#dont want to look at it anymore even though its not good. what freaking ever guys

[beifonne]

three best friends ❄🦚🌬

[weebsinstash]

Omega Reader being one of the only if not THE only Omega in an entire Spider Society of Alphas and Betas 😩❤️

Alpha F! Reader in a Spider Society where you're the only female Alpha and Miguel is Having Confusing Feelings because oh shit you can get him Pregnant Pregnant? Like you're packing? Hmmm.... 😳

Reader who is a normal human and doesn't understand or is maybe like "curiosity killed the cat" about "oh wow Miguel can purr and growl? What else can he do 😳" and you're totally unaware he can like, TELL when you're ovulating and you cant even tell when he or anyone else scents you (imagine hobie scenting you to piss miguel off lmao) 💦

Reader who is one of the very few Omega in a Spider Society of normal people but your pheromones actually still affect everyone lol so like yeah some people are yandere already and others are like "you know i dont know what it is but Reader is looking real submissive and breedable and im usually not even into that shit" 😏

Reader being a "late bloomer" where you thought you were like, a normie who didnt present, and you're suddenly struggling to function because all these people you've been bonding with suddenly all have special smells that make your knees wobble sometimes and occasionally your boss gets a little bit of a growl in his voice and you're suddenly thinking, "could I fuck him raw and just take plan b. I really want an extra large super sized buffet style creampie from this man" (and also angst/possessiveness because maybe you're really upset and want to go back to "being the old normal you" and you start avoiding people who mysteriously want to spend more time with you now more than ever, and I'm also a sucker for 'new Omega wants actual surgery or drugs to not be an Omega anymore even if it's blackmarket shit that could kill them') 🙏

I'm also a fan of like. "You burned me or deserted me or I quit the group we were in together because of how you treated me and after some time has passed now that you want me back I'm actually a single mom now and here's my cute adorable little baby that I won't let you even sniff at even though the dad isn't even in the picture"

Like I'm not a parent obviously but there's some real visceral horror in the concept of like being pregnant and you're surrounded by people like unreasonably obsessed with the fact you're pregnant, like to an extremely nosey controlling "all but hijack your life" degree. You put your baby down for a nap and go to check on then 5 minutes later and they're FUCKING GONE and you start absolutely losing your mind and its like "oh no it's fine, Peter B just felt entitled to break into your place because he wanted Mayday to meet her new sibling and spend time with their Uncle Peter"

Reader is in their home dimension maybe even refusing to be a Spider anymore and you've STILL got people CONSTANTLY literally warping to your location and robbing you of any and all privacy. You get woken up in the middle of the night by your baby crying and suddenly abruptly it stops and you turn around PANICKED and. There's Miguel bottle feeding them "because you've been so tired, let me help you 🥰" and you're freaking out because, one, Miguel what are you doing in my bedroom, and two, is he giving your baby fucking formula instead of your milk without your consent. Like. They're constantly touching your kid and borderline kidnapping them and they're just like "oh my gosh look how flustered you are, what a good protective mom 🥰" meanwhile you're contemplating actual fucking murder

[stxrmylxve]

Hi!

One of your big fans here.

I love your writing style 💜

May I ask what would be your take for TR guys confessions? Like they would know they are in love and come to terms with it and they would decide to confess to their s/o.

Thank you for considering my request :)

aww baby hi!! im so glad you like my stuff <33 ofc i can! i live for these confessions :)

Mikey:

wouldn’t ever come to terms with it

he thinks he just likes your company

its draken that has to tell him

once he gets it through his head, he blushes every time he sees you

bro is a tomato when he sees you though-

has no clue how to confess

like.. at all

”y/n i like you.”

that’s it, that’s all you get

you can’t help but giggle as he stands there confused

”is that good?” he asks draken as the man shakes his head

”sure mikey, sure.”

Draken:

much more mature so he immediately recognized his feelings

has a hard time confessing though

constant thoughts flood his mind

is that cheesy? do you want gifts? will it be awkward?

so worried over nothing

buys big flowers and all, dresses up, looks handsome and all

and you simply say “you kno, i dont need all these gifts”

he stands there in awe as you give him a small peck with a giggle

you take the flowers and hold your hand out, taking his into yours as you both walk together

he wasn’t leading this anymore, it was all you

Mitsuya:

the ultimate package

mature enough to realize he has feelings AND knows how to confess

it helps having sisters i guess

abnormally calm around you

internally he is freaking out, don’t lie

”y/n.” he says, breaking you out of your studying trance as you looked up

before you could even answer, he pushes the hair away from your eyes with a soft smile

”i like you. i’ve liked you for a while. would you be interested in going on a date with me?”

you’re done. nope.

fall over red as he peers over at you with a laugh

he’s just so.. AHH dreamy

Chifuyu:

okay so here’s the funny thing

you fell for him first

you hid it though, worried he would not like you as a friend and you hated to loose the great friendship you had with him and baji

but when he formed a liking?

ho ho ho that was a game changer

he was a whole nother person around you

“baji.. is he okay?” you asked

“y/n are you an idiot? he likes you” baji says with a desdpanned look

”baji-san! i wanted to tell them!”

Baji:

he’s like a cat

if he likes you, expect him all over you

not in a nsfw way LOL

He just loves you sm

loves affection too omg

the best cuddles 24/7

buys you little gifts

he never actually confessed himself lol

it was just so natural and then it just like… happened

one minute he had his face tucked into your tummy the next you two were kissing

but he got you so it’s a win-win

Hanma:

“kisaki~ where is y/n?” hanma asks as he leans back in his chair

”in her office-“

”alright cya later”

loves visiting you

always comes in, whether you’re talking with someone or not, with a goofy smile

”baby!” he comes in, completely ignoring the other co-worker as he slung his lanky arms around you

”hanma, someone is in here right now. can you give me a few minutes? just sit on the couch over there please”

he sits there with a pout on his face as he glares daggers into the back of the other persons’s skull

once they leave, he is all over you again

places a few kisses on your neck, temple, all over your face as you laugh

”you know, people might think that we’re a couple, hanma”

”then let’s be one.”

Izana:

has no good understanding about true love

kakucho has to quiz him in order to get to the bottom of his feelings for him

”izana, you like them.”

”what?? no way, i just think of them as a cute friend.”

”there’s no such think, you like them.”

”no!”

”yes, you do.”

awkward from that point on with you

”everything alright izana?”

you were met with silence as you paused the massage on his shoulders, allowing him to fall back into your chest

”kaku says i like you. but i just think you’re cute… is that the same thing?”

you give him a soft smile and place a small peck on his nose as you nod

”yes, it’s the same thing silly”

Takemichi:

“i- well- i guess. do I? Chifuyu… do i?!”

full on panics

what if you dont like him back?

what if you think he is a crybaby?

what if you think of him only as a friend?

what if…

”takemichi, it’s fine. I can set you up, just give her the note and run!” chifuyu says with a devious smile as takemichi gulps

in the end, he fails, forgets the note, and end up stammering over his words like a child

”i.. uhm.. y/n..”

forgets his words completely

”takemichi, look at me and say it.” you say softly

he meets your warm gaze, suddenly gaining all the confidence he needed

”y/n i like you!” he says with a unnecessary bow

“stand up silly, no need to be so formal.”

Shinichiro:

total daddy

ANYWAYS

knows what he’s doing

he’s sadly done this before with other people, all of which either cheated on him or left him alone and hurt

he thinks you’re just… different

you give the vibe that no matter what, even if it needed to be ended, you would be hurt too

”uhm.. y/n can we talk?” he says, alerting you as you turned around to meet his shy gaze

”what’s up?” you ask, setting down your things

“what would you do, theoretically, if i said i liked you..?” he says fidgeting with his fingers

“is that a confession?” you challenge with a smile

”depends” he says, joining your smile with a grin of his own

“then i would say yes, theoretically of course.”

[smileymoth]

Im being mentally ill sorry chat

I need to kill myself at this point because I'm never going to get better in any way shape or form. I cant eat healthy because I get fucking weird about it. And I'd be okay with it because frankly I don't care if I make myself sick but at the same time I'm scared I'll die at 40 from heart failure because starvation kills your organs and your heart. But I'd not eat healthy in the first place so would it even matter. I hate that I can't say that I wish I was skinny because that means I'm scum of the earth bc i hate fat people even though I dont I just hate myself and everything to do with me because I'll never be enough for myself because I have crippling dysmorphia that makes me want to kill myself. I can'tlook at myself in the mirror i cant look at photos of myself because i hate my body so bad but i cant change it because i keep fucking eating i need to stop fucking eating i need to start counting calories again if i ever want to be skinny and get surgey god its such a long way to go to be skinny i wish i was underweight i wish i hhadnt gained 25kilos over the span of 3 years i need to kill myself because its all my fault its my fault i cant eat or work out properly or be healthy about it because im too depressed to cook for myself and im addicted to sugar and i have no energy or motivation to do things ever. What if its my fuckibg meds that raise my weight so much what if i went off them what if i stop taking them and eventually kill myself because being dead is bettef than being fat right thats what rhe doctors probably want you to beliebe. I look soooo normal on the outside im like smiling and laughing and i looknormal and happy to other people because i have nothing to prove to them for me beung sick beside them knowing i take meds and me joking about being suicidal. I dont have lost weight nor any scars to show them . God i wish i had the courage to cut my arm up so bad i had to get stitches but i cant because i lovr my mom and my mom loves me toi much and i dont want to worry her i already am terrifued of her seeing the small scars on my thighs . I cant even tell if cutting helps because it gives a nice adrenaline rush but then itd over and i feel guilty bc itll leavw scars that people can see i wish people didnt care aboyt scars i wish they healed and disappeared faster so i wouldnt havw to hide them but i also want them to see because i feel like its the only way i could prove to them that im ill and not just joking about it. I need to starve mtself and get skinny because theb maybe someobe will tell me im pretty because ill finally wear pretty clothes and i need to get rid of my tits and i need ro lose the weight for that abd im so scared i wont be able to . Its only 10 kilos it shouldnt be so scary to lose but i lost 5 in dec/january so before i even went to thw gym and now ibe lost nothing in 2 montjs and its so scary i hatw it i hate that im mentally il i hate that ik not ill enough for anyone to care . Im so pathetic it hurts really i need to kill myself but i cant because of my mom and it sucks . Im never going to get better and im never going to feel pretty enough or good enough in my life im always going to feel like a failure so why am i even trying anymore . I want to die but i dont i just want to be happy but i cant do that so i want to kill myself instead but i cant kill myself soim just stuck in this limbo of wishing i was a better person that im never going to be. I wish i had the self control to just not fucking eatif i cant make proper healthy food for myself i dont deserve it i dont deserve good thibgs i need to get beat up on the street by someone i dont deserve good rhings because i havent earned them im always gking to be a little freak thafs not enough for herself or the world because shes a depressed fat probably autistic freak whose only wish is to be happy and find love that i wont get becayse i cant talk to people. I also need to stop posting my mental breakdowns on tumnlr bc its not helping anyone but here we are. Im not a good person am i

