#drew this a few weeks ago and as usual forgot to post to tumblr

[isfrun]

trinyvale triplets sleeping arrangements 💤✨

[redraw of the sleeping beauty by john collier]

[the-script-demands-it]

Welcome to...

Rad's enormous pile of abandoned MetaWare WIPs/things that ARE finished but I didn't like them/WIPs that I might come back to/other stuff!

Below the "keep reading" button will be a detailing of all of these images! Please be aware that this WILL be an extremely long post, so... Just a warning. There'll be a second post after this that will also contain the rest of the art that I wasn't able to squeeze in here. (Even 30 pics per Tumblr post isn't enough for this...)

Let's start off with the most recently abandoned WIP!

I started drawing this about two weeks after Chris' birthday (her bday is January 4th) and I was really happy with it, but then I had NO idea how to pose Izzy. It's a bummer since I liked how Chris' hair came out, but alas! (Happy belated birthday, Chris!)

Possibility of finishing?: Yeah, maybe. Prob will have to change Izzy's pose if I really want to finish it though.

Oh hey, I posted this a few months ago on my other blog!

Really wish I finished it, but now that I'm looking back on it, there's definitely some improvement to be had here. I don't like whatever's going on with her face. You can tell that I gave up while trying to make the background as well. Poor Hope!

Possibility of finishing?: I'll have to completely redraw this if I plan on finishing it, but I've definitely got a feeling that I'll come back to this someday.

Hmph!

This one's actually pretty finished, I've just never posted it anywhere before because it's such a small little doodle. I like it though! Nari in a Gir tassel hat is always welcome.

Possibility of finishing?: It's already done. Don't plan on editing it!

(This happens on the rude route!)

It's basically just a proof of concept, and a VERY minimal one at that, but I think it's got some merit! Not enough people talk about that Chris Vs Aspen scene, honestly.

Possibility of finishing?: Sometime this year maybe...??? I don't plan on abandoning this forever, I just don't really know when I'll get around to it.

AUTISM BLAST PT. 1

Hey, remember that art I had pinned on my other blog for a while? I was planning on redrawing it, but I only ever managed to complete one part of it until I forgot about it... It's definitely an upgrade from the original version, though I can do better than this nowadays.

Possibility of finishing?: I'm DEFINITELY going to redraw this someday. I need a new pinned post, damn it!

Thx ^]

Okay, here's some context for these two. I got an anonymous ask on my other account saying that they liked my MetaWare PFP and I thought that it would be a great idea if I responded to it with some art and also turn that same post into an announcement for my MetaWare sideblog (this one!), but that of course did not actually happen.

Possibility of finishing?: NO.

Nari looks so... "off" in this picture.

I like how I drew Hope, but ergh... that is NOT Nari. I don't know how I managed to make her look like a completely different character in this one, but I do NOT like it.

Possibility of finishing?: Nah, I think I'm done with this pic.

Woah, scary!

I actually touched this one up a bit before sending it here. It used to look MUCH more incomplete, but it's basically done now besides from the hair being missing 'n all.

Possibility of finishing?: I might draw more MetaWare stuff with drastic lighting in the future, but I don't plan on revisiting this specifically.

Le miaow miaows.

I worked on Hope before sending this because she looked kinda off, but I think she looks OK now. You can see that this isn't really what my usual art style looks like. I was trying to mix together the original MetaWare sprite art style and the style SparkBag used in the polaroid anniversary art he made, and I think I did just fine.

Possibility of finishing?: It's basically already done! Coloring it would probably make it cooler, but I don't think I'll ever do that.

This won't be the last time I try to use eyes symbolically.

I still REALLY want to revisit this again. It's great! It's magnificent! I just did NOT have the ability to execute it properly back when I made it a ton of months ago, so I just didn't do it. Still don't know if I do now, but it's worth a shot. (This was basically just another proof of concept, by the way.)

Possibility of finishing?: Absolutely! I'll try to get to this sometime soon this year.

GRILLING START ! ! !

Yep, this was based off of Papyrus' "Dating Start!" minigame! Just another proof of concept or... Okay I don't know what else to call these. Like, they're definitely NOT finished nor are they actual fleshed out sketches, what else am I supposed to call them???? I think it's cool though.

Possibility of finishing?: Don't think I'll be ditching this idea anytime soon. Seems kinda simple to draw too, I'll get to it sometime.

Lookin' pretty cute!!

Context for this one: It was gonna be a 3 part comic or something with Hope drawing Nari's bear fursona. Never actually made the comic though, but I DID make her fursona!!! It's the one right below this one, actually.

Possibility of finishing?: Nope.

BEAR NARI BARI LET'S GO

Personally, I think this is adorable. When drawing people's fursonas I always kinda make them more animal than anthropomorphic, but I think it leads to pretty cute art!

Possibility of finishing?: It's already done!

I was just testing out a brush with this one, I think.

It's a cute little doodle, don't have much to say about it though! I WILL say that the bear plushie was a bit inspired by my own plush I have at home, though this one is much smaller than mine.

Possibility of finishing?: Nah, it's just a little doodle.

Ingo Nari... Ingri... Angry!?!

iiii really think I made the hat too big. Like... WAY too big. Don't really like how her face came out, but the body itself is pretty OK. I based it too much on Ingo's original pose though, kinda looks like I just put Nari's head on his head LMAO

Possibility of finishing?: This is basically already finished, though I might draw Nari cosplaying as Ingo again. Why not?

(Bonus Ingri!)

Nari in a hoodie!

Don't exactly remember what this was for. Either it was for an AU of mine or someone else's AU. Her front hair's kinda too far down though, I had a bit of a habit making her face REALLY small compared to her hair in my old art.

Possibility of finishing?: Nay!

Wow, Nari with an eye AND eyebrows! Who woulda thunk it.

Her hair is much puffier than previous versions in this one. Why? Dunno. She looks pretty cool AND cute in this though!

Possibility of finishing?: It's already complete.

My polar bear plush makes a cameo in this one! Say hi!

I had to edit this one a SHIT ton before sending this final picture. I wish I had a pin that said "I HATE DRAWING METAWARE STYLE NOSES" because I loathe them. There were other reasons why I didn't like the original version, but I was annoyed with the nose the most. Really happy how this came out though!

Possibility of finishing?: I just finished it right now. (I'll probably be posting this on its own sometime soon)

Some original characters...!? Unthinkable!

This features Lumi (Metolefrul-indus' fan character) and an old version of Rowan (my fan character)! I changed Rowan's design and personality soon after this, so I don't think this interaction with Lumi and Rowan will actually ever happen... Sorry Lumi! 'Twas just a little doodle.

