#dont ask me what this is I have no idea

[no-light-left-on]

1k words of pure, self indulgent corvosider fluff post-doto, early into their relationship

The mattress dips as Corvo crawls on the bed behind the Outsider – he does little as Corvo wraps an arm around his waist and presses a kiss to his hair, far too preoccupied with the text of the novel. He turns the page, smiling as Corvo presses closer, his broad chest against the Outsider’s back, and kisses down the back of his neck until he can bury his face into his shoulder. He pulls the Outsider closer until there is no space left, his hand large enough to cover his stomach, and he rubs little circles into his side. His hand does not stay long, though, restless as fingers catch on pearl buttons and the Outsider pauses.

Corvo’s hand dips under the silk fabric, trailing lower and lower until he reaches the belt.

“Corvo,” the Outsider says, somewhere between a plea and a warning as his hand shoots to Corvo’s. The hold around him eases and the Outsider curses himself as Corvo’s warmth gets further.

“I’m sorry.” Corvo rolls away, his weight no longer on top of the Outsider’s, though the Outsider is quick to follow as he rolls on his back to face him.

The Outsider kisses his shoulder, a chaste little peace offering. “No, no- it’s okay. No need to apologise.”

Still, Corvo remains tense, propped up on his elbow. There is too much distance between them now.

The Outsider reaches out, pressing his thumb between Corvo’s brows to smooth his wrinkles out. They sit heavy over his forehead, and while most would read them as the lord protector’s stern gaze, the Outsider knows them for what they are. Anxiety.

“You did nothing wrong,” he assures, but something else sits atop the worry. An old vulnerability of Corvo’s, and a new one, too.

“You’re always so skittish when we get physical,” Corvo states. He does not pose a question next, knows he doesn’t need to. The Outsider reads him like an open book.

Am I too old? Is it the age? Or is it me?

The Outsider cups his cheek, his beard prickling his palm, and as he brushes his thumb over an old scar on Corvo’s cheek, Corvo’s breath catches.

Are you repulsed by what you might find under?

The Outsider takes a deep breath, screws his eyes shut as he feels his stomach drop. His core feels like it is being swallowed by the Void as he speaks. “Corvo, I’m just not interested.”

He knows the words he chose were wrong the moment they leave his mouth.

“In me?” Corvo asks, tentative and cautious.

“In sex.”

Oh. Oh.

“Oh,” Corvo says with all the eloquence of a noble and the father of the empress. The tension dissipates out of his muscles.

“Yeah.”

“At all?”

“At all.”

Corvo laughs, startled and relieved, then buries his face back in the Outsider’s shoulder.

“That was a horrid way to phrase it,” he mutters into the silks as the Outsider combs his fingers through his hair.

“I’ve never been known to speak with other people’s emotions in mind,” the Outsider says as an apology. It is not one, but it will do.

“One day you’ll be the death of me,” Corvo whispers.

“I am honoured that you wish to keep me around for that long.”

They fall silent, with Corvo’s head resting on the Outsider’s chest, lulled by the beating of his painfully human heart.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

“What for?” the Outsider asks.

“For trying to get physical.” Corvo shifts, suddenly far too aware of the thinness of the Outsider’s shirt, of his own hand on his belly, their intertwined legs. “It didn’t even cross my mind that you-”

The Outsider catches his face, cupping both cheeks in his cold hands, their eyes meeting. “Corvo.” The sound of his name stops Corvo’s rambling, intent and captivating the same way it was during the bad old days at the shrines. “You didn’t know. I never told you. I didn’t even intend on telling you this soon. Most humans don’t feel this way, and you had no way of simply figuring it out, not with how close I let you. Please, do not feel bad.” He takes a deep breath. His stomach turns, empty yet heavy like he’s drank the cold water of the Wrenhaven. “This is- I do not know where to begin explaining this. But take it as… it is just another odd quirk of mine. I don’t know.”

“Mio,” Corvo coos. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“I feel like I have to,” the Outsider admits. “We both know that I am voidawful at this whole being human business. I only ever had the opportunity to watch, but there is so very little I remember of how to feel, and experience, and live, and all that I seem to do now is so very other to how humans have been for all those centuries I spent watching. And this is no different, I suppose. But this time it involves you, too.”

Corvo opens his mouth to argue, stops. “I don’t mind that you feel different about these things,” he settles on. “I’m just glad you told me.”

“I had to.” For you and for myself, both. The thought of it is too raw. The Outsider grins and instead says: “You always looked like a kicked pup when I smacked your hand away.”

Corvo gapes and the Outsider smiles wider.

“Or like a wolfhound that just got scolded for trying to eat without permission,” he teases.

“Mio-”

“Whenever I told you off you looked at me like a wolfhound begging for a piece of steak.”

“Mio!”

The Outsider bursts out laughing as blood rushes into Corvo’s cheeks. “Oh, feared Lord Protector, if only the nobles of Dunwall saw how easily you melt for me-” He yelps as Corvo buries his face into the crook of his neck, his beard prickling the tender skin, and the sensation makes him laugh harder. Corvo holds him down, pinning him into the pillows as the Outsider kicks out, struggling and giggling and pushing at Corvo’s shoulders as Corvo kisses the bare skin and nuzzles his collarbone.

This, he could get used to.