[bingobongobonko]

4 hour sleep gang but sooo worth it.. lancer rpg. blinks wildly. im. 3-session long bossfight, fucking INSANE. hardest fucking fight we've ever dealt with, surrounded by webs of bombs and mines, and the Fool is a literal stand user and she fucking summoned it to kick our asses. actual hell on earth.

became this at some fucking point 😭 EVERYONE WAS SO FUCKING TIRED OF HERRRRRRRRR SHE WAS DOING SOME MIND GAMES SHIT WITH INVISIBLE MINES ANDIT WAS GRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOURE DONE!!!!! YOURE OVER! such a good fucking battle though, albeit.. [TREASURE] and kuruushi got really fucked up throughout, im pretty sure more than half of us structured at some point. i fended off a bit better cuz i kept a distance, since my balor's a long distance mf. i love my superheavies. but yeah it was. bad. because even after we kill her stand basically, she's still puttin up mines and shit, and we realize. Oh we have to do a systems check.. we have to see the mines. and WOW its bad. its bad. we're completely and utterly surrounded. one fucking step in any direction, and either the Fool or [TREASURE] is getting blown to BITS. so we're freaking out... eventually though, [TREASURE]'s got rapid jet system or summat like dat, and he fucking bolts the shit out of there, but he's STILL NOT SAFE!!! BECAUSE SHE KEEPS TARGETING HIM.. THOUGH now she realizes the mines aren't gonna work (except on kuru, who at this point has exploded on those mines and structured like 30437498494 times now... it was miserable), so she hops out of the mines and right into us and we're like AHA YOU ARE SO SURROUNDED. AND WE DO. for [TREASURE] unfortunately, she's permainvisible and so a GOOD portion, if not all of his hits, don't land :( shitty fuckin rolls, it happens though tbh. im able to get a shot in at her regardless of missing, cuz cyclone has reliability tag of 5, and tellius basically grabs a spear and forces it into her mech, making her immobile and slowed. and THEN, i ram right into her mech and slam it into a nearby pylon, and force her prone. we're all fucking dogpiling her - but then we realize, thats WHAT she wants, because she grabs her grenade launcher and points it at the ground beneath all of us, knocking back the party a good amount and im pretty sure someone NEARLY structured from that. i dont get pushback thankfully, but im not the one who does the killing blow either. tellius rams himself back into the fight and fucking grabs his drills and forces it right into where he thinks the cockpit is, and lo and behold, there is a gaping hole in the thing. and it just keels over. and in the rubble and the dust thrown about, she's still alive. she's crawling out her mech pit, barely alive, bleeding from her midsection. this is *new.* we. won? i guess. the party, particularly skink and tellius get their words in, i know it gets revealed where the people who fucked telly over are, so thats OUGHG. thats. not good is it....... we will see.. but. the fool looks up at yves and is like. "Well? What are you waiting for? Do it." and yves does not need to be asked twice. he crushes and mangles her body under the heel of his mech, like he's killing a bug. and he.. doesn't feel anything. it's not satisfying. at all. and god it makes me so sad. when all of it is said and done, [TREASURE] picks up the parts of whats left of her, and just. holds them gingerly. it barely looks like anything. its so fucked. ooc i feel so bad abt it.. we really could have saved her. if we wanted to. we could have. but i know yves wouldn't let that happen. he has no reason to. yk. the military comes in, and they just kinda cat_blink.gif at us cuz like. ermmm are you guys okay lol. No. Not really. and the party's tryin to ease the tension, and make jokes and shit, but yves is like. Shut the Fuck Up. Shut the Fuck Up. and getting riled up and upset, because he just. doesn't feel anything. and its not funny anymore. none of this is funny. and elias kinda pipes in from the back like... hey man maybe we should calm down. yk? and i wont lie to you, yves's first instinct was to start screaming and kicking his cockpit, but realizing it's elias saying this, its kinda like. You Know. and they have a whole scene and... oh :(. well. yeah. i. well. yeah. its bittersweet. he's able to calm yves down, and it's just. really sweet.

im like.

its fucking over man. hes not wrong. but also, like i was telling flore, yves is a ticking time bomb, and the fear far outweighs anything but at this very moment, its fine. its fine. he's not wrong. shit is changing. it has to mean something. even if its doing this forever and ever and ever and ever. and dont get me wrong, he loves elias a lot, but he CAN'T do this forever. not anything personal with elias, elias is. more than he ever thought he could have, just. vague hand moments. all of this. if he could get away from all of this with just elias, he would. he'll do this forever if thats whats gonna happen, but it's not preferred, even having elias there. thats the bitter part. you can love someone, but it doesnt change the horrors. but the love makes it easier. if anything. yeah. nothing changes, the horror is still lingering, but the love is there

[pesterass]

twistedEcclesiastic [TE] began trolling tawdryCaricaturist [TC]

TE: I aM herE ouT oF purE fuckinG desperatioN. I aM minD-fuckinG fuckinglY fuckinG BOREd TE: mY matespriT iS DEAd oR likE probablY sleepinG anD I donT reallY talK tO anythinG elsE?? TE: anD yourE A faT stupiD fuckinG punchinG baG anD thatS FUn. NYEHEHEHEH TC: aww im really that entertaining to you? : P TC: i thought you had lots of other troll friends karmis! what happened?? TE: dO yoU havE dementiA?? wheN diD I eveR saY I havE trolL friendS I fuckinG HATe EVERYONe TC: well they all seem to know about you! i just figured you were all friends : ) TC: so if your lying your not really doing a good job of it right now : P TE: thatS jusT becausE I makE enemieS whereveR I gO NYEHEHEHEH TE: fucK thA haterS TC: haha true : ) TC: arent you a hater though? TC: just like in general TE: yeaH duH. fucK mE fucK yoU I donT givE A shiT! NYEH TE: whateveR. I donT carE foR labelS TC: thats cool me neither : ) TC: your friends are cool though i think you should hate on them a little less TE: ugH fucK WHo arE yoU EVEn TALKINg ABOUt???!!!! TC: ummm TC: well i met rozzie the robot and the guy that built him TC: he made it sound like your friends with him : ) TC: unless he was lying? TC: i dunno he sounded kind of tricky TE: STOp TYPINg!!! TC: WHAT? TE: STOp TE: rozziE iS NOt mY "frienD". fuckinG perioD! enD oF storY!! TE: itS A triggeR happY psychopathiC littlE freaK anD thaT nerD lukE needS tO keeP iT oN A leasH TC: his name is luke? TC: you guys are aliens and one of you is named luke? TE: welL youR namE iS ryaN. NYEHEHEH TE: hiS namE iS lukeiS anywayS TC: luke is what? TE: lukeiS TC: oh thats his name? TC: how do you even pronouns that TE: whaT iS fuckinG wronG witH yoU arE yoU actuallY braiN damageD? TC: no im actually normal!! sheesh TC: anyways LUKEIS (still weird) says that hes your best friend : ) TC: trust me! TE: whaT fuckinG eveR? I donT reallY carE TC: are you sure? TE: arE yoU stupid? TC: i dunno! TC: you came to me for entertainment so you dont get to complain TC: dummy TC: hey so whats a matesprit? is that another weird word your going to make fun of me for not knowing about TE: yeS iT iS! NYEH. lonelY loseR dickwaD TE: alsO I donT knoW whaT itS likE oN youR stupiD planeT buT oN ourS wE havE A littlE thinG calleD freedoM oF insultS sO I caN complaiN alL I wanT TC: yeah i guess we have something like that! its called bullying TE: "meeeH meeH meeH mY namE iS wayaN yourE bullyinG mE becausE iM sO stupiD anD I donT eveN knoW whaT A matespriT iS oR probablY eveN hoW tO spelL halF thE alphabeT meeH meeH" TC: i didnt say that! TE: yeS yoU diD looK yoU jusT diD, weirdO TC: how come your allowed to complain but im not? thats kind of stupid TC: if your going to try to be mean you might as well be fair about it! >: P TE: therE yoU fuckinG gO agaiN beinG thE mosT stupiD persoN iN thE fuckinG universE. itS likE yourE ADDICTED TE: I neveR eveR saiD yoU couldnT complaiN itS jusT youR complaintS arE 1.stupiD 2.dumB 3.bullshiT 4.pathetiC(verY) 5.donT matteR. NYEH TE: NYEHEHEH TC: i guess but you complain about EVERYTHING TC: literally every single little thing TC: i think that makes your complaints even more pointless TC: i dont really take you seriously anymore : P TE: diD I asK yoU thougH? TE: XP TC: hehehe TE: yoU caN takE mE seriouslY oR noT, aS lonG aS yourE stilL A stupiD nobodY I wiN X) TE: yoU arE fuckinG dirT undeR mY cooL shoeS, PATHETIc TE: NYEHEHEHEH TC: suuuuure karmis : P TE: lalalalalalalA I canT heaR yoU TC: yeah you can : ) TE: whaT? TC: okay if you cant here me then i guess you wont react to me calling you a STUPID JERK TC: karmis smells like AAAAAAAAAAASS!!! >: D TE: nyeH TE: NYEHEHEHEHEHEH TE: NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH X) TC: nyehehe! >: P TE: heY thatS My THINg TWERp TC: SEE you heard me : D

twistedEcclesiastic [TE] ceased trolling tawdryCaricaturist [TC]

[blazingstarship]

Free gush pass, talk about Yusei >:33

OH MY RA TH-THANKS💖💖

Okay I just jwjdkekmd gonna typ and just see what happen. Prepare for a novel…

Lets see him yeah Yusei, just like the meaning behind is name like it got explained in the series too and think is need. Also he smart like so smart and sometimes Im like he super smart I kinda feel dumb next to him tho he just put it like “Hey you are smart! Im just a nerd.” And he knows that will put a smile on my face as he continued that everyone is smart in their own way and he is proud of what I have accomplished.

