#don’t read all my hashtags i’m a freak

[actias-luna]

i will not waste my money on the new pokémon game. i will not waste my money on the new pokémon game. i will not waste my money on the new pokémon game. i will not waste my money on the new pokémon game. i will not waste my money on the new pokémon game. i will not waste my money on the new pokémon game. i will not waste my money on the new pokémon game.

[badcholesterolsblog]

Welcome to my blog, you can call me Bad Cholesterol but I love all pet names, Bunny, Sweetness, Babycakes.. anything you like.

My asks and DMs are always open, nothing is overstepping ask me whatever the fuck you want.

I read and appreciate all messages but can’t always find the time to reply, please don’t take it personally I love to read your messages.

I’m twenty three, I’m a ffa/feeder from Australia and I repost feedism content that can be very dark, immobility, force feeding etc.

Originally I was posting just for myself almost like a diary, I share whatever turns me on and if that inspires others then I’m extremely grateful I can do that for you.

Posts I write myself and answered asks will be under the hashtag #badcholesterol

GET TO KNOW ME

I’m a figure skater, I’ll be eligible to compete in the coming years but I’m working on taking pressure off myself—thinking about stuffing someone helps with that.

In my personal life I’m actually a huge health freak. I eat a mostly organic meat-based diet and genuinely haven’t had even a SIP of soft drink in roughly 4 years. I don’t eat fast food—at all. I don’t drink coffee or alcohol—I simply don’t like it nor do I need it. 🤷🏼‍♀️ (sorry if this turns you off lol)

NOW this being said I don’t feel the same way about a feedee in fact go ahead and eat all the junk you like.. It’s a turn on. Me being so health oriented compared just makes it that much hotter.

I bake in my spare time anything from chocolate hot cross buns to almond and Nutella scrolls. Baking is my love language, obviously.

I value education and seeking knowledge. I often watch YouTube essays and documentaries on just about anything: Egyptian history, political history, human behaviour, animal behaviour, lucid dreaming.. so on so forth.

REAL TALK

YES I love manipulation, persuasion and enabling, but if you’re only here to be accepted and loved, NOT because you want to fatten up like a stuffed pig, please don’t think your only chance of love is by fulfilling others kink.

Don’t sacrifice your life to join somebody elses.

I don’t want to see you on my 600lb life regretting your choices.

Love is free.

This is my Amazon since I’ve had quite a few of you ask, and what girl doesn’t love gifts.. 💳 💝

[ladyloveandjustice]

I Read the Odyssey-The Liveblogyssey! (Part 3)

The Odyssey liveblog continues! See the liveblog from the beginning here.

We continue with the Odyssey!

Ino informs Odysseus of the basic fact that heavy clothes are hard to swim in (which you think he’d know as a guy who spends so much time at sea but I digress) and tells him to strip, then gives him a magic immortal veil to tie around his chest, though he’s gotta toss it back in the ocean the second he gets to shore. Odysseus, understandably, does not trust any god at this point and is pretty skeptical, but is eventually forced to try to swim.

Poseidon is like “at last you are in pain” Dude, I think he’s been in pain well before this.

Odysseus finally crawls to shore, completely naked, and goes to sleep. Meanwhile, a princess called Nausicaa (not the one from the hit Miyazaki movie and manga, but her namesake. That sadly means she isn’t hanging out with giant bugs) is urged by Athena to wander down towards Odysseus.

Wanting him to make a good impression on Nausicaa, Athena turns Odysseus super hot and buff. I’m not kidding, it says she “poured attractiveness onto his shoulders”. I love that the gods can give you a makeover. She makes him look “bigger and sturdier” and makes “his hair grow curling tendrils like a hyacinth”.

Apparently she can’t give Odysseus clothes though, so he is forced to awkwardly “cover his manly parts” with a hunk of driftwood when he jumps out to speak to Nausicaa. He considers going to beg her help by kissing her knees, but decides that a naked man grabbing her knees would probably freak her out, good call. He gives this incredibly long speech about how beautiful she is that would probably freak most people out, but Nausicaa likes it. Thus, Odysseus is introduced to the king and queen.

Everyone loves Odysseus of course, and there’s a big party. Like all cool parties, there’s a poet there, and he tells this wild story about Ares and Aphrodite’s courtship I’ve either never heard or forgotten about:

Hephaestus suspected that Aphrodite was cheating on him, so he made chains so fine they were invisible and put them around the bed like spiderwebs, so then when Ares and Aphrodite slept together, they got all trapped.

Hephaestus hollered about it, wanting his dowry back (which…apparently the gods have dowries? What did Hephaestus use to pay them? Do the gods have currency? The only thing I think they could want is sacrifices, so maybe Hephaestus paid in that. Apparently sacrifices are transferable).

 So Poseidon, Hermes, and Apollo come to see, and Hermes is all “Hephaestus, who is lame and slow, has used his skill to catch the fastest sprinter.” Wow thanks Hermes love that backhanded complement.

And Apollo and Hermes also instantly become frat boys. Apollo is like “lol lol Hermes, my brother, would you like to sleep with golden Aphrodite in her bed even weighted down by mighty chains?

And Hermes responds “lol lol I would be bound three times as tight and let you gods and all your wives look on”. Which really makes it sounds like he’s just a kinky little bastard. Had bondage been invented yet in Ancient Greece? Probably. Maybe Hephaestus accidentally invented it. The true origin.

Poseidon is like ‘are you two twelve or something knock it off” and says “Hephaestus look I know Ares is stupid, but I promise he’ll pay you back the dowry, just let him go”

Hephaestus is like “hmmm I don’t know if I should”

Then Poseidon is like "look I will pay you back if he dodges his debt. Just let him go”.

Poseidon is a surprisingly devoted uncle! He will also go all out for his son later, so I guess “devoted to family” is his literal only good point.

So Hephaestus lets them go. And Aphrodite flounces off, completely unbothered, and just goes back to her island to get oil rubbed on her by beautiful girls (yes this is how they put it). hashtag flawless.

But the poet is not just content with this silly story! He starts singing about Troy and poor Odysseus is just sitting there quietly sobbing, pulling up his hood so no one can see him. He’s doing this for MULTIPLE SONGS and the king is right there and just sits uncomfortably for a while before FINALLY saying “hey y’all how about we give the lyre a rest and play sport or something.”

But I guess Ody enjoyed all that crying and really wants to do it again, because he actually ASKS the poet for a song about the Trojan horse. Like dude you know it’s going to be traumatic for you why do this to yourself.

Homer does a MASSIVE self plug, saying this COOL poet is telling the Trojan war SO accurately it’s like he was THERE and Ody praises him more than ANYONE!!! It’s so blatant it’s hilarious.

So when the Bard starts singing about the Trojan horse and “dreadful violence” Ody and crew committed, and of course Odysseus just falls to the ground sobbing “as a woman weeps when she fails to wrap her arms around her husband, fallen fighting for his home and children. She watches as he gasps and dies. She shrieks, a clear high wail, collapsing on his corpse. The men are right behind. They hit her shoulder with their spears and lead her to slavery, hard labor and a life of pain”.

