#doesn’t deserve to be having such distressing mental states

[flock-talk]

Toto had just about three consecutive days of being virtually unhandlable, there was one half a day in there that he was alright then the rest were just a ton of hissing and lunging and even outright flying across the room to attack.

It’s nice to have his sweet affectionate self back today. Whatever he’s been struggling with the last few days I hope he’s feeling safer now.

[delusionalfanficwriter]

Accident: part 2

Leah burst through the door of Y/n's hospital room, her breaths hurried and eyes wide with worry, having just landed in the States, thirty minutes ago.

"Shhhh," Maya hushed her, her voice a gentle command cutting through the tense air of the room. "We just got her to settle and sleep after another panic attack. She's not in good shape, but she's awake and coherent, which, considering the crash she had, is nothing short of miraculous."

"Another panic attack?" Leah's disbelief hung heavy in the air. "What's that, the seventh one in twenty-four hours?"

"It might've been more if we hadn't insisted she close her eyes and try to rest," Carina chimed in wearily, her hand rubbing circles under her tired eyes.

The exhaustion was palpable in the room, a heavy blanket draped over each of the women as they gathered around the young soccer star.

"Did Dr. Shepard give any update about her legs?" Leah's voice wavered, the question a lifeline thrown into the swirling uncertainty.

Maya and Carina exchanged a glance, a silent acknowledgment passing between them before Maya took the lead, her voice steady but tinged with concern. "Dr. Shepard said the scans show inflammation compressing the nerves, but she's hesitant to jump into surgery just yet. The risks outweigh the potential benefits. She's not confident Y/n will regain feeling in her legs, but she did offer a glimmer of hope."

Leah sank back into her seat, the weight of the news settling heavily upon her shoulders. She turned her gaze to Y/n, sleeping peacefully amidst the chaos of uncertainty. "Fucking hell. She doesn't deserve any of this. She fought so hard to rebuild her life and soccer keeps her sane..."

"Maya and I are terrified," Carina added, her voice barely above a whisper, "the mere thought of not being able to play again... it's tearing her apart."

Leah's eyes widened in disbelief. "You mean you haven't told her?"

Maya shook her head, her expression pained. "We couldn't. Not with everything she's already been through. The stress, the trauma... telling her now would only push her further into despair. Y/n's mental state is fragile, Leah. We haven’t seen her in that mental state in such a long time. We had to protect her."

“I understand. I haven’t really seen or known of her life before soccer. She still hasn’t shared much of her past despite our two year relationship.”

“Can’t blame her. It took a lot of time for her to trust us enough to let us in even partly but don’t feel any way about it. She doesn’t like dwelling on her past life but I think this might be triggering her to life before soccer.” Carina explained. 

The three women conversed in low whispers until a change in the monitors caught Maya and Carina’s attention. A sudden shift in the monitors' readings drew Maya and Carina's attention like a magnet, their heads snapping in unison towards the glowing screens. Leah, sensing the change in atmosphere, followed their gaze, her heart rate picking up as she struggled to comprehend the significance of the sudden activity.

With a sense of urgency, Carina rose from her seat, her hand outstretched toward y/n's shoulder. Her touch was gentle yet firm, a silent plea for the slumbering figure to awaken. Meanwhile, Maya leaned in towards Leah, her voice a soothing murmur amidst the tension, explaining the possible cause of y/n's distress—a nightmare, triggering an alarming spike in her heart rate.

"Bambina, wake up," Carina's voice cut through the silence, laced with a mixture of concern and reassurance. "Everything is alright. Maya and I are here. Leah is also here with us, but you need to open your eyes to see she really is here. You are okay. You are okay. Bambina, c’mon."

As sweat glistened on y/n's forehead, her features contorted in the grip of her subconscious torment, she struggled to surface from the depths of her nightmare. Carina's words echoed faintly in her mind, but it was another voice—a voice she recognized and cherished—that pierced through the darkness, calling her back to consciousness.

"Hey cookie monster," Leah's voice was a beacon in the darkness, a lifeline for y/n to grasp onto. "I’m here. I just landed not long ago, but I am here holding your hand. I need you to open your eyes."

With each word of encouragement from Leah, y/n felt herself slowly breaking free from the nightmare's grasp, her consciousness emerging. And then, with a sudden jolt, she jerked awake, her eyes darting around the unfamiliar surroundings until they landed on the familiar face of her girlfriend.

Leah's hands cupped y/n’s cheeks, their foreheads pressing together in an intimate gesture of comfort. "You’re hot," Leah remarked, a hint of concern tainting her usual playful tone.

"I’m in a hospital gown," y/n chuckled weakly, trying to brush off Leah's observation with humor. But Leah's expression remained serious as she turned to Carina, voicing her suspicions.

"I think she’s running a fever," Leah said, her voice tinged with worry.

Carina wasted no time, her movements swift and decisive as she pressed the back of her hand against y/n’s forehead, confirming Leah's assessment with a muttered curse in Italian. Without hesitation, she retrieved a thermometer, her brow furrowed in concern as she watched the digital display reveal a temperature of 102.1.

“I’ll go grab a nurse to page Shepherd and Bailey.” Maya rushes out. 

“Y/n, do you feel off at all?” Carina asks. 

“I’m just exhausted and cold. Leah, hold me.” Y/n pleads. Leah doesn’t hesitate to sit on the bed and pull y/n in her arms, feeling her visibly shake. 

As y/n's fever began to become known, she found herself sinking deeper into exhaustion, the weight of her illness pressing down on her like a leaden blanket. Despite Leah's comforting presence, a sense of unease gnawed at her insides, the fear of the unknown threatening to overwhelm her fragile resolve.

Leah sensed the shift in y/n's demeanor, her brows furrowing with concern as she watched the color drain from her cheeks. "Hey, are you okay?" she asked softly, her voice laced with worry.

Y/n forced a weak smile, but her eyes betrayed her inner turmoil. "I'm just tired," she murmured, her voice barely audible above the hum of activity in the room.

Leah's grip tightened on y/n's hand, her concern deepening with each passing moment. "You're not alone, you know," she said gently. "We're all here for you, whatever you need."

Y/n nodded faintly, but a flicker of panic danced in her eyes as a wave of exhaustion washed over her, threatening to drag her under. "I don't know if I can do this," she confessed, her voice trembling with uncertainty. "I'm so tired, Leah, and I'm scared."

Leah's heart clenched at the vulnerability in y/n's voice, her own fears momentarily forgotten as she focused on comforting her girlfriend. "You don't have to do it alone," she reassured her, her voice steady despite the turmoil raging within her. “One step at a time. You worry about kicking that fever off first.” 

But even as Leah spoke the words, she could see the doubt lingering in y/n's eyes, the fear of what lay ahead threatening to consume her from within. With a heavy heart, Leah leaned in closer, her forehead pressing against y/n's as she whispered words of comfort and reassurance.

Meanwhile, Maya and Carina exchanged worried glances, their hearts heavy with concern for their friend. Despite their best efforts, they could see the toll y/n's accident and now fever was taking on her, the exhaustion evident in every line of her face.

"We need to keep a close eye on her," Maya murmured, her voice tense with worry. "The fever seems to be exacerbating her anxiety, and if she's not careful..."

Carina nodded grimly, her thoughts mirroring Maya's. "We can't let her slip through the cracks," she agreed, her gaze never leaving y/n's pale face. “We will handle this together, my love. We won’t have her go back to that mindset. We have done it before.” 

[thequeenofneverland1]

Kol Mikaelson////Bound by Love

Anonymous request: Can I a request a story Kol Mikaelson falling in love with Davina’s little sister and Davina and Marcel not approving of the relationship when they find out that Y/n and Kol ore dating both Davina and Marcel warns Kol and his family to stay away from Y/n but obviously he doesn’t so something leads that Marcel kicks out Y/n you can choose how to end it and thank you :)

Warnings: Betrayal and manipulation by family members, Banishment and exile from a community, Emotional distress and sadness, Family conflict and confrontation,Jealousy and tension between siblings, Betrayal and consequences of actions, Loss of trust and break of relationships, Emotional manipulation and pleading for help, Family members being escorted out of a community, Consequences of betrayal and actions, Tension and conflict between family members, Abandonment and rejection by loved ones

Please take care while reading this story, as it contains sensitive themes and emotional content. If you feel triggered or overwhelmed, please reach out to a support system or mental health professional for assistance and take a break.

the Mystical town of New Orleans, Kol Mikaelson found himself falling head over the younger sister of Davina Claire. You were kind-hearted and spirited, causing him to fall in love with your infectious laughter and unwavering loyalty.

But when Davina and Marcel Gerard discovered the budding relationship between Kol and you, they were less than pleased. They believed Kol to be a troublemaker, prone to chaos and destruction, and they did not want you to be caught up in his web.

"You know Kol's history, Davina," Marcel warned, his voice filled with concern. "He may claim to love your sister now, but how long before he shows his true colors?"

Davina nodded solemnly, her face clouded with worry. "I don't want her to get hurt, Marcel. We have to do something before it's too late."

Kol entered the room as he waited for you, only to hear Marcel and Davina talking about him. "We need to put a stop to this. Kol can't be trusted."

"You're right. Y/n deserves better than to get involved with a Mikaelson." She tells him.

With a solemn attitude, Kol emerged from behind the door. "I was unable to resist listening in on your talk. I know you're worried, but I'm not going to avoid Y/n. I'm not going to allow anyone to stop me from loving her."

Marcel exchanged a look of surprise with Davina. “You have no idea what you're getting yourself into.”

"Maybe not, but I'm willing to take that risk for Y/n and for our love." Kol states

"How can we be certain that you're not merely taking advantage of her?” He asked, “ We all know how highly your family values power, and she is a powerful witch."

"I can promise you that my feelings for Y/n are sincere, but I do understand your concern. However Her power doesn't pique my attention. I love her just the way she is." Kol states again.

Not believing him, Davina shakes her head. “Additionally, who's to say you won't turn on her when the time is right? Betrayal is ingrained in the Mikaelson family's heritage."

"I know my family has done some terrible things, but I'm not my family. I'm my own person, and I've changed. I want to be someone that Y/n can rely on." Saying this, Kol hopes that they will believe him.

"Words are cheap." Marcel says and Davina nods in agreement

You entered the room, a confused look on your face, you noticed that they got quiet "What's going on? Why does it feel like I walked in on something?"

Marcel and Davina exchanged a glance, unsure of what to say. “Well?”

Kol approaches you while wearing an unhappy face "They were just telling me to stay away from you, Y/n. They think I'm using you for your power."

Your expression turned to anger as you turned to your sister and Marcel. "How dare you? Kol loves me, and I love him. And you have no right to interfere in our relationship."

“Y/n, we’re just trying to protect you.” She tells you.

"I'm not in need of your defense.” You respond, "I need you guys to trust me to make my own decisions and to respect my choices."

You turned over to Kol, "I'm sorry that they're putting you through this. I believe you, Kol. And I trust that your feelings for me are genuine."

"Thank you, darling," Kol grinned. “For me, that is very important. They won't be able to separate us, but I swear to do everything in my power to earn their trust."

“Y/n, we're only thinking about what's best for you. Is it really that wrong that we were cautious about a Mikaelson?" Without attempting to enrage you, Marcel tells you

"No, I can't blame you. But I can ask you to give Kol a chance. He's not his family, and he deserves to be judged on his own merits." You let him know that you understood that his only concern was for your protection

“Okay, all right. However, he will be held accountable to us if he harms you." Your sister gives you a warm smile.

You gave her a smile in return, "fair enough. However, I feel that's not a concern for us."

Kol grinned at you and took your hand, giving it a comforting squeeze before you both left.

"I still don't trust him, Davina," Marcel tells her as they watch Kol and you leave. “He is a Mikaelson, and they are infamous for their deception."

She folded her arms. "Yes, Marcel, I am aware. However, Y/n seems to sincerely love him, and we are powerless to stop her from loving him.”

"I know that but I just don't want her to get hurt. And if Kol does anything to hurt her, I swear I'll make him regret it." He declares

"I feel the same way, Marcel. But for now, we need to give them some space. My sister is a smart woman, and I'm sure she'll make the right decision." She informs him.

"I hope you're right, Davina.” he adds, trying to hide his worries about you. “Because if Kol crosses us, he'll have hell to pay."

“I believe he is aware of it. If he's intelligent, he'll go above and beyond to convince us of his worth." She chuckles as she shakes her head at how theatrical he is being.

Klaus entered the room with a smirk on his face as Marcel and Davina were wrapping up their talk. "Ah, Davina, Marcel. You two were talking about my brother and your beloved sister, and I couldn't help but listen."

"Klaus, what do you want?" Marcel expresses his obvious displeasure that Klaus entered the home without authorization.

Klaus smirks. “Oh stop, I'm just stopping over to say congrats. It appears that my brother has gained Y/n's affection. And he's really in love with her, I have to admit."

"Klaus, you and your siblings don't have our trust." Your sister gives him a furious stare.

He rolls his eyes. “Yes, I'm well aware. But you might be surprised by what Kol is capable of when he puts his mind to it. He may be a Mikaelson, but he's also his own person. But Rather than that, you guys can trust us."

"Klaus, all your family has done is bring suffering and devastation. What makes any of you worthy of our trust?” Marcel declared he didn't give a damn whether he enraged Klaus or not

Klaus narrows his eyes as he walks over to him. "Careful, Marcel. You may be powerful, but don't forget who holds the cards here."

Refusing to back down, He tells Klaus, "I'm not afraid of you, Klaus, You'll have to deal with all of us if your brother harms Y/n”

"Ah, such loyalty.” Klaus began laughing. “But be warned, Marcel. I won't hesitate to protect my family, even from you. And if Kol loves Y/n as much as you claim, I'm sure he won't hesitate either."

“We'll do whatever it takes to protect Y/n, Klaus. Even from you and your brother."

"Very well, then. Let the games begin." He declares.

"We mean it, Klaus. Keep your family away from Y/n. We won't tolerate any interference from the Mikaelsons." Your sister warns him.

"Davina, you really need to get better at picking your battles. You're in no position to make demands of me or my family." He tries to go in front of your sister while telling your sister, but Marcel moves in front of her. “We're not afraid of you, Klaus. And we'll do whatever it takes to protect Y/n."

"Very well, Marcel. But don't forget, I have eyes and ears everywhere. And if I catch wind of any harm coming to my brother or Y/n, there will be consequences."

