tenaciousdeputywinnerclam

[hyuuukais]

i am literally so delusional for xdinary heroes it's crazy like i do not talk about them on here NEARLY enough i am obsessed

[mzhydes-funtimes]

Its really disappointing the sheer lack of anything lady mechanika i find on the internet

The tumblr tag just has someone reposting the book covers, the subreddit is mostly cosplay and lewds of lady mechanika, like wtf

Its a genuinely amazing series I'll give a summary of the main cast that we know the most about aka whove been around the longest and a general plot summary because more people should be into this and it upsets me that theres probably only a few thousand people who like it worldwise, at least considering how big the fandom is (basically non existent)

Our main character: Lady Mechanika is a sorta half mechanical half human person, but NOT a cyborg or android, it's more of almost living metal? Idk how to describe it but anyways in public shes a royal, expensive looking person wearing, as one of the other characters puts it in comic set 1: very frumpy. Very poofy and fanct looking dresses, however when shes in action she wears the most butch clothing imaginable. Think steampunk highwayman+american revolutionary war military clothing. (It would be easier to show and not tell but imma try to show by telling) in terms of badasstry i would compare her to Bayonetta but human and machine instead of magic.

Then we have the side main character: Lewis. He's an inventor who creates fancy machines and is sometimes hired by lady mechanika, but he does go out on adventures with her throughout the series. Think of him as sokka but also fire nation inventor. He curses a LOT but overall is friends with Mechanika, regardless of if she says theyre friends or not, theyre clearly friends considering how much she relies on him.

First main side character: Dr. Charles Littleton. He's not as important to the story as his daughter but he often has information for mechanika to occassionally progress the plot or to start the comics adventure. Hes the brains outside of mechanika due to being a medical doctor and also being rich, owning his own mansion, hes also good friends with Mechanika

The final character ill go over here is also a main side character: Allie Littleton. The daughter of the doctor, shes obsessed with Lady Mechanika to the point of because of Mechanika not fitting the stories about her she doesnt believe that mechanika is who she says she is, she becomes a bit more important in later sets but for now I'll leave you with: shes a sort of half tomboy half kinda proper girl. And dont be getting any ideas either, since i know lots of people sexualize Lady Mechanika, this girl is like 10. But if we exclude mechanika shes also one of the most entertaining imo lol. Like she straight up argues with Lady Mechanika this person who is intimidating even to the cops, who mind you the cops dont fight with mechanika.

Theres one more side character thats sort of the "marketable" character in the series but they come LATE into the story like 2 or 3 to lastest set of comics.

Anyway onto the plot:

Lady Mechanika is on a quest to find the person who made her the way she is now as she can remember being human before this but not much of her specific past. Sometimes shell find some people from her past showing that her creator has been in the town but left before she got there. The people left behind help mechanika put more of her memory back together, and with the help of lewis and dr. Charles theyre also discovering and putting a stop to the plans of the main antagonist: blackpool a, as far as i remember, crime ring with powers pretty high up on the totem pole, i dont remember if its government or company based but they do have a famous inventor in their ring, -or is it a corporation? Yknow what the specifics dont matter all yoy need to know is that they are big and powerful and sometimes do things that mechanika finds out about and needs to stop.

And its steampunk with some occassional horror elements, definitely body horror considering mechanika and the first character other than mechanika we meet who looks like mechanika, and even one who doesnt. It also has minor elements of magic in it as well, but most of it is technological, with occasional magic sprinkled in.

And as ive said its a really good read, chapter 0 is free to read, either as a free comic book day or on the website

[drawing-way-outside-the-lines]

➖ Mature content, 18+ ➖ check the trigger tags each time ➖      

Chapter 5 - Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas. Episode 1.

Evan: At Christmas day the whole gang was gathered, and I should probably do a quick introduction of them all? You see we are this group of people, we are more or less like a family I guess, some of us knows each other better, but isnt it that way with family members as well? So, you already heard a bit about Andy, Congo, Daniel and I…. Well at least we have already covered that Andy, Daniel and I used to be in a band together, nearly 15 years that is. Besides that, you know Daniel has ADD. He is a pretty cool guy tho, just imagine a 32 year old toddler. Nah, he isnt half as bad as we say he is. He just forgets things, has trouble concentrating, and he is pretty hyper, even if he smokes about 5-6 medical joints per day. Daniel doesnt believe in medicating himself to keep his feet on the ground. And I cant say I disagree. Although he at times can be very social awkward, he is a bit of a skirt chaser as well, not nearly as bad as Andy ever were, but as Daniel puts it himself, he just isnt fit for a relationship, and doesnt wanna burden anyone with the irresponssible grown up toddler he is. Well anyone but me. You see we live together, or lived together now that I spend my time at Andy and Congo's new house… but at least he is located in the house just next door so I still get to keep an eye on him. Alongside Andy, Daniel and I, there were a fourth member of our band, Tomas, a sweet guy really, more down to earth than Andy and Daniel… well even more than me. He always kept a bit in the background, pretty shy guy at times. Hopeless romantic, always on the search for the one. Truth to be told, he wanted out of the band years ago, settle down, start a family. But the rest of us kept our claws in him. Thats until Andy couldnt handle the pressure any longer, and broke up the band about a year ago. Now Tomas is back in college, trying to get a degree as he wants to become a teacher. He is 29 years old. Then there is Sparkle, one of Andy's oldest female friends… no oldest I believe, although she is years younger than him, her being 27 years old and Andy being 31. She's a sweet girl, all in one I would say. She is both tomboy and girly at the same time. She has a great sense of humor, book worm, nerdy and very artistic. A bit of a trouble maker though, so her and Andy often ends up in fights. There is several reasons for that, but it all comes down to them more or less having a big brother/little sister relationship. Moving on to Gizmo, which then should be more or less Spakles little brother, although they arent blood related. 24 years only he is the second youngest of our little group. Big time geek, very much into science, fulltime student at the local college, we often joke that he will study till the day he dies of old age. Bit of a health freak, deeply into all sorts of fandoms, and a bit awkward at times. Really great guy with his heart in the right place. Clover is a woman who is more or less in an on off relationship with Gizmo, and here I say woman as she is 36 years old, as far as I recall. She is very openminded, free spirited, and not into relationships, which fits well with Gizmo, since he isnt either. And thats the whole reason for their on off thing. When they do date, they only date each other, but they never really settle for a long term relationship, as they both like to try out new fields so to speak. Clover is a very talented photographer, very smart, loves the outdoors and is a bit of a mother type to all of us. Lastly but not least, the youngest of us all. Jenna, a year younger than Gizmo, making her 23. Student as well, very smart girl, quiet, shy, doesnt talk much, but who am I to point fingers, normally I dont talk much either. Come to think of it, I actually know very little about her.

[surpriserose]

Chris can u fancast how Hollywood would cast RGU

Jesus christ is this payback for boyfriends posting im sorry ill never do it again

God okay rgu has a pretty big cast and im gonna be ignoring some characters but only like people from the black rose arc sorry mikage and ljke all the minor characters </3 but still this is gonna be long and terrible and ouughhhh >:(

Okay first things first this is Hollywood this shit takes place in LA now and everyones been whitewashed to hell and back since im going the ghost in the shell slash death note light *TURNER* route im so sorry

Utena tenjou, now utena Turner (no relation to light) is gonna be fucking haliee steinfeld because oughhhh it causes me the most amount of pain and i honestly feel like you couldnt pay her to kiss another woman

Anthy himemiya, now called annie hemingway to not confuse american audiences, is played by priyanka Chopra because they remember anthy is indian but not that shes you know dark skinned

Touga kiryuu, now called tony kerrigan, has to be god whats that dude from to all the boys ive loved before? Noah centineo who is painfully miscast because no one understands touga who is now just genuinely utenas love interest probably

Nanami Kiryuu, now fuckinggggg ouuygghh nancy kerrigan or something, is played by jojo siwa who honestly could probably pull it off i believe in her but not with the script and director who probably make nanami unrecognizable. Because its jojo siwa she gets some new original character to have a blink and you miss it gay kiss with

Saionji kyouichi, now god fucking sean cooper or some shit, is now entirely comic relief so anthy and utena can have #girlpower moments that dont work AT ALL so hes probably like fuckign idk one of the jonas brothers the one who was in jumanji he was pretty good actually

Miki kaoru, now mickey kelly i guess, idk hes like tom holland in a bad wig being his best uwu soft boi

