#dude put his hands on Lucas he’s lucky I didn’t get to him first

[whatohitsonfirewelp]

I feel betrayed but it’s Fine

[hyuckssunchip]

Blooming Pt. 2

Pairings: Jisung x Reader, ft. nct dream, lucas (honorary member of dream)

Words: 5.5K

Warnings: Language (there is almost always language in my writings), angst, fluff

Synopsis:

Love isn’t as easy as it seems, Park Jisung is an advocate of that. A blooming relationship that has prematurely ceased can be re-sparked years later, or can it? Will Jisung be able to overcome his fears in order to succeed in what he deems love?

Part 1 | Part 2

“What’s this?” Renjun picked up the textbook on the kitchen table.

Jeno looked up from his laptop briefly, shrugging before returning to the screen. “Jisung threw it there earlier today.”

Renjun picked up the book, getting a good look at the cover, “The Introduction to the female reproductive system? What’s Jisung doing with a book like this?” He pulled the receipt from the back cover, glancing at it.

Jeno finally stood up from his seat, peeking over his shoulder and shaking his head with a frown.

“Jisung said not to touch it.” Jaemin entered the rooming, sitting across from the boys, munching on a snack. “He’s got to return it later.”

“Why?” Renjun asked, sending a look at Jaemin who was spreading crumbs. “The receipt says he bought it today.”

Jaemin grinned sheepishly, getting the message, and he wiped the crumbs into the palm of his hands. 

“I don’t know. Probably the wrong version or something.” Jaemin stood up, dumping his handful into the trash.

“But Jisung’s not even taking a class remotely related to this. Why would he buy it in the first place?” Renjun pushed. 

“I don’t know.” Jaemin shook his head at him, “Why don’t you ask him?”

“Ask who what?” Chenle asked, entering the kitchen to grab an apple.

“Jisung bought a weird book.” Jeno spouted whilst typing away.

Chenle laughed, “Of course he did, no wonder he’s been in such a happy mood.”

“What?” Renjun asked.

“Yeah, he’s had the dumbest smile all over his face since he got back.” Chenle took a large bite out of the apple.

“Where did he go?” Jaemin cocked his head, wandering around the kitchen for another snack.

“I don’t know, probably the bookstore.” 

Jisung emerged from his room, wearing a grin that very similarly resembled Chenle’s expression. He hummed a tune that soon overtook the rest of the hushed chatter, the other boys simply stared at him. Even Jeno stopped his typing, watching Jisung intently.

“What’s got you so happy?” Jaemin asked leaning in close to the unsuspecting boy.

“Hmmm? Oh. Nothing.” Jisung just grinned back.

“Right. Nothing.” Renjun squinted his eyes at him, with a sarcastic tone.

Jisung couldn’t help the smile that seemed to grow. “Actually I-”

“Guess who?” The door slammed shut.

“Haechan, seriously. Just text us before you come over. One of these days you’re gonna give someone a heart attack.” Renjun scolded.

“Really Renjun? You’re not eighty, I’m not going to scare you to death.” Haechan brushed past the muttering boy.

“I wouldn’t put it past you.”

Haechan chose to ignore it if he had heard. “So what are we talking about today?”

Chenle perked up, being the first to offer information. “Jisung bought a weird book, and he’s super happy about it.”

Mark frowned at Jisung, “What?”

In return Jisung spared him a glance before correcting the previous statement, “I have a date.”

“Dude no way.” Mark clapped Jisung on the back, which consequently had him stumbling forward a few steps.

“With who?” Jaemin creeped forward with interest.

“Guess.” There was a cheeky grin that brightened his features.

“No fucking way.” Haechan let out unintentionally. “I mean, congrats Jisung.”

“When?” Renjun asked, more than slightly intrigued. 

“Friday.” He smiled at his feet, “I asked her today after we got back from the bookstore. Also, that guy? Not her boyfriend.”

Jeno spoke up, his curiosity getting the better of him. “What’s the book for though?”

“Oh.” Jisung turned red, “I told her I had to buy a textbook too, and I just grabbed a random book. I didn’t mean to grab that one.” He scratched the back of his neck, in embarrassment.

Chenle snorted, “Wow, some luck.”

But Jisung didn’t feel the same sentiment, as he was still over the moon about your date. He didn’t mind the embarrassment for a moment, the ending result was well worth the sacrifice.

“So where are you guys going?” Haechan asked, wicked thoughts already entering his head.

“No. The answer is no.” Jisung’s smile dropped for the first time. “I’m not stupid, and I don’t want you showing up.”

Haechan playfully scowled, “I’m just trying to help, just give you a little push is all.”

“I don’t need a push. I got a date just fine without you.” Jisung retorted, stealing a cookie from Jaemin as he left to return to his room.

“Do any of you know?” Haechan immediately turned to ask the others.

They all shook their heads, even if they did know they wouldn’t tell Haechan. After all they were rather hoping Jisung and you would get together, and the chances would significantly slim if Haechan were to get involved.

“So Jake told me Lucas has been raving about you since your last date? What’d you do? Sleep with him?” Alex snickered at the thought.

“Yeah.” You deadpanned, not taking your eyes off your book.

There was a loud thud from behind you and you tried your hardest not to laugh. 

“What?!” You turned just in time to see Alex bound over to you, skidding across the floor.

A smile betrayed you, “I’m just kidding. I don’t know, we just had a good time.”

“Bitch.” She muttered under breath, obviously annoyed by your lie. “I was really excited. You didn’t have to do that.”

You giggled, “Is my love life really that interesting?”

“Yes.” She crossed her arms, “I’m bored because I’ve already got a boyfriend. I need to live vicariously through someone.”

You frowned at her before returning to your book, “Well, just because I feel kinda bad for lying to you, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret.”

You didn’t have to look up to know she was leaning in intensely, “What?”. It came out as a whisper and you could see how badly she wanted to hear it.

“I’ve got a date.” 

Alex leaned back with a sigh, evidently unimpressed. “That’s your secret? I mean I already assumed Lucas was gonna ask again. I wanted something more juicy.”

You bit your lip with a smile, “It’s not with Lucas.”

That had her. “Holy shit. Who?”

You glanced at the wall that separated you and your neighbors, and she immediately understood. “Jisung?”

For a moment it was unusually silent. Then she let out an ear-deafening squeal. “Oh my god! He finally asked you? Or did you ask him? When did this happen? Why didn’t you tell me?”

The frenzy of questions had you laughing at her excitement. “He asked me just a few hours ago.” You couldn’t hide the smile any longer, teeth now on full view.

She scooted closer to you, grabbing a hold of your arm, “Tell me everything.”

And so you did. For the most part it was you recanting your story, and every once in a while Alex would squeal and smack you in excitement.

Eventually her excitement died down, after all the girl only has so much energy.

“What about Lucas?” She asked softly, glancing at your profile.

You picked at the page nervously, hissing when you got a paper cut. Immediately you stuck your finger in your mouth, a habit you had since you were a child.

Although Jisung asking you out was something you had wished for since the moment you met him, you knew it wasn’t right to just drop Lucas like that. Besides you liked the guy, he made you feel comfortable, and not to mention he really knew how to lay it on thick. He was a natural flirt. 

Of course you liked being flirted with, doted on. And Lucas really was a great guy. But in all honesty you couldn’t really see a future with him. He just didn’t send flutters in your stomach the way that Jisung did. 

You pursed your lips in thought, mulling over how you were going to go about the situation. 

“I don’t know. We’re supposed to meet for lunch tomorrow. I guess I’ll tell him then.” You sighed, not liking how you were suddenly thrust into this situation. Why did two great guys have to come at the same time?

Alex nodded, understanding your predicament. She also understood the way that you felt about Jisung.

Feelings that didn’t go away after two years, meant something, didn’t they? 

“I’m really sorry. I think you’re a great guy, really.” You paused, watching his reaction. You had just dumped everything on to Lucas, and you couldn’t tell what he was feeling. Resentment? Anger? Disappointment?

But he just nodded with a tight smile. It clearly wasn’t genuine. 

“I hate it when people say this, but it isn’t you it’s me. Really. You’re a fantastic guy, and I think anybody would be lucky to have you as a partner. But… I just can’t ignore my feelings, you know?”

You bit your lip with a frown, looking up from under your lashes. 

He laid his hand on top of yours, just holding it for a moment. 

“I understand. And there’s absolutely no hard feelings.” This time the smile seemed less forced. “I wished things could’ve worked out, but things don’t always go the way we want right?”

You sent him a soft smile, guilt still plaguing you.

“And just so you know, if you ever want to hit me up, I’m all for it.” He paused, glancing at you, “Whether you want a friend or something more.”

In silence, the two of you looked at each other for a moment.

“Y/N?” A voice interrupted you, making you widen your eyes.

Why did he always seem to catch you in compromising situations?

“Jisung.” You froze, unable to move or find the words to explain yourself. This obviously didn’t look good, here you were on what looked to be a ‘date’ just after accepting Jisung.

But he did know the situation, he did know that you were seeing Lucas. But it didn’t mean that he was keen on seeing you with him.

It seemed like everyone was left speechless, including a very wide-eyed Haechan, who you would’ve thought never could happen.

Jisung’s eyes flickered to the way Lucas’s hand enveloped yours, and you immediately pulled away, brushing your hair behind your ear out of nerves.

Looking between the two of you, Lucas seemed to get a pretty good idea of what was going on. He stood up and sent you a soft smile, before turning back to the group. 

“I’m gonna pay for it,” he cut you off as you tried to protest. “I’ll see you around sometime.” And with one last glance at the boys he shouldered past them.

The silence lasted for quite a while. 

“Guys, there’s a table- Oh, hi Y/N.” Jaemin had walked in belatedly, missing the situation, and was way too bright for the circumstance.

Renjun elbowed him in the side, earning a wide-eyed look of confusion.

You waited, hoping for Jisung to say something, because for some reason your mouth wouldn’t move. Words you had to say, dying in the back of your throat. 

But Jisung didn’t have anything to say. So he left.

You sent a shy smile to the boy next door, but he quickly ducked past his door, leaving you with the sound of the slamming.

You bit your lip. You didn’t blame him for being upset at what he saw. You would be too. You just thought that he would at least talk or look at you by now. 

Even your random run ins with Jaemin seemed to have an awkward air, like he would get in trouble if he talked to you.

“This is exactly what I didn’t want.” You ranted frustratedly to your roommate. “Our neighbors are avoiding me like the plague, and I can’t even get a smile out of Jaemin. Jaemin! The dude doesn’t know what it means to not smile, and now suddenly he’s a pro at it.”

You huffed, glaring at Alex. At this she put her hands up as if to say she wasn’t the one who didn’t smile at you.

You collapsed into the chair, shoving your head into your crossed arms. 

“Why don’t you just try to talk to him then? Clear things up.” She asked gently, as though she was worried this suggestion might set you off again.

“You don’t think I want to? He avoids me at all costs. If I can’t even get him to look at me, how’m I supposed to have a conversation with him?”

Alex shrugged, thinking the better of meddling again, choosing to retreat to her room to leave you with your own thoughts.

However, unbeknownst to you, the same chaos was occurring right next door.

“Should we talk to him?” Jaemin whispered while staring at the hallway, as if suddenly Jisung would pop out and let him have it.

“Does it look like he wants to be talked to?” Chenle asked sarcastically, “I don’t know about you, but I like my limbs intact.”

Jeno nodded, “I’ve never seen him this upset before. We should just let him cool off.”

“Cool off? He’s been cooling off for the past week, that’s not helping.” Renjun muttered angrily. He had unfortunately been a victim of Jisung’s wrath the night after the incident. 

“He’s just upset. I mean can you blame him? The girl he’s been in love with for the last two years was holding hands and obviously on a date with the dude, even after Jisung asked her out.” Chenle whisper-shouted. Even he wasn’t going to risk Jisung hearing this. 

“But he knew.” Renjun said, “He knew she was going on dates with this other guy. I mean what does he expect, she’d just drop him like that?”

Although Renjun had logic in his statement, none of the guys seemed to back him up.

“But I mean, the day after? And Jisung was over the moon when she accepted.” Chenle argued back.

“It’s not like she wanted Jisung to see them together.” Renjun hissed.

“Oh that makes it so much better?” Chenle wasn’t one to back down easily, and his voice was starting to rise.

