#weird bleach headcanons

[rhaegnarokmidwinter]

weird bleach headcanons: fuck marry kill edition

Alarmingly some of you pornbots and perhaps actual humans (hollows too I dont judge) seem to enjoy this kind of fuckery so enjoy your juice I guess.

When you start spicing up your LoL matches by playing unhinged Bleach "Fuck Marry Kill" with your friend and what we've found is the following:

-Shuhei Hisagi wins an alarming amount of the time. We are just feral for Hisagi and not afraid to show it but honestly we already knew that anyway it just becomes apparent in FMK how thirsty we are for him

-Perspectives were forever changed here. Adding Yamamoto into the mix when he's the real catch is just cruel because I had no choice but to eliminate him. "It's not that I'm too good for him, it's that I'm not good ENOUGH for him." "Oh fuck I didnt think of that"

-Grimmjow is not housebroken in the least. Put up against Starrk and Aizen, was the fucking worst thing to rationalize. Aizen ended up the marry option. I'm still not sure how that happened.

-Gin gets the Kill option far too much it's so fucking unfair

-Kisuke beats out Aizen though (this is where we differ in taste though previously marrying Aizen was a shock)

-Bazz B gets the fuck option a lot. I feel like no one is surprised here.

-Kenpachi needs to be eliminated from FMK for the pure reason that he is forever relegated to either fuck or marry status BECAUSE YOU CANNOT KILL KENPACHI. ONLY KENPACHI CAN KILL KENPACHI. THATS HOW NEW KENPACHI HAPPEN. SO UNLESS YOU WANT TO ALSO BE NEW KENPACHI (which wont happen because as previously stated you cannot kill Kenpachi) MAKE YOUR PEACE WITH MARRYING OR FUCKING THIS MAN. PLEASE ALSO NOTE THAT IF YOU FUCK HIM SURVIVAL CHANCES ARE LOW. GODSPEED AND ENJOY YOUR DEATH BY SNUU SNUU.

-Renji was curiously not brought up this time. Nor was Byakuya. Do what you will with this information.

[kaicko]

Now what if Tôshirô had brown eyes and brown hair before he died in the human world?

[littleeyesofpallas]

Bleach’s Issue with Queer characters (1/3)

So, someone recently(when i started this draft anyway) left a kind of incoherent rant on one of my posts.  It wasn’t actually related to anything I’d said in the post, and just came across as disjointed babble, so it didn’t warrant a direct reply at the time.  But it did bring up a subject I would actually like to talk about:

How Kubo handles gender queer characters.

I think it’s a little easy to look at the most glaring cases, come to the conclusion that he doesn’t handle representation well, and leave it at that.  That’s valid.  And he’s clearly not well versed or tactful in how he portrays these characters, and it’s really not that unreasonable to judge him for it.  But I also think there’s more going on with it than that really accounts for, so let’s pick at it a little...

By and large what Kubo does is some pretty by-the-books queer-coding villains, and what amounts to casting effeminate men in adversarial roles.  In the big picture, it’s not a good trope to be falling back on: it comes from a bad place historically, and even if Kubo doesn’t mean anything bad by it (and I’ll get into why I think he genuinely doesn’t) it contributes to the momentum already behind it that other, less well intentioned creators and readers inevitably stand to do more direct harm with.

The earliest case of this is actually from Zombie Powder.  Very early episodic villain, Ranewater Calder is a youthful and even girlish looking man who is actually an old man sustained by a youth restoring drug.  He’s a villain of the week type, so the fact that he’s pretty and evil is literally all there is to him.  Moreover, his fixation on youth, his vanity, and his deception (he pretends to be a frail, dainty victim at first) all link directly to his moral character.  Although Calder is himself never made out to be gay, the archetype he's clearly based on is a pretty classically homophobic characterization at face value

But even here it’s not totally black and white...  

There’s a snag in that Kubo’s not writing some 1950s American pulp novel where the perils of homosexuality spell self-destruction or divine/dramatic irony on the loathesome villain; he’s writing a shounen action manga, and it operates on the Rule-of-Cool first and foremost.  Calder isn’t a vehicle for moral preaching by religious conservatives, he’s a highlight character taking up valuable print space in a popular comic.  He’s attractive, he has a cool name, he has a cool weapon with a unique fighting style, and even his vanity and deception aren’t there to make him unappealing, they’re there to make him compelling.

And herein lies the root of Kubo’s problem.  He just likes having cool characters, and he crams them in where ever he can fit them, and that often means in villain roles.  Moreover, although some characters get more vilified than others, even within the scope of villain roles, not all of them get to stick around long enough to be developed as either something other than queer and villainous, or to get the full turn around.  After all...

Yumichika was a villain at first.

And you’ll noticed I hesitated just now at calling it a “turn around” and not a “redemption” or “turning over a new leaf” because frankly, the Shinigami never actually changed alignment.  They were circumstantially the villains of the Soul Society Arc until Aizen turned on them to be the bigger "real” villain.  Technically it was Ichigo & co. that changed alignments from fighting against the Gotei13 to fighting with them.  But relatively aside, Yumichika became a good guy and his favorable portrayal got to outweigh his villainous introduction.

Speaking of which, there’s not a whole lot to go over with it, but Yumichika’s original appearance pretty closely mirrored the profile of Ranewater Calder’s bit in Zombie Powder: a kind of “sissy” prettyboy is obsessed with his looks, and other than just being a guy with a sword pointed at the established heroes making him a villain, that vanity and narcissism make them mean, judgy and vindictive.