Uhmm blue. Gosh I love this blue shirt of him like so freaking much like bless bless they give him this shirt its my favorite fancy shirt to see him in and he knows how much I like blue. Tho its not “physical impossible” I love blue roses, lots like so much with as second peony’s and galaxy petunia’s (they remind me of yusei’s eyes). Tho every flower Yus gets me makes me swoon but one day he offered me a red rose. I was such a confused mess he never gave a red one ever. “Well red ones stands for love and I though it was the perfect time to give you one.” What a cute baka.

Talking about blue. I just uhm oh I try not to get into vent but like ever compared a duel monster which will suit yourself? Well Yusei tried to be funny when I asked what duel monster I reminded him of (hoping for a powerful nice monster, idk maybe Stardust high hopes hehe). He just answered winged kuriboh….”Why?”

Cause my bed hair reminded him of a kuriboh and to be a little sappy just “and the wings cause of your *pidge days back in satellite.”

*a pidge was a person to bring the illegal goods people request to get outside satellite.

Great I was the Judai 2.0 (no offense Judai is my spirit animal) but he could have said “like Silver Midnight or spark like Solar Blaze…” oh yeah the living dream. Kuri kuri. Cant complain to the guy cause his life line is “there is no useless card”…

“You asked me what card reminded me of you and it was Winged Kuriboh.”

“Yeah…so?”

“You never asked what card value me of you.”

“Is there a difference in that?”

“Yes. Cause you mean to me as much as Stardust Dragon. You are like the Blue Eyes White Dragon to me, you are three in a thousands, millions of cards.”

“Omg Yus…thats so cheesy.”

“Yeah but you love it.”

“Im a mess right now. Im the winged kuriboh worth like a blue eyes white dragon. I cant stop smiling.”

“Now Im curious, what monster do I remind you of?”

“Oh easy. Junk Kuriboh. Kuri Kuri.”

“Arent you hilarious.”

“But with the heart of a warrior. So kinda Kuriboh the Junk Warrior.”

“You just made that up.”

“Yes! Means you are ultra rare cause no one has the card.”

“Sappy.”

“You are my tuff warrior.”

You know what else is cute? Yusei trying to pronounce words in my language gosh thats so darn cute. (I was the first one who said “I love you”…in dutch…cause I didnt want him to know cause it was really early and the moment felt like that and I started saying it anytime I left him as a secret reminder he is loved…without him actual knowing what I said.)

When he found out what I was saying all this time he was “So any time we said goodbye, any time we aparted or on the phone…you said you love me!?”

“….yes?”

He was a mess. He uhm couldn’t speak or even look at me for minutes.

“Ya okay?”

“I am trying to remember when you started saying it.”

“Two months after our date at the parking tower…on a thuesday…you worked on the new module for the WRGP…I had picked up me the repaired laptop for school…it was before Marco picked up the parts that werent usefull anymore for the prototype engine…”

“That long ago!?”

“I guess so.”

“Ik hou van jou.”

“YUSEI! Dont say that so suddenly!”

“You think I haven’t practiced?”

What more what more.

I have some cheesy petnames I like to call Yusei in a loving mood like Yubear. I love plushies, snuggled and with plushies you can snuggle. So a teddybear and Yusei….Yubear💖 I love hug him and snuggle up to him and just get so relaxed if he let me. Another petname is Moppie💖 Moppie is just a dutch version of bae or honey or sweety…but specially Moppie cause of his mop of hair, when I ruff it and kiss him on his cheek and call him my sweet Moppie💖 also babe…cause hes a babe💖

[morbidlittlebitch]

So i started applying at some places recently..not because i feel like i CAN return to work again but out of fear. Ive been freaking out because i got a notice that they were reviewing my ssdi benefits to see if i can still keep them or not but they wont tell me how long it will be until i am notified of their decision. Which is not fucking fair, because if they suddenly decide to cut off my only source of income wtf am i supposed to do??

Anyway i was mostly trying to apply at stay at home jobs because of my severe social anxiety, its so bad i rarely ever leave my home and if i do i get easily overwhelmed and over-stimulated. However i decided to apply at a few other jobs. I got a call back for a housekeeping position in a facility... its full time and id be making good $. I love to clean too so thats a plus. I felt hopeful at first about the financial part of it.. i wiouldnt be broke all the time anymore and id be more financially stable and independant and i could finally afford to save up for the things i really need. I managed to go to the interview (though i was super nervous and my hands were fucking shaking the entire time) and the guy really wants to hire me. I just basically have to pass a drug test which im.not sure if i can even pass because i ate an edible like 2 weeks ago.

So i should be happy about all of this, right? I was at first, but now i just feel super depressed about it and scared. I dont feel like im really ready to go back to work again and be around others especially not at fulltime hours. Im only doing this 1 because im worried my benefits will be cut off and 2 because my partner is pushing me to do it. Plus i know her and her mom always think of me as being lazy and simply using my illnesses as an excuse not to work. But what if i try to do this and it turns out i cant? What if i fuck it up and then they take my benefits away because they see i can work again? And then i have to try and work hard and fight tooth an nail all over again just to try and get them back and thatll take fucking months. But i feel like if i dont try to do this her and her mom will be mad at me or look down me for it. Also what if they cut them off anyway and i have nothing? Idk what to fucking do but i dont know if i can even do this :(

Like idk it just seems like no one ever listens to me or believes me or cares about whats best for me. Like the people around me expect me to just be able to do things like everyone else can and that my illnesses are just over-exaggerated or not even real.

[burnerblog333332]

twistedEcclesiastic [TE] began trolling tawdryCaricaturist [TC]

TE: I aM herE ouT oF purE fuckinG desperatioN. I aM minD-fuckinG fuckinglY fuckinG BOREd TE: mY matespriT iS DEAd oR likE probablY sleepinG anD I donT reallY talK tO anythinG elsE?? TE: anD yourE A faT stupiD fuckinG punchinG baG anD thatS FUn. NYEHEHEHEH TC: aww im really that entertaining to you? : P TC: i thought you had lots of other troll friends karmis! what happened?? TE: dO yoU havE dementiA?? wheN diD I eveR saY I havE trolL friendS I fuckinG HATe EVERYONe TC: well they all seem to know about you! i just figured you were all friends : ) TC: so if your lying your not really doing a good job of it right now : P TE: thatS jusT becausE I makE enemieS whereveR I gO NYEHEHEHEH TE: fucK thA haterS TC: haha true : ) TC: arent you a hater though? TC: just like in general TE: yeaH duH. fucK mE fucK yoU I donT givE A shiT! NYEH TE: whateveR. I donT carE foR labelS TC: thats cool me neither : ) TC: your friends are cool though i think you should hate on them a little less TE: ugH fucK WHo arE yoU EVEn TALKINg ABOUt???!!!! TC: ummm TC: well i met rozzie the robot and the guy that built him TC: he made it sound like your friends with him : ) TC: unless he was lying? TC: i dunno he sounded kind of tricky TE: STOp TYPINg!!! TE: STOp TC: WHAT? TE: rozziE iS NOt mY "frienD". fuckinG perioD! enD oF storY!! TE: itS A triggeR happY psychopathiC littlE freaK anD thaT nerD lukE needS tO keeP iT oN A leasH TC: his name is luke? TC: you guys are aliens and one of you is named luke? TE: welL youR namE iS ryaN. NYEHEHEH TE: hiS namE iS lukeiS anywayS TC: luke is what? TE: lukeiS TC: oh thats his name? TC: how do you even pronouns that TE: whaT iS fuckinG wronG witH yoU arE yoU actuallY braiN damageD? TC: no im actually normal!! sheesh TC: anyways LUKEIS (still weird) says that hes your best friend : ) TC: trust me! TE: whaT fuckinG eveR? I donT reallY carE TC: are you sure? TE: arE yoU stupid? TC: i dunno! TC: you came to me for entertainment so you dont get to complain TC: dummy TC: hey so whats a matesprit? is that another weird word your going to make fun of me for not knowing about TE: yeS iT iS! NYEH. lonelY loseR dickwaD TE: alsO I donT knoW whaT itS likE oN youR stupiD planeT buT oN ourS wE havE A littlE thinG calleD freedoM oF insultS sO I caN complaiN alL I wanT TC: yeah i guess we have something like that! its called bullying

TE: "meeeH meeH meeH mY namE iS wayaN yourE bullyinG mE becausE iM sO stupiD anD I donT eveN knoW whaT A matespriT iS oR probablY eveN hoW tO spelL halF thE alphabeT meeH meeH" TC: i didnt say that! TE: yeS yoU diD looK yoU jusT diD, weirdO TC: how come your allowed to complain but im not? thats kind of stupid TC: if your going to try to be mean you might as well be fair about it! >: P TE: therE yoU fuckinG gO agaiN beinG thE mosT stupiD persoN iN thE fuckinG universE. itS likE yourE ADDICTED TE: I neveR eveR saiD yoU couldnT complaiN itS jusT youR complaintS arE 1.stupiD 2.dumB 3.bullshiT 4.pathetiC(verY) 5.donT matteR. NYEH TE: NYEHEHEH TC: i guess but you complain about EVERYTHING TC: literally every single little thing TC: i think that makes your complaints even more pointless TC: i dont really take you seriously anymore : P TE: diD I asK yoU thougH? TE: XP TC: hehehe TE: yoU caN takE mE seriouslY oR noT, aS lonG aS yourE stilL A stupiD nobodY I wiN X) TE: yoU arE fuckinG dirT undeR mY cooL shoeS, PATHETIc TE: NYEHEHEHEH TC: suuuuure karmis : P TE: lalalalalalalA I canT heaR yoU TC: yeah you can : ) TE: whaT? TC: okay if you cant here me then i guess you wont react to me calling you a STUPID JERK TC: karmis smells like AAAAAAAAAAASS!!! >: D TE: nyeH TE: NYEHEHEHEHEHEH TE: NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEH X) TC: nyehehe! >: P TE: heY thatS My THINg TWERp TC: SEE you heard me : D

twistedEcclesiastic [TE] ceased trolling tawdryCaricaturist [TC]