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Renjun huffed out, “It’s not like she wanted to hurt him by having him see that. Besides she may have already planned the date, or have a reason. He should at least talk to her-”

“Shhh.” Jaemin threw a hand over Renjun’s mouth at the sight of Jisung leaving his room.

“Thanks. I really appreciate you guys talking about me behind my back.” Jisung glared at the group. “Why don’t you go over and talk shit about me with Y/N? I’m sure you’d get along nicely.”

“Well it’s not like we can talk to your face, can we?” Renjun shouted, fed up with Jisung’s mood.

Jisung scowled once more before slamming the front door behind him.

“Well that went well.” Jaemin mumbled, trying to lighten the mood.

“Jisung!” You stumbled down the stairs, trying to catch up with the blonde haired boy before he escaped.

But he didn’t even turn at the sound of your voice, and he seemed to hurry up as if avoiding you at all costs. 

Eventually you got the hint and stopped in your tracks. This had been going on for too long now, and you were fed up with the fact that no matter how hard you tried, he just chose to ignore you. 

So you plucked up your last ounce of courage, yelling at him from behind, with clenched fists.

“If you’re not going to even pretend like you’re interested, why did you ask me out?” You asked angrily, feeling a choking feeling rise in your throat. 

This caught his attention and he turned to face you with a frown, not quite understanding what you meant.

You were embarrassed and angry, feeling humiliated at the thought of Jisung not actually liking you. But he just stood and stared at you, no emotion even remotely hinting at the fact that he wanted to try, or that he cared. You had passed up on Lucas for this? You passed up on a great guy for someone who refused to even talk to you?

“I can’t believe that I picked you over Lucas.” You mumbled out, hand angrily wiping at the tears that had already escaped. “You know what, forget our date. If you were even planning on showing up.” You knew this was harsh, but to be fair, he wasn’t exactly being the nicest person right now.

Jisung’s eyebrows flew up towards his hairline, hand shyly trying to comfort you, but he didn’t have the courage to actually do it. He just watched.

You were pissed. You had tried multiple times to reach out to Jisung and try to reconcile, but you were met with no cooperation.

It felt as if you were reliving the time when you were texting with each other. He felt unresponsive, uninterested.

Of course, you knew that your actions could’ve been misconstrued or misinterpreted, but he hadn’t even let you explain.

Now the agenda of avoiding one another was mutual. You didn’t go out of your way to evade him, but you certainly didn’t try to see him.

It wasn’t until a week and a half later that you had your first interaction with Jaemin again.

“Hey Y/N.” He smiled at you, not as big as usual, but a smile nonetheless.

“Jaemin? So we’re talking now?” You couldn’t help but be snarky, something that you instantly regretted at the sight of his fallen face. “Wait, sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

When you sighed, you noticed that familiar look on his face, guilt.

But you chose to ignore it and move on, “What’s up?” 

You gripped the strap of your bag, grounding yourself for the moment.

“Nothing. I just wanted to say hi.” But the smile was fading fast.

He continued down the stairs, taking a left at the bottom.

“Jaemin?” He turned to face you. “Are you busy?”

His eyes widened and he grinned whilst shaking his head. You rushed down the stairs finding yourself less than a foot from him. “I was going to the park to study. Do you maybe wanna hang out?”

“Where were you?” Chenle asked with watchful eyes as Jaemin entered the apartment.

“At the park.” It was nonchalant, but Chenle noticed his shifty eyes.

“Why?”

Jaemin frowned, still avoiding eye contact. “Can I not just go to the park?”

Chenle narrowed his eyes, but ignored the statement as Renjun entered the room. Almost immediately there was a heavy tension over the room. 

Renjun ignored his presence and Chenle scoffed, promptly leaving the room. 

“What was that?” Renjun asked, filling up a cup of water.

Jaemin hesitated to respond, but knowing Renjun he figured he would find out soon enough.

“I went to the park… with Y/N today.” He whispered the last part, glancing at Renjun’s reaction. At this the latter raised his eyebrows, interested at the confession.

“I’m surprised there wasn’t more yelling.” He muttered, turning to face a very guilty looking Jaemin.

“I didn’t exactly tell him I went with her, he was just suspicious.” Jaemin bit his lip nervously, and eventually broke down, “I just wanted to talk with her. Is it wrong if we hang out? She’s a good person… I like her.”

Renjun’s eyes widened.

“Not like that. I just like her as a person, she’s easy to talk to.” Jaemin backtracked, understanding what the look in his eyes meant.

Renjun nodded, looking slightly relieved for a moment before covering it up with a stony look. He drained his glass quickly before turning to leave.

Just as he was about to exit the room he paused, “I don’t see what’s so heinous about hanging out with your neighbor. Honestly, they didn’t even date.”

After this Jaemin felt slightly better about his ‘betrayal’. Just because his roommates couldn’t be civil with you, didn’t mean that he couldn’t. After all no one really knew the whole story, right?

“Why do you look like that?” 

Jaemin looked up from his spot in the middle of the kitchen to find Jeno with his arms hugging his laptop.

“Huh?”

“You look like you’re out of it… Did something happen?” Jaemin could trust and confide in Jeno with many things, this was one of them.

Jeno sat at the table, softly laying his computer on the surface. Jeno wasn’t really one to freely show his emotions, even with his best friends, but here he began to look nervous. He bit his lip, glancing at Jaemin, wanting to reassure him, but not giving him false assurance. 

“I’m a horrible friend aren’t I?” Jaemin mumbled, digging his palms into his face. 

“No.” Jeno breathed out, “I just wouldn’t let Jisung find out. Or Chenle for that matter.”

Jaemin looked up, wincing at Jeno’s words. “So you don’t think it was so wrong of me?”

“I’m not saying it’s wrong, but it’s not right either.” Jeno sighed, watching his friend’s face fall. “Jisung and Y/N are in a weird situation. Honestly I’d rather just stay out of it, I don’t need to be picking sides.”

Jeno stood up suddenly, retrieving his laptop and leaving the room as abruptly as he came in. There was no sign of why Jeno even entered in the first place. 

This didn’t make Jaemin feel any better. But he heeded Jeno’s words, he didn’t want to choose sides. But he really liked you, why can’t he just enjoy your company?

“Jaemin? Y/N?” Renjun blinked twice at the scene, glancing between the two of you.

He wasn’t going to lie, there was a part of him that knew he could run into you both here. Maybe subconsciously he wanted to find you.

“Renjun.” You breathed out, a worried look casting over your face. “It’s not what it looks like really.”

The last thing you wanted was Jaemin to get in trouble. 

Renjun just nodded, cutting you off. “I know.” His lips formed a tight line, “Mind if I join you?”

Both Jaemin and yourself were shocked, but immediately gesturing for him to join you. He flopped onto the blanket exhaustedly, closing his eyes and just feeling the breeze.

After a moment of silence he reopened his eyes, sighing deeply, “I’m so tired of being in that apartment. I just feel so frustrated and closed in there, like I can’t breathe.”

You looked at your lap, feeling guilty for that. If it weren’t for you, neither Jaemin or Renjun would be here right now. Neither of them would be feeling this rivet between their friends.

You mumbled out a faint apology.

There was a sigh from his direction. “I wasn’t digging for an apology. I was just venting. Honestly, I don’t even blame you.”

Glancing up at him, you noticed he had his eyes clenched shut, head tilted towards the sky.

“I’m still sorry though.” You rushed your next words to stop his protests. “Let’s be real, if it weren’t for me, this all never would’ve happened between you guys. This is exactly why I didn’t want to start anything again.”

Jaemin frowned, shaking his head. “But you couldn’t have known, what if something really great came out of it? What if something really great can still come out of it?”

Renjun glanced at your distraught expression, he didn’t mean to upset you with his rant. 

“But it’s not going to. I mean,” You paused, hesitating to say the next words, “I don’t know if you guys know the whole story between us, but it feels the exact same as when we were texting before. I just get the feeling that he doesn’t actually like me like that, maybe he just likes the thought of it.” 

You trailed off at the sight of their faces. 

“Are you kidding me? That boy, and he’s going to kill me for saying this, but he’s been in love with you for the past two years. Like, no joke, there was a time when he had nothing to talk about, except for you. Trust me when I say he likes you.”

Frustration boiled up inside of you, “Then why doesn’t he try? I tried so hard to talk to him and explain what he saw, but he just avoids me. It’s the same as before, if he doesn’t think I’m worth at least that much, then why should I put in all that effort?” 

You were starting to get worked up with Renjun interrupted. “Because that’s Jisung. I hate to say it, but that’s the way he’s wired. He’s really shy, and cautious when it comes to this sort of stuff. I don’t want to use the word insecure, but he really doesn’t think he’s good enough sometimes. I think that when he even comes across the thought or the chance that he’s not good enough for you, he just shuts you out, you know? It’s like a defense mechanism. It’s not that he doesn’t want to try, just that he’s afraid.”

Jaemin nodded softly in agreement. At this point you were beginning to see why they were all such good friends. Even at a time like this they were still trying to help him, and never once did they put him down. 

That made you feel even worse. 

You sighed, leaning back on your forearms and staring up at the clouds, head swirling with new thoughts.

“Oh, so you can tell me to my face that you weren’t just with Y/N? What kind of friend are you?” Chenle raised his voice, glaring at the two of them.

Jisung stared at the wall beside them, silently brooding over the situation.

Haechan stood up from his seat on the couch and turned, shocked at the sight before him. Mark was wide-eyed staring over the back of the couch. 

“What are you-”

“Can you even call yourself a friend?” The words were spat out, making everyone in the room flinch, including Jisung.

Jisung closed his eyes, blocking out the situation. He never wanted things to go this far. 

“It’s not-”

“How are you even able to be in the same room and not feel guilty? Huh?!” At this point Chenle was losing control.

Haechan moved to Chenle’s side, tugging at his arm to make him stop. But Chenle only threw his hand off him in anger. 

“Taking sides with that-”

“Stop it.” 

With those two words it seemed like the world stopped with it. 

“What?” Chenle all but whispered out. He was not alone in the confusion.

“Stop it.” Jisung finally took a look around the room, frowning at what he saw in front of him. “This is ridiculous, fighting over this. I don’t care if you hang out with her or not.”

“But-”

“This whole thing was blown way out of proportion. I was stupid and immature to not even talk to her. Honestly I’m more mad at myself than at her.” To say that everyone was shocked was an understatement. 

“I’m so sick of this. This is why I didn’t want to do this in the first place.” He sighed standing up. “I’m done being mad without an explanation.”

Jisung treaded heavily towards his room, making up his mind that this was going to be the last time they fought over you. Tomorrow he would clear things up.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

“Just a minute!” You rubbed your eyes blearily, glancing at your phone. 7 am, on a Saturday?

You flattened your hair the best you could, throwing on a sweatshirt hastily as you opened the door. 

You sucked your breath, heart dropping at the sight of Jisung in front of you.

“Jisung?” Suddenly you felt very bare, standing in front of him with a sweatshirt and your pajamas. But you pushed away the embarrassment, caving to the pent up anger and humiliation that you still felt. 

You frowned at him, “What do you want?”

He visibly winced at the tone, biting his lip anxiously. “Could- can we talk?”

But to be honest, you didn’t really want to talk with him at the moment. “Now’s not a good time.”

To be fair you did have an appointment soon. Not ridiculously soon that you couldn’t manage to squeeze in a talk, but you weren’t going to try very hard.

“Oh.” He ruffled his hair nervously. “Um… when do you have time?” He asked, this time not willing to let go so easily.

For a moment you thought about telling him that you simply didn’t want to face him, that you wouldn’t ever have time for him. But even you knew that was far too cruel. And to be honest, a talk was what you wanted in the first place. 

“Lunch?” You mumbled out, “I can do noon.”

He was quick to agree, and soon enough you were left alone in your apartment again. Empty and quiet on a Saturday morning, as it should be, but for some reason you felt uneasy.

It seemed that Jisung was keeping a very keen eye out for you, because the moment you walked through the door, his eyes locked with yours. 

He waved you over as enthusiastically as he could, which wasn’t very much. He could feel the heavy air already as you averted your eyes.

You felt a twinge of flutters in your stomach, but you pushed them down. This was the first time, since you had gone to the bookstore, that you had spent time together, just the two of you.

It felt like a date, but it was far from it.

Jisung cleared his throat awkwardly, “I heard the pasta is really good here.”

You raised your eyebrows at the suggestion, choosing to be as civil as you could. You weren’t here to cause another fight, or whatever happened between the two of you, you were here to reconcile.

