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#don't worry he's still gay
iinfinitejester · 8 months
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lol finally cleaned up a sketch i did for pride month years ago
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dykeinthedark · 28 days
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venting in tags about gender n shit (long as hell) (u can comment and talk 2 me as always :3)
#okay so i got a really masc haircut about a month ago and i know it's just a haircut but holy shit has it changed EVERYTHING for me#like.... i've always leaned masc except 1) before i came out 2) when i was actively in love with someone who i knew liked femmes#and they always described me as a fem. because that's what i showed her. because i wanted to be with her.#but lowkey whenever i'm in a not-impressing-anyone raw-dogging-life-no-crush era i always resort to a very masc style#like masc being my default and i'd only lean fem to impress people whether it's for love or peer pressure in a specific setting#like ''dressing up'' has always been a form of drag to me. like something i HAD to do to fit in or impress my parents (scott favor core)#but ever since this haircut i've realized... i could just BE masc innately like i really don't have to be womanly if i don't want to#which i usually don't. again i have only ever dressed fem for other people. but it's not even being masc that attracts me on its own#it's like. being masc in a distinctly lesbian way. as in whenever i look in the mirror i don't wanna be like a Guy i wanna be a dyke.#like lesbian as a gender identity too sort of thing honestly. okay i've been waffling but basically i sort of want to call myself butch#but i don't know if i like... can?? if i'm allowed to???#everyone always says it's MORE than just wearing boy clothes and not wearing makeup and having short hair (which i already do all those)#i mean i've always id'd as genderqueer because it literally just means gender weird and i experience gender in a queer way#what's probably the most telling is that my friends (all queer) CALL me a butch lesbian#like every time they do i feel really internally validated. it's not just my clothes but my personality too ig is what people tell me#i have a higher pitched voice relatively speaking but apparently the way i talk is quote ''very clockably into women''#which?? gender euphoria asf. my best friend specifically he (gay trans guy) always uses butch to describe me very intuitively#people have also noticed that i ''transitioned'' in all aspects except hormonally. like ppl have commented and noticed my masculinzation#but at the same time i always feel rly haunted by my ex relationships because one wanted me to be more masc#(she's the one who came out as straight and would treat me like a man) which i didn't like and i didn't like playing up being fem either#bc now it feels like she (butch) won't believe me if i called myself butch too bc she remembers me being femme#idk i feel like there's her voice in my head all the time that sees everything i do through her eyes (i'm lowkey still in love)#i feel like even though this comes so naturally to me i must be putting on a performance#even though i've actually read stone butch blues and done research into the history and i truly love and id with the culture like i rly do#that im still just a sad imitation of a butch lesbian and can never really be a part of it because i used to enjoy dressing up sometimes#like it's so stupid but can i still be butch if i wore a dress to prom and i think i looked good in it??#even though i was envious of my friends who wore suits?? that i used to try goth makeup?? that i liked long dresses??#that i enjoyed stacked necklaces and rings on every finger???#and tbh ALL OF THAT CAME FROM A CONCIOUS EFFORT TO FEMINIZE MYSELF IN JUNIOR YEAR OF HIGHSCHOOL WHEN I WAS 16#because omfg it was 2 months before junior prom and i was worried that i was too masc and wanted to get comfortable with being fem
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skrunksthatwunk · 2 months
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kiryu you were not about to write that on your bucket list you lying faker you gay ass homosexual man
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denkies · 1 year
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THE NEW BUDDY DADDIES EPISODE WGA3GWGUAHEJAHAJFA
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agendratum · 8 months
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i keep being like "can't believe these people are friends they don't even like each other" but like i have to admit it makes all the sense
1. rich kids of politicians/influential people, "the golden youth", from what i know usually sticks together basically because they're growing up in the same circle anyway, they know all the same people, go to all the same places, all know each other etc