[catamaurrr-star]

maur's super duper awesome list of all his ocs!!! celebrate!!!(longish)

PLEASE ask me about my ocs PLEASSEEEEEE (explanation for the world [number] thing here)

my favorite 3 little guys (world 1)

name: umbra chrono age: 23 pronouns: he/they info: my favorite oc (dont tell the others).... time travelling catman who really misses his parents and is having a horrible time at college. is tormented by sadness every now and then BUT he's also good friends with maur and gude so that helps. oh yeah also haunted by the narrative i guess fun little fact: he's a siamese ragdoll!! he dyes his hair black though to try and hide that. this doesnt work as he has the brightest bluest eyes on the planet

name: MAUR !!!!!!! age: 15 pronouns: he/she info: technically not my sona. but they do look VERY similar. anyways so this guy can turn into a cat whenever he wants and was raised in apocalyptic warzone australia (just go with it) but escaped on a boat onto the rest of the world and now steals from places as a homeless stray cat. he likes to annoy umbra as often as possible and steal food from him when he's not looking fun little fact: his eyes light up REALLY FUCKING BRIGHT in the dark. like led lights

name: gude normal age: 19 pronouns: they (but he and she are also accepted. they mainly preferred though) info: most mentally stable oc. they're half elf and they only got the ears from their dad. they love monster hunter and its their favorite thing in the entire world. oh yeah their brother is also kind of a god. OH YEAH ALSO they have a Power!!!! they can make chair arms out of nothing. there is no limit to these chair arms but it gets more and more physically draining to have too many of them for too long. they can disappear whenever gude likes fun little fact: they only wear shorts. not a single set of pants. also striped shirts or tshirts with really stupid designs on them that they thought were funny.

name: jimmy falenhardt age: 10 pronouns: he/him (he;s a cis girl though) info: other most mentally stable oc. he's just a little guy who likes doing postal service and is OBSESSED with cats. like he brings cat food and cat treats with him everywhere. he's very very silly and makes cat puns at every single opportunity he gets. other than that he's very adventurous and a little bit cocky. fun little fact: he picked his own name. he didnt even have a name beforehand everyone just politely referred to him as The Child

name: iron age: ???? pronouns: any info: no one knows what their deal is. no one knows where he came from but apparently she's australian. they rarely ever talk and when he does its the most ominous confusing or just frankly bizarre shit ever. she has So Many scars its crazy. resident little freak fun little fact: yes they look like that in canon too. bright pink hair and paper white skin. so much wrong with her ❤️

genshin ocs time

name: pyre (not his real name) age: mid to late 50s pronouns: he/him info: sumeru pyro claymore 5 star. somewhat possessed by a flower and lives in the sumeru desert. used to have a wife and a kid but his wife died in a sandstorm and he got separated from his kid and doesn't remember either of them anymore. due to the flower possessing him. he just kills people now and is the #1 enemy of cyno fun little fact: at some point he gets free from the flower and has to deal with The Horrors of losing like. 20ish years of your life

name: qamar (no last name idk) age: late 20s pronouns: she/they info: sumeru/mondstadt anemo sword 4 star. got separated from her family by a sandstorm basically wiping out her home in the sumeru desert and she got lost and adopted by rhinedottir who happened to be in the area. grew up with albedo and is on a mission to find out what happened to her family and friends and if all of them truly died or not. also mentors sucrose sometimes and is unintentionally Very Mean fun little fact: she REALLY likes dragonflies. there are several dragonfly motifs on her design (if i actually ever draw it ...)

name: FELIX!!!!!!! age: 40ish pronouns: she/her info: fontaine pyro catalyst 5 star. was part of an ancient race that died out and is basically the last of her species. performs as a popular actress in the opera epiclese for plays and stuff and works with lyney sometimes but SURPRISE!! she's also an UNDERCOVER REBEL!!! she goes by the name "Rouge Résistance" while trying to show all the cracks and flaws in the fontainian justice system by graffiti and stealing stuff to give out to others later . and also arson. kinda like robin hood but with fire fun little fact: her weapon? these fucking hands

AUs OF THE GUYS ABOVE

au name: christian!maur (i thought it was funny) info: was adopted by the church after escaping australia and is now a tyrannical pope at age 15... very insane everyone hates him. somewhat of an infamous celebrity fun little fact: originally i made him (and emo umbra) as just maur and umbra in different outfits but then i gave them different persoanlities and origins and boom!! different characters

au name: emo!umbra (technically not emo?) info: after his parents mysteriously disappeared he went on the internet . and got ruined forever because of it. now hes a really fucking mean nihilist who's generally draining to be around and one day wants to burn down the entire world fun little fact: he and christian!maur DESPISE each other and will go out of their way to annoy each other at every single opportunity. not in the friendly way either they genuinely hate each other

au name: time god!umbra (usually shortened to tg!umbra) info: basically just works for the higher time gods in the world. makes sure everything in time goes well and can vaguely control it. also doesn't follow linear time it's kinda wild. doesn't follow the normal umbra lore either he was just made like this and he just has to accept it fun little fact: he does get paid. just not a lot though. like very little payment for his work

au name: space god!maur (usually shortened to sg!maur) info: like tg!umbra, he works for the higher space gods and he makes sure everythings position isnt getting weird and fucked up. he can teleport wherever he wants and he can work outside of 3 dimensions. thats how silly he is fun little fact: the gods have forced his face to be smiling forever. he is actually not happy with this

thats probably all of them for now .. will update this whenever i make new guys ...

[pikaflute]

sits very niceys. do you perhaps have any hcs on how the mtl freaks would play splatoon. flutters eyelashes

SMILES i added mag and mma for you king

nathan - explosher (OBVIOUSLY) and hydra splatling main. very aggressive playstyle, like yeah he's playing turf war but he needs to get that fucking guy right now. still ends up with the most turf inked though. plays in absolute silence and doesn't show any emotion if he wins or loses. its the autism stare. plays turf war and rainmaker mainly. his character is an inkling.

pickles - whatever weapon is the most annoying in the meta. very annoying to play against because he doesn't help for the objective at all and just likes to be a shithead to the other team. he gets gamer rage often. plays turf war only, and jumps on comp to fuck with his bandmates. his character is an octoling

charles - splatana and undercover brella main. he is probably the best player out of the band only because he is a team player. he communicates as much as he can in game and only wants to break his controller sometimes. he's reigning in that rage for the punching bag later. plays anarchy battle. all modes. he's scarily good at it. also salmon run and is eggescutive vp. his character is an octoling.

skwisgaar - e-liter 4k scope dickhead. he loves spawncamping people. especially when he plays with the other guitarists because it ends up making them extremely mad. he's not that good but he always brags when he gets a 4 kill without even trying. don't look at his win loss record though. plays turf war but is surprisingly good in salmon run. his character is an inkling.

murderface - crash blaster main. he got killed by one 10 times in one match and now has made it his goal to learn this weapon out of fucking spite. very aggressive and very prone to gamer rage and rage quiting when hes losing. he plays turf war and anarchy but is hard stuck in b rank due to rage quits. his character is an inkling.

toki - dualies squelchers and splattershot main. like murderface is also angry at the game and rage quits often. he likes turf war the most obviously but always tries to play anarchy battle and keeps losing and throws his controller in the wall. he's broken like 5 at this point. he's decent at salmon run though. when he doesnt get fucked by weapon selection. his character is an octoling.

abigail - nzap 89 main. is just there for a good time. she tried playing with the guys and saw how mad they got so she just solo queues and has fun! she does not need anymore stress in her life, and yet she still plays salmon run with charles who treats it like it's life or death. she is eggescutive but at what cost....she likes tableturf battle too. her character is an octoling.

knubbler - flingza roller and l-3 nozzlenose main. the only person alive good at clam blitz and the only person who can play the nozzlenoze. he also is the only person who enjoys clam blitz too. its crazy. he's like s rank all because of clam blitz alone. he also spends all his money on the stupidest outfit combos ever that dont even give him good stats. love wins i guess. his character is an inkling

magnus - splatana and splatling main but he's bad at both. he's good with the splattershot but refuses to play that weapon because he wants to look cool and these weapons will in his mind be able to kill more people in game. well he doesnt and he goes into gamer rage because he got spawncamped but some guy using meta weapons its niot fair for fucks sake. into turf war and occasinally anarchy abttles but again. angry. mma got tired of his annoying ass and broke his switch. his character was an inkling.

mma - doesnt play video games. would be a nautlius main though and play anarchy only. he would also be an octoling.

[fa7hum]

Anymore

Dad it took me a few weeks to write this.

