#drawing bubby is so fun????

[halflifebutawesome]

5 YEARS ?!?!?!!!!

[bubbiethesaur]

Fancy

[ratfromh]

flashback moment

[dinokiwii]

IM SO GLAD PEOPLE ARE INTERESTED heres sunkist

preferably he would be a blond phase black bear but i couldnt find any pngs….so normal black bear will do.

but basically the black mesa facility is much less corrupt than the hl game and focuses on rescue/sanctuary/conservation awareness! coomer is the spokesperson pretty much, he works on the awareness aspect and teaches people about wildlife conservation. tommy works directly with the animals for the most part, especially sunkist. bubby is more science-centered, and doesn’t really work one-on-one with the animals (but he does like them a lot. just doesn’t show it). benry is a security guard for the center and knows shit fuck about animals BUT he has a high respect for them and starts learning more through his friendship with tommy.

im drawing them as i speak :3c i have doodles from months ago when i originally made the au but its mostly benry (to no surprise sadly) i might post those later but for now i need to prioritize drawing this silly bear and his companion!

more random facts/character info/dynamics in tags!

would anybody be interested in my wildlife center hlvrai au…

[luveline]

Lovely Jade maybe you could write something about Roan finding a kitten on the street and hiding it in her backpack

🧡.

thank you so much for your request! eddie and roan —roan's acting suspicious. you and eddie investigate. stepmom!reader, 1.5k.

Roan comes in through the front door with a sweet smile. Living in your cul-de-sac has meant you don't mind too much if she wants to go out to play alone, where before Eddie would insist on sitting on the porch of the trailer, worried someone would come barrelling down the road seventy miles an hour. 

"Hi, princess," you say, leaning down with your arms propped on the counter. You're putting the finishing touches on a drawing using the sunshine. Nothing special, just a sketch for fun. 

"Hey, mommy." 

You preen at the title. Being a stepmom is awesome, especially when she feels comfortable enough to call you mom. "Is it home time for Georgia?" 

"Yeah, she's gone home for dinner." 

"Are you hungry? Daddy's still at Uncle Gareth's, so I'm in charge of food."

You turn around when you get no answer, waving your pencil at an empty kitchen. "Roan?" 

"I'm coming back!" She shouts from the top of the stairs. 

You raise your eyebrows. "Okay!" you shout back. "I get to choose dinner, then? What's that, you want chicken pot pie?" You smile. Eddie loves chicken pot pie, especially when you make it. 

You put your sketchbook and pencil case on the kitchen table and spray down the countertops. The motions of cooking are well worn now; you know how to make every recipe for two and a half people. You wash your hands, grab the canned puff pastry, and get to work. 

Roan appears again as you're spreading a little bit of flour over the counter, running to the sink. She kicks her stepping stool to the counter and climbs up to wash her hands. She looks cagey.

"Anything I should know about?" you ask.

Roan squirts dish detergent into her palm, strawberry scented rivulets running between her little fingers before she's had time to rub it in. You set aside your rolling pin and pick up the soap to put a small dollop of it in her other hand.

"Say?" you ask, stroking her bedraggled hair away from her face. 

"Nothing for you to know about." 

You turn her head to yours, water spitting at your shirts as she washes her hands hurriedly. "Hey." You frown, gaze narrowing on a bloody scratch that's caught the bottom of her right cheek. "Aw, bubby, what happened?" 

"It doesn't hurt," Roan says flippantly. 

"You're gonna have to let me wipe it clean, still. Okay?" 

"Yeah, mommy. Whatever you want." 

You bite the inside of your bottom lip to tamp down an embarrassingly huge smile. "Okay. Good girl on the hand washing, you gonna help me make dinner, huh?" You kiss the top of her head. "I'm so lucky, my girl's so helpful." 

"Can I go get changed first?" she asks. 

"Yeah, bub. Want help?" 

"No!" she shouts hopping down off of stool. She'll probably have to wash her hands again when she returns, but you're too happy to care. She's gorgeous, she's a sweetheart, and she loves you like a mom. 

You turn back to the pastry and roll out the bottom of the pie. You'll refrigerate it while you make the chicken filling and the roux. Which one to make first? You might have done things in the wrong order. 

"Ro, are you almost done?" you shout, blinking back to attention. "Let me look at that scratch, babe!"

Arms around your waist. You thought you heard the door. 

"What scratch?" Eddie asks, dipping his face down to the juncture of your neck, where he plants a warm kiss. 

"On her cheek. I let her go out with Georgia, I hope that's okay. Only in our street." 

"That's okay," he assures you. He hugs you with kind arms, not squeezing like he tends to, completely and utterly loving. You can't hug him while your hands are covered in flour, leaning back instead to soak in all his affection. "What's the scratch from?" 

"Yet to be determined." 

Eddie hums and holds you. You cave in to dirtying him, painting his forearm with white fingerprints as you hug it to your ribs. You let your head flop back, tickled by his exhales where they kiss your neck. 

You and Eddie stand there in quiet bliss. Then, from upstairs, you hear a strange sound.

"Is Roan back in her cat phase?" 

Eddie tilts his head away from you. His hand retreats from your abdomen where it'd been resting, braced on your hips. "Ro…" He groans. "Not again." 

"Eddie?" 

He takes your hand. "She has a cat in her room." 

The meows become clearer the further Eddie leads you up the stairs. You wipe as much of the flour on your hands onto your pyjama pants as you can, but it's a mess. Eddie can't complain —how often does he get car grease on you? 