But Yumichika came back, and stuck around, and frankly became something of a fan favorite.  And I think this particular development says a lot about how Kubo looks at these situations.  You’ll notice, he didn’t actually have to change Yumichika’s character much to shift him from villain to hero.  Yumichika gets a little less prickly, but he’s still vain and it’s not even something that anyone ever frames as a problem he needs to work on.  In fact, the introduction of his shikai brought into play a new facet of his vanity: Deception.  So we’re back to that Ranewater Calder framework, where the prettyboy has something to hide with his looks, but in Yumichika’s case it’s shown as an almost endearing quality.  He hides his sword’s powers, a reflection of his true self, to fit in.  But this isn’t shown to be a thing to pity, his willingness to sacrifice a part of his own identity is portrayed as a kind of noble restraint.

Now, granted, I don’t think those elements all play nicely together. (In fact, the nobility of his self-restraint is a very dangerous thing to uphold as a virtue) But when it comes to trying to draw a line between message and intent, I think the most pertinent thing to consider as context isn’t actually the villain or hero dichotomy, or even your own personal feelings about the themes in play, it’s the attitude ("attitude" as different from “intent,” mind you) of the creator towards his creations: Kubo seemed to enjoy making Yumichika.

He had fun with his design (the feathers and the weird sweater collar thing) He had fun with the sword, with giving him a secret power.  He had fun writing his vanity rants.  He didn’t have to have Yumichika, he didn’t have to bring him back, and he didn’t have to add to his character, but he did.  He invested his own time and effort and space on the page to him and to making him interesting to have around.

But like I said, Yumichika’s the lucky one.  He came in early, got to have a comeback, and had time to stick around.  But consider that when Kubo was floundering around trying to figure out how to salvage the mess that was the late TYBW arc, he didn’t need to bring back Arrancar, and he didn’t need to bring back the ones he did. (in fact, only the Privaron even make sense in-world, Luppi and Charlotte weren’t convenient choices, they were just Kubo’s personal picks.)  And when he did finally get around to cleaning up the Sternritter?  Bazz-B was an obvious choice to keep, sure (following that Renji/Grimmjow mold of the hotblodded rival who bucks his own organizations rules) but Giselle and Lilttoto?  That was Kubo playing favorites.

Luppi was so short lived, it’s hard to really say anything about him.  He was basically just reusing notes from Yumichika’s first appearance, which again also refer back to Ranewater Calder in Zombie Powder for basic aesthetic and demeanor.  (It’s actually kind of weird that Yumichika never really had any kind of dynamic with Luppi when they fought.)

Side note here, but Kubo really loves to build some of his recurring character types around a certain kind of scene or dynamic.  Byakuya and Ulquiorra both do this thing where they’re supposed to be the stoic unflinching types, but they actually get shocked and surprised almost constantly.  Kubo seems to be going into it with the mentality that he thinks it’s cool when the character who predicts everything and always has everything under control, can’t predict something and doesn’t have it under control, and just reverse engineers a stoic person for the purpose of having them “break character” later.  In this vein Kubo seems to have a real love of very pretty characters shifting into a kind of sinister “ugly mode.”  It wouldn’t serve his purpose to just have them ugly or obviously meanspirited all the time, the ugliness has to be served up in its reveal as that “breaking character” moment, even though that “breaking” moment is itself the core of the character.

Not to get too heady about this little observation, but it honestly feels like something that applies even to Kubo’s broader writing habits; wanting the payoff of a twist, and planning said twist first but then reverse engineering the supporting ruse only as a matter of course.  Just a silly little thought...

[1][2][3]

[your-local-hollow-lover]

Shinji Hirako relationship HC!

Shinji would tease you all the time. Your relationship with him would be almost 50% banter. He would make time for you despite his remarkably tight Capitan agenda.

Shinji strikes me as someone empathetic and emotionally responsible. He would consider your feelings above his own.

I don't think he's the type who prefers heat, but I can see him complaining about cold weather, so I think his favorite seasons are spring and autumn.

In spring, you'd have cute dates in the open air. Picnics, flying kites, and such. Relaxing dates in which you lay down together, enjoying the soft grass beneath you as you make shapes out of the fluffy clouds.

In autumn, dates fall on coffee shops or Jazz clubs. You'd savor each other's company while having your favorite drinks and enjoying music. Shinji would always ask for something spumy and pretend not to notice the foamy mustache on his lips to amuse you.

You'd plot funny pranks on Hiyori for Halloween. Of course, she wouldn't let things like that, which sends shivers down your spine because: oh, dear, she's plotting revenge.

One of Shinji's favorite things about being in a relationship is sharing the bed with you. In my opinion, his love language oscillates between quality time and acts of servitude, so he'd very much appreciate the time you spend together as the things you do for him.

If you're a shinigami, the whole seireitei would know Captain Hirako is head over heels for you. Shinji never wastes a second to show affection in that particular (sometimes cringe) way of his.

His kisses feel damn good. His tongue dances perfectly with yours as he provides soft nipps. More often than not, Shinji uses his hands quite a lot as he kisses you. He'd grasp your hair, palp your back, and rub your sides.

He's highly passionate under that cold, shallow attitude of his.

I picture him as a switch. Shinji would love pegging when he's a sub. He was the one who brought the idea to the table.

Captain Hirako prefers giving to receiving when it comes to oral sex. He's good at it. Shinji also excels at using his fingers. He has you coming within minutes.

He strikes me more as a boobs and legs kind of man. Altho, he adores your shoulders as much as other parts of your body.

He likes recibing flowers as much as he likes giving them. Even when he's not a hopeless romantic, Shinji stores courtship knowledge from different eras and uses it to his advantage when he's interested in someone.

He would not date just anyone, you know? Sinji has high expectations when it comes to picking a partner. They have to be spectacular.

Shinji is not afraid of compromise, and if he sees fit, he proposes within three or five years into the relationship. I don't see him particularly interested in having children, but if you want them, then he Shinji might oblige. Parenthood would sut him well. He'd be a protective father who's always allowing his children to mess up with him.