I want you to know, I’ve been holding together my misery pretty well for a long time now. All I wanted so bad was to be the superhero at the end of the story. Who ended up saving people regardless of what his past had looked like. A person that anyone could go to see to remind them life is worth living. Even just the by-passers in my life I wanted to leave a positive impact on them by a smile or a motivating look. I really believe I was born to bring a light to this world even though it was so so hard for my dim days to have hope for a future. It’s wild how I can now remember how long I have been dim, all the way back to when bullet died I didn’t feel cut out for this world and I believed I was cursed. Maybe I was maybe it was just the environment we somehow began to grow out of. I’m so proud of you and us by the way for being those roses who grew through the concrete because, wow I’ve seen a lot of life now. I’m so grateful for you doing your best regardless of not knowing better with so many decisions to make solely on your back you made it happen for us and I’m so proud of you for that really, I truly love you so much it hurts sometimes. I’m just so happy to have learned through life the power of sympathy and empathy. I apologize for ever making it harder on you than you needed it to be but I learned in this life we’re born sinners and on the road we get to decide if we want to die one or not. I’m so grateful for Jesus’s grace to help me learn what real truth and love are through my life. I’ve done really bad but I’d like to say I’ve done really good too, and those doing good moments are so special to me and I hold them so close to my heart. I’m very scared because I’ve gone very very far down a road that very few make it back from. I remember the first morning taking on the greatest storm i will ever come to face.

I was living in a dream beligerantly smoking cig after cig after cig as each one was sucked down with every full drag trying to suffocate on something other than the true torture of watching every freaking regret, every freaking moment i let the evil world turn me into something that wasnt recognizable. I know she died because in this world we became way too tarnished to experience and appreciate the perfection thats intended for us to share with one another. True love is an understanding that goes beyond the explanation we can fathom in this realm.

You wont understand

You dont understand

I wish you could, because in this agony

As it carries on in a way i never expected it to,

Its a feeling thats difficult to wrap around

I don’t see the same world as I always had and hoped it would be. And yes even after losing her I tried to get up and move forward, but I’m the one who has always been the stubborn one who believed in truth and destiny. I’m afraid I can’t live faking it. It hurts my very soul to not be genuine, to have to fake it so hard to be an optimist or even just pick myself up to last another day no matter the circumstances truthfully. My drive has dried up, this world is so evil it truthfully disgusts me and scares me to the core, I’ve been a walking miracle ever since I found out even about bullet. Then loss after loss after loss after loss after betrayal after betrayal after loss and I’m here drowning in grief I can’t open my eyes enough to see the things I’ve always wanted right in front of me. But the truth is ever since I was 5 and uncle bubba and Maymay and Tom and Nanny would joke about girlfriends I’ve believed in a one true love and I was destined to meet her one day. I want you to know I didn’t just love Alyvia because she was pretty or this one thing or that one thing. No. It is the fact she was a gift sent to me from God himself in flesh. Do you know how in the Bible Jesus says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” I noticed after studying the Bible like crazy because I was so excited about the idea of true true love so bad! Jesus’s power isn’t some magical pixie dust but the real magic is he is in all of us! As soon as his first cry as a baby in that manger was let out this whole realm of being became washed over by the divine nature of God being one with the world. He brought the “spirit of life” into the world and it is a contagious thing! We are effectors for God! (Effectors - “bring about responses, which restore optimum levels,”) We are here right now in this world knowing the truth and are not spreading this contagious catalyst of pure true love? I want you to ask yourself what more you can do to initiate the moving of divine intervention through your own voice. Because your title in Gods Kingdom is Beloved Son. Because he first loved us. I really would like to encourage you Dad, just a mustard seed of faith! To be in this movement of the spirit with me and be re-identified from everything the world told you, you were and join me in the one step program of our Fathers promise and remember who you really are. (My Beloved) There are levels of comfort that God wants to provide to you if you let him.

[tandytoaster]

Related, I was mutuals with someone on twitter who was against self-dx'ing and at one point they said something like "I'm Actually diagnosed with anorexia so (whatever the rest of the tweet was, it was something really mean)"

Like...... if u are restricting ur food intake an obsessive amount and overly concerned with your weight I do not think you need a doctor to tell you what you have....... like you already know......... you have it regardless if the doctor tells u or not

[twatshag]

"Can I ask you something?"

♤ In which haikyuu boys ask you personal questions ♤

Pairings: iwaizumi x reader, osamu x reader, kuroo x reader All gn!!

Warnings: mentions of death(not the characters), suggestive topics, mentions of daddy issues, mention of past troubles, insecurities, mentions of exs cheating, crying

Genre: fluff, slightly angsty but still fluffy.

—----------------------------------------------—

A/N: In honour of mental health month I wanted to write this piece to make you guys feel loved by the boys ! You are loved and cared for and as much as I hated hearing it but things WILL get better. Stay strong I want you to fight.- Kira

—----------------------------------------------—

Miya Osamu

You and your boyfriend were cuddling against one another in your bed it was a routine you both loved doing on your free days. Basking in each others warmth while talking about your days and what the future holds.

Osamu's laugh rang through the bedroom walls while he played with your hair. "And then she literally drops her cake right onto my laptop and it freakin' broke it!!" "Ma god angel was tha cake that hard?" "You have no idea how much I wanted to punch her for one, baking a cake that was literally so hard if I ate a rock it would've been softer and two for breaking my freaking laptop !".

Osamu chuckled once again as he kissed your forehead and you frowning because of how can he find the awful events that you've been dealing with all week funny at all.

"There there angel A don't want ya getting forehead wrinkles from frowning too hard ya know." He chuckled while poking your ticklish sides earning a slap on his hand. "Jeez I think I'd literally cry if I ever got them." Osamu smiled against your hairline as the conversation came to a halt maybe this was the right moment to ask what he's been thinking about all week he thought.

"Angel can a ask you something?". You tilted your head to look at him while he gazed right back at you while popping an eyebrow at his question "is your question going to be 'can ya help me get off?' ? Because your answer is no."

Osamu chuckled and rolled his eyes at your so bold statement just a while back in your relationship you'd be blushing profusely if he made any type of suggestive comment wondering what happened to his innocent S/o.

"Nah angel I'm serious here". Noticing his serious features you decided to nod and see what he has to say.

Gulping he decided to ask away. "What made ya believe in love again? Ya know after yer ex had cheated on ya?" Your eyes widened at his sudden question earning a worried panicked look from him. Looking around the room to avoid this awkward situation he put himself into "Y-ya dont hafta answer ya know A- a Just couldn't-" "you."

His eyes met yours with a dumb founded expression you deciding to continue on since there was no backing down now. I mean you always knew that one day he'd ask you about it but it still made you sink a bit when he did.

"I mean sure of course there would be times where you smelled different or something and I'd panic or times you got so many notifications on your phone and i'd let my past get the better of me and snoop but after 3 months of dating, you told me something that just healed everything I've been through."

You smiled at him and he looked back at you with a curious look to what his so called healing words were.

"You told me you loved me. And I know that sounds so stupid" you laughed heavily releasing the lump in your throat.

"But the way you looked at me was like an unspoken promise to never hurt me like he did." You shrugged smiling at him and burying your face against his chest.

Osamu was dumbfounded by your response sure he knew he might be the reason but confirmation doesnt make the love sick smug grin on his face and the warmth rising to it any less effective.

He held you as tight as he can. "God angel ya really know how to get a man flustered say how bout ya help me get o-" "no" "Angelllllllllllll" you scoffed at him and hit his chest. "Shut up and sleep Miya" to which he laughed at the sound of his last name even when you were upset and you addressed him by his last name he can't help but smile at how beautiful it sounded coming from you. "Yer breaking ma heart here angel don't make me take yer cuddling rights." Chuckling as your grip around him tightened and drifting off to sleep together while he played with your hair.

Making mental note to always be the one who heals you forever because you were the one who healed him too and God did he love you so much for everything that you did.

Iwaizumi Hajime

Today was your regular late night drive throughs and talks about your life while stuffing your face with fast food with your beefy athletic trainer boyfriend.

As you brought the sandwich to your mouth and took a big bite you moaned at the heavenly taste earning a chuckle from the green eyed man next to you.

"Can't believe I'm not the one who's making you moan that way but a sandwich."

You rolled your eyes at his snarky comment while stuffing your mouth with the sandwich "shushth up iwa-chanth".

"Jeez who knew romance was dead L/n and I told you stop calling me that and don't speak with a mouth full last time you did you had to clean my car seat" he laughed earning an intensive glare his way from you.

You swallowed and thought about a good come back for a second. "I wasn't the one who threw up in my cup holder was I? Iwaaa-chaaaannnn" making sure to drag the annoying nickname out just to tease him.

He rolled his eyes at you "you're such a brat, doll and you know how I can't deal with spicy food who's fault was that?" You laughed "oh shut up, you loved me for the after care you got Hajime." "I'll think about it."

Smacking his chest lightly as you both laughed into the night.

Should I ask ? I really don't want to pry. I mean it's been weeks since they've told me about it and I dont want them to feel alone maybe I shouldn't ask them iwaizumi thought to himself while staring at the sandwich in his hands. But before he could decide he was snapped back to reality by your voice "not hungry Haji?" Before he could settle on a decision the words have already come out of his mouth.

"Doll can I ask you something?" You raised an eye brow at his sudden serious tone and you nodded "of course, anything haji-baby" feeling the atmosphere turn tense you decided to pull out the favourite nick name card and he smiled nervously.

"Do you miss her?" You felt your heart sink. Your friend had gotten into an accident talking with her boyfriend while driving resulting them in a critical state which lead to them passing away. You smiled weakly.

"Yes I do.." he stared at you worried that he might've crossed a line or broke a boundary but before he could overthink you opened your mouth to speak again.

"But you know, my care taker always told me something that always stuck to me about death. They said Nobody dies before age" he frowned confusingly. "What do you mean?" He asked eager to know what your statement meant.

"It means that when a person passes away they've served their purpose and they accomplished what they wanted to on earth so they go into their next step. A life even better than what they've gotten." You gazed at him smiling of course it hurt, alot but your friend was very successful and very happy when you went to the funeral and walked up to her casket the way she lied there was a peaceful sight. Slight smile on her face despite her body being cold.

As much as it hurt saying good bye you couldn't help but smile at how happy she looked to earn peace of an even better life in the next. Leaving her pain behind her.

Iwaizumi reached to hold your hand thinking he couldn't possibly be more in love how foolish he thought.

"You're really strong you know that?" You laughed heavily squeezing his hand while a few tears slipped out of your eyes. "Its a part of life you know its just it always hurts when they leave but it makes me at ease knowing that something better is out there for them."