2. queer people tend to flock as well (at least it seems to be a widely agreed upon fact? i mean from personal experience, my queer friends group aside, in uni we were friends with the only other queer guy there even before i started to like him, at work i also found most of the queer people and stuck with them, even tho, again, some of them were not that likeable to me, but that's just personal experience) it's like, if you're queer, sticking with queer people you don't like that much is still better than sticking with cishet people you don't like that much, if this is making sense
3. they're in the same university, they have the same classes
combining the first two factors with the third one, they just have to stick together, because they don't necessarily have anyone else to stick to and they need somebody, at least until they graduate. it doesn't matter that your friends are shitty assholes who aren't even really your friends, cause at least you have somebody by your side and you know exactly who that is
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poems-of-a-lover · 11 months
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the fact that i don't have a boyfriend to share my every thought with and spam constantly is actually horrible
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allegorism · 3 months
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while i think it's fair to worry about how much they're going to change certain stuff, i also think there's Way too much doomposting surrounding bg3's changes in characterisation
#'they changed lae'zel' its literally a greeting.#which changes w different levels of affinity#and according to what i've read it was always in the game files but wasn't working?#she's pretty much still the same in the main plot and in her romance#and the whole thing w gale being more lenient about the magic items is literally bc he would leave if you closed the inventory#without giving him anything#like literally the only real change in characterisation that i've seen has been astarion and his opinion on the mizora thing#that and the gortash gay letters that were changed#other than that the changes have only added scenes (mostly related to epilogue stuff which may have felt lacking at first) and fixed bugs#i will also say that wyll's part in all of this has been Very lacking because he truly needs more content in comparison to astarion#but if they're willing to listen to fans? maybe they Will add stuff?#and about the added lines to the gortash scene.... adding more dialogue options is Not changing the characterisation of a character#it's literally giving you more options. if you don't like them you can literally NOT press the button#OH. i've just remembered. halsin's new thing. not going romantic on you if you didn't flirt with him#that's also another characterisation change i noticed. but that's a coherent one#if you didn't flirt with halsin why would he. yk.#anyways. i'm seeing too much doomposting. worrying about this is normal but people are being so pessimistic#mona.txt
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billygoat26 · 19 days
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Guys- moots who know me well enough kind of-
I'm not simping solely for fictional characters anymore-
...
I hate this, it's weird, I wanna say something to them or at least one of my other irl friends but I'm too scared that 1: they'll judge me and 2: they'll TELL HIM. Dear god I do not need that-
BUT IT WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE (aka it's been on my mind for a few hours too long)
Yesterday, pool party with friends, right?
I knew that he did some workout stuff but I still was NOT prepared- (me, who was fully expecting him to wear some form of his normal outfit but for the pool- noooooope! Shirtless- very unprepared)
And listen, I knew I at least sort of like-liked him before cuz you know, personality and all that stuff, but come onnnn- like- what do I do now??
And then they were playing chicken fights in the pool or whatever the game is called, and after that they were standing on each other's shoulders and pretending to walk on water (We all had just endured a bible unit in our English classes)
He had offered for ME to stand on HIS shoulders- and for that to happen, you know, they gotta swim under, right? Well, we both have the dirtiest of minds (I also just have shitty balance so I was not about to try that anyways. That was the main reason on my mind but I thought of the other stuff after).
I don't even know if I have blushed since elementary school, but if I did then, then thank god for the sun because sunburnsssss
And then he couldn't find his shirt after we had all gotten out, and one of my other friends said that he didn't need the shirt (jokingly) and dear god I wanted to agree (verbally) but I'm too worried about my whole bullshit being too obvious if I did, so I just had to stay quiet. (He ended up not finding it and just having to leave cuz his parents were there)
But that- that day- just... that. It's not. Leaving. My. Mind. Alone.