Some serious irony here, considering how Odysseus inflicted exactly this on countless women during the Trojan War. I think this was likely intentional. Homer’s a smart guy, so I think it was his aim to have Odysseus relive the pain of his many victims, as he recalls the violence he wrought. Especially since he confirms that he helped with the abduction and rape of Trojan women a few lines later.

Which, as an aside, I don’t know why people are so focused on whether Odysseus cheated on Penelope with Circe when he did something way more horrible than cheat on Penelope---he assisted in the abduction and rape of other women, and probably even participated (I think if he didn’t, the Iliad would have noted that, since it was common practice so him refusing would have been notable)! I’d be much more horrified to find my husband did than him knocking boots with a goddess. But the thing is, Penelope probably knew he’d be doing that. It was an expected wartime practice. I saw a post that “if you believe Odysseus slept with Circe multiple times you believe all men want sex all the time" and I want to be like…okay I obviously don’t believe that about men, but I can acknowledge that’s what the Ancient Greeks largely believed which greatly changes the intention of the text. Men were expected to take “war prizes” or in Sparta’s case, sleep with younger men, because there was this idea that men needed a way to fulfill their sexual appetites while separated from their wives. The war prize practice was wrong then and it’s wrong now, but when interrogating a text like this you have acknowledge the environment it was created in, what cultural values shaped it, and that there’s no way Odysseus can come out as a “good person” or “good husband” from our perspective. You can’t turn away from the practices he engaged in, you can’t wash away the terrible things he did.

Anyway. Back on topic. The king notices Odysseus is crying again and is like “whoa stop playing that song!!! this party is clearly not fun for all!”

And then he uh, quizzes Ody about his PTSD. Seems kind of rude but okay! As a result, Odysseus finally reveals his name and sits down to tell his cool story.

(as an aside Ody mentions using a knot he learned from Circe. Apparently tying knots are among Circe’s talents???)

Then we get to what I think is the most interesting thing I’ve discovered this reading this, something we never went over in high school and college. Which is that, for the portion of the story he tells, the text seems to really indicate that Odysseus is an unreliable narrator. It’s pounded in your head what a great liar he is right before he tells his story.  In face, the very last line before be begins his tales is “Wily Odysseus, lord of lies, answered”. That really seems to imply to me that parts of this story might be fabricated, possibly tailored to make him look better because he wants these people to like him and help him get home. And that’s interesting, thinking what may be a lie! Obviously all the parts with Calypso that happened before this are true, as they’re not part of the telling. And some broad facts like Ody angered the cyclops, angered Poseidon, is true as gods and other comment on it.

But what about the details? Was Odysseus as faultless as he makes himself appear, and were his men as stupid as he has them appear? I think it’s incredibly likely he might have been more to blame for some of the deaths than he lets on. Did he even beat Circe in a fight? Did he even sleep with her? And what if there are details he deliberately leaves out, or even more painful things he doesn’t mention?

It's tantalizing to think about, and it’s weird I’ve never heard of that aspect before this.

But now we've finally gotten to the parts everyone remembers about the Odyssey. As such, I think I'll go at a much quicker pace, since anyone who's has it assigned in high school knows the basics, I'll just be commenting on weird little details. Til next time!

[ropebuny]

Thank you and the other anon for the compliments. You're correct about the dominant to submissive ratio. I once found an article where the author suggested that the ratio was somewhere around 1 authentic dominant for every 13 submissives.

Unfortunately, Tumblr nuked that along with the rest of my original blog. I'll work to find it and write about it again. My asks to you are the first writing I've done in over 2 years since I lost my blog, and I appreciate your perspectives.

I'll admit to being out of touch with the tumblr bdsm crowd. Your post about the girl who basically sexts on her blog piqued my curiosity. It seems there's a surfeit of barely legal (allegedly may be more accurate) girls (or catfish) who do the same thing. None of them are using cnc hashtags, but are using actual assault terms. I fail to understand the allure of doing so. Safety comes first in SSC. And group sexting just makes it seem like there are a bunch of dogs humping the same dining room table leg. What is the appeal?

that is a crazy ratio and it really infuriates me. and I’m glad you are writing again even if it’s just asks to me, I greatly appreciate your input. and I’d love to read more of your writing if you ever choose to share it or if you ever remake that blog

and yeah I’ve noticed that !!! people on here don’t use the terms cnc and whatever consensual kinky terms we have anymore but they instead use tags that have to do with words like molestation or something. it’s weird. and they always have to use numbers and symbols to cover up the bad word and idk I get such a bad feeling when I see those tags that are like censored with numbers and symbols. makes me feel gross. and I get soo mad when I see people use tags like ‘p3do bait’ it makes me so irritated because I’ve seen actual pedos on here and I don’t want to be associated with a gross tag like that, because there’s actual freaks on here and people using those tags can so quickly lure one into their life. and it’s usually bad people using those tags or barely legal teenage girls who are just getting into the whole kink thing, I’ve noticed. which is a match made in hell because then those creeps find these vulnerable girls through those gross tags. ok I’m rambling now but yeah I don’t see the appeal either !! and I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks so because I never really see anyone talking about these things on here. so the absence of people criticizing it makes it all seem so normal and I’d hate for these things to be considered normal. and there’s soo many minors on here and I see them interacting with grown adults who are preying on them and it makes me so angry how almost normalised it is on here. every other blog I see is a minor who has “18” in quotation marks in their bio, clearly instigating they aren’t yet over 18. and they get so much attention and asks and notes when they aren’t even hiding the fact that they’re underage, it’s sickening and it makes me so mad how many pedos hang around on tumblr

[jlheon]

penggg! have you listened to bea’s new album? i did and i’m obsessed with california and one time!!

which song was your fave? plus, thoughts on the release? <333

missing your works 💗 (but take your time!!)

hai!!! these are my thoughts!!! (this is how it went & a cruel affair & everything i want) — btw this is kinda long u don’t have to read it all 😭😭

take a bite — 10/10 wbk. i am taking a bite hell yeah i am!!!! this song is so hoonki coded i will not explain further u just have to understand by being on my intellectual level.

california — 9/10 i want to go to california… the whole song is so woah icl! the bridge is insane oh my gosh I LOVE BEABADOOBEE

one time — 10/10 HECK YEAH!!! this song is literally me winning the idgaf war at all times! awesome beat n song n lyrics FUCK YOU !!!!! the outro is actually insane bea the lyrical genius you are… i love her so much

real man — 10/10 U WILL NEVER BE A REAL MAN!!!! this song is also like FUCK U!!! i think i hate men guys freak this i need a gf! again the outro is insane LAWD!!!!