"Roan Ayla Munson," Eddie says through the closed door. "I better not find anything in there that I'm not supposed to."

You startle at the use of her middle name. You didn't even know Roan had a middle name until a couple of months ago; you always thought Eddie skipped giving her one. Apparently he thought Ayla was the same as Aella, an Amazonian fighter who wielded twin axes. Ayla, in contrast, means a few things. Bringer of light, in Finnish. Circle of light around the moon, in Turkish. Oak tree, in original Hebrew. You love all three definitions, but bringer of light feels most accurate. 

Bringer of cats might be more astute at the moment.

"I don't have anything, daddy!" 

Meow. 

"I think you're lying to me. Last chance, bubby." 

A vehement shushing noise, a meow, and a defeated sigh sound through the door. Weight hits the floor, footsteps creeping closer. You and Eddie wait in apparently very different moods for her to open the door. 

Roan holds a wriggling kitten in her small hands. She's wearing a nightgown over her sweatpants like she'd started changing and forgotten. Her arms are covered in red scratches. The kitten yowls when it sees you and Eddie, likely finding you both to be more intimidating than your poor girl.

"Oh, babe," you fret breathlessly, "Eddie, take the cat." 

"Dad–" Roan starts. 

"Look at your arms," he interrupts with a tandem worry, taking the kitten from her.

You pick Roan up with ease, careful not to touch her pale arms. She tries to explain herself as you carry her down the stairs, "I found her behind Old Man Michael's house, she looked so sad and you said we should be nice to everything we meet, even if we don't like the way they look," she says. 

"I meant about spiders and ants and stuff," Eddie says, holding the angry cat in front of his chest cautiously. "You know, we don't have to kill little creatures if we don't have to. I didn't mean you should kidnap kittens." 

"She looked hungry." 

You put Roan on the clean bit of counter between the stove and the sink and frown at her arms. "Sweetheart," you murmur sympathetically, "don't these hurt?" 

"Well, I…" 

You shoot Eddie a look. He stares the kitten in the eyes rather than meet your own, seemingly distracted. Fine, you'll try parent by yourself, even if you're no expert yet. 

"What?" you ask patiently. 

"I was hiding her in my backpack, but she didn't like it. She thinks it's too small." 

"I bet so." You're thinking, Eddie, what are we gonna do? And, Ouch, these are going to hurt. "Ro, is this how you got the scratch on your cheek? You're lucky he didn't scratch you in the eye." 

"I think he's a girl," Roan says. 

This is less important to you than the scratches, but you amend yourself anyways. "She could've blinded you." 

"I think you're in trouble, Ro. We already talked about this before, didn't we? No stray cats in the house," Eddie says.

"I already told you, dad! Rufus and Steve let themselves in, I didn't used to do that." 

You wash your hands swiftly and grab the first aid kit from under the sink, pulling out the blue disinfectant spray that Roan hates. She winces at the sight of it as you expected, pulling her arms against her tummy. 

"It won't hurt anymore than the scratches did when the kitten did them," you say gently.

Roan shakes her head. 

You put the disinfectant between her knees and lean in. "I'll make daddy make cookies, yeah? You be brave and let me clean your scratches and we'll have warm cookies and ice cream."

Eddie breaks out of his stare off, taken aback. "It's her own fault," he says, though he's smiling. 

"She was trying to do a good thing. And look at her little arms, Eds, hasn't she been punished enough?" you ask. 

The kitten kicks its legs weakly. "What the heck are we gonna do with her?" Eddie asks. 

"We could keep her," Roan says. 

"Don't push your luck, Roro." 

You lift the disinfectant spray. Roan seems apprehensive still, so you look her head on and wink. "I'll try my best," you whisper.

Roan holds out her arms with a grin.

[chevy-paws]

Asks open!

This papa would love to have some itty bitty anons!! My account is pretty new but I'm in a system, so I've been a big bubba for little bugs for awhile. I'm a big German shepherd doggie when both big and regressed, and I love to play fetch and tug as well as give fluffy cuddles! I also feel like a human guy a good amount of the time :)

I'd love to make friends and hear from you sweetpeas! Tell me about your day, or whatever you like pumpkins :) I check my asks daily. I can't wait to hear from you kiddos!

Other fun facts about me: I make moodboards; and I can draw you pictures, and write you concepts! I love the 2000s, and 90s-2000s music, like Radiohead and Smashing Pumpkins... I also love cowboys and the west. I am even a musician! I adore animals and Minecraft. You can call me masc terms, like big brother, bubby, Chevy, papa, paws, Peanut.. etc <3

[jun3putt]

Mmm... the Benny friend gang...? (Benrey, Tommy, Bubby)

OR Forzen

Or canon Half-Life Gordon Freeman AUGH IDK!!!! ANY OF EM!!!

hi!!! first request HOORAY!! decided to draw forzen........ i cant beleive i've never drawn him properly he is so fun to draw.... request more forzen guys

[kiddo-chester]

My asks are open! Yay!!

This is a long winded post to explain that, but read on if you might like a buddy!

🦌🦆🐇🪿🐴🦘🐻🐌🐄

Hi tinies :) I am new on the tumblr scene so idk how this works, but I started this blog with the intention of making connections, ergo kiddo corner! I love talking to people and I would love to hear from you kiddos! You can look on my page to get an idea of my vibe :) You can request/ask/tell me about many things!!