Juri Arisugawa, now julie armstrong, is fucking ahhhhh im running out of hip young actors im gonna have to start looking up the euphoria cast list juris uhhh dove Cameron i think that fits in that it doesnt. Juris also straight shiori doesnt exist her new love interest is ruka/ryan played by uhhhh cole sprouse lets dip into riverdale

Hmmm i think thats everyone except akio? Im gonna be vague on akio since you dont know who he is but

Akio is now aaron Hemingway annies brother and hes played but rahul kohli who is the dude whos way too good for this project and honestly i think he could do it but again akio is unrecognizable hes just anthys supportive but hilarously overbearing older brother

Other things that cause me pain aside from casting:

Utena isnt butch anymore she dresses like a Hollywood tomboy and probably gets a feminine makeover at some point and sticks with it

No one is lgbt except nanami and even then plus they probably make a few jokes about anthy and utena looking like a couple and its really homophobic

Idk the rose bride is now the equivalent of a prom queen and everyones competing to get anthy as their date or something but then anthy and utena start competing to be the rose bride

And because its unrecognizable as rgu utena and anthy both become rose brides and its the climax of the movie where theyre like ...women...dont have..to fight each other....we're all rose brides probably with some mean girls references

It closes on utena and touga kissing and probably idk anthy and saionji kissing and the rest of the couples

Olivia rodrigo makes a cameo as like the prom singer or something and does an english pop cover of rinbu revolution that is also unrecognizable

People online get mad if you ship this version of anthy and utena because theyre straight

[sailorhyunjinz]

How about super tomboyish reader who is almost like a brother to the members so doing anything to them just feels weird? And imagine how whipped they'd be to finally see you wear a toght fitting dress that shows off your beautiful curves 🥴✌🏼

OK you didnt specify with format i should write but imma just write it as a headcanon,,, because it seems fitting! SO LEGO

warnings; fem!reader, swearing, non-idol!au, highschool!au

so your closest friend group consisted of 8 guys

you've known them since kindergarden pretty much and you never felt different because you were a girl

quite the contrary, you were comfortable! and so you naturally grew into what your family described as a "tomboy"

but something was around the corner

p r o m

you hated the thought of even going

it was going to be filled with people you never wanted to see ever again after graduation, bad club music and too sweet punch

but you couldnt hate it either since the rest of the boys were so excited, wanting to confess to some girls and get them to be their prom date

[Jisungie] guys, dark blue or burgundy tux?

[mongmong] burgundy? are you fucking 5? dark blue all the way

[lixie] HEY! I WAS GOING TO WEAR BURGUNDY

[Jisungie] i think you should bro

[chan-wolf] but real talk guys, what flowers do girls like

[Jisungie] AYE y/n!!! TELL US

[y/n] i dont know? roses?

[hyunjinnie] roses seems too,,, funeral,,,

[foxdude] but real talk,,, what is y/n gonna wear

[binniebinnie] I WANNA KNOW THIS ONE

[lixie] ayo changbin i thought you were sleeping, get on the game in 5

[binniebinnie] i was sleeping before my mom started beating me with the vacuum BUT SURE

[mongmong] you probably deserved it, have you seen your room? those monster cans have centuries of dust on them

[foxdude] shut the fuck up everyone, wanna know what y/n gonna wear

[y/n] tbh i dont have a flying fucking clue, my mom wants me to wear a dress

[binniebinnie] OH SHIT Y/N IN A DRESS ITS SERIOUS GUYS

[hyunjinnie] at least she looks better than you

[chan-wolf] when was the last time you wore a dress? wasnt it like kindergarden? lmao

[y/n] ,,, oh shit you're right,,,

[Jisungie] what if y/n is hot in a dress?

[foxdude] get out the groupchat you fucking perv

[Jisungie] PLEASE DONT REMOVE ME AGAIN IT'S HAPPENED LIKE 3 TIMES THIS WEEK

[mongmong] another mf that deserves it, can changbins mom beat jisung with the vacuum as well?

[lixie] i would pay to see that lmfao

[chan-wolf] well,,, you have to wear something cause you're coming to prom with us!

[Jisungie] well obviously she has to wear something ;))

[hyunjinnie] OUT!! NOW!!!

[User 'Jisungie' has been removed from '9 dudes']

[mongmong] finally some peace

[chan-wolf] you'll look good in whatever you wear y/n! the important part is that you feel good about yourself!

[y/n] thank you chan, really!

you put your phone away, sighing as you looked out the window

what the fuck should you do?

days later your mom knocks on your door as you're playing games with felix

she's holding a long red dress and you just stare at her in disgust before saying something quick to felix and turning off the game

"y/n, it will look great on you! just try it on, for your mom!"

you sighed, taking the dress from her and shutting the door behind you and starting to undress, you could at least try it you thought.

when you put it on it felt,,, odd,,,, but not,,, horrible?

your walking and posture could use some work since you didnt really know how to sit in such a dress

but it looked alright!! NOT HORRIBLE!! YAY!!

your mom was awed >:((

immedietly grabbing her phone and snapping a pic in typical mom fashion from some odd angle

the day of prom you couldn't sit still, shaking your leg as you scrolled mindlessly through your phone

all the boys were coming to pick you up since you lived closest to the prom venue

they were all so cute greeting your parents with the utmost respect and standing all dapper and trying to be cool like 8 douchy highschoolers but failing miserably

you heard some bustling of noises and small talk, deciding that it was time to head down to the living room but barely breathing from how tight the dress was

how you were gonna dance in it still remained a mystery.

you looked down the stairs and started walking down slowly, startling jisung that was walking by the staircase

"who the f- y/n?!"

the other boys came rushing as they heard jisungs uproar, their jaws dropping to the floor

they barely recognised you

"why the fuck are you guys staring like that?"

you say, convincing them that it is indeed y/n that was standing before them

you had a body-ody-ody that was usually covered by boxy hoodies and oversized pants

but this dress displayed it all, ass and tits

not like,,, too much but just enough,,,

some of them didnt know where to look, not wanting to weird you out

whilst some were openly staring (cough jisung and changbin cough)

which felt FUCKING WEIRD you obviously had to punch some sense into them

all and all,,, it ended up being a really memorable night! it wasnt as highschool cringe as you thought it would be, espescially since you got to spend it together with your best friends in the entire world.

[uselessheretic]

banri day?? banri????? i dont have anything new but ill post a scene from wip that will never be finished where juza goes to camp for two  weeks and banri experiences realizashuns

Banri rolled through morning practice like a derailed train. 

“What the fuck,” he repeated for what may have been the twelfth time that day. 

“Well,” Omi said while cocking his head and squinting at the screen. “I’m glad he’s making friends!” 

“Since when did Hyodo have friends?” Banri asked.

“We’re his friends.”

“And that’s a fat fucking L on your part, but me? I’m built different.”

Omi frowned as he puzzled over Banri’s words. “I’m sorry. I do not know what most of that sentence means.” 

“God Omi,” Banri said while sucking his teeth. “You’re so old.”

“I’m three years older than you.”

Banri furrowed his perfectly tweezed eyebrows as he considered that. “Nah, that’s fake.” 

Azami, interested in the conversation for the first time, took one of his earbuds out. “I have theories,” he stated. 

“About Hyodo?”

“Why would I––Nevermind. Anyways, I think Omi is evading tax fraud.” The way Azami stated it made it sound like he had put a lot of thought into this. It was a convincing argument.

“Hm…” Banri considered it.

“I’m a student…” Omi defended himself. 

“Yeah, tell that to the government, Boomer.” 

“I have an ID!”

“And I’m from a Yakuza family. I know that shit’s easy to fake, but whatever.” Azami gestured to his eyes signalling a I’m watching you warning. 

Banri slapped Omi on the back of his freakishly broad shoulders. “Come on, you are kinda a whole ass mom. I don’t know what aged you up like that.”

Azami scratched at his head, also thinking about it. “Trauma?”

“Maybe?” 

They both looked to Omi, who just shrugged in response. 

“I mean, yeah, probably,” he agreed. 

Mystery solved, Banri was more than ready to go back to the subject at hand. 

“I wanna see!” Taichi made grabby hands towards the phone still in Omi’s hands. Omi tossed it to him, and Taichi, only fumbling a little, made a triumphant noise when he caught it. His eyes flew wide when he pulled up the screenshot of Kazunari’s post. 

“She’s cute!” Taichi announced in a shocked voice. 

“It’s insane!” The beginning of a tension headache was starting to form. Banri rubbed viciously at his temples, as if trying to drill into his skull and rip the migraine out of his head. 

Taichi wasn’t helping as he cried out in jealousy. “No fair! I want to talk to a girl who’s that cute!”  

“She’s not that cute,” Banri mumbled. 