Possibility of finishing?: NEVER.

Last but not least (for this post, anyway), is this Chris and Izzy sketch!

Some pals requested this during a stream and this was all I managed to make of it... I'm so sorry!!!!!!! They were good prompts!!! I'll finish it one day I swear!!!!

Possibility of finishing?: Soon!

PHEW WE'RE DONE FOR THIS POST. We have 20 more to go in the next one! Might post it next week because this is tiring holy hell. Glad to show these WIPs off to the world though!

P.S. I'm going to skip a few images seen in the huge pic at the beginning! Some were already completed and I'll just post those on their own orrrr I just don't want to review 'em.

[silver-chasm]

A week ago, I made these icons of all my fursonas with all these pride flags (cause they're all trans lol). Two have a few extra flags/symbols on them, representing me

Two of the symbols you see here aren't lgbt ones. I'm not saying that what they represent should be part of the lgbt community, just that they're just as much a part of me as my queer identity

An explanation of who my fursonas are and what the flags are under the cut. I tried to be brief but some of these are a bit lengthy

1. Toxic Chasm

They're my main fursona (and the namesake of this blog). E is something called a Monsuno Sapien, a human mutated by alien essence (the species comes from the Monsuno series). She is me but more grounded and more at peace than what I was when I created him. Despite the grotesque and intimidating appearance, xe is compassionate and gentle. Chasm means a lot to me

The flags/symbols:

The bandana - genderqueer:

Genderqueer is a term that encompasses anyone who not only fall outside of the binary but also gender nonconforming people (those who "queer" their gender)

Chasm is genderqueer, partly because they contain the colours of the flag. Ze also challenges the idea of anthropomorphism with hir existence, much like how I seem to challenge the gender binary with my own existence

The garland - bigender

Bigender people have two genders. These two genders can be binary or nonbinary. A bigender individual may experience both of their genders simultaneously or shift between the two

In my case, I'm a man and a demiwoman at the same time ^-^

The hearts - bisexual and asexual

Bisexual is when you're sexually attracted to more than one gender. Asexual is when you don't experience sexual attraction. Asexuals may also still experience romantic attraction

Biromantic asexuals, like me, are physically unable to experience sexual attraction but are able to experience romantic attraction to more than one gender

The infinity symbol - neurodivergence

One of the non LGBT symbols. Neurodivergent people are those with neurodevelopmental conditions (such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia, etc) and mental health conditions (such as BPD, bipolarity, OCD, etc) and similar conditions, like schizophrenia. The infinity symbol is prominently used by autistic people, representing both the diversity of autism and neurodivergence

I'm 90% sure that I'm autistic. The other 10% is my anxiety keeping me in check

2. Korong

She is the fursona who I've had the longest (and was my primary fursona before creating Chasm). They're a giant monstrous dropbear with squid tentacles coming from her back and a second mouth on their belly. She is an absolute glutton. They are also the kind of being who would gloat about her power before trying to devour you

The flags:

The bandana - demigirl

Demigirls feel a partial but not complete connection to being a girl or woman. It is a nonbinary identity

Korong represented a past version of myself. Naturally, as I realised more about myself, she would change with me. They were never really "womanly", more monstrous than anything else

The flowers - a former vore pride flag

No, you didn't misread. This is the other non-lgbt symbol. Vorarephilia (shortened to vore) is a fetish where pleasure is derived from the idea of one being eating another (eg. snake eating a mouse, a giant holding someone in their mouth, etc). It's quite broad and typically fantastical in nature. The colours you see there belonged to a flag designed by a user here on tumblr, a genuine attempt at creating a pride symbol for vorarephiles. It wasn't a flag used outside of here. The creator has since deleted the post describing the flag, almost effectively wiping it from the internet

Korong is an embodiment of my vorarephilia. Her monstrous appearance also reflects a deep-seated shame toward this part of me I've had for years (and all for what? Strange thoughts?)

When I saw that flag and what it meant, I guess it gave me permission to feel something else towards this part of me. On top of the, the creator was reblogging vore positivity posts and posts where people were using their flag and being proud

For the longest time I thought there was something wrong with me. They showed that it's okay to be like this

Originally, I was going to draw the flag itself. I pivoted when I found that the original post (and the positivity posts) had been deleted. I drew it as hyacinths (flowers that represent grief and sincerity) because, as silly as it seems, I was dismayed that the flag and the little, safe, accepting corner of the internet had vanished. After all, what is left is a blue and purple symbol of mockery, with people disgusted that someone would think like that

I'm tired of feeling shame. As I said before, they're just strange thoughts that I cannot control. Nothing more

3. Hognose

They're a friendly Goodra, a slug dragon Pokemon. Much like the snake they're named after, Hognose has an upturned snout and a forked tongue. They're quite the skilled baker, with their favourite recipe being apple pie. They like cooking for their friends

The flag:

The bandana - agender

Agender people lack a gender, have a neutral or indefinable gender or don't identify with the concept of gender

Hognose doesn't have a gender. I forgot to give them one when creating them. Their gender expression does lean somewhat to femininity

4. Lantern

They're a baki, a goomba-like enemy from the Drawn to Life series. Technically, they've existed longer than Korong but I never considered them as a fursona. They were the mascot of my old blog thelanternwielder. They're a quiet being, tending to watch from a distance. Their eyes can cast light when its dark. They don't mind being carried by their handle (just don't swing them around too much)

The flag:

The bandana - nonbinary

Nonbinary people are those whose gender identity falls outside the man/woman binary. It's an umbrella identity, as there are many ways of not fitting in the binary

Lantern is another fursona I forgot to give a concrete gender to. And when I remembered, it didn't really make sense to gender them. They've always been a little bit unknown and mysterious, so their gender is vague and undefined to me

5. Aster

They're a fantail centipede/bee hybrid from space. Their hive lives in a moon above a resource abundant planet they collect and harvest from. Aster was one of the workers who became curious about what was beyond their planet and moon hive. So, they left and became a vagabond explorer among the stars

The flags:

On the left - agender

As it was stated, agender can mean 'genderless' and it can refer to those who don't identify with the concept of gender. Aster falls into the latter category as gender is a bizarre and foreign concept to them

On the right - intersex

Intersex people are those who were born with variation in sex characteristics that are 'atypical' from male and female sex characteristics. This can manifest in a number of ways, as sex is made up of several components. Intersex people can have any gender identity

In Aster's case, they are completely sexless. Their anatomy does not conform to the 'typical' sexes of humans (male and female). They are typical for their species, as many workers tend to be sexless

6. Hugs

He is a spotted hyena pyromancer who dances with fire. He's all about having fun and showing off his skill. He's easygoing and relaxed. His power comes from cinnabar he's imbued with

The flag:

The bandana - transgender

Being transgender is not identifying with the gender assigned to you at birth. Contrary to what some may assume, this does include nonbinary people (what do you think the white stripe in the flag represents?)