She shook her head. "We're not the ones you need to worry about, Klaus. It's your family's reputation that precedes you."

"And besides, I doubt Y/n would appreciate you speaking for her, Marcel. She's a strong, independent young woman who can make her own choices. And if she's chosen to be with my brother, it's because she sees something in him that you clearly cannot."

Marcel lashes out, saying, "Klaus, you think you know everything. But take note. you will suffer consequences if your family hurts Y/n."

Klaus chuckles once more. "Oh, Marcel, I've made my share of payments. And if it means defending my loved ones and myself, I'll be happy to repay them. I have to take care of some more pressing affairs, so please excuse me."

“Naturally, by arranging with your brother to take advantage of her and make her go insane.” Your sister yells at him.

"Become insane? Oh, please. Given Y/n's strength as a witch, why would we ever wish to hurt her? She's significant to me and the rest of my siblings because she's important to my brother." He informs both of them.

Marcel chuckles, obviously not buying it. "Klaus, you've hurt a lot of people who were significant to other people in the past. What makes us think you would treat Y/n any differently?”

She gives Marcel a nod of approval "We won't take any chances when it comes to Y/n's safety. She must not be around you and your family, or else there will be consequences .”

His eyebrows shot up. "Davina, is that a threat? If that's the case, I advise you to carefully consider what you say next. You don't want my family and I to become your enemies. Or maybe my brother and my family aren't the source of your issue at all. Maybe you're simply jealous that Kol chose Y/n instead of you. Seeing your younger sister with the man you desire for yourself must be difficult."

"How dare you!" she yells at him, furious. “You have no idea who I am or what I'm into."

He grinned, "I guess I know more than you think. You're not as adept at controlling your emotions as you believe you are. Additionally, if I were you, I would exercise caution when making enemies of people who are able to see right through you."

"Enough, Klaus. You've made your point. Now leave us alone." Marcel leads him to the door

"Davina, there's one more thing. It's fortunate that my brother picked Y/n over you. You're not worthy of him or any member of my family. On the other hand, let's simply say that your sister is everything and you're not." He conveys to her

"Leave!" she fiercely gestures toward the door.

He laughs. "As you wish. But keep in mind that I'll stop at nothing to keep Y/n and my brother safe. My brother loves Y/n. Therefore, don't cross my family or me. The outcomes won't be to your liking."Before leaving, he issues the warning.

“That arrogant, self-righteous, son of a..."she furiously tries to say but she gets stopped by Marce placing a hand on her shoulder. "Davina, calm down. He's not worth it."

"How can I calm down after everything he just said?" she asks, staring at him foolishly.” He essentially threatened me and called me worthless."

"I know, but getting worked up about it won't help. We need to focus on protecting Y/n, not on getting revenge on Klaus."

"But he can't just get away with saying those things!"

"I promise you, Davina. He'll have his desserts. However, let's keep Y/n secure from him and his family for the time being." He smiles and comforts her, "But for now, I'm going to go talk to Rebekah, and hopefully she can help us."

Rebekah nods in agreement with Klaus's statement. “I regret to inform you that my brother is correct in two particular regards. Even though Davina won't acknowledge it, she does feel something for Kol. Marcel, let's be honest. Y/n is more attractive and intelligent than Davina could ever be. It makes sense that Kol choose her over her sister."

Marcel is furious that his beloved agrees with her brother, "Rebekah, that's not fair.Davina has gone through a lot."

She shrugs her shoulders."everyone has. she’s not the only one. But whose fault is that? Davina made her own choices, just like Y/n has. And if she's jealous of her sister, well, that's her problem, not mine."

He sighs. "I don't know what to do, Rebekah. I want to protect Y/n, but I don't want to drive her away."

She rolls her eyes. "Then maybe you should stop listening to Davina and start listening to your heart. Sometimes the best way to protect someone is to give them the space they need to make their own mistakes."

Rebekah knocks on Klaus's door "Hey, big brother. Mind if I come in?"

Klaus smiles "Ah, sister. To what do I owe this honor?"

She sat down on the bed. “Marcel was here and we were talking. And you were right. Davina is jealous of Y/n."

He nods "Of course she is. Davina's always been a bit of a wild card. And Y/n... well, let's just say she's a rare gem, even by Mikaelson standards."

She smiles at the thought of you. "I know. She's smart, beautiful, and completely fearless. It's no wonder Kol fell for her."

"Indeed. And if Marcel and Davina aren't careful, they're going to push her right into our brother’s arms. Not that I'm complaining, of course."

"I know.”

He expresses concern to his sister "Maybe we ought to monitor Y/n more closely. I wouldn't rule out Davina making a stupid attempt."

"You're right," she nods. “It's not like Davina is known for her self control. However, caution will be required. We want Y/n to not feel as though we are suffocating her.”

“I concur. We'll need to keep our distance. However, not even Davina will be allowed to jeopardize my brother's happiness." He informs his sister of the consequences.

She smiles at her brother, "You really have taken a shine to Y/n, haven't you, brother?"

He shrugs his shoulders with a smile."What can I say? She's a remarkable young woman. And she makes Kol happy. That's enough for me."

"What? Davina is envious of Y/n? That's unbelievable.” Kol says, quite unexpectedly.

"Brother, believe it. And we must exercise caution. I refuse to allow Davina or anybody else to jeopardize Y/n's security." He informs him.

Kol declares emphatically, "Brother, neither will I. I'll stop at nothing to keep Y/n safe, even if it means putting my life in danger."

"It's so sweet to see you so smitten, Kol," Rebekah says with a smile. “But maintain your vigilance. Davina is erratic, and we never know what she will do.”

Kol gave a nod. "Sister, I won't. I swear. I'm completely devoted to Y/n, and I won't allow anything or anyone stand in our way."

You were initially skeptical of Kol's claims, but eventually started to see the possibility of your sister's jealousy. “Davina is jealous of me? No way. She's my sister, she wouldn't do something like that."

“I know it's difficult to accept, darling. Klaus and Rebekah are sure And I'm concerned about her potential actions." Kol informs you

"I... I don't know," you scowl. “Although Davina might be erratic, I never imagined that she would feel jealous of me. particularly with a man."

He took your hand. "Listen, darling. No matter what happens, you have to know that I love you. And only you. Your sister doesn't factor into this at all."

You gave a sorrowful smile. "Regards, Kol. You do, I'm sure. I simply never imagined my own sister could be that self-centered, and I love you too."

You decided to confront your sister about her alleged "Davina, is it true? That you are jealous about me and Koi?"

"What? No, of course not! How could you even think that?" Davina asked shocked

You shrugged your shoulders "I don't know what to think, sister. But Klaus and Rebekah seem to think you are."

Your sister angrily tells you. “They're lying to you, Y/n! They're trying to turn you against me because they're afraid of how powerful we are together."

"I don't know, Davina. I just want to know the truth." You said confused

Davina pleaded to you. “The truth is that I love you, sister . And I would never do anything to hurt you. Please, don't believe what Klaus and Rebekah are saying. They're just trying to manipulate you.”

As you recalled Davina's previous attempts to make Kol jealous, you realizes that your sister's behavior aligns with Klaus and Rebekah's claims were true

Davina gazed into your eyes with tears in them. "Y/n, no. You must have faith in me. I'm not envious. You're my sister, please. Nobody knows me as you do."

You shook your head “I don't know, Davina. I want to believe you, but... (you pauses, remembering Davina's previous behavior) …”that's why you asked if I had a guy friend for you to date. You were trying to make Kol jealous, weren't you?"

She was stuttering. "No... no... I….I just wanted to get his attention.It was not intended to be meaningful.”

You cast a somber glance at her. “I adore you, sister, but Klaus and Rebekah are correct. You're envious of Kol and me. And that's unacceptable.”

"Enough, all of you! Can't you see that this is tearing Y/n and her sister apart?" Marcel tells the three of you and he turns to look at you, his face full of anger. "You know what, Y/n? I thought you were better than this. You're not family, and you never will be. Get out."

"Marcel, what are you saying?" you questioned in shock. “I can't just be kicked out!"

He angrily tells you. "I can, and I will. Davina's my family, and I won't have you causing her pain."

Kol intervenes to protect you. "Marcel, stop up! Y/n isn't to blame for this. It was Davina who started this whole thing.”

He ignores Kol and he points to the door. “I don't care, Kol. Y/n's no longer welcome here. Now leave, before I make you."

"Fine, Marcel. I'll go. But you're making a big mistake." You said leaving as Kol comforted you. “Shh darling I’m here.”

Upon arriving at the Mikaelson mansion, Kol and you are warmly welcomed by the Mikaelson family, who make it clear that you are now one of them.

Elijah greets you with a smile. "Welcome, Y/n. We're so glad you're here. Please, make yourself at home."

Klaus smiles at you as well. “Indeed, Y/n. You're family now, and we protect our own."

Rebekah hugs you. "Marcel's a fool for kicking you out. But don't worry, we'll take good care of you here Sweetie."

Kol holding your hand. “I told you, darling. You belong here with us. You're a Mikaelson now, always and forever."

You were overwhelmed. "Thank you all so much. I don't know what I would have done without you."

One year later, Kol and your love for each other has only grown stronger, and the two of you decide to tie the knot. While the absence of your sister and Marcel brings you sadness, your new family is here to support you on your special day.

The wedding ceremony is beautiful, with you looking radiant in your dress and Kol beaming with pride as he watches you walk down the aisle with his two brothers. However, as the ceremony progresses, you can't help but feel a pang of sadness as you notices the empty seats where Davina and Marcel should be

Kol noticed your sadness. “Darling, what's wrong? This is our big day. You should be happy."

You carefully wipe off your tears trying to not ruin your makeup. "I know, Kol. I'm just sad that my sister and Marcel couldn't be here. I miss them."

Klaus stepped in since he overheard you. "Don't worry, Y/n. We're your family now, and we'll always be here for you. Today is about you and Kol, and no one else."

Rebekah pulled you into a warm hug. "Don't let them ruin this day for you, sister. You deserve to be happy, and we're here to make sure you are."

Elijah smiles as he nods. "Indeed, Y/n. Today is a celebration of your love for Kol, and our love for you. Let's make it a day to remember."

You smiled back. "Thank you all so much. I'm so lucky to have you as my family."

Kol takes your hand. “darling like I told you. You're a Mikaelson. And that means you're never alone."

As the ceremony continues, your sadness gradually fades, replaced by the joy and love of your family. Together, they celebrate the union of Kol and you, and the beginning of a new chapter in their lives.

Months later, you and your are out in the city when you guys witness a surprising turn of events. Davina and Marcel, who had been absent from your life for some time, are being banished from the city. Despite the tension between them, you feel compelled to confront your ister and former friend.

You guys watched as Davina and Marcel are escorted out of the city, their belongings scattered behind them. Davina catches sight of you and tries to approach you, but the Kol and his siblings step in to protect you

Kol defensively tells her. "Stay back, Davina. You've done enough damage."

"Please, Y/n. I just want to talk to you."Davina pleaded

"It's alright, guys. I can handle this." You told them.

Klaus looks at you unsure. "Are you sure, Y/n? We don't want you to get hurt."

You nodded . "I'm sure. Davina's my sister, after all. I need to face her."

Davina reveals the reason behind their banishment, which involves Marcel's wrongdoing. "It's all Marcel's fault, Y/n. He made a deal with the enemy behind our backs, betraying our coven and putting everyone at risk. When the elders found out, they banished us both from the city."

you looked at him, shocked “Marcel, is this true?"

He defensively puts his hands up in the air. "I did what I had to do, Y/n. They were threatening to expose us to the humans. I had no choice."

You angrily yelled at him." So you sold out your own people? How could you do that, Marcel?"

Your sister pleaded to you as she got on her knees “Please, Y/n. You have to help us. We have nowhere else to go."

You let out a sigh. “I don't know, Davina. You both betrayed me. Why should I help you now?"

Davina and Marcel beg you for help, hoping that your connections with powerful people could offer them a lifeline. However, your loyalty now lies with your family, who have stood by your side when Davina and Marcel didn't.

She starts to cry, “please, Y/n. We need you. You know powerful people. You can convince them to help us."

You shook your head. "I'm sorry, sister. But I'm not going to betray them like you betrayed me. They're my family, and I won't turn my back on them."

Marcel angrily tells you. “So that's it? You're just going to leave us out here to fend for ourselves?"

You firmly back at him. "You made your choices, Marcel. And you have to live with the consequences. Good luck to both of you."

As you walk away from your sister and Marcel, Klaus can't resist a final parting shot, emphasizing the consequences of their actions. "I did warn you, didn't I? But you chose to ignore me. Now look where it's gotten you. You should have listened to me, and maybe things would have turned out differently."

Davina scowling. "Shut up, Klaus. This is all your fault."

Klaus laughs. “Oh, please. You're the ones who dug your own graves. Don't blame me for your own stupidity."

Rebekah turned over to Kol. "Come on, get Y/n out of here. She doesn't need to see any more of this."

Kol nods at his sister."You're right.” And he takes your hand. “Let's go, darling.”

As Kol and you walk away from the confrontation with Davina and Marcel, Kol decides to lighten the mood by revealing a surprise for you.

He grinned at you. "Hey, darling . I know that was a tough situation, but I've got something that might cheer you up.”

You asked curiously. "Oh? And what might that be?"

He teases. you. “Well, you'll just have to wait and see. But I promise it'll be worth it."

You smiled. “You're such a tease, Kol Mikaelson. But I'm intrigued. What's this surprise?"

He laughs. "Patience, Y/n Mikaelson. All will be revealed in due time."

As Kol and you continued walking, you can't help but smile at Kol's playfulness, grateful for his ability to lift your pirits even in difficult times.

Kol leads you to your surprise, keeping your yes covered until the two of you arrive at the destination. When he finally reveals the surprise, it's a beautiful house that he has acquired for him and you. Kol explains his reasoning behind the gesture, which elicits a laugh from you.

You laughed at him. “Oh, Kol. You really think the interruptions will stop just because we have our own house?"

He nods with a smile. "A man can dream, can't he? But seriously, I want us to have our own space, where we can be alone together whenever we want."

You smiled. "That sounds wonderful, Kol. Thank you."

Kol and you shared a kiss. "Anything for you, my darling. Now, shall we go inside and explore our new home?"

