#dont b afraid to get weird with it

[pup-pee]

y does it feel so SO wrong 2 share ur opinion???

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[epicdogymoment]

shout out to brown and levisons face theory

[ethereiling]

i miss nanowrimo but i have neither the time nor the energy to do it rn.... maybe one day

[tremendum]

i've got headaches and bad luck but they couldn't touch you

[not my gif. title from song Of All the Gin Joints in All the World] pairing: joel miller x fem!reader (afab, use of she/her, use of the word girl)    

rating: explicit. (18+. mdni.)      

word count: 4.6k  requested: Could you write something (literally anything really) like mean Joel x feisty Reader but based on the ancient Fall Out Boys song "Of All the Gin Joints in All the World" pretty please? 🥺🥹 I was just listening and I thought the lyrics were perfect for your writing ❤️But as always no pressure and no problem at all if you don't like the idea or anything else. Lots of love! P.S. smut is very welcome btw hihihi summary: “Joel's not one for feelings anymore, but you seem to pull them out of him like it's your goddamn job." warnings: established previous hookups, use of girl/babygirl, established age gap (unspecified but addressed openly), brief mention of oral m!receiving, brief mention of reader and joel’s canon-typical scars. choking, mean!Joel & brat tamer!Joel, brat!reader lol, dirty talk (its joel), degradation, use of the word slut, slight dumbification, spitting, rough sex, unprotected PiV, cum eating, nipple play, slapping (tits, ass). think that's it!

notes: okay finally another mean!Joel for the soul!!! this is super unedited also. tysm for the request, obv inspired by the song Of All The Gin Joints in All the World by FOB. :) this was fun and i hope yall love it! dont b afraid to request anything yall wanna read at all and as always pls comment or reblog :) love u xoxo  

[other Joel fics: mr. miller series fever landmines  ]

★  

Joel Miller isn't sure exactly when all this bullshit started. 

one day, he was introduced to you fleetingly in the cafeteria while you and Maria had an intense conversation - he’s not sure if you spoke for more than ten seconds; but months later and Joel happens to know exactly what your sweaty skin tastes like on the sharpness of his tongue and could probably list his favorite pairs of underwear you own. 

it's nothing, really. 

you patrol together often, and Joel guesses that out of all the insufferable people he's had to deal with, you're definitely not the worst. perhaps your handiness with a trigger - not nearly as inept as his own but definitely a close second - helps; or maybe it's the way your mouth feels wrapped around his cock. 

and he's not stupid; he knows exactly what Tommy was doing when he signed Joel with you for patrol - the same shit he'd been pulling since they were thirty years younger and Joel was fresh out of the relationship with Sarah's mom. but it's different now, because life is not the same - nothing is the same. 

Joel's not one for feelings anymore, but you seem to pull them out of him like it's your goddamn job. 

you are one talkative motherfucker; usually, that'd drive Joel up a wall, but after repeated and incessant exposure to Ellie for such an extended period, his patience has surprisingly grown.

and unlike others, you never acted nervous or scared by him. irritated, maybe, but it's not like he cares much if you get irritated by his attitude; you're worse than he can be.

at first, he thought you were just fucking him because you just didn't know who he really was yet. but months into whatever this shit is, and you're still - for whatever fucking reason - hanging around him, even after everything. he likes it, though, that you fight fire with fire.

and maybe that's why Tommy stuck you two together, because in some ways it was inevitable - maybe it was a good thing, Joel thinks. 

but this morning, as Joel's mind slams against his body, jolting him awake, his aching head makes him double-guess that.

it's weird how different it all is now - before you, Joel was tortured through nights plagued with sweats and memories. blood, pain, loss. he used to dream restlessly of life and all of its unforgiving horrors; but now, to his shock, he finds himself plagued with dreams of you. 

he gasps awake - he's not sure he'll ever stop that. 

but this time, you're next to him in the bed. his skin feels warm as the light filters through the blinds that stay constantly pulled down this time of year to retain the cool air and Joel lets out a shuttered sigh, his head aching.

it's only the second time you've stayed the night. he's never stayed at yours, god forbid - but a small part of him aches this morning when you slide out of his heavy, sleep-addled muscles. in the absence of your heat there is still bliss for a moment, until he's roused fully by your voice. 

"these sheets are dirty." the sound carries into his ears, melodic and fiery. he cracks one eye open, hand raising to rub over his face - a deep, tired sigh. 

"g'mornin' to you too." he snarks, sighing as he pulls himself on aching muscles to blink his eyes open; you stand over the bed, on the side that usually remains cold an empty while Joel thrashes in fits of restless sleep. there's not a single scrap of clothing on your body.  

he feels himself stir at the sight of you, naked, neck painted in a splattering of beautiful marks that'd been pulled forth in moments of ecstasy the night before.

you send him a half smirk, shrugging as you tug on a shirt - his, fuck, his stomach swirls at the sight of you wrapped in him. something primal crawls in his chest as you smile at him, legs almost glowing in their bareness as they knock against the side of the mattress. your fingers brush the fabric to the left of his head. 

"there's stains on the pillows." you shake your head, your face alluring in its tease. he feels himself roll his eyes as he grunts, "you're actin' like it ain't your makeup stainin' it?" 

he stares at the marks on the pillowcase; black, from that shit you sometimes put on your eyes which just makes them all the more beautiful, wide, and alluring. the makeup that's surely expired after all this time but still is something you like to do to, as you'd mentioned once, 'reclaim your humanity.' whatever.

Joel would never admit it to you, but he hadn't even really tried to wash out those stains; something about them gives him a warmth in his chest every morning that he wakes up in this cold bed. 

but when his eyes fall back to you in your silence, you smirk and it hits him: you're fucking teasing him.

he glares at you as your lips curl in a huff of a laugh, shaking your head. "if you keep complainin' about every damn thing, might as well just fuck you on the floor." he mutters, mostly to himself-  but also to see the way your thighs shift, eyes widening slightly as color washes your cheeks. you're squirming at his words, just like that - oh, he's got you pinned.

you'd like that, you dirty little thing.

but you regain your composure quicker than lightning, ready to snap back; yet another tally to add on the list of things he admires about you.

"you're such a gentleman, Miller." you snide, fanning yourself sardonically with one hand as you roll your eyes, searching for your underwear. 

he remembers the first time you'd said that to him -

"why so shy?" you'd purred. the memory of your voice curls around his ears as he huffs, watching you bend over and give him a complete view of your ass as you fetch your panties from the floor.  "c'mon, Joel, you don't need to be such a gentleman. 's nothing you haven't seen before." you'd stripped yourself of your shirt, your pert nipples pebbling in the cold breeze as he'd sat, cleaning his rifle. "the hell's the matter with you?" he'd grumbled; but it didn't stop either of you. you'd been pressed between him and the splitting backseat of the broken down crashed car within seconds, anyways. 

his eyes meet yours as you stand again. 

he snarks, "well you’re givin' me a headache, an' I've only been up for two minutes." he glares at you, swinging to pull his boxers over his hips, standing up to find his shirt. he pointedly ignores the glare you send him at his grumpiness. 