Ask me to write cg concepts or headcanons :00 whether for a certain thing you've been struggling with recently or something you need to hear, my mama and big bubby love to contribute to these posts and both have the kindest hearts <3

Moodboards , gifsets or png requests (for colors, characters, animals, etc) , I really love making those and I love nostalgia

Talk to me as a big brother :)

I can make quick little sketches for you!!! I love drawing! I was previously a commission artist so I can draw people and animals :)

Ask me questions! I love answering questions :) I also love infodumping, so if you like fun facts I'm the guy! I love rocks and reptiles and traveling and the arts and so many things.

Tell me about you! Celebrate or check in or tell me about your interests! I would love to hear.

Talk to me about being FTM, having a traumagenic system, being spiritual amidst all those things, or anything about identity-related stuff. I don't mind sharing and I would love to help others if I can.

Ask me for advice! Little time advice, show reccommendations, spiritual advice, mental health, anything at all. I've struggled with my mental health a lot and found some things that work for me so I would love to help others too.

You can look in my pinned posts if you are wondering what you can call me. You can do anon emojis or not I dont mind :) you all are so cool and I've really enjoyed my time here so far. Happy day lovies! I hope this all makes sense!

[stormi-the-pup]

Gwen Stacy sister caregiver/flip moodboard!

Headcanons below the cut!

Gwen as a CG

She likes calling her little(s) “little bro/sis/sib”, or plays on that such as “bubby”, “sissy”, and/or “sibby”! She also calls her little(s) nicknames based on their favorite activities or animals.

For example, if you’re an artist, she would call you her little painter, or if you were a musician, she would call you a little rockstar!

As for names you call her, she prefers “big sis”, “sissy”, or something else along those lines.

Gwen loves to show off all the stuff you give her. A pretty rock? She puts them on her shelf with all the others! A drawing? It’ll be hung up next to her posters!

I like to imagine she’s a good singer, so she likes to sing lullabies or fun songs to her little(s)! Her voice is very calming.

She’ll also take you to concerts if you like that (and make sure you have the proper ear protection), because she enjoys it just as much!

If you want to go out for a swing with her, she makes sure and then triple checks that you’re secure before taking off.

If you start to take an interest in one of her hobbies (dance, drums, etc.) she is over the moon and super willing to teach you!

Can and will insist she do your makeup/hair/play dress up!

Gwen as a regressor

She’s an older regressor, usually around the age of 9.

She likes music a lot when she’s little, whether she’s playing it or just listening. Often times she’ll be wearing her headphones and dancing or singing along!

When Gwen is small, she likes to watch shows/movies that she did as a kid (Strawberry Shortcake, Lilo & Stitch, etc.)

I imagine she’s not so much of a person who likes toys, rather she likes to collect little mini figures like LPS or MLP blind bag toys.

Along with that, she doesn’t own many stuffed animals. She has some from Miles and the other spiders, but other than that she only really owns one or two that she’s had since she was a kid.

^ One is a lamb, one is a penguin!

Gwen doesn’t strike me as someone who uses pacis a lot, she prefers teethers or chewlery.

Other things: She loves hair clips, fake makeup/lipgloss, and rattles.

[bbeeohazardd]

krita crashed two times while i was working on this and i'm still annoyed about it

n e ways ghost au! i recently remembered @pistachi0art 's Ghost Au and decided to draw what my HLVRAI oc Stein would look like in that au because i thought it'd be fun!

basic story stuff under cut bc it got too long and i like less crowded organization lol

basic story beats were that he was living with his uncle Edward Nikita(not pictured) due to his uncle living in a place that gave him more job opportunities than where his parents lived, but then he ended up digging a bit too deep into strange happenings involving his uncle and his uncle ended up killing him(unclear exactly how it happened but electrocution was involved hence his whole appearance) and dumping his body somewhere in the woods to avoid any unwanted eyes on him

now Stein just kinda mainly resides in an abandoned power plant, but he also hangs out with Benrey sometimes, which is how he ends up meeting Gordon and Joshua, that first meeting is him freaking out about Joshua being in his building because holy shit this place is SO not structurally sound and children are SO squishy oh my god???? why did you bring him here???? but after that things are chill, also he's somehow related to Bubby, probably a relative on his mom's side? unclear! but that's a thing(actual Stein lore is so complicated and i've barely shared any of it i'm so sorry)

but yeah, other than all of that he just generally hangs out, he's SO chill if you ignore the all consuming rage

[bubbiethesaur]

LRA doodles

(Woe, silly doodles be upon ye)

One of my goals this year is to improve my art skills, so I’ve been trying to practice every day. And what better way to practice than to do silly LRA doodles?

[dcafanzine]

Hi everyone! We’re super excited to start introducing our contributors! Let’s let them introduce themselves!

————————————————————————

Greetings and Salutations! I am Beetle, also known as @/eldritch beetle, one of the Spot Artists for the Backstage Pass bonus zine! First time contributing to a fanzine, so it's a a huge honor to be working alongside so many amazing artists and writers I seen from this fandom! :D

Originally learned about the DCA through a couple random TikTok compilations recommended on YouTube back in early 2022 (honestly surprised to find out later on that they were from FNAF) and we've been running on a 2+ year long hype-fixation ever since. These silly dudes have had such a tremendously positive influence in my life, my artwork, and have gotten me through a lot of stuff. They literally mean the world to me. So I'm very excited for this project to come to life and hope y'all enjoy the beautiful and stunning masterpieces curated especially for both zines by everyone!! ♡

X/Twitter

————————————————————————

Hello hello! I'm Bubbie or @bubbiethesaur, one of the writers for the main and bonus zines. This is my first time contributing to a fanzine, and I'm over-the-moon excited to be working with so many talented people! While I've been a fan of FNAF ever since Markiplier's first ever playthrough, my DCA hyperfixation didn't start until I stumbled on Tumblr art of two silly skrunkly daycare attendants and I took a chance on a recommended fanfic—and then I was hooked. These jesters (and the fans around them) inspired me so much that they dragged me out of a 10+ year writing funk and reminded me why I love telling stories. I'm so excited for this fanzine to come out—ya'll are truly in for a real treat!