Together, Kol and you enter the house, excited to begin this new chapter of yours and his lives together

As Kol and you are about to enjoy the new home alone, Klaus, Elijah and Rebekah unexpectedly show up, much to Kol's chagrin. They continue their playful teasing, indicating that the interruptions might not be over just yet.

Klaus walks in with a smirk on his face. "Hey guys, we brought pizza!"

With Rebekah and Elijah following Klaus. "And wine, of course. Can't forget the wine."

Kol groans. "Really, guys? You're gonna do this here, too?"

Rebekah laughs with Klaus and Elijah. "Yup!"

You smiled. "Well, as long as there's pizza and wine, I'm not complaining."

The five of you all settle in to enjoy the meal together, relishing in the family bond and the lighthearted moments that you and your family share

[changingplumbob]

A Guide to my Content Warnings

Please note I will not label posts simply for having LGBTQIA+ characters because a)I'd probably label every post and b)LGBTQIA+ people exist, I'm one of them. We're not going anywhere and if our existence offends you I humbly invite you to unfollow me.

Most of the time my stories are in the G/PG realm but occasionally they'll drift into the M realm, or mention topics which may be hard for some people. I thought I'd make this guide to attach to my future posts with content warnings (cw) so you know what to expect. I do overuse content warnings but I'd rather take the time than have someone be surprised in a way that will muck up their day. If you feel I haven't labelled something I should have that occurs in my stories just let me know.

Common or repeated topics are

Low Level Sim Spice Moderate Sim Spice Mentions/Discussions of Death Pet and/or Sim Death Mentions of Violence Distressed Infant/Toddler/Child Language Mental Health Struggles

Low Level Sim Spice

My sims being extra flirty. Usually contains innuendo or talk of what they want their woohoo to be like. It also includes sims using suggestive language.

Examples

Rahul: *chuckles and winks* Later, we’ve got to get these ones sorted. But you are also looking very tasty Mrs Chopra. So maybe we’ll both have some private dining later Samir: Jerk. Almost makes me want to bend you over the table just to spite him Reece: I mean you could and I would endorse such action

Moderate Sim Spice

Contains a scene with woohoo that's more than the sims disappearing under the covers. Will sometimes have what sims are saying as they woohoo or vague descriptions of their actions.

Examples

Rahul manages to maintain his composure until she begins to slide his fingers into her mouth and his lust overcomes him. Now he knew every sigh, shiver and squeal Cassandra made meant that she loved him. Tuesday: You see how I did that, you try Monica: But will he really like that Joey: Most guys do Tuesday: Trust me. A girl can do a heck of a lot just by playing with things in her mouth

Images will not show pixel parts (genitalia or female nipples) but occur during woohoo.

Examples

Mentions/Discussions of Death

There will be mention or discussion of a sim having passed away. Sims may also talk about how the loss affected them.

Examples

Charlie is understandably devastated. She had Allie for half of her own life, and doesn’t have many happy memories that don’t include the dog. Marta: I didn’t have to leave after padre and mama died. I had the community still but I felt alone

Pet and/or Sim Death

Either a pet or sim dies. I have changed to NOT show the pet/sim when dead, but my older content may have a few dead human sims. I normally show a photo on the wall of them and/or the urn. When my characters die they go to the timeless save where they are young so this will also be shown.

Examples

In the early hours Allie crosses the rainbow bridge After taking Sachiko’s remains to the cemetery... Indeed, a hop skip and jump later he’s in the timeless save with his mum and fellow litter mates. Dale happily plays at peace... Olive: All sims deserve to rest, no matter what they have or have not done

Mentions of Violence

I don't like to show violence, the most you'll get from me is the clouds when sims fight. However some of my sims have had violence in their pasts. Mentions can range from stating what happened to more vivid descriptions but these will not be shown.

Examples

Unfortunately Joey is knocked down before he can get a word out. Liam yells and charges at Keira, beginning an all out brawl. I’m sorry to say Othman was in several pieces, and the blood pools around him appeared to have been walked through.

Distressed Infant/Toddler/Child

No one enjoys seeing a kid panicking so I like to warn people before hand if it will be more than the usual tummy time or night night time crying.

Examples

Viola sniffles and wipes her tears from under her glasses. Why won’t this lady just pick her up? She loves being carried and desperately wants a cuddle. Tiana panics... She is alone again! Feeling betrayed she bursts into tears.

Language

Most of the time I do enjoy keeping the vocab family friendly as that's what I enjoy reading. But with some of my side projects the characters feel like they swear so I will be letting some of them use mild swearing.

Mental Health Struggles

I like to flag these so that anyone having a tough day can get a heads up. Generally it will be mentioning a sim struggles with depression or anxiety. There may be descriptions of their moods, thought patterns or conditions. This will not include suicidal thoughts.

[transmutationisms]

i don’t mean this as a gotcha but as a serious question that i do think is relevant to a lot of people who experience mental distress, especially chronically — what alternative is there to a provider-client relationship for people who are not capable/do not have the privilege of having people willing to do that work for free? like, some people (a lot of people right now) fall completely through the cracks and don’t have those kinds of connections. there are going to be people who are personally unpleasant to be around for any number of reasons who aren’t going to be able to maintain those kind of connections (not necessarily for casual social outlet and connection but for deep community integration necessary to having that care provided freely) and. idk. i think these people need and deserve care, i know that a lot of us who aren’t well are a couple bad breaks away from this position, and while i’m on board with anti-psych and a systemic critique of medicine as its practiced, i think relying on “communities of care” without safety nets and carveouts for the most vulnerable and least supported is kind of reasserting feudal/family ties, just, like, outside of genetic constructions (if you can’t cut it in the family -> in the polycule, who’s going to take care of you? and etc) (sorry if this doesn’t make any sense)

dw, i don't read this as a gotcha---it's an important point of clarification. when i talk about 'community support' or w/e i mean to contrast this to our current system in which care comes from a capitalist state, state funding, and medical authorities that are legitimated by and ultimately also working as part of the state apparatus. what i DON'T mean to suggest is that care should be exclusively informal or depend on a person's social ties. you can be the most friendless person in the world and you still need to have access to an infrastructure of care; that resource cannot depend on people liking you and voluntarily showing up for you. caring for our friends and loved ones is great but that's never going to be sufficient as a sole answer here for like a whole host of reasons.

[boosaot]

Sleep deprived brain made an OC cuz I remembered dethklok’s song “sewn back together wrong” and tada not fully based off the song but it sparked the idea a lil bit.

CW/TW: Eating Disorder, Cotard’s Syndrome, Paranoid Delusions about Bugs and being “living dead”, Rot/Mold mention. Religious themes / trauma(?).

Nothing SUPER descriptive but just take this with caution yknow

-

Tristan Rêne Martel

Age: 23

Male

American (French roots)

Suffers from Cotard’s Syndrome

Grew up in a heavily religious family (Father a Deacon, Mother the owner of a Catering business, Older Sister by 2 years and Younger Brother by 5 years.)

Almost died drowning while out boating with his family as a 17 year old, due to lack of oxygen he fell into a vegetative state for 6 years. His family constantly prayed over him and believes its a miracle he regained consciousness and recovered. Tristan sees his reawakening as a a curse and believes that his soul passed on but God brought him back because of how devoted his family was.

The feeling of emptiness and prior undiagnosed mental health issues coupled with the trauma of his situation has him living in delusions where he is under the impression he’s a living corpse of sorts. He fears it’s only a matter of time before the hole where his soul used to be eats him from the inside out and that theres maggots and rot inside him due to him being “dead” for so long.

Fear of eating because he think’s he’s nourishing the maggots/insects/parasites inside his body. He switches between not eating in hopes it’ll starve the intruders to death but mistakes the hunger pangs as him being eaten from the inside out. Due to his poor eating habits he lacks energy and attributes this to his decaying body getting closer to death.

Despite his existence being nothing but suffering for him he wants to live long enough to be reunited with his soul so that he can be cleansed of the rot that’s consuming his body. He prays every night for God to tell him what he can do to have forgiveness because he wants to be able to die and go to heaven with his family when the time comes.

Avoids his family out of fear he might spread his rot and decay onto them and wants nothing more than to keep them safe from his fate. If he’s going out he will always wear latex gloves and a mask incase he’s contagious.

He spends most of his time in graveyards because he believes he doesn’t deserves to be around the living because if he does get consumed by his rot it’s cruel to build relationships that end with loss. He also has hallucinations/delusions that on one hand he’s making friends with the corpses that he will soon lay with but on the other hand he has to be wary that no wandering souls will try and fill the void he has and possess him.

Avoids mirrors because he doesn’t want to see any signs of his decaying corpse. Has a fear of bleeding due to him thinking his blood might infect his family with his decay and corrupt their souls. He’s also afraid that he might let out the insects and maggots living under his skin and they might infest the house. If he becomes too aware of his pulse he assumes they’re trying to escape from under his skin. (Causes him a lot of distress because he wants them out from under his skin so he will often scratch at himself until he draws blood but then when hes more clear minded he fears (once again) that he's infected the area so he obsessively cleans afterwards)

(Gna have to tweak this and work on it when im not half asleep but yuhg 🛏️🏃💤)

[girl4music]

This is why Willow Rosenberg is such an important character in ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’ and why she’s so relatable and resonatable. Imposter syndrome may not be the only mental condition she has but it is arguably the first one she has - which means that every other stems from it and is manifested because of it. Power corruption, addiction, repressed sadism, consent issues, OCD, anxiety disorders,… the lot.

All of it is informed by her simply believing like she doesn’t belong and doesn’t deserve and isn’t worthy. This condition is a problem for her right from the start of the show. In her very first interaction with Buffy she is already in that state of mind where her extremely poor self esteem is informing everything she does and says about herself, about other people, about the world and her involvement in it. She doesn’t have any friends besides Xander and the soon-to-be-dead Jesse. Xander is also someone who is viewed as a geek and a loser and so she feels comfortable with him. She knows that she belongs in his friend group. But as soon as Buffy comes along - it’s a different story because she comes along with Cordelia. The most popular girl at Sunnydale High and her bully. Before Willow knows anything about Buffy being the Slayer she already automatically understands that Buffy is off-limits and she has no right to be around her. Internalizing her geek and loser status as “wrong” for her. And so when Buffy comes up to her and asks her for help later, Willow just thinks she wants her to move. That she wants her to disappear so she can sit in her space. She already and immediately thinks that Buffy is “someone” and she isn’t. She is just nothing.

When they become friends at the end of the episode and she is now following her around and being her “Slayerette” she makes herself useful to her however way she can. But the feelings of doubt that she actually cares about her and wants to be her friend still linger. And they linger all the way up until we get a proper look-in to her mind in Season 4 with ‘Restless’. In her dream we are privy to things we wouldn’t ever be otherwise. The way she truly thinks and feels about herself and everyone else. The way she perceives of herself and everyone else. She’s not the heroine that saves the day. She’s the damsel in distress. She’s the helpless victim. She’s not the one everybody relies on. She’s the one everybody stares and laughs at. She’s the one exposed for being nothing at all. She’s just a sham, a fraud, an imposter. She’s just playing a role.

This condition is never resolved in her arc in the show even though it’s an on-going condition right up until the very end of it. Willow’s arc is never fully concluded. She has a good endgame. Don’t get me wrong. I really did like what they did with it. Had her settle with being the “BIG GUN” only by activating all the Potentials. I thought it was good. But it wasn’t enough. That big gaping hole of where and why her insecurities and anxieties started was never addressed properly and therefore not explored to make her endgame earned. Willow’s initial and foundational condition was imposter syndrome and because they didn’t address and explore this, then ‘Light Willow’ or whatever THAT Willow was was just a symbol and not an evolution.

The thing about the condition of imposter syndrome is that the person is never an actual imposter. It’s just that they believe that they are and it only affects their whole life because they believe it. It’s a self-corruption and self-sabotage. It is a mental condition. It doesn’t exist in external and objective reality. It’s made up. And it’s true, people can become the worst of people because of that of which they believe of themselves. They can destroy their whole life - their relationships, their environment, their well being - because of it. But the honest truth of it is that it is not real. And if it is not real than it is not you… Because you are real. You exist. You are an external and objective existence. You can only do the best you can in the moment. Let go of control and let somebody else carry you for a change. There’s nothing wrong with you other than what you let be wrong with you. Other than what you believe is.

[oh-bunny-dearest]

Depressing Risotto things (tw: abuse, suicide attempt/suicidal thoughts, self-harm)

Risotto’s mom died in childbirth which (along with his strange eyes that his extremely religious family considered demonic) caused his family to neglect and abuse him, constantly blaming him for his mother’s death and constantly making remarks about how they wished he was the one that dies instead.

Being with his cousin (my hc = cousin is 13 years older and took care of Risotto a lot) was his only refuge. In his mind, his cousin hung the moon and stars.

This made his cousin's death all the more life-shattering and devastating to Risotto.

His family blamed the death on Risotto and he deeply internalized the guilt.

He was already cutting before but his cousin's death made it significantly worse.

He attempted suicide but failed. Incidentally, the drunk driver’s trial came to a conclusion on that day and furious at the light sentence, he decides he can’t die before getting revenge.

After killing the man, Risotto planned on killing himself, but Gelato found him and saw potential and convinced him to join Passione (which Risotto agreed to because Gelato wasn’t scared of him unlike everyone else growing up).

When he worked his way up to the Assassination Team, the group consisted of Prosciutto, Formaggio, and Gelato and Sorbet and was disjointed. He was incredibly quiet and reclusive and believed Pros and Maggio despised him (which was fair enough in his eyes because he hated himself too) but eventually things cleared up and he stepped up to the position of leader. Gelato and Sorbet supported him from the beginning and Risotto felt for the first time that someone other than his cousin cared about him.

Though he’s much less isolated than in childhood, Risotto continued to suffer from depression and regularly cut, especially if one of his team members got injured. No matter the circumstances he felt like it was his fault.

He doesn’t care in the slightest about being mistreated by the higher ups but he refuses to allow that for his team who he considers family.

Makes sure that the team always gets paid before him.

Keeps his feelings bottled. Feels like he doesn’t deserve to talk about them because he believes that the other Squadra members have been through worse and because he doesn’t think he deserves good things anyways. (Yes, I know suffering isn’t a contest but it doesn’t stop the thoughts from popping up ok just let me project )

Risotto was devastated when Gelato and Sorbet died and frequently contemplated ending it all but felt responsible for his team.