“Really, then I’ll try the Carbonara.” A small smile was tacked on at the end of your sentence as you noticed Jisung eyeing you nervously.

He smiled back.

Then he set the menu down. 

He sighed deeply before continuing, “First off, I really want to apologize for the way I treated you. I was avoiding you and acting like a jerk, really. I just… when we saw you at the diner, I was just slammed with a bunch of emotions and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I know that’s a shitty excuse, but I just couldn’t handle it, and then I think a part of me was embarrassed by the way that I acted, so I avoided you more. But then things blew up. Everything fell apart with my friends, then they started fighting and picking sides, and I realized that none of this was worth it. I was mad and upset for no reason.”

He stopped, weary of your expression before continuing. “I don’t know if I even deserve an explanation, or a second chance.”

Jisung must have lost confidence, as he wavered at the end of his sentence.

You plucked up the courage that you had, nodding in agreement.

“I think you deserve an explanation.” You sighed, thinking back to the moment they saw you. “Lucas... we had set up a date before you had even asked me, and I thought it would be wrong to ditch him, especially without explanation. When you walked in, I had actually just told him… about you.”

Your throat suddenly felt dry and you reached for your glass. “It didn’t feel right to see both of you at the same time, whether I liked you both or not. I’m going to be honest with you, Lucas is a great guy, I would be extremely happy with someone like him, but...But he doesn’t make me feel the way you make me feel.”

You glanced up through your eyelashes, weary of his expression, quickly moving on after your confession.

“And you’re right, I really think that things blew way out of proportion, that all could’ve been solved with a conversation, it didn’t need to wait this long.”

He nodded, admitting to his fault. But his mind kept wandering back to what you had said.

The way he made you feel?

He felt a sudden rush of giddiness, before he managed to hide it.

By the time the food had arrived you were well into your conversation, both of you had agreed to move past this. It wasn’t going to be easy to forget, and maybe that was the best way to move forward with your relationship.

You caught up with each other, Jisung telling stories of the stupid things that he and his friends do, mostly Haechan. The most recent of his escapades having to do with a deck of cards and a street lamp on a particularly cold night. 

Jisung reveled at the sound of your laughter, cursing himself for waiting this long to talk to you. Why had he been so afraid? What had stopped him before?

“So how exactly do I make you feel?” He asked teasingly, whilst wiggling his eyebrows.

You laughed nervously at him, realizing that maybe it was a mistake to let him get so comfortable with you. 

Or maybe it meant the start of something great.

Part 1

© Copyright 2021. hyuckssunchip. All rights reserved.

[lewispandora]

Middle of the Night | Wong Yukhei (Lucas)

In which you and Lucas can’t be together but still do it in secret in the middle of the night. 

Pairing: idol!Lucas x fem!reader

Genre: angst, smut, fluffy (?)

Word count:  1.8k

WARNINGS ⚠️: cheating, sex

A/N: It's really important to say that this was my first smut EVER. Actually, it was the first thing I wrote that was over 200 words lol. So please, be understanding to anything that is just not it yet – I promise I’ll get better with time. Also, this was inspired by Monsta X's Middle of the Night (those who know this song will get it as soon as they start reading it tbh). Another thing: although there is smut in here, this is not supposed to be a smut-focused scenario, the focus here is the agnsty situation Lucas and y/n are in. I’ll try to write a part II for this.

Ten and Yangyang’s thin screams could be heard all over the dorm followed by an angry and very Chinese Kun shouting “It’s too late for this!” Hendery was running after Bella who had one of his shoes on her mouth and Leon jumped from the dinner table to Xiaojun’s lap, spilling the Dak Gomtang he was having all over the floor. Winwin and Lucas could hear him exclamate “Oh no! Leon, it was the last portion! That is all Ten’s fault!”, although they both remained unfazed: it was just another normal late night in the WayV dorm afterall. 

“Louis, come here, come,” Winwin called for the cat, extending his hand towards him without taking his eyes off the phone. “Good boy,” he said after feeling the fur on his hand, patting the cat’s head. “Hey Lucas, do you want to watch something? Our schedule tomorrow is late anyway-” 

“TEN TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CAT!”

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? LEON WAS WITH YOU!”

“YES BUT IT WAS YOU WHO TAUGHT HIM TO BE SMART!”

“CAN YOU GUYS STOP SCREAMING, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS?”

“Why do I even live with these people?” Winwin sighed. “So, what do you say?’

Lucas was just going to say yes when his phone vibrated with your message. It was simple and short: 

“Can you come over?”

It was all he needed. 

“I can’t today, I’m going out.”

“What do you mean you’re going out? It’s winter midnight, Lucas. It’s her, isn’t it?” he asked, already knowing the answer just by the head tilt Lucas gave. “Dude, for how long do you intend to keep with this? Xuxi, you can’t-”

“Just save it for another time when I am devastated and will actually be willing to listen to you, okay? We both know it won’t take too long to happen anyway.” Lucas said and left the room. 

He got the first coats and first boots he could find, knowing he couldn’t take too much or you could change your mind. He knew it quite well, it was not the first time he was in this situation. 

To be honest, you two didn’t remember when you first met and it wasn’t important. The relevant facts were that you were truly and deeply in love when the time came for him to debut. As an idol, specially a SM idol, you could not even think about staying together: any scandal evolving Lucas meant a scandal evolving all NCT members and that was something he just couldn’t do. You understood him because deep down you always knew it would happen. So you distanced yourself from him for a while, met a rich guy ten years older than you and decided to stay with him – not because he was a nice guy because he certainly wasn’t, but because it was your way to remind yourself that Lucas was actually not the bad guy, he suffered just like you did. 

You two barely talked for ten months until his birthday came and he had the audacity to invite you. That was when everything started. Lucas was just as stunning as ever, his eyes glowing by the faint mention of the new permanent subunit he was in or the members that inhered it. But it was nothing compared to the way he looked at you when you  arrived. 

Feeling as dislocated as you could feel, you stayed in the corner for most part of the party, just capturing Lucas’ moves throughout the entire party. Mark was the closest NCT member you knew so you didn’t mind when he approached you all of a sudden to say:

“Hey! Heard you got into the university you wanted, congratulations, y/n!”

“Oh, thank you Mark. Congratulations on the success you are having down there in America as well.”

“Thank you. That’s sweet of you.” He took a deep sip of his drink. “So, why don’t you try talking with him more? I bet no one is going to find it… weird. Go there, I know you want to.”

You were indecisive for a moment, switching your gaze between Lucas and Mark but, being backed by his securing look, you held your breath and stood up, going straight to the birthday boy. That was when he looked at you and directed his cute, excited and goofy smile towards you that you found out: you were not only truly and deeply in love with Lucas. You were also madly crazy for him. 

Ever since then, you started doing the most insane thing you thought you would never be able to do: everytime you missed him too much and you knew your boyfriend wouldn’t appear, you sent Lucas a message asking him to come over. It didn’t matter what you guys did, it just had to be in between four walls and kept a secret by both of you.  You didn’t care what it was nor what it meant, you just had to have him. 

Tonight was one of those nights. Tired from all the college studies and your work, you took advantage of the fact that your boyfriend was in Daegu for a business trip and decided it was the moment to call him. 

Lucas took less than thirty minutes to arrive at your studio. He didn’t even wait for the door to be properly opened before taking you on his arms and kissing your lips.

“Why did you take this long to message me?” he asked, lips still connected to yours. 

“I’m sorry, it was the end of semester. I barely had time to sleep and I wanted to have a clean schedule so I could be only for you.” Nothing more was needed to be said. He knew you meant it.

Rapidly closing the door, Lucas turned himself back to you. Caressing your cheeks, he felt his eyes water. He was just so lucky to have you, even if it wasn’t as a whole. Even if it was just for a brief moment. Even if you actually weren’t his.

“Come, I have your favourite snacks. We can eat while relaxing, watching something.”

“I only want you,” he said softly, holding your buttcheeks and squeezing them while pushing you closer to him. The kiss shared by you two started calm and romantic but swiftly got fast and very needy. You pulled Lucas' hair a little bit, trying to contain the heat growing in your lower body but soon giving up. 

“Just take me. Take me, please.”

Slowly directing his kiss to your neck, Lucas moved both of your bodies towards your bed, gently placing you on it. He grinned just by looking at your body under his. You were so vulnerable and, no matter what others said, so his. He took your pyjamas while taking his time to kiss every single part of your body, eyes not leaving yours even for one second, stopping only after having you in your lingerie. 

Now it was your turn. Moving his head up to face yours, you started taking his clothes off. Some could feel bothered by the amount of layers due to the wintry cold but it wasn’t the case for the two of you. All you wanted to do was feel and kiss each other, deep gaze at each other. And that’s what you did. After taking his coat, jumper and shirt, you found yourself lost on his soft lips again. Kissing him passionately, you stroke his hair, slightly pulling him afar so you could down your kisses to his jaw. 

Lucas sighed at almost every touch of yours on his body. He had this soft look eyeing you, had given up trying to stop smiling a while ago. You kept going down his neck, placing wet kisses and smooth bites here and there just to make him abruptly lose air. You stopped to look at him once more before moving down to where a happy trail would be. Anticipating what was to come, Lucas held strands of your hair and lifted you chin so he could kiss you. 

When your mouth watered his manhood, it was still covered by his pants. You placed kisses in the entirety of his cock while massaging his balls, not taking your eyes off his. Lucas was so beautiful in every angle but this was by far one of your favourites. Smirking to yourself, you lowered his pants, revealing a knob wet by precum. 

Just the direct contact of your mouth and his dick was enough to make Lucas groan loud. The effect you had on him was indescribable. You started taking him with your mouth and hands but slowly let him play with you while fucking your face. Even doing so, he made sure to fill his actions with suavity and passion. When he felt he was close, Lucas switched places with you, putting you under his body again. 

“Y/n,” he said as he started trailing down kisses from your neck to your venus mount “you are so beautiful, so precious, so  special. I hope you know that.” And with no previous warning, he buried his face in your pussy. 

Eating you out into oblivion while kneading your breasts, Lucas made you quiver and arch you back like no one else ever did, like only he was able to. Making you moan his name and other inaudible things, you came undone. Not wasting any time, Lucas directed himself towards you, kissing you, making you taste your own juices. 

With no previous warnings, he sank his dick inside you. One hand holding himself over you and the other holding you hand, Lucas started his thrusts slowly but quickly lost patience. Moaning your name while hearing you moan his, Lucas bit your lips, your jaw, your neck and your collarbone, trying to contain the killing amount of pleasure he was feeling – and trying to make you feel the same. Lucas was a sinner and he knew this well but he also did not care a bit: all he wanted was you, was to feel and fill you. 

With sweat covering your bodies and shameful noises leaving your mouths, Lucas started to pound into you even harder. He was going crazy, completely mad. There was not even an inch that should stay untouched by him, not a single piece of your body that shouldn’t have his traces in it. You didn’t know where your mind was for a while already, all you were able to do was mark Lucas’ back while bouncing to his pace and moan his name uncontrollably among with other sounds which meanings are to be known. Actually, you did know: amiss. A terrible one. But you couldn’t care less. 

When your bodies couldn’t take it anymore, you both gave in to the suffocating feeling and came together. You crying in pleasure, Lucas filling you with his love. That was all you two needed. You were happy again. You were complete again. 

Unfortunately, the moment was not dogged to last too long. Before the sun rose up, without people noticing his steps, before the traces of your damnable actions could be alluded, Lucas would go back to his ways in the middle of the night just to pretend nothing really happened.

[starshipsofstarlord]

Hello I hope you are doing well, I was wondering if you could do a part 3 of blokes on wheels

Blokes On Wheels

5th Second Masterlist | Blokes on Wheels; Part One | Part Two

Summary | Ashton is conflicted, and confides once more in the only person that he can; Calum. It so happens that the bassist is babysitting Lacey, and has some things to reveal to the drummer himself

Warnings | angst, unrequited feelings, slight references to sex, fluff, flashbacks

Quick link to my masterlist, if you’re interested in reading more of my crap 😬

He stared at the child of his friend’s, picking out her features. Admittedly she was a beautiful baby, but he could see how Luke stared at him through her, the resemblance uncanny, and scary. The thought that he dove head first into this proposition, and the offspring, that he would not be allowed to call his own child, or inform of the truth, and coming out looking like him, would be his worst dream.