————————————————————————

Hi hi! I’m Kira (@ki-kosmo on Tumblr), and I’m the cover artist for the Backstage Pass bonus zine! I’ve been drawing these boys for years, and while I don’t doodle them as much, they still hold a very dear place in my heart. I’ve met so many cool people from the DCA community and I will be forever grateful for the fun times we’ve shared as a fan base.

I’d you’d like to check out my other silly drawings, I have a linktree with my other socials and sites. Go check it out!

[thebenriksai]

LORE OF OUR AU!!!! (a bit (BIG POST!!!))

Texting it while Aria Math is playing in my headphones hehe HELLO EVERYNYAN!! Recently there were only PigelOn's posts, but guess who is baAaAaAack~ In this post, I'm going to tell you about some of our AU lore, mostly about Alex, because she is a really interesting character. Let's dive in!

(My old drawing, scheme will all characters) Our AU is mostly very similar to the original HLVRAI series in terms of cascade resonance times. For example, we have a main protagonist (Nico, you can read about her in our blog hehe), a main villain (Alex herself), a mini-boss (Lee, about her later), and a best friend of the main protagonist (Toby, about him later too). We have times before the cascade resonance and after, in the HL2 timeline, which has additional characters. Our original characters are carefully written into the original HLVRAI series, for example, they are used to explain some off-screen and unexplained moments (Where does Benrey go all the time, why can Bubby use a noclip, and etc). So, as I was saying, Alex is the main villain in our AU. Or is she? In fact, she didn't want all that shit and was totally on the good side, helping TSST (The second science team from now on) with everything. She was just playing her own games. She had so much fun that she decided to continue this journey by force. And when Nico and others finally noticed it (they were really unhappy with it, obviously), she decided to give them a choice: they defeat her and get their "happy ending", or they will be forced to play her crazy twisted games forever. So, the battle has begun. I will not tell you more, for now. The post is too big already.

(Vortigaunt mural with siblings (kind of haha).)

If you get here, congratulations!!! You know, we need your help, guys. We have so much lore to tell you, so we got kinda lost in it hahah. That's why we are offering you to use our 'Ask' button! You can ask us something, or ask characters themselves! (all characters in our AU, first science team included). We will try to give a right and interesting answer! Please, don't hesitate and don't be afraid, we are really friendly people, hahah!

That's all for now. Byee!!!

-Blue Opal / Alex

[princess-of-anons]

So fun fact I am infamously terrible with drawing people, always get the proportions weird and all, but I figured I gotta draw these people some if I wanna survive and get some of my more specific art ideas for the Metamorphosis AU and Another Swap AU on paper.

Anyways, this was just me trying to warm up my ability to draw the Boomers before I ended up drawing at least one of each of the characters. I’m still trying to properly figure out drawing people, let alone old men but I think I did a pretty alright job with making Gman look both old and otherworldly. I did also draw Benrey and Gordon worms because they’re fun

Also I drew my interpretation for each scientist (and GMan’s) tie. Bubby’s is singed from his pyrokinesis, Tommy’s is meant to sorta reflect the default scientist ties is a fun way, Darnold’s has a bubbly design (like soda), Coomer’s I just made because it seemed fun, and GMan’s is…plain, intentionally meant to make his personality difficult to decipher.

Individual versions of the bottom three pics underneath

[strawbubbysugar]

I apologize if this is like out of pocket or anything and you just wanted to vent and not get replies or anything, but I wanted to say this, hopefully it’s okay:

I’m sorry your brain is being mean to you right now and that it’s hard to write. You don’t sound ungrateful at all, I feel like if I were in your shoes I’d feel the same way. Getting a bunch of interest and comments on fanfic stuff and then less interest and comments on your original stuff I’d imagine feels really disheartening, and anxiety would maybe make you feel like your story isn’t good enough or your ideas suck, and I’m so so sorry :(

I just want to make sure you know that you’re an amazing author, your stories are more than good enough, and your ideas DO NOT SUCK. I don’t think I’m alone in this when I say that your characters and stories take up lots of space in my head rent-free, and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about them! They’ve made me so happy and inspired creativity in me and help me get through my day when the world is shitty. The worlds you create are so magical and alive and in-depth and it’s so clear and obvious how much care and thought you put into everything you do!

I know it feels not great to not have as many people invested in your original stuff, but lemme tell you they are missing tf out. Not only are they missing out on your fantastic writing and drawings and art, but they’re also missing out on such a fun and wholesome community. It’s so fun seeing you answer asks and make doodles and I love the inside jokes in the little Bubby community you’ve created! We all have so much fun here learning lore and telling jokes and sharing art all pertaining to the amazing things YOU’VE created!

Thank you for sharing your art with us and thank you for answering our questions and thank you for commenting on our fanart of your stories and characters and thank you for sharing lore and tidbits and fun facts of your worlds! And also just thank you for being a really cool and understanding and supportive person :)

Genuinely such a wonderful thing to say, this made my entire year <3<3<3 I cannot express how grateful I am to have wonderful people like you enjoy my work <3<3<3

[decks-writing-blog]

Whatever the Fuck Benrey Is: Chapter Seventeen: Just a Peek

Chapter One

Previous Chapter

~

‘Aperture’s haunted.’ read Bubby’s text to the group chat several days after he’d left.