[basslinegrave]

pin-up

b&w originals

[arcanegifs]

Caitvi Scenes: 28/? ↳ Vi checks out Caitlyn her favorite cupcake 👀

[solarpunkani]

sometimes spite is a powerful motivator and today its motivating me to crochet

long story short I saw a cool bag on pinterest while I was looking for crochet patterns but there was no fucking pattern but one of my friends found a pattern for a similar but not quite bag so I watched an hour long video, transcribed it into text, and am now gonna make a wholeass backpack just because Sunflower Vibe

Wish me luck I guess

Also this is the bag

[deep-space-lines]

okay but like. I just had the weirdest thought about that ‘don’t look I’m naked’ comic. Which is that that’s essentially the same thing Adam and Eve did after they ate the fruit of knowledge of good&evil. So I feel like the theological implications of that could kneecap Gabe if he doesn’t think V1 is a being with free will.

yeah ok. i dunno man. is this anything

((side note. this isn’t necessarily meant to be in-character or story-accurate or take place at any particular point in time, just a way to explore some Thoughts. i was also imagining more that V1’s words aren't actually spoken, more like Gabriel’s more articulate interpretation of whatever garbled mechanical noise V1 is using to communicate. I think an angel could do that.))

and then they fucked nasty the end

[weatheredcopper]

woooo gem and the scotts !!! 🌸🌸

[heliianth]

i still think abt this little freak quite often. kitty cat blows up the moon

[wasyago]

something incredibly self indulgent

[biblically-accurate-dca]

various redraws of tsams thumbnails

[hajihiko]

Happy pride month to the ??? of us 🖤

[psalmsofpsychosis]

[dizzybizz]

some doodles

[dr-wormman]

They're so cute it's sickening

[deepfrost-citadel]

"You know," Xisuma said, peering cautiously over Cub's shoulder at the museum's latest addition, "When you said you wanted to show me a new exhibit, I wasn't expecting…" He trailed off.

Evil Xisuma glowered at him from inside their enclosure.

"…This."

To say Evil X looked a little miffed about the situation would be an understatement. At least Cub had done a nice job decorating, Xisuma thought, between the blackstone and crimson wood, Evil X looked right at home - if they weren't sitting grumpily in their 2-by-1 lava pool, surrounded by the mangled remains of whatever Cub had put in there for enrichment.

"Surprise!" Cub grinned, doing jazz hands at the enclosure, "I know what you might be thinking-"

Xisuma doubted that somehow.

"- 'Cub, Evil Xisuma hasn't done anything this season! They aren't a historic artefact! They shouldn't be in a museum!' But!" Cub wagged a finger triumphantly, "They are important to the history of Hermitcraft as a whole. So really, if you think about it, they definitely belong in a museum."

"… Okay?"

"Glad we're on the same page."

Xisuma wasn't sure if anyone was ever on the same page as Cub. Except maybe Scar.

"Now! As you can see, I've been decorating their enclosure, trying to add some interactive elements for guests and such." Cub pointed towards a line of redstone lamps at the top of Evil Xisuma's enclosure, "These show you how much electricity they're generating when they do their lightning hands thing. I'll be honest with you, it's broken a few times already so it's still a work in progress-"

"… Is that what all the lightning rods are for?" Xisuma frowned, eyeing the entirely lightning rod-ed ceiling.

"It is indeed!" Cub said, ignoring the twinge of concern in Xisuma's voice, "Well, a little. Mostly it's a safety thing, it wouldn't be good to have guests being electrocuted, now would it?"

"I suppose not… And it definitely works?"

"Oh yeah, it's been very thoroughly tested. Hey, Evil Xisuma," Cub walked up to the glass and tapped on it a few times, much to Xisuma's silent horror, "Wanna show X how the lightning rods work?"

In response, Evil Xisuma stuck their middle finger up at him and yelled something muffled to almost inaudibility that sounded a little like: "When I get out of here, I'm going to rip your head off and use it as a coffee mug, you stupid e-boy twink."

The pair on the other side of the glass blinked.

"… That's a no then." Cub turned back to Xisuma, "They do this a lot."

"They certainly do," Xisuma nodded faintly.

"You can probably tell the glass is uh... Mostly noise-cancelling, had to install that because Helsknight is in the next enclosure over and he's still hibernating. You know how Wels gets when you wake him up early, don't wanna find out how that guy is."

"… Of course," Xisuma sighed, pinching the nose bridge of his helmet, "Do I want to know how you got hold of those two?"

Cub laughed in the slightly unhinged way that gave Xisuma visions of Cub spending several weeks toying with the evil hermits as he hunted them for sport, "Nah man, it's not an interesting story."

Somehow, Xisuma doubted that.

"Anyway," Cub said, changing the topic before Xisuma could ask if he knew there was still someone's blood on his left sleeve, "What I really called you for is that I need an Evil Xisuma expert, and you're the man to ask about all things Evil Xisuma."

"Except for Evil Xisuma."

"Except for Evil Xisuma, yes." Cub nodded sagely, "So. Obviously I wanna make sure everything is nice for our new residents, give them plenty of enrichment and all that, but it hasn't been working out so far."

"I can see that."

"Soo… Any suggestions? What kind of thing does Evil X like? Food? Blocks? I dunno, fake derpcoin or something?"

Xisuma hummed, tilting his head in thought as he gazed at Evil Xisuma, who had clambered out of the lava pool to press their hands against the glass and give Xisuma the saddest, most pathetic puppy dog eyes their LED screen could muster (which, admittedly, were very sad and pathetic) in a silent plea to not leave them here with that madman, they'll be good for realsies this time they promise-

"Well," Xisuma said, turning to Cub, "They like to knit, so maybe they'd like some wool… Oh! And if you can find any old Wormman merch, they'll love that too."

Evil Xisuma's head hit the glass with a despairing thunk.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

happy mother's day lmfao

bonus (the girls are fightiiing):

[medi-bee]

isat pokemon au, my liege?

my rambling in tags