“Yes, she is!” Taichi insisted. “Azami, what do you think?” 

Azami yelped as Banri’s phone was shoved in his face. Reluctantly, he took a quick peak. “She has nice skin. It looks smooth and healthy. I think she needs a lighter moisturizer though. Juza better be wearing sunscreen out there.” 

“See, even Azami said she was a total babe!” Taichi said, triumphantly. 

“I didn’t say that!” Azami sputtered out. 

“When did she become a babe?” Banri complained. “What happened to cute?” 

With a serious expression, Taichi placed a hand on Banri’s shoulder. “Bro, you can be cute and a babe at the same time. Girls are versatile like that.” 

He put a little too much force in slapping Taichi’s hand away. “Shut up. Anybody would look cute next to Hyodo’s busted up mug.” 

Omi hummed in thought. “Do you think you might be a bit jealous, Banri?”

“Huh?” It was a ridiculous assumption, so ridiculous that it left Banri devoid of words and with his mouth hanging open in shock. 

Jealous? Jealous of what? That Hyodo could talk to some girl that wasn’t even that cute? 

Okay, maybe she was a bit cute in a tomboy-ish way, but “babe” was still going too far! She was just some girl. One with nice skin and a pretty smile who happened to be talking to Juza. 

There was no reason for Banri to be jealous because Banri was perfectly capable of walking outside and finding a girl twice as attractive to chat up. There was nothing special about getting lucky that a chick could stand his presence for long enough to engage in what was probably a dry and awkward conversation.

“Banny? You in there?” Taichi’s voice broke through like a lighthouse through fog, snapping Banri out of his thoughts as he waved a hand in front of his face. 

“Why would I be jealous of Hyodo?” Banri finally spit out. “I can pull girls way hotter than that.”

Omi chuckled awkwardly and turned away. “Not exactly what I meant, but sure.”

“It’s just a surprise is all! Since when did Hyodo talk to girls? Forreal, when has anybody ever seen him talk to any girl?”

“He talks to The Director!” Omi said.

“Yeah, and I’m pretty sure he hasn’t figured out that The Director’s a girl.”

And in a show of impeccable timing, that was the exact moment Izumi decided to enter the practice room with Sakyo trailing behind her. 

“Come again?” Izumi asked. 

“What the hell are any of you talking about?” Sakyo’s voice was practically a snarl. 

“No, really. Come again?” Izumi repeated herself, a smile on her face as she cocked her head in a questioning manner. 

Deciding that Sakyo was the less frightening of the two options to deal with, Banri held his phone up as he called out to him. “Furuichi! Hyodo’s being a whore on Instablam!”

A fascinating mixture of exhaustion, anger, regret, and even more exhaustion colored Sakyo’s expression. Knowing he didn’t want to hear an answer, but aware that there was no way to avoid it, Sakyo asked, “What?”

Omi tried to reign the conversation in as a voice of reason. “Banri’s just a bit worked up is all.” And then, in a stage-whisper that was completely useless, he said, “He’s jealous that Juza’s talking to a cute girl.”

“I’m not fucking jealous and she’s not fucking cute!” Banri yelled at a reasonable volume considering the circumstances.

“Christ on a fucking cracker,” Sakyo had reached the limits of his patience. “Everybody shut the hell up! Practice begins NOW!”

The small group of actors broke up, taking their cue to start setting up for practice, something they should’ve done fifteen minutes earlier. 

“She is cute though! Director, you should see!” Taichi said as he tried to carry too many chairs at once to clear the floor. 

“Banri’s just being mean,” Omi agreed as he took the majority of the chairs out from Taichi’s arm who had begun to tilt dangerously. 

“No, this whole thing is just bullshit is all,” Banri argued. “That has to look bad for the company, right? Isn’t he supposed to be acting, not slutting it up in the woods.”

“What?” Izumi asked. “What does any of that even mean, Banri!” 

Banri handed her his phone, pouting as he saw Sakyo take a half-interested peek over her shoulder. 

“Aw, he’s making friends!” Izumi said with not even a hint of slutshaming. 

“How is that allowed?” Banri asked. “And since when did he talk to girls? Come on, I can’t be the only one stumped by that!” 

The others in the room made some vague mumbling noises.

“I mean, did he lie though?” Azami said. 

“He’s allowed to make friends. That’s what camp is for! Do you think girls and boys can’t be friends, Banri?” Izumi’s voice was tactfully disappointed. 

“Don’t try to trap me, I took a Women's Studies course last semester,” he said while crossing his arms. “I know chicks and dudes can hang, or whatever.”

“I–Chicks? Seriously, Banri?” 

Banri blinked in confusion. “What? It’s not like I said bitc–”

Before he could finish his sentence, Sakyo smacked him in the back of the head. Hard. 

“Watch yourself,” Sakyo warned him. He sighed as he watched Banri rub at the sore spot pouting. “What would you even want me to do? Give him the birds and the bees speech?”

Banri balked at the suggestion. “Gross… I can’t even imagine what that’d be like.” 

“What?” Sakyo asked. “Do you need it explained too, Settsu?” 

“It’s awful,” Azami spoke with blank eyes that had seen horror. “Don’t do it. Save yourself.” 

“Juza and lady sitting in a tree,” Taichi sang out. “K-I-S-I-N-G!” 

“Shut up!” Azami shoved at Taichi with a bright red blush. “That’s disgusting!” 

“Agreed,” Sakyo said with an affirmative nod. 

Omi mouthed the letters while ticking them off on his fingers, “I think you may have missed a letter, Taichi. There should be two S’s,” 

“Huh? Are you sure? K-I-S-Ohhh!” The world’s smallest lightbulb sputtered on above his head. 

“No, it’s S, Taichi. S,” Omi tried to correct him. “K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”

“Yeah, I got that!” Taichi said. “Juza and lady sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-”

“No!” Azami yelled. 

“Huh?” Omi said while furrowing his eyebrows. “It’s definitely two S’s. K-I-S-” 

“Stop talking about kissing!” Azami begged. He covered his ears, sinking to the floor in a horrified teenaged ball. 

Meanwhile, Banri stood off to the side. Tired. Defeated. “Izumi?” he called for The Director weakly.

“Yes?” she asked with concern in her voice. 

“I think I’m in hell.” He could barely speak above a hoarse whisper. 

Izumi patted him on the back, gentle and caring. “It’ll be okay, Banri. Although we will need to circle back to that ‘bitches’ thing later, kay?”

[transmascjfk]

i'm,, trans and hc chihiro to be a male..

i'm sorry, but i don't quite understand how that's transphobic. could you please explain how chihiro is transmisogynistic? (sorry if i come off as rude - that's not my intention and i genuinely just don't understand, though i would like to!!)

What is transmisoginy?

"Transmisogyny is a distinct category of transphobia in that transmisogyny mainly focuses on trans women and other transgender individuals who demonstrate femininity, whereas transphobia is a more general term, covering a broader spectrum of prejudice and discrimination towards transsexual and transgender individuals. Julia Serano states in Whipping Girl that "when the majority of jokes made at the expense of trans people center on 'men wearing dresses' or 'men who want their penises cut off' that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny. When the majority of violence and sexual assaults committed against trans people is directed at trans women, that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny." "

Chihiro is written to mock trans women, to say that in reality trans women are secretly men, she is a man who is weak and uses being trans as a way to escape her problems, this is a thing that is also said to trans men a lot, that theyre just trying to avoid the hard parts of being a woman by becoming a man. Even if the writters intended it to be like that or not (which they probably did because transphobia is a big thing that happens a lot, obviously) it's still transmisogynistic. Thats that on that

This is a pretty common transphobic trope actually, the "Turns out this one character was actually from the opposite sex??!!", theres more examples of this in other games outside Danganronpa.

But also her experience is pretty different from other examples, her experiences are way too similar with trans womens experiences.

This is mostly for the cis people who call her a crossdresser and refuse to change their mind, on it, sit down.

Written by a trans man.

Don't tell me whats transphobic and what it's not transphobic if you're cis. Just sit down and read.

Tw: transphobia, transmisoginy, death mentions and blood in the pictures.

The game implies a lot of stuff with her dialogue, it doesn't straight up says "I don't want to be a woman anymore, I'm a man" like everyone claims it does.

[ Alt text 1:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I'm going to get stronger...and accept who I am... ]

[ Alt text 2:

Chihiro Fujisaki: Strong enough so that when someone says "even thought you're a boy" I'll be okay. I'll get better! ]

[ Alt text 3:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I wrapped myself in lies. I'm weak. I want to destroy that version of me forever! ]

[ Alt text 4:

Chihiro Fujisaki: ... I want to change. ]

[ Alt text 5:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I have to change. I don't want to be weak anymore ]

She goes to Mondo not because hes masculine, but because she admires him and his strength. She never once says it's because shes a man or because Mondo is a man.