At least, if it was a perfect replica of yourself, then he’d only know of his genetical connection to it, and it wouldn’t be blatantly shamed in front of his face. “Dude, chill, it’s not like you’re being told that you have to go through with it, I actually think it might be better if you don’t.”

Calum spoke, placing a glass on the coffee table, sitting on the couch beside Ash, as he rested Lacey upon his lap, bouncing her on his knee causing giggles to emit from her small chest. “What do you mean?” Ash frowned, cocking his head towards the bassist, having a feeling that he would not at all like what left his mouth.

“I mean... you like y/n. Getting involved in this isn’t fair for anyone, if anything, I’d even say that it’s a bit selfish mate.” He gulped, allowing the words to sink in, as he glanced once more at Lacey. “If she finds out, or Luke, do you know how guilty they’d feel for putting this decision on you?”

“What am I supposed to do then?” The elder male asked, plucking his nails against his knuckles, to ease his serious nerves. It was true, the entire ordeal was one of great pressure, he’d not even be able to tell his mum that he had a kid out in the world, less so of who the mother was.

“Nothing.” Calum simply answered, allowing Lacey to play with the chords of his hoodie, momentarily smiling down at the growing infant. “You do nothing, I’ve got the rest covered.”

“Wait-“ Ashton thought for a second, before accusing his friend of getting involved. “Did you offer to take my spot?” He furrowed his brows firmly, listening as Lacey babbled, the noises feeling like laughter at his expense.

Laughter that meant that her future sibling was to not be spawned from him, mocking his loneliness and his affections towards her mother. “I protected you Ash from your own impulses. Do nothing, and let every go about in a more calm route, otherwise there will be drama, and you won’t be the only one hurt.”

“You’re probably right, I’ll think on it.” Ash mumbled, breathing in, filling his lungs with air so that he could bring more light to his mind. “I wish I could go back to the days that I saw her as a friend, and I didn’t care if her and Luke were together. Things were simpler in the old days.”

“They sure were buddy.” Cal nodded, feeling great sympathy for his friend. It wasn’t every day that Ash happened to fall for someone, but this time, the instance was definitely the worst, there were far too many complications.

Ash walked into the hotel room, unraveling the bandana from his head, finding you laying upon Luke’s chest, both of you trapped in a deep slumber. He was relieved that the two of you had finished your business before he decided to walk in, now he would not have to suffer through the pain of hearing his two best friends going at it.

Thanks to that bet, he was always stuck in a room with you and Luke, if the hotels were full, and the pair of you were unable to get your own space. Mikey and Cal were the lucky ones, pulling the long straws whilst Ashton had been stuck with the short.

A smile creeped onto the drummer’s face as he glanced at the pair of you, getting changed for bed, as he listened to Luke’s snoring and your own tiresome sounds. The babies of the band, that was what the two of you were.

He held in a snort at the sight of Luke, his quiff was tousled hardly keeping shape, as it had indents of where your fingers had ran through. The pair of you were adorable, everyone knew that nothing could split the two of you up, including the media.

And frankly, if the two of you had never been an item, Ashton was sure that none of you would be where you were now; on tour and gifted with fame. “Night guys.” He mumbled happily as he got under his own covers, turning the light off, and hitting the hay.

“It’s almost been too long that we’ve had a night to ourselves.” You mumbled against your husband’s chest, dragging your lips along the hairs that were rooted out from his skin. His arm wrapped around your bare back, pulling your face up to his as he met you with a chaste as sweet kiss.

“Definitely.” He spoke, brushing your hair out of your face, biting his lip as he looked at your gorgeous face. “I love you Mrs Hemmings. You do know exactly how to make me feel better, even if I’m incapable of giving you what you want.”

“You are everything I want.” You frowned, cupping his face and stroking his light scruff with the pads of your thumbs. “You and Lacey are my family Lu, and no matter what route we take, we’ll have another baby, so long as that’s still something that you want?”

“It is.” He admired, brushing his nose against yours. “Cal said he’ll be a fall back if Ashton decides he doesn’t want to be involved in this whole baby making thing.”

“That’s rather nice of him.” You smiled, staring into the azure eyes of your husband, thinking of how you could always rely on your band mates; they were always there for you when you fell on your feet, and for more serious concerns, including this disadvantage that the pair of you had stumbled across. “I guess we’ll see.”

“I guess we will.”

“I can’t see!” You squealed out in the showers backstage, after soap falling in your eyes, trying to brush it out with water, but finding, despite using such a method in the past, that it had not helped. “Can someone get me a towel? Luke?”

Ashton rushed around, grabbing the material you and brought with you to dry your hair, covering his eyes as he passed it over, respecting your decency, having some modesty himself. “There you go.”

“What would I do without you Ash?” You laughed as you wiped your eyes, after pausing the spray of water that was warming your body. You draped it over the side, next rubbing your eyes with your fingers, them feeling sore from the foam that had sunk into them.

“Probably go blind.” He chuckled, having faced away from you, finding it relaxing to speak to you, more so with the stream of water that continued, bringing a peaceful aura to the small talk.

“At least then you’d be my eyes and ears, old man.” He was 21, but by now, he was used to you poking fun at him being older, and still looking as though he were a drop out like the rest of you.

“No, I think not. The things that happen between you and Lucas, I have no intention of seeing. I’ve seen enough from another perspective, I’m not gonna be some voyeur for your own aid.” A laugh escaped from you as you rinsed any remnants of shampoo out of your hair, reaching for the conditioner, squeezing a dollop out onto your palm.

“Don’t lie, you love us Irwin.” He shook his head, snorting a little, as he tapped his foot against the floor.

“Never said I didn’t, but I don’t want in on free porn your sex life. I for sure don’t want to see how you conceive your future children.” He jokingly gagged, causing you to roll your shampoo free eyes at his dismissal, reaching out to lightly shove him and push him away with a wet hand.

“If you say so drummer boy.” Oh, how things had changed.

[j0elmill3r]

Me And You Together Song

Chris Evans x Daughter!reader

Jaeden Martell x Reader

Chris Evans Masterlist

Part Two of The Tonight Show [Read Here!]

Warnings; Swearing, mentions of past abuse, mentions of manipulative exes, ft. sebby stan

word count; 2.1k

A/N; Kinda didn't follow what the request was looking for because I didn't know how to write it, but I hope this is okay. I made sebby appear because I can and it's not a day in New York without the man himself

--

Chris sighed as your phone went to voicemail for the fifth time. You were meant to be up an hour ago so you could go and get something to eat, but you were still sleeping, as per usual. Chris was trying his hardest not to go into yours and Jaeden's room, he wasn't hoping to see you in bed with someone that was your boyfriend, not yet. To him, you were the same little girl who came running in from the backyard after falling from the swings and cutting your knee, and you needed him to kiss it better. But eventually, he had to go and get you, first of all, he was worried, and second, he was hungry as fuck. Chris was glad Jaeden had given him a spare key last night, but he knocked first.

"Y/N, Jaeden. Are you alive?" There was no response except snoring, who Chris couldn't identify if it were yours or your boyfriends. Chris sighed and opened the door, relief flooding his body when he saw that both you and Jaeden were fully clothed and cuddled up to each other, his arms around you tightly. "I don't know whether to gush or throw up," He said to himself. Chris tried making as much noise as possible, but neither of the 17-year-olds in the bed woke up. Moving over to the lightswitch, Chris flicked the switch on and off until he heard you groan. You twisted out of Jaeden's arms and your arm flopped out of the bed.

"Jae, quit it," you groaned, your eyes still clenched shut because it felt like you were in a colourless rave.

"That's not me," He told you. Your eyes opened and from the shape of the body standing over at the light switch, you could make it out to be your dad standing with his arms crossed over his chest.

"Hi, Dad," You greeted him. Chris walked over to the nightstand and pressed the home button on your phone and saw his contact name on your screen.

Dad

5 Missed Calls

"5 times. You really have a habit of forgetting things, Y/N. Do I wanna know what time you both fell asleep or did you just fall asleep?" He asked. You sat up and sat still for a second before looking up at your dad, your eyes still squinted.

"What time is it?"

"9 am," He told you. Jaeden laughed dryly and turned to you, a tired look on his face.

"I told you we would regret staying up until 6," He told you. You rolled your eyes and playfully pushed his shoulder. "Ow," He groaned.

"Shut up," You turned to your dad. "Look, I'm sorry. We didn't plan on staying up so late and we kinda forgot that time was a concept" You pulled the puppy dog eyes that you had learned from your dad, he could never stay mad at you for long if you used them.

"It's okay. I have some stuff to do today, so you two are on your own. If I come back and either of you is in anyway undressed, you," He pointed at you. "Are grounded for life," You nodded. "And please don't get lost, I don't wanna drag Sebastian around New York looking for both of you," He said.

"You're gonna go see Seb?" he nodded from where he was standing at the door. "Tell him I said hi," Your dad said goodbye and then left both of you.

"Okay, we need to go and get food. I don't know about you, but I'm starving," You nodded at Jaedens suggestion. "There's a place I saw a few blocks from here,"

"And you just happened to be on the lookout for places?" You asked him. Jaeden turned to look at you and gave you a serious look.

"Of course I was, I couldn't be wandering around New York not knowing places to go and get breakfast. Jesus Christ, Y/N, who do you take me for?" You laughed at him as you fell back onto the bed and onto his chest.

"I don't know, I certainly didn't take you as someone who was so into food places in New York. I was literally just gonna go to iHop," You told him. "And anyway, I thought you hated going out in New York because you get scared you'll lose me in the literal sea of people," You reminded him.

"Yeah, but you've grown around 3 inches and I can see you now that you dyed your hair lighter," He ran his fingers through your hair that you convinced your dad to let you make more blonde than it was, it was similar to your dads', but a little darker. "But, if you wanna go to iHop, that's fine, I don't mind," He smiled down at you.

"You should go shower," You suggested to him. He looked down at you with a furrowed brow.

"Are you trying to tell me something?" You sat up and smiled at him innocently, shaking your head.

"No, but you should just go and shower," You said, putting your hand on his chest. He huffed and got out of bed, turning back to face you. But as if you could predict what he was going to say, you throw a pillow at him full force, causing him to grunt as it hit his face. "Shower!" He threw the pillow back at you and went into the bathroom. In the space of an hour, you were both ready. Your laptop was open and playing your playlist from Spotify, Bloody Valentine by Machine Gun Kelly playing from the speakers.

"This song is stupid," You turned to face Jaeden, shock was written on your face. "I mean, what is it even about?" He asked you.

"It doesn't matter. Megan Fox is in the music video, that's all that matters," You told him. Jaeden closed your laptop and put it in your bag. Then crossing his arms and tilting his head, his hair falling to one side.

"Okay then, would you rather me or Megan Fox?" He asked you. Your jaw dropped to the floor at his question, picking between those two things was like asking if you had to choose between a brain or a heart, both things are important. "Did you seriously just ask me that?" Jaeden nodded and smirked. "You, obviously. But it's Megan fucking Fox, you're telling me you don't find her attractive?" You asked him.

"I think everyone finds her attractive," He murmured.

"Thank you! Don't get your underwear in a twist over Megan Fox, Jae. You have my heart," You told him as you kissed him on the nose. Jaeden pouted, making you furrow your eyebrows. "What?" "You missed," He told you. "I did? Well, I apologize, but that's what you get when you shit on Machine Gun Kelly,"

--

"Do we have to?" Jaeden whined. You nodded and took his hand, dragging him into Macy's.

"Yes, because if I go home without something for Miles and Stella, they'll never talk to me again and that'll be really awkward when I have to babysit," You told him. "And I thought the toy aisle was your favourite?" You asked him mockingly. Jaeden shook his head and flipped you off. "Jaeden Martell! How dare you make such obscene gestures in the children's toy aisle!"

"My sincerest apologies, Lady Y/N," He said. You laughed and picked something out for your younger cousins. "Alright, can we like sit down or something, my feet hurt," He complained.

"Okay, we can go for lunch now if you want, that way you can stop bitching," You told him.

"For the daughter of Captain America, you really do have a mouth on you," He said. "I would quote the line but you're probably sick of hearing it between fans and your dad," You nodded.

"Okay, since I chose breakfast, you can choose lunch. I don't mind where, I'll pay," You told him.

"You sure?" You nodded. "Alright, I know a place. Jack told me about it and said it was pretty good, I know where it is though," He said.