[b0yth1ng]

since i already posted my interpretations of sydney and kylar might as well add whitney too. i always imagined him with shitty bleached hair and a buncha piercings so......

[grimmjowjaegerjaquez]

thinking about the idea of grimmjow being relatively young for a hollow i guess bc the idea that he just pops out of the sand one day and jumpscares di roy and everyone is funny to me

[tony-andonuts]

What if Pete is actually using sugar free Kool-Aid to dye his hair?

I-

(I've never been able to make kool-aid as a dye work and also idk if kool-aid shows up without bleach so pardon any inaccuracies)

I think itd be funny if Petes mom lets him bleach/darken his hair but for some reason not colour it. At first he uses hair chalk, then sharpies/highlighters, and then kool-aid, before eventually dyeing his hair regardless of what his mom says. The kool-aid works surprisingly well so he's somewhat satiated for a couple of years before using full-on hair dye tho.

Mans occasionally still uses kool-aid if he's out of hair dye and money, shit's cheap and lasts until the next paycheck or two

[drgarrisonandpaul]

I got bored and wrote an entire ranking system for a rebel Quincy army based off of U.S. Army ranks with uniforms and stand-in characters from my arsenal of OCs.

Should I post it?

[cinnamontoads]

snooping around in the south park fandom from an outside pov is so funny like it’s so interesting to see what headcanons are popular in there now and what stuff has stayed the same since i was into it in middle school

[evilmagician430]

(open image and zoom in to view better)

top ten DIABOLICAL women of science and medicine. number 1: the mad(die) scientist A.K.A. ""Dr. Friend""*

*she isnt a real doctor, not yet atleast

maddiefriend will become real in 5 seconds

[rhaegnarokmidwinter]

weird bleach headcanons part 5:  we’re in too deep now buckos

apropos of nothing I have more bullshit. in honour of our boy coming back, he’s up first. welcome, grimmjow. we missed you and your hole.

Grimmjow Jaegerjacquez: The universal headcanons for this man seems to be that he’s either a choke-me-like-you-hate-me-but-you-love me one night stand blow me in an alley guy, or absolute goblin in the streets softie in the sheets hard as hell shell but ooey gooey center guy.  Enter the variant, properly feral kitty cat Grimmjow. You don’t run into Grimmjow in a bar, in an alley, in a fight, or in a fucking coffeeshop. No. One day you’re taking out the trash when you run into this teal-headed juicehead who can’t keep his shirt on, digging through the dumpster cause the babushka down the hall threw out a whole ass rack of lamb when the power went out and it defrosted too quick, but hey he’s a Hollow and its free real estate free dinner. Prolonged eye contact ensues cause Grimmjow don’t give a fuck when he’s hungry but its kinda weird for you when all you wanted to do was take out the trash and now you’re having the worlds weirdest fucking meet-cute. And then he just? Walks away? With the lamb leg? You shrug it off because urban cryptids are the least of your worries except this one is persistent and you see him kinda going to and fro at random points of the day? Where does he work? DOES he work? You don’t know, he seems remotely put together and fucking shredded so he presumably works out and has the means to clothe himself. Then again you did come across him eyeing up a dubious piece of expired dumpster meat like he won the million dollar jackpot so its anyone’s guess how sane or employed he is. He’s like a stray street cat that does what he wants, and like a stray cat, its not that you’ve chosen to take in Grimmjow, Grimmjow has chosen you to take him in. Ichigo Kurosaki: Will never admit it, but he’s a fucking dom. The polite, respectful kind of dom who makes sure you drink your water, go to bed at a semi-reasonable hour and doesn’t run out of toothpaste, but who will also consensually spank and fuck the absolute brains out of you if you forget said toothpaste even though it was right on top of the list. Not like you’re complaining though. Jushiro Ukitake: An actual cinnamon roll and there’s no precise way of getting around this, or the gentle fatherly vibes he gives off. He is pure, he is daddy. The more attainable, tamer DILF to Isshin’s “unattainable DILF” thing. Gives off insane vibes that he’s into ropeplay but like, shibari. Like he’s more interested in the aesthetics of it. Cinnamon roll with a tiny hint of cayenne not too much though or it aggravates his throat! Kenpachi Zaraki: Alright uh, the obvious headcanon route for Kenpachi suggests he’s into hard and fast and the trope of feeling the dick in your lungs. Cooo. Coolcoolcool. I can respect that. Except we.. know Kenpachi likes to fight. And he likes to really enjoy the fight. If its over too fast he’s bored.  Consider if you will, Kenpachi, really getting off on edging.

take your time with that one I know its a lot.

Ikkaku Madarame: is a Manchester United supporter. I can’t explain this one.

[littleeyesofpallas]

Got a fun ask from @macchiato-dreaming22.

I'll be honest I'm kind of weird in my relationship with headcanon and fanfic in that I'm kind of not all that engaged with characters as characters, if that makes sense? I'm not the type to get hung up on "he would not say that" sort of quibbles, or really dwell freefloating in the spaces inbetween canon characterization the way a lot of fanfic writers, or RPers, or stans or shippers or whatever else you'd call it do. I can appreciate the need or the preference to do so but it doesn't really call to me the way it seems to to them. So what I tend to do is try and round up all the otherwise loose bits of canon trivia and try and piece them together, only loosely speculating about things that havent happened based on their adjacency to things that have. I dunno if that makes any sense at all as a distinction...

Anyway point being is that the fact that I've never thought very hard about how old the Visored are individually/relatively sort stems from that M.O. but also I can definitely figure out what my own existing headcanon would imply is the answer to that question, and so that's what I'm going to do.

(And to be clear I'm not really going to fuss about the ages, relative or otherwise, within the strict canon of completed manga so much as I'm going to take my headcanon/AU for the character concepts and run with things from there. That might not make sense right now, but it should clear itself up as I get going.)

oh boy this got long...