[ Alt text 1:

Chihiro Fujisaki: Maybe talking to Mondo about it will help give me some courage... ]

[ Alt text 2:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I admire... your strength... ]

These dialogues can be read in two ways, the first one being the one the game tries the hardest to put in your head thats shes a man, all of this guessed by other people btw not what she herself says. Which is really transphobic, because she was written as a trans woman and then theyre like "uh no actually hes a man, because he was born as one but hes a coward so he started to dress as a woman to hide from his problems. Because thats what people do right? People who dress as their oppossite gender are so pathetic, specially men amiright? Ahaha"

Reading it in this way really weird, you're doing a lot of mental gymnastics because you would literally call her a trans woman with all of this if the rest of the trial, that consists of cis people assuming shes a man, didn't happen. And sadly you're following transphobic ideas by this. Because the canon is transphobic and transmysoginistic.

And the other way is just read what she says, that she just wants to be stronger and stop lying to everyone, basically about being cis, because shes not, shes amab (assigned male at birth) and thats probably what she said to Mondo, but most people when a trans person who already passes or is in their transition comes out many people tend to think "oh so youre your gender assigned at birth and not the one you claim to be?", because they don't get what being trans is and they think only "biological gender" is a thing. Basically, misgendering and invalidating the trans person.

I can guess all of this just because of how vague they decided to make her dialogue, not even showing how she tells Mondo about being amab.

What did she said to Mondo? "I'm trans"? "I'm a man"? "I was born a man"? We dont know, because they didn't show it and she died right afterwards and then everyone was like "Chihiro was secretly a man" to solve the case and thats it. A lot of people in the discourse get their information from Monokuma who isn't either Chihiro or even Mondo. Monokuma knows many things but he can't read minds to know if she was really trans or not, only she could say it but she died so she couldn't explain if shes trans or not.

[ Alt text:

A youtube comment by Gail Frisbee, posted 4 days ago, this comment was edited by the autor. The comment says:

"It's honestly increible to me when people try to argue that a scene in which a female-presenting character gets their genitals groped and then is posthumously referred to as a male from that point on can't be transphobic just because that character calls themselves a boy in some other side content later. It's on about the same level of intellectual honesty as claiming that Quiet from MGS5 isn't really fanservice because she totally breaths throught her skin you guys.

As it turns out, if you really dig down deep into the lore, Chihiro is a fictional character and the same people who wrote the genital investigation scene also wrote the lines that character says in the game as well. It's a shocking twist, I know." ]

Her fears of being outed and people founding out her secret (being trans) or being transphobic is used as a gross big twist. A trans woman being used as a mockery of trans people? Great totally normal (/sarcasm)

Read this post made by a trans woman. I'll be using this only part but it's still a great read.

[ Alt text:

So. There is a lot to unpack here, but I want to start with something that specifically hurts me as a trans woman, and that's how the game flippantly uses real world horrors trans people face as shocking reveals and twists. You can go down the list for "worst nightmares" of trans people incluiding:

Threatening to be outed against your wishes

Outing yourself to a trusted friend and being met with rejection, or worse, violence

Having your body and privacy examined and invaded

Having your deadname used and being misgendered after death, when you can't correct them ]

Now, let's go to her backstory for a bit. I will be using the wiki for this. (Which sadly uses he/him for her 💔)

" When Chihiro was a child, he became the subject of harassment and bullying. He was always told to "be a man" and that he was "so weak despite being a boy", and because of that, Chihiro slowly but surely began to develop a "weakness complex". In order to escape the bullying, Chihiro began to dress as a girl so that people wouldn't bully him as a weak boy. "

This doesn't sound like a normal crossdresser, this sounds like a trans woman who was bullied for being different when she was younger, like many trans people, and then she decided to transition because she's a woman, she wanted to be more feminine and stop being seen as a person shes not. Specially after so many people tell her to basically man up when she doesn't want that, because shes not a man.

Have you ever heard of the classic stories of "since I was little i knew i was different, i was a boy who liked playing with dolls and was more feminine than the rest" or "i used to be a tomboy when i was little, i had mostly male friends, i liked playing with car toys and was more masculine than other kids" coming from trans people? This just sounds as these types of stories to me.

People also like to say that alter ego uses he/him pronouns and says shes a boy. Many trans people can misgender themselves for personal reasons too guys, she could've been trying to misgender herself because she didn't felt like she wasn't enough to be a real woman, this happens a lot to trans people. If people constantly tell you that you're not actually transgender or you just feel like you're faking it then you might actually believe it, thats were most "detransitioners" come from. And thats basically what they made her, a detransitioner.

Some of you might also don't get how shes trans because you think she doesn't perfect or exact trans stereotypes. Trans experiences can be similar on the feeling of not fitting in, dysphoria, etc. But trans experiences, stories, transitions and complete lifes can be very different, because we all (including cis people) live different lifes, experience, process and cope with things differently. So i can understand why you might not get her being trans coded at first, don't worry. But try instead of just not caring because you don't get it at the first try, to see what trans people say.

This whole discourse its mostly cis people talking over trans people about their own experiences (incluiding the dead trans coded characters experience) saying if theyre valid or not and denying stuff not wanting to learn anything, completely refusing to it because "In canon hes a boy" ok then in canon shes written in a transphobic way too but most of you don't care about that. You would rather call her a crossdresser than try to acknowledge how obviously trans coded she is and how thats used as transphobia.

The way most cis people act in this discourse is very transphobic to me to be honest, if you think you're a good ally but act like this then you should get more educated on the topic as a whole and about trans people too.

-the trans Chihiro flag to finish this up, she has a bit boobie! good for her! good for her.

[fightevilandthengetblownup]

Chat: Jo + Gray romcoms

(for lexy)

Jo> She likes pointless fluff movies. I’m being told I have to watch Friends With Benefits next after I finish the last 20 mins of the first half of this series

Jo> :l

Jo> *actually doesnt mind that movie just finds it hysterical Jo does*

Grey> Is Friends with Benefits the one with Mila Kunis?

Jo> Yep

Grey> Who’s the male lead in that?

Jo> Justin Timberlake

Grey> Ah

Jo> It’s kind of hilarious that Jo likes that movie

Grey> Because of how she is about relationships?

Jo> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_CVAI_twO0 and then http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XA6M-V4oHso first 20 seconds just… kind of amazingly hilarious.

Jo> She’s somewhere between or actually boh main characters at once

Jo> (Also the Train in the background of the first cracks me up)

Grey> TRAIN IN THE BACKGROUND LOL

Jo> Yeeeep

Grey> You linked me the sex scene? LOL *signs in*

Jo> Its the end of the crappy romcom movie that the girl wanted to watch and the guy spent the entire time paying out.

Jo> LOL

Jo> Yes

Jo> Because

Jo> First 20 seconds is magic

Jo> …hell the entire thing is magic

Jo> And hilariously like if Jo were a guy and a girl at the same time

Jo> honest to god

Grey> “I sneeze sometimes after I come” *drink everywhere*

Jo> Wait for it

Grey> HES SINGING

Jo> LOL

Grey> “WHOA TOO FAR”

Jo> “When women start to scream it can me misconstrued”

Grey> *dead*

Grey> So much for just once

Jo> LOL Yeeeep.

Jo> Can you see kind of where I get my amusement from?

Grey> Yep

Jo> “Grab my hair.” “Kiss my neck”

Grey> *dies at butt part*

Jo> *nodnod*

Grey> Oh my god

Grey> Oh man mom walking in at the end

Jo> Lol yep

Jo> I find so much fucking amusement from that movie and the fact it’s number 3 on Jo’s fave ‘romcom’s

Grey> What are the first two?

Jo> Pretty Woman and Miss Congeniality

Grey> Awwwww Miss Congeniality. "So her top favorites are about a hooker finding a sugar daddy, a tomboy becoming a barbie doll and two friends fucking?“ Gray that’s not… no.

Jo> "Got a problem with that?” Gray. Darling. No… …though he has a point but no…

Grey> “Other than your taste in movies is shit. No.” He’s got the air of implying about him.

Jo> “…I’m just glad it was top three then, I’m sure you’d find the next two just as shit…” Jo is well aware the implication and I am snickering my head off

Grey> “And what are those, Legally Blonde and The House Bunny?” *pets her*

Jo> “…no. Clueless and a tie between 500 Days of Summer and Runaway Bride….