"you're the one acting dumb," you mutter, "acting like I'm the one who gives you headaches." you retort, a teasing glint in your eye; he knows that look. Joel knows you'd never get a headache from him - as much as he pisses you off, he knows you're too fiery, too lucky to get caught up in whatever miserable puddle he's drowning in. 

because Joel's bad luck curls around his fists wherever he goes; the talons reaching out, crawling through every hallway and seeping through every door. you, on the other hand, are like a goddamn firecracker. Joel hates the idea, but you're... somehow gifted in that way.

he's convinced his bad luck couldn't touch you if it tried. 

no matter the dumb shit you pull - forgetting a flashlight, not flipping off your safety that one moment when the clicker had stumbled out of the brush; all of that, and you escape unscathed, nothing but a giggle and a half-shrug from you before you move on to the next stupid thing. 

if you weren't such a goddamn brat, it'd be charming. 

his eyes snap to yours as your words fall from your lips; a burning in his chest at your tone. he watches your legs carry you into his bathroom, and he can't help it when his follow yours.

you haven't even flipped on the lights before he shuts the door behind him - you're already wearing that snarky fucking smile on your face, and he's straining already against his boxers.

he stares down at you, crowding you slowly into the wall. "what the fuck did you just say to me?" he hisses, mouth close to yours. as you turn your chin up towards his face, he can tell that you try your hardest to control your smirk, playing into the tense energy that's emanating from his chest. 

"I said you're acting dumb."

you repeat, tilting your head slightly as you drink in the darkness in his eyes. lord, you'd let that darkness swallow you in a fucking heartbeat. 

speaking of; your own heartbeat thunders in your chest, anticipating. you know what's coming, you can nearly taste it on your tongue. 

"oh, 's that right?" Joel asks, tilting his head to stare down at you. you swallow as you stare back into those deep irises, the small bit of golden light that shines through the small bathroom window illuminating in an ominously heavenly ray.

his hand settles on the crook of your shoulder and neck, sliding gently upwards as you nod your head defiantly, pushing as far as you can to see when he'll snap. his eyes glisten in temptation; daring you to act up more. 

raising your brows, you try to play like it's obvious, "waking up and complaining about your headaches, old man?" you tut gently, shaking your head innocently. "I don't think it's my fault that you fucked me twice, immediately passed out and now your head hurts when you've woken up the next morning. you know better than to push yourself in your old age, Joel. that's stupid." you add coyly, knowing it'll push him over the edge - he loves it when you act like a brat, no matter how much he denies it. 

his response is immediate and exactly what you'd hoped for. 

he's on you in a split second - hand sliding from your shoulder to grip your throat, pushing you back onto the wall of the bathroom. the towel bar digs into your middle-back slightly and you gasp in arousal at the force of his body on yours. you can feel his cock, hard and straining in his boxers, as it presses into your lower stomach. 

"y'wanna play like that, baby?" he growls, "why you fuckin' around with an old man like me, then?" he asks.

your face heats up, arousal flooding your core, your cunt slowly wetting itself at the purr of his voice - the meaner the words, the larger the flame. 

"hm?" he gently pushes, raising his brows as his hand squeezes gently on your throat, nudging you against the wall further; your gasp is slightly rasped under the pressure, your whole body screaming with desire. this is what you love - mean, angry, hungry Joel Miller. "'s it because nobody fucks you like I do, is that it?"

his knee slides between yours, wedging himself high up, rubbing suddenly against your aching pussy, the material of your cotton already soaked with a damp spot that rubs against his thick thigh. 

"Joel, fuck-" you groan, already willing to just do what you can to get him to touch you. his hand on your throat tightens at your word, thigh rutting up to slide against your needy clit, your hips bucking at the feeling. "-'s because nobody else is so easy." your fiery mouth betrays your body; the snarky comment snaps his eyes to yours, a dark breath leaving his lips. 

"that's ironic," he snaps, "comin' from someone who begged me to fuck them for hours." 

your face burns at the memory of the first time you and Joel'd hooked up; your desperate voice hoarse from pleading him to fuck you - out in the middle of the woods, a sleeping bag that, by the end, had rips on it from rocks and twigs and the force of his thrusts; the shyness gone from either of you as your touches made up for all the silence between you.

he hums lowly, watching you as you swallow at the memory, his thigh rutting up again and pulling a yelp of pleasure from your lips. "y'don't feel so high 'n mighty when I fuck you stupid, right baby?" he asks, voice dripping with condescendence as he nods gently, encouraging you to answer him. your core throbs at his words, your mouth going dry. 

his hand leaves your throat; you swallow a gulp of air, staring with wide eyes as he grasps your jaw roughly. "answer me." 

"n-no, I don't." you mutter, voice sounding small; the arousal that pulses through your veins begs your mouth to be smart, do what Joel says so he'll give in to what you want. 

he smirks, hands roughly grabbing the thick of your hips and flipping you around to press you against the counter, your hips bending as he shoves himself just behind you. your eyes meet yourself and his own hawkish gaze in the mirror in front of you; your heated breath fogs up the mirror in the faint morning light. 

his fingers thread through your hair, tugging you back again as he tilts your head back. his upside down face, smirking down at you, has your thighs clenching - "open." he orders, voice stern. 

your tongue sticks out and he wastes no time spitting roughly onto your tongue, moving your head back to stare into the mirror; his eyes meet yours as his spit slides over your tongue and his furrowed brows twitch with a slight smirk. "look at you, doin' what I tell you. now swallow it and say thank you." 

your core flutters at his words deliciously as you do as you're told; swallowing, you take a breath and mutter, "thank you," - though it's more breathless than you expected, Joel seems to approve. he hums, "there are those manners," he mutters into your ear, cock pressing against the swell of your ass. "almost seemed like you'd forgotten you had them." 

"didn't forget." you mutter, face heating up as your pussy aches, fluttering around nothing and desiring for his fingers, his cock - anything. 

one rough palm slides his shirt up your torso, exposing your bare tits to both of you through the mirror. with his face stooped down near your neck, a short inhale of your hair before his hand reaches it's destination - your throat. 

"then why're you actin' up?" he rasps, teeth grazing your shoulder. he squeezes his hand again and your eyes roll back in pleasure, arousal soon slicking your thighs as you think you may die from all the teasing. "you don't wanna cum?" 

your eyes widen, breath halting as you shake your head, "wh- no- no!" you hiss, "I do want to cum, please." 

his other hand raises, slapping your breast harsh and quick; your gasp of shock tapers off into a whine of pleasure, your nipples hard in arousal as his palm comes to soothe over the sting. 