You looked up at your boyfriend who was tearing up in front of you exchanging silent smiles and promises to never be sad when anything happens to you both individually because at the end of the day the light at the end of the tunnel is always brighter than the start.

Kissing in the dead of night as a confirmation to what you both were thinking and agreeing to your promise. While he held you in his arms remembering to always make you feel better because even though his job was draining coming home to you and embracing you was something that always, always made him feel better. Hoping that it would be your cure as well.

Kuroo Tetsuro

"Kitten! Come help me with this!" Kuroo whined as he was trying to hang up the drawn portrait of your pet dog on the wall. Today was just a normal lazy day in the kuroo & L/n household. "Tetsu- stop whining can't you see I'm busy here" you rolled your eyes at your 6'2 pouting boyfriend who's suddenly bad at everything he can do alone knowing damn well he just uses it as an excuse to be close to you.

Despite what everyone thought of Kuroo he sure was the clingy type in fact if you got up to the bathroom during the night he'd whine about how you don't love him anymore because you left his arms.

Walking over to you trying to put the portrait into different frames you had placed on the floor deciding which one would look the best on the wall. He crouched down to your level and hugged you from behind while resting his chin on your shoulder.

"Kitten don't use that sassy tone with me I'm still your senpai chibi-chan." You giggled and rolled your eyes at his silly nickname "you know that it's been 5 years since high school right ?" He smirked at you and kissed your neck earning a whimper from you at the warm sensation. "But you're still my chibi-chan" "whatever you say captain"

you smiled at his warmth while sliding the portrait out of the frame you put it in. "Say chibi-chan, why don't you start calling me captain in bed?" You looked at him with the best deadpan expression you could make while he wiggled his eyebrows at you as a way to say 'whatcha think???' "No". You answered back.

you stood up grabbing the frame you thought fit best on the wall and he followed you like a lost puppy "oooohhh come on chibi-chan, how would that hurt? You refused to call me daddy you know!" You laughed at his annoying smug grin and rolled your eyes at his pouty face.

"I'm not calling you captain testu- besides why isn't testu enough for you? Sex is supposed to be intimate why would I call you something that I don't like thinking about." You chuckled,

but he knew better than anyone that your chuckle wasn't because you thought it was funny but because you were hiding the slight pain in your voice.

If you had anything common with kuroo it was that your home wasn't as perfect either. Your father was indeed home and he lived with you guys but if he wasn't it would've probably been for the better. And he knew about that.

"Kitten can I ask you something?" You rolled your eyes thinking this was going to be another bribe for you to call him some nick name during sexual intercourse but decided to play along. "Aye aye captain ask away." Popping the cardboard open to place the portrait inside the decided frame you heard him swallow and he opened his mouth to talk.

"Is it because of him?" You almost dropped the portrait from your hands. Grip hardening on the piece of paper in your hold.

You looked at him sadness reflecting your eyes trying to hide it behind your weak smile. You nodded. "Yeah. It is".

You didn't notice how your hand started shaking becoming angry and over rushed with every negative emotion in your body tears swelling up your eyes not noticing how your boyfriend was already by your side placing the paper you held so tightly on to the side while pulling you in to his chest and relaxing as you softened against him.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked you that." You sniffles against shaking your head. "No it's okay, it's just.." he placed his hand on your head tracing his thumb against your hair lightly something that always soothed you when your sad.

"I just don't want to remember him, You know and I still feel like it's my fault that he's the way he is, maybe if I-" "no."

Kuroo cut you off by lifting your chin up to look at him worry and pain plastered onto his face. How can anyone hurt you he thought.

"It's not your fault kitten, if anything he's the asshole. You didn't deserve him and his shitty behaviour if I was in his place I would've made sure to protect you even from myself."

You laughed while he wiped your tears and you leaned to his touch "you just made this sound gross testu" he chuckled and pulled you into his chest once again allowing you to hear his racing heart that only raced for you.

"guess I'm gross for making my kitten laugh while crying" you giggled wrapping your arms tightly around him, enjoying his warmth and love for a few seconds before mumbling. "Captain sounds nice.." giggling to yourself and suddenly yelping as he picked you up bridal style and kissing your lips making his way to the bedroom

"Tetsu put me down!!! We still didn't hang the portrait yet!!" He chuckled as you squirmed in his hold "nope I'm sure the portrait could wait right now I have to take this new nickname for a test drive" as he closed the door to the bedroom leaving you and your worries behind.

You knew that at the end of the day kuroo would never hurt you. Unless it's in bed but that's beside the point.. he truly loved you and while you laid in his arms that night completely bare he vowed to himself to always protect you. Even if that meant from himself.

—----------------------------------------------—

A/N: I hope that you guys enjoyed this piece dedicated to mental health month! Please don't ever doubt your feelings they are valid and you have every right to feel the way you feel thank you all for being the way you guys are ! Much love to everyone! Stay strong

P.S: ILL UPDATE AS SOON AS I GET MY REQUESTS OPEN!!!

- with love kira

—----------------------------------------------—

[heyitsyn]

Prince Iwa-Chan

Oikawa!Sister x Iwaizumi Hajime

a/n: it aggravates me that my mans bara-arms-iwa-chan is so UNDERRATED!!!!

requests open!!

like look mom, im in love

ofc youre an oikawa

tbh, i dont think iwa wouldve been comfortable w you when yall first met

lets say youre a year younger than tooru

its a well-known fact that theyve been friends since they were really young so you, being oiks’ baby sister, was also part of your little trio

like lets say they met when they were 6

that would make you about 5

since yall have an older sister, you were exposed to the girly girl stuff like dolls and princesses

ngl, tooru was too thats why hes so flamboyant

but seems his fashion style refutes that

ya didnt hear that from me

anyways

tooru had already developed a deep fascination w volleyball bc he saw it being played during the 2000 summer olympics

but you remained w your sister and continued letting her treat you like a princess

im not really sure how old his sister is but lets say she was about around middle school when you were 5-6

however, tooru still made you play w him even though you didnt know how but you didnt care bc you were close w your brother so you would play ball w him

then came along iwaizumi hajime that tooru met from school

he found out that this boy also liked volleyball and tooru yeeted them both home so they could go and play at the back yard

you peeked from your window and you just thought iwa was the most handsome boy youve ever met

ofc, you just bolted down the stairs to where your brother and his friend was

oiks saw you standing by the door w a red face and him, being still a child and not understanding crushes, thought you were sick

he went to you and beckoned hajime to follow him inside

tooru sat you down and asked if you were okay but you just kept staring at hajime

he figured that you were just confused as to who this person was

‘oh! iwa-chan! this is my little sister, y/n! y/n, this is my classmate, iwaizumi hajime!’

cue iwa hitting him at the head

‘i can introduce myself perfectly fine, bakakawa!’

iwaizumi hajime,,,

iwaizumi hajimeee,

iwaizumi y/n

that thought made you turn even redder and you squealed in embarrassment before running back to your room

lmao what

if your personality doesnt align w this, i deeply apologize

i just think if you were an oikawa, you would bound to immediately also be drawn to this handsome specimen named iwaizumi hajime

he be getting the oikawas though

iwa was actually concerned but oiks waved it off

‘don’t worry, iwa-chan. shes weird like that. lets go toss the ball!’

so that was kinda how he met you

now, since hajime basically lived in your house by how much him and your brother hung out, youve slowly mellowed out and gotten to be friends w him

despite your hatred w bugs, you still went w them to explore just bc you wanted to be around hajime

lmao tooru youre now irrelevant

hajime didnt mind and he always made sure you were okay with the adventures of the day

even though you were only like a year younger, he cant help but baby you bc of your much smaller height than him and overall cute baby face

one day, they both came home from school all sweaty bc they raced home

‘iwa-chan! you can settle in the living room while i go shower!’

‘don’t call me iwa-chan, bakakawa!’

‘then stop calling me that!’

he sat down on the couch and started doing his homework when he heard you come home from school

lmao how do little japanese kids go back and forth from school to home at the age of 6

idek how to cross the street

‘tadaima’

‘oh, okaeri, y/n’

you perked up at his voice and you ran to the living room, seeing him

‘iwa-chan!’

he grunted and you threw yourself to him in a hug

if your personality doesnt align w this, i deeply apologize

i just think if you were an oikawa, you would bound to immediately also be drawn to this handsome specimen named iwaizumi hajime

part 2

tbh it doesnt even faze him anymore since you do this to him every time

he continues doing homework and just wraps one arm around you and starts patting your head

‘tooru-nii?’

‘shower’

‘okay’

then silence

but its the good kind of silence

you and iwa just sit there with you snuggled up on him while he continues to add numbers

then it was ruined

by the pterodactyl oikawa tooru who comes flying down the stairs and glomps on to iwa’s other side

‘y/n-chan! stop hogging iwa-chan!’

‘he’s mine, tooru-nii!!’

you pout while iwa turns and gives him a glare

‘shut up, bakakawa! and stop calling me that!’

‘aahh!! you were mine first, iwa-chan!’

‘i was never yours! be quiet!’

‘itai, iwa-chan!’

‘he’s mine forever! we’re going to get married so butt out, nii-chan!’

‘HAH?!’

once everything calms down, yall actually start your homework and work

‘anything happen today, y/n-chan?’

oikawa always asked that question bc he believes its his duty as older brother to be caught up in your life

thats actually annoying bruv

‘hmm, me and the girls in my class were playing princess tea party today and a boy asked to be my prince.’

‘WHAT!’

oikawa is 7 now and he faintly has an idea about crushes and his father made him promise that he would protect you from nasty boys

‘calm down, bakakawa’

iwa mumbled, continuing his homework but also paying attention

‘WHAT!? NO! WHATD YOU SAY, Y/N-CHAN! YOUR BROTHER IS THE ONLY PRINCE YOU NEED!’