So as a refresher on the AU I never wrote: Given their introduction between vol.21-26, my headcanon is that the Visored were never a bunch of gotei captains and lieutenants, they were a bunch of humans, each became something like a substitute shinigami in their own right, and then had those powers taken from them, at which point Urahara conveniently appeared and took advantage of each of their desperation to get their powers back to experiment on them, working out the system he'd eventually use on Ichigo. So it's not only the hollow aspect as an impurity, but the fact that they (re)obtained their shinigami skills in spite of being stripped of their substitute shinigami status that makes them criminals. But in the process, each of them would either be abandoned or otherwise escape Urahara's "care" and/or observation.

Given the implicit consequences of the Shattered Shaft method, and Bleach's general world building, the elephant in the room we never had addressed was that because Ichigo and in this interpretation of their premise, the Visored, all had their soul chains severed, thus separating their soul from their body, making them ghosts. That in mind, I consider them all to have stopped aging when the Visored process took place, and THAT is where I anchor most of them to certain time periods based on their basic design and sense of style. (technically I do sort of head canon them as all having been turned in the 1970s, thus ~30years prior to the start of Bleach, which is, ya know, the right age for the father of a 15yo to have been about 15 30 years ago... but if i just left it at that it'd be kind of boring, so I'm letting these age ranges drift a little, if only to make this whole thought experiment more interesting.)

So for starters, I associated Shinji with the British Jazz-Rock and Mod scenes of the 1960s: the hair, the teeth, the ugly ties, the scolor scheme, even the trenchcoat he wore the one time at random, the only thing he was missing was a moped. I also very specifically think of him as a Pete Townshend analog for some reason. So given that he passed as a 15yo highschooler in Karakura, I'm going to say I think he was 15 when he was turned in 1965, so it aligns with The Who's release of the song My Generation. So that puts Shinji's birth in 1950.

The easiest to nail down actually would just be Mashiro, since she clearly borrows from very Himitsu Sentai Go-ranger specifically, but also Kamen Rider more generally. That puts a cap on how old she could be at 1975 as the airdate of the original Super Sentai series. It's hard to judge her age considering she's so distinctly childish, but it's kind of implied that even supernatural aging aside, she's immature for her age. It's an arbitrary call to make, but I'm gonna say she was 10 in 1975 when the tokusatsu thing left an impact on her, but got turned when she was older and just never grew out of it. So born 1960.

Another somewhat straight forward one to pin down is Kensei, who I associate with the Vietnam War, and implicitly the 1969 lottery draft, and the US Military occupation of Okinawa as a launch pad into Vietnam. Although historically the actual draft applied only to those born between 1944-1950, making any draftee who deployed in 1970 at least 20yo, and I see the Visored as kind of explicitly teens, so I'll say he wasn't drafted but volunteered and was 18 in 1970 and when he was turned. That makes him born in 1952.

(I could have alternatively nailed him down to the 1980s bosozoku scene on account of his later theming, but the super distinctive cargo pants, combat boots, short hair, and a rubber grip combat knife all point to more of a military theme than a biker thing --also there's some military motif in one of his random attacks to boot. Although arguably that style of knife grip is even more modern, but I don't get the impression Kubo was thinking about it that hard, just about whether it gave off the right (para)military vibe.)

Funny enough Risa is one of the harder ones to really tie to a time period, as her classic sailor-fuku could be placed anywhere from the 1920s to the 1980-90s when they started falling out of style. Notably though they have a stronger association with middle school than high school, and Risa is also a pervert, so I want to say she's wearing it as a fetish thing, rather than as an actual student. That in mind, the school girl fetish really took off in the 80s and hit its peak in the 90s just before social awareness and political actions to try and curb the trend started being put into place. (Oh and I forgot, her Visored mask is a Gyan from Mobile Suit Gundam, so that already caps her at 1979.)

(I was also going to add something about Comiket and the birth of the doujin market, but that actually overlaps with this timeline already so it doesn't really narrow things down at all. It's pretty arbitrary but I'm gonna pin her to 1984 as the date the term "Cosplay" was first used. Assuming she was also 18 at the time, that makes her born in 1966)

(There's ALSO a weird thing in one of her attacks, and the general style of her shikai, and very very loosely a possible Chun-li reference that all seem to suggest she's got a bit of a chinese thing going on too? but I don't see how it gels with the rest of it, and it's just kind of a deadend to look further into. Technically there's a whole character type of the fujoshi/female otaku being very into chinese historical/fantasy, so like... maybe that because ti woud mesh with the general otaku vibe of the school girl uniform??? Theres a reason I didn't pursue this angle...)

Rose, I could try and triangulate the whole bishounen trend in 70s shoujo manga, but I'm gonna be lazy and just say he's the same age a Bjorn Andresen and born in 1955 as that more or less lands him right smack dab in the timeframe I would've ended up pinpointing anyway, give or take. For technicality's sake I'll say he was turned at 17, thus technically qualifying him as a proper bishounen and not just bidanshi, making him turned in 1972.

Hacchi is so hard to work with in this context... So long as this is all just headcanon anyway I'm gonna let go of even loose anchors to canon and just say his whole tux getup is a host club thing. (I know that doesn't quite feel right, even to me, but I gotta pick something instead of just juggling "maybes" and "sortas" for forever... I can't really match the look to much else eotherwise... Like a wedding caterer maybe? One half of a classic Japanese standup comedy act? Some kind of a stage magician?) Host clubs only really took off in the late 90s, peaking in the 2000s. Considering the range of dates on the other members this does kind of afford him the chance to be older, although it's sort of weird if he's the only physical adult in the whole group... If I call him 25 at the tail end of the slow decline post 80s bubble economy pop, around 2002, then that makes him born in 1979. (if i shift that back to the start of the pop in 1992, it slides him more in line with the others at 1957, but then he's kind of out of the range of the host club thing.... I dunno, man, Hacchi's an enigma... He really is maybe the absolutel single biggest wrench in this whole thing, which is a damn shame because he's maybe my favorite visored.)