"then why're you acting like this?" he asks again, shaking his head. another slap, this time to your other breast. his eyes follow the skin of your chest; the way you gasp, your whines at the slight stinging and the pleasure that follows. fingers pinch your nipples, teasing in circles before another sharp slap echoes through the room. "just a little brat, y'can't help yourself." he decides, biting on your neck lightly. 

you can feel him rut against you hard, grinding his hips as he lets out a short groan. you let out a low moan, whining slightly when he smacks your tits again, skin glowing with the impact. his eyes meet yours in the mirror. "quit the whinin'," he grunts, rutting his hard cock against your ass, "you'll be stuffed full of me soon enough." he grunts, "then we'll see who's dumb." 

your shaky moan sounds more like a groan, elbows falling to steady yourself as Joel releases your throat, tossing you forward to grab your hips instead. he pulls you back, grinding into you as his head tilts back in how own small groan of pleasure. "this ass." Joel grunts to himself as he palms the curve of your ass in both large hands, one falling to smack harsh onto the left. 

you're dripping down the inside of your thighs as he ruts against you twice more; thick fingers soon slide to thumb at the slick wet of your panties. his fingers tease the wet material that's glued to your pussy with need, tracing over your lips lightly over the fabric. "pretty pussy, just for me." he mutters; you nod, looking up at him through the mirror, "all for you, Joel." you affirm, voice shaking with anticipation. 

"you gonna be good when I fill you up, baby?" he lifts his brow, stern look as he palms himself. fuck, he's so sexy behind you like this, his thumb slowly dragging the material of your panties to the side and exposing your weeping cunt; you nod, "yes, I'll do anything-" 

you're cut off by a sharp gasp as the stretch of his cock's head cuts off your brain. he eases in gently at first which you're more than grateful for - no matter how many times Joel fucks you, his size is always something you have to adjust to; especially after your rounds last night left you barely able to walk straight. 

he lets out a breath, "there y'go, baby, take me." he says it surprisingly gently, easing in inch by inch as you breathe deeply, your soaked pussy easing his cock through your channels. his cock is heavy and aching as he slides into you, sheathing you fully within another few seconds - Joel's hands grip so hard on your ass, splaying you open for him, that you think his fingers will remain there for days. 

he's still only for a moment, letting you accommodate to his size before he's leaning forward to press his chest to your back, "gonna fuck you stupid, baby." 

"please, Joel," you groan, cunt fluttering, begging him to move. "do it." 

it's all that he needs before he's setting a pace that has you whining under him, your breath choking as you brace yourself agains the counter of the sink. 

it's bliss. his hips are sharp, the reach of his cock pressing against the spongy spot inside you, dragging against your pulsing walls. "fuck, so deep-" you hiss, eyes closing in pleasure as he presses himself against you, hips surely going to bruise against the thrusts that shove you into the countertop. 

one hand sneaks over your front, grasping at your tits as his cock reaches up into you deeply. he lets out a grunt, "fuckin'- christ, you're s-so tight," he grunts, "even after fuckin' you all night." 

you moan, the quick bout of his praise causing you to squeeze around him, trapping him in your aching desire. the both of you moan at the feeling and suddenly one hand presses on your spine until you're low to the counter. his hands grab your shoulders, fingers curling around the base of your throat as he changes his pace to hard and rough, the sound of your ass against his hips nearly hitting your ears over your cries of pleasure. 

the noises of your arousal swallowing his cock echo around the room in a familiar, comforting chorus as you both let out shuttering moans; his strong arms pull you back until you're once again pressed against his broad chest. his breath fans over your neck and you whine slightly when his thrusts press you up onto your tip-toes. his lips find your ear, "how's that feel?" your hole flutters from the deepness in his voice - he groans at the feeling. 

your response is a whine of ecstasy as you claw at his forearms, head tilting back until you can almost feel his erratic heartbeat. his chest rumbles with a light chuckle, "look, barely took ya any time to get fucked out on my cock," he praises, hand petting your wild hair, "knew you'd be good for me. always take what I give you, right?" 

you nod, desperate to reach the climax that's easily built within you from the stretch of him deep in you and his voice in your ear. your clit aches from being ignored and your hand snakes down to rub light circles on it; your hips jolt as you gasp raggedly, eyes fluttering shut in pleasure. 

"no." he growls, hand grabbing your jaw sternly as he pounds into you, "when I'm fuckin' you, you keep your eyes on me." he snaps, squeezing your cheeks. "'s that clear?"

you nod in the mirror, whines getting louder as his name falls nearly incoherently from your lips- you see his lips ghost over your neck, the smirk that spreads over his pink lips as you finally get out a strangled, "Joelpleaseplease- s'close-" 

he knows what you need; you and Joel are each other's best escape. he pistons into you hard, chasing your high as he feels it spasming close around him. "easy, huh?" he snarls, hips just as harsh as his words, eyes sharp on yours. "who's easy, baby - me, or the one beggin' like a slut to cum on my cock?" 

for someone so quiet and closed off, Joel Miller has never shied away from using his goddamn words when he's fucking you, that's for sure. his words, his accent - they push you towards the edge and it almost distracts you from his question. his eyebrows raise in the silence as you gasp for words, moans choked  as his fingers slide down from your jaw to squeeze your throat. 

"look at'cha, can't even speak for me," he groans, his hand suddenly snaking down to smack your away from your clit; two larger, calloused fingers replace your shaky ones and you wail at the stimulation, almost too much.

you blink up at him through the mirror, unable to speak, unable to think as you feel the crest of something incredibly blissful growing; you let out a whine of ecstasy. "I'm- I'm easy," you concede, finally able to spit your words out, your voice higher than normal in your pleasure. 

Joel nods, kissing your sweaty hairline, "'s goddamn right you are, babygirl," he hisses, "easy for me. this pretty little pussy is mine, isn't it?" 

you scream, "yours, Joel-" before he barely finishes the sentence.

with your words, he smiles against your neck - the feeling of it sends goosebumps over your whole torso. "you're a lucky girl," he growls in your ear, teeth brushing the shell before licking it gently, "you can cum." 

you barely realize you've hit your orgasm until you’re writhing - a white-hot, searing arousal streaking your vision as your eyes roll back. he fucks you steadily through your orgasm, your thighs closing slightly around his large palm, but his fingers don't stop their motions on your clit. 

you shake and stutter for gasps as he pounds into you, chasing his own high that's been spurred - by your own words or the clenching of your orgasm around him, you're unsure. 

"love how you feel-" he groans, voice weakening as he nears his own orgasm, hips sloppy as he pushes your face down, against the cool tile of the bathroom sink. "fuck, baby, made to take this cock." 

his sentences are choppy, his gasps and grunts of pleasure mixing with the slap of your ass against him as he thrusts, your legs tired as he fills you full and then suddenly pulls out. you gasp at the suddenness of his absence, turning to look at him as if betrayed - but he looks completely gone, eyes dark with need. "gonna cum on your tits, sweetheart." 

your stomach flips at the word - one he's never used before - and you relax into his harsh grip, moving down to the ground on your knees as he grunts, "take this shit off now." 

his shirt is on the ground in half a second, your breasts bare to him as he fists his cock, eyes on you and lidded with pleasure. your hands fall onto his strong thighs, looking up at him in awe as he fists his cock, slick with your sticky spend, tip flushed and veins stretching over the shaft. "please, cum on me, want it so bad, Joel," you whine - his hand caresses your jaw and slips over your lips, sticking his thumb into your mouth. you suck eagerly and he moans your name deep, head tilting back in ecstasy. 