When his team began losing more and more members trying to kidnap Trish, his mental state got worse and worse until the only thing on his mind and keeping him alive was the desire for revenge.

Since stands often reflect their user, when Risotto’s distress gets higher, so does the volume at which Metallic cry “load”. At its worse, Risotto can’t hear anything else other than his stand’s cry

[cipherwrites]

Sugar & Spice, Chapter 4: Evillustrator

<- Previous Chapter / Next Chapter (WIP)

And then, Stormy Weather is blown away by her own parasol turned against her, and the great Mightyllustrator saves the damsel in distress!

“Oh, Mightyllustrator, you’re my hero!” the Damsel cries out.

“Heh, it was nothing.” the hero responds nonchalantly.

“I love you, Mightyllustrator!”

“I love you too, Marinette

Nathaniel Kurtzberg, a red-haired student of Francoise Dupont Lycee, sighs as he crosses out a number of things in his comic.

Wrong, wrong, it’s all wrong! No matter how much I try to envision it or dream it up, I can’t come up with a good story. Besides, it’s not like I’d ever get a real chance to rescue Marinette like this… The young artist thinks to himself, mentally comparing his damsel figure to the similarly shy but determined target of his affected, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Nathaniel only met Marinette last year, but in the short time he’s known her, he’s known her to be a kind and charitable girl who’s been relentlessly targeted by Chloe Bourgeois for, according to his classmates, three years now. He doesn’t know why it started, and frankly, he doesn’t care. All he knows is that Marinette is a sweet, caring soul who doesn’t deserve the bull-

“Nathaniel!” a ruler slams into his desk, and the meek redhead jumps at the sight of Mme. Mendeleiev, the purple-haired science teacher. “What are you drawing?” she asks with a cruel snarl on her face, clearly annoyed that this has had to interrupt her lesson, and he gulps nervously.

“Wa, well, it’s, erm…” the young man stammers.

“These artistic endeavors of yours are clearly why you are failing science,” she says. “You have been given the option to join the art program before, but your continued ignorance of this opportunity has not gone unnoticed. March down to the principal’s office and tell him just why you’ve been doing so poorly in my class!” she orders, and the redhead gulps.

“Yes, ma’am…” he says softly and gets up, tripping over a bag and gasps, landing on the floor, his sketchbook landing open on the ground. He reaches for it, but it’s snatched up by Chloe.

“Ooh! Look, Sabrina! It's him as a superhero! And look who he's saving! It's Dupain-Cheng!” She teases.

“It’s who?!” Marinette exclaims with a blush, and several other classmates join the confusion, most of which Adrien. Which, frankly, Nathaniel can understand- that short display of anger Marinette showed him on the first day of school only impressed Nathaniel further.

“He’s totally crushing on you, you know.” Chloe taunts Marinette.

“Doesn’t seem like much of your business,” Alya retorts, defending her best friend.

“Gimme that!” Nathaniel snatches his book away from Chloe, blushing deeply.

“Enough! Nathaniel, go!” Mme. Mendeleiev states, clearly sick and tired of the interruptions to her lesson. “No more gossiping, or you’ll all be joining him in the office!”

Nathaniel rushes out of the room, not even meeting Marinette’s gaze as he does so. Lost in thought and despair, Nathaniel’s eyes wander as he moves towards the office on autopilot.

Chloe. She ruins everything! She’s devoted to ruining Marinette’s life, and she humiliates and degrades everyone around her for no good reason other than the fact that she can. She’s evil- the kind of evil that Marinette needs to be saved from.

Nathaniel stumbles just a bit as he walks, and his pen falls to the ground. He picks it up, his body moving automatically as a purple butterfly enters the pen. Nathaniel could hardly comprehend what was happening before a voice entered his mind, commanding and omnipotent through his thoughts as the helpless boy’s anger turned to an uncontrollable hatred and rage against his will.

“Are you tired of having your spirit crushed? Evillustrator, I am Hawkmoth, your friend and patron of the arts. I’m here to offer you support…but I don’t give this kind of power for free. I have a couple of items that need retrieving.”

“Name the price, and it’s yours,” Nathaniel says with contempt, transforming into Evillustrator in the darkness of the halls, leaping to the rafters to hide and wait for his prey to emerge.

---

Nathaniel? Crushing on me? I don’t even know him that well! Marinette thinks to herself.

He’s so sweet, though! He didn’t deserve to be humiliated like that, even if I don’t feel the same way.

I should talk to him, though. I’ll catch him after class.

“The next particle physics presentation group is Nino, Adrien, and Alya!” Mendeleiev announces, insistent on not letting students pick their own groups. Luckily, her loud tendencies snapped Marinette out of her thoughts.

Wow, lucky. Marinette thinks to herself, remembering that it seems like Adrien is as intelligent as he is pretty…or at least, he’s pretty good at recalling information.

“And then Sabrina, Chloé and Marinette.” Mendeleiev states and Marinette feels her heart drop.

“Oof…unlucky.” Alya cringes.

Marinette looks over at Chloe, who has a malicious grin on her perfect little face.

No no no no no no no no-

“Mademoiselle!” Marinette suddenly stands up, fear evident and spiking. “C-can I work alone, please?”

“This is a group presentation, Marinette,” Mendeleiev states. “It’s a policy of mine not to give any of my students unfair advantages or disadvantages. You’ll have to deal with it.”

“Are you gonna be okay, Marinette?” Alya asks as the bluenette slumps back into her chair.

“I…I’ll be fine, Alya!” Marinette says with a smile. “Better than fine! Don’t worry about me!”

---

Marinette stands beside Sabrina as Chloe goes through her locker with a smug look on her face.

“Forget it! I don’t have time for some dumb project. I’m sure you two can handle it on your own. You’re still nice and efficient when you put your mind to something, aren’t you, Marinette?” Chloe grins, her voice like a toxin in Marinette’s ears.

“That’s fine, Chloe!” Sabrina says. “We can do all the work, don’t worry!”

It would be easy to let this happen. To have a few days of peace while I do everything she said.

“It’ll be just like old times,” Sabrina says.

I…I don’t want to go back to old times.

“No,” Marinette says, determined.

“What was that?” Chloe glares her way.

“I said no. Those bridges have long been burned by both of us. I’m not going back to how things were!” Marinette starts to yell, and Chloe takes a step back, as if surprised by the determination that now shines in Marinette’s eyes.

“Oh, it’ll be okay, Marinette!” Sabrina says, trying to defuse the tension. “It’s all equal! I do the research, you do the writing, and Chloe presents it! That way, it’s equal.” she explains. “Chloe and I have been doing this for years, you remember!”

“I remember plenty,” Marinette says coldly. “I remember,” she turns to Chloe, “that you’re too thick to do anything yourself, so you throw your money and influence at whatever useful people you see, taking advantage of the most talented people you can find and assume they’ll stick with you just because they’re afraid of you!” She grits her teeth. “Just because they care for you. That’s not how friends work.”

“Not only am I Sabrina’s best friend,” Chloe stomps her foot, “I’m her only friend. Because when I find someone and make them mine, they are nothing without me.”

“Well, maybe some people would rather be nothing than have you!” Marinette shouts, and Chloe looks taken aback and shocked by the statement. Guilt immediately pangs Marinette.

Maybe I went too far…

“Chloe, I-”

“Whatever!” Chloe flips her hair, walking past Marinette and Sabrina. “I’ve got more important things to worry about. My hair is a hot mess and Jean Claude promised to work his magic. Later!” she slams the door and storms off, leaving Marinette and Sabrina behind.

“...fuck.” Marinette leans against the locker and falls to her knees, hands at her face to try and keep the tears from coming. “What happened to us…?”

“Marinette…are you okay?” Sabrina asks, and Marinette turns her head away. “I…thank you. I’ve never seen you stand up to anyone like that before, and…you did it for me.” she holds out her hand to Marinette. “Chloe will cool down, I promise. She just has to think…maybe you’ve finally given her something to think about.” Sabrina gives a pained smile.

Marinette looks up and takes Sabrina’s hand, letting her help her get up.

I hope so.

---

Watching from the rafters of a library, three girls enter- first two, then another, and they begin to argue. He only cares for one of them. He only hates another. He grins wide as he prepares his tablet and begins to draw…

“Ugh! What do you mean, you’re not doing my assignment?!” Chloe exclaims, scowling at Marinette and Sabrina.

“I-I’m not your slave, Chloe! Marinette’s right, you haven’t been treating me like a friend!” Sabrina defends herself.

“Well, Marinette Dupain-Cheng didn’t buy you a super cute beret at Gabriel, and I did!” Chloe boasts, holding up a new beret she clearly had delivered to the school after she stormed out.

Marinette visibly seethes in her chair.

“It…it is a cute hat…” Sabrina says, seeing Chloe holding up the hat. “And it would look good on me…” she mumbles.

“I won’t pretend to have any excuses.” Chloe huffs. “But you, Dupain-Cheng, are trying to steal my friend from me, with homework!” Chloe declares pompously.

You wanna bribe, Chloe? Let’s give you plenty to work with.

Suddenly, from above, a pile of berets falls on the rich girl!

“AGH! My hair!” Chloe complains.

From the ether, a massive hairdryer materializes and starts tormenting Chloe, who begins to scream in fear and run away.

---

“Er…was that an akuma?” Sabrina asks.

“Or the byproduct of one.” Marinette surmises. 

Okay, I’ve planned for this: make distance from civilians and transform.

“Let’s split up!” Marinette tells Sabrina. “It’ll be easier to dodge it that way. You can meet me at my house, it’s not far from here- you remember where the bakery is, right?”

“Um…y-yeah!” Sabrina nods.

“Good, go!” Marinette orders, and she and Sabrina take off in different directions. If we’re lucky, Chat Noir and I will have this akuma handled by the time I make it home.

She hides between some of the scarcely used shelves and grins. “Tikki, Spots On!”

From the shelves, Ladybug emerges and pins the hairdryer to a bookshelf. “Hide, now!” she orders, and Chloe runs away.

“I’ve gotten wind that you were being blown away by a hairy situation!” she hears a familiar voice quip, and Ladybug rolls her eyes at her partner’s humor.

“Less punning and more action, Chat Noir!” she leaps up and lands beside him. “It’s not a real akuma, just some kinda byproduct. Made by it, or something.”

“Well, then I don’t have to feel bad about doing this! Cataclysm!” He declares, and lunging for the hairdryer, it disintegrates into dust, and they all hear an exclamation of pain- a backlash for destroying something an akuma controls.

Looking up, they see some kind of feedback coming from the arm tablet of a purple man in a beret and awfully odd clothes.

“Well, that guy looks pretty sketchy!” Chat quips.

The two chase the akuma, but he gets away by creating a wall.

“He got away…most akumas we’ve faced have run to get a better vantage point, but that’s only after trying to fight us.” Ladybug murmurs. “Where could he be going?”

“I don’t know, but he sure has a way of illustrating his point.” Chat grins, and Ladybug can’t help but wheeze out a frustrated chuckle.

“Is there some kind of punning superpower I don’t know about?” she teases her partner.

“I got more where that came from, I can do this all day!” Chat grins.

Ladybug shakes her head, her smile never leaving her face. “Alright, the akuma was targeting Chloe Bourgeois, so we should find her.”

“To the Grand Paris!” Chat Noir points dramatically in the wrong direction.

---

“Seems like the akuma’s targeting you specifically, Chloe. Any idea why?” Chat Noir asks, standing with Ladybug in Chloe’s room in the Grand Paris. Ladybug is tapping her foot impatiently- she probably has somewhere to be. She’s a busy little bee! Er, bug. That’s why they need to be so efficient; unlike Adrien, Ladybug’s civilian identity actually has a life outside the mask.

“No! Everyone adores me.” Chloe states.

“Right, 'cause you’re sooo adorable…” Ladybug mutters, and Chat holds back a laugh at his partner’s sarcasm. Unfortunately, Chloe doesn’t seem to pick up on it.

“Yes! Ladybug just said I'm adorable! I totally need a picture of the two of us together!” she says and forcibly takes a selfie of them both with her phone, and afterward Ladybug walks to the balcony with Chat.

“That was unpleasant…” she mumbles.

“Well, I look great, of course, but your smile is all wonky. I'll take another!” Chloe says from behind them, but Ladybug stops her.

“Not now, Chloe. I’m…camera shy,” she says as she continues onto the balcony with her partner.

“Well, someone’s got a fan.” Chat Noir teases.

“Yeah, great.” She rolls her eyes.

“Alright, what’s bugging you? No pun intended this time, either.” Chat says with a gentler smile.

“Let’s just say I can’t stand this girl, even with a mask on.” she sighs and looks at her bugphone.

Eh, that’s not really a clue. Chloe tends to leave a bad impression on most people- Ladybug could be a student at Dupont, but she could just as easily be the daughter of someone working for Chloe.

“I…I need to go.” Ladybug says hesitantly. “I have somewhere to be if I want to preserve my identity. I can probably be back in a few hours- can you protect her until then?” Ladybug asks.

“I can handle it Ladybug, no sweat! Go, go! Make an alibi.” Chat Noir insists, giving his leader a salute.

The smile Ladybug gives him as she swings away makes his heart flutter more than the little butterflies that plague Paris.

“Ahh! Ladybug! Text me!” Chloe calls after her desperately.

---

Marinette breathes deeply as she arrives home, seeing Sabrina pacing around in the main room of the bakery. She steps in, and Sabrina runs up to her.

“MarinetteIwassoworriedItriedcallingbutyouneverpickedupIwasworriedtheakumagotyou-” Sabrina begins rambling, and Marinette smiles kindly, taking Sabrina’s wrists before she can drape herself over Marinette.

“Whoa, Sabrina! Calm down. I just got a bit turned around, and my phone ran out of charge.” 

And to cover my bases, I turned my phone off before stepping inside.

“So…you’re okay?” Sabrina asks.

“I’m okay. Come on, let’s go upstairs and get our project started,” she says with a kind smile.

Marinette and Sabrina don’t talk much. They divided the project into three actual equal parts, created a shared slideshow, and sent it to Chloe with a list of what she’ll need to do. While they work, they don’t talk much, even when Sabrina tries to start it. Quite honestly, Marinette doesn’t want to talk with Sabrina for too long.

If I talk with Sabrina too much, she’ll start talking about Chloe, and…and I don’t want to talk about her right now.