Gordon shouldn’t ask because he shouldn’t have even checked his phone and had only done so because it going off had reminded him he hadn’t put it on silent. At work, still sorting through Black Mesa’s recovered hard drives – so far nothing on Benrey had been found – wasn’t the time. But on the other hand… ‘What does that mean?’

It was Benrey who replied. ‘theres ghosts there’

Dr. Coomer’s reply came a second later. ‘It means the Aperture Science facility is inhabited by ghosts and/or demons. Both of whom are known for existing in or sometimes being trapped or bound to specific locations that are then referred to as being ‘haunted’. Sometimes they will also haunt specific people, following them when they move to a new house or just sticking with them throughout the day. One could perhaps say that you were once haunted like this Gordon, when you claimed a skeleton was following you that the rest of us couldn’t see. There are also haunted items, meaning that a ghost/demon is connected to that item.’ How did he type all that so fast? … Probably some cybernetic thing in his hands giving him superhuman texting speed. Gordon was a little jealous, he was used to it now but one-handed texting was still uncomfortably slow.

‘I know what the word haunted means. What I meant was, ‘please explain in what way the Aperture Science facility is supposedly haunted, Bubby’. What drew you to that conclusion?’

‘Should’ve just said that then, dumbass.’ Bubby replied at last. ‘I mean everyone’s dead. I had to break in to even get inside because corpses can’t open doors.’

‘How’d everyone die?’ Tommy asked.

‘I don’t know and I wasn’t sticking around to find out. I think I’m gonna get a job at NASA instead. They’re more ethical so less fun but I want to go to space anyway.’

‘Maybe we should go check out Aperture? They might need help. Like maybe they did a resonance cascade too.’ Gordon didn’t particularly like the thought of going to a place in the middle of something like that but they’d already dealt with one. They’d be more prepared this time too. If Aperture’s got more out of hand it could come back to bite them.

‘I don’t think that’s it. No one was injured and the air smelled bad. Worse than just normal death smell. It made me feel a bit unwell. I think it was poison.’

It would maybe be a good idea to make absolutely sure that whatever it was wouldn’t crawl up out of the facility and do who knows what. Also like with Black Mesa’s disaster, there might be survivors in need of help. And then there was the technology aspect of it. What all Aperture was working on was a mystery but if any of it was anything like some of Black Mesa’s projects, it was some pretty big stuff, potentially capable of making a big impact on the world. Whatever had been on the Borealis had certainly been a pretty big deal before it vanished a couple years ago, bringing Black Mesa’s spies – it had been a big enough deal to draw all three of them in – with it to never be heard from again. An event big enough that it had become the gossip of the whole Black Mesa facility for like a week, ending once and for all the ‘secret’ part of Black Mesa’s spies at Aperture being an open secret.

On the other hand though, it would be dangerous, the drive down there was multiple days and they were kind of in the middle of something right now. Finding Benrey’s files before someone else on the Black Mesa staff did was important. If they left for that long, someone else would take over the sorting job now that it had been started.

‘Maybe we wait for it to clear out a bit more then go investigate. Or just send other people.’ Gordon had a position of power in Black Mesa now, he could use that to his advantage. Aperture being their long term rival would make it justifiable as a company move too. He wouldn’t condone stealing their research but if they were all dead anyway or just as defunct as Black Mesa now was… Or they could maybe merge and become just the one big science tech company that he was trying to not let be super unethical anymore but Breen was still the boss and likely wouldn’t be willing to continue to bend to Gordon’s will as much as he had been for too much longer. They could still potentially do good things though. If they got there anyway. ‘For now, I gotta get back to work.’

His phone beeped again before he set it to silent and put it down but he ignored it. He was a professional. And Tommy and Dr. Coomer were literally in the room with him so if it was either of them had something important to say or relay from Benrey or Bubby, they could just tell him verbally.

~

By some bastion of luck one of the last already recovered hard drives contained the data on Dr. Coomer’s clones. The experiment had started with cloning mice, then rabbits, then monkeys before finally reaching human studies. Given that it was about cloning, Gordon shouldn’t be surprised to encounter the name ‘Harold Coomer’, especially since he’d decided to keep reading instead of moving on because he’d known of Coomer’s clones, but he kind of was anyway. In his defense it was late and they were staying overtime to finish sorting through the rest of the data so he was tired and his brain was a bit fried. Most of Black Mesa’s experiments being interesting didn’t make them not taxing to sort through.

Tearing his gaze off his screen, he looked up at Dr. Coomer sitting at the desk across from him. They hadn’t discussed what to do should any of them find Dr. Coomer or Bubby’s data. Anyone else at Black Mesa seeing it wouldn’t be as much of an issue as they weren’t being kept secret. But it might still contain the kind of info one or both of them didn’t want the friend group knowing. After all it was kind of like looking at medical records, right?

So Gordon should tell Dr. Coomer what he’d found. Maybe even ask him if he wanted the data deleted or stolen to be put solely into his possession the way they planned to do with Benrey’s. It’d be the polite thing to do. …. On the other hand though, Gordon was curious. It was natural to be curious about one’s super-powered friends, right? Since things had settled down, Gordon had made several attempts to talk to Dr. Coomer about his clones and cybernetics but while he always answered questions, he wasn’t often particularly forthcoming on the specifics of how it all worked. So delving a little bit further into his data couldn’t hurt, right? Just a peek, nothing more.