"fuck," he grunts, slipping his thumb out of your mouth before you can even swirl your tongue around it, and then he's hitting his orgasm.

ropes of his cum land on your tits, a small bit gathering on your chin as he slows his hand, letting out a few sharp breaths. he's barely caught his breath before your fingers are gathering a swipe of his thick cum, bringing it to your mouth. his dark eyes follow you through his labored breaths as you slowly suck his spend off of your fingers, "fuckin'- pretty," he mumbles into his hand as he runs a palm over his face, shaking his head. 

you smile, cheeks heating up. the sun is rising and the room is fully golden, bouncing off the mirror and illuminating his tan skin, the scars on his body and yours. he's pretty, you realize. 

you tell him so, quietly - in the silence of the bathroom. his scowl softens and you swear you see a blush forming as he rolls his eyes down at you from where you perch on the linoleum. 

Joel always says you only tell him sweet things to get him to fuck you - but in the afterglow of your actions, you catch sight of your makeup-stained pillowcase back in Joel's bedroom and it makes you grin. you know he doesn't wash it for a reason, the same reason you keep coming back to him. 

and you also know that the way he smooths his thumb over your hairline, the way your own hands in turn soothe over his thighs - those actions, they make up for everything else that's unspoken.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:

taglist: @satansgoatt @elissaaa @queerponcho @bbyanarchist @lapricot @umavvitch @asreadbyaj @dinsbaby @cottoncandytomu @onmytallesttiptoess @switchbladedreamz @missannwinchester @abs-2020 @afandomidiot @cosm1c-babe @rogersbarnesxx @carleenphillips-blog @bonnibuckets @nightlovechild @jazzyspasms @girlboybug @cannolighost @pastelnap @userpedros @feministfanboi @frogers @grhowls @daddy-din @gothoppered @totallynotastanacc @robbatlover @casssiopeia @wannab-urs @redhotkitchen @joelapologist2001 @silkiers

message me if i forgot to tag u. i was pretty lazy with this one sorry. requests are open.

.·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:·..·:*¨༺ ༻¨*:

[rhaegnarokmidwinter]

weird bleach headcanons: fuck marry kill edition

Alarmingly some of you pornbots and perhaps actual humans (hollows too I dont judge) seem to enjoy this kind of fuckery so enjoy your juice I guess.

When you start spicing up your LoL matches by playing unhinged Bleach "Fuck Marry Kill" with your friend and what we've found is the following:

-Shuhei Hisagi wins an alarming amount of the time. We are just feral for Hisagi and not afraid to show it but honestly we already knew that anyway it just becomes apparent in FMK how thirsty we are for him

-Perspectives were forever changed here. Adding Yamamoto into the mix when he's the real catch is just cruel because I had no choice but to eliminate him. "It's not that I'm too good for him, it's that I'm not good ENOUGH for him." "Oh fuck I didnt think of that"

-Grimmjow is not housebroken in the least. Put up against Starrk and Aizen, was the fucking worst thing to rationalize. Aizen ended up the marry option. I'm still not sure how that happened.

-Gin gets the Kill option far too much it's so fucking unfair

-Kisuke beats out Aizen though (this is where we differ in taste though previously marrying Aizen was a shock)

-Bazz B gets the fuck option a lot. I feel like no one is surprised here.

-Kenpachi needs to be eliminated from FMK for the pure reason that he is forever relegated to either fuck or marry status BECAUSE YOU CANNOT KILL KENPACHI. ONLY KENPACHI CAN KILL KENPACHI. THATS HOW NEW KENPACHI HAPPEN. SO UNLESS YOU WANT TO ALSO BE NEW KENPACHI (which wont happen because as previously stated you cannot kill Kenpachi) MAKE YOUR PEACE WITH MARRYING OR FUCKING THIS MAN. PLEASE ALSO NOTE THAT IF YOU FUCK HIM SURVIVAL CHANCES ARE LOW. GODSPEED AND ENJOY YOUR DEATH BY SNUU SNUU.

-Renji was curiously not brought up this time. Nor was Byakuya. Do what you will with this information.

[mackmp3]

tell me about christopher ecclestons doctor vs david tennats doctor

or explain what the hell is goin on with the daleks

or you could tell me about (insert musician)’s influence on music

just some options for you to lore dump to :)

RAHHHHHHH OKAY THANK YOUUUU this will be um. super spoilery for doccy whomst.

okayyyy so christopher eccleston plays the ninth doctor who tragically only gets one season AND HE'S SO FABULOUS he's really funny and sarcastic and he says 'fantastic! :D' a lot and is also a massive dork and yayyyy i love him - the interesting thing with nine is that we dont see his regeneration. like we don't see him come into being but its implied that the incarnation before him was horribly injured in The Time War and then became nine, who wanders around alone for a bit racked with guilt and lonely and full of regret and all that fun stuff until he meets ROSE :DDD who pretty much says you're super weird & offputting but also the most interesting thing that's ever happened to me and he's like cool uhm. maybe i do need friends after all so then he takes her on a date to the destruction of her planet to show off that he wasnt kidding about the time machine bit. he also has a really cool leather jacket. and a northern english accent and a sliiiiightly butch lesbian buzzcut. anyways he's very fabulous and also kinda tragic but yeah!! i love him.

BUT THEN universe under massive threat from daleks etc the only way to save the world will be massively catastrophic etc etc so he sends rose home to save her. and she is understandably super upset by this so she ABSORBS THE HEART OF THE TARDIS (pro tip : usually people dont survive that) so she can get back to him, resurrect this other guy who kissed them both and rewrite time so that this will definitely always happen & also destroys a whole lot of daleks. this is called BAD WOLF (<- the capital letters are important. to me.) and its killing her so nine kisses her to pull it out of her (she doesnt remember this) so it kills him instead. then *magicical girl transformation* he explodes into golden light and becomes david tennant!!!!!

david tennant is the tenth doctor and I LOBVE HIM FORVER ADN EVER my specialest little scrunkly girlboy pathetic wet cat terrifying alien guy-shaped-being <33333. rose is understandably like wtf who're you (because the doctor Never does timelord 101 and tells them about regeneration and the two hearts thing) and he is sad about it. so he takes her home. then passes out in front of her mother and sort-of-boyfriend who're also like wtf. anyways he's fine and rose pretty immediately is like wow this guy is actually beautiful & way less grumpy now and they go n do a whole bunch of stuff and they very clearly love each other A Lot (like she loves him when he's nine too of course but it changes) and in my head it's teenage lesbian undefined relationship mutual obsession b/c those be the vibes. a Thing happens and she end up trapped in an alternate universe from which she can never return and the doctor manages to hologram himself in there for a minute to say goodbye and HE ALMOST SAYS I LOVE YOU TO HER but the connection runs out. a lot of other stuff happens and ten is actually pretty scary at points in a way that nine never gets to and A Lot happens to him. my beautiful babygirl she has Every Problem.

see cos the doctor is actually massively emotionally repressed and while nine was a lot closer time-wise to destroying his own planet, ten was coping a whole lot less. ten is often described as the most emotional and most human of the doctors and thats probably true but he's also the most afraid of that vulnerability - he just cant help showing it. he's full of love but he's also full of a desperate sadness and guilt. a lot of guilt. nine has this guilt and the love he just has found a way to not be so raw with it. he is far more measured with his emotions. i reallllllllyyyyyyyy wish we could have seen what would have been done with his character had we got more time with him but alas t'was not to be.

