#dourmbr

[dourmbr]

Niceness scares me

The idea of people putting others before themselves

Seems so alien to me

Who are you??

[dourmbr]

<

“Was it nice?”

“Yea… it was nice”

“I bet we were fun”

“Like you wouldn’t believe”

>

Conversation with the past

[dourmbr]

<

Everyday I hope for a better tomorrow

And when I get that better tomorrow

I always seem to overlook that fact

And instead mourn the days that we’re not better

I must learn to appreciate the good things in life

And not focus on the bad

>

[dourmbr]

<

You ask why

But the answer is simple

Because I love you

>

[dourmbr]

<

i know who i am because i know who i am not

>

[dourmbr]

I fear that i misunderstand love

I just want to know

So bad

[dourmbr]

Love hit me like a train

I didn’t know wether to be greatful or not

As good as It felt, I could only see what I had been missing

Years of me wondering if I was good enough

Left me to believe that love wasn’t for me

I wish I had seen sooner

What other people see in me

Maybe i am not so bad

Maybe i am lovable

[dourmbr]

I lay in my bed fighting the urge to cry

I cannot even admit to myself that I have been strong for too long

I make faces hoping to scare the sadness away

Secretly hoping that I eventually succumb to the tears

And I do

And the tears flow

And flow and flow and flow

And for one second it no longer seems like the end of the world

Maybe tomorrow is coming and maybe it is beautiful 

I think I’ll go to bed now

Right after I untie this noose

[dourmbr]

I look up at the gloomy sky and smile

For it seems I do not endure my sadness alone

The earth too feels the gloom

[dourmbr]

<

Grow

Grow

Grow !!!!!!

>

[dourmbr]

< I’ll miss you >

not long has passed

since the crossing of our paths

but you continue to amaze me.

to feel the light

that you shine on this Earth

is to feel that of a warm, summer, sun;

kissing your cheek

and seeing your smile brighten

the room and everyone in it

is still a feeling that I can not describe

but you probably would compare it to

Nirvana - (n) a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self…the final goal of Buddhism

[dourmbr]

< excruciating the pain

that i hold within me

>

[dourmbr]

<You may not know it

But the words you said to me that day

Very well may have saved my life>

[dourmbr]

I remind myself to be grateful for another day

Our time here is finite, which makes it that much more valuable

[dourmbr]

[dourmbr]

If one day it turns out

you cannot find me

Follow your heart

It will lead you to me

< doUrmbr 2023 >

< navigation >