"The last time you said that we ended up in downtown L.A and nearly dying," You reminded him. "We were just lucky because Scott happened to be driving around,"

"That was one time,"

"And I'm sure it won't be the last," You left Macy's and walked to the place Jaeden was talking about, and walking in you knew he had asked Jack for recommendations. "This is nice," You said as you were seated. You took your jacket off and shivered as your bare arms were exposed to the air.

"How are you cold?" Jaeden asked you incredulously. You shrugged and smiled as he pulled his hoodie off, handing it over to you.

"You're amazing," You said fondly. Jaeden chuckled.

"I try my best,"

--

"Y/N looks a lot happier," Sebastian said. Chris took a drink of his beer and nodded. "I know the last year wasn't exactly easy, but she's doing better," Chris nodded.

"Yeah, she deserves it, really, she does. Jaeden helped her a lot too, I can't take all of the credit," Chris told Sebastian.

"Yeah. That Lucas dude fucked her around, I'm surprised you didn't kill the little dick," Chris laughed and nodded.

"No, that night I saw the look in Y/N's eyes and knew she needed me. And trust me, I would have," Chris hated thinking about Lucas and what he had done to you. He was manipulative and if you ever said you were thinking of leaving him, he would say he would hurt himself and it would be all your fault. He had hit you on a few occasions too, but you would always tell yourself he never meant it, and that the bruises your dad saw were just because you were clumsy. "But, I know that Jaeden would never hurt Y/N, not on purpose. I trust him with her, and I trust Y/N to know the signs now,"

"I don't know much about this whole 'parenting' gig, Chris, but I know that you're doing well with Y/N, ever since I've known you, you always put her first. I mean, you basically told the Russos that if they kept you on set for an hour longer, you wouldn't be there the next morning because you were gonna be late for her soccer game," Chris laughed at the memory Sebastian had brought up.

"Yeah, she won that game. She scored the winning goal," He smiled. "They're probably still awake," Chris looked at the time on his phone, 01:34.

"You should probably go, don't you have a flight at 12?" Sebastian asked. Chris nodded.

"Yeah, it's not me that has the problem waking up, it's the two insomniac teenagers who stayed up until 6 am yesterday,"

--

You were snoring away softly while Jaeden was watching something on his phone, using your head as a stand. Your head was laid on his chest and your body was pressed up as close as possible against his. Jaeden's other arm was around you, his arm going all the way around you and coming to your waist. The door clicked open, but it was only your dad.

"Shit, sorry. I thought you'd both be awake," Chris said. Jaeden put his phone down on the nightstand. "Since when did Y/N fall asleep before 3 am?"

"She was saying she was tired today, we were watching Netflix and next thing I knew she was asleep and now I can't move her," Jaeden said. Chris sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Do you want me to move her?" Chris asked. Jaeden shook his head and looked down at you.

"It's fine, she'll probably move anyway," He said.

"Alright, I'll go," Chris stood up and walked to the door, but turned back last minute. "Thank you, Jaeden," "Oh uh- what for?" Jaeden furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Looking after her. I know she can be closed off sometimes, but she really loves you Jaeden. Next thing I know you'll be running to me asking to marry her," Chris said. Jaeden laughed quietly, and the vibrating of his chest made you groan in annoyance.

"Give it a few years," Jaeden moved down and tried not to disturb you again in fear he might get a pillow to the face. "Good night, Chris,"

"You guys talk too loud," You said tiredly. "My dad really likes you," You told him. "Thanks?" You got delirious when you were tired. "You should go back to sleep, it's late," He told you.

"You go to sleep too then," You said. "And plus, 'm not even tired," You said, a yawn interrupting you. Jaeden nodded, playing along with you.

"Right, just put your head back down and cuddle with me again, I'm cold," He said. You put your head back on his chest and fell asleep in about 3 seconds. "Not tired my ass,"

--

Permanent Taglist; Open!

@rushmannatalia@ellaorelizabeth@supermoonchildbroski @stat89posts​@sadconfusedgirl@mycupoffanfictionreplies@thefaescottage @an-adventureland@rororo06 @xxaamzxx@joycesld@feminist-fan-girl@nixphomaniac​  @our-whitetulips-us@yungblud01@asonofpeter@coolest-avenger​ @stat89posts@supernaturallover2002 @jenniferroseee​ @thecenturyofmusic @roxybefab​ @lexjadeee @cold-finch @justrandom02

[voleurdesoleil-archive]

Lucky Escape

Fandom: The Wayhaven Chronicles

Pairing: Male Detective (Jonah Rafferty) x Adam x Nate

Word count: 2.6k

!! cW !! mentions of blood, insults and toxic relationship

read on ao3

Today could have been a peaceful day, and it was, at least until someone came in to report that their van had been stolen. At first, Jonah didn’t pay much attention to it as Douglas was doing a surprisingly good job taking the owner’s statement. The voice sounded familiar, but Jonah couldn’t place a name or a face on it, so he didn’t linger on it. That was until the man started making a scene in front of the whole station.

“Are you even listening to me!”

The guy was yelling in Douglas’ face who was throwing distressed looks at Jonah. As he rushed out of his office, the guy turned around and Jonah stopped right away.

“If it isn’t Jonah Rafferty!” The man said mockingly.

“Luke…”

“So it’s true? You’re the new sheriff in town?”

Jonah ignored the question and walked to the front desk. He glanced over the report that Douglas was filling, but didn’t see any reason for the scene Luke was making so he asked: “What’s the problem Douglas?”

The Mayor’s son opened his mouth to answer but Luke interrupted him. “The problem is that your secretary doesn’t take his job seriously!”

“Officer Friedman isn’t a secretary,” Jonah said, stressing Douglas’ function. “And for all I see, there are no mistakes in his report.” Jonah added, giving him a reassuring smile to which Douglas let out a sigh or relief.

“Of course you’re gonna defend him! Is he your little boy toy?”

A shocked silence settled on the station as the officers quickly went back to work pretending they weren’t listening when Jonah took a look around him. Jonah’s jaw clenched and his hands balled into fists as Luke looked all proud of himself, a smug grin settling on his face.

“If you cannot respect my officers, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave this station and start looking for your van on your own.” Jonah spoke each word clearly, trying to be as stoic as possible.

“Oh…” Luke let out, his grin growing even bigger on his face. Deciding to ignore Jonah’s warning he added: “So you’re the boy toy this time, aren’t you? Exactly like you were with that reporter! What’s his name again? Bobby something…”

“We have your report, I’ll put someone on the case.” Jonah stated trying to ignore Luke.

“Can you put that cute little chick on the case? No offense but I don’t want your deviant ass near my car -” if Jonah didn’t know him better, he could have believed Luke’s apologetic smile, until he gestured to Douglas and added: “-nor your little boy toy."

“I’ll put Officer Len on the case.”

“Oh come on Jonah! Be a sweetheart and put Poname on my case, I’ve been trying to land that ch-”

“That’s enough! Can you have some respect for the officers of this station? You don’t like me fine! I couldn’t care less! But those people did nothing to you and deserve to be treated with respect so if you can’t do that I’m gonna ask you once again to leave!”

There was a moment of silence after Jonah had finally bursted out, but the sneer that grew on Luke’s face told him he had only fueled his stupidity.

“Or else what?” He had gained everyone’s attention. “Do you want me to tell them how much of a slut you are? I know about a lot of your boyfriends, or should I call them boy toys?” He was turning the station into his own little stage on which he was strutting proudly. “I’m afraid that little reporter of yours is incapable of holding his tongue…”

Jonah knew that whatever Bobby had told Luke, it was probably lies, but nevertheless he couldn’t risk losing his colleagues’ respect. Not now. Not after he’d worked so hard to gain it.

“What do you want?” Jonah resigned.

But Luke wasn’t even listening to him. “So let’s see! There was Taylor, Lucas, Zeke, Ryan, the guy from the bookstore, the exchange student, the delivery dude, that one was very low Jonah, Simon, Chris, who else? Jack, Frank, another Taylor, Percy…”

Jonah stopped listening as Luke kept enumerating the names of guys who actually had just been his classmates, or guys Bobby cheated with. The only ones he had actually dated were the exchange student, whose name was Arthur, he was also his French tutor, one of the Taylors and Lucas.

“Are you done making a fool of yourself?” Jonah asked as Luke stopped talking. “If you’re done, I think you can-”

“Oh, but I’m not done sweetheart, there’s one last person to talk about…” Luke cut him. “How about we talk about Bobby Marks now? I thought he was a slut, just like you, but turns out he’s actually a really nice guy. He told me a lot of things about you that I probably shouldn’t talk about-”

“Then don’t!”

Jonah looked over Luke’s shoulder and saw Tina standing in the doorway. She was coming in to start her shift.

“Officer!” Luke exclaimed, embarrassed. “How long have you been here?”

“Long enough to know you should probably be leaving.” She said, stepping aside to hold the door open. “Have a nice day, sir.”

She waited for Luke to get out and be out of view to step back inside the station. But before she even reached Jonah’s office, he had already left his gun in his desk and grabbed his coat.

“I need some fresh hair.” he simply said walking past her.

___

"Jonah! We’ve been looking for you everywhere! Tina said-” Nate froze in the middle of the training room. “Jonah?"

Jonah was kneeling on the floor, his bloody hands laying on his laps. His ragged breath was interspersed with sobs. The punching bag above him, was stained with his blood and so were his clothes. He didn’t react when Nate called his name another time.

Nate wanted to rush to him but the intense smell of his blood made him scared to even take a step.

"What happened?"

"Get out…”

“Jonah?”

“Get out!” Jonah yelled. His teary eyes were filled with an indefinable mix of rage and despair as he turned his head towards the vampire.

The door burst open as the other vampires rushed to the training room. Seeing the bloody mess surrounding Jonah’s hunched figure, none of them dared to say anything, but Adam rushed to Nate’s side.

“Get! Out!” Jonah yelled one last time, almost pleading as Adam took another step forward.

Morgan walked to Nate and grabbed his arm. “Nate…Come on…” she said as Farah was pushing Adam out of the room, leaving the detective alone.

___

A couple hours later, Adam was knocking on Jonah’s door. He slowly opened the door, only peeking his head in the room. Jonah was sitting on his bed, trying to bandage his left hand. Bo was sleeping next to him. “Can I come in?"

The detective simply nodded.

Adam walked to Jonah and sat at the foot of the bed. Seeing that he was struggling with the bandage, Adam scooted closer and took Jonah’s left hand in his. “Let me help you…” he whispered, to which Jonah gave a grateful smile.

Blood was already seeping through the layers of gauze and, as he gently wrapped Jonah’s hand, Adam couldn’t help but wonder how long he had been in that training room, punching that bag, before they found him for his knuckles to be as bloodied as they were. Jonah winced as Adam wrapped his hand one last time.

“I’m sorry, did I wrap it too tight?” he instantly worried.

“No, it’s okay.”

Adam could feel Jonah’s pulse under his fingers as he was holding the bandage in place while Jonah was cutting a piece of medical tape. Even though he could hear his heartbeat, feeling it, feeling its irregularity when their hands brushed over the piece of tape and exchanged a gaze, was a wonder for Adam. It was something so simple and yet something he would never get used to.

His hands lingered on Jonah’s after he was done and they stayed like that for a while, not saying anything, simply holding each other’s gaze and hands as a comfortable silence settled around them. The world blurs and blends together until all they can feel and sense is each other.

"How are you doing?” He eventually asked. To which Jonah only shrugged. “Do you wanna talk about it?” He was once again given a shrug as an answer.

Seeing Jonah like that made his heart clench in his chest. His mission was to protect the human but he had failed so many times already. He felt so helpless. “Is there anything I can do?”

That’s when a tear rolled down Jonah’s cheek, quickly followed by way more and Adam, in a blurred movement, immediately closed the gap between them to envelop him in a reassuring embrace.

His hand softly rubbing Jonah’s back as he was slightly rocking them on the bed. He could feel his tears crashing on his skin and his cheeks becoming hot from the crying against his shoulder. He pressed a soft kiss on his hair, right above his ear.

“Je suis là, tout va bien,” Adam whispered, holding Jonah a little bit closer.

He held Jonah until the sobbing stopped and when the detective pulled away, Adam’s hand remained on his waist. Jonah rubbed his eyes and, with the back of his hand, wiped away his tears.

"I’m sorry…” Jonah said, his voice hoarse.

“No please, do not apologize Detective…"

Jonah chuckled upon hearing Adam calling him Detective and a smile grew on the vampire’s face as he heard that sound he loved so much.