(love that the little cartoon in the sweatpants was the exact thing that showed up when i googled guudara[ぐうたら]:"lazybones; good-for-nothing; idler; slacker; loafer")

It took me a second to remember who I'd missed. Love and his weird slacker, drop out, tracksuit thing scream 80s to me, and technically the whole adidas tracksuit look was in fact a 70s-80s thing. it's a much less specific kinda look than some of the others where it can be tied to specific characters, titles, and authors, or historical events... I'm gonna go out on a limb with this one and just tether it to 1984 and the release of the Run-DMC album, if only because they're the only specific names I can tie to the tracksuit look, rather than just a general casualwear trend. If Love was, say, 17 in 1984, he'd have been born in 1967.

And then that just leaves Hiyori.... Hers is such a general look that I have like zero idea where to place it. It falls into a similar time span as Love's with the track suit thing. but then she's got that mountain hick country bumpkin sorta thing going for her, which suggests she's kind of out of style, so then is her tracksuit look sort of out of date? She very specifically has some general parallels with Kumiko, in the manga Gokusen as a homely, spunky, firebrand kinda gal. If I consider that Gokusen came out in 2000, and had Kumiko be 23yo, then if I map that onto Hiyori, she'd have been born in 1977? But clearly turned very early as she's by far the youngest of the Visored physiologically.

BDAY - name (age apparent/real)

MAY 10, 1950 - Shinji (15/55)

JUL 30, 1952 - Kensei (18/53)

MAR 17, 1955 - Rose (17/50)

SEP 8, 1957 - Hacchi (25/48)

APR 1, 1960 - Mashiro (16/40)

FEB 3, 1966 - Risa (18/39)

OCT 10, 1967 - Love (17/38)

AUG 1, 1977 - Hiyori (13/28)

I guess the only thing I'd do to manually tweak these is nudge a few years around to more evenly space them out... Maybe make Mashiro a Visored before Kensei, because I feel like that's how their some of their conversations in the early arc pointed. I can't figure out if I feel like Hiyori gives off the vibes of being the first or the last recruited Visored... I like that she bosses others around like she has seniority, but also she seems like the most inexperienced and rough around the edges, as well as the overt comparison to Ichigo. Although actual age-vs-apparent age aside, the order in which they were actually recruited into the ramshackle gang they are is a timeline all its own.

Again though, I think of the Visored as that ramshackle band of undead kids squatting in an abandoned factory hoping the samurai death cops don't find them, or the mad scientist that threw them into a hole in the first place --half of them convinced that the whole process was a mistake and who just want to not have a monster inside them anymore, and that the hogyoku is the key to turning them back, but then at least Shinji secretly convinced that he's just a god in the making and wants to hougyoku to push the transformation even further.(ala the general thrust of the Fullbringer premise) The ones Ukitake betrayed for the sake or balance and order, ala his yinyang theming. The one he's secretly using ichigo to monitor via the substitute badge. Rather than just a bunch of weird coworkers who had one bad night and then just sat around doing nothing for like 100 years.

(Again, see all the odd little details of how they were introduced that later got steamrolled or just outright ignored: Urahara and Isshin talking as if they're not in touch with the Visored. Hiyori's between-two-worlds talk with Shinji emphasizing the line between humans and shinigami. Hiyori and Shinji having signs of a practiced recruitment process they're using with Ichigo. Kensei not being at all familiar with Mashiro's training process. Kensei thinking Orihime slipping thru the barrier could've been another visored, as if it's just assumed there are an indeterminate number of others out there unaffiliate with them. etc... yadda yadda.. I've made this post somewhere before, right? or has it only ever popped up in bits and pieces?)

Anyway all that just to reiterate that this whole exercise is less preoccupied with trying to make any particular "sense" out of the manga's canon backstory, and more just a pulling on loose threads of my own headcanon.

(Oh, and because there wasn't any better place to throw it in there: in this headcanon, Shinji was Isshin's substitute 30 years ago.)

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

random percy headcanons:

wants to be the photographer friend SO bad and he technically is but like 70% of the pics come out blurry or weird bc there was a monster attack in the middle of them. his instagram is truly so chaotic looking.

literally always has seashells on him someone will ask him for a pencil or spare change and he has to empty all his pockets of shells to find it. drops his backpack and a bunch of shells fall out. kicks his shoes off and sand and shells fly out and his mortal friends are like percy What the Fuck

his eyes glow underwater!! bioluminescent king. no one told him though and he didn't find out until he joined his school's swim team and terrified everyone (he managed to convince them his contacts were having a weird reaction to chlorine lmao)

he really likes art!! he doesn't just pretend to for rachel's sake he genuinely enjoys painting with her. he likes splatter paint, collages and pop art styles the best. one day after splitting some edibles they realized percy could manipulate water colors and went CRAZY with it

will ask to be excused during class and comes back like an hour later with scorch marks all over his face bleeding from one of his ears covered in dust missing three fingernails rips in his jeans and a fat lip and the teacher is like percy what the actual hell were you doing in the bathroom all this time and he's just like uhhhhhh I have ibs

the brand from camp jupiter did unfortunately (for sally) Unlock something in him lmfao he keeps getting shitty little tattoos. usually stick-n-poke but someone's friends cousin's girlfriend's brother has a gun that gets brought to parties every now and then. most of them are sloppy but you can tell what they are HOWEVER he has one that was supposed to be a seal that came out looking like one of those shitty ms paint crying memes. annabeth laughed at him for ten minutes straight when she saw it.