Hugs is trans guy. He's the only one here who has a binary gender

7. Alezan

He's the only child among my fursonas and the only one who was designed by someone else. They were designed by chibitacolord (here on tumblr!) He's an elfish fox child whose design is based on the raposa from Drawn to Life. Alezan mostly lives in the woods by themself, proclaiming himself to be 'the prince of the woods'. They're quite mischievous and playful. He loves flowers. They would be a florist if he was older

The flag:

The garland - genderflux

This is when the intensity of a particular gender changes. It can be considered a type of genderfluidity where the gender changes between something and nothing

Alezan is boyflux. The intensity of being a boy changes for them. Being so young, he doesn't quite have all the words to describe how he feels sometimes

8. Lasso

They're a strange being who has the body of an ox, the head of a humanoid crab and draconic wings. Their design is based on lamassu, ancient Mesopotamian guardian deities, and my Chinese and Western zodiac signs. Lasso was a being who was created at the edge of reality itself. As a result, they're incredibly inquisitive. They are also quite protective once they get attached to you

The flag:

The bandana - aitherogender

This is a xenogender. Some people feel that usual language around gender isn't able to describe the gender identity they experience, so they use metaphors to describe it. Aitherogender is an ethereal and otherworldly gender that is almost impossible to describe with written or spoken medium. It was originally intended for neurodivergent people but anyone can use the term

Given where Lasso came from, it would be likely that their gender wouldn't conform to human expectation or understanding of gender, let alone be able to be described in human language (or any language). I just thought it would be neat for them to have an otherworldly gender when they themself are otherworldly

[nerdettedreamteam]

robstar week 2019: day one

hey guys!! i don’t usually post my stories here but since it’s robstar week i thought now would be a good time to share what i wrote on this platform! i’m actually kind of nervous since i don’t know what feedback to expect or if i even get any at all, but i think overall this will be fun! me and @samdraws715 collaborated this year on prompts, so she drew her art for the prompt and i made a fic surrounding what she drew. i enjoyed it a lot to be honest!! you can check out the artwork she posted on her instagram! (which is the same @ as her tumblr) anyways, enjoy! and stay tuned for tomorrow!

Wayne Manor

Things in Titans Tower were peaceful for the last few days, which gave the titans much needed relaxation time. This led to Beast Boy and Cyborg playing video games against each other for most of the time the teens were home. With the free time they had, it gave Raven time to meditate, and Starfire time to tend to Silkie.

Robin however, just did the same thing he usually did when it was a busy week: just trained to keep sharp, and he didn’t mind watching his friends partake in their activities either.

Robin sat on the end of the couch next to Beast Boy and Cyborg who were playing their fifth round of video games for the week. Watching them banter over a game was amusing to him, for he knew the exact feeling of being caught up in a game as well. That’s how their free time for the week went so far, when suddenly Robin heard his communicator give off two short rings. He turned his attention away from the T.V and pulled out the device from his belt. He then remembered why the communicator rung in the first place, and realized what day it was. “Crap, why today?” The Boy Wonder asked himself as he slumped into the couch for a brief moment. He took a quick glance around the room and quietly got up off the couch and made his way to his own room, hoping no one would notice him leaving.

The door behind Robin closed with a whoosh and Starfire, who had been in the room the whole time with her pet larvae looked up and saw that Robin wasn’t in the room. “Friends, where do you suppose Robin went?”

Too wrapped up in their game, the boys didn’t answer her. Raven peeked open one eye and spoke to Starfire, hardly moving from her position. “Check his room, he probably went there.”

Starfire gave a light smile and headed off to find him.

Meanwhile in his room, Robin pushed back his hair and sighed. He turned on his computer and called his former mentor, who answered him almost instantly. He was greeted with the sight of a man who he hadn’t seen in a long while. He had almost forgotten what he had looked like. However, he was behind the mask, which was definitely not the first time he had seen him like that.

“Hello, Dick.”

“Bruce,” was all Robin responded with. He was used to talking to him but it had been so long since the last time he did. He didn’t know what to expect from the man.

“It’s been a while, how are you?” Bruce spoke with a low but warm tone to his voice.

“I’m fine. Sorry I’ve… been busy.”

“Crime rates for your city have been fairly low, lately.”

Robin rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeahhh…” he paused. “but I’ve been keeping on top of my training in my free time, and—“

“You do realize what day it is, don’t you, Dick?”

“Uh-huh, that’s kind of why I called.”

“Kind of?” Bruce said with a light smile.

Robin playfully rolled his eyes. “Okay, that is why I called.”

“Hmm.” Bruce paused for a short second. “When are you going to come?”

“Probably right now,” Robin looked at the nearest clock to check the time, then he turned back to his computer screen. “Wait, why are you out as Batman at this time of day? It’s not even noon yet.”

“I’m working on a case, I just left a couple hours ago. That’s all you need to know. I’ll try to be back before you get there, I’m almost done.”

“Oh, okay.” Robin said. “So… should I dress up, or?”

“You don’t have to, just because you’re visiting me doesn’t mean it’s formal.”

“Yeah, that’s true, I guess. So… I’ll see you there?”

Bruce nodded. “See you, Dick.”

Robin closed his computer and sighed once again. He stood up, and as if on queue, Starfire poked her head inside his room. “Richard?”

He turned around once he heard her sweet voice call out his name. His smiled when he heard her say his real name. It always gave him butterflies whenever she used it. “Hey, Star.”

“I apologize if I am intruding on your privacy, I merely wished to know why you had suddenly left.”

“Don’t worry, you weren’t intruding at all, I was just dealing with personal stuff.”

“Such as?”

Robin rubbed the back of his neck. “Well… you know Batman, right?”

Her emerald eyes lit up. “Oh yes, I have heard quite a few stories about him. I also recall you telling me about him once or twice before.”

He smiled again. He always liked how she remembered all the small things. He continued. “And you know he was the one who trained me to become Robin?”

Starfire nodded.

“Well, I forgot I was supposed to visit him today since it’s been so long since the last time I went to see him, and I was about to head out for that right now.”

