless human body!!"

Dinravi takes a step backwards, watching him, and says, "Ghirahim." And at getting his attention, he asks, "Does this mean that you came to me, tried to seduce me into conquest... Knowing that might mean you, too?"

Ghirahim stares at him for a breath, vulnerable, then looks away, frowning. "Of course I did," he says.

Dinravi sighs. "Of course you did," he echoes.

"I was FORGED for this," Ghirahim says helplessly. "To serve Master Demise, or the one who inherits from Him. Whatever that might mean."

"Ghirahim," Dinravi says gently. "You're almost half human now. I believed in your choice before, when we were thinking you entirely demon, but... Being human means getting to choose."

Ghirahim is adrift and he looks at the floor, the ceiling, out the window, and finally back at Dinravi, trying to find solid ground.

His voice is small. "Please kiss me?" he asks. Dinravi smiles and steps forward, leaning into him, brushing his lips tenderly with his own. Ghirahim whimpers and surges forward, and Dinravi puts his arms around him and steadies his stance, chuckling, soothing him, kisses him again. Ghirahim gasps as his knees buckle and he slides downward, almost ragdoll as Dinravi catches him again.

"Are you okay?!" Dinravi asks, holding him against his chest.

"I'm fine," Ghirahim whispers, hanging on for dear life. "C-can- Can we take this somewhere your MOM won't stumble on us, or worse one of the BRATS running around the castle? I'm about to become very embarrassing if we keep this up." He gives Dinravi a significant stare, face crimson. "Maybe with a bed?"

Dinravi's eyebrows shoot up. ".... Would you like me to carry you?" he finally asks.

"I think you're going to have to," Ghirahim admits.

We're going to give them some privacy. XD

[Image Description: Dinravi is tilting Ghirahim into a kiss, the sun setting through the window behind them.  Ghirahim’s eyes are open but he’s pliant in Dinravi’s arms, one hand curled against his chest.  Dinravi is smiling, eyes closed and his grip gentle but rather thoroughly in control of the situation.  End ID.]

Back At the Sky Commune

Maurice and the other priests/monks at the Sky Temple Commune had some word of what was going on by the time Astramorus returns, and Maurice has more or less been put in charge now, in recognition of his years of service and care of the commune’s day to day.

He’s a bit annoyed at Astramorus about the whole thing, if he’s honest, which he is, but he also does care about his former superior, and once Astramorus has settled back in and the Sheikah escort is being shown around he approaches him in his quarters, finding him by the window thrown open, chin resting in his hand, looking out of place in the kind of civilian clothing Astramorus has barely worn his entire life.

“So what are you going to do with yourself, Astramorus, once the Queen’s man has decided you’ve moped around here enough?” he asks.  Maurice is kind but he’s also gruff.  Birds don’t tend to care about your word choices, and Maurice spends much more time with pigeons and cuccos and loftwings than with people.

Astramorus shrugs, not turning from the view of the blue sky.  “Honestly Maurice, I was raised by Hylia’s Church.  Mayhap I’ll find something else, but.  Well, it was kind of the Queen to let me keep these quarters for more reasons than memory of my wife.”

Maurice bristles his mustache, and then he says, “You know... she stripped your rank.  There’s nothing about your sentence as I read it that says you can’t start over from the beginning.”

Astramorus finally turns to him, and Maurice is struck by how... well, how much happier the other man looks.  He’s lost nearly everything, and yet it’s like a great millstone’s off his neck.  And Astramorus smiles:

[Image Description: “Maybe,” Astramorus says, smiling against his hand.  He looks relaxed and happy, and maybe like he’s considering it seriously.  The sun shines on him gently.  End ID.]

What Now, Link?

And perhaps at the same time, now that he’s said his goodbyes and everything’s settled down, Marla finds Link sitting on a balcony rail of Hyrule Castle, looking out at Castle Town and looking pretty peaceful himself.

She comes up behind him and folds her arms against the rail, smiling up at him.

“So, Link, we finally got your father to listen to you,” she says, and she’s thinking of that conversation at the Shrine of the Furious God when she says it.  “What now?”

Link shrugs.  “I suppose I’ll stay here for a little while,” he says.  He wants to see Gray recovered, and to spend more time with the Royal Family, and it’d be nice, if he’s honest, to rest a while himself.  “The Queen says my mother’s family are probably still running around the continent somewhere, so I might look for them after that.”  Adventuring runs in the family, apparently, because Zelda Sr. only has some idea of where his grandparents have gotten off to, only some idea of where to find his mother’s younger siblings.

“Sounds like a plan,” Marla says.  She looks out at Hyrule Castle Town for a quiet moment, enjoying the sound of Link breathing.

“Do you think,” she says, “That we could take a few weeks to check back at Windfish Isle?  I have this horrible suspicion that the Mayor has filled Tonbo and my house with fishing nets and I’d like to let him know to find someone else to live there before the walls take on a permanent stink.”

We’re staying with you so we should let them know goes unspoken, but Marla has known for a while she’s tying herself to Link for the rest of his life the same way she’s tied herself to Tonbo for the rest of his life, and the world’s a bit wider than it was when she and Tonbo left with Link, and if Link’s going to be in the wide world, Marla and Tonbo should be too.

And Link knows what she means.  Because family means the people you don’t need so much courage around.

He smiles.  “Yeah,” he says.  “We can do that.”

[Image Description: Link and Marla.  Link is sitting on the balcony rail while Marla is leaning on it.  They’re giving one another fond smiles.  The sun shines on them gently, giving the image a slightly faded look.  End ID.]