tie my shoes — 9/10 i will sob n throw up this song is so woah. THE ONE PART “lied to a girl u hardly knew but the world thought of you” THE WAY SHE DELIVERS THE LINE IS SO CRAZY BEAUTIFUL I LOVE BEA SO MUCH PLZ TIE MY SHOES

girl song — 10/10 this song is a real representation of me fighting my demons every couple days when i have one of my weekly crash outs woah. i will sob n cry again this is so me unfortunately

coming home — 9/10 it was a 10/10 my first listens but i overplayed it sobs. oh but this song made me cry even just the demo version becoz it makes me think of being married n not having time for each other and that is terrifying LONG DISTANCE I WILL NEVER DO THAT PROLLY.

ever seen — 8.5/10 i like but not as much as the other songs YK. its very happy n peppy tho i hope i have a meetcute one day. TO TELL MY KIDS ABT BRU. this song is jake coded becuz hes the prettiest ever..

a cruel affair — 100/10 me song again! love this instrumental for realz. this song is too short it should be 3 minutes at minimum poo… this song barely has any lyrics too. EXTENDED VERSION PLEASEEEE

post — 8/10 for some reason i don’t understand what this song is about like i was analyzing the lyrics and i rlly don’t know but the song is awesome regardless

beaches — 10/10 Yes! i really want to go on vacation to a tropical place so i can dissociate for a while n get my shit together ngl.. THE INSTRUMENTAL BREAK IS SO GOOD BRU WTF PLEEK I LOVE BEA SM

everything i want — 1000/10 NEED THIS AT MY WEDDING /SRS. no like actually this song makes me so happy n bittersweet plz im everything you want (jake) can we plz get married ill never settle for a regular man. ok but in seriousness its so cute w the lyrics and i hope i feel this way abt someone n vise versa one day when im older! i want to be in love so bad…!!! on REPEAT.

the man who left too soon — 7/10 but only becoz i don’t resonate w any of the lyrics but the song is good it just has to grow on me i reckon…

this is how it went — 1000/10 THIS IS MY SONG. i love the beat so bad it makes me wanna cry but also sway around my room! this song is literally me i love sleeping n not talking to anyone hashtag peng core song!

[carsonian]

Cap-IM Rec Week: Fluffy Friday

@cap-ironman, it's Friday! Coincidentally, I'm in love. 🤔

"met my destiny (in quite a similar way" by ishipallthings (@ishipallthings)

“I’m in love with you.” The spatula in Tony’s hand clatters to the floor with an audible thwack. (In which Tony is incredulous, Steve is determined, and absolutely no pancakes are made for breakfast.)

There's been a longstanding campaign by well-known and less-well-known dentists to delete this fic from the interwebs because of its devastating effect on readers' dental health. 'Nuff said.

"Rushing Headlong in the Wrong (Right) Direction" by nostalgicatsea (@nostalgicatsea)

“Steve,” Jan said slowly, “what did you think you were bidding on?” He could feel the heat of his blush creeping down his face and neck, and considering its intensity, he knew he was as red as a fire hydrant. “Uh,” he said for the second time in minutes. Or: Steve bids on Tony thinking Tony's auctioning off a date and gets something very different instead.

Steve may be the only white man underwhelmed by a wheel of cheese. And to that we all say: respect!

"The Way You Love Me" by Saber_Wing (@saber-wing)

Tony mustered up his best, ‘look at me, I’m so put together,’ voice, the one the press ate right up. And there was next to zero chance Steve was going to buy it, but that wouldn’t stop him from trying. “Don’t worry about me, sugar plum. I’ve got this.��� Tony tried to open his eyes again, as if to prove a point even though no one could see him. And oh, oh no, that was a mistake. Frantically, he grasped for the wastebasket, dry heaving into it. Oh, he did not have this. He did not have this at all. Tony underestimates the severity of one of his migraines, and pays for it.

I really don't use this word lightly so it's after carefully considering every angle that I bring it up here. This fic is: scrump-dilly-icious. Again, I don't use that word lightly. But this fic is. Scrumpdillyicious!

"My Favorite Things" by Captain_Panda

Tony Stark loves Christmas. Too bad he's dating Scrooge's more miserable cousin.

Captain_Panda, the writer you are. . .

"very first words (of a lifelong love letter)" by picturecat (@snoozingcat)

Steve punched a triceratops and all he got was this lousy love confession. (He's pretty happy with it.)

I have no words because when I read this, my body had a magic-girl transformation into just. A pile of goo. So it goes. Hashtag worth it.

There's a reason why The Cure said "It's Friday, I'm in love." Because-- now--here's the reason: it's Friday. We're in love.

Go forth: SteveTony lovers, fuckers, ambassadors, champions, perverts, freaks, losers, dreamers, legends! Read, re-read, kudo, comment, spread legs and spread love.

[sugawhaaa]

Disclaimer~this is a complete work of fiction and is not intended to offend anyone! This is just for pure imagination and creativity.

Kim jungsu x reader

Cuddling Your Fluffy Kitten

Genre~fluff

Warnings~none (that I know of, if there are any please notify me)

Synopsis~basically all of xh are out for dinner but you decided to stay home. That's when your boyfriend comes home and you have a cuddle party

Notes: this is the first fanfic I'm posting and I except to see a big fat 0 when it comes to views but that's okeee bc I'm just doing this for my own fun but if you enjoy it that's great lol (also this is proofread but I suck at reading so there's probably a million mistakes sorry 😭)

You were at home cooking a late dinner. It was about 6:30 pm now and your boyfriend Jungsu had texted you earlier saying he and the boys were going to eat out tonight and had invited you to join them but you kindly declined. The boys told you that they expect to be home at at least seven or eight at the latest. So you had about half an hour left of peace and quiet. You were calmly stirring your own homemade galbitang soup before hearing the front door open.

“Hello?” You called out while still stirring your meaty soup. There was no reply and you started getting curious. You put the lid on the pot and set the ladle on the counter. You walked to the entrance of your shared dorm to find Jungsu. He was kicking off his slip on sneakers while his work bag was swung over his shoulder. He wore a plain white mask up to his eyes and a black cap hat resting above his eyebrows. “Oh Jungsu your home early!?”You said confused and excited “Why are you home so early?” You asked softly, he seemed very tired

“Why? You wanna get rid of me” He chuckled in his low raspy voice.

“No no! I just thought you wanted to go out with your members” You said taking his bag in your hands as he took off his jacket

“I was gonna but, I don’t know I’m tired” He sighed taking his bag out of your hands again

“Oh that’s okay,” You smiled watching him pull off his mask revealing his soft cheeks and plump lips that formed a small grin. “I made some Galbitang, I know you love it so I cooked some extra,”

He stuffed his mask in the pocket of his jeans before slipping off his hat, letting all his fluffy blonde hair fall freely. “Oh you're the best!!” his grin switched into a wide smile “I’m so happy to finally be home. Can I get a hug?” He smiled softly, opening up his arms. You jumped up onto your tippy toes to give yourself a boost to reach your arms around his neck.