“That sounds lovely. It is nice you are going to do the catching up with him. I am sure he will be happy to see you in person after such a long time.” Starfire said with a smile.

“I hope so.”

Starfire tucked strands of her hair behind her ear. “I suppose I will see you once you return. I hope you have a wonderful time,” she leaned forward to kiss his head and turned around and began to walk out of Robin’s room.

Robin watched her start to leave, but as he did, he came up with an idea. “Starfire, wait!” He reached out for her hand and held onto it, causing the princess to turn back around. “Come with me.”

Starfire was surprised at this. “Robin, are you certain? I do not wish to intrude on your personal discussions.”

“You won’t be intruding on anything serious, I’m sure of it,” he told her. “C’mon Star, it’ll be fine, I promise.”

“Oh, I’d love to, but… does Batman know?”

“Know what?”

“About… us?”

“Oh. Well… no, I didn’t tell him that yet,” Robin said sheepishly. “but I’m sure he’ll be fine with it, especially once he sees you. Besides, even if he doesn’t like that we’re together, I’ll be the one that gets the talk from him. He’ll just have to get used to it.”

Starfire thought for a moment. “Very well, I will come with you.”

The two of them left the tower on Robin’s motorcycle without any of the other titans noticing. In a matter of time they arrived at the manor. They stepped out and arrived at the front of the door leading inside. Robin sucked in a breath and rang the doorbell before hearing the intercom being turned on. He then heard a voice from the other side, a voice that didn’t sound like Bruce at all.

“Who is it?” It asked.

Robin recognized the accent instantly and smiled. “Hey, it’s me.”

“So it is. Just a moment.” The voice said before turning off the microphone. Robin and Starfire only had to wait a moment before they heard the door being unlocked and opened, and out came Alfred, with a smile forming on his face once he saw Robin. He looked just as proper as Robin remembered.

“Alfred! I’m so happy to see you,” Robin said happily.

“I am glad to see you as well, master Richard,” Alfred said as he put a hand on Robin’s shoulder. His eyes then shifted to Starfire. “I see you’ve brought a girl with you,” he said to Robin as his eyes scanned Starfire.

“Yeah, Alfred, this is Starfire,” Robin gestured to her. “She’s one of the members of the team,” Robin spoke as Starfire held out her hand.

“It is a pleasure to meet you,” Starfire smiled.

“Ah, yes, of course,” Alfred smiled back and shook her hand. He then open the front door wider. “Won’t you two come in?”

The two teens walked in and walked down the dark corridor behind Alfred holding each other’s hand. Robin looked at all the old paintings in the hall and the melting candles that were lit and the dark brown walls that gave the house its mysterious look. He had nearly forgotten what it was like to be back in his old home.

“So… is he not back yet?” Robin asked, referring to Bruce.

“Not yet, he will be very shortly.” Alfred replied. “What is it he called you here for?”

“I think he just wants to catch up. At least that’s what I hope it is.”

“I’m sure it’s nothing serious, master Richard.” Alfred responded. “If I may ask, why did you bring a member of your team with you?” He turned his head back to look at Robin and Starfire.

“I just wanted her here with me,” pink tinted Robin’s cheeks. “Do you think… he wouldn’t want that?”

“Not at all, maybe just a little surprised, like I was.” Alfred spoke. “You know, it isn’t like you to bring anyone home, or, a girl for the matter. I know how much you value your privacy, and, correct me if I am wrong, but I assume that she knows about… most of this, am I correct?”

Robin rubbed the back of this neck. “Yeah… why do you ask?”

“Oh, I just can’t help wonder if perhaps you two… are an item?” Alfred stopped walking and turned fully to see the teens.

Robin and Starfire both stopped walking and a red hue flooded to Robin’s cheeks. “I- uhhh… well, yeah, we are,” Robin stammered.

Alfred gave them a warm smile. “I am happy for the both of you,” he turned to Robin. “I am glad you found someone who you trust this much with this part of your life, Richard. I am also glad that you found such a lovely young lady to be your partner. It’s quite hard to come across people as sweet and as gorgeous as her, you know.” Alfred said as he looked at Starfire, causing her to giggle. Alfred turned back to Robin. “I think you lucked out majorly, sir.”

Robin chuckled and turned his gaze to his girlfriend. “Trust me, I know.”

The front door suddenly opened, and the three of them looked down the hall to see who had entered. It was Batman. “Oh, Robin, you’re already here. Sorry I’m late,” he explained as he began to walk down the hall to catch up to them.

“You’re still in your suit, sir.” Alfred started. “Why didn’t you enter through the cave entrance?” He spoke to Batman down the hall.

“I had to come speak to you about some issues regarding the case. I thought you might be up here.” Batman spoke as he finally caught up to everyone.

Batman saw Starfire and turned to Robin. “I see you’ve brought someone. One of your teammates?”

“Yeah, this is Starfire.” Robin explained as Starfire gave a wave, blushes visible on both their faces.

“Yes, I remember you mentioning her once before.” Batman spoke before Alfred came by his side.

“Oh, they are more than just teammates sir, they are an item.” Alfred said in a quiet but happy tone.

Robin perked up. “Alfred.” Robin raised his voice just above a whisper.

“My apologies, master Richard,” Alfred rubbed the back of his head. “I simply could not contain the secret any longer.”

Batman’s eyes went from Alfred to his former sidekick. “Hm, is that so? I assume this is the reason you brought her?”

“Y-Yes, but-“

“How long have you been together?”

“I-It’s been almost eight months,” the red in his cheeks hadn’t subsided and Robin cast his eyes to the ground and rubbed the back of his head.

“Really?” The masked man tilted his head.

“I- yes… and, I know what you said to me before, about not to get involved in a romantic relationship with a teammate,” Robin began “but… I really do care for her, and I believe she’s more than capable of keeping this families secrets, and-“

“Robin, stop talking.” Batman said as he raised his hand to halt him from continuing his speech.

Robin stopped instantly, and looked up at the tall figure in front of him. He suddenly felt super small compared to him.

“I know how much you care for her,” Batman began. “I said you shouldn’t go doing that before because I wasn’t sure how well you could decide on such big decisions like that. Seeing how well you manage your team and how much pride you take into what you do, I… I’m proud. You’ve come so far since your training and you have more than proven that you can do just fine on your own. Just as long as you can balance-“

“Both personal life and hero life. Trust me, I already figured that one out.” Robin gave a bashful look at Starfire once again, who had nearly smirked back at him, both being reminded of Robin learning that lesson when they went to Tokyo.