‘i told him i already have a prince’

oikawa was so smug and crossed his arms

‘hm, serves them right-’

‘prince iwa-chan and i are going to get married and live in a castle so there’s no room for anybody else’

iwa had to double check and turned red really fast

like who was this iwa-chan

wait, what his name?

his name has iwa in it

is he iwa-chan?

y/n’s prince iwa-chan?

was he really iwa-chan?

‘NO! YOUR NII-SAN IS YOUR PRINCE! IWA-CHAN CAN BE YOUR KNIGHT OR SOMETHING! BUT IM YOUR PRINCE!’

you glared at tooru and shook your head

‘no. iwa-chan is my prince’

you were so shamless about this fact

lmao i want your confidence

from then on, youve called iwa as your prince

like his name on your phone is literally prince iwa-chan

then when you were in middle school, you’ve started calling iwa as haji-senpai

there wasnt even a large event that spawned this

well,,, actually,,

youve noticed that iwa hated the nickname ‘iwa-chan’ a lot and he hit tooru many times bc of it so you stopped calling him that bc you didnt want him to be mad at you

so you started calling him senpai bc he was technically an upperclassman

when you first called him this, iwa was lowkey shook

‘haji,,,, senpai?’

you nodded from your spot on the couch, not looking up from your homework

‘see? i can only call iwa-chan, iwa-chan! OOF!’

that was iwa hitting tooru at the face with his pencil case

‘y/n, you dont have to call me that. we’ve known each other since we were little so you dont have to call me by an upperclassman term’

you shrugged

‘i know. but you dont like it when you’re called iwa-chan, do you?’

‘not if it’s by this trash’

he jutted a thumb to the fallen tooru

‘so,,,, iwa-chan is fine?’

your eyes sparkled at the permission of being able to freely call him that without worry

he gulps at your face and turns away to hide his red face before nodding

‘my prince iwa-chan!’

‘no! my iwa-chan!’

‘shut up shittykawa!’

‘itai, iwa-chan!’

keeping up with the oikawas

this nickname will forever be stuck

since you went to the same middle school, you were known to be around your brother and iwa and even staying behind for practice to walk home w them

it became a bit of a joke to the team of you picking up your prince

one day, a teammate called iwa, ‘prince iwa-chan’ and he almost busted a fuse

was ready to square up bc only his babie can call him that

but when you came through the door

‘prince iwa-chan! your princess is here!’

he turned all soft and squishy and pats your head so gently that they couldnt believe this is the same boy who is the ace

you were interested in volleyball so you were kinda friends w the team but you didnt really care for the sport, mainly focusing on your academics

thats how it really was for you three

they focused on sports while you studied

oh my here comes highschool

oikawa and iwa were already known throughout the FREAKING PREFECTURE bc of how TALENTED THEY ARE AT VOLLEYBALL

and you were already known by your pretty face and your cute personality

basically genderbent oikawa

and just wanted to stop you from reading by telling you that you are beautiful and you are a KWEEN and you are a GODDESS and confidence is the most beautiful thing to wear and best of all, it’s free!!

ofc, youd have to go to aoba johsai bc your brother was there

‘y/n-chan! you need to go where your brother is! you love him, don’t you?’

‘sure, tooru’

you actually went to seijoh bc you would see iwa 

you didnt hear that from me

your first day, boys (and gals) were already flocking towards you when they saw you walking with iwa and tooru

still being the overprotective brother since day1, oikawa was just snarling at anyone getting close to his baby sister

lmao what baby

hes only like a year older

but iwa was being terrirorial protective bc he finds it as an obligation as tooru’s best friend and your childhood friend

when oiks wasn’t paying attention and being drowned by his fangirls, iwa was your bodyguard

there was this one boy who started walking towards you as yall were going to your class but hajime placed an arm around your waist and pulled you closer

‘oh? i’m only at the first floor, iwa-chan. don’t get all clingy now’

lmao, girl hes trying to show that boy that hes your unofficial mans and will cut off his family jewels if he tries to even BREATHE in your direction

umm,,, iwa’s not yandere in this one yall

iwa just rolls his eyes and makes you walk forward until yall are at your door

‘i’ll see you later, iwa-chan!’

‘yea yea. i’ll pick you up’

he starts to walk down the hallway but you poke your head back out and shout

‘i miss you already, prince iwa-chan!’

he turns red all over and freezes for a 0.0002 seconds before raising a hand without turning around

now ladies and genitals

this is when iwa-chan starts to catch feelings like he catches them spikes

your cute smling face and saying his dumb nickname that he actually loves was like a recipe for a stroke for him

it has come to the point at the mere thought of you would make him all flustered and red

it tripled over when this happened:

puberty was kinda late for you and you actually just woke up looking like a goddess one day and you were like, lmao what

your chest just ballooned up and your height just skyrocketed that your skirt was now very short

ew i dont know what i would do in this situation

you were self-conscious about this and was kinda scared 

obvs, you would scream for your mother and she and your father and brother bolts up to your bedroom thinking there was a whole michael meyers in your room

but when you explained that your uniform doesnt fit anymore, she starts making appointments to get you fitted for another one

but you had to wait for a few days

so you went to school looking like a whole snacc

more of a snacc than you did before

when iwa saw you, he had a literal nosebleed in the middle of campus and runs to the bathroom to get all cleaned up

why in the name of asahi do you look like that?!

when you saw your prince look at you in horror and run away, you cried

you were already very self-conscious and him doing that just topped the cake

cake that tooru doesnt have

oop imsorry

tooru reassures you that he had a nosebleed and he was just sick and ran to not get any blood on his clothes

but you just walked away with your head down low

it didnt matter to you if this caught all the student body’s attention

that their precious oikawa y/n, little sister of the oikawa tooru, was a walking perfection goddess Venus

all that you cared about was iwa’s opinions bc he was your prince and your best friend

girl, accept that you actually like the mans

this was the worst day of your entire life and you went straight to your locker to get your gym clothes out and wear it for the day

it was tight but at least it covered skin

and it still attracted enough attention to be catcalled and whistled at

it felt violating

the entire morning, there was more attention and more people flocked over to you and guys were staring at you as if you were a piece of meat, not a girl

‘harry potter is a boy! not a piece of meat!’

sorry i cant help it

you were so uncomfortable that you called your brother during lunch time to come pick you up for lunch bc you were too scared to walk alone after being catcalled during your walk to your class

tooru sends out iwa to go help you as an apology from this morning and he just runs to your class bc you were in trouble and he was going to protect you!!

go iwa-chan!

he finds you sitting on your chair, looking down at your desk as there seemed to be boys piled up on top of each other, trying to get your attention

first world problems, amirite

‘OI!’

that angry grunt but at 2x bass boosted

hearing his voice, you were still embarrassed from earlier but you were so relieved

‘iwa-chan!’

iwa pushes people away and he grabs your hand to pull you up before wrapping an arm around your waist, protectively

‘if i see you idiots making her uncomfortable or even trying to touch her, i will destroy you’

protection and the feeling of safety is my fave

he leads you out of there to the stairway where him and his teammates were eating

he held your hand tightly and you squeezed it, trying to show that you were grateful

even if they were still male, your brother was there and if something happened, they were both strong enough to take them on

besides, its just mattsun and maki anyways

tooru saw you and he hugged you before leading you to the 2 others

‘guys, this is y/n, my sister. that’s mattsun and that’s makki.’

you slightly smiled and raised a hand in greeting

‘yo’

‘hello’

to be safe, iwa made you sit a step down from him so that if something happens, he could protect you

idk how but you do you boo

‘i can protect her too, iwa-chan!’

‘shut up, shittykawa. youre literally sticks and bones’

‘so mean! iwa-chan, you’re so mean!’

you giggled, head leaning down to rest on iwa’s right thigh since you were full and tired and he runs his hand through your hair

mattsun and makki shared a look before asking

‘are you dating our ace, y/n-chan?’

at the mention of dating, you both turned red and you sat up

‘OF COURSE NOT, MATTSUN, MAKKI!’

iwa shouts but his red face and ears betrayed him

‘iwa-chan grew up with us so he’s naturally like that. we’ve adopted him into our family!’

oikawa explained but you looked at him and he gave you a knowing look

oh he noticed everything

the lingering looks during practice

the bashful smiles during hang outs at home

unnecessary touches during the walk to school

oikawa may be annoying but he’s observant and he is smart

after that fiasco, the two boys were a little wary of letting you walk home alone so iwa offered to take you since he was already making more progress and didnt need extra practice while tooru wanted to practice more

‘iwa-chan, can we go to your house this time?’

he turned to look at you curiously since you never ask to go to his place

‘i miss your mom and ive been meaning to go visit her. so can we, iwa-chan?’

you squeezed his hand and showcased your pleading look making him agree

‘fine’

his house wasn’t a frequently hung out spot since your house was closer but you were still familiar with his home since his mother was fond of you

‘tadaima’

mama iwaizumi peaked from the kitchen and greeted him home before squealing at the sight of the youngest oikawa

‘oh my, y/n-chan! hello!’

‘hello, auntie!’ 

she gave you a big hug and you returned it with a laugh

iwa just standing there to the side with a smile bc his mom approves so all is good in life

‘you’ve grown so much, y/n-chan! so much prettier too!’ you turned bashful at her compliments.

then she leaned forward to whisper in your ear but made her voice loud

‘say, has my son finally ask you to be his girlfriend?’

omg mama iwaizumi really ships it

iwa turns red and complains to his mom about being in his business too much

‘don’t be so timid, hajime! y/n-chan could be taken from under your nose any minute now!’

‘dont you think i know that’ he mumbles but very lowly so that no one hears him

but you decide to tease him more

‘no. but i’m waiting for it. i’ll tell you once he does, auntie!’

fed up with the teasing, he grabs you and drags you up to his room to change into comfortable clothing

you sit on his bed while he rummages through his closet for a sweatshirt and sweatpants

‘here! change into these!’ he shouts, still flustered and refusing to look at your eyes

youre an oikawa and you lived to tease so you stood up, tossing the clothes to the side and wrapping your arms around his neck

ooo gurl you want iwa to die today, don’t you?

he gets even redder and scowls

‘oi, y/n, what are you doing’

you shook your head

‘nothing. i just miss my prince iwa-chan. you were so brave for saving me today, prince iwa-chan’

the nickname used to not affect him that much but now, he watches the it fall from your cherry lips

‘say my name’

you furrowed your eyebrows

‘iwa-chan?’

he gently shakes his head no

‘my real name’

‘iwaizumi hajime’

you say, distracted at the way his mouth moves

‘and what’s yours?’