“Is that even a question,” You said, embracing him. He then picked you up by the waist and spun you around a bit to tease you. His teasing caused you to freak out calling his name over and over again. He just laughed and set you down

“Alright alright, I’m going to go get changed,” He said, patting you on the head and going off to his room. You went back out to your soup which was probably bubbling a lot more than it was supposed to. Now you were in a much better mood, having your boyfriend accompany you without having 10 other eyes staring you down and 5 other boys saying “Aweee” “hashtag couple goals” and giggling. Not that you didn’t like the other members but just when it comes to you and Jungsu dating they get a little, invasive. So having some time to hang out by yourselves is always nice. As you were analyzing your soup you felt a tall presence behind you, Jungsu no doubt. You then felt a hand creep around your stomach and an arm latch around your waist. “Jungie?” you said tilting your head back a bit.

“Yes?” He said softly, resting his chin on your shoulder

“Dinners done,” You said turning the stove off

“I don’t wanna eat, standing here with you sounds nicer,” Jungsu said as he slowly started swaying side to side wrapping his arms around you. You hummed in agreement. You two stood there for a while humming the tune to “she chose me” by bruno major, swaying side to side. You then gently tapped Jungsu’s arm as a sign to let go of you. He released you from his grasp. You turned to look him in the eyes. He put his hands on the handle of the oven and you wrapped your arms around his neck again. You then leaned in for a kiss which he returned. You broke the kiss and stared into his eyes. Just as you were about to say “I love you" your stomach growled. You burst into laughter and rested your head on his shoulder. He hugged you again with one arm and the other hand on your head gently playing with your hair. He was laughing himself

“I’m hungry, let’s eat” You laughed

~time skip after eating~

After you two finished eating you decided to do the dishes. It mainly consisted of playfully hitting each other with towels and flinging water and soap at each other. After that shenanigans was done with Jungsu went out to the living room and laid down on the couch as you changed into pajamas. You chose to put on some cute matching pink and white short pajamas. After changing you went out to the livingroom and placed yourself onto Jungsu. You put your arms around him as best you could and he put his arm around your back and the other played with your hair. You two were just rambling on about your day, past stories, movies you've watched, music, work etc. It wasn't long before you fell asleep nuzzled in Jungsu's arms. Right after you fell asleep, Jungsu texted the members telling them to come inside QUIETLY just to be sure they won't wake you up.

[jackiebrackettt]

okay so a little lore dump thing for my bitb lab au ^_^ I want to mention that this Will include spoilers (and so i’m putting it under a cut) but please note that I have no current plans to write this fic out more than what you’ve already seen - certainly not to the level where it’s a coherent story at all

however! i am kinda encouraging ppl to write their own versions of it if they want. and if anyone Does do that -> how much they stick with this bit of lore/backstory is up to them

(Tagging @alkalineleak , @kasperconvergence and @transatos bc u guys seemed interested in hearing more :] also! rbs appreciated)

anyway onto the lore:

personally I didn’t want to go too in-depth with an unethical/morally ambiguous lab but there’s elements of that that can be built on. in this au I imagine they’re not all from Galloway bc I think it’s more interesting if Rand Kian and Rolan didn’t know each other beforehand - which feels impossible if they’re all in Galloway

Kian and Becky are exes and this was known by the lab - in fact, they were explicitly seeking out interns who knew either Becky or Rolan. kian’s music career was failing like with canon and someone approached him with the job offer and he took it. the timeline on this is a lil iffy but whateva. kian didn’t know becky was one of the bug monsters until he read the brief and signed the contracts etc etc

the idea here is that the scientists are trying to figure out if previous attachment to a person carries over to the bug-ified version

becky and rolan both turned themselves in to the lab and are there of their own volition. rolan is less there for studying/to help humans and more there bc he doesn’t trust himself and is freaking out. this is why kian says that rolan is safer than becky - as much as becky didn’t want to hurt kian, she wasn’t afraid that she would until it was too late

kian is there because the forms he signed essentially worked as a “i consent to being quarantined if something goes wrong” rand has also signed these. it was Very obvious and they weren’t trying to trick them. kian is mostly just pretending that he’s doing okay and that this is just a bit inconvenient/boring -> he’s pretty freaked out to understate it

relationship-wise: kian had a bit of a relationship with both becky and rolan. both of them very much knew about the other etc etc hashtag poly win! i say “a bit of” bc it was kinda cautious/early stages for both. rolan was starting to open himself up to the idea that he’s not inherently dangerous and then the thing with Becky happened so now he’s back to square 1

now! for the major spoilery bit:

i mentioned earlier that the scientists are specifically looking for interns with connections to the bugs and also that Rand doesn’t have any connection with them. this is bc there is actually a fourth bug monster that they are keeping in the lab and this is the Queen Aka Rachel

once rand gets settled into things they’d probably introduce him to Rachel and then I imagine all hell would break loose - I never really thought too much about plot which is why I’m kinda happy to move on from this idea (also I really don’t need another longfic on my plate o(-( man..) the queen is separated from the other bugs to try and minimise her control over them. i’m also kinda thinking that maybe becky came to the lab specifically to try and get close to the Queen to help her and then kian showed up and things got complicated

real quick: relationship endgame I imagine is nbr+becky dating kian

anyway yeah ^_^ that’s everything I have -> lmk if you have any questions or if ur thinking about taking over this concept from me :]

[feuqueerfire]

FirstKhao Content Index

Started: Sep 12, 2022 || Updated: Nov 11, 2022

this is... a content index? idk it’s like random compilations and dynamics and thoughts, so not like my other content indices 

I love that they and their fan service remind me of kpop shipping which is like “we’re besties :) i love you a lot best friend” because I’m not really into “ooh are we dating? maybe” fanservice/dynamics, so I hope it doesn’t change.

First crying or getting emotional during sentimental moments

First crying when they pranked(?) him about Toe Laew breaking up

First Birthday IG Live last year where Khaotung wishes him well: "It will be emotional. No. stop." Didn't cry but was basically like stop before I do

First and Khaotung Workshop where they develop emotional intimacy. Khaotung's doing fine but First starts crying. This was the first time I'd seen him cry and was slightly taken aback wondering why he was crying when everybody else was chill but after following him for like 1 month, I was like ah

First and Khaotung event that was live online where Khaotung was wishing First birthday wishes this year and First was like "Tears are coming. Enough."

First expresses wanting "to build a house with the same fences as [Khaotung's]." This is the only time I've seen where Khao's crying too, wonder what the full video will be like.

First getting emotional when reading Tay’s comment to him in Safe House 4 + trying to not cry later when the group sings together

I think it's so endearing that First gets emotional/cries so easily and will sometimes put a stop to sentimental things before he ends up crying.

My longass thread of Khao taking care of or helping First because of his injured arm. It’s sooo important and pleasant to me when people just casually are helpful and attentive to someone’s needs T.T An NCT J/J fic made me realize it and wow I’ve not been the same since because Jeno quietly looks after Jaemin and just... so arrow to the heart fr (the spring i've been waiting by forlilcrickee). Anyway, Khao helping First with everything is adorable.