Batman gave a brief, warm smile. He placed a hand on Robin’s shoulder. “Then I couldn’t be happier,” he turned his gaze to Starfire, keeping the warm smile he had on his usual stoic face. “for both of you.” Batman leaned closer to Starfire. “I trust that you’ll also take good care of him, hm?”

Starfire giggled as she could tell Robin was becoming more and more embarrassed by the minute. “I will not disappoint you, Batman.”

Batman stood up straight once more and chuckled. “I appreciate your formality, but please, you may call me Bruce.”

Bruce then turned back to Robin. “Honestly, Dick, I think you really lucked out with her,” he still said with a small smile.

“Oh, I know, believe me,” Robin ran his finger through his hair.

Bruce chuckled once more and walked ahead to join Alfred, leaving just Robin and Starfire walking a bit of a distance behind them.

“So… it seems you did the “lucking out” with me, correct?” Starfire spoke in a silk voice as she laced their fingers together, watching the red return to his face once more at the small gesture.

“Heh, yeah, I honestly did.” Robin said before turning his head towards her with a soft smile. “Wouldn’t have wanted to luck out this hard with anyone else but you.”

Starfire bit her lip trying to contain the smile that she now had on her face. She tucked strands of hair behind her ear as her and Robin continued to walk together. “If that is the case, then I suppose I also did the lucking out with you as well.” Starfire smiled as she felt her cheeks grow warm.

Robin could’ve sworn his heart melted at the sentiment she just made. He felt beyond lucky. “I love you so much,” he said as he stared at her, looking at how gorgeous she was.

“And I love you too,” Starfire said contently as she leaned in to kiss his cheek.

Robin held her hand tighter as the the two of them continued to walk down the corridor together, enjoying the moment they shared.

[allimariexf]

Burning Souffles

Relationship: Oliver Queen/Felicity Smoak

Rating: E (honestly it’s more like M, but I’m keeping the E in anticipation of the E-rated epilogue I’m still planning to write someday ;)

Tags: post-7x13/ Arrow (TV 2012) Season 7/ Canon Compliant/ Angst/ Romance/ Action (just a little)/ Drama/ Feelings/ Eventual Fluff/ Family Feels

Summary:

Felicity really needs to have a talk with Oliver. Which they will really, definitely do just as soon as she stops being kidnapped.

Notes: Forgot to share this on tumblr! 

Read on AO3 here | Ch 2 Breaking Windows | Ch 3 Falling Apart | Ch 4 Believing in Love | Ch 5 Making Room in a Broken Heart | Ch 6 Coming Around Again | Ch 7 So in Love with You

Chapter 1: Nothing Stays the Same

If my best isn’t good enough then how can it be good enough for two?

God dammit, why did song lyrics always pop in her head to serve up their hard truths at the worst possible moments?

Like now, for instance. When Felicity found herself tied to a chair in a dark, dingy basement, and no one the wiser about her location. And also pregnant. With no one outside of herself and the hospital aware of that particular detail.

Oh god, if she got murdered here it meant Oliver was going to find out about their baby...their baby...their baby...from the hospital. Or the Medical Examiner’s office. She squeezed her eyes shut at the thought. Nope, not going to think about that. What she was going to do was sit down and have a talk with him - a real talk - just as soon as she was out of this predicament.

It wan’t as if she hadn’t been trying to reach him. For days, weeks, months really. Since William, since Emiko. Since Slabside. It had been a hell of year so far, for both of them.

But Oliver was hurting, and he needed her. So she’d stepped up. She’d put her anger, her fears, her identity crisis aside, because his need was more immediate. He needed her, and moreover, she wanted him to need her. She needed him to need her.

Third verse, same as the first.

There had been signs that he was beginning to let her in. A tiny smile here, a squeeze of her shoulder there. A hand extended toward her, seeming to offer more than just the contact of skin on skin. But the tragedies kept rolling in one after another, and it felt like every step forward was followed by three steps back. Or worse.

Like that morning.

A shiver of something dark and foreign ran down her spine at the memory of the confrontation in their bedroom. The most recent one, that is.

When she’d said her goodbyes to Curtis a few days ago, something he’d said had struck her. “It feels like you’re struggling to find your purpose too.” It was like he’d found the one weak chink in her armour and driven a knife right through it. Since then, she hadn’t been able to get the words out of her head.

Ever since Oliver had come back from Slabside, unmasked, and begun working with the SCPD, a tiny part of her been struggling to understand where she fit in. John and Curtis had ARGUS, Dinah had the SCPD, and Rene seemed content doing whatever he was doing. It took her awhile to realize that deep down, she had been hoping that Oliver’s return would somehow cause the team to re-form, and she’d be able to take her rightful place among them.

And while that hadn’t immediately happened, she’d believed things had finally started to come together once the rest of the team was deputized to work alongside the SCPD. She’d quietly begun setting up a place for Overwatch in their living room: adding an extra computer or two, and installing and improving dozens of programs that the team had always relied on for monitoring, tracking, searching, communicating, and cataloguing. It felt amazing.

But that morning Oliver had made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that things were not back to normal.

She’d approached him cautiously, aware that she hadn’t exactly informed him of her resumed vigilante activities. She expected him to be surprised. She hadn’t expected him to be angry.

He was standing at the dresser pulling a sweater over his head, and she fit herself against the door frame, watching him. Even now, after all these years, she was stuck by how startlingly beautiful he was, all long lines and hard muscles and perfect bone structure. When his head emerged through the hole in his shirt, he sensed her gaze and turned toward her expectantly.

She still wasn’t used to the distance in his eyes.

“So, I know you probably have work lined up for you already, like assigned cases or something like that,” her chipper tone faded just a little bit, because the truth was she didn’t know; he hadn’t actually told her very much about his new job at all, “but in case you and the team were looking for something to do, I got a pretty solid lead on something this morning.”

His eyebrows drew together. “A lead?”

“Yeah. It turns out there’s been a series of thefts from the Star City headquarters of about a dozen different chemical companies - nothing too noteworthy, when taken individually. But my program gave me an alert because it turns out that, taken together, the various chemicals that were stolen can be used to make some pretty nasty stuff of the explosive variety.”

Oliver’s face stilled as she spoke, which should have alerted her that something was wrong, but Felicity was excited, and when Oliver spoke his tone remained deceptively mild. “Your program? Which program is that?”

“Oh, nothing special, just my usual algorithm that analyzes reported criminal activity and seeks patterns in the data.” She smiled, feeling that tiny surge of pride that always accompanied her small accomplishments as Overwatch, a feeling of having made a difference. She hadn’t realized just how much she’d missed that feeling.