~

A few hours later, Gordon looked back up after having gone over the whole experiment. That was fine though because most of it had been about the clones and what had gone into trying to make each one more powerful than the last – resulting instead in each clone’s death, making the real Dr. Coomer stronger – and not too, too much about Dr. Coomer himself. Other than his literal medical records which Gordon had only skimmed for the scraps of information it had on his cybernetics. Most of which seemed to have been put in after the cloning had been completed as there wasn’t much about them. It was an entirely different experiment done by an entirely different department so it made sense that there wouldn’t be much.

With a sigh, he pushed back from his desk and stood to stretch. It was just him and Dr. Coomer in the office now. Tommy had left to feed Sunkist her dinner. And about an hour ago, after falling asleep on his keyboard, Darnold, had been shooed off to go home and rest. So now would be a good time to tell Dr. Coomer, Gordon had looked through his cloning records. But… it wasn’t that important, was it? Dr. Coomer wouldn’t care so… no need to share. Gordon should just sit back down and move on.

They were almost done, would’ve been done by now if not for Gordon’s distraction but no one needed to know about that. And then as Black Mesa’s members continued pulling stuff out and bringing it here for safe keeping until the far off distant date when the facility was functional again, Gordon and friends could sort through it right as it came in. Benrey’s stuff would show up eventually, no need to go down there themselves. And then Gordon could easily get a peek at it, just a peek, nothing more. He’d skim it to answer just a few questions before giving it to Benrey to do with as he pleased. Yeah, he hadn’t just skimmed Dr. Coomer’s clone stuff but it was less personal anyway, he’d be better with Benrey’s stuff. And then if he was lucky he’d get to peek at Bubby’s records too and possibly Dr. Coomer’s cybernetics stuff as well.

“You got terribly focused on something for a bit there,” Dr. Coomer said as Gordon sat back down. “Did you find something?”

“Uh…” Gordon should tell him. He’d literally asked and it wasn’t that personal so it was fine that Gordon had looked. “Yeah… um… an experiment that was kind of interesting, wanted to know more, got a bit sucked in on accident. We’re almost done though so… yeah, just a bit more.”

“Ooh, what was the experiment?”

“Light sabers, they were trying to make a real one.” Why was Gordon lying? It was fine. Maybe it was a bit weird to have read through the experiment data without letting Dr. Coomer know about it first but not a big deal. “They failed, unfortunately.” He had indeed skimmed through such an experiment earlier so at least he wasn’t making that up too.

“Ah, a shame. I quite liked Star Wars. Perhaps that is an idea we could return to in the near future. For now though, onwards and upwards.”

With a mostly clear conscious, Gordon got back to work. He’d come clean about looking through it later, wouldn’t even have to admit that he’d lied initially. Just causally bring up that he’d come across it and had read through some of it. Not a big deal at all.

***

“It’ll take longer but if we just keep sorting through all the experiment data as it comes in, your stuff, if its intact, is bound to show up eventually.” Gordon had stayed over at work late to finish sorting through the rest of the stuff they already had only to come home with this. “And no one seems suspicious that its just us and Darnold looking through all of it so the risk of someone else seeing it first is relatively low.”

“Yeah but then I don’t get to participate in the heist.” Of course it would’ve been easier if they’d already had his records waiting to be sorted but it also would’ve been more boring. Going and finding them in the facility itself was far more interesting and would give Benrey something to do other than hang out in the basement for a couple hours a day, trying in vain to find any sort of ‘true form’ while the others to did all the real work for him.

Gordon sighed as he resumed heading into kitchen. “Feeling particularly urgent about it?”

Benrey followed, stopping in the doorway. “Uh… guess so, yeah.” Every failed shape shifting session in the basement, though nowhere near as long or arduous as the first, made him more frustrated with the question. “It’s your fault for making me care ���bout it even though it doesn’t matter.”

Gordon opened the fridge to stare at its insides. A thing he did frequently. Why was it so hard for him to decide what to eat if he was so hungry he had to eat two or three times a day every day? “I suppose it is, huh? But I think it matters. You might not be the only one of your kind, wouldn’t that be cool to know?”

That thought had come to Benrey multiple times since Gordon had first brought it up and refused to completely dissipate no matter how many times he pushed it away. What if he was an alien with a whole alien race out there somewhere and maybe even a family he’d been taken from Though… “If I’m not the only one, there’s a whole bunch of others out there on Xen just like me, what then, huh? You gonna help me reunite with them?” No, of course he wouldn’t. Going back to Xen would be silly after the resonance cascade.

“Uh… maybe. I mean we’d been going into Xen for years just fine. I don’t even know how long, not my department, but longer than I’d been working there for sure. Not sure how we got there the first time but if we did it once we could do it again. And then once we have one means of travel there and back we just need to not fuck around with anymore resonance experiments and it’ll probably be fine.”

It would still be a risk though. And it would certainly be a lot of work just for Benrey. … No, not just for him. Gordon was a scientist, he wanted to study things and see if he could make a portal to Xen happen just to see if he could. That was fine though because it would still be partially for Benrey, even if only a little, and that would be pretty neat. Assuming he was an alien anyway and not made in the lab from ground up alien plants or something.