Safe House Season 4

They’re just cute and together all the time

First’s voice in his head saying Khao is cute and the older guys hosting an interview about it 

Not KhaoFirst but Tay and First are soooo cute and clingy and kissy together. With OffGun, I fell into OffGunTay and GunTay and seems like it’ll happen here too lol KhaoFirstTay and TayFirst. Anyway, here’s a reddit post about it on r/ThaiBL, search up tayfirst on the blog for more, I liked some tiktoks as well. This "tay thought first was asking for a kiss on his cheek when he was telling there's something on this face” TayFirst kiss is sooo good, especially because it’s practically what happened in 21 Days Theory recently like seriously straight out of a BL.

Also Tay/First/Khao are good and cute too. 

IG/Bilibili Lives

The Aug 26, 2022 IG live was a whole Time, spawned some iconic moments as shown in these tiktoks that got hella lotta views/likes and are high up in the firstkhaotung hashtag one two

[Fave] April 29, 2020 Bilibili live. Saw this clip where they’re extremely flirty for no freaking reason, they’re not even a cp, absolutely unhinged. this other clip of first calling khao handsome and them having a mini crisis

May 22, 2020 This Ohm and First IG Live before The Shipper ep 1 release where First is at Khao’s house. They got questioned and teased about it lol like hello it’s supposed to be Ohm/First because of The Shipper yet this KhaoFirst stray agenda T.T Khao didn’t even appear much in the live

Times When First Says Khao Plays Tricks On Him

I think people generally tend to think First would be the one playing pranks on Khao and my mans is on a mission to let everyone know that Khao is, in fact, a trickster and a prankster behind the camera.

Sep 1, 2022 Galaxy A53 live: “First’s happiness is teasing Khaotung, right?” “ Actually, he teases me. I don’t tease him. This is him in front of the camera that everyone sees. He’s not acting but this is a part of him when he’s working. When he's behind the camera, he likes teasing.”

Safe House 4 Day 5 clip: Khao pushes First, First tells the audience to look and see First isn’t the one teasing, Khao drags First out of frame

Before Becoming CP

The IG lives they did before then

July 7, 2020: first tweeted he wanted to see the stars and tagged khaotung

Twitter thread by  swwwwii: A thread of #firstkhaotung 2018-2021

To Watch

StarStruckxFirstKhaotung - It’s an English interview, so I can actually watch it instead of catching a few translated tweets here and there

Praew Magazine Interview of FirstKhaotung

KAZZTalK Interview

เมาท์เรื่องเกินคาธ จากกอง "คาธ" กับ เฟิร์ส ข้าวตัง หลุยส์ นีโอ 

Oct 12 ArmShare KhaoFirst

(ENG SUB) ชวน “เฟิร์ส-ข้าวตัง” มา REACT

Watched

Let’s Talk BL Interview - another English one and this time for a podcast I regularly listen to!

Episode 0 Eclipse

ชวน “เฟิร์ส-ข้าวตัง” มา REACT ซีนสุดพีคในซีรีส์ คาธ The Eclipse - Watching this after the LITA Cast reactions. Interesting to see First point out certain things like Neo flexing his muscles or Khao tilting his head a certain way to make a tear fall. First is soooo cute here, my babygirl

[livvyofthelake]

crazy to me that this person called the mortal instruments published harry potter fanfic and then in replies to a comment clarifies that they know it’s not actually published harry potter fanfiction. taking inspiration and elements from a fanfiction you wrote and dropping them into an original work you created is not “published fanfiction” babe you sound fucking ridiculous. you cannot discount the care and thought and work cassandra clare has put into the shadowhunter universe for almost 20 years as “just harry potter fanfiction” because you heard some idiot that doesn’t know how genre works say it five years ago. “steles are just wands it’s hp fanfic!” what are you talking about… steles are actually not wands and they serve a whole other purpose than wands. also wands we’re not invented by jkr for harry potter. you know that right. it’s important to me that you know that. i’m not trying to defend everything cassandra has ever done and say she didn’t take a lot from her harry potter fanfic and put it in her books, i know she did that, i know all about her problematic harry potter fanfictions. i’m saying it’s so fucking rude and disrespectful to try to write off all of the original work she’s done and the expansive universe she created as fanfiction. no it’s not, you will just make up reasons to discredit her because you think she’s hashtag problematic and deserves it. and baby i stand with my problematic wife. she only did some of that!!! you can’t say she’s a freak with an incest fetish when that’s only a subplot in ONE book series she wrote and the only character she was actually an incestuous weirdo was the bad guy. yeah it was WEIRD that clary and jace thought they were siblings for two books. WE THE AUDIENCE knew they weren’t. ok it wasn’t explicit that we were supposed to know they weren’t but anyone with sense would read the end of city of bones and go “well that’s not true lol” and even if you didn’t she only wrote that “twist” because it was 2006 and she was trying to be edgy and challenge people’s perceptions. she would never do that now be serious. i know she wrote weird ass fanfiction, she’s a weirdo and it’s fanfiction and she (and society) was stupider back then and she would not do any of that now. and trying to use a couple semi-related things about her life before she was a famous published author to try to make her original work look lesser, is insane. also half the things people point at when trying to “prove” tmi is harry potter fanfic are just like. public domain concepts and character archetypes. because harry potter fans aren’t actually fans of the fantasy genre and don’t understand that 70% of the “world” jkr created is just. public domain fantasy concepts and character archetypes. remember the time my sister (harry potter fan. not a fantasy genre fan) found out about griffins (mythical creature that has existed in the genre for like. centuries) and she thought the concept of a griffin was taken from harry potter’s hippogriff. i’m never letting her live that down btw i lost like. 40% of my respect for her that day. and the context in which she found out about griffins makes her look even worse. we don’t have to get into it. anyway. i just can’t stand it when people say stupid stuff about cassandra clare because they’re purposefully looking at her and her body of work with the most bad faith perspective imaginable. also if you’re a harry potter fan i don’t think you can really justify hating cassandra clare because she’s “problematic”. like ok…. look inside.

[the-cantina]

Masterlist | The Bad Batch | Clone Squads | Delta Squad

Ah yes, the famous pinned post

Hey hi, hello there, welcome to my corner of deranged thirsting in this site of hell <3 I am a Brazilian adult that answers to she/her pronouns, and if you must call me by something, you can use Mire!

I’m here to write about everyone’s favorite army of sweethearts, and hopefully connect with people who like them, too!

What do I write about?

❥ I write x reader fics and headcanons, mostly in the NSFW realm, and with f!reader in mind. And, as a dominant person, in most of my works the boys will be written in a range of submissive roles and/or traits (ex: Crosshair as a brat, Hardcase as a rope bunny, etc.). If this is not your thing, that’s alright! There are plenty of simply amazing writers who write them into dominant roles, but I am here to feed my people.

❥ The clones I write are physically based on Tem. Meaning, they are people of color, and will be described as so (hashtag unwhitewash all clones lives and thrives in this blog <3) ❥ Unless explicitly stated, I do my best to keep Reader’s appearance 100% neutral, but I’m only human, sometimes let it slip and lean on black-coding her. If that happens, feel free to message me and point it out, and I’ll fix the warnings at the beginning.

What I don’t write? (this is more of a guideline for requesting stuff, so read it if you plan on ever making one!)