But that feeling evaporated rapidly as she watched Oliver’s expression shift from still to stony to stormy so quickly that she could only track it because she knew him so well. “Why are you running that program?” There was absolutely no mistaking that tone in his voice.

Just as there was no mistaking Felicity’s predictable response to his challenge. She pushed off the door frame, straightening her spine and stepping toward him. “Why shouldn’t I be running that program?”

He blinked at her and breathed deeply through his nose while his eyes never left her face. She recognized the signs of him gathering his composure, but what struck her was the realization that this might be the longest he’d kept his eyes on hers in months. “Felicity.”

She looked aside abruptly, not wanting him to see the emotion that was suddenly rising in her eyes and clogging her throat. She blinked, swallowed, and waited for him to continue.

His voice was surprisingly gentle, which only set her on edge. “You can’t…”

Her eyes snapped to his. “Can’t what, Oliver? What can’t I do?”

He looked away. “I work for the SCPD now. I have to take my assignments from them.”

She stepped toward him, hand outstretched. “Okay then. I’ll put what I have on a thumb drive and you can take it to Dinah. Call it an anonymous tip, or whatever. Then she can assign you to the case.” She smiled tentatively. Willing him to consider the logic of her proposal.

“It’s not that simple.”

Her hand landed on his chest, fingernails scratching lightly against the fabric of his sweater. “I don’t see why it can’t be. With you and the rest of the team deputized to work in the city, with the full support of the SCPD, we can be even more effective than we used to be.”

Oliver stepped back abruptly. “There is no team, Felicity!” He paused, and Felicity snatched her hand back from where it was still hovering between them in the sudden silence. He shifted wary eyes toward her. “I need you to understand that.”

Felicity gaped at him, ready to argue but suddenly speechless.

“I need you to stop pretending that things haven’t changed.” His eyes were earnest, pleading. And they left Felicity gasping as if he had slammed her in the face with a brick.

She stared back at him, the blood rushing loudly in her ears and drowning out any sense of reason. Her breaths were shallow and rapid, but her voice was calm. “I know things have changed, Oliver. That’s the one thing you have made very, very clear.”

“Felic -”

But she was already walking away, and he didn’t follow. Five minutes later, as she sat at her computers blatantly disregarding his wishes, she heard him wordlessly leave the apartment. 

(Continued in chapter 2, linked above!)

[super-imaginefics]

Could you do an imagine with kara where her and reader like each other but never say anything, but then she gets hurt somehow and when she wakes up they kiss?

Thank you so much for sending in a request! Since this is my first imagine, I decided to go all out, so it’s kinda long. I’m sorry it took two days for me to post this. I had written a large chunk of it and made the rookie mistake of deciding to try something, which caused it all to disappear. I got frustrated and waited a bit before writing it again. I started from the beginning again and a third of the way through, decided to save it as a draft so what happened before wouldn’t happen again, and somehow saved over it, causing all of my work to be erased. So then I started all over AGAIN and finally wrote it all before I had the opportunity to somehow mess up and erase it all again. I guess the third time really is the charm. Lol. It was my first time so I didn’t really know how to use tumblr in this regard very well. But now I know, so we’re good! :) So… here it is! My first imagine! Thank you for reading and I hope you all enjoy it!

You exited the elevator and entered the office floor as you always did: on the constant look out for Kara. You had been working at CatCo for five months now and had taken a special liking to a certain reporter on your very first day when she brought you a cup of coffee from Noonan’s. She had written your name on it, along with a little drawn heart and a sweet welcome message. You remembered the cute gesture as you continued to walk through shuffling employees towards your desk, steeling quick nervous glances down at your shoes, making sure you wouldn’t trip over your own two feet and embarrass yourself. It was a new habit you had picked up not too long ago after an embarrassing incident in front of your crush. 

It was your third week at CatCo and you were walking some files over to marketing when the elevator door opened and out walked Kara in a new tight sleeveless dress carrying four densely packed boxes of paperwork. You knew from experience how heavy they were and could barely even carry just one yourself. She was so strong, and the dress showed it. The moment your eyes met hers, you forgot how to walk. You tripped over absolutely nothing, just air, and fell to the ground, dropping all of the files that were in your hands. You tried getting up but you’re mind was in such shock over Kara’s outfit and the embarrassment of what just happened that your miserable attempt failed. You just sat on the ground and stared down at the files scattered on the floor, beginning to pick them up. You were stretching your arm for the few files left that were out of your reach when you saw a soft but strong hand come down, slowly pick them up, and nicely place them in the pile you had created in your lap. You were very grateful but too nervous and embarrassed to look up, so you just continued to stare down at your own hands, aligning the files in the pile into a nice stack. The same hand as before entered your vision, this time outstretched to you. You finally looked up and saw Kara. She glistened in the morning rays seeping through the building and had the softest and nicest smile you had ever seen. You gave her a small smile, hugged the stack of files to your chest with one arm, and gave her your hand. Although your smile came off as shy and appreciative, Kara could see the worry and self-doubt in your eyes. Kara grabbed your hand and gave it a soft squeeze before easily pulling you up. The moment you were on your feet, Kara placed her hands on your shoulders, making sure you were stabilized. You fell out of your trance over Kara’s beautiful face and your embarrassment hit you again. You stared down at your feet, scared to look up at Kara, scared to be rejected or looked down upon. Kara noticed your hesitance and gently but reassuringly squeezed your shoulders. You shyly moved your gaze from the floor to her blue eyes. To your surprise, they weren’t filled with pity, but with genuine support. You were overcome with emotion and suddenly wrapped your one free arm around her waist to hug her. The moment your body made contact with hers, you were stricken with fear, afraid you had overstepped. Before she could even hug you back, you immediately backed away and said a soft “thank you” before quickly walking off towards marketing again, cursing at yourself under your breath once you thought you were far enough for her to not hear you. But Kara heard. She thought it was absolutely adorable. Kara turned around and picked up the four boxes of paperwork again. She walked over to her desk with a slight pink to her cheeks and the biggest smile on her face. That was the moment Kara knew she liked you more than a friend. She really really liked you. 

You reached your desk without spotting Kara, you figured she wasn’t here yet. You did tend to get to work a little earlier than she did. You were busy typing away at an email when someone walked up to your desk. You looked up and there she was- perfect blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, and the brightest smile on the planet.

“Hi Kara!” you said excitedly as you gave her the biggest smile you could.

“Good morning, (Y/N)!” she giggled as she adjusted her glasses like she always did. You found it absolutely adorable and couldn’t help but giggle back. You were entranced by her.