“So yeah,” Gordon continued as he finally selected last night’s leftovers from the fridge and moved them to the microwave. “If it turns out you’re an alien and if you wanna meet your people or whatever, I’m sure the others will be willing to help see if we can make it happen. It’ll certainly give us something to do, huh? And uh… speaking of that, I guess tomorrow we’ll meet up with the others discuss if we actually wanna make the drive to get your stuff ourselves or if it might be better to just wait.”

That trip really would be just for Benrey’s sake. No one but him would benefit from it but Gordon was seemingly still open to it. He certainly wasn’t shutting it down anyway even though he was right in it not being strictly necessary. … Probably more of him being nice because he was lonely, traumatized, and scared of being alone. Benrey shouldn’t take advantage of that. “I could walk. Long walk though so uh… you’ll have to find someone else to cuddle at night ‘til I get back. Tommy probably wouldn’t, don’t think he likes touching a whole lot, Coomer or Bubby might though. Sunkist don’t like to be held but she might lay on you if you ask nice.”

“Oh, um nah, dude, walking would takes ages. If you really don’t wanna wait, I’ll uh… drive you down there even if the others don’t wanna join us. Don’t worry about it.”

Benrey could insist and maybe even head out right now. Gordon couldn’t stop him. It would maybe even be the right thing to do since this was without a doubt Gordon’s need to please raising up. Encouraging him in it might not be good for him. … Or maybe it would be good for him and help him eventually get better about it. Benrey barely knew how his own mind and emotions worked, anyone else’s, especially a human’s, was beyond him.

Also it was a very long walk just to get to the facility and then another not as long but still long walk from there to get to the part that his data was housed in. And then all the way back doubled both. The second long walk was inevitable either way as the trams no longer worked but it’d be less boring with company – even if said company would also mean he wouldn’t be cutting as many corners – especially when cutting out the long, lonely boring first part of the trip. So… “Okay. Thanks.”

Gordon hummed an acknowledgment, patting Benrey lightly on the shoulder with his gun hand as he walked past him, bearing his sad microwaved leftovers. “Uh… play something so I got something to watch while I eat?”

“Sure.” Benrey had paused his game to come chat with Gordon upon him returning home so he had no complaints about doing so and followed. They would talk about it more tomorrow. If they decided to wait, Benrey would just go by himself and walk.

~

The conversation was surprisingly brief. Gordon suggested they wait, Benrey said he didn’t want to and would’ve preferred to walk instead. Ultimately they all agreed to go.

With how long the trip to the old Black Mesa facility was and how deep they were planning to delve into it to find what they were looking for, they’d be spending at least one night there, probably more like two but perhaps more. And thus Gordon and the rest of the Science Team bought what they called ‘camping gear’. No tent though, the one thing Benrey associated with the idea of camping.

“We’ll be indoors,” Gordon explained on the drive home when asked, “so a tent’s not really needed. Sleeping bags will do just fine.”

“Lame. Guess it’s not a camping trip though so… whatever.” Benrey had got to see and touch the display tents in the store anyway so not having one was fine.

Gordon sighed. “I really gotta take you out more, huh? Being less lazy would probably be for good me too so… how ‘bout we go real camping sometime? I’ve never been but how hard can it really be?”

“Ooh, where?”

“I don’t now. Maybe somewhere in Colorado. They’re just north of us and supposedly got good outdoorsy areas. Could probably go skiing or something too. …. Or uh, maybe not since you’re cold-blooded so the cold might not be fun for you. So maybe we should stick to the desert.”

“Nah, I wanna go skiing, looks fun.” And the snow, was it really as soft as it looked in games?

“All right, it’s a plan then, I guess. I’ve certainly earned a vacation. So we’ll do that sometime in the near future once were done with… you know.”

From there it wasn’t long before they reached home. The plan had been to pack as soon they were through the door but with only a little bit of prodding, Benrey got Gordon to play some games with him first. They were leaving early tomorrow morning so it was important they get some good game time in today. Gordon did eventually put his foot down though; disappointing but probably for the best.

Some of their supplies were provided by Black Mesa as the trip was being made under the guise of it being another salvage run. Benrey coming along and thus being another body to put a pack on apparently meant extra could be brought. The fact that he wasn’t planning on eating or drinking while there made it a bit annoying to be loaded up with water bottles and food rations but he was being allowed to bring the Game Boy Advance and some games in his pack too so he’d put up with it.

Benrey helped with the packing at first but Gordon apparently found issue with his packing style and shooed him away. Leaving him to just wonder around the bedroom and watch. Or he could head off to play more games until it was bedtime; Gordon could come join him again when he was done packing. But someone needed to make sure he didn’t forget anything important such as the HEV suit still sitting in its box in the closet. He could of course be planning on not taking it out until morning but he was forgetful sometimes and it should probably be put on charge tonight to make sure it was fully powered when they go to the facility so… “Don’t forget the HEV suit.”

Gordon paused and looked up at him. “Why?”

What did he mean ‘why?’ “Might be dangerous.” The deeper one went into a dungeon, the more dangerous it was after all. Not that the facility was the exact same as a video game dungeon but it was close enough that the same basic principle had to apply, right? Especially since it had during their first journey through it.

“Maybe but… no. I’d rather not. It’s heavy, a pain to put on, and probably out of power by now.”

“Yeah, that’s why should bring it out now, put it on charge so its all juiced up tomorrow.”

“I don’t have anything to charge it with and don’t really wanna bother anyway.”