Of the things you won’t find in my works, there aren’t that many (I’m pretty shameless and a freak, hah), but those are: ❥ Submissive reader: self-explanatory. I don’t have a single submissive bone in my body. Not only I wouldn’t even know from where to begin, I also wouldn’t be able to get into the mood and flow to write or enjoy it. - For this reason, Wolffe, Cody and Boba are the clones I do not write for. I personally can’t see them as anything but dominant partners, writing them as any other thing would be too OOC for me. ❥ Spit-kink: Yeah, a pretty innocuous line to draw in the sand, but we can’t really control our icks :v ❥ Pregnancy, mommy/daddy kink: Anything parenthood related or adjacent, really. - Except breeding kink. This one is encouraged. (It’m that dog + toy meme, you know: “Pls breed?? No pregnancy!! Only breed.”) ❥ Clonec*st: Don’t. Idc if it gets you going, do not bring this to my inbox. I will write poly!clones x reader just fine, but in my works the boys will never interact – romantically or beyond – with their siblings. (and if this is coming off as an aggressive statement, that’s because it is.) ❥ Potty play: No water, no mud. ❥ Non-Con: Not even consensual non-consent. ❥ Not exactly a do not write, but any ‘unorthodox’ kink, if written will be posted directly on my ao3, so if you request something like that (and you know what I’m talking about), that’s where I preach the devil’s gospel :v

Masterlist | The Bad Batch | Clone Squads | Delta Squad

[trippin-over-my-fandoms]

The Prince of Shadows - Chapter Four

(images of Karl and Chris belong to this talented artist!)

AO3 version and previous chapters can be read here. Previous tumblr chapters can be read by checking the fic title hashtag at the end of the post.

Rating- T

Words- 1,736

Some implied Heisenfield here :3

None of this makes sense.

The light flicks on making Karl squint, his eyes straining against the computer light in the darkness making it hard to see now. “What are you doing in here?” Says a voice behind him.

Karl spins around in the desk chair. Chris. He doesn’t even bothering to make an attempt to hide what he was doing as he faces the other man, knowing Chris could have been standing there for ages before announcing himself. “I could ask you the same thing,” Karl huffs.

“You know all this is supposed to be for desk crew,” Chris folds his large arms across his chest, eyebrow arched and pointing at the spread of papers on the desk and computer tabs Karl has up, “You don’t have anything better to do?”

“Neither do you apparently,” Karl rolls his eyes. Nothing better to do than harass him.

Karl’s been holed up in the main planning room for the Hound Wolf Squad, the office space courtesy of the BSAA with it being on their grounds and all the tech a gift from Blue Umbrella. It’s a nice set up, Karl has never really appreciated it, let alone spent much time in it aside from briefings, but it is nice. He can work his way around a machine yet computers are a challenge and even he was able to access the records from the previous, botched, mission.

“Alright stop it. I’m the leader of this team, I got a right to be here. You’re being obsessive.” Chris fully enters the room, leaning over Karl to close out the computer and stack up the loose papers.

Karl sighs in defeat, trying not to be too broken up over Chris ruining hours of work. “No, I just want to know what happened.”

“And I told you yesterday when we got back, they moved it before we could move in.” Chris pulls up a chair from the planning table in the center of the room to sit opposite Karl, resting his elbows on his knees.

Karl didn’t trust that story then and he still doesn’t trust it now. It seems too easy, too convenient of a story. If it hadn’t come from Chris himself then he’d suspect a cover up. Well… more than he already does. “Nah. Something else. It was there and we knew it. Someone messed up.”

Chris sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose as if Karl’s incessancy is causing him a headache, “You’re such a control freak,” he growls.

“I’m doing my job,” Karl argues, “Yours too considering this was your op. You’re getting lazy.”

“I am not!” Chris sits straight upright at the accusation, anger drawn into the lines of his face. If they weren’t close Karl might think Chris would punch him. He still might.

Except it doesn’t matter to Karl whether or not he upsets Chris. He’s not about to stand by and let things go to shit at the sake of Chris’ feelings. “You took the job right? BSAA handed it to us and you just took them at their word? We should have done our own recon and made sure all of this was legit.”

“There’s no ‘we’ here, Karl. This is my team, you’re just part of it,” Chris’ voice is stern, no ounce of fondness for his friend and all anger towards an insubordinate employee, “Now I appreciate your input when I ask but that’s off the clock, alright? Me asking what you think is just dinner conversation.”

Karl is taken aback by his statement. Discarded to the side, just like that. Clearly they are very close. Not. “Well then you shouldn’t have gotten me involved,” he huffs.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have.”

The room falls silent. The only sound being the low humming of the computers running and the heating unit pumping air in. And the squeak of Karl’s chair when he moves to turn away from Chris, back to start his work again. Karl doesn’t need his approval. He’s his own person, no matter how many times he has to remind himself of that.

“Look, Karl, I’m sorry,” Chris sighs, placing his hand on Karl’s shoulder and spinning him back around. Despite his irritation with him, Karl allows it, “I don’t mean it like that, I’ll just stop involving you in team stuff when we’re not in the field. Alright?”

Karl looks at the floor, at the wall behind Chris, anywhere except at him directly, “I know that’s not how you meant it. It doesn’t matter- I still appreciate you trying. But this isn’t about me being obsessive or not having a hobby-“

“Which we still need to find you-“ Chris chuckles. Karl doesn’t reciprocate despite being the one to have set up the playful jab.

“Something about this just rubs me the wrong way. I don’t know what it is but it’s irritating the hell out of me,” Karl reaches behind him, goes to pick up some of the papers he’s printed out to show Chris. But Chris stops him, grabs his arms and holds them between the two of them.

“You trust me?” He asks, looking Karl in the eye now.

“Of course.” Karl nods,

“Then let me handle it-“ Chris slowly says every word like he’s making sure Karl hears each one and understands them.

“Chris-“

“No. Don’t. Let me handle it. I’ll let you know as soon as I hear anything. I promise. You’ll be the first I tell.” There’s so much sincerity in his eyes.

Karl can’t help but believe him.

“…Fine.”

“Thank you,” Chris smiles, “Now come on before you get in trouble.”

Karl rolls his eyes, scoffing as he and Chris both stand, not even bothering to return their chairs neatly, “What are they gonna do? Ground me? Lock me in my apartment?”

“You never know,” Chris shrugs, following behind Karl to make sure he leaves.

Karl looks back to him, questioning, “You really think they would? After all this time?”

Chris laughs, turning out the light as they exit into the central promenade of the BSAA compound, “You so much as sneeze and bend the Eiffel tower then you’re gonna find yourself in a windowless lab.” Coming from anyone else it would have been offensive, but Karl has always given Chris a pass.

Still, he only rolls his eyes at the dig, “Okay well for the record it takes more than just a sneeze for that. I’m not a child, I’ve got a handle on it.”

“Oh so it was possible once?” Chris elbows him, sending Karl slightly off balance and it reminds Karl of teenagers in the movies he’d see on TV growing up. Sometimes he wishes their lives were that simple.