#billygoat talks#Look ma- I'm not simping for only fictional characters!#I'm not adding him to the simp list tho- 1: not putting his name anyways and 2: that list is for fictional characters only#Wait- what day is it now?#Fuck- it's only Sunday...#Should I say something? Cuz I only know him because of the IB program but I'm not gonna be in it next school year#And I think the only time we would see each other is either during lunch and after school going to the buses or just buses#But I'm worried that- if I do say something and he doesn't feel the same- our friendship will be fucked up and awkward- I don't want that..#Besides- I've never had good luck with these things#And at the start of the year I had come out to my friends as gay- mid-school-year one of my friends and I agreed I was pan#<- that was only one friend... and the one who made the joke I told y'all about#But he still thinks I am gay- we joke about it a lot- so how would I even start?#I've never been in a relationship- can't say I've never been kissed before only cuz of a weird thing in elementary school-#Believe it or not- even if I can give others advice- I don't know what to do for myself...#I guess I'm scared of rejection but I should be used to it by now-#Oh yeah! The other thing- we've only known each other for a whole one school year- his friends have known him for much longer-#I feel like it's wrong to even think like that after only one school year and say something about it- like it's too soon#Believe me- I do wanna say something but I'm just scared that our friendship will be ruined or he'll ask questions I don't have have answer#to- more than likely one of those would be about my sexuality#I feel like I have to stick to that- like a limitation- but I don't want to-#I have so many wants but I feel like I'm not exactly good enough for anybody and those wants will just be wishful thinking forever#Fuck- just bombarded y'all with my shower thoughts... sorry-#Ummmmmm-#Yeah-
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magentagalaxies · 22 days
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#this might be both oversharing and being too vague rn but it's 2am and i'm emotionally exhausted#i can't believe during one of the most traumatic moments i've had in the past year i was lucky enough to have scott as my biggest supporter#the entire time as i was going through it he was so supportive giving me space to process shit and always having my back#and yet there are some people in my life who are always going to villainize him for one comment he said during that time out of context#or even if they're not ''villainizing'' him i now feel like i have to begin every sentence about scott with#''yeah we don't agree on everything but we're still friends and isn't that amazing!''#which yeah that is true and i do genuinely enjoy when scott and i disagree and are respectful about it#BUT WHY DOES THAT HAVE TO BE THE FIRST THING I SAY ABOUT HIM????#and honestly that whole experience made me agree with scott on way more than i started out with#i'm proud of how i was able to grow as a person and for the fact that it brought me and scott much closer together#but that shit i went through at my college was still traumatic. and it did change me as a person#it completely changed my relationship to activism in a way i'm not happy about bc i want to be more of an activist#but when i had someone use social justice language to justify horrible things against me it's hard not to be wary#of how hollow and performative a lot of conversations can be#and like i'll even say it. like people might get mad at me for admitting it#but that whole traumatic situation has irrevocably changed my relationship to gender as well#or at least how i label myself and how i move through these conversations#and in some ways i'm grateful for it bc i do feel like i know myself more and like i don't have to worry about what others' think#or even what other people understand#but it shouldn't have had to go down like that. and as much as the time i got to spend with scott during that time was so much fun#and such a great experience and he was truly the perfect support system during that time#he shouldn't have had to deal with that and neither should i#and the fact that scott somehow got villainized in some people's minds while the person who actually caused that trauma#is instead treated like ''yeah he was a bit misguided and made a mistake but he was probably anxious about it!! he's just a person!!''#that's never going to stop being painful. especially the idea that with the importance people put on labels#i would supposedly have more ''community solidarity'' with that asshole than a cis gay man like scott#idk i think i'm past the timeframe of that traumatic experience bc it's not consuming every day like it used to a few weeks back#but something triggered it tonight so i just need to process it. anyway shoutout to scott for being there for me i really needed it
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sleepymrshmllow · 9 months
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idk why we can't just accept that people will interpret media/characters differently and that it isn't inherently an attack on you personally (obviously if people are directly fighting you/harassing you/trying to invalidate you or are generally being bigoted that is different and you should be able to defend your thoughts/block people!)
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mimiri22-6 · 1 year
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i am not imune to swordfish propaganda
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marcsnuffy · 5 months
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Not sure if I'm losing my mind or if these outfits are actually nice
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ghostonvhs · 9 months
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"I'm going to draw a normal, regular drawing of Beowulf. no funny business."
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(immediately beelines to detail exactly one area before I even have his hands drawn)
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vriskasicons · 2 years
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I hope ever8ody is enjoying the Karkat holiday!
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welcometogrouchland · 10 months
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I'm not even that invested in Tim Drake as a character (he's neat! Just doesn't give me brainrot + I haven't read his og solo series, tho I skimmed parts of his current one) I just think it's so funny that he's canonically bi. Oracle caught him looking up "boys kissing" on the batcomputer
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astrxealis · 1 year
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got another person into granblue fantasy, an old friend B)
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