About 30 minutes pass, the duo making a good start on their project, and as Sabrina’s about to come up with some snacks Mari’s parents made, the girls hear what sounds like some kind of wiping- Marinette’s on her bed, Sabrina on the ladder up to the room- and Marinette’s eyes widen as her window erases, and a familiar form enters the room: the akuma.

“You-!” Marinette’s eyes widened, resisting the urge to call for Tikki immediately. “What are you doing here?” she questions, but rather than the rigid expression she saw before, the man’s expression softens to a fond look.

That’s…not the look of someone who knows I’m Ladybug.

“I-I just wanted to see you!” he insists.

 Or it’s a fanboy. Then I’ve got a whole new thing to deal with.

“If that’s all you wanted, why did you attack Chloe?” Marinette questions.

 “Because Chloe is vicious and cruel!” he growls, and Marinette winces a bit.

“I can’t…argue with that,” she says hesitantly. “So…what happens now? Are you going to abduct me? Attack me?”

“Never,” the young man says, which catches Marinette a little off guard. “You’re Marinette! You’re beautiful, sweet, and kind, and smart and…you’re perfect, I could never hurt you!” he expresses with a lovestruck expression.

Okay, let’s think about this. Akumas increase emotional states. A crush turned to obsession…a disdain for Chloe that likely happened today…art coming to life…

As Marinette connects the dots, it’s like a window shattering. Her eyes widen as she sees Nathaniel’s face beyond the veil of the akuma, the Quantum Mask that shrouds identity broken for her and her only, bringing with it an uncanny feeling of confusion that she ever saw anything but the boy behind the mask.

Oh, Nathaniel. What has he done to you?

“Nathaniel, what happened to you?” Marinette asks, concerned.

“My name is Evillustrator now, Marinette. It’s my birthday tonight, and I was hoping we could have a party. Just you and me, on the seine!” he offers excitedly.

“Tonight…” Marinette whispers, seeing the trapdoor opening slightly, seeing the terrified Sabrina staring at the scene like a deer in headlights.

If I let anything loose about the group project, there’s no telling who he’ll hurt to make sure he has me to himself!

“I’ll do it,” Marinette says, and Evillustrator looks ecstatic. “On one condition.”

“Of course, Marinette!” Evillustrator grins. “Anything for you!”

“You can’t hurt Chloe. Or anyone anymore. No more fighting.” She orders.

“You are a gentle soul, Marinette. For you, and you only. I’ll wait for you next to Notre Dame, at sunset!” he expresses before leaping out of the window.

Marinette waits for a beat before groaning loudly, falling facefirst onto her bed.

“What were you thinking?!” Sabrina suddenly bursts through.

“I’m thinking that this is the only way to keep people safe!” Marinette says sadly.

“Marinette, you’re brave, but isn’t this a bit much?” Sabrina asks. “I mean, er…the project! We have to finish the project, right?”

She’s reaching for anything she can to try and get me out of this. Even after everything, Sabrina is sweet and kind.

“You should go home, Sabrina,” Marinette smiles. “You know me. I can get this whole thing cranked out by tonight.”

“Marinette…” Sabrina sighs. “I’ll…I’ll get my Dad! Then we can-”

“No.” Marinette shakes her head. “The Police are useless against akumas. I don’t want anyone else to be hurt.”

“Marinette…” Sabrina whimpers, but lowers her head to acquiesce. 

---

“Ohhh... Sabrina is so selfish! Making me do this project by myself?! Ugh, my brain hurts... Huh? Hey! Cat Noir, Are you any good at particle physics?” Chloe looks at the black cat, and he sighs a bit.

“Well, I’m not bad at it…” he says, trying not to share that he’s pretty good at science as a whole. Which Plagg laughs up considering how much of my life will now revolve around magic…

“Ah! Great!” Chloe says and pulls him by his arm. “Sit, kitty!” she orders and shoves project materials into his arms. “Now, make it sound purr-fect for my presentation. See what I did? I made a cat joke! Ha! I can be funny.” she states, and Chat Noir just stares at her.

“Hilarious,” he says sarcastically.

C’mon, Chloe, I’m trying to empathize with you, don’t make it so hard for me.

At that moment, his staff rings, and he drops the materials to the ground and starts to walk back out to the balcony. “Sorry, Mme., I've got a call from the Lady in Red!” he says and leans on the balcony as he answers. “You know, Ladybug, some may call it unprofessional to be catcalling during work hours.” Chat Noir teases and is met by a smirk.

“Well, what if I told you that you didn’t have to worry about Chloe anymore?” She asks.

“I’d say I’m listening. I didn’t see any magic ladybugs, so I doubt the akuma’s beaten…” Chat Noir responds.

“The akuma calls himself Evillustrator. He went to a civilian’s house and talked to her, and she answered some of my questions. Not only that, but he asked her on a date.” Ladybug explains.

“The akuma’s a lovebug? What, did Chloe diss his crush or something?” Chat asks.

“You could say that.” Ladybug sends an image, and Chat’s eyes widen. “Her name is Marinette Dupain-Cheng. Cute, huh?”

Ah. I see why Chloe was attacked now.

“M’Lady, are you trying to set me up with an akuma’s crush? Scandalous.” he teases, and he can practically hear her rolling her eyes.

“I’ve told her my basic plan, and I’ll need you to protect her tonight and fight the akuma without me. I’ll be indisposed.” She explains.

Guess that alibi’s going on longer than expected. But hold on…

“What about your Lucky Charm? Or the Miracle Cure?” He asks, worried.

“I’ve gone over it with Tikki. This is the ideal time to test out the capabilities of our powers without the Ladybug, in case something happens to me. Evillustrator is more docile than most akuma, after all, so it’ll be more of a trial by matchlight than trial by fire.” she explains.

“A fair point,” Chat nods. “What’s the plan?”

“All Miraculous weapons have a kind of…hammerspace, for lack of a better term. Only the Ladybug can use that space to purify an akuma, since I then use the energy from that akuma with my Miracle Cure to pinpoint what exactly got broken and fix it. However, you can still hide the akuma in there, and it’ll remain even if you detransform. Keep the akuma contained, and we’ll meet at the Eiffel at Midnight for me to purify the akuma.” Ladybug explains.

“What about the Lucky Charm?” Chat Noir asks.

“I left it with Marinette for you. You’ll need to figure it out from there, but I’m sure it’ll come in handy,” she explains.

Chat sighs dreamily. “You really thought of everything.” he fiddles with his bell. “And…you really think I can do this without you?” he asks.

“I believe in you, Chat Noir. Take the akuma down,” she says, and he smiles.

“I won’t let you down, M’lady!” he says, determined, hanging up as he launches off.

“Hey! Where are you going?!” Chloe yells after him, but Chat just smiles as he heads for the Dupain-Cheng bakery.

---

Marinette had already told her parents about everything, and while they were terrified, Marinette assured them she’d be protected by Chat Noir, and she’d be arming herself with some pepper spray (though they insisted she also take a knife).

She looks down at the Lucky Charm in her hands- a small red tablet pen. As she turns it over in her hand, she hears an impact on the balcony above her, and she sighs. Showtime.

“Nathaniel…? Is that you…?” she wonders aloud, doing her best to sound as normal as possible, and as she heads to the balcony, she sees Chat Noir, bowing dramatically towards her (yet not making eye contact…weird).

“Good evening, young lady! The name’s Chat Noir.” he smiles wide.

“I assumed as much,” she smiles a bit and shakes his hand. “So, you’re here to protect me?”

“Yep! That birthday boy date of yours is bad news. Don’t worry, though, you’ll be safe with me!” the leather-clad hero boasts.

“That puts my mind at ease,” Marinette says, resisting the urge to tease him.

“But I may need a little help…” he says, frowning as he sees the tablet pen. “I hear you’re pretty creative. Care to assist a superhero?” he asks hopefully.

We haven’t even begun yet, and he’s already asking for help. Silly kitty.

“And what would Ladybug think of you asking another girl for help with your hero work?” she asks teasingly.

“Well, maybe you could be my Ladybug tonight.” he challenges, and the two grin at each other, before they blush a bit, as if they both realize some kind of mistake made, and turn away from each other.

“I couldn’t imagine fighting crime with the heroes of Paris. No matter how amazing it might be…” Marinette quickly dissuades.

“Yeah, erm…just get the pen from Evillustrator, and I can do the rest!” Chat Noir says.

---

Evillustrator sits on the boat of his own creation, sketching additional things for his date with Marinette. It has to be perfect, it must be perfect. She deserves nothing less.

“That is a lovely scene you’re setting.” the voice of Hawkmoth enters his mind. “But you’d best not get distracted, boy.” He threatens.

“I just want Marinette to love me…” he responds, and he feels a pang of pain enter his mind.

“And I want the Miraculous, so get them…or else,” he threatens, and Evillustrator feels a pain course through his body. “I’ll show you what else my Miraculous can do when a ‘failsafe’ is required.”

“Okay, I will, I will!” Evillustrator promises desperately, and the pain leaves him as he hears footsteps.

“Happy Birthday.” he hears, and he sees Marinette wearing a beautiful dress with a floral pattern, a purse at her side with a pair of flat shoes, and her hair tied in a braid down her back.

“Marinette!” the akuma stands up, smiling. “Thank you for coming,” he says, making a bridge for her to step onto the boat from the seine’s edge.

“It’s all so beautiful,” Marinette says as she steps on board.

“You like it? Well, hold on, ‘cause I’m just getting started!” He says gladly, about to draw something more, but dark clouds begin to roll in, blocking the moon from view. “No…no! Come on, you’ve gotta be kidding!” he complains, and after seeing the way Marinette looks at him, he tries to compose himself. “Uhm, sorry. I didn't mean to startle you. It's just... I can't draw properly in the dark.” he explains and draws a glowing sphere in the nearby sky resembling the moon, using a lantern to supply light. “Voila!” he smiles.

The two ride on the boar, playing music from his pad, and Marinette soon scotts closer to him.

“You're very talented, Nathaniel.” She says.

“It’s Evi-” he begins, but Marinette puts her finger to his lips.

“Try as you might, Nathaniel, nothing you can do can make me call you evil,” she says gently, and he blushes deeply, unable to argue with her. “What I’d like to know is why you’d use this power to hurt people.” 

“Not all people!” Evillustrator clarifies. “Just Chloe. And I'll never do it again. After all, you were true to your promise, so I'll be true to mine.” He says kindly.

“I draw a little too, you know, for my fashion designs. I actually made what I’m wearing tonight.” She says, and his eyes light up.

“Really? It’s very pretty…” he says.

“Is it okay if I try drawing something?” she whispers to him, and he swallows. “I could draw something special for your birthday.”

“Y-yes…that would be amazing,” he says, and she touches the pen, both of their hands now gripping it, and then Evillustrator notices something out of the corner of his vision…a dark shape with glowing green eyes.

“Marinette, wait, give me the pen back. I need to draw something now!” he expresses.

“Sorry, Nathaniel,” Marinette responds and starts to run. “Chat Noir, the moon!”

“Cataclysm!” Chat Noir declares, destroying the moon Evillustrator created and causing a feedback that causes Evillustrator to wince, plunging everything into darkness!

“Marinette! Are you working with him? I'm so stupid... I actually thought you liked me! But you're really just like Chloe. Teasing me, mocking me, leading me on!” Evillustrator begins, gripping his head, and he charges for Marinette! He tackles her down, grabbing the pen from her as he throws her against Chat Noir, who catches her as the two seem to be thrown back!

“Now I’ve got you!” Evillustrator grins as he starts to draw on his tablet, crouching down to the lantern, but…nothing?

“Sorry, Evillustrator, but that’s not your pen,” Chat Noir smiles, and the akuma’s eyes widen as he sees the red pen with black spots, which he can only make out now in the light of the lantern. “This is!” Chat Noir snaps the real pen, and the akuma flutters out, which Chat Noir immediately catches inside of his staff.

“No-” Evillustrator exclaims as he transforms back into Nathaniel and falls to the ground, nearly passing out from the exertion.

“All right! Pound it!” Chat Noir says, and Marinette’s eyes widen a bit. “Oh, er…” Chat stammers. “Sorry, it’s a thing Ladybug and I do when we win, and…I guess it’s kinda muscle memory-”

“Hey.” Marinette smiles and holds up her fist. “It’s cool,” she says, and Chat smiles wide as they bump fists. “Now go find your Lady, so she can fix all of this,” she says, referring to the things Evillustrator had summoned, and she walks over to Nathaniel.

“Come on, Nathaniel. Let’s get you home…and talk.” Marinette suggests.

“Okay.” Nathaniel nods a little bit.

---

“So you don’t even know why they left?” Alya asks Chloe, exasperated. 

“Not at all! Clearly, that akuma knew not to mess with me.” She says, flipping her hair over her shoulder dismissively, and Marinette sighs as she watches failing to get very substantial information about the akuma from Chloe.

“So, you’re really going back to Chloe?” Marinette asks Sabrina, not too far away.

“She’s doing more than usual!” Sabrina tries to defend, but the new beret Sabrina is sporting doesn’t go over Marinette’s head.

Well…there’s some doubt there! Maybe.

“Hey, Marinette!” she hears Adrien call, and she smiles fondly as Adrien walks up to her. “I heard about your adventures with Chat Noir yesterday. Were you scared?” he asks.

“Oh, uh, plenty!” Marinette says.

Which isn’t really a lie. It was my first time going toe-to-toe with an akuma without the Miraculous.

“But Chat Noir was there! He saved me.” Marinette smiles.

“So, what did you think of Chat Noir?” Adrien asks. “Not many people talk about him. Was he awesome?”

“Yeah…he was.” Marinette smiles a bit. “Maybe cooler than you.” she teases, and he laughs a bit.

“Marinette, you wound me!” He smiles a bit playfully, and the two walk out of the classroom as the bell rings, chatting until they head to Adrien’s car, upon which he heads home.

I talked with Adrien! We joked around! We had fun!

Marinette’s eyes wander, and she smiles as she sees Nathaniel finally heading to the art club to give himself a proper outlet, so his emotions can no longer be taken advantage of, while everyone around her gossips about the recent KIDZ+ scandal regarding the Weather Girl competition, and the exact reason why there are two girls now, not just one.

Life is good.