“Alright enough,” Karl shoves him back but Chris doesn’t budge easily, “I wouldn’t do that you know it. I kinda like the fresh air, I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize this freedom.” Maybe Karl is more sensitive about it than he thought.

Chris sensing the tension ends his teasing, “I know. I wouldn’t let them do that to you anyway.”

“I know. I trust you.” He truly does. Chris is the first person Karl ever truly trusted. The first person to make themselves trustworthy to him.

“Good. So quit looking over your shoulder like you’re thinking of going back in there.” Caught. Karl had been sending glances back to the door they’d just left and he wasn’t as slick as he thought he was.

“Fine, fine. I’ll stop,” Karl grins.

Karl’s apartment isn’t far from the compound. It’s still within walking distance and it’s less of an apartment than it is BSAA regulated housing for employees. Still, it beats a single room in an underground lab by miles.

“Do you want me to stay?” Chris asks while waiting on Karl to unlock the door. Chris lives on the other side of the complex, at least part time when he isn’t in Europe or some other country being a hero, but he still takes the time to make sure Karl gets home. Karl still doesn’t know if it’s because he’s just being nice or if he thinks he’s protecting him. He doesn’t mind it either way.

“I thought we talked about this already, Chris,” Karl sighs, knowing what he’s truly asking.

“I know but,” Chris seems reluctant.

Karl takes a deep breath, leaving his keys in the door and turning to face the taller man, “I’ve spent a lot of my time alone. A quiet apartment for a night isn’t going to kill me. What do you think I do when you can’t get away with staying? Besides, I thought we had an agreement.” He tries to sound as convincing as possible.

Now it’s Chris’ turn to look anywhere except Karl. He seems every bit the robotic soldier when he says, “You don’t want anything else-“

“I don’t know how to have anything else. And I don’t want you thinking you have to give that to me because you feel sorry for me.” Karl turns back around to get his door open, it’s too cold out to be having this conversation outdoors.

“And I already told you it’s not because I feel sorry for you,” Chris seems a bit too much like he’s pleading with Karl. And he’d believe that this was something Chris really wanted if he hadn’t convinced himself that it was in fact purely because he felt bad for Karl.

Karl would allow it if he felt even the slightest of an ounce human.

“Don’t care. You’ve got all the fiends in the world and instead you choose to babysit my ass,” Karl tries to spin it back around to jokes, standing in the doorway to prevent Chris from bullying his way in.

“I wouldn’t call it babysitting.”

“You’ve been babysitting me since they decided I was useful.”

They stare at each other in the dimness, the moonlight creating dark shadows over Chris’ face and the lone lit lamp inside Karl’s apartment illuminating him from behind. In this moment Karl wishes that powers beyond his own existed so he could wish them to be normal. In a different world they can exist without being a super soldier and a bioweapon on a leash.

“Just go home Chris,” Karl says quietly before all his regrets start to build up.

“Only if you promise you leave the mission alone.” Chris is serious, less sentimental. Good.

“Promise.”

“Thank you.”

[christie-poke]

6 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Feel Bad About Being Single

Who cares?

People will give you all of this terrible advice (all the time) about how you’ll find the “one” when you’re not really looking. I’m never looking and I still haven’t found the one. Or that you need to love yourself before someone loves you. Oh please, people loved me when I was 14 and had braces and pimples — and I definitely didn’t love myself then!

But the truth is, when you want something to happen — and this applies to everything in life — you actually need to try. So if you want a dating life, you need to do something about it. You need to motivate yourself to get off the couch, put on some pants and sit across from Mr. Wrong about 45 times before you find Mr. Right.

Also Read: Rich Women from Nairobi Want to Date you

And don’t do this unless you’re ready to do this. And you’ll know when you’re ready to this simply because the thought of online dating won’t make you nauseous and you will actually be excited to be set up with a friend of a friend of a friend.

Social media is a lie

People only post the really, really good or the really, really bad. Don’t let someone’s hashtags or smooching photos freak you out. They didn’t post about their terrible dates or their heartbreaks or the amount of times they fully swore they’d be alone forever before they found the one.

You’re not alone

You’re not the only person who feels perpetually single or the only person who feels like they are never, ever going to find anyone. I’m not saying we should all form some kind of support group where we meet once a week and cry in each others shoulders. I’m just saying we should accept that there is nothing wrong with us.

There’s no one right way to live

Back in the ’50s, women were married at 18 and their career was raising a family. Now, women build careers before they build a family. And there’s nothing wrong with either path. Your life, and how you live it, is your choice. So don’t compare your timeline of events to your (Facebook) friend’s.

Appreciate what you have

That’s the hardest part, isn’t it? Next time someone asks you “Why are you single?”, You can say: Well, I don’t know… but here’s why I have this awesome job. Or, “Here’s what my awesome friends and i have planned for Labor Day.” Or, “Here’s this awesome app that I just spent seven months building.” We are more than just our relationship status. Don’t forget that.

Be happy for other people

Try, really try hard. Jealously is a terrible feeling. Really, it is. And I’ll be the first to admit, when a friend calls me to let me know they just got engaged, my first thought is I lost another one. But then, right after that, I’m in tears because I really am so happy for them. I’ve been there with them from the start. I was there before they met their fiancé. I was there when they went on 27 bad dates. And all in all, I know — well, I just hope — that all of these friends who are engaged will be there for me one day, if I do meet the man of my dreams, to dance the electric slide and the cupid shuffle and the Harlem shake with me at my wedding some day.

[momonpa]

Social media is such an inextricable part of modern wrestling, shipping with a wrestler I always can’t help but imagine what the posts would be like, what people would say.

The reddit threads that start one day, “Hey how come Momo Kohgo always waves and blows a kiss at that one staff person? Who is that?” “It’s just fanservice it’s bc people think it’s cute” “oh that’s Dana, she used to be a fan translator before she got hired, Momo speaks english so I think they’re friends” “Yeah she said before she privated her account she was gonna be staying with Momo for a little while, maybe they’re still roommates.” all the way to one day “Uhhhh is it just me or was Komomo like, covered in hickies in that match the other day? It looked like she covered them up with makeup and then sweat it off or it got rubbed off during the match or something lol” “wouldn’t it just be from the match?” “I don’t think you’d bruise from the match that quickly, and also not like that. Besides it’s not like anyone was working her neck and chest, OP is right those were def hickies lmao good for her” “Did no one notice Dana at the staff table wearing a turtleneck? In August, in Japan? They were def hickies, ig the roommates thing is going well lmao” (500 downvotes) “oh my god you guys are freaks, obviously they’re from training or something, Hazuki had ones just like that like a week ago”