like a good example of that is when we meet nine he's been alone for some time and appears to be more or less okay with that, maybe not super happy but more or less adjusted and functioning. when ten is alone for a while he sort of loses it a bit until he find someone..... like after he and rose get separated, and i mean IMMEDIATLY AFTER, he meets donna who I LOVE :D but he's still so racked with grief that he kills a whole race of spider things and canonically would've destroyed himself along with them if she hadn't been there to tell him to stop. (like legitimately there's an episode, Turn Left, about what would've happened if the doctor died and it's uhm. its unnerving to say the least). ten can't deal with being alone but Also can't deal with loving someone. especially when he is so very aware that he has to lose them.

ten has three seasons & then a year of specials, and he has and then loses the most companions of the doctor and the way he deals with this is Fascinating. he is separated from rose, martha leaves of her own volition b/c she realises that she cant spend her whole life living For Him and that she deserves her own life too, and then he has to wipe donna's memory to save her (she gets it back like. fifteen years for her and ~1000 years for the doctor later but thats a whole thing). like nine does the whole 'no one can get close to me because i will always end up hurting when they die/leave and that will usually be my fault' thing BUT TEN. TEN feels the same way he just can't help himself from making friends and falling in love (grayaroace) with everyone he meets and still being emotionally destroyed when they die. nine's way of coping with the guilt of the time war is to push people away in the first place and ten's is Never Stop To Think Never Stop To Examine Feelings. so yeah. lots of fun.

ALSO the daleks!! theres a ton of lore to them as well, but in short they're genetically modified creatures who have been selectively bred by this guy davros (who has major darth vader vibes. down to the voice and the mechanically supported body) to only feel hate and want to destroy everyone who is not a dalek. they're these weird little things that kinda look like rubbery octopuses inside the metal thing (they're not robots they are actually alive) and they suck. also they're really hard to get rid of like. i swear at least five times the doctor says 'this is the last of the daleks' like bestie just you wait about half a season. the daleks and the timelords (the doctor's species) fought The Time War which really really sucked and they're mortal enemies. so yeah!

[sammisafetypin]

if i send Henryk for the character ask will you hurt me

WELL HM NOW. NOW I HAVE TO REALLY THINK

Sexuality Headcanon: You know what? I’ll be bold. I think Henryk is a bisexual icon. He just seems like the type of guy that messed around in college and doesn’t reaaaaally label himself, talks about hot girls all day but like the fellas aren’t too bad either if you know what I mean bow chicka wow wow.

Gender Headcanon: I DONT KNOW MAN. THATS HENRYK. I think he’s very simply cis and doesn’t really know what being transgender is besides like, seeing Bugs Bunny crossdressing. Has it explained to him and is quiet for a very long minute during which you’re afraid he’s going to say something wicked transphobic and then he just goes “OK I’m still a guy I decided :)” and goes back to his grill.

A ship I have with said character: Henryk is probably the only character that does not actively annoy me in some way to see shipped with Pav. Sorry to all the Pav guys. It’s not you. It’s Pav. Anyway, I think the idea of him dragging Henryk around for free food because he thinks he’s too good for the shitty barrel meat pies is really funny, and funnier still if Henryk is like “whoa……….. a LIEUTENANT …….. I need to respect him or he might shoot me…..O_O” when Pav has only actually shot that gun like three times total and once was because a possum scared the shit out of him. They’re in a sexy soldier porno plot and neither of them know it. They keep getting into comically compromising situations and Henryk gets flustered about being stuck in a tiny elevator shaft with a B-B-BOY >////< while Pav is like Henryk If You Don’t Get Us Out Of Here I’ll Kill Us Both.

Also once I saw a picture of Abella femdomming him with a pipe wrench and it kind of affected me deeply.

A BROTP I have with said character: I saw a headcanon once about him and Daan being drinking buddies and I think that’s sweet. Henryk I imagine is very overly responsible and concerned about Daan’s drinking to the point that it’s kinda condescending, but then he gets wasted off of like one drink and Daan has to keep him from drunk cooking sweet sundae ramen because he would cry when he got sober and realized his crime. Daan is an immensely social drunk so they bounce off each other very well when buzzed and still pretty well when sober. Henryk tries to give life advice to Daan and it’s just kind of a comedy routine every time they talk. They should go on stage together they’d be a hit.

A NOTP I have with said character: Mmm, nothing really? The fact is that there’s not enough people invested in Henryk for there to be ships that I actively dislike. I think when people are overly straight about him and Abella it’s pretty lame and annoying. You can’t just play it straight with him being a womanizer you gotta have an actual dynamic going on beyond that or else it’s just kinda like “oh wow daring today aren’t we”.

A random headcanon: He’s kind of a music snob on top of being a food snob! He’s really into country, soul, that sort of thing, and very specifically swamp rock. His swamp rock opinions are vast and numerous and he’ll be damned if you say you like “everything except country music”. You HAVE to let him show you his favorites you HAVE to or he’ll get SAD.

General Opinion over said character: I’m of two minds about Henryk. One is that I’m really curious about him and the scraps of characterization we get. What’s going on with his parents? Why is melee proficiency one of his skills? Why is he so paranoid as to be capable of moonscorching on day 1, or snapping on day 3? Is it just that he’s so normal that he’s easily mentally broken, or was he paranoia-prone before? I don’t think he’s got as morbid of a backstory as like, Karin or Levi or Daan or anyone, I imagine him more on the Abella level of “has problems but doesn’t need immediate psychiatric intervention,” but I’m still curious what’s rattling around in that weird head of his. On the other hand? Henryk is inexplicably HILARIOUS to me and I LOVE the fact that he’s literally just some guy that got thrown in here amongst the most insane crowd imaginable. Watch this video and understand that it’s destroyed my friend circle. https://youtu.be/QbIOicu10P4?si=0QhsHyye_t6ahtg-

[rigatoniiiiiiii]

I posted this before but tumblr was being weird so I had to delete and then repost ^^’

So im curious about what R, Y, B, and G could have seen in the black hole during episode 30.

what do we know about the void?

- we know it’s mostly empty, except for the individual and a place/symbol of emotional importance to the person.

A good example of this is mango’s void, where it’s only him and an empty house, a place where mango spent most of his time planning vengeace and festering in rage and grief.

- usually the subject of the void has to deal with some sort of regret or inner struggle. For mango, it was his empty lonely house, with only himself and the angry violent pictures scribbled on the wall.

For purple, it was a completely dark and empty space, with the only light highlighting them and the petals falling around them. A reminder that they are completely alone, no father around and a dead mother.

- each of these voids/spaces are likely places where their deepest and most hurtful thoughts manifest their surroundings. And it’s hard to break through to these spaces, but it can be done, as mango demonstrated.

So, given what we know, what would RGBY’s voids be like? They were also in the void for a brief period of time before second was able to save the day, so what would they have seen?