Jo> ” She knows how bad those are, but theyre better than Legally Blonde and House Bunny at least. (What’s Your Number, Stardust, Legally Blonde, You’ve Got Mail and Sleepless In Seattle round out the top ten though)

Grey> “*snickering*” Yeah. The House Bunny is shit but Legally Blonde isn’t bad imo. It’s got Matt Davis in it for one so…

Jo> “…oh go ahead. Say it.” Lol yeah House Bunny is. Legally Blonde’s pretty alright - the second is dreadful though.

Grey> “Say what that you have horrible picks and clearly just want some guy to swoop in a rescue you?” Second one doesnt exist in my mind. Because I like the first one too much to admit it.

Jo> “You just don’t like romantic comedies and most of those involve free thinking, independent women who can survive all on their own without a man…sorta.” LOL I cried my way through it. In pain.

Grey> “Except they all end up with a guy and the whole plot of them is either "fucks a dude and keeps fucking him” or “discovers she’s ladylike after all”.“ I saw it on tv once, attempted to watch then switched the channel 5 minutes in because it was hurting

Jo> "Pretty Woman is about how you aren’t just your job - that there is more to a person than just that; Miss Congeniality is about doing the right thing, and that everyone can be more than what their intial appearance might suggest; FoB is about how… sometimes worrying about the labels of things can ruin something that’s working and that …getting over that shit’s for the best…” It’s dreadful..

Grey> “Uh huh.” Yeah I dont know what charm the first one has that the second one is missing but you can definitely tell it’s missing it. Same with Miss Congeniality, first movie is cute second movie makes you want to tear out your eyes

Jo> (Oh god, I just realised the girl in Friends with Benefits at the start is going to go see Pretty Woman at the cinema as some romcom weeklong thing and her then bf dumps her out front and she’s already missed the boots)

Grey> *DEAD*

Jo> “…shut up, alright. God, a girl is allowed to like pointless fluff sometimes!” LOL So so true. The same goes for Bring It On. *crying at this movie again now*

Jo> (“You know I love this movie! If a prostitute and a ruthless businessman who fall in love, then anyone can. *wistful sigh/tone*” *dying*)

Grey> “I would think you get enough of that with the runt.” Oh my god that’s hilarious

Jo> “…I think your brother knows better than to..freak me out with that sort of thing. Reality, fiction, don’t cross the streams..much.” I know. I forgot it and now Im dead.

Grey> “So he’s not constantly trying to bring you flowers or jewelry or anyt of that other crap? I’m surprised he has so much restraint.” No wonder Jo likes the movie

Jo> “No, he’s not. Seems you don’t know him quite as well as you think…” Oh yeah. … http://youtu.be/GvBNVJjhj4Q?t=11s Just… start o the film is pretty much this. And yep. It totally does.

Grey> “Or he doesn’t like you as much as he says he does.” I feel bad for Justin’s character cause that bitch crazy

Grey> “Next time just shit on my face cause that’s the same thing” no it isnt lady

Jo> Wait for the explanation of Mila’s character

Grey> WOW Andy’s a dick

Jo> LOL Yuuuuup

Grey> *spit take at Justin*

Jo> Just wait

Jo> It gets more

Grey> *DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD*

Jo> “Or maybe he likes me as much as he says he does and doesn’t want me to feel uncomfortable or pressured and is making sure I’m okay with things.” I KNOW RIGHT?! AND THATS JUST THE FIRST THREE MINUTES OF THE MOVIE

Grey> “If he liked you as much as he said, he’d get you flowers. Because that’s what Grey does, flowers and chocolate and bubble baths with candles and rose petals and all the other lame shit because that’s what he does, he does the lame "romantic” crap and he likes doing that. So he either doesnt actually care that much or he’s completely terrified of you and is too scared to even approach the matter"

Grey> That’s hilarious

Grey> Especially Justin’s just completely lunatic of the girlfriend. Like Mina’s guy was just lazy and a jerk but Justin’s girl was fucking monkeynuts crazy

Jo> “He would not - he might want to, but right now? He wouldn’t. I prefer non-materialistic things anyway so…” I know. She’s amazing. She keeps calling too. I seriously recommend it if you have a few hours to spare or fill or are bored sometime because that movie is just great. Better than No Strings (the Portman/Kutcher one)

Grey> “If he wouldnt its because you’re scaring him. But hey if you’re cool with him being too scared to say what he wants then….” It does look a lot funnier than Natalie’s

Jo> “I am not /scaring/ him. He knows he can say whatever he likes to me or bring up stuff…. …” It is. I’ve seen both several times, Friends With is much better. The original Coke to Nat’s new.

Grey> “Sure he does. That’s why he didn’t tell you he loved you for the longest time. Because he’s totally not afraid to talk to you.” I feel like I should just watch both then Black Swan to mindfuck myself but I can’t right now lol

Jo> “He does, and… that’s none of your business, and it wasn’t 'the longest time’, was barely three months after..” LOL Oh god that would be dreadful.

Grey> “Uh huh. And he hasnt really said it again has he?” Yep it would

Jo> “He has too. …a few times.” Brainfuck indeed.

Grey> “And I bet you know exactly how many because it doesnt happen a lot.” Completely

Jo> “…your point being? People don’t have to say they love one another all the time, I’m sure you could count on one hand the number of times you’ve said it.”

Grey> “Because I’m a arrogant asshole monster who doesn’t really give two shits to get emotional about things. Does that sound like Grey to you?”

Jo> “…no. Sounds a little like me though, so instead - how often has Anna said it to you, huh? Just because he doesn’t say it often doesn’t mean he doesn’t know he can ask about things or talk about stuff.”

Grey> “More than five times less than twenty. He’s stupid though, how would you know he knew he could ask if he doesnt feel like he could say it? Doesnt matter now I guess with that collar on you he’ll be too freaked out to do much of anything”

Jo> “..Oh. ….Because he knows me? Because neither of us is going to judge or fly off the handle? Because I haven’t gone running yet? ….shut up, fuck you.”

Grey> “If he knows you he knows that your terrified of getting attached and won’t bring it up for fear of driving you away. I’m just stating facts.”

Jo> “Otherwise known as caring and respecting a loved ones boundaries. And you say that like we’re not attached, because we are, so shove off. …you’re being a dick with the truth.”

Grey> “Otherwise known as being spineless. Wait until he wants to get married then see how attached you are. Better than just being a dick right?”

Jo> “There’s a difference - one is being respectful, the other has no basis other than fear for it. …. ………. Let’s not talk about that, ever, again. Oh shut up..”

Grey> “So how do you know he’s doing it out of respect instead of fear? Just wait.”

Jo> “Because, I just do. …And I said again…”

Grey> “Uh huh. You’re going to run when you see that little box.”

Jo> “…. ….I’m not going to run..” Mental commentary: “I’m going to politely say I need time to think, excuse myself and go hide under the covers. The fastest will be a brisk walk. Yes. No running. It’d be fine.”

Grey> “Yes you are. Watching him bend his knee and go into his pocket for it is just going to scare you so badly you’re going to take off running like a scared deer.” Awwww poor Jo

Jo> “No. I’m… I have more restraint than that even if that /isn’t/ my response.” Think she’d feel bad for it but..unless she suggests it she’ll probably freak.

Grey> “You’re right, cause he’s probably going to do it in public. You wouldnt want to make a scene. All those eyes on you expecting to say yes especially his when he looks so happy and expectant.” He wouldnt ask. I mean like… probably never unless they actually had a kid. Because he knows it wouldnt work

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/VIirTZQWJBg?t=30s *crying* Guess Jo has a penis where her vaginas supposed to be)

Grey> (SO DEAD. Oh Woody Harrelson you are always hilarious)

Jo> “…shut up. How do you know the answer would be no? Or that I wouldn’t be the one askin’? Everyone’s always calling me the boy of us…” Cue gray laughing head off. And yeah, no - I’d figured he probably wouldn’t, what’s sad is a marriage would work but proposing the idea wouldnt. (IKR? He’s a gay sports writer)

Grey> “Because you don’t do commitment? You… ask him… *laughing*” *nods* He’d figure they couldnt therefore wouldnt ask unless its a kid in which case he’d feel like “this is a family now” and ask. (He’s hilarious. I lost it)

Jo> “I do sometimes. …. *tries not to laugh as well* Yeah, okay shut up..” Yep - which I think he might be able to get a yes if he didn’t say it was cause she was preg or had had a baby, mde the family comment instead. (LOL Yeeep)

Grey> “Fine. That was funny enough I’ll shut up. *still laughing*” *nods* I think his approach would be something like “I’d like for us to be a family. And I want to be officially part of that family.” Plus that way if something happens to Jo the kids stay with him. (Armpit girl? Do I even want to know…)

Jo> ( http://youtu.be/GJucbfuvh-A armpit girl)

Grey> (Oh Justin baby what is it with you and crazy broads)

Jo> “Glad you enjoyed it… *fails at holding back a giggle* Okay seriously, I’m not that bad.. or I’m not the worst, so shuddup.” Yeah, that would actually probably work. (Yeeeep)

Grey> “Not the worst? Right okay compared to like me or something.” And of course Grey would have the sense enough not to try to make a big affair of it, nor would he want to

Jo> “There are worse people out there without going straight to you, Gray.” Yep yep - big affair woul get a no.