he wanted to dye his hair blue but he was too chicken to bleach his entire head so he just did the tips. his hair is curly though so it looks absolutely ridiculous but he loves it

percy and annabeth get a crusty little yappy white dog in college and he carries it around like a baby lmao

back to his chaotic instagram, he's got so many pics of him like, relaxing at the bottom of the mariana trench or hugging a giant squid or riding on a whale shark and his mortal friends all think he's just really good at photoshop and this is a very specific bit he decided to commit to. they're always like lol percy where do you even FIND these pictures are you subscribed to like scientific journals for the laughs? but no he just took them all on his shell phone

has an ongoing prank war with annabeth's little brothers bobby and matthew but like it's Unhinged. they're playing 5D chess and she has no idea whats going on

weird tshirts!!! he loves them! like

shit like this or those 'women want me fish fear me' shirts, anything with a funny or incomprehensible slogan is going in his closet right along with his band tees lmfao

bought estelle a panda pillow pet when she was born 🥺

can NOT bring himself to eat seafood no matter how many times poseidon has told him its fine. he's like NO these are my FRIENDS JONATHAN WAS TELLING ME ABOUT HIS GRANDDAUGHTERS WEDDING LITERALLY YESTERDAY WHY IS HE ON A PLATTER DAD. they had to give up and just start eating normal land food at the palace every time he comes to visit lmfao

gets into horsegirl antics with hazel she NEEDS to know everything the horses have to say. they spend hours gossiping in the stables.

movie nights in the poseidon cabin were 10000% a thing and when he was missing annabeth and thalia and grover (and a few others) would still sleep in there every now and then and talk about how much they miss him :(

percy and beckendorf had the worlds most elaborate handshake

he DOES impulse buy stuff just because they're ocean-themed. stuffed animals, home decor, school supplies, clothes, you name it he bought it if theres like a fish on it

has more scars from crashing off his skateboard than he does from monster attacks

grover is somehow the only person who's ever noticed percy is severely claustrophobic

has a deep passion for adele. I can't explain this one I just feel and know it to be true.

he and annabeth both proposed to each other at the same time and they were SO mad about it they kept yelling over each other's speeches lmao

he can SING but he doesn't know it. sally keeps trying to record him singing to himself but something always happens to the camera and she loses the evidence

called chiron a brony one time and mr d thought it was so funny he was nice to percy for an entire week

the camp keeps trying to convince him to teach sword fighting lessons to the younger kids but he can NOT bring himself to swing a sword at a 9 year old so he keeps getting injured

has the most complicated iced coffee order in the world his go-to local coffee shop finally just put the damn drink on the menu and named it after him

he IS the quiet kid in the back of your math class that always has his hood up to try and hide his headphones and eats increasingly elaborate meals out of his backpack when the teacher isn't looking. one time someone caught him with a rotisserie chicken in the middle of a geometry final.

he argued that he DID have enough to share with the class

currently obsessed with the image of him knocking back a container of sea salt as if it was a shot and his mortal friends being like hey! what the actual fuck! and he's just like uhhhhh anemia kills!

its his birthday<3

[teamblck]

john ‘soap’ mactavish headcanons 🧼

part 2

this is SFW but the first one is suggestive so minors dni!!!

• will whisper the dirtiest shit in your ear in public and then will just walk away

• sleeps naked

• loves his SO to wear his clothes

• shirts, socks, boxers— he doesn’t care

• has a family group chat

• the BEST listener

• when he gets out of the shower at home and the mirror and shower are steamed up he draws little pictures on them. sometimes they are of you two as stick figures, sometimes they are suggestive, and then sometimes it’s sweet messages.

• once bleached his hair in high school

• hates doing laundry

• not the best cook but tries his hardest when cooking for other people

• his nieces and nephews make him play video games with him whenever he visits

• does not get jealous easy

• give the vibe of ‘wear whatever you want i can fight’

• likes head scratches

• in public he is a big hand holder and has to constantly he touching somehow

• would move in fairly quick but it wouldn’t be weird because he basically lived at your place before anyway

• most of his negative emotions first manifest as anger and frustration (!!of course not like abuse or anything!!! he just gets very frustrated and can sometimes snap when he doesn’t mean to) but as soon as he calms down, which is usually pretty quick, he’s constantly apologizing.

• wants a whole clan of kids

• i feel like as a child he was very scared of needles and would have to be held down at the doctors

• likes to share headphones with you

• back on his SO wearing his clothes

• he would go out of his way to hide like jackets and sweaters so his partner has to wear his

• “lass that’s a shame you cannae find your jacket, i’m sure it’s around here somewhere. here wear mine”

• sneezes really loud

• secretly not so secretly loves rom coms

• has 1000% had a full convo with ghost while he’s asleep under the mask

• once set his ringtone in gaz’s phone to the SCOTLAND FOREVER sound

been in a soap mood for like the past week so here’s some more thoughts about my favorite scot

[ioniansunsets]

Alright but hear me out (hello btw how are you ?) kayn heartsteel have canonically been kicked out of his previous band ; imagine fem!reader (successful idol herself or civilian) comforting him and trying to help him push through it and get back on his feet to continue his music !

✖ Pre Heartsteel!Kayn Being Kicked Out ✖

✖ Word Count: 1.3k

✖ Tags: Established R/S, Idol!Reader

✖ A/N: You were a performer too and met him at a gig before either of you got famous! You two live together in this one, you’re a solo idol that practices at home so you can spend your days with him. These are headcanons! Whee!

----

-  It wrecked him. You two got together while he was in his old band, so it was an important memory to you both. As a solo artist, you understood the intricacies of being in the public eye but still, being kicked out? That was rough…something you personally could never experience. You did your best to comfort him.