Of course it’s all hypothetical, but I think it presents an interesting way to try and visualize and analyze each of the CG’s flaws and insecurities, and how they might find hope in response to that.

Reblog/share your theories!! I think this is very interesting. I’ll put my personal ideas under the cut, but go wild :)

Red: I think Red’s void would be about their character flaw of rushing into situations without thinking/letting others know about mews plan, and how their friende get hurt as a result of that. It could also be about how Red’s feelings have been continually dismissed by the CG (but specifically Second) and how Red feels because of that.

Blue: xer space would involve guilt over indirectly causing harm to his friends. Between the many accidents with potions, the nether incedents, the witch event, and starting off the S3 arc, he probably feels like xes done a lot of damage. Maybe he is afraid that they will get hurt/reject xem because of this.

Yellow: in past episodes, yellow’s power in situations has come from knowledge. For example, theres the entire arcade game episode, the lucky block episode, redstone, learning to fight with a command block. Yellow always wants to learn more, and the result of that curiosity and intelligence is the ability to help/give to yellows friends. So it would stand to reason that yellow would be very insecure and helpless in a situation where yellow couldn’t learn anything. There is no knowledge to be gained, no secret code or strategy to find a way out. But yellow can see the CG being hurt, and yet yellow is powerless and can’t help them. I imagine yellow would feel absolutely helpless.

Green: im.. honestly not too sure about green? It feels like there’s a lot to work with, and not enough to work with. I dont feel i have a good enough grasp on his character/insecurities. Some possible ideas i had were the amount of times green has died, or greens flaw of being a bit too show-offy. Green is definetly one I would like to hear everyone’s thoughts about!

And i know second didn’t get voided, so its even more hypothetical, but i think if second DID fall into the black hole, their space would either be about their powers (which would be confusing and distressing for him), about all their friends dying again like in the showdown and second being powerless to stop it, or maybe even himself being the reason its friends are hurt. However I also think second would be the first to break out of its void, and the first to get to their friends and bring them together, and tell them how much he cares for them, no matter what the void showed.

Anyways yeah thank you for reading!! Just some thoughts I had :) im curious to hear everyone’s theories!

Tagging @lunafandoms !

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Phullo there, I’d like to ask you a question! I hope I won’t be such a bothersome.

So, I’m planning to write a story about Laughingstock and since I find your storytelling very pleasing I figured it’d be a great idea to ask for your advice about the writing!

My Idea in general for this story is just Howdy taking a day off from working in his bodega. And basically, he’ll be just wearing normal clothes.. shocking truly.

And thennn, Barnaby and Howdy accidentally stumbled into each other’s path. They later then of course had a very long conversation that lasted until evening maybe.

Of course there’ll be some fishy moments like them looking at each other with goggly eyes and other cheesy romantic nonsense- but it’s just mainly them having their usual conversation with a ‘couple’ of jokes here and there. It’s supposed to be a sweet memory for them to remember basically.

So, what I’m really trying to ask you for is- how the heck do you start a story exactly and not make it into just the dialogues? Like, I want my story to be kind of long but I’m afraid it’ll be just them, y’know, talking and I really don’t want it to be boring.. therefore, I really need your help.

I am so sorry if it’s such a bad timing considering the fact that you just had an interview which I am very proud for you for that! Even if it didn’t go as expected at least you did good half of it.

Soo, yeah! I’d very much appreciate your advice and I am sooo sorry that this was soo long!!! And again, a bad timing too.. but hey if you got any time, please consider answering. Thank you..

Also any response yet? On the interview of course.

hmmm... in my experience and Knowledge Accumulated Over The Years via reading And writing... the best place to start is to just drop in. no story introduction, no "it was a dark and stormy night", just Start. it sounds like your story begins with Howdy taking the day off, so maybe kick off with him getting ready / choosing an outfit, or w/ him reflexively almost opening the store before he stops and chides himself for almost forgetting that he's taking the day off

to combat the dialogue, maybe detail him leaving the bodega to go into the neighborhood. what does he see? hear? feel both physically and mentally? is there anyone else out and about? set the scene! ive been struggling with this too lately since i haven't seriously written in a while and i haven't been reading actual books

WHICH! IMPORTANT TANGENTS!! read well-written books, Not fanfic! im not saying dont read fanfic ever or i'd be the world's biggest hypocrite, but also read actual books. it's important to study how published authors write, how stories are structured, dialogue and action. because these books have more often then not gone through a Rigorous screening process. multiple drafts, beta readers, publishers reading it with great scrutiny before agreeing to publish - of course there are exceptions, but a lot of books are the highest quality they can be, and will outshine most fics. because, and i say all of this as good things, fics are unregulated. most dont have beta readers. a lot are from amateur authors new to the scene. there will be spelling mistakes, weird grammar & sentence structure, etc - most fics have Entirely different writing styles from each other. so if you only read fanfic, That is what your brain will learn, and it's gonna be harder for you to write. published books have less variation in styles, and the styles are subtler. there's less spelling mistakes if any, so your spelling will improve. your internal vocabulary will expand. even if you don't consciously study what you read, your brain will pick up on & internalize patterns, how action works, how dialogue works, how to structure a story, all that good stuff. if you want, i can recommend well-written books! i've been an avid reader since... like, ever. i've got recs galore! you can tell me your preferred genre & literary interest and i'll probably have something for you! and if you're not big on books, well... get out of your comfort zone lmao, books are fucking awesome and i guarantee there are plenty out there that you would love.

and when you're writing dialogue, intersperse it with little actions or the main povs' internal dialogue. if there's a natural lull in the conversation, explore that lull! what do the characters do in this moment? what's going on around them? sprinkle bits of setting in so that your reader knows where they are and what's going on.

plus, exploring the non-dialogue sections of your story can, and often will, spark inspiration in your brain for scenes and actions to fill out the story if you want it to be long (but also! if you just want to write the scene of their conversation, that's the beauty of fanfic - there's no requirements. do whatever you want lmao). when Howdy is going into town, maybe Wally calls him over for a quick pose - does Howdy say yes or no, and how does that decision change the story? maybe Julie invites him to join her in a game, or Eddie stops to talk to Howdy about him being out and about. maybe there are some complaints over the bodega not being open. what's the lead-up to Howdy and Barnaby running into each other? do they literally run into each other? what happens when they do? those are just a few possibilities of many!

remember, when you're writing, you're that story's god. you can do literally fucking anything. you decide what the characters do, where they go, what happens in their world. that mindset should help you bolster the plot instead of just "these two characters have a conversation", yk?

i hope this helps!

[coruscqte]

what is xiayu’s relationship with the stellaron hunters? how do they feel about her? i’d love to hear! ur thoughts are always intriguing :3

to preface this, while i do enjoy the hunters im not actually particularly familiar with most of them :0! with the very narrow exception of firefly, i did have to go poking around on the wikia for interactions and such to find somewhere to start.