Jo> (Oh god, I forgot the guy in this has a stutter when he was nervous)

Grey> “*indignantly* Are not. I’m the worst. End of discussion.” *slaps Gray for wanting to look like the horrible monster again* I think the closest he’d come to that was asking if she wanted her mother there or any close friends. (So dead)

Jo> “Sure thing, I just meant there were people between the two of us on the worse scale is all.” *snickers at him* lol true true. Knowing Jo she’d not want much, or until after. (Yeeep)

Grey> “Nope. You’re close enough to me there’s no one left between us.” *nods* Jesse go to bed jo harvelle gray chat complete Aug 21st, 2012

[krustywhore]

hello id like to order one (1) set of fluffy skipster hcs pls and thank (u dont have to do this if you dont feel like it lololol)

oof yes ok so for starters she physically cannot sleep by herself

she always used to share a room with her brother and sometimes when they were having a rough night and their parents were being dumb fucks they would hold each other because they didn't have parents to do it for them

even when she was in the refuge, she would share bunks with anyone who was willing

(my upcoming fic sneak peek lol) she was particularly fond of cuddling with race since “he’s so tall he can cover me completely!”

so she’s the cuddliest person alive

also, she’s a bit of a tomboy when it comes to clothes, especially after she became a newsie

she used to borrow her older brother’s sweaters and shirts all the time when she didn’t want to wear all the frilly dresses her parents bought her

so, she still does that with all her new brothers

(modern au) especially when they all start going off to college and she’s still in middle school/high school, they all leave her with hoodies and hats and all kinds of spirit wear from their schools so she can feel like she’s still getting all the snuggles even when they aren’t there

also,  she’s totally an advocate for the planet and animals and all that stuff

she loves nature and in high school she was the president of both the animal shelter club and the city clean up club

her favorite place in the whole world is at the central park reservoir because she can feed the ducks and the birds while she skips rocks and yells at pedestrians who leave behind their picnic trash

seriously, she will literally walk all throughout central park yelling at anyone who litters

she went with race to brooklyn one day so she could see the horses at the sheepshead and they passed by the docks and she saw all the garbage and got so mad

literally she was practically fuming as she started cleaning as much of it up as she could that when she saw someone toss a sandwich wrapper onto the docks, she almost punched the guy

needless to say, spot was very impressed with this kid race brought onto his turf

so skip frequents the brooklyn docks every weekend or so and does her weekly clean-ups

soon enough she’s an “honorary” brooklyn newsie and race is beginning to regret bringing her there since she seems to have reached the same level with his man

secretly spot knows it’s true, but that’s just because there’s nothing he loves more than brooklyn (that is, until he and race start dating and joining skip on her clean-up days)

[virgoes]

im sorry @followers lmao

^

1: Favorite MV? i really like the married to the music mv like the aesthetics of it2: Who was your first bias in ______? uhhh i’m gonna do all my faves i guess; bts: yoongi tbh; exo: minseok; got7: ...jb; shinee: jonghyun; exid: solji; astro: eunwoo; wonder girls: sunmi3: Favorite OTP? i dont know uhhhh i like chanyeol n ksoos friendship 4: Least favorite group? i dont pay attention to groups i dont like5: Favorite girl group? wonder girls... or exid i guess6: Favorite duo? akmu7: Favorite Solo singer? dean8: Your favorite K-drama? uhh i really like the best hit tbh i really liked heart strings though throwback to when i was super into cnblue9: Favorite Actor and Actress? i don’t know enough about acting to know who i like or don’t like10: Last group you started to listen to? astro i think 11: Last song you listened to? jjp’s new album12: Favorite picture(s) of your bias(es)? i don;t save pics tbh all my favorite things about/of members are in each of their #best (name) tags13: Favorite picture of your bias group? ^14: Favorite era? bts: hyyh pt 2; exo: ex’act i guess; idk anyone else enough15: _____ or _____ ? (members/songs/MV/OTP/actor/actress/groups) lmao16: How many k-pop songs do you have on your phone/ipod? i don’t download songs anymore, i have ailee’s ep from forever ago and cnblue’s ep too i think that’s it oh and some snsd songs17: What did you listen to before k-pop? i mean i still listen to a variety of stuff now too lmao but i liked indie or psychedelic for a little and then before that i was REALLY into bands like emo/screamo bands18: Tell me about your bias. Why is s/he your bias? (i’m gonna do my number 2s too cos this is fun lmao.) for yoongi: i guess the biggest thing is that he’s in it for the music although like so is namjoon but yk and i always respect musicians no matter their level of fame so and he’s similar to me in terms of how he thinks and acts from what he’s shown us at least and i’m self absorbed lmao and i dunno hes cute i guess. kyungsoo: he’s really driven so i respect him for that he’s not really afraid to be himself i think and he’s super like next door boy style :/ i think he’s being recognized as an actor which is cool too. eunwoo: he’s cute as FUCK and maybe it’s because he’s new in the industry but i like how he knows his place and is so so modest and humble and also driven to do what he wants well. jimin: i love his dancing style and how tiny n cute he is and how much it seems like he genuinely cares for the people around him and his fans mmm i feel like he takes criticism badly though but he always tries to please everybody even if that means bad on him. baekhyun: he’s super funny and annoying but like everyone in exo says it livens the atmosphere and it rly does and his voice is so nice like his singing brought me in first i think and it’s nice to see him grow esp because with him he seems to be accelerating in terms of growth like as a performer, singer, person compared to other people. mark: i think he’s been kinda blowing up recently but it doesn’t seem to affect him that much which is nice i think n he just seems like he’s having fun and sometimes it’s not that deep so19: Your favorite thing about your bias? ^ basically lol but if i had to specify one thing each (just for my no. 1s) then yoongi: his involvement + passion for music, kyungsoo: his motivation, eunwoo: how cute he is lmao 20: How did you get into k-pop? my friend showed me some music videos and then i started listening to suju, beast, snsd, and shinee’s title tracks and then started getting into stuff that way. i got back into it once i listened to exo’s stuff21: How did you discover your favorite group? if bts is my fav then i just saw dope’s mv lmao and my friends liked them too so i decided to actually listen to them22: Favorite performance? bts’ cover of perfect man maybe23: Favorite song by ______? ill just say my fav k-song rn it’s tomboy by hyukoh lol24: A group you never thought you would ever listen to? honestly anything past exo like i didn’t think i’d ever get into bts or anyone else especially k-indie and k-hh artists cos i didn’t wanna get too far into k-music cos i know it’s a trap lmao25: A group you'll never give up? probably shinee + cnblue since they were my favs from the start26: Do you own any merchandise? no actually, my friends in korea rn might be getting my posters but i have spotify premium so 27: Favorite album? the ones i can constantly go back to and listen to are dean’s albums, hyukoh’s 22, wonder girls’ reboot, exo’s exact, bts’ wings + dark&wild28: Ever heard about _____? lmaoooo29: Do you think you will like k-pop in ___ years? i think this time around it’ll be a much longer phase 30: An unpopular opinion about______? idk

[diary-of-a-latin-trans-guy]