Kara handed you your cup of coffee from Noonan’s just the way you liked it. This is something she did quite often. She would bring you coffee in the morning a few times a week. And sometimes, if you seemed really stressed or over consumed by work, she would go out in the afternoon and get you coffee. You weren’t the only person Kara brought morning coffee for in the office, but you did get it more than anyone else. And you were the only person she brought afternoon coffee to. 

You looked down at the hot cup of coffee in your hands and noticed your name beautifully written on it as always. Expecting to find a heart drawn next to your name as always since your first day, something she also never did for anyone else but you, you were surprised to find something a little different. Instead of one heart, there were two. Two bubbly hearts beautifully connected by a series of swirls. You beamed up at her and Kara blushed in return.

“Kara, it’s beautiful. I can’t believe you took the time to draw this this morning. I hope you didn’t have to wake up early to do this. Please tell me you didn’t,” you said worriedly as you didn’t want her sacrificing her sleep for you. No matter how much you liked her or how head over heels you were, you didn’t think you were worth it.

“Actually, I didn’t draw it this morning. I went to Noonan’s and grabbed a few cups last night and drew it. It took me a few times but I had to get it perfect. I couldn’t risk only having the one cup they give your coffee in. So I brought it with me this morning and asked them to fill it with your order. I also added a bit of whipped cream on the top to make it fun. I know you had an especially rough day yesterday and you crashed the moment you got home. I didn’t want to keep you from your very much needed sleep so I thought I’d do a little something for you in the morning.”

“Awwww, Karaaaa…..” you got up from your chair, walked around your desk, and gave her the biggest hug. Kara wrapped her arms around you as tight as she could without hurting you. 

You both separated from the hug at the same time and took a step back. She smiled at you and you turned your head away to blush. 

All of a sudden, something came crashing through the window. A big piece of bright green crystal was flying directly at you. You froze in fear and couldn’t move. Kara saw it. She knew what it was. There wasn’t enough time to safely push you out of the way, but she couldn’t let you get hurt. Kara stepped in front of you and the next thing you knew, she was sent flying back across the building, landing on a desk, causing it to collapse under her. 

“Kara!” you screamed. You ran over to her, bending down and pushing the broken desk pieces out of the way so you could get to her. 

“Kara? Kara!? Kara, can you hear me?”

She wasn’t responding. She was knocked unconscious. You examined her and saw a few small green shards embedded in her skin and one large piece that had stabbed her in the stomach. You looked back up at her face and saw green lines beginning to form, almost like veins. You had no idea what was happening and had no idea what to do.

“Kara! KARA!” You began to softly slap her face a little bit. “Kara! Come on, Kara! Wake up, Kara! Wake up!”

You looked down at her body, trying to see if there was anything you could do. You knew that taking out the big stake-like piece in her stomach could cause even more harm and damage her body more than it already was. So you tried to get out the little shards that littered her body like glass. You didn’t know what it was, but you figured it was probably hurting her a lot more than just small cuts. You had a feeling that getting the most you could out and away from her would help. 

You turned to her face again. “Kara! Wake up! Get up! I know you can do this!” You tried slapping her face a bit again. Nothing. 

“Somebody! Anybody! Help her! Please!” you screamed. You saw the green on her face glow brighter and begin to spread across her body. Her wounds were starting to do the same. You looked back up into that beautiful face of hers, usually so happy and full of life, now struggling to live and covered in pain. You began to cry.

“HELP HER! HELP HER! SOMEBODY HELP HER, PLEASE! SHE NEEDS HELP! PLEASE!” you now screamed as loud as you possibly could, nearly screeching.

At that moment, as if it were some miracle, like your prayers had been answered, people in black tactical uniforms came barging into the building. 

“FBI!” a young white woman with short auburn brown hair yelled as the agents moved towards Kara.

“Please get out of the way, Miss,” an older taller black man with a short buzz cut asked you. 

You looked down at Kara and cupped her face with your hand. You didn’t say anything.

“Get out of the way,” the same lady, now standing next to you and the man, said sternly.

Still on the ground with Kara, you finally turned around to look up at them both, tears streaking down your face. “No.”

“You need to get out of the way. We can’t help her if we can’t get to her,” the man said.

You stood up and took a step back. “Okay. But I won’t leave her.”

The two quickly examined her and began to lift her off of the ground. The man picked Kara up bridal style and the woman helped him adjust her. They suddenly turned to walk away with no explanation.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing!? Where are you taking her!?” you yelled at them. 

“It’s classified,” the woman said as they kept walking. You chased after them and stood in front of them to block them from going any further.

“I don’t care if it’s classified! I’m not leaving her! She’s my best friend and she just saved my life! She’s in this situation because of me!” you began to cry harder but continued on, “I need to help her! I need to know that she is okay! I promise I won’t get in the way. Please…….. I love her.”

And it was in that moment that the auburn brown haired woman’s demeanor softened, “Okay.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You were sitting next to Kara in the medical bay of what seemed like a big government facility. For some reason, everything was very secretive. You brushed Kara’s hair back from her face as you held her hand close to your chest. The doctors were able to take out all of the green crystal shards, including the large one in her stomach, and stabilize her. But they didn’t know when, or if, she’d wake up. The lady and man from before had stepped into the room for a bit before letting you see her. You wondered why two random people would want to spend private time with her, especially when she’s unconscious. You had also noticed that Kara’s body had healed it’s wounds remarkably fast.  

You moved your hand from Kara’s hair to her face, cupping it gently, softly rubbing her cheek with your thumb. “Kara, I don’t know if you can hear me, but, please wake up. I need you to wake up. I can’t lose you. You’re the closest thing I have. Please. If anyone can do it, it’s you. Come on, show ‘em. Show those doctors you can do it. Show them just how strong you are. You’re strong enough to get through this, I know you are. You have to be…” you wiped away the tears falling from your eyes, “I believe in you Kara.”

You waited a few minutes but there was no response. You should have known, it was stupid to think she could hear you. You leaned back in your chair, praying she would wake up.

You sighed and looked at Kara’s tired face. “Why did you do that Kara? Why did you step in front of me? You should have let it hit me, then you wouldn’t be hurt. You could’ve died Kara,” you began crying again, “The world needs Kara Danvers. You should have let it hit me Kara. You should have let it hit me. I’m not worth saving, especially at your expense.”

You felt a soft squeeze in your hand and you froze.

“Kara? Oh my gosh, Kara! Kara, wake up! Kara, come on, you can do it! Please come back to me Kara. I can’t live without you. Please wake up. You can do it.”