"Are you feeling better?” Adam reached out to wipe away a stray tear but his hand lingered on the human’s face, cupping his cheek. Jonah leaned in the touch and, putting his hand above Adam’s, kissed his palm.

Jonah nodded. “Thank you…” he whispered against the vampire’s palm.

After a kissin on Adam’s knuckles, the detective grabbed his phone on the bedside table, and after quickly typing, threw it on the bed. The motion drew Adam’s gaze to the bandages wrapping both of his hands.

“I’m fine, don’t worry.” Jonah said as he noticed Adam’s worried gaze.

“I just wish you would have come to us instead of hurting yourself like that…” Adam’s voice was filled with regret.

“Adam… You being here right now is more than I could have wished for… ” Jonah reached up, gently cupping the vampire’s cheeks. “You are more than I could have wished for.”

Slowly, Jonah closed the distance between them, until their forehead touched. Until he could feel Adam’s breath tingling on his own lips.

Adam was the one to lean forward and capture Jonah’s lips. The kiss was surprisingly soft despite its intensity. The minty taste of Adam’s lips contrasted with the heat taking over Jonah’s body as his whole being was set on fire and that any remnants of sadness was instantly replaced with pure bliss.

Jonah’s heart pounded in his chest as Adam’s hand slided down his back, sending a shiver down his spine as his fingers barely grazed his skin through the fabric of his shirt. Slipping his hands on the back of Adam’s head, Jonah pulled him closer, deepening the kiss and slightly parting his mouth a bit more, wanting, needing to taste more of the vampire.

But the kiss was cut short by a soft knock on the door. Adam let out a frustrated groan against Jonah’s lips before parting as the door opened revealing Nate.

“Am I interrupting something?” The vampire asked as he felt the electrified atmosphere of the room.

Despite his desire to send him away, Jonah answered that he wasn’t and Nate closed the door behind him.

He waited for Nate to sit with them on the bed and took his hand while he gave a gentle squeeze to Adam’s. He knew why he asked Nate to join them, but having them both in front of him, looking at him expectantly, Jonah wasn’t so sure he had made the right decision.

“First of all, I want to apologize for what happened earlier. Today wasn’t a good day but that wasn’t a reason to take it out on you.” He pulled them both into a hug. “I’m really thankful to have you both and I know you just wanted to help, so I’m sorry for yelling at you.”

“Hey!” Nate cupped his cheek. “It’s okay, you needed some space, I think we can understand that.” The vampire said, to which Adam nodded in agreement.

Jonah nodded in return. “I cleaned everything, not sure if the smell is still there though…"

"We’ll take care of it, don’t worry about that.” Adam said.

“Now, apologies are great, but I think you at least deserve an explanation to my being in such a state."

"Jonah, you do not have to give us any explanation if you don’t feel like it.” Nate said sensing the uncertainty in Jonah’s voice.

“I know, Nate, but I want to.”

Upon those words, Nate gave him a gentle smile, which was all Jonah needed to gather up the courage to finally speak but, as Jonah started retelling the altercation he had had with Luke, everything he had tried burying deep down came back into ravaging waves.

Everything he had been planning on saying for the past hours was thrown out the window. His structured speech came out to be an overwhelming mess. Things he had told only to Tina and things he had never told to anyone came barreling out of his lips before he could stop them and through a curtain of tears he told them everything.

He told them about his high school band and his best friends outing him out in front of the whole town after kicking him out of the band for being polyamorous or as they would call him for the next few years “for being deviant”.

Adam and Nate weren’t saying anything. Adam’s gaze was completely focused on Jonah and Nate’s fingers were drawing incoherent forms on the back of his hand.

He told them about his hard time with the town and his hard beginning in the Wayhaven PD because of that. About being the talk of the town. About his colleagues giving him crass because he was only a slut in their eyes. About the people of Wayhaven yelling insults at him when they discovered he had been assigned to their case.

A worried frown immediately appeared on both their faces as Jonah stopped to avoid choking with his own tears. Adam and Nate both reacted at the same time and hugged their little human until he couldn’t breathe.

And he told them about Bobby. That still open wound. He told them about Bobby’s manipulation, about him using Jonah’s polyamory to explain his infidelities, about Bobby taking away pieces of himself so slowly that he never noticed until he was left with nothing.

Jonah could feel Adam’s grasp on his hand tighten as he told them about his past with Bobby and, both looking for comfort and to reassure Adam he made some space in between his legs and wrapped Adam’s arms around him like a blanket. With his back against Adam’s torso, he pulled his other boyfriend to him. Nate laid on the human’s laps who instinctively started raking his fingers through his hair, the vampire melting in his laps as he did so. They all chuckled when Bo started whining and came to sit on Nate’s stomach seeking affection.

They stayed like that for a while, until Jonah fell asleep. Nate held the human in his arms while Adam was opening the bedsheets. He gently laid him down before they both crawled under the sheets to cuddle their boyfriend. Pressing a kiss on Jonah’s they both sworn to protect the human so dear to their heart.

[ghostspideys-moved]

Jump Scare || J.B.

A/N: Honestly, I’m not totally sure if this takes place after canon events or not, so I’ll leave that to your imaginations.

Pairing: Jonathan x Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Going camping sounds relaxing enough, as long as you don’t get scared of the dark - or what lurks in it.

It’s been awhile since you've had time to relax, and it seems like everyone else is on the same page. Camping in the woods wasn't exactly how you pictured relaxing, but now that you're here, you're warming up to it. 

Sure, it did take a while to get everything set up, but now that it's out of the way, you're actually having a good time. 

You sit in front of the campfire, happily roasting marshmallows. Sitting next to you is your boyfriend, Jonathan, who seems to be having a better time than you expected. 

He'd been opposed to the thought of being out in the woods, but you managed to drag him along. And now, he looks like he's having a good time. He's actually laughing and talking with everyone, though you suppose it helps that he probably feels comfortable around everyone else. 

As you put together a s'more for yourself, Lucas chimes in with an idea. 

"We should tell scary stories," he suggests. 

It's already dark out — the perfect time to tell a few scary stories. Besides, it could be fun. The kids might end up being the most scared of the group.

"You really sure you kids can handle that" Hopper asks.

The kids nod eagerly, so the rest of you give in. 

Shockingly enough, the first person to offer up a story is Steve. And he seems rather excited, too.

You subconsciously scoot closer to Jonathan as the story starts. You're not sure which of you needs it more, but he wraps an arm around your waist almost protectively.

It's just a story, you remind yourself. There's nothing to be scared of. 

And normally, maybe you wouldn't be so scared. But Steve is oddly good at storytelling, and he has everyone hooked. He's good enough that you get a weird feeling you're being watched. Rationally, you know that's not true and you're just scaring yourself. But that doesn't ease your mind at all. 

Steve really has a way of making you paranoid with a simple story. "And those kids were never heard from again," he finishes.

Somehow, you end up much closer to Jonathan than you remember being. Not that you mind, but it was embarrassing being so freaked out over nothing.

The kids look just as freaked out and are clinging to each other, which looks a little awkward with all of them. They seem to make it work, though.

Thankfully, Joyce senses that maybe Steve was a little too good at storytelling. 

"Alright, time for bed," she says, standing up. 

"Wait, but that was only one story?" Dustin exclaimed. "Can't we hear another one."

"Not if you're going to sleep any time soon," Joyce insists. "It's late anyways."

They all groan and get up, heading off to their tent, whispering between themselves. 

Jonathan turns to you. "We should probably get some sleep, too."

You're not sure how well you'll sleep after that, but you know he's right. You are a little tired, and you'll probably feel a lot better once you're sleeping next to him.

Both of you stand and say goodnight before heading to your shared tent. Just as you predict, you're already growing sleepy as you cuddle close to Jonathan for warmth.

You're not sure how long you've been asleep, but at some point in the night, you wake up to Lucas peeking his head into the tent.

"Y/N? Jonathan?"

He sounds scared, his voice shaking a little, which brings you out of your sleepy state much quicker. He must have had a nightmare or something.

"Lucas? What is it?" You sit up, rubbing your eyes, and give him a look of concern.

"I can't find Mike," he said. Immediately, an alarm goes off in your head, and you step out of your sleeping bag.

"What do you mean you can't find him?"  

“I woke up and he wasn’t in the tent.”

You search for some rational explanation. Like, maybe he got up to go to the bathroom. Or maybe he got scared and didn’t want to wake any of them.

“Did you check to see if he was with Nancy?” you ask. 

“Yeah, and he’s not there either.”

By now, your anxiety is through the roof. What if he wandered off on his own? Or worse, what if he’d been taken. You know that’s not the most rational thought you’ve had, but it was a possibility, so you don’t abandon the thought.

You turn back to see that Jonathan is still sleeping. And you know he can be a worrier, so you leave him be in the hopes you can figure this out without alarming as many people as possible.

You turn back to Lucas. “Do the other kids know?”

“Just Will and Max,” he says. 

“Okay. We’ll get them and search together.”

He nods and runs back out of the tent to grab the other two. Sighing, you follow after him and gather them together. Of course, you grab a flashlight and set some ground rules. You don’t need to lose any more kids than you already have. 

“Everyone is to stick together, and if you see or hear anything, you tell me.”

They all nod, and you take that as your cue to start searching. You’re sure Mike couldn’t have gotten far, if he even wandered this way. Every few steps, you call out for him, hoping for a response, but you never hear one. That worries you even more.

“Mike?” you call out, scanning everywhere with the flashlight. “Mike, where are you?” Again, no response. 

Just as you're about to suggest looking in a different area, something jumps out at you, and you scream. It’s not terribly loud, but enough that it scared Will and Max. Lucas was the first to come to your aid, but he stops when he hears laughing. 

You aim the flashlight in front of you, where Mike is on the floor rolling with laughter. 

“Mike! That’s not funny, we really thought something happened to you!” Your heart is beating rapidly, and you almost want to throttle the kid for scaring you.

“I’m sorry, but —” He trails off momentarily as he bursts into fits of laughter again. “You should have seen your face!”

Your anger dissipates into slight annoyance. “That was the worst joke ever, dude.”

Mike finally gets up, wiping the tears from his eyes. “But it was totally worth it.”

Obviously, you beg to differ. He almost gave you a heart attack! 

“Well, you’re lucky you didn’t actually get lost out here. What the hell were you thinking?”

You don’t have much time to go into exasperated adult mode. Will is tapping you frantically on the shoulder, and you have to bring your rant to a halt.

“Um, Y/N? I think we are lost,” he says.

Taking the flashlight out again, you shine it and find that you have no clue where you guys are. None of you were keeping track of which way you came from.

“Fuck.” You sigh and try to keep everyone calm. “Okay, it can’t be too hard to find our way back, right?” As far as you’re aware, you weren’t too deep into the woods. 

“Maybe we left some footprints or something,” Lucas says. 

It’s not the most reliable method, but you appreciate him trying to help and give it a go anyways. Even with the light, you can’t make out much, so that doesn’t work out. And all of the trees look the same.

“Didn’t we walk past the river at some point?” Max asks. You vaguely remember hearing the water on your search, so she must be right.

“I think so.” It’s the best you have right now, so you try to find the river again, hoping one of you can navigate from there.

With your luck, Max is able to lead the rest of you back from there. You’re not totally sure how she even did it, but you were thankful and unwilling to question it right now.

The moment you spot the campsite again, you sigh in relief. It’s short lived, though, when you see everyone is up. Steve points you out as you guys finally join them again.

“Where the hell were you guys?” he exclaims. “We thought something happened.”

“Mike went into the woods by himself to scare us,” Max explained.

“By yourselves?” Jonathan chimes in. He looks exasperated, maybe even a bit angry, and it’s especially aimed at you.

“Well, we thought we could find him,” you insist. And you did, so you don’t get why he’s so mad.

Hopper diffuses the situation the best he can, not wanting everyone to start yelling at each other. “Alright, everyone get back to bed. We’ll talk about this in the morning.” He seems even less happy, but you’re relieved he’s willing to let it go for the night.

Even as you head back to the tent, you can feel the tension between you and Jonathan. “What were you thinking?” he asks as soon as you’re alone again. 

“I was thinking Mike was lost and someone had to find him.”

“So you didn’t get help?”

You plop down on top of your sleeping bag, crossing your arms. “Yeah, because I didn’t want everyone to freak out. Like you’re doing right now.”