[arpov-blog-blog]

..."he (Trump) does not seem to recognise the moral significance of bodies and minds in pain. And, second, he is not aware of the importance, social and moral, of pretending he does recognise another’s pain even if he doesn’t. Then there is the language itself. It suddenly swerves into the incoherent. Trump says that “everyone gets the Congressional Medal of Honor that’s soldiers”. (He could also mean: “everyone gets the Congressional Medal of Honor – that’s soldiers.”) The words verge on nonsense. Either he is saying that every soldier gets the Medal of Honor, which is absurdly untrue. Or he is saying that only soldiers get the Medal of Honor, but that every soldier gets it – which is similarly absurd – but with a twist. If Biden had spoken in such a way a year ago, he would have been pushed aside all the sooner.

Trump’s extreme rhetoric is still routinely dismissed as him “just being Trump” – the usual hyperbole and bluster. Yet it is hardly mere bluster or hyperbole for Trump to claim, as he has recently, that “you can’t walk across the street to get a loaf of bread. You get shot, you get mugged, you get raped, you get whatever it may be.” Perhaps the most alarming part of that sentence is the disturbingly disconnected “whatever it may be”. And it is not merely vulgar for Trump to republish a post claiming that Kamala Harris has achieved political success thanks to dispensing oral sex. The claim is not just appalling; it is crazy to make it in public. That post appeared with several others: a photo of Harris in an orange prison jumpsuit, a photo of Barack Obama with a caption asking Trump supporters if they wanted Obama to be tried before a military tribunal, and photos of Trump with AI-created lions. Most people do not lack inhibition to this degree. But Trump’s repetition of such lunacy has made it routine. Call it the banality of madness. Trump’s assertion, made in deadly earnest in an interview last Tuesday with Dr Phil McGraw, that God had spared him from being assassinated in order to save America, and possibly the world, barely raised an eyebrow.

Incredibly, in America, where just about everything goes – Trump, for example – there is a tacit prohibition against discussing Trump’s obvious mental incapacity in public. The taboo was imposed in February 2017, just over a year after Trump’s inauguration. That was when the New York Times published a short letter, signed by “33 psychiatrists, psychologists and social workers”. Noting Trump’s “inability to tolerate views different from his own, leading to rage reactions”, and his pattern of distorting reality to suit his own “psychological state”, the letter reasoned that “[i]n a powerful leader, these attacks are likely to increase, as his personal myth of greatness appears to be confirmed”. The signatories concluded that Trump’s “speech and actions make him incapable of serving safely as president”. Trump’s continuing refusal to accept his defeat in the 2020 election makes the letter prescient.

The response to the letter was more than passing strange. Other mental health professionals rose to denounce the letter and its signatories. One was Allen Frances, the prestigious chairman of the task force that wrote the “Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV”, considered psychiatry’s diagnostic bible. Frances had two problems with the letter. The first was, he said, that Trump was too successful to be mentally ill – a bizarre argument that sounded like one Trump would make himself. “Mr Trump,” Frances intoned, “causes severe distress rather than experiencing it and has been richly rewarded, rather than punished, for his grandiosity, self-absorption and lack of empathy.” Therefore Trump could not possibly be mentally ill, Frances concluded, apparently unaware of erratic politicians in world history who have achieved success in the exact terms defined by their insanity. Frances added, with an apparently unintentional touch of humour, that pronouncing Trump mentally ill was an insult to the mentally ill.

Reacting to the negative backlash, the NY Times then published an article about the controversy by Richard Friedman, a psychiatrist. Friedman referred to what is known in American psychiatry as the Goldwater rule. This was the American Psychiatric Association (APA)’s official prohibition against mental health professionals making a public diagnosis of a politician’s mental health. That edict itself was a response to mental health professionals participating, in 1964, in a public survey and judging the then Republican candidate for president, Barry Goldwater, mentally unfit to be president. Siding with the APA, Friedman finished by declaring that clinically judging Trump to be mentally ill would let him “off the moral hook”. And from that point on, liberal attacks on Trump were unfailingly moral, a tactic that soon degenerated into a grossly ineffectual torrent of moral hubris, virtue-mongering and sanctimony."

[auncerra]

Being conditioned to keep silent on the actions of abusers is not a new concept.

I have lived in states of constant assault, psychological, physical, emotional, and mental.

I have been scrutinized, unduly judged, manipulated, threatened, blackmailed, bribed, stolen from in terms of assets, documents, mail, legal essential paperwork and proprietary identity documentation.

I have lived and existed around constant, generationally traumatic chaos, disrupt, opposition, neglect, pathological narcissism, and violence.

I have been villainized for survivalism, and for not accepting a fractured, fraudulent, corrupt image of ‘domesticity, providing, and caretaking’.

I have housed and independently healed traumas inside my body with the consistent rise of new re-traumatizing, deliberate, bullying actions, words and behaviors. I live with the constant concern for my financial freedom, physical health, psychological well-being, and capacity to exist authentically and freely. I have had to be militantly self-sufficient in a climate that rejects autonomous thought and diverging from broken principles and deceitful, negligent, illegal conduct. When I say illegal conduct, I mean hard, criminal, documented, redundant crime committed against me, my financial health, private banking credentials, educational and career opportunities; deranged fits and violent antagonism, hate speech, gender-based, identity-based and psychological discrimination, impersonation with the intent of covert abusive traumatization, existing as a black sheep in a herd of toxic abusive pathology and toxic enablers. A community of enablers. A radius of enablers. It’s not a privilege to experience, it’s not a privilege to live under constraints and extremes, it is humbling to have to live in a survivalist manner. It is humbling to have to scrape for resources that these forces at play would wittingly attempt to permanently take.

I am sickened by it. I am repulsed by it. I am exhausted of being treated like anathema, like my concerns aren’t valid, like my experience isn’t explicitly and implicitly truthful.

I am my only family, and it has always been that way. I am my only support system, I am my sense of home, and I have had to be. And I will never call abusers anything other than precisely that: abusers. That is all they are, were, and will ever be.

Let what does not know how to love die by its own destructive tendency. Because it deserves to. Because you don’t deserve to bear its weight and its slanderous lies. It is a false, broken facade. It is a complete lie. It is a broken puppet imitation of feeling, it is a crocodile tear, bullshitting entity bent on creating disrupt, chaos, instability, and torment, it enjoys it. It takes satisfaction in distress to deflect from its own. It is irrelevant. It is violent. It is without moral, without distinction, without purpose. It will always be. And it’s not cynical to speak the hard facts and blatant reality.

These abusers I speak on are damned. Abusers don’t deserve to be humanized. They deserve to be seen as the monsters they walk as. And I intend for this to rise to the top of the garbage heap of their toxic, adolescent immaturity. And I will speak my truth until my lungs require rest and rejuvenation.

My circumstances will change, because that is faith. It doesn’t require or denote religious affiliation, it is simply knowing. And those that intentionally, willfully, destructively stand in the way of my resources I cast out, I revoke, and I condemn to their own intolerance and cruelty.

Frauds. Narcissists. Abusers. Enablers. Intolerable, unacceptable, shameful cruelty: that is the nature of what I have existed around.

My success is attributable to me, to my endurance, to my own tireless independence. And that is the only truth worth witnessing. Anything to the contrary is pure, total deceit.

I am not defined by what I have survived experientially. I am defined by my quality, which is indisputable. And I will not allow that to be corroded by malignant, cruel, ugly lack-of-examples.

I will never place respect on boundary-molesting, predatory scum.

I know my name. I speak the truth.

April 15th, 2024. 7:52 AM.

[lovehealgrow]

Helping First Responders Cope With PTSD

Eighty percent of first responders deal with traumatic events on a regular basis, and 30% of them will develop post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD– that’s a rate 10% higher than the general population. PTSD is one of the biggest threats facing first responders, and unfortunately, it’s a mental disorder that often goes untreated. Despite the modern, more nuanced understanding of what the condition is, there is still a stigma against seeking help for PTSD in many communities. Today, we’re going to explore some of the unique challenges posed by PTSD and share some of the ways that therapy can help first responders who are suffering from PTSD.

Before we start, please remember that if you have PTSD, it isn’t your fault, and you aren’t weak for having it or for seeking treatment. PTSD doesn’t turn you into a monster– it just means that you need extra support, and there’s no shame in needing that. First responders do so much for their communities, and they deserve to be supported in turn. You dedicate your life to helping others– there’s nothing wrong with needing some help yourself.

The Unique Challenges of PTSD

PTSD has a range of symptoms that can profoundly affect those affected. Intrusive symptoms, such as flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive thoughts, can abruptly and vividly rekindle the traumatic event, causing immense distress and making it hard to function. Those with PTSD often engage in extensive avoidance behaviors, steering clear of anything reminiscent of the trauma, resulting in social withdrawal and isolation. Hyperarousal is also prevalent. PTSD can make you feel constantly unsafe and leave you in a state of high alert and distress. Without the ability to calm down and feel safe again, people with PTSD often experience heightened irritability, difficulty sleeping, and challenges in concentration, leading to anger issues.

Furthermore, PTSD can trigger negative changes in your thoughts and mood, altering thought patterns, self-perception, and relationships with the world, often resulting in a pessimistic outlook and difficulties in forming and maintaining relationships. Emotional dysregulation is a common challenge for people with PTSD. This can manifest as intense mood swings, struggles with emotional numbness, and difficulty managing anger or sadness. All of these challenges can make it difficult to maintain relationships, as well as your ability to function in various spheres, including work and daily activities. Additionally, individuals with PTSD might face increased risks of physical health problems due to chronic stress and disrupted sleep.

Self-Stigma in PTSD

Another major issue with PTSD is the idea of self-stigma. This is one of the largest barriers to treatment and is something that many first responders with PTSD have to deal with. Self-stigma in PTSD refers to the internalized negative attitudes, beliefs, and feelings that individuals with PTSD may develop about themselves due to societal or cultural stereotypes surrounding mental health conditions.

Self-stigma involves the internalization of social prejudices and stereotypes related to PTSD, leading individuals to perceive themselves negatively due to their condition. People experiencing self-stigma may start to believe they are weak, flawed, or different from others because of their PTSD. This can lead to a sense of shame, reduced self-esteem, and reluctance to seek help or disclose their condition to others.

Self-stigma can significantly impact a person’s mental health, self-perception, and willingness to access treatment or support. Overcoming self-stigma involves addressing and challenging these negative beliefs, promoting self-compassion, and understanding that PTSD is a response to traumatic experiences rather than a personal weakness. Seeking therapy, support groups, and educating oneself about PTSD can also help in reducing self-stigma and fostering a more positive self-perception

How Therapy Can Help

Therapy is one of the best solutions for first responders grappling with PTSD. These professionals routinely encounter traumatic situations as part of their occupation, resulting in substantial emotional and psychological strain. Various therapeutic approaches exist to aid in their recovery and management of PTSD symptoms, and a good therapist can help you figure out what type of therapy works best for you.

Trauma-focused therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) effectively treat PTSD by assisting individuals in processing traumatic memories and reducing avoidance behaviors associated with the trauma. These types of therapies can help you reframe your trauma and let you identify and challenge negative thought patterns related to the traumatic event. Eventually, you’ll be able to alter these patterns to change emotional responses and behaviors. Exposure therapy offers gradual and controlled exposure to trauma-related stimuli in a safe environment to reduce fear and anxiety associated with triggers. Additionally, mindfulness and relaxation techniques are taught to help manage stress and improve emotional regulation.

Therapy doesn’t have to be a solo experience, and some people do better with additional support from those with shared experiences. Group therapy and peer support among individuals who have shared similar experiences provide a sense of belonging and validation, while family therapy involves relatives in understanding and supporting the affected individual. Therapists can help you with resilience building, developing coping skills, and creating adaptive strategies to manage stress in high-pressure environments. They will also consider the specific stressors and culture within your profession. They don’t just want to help you with your PTSD symptoms– they want to help you manage and heal while continuing your crucial role, if that’s what you want.

Additionally, just learning about PTSD and how it impacts first responders can help you understand what’s happening and why. This can help you develop effective coping mechanisms and diminish the stigma associated with seeking treatment.

Getting Help with PTSD

If you’re a first responder with symptoms of PTSD, you don’t have to suffer in silence. Wanting to heal from PTSD is a sign of strength, and the healing process can be a challenge. But with support and time, you can overcome PTSD. If you or someone you love may be dealing with PTSD, please do not hesitate to reach out to us at Love Heal Grow to get in touch with one of our therapists and get the support you need through this healing journey.

[enby-nyc]

Achieving Inner Peace: Strategies For Treating Gender Dysphoria Without Transitioning

Gender dysphoria can have significant emotional effects on those who experience it, creating a battle between one's internal sense of identity and the body one inhabits. Without transitioning, individuals struggling with gender dysphoria can feel lost as there are limited options for finding a resolution. Yet this doesn’t mean there is no hope – in addition to medical interventions, therapeutic strategies focused on stability and acceptance may help ease the distress associated with this condition.

This blog post will explore how we can work towards achieving inner peace without undergoing transition through simple mindfulness activities, self-compassion practices, and targeted cognitive reframing techniques.

What is gender dysphoria?

Gender dysphoria is a state of feeling distressed or uncomfortable with one's assigned gender. It is important to note that gender dysphoria is not experienced the same way by everyone and can present itself in different ways, depending on the individual.

For some people, this state of distress might be expressed as confusion about their gender identity; for others, it could manifest in physical discomfort when encountering expectations that are typical for their assigned gender. In either case, it serves to highlight the difference between an individual’s internal experience of themselves and the external cultural norms around them.

Gender dysphoria is a complex subject that deserves acknowledgment and understanding from individuals and societies alike; while many embrace it with support and acceptance, others may reject it out of misinformation or misunderstanding. This can be detrimental both emotionally and physically without proper guidance or care; therefore, seeking help from qualified professionals is advised for anyone experiencing gender dysphoria.

Symptoms of Gender Dysphoria

Feeling Uncomfortable in Your Own Skin

Living with gender dysphoria can be challenging, and those who do experience it might deal with a wide variety of physical, psychological, and emotional symptoms. One noticeable symptom is feeling uncomfortable in one's own skin—misaligned body parts, facial features that don't align with the desired gender, chest binder-like constrictions that make everyday tasks hard to complete—can cause such a strong level of distress that seeking Help from both medical professionals and support networks are often necessary steps on the journey toward self-acceptance.