‘iwaizumi y/n’

you breathed out

he growls softly before taking your sinful lips

wowza jesus took the wheel bc he stepped on that pedal

we going straight 100 mph up in this bih

iwa really said, ‘skip the confession. imma go straight for my babie girl’s lips. also, proposal who? let’s go get married in vegas!’

it wasnt even been literally 15 minutes until you came bounding the stairs wearing hajime’s signature grey hoodie with his seijoh sweatpants and calling for your auntie to announce you were now dating are going to get married

‘WHAT!?’ 

she screams and comes running from the kitchen, holding a ladle

you flashed a grin while iwa shows a small smile with red cheeks from behind you before telling you that you were both too young to get married

‘i told ya you would be the first to know’

after dinner, you call your brother and hes like, ‘okay, since you’re not at home i’m assuming youre at iwa’s’

‘omgomgomg, nii-chan! i just had dinner with my boyfriend’s family! they accepted me!’

‘BOYFRIEND?! DOES IWA-CHAN KNOW!? HOW COULD YOU BREAK HIS HEART?!’

oikawa just has that special type of voice that even without being on speaker phone, it sounds like he is

iwa laughs at his friend’s worried questions

‘better hand over your princess to the prince, grand king’

oikawa screamed

i hope i did my mans justice 

[just-a-fangirl13]

Thoughts & Theories about MacGyver 5x10 [MacRiley]

HOLY SHIT! 

This episode was absolutely INSANE. Im writing out my thoughts once and for all because I need to stop thinking about everything that happened (I highly doubt I will be able to but here's to trying)

SPOILERS FOR 5x10 OFCOURSE

Straight off the bat, I was screaming *internally* and yelling at Mac when he showed the diamond to Bozer. I suspected it yesterday when we got the snippet of Murdoc saying the words DIAMOND and RING with extra emphasis..(everyone on twitter said I was jumping to conclusions.. I thought so too honestly) But damn I did NOT expect them to actually do that!

Now here's why I am not mad about it anymore. [this is my interpretation you are free to disagree]

Firstly, when Mac told Bozer he was going to propose he didnt say I’m doing it because I love Desi or I want to spend the rest of our lives together or because she’s the one (doesn't mean he doesnt care for her ofcourse)

He said “Ever since I lost my dad & Jack, I have been thinking about the bigger picture and a commitment to make things work is exactly what Desi and I need right now. A grand romantic gesture.” He wanted to propose for stability so he could finally be on the same page with her. They never really defined their relationship before and this was a way for Mac to final bring it together. A grand romantic gesture is usually something people use to win their partners back which is what Mac was trying to do I guess. It almost sounds like he has to do it so he doesn't lose her again 

(ill get to my second reason in the end)

Then ofcourse Bozer tells Riley about it so she can be prepared. Bozer is such a good friend. He is supportive of Mac AND wants to protect Riley. I love him for it! He really is doing everything to be the best friend he can to both of them. (Leannas death was so painful and I just want to hug him but thankfully Riley had that covered.)

Next we get the BIG REVEAL. The moment all of us had been waiting for. 

The moment that SHOOK Angus MacGyver and CHANGED EVERYTHING!

Rileys Feelings!

“You want me to say it out loud? Fine. Yes I had feelings for Mac. There I said it. and yeah watching him and Desi together was breaking my heart so I moved out of his house. I should have said something to him a long time ago but I didn’t and now its over. ”

I had the opposite of a HEART ATTACK! (my heart rate was through THE ROOF!)

I have to say they really really outdid themselves on this reveal. 

SIDE NOTE: If anyone comes for Riley and tries to call her a slut or a home wrecker? You will have me to deal with. Even after Murdoc played the clip of her confession she still tried to deny it and brush it off so it wouldn't complicate things for Mac and Desi. If Riley had wanted, she could have easily told Mac this to his face while he was dating Desi and then let things happen from there but she DIDNT. She kept that secret buried so deep she herself was in denial.

(also if anyone calls Mac a player or anything like that.. I will end you. He is doing his best to deal with everything that has happened to him and people keep giving him shit for it....)

Anyways, we see Mac’s expression & he is just confused and shocked and clearly not trying to think about it because it changed EVERYTHING for him. 

[Murdoc saying I THINK IM ON TEAM RILEY was a HUGE HIGHLIGHT for me! I love him so damn much!]

Desi took it really well too actually. If they keep going down this road of growth and maturity for her I think I could actually like her again. (Russ too when he apologised to Bozer) 

She didnt throw a hissy fit or say I knew it or look at Riley like she was the villain. She focused on the mission & I respect her for that.

(Riley does say, “the next thing you are going to hear on that recording-” and then gets cut off by Desi.. If this will come into play at some point later on or if it was just her trying to explain herself, remains to be seen.)

Then after the climax, we finally hear Riley say the words to Mac in real time and we get our FIRST MacRiley hug of the season! 

At this point I thought they would agree to be friends and make the friendzone thing clear BUT NOPE. (you have no idea how happy I am about it not going down like that!)

I was also a puddle on the floor. SO

“Mac look-”

“You don’t have to say anything if you dont want to. Really.”

“I want to. Last year in Germany. I realised I was starting to have feelings for you. Real feelings. I didnt want to make anything weird between you and Desi. I didnt want to mess up our work or our friendship so I decided to bury it. Until the feelings passed.”

“Emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Gosh they are so perfect together! The way they look at each other and the HUG! OH MY GOD THE HUG! Its just perfection.

Now we also see this from Desi’s POV. Again no anger or jealousy from her. I think it was an understanding. She realised that she and Mac were never going to work.. maybe a little pain but honestly everything that went down with her and Mac was her fault too. The lack of trust and understanding was always a problem for them. Sure, things were going well but she didnt seem like she was ready for a commitment if im being honest. If Mac had proposed I think Desi would have said no.(again nothing wrong with that) 

She didnt want to label their relationship..they haven't said the words I love you to each other and I dont think they even live together. It really was way too sudden.(these are just things im assuming people define how well a relationship is going by.. I have no experience.)

Then ofcourse we have what im calling the goodbye scene. Its the break up before the break up in my opinion.

Desi tells Mac that they should pretend the last 24 hours never happened (that might actually include Mac wanting to propose but make of it what you will..) and that they should have a clean slate. But its very clear from Mac’s face and Desi sees it too that he isnt 100% onboard with it. He cant forget about it.

Which is when Desi says “Look Mac just do whatever you feel is right” and Mac looks confused.

She then gives him a goodbye kiss. 

Look if you have ever watched any show/movie before where the characters are saying goodbye to each other or breaking each others hearts...THERE IS ALWAYS A KISS ON THE CHEEK. A final farewell of sorts. 

That is what it seemed like to me. It was Desi telling Mac to do what he has to. Even if it inevitably leads to their break up.

Again real emotional maturity from Desi here!

Then we get the scene, Monica Macer (the show runner) tweeted about back in December.

Mac knocking on someones door. If im being honest? I thought it was Desi’s place and he was going to propose...

BUT it turned out to be Riley’s.

Mac clearly hasn't stopped thinking about what happened. I wouldnt either if my best friend who has put her life on the line for me and trusts me 100%, now has feelings for me? That would turn my world upside down too.

especially if I had feelings for her that I buried so deep that I never acknowledged them.

Also this is my scenario for how their first kiss goes down just FYI.. (Mac showing up at Rileys doorstep and finally confessing his feelings and kissing her *probably won't happen that way now though, but I still love it*)

Mac hesitates for a second before finally knocking on her door.

“Mac? Everything okay?”

“I can’t pretend like the last 24 hours didnt just happen. They did. So I gotta ask. Did it work?”

“Did what work?”

“Hiding your emotions and letting it pass. Did they go away?”

and I proceeded to pass out. My brain just checked out...

Now initially in all my freaking out I thought Mac was asking Riley about his feelings. If HE buried them deep enough would he still be able to move on with Desi but then I rewatched it and I realised he was asking RILEY if her feelings were still there, if there was still a possibility of something ever happening. 

She never told him its all good now! my feelings are gone and it was a long time ago. She told him she buried it but he needed to know if a future with Riley was something tangible. 

BASICALLY ANGUS MACGYVER ASKED RILEY DAVIS IF SHE WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIM. *I think I need to go to a hospital now*

So this was my second reason for not being annoyed about the proposal. The writers used it to show what a huge impact it would have on Mac. How much Rileys feelings would actually mean to him. the GAME CHANGER it would be.

A friend of mine said it was kinda funny and a little jarring but I liked it. (I could have done without the proposal) But I understand why they did it. They couldnt have Mac and Desi break up the same day Riley’s feelings came out because then people would hate Mac. They had to make him want to take the next step with Desi but then drop a bomb on him, that would make him question everything.

Again this is what I took away from it.

BUT GOSH WAS THIS EPISODE AMAZING!

I do get that some people are not happy with this and some said it was too sudden *not like we’ve been waiting since season 1 or anything* but I think after 5x11 things will slow down again. Mac may break up with Desi only at the end of the season when he finally comes to terms with his feelings. (Some people are still cautious and I get it but after everything that just happened I find it hard to believe that Mac and Riley won't end up together after all.. not to mention the leaked script conversation between Mac and Riley from 5x15)

Now I dont know how the final scene ends.. they definitely dont get called away for their solo mission immediately after because Mac’s cheek injury is relatively healed in this stills, which means Riley does answer Mac’s question. She may try to avoid it or deflect but he is standing right there so...who knows.

Next weeks episode is a MacRIley solo mission and lets just say things definitely are heating up a bit..*wink wink*

YUP IM HYPED. 

BRING ON THE SEXUAL TENSION AND THE ANGST!