- The first few days was the worst. Kayn was the perfect definition of bi-polar. Either his Rhaast ego was full blown, wild, and uninhibited. Man straight up was about to do crimes and was only stopped by you begging him not to make things worse for himself. (You caught him with a bag full of spray paint about to go wreck his old studio.) Or he was the trained Idol, Kayn. Rhaast entirely held back, the perfect definition of an average idol, obedient and reserved. Joining you in your dance and vocal practices in your home studio.

- Don’t even talk about the things he tweeted during that era, you had to run into his room and tell him to delete them minutes after posting. It was a bad time. If you were to ask Kayn now about those old tweets? He was on the very fence of, cocky pride on how he was a “badass” that “didn’t follow rules back then” or just overwhelming embarrassment for being young and dumb.

- There was a lot of work to be done over those first few days, you got the help of your own PR guys to try and get Kayn’s media presence looking better. You yourself doing your best to give him advice on performing, it wasn’t even that he was a bad artist, it was just…he had some strong ideals and just didn’t work well with his old band. It took months honestly but as always, drama died down and Kayn slowly got to live his life again.

- The saddest part of all this drama was that because you were an idol too it was hard to bring him out to comfort him. Paparazzi were hounding you both, media wanting to know what went down with Kayn and if you were seen beside him…gods who knew what the media would say about your career. You two barely left your house because you just couldn’t.

- So, all you could do was your best. Dragging him to game with you on the PC, buying new consoles to try new games with him (murdering things in game really helped him unsurprisingly), watching movies together at home (feel good films that actually make him cry), getting him to do weird shit like painting your shared room (you have a messy signature of his by the door), crocheting weird little animals (he made Rhaast!), hells you managed to get him to read a book (banned in various nations). It was…different. But it helped keep his mind off doing anything that would ruin his career more while satisfying his need to just be a creative.

- On one of those uneventful days, Kayn ordered a nice little delivery package and excitedly ran into your room. Holding the plastic bag up proud. “ Y/N. I’m going to change my image. Entirely. Can you help me. Like…Right. Fucking. Now.” You stare at him in confusion until he walked up to your table, and pulled 7 boxes of bleach and dye, dumping them on your table. “ I’m going to go hot pink.” You laugh, but oblige anyway. If it would cheer him up then you would spend the day helping him out.

- There was a lot of angry snuggling on boring evenings. Kayn would lie in bed in your arms ranting about his ideals, how he was meant for bigger, greater things, things no one else in the industry or his old band could comprehend. And you would hug him tight, supporting him as he complained, listening, agreeing where you can, giving him bigger and better ideals of grandeur. The both of you knew it wasn’t anything serious, but it really did help lighten his mood. “ I’ll really set the stage on fire next time just watch me.” “ I’ll bring the gasoline then.” “ For real! I will fucking bring fireworks and shit too. It’ll be sick as hell! Never seen before! I’ll wreck the stage!!!! Livestream that shit!!!” Such evenings would end with the both of you laughing. It was nice to see him happier again in those small moments. Sometimes you could even see a sneak of a soft smile creeping onto his face, his appreciation for you playing along and not stopping him.

- It took about a week before you felt it was right to get him to pick his guitar back up. Convincing him that the best way to get over the bad memories was to form new ones, the two of you sitting down to write a song. He really went HARD with the lyrics, it was a damn god rap at that but it was honestly a diss track at his old band and shall stay hidden in the files of your computer forever. You do secretly listen to it sometimes, it was raw as fuck, personally it helped YOU when you were angry and frustrated. Not that you would admit to him. It would only stroke his ego more.

- He only admitted it once. Once when you two were soaking in a hot bath together. Only Once did he tell you how much your support meant to him. Nice smells and colors from a bath bomb floating around you two. It was a slow morning, a few weeks after getting kicked out, right before he joined Heartsteel. You sat there, back against his chest as he rests his head on your shoulder. Relaxing in the tub. It was peaceful silence before he spoke up. “ Y/N…I’m going to join a new band.” You actually had to pause and turn to stare at him. Shocked. Asking him if he was sure, if he was ready, if he was comfortable to be performing with people again. You held his face, asking once more if this is what he wanted to do in his career, if he was going to give up on going solo like you. His hand rose to hold yours against his face as he spoke. “ Yeah, I talked to them a lot the past week and…they genuinely accept me and all my crazy ideas. They love Rhaast for who he is and I think I can work with this. I’m sure about this.” He laughs, putting your arm down as his hands wrap around you in a tight hug. Kayn moving his face down to your neck as he gives you a soft kiss, gentle, barely there as he whispers, not looking at you. “ I have to thank you for this by the way. For letting me Be Rhaast. For telling me time and time again to just be the Rockstar that I was meant to be. That my unique brand of rock was fine. I’ll remember this forever. Every time you see Rhaast on stage it’ll be thanks to you. Remember that.” And that was it. He never really showed his vulnerability about his old band ever again. The next day he joined Heartsteel, and it was great for him. Your own heart feeling warm and fuzzy seeing him laugh and have fun with new bandmates. And when you stand in the audience, seeing Rhaast rap some sick bars, you can’t help but smile. He was Your Rockstar.

[undeadcannibal]

Your honor I'd like to propose an amendment to the 🍆 head cannon post:

Curvature and distinguishing colors, features? Are they darker or the same shade? Lighter? Hair color? Texture? Who's got a lean? 🥎⚾s?

Summary: More requested ‘N.SF.T’ headcanons for Task Force 141, Los Vaqueros, and König~ Part 2 of this post here!

Genre: Headcanons, request(s) Characters featured: Price, Gaz, Ghost, Soap, Alejandro, Rodolfo, and König.

Warnings: explicit content!