+ secondly you left a couple questions in the tags of her last post so i'll try and answer those too! <3 (i would kill for your tags btw i hope you know that /pos)

also tagging @sundays-wing-piercing + @lesbianbootheng as per usual <3

kafka:

this is a weird one because kafka, besides firefly and blade, is likely the one that interacts with xiayu the most. pops up whenever she’s least expected, just looking to see what she might be up to every few years. depending upon how you see the relationship she has with the trailblazer, she probably feels as if she has some … vague responsibility to look out for her. keep her out of trouble at least.

its not like her parents need her to, with three trailblazers someone would be lucky to walk away with all their fingers if they touched a hair on her head, but it never hurt to just. check on her if she was on planet. then message her. then meet up with her. of course not. kafka’s the furthest thing from maternal, but she fits neatly into a rich aunt slot. sort of. if that rich aunt had a gun.

though i dont think kafka would want her to be a hunter. as much as she preaches that xiayu should be equally fearless (“a vidyadhara with magic at her fingertips and a half decent shot with an axe? tell me, what is it that one little dragon has to be afraid of?”), its not like approves of her putting herself in unnecessary danger. not without her present, at least.

appreciates the finer things in life. sends ahead these dubiously earned things in the space mail for xiayu to wear or use. most of these things are packed away in her closet, but sometimes she wears this pearl bracelet kafka bought her for her fifteenth birthday (“oh hush, trailblazer. she could use something a little womanly, don’t you think?”).

occasionally, if they do run into each other, they get dinner. discuss nothing of any true importance, its off script usually between scenes, and having someone new around — young, fresh — its invigorating to kafka.

what xiayu thinks of her is equally a mystery. i think she considered becoming a hunter shortly after march’s death and still rides the fence on the topic today, but before kafka died, she’d said elio had no place for her in the script. that she was never going to be a true actor in any of their scenes.

of course, necessary redirection. whether xiayu continues to take this as proper advice is truly up to time. whether it was fate that she eventually loses everyone but her father (and that she will lose him someday), she’s not sure if she wants to be a slave to destiny. really, she doesnt know if she already is or not.

blade:

i. am not sure. i am incredibly xing/yue pilled, im ren//heng pilled only because a beloved mutual of mine is, so xiayu just appearing in canon probably throws blade for a loop. a) *how* and b) why.

(in my uber perfect world its just one big polycule. jinghengren / danstellemarch / stellefly. this is not my uber perfect world)

but i like to imagine a canon where blade and dan heng are able to reconcile their past lives and at least become amicable towards each other again. maybe not friends, but also not stab-on-sight.

xiayu is so small and innocent to him that hes just not really sure what to make of her. this ankle biting child that clings onto his pants is not exactly easily understood and he does not want to be left alone with her. at all. so much joy in a tiny person good god. he’d sooner pawn her off to kafka or firefly before she stays with him.

though i dont think she’s scared of him. fascinated by him maybe, esp as a child she likes his eyes. its bit terrifying to turn a little and see a baby staring you down though.

but an older xiayu, if blade lives long enough to see her mature into a young adult ... is probably not all that different from firefly. amped to 11. hes not sure where she gets the energy (read: its from march). surely he comes to care about her just a smidge. a little even. maybe has one of the hunters send a message for him if theyre both on the same planet (though kafka will usually message her first). she gets exactly one (1, singular) sword-wielding lesson from him, and thats about it. to him, she has potential, if she just matures a little.

seeing someone so ready to throw their life away when she’s so young and full of life is … disorienting. his time has been up for quite a long time now, but her’s is just beginning. he cant make heads or tails of why shes like this.

i wonder if he sees dan heng in her, in her face, wonder if hes seeing his old friend in three separate ways -- through dan feng, dan heng and now his daughter. terrible facade she puts up after march and stelle are gone, but should he live long enough to see them pass, i think blade of all people might be the one to rationalize their deaths to her. after all, its finality at work. you cant escape fate, you can only use it. life goes on, and even if you don’t wan it, people will stay you with long after they’ve left this plane.

though blade’s good ending to me is him dying long before xiayu is born at all. this is just a hypothetical.

silver wolf:

im not sure silver wolf knows what to make of the trailblaze baby. and im not sure that xiayu knows what to make of her either. unlike her and firefly they relate on less things and are closer in age as well. begrudgingly, silver wolf probably offers to play games with her when she gets old enough.

though, i do think she keeps an eye out for her in public channels. nothing too fancy, silver wolf wouldnt be caught dead risking her neck for a kid that didn’t even care about her all that much — but she figures its the least she can do if kafka likes her. she’ll remove a record here, tip the scales in her favor there, other than that theyre simply gaming partners and not much else.

silver wolf is still the better gamer. just because xiayu lives longer doesn’t mean she’ll ever win. after all, silver wolf has never pulled her punches.

firefly:

firefly was at the baby shower. for sure. she brought a little gift, it was xiayu's first mobile. i like to think it had butterflies patterned like her dress over it. looking out for her, in a way lol

also, the only stellaron hunter allowed to babysit. not that the three of them tend to use babysitters very often, but if firefly isn't on a script, stelle sometimes calls her.

i dont think xiayu has ever seen sam for herself 🤔 even if we’re particularly optimistic im not actually sure how long firefly will live for in canon. she might not even live long enough into xiayu’s “normal” adulthood at 20ish. given she may discover her “aunt’s” altered form on her own, but its not incredibly likely and thats okay. firefly wants to be known as herself to xiayu, rather than what she was made to be.

flair for the dramatics though. is the one sending all the (watered down) stories for xiayu to read. cultivates her thrill seeking, and she thinks being a stellaron hunter is SO cool for a little while.

firefly (?) maybe have been the first time she experienced true loss, if himeko + welt didnt go first. i think that was a bit of a shell shock, but thats also probably how she figured out she could keep sending messages to dead people’s ids. she misses her aunt too.

i think out of all of the hunters, firefly is the one she was closest with. someone she could really talk to if she got into an argument with her parents or if she just wanted to do something silly or girly or mundane with a non family member.

i do think that firefly inspired her to be just who she was though. not stelle or march or dan heng. just that she herself was enough, that she herself was at her best no matter what. it was a rather sweet parting gift that firefly left for her, and i think it must be one of her accessories that she also wears.

-

and then i'll do my very best to address these!

xiayu's catcake is named dragonfruit creamcake <3 munyamunyamunyamunyamunya, that poor cat will meow your ear off until you get sick of it or it manages to tire itself out. then itll plop itself in your lap and youre not allowed to move unless you want it to yap at you even more.

it does seem particularly fond of rice dumpling, trashcake and ice cake. it likes to "chat" whenever anyone unlucky enough to enter the lab interacts with it, and has routinely managed to escape the little catcaketopia in ruan mei’s lab. truly, it has asta stumped -- ruan mei didn't create it, the trailblazer didn't make it, where did this creation come from?

like any good mother with their rambunctious toddler, stelle of course took xiayu out to teach her baseball. now, this did mean pompom lost a vase or two whenever xiayu swung a little too hard on the express, but by the time she's a little older she has decent technique. because she doesn't carry the traditional bat, shes not known as the galactic baseballer, but it worries yanqing that she doesn't wield the axe like an axe -- its distinctly as if she treats it like a bludgeoning object.