You kissed her hand, “I believe in you……. I need you Kara.”

Kara’s eyes began to open and you stood up, holding Kara’s face in your hands. “Kara?”

Kara’s blue eyes met yours and she smiled.

“Kara!” you threw yourself over her and gave her a gentle hug. She wrapped the one arm that wasn’t trapped under yours and laughed. You pulled away to look at her again, take her all in, when she began to sit up. 

“Hey, Kara. Slow down. You got really hurt and you just woke up. Take it easy, okay?” 

“I’m fine, (Y/N)” You gave her an uncertain look. “I promise (Y/N), I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? You were knocked unconscious. Do you feel a lot of pain?”

“No. I barely feel any pain at all.” 

You stared at her in confusion. “But how? How are you not in pain? You almost died Kara.” You dozed off for a second, “You almost died….”

All of a sudden, you felt anger building up inside of you.

“Kara. Are you insane? Why did you do that Kara? Why did you step in front of me?”

Kara opened her mouth to say something but you continued. 

“No, Kara. No. You could have died. You could have died! Why did you step in front of me? Why did you take the blow for me? Why did you save me? You should have let it hit me, Kara. I’m not–”

You were interrupted by Kara crashing her lips against yours. You froze for a second in shock but soon fell into the kiss, closing your eyes and synching your lips with hers.

Kara held your face in her hands and slowly separated from the kiss, looking deeply into your eyes.

“You ARE worth saving (Y/N), ESPECIALLY at my expense. I will always protect you (Y/N), even if it means I have to die doing so. I will do anything I have to in order to keep you safe, ALWAYS. I promise.”

This time you crashed your lips against hers, kissing her passionately. You put your hands on the back of her head, pulling her closer to you, your fingers intertwining with her blonde locks. Kara wrapped her arms around your waist and pulled your bodies even closer together. You continued kissing for what felt like an eternity. And in this magical long-awaited moment, it felt like it was just the two of you, just you and her in the world.

Kara pulled back from the kiss and rested her forehead against yours, grabbing one side of your face with one hand and passing her other hand through your hair until it reached the back of your upper neck.

“(Y/N)?” Kara asked.

“Hmm?” you replied happily, not moving and eyes still closed, relishing in Kara’s touch.

“Do you remember what you said, at CatCo?” Kara asked hesitantly. You pulled your head back to look at her, a look of confusion on your face.

“I heard you, (Y/N). I heard what you said when I was hurt, when they were carrying me away.”

Your eyes widened a bit in panic and you looked away. Kara gently placed her hands under your chin and turned your head to face hers. She could sense your worry.

“(Y/N),” Your name beautifully rolled off Kara’s tongue in the sweetest and most reassuring tone you had ever heard. You looked at her and she gazed deeply into your (Y/E/C) eyes like they held the world.

“I love you too.”

[moonbabiie]

2012-2018 both done on paint tool SAI I used to love art so much, I didn't mind that I was mediocre because I enjoyed the thrill of getting better. I loved learning new techniques and absorbing all that I could from artists on deviantart and Tumblr that I looked up to. When I was a freshman in high school my dad bought me my first Wacom tablet and I was so fuckin jazzed. I probably spent 6 months worth of cumulative hours holed up in our home office doodling silent hill fanart and lurking around DA, practicing practicing practicing, always posting everything I created. I wanted critique and praise and any kind of attention I could get. I loved it more than anything. After graduating, after falling victim to a slew of illnesses, I unfortunately couldn't find solace in art anymore. To me it just seemed like another thing I wasn't good at (and by good I mean perfect). I moved out of my parents and my dad wouldn't let me take the tablet, sketchbooks became dumping grounds for scribbled angsty poetry and self deprecating messages to myself. About once a year I'd sit down and really put my mind to it, usually ending up in a drawing I fawned over for a few days, then forgot about. I'd ride the high of remembering I'm a decent artist with a stupid amount of potential, then when I tried to create something new, and it didn't look exactly how I pictured it, I would convince myself to give up. After giving recovery a chance, and when I started to feel more like my old self, I decided to buy myself a new tablet. A crappy little Wacom from amazon. When it arrived, I was scared and intimidated, putting too much pressure on myself again. I didn't take it out of the box for a few weeks. When I finally mustered up the courage to give it a go, I was (predictably) devastated when I couldn't remember how to use SAI, and once again, forfeited. My SAI trail expired and my tablet began to collect dust. I hated looking at it. Why was I wasting the literal one and only thing I'd ever stuck to, the only thing I treated as a hobby, the only thing people knew me by. Why was I so scared? Why did my only healthy coping mechanism give me such crippling anxiety? It took me a long time to figure out how terrified I am of failing. Not specifically at being a talented artist, but just with my life in general. I'm finally in a place in my life where things are starting to balance out. I have a good job, a wonderful boyfriend, a beautiful house, and a strong support system. It all feels so fragile, though. I'm realizing that I've become more anxious since things started looking up. The constant lingering fear that all of these good things I don't feel like I deserve are going to disappear and I'll be left alone again overwhelms me every second of the day. When I was slowly killing myself a few years ago, I didn't care what happened in the future, because I didn't expect to be present for it. I didn't give a shit if I failed because to me I already had, and there was no going back, the damage was done and there was no possibility of undoing it (a very dangerous mindset, don't ever let yourself get there, you are never broken beyond repair, it is never ever too late to get help) so why worry? Now, I look forward to the future, I'm curious where it's going to take me, which is... terrifying. Going from the mindset that there is a strong possibility you may not wake up in the morning to actively working on going to college, hoping to get married and maybe one day have kids, is the scariest and most wonderful thing I've ever experienced. I drew the picture on the left about 2 weeks after I'd graduated high school. I remember hiding in my room at my dads old house, his drinking was starting to get particularly bad around this time. I remember being proud enough to post it on Facebook. I remember the warm feeling of checking my notifications and seeing 33 likes. She was the first thing I'd drawn in a year or so, and I loved her. She was the last thing I drew for about 5 years. The picture on the right is a work in progress. I just started her tonight. I've named her Effie and I think she may be a reoccurring OC. I know this is an obnoxiously long post for a progress update, I'm hesitant to post it at all because it sounds so dramatic and preachy, but I'm feeling happy tonight, and I think it's reflecting in Effie. You can clearly see when I'm doing well in the content I create. I made her in my new home office that I share with my boyfriend, while my best friend sat on the guest bed and chatted and laughed with me for the entire four hours it took me to get to this point in the drawing. I feel very lucky to be where I am, and I should show my gratitude by making art.