It’s possible to experience common signs of gender dysphoria such as depression and anxiety while still taking steps to live your best life; seeking guidance from counseling or a support group can be a helpful first step on the path to understanding oneself better. Through medical interventions such as chest binding or transient social solutions like dressing up in clothing more fitting to one's preferred gender expression, many individuals have found their own way forward towards greater satisfaction in life, security in themselves, and inner peace.

Feeling Anxious or Depressed About Your Gender?

Feelings of anxiety or depression about your gender are also common among those with gender dysphoria. Gender dysphoria is a distressing discrepancy between the way one feels about their gender identity and the sex assigned at birth. For some,  chest binders  can help reduce chest dysphoria by binding breast tissue to create the desired chest shape and relieve internal distress associated with chest dysphoria.

This distress often manifests as emotional anxiety which can be overwhelming; chest binding offers a degree of relief to those experiencing chest dysphoria, but this has risks due to its physical pressure on the chest wall. To manage chest dysphoria, it may also be helpful to talk with a licensed therapist or mental health professional. Additionally, other steps like self-care and support from friends, family, and/or support groups can help alleviate emotional discomfort associated with gender dissonance while completing one's transition journey.

Experiencing Social Isolation and Discrimination

Experiencing gender dysphoria can be a truly painful and unique experience for those living with it, but the journey is often times traveled alone. One of the most pervasive symptoms of gender dysphoria is social isolation and discrimination. Oftentimes, those suffering from this condition find themselves completely excluded from their home or community, leading to difficulty finding safety or basic resources such as housing to a place to feel at home; however, a growing number of organizations are working to improve this reality by pushing forth meaningful change that opens doors for those in need of guidance and assistance.

Advocating for supportive environments and inclusive policies can go a long way in helping people suffering from gender dysphoria feel supported and valued by members of society. By creating spaces that respect the gender identity of all individuals we can start to move towards an understanding in which we celebrate gender diversity instead of ostracizing it.

How do people with gender dysphoria feel?

Transgender people with gender dysphoria feel intense feelings of discomfort and distress about the gender they were assigned at birth. They often have a deep-seated knowledge that their gender identity does not align with this assignment, instead feeling more connected to the opposite gender or a nonbinary one. Those living with gender dysmorphia describe an unexplainable sense of mismatch between their body's sex characteristics and internal identity; they may experience disappointment in their outward physical appearance, leading to anxiety and depression.

For many people with gender dysphoria, fitting into society's expectations of them is a challenge, as they struggle to reconcile their lived experiences with cultural ideals of masculinity or femininity. In order to cope with these challenges, those with gender dysphoria can benefit from exploring therapeutic avenues such as writing, yoga, and meditation. Even just talking openly and honestly about their experiences can provide a sense of relief for people living with gender dysphoria.

How to Live a Happy Life Without Transitioning

Find Your Passion

Finding your passion can be a powerful coping mechanism for those struggling with gender dysphoria who are not yet ready to transition. This can include activities such as art, music, theatre, writing, sports, and more.

Taking the time to focus on what brings you joy and provides an escape can help counteract any negative energy surrounding gender dysphoria. Not only is this a great way to channel thoughts into something that creates personal growth and satisfaction, but it can also lead to making meaningful connections with others in the same field or pursuit.

Furthermore, if something sparks your interest enough for you to want to pursue it professionally or creatively, being surrounded by an inclusive community that embraces all gender expressions will further help individuals feel supported in their identity.

Additionally, finding your passion may lead you to discover new identities along the way that could bring peace and understanding to your gender dysphoria journey. Once you have found your passion, pursue it with everything you have. Do whatever it takes to turn your passion into your career. You will be much happier if you are doing something you love for a living.

Set Realistic Expectations

One of the most important things you can do to live a happy life without transitioning is to set realistic expectations. It may require mental detours and rewiring, such as evaluating how you view yourself internally, accepting parts of yourself that you don’t wholly agree with, and defining a new perception of the way you understand your gender identity.

This will inherently call for finding true acceptance within yourself; it is currently the only means of alleviating dysphoria while remaining in-between genders. Self-acceptance can be an uphill journey, but there are many treatments available ranging from talk therapy to taking our energy back through mindful practices like yoga to keep us centered on our physical and mental needs.

Allowing yourself a few moments every day to sit down and reflect upon thoughts both big and small can help maintain momentum on your self-love journey because even though it might not seem like it, each tiny victory along the way adds up immensely in the long run.

No matter what your journey looks like, it is possible to live a happy life without transitioning. Remember that you are not alone, and there are many people out there who have gone through similar experiences as you. Finding and connecting with these individuals can help provide support in navigating this difficult process.

Seek Out Items That Affirm Your Gender Identity

Expanding your wardrobe with items that affirm your gender identity can be a powerful way to express yourself and this journey. You may find  chest binders  and other chest compression products helpful in portraying the image you want, like corsets, chest wraps, and even double-sided tape. Similarly, wearing gender-affirming clothing items like skirts and dresses can be a powerful way to further embrace the experience.

Other alternatives are bandeau bras and tank tops which are comfortable and effective. Your clothing choices help define how you perceive yourself and folding that into your everyday style can be liberating! Additionally, seasonal trends like boxer shorts for warmer days and turtlenecks for cooler weather can bring a little extra joy when picking out outfits each day.

Overall, it's important to remember that no matter what route you take in crafting a wardrobe that affirms your gender identity, it is an act of self-love to seek out items and styles that keep expressing who you are as an individual.

Live in the Present Moment

Another important thing you can do to live a happy life without transitioning is to live in the present moment. The present moment is all we have. It's impossible to be in the past or the future, so why not make the most of now? If you're suffering from gender dysphoria, it can be tempting to want to transition. But that's not the only way to be happy.

There are people who are not doing hormone therapy and are living contentedly without transitioning. It is possible to find peace in the present moment regardless of how you feel about your body. The key is to focus on your mental and emotional state, rather than your physical appearance. If you can do that, you'll be one step closer to happiness.

Surround Yourself With Positive People

Surrounding yourself with positive people is one of the most helpful ways to treat gender dysphoria without transitioning. We all need some good vibes in our lives to keep our heads up high and it is even more important if you are someone who is struggling.

When your gender identity doesn't match your biological sex, it's easy to feel out of place. But with a little love and support from the right people, you can learn to be happy within yourself. It starts by understanding that everyone has their gender identity which should be respected and accepted no matter what.

Be sure to surround yourself with people who understand this - those who respect your decisions and will be there for you always. Find friends and family members who have similar interests as you so that your conversations are meaningful and inspiring as you share stories about yourselves. Cultivating strong connections can help foster strong self-esteem since we can feel loved and appreciated for who we are rather than simply going through the motions of life.

A good company should lead to self-love which is an essential part of managing your gender dysphoria without taking drastic steps like transitioning if that isn't what feels natural for you make sure you're surrounded by only positive people - not just as a means of treating gender dysphoria but also as a way to find joy in life and inner peace each day!

Be Grateful for What You Have

Treating gender dysphoria without transitioning is difficult for many, but it can be done. One secret to finding peace and happiness in this journey is to be grateful for what you have. On those days when dysphoria threatens to sink one into a hole, it may be helpful to practice gratitude.

Make a list of all the things that you are grateful for, for example, family, your friends, the sunlight streaming through your window, or whatever comes to mind. Then take some time every day to reflect on these different items and appreciate them deeply. This simple act of being grateful can have an immensely calming effect that really helps with treating gender dysphoria. When life’s struggles are causing distress, gratitude can bring strength and courage that pulls us through no matter what we face.

Do Not Compare Yourself to Others

Gender dysphoria can be a particularly difficult emotion to deal with, as it often makes us feel like we are trapped inside our own bodies. However, there is hope for those who do not feel ready for medical transition.

One of the most important steps in dealing with gender dysphoria is to not compare ourselves too much with others. Comparison triggers our inner critic, which can make us feel like we are inadequate or less than those around us. Instead, we should focus on ourselves and learn how to love and accept ourselves just as we are.

We can try to develop coping strategies such as expressive writing or creating art or forming peer support groups that help us stay connected and empowered. We can also find activities that give us a sense of purpose so that we don't focus solely on our gender dysphoria. Remembering that each of us is a unique individual and that no two paths will be the same is an important part of being content without transitioning.

Take Care of Yourself

By taking care of yourself, living with gender dysphoria doesn't have to be torturous. Enhancing your well-being is a great way to reduce feelings of distress and build resilience. Self-care can look like a range of different activities, from mindful meditation and yoga to listening to inspiring music and engaging in creative activities that bring you joy.

Self-nurturing holistic practices, such as herbal remedies and aromatherapy, can also support mind and body healing for trans people. Going for walks in nature or spending time with friends and family can increase your confidence and happiness levels significantly. Making the time to provide yourself with the physical and emotional nourishment you deserve is essential when learning how to live happily without transitioning genders.

Seek Professional Help if Needed

If you are suffering from gender dysphoria and have no desire to transition, seek professional help as soon as possible. Mental health professionals can provide comprehensive care to LGBTQ+ individuals who are searching for successful ways to cope with their dysphoria without transitioning.

It's important to find a healthcare provider who is knowledgeable and affirming of gender diversity so that your identity is properly respected throughout the process. Through specialized gender therapy and psychotherapy sessions, counselors can offer coping skills such as mindfulness meditation and positive self-talk in order to maintain acceptance and contentment amidst feelings of inner conflict.

Additionally, professionals may be able to help individuals explore new activities or interests that could provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment, making it easier to identify non-transitioning paths of living that work best for them. Thus, seeking professional help is an essential step toward handling gender dysphoria while still being happy with the current body that one resides in.

These strategies, when used in combination, can help individuals achieve inner peace without transitioning genders and stop worrying about secondary sex characteristics. By shifting our focus from comparison and judgment to gratitude and acceptance, we can learn how to be content with ourselves just as we are. And by taking care of ourselves through holistic self-care practices and professional help if needed, we can continue living our lives with respect and ease.

Importance of Therapy and Self-Acceptance

The power of therapy and self-acceptance lies in its ability to create positive emotional changes in our lives. By actively engaging in therapeutic activities, we are able to gain insight into ourselves and the driving forces behind our thoughts and behaviors. Understanding where our emotional responses come from can assist us in working through difficult experiences, as well as provide a space for us all to learn more about ourselves and build resilience.

Through this process of self-awareness, we can also build a level of self-acceptance, that allows us to better accept ourselves on an emotional level, as well as appreciate and accept the parts of ourselves that may be perceived by others as weaknesses or fault lines.

Given how challenging it can be to bear the burden of our emotions alone, embracing both therapy and self-acceptance provides guidance and support yet also allows each person to find their own path towards understanding themselves better.

Tips for Managing Dysphoria in Everyday Life

Understand Your Triggers

Understanding our triggers and how to manage them can be invaluable when struggling with dysphoria in everyday life. The triggers can be physical, such as certain smells or people; they can be emotional, like memories of past experiences; and they can be cognitive, like thoughts and beliefs.

Paying attention to how we react to these stimuli and recognizing when our emotions are beginning to spiral out of control is key if we want to find success in managing gender dysphoria.

It can help us take proactive steps to manage, rather than allow the triggers to control us. Keeping a self-reflection journal can help make this process more tangible by providing a space to consistently track and document our symptoms, experiences, thoughts, and behaviors associated with dysphoria.

This helps us put what we learn into practice by actively noticing how certain activities, environments, or interactions with others either increase or decrease dysphoria. With practice, we can become conscious of what we need to do to cope effectively with intense feelings of dysphoria. Additionally, research has found that creating an action plan for responding to these triggers plays a significant role in supporting positive mental health outcomes.

Develop a Support System

Understanding and managing dysphoria can be a difficult and emotional process that many don't expect to have to deal with. One of the most important tips for managing dysphoria in everyday life is developing a support system. This would include carefully selecting who you let into your life and trust in. Having access to people with non-judgmental attitudes, education on the topics, understanding of different perspectives, and an open mind will make the entire process more approachable.

Other forms of self-care, such as taking breaks from social media or other activities during difficult times can also be beneficial so that you don't end up working yourself up even further emotionally within yourself. Appropriate sources of stress relief may not always be available and a strong support system could be exactly what is necessary for dealing with dysphoria appropriately in day-to-day life.

Take Care of Your Physical Health

Taking care of your physical health is an essential strategy for managing dysphoria in everyday life. Being mindful of the things you are putting into your body is key; it is important to engage in healthy eating habits and make sure you're getting the proper nutrients from quality sources.

Eating a healthy diet can help regulate moods, energy levels, and overall physical well-being. A healthy diet includes foods that are nutrient-rich, low in sugar and healthy fats. Make sure to provide adequate amounts of essential vitamins and minerals. Fruits and vegetables, lean meats, and whole grains are all important components of a balanced diet.

Additionally, taking time to engage in regular exercise can help by releasing endorphins, providing an energized feeling afterward, which can be very beneficial when dealing with dysphoria. Exercise also helps relieve stress, which can be a huge help when it comes to managing dysphoria on a daily basis.

Furthermore, engaging in mind-body practices such as yoga or meditation helps by calming and grounding us while connecting us to something bigger than ourselves. When feeling overwhelmed or out of touch with our bodies, having a physical practice that emphasizes sensation and mindfulness practice can be a useful tool when it comes to regaining control and harmony within ourselves.

Find Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Finding healthy coping mechanisms is one of the best ways to manage dysphoria in everyday life. While it can be easy to default to unhealthy behaviors such as numbing out through substance use, it's important to recognize that these responses offer only temporary relief and often become more harmful in the long run. To really take charge of managing dysphoria, you must build a toolbox of healthy coping strategies that you can draw on no matter what feelings come up.

Some helpful tips for building this toolbox include finding positive distractions, engaging in body-affirming activities that make you feel good, nurturing relationships with yourself and other people who care about you, developing spiritual practices and routines, being creative - anything that speaks to your soul and centers you back into yourself.

Exercise

Exercise is an incredible outlet for relieving this pressure, proving time and time again its ability to positively improve both mental and physical health. The best exercise routines are those that you truly enjoy and that can provide a physical challenge. Anything from running, and weightlifting, to dancing or even walking 30 minutes each day is an excellent way to release tension and increase endorphins in the brain which will help manage dysphoria on a daily basis.