(classically trained swordsman v gung-ho axe wielder, who wins?)

interestingly enough, xiayu sees yanqing as an estranged elder brother almost. he often wonders if he was this irresponsible as a child, and then thanks jing yuan for raising him. multiple times.

she is decent at video games! she prefers a handheld console that stelle bought for her compared to the phone that she owns, she and stelle are 1-4 right now on one of the newer games, she’s just waiting for her mom to get back to do a proper rematch. until then, she plays other games on her console.

extra fact i thought of while writing this: do you think dan heng is the one that sees his partners in his daughter? like, has a deja vu moment everytime she smiles a certain way or says something just the way one of them would? he knows he isn't dan feng, he never wanted to be treated as such, but to acknowledge the same of xiayu, that she isn't her mothers, that is so much more difficult.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[balladofthelamb]

its funny though bc my gateway into feeling like i could identify as butch was seeing other bi butches on here rocking it and feeling so affirmed and then feeling like i could be like them. and i still fervently identify as butch but not bisexual anymore really (still a dykefag occasionally though... ah, semantics) but i wouldnt b here if it werent for like. people pushing the boundaries of what it means to be butchfemme TODAY. and like theres still so many people who are go on and spread the idea that being butchfemme is behind an exclusive wall only goldstar lesbians can access. which is weird. like what does it mean to be queer if we're not fucking around with every boundary, every preconceived notion of what it means to be gay and trans? yk? i dont fuck with people who settle on conformity. i love gay people. i love butches and femmes who understand being butch and femme transcends presentation, transcends definition. its a state of being, strings of action.... atp im just rambling but it's truly like those who get it get it!!!! i love not being afraid of confusing people. i think part of it is a lot of gays these days want to be widely understood and respected as they perceive themselves but its not everyones truth to be palatable and its not in our best interest to be agreeable

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

wild dream. Sorry its long: there was this tall wirey gaunt looking old man who was a gemini and he was obsessively in love with me. He was poor he lived in a big white van like a moving truck type vehicle. And He wanted to give me money. so he pretended to lose control of his truck while driving down a narrow street & plowed thru crowds of people, eventually crashing into this taco truck that belonged to his friend. i was in the back of the mans truck while this was happening but somehow escaped just b4 the crash. the two trucks were burning as everyone gathered around to watch. The man ran to me looking frantic & hurried me into a nearby pub to hide me. in the pub were random famous ppl drinking .. at this point the man explained to me he and his friend had come up with the plan to crash their trucks on purpose so they cld get insurance payouts and he cld give me thousands of dollars from it. i felt uncomfortable and afraid as i didnt ask for any money in the first place and dont want to b responsible for this money he attained fraudulently.

i felt he was treating me as an accesory to his crime in order to trap me and i got so anxious i literally had to shit LOL. BUT the only fucking toilet in the establishment was just in the middle of the bar with no stalls so i had to shit in front of everyone. And in a way i was fine w this as i knew all the others drinking there regualrly wld have had to do the same at some point. no one paid attention. Once i was done my friend Mel (who's also a gemini irl) came into the bar because she worked there, she was wearing a cute outfit with bright colors and butterfuly clips in her hair. Oh i forgot to mention for this dream i was also wearing a very over the top cutesy outfit like an 80s/90s idol creamy mami huge poofy skirt and ribbons. Mel took me into the back room to help me hide. we talked for a while and she affirmed i need to stay away from that man. last thing i remember her saying "No more breaking the law for you!" and i woke up from noises in the house. Weird ass complicated dream.

[doomzday-zone]

ok but actually. i know i said this in the tags on ur post but genuinely i love ur faggy infinites i love ur attitude i love how u post whatever u want and put it in the main tags bc u are unapologetically urself when it is so easy to try and fit in. u have the confidence i aim to have for myself and it's so refreshing to see somebody who embraces being Weird <3 i've never engaged because i am unwell about people being aware of me but i've literally been lurking on you and the dog and hog gang for at least a year (i never really spoke much about liking them despite having interest for years) and. just. you're all so chill. the critical thinking, lack of judgement, this world needs more of that shit fr!! i hope u have a great day – good vibes from a transfag autism brained freak (and thank u for ur tags on my essay. i'm so glad other people care as much as me <3)

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I IWISJ I COULS ANSWER TJIS AND KEEP TJIS IM ,MY IMBOX FOREVER RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO GLAD U LOVE MY BOYSSSSSSS<33333 RAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! i usually try n segment my replys to address every beat but this is so much........ to my liddle tiny heaet........ im ,iteralkly cyinf rnn can you tell????? UIVTBJVJBJVBKJ. this means. the world to me<33333 im glad<33 im glad i can inspire some of that in u<3 like for the longest time i was literally larping as one of the normies :sob: like i get it 100% the want 2 fit in and b accepted esp in fandom is strong but in my case it is utterlly unsustainable 2 follow the crowd. i cant pretend i dont like what i like. i cant pretend to be normal r have normal relationships 2 things r have normal opinions jnkjjkjbjk. and its hard!!!!!! there rlly isnt a real tangible space to be fucking insane and into weird n gross shit n etc in fandom like there is for the sanitized kiddy friendly stuff or the hyper horny stuff, its an awkward middle line 2 tread.(n im wayy too autistic 4 fandom anyways.... lol) and ik im not the only one. i wouldnt b able 2 be so unabashed and real and freaky w/o the support of all the amazing ppl ive met in my little freak circle<3333(IT IS SOOOOOO cheesey n cringe-sounding but im being so fr when i say my weirdoes n infinite the jackal saved my life<3333333333 i literally probably wouldnt even b alive today w/o em<333 thanks 2 all of u for helping me grow stronger btw hehe....)

Every day i choose to be insane and gross and a freak and a transexual faggot and autistic and TOO MUCH !!! for meself obv<3 but also for the ones i love and ppl like YOU!!!!!!!!!! >:D i cant change the world w just my little paws. but i CAN b crazy on main. i CAN show everyone that you dont have 2 be afraid of your own interests for fear of not being accepted in the greater fandom<333 even if these ppl never rlly come out of their shell... theres always someone, someplace out there thatll accept u. theres always more freaks, theres always more faggots<3 even if you never come out and yell it to the world if i could inspire just a tiny bit of this love in ppl thatd be enough for me :)

anyways. lol. kjnobjbiubjk thank you<33 a lot<3333 i mean it<333333 so many words i wish to say in this moment but ik you get it<3 mwamwa<333333333

life is short babey!!! dont be such a stranger okay ^_^

[excymothoa]

INTRO !!!! (｡> ᴗ ☆｡) ‧₊˚

haiiii hellooo !!! my names benji // pitty // frantic ,, i go by any pronouns + it/bat/ghost/xe n more !! :o)

im a minor sooo pleaseeee dont be weird while interacting with me !

all my posts will be frantic stagehand fanarts,, or others spirits from sky cotl :D maybe ill post things of my other interests!!! i follow everyone back btw :3

im very open to art trades and requests ,, dont b afraid to talk with me ! ^ . ^

plz get out of my page if youre : basic dni criteria(racist ,, homophobic ,, islamophobic) ,, comshippers / proshippers ,, zionist ,, anti-neopronouns / xenogenders !!!!!