The more you think about it, the more you realize his concern is understandable. You would have reacted the same way if the situation had been flipped.

“I’m sorry, okay? We made it back fine, though.”

Jonathan sighs and sits next to you, taking your hands. “I’m sorry, too. I just...I got so scared when I woke up and you were gone.”

He’s not crying, but you can tell he might be close. Your heart breaks as the reality of the situation settled in. He’d only been worried for your safety, and the kids, too. 

“Hey, I’m okay, Jon.” You pull him close and try to reassure him. “I’m sorry I scared you.” 

You hear a muffled sniffle and pull away long enough to give him a quick kiss. 

He gives a faint smile and kisses your forehead. “Just don’t do that again, okay?”

You nod, and he pulls you back into his arms as you guys try to settle down again. Jonathan is a lot more calm now, but he holds you close and doesn’t go to sleep until you have. You feel safe in his arms. All you want now is to sleep and enjoy being close to him. At least until tomorrow, when you’re bound to get a lecture from Hopper.

//

Taglist: @charmedtenderness​ @jxnehxpper​ @musicalytrashpanda​

[xxbakacoconutxx]

So here’s a nice little interview with Tobias where he talks about Copia, changing characters, the three times Papa III fell, a common nightmare, horror movies with his kids and horror movies in general. The volume is pretty low, so I’ve typed everything out below the read more!

Nudge: This is Nudge on the bus here with Tobias Forge. It is an honor to be here, sir. Thank you for creating an entire universe with your music.

Tobias: Thank you for enjoying it. [laughs]

Nudge: I’ve enjoyed it from the very start. Now, I wanna start out in the – Cardinal Copia… Your backstory with him, he won the most employee of the month awards from Papa Nihil. What kind of crazy stuff did he have to do for that?

Tobias: Uhhm…. For my well-being, I’m actually quite happy that I don’t know.

[Someone in the background laughs]

Tobias: I don’t want to think about whatever chores there are within the ministry that adds up to employee of the month. I don’t know exactly.

Nudge: You don’t know? But that’s alright.

[Someone in the background says “but I’m sure it’s hard work”]

Nudge: Speaking of hard, when you transition to another singer with Ghost, is it hard to say goodbye to that particular character? That front man?

Tobias: Uhm… I usually feel a bit ambivalent about that segment of… you know it’s always enthusias- like I’m always enthusiastic about making a new record, and also very very pumped about having a new release as much as any artist, I guess, and from a creative point of view, it’s always refreshing. And it’s exciting, but that bit is definitely putting a limiter on that excitement, unfortunately. But I’ve learned over the years, of doing it a couple times, that it’s just part of the program and uh….yeah. [laughs]

Nudge: Now Cardinal Copia is sticking around for a second album. At one point, he was called an imposter. Do you still feel he’s an imposter, or has he proved himself?

Tobias: I think he’s fine, I mean I think he’s cool. I would love- like also from the previous questions asked- to do it that way. [laughs] Because then that means you don’t have to change that much. But still, it’s like, also like reconfiguring the look of the band is also like a…it’s a hard thing to um… Imagine if your … it’s almost to the point where - if you’ve had a long, big beard and long hair for a long time and all of a sudden you shave everything off, it takes time to sort of like adjust to that because you have, you know, this picture in your head of what you’re doing and… but throughout all these years of doing Ghost it is a sort of a schizophrenic experience just because you are so distant. Me, personally, my own vision of myself does not correlate with what I see on a picture of us playing last night. It’s like this completely different being. So, adding to that is like when you’ve done the first few shows of a tour cycle and with a new costume and with the new look of the band it always feels a little bit like “ok, so this is what we are now?” [laughs] You know, it’s always a little strange.

Nudge: With new costumes, it’s been rumored that Cardinal Copia is still working hard at becoming a Papa. Are you excited for that movement? And getting promoted?

Tobias: Um, potentially yeah. Yeah, yeah I’m very curious to see where we’re going as well.

Nudge: what does he have to do to get promoted?

Tobias: [in a funny voice] oh, meters and meters of – [regular voice] no! [laughs] Uh, I dunno. Hard work and… that’s what it is. Hard work, and don’t fuck up.

[Someone laughs in the background]

Nudge: Has he fucked up in your opinion? On these last legs of the tour?

Tobias: No, I mean, I mean even compared to his brother in the past… uhm, no his brother- that was the previous guy… uh [laughs nervously] compared to the previous dudes, Cardi has not - so far - fallen off stage, which is a good thing.

[Someone is the background says “Oh I remember that video. Did that hurt?”]

Tobias: I-I wouldn’t know!

Nudge: He didn’t complain?

Tobias: He felt - like, Papa III fell three times. Three times was… like- hard. Like I remember there was one time at a festival in LA and that wasn’t very- it wasn’t involved with pain, but it was one of those where the air almost like [makes a coughing/wheezing noise]. And uh, the one on the Iron Maiden show where he fell into a hole on stage- or technically it was in between the two sort of thrusts – that could have ended very badly. Because it was a jack in the leg and would have been a jack in the back of the head hadn’t it been for the extra padding. So that could’ve ended very, very badly. And what else was it…?

Nudge: It was impressive that he went on and didn’t miss a beat after he got back up.

Tobias: Right, well we were lucky because we were doing it in between Mummy Dust and Monstrance Clock so there was the speech thing in between and had it been like just a dry start into the next song it would have been probably not doable. I had sit down and I was sitting on the edge of the stage just like “my god”, just feeling - like touching my leg and it was all numb and I could feel that it was all messed up underneath and it was bloody, and… and um, you know when you injure yourself sometimes you feel so nauseous? [Person in background says “yeah”] You’re about to- you know I was almost hurling like [makes pained noise] and you feel all shook up.

And the third time was in Leeds, of all places. We have these ego risers, which is basically just a box on stage - on the edge of the stage - with a little bit of grating on and then underneath you have like pyro and things that sort of- lights and stuff. But you can jump up on it, and we do that all the time, and this was a night like any other so we do that little bounce and you land with two feet on that box. But one foot was outside the box, so I just went like, almost head first down into the pit. And I sort of landed on all fours, sort of like a cat like [makes a “kch” sound] but I sort of hit my head on the mojo fence. Because you know, the barrier has like one um, sort like leg that it’s resting... um what do you call it… angular to sort of support the crowd. So, landing on all fours like that, but then hit my head right on the, on that little leg there.

Nudge: Speaking of horror stories, is there any mask horror stories? I find it impressive that performers wear a mask and go through all that. Is there one where it almost fell off or you lost it?

Tobias: oh, I thought you said whores- [laughs] no, no. Um, horror stories… well, I mean the most terrifying things that I usually dream about, which is a nightmare – which I know several others in the band also have, and I think it comes sort of with the fact that, I think most entertainers that are due to stand on stage at a certain time and prepare to do something dream this, it’s like – every now and then I dream that we’re sort of circling up before the show and we’re like “alright, go!” and everybody runs up to their positions and then you notice that you’re standing there in your civil clothing like “…no!” [laughs] uhm, but other than that, like…. Yeah, sneezing in it is not very cool.

[Someone in the background laughs]

Tobias: I’ve done that a couple times.

Nudge: [laughs] It’s trapped in it

Tobias: Yeah, yeah.

Nudge: Let’s go to the family side of you. You don’t get a lot of time at home, so I’d like to know: when you’re home what kind of family fun activities do you enjoy?

Tobias: One thing that I enjoy now which I’ve been waiting for, for years- I’ve always been, I mean, I come from a very liberal home, we’ve always been very… you know, my mom was very…allowing? And I had an older brother so I saw a lot of things that I maybe shouldn’t have seen. And many, many, many nights… mom sleeping on the couch and I’m seeing late night films with her sort of just sleeping next to me. And that could’ve been anything, like Scarface, Alien, you name it. Like all those things, when I was like 5, 6, 7, 8, 9. Um, Shining. So my relationship to a lot of these films are very, very- I connect it with my childhood, like I connect it with so many nostalgic things… And I guess I was a little quick sometimes with my kids, like “Yeah, Temple of Doom, sure” like, and it-

[Someone in the background says “yeah, see a heart get ripped out!”]

Tobias: Yeah, and basically that scene was just like… caused like, a negative effect and like… “What’s…? This is like a matinee Lucas/Spielberg film…?”

[Someone in the background says “Rated PG!”]

Tobias: Yeah, yeah, like, totally fine! But now they’re 10 and my son has been - started to show real interest in horror films. He’s like really into Chucky and Child’s Play and you know, he wants to see Friday the 13th and like, “I’m game!”

[Someone in the background says “Oh yeah!”]

Nudge: you have to take him to see the new Child’s Play movie that’s coming out.

Tobias: Yeah that’s the one that we haven’t seen.

[Someone in the background “It’s coming out in a few months I think. There’s a new trailer for it.”]

Tobias: Yeah, I hope it’s as humoristic as the other ones. But most films that’re being remade, they have a tendency to completely not be charming anymore and they’re just like filled with jump-scares and it’s just horrible from first to last second. And that’s not really cool. I mean, all the horror films that I love are sort of very well balanced where there are segments of just transportation. So they’re just, you know there’s just better pacing in the old film.

Nudge: Alright, final question: what is your favorite horror film? Or a couple?

Tobias: My favorite ones… if I’m just going for like, for pure quality, it’s definitely the big cinematic releases like Jaws, Silence of the Lambs, Shining, Omen, The Exorcist, like the real films done by directors who don’t normally do horror films because that tends to get better that way. But on the other hand, I’m a big fan - from an entertainment point of view - of the more specialized like, genre directors. But those films have a lot of other qualities. It’s not techn- they’re not necessarily like, the best films.

[Someone in the background says “Mmhmm, like B movies”]

Tobias: Right! Yeah, yeah, yeah. That I really enjoy. Um, but yeah I mean I like a lot of the Italian like- old- like Fulci, like stuff like that. And not throwing him under the bus in any way, I think a lot of his films are fantastic, but they do not compare to Kubrick. It’s like a completely different level. So I sort of differentiate between like, here you have the “A grade”, big cinematic, fuckin box office success films, and then you have all of the cult films. They’re sort of two different things. And a lot of the things I grew up watching as well, that I have like a very fond memory of seeing, that I used to obsess about when I was a kid as well, like Friday the 13th and Texas Chainsaw Massacre is obviously – obviously that’s, even though it’s not a huge budget film, that is obviously very good. I think Terror - we say Terror in Sweden because it’s called Terror on Elm Street - but Nightmare on Elm Street, the whole Freddie series – especially the first four… three…. four films - I’d say is really cool. Every time I’m in LA I always swing by that, the house that’s on Genesee Street just because it’s like “there it is!”

[Someone in the background chuckles]

Nudge: Well I appreciate the time, man. Thank you so much for what you do. I appreciate it, and have a good show tonight.

[solbabies]

Im a hoe for the classics and by classics i mean popular x nerd trope,, so how about an Elu au with popular!Eliott and Nerd!Lucas 😎

Voila! Here is a great classic trope! Thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy it! 

Find more of my Elu work on AO3 as @Book_Lover2001

_______________________

It was all because of a pen. A BiC to be exact; a round stic, blue ink, fine point, 0.8mm pen. Not quite technically a butterfly, but all the same in the matter of science.

The test was going to be easy. Multiple choice and long answer-- show your work, of course-- and Lucas had studied all weekend. He was on his way to acing the biology unit test. As Mrs. Rigaux began to unpack the stack of papers, Lucas reached for his backpack’s front pocket to find an empty space where his lucky pen was only moments before. Panic began to mildly set in. He just had it last class.

“Imane,” Lucas whispered to his seat partner who held a stoic, yet slightly nervous look. “Do you have a pen?” She rolled her eyes at him with the air of a disappointed mother, before searching through her own bag and retrieving what he had asked for.

“Are you coming to the meeting tonight?” she asked him quietly, as she handed him the pen. He tilted his head, unsure of what she was talking about.

“What meeting?”

“The meeting for the foyer?” she said as if obvious, before signing heavily. “The one that Daphné told you about? The student commons that we’re refixing? Dude, you’re honestly helpless. Sometimes I wonder if you’re actually smart.”

“Hey,” he defended, but didn’t take it to heart. She was always like this. “I’m smart.”

“Then where’s your pen?” she countered with a mocking smile. Mrs. Rigaux began to pass out the sheets of paper, weaving around the class as it started to fall silent.