Day One

So, how it all started? I have no idea, but for the last months I've been toying with the idea of being genderfluid. I told it to my closest friends, specially the ones I know they are LGBTQ+ but lately I've felt like most days are "Dude days". Then it came the video, Honor Councill, when I saw Wren I thought "Damn, one day I want to look like that" and my brain started running. I was really unsure first, I told one of my friends, the one who has been kind of like my LGBT stone, the one I trust the most when it comes to my identity, the one who knew first I like girls... She told me she was 1000% behind me, that it was ok and that I had her full support and I am really grateful for that. But still i wasnt completley sure. I kept staring at the mirror asking myself: "Who are you, really?" But the mirror kept quiet, just me with my red lips and long hair. "Cold you really be a boy?" I stared at me, my small but cute boobs, my perfect femenin face, my small waist and broad hips. "But, you are a perfect girl! You rock those dresses, like you are a godess!!" But it didn't felt good. I stared again at the mirror and felt like something was missing between my legs. I took of my shirt, having my chest bare and felt like my boobs were too big when I used to think they were really small. "Who are you?" I removed my carefully aplied make up until my face was conpletly natural. "You are really a gorgeous girl... why cant you just be a girl?" And my reflection just kept stating back at me. And suddenly I realized. I am not a girl, genetics messed up. I dont want this body. I am a boy. And I gave a deep breath. I am a boy, a really handsome boy. Even if I have a vagina, even if I have boobs, inside of me there is a really cute boy waiting to show. I remembered then what I used to say jokingly when I was in junior high "It's like I'm actually a gay dude" Because I've never thought the way girls are supposed to. And I also remembered the weird tomboy phase I went through, the weird feeling I've always felt when I look my reflexion in a mirror, how happy I was when I had my hair short. And I just embraced the concept. My mum wasnt at home and my dad barely moves away from the sofa, I said 'why not?' And went to my closet, grab a small sports bra I have, one of my buttons down, my rockstar leather jacket and one of my beanies. I transformed myself, I looked in the mirror and my true self was staring back at me. "This is who you are" This is who I really am. I'm the most handsome boy ever. I took a quick pick and send it to my friend. She replayed: "What with that dude?" That dude. I was happy, so happy I had to explain to her it was ME and not a dude. But that happiness ended when my mum arrived and I had to dress my cover up again, I had to pretend to be the perfect femenin daughter. But now I have that pic, the one that screams who I really am and who I will be one of this days. This morning I woke up and I had to get changed for school. I go to this weird catholic nun's school (I dont know why if I am pagan), I stared at my uniform and I wished it was a boys uniform, but it wasn't. I grabbed one of my bras, the one that makes my boobs look bigger. I just had it in my hand and I stared at it. I didn't wanted to use it. And then I thought "And what if dont want to? None can force me to use it. None can stop me." Instead, I grabbed a deportive one that flattens my chest. I put my uniform on and it felt soooo good. I went downstairs to have breakfast, I was waiting for some comment from my mum, but she didnt say nothing, she probbably didnt noticed. When I got to school, same thing happened. I was feeling so happy! I felt weirdly masculin, even if I was wearing red lipsick and my hair was in a bun. I felt free, like I had escaped some prision I had been in my whole life. The illusion shattered when I saw miself in the mirror and the perfect girl stared back at me. I wish I had a magic wand that could make me look the way I wanted to and made people in my surroundings accept that, but there is not such wand, and I cant run before walking. I have to go one step at a time. I have to be patient. But it is ok, none can really stop me, and now I have the picture of who I want to be. The guy I will be one of this days. And as long as I dont forget that, everithing will be ok.

[deafinatlyafan]

My sides

I have been tagged by three people already so here it is!! @dan-yuna @killerfangirl3 and @analogically-prinxiety

Smarts (Ana): shes very intelligent. Loves learning and trying to teach others what she learns.

She’s not easily annoyed (*coughs* yes she is but she doesn’t admit that *cough* *cough*) but easily blushes.

(Ana: *blushing* why do you do this to me?! Me: because I’m mean. Okay not really, but seriously I will stop now. Ana: thank you! Me: and by now i mean for today. Ana: meh, it’s good enough for me!)

She isn’t easily angered (I’ve only seen her angry once), but will do whatever she can to protect others.

(Ana: i dont like being angry. It causes illogical thoughts and i just-sometimes i scare myself. Me: Wow, I’m sorry do you want a hug? Ana: nah, maybe later. Goofy probably wants hugs. Me: well i have enough to go around but if you dont want it thats totally cool.)

She loves dresses (especially bright colored ones) and wears them more than pants. (Ana: i don’t understand pants. They constrict your legs a bit. With dresses-or at least my dresses, they have more room to feel free.)

She is the one that holds the others back if they try to go overboard or comforts them if they need it.

(Ana: I just want to take care of them.)

Sports/Cayla: Loves sports (I mean she  Loves sports.)  She is very energetic. (Cayla: ugh, why did i get such a girly name? Me: because shut up you like it.)

No one is quite sure why I have a sports side so she feels useless, but shes a great dancer (shes better than me. How dare she. Yeah Cayla is blushing right now. Cayla: *blushing* no I'm not!!)

She will fight anyone she even ~thinks~ are attacking her friends. Has to be held back by Ana sometimes.

(Cayla: Dang right you should be scared of me. Me: I didnt say… never mind.)

She’s a tomboy and is a Total flirt.

(Cayla: am not! Ana: you asked a guy if he would talk flirty to you and then asked if he could- Me: (screaming and covers Goofy’s ears) Don’t Make Me or Goofy Relive That Horror!)

Absolutely Hates make up. And I mean Hates it.

she loves to dress tomboyantly, and loves to have her hair up in a bun (which makes Brianna happy unless she thinks it looks horrible.

Cayla: is tomboyantly even a word?

ME: i dunno

Ana: it is not. I would give a better word, but I'm having a *moves hands around trying to think of the word*  fog moment right now.)

Cayla is “easily” angered (not really, but she’s mad more than the others,) but will feel guilty if someone is scared of her while shes angry.

(Dont tell her but i secretly ship her and Ana together. Ana: oh, I know! Cayla: What did you say? Me and Ana: Nothing

Cayla: For someone who hates the word “nothing” you say that a lot.)

Richy/Brianna: (Yes she is mad i used her name in my “You are Loved” fic. I swear she is so much better than her.

Briama: mad?!?! Oh darling, I’m beyond mad!! Me: I said shes nothing like you!!)

Shes considered a bit of a … snob although I’m not sure why (she can be rude, but only when she feels the need to be or if shes very mad. If there is ever a time I’m rude to someone its ~usually~ her speaking-it would either be her or Sports.)

She is the best with fashion, although the others rarely listen to their fashion advice (especially Sports.) Ana and her sometimes bond over it though (I was surprised when I first found out but hey, whatever makes them happy!)

She at least never likes wearing plain shirts and Hates to not wear make up. (Brianan: I feel like a congradict you too many times Me: that's not true! We love helping others, and we love cute clothes! Brianna: yeah but your cute verses my cute are two different things. Me: well I love your style! Brianna:... I wish I could say the same to you.)

Brianna is The Best with money. I never listen to her though. (Brianna: you should probably do that more. Me: probably true Brianna: You’re not going to are you? Me: Nope.)

She hates the fact I dont wear make up but is pleased to see I’m starting to wear lip gloss. (Brianna: It’s a Huge step!!)

She has the best advice and the others love to go to her to talk about their problems.

(She will join Sports if they agree someone is hurting their friend.)

She is the best friend with Ana.

(Richy uses she/her pronouns but doesn’t care about gender.)

Goofy/Allison: loves kids shows and she relates well to Goofy from Disney (though thats not why we call her goofy), and she is so cute and funny. (Allison: *blushes* really?!)

She is jumpy and playful. Shes very shy but shes also extremely talkative. Shes my “inner child.” (Allision: is that a good thing or..? Me: its the best thing!!)

She gets along best with Sports but she knows how to chill back and cuddle. (Its her Favourite thing to do.

Allison: are you kidding?! Its the best! *blushes when she realizes she talked too loud.* sorry. Me: Its all good Alli! But yes, Snuggling is the best!!)

She giggles alot, and loves to tease people when shes comfortable enough with them. Shes very nervous around people and warms up quickly unless she feels uncomfortable or unsafe. (The others know to take her to her room and play with Moon sand if she feels overwhelmed.

Alli: Sand is the best!! sometimes it gets sticky if I play with it for too long, but it feels so soft and its so sparkly!!)

She wears bright colors usually, but loves to wear pajamas with Disney themes on them!

(Allison: I love our purple Eeyore pajama shorts! they’re so comfy and Eeyore is the best character!!)

Nightmare/ Violet: she-or they have been with me longer than I remeber.

They’re my “negative” or deep side. They chose the nickname “Nightmare” themself, but I don’t see how it’s like her. (Violet: Nightmare makes me sound tough, but I like Violet just as much. Me: fair enough.)

They are lazy and always tired. They hate doing anything outside the house (but will secretly enjoy the time out depending on situation, its very rare for them to like going out though so the others are often surprised if they says they like it. I'm pretty sure they likes going out more than I think.