A/N: Never did I expect for that other post to become as popular as it did. I’m happy y’all enjoy my gross and overly-detailed headcanons. Also, please note, if any of you happen to not like or find any of my hcs to be gross or not what you expected, keep in mind they’re just my headcanons. Don’t take ‘em seriously, dudes. Weird and rude replies will be deleted. ( Gif credit: xxx )

Gaz―

Not much of a curve to it, honestly, he’s pretty straight curvature wise. Distinguishing colors? I’d say his foreskin is the same as his skin tone overall, tip-wise? I’m thinking it’s a bit darker than the color of his lips and flushes an even deeper color when he’s fully aroused, mhm. Hair color of his pubes is dark and also has a some curl and texture to it when he does let it grow out for some time. Balls, too? Hm... I’d say Kyle’s sporting a nice, snug set he prefers to keep smooth and clean more often than not.

Bonus! Kink headcanon is that he adores you paying extra special attention to his balls. Worship them and he’ll be cumming all over your face in no time~

Ghost―

Slight upward curve that stimulates you in the best of ways. IDC what anyone says, man has a mouthwatering cock with a nice flesh-pink tip and anyone can fight me on it. Probably slightly darker than his overall skin tone but not by much. Pubic hair stuff... I’m torn between him being a natural dirty blond or brunet. (I can’t remember where I saw the fanart from, but someone has a headcanon that he bleaches his brunet hair blond and oof, I’m in love, also give him long ass roots since he can’t keep up with his root touch-ups while out on missions) Straight-ish texture to his hair as well, grows pretty smoothly altogether. THIS MAN has a thick vein running down the middle of his shaft, my lord. And finally, for his balls, I’m thinking he’s got a hefty set that he’s quick to push you down to so you can pay them some attention, expect some light tickling from the hair there, too. uwu

Bonus! Kink headcanon is he struggles with being submissive and prefers being dominant the majority of the time due to his trauma. He doesn’t like the idea of submitting to someone -- he’s far too afraid of what kind of consequences it could possibly have for him. This doesn’t mean he’s a sadistic or strict Dom. If anything, he’s hyper aware of your reactions to every little thing he does, also refuses anything hard or physical against you, he detests the thought of causing his partner pain.

Price―

Leans ever so slightly to the right, isn’t too noticeable though. Since he’s circumcised in my previous post, could probably notice a scar that separates light flesh-tone color of his shaft from the faint pink of his tip. Also, despite him preferring to trim his facial hair specifically, I’d see him as going fully natural bush-wise. Man’s got a lovely cushion of brown hair that’s got just the faintest amount of gray speckled throughout. While he looks very textured, I personally think his hair would be soft af. Large set of balls that droops a bit lower now than when he was younger~

Bonus! Kink headcanon for John is - if you’re willing - he’d love to use you as an ashtray when he’s smoking. He’d light up, take a few puffs, than order you to open your mouth so he could tap the ashes off onto your tongue. Ordering you to keep your mouth open so he can see the black and grey specks of ash decorating your tongue before having you swallow.

Soap―

Has just the slightest upward curve to him, definitely jokes it’s great for helping stimulate his partner’s g-spot. Also knows all the best camera angles for top-tier dick pics. Shade darker than his natural skin tone and also has a smidge of hair going up the bottom of his shaft. Doesn’t mind in the slightest though. As mentioned before, he prefers going all natural and doesn’t shave or trim much. Lord, the amount of hair this man has. Has treasure trail, hair thighs, ass, groin, everything. Sorry, I love hairy men, what can I say? Also, when he’s super pent up, his tips turns a deep ruddy shade you love to see every time. Balls are on the larger side with one being slightly smaller than the other, also very sensitive and will have him turning into a whimpering mess if you pay special attention to them.

Bonus! Kink headcanon is he takes every spare chance he can get to take and send nudes and videos of him jacking off. Doing his best to make those sounds you love whilst trying not to get caught by anyone. Those moments are for your eyes and your eyes only~

Rodolfo―

Sobbing because his cock is the same gorgeous shade as the rest of his skin, although can see the head of his cock and his balls being a tad darker. Maybe has a tad lean towards the left. Has trimmed dark hair that feels amazing beneath your fingertips. Balls are a bit on the larger side. Run your tongue over them and his dick will be twitching above your face in no time, also will draw up tight to him when he’s cumming~ Please spread this man’s thighs apart, he’s got beauty marks for days and will fucking tremble if you kiss and run your tongue over them!

Bonus! Kink headcanon is he’s got such a praise kink when it comes to his partners. The hottest thing in the world for him is for him to be showering his partner with compliments, feeling them clench tightly around him as his words register in their pleasured-addled minds.

Alejandro―

Much like Rudy, he’s a beautiful shade of tan all throughout, and his cock head is just as flushed and ruddy when he’s aroused. Much like Rudy, has a lean but his is the exact opposite, veering to  Also is hairy just like Soap, but nowhere near to the same degree. If anything, man’s sporting a thick bush, hairy thighs, and legs. Also another man sporting thick veins throughout the length of him that he’s more sensitive about being touched than he’d like to admit. Large set of balls that do sag a bit but doesn’t mind in the slightest definitely likes to teabag his partner as a result if they allow him to  

Bonus! Kink headcanon for our man is that he’s a sucker for sloppy oral, giving or receiving, but especially receiving. Nothing excites him more than seeing how ruined and messy he can make your face as he fucks it.

König―

Doesn’t really have much of a curve or lean to him, but rest assured he’s got veins for days lining his shaft. And, if you run your tongue along them, he melts on the spot. Perfect male whimpering audio material <3 The color of him is noticeably darker than the rest of him. That, combined with his beautiful sandy colored curls make for a mouthwatering view. Also has large, yet tight balls that are far more sensitive than he’d like. Overstimulate the big guy right now!

Bonus! Kink headcanon is that due to his size all around, he’s grown to have a liking for size difference with his partner being smaller than his. It’s pretty easy given his height, but more so it drives him feral to see his cock bulging his partner’s belly out with every thrust he gives.