Or I like to imagine a whole thing getting started on Twitter, like a fan takes a picture of her squeezing my hand when she walks past, really early before anything’s even happened, and captions it “They look kind of like a couple don’t they lol”. Hazuki picks it up big time to tease us and starts using it constantly and taking candids of us. Sleeping on the bus sitting next to each other with her head leaned on my shoulder, standing in front of a vending machine picking drinks with my hand on the small of her back, out at dinner trying each other’s food with those too genuine smiles you see on people who like each other. And then one day the tone changes and the hashtag becomes comical when the pictures start to be walking down the street holding hands, leaning against the wall talking outside the locker room, her with her gear half on before a show and my hand around her waist, a picture from a hotel hallway where I haven’t managed to get the door all the way open but she’s grabbed me by my shirt collar, already pulling me in for what’s obviously a kiss. One day she posts the two of us asleep in our hotel bed, not crude or anything but this is clearly very normal for us, with the caption “Guess who got picked to go wake up the sleepy heads. #They look kind of like a couple don’t they lol”

One day someone posts two shots next to each other. The first one, one of the early posts, the one from the bus, sitting next to each other asleep, hands just touching, her head on my shoulder. The other one’s much more recent, obviously from a long trip, on the bus again. I’m laying out sideways across both seats, a pillow propped up behind me, Momo cuddled up on top of me, my arms around her. We’re both wearing those dorky travel neck pillows. The caption reads “what happened between these two pictures? #They look kind of like a couple don’t they lol”

Normally Momo ignores it. Hazuki started it as just playful teasing, and then once things started to progress, asked if we were okay with her doing it, and it seemed pretty funny given how things had gone. But this time she QRTs that one.

“I confessed lmao #kind of a couple lol”

[drella]

thinking abt homosexuality sobbing into my tomato soup rn #andy warhol

[elytrafemme]

@evilpuzzlingpapercrown and also @eternallyworm because i haven’t been checking evilpuzzlingpapercrown recently and missed the latest response by several hours even though i was kinda online at the time

~ now here is the message that took me 2 hours to write (i got distracted)~

shimmying into your inbox hello hello an irl almost found out i was a system today by following one of my alter blogs. ✨yippie✨

tbh!!! idk if he actually realized because 1. he didn’t like the pinned post but 2. he sent an ask saying “omg it’s you” (possibly a reference to the inclusion of “my main is puzzlingpapercrown” in the top of the pinned) 3. he still might have not read the read more 4. i sent them the men and black gif and they were confused 5. i immediately blocked him from that blog and privated the pinned 6. we have had 3 conversations since then and she never mentioned it

conclusion? i have no freaking idea what i’m doing ever 💅

claps my hands together i am here. today. to talk. aka to answer the question you handed me in the last ask response but i have lots to say… so it’s another ask BABY. okay i’ll admit my typing style is kinda fucked right now but we’re managing 

i feel like making some like short responses to some things in the response to the ask before covering the question so here we go (imagine me doing that silly drumming on the desk that like hyper salesmen do. or something)

freaking hyped that i have the dahlia hawthorn seal of approval. like for real we are quite thrilled. we are quite hesitant with interacting with anyone so i am thankful for this. there will likely be an ask one day in dahlias inbox(most likely from Jupiter tbh) 

shaking hands on the switching thing. i think the worst time a difficult switch was like *trying* to happen was one of my drivers ed driving sessions. like in the middle of driving and my eyes are unfocusing and my brain is literal soup and that was a freaking moment for real. didn’t stop till i like got home and crashed. it also prompted me to think “hypothetically if i was a system perhaps and maybe that was a switch or SOMETHING”

okay and also that’s so interesting that there’s those tiny shifts in appearance for ya. i don’t know but it’s just interesting to hear an individual experience on stuff (for me it’s like a change in perception of my appearance. like i look different and feel different about how i look depending on who’s fronting. even if i look the exact same there’s something off in the brain and it’s so funky)

OKAY AND QUESTION YOU ASKED ME tehehe 

“ do you also like... ever feel the process of a memory actively getting repressed?”

okay tbh yes. and it’s like uh. there’s multiple ways this sorta happens.

for starters i can very much tell when a period of time is going into the hashtag memory vault because i will have the worst memory of the events while they’re happening. most recently i can recall, i forgot in full basically everything about after 24 hours of it happening. everything i remember is what my sister said about it afterward. yippie!

however even smaller events i can sorta figure out that they’re going to be hashtag in the vault in the moment. it’s like our perspective feels small and maybe even blurry all around. and then even directly trying to recall events from within that moment are very choppy.

idk how to describe it but it’s there.

and! with some important information we’ve developed a system of like for fully logging information. so like an important memory we will sorta lock an image and singular thought into the brain regarding the event as a way to make sure everyone has a memory of the moment. this was a tactic we came up with long before realizing we were a system which is funny. 

so a good amount of my memories from like a while ago are singular faded images with like a sentence of thought. 

okay i realize this is even longer than before but i’m having the time of my life with talking about this hahdjfj okay yea 

i also did stop for like an hour to look on instagram and fell down a rabbit hole of small buisness making makeup brands. yea

ANYWAY PEACE AND LOVE ✨💕✨💕✨💕✨ YEAAAAAA (but for real thank you for listening and talking i’ll try and respond in the comments this time)

HIYA!!! Hoping answering this activates something in me TM because I'm getting such nice asks on both my alter's sideblogs but i want them to front to answer them :((( hopefully they decide 2 say smth but for now just me Mare again!

absolutely fascinating and yet horrifying experience oh my God. see I'm playing with fire b/c the first person I would ever tell about systemhood is my best friend who is also the only person i know IRL that has access to this blog. so it's like I wouldn't hate it if xe sees this but also it's pretty dicey that it's written all over this blog and xe definitely could see it. but. shrugs.

still. goddamn that is either lucky or like. unfortunate. either way uhhhh hope things r alright with that

yep! Dahlia's approval is hard to acheive and I can say that because she hated me at first but now she's basically my older sister so we chill we chill. yeah idk she's a cynic so she likes The Good Intentioned TM and appreciates that u guys are like. so caring and kind to me all the time. and also finds you all funny. so like. thumbs up emoji

OUGH THAT'S AWFUL!!! HATE THAT HATE THAT. Long switches fucking SUCK don't know how long u all have those, typically ours don't last too long but the first time Nightshade fronted. hoo boy. that was a rough 30 minutes . still Drivers ed.... fucking SUCKS goddamn.

totally get that w perception, i think sometimes it's like that for us but usually even if our face looks the same there's something about the way we hold ourselves that's distinctly different. like how we set our jaw or the way our eyes slant or something. yeah!

THAT'S SO INTERESTING WAIT. the fact that you guys have a memory storing system for important memories is SO so fascinating and like. i'm so glad u have that bc that seems to be so helpful!!! from how u describe it at least idk i hope it's helpful! and the blurriness is interesting and also hashtag relatable; for us it's less blurriness and more exhaustion but at some point exhaustion becomes blurriness. at any given point in time if someone in the headspace wants me to not think about something they put my brain in sleepy mode and i can't think. assigned naptime at hosting

if any businesses stand out or seem super cool feel free to share with the class bestie

yeah :D u can talk to me whenever i mean that. im sorry im so bad at answering ur asks i always wanna give them my full attention unfortunately i have the worst attention span in the world. promise i love talking to u all though :D