Violet: not true. being in bed is enough for me... I do like snuggling with Goofy sometimes though. Me: That’s... That’s not going out. Voilet: Yeah but it requires socialising and I consider that going out of my comfort zone, therefore I'm “going out.”)

She is secretly a fan of kid sho-

(Violet: shut up or i will hide all your stuffed animals. Me:…ohs. violet: *sighs*)

Shes probably the most protective of Goofy. She will try to destroy anyone who makes her cry. (It takes Ana and Brianna to hold her back.)

She fights a lot with Cayla, but sometimes will do sports like badminton or swimming if she feels up for it. (Its not often, but once in a while. She mostly likes to tease cayla and sometimes it looks like flirting apparently. She’s an aromatic who is romance-repulses so i don’t ship her with anyone.

Violet: thanks Me: you dont need to thank me but no problem.)

Violet loves to wear dark purple clothes, and loves black.

(Violet: it’s cute!

Me: like me

Violet: rude!

Me: you look exactly like me Violet.

Violet: oh yeah, thank you then... I guess?)

the most insecure of the others, but would never admit it,

(Violet: because I'm not shut up.)

Well here are my sides!! let me know fi you want more information about them. I’ve literally had them as my (imaginary) friends years before I knew about Thomas so I know a bit about them.

I dare you, reader to do a sides, unless you don't want to, then that's coolio,

(I'm going to tag @sanders-sideblog because I think I have to tag at least one person anyways,) apparently I need to tag at least 4 so @starrykid

@prinxietyhell if you haven't done it and @prinxietys

[very-cherry]

Hey. Hi. Big fan. I don't watch half of the shows that you reblog, but your enthusiasm is quality. Um.. this is super personal, so I totally understand if you don't answer, but how did you realise you were nb?

omg im so sorry you have sat through my tags for this long, buddy you deserve better lmao. but no this is super okay to talk about, and ya its personal but im alright with it bc sometimes its nice to talk about?? like its a lot easier to explain over here rather than to my family (rip) but yeah i can get into it. um, itll be under the cut tho bc its a long answer, so if my other followers (or people who may get triggered) dont wanna read like ya theres that

the short answer: i realised last year, bc of everything that piled up and me finally finding the time to sit down and Think About It.

(tl;dr: at the bottom if youre not here for the Super Long answer)

the long answer: gender had never come easily to me as a kid, like i understood that girls played with dolls and that boys played with trucks. but i also was raised in a family where girls could play with trucks too, as long as they still looked like girls. so from the get go i had a v “tomboyish” look about me, and how i presented myself. i found i was v comfy with the tomboy label growing up, bc it meant i could play with the boys but still be sensitive and emotional while the boys werent allowed to feel like that

my biggest stepping stone tbh was (is) my mother. now if youve followed me for a while you probably know that while my mother loves me, and i suppose i love her (still up in the air), our relationship is v v v v Tense. this is due mostly to the fact that she has this preconceived notion of what the world looks like, and how people should act and present themselves. for her, to have me as a child saying “i wanna dress like a boy” “i wanna be a boy” was no biggie bc i was Just A Kid and would grow up to flourish into a beautiful young woman. which, for the most part, i did. but that doesnt mean i enjoyed it. from the age i was allowed to dress myself, my mother and i would fight about my clothing choices (and i literally mean fight. she would refuse to take me somewhere if i didnt dress the way she wanted. would throw my own clothes at me or on the road outside our house etc) and she would dub my clothes “too casual” and tell me to “dress up” and “look a bit more girly, please?” which i now know is totally Gross and not v nice, but at the time i didnt know any better, i hadnt grown into myself. this, alongside many years of condemnation in regards to my interests and hobbies and things i just enjoyed and wanted to talk about, just Didnt Add Up to my mother. she loved having two pretty daughters, pretty daughters who could wear dresses and live out the life she couldnt bc she fell pregnant with my older sister at 19, and thus had to grow up v quickly (no blame on my sister tho, shes my favourite person in the world and shes trying v hard to understand me and loves me v much)

fast forward a couple years: i was 15 when i first developed my eating disorder. quite frankly, it was only upon realising that im nb as to how i figured out what my ed was Actually About. i didnt like my curves. i didnt like being “girly”. i did constant misguided ab workouts and ate three rice cakes for lunch, followed by nothing but a banana until dinner. my sleep patterns were hit and miss bc i would either write away the pain or stay up wondering what this Thing i was feeling was (spoiler: it was dysphoria). i tried super hard to love my curves, to own myself and how i looked, but it never felt Right. i never understood. i would see my psychologist and ramble about my ed and she would pinpoint it and say it was curves and i would always just say “but its not”. bc it wasnt Just Curves, it was the idea as a whole. and it was v confusing and scary, so much like my exploration into my sexuality, i just put it off.

it was combating my ed that helped me most, i think. it was getting over it, and forcing myself back into a natural sleep pattern (so i could actually do year 12 without wrecking myself). i didnt get over it until around april 2016, which was when i fell in love with the idea of self love, and decided to give it a go. i listened to my psychologist, and she was v patient with me, and was cautious with where i placed my blame (”yes its your mothers fault for making you react and feel this way, her words hurt you. but youre the one that decides what to do with that negativity”) and it was so so so helpful. she taught me that i was deserving of love, and positivity, and that loving youself is a process, and it doesnt always work the way you want it to, but you need to find what makes you happy and keep doing that. for me, that tied into my food, my talents, my friends, and my actions. im not going to sit here and claim that fitness is key to happiness, but its part of whats key to mine (to the point that i have been inspired to become a personal trainer and teach other people that being “healthy” isnt just about food and exercise). each person has their own individual things that keep them balanced, and if yours is painting your nails instead of doing sit ups fucking go for it - just make sure you find that thing, because it gives you clarity.

my clarity hit me in the beginning of year 12, when i Sat Down and really had a think. i thought back to how i wanted to look growing up, how i wanted to act, i remembered the day i first had a proper bra bought for me instead of a crop top and the way i cried for hours that night without knowing why. i remember not wearing shirts to bed and then suddenly feeling awful when i started having to. i remembered trying to wear boxer shorts and nothing else around the house and being yelled at. i remembered telling my dad i wanted to look how he did when he was 18, and yelling at him when he said “but dont you want to be pretty like your mum”. i remembered my sister cutting my hair in the dead of night in her bedroom, bc i didnt want to look the way i did. i remembered wearing all these oversized clothes to hide my chest. being uncomfortable when anyone (family or stranger) would say “lady”, “girl”, “miss”, “female”. shrinking into myself when someone pointed out my curves. looking in thw mirror and only smiling when my hands were covering and pushing my chest. looking at the scale and not seeing anything other than a number that meant i was stuck being curved. refusing to go swimming bc it meant having to wear a bikini instead of just board shorts. wanting to play on the mens basketball team, wearing mens clothes, being mad when i suddenly couldnt wear them anymore. overcompensating by wearing midriffs and muscle shirts and short shorts and lacy underwear to impress my boyfriend(s) bc i was their GIRLfriend and this is what I Needed To Do. wearing clothes around my first girlfriend that i was really comfortable in, and her telling me that im still nb even if i have to wear a bra for now, and that she wouldnt ever take my shirt off or act as if my chest ever existed if thats what would keep me comfortable, and me nearly crying bc of how validating and overwhelming it was.

it all hit me at once, and i was struck with the blatant honesty of what this had been all along. id ignored it and shoved it down bc i didnt want to upset my mother, disappoint her. i didnt want to be what she never wanted. but then i remembered that i am deserving of love, even if its only ever from myself. 

so i told my best friend, and she was so wonderful with it, and she asked what pronouns i wanted to use from now on, and she helped me ease into shopping for clothes. and i bought a binder, and it fits v well and i fucking love it. and i told my other friends, and all the ones who matter are v supportive and beautiful (one even offered to make me a suit). and i told my two favourite cousins, and my sister, and they make sure to text me that i should stretch when i wear my binder, or to take deep breaths in case i forget to and its v homey and nice and they want me to be happy. and i blurted it out to my mother and she fucking hates it, and shes threatened to “burn” my binder if she ever sees it, to “rip it off [my] body” if i ever wear it in front of her, that she wants “nothing to do with It” and that “its a fucked up idea” someone has “put into my head”. but you know what? thats okay, bc i Know who i am now. and sometimes things dont always go how you want, and sometimes the people who love you most cant love all of you, and i want you guys to know that if that ever happens, youre not obligated to love them back, okay? love yourself, love those who love All Of You.

tl;dr: years of dysphoria piled onto me when i had a hot ten minutes to fully think about it in between classes.