Since the idea had first been brought up, Benrey had been assuming that Gordon putting the HEV suit back on was part of the plan. Unlike their first trip back when they’d only intended to venture into the living area of the facility, they were going deeper. Not as deep as they’d gone in their initial journey through the facility but said journey had proven that deeper meant more dangerous. At the time ‘more dangerous’ had translated to ‘more fun’ for Benrey. Now that he knew and cared more about how weak and fragile Gordon was though that wouldn’t be the case anymore. Especially if he was going without the one thing that had kept him alive that first journey. If he lost another limb, it was probably gone for good. … Or if he died, he wouldn’t come back.

“But uh… what if you die? That’d be a bummer.” … More than a bummer actually. Once the thought had made Benrey sad, now it was making him squirm. Was this what anxiety was? A raising tension caused by a fear that wasn’t sourced by a proper threat, just the potential of one. No wonder Gordon was always so twitchy and unable to hold still whenever he got anxious. It was a very unpleasant feeling. Benrey would like to stop feeling it … “So you should wear the HEV suit just in case.”

Gordon looked back down and continued packing. “Nope, not happening.”

“What if there’s more zombies or the lightening aliens or… or the squid guys? What if the military shows up again?” Almost anything except maybe the first was almost certain death if Gordon got hit without protection, right?

“I doubt any of that’ll happen.”

“Could though. What if we run into more… radiation stuff? That’s bad without the HEV suit for normal humans, right? Or an earthquake hits and uh… a wall falls on you or something. Probably survivable with the HEV suit but not without it.”

Gordon paused and looked up at him again, even straightening to fully tun towards him. “You really worried about me?”

“You’re weak, easy to kill, and wouldn’t come back if you died.”

His confused expression turned into the more familiar annoyed one. “Dude, there’s no need to word it like that. It sounds like a threat.”

Benrey shrugged. “Is true though. Maybe I should just go by myself after all.” In hindsight, he should’ve just gone when first deciding he wanted to look at his records. He’d have already had them by now if he had… assuming the computers they’re on were still intact anyway.

“No, no, no. We’re going with you because we already said we would. And we’re already signed up for the thing so can’t back out now.” Gordon walked around the bed to stand in front of Benrey. Looking down at him, his expression softened again. “I’ll be fine though, ‘kay? I got this,” he held up his gun hand, “and I know how to use it. And all you guys are all kinds of powerful so… I’ll be fine. If I do get hit or something, you could just bleed on me a bit and that’ll fix it. We already tested that, remember?”

“I guess so, yeah.” Logically it made no sense to be so worried and normally Benrey wouldn’t be. Worrying about things wasn’t his style. It never accomplished anything, much easier to just roll with whatever happened as it happened. None of it could permanently hurt him anyway so why concern himself much with any of it? But he wouldn’t be able to just roll with it if Gordon died or got hurt in some other permanent way that couldn’t be fixed.

Somehow Gordon had gone from a fun fascination to worming his way into Benrey’s brain and making him feel all sorts of things he didn’t normally feel. Some of those were pleasant feelings but this was very much the opposite. This feeling sucked even more than Gordon having made him care about his past and whether or not he had a true form. And that was saying something because that sucked pretty bad. Even worse would be if Benrey’s newfound anxieties did come true.

“You okay?” Gordon asked, drawing Benrey’s gaze back up to him. He was giving Benrey a mildly concerned look. … His annoyed looks were more fun. That was the problem with getting closer to him; he was annoyed with Benrey less often and worried for him more instead. People being worried for him sucked. The only concern Gordon or anyone should be feeling in regards to Benrey is concern for what kind of mischief he might get up to. But Benrey was concerned for him too, meaning they were concerned for each other. Which was stupid.

“I’ve never felt like this before. I don’t like it. It’s lame.”

“Like what?”

Part of Benrey didn’t want to say but Gordon had told him he could talk to him about things and this was certainly a thing. “Anxious.”

Gordon stared at him for a beat or two in silence before letting a slight chuckle. “Oh dude, being anxious sucks so much, believe me, I know. But uh… uh…” The mirth left his voice as he expression to something more serious. “You’re uh… really actually anxious that I might die or something?”

Benrey had just got done saying so. But by now he was mostly used to Gordon needing things repeated for him. “Yeah or getting hurt in a way that can’t be fixed again. Could lose you other hand or… a foot or something.”

“Please don’t put that thought in my head. But uh… wow, um… didn’t think you… Being anxious sucks. So how ‘bout, because I can’t put the suit back on even if I’d wanted to, if it’ll make you feel better, I stay at the back of the group?

“Middle of the group. Something could sneak up behind.”

“Okay. Middle of the group then. And I promise I’ll be careful as I can be because trust me, I don’t wanna die or lose another body party either. That help you feel a bit less anxious? I know it’s not that easy but… you know, there’s only so much we do about anxiety while still living our lives.”

“Guess it’s better than nothing.” And once they were deeper in the facility Benrey would stick close to him, make sure nothing take advantage of how weak he was.

“Good. Now, I should finish packing. But first uh… I um… uh…” He lifted his hand as if intended to touch Benrey’s shoulder or perhaps go a bit higher to his face. He did neither though as he grimaced and pulled away instead. “You’re a good friend. Thanks for uh… that, being a good friend. It’s… I appreciate it.” Before he’d even finished speaking he was back pedaling, going back around to resume packing, doing so with a bit more intensity than before.

Sweet. Benrey was a good friend. That somehow made the negative feelings Gordon inspired in him more bearable. Being anxious sucked but at least it made him a good friend. … Which also meant Gordon being worried about him, made Gordon a good friend too. It was still uncalled for and kind of annoying but maybe it wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

~

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