Not only does exercise help to reduce stress, but it also offers additional benefits like a healthier body, improved sleep quality, and increased energy levels. It serves as a healthy coping mechanism that not only addresses current adverse emotions but actively prevents the symptoms of future anxiety. Therefore, setting aside time to take part in some form of physical activity could be one of the best decisions you make for yourself each day.

Arts and crafts

For those who are dealing with gender dysphoria and do not wish to transition, painting can provide a positive outlet that allows creative expression while cultivating feelings of peace. In fact, many people find the act of painting to be deeply relaxing and therapeutic.

As paintbrush meets canvas, worries, and burdens of the day melt away as their minds are engulfed with their creative process. The multitude of color choices all contribute to a unique, personalized expression for each individual person. Painting can also distract from intrusive thoughts associated with gender dysphoria by providing a constructive visual stimulus that helps direct attention in more productive ways.

Moreover, working on pieces that reflect one’s identity provides an opportunity for self-discovery and affirmation on one’s own terms. Painting provides an avenue where self-growth is nurtured without pressure from outside influences or demands.

The inclusion of diverse media such as music or poetry adds an extra layer for exploration into one's feeling of self-identity; allowing for nuanced representational imagery that can be even more meaningful than words alone. If you’re looking for sustenance during stress - put your brush to paper and explore your artistic side!

Practice relaxation techniques.

Facing gender dysphoria can be immensely difficult and often many don’t want to transition due to various factors; however, that doesn’t mean they have to suffer in silence. One of the best coping mechanisms is practicing relaxation techniques as it helps to ease stress and encourages clarity of thought. It’s important to take time for yourself in whatever form that may take, whether it’s reading a book, watching a film, going for a walk, or simply sitting with your thoughts.

It also helps if you have someone who you feel comfortable talking to openly or even writing down your reflections. Doing this allows room for introspection and clear-mindedness by providing an outlet for emotions. These techniques can help dramatically when managing gender dysphoria; so be sure to make time for yourself as often as possible and focus on what makes you feel most relaxed.

Incorporating any or all of these suggestions into daily life can make a huge difference in helping to manage dysphoria. It’s important to remember that transitioning is not the only way to achieve inner peace – there are plenty of alternatives out there and it’s up to you to explore what works best for you. Finding a balance between self-care, creativity, exercise, and relaxation has been proven time and time again as an effective way of managing dysphoria, achieving inner peace, and ultimately living a healthier, happier life. So take the time to nourish your body and mind – you won’t regret it!

Can Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Help to Relieve Gender Dysphoria?

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a therapeutic approach that can help people to cope with life's difficulties, such as gender dysphoria. CBT strategies treat symptoms by changing thinking and behavior patterns, helping individuals to bring awareness to their forms of expression and ultimately easing the anxiety that arises from feeling at odds with societal norms. Participants might focus on reframing negative thoughts and developing coping skills, in addition to exploring more concrete elements such as family dynamics, decision-making skills, and problem-solving processes.

Gender dysphoria can bring up a wide range of emotions, and CBT works to navigate these feelings through various techniques such as guided mindfulness and dialoguing about affected areas. By reducing gender dissonance through this approach, participants can develop better insight into why they feel like they do and learn new ways of communicating their unique perspectives and lived experiences. In many cases, cognitive behavioral therapy has been one of the most effective means for patients struggling with gender dysphoria to be able to improve their situation and heal from their distress.

Final Thoughts

Living with gender dysphoria can be difficult, but it doesn’t have to be a hopeless journey. By taking the time to understand what triggers your dysphoria and by developing healthy coping mechanisms, you can learn how to manage it in everyday life. Additionally, having a supportive network of family and friends as well as seeking professional help can be an important part of achieving inner peace.

With the right resources and support, it is possible to learn how to live with dysphoria in a positive and healthy way. And if you know someone who is struggling with gender dysphoria, remember that compassionate care and understanding are key for them to feel safe, accepted, and loved. By building bridges of understanding, we can make a difference in the lives of those who need it most.

[bratz-kitten]

There’s this one quote in asoiaf: “She did not come to him, however. She has never come to me, he thought. She has always waited, letting me come to her. She gives, but I must ask.” (it’s from the scene where Jaime meets Cersei at the Sept, if you’re curious.) And, bro. I feel like this is something capricorn and cancer moons, and people with cancer and capricorn on the ic/mc axis can heavily relate to... this feeling of conditional love. This lingering knowing that you always have to give before receiving, that you can’t get anything without having to beg for it. The way we start believing that nothing can ever come easily because we were raised in an environment that taught us that we had to work hard to receive the bare minimum. The way we get so suspicious when things are going smoothly-- which translates into a thinking process of “this is too good to be true, where’s the catch?” when things just aren’t excruciatingly painful for once. 

Conditional/unconditional love is hard to define and explain, but I think this website puts it very simply: "When someone loves us conditionally, it means that they put terms, restrictions, or rules on the giving of their love. While a person can have feelings of deep care or affection for you, their love is conditional if it feels like you have to earn it. Additionally, conditional love often vanishes during difficult times. We can perhaps term this “fairweather love,” meaning that your partner, family member, or friend, emotionally or literally bails when times get tough. Conditional love doesn’t feel good. It’s not a tried-and-true love and often it can cause deep pain to those on the receiving end. If someone is making you feel unworthy of love, even at your darkest times, this person is offering conditional love which, as we will learn, is contrary to the very definition of love." 

Something that I’ve noticed with capricorn moons/capricorn ic people is that there’s always this thing with control in their childhood... either too much or too little of it, always at the end of one of the spectrums. The native either feels too controlled by the parent, like they can’t even breath without feeling restricted and treated with possessiveness by the parent, or having way too much freedom and lack of structure in the household, with parents who were too absent to set rules for the kid, making them feel very neglected. Either way, there’s always this distress when it comes to asking their parents for help because first, they have to mentally prepare themselves for hearing their parents complain about having to help them for hours, “I give you food AND a roof to sleep under, and you still ask me to drive you to your friend’s home?” + the constant manipulation and verbal mistreatment that the native has learned to expect. And like, I know that it’s a common practice on the astro community to complain about capricorn placements and their inability to ask for help, but it’s like... babes, we’re like this for a reason LMFAO. We don’t ever ask for help because it was ingrained in our brains that to ask for help means to be stripped of our dignity, to be insulted and humiliated for wanting more than what our parents feel we deserve (which is the bare minimum, most often). 

With cancer moons/cancer ic people, people always praise them for their insane emotional awareness and the way they intuitively feel what the people around them feel... but we need to acknowledge that they were like that because they had to. They had to develop emotional intelligence and always be in tune with the moods of the people in their household because that’s the strategy they learned to avoid conflict in the household. The family environment tends to be heavily charged with emotional volatility and random bursts of explosive anger, so the native learns to calm down the conflict before it has any chance of escalating. You’ll find these people constantly hyper-aware of the feelings of their loved ones, asking “are you sure you’re okay?” “did I do anything to upset you?” and blaming themselves for the unhappiness of those around them because they’re so used to their role of keeping everyone’s emotions in check (which is toxic, by the way. If this resonates with you, remember that other people's emotions aren't your fault and it's not your job to nurture everyone into a good state of mind at the detriment of your own needs.) 

This quote is the first subtle peek we get into the messy and incredibly toxic dynamic between those two, to how Jaime always has to walk around on eggshells around Cersei to not anger her, how her love is as conditional and manipulative as it gets. She's good to him when it serves her and when she can get something out of the situation-- and degrades him when he's of no use to her anymore. Which is, you know. Oddly relatable. So, if there’s anything I need to make sure you take away from this, it’s that things are supposed to flow smoothly. Especially your bonds with your loved ones, they aren’t supposed to be difficult and filled with sacrifice and the burden of responsibility-- they are supposed to be nice and soft and you shouldn’t limit yourself by the belief that you have to work painfully hard to have your needs met, that nothing ever comes easily. Just because it was like that in your childhood it doesn’t have to keep being that way. Allow yourself to receive love without side-eyeing the situation, expecting something terrible to suddenly happen. Give yourself the unconditional love you deserve, and this starts with allowing yourself to have fun and cozy experiences. 

[tommybaholland]

hi!! i was wondering if you could do kuroo, kenma, yamaguchi, nishinoya, and suna if they learn their s/o is relapsing into sh? if youre not comfy with this i completely understand, and i hope you have an amazing day/night <3

comforting their s/o over self-harm

featuring: kuroo, kenma, yamaguchi, nishinoya and suna

content warning here as there are mentions of cutting, blood, depression and other themes surrounding mental illness. if you or a loved one is struggling, please refer to this resource which explains why self-harm occurs and alternative options. this writing does not serve to romanticize any of the above mentioned but i hope you find comfort from reading it <3

kuroo feels heartbroken seeing you in such a state of distress but he wants to be strong for you as it takes everything in him not to cry. he is probably the best at comforting people as he always knows what to say. he recognizes that this is not about him even though he wants to be selfish and tell you that he wouldn’t know what to do without you. he needs you to be strong and to fight this urge to hurt yourself but it’s okay if you’re neither of those at the present moment. time has a way of healing both physical and mental scars. he wants to be there with you through that time as you recover from this slip and remind you that you’re not too broken to fix. he’s someone who focuses on the present moment, helping you clean and wrap bandages over your wounds before making some tea and getting comfy with you in bed, reassuring you with all the steps you can take to make yourself feel better again. 

kenma wants to be the best he can for you as you’ve given him so much and he feels like you deserve the same in return. learning about your struggles with depression and self-harm somewhat shocked him like why would someone as wonderful as you have to suffer through something so horrible? he didn’t know when he would see that side of you because as far as he knew, you were always happy or at least, looked that way. finding out that you had relapsed into self-harm one day had admittedly thrown him for a loop. he wasn’t prepared and was honestly in much distress himself when he walked into the bathroom to see such an awful scene. he tried to remain calm as he focused on cleaning and wrapping up your arm, washing the red stains away. being the blunt person he is, he had to ask why. his tears fell when you couldn’t answer him. “don’t worry, i’ll be here for you through all of it. we can find out together why you’re hurting so you can never feel that pain again.” 

yamaguchi would openly cry when seeing you relapse and what you’ve done to yourself, the blood dripping down your arm as old scars revert back into fresh wounds. part of him is angry and frustrated that you would do this again but the other part, the majority, wants to gather you in his arms to shield you from whatever is haunting you, making you do this to yourself. he doesn’t say anything, afraid that his voice would be too loud and break the silence like a glass window. he simply helps you up and takes care of your injury before wrapping you up in a blanket. this is the part where he has to speak. he knows you’ve struggled before but it was before you were together and you promised you would be okay. you cried together about it and you finally spoke up about how you felt like a failure for breaking that promise. “p-please don’t say that,” he whispers, still sobbing. “you’re not a failure and never have been. we’ll work together to make you feel better again if that’s what it takes.” 

nishinoya would not be the best at comforting you as he doesn’t understand why you would want to hurt yourself but he would at least try his best. his first question would be ‘why?’ and he regrets it immediately. he doesn’t want you to suffer and wishes he could just take it all away from you. if he could, he would bear the burden if it meant you were happy forever. he feels useless in this situation but he does what he can as he pulls you in his lap, wraps his arms around you and rocks you comfortingly back and forth. he whispers words of encouragement behind you, practically pleading for you to be okay. he wants to apologize for how oblivious he was to this event but he realizes that he needs to focus on you and your recovery from it. he plans to ask you what he can do to help later on when you’re more rested but he does his own research on how to be a good support system for you as you sleep beside him. he occasionally reaches over to rub your head or back, your soft breathing subsiding his tears. 

suna isn’t the best with words and prefers to use actions to show his affections and comfort for you anyway. when he sees the fresh scars, you’re the one doing most of the talking or rather, apologizing for doing it and trying to hide it from him. it’s hard to read his expressions as he doesn’t have too many. you’re afraid of what he’ll do or say, fearing the absolute worst of him getting up and never seeing him again. instead, he simply takes your wrist gently in his hand, bringing it up to his lips, warmth pressing into your skin as he leaves little kisses. he then reveals that he’s known or at least, suspected it for a while but didn’t know how to bring it up. as much as you can get on his nerves sometimes, he nevers wants you to feel like this, like you’re not good enough or whatever the source of your depression. he tries to shower you with love and affirmations that you are enough, especially to him.

stay safe and healthy everyone! any burning desires??

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[izzyliker]

and i’m increasingly thinking about what that whole “i don’t have any friends” thing means re ed and his mental state when he’s in the active state of like acute distress and reliving his trauma. like, i think the reason that statement can’t necessarily be taken at face value is specifically because he’s not fully in the present in that scene, he’s completely fractured between the past and the present. like and i can’t tell you what the writers meant but the cuts to the mirrors around the room and how we see ed in these distorted pieces of mirror and the way the light reflects and shows everything just slightly weird, how ed isn’t just vulnerable but childish in output and emotional regulation, i really do firmly believe he’s not saying it as Ed As He Is Now, An Adult but rather as Ed As A Child, Without Friends.

i’ve already made a post about ed as a system and tumblr user uselessheretic made my absolute fav meta post in the fandom about ed & trauma & coping so it’s like there’s a limited amount of new analysis i can present here, but to me it really is a really astute portrayal of someone who’s completely torn apart by a strong visceral vivid trauma flashback, unable to ground himself in the present, speaking simultaneously as a child seeking comfort and as an adult going through the guilt of almost killing someone who’s been nothing but kind to him.

is ed a bad person because he killed? because he’s conspiring to kill? was he a bad person before, as a child, to deserve his home life, his lack of friends? it’s so hard to conceptualize the loneliness of growing up like that so “i don’t have any friends” is probably genuinely the most accurate and articulate way of explaining his helplessness. what does stede saying “i’m your friend” do to ed there? i think it grounds him, to be honest, like, brings him back to the present, real life, where he’s distressed but physically safe. you know? and he sort of just pushes all this back down almost immediately and this whole moment is the like. first step towards even acknowledging his trauma at all (and i do believe this is the first time he realizes that he was the person who killed his dad at all; i don’t think he was putting on an act) and not some kind of a “he’s coping now” moment because he’s decidedly not; he continues on to have extremely volatile moods and personality changes, but i digress. in any case i think the friendship sentiment there doesn’t necessarily reflect his actual feelings about the people he’s around or even himself in the present day (even when jack insists pirates don’t have friends) but rather his emotional state and regression into his childhood self when he’s flashing back to his traumatic childhood