“I swear, girl, I had one. I must have left it in my last class or something.” A paper was placed forcefully in front of him as they were shushed by their teacher.

“Do I need to separate you two?” she tisked as she handed Imane her sheet. “No more talking.”

When the end of the day came around, Lucas had already forgotten about his missing pen, although at the time of its disappearance he had been contemplating putting up ‘missing person’ signs.

“Lucas,” his name was spoken with a smooth tone as he opened his locker. Lucas was clutching his books to his chest as he pulled it’s door open, effectively hiding the person from his sight.

“Eliott,” he returned in a similar voice.

“Are we still on for tomorrow?” he asked as if Lucas hadn’t just rudely shielded his face from him.

“And what are we doing tomorrow?” he replied, as he attempted to fit all his papers inside the small space. Eliott had moved around to stand at Lucas’ other side, his back resting against the neighbouring lockers.

“You promised to teach me chemistry,” the older boy said with a smile pulling at his lips.

“Eliott, you are an L student,” Lucas brushed him off, shutting his locker in the process.

“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to learn science, and you are a really, really good S student-- the best I heard.” Lucas didn’t know whether he wanted to punch him or blush; maybe both.

“I think you’re confusing me with Imane, but I will gladly set you two up for a study date if you’d like?” Lucas told him, beginning to walk away. Eliott followed like a puppy chasing after it’s owner.

“Come on, Lucas. I know you tutor other people, why not me?”

“Those kids are actual ‘S’ students, taking ‘S’ courses, plus I have better things to be doing than humouring you for an afternoon. Don’t you have a party to plan or something?”

“I’m offended, my love, horribly offended…Unless you want a party, then I’ll throw you a rager-- in your honour of course.”

“I don’t ‘party’ Eliott,” he responded, shifting his backpack from one shoulder to the next. Lucas didn’t like parties, or large crowds at all. He didn’t like being looked at in the halls, or being passively judged by the countless people in Eliott’s circle of friends. Lucas preferred to stay at home with his books or his video games, watching random videos online until three in the morning. 

The hallway was beginning to clear itself out the further they walked into the school.

“Sticking around?” Eliott noted the direction they were moving in. Lucas looked at him from his peripheral vision. Sure, Eliott was objectively hot, but objectively a lot of people were.

“Hey, man!” Someone greeted Eliott as they passed a group of first years. Eliott nodded at them but didn’t break away from Lucas.

“I’m going to that foyer meeting for my friends. Feel free to leave.”

“Sounds like fun, I’m in,” Eliott shrugged. Lucas stopped walking, turning to look at him carefully, watching him with curious eyes.

“Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” Eliott asked, tilting his head, his hands stuffed in his pockets.

“You’re going to come to the foyer meeting… voluntarily?”

“You’re going.”

“Yeah, but--”

“So I’m going.”

________

“I hate him,” Lucas told Yann as he flopped down on his best friend’s sofa. Basile and Arthur were stretched out on the floor, arguing amongst themselves about the Fifa game they were struggling to win.

“Why?” Yann asked, leaning back against the arm rest. Lucas blinked at him, his jaw clenched as he tried to verbalize his feelings.

“I… I don’t know! He’s just so… so…”

“Hot?” Arthur offered, not taking his eyes off the screen. Lucas nudged him with his foot, earning a noise of annoyance from the taller boy.

“Persistent,” Lucas concluded. “He won’t give up.”

“But… you like him?” Basile asked, curiously.

“Of course I don’t like him.”

“But he’s hot?” Basile questioned.

“I guess, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to date him.”

“But he’s also a nice guy,” Yann added, unhelpfully. “Always helpful, cheerful, popular-- everyone likes him.”

“Except me, apparently. Why do I have to like him? He walks around like the god of the school, just expecting me to… I don’t know, fall to his feet like everyone else? He’s always coming up with stupid excuses to see me, or talk to me. Every corner I take, I’m surprised when I don’t find him following me. He’s always listening to me, even when I’m purposefully talking absolute nonsense to bore him. He came to a foyer meeting today because I was going and then he volunteered to paint the mural for the common room because I mentioned how ugly it was and--” Lucas cut himself off, letting his brain catch up to his mouth.

“And what?” Yann asked, hanging on his last word.

“And I thought it was really nice,” Lucas spoke with a softer tone, surprising even himself. “I guess sometimes I get disappointed when he’s not at my locker waiting for me at the end of the day… like that one time he was sick and I was a bit worried something happened to him. Sometimes he leaves me these little drawings when he’s got football practice and can’t make it. I…” The boys were all staring at him as the realization dawned on him. “Do I like Eliott?”

________

Eliott was talking to some girls, a horde of girls actually. They were all smiling and giggling at something that he said, but he looked completely unphased by their reactions. His smile seemed more focused on what he was talking about, rather than who was listening.

“Ugh,” Alexia said, as Lucas and the Crew walked out of the common room. “He’s so hot. I can’t.”

“Aren’t you dating someone?” Lucas noted, watching the scene unfolding in front of him with an uncomfortable feeling in his stomach.

“So?” she replied, waving off his observation. The girls all laughed taking off down the hall with a chorus of ‘goodbyes’ to Lucas. Instead of heading to his next class, which would start soon as the lunch hour came closer to ending, he stood frozen like an idiot watching Eliott talk. The way his smile pinched the corners of his eyes the more he droned on about whatever was so fascinating. The way his hands moved as he explained something to the girls who so obviously didn’t care about anything other than staring at his angular face and model-esque physique. The way that Lucas knew, even without seeing, that Eliott’s eyes were probably shimmering as he laughed at his own joke. None of it settled right with Lucas.

Before he could register what he was doing, Lucas was marching across the hall with purposeful strides. Without a word, Lucas yanked Eliott into the nearby empty classroom, ignoring the confused and slightly shocked faces of the girls.

“Lucas!” Eliott spoke with a stern voice, completely caught off guard by the sudden and very unexpected action. Lucas had his arms crossed, his foot tapping against the ground as he glared at the popular boy with narrowed eyes.

“I don’t know how you did it,” Lucas said, his voice low. Eliott’s face twitched, unsure of what was happening. There was a pause.

“Did what?”

“Make me like you.” Eliott drew back his head at the answer, his mouth curving into a small smile. “Don’t look so smug, I’m still trying to figure out when you altered the chemicals in my brain.”

“The chemicals in your brain?”

“Yeah, with your… pheromones! God, I hate you!” Lucas shouted.

“Well clearly you don’t,” Eliott chuckled, finding Lucas’ inner turmoil utterly entertaining. Taking a breath, Lucas realized what he had admitted and what he had abruptly done, and he was mortified with himself. His cheeks turned pink with embarrassment, his mouth opening slightly only to close.

“I…” Lucas began slowly. “I don’t know what came over me. Sorry. Can we just ignore what I just said? Great, I’m leaving.” Lucas reached for the door knob, but Eliott stopped him, his fingers curled around Lucas’ wrist.

“Wait,” he started. “You can’t just leave.”

“Why not? I said stupid things and now I’m going to leave so we can pretend it never happened.”

“So, you don’t like me then?” The question hung in the air and it was as if his words were suffocating him.

“No.”

“No, as in you don’t like me, or no, as in you do like me?” Lucas raked his teeth across his bottom lip as Eliott waited for his answer. His hand was still holding Lucas in place, and it was as if Lucas’ entire body was on fire.

“The… latter.” Eliott’s eyes softened, his touch dropping from Lucas as he brought his arm back down to his side.

“What changed?” Lucas ran his own hand soothingly up and down his arm, as if trying to comfort himself in this moment of honesty.

“I don’t think anything did,” he finally said. “I think I just lost my pen.”

“The butterfly effect?” Lucas raised his brow, as Eliott gave a soft laugh. “I listen to you when you talk, you know. You mentioned it once because it was in a book you were reading.” All Lucas could do was look at him. He didn’t understand Eliott, or why he does the things he does, or why he acts the way he acts. Lucas was barely processing the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to him.

“Kiss me,” Lucas blurted out against his own better judgement. Something passed before Eliott’s eyes, as his smile grew into a genuine expression that made Lucas’ heart ache. Eliott stepped forward, drawing Lucas closer to him by his waist. Their lips were so close Lucas could feel the static between them.

“You can change your mind.” But Lucas didn’t want to. Rather, he tipped his head up, closing the space between them, wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck to hold him even closer. It felt as if something clicked in Lucas; like a lock turning open with the right key, or the last piece being fitted into a puzzle. Eliott felt like something he had been missing, and finally the last code of his cipher has been discovered.

By the time the bell rang, they were breathless and reluctant to pull away.

“I have to get to biology,” Lucas sighed, running his fingers through Eliott’s hair.

“I have to go to philosophy.” They both made a face.

“I’ll see you at my locker?”

“Now that I’ve seduced you, I don’t need to stay an extra hour to wait for you,” Eliott teased playfully. Lucas, who had begun to move for the door, paused.

“You waited an extra hour for me?

“My day ends earlier than yours,” Eliott replied with a shrug, as he draped his arm over Lucas’ shoulders to walk into the hall.

“But--”

“Don’t feel bad, I didn’t mind waiting,” Eliott said, dropping a kiss on the top of Lucas’ hair. “Plus, it actually forced me to do my homework when I was bored.”

“Why are you so…”

“Perfect? Handsome? Amazing?” Lucas was going to say stupid. Stupid for wasting his time on Lucas.

“Sure,” Lucas gave in. “All of the above.” As Eliott tucked him closely into his side as he walked him to his biology class, Lucas could already feel the eyes on him making his entire body tense.

“They’re all jealous,” Eliott whispered in his ear as they rounded a corner. “That they never had a chance.”

“Never?” Lucas highly doubted that.

“Never ever. You’re all I’ve ever seen, since the first day I transferred here.”

“No pressure or anything,” Lucas muttered lightly. Eliott’s laugh rang in Lucas’ ear like a song that made his heart skip a beat.

“Absolutely none, my love. Absolutely none.”

[chappedandfadedvds]

Oct 24th, Saturday 16:23

„Come on, it was funny! Don’t be embarrassed. Well maybe a little bit.“ Moyo teased and jumped out of Robbe’s way, as he tried to punch the shoulder of the laughing teen. It would have been only a very light smack, nothing meant to actually hurt, as he saw his best friend shaking his head smiling, after he only hit air. A certain hint of sincerity though had swung in its intent.

„I personally think it was very endearing when perfect boy Sander postet an apology this afternoon, calling your snoring very quiet and cute.“

„I’m going to kill you!“ Robbe yelled, after Moyo, who was quick to grab Jens’s board to escape their circle, skating down the path by the water. For a Saturday afternoon it wasn’t as busy as expected, giving Moyo enough space to wind through the groups of people enjoying the view hours of sunshine. Jens tried to pet Robbe’s head, who swiftly ducked out under his fingers in time , fixing his hair, and pulling a face.

Jens kind of had to agree with Sander, having had shared a bed and room with Robbe over a decade for various sleepovers. So he tried his best to bite his tounge in order to keep another joke from slipping out.

A decade, huh? Jens found himself a bit surprised by that realisation. But it held true as he would turn 18 soon. They have been best friends since the first grade. How lucky were there to still stick around each other, he thought.

„Dude, I wish Amber would call my snoring cute, she usually pushes me on my side, to make it stop. You are so lucky.“ Aaron said, trying to make Robbe feel better, in the only way Aaron really could. Jens sympathised with his best friend, he probably would be embarrased too, if someone posted it into the group for everyone to see. Sander wasn’t one to keep private regarding their relationship. As long as it wasn’t really serious.

Jens definitely didn’t need to worry about it anytime soon. Since Jana and him had broken up, over a year ago, he hadn’t slept over at a girls place, leaving rather soon after, if they actually had had sex. He simply kept to one-night stands. Only two girls being exceptions to that unspoken rule. Just lasting for a couple of weeks each, thus really not worth mentioning. It always ended when they wanted more than fooling around. And that was when Jens knew that he didn’t want them at all. To add to that for almost five month now he hadn’t seen anyone, only hooking up at parties a couple of times, keeping it to that night, mostly drunk and sometimes high too. And that happened perhaps every two weeks, he realised now a little worried.

It’s not like he didn’t want a relationship, especially watching Robbe and Sander, or Zoë and Senne. He just wanted someone were it would actually work from the start. Or someone he felt was worth sticking to.

But Jens had so much other stuff going on in his life and especially his head. He lacked any motivation to put effort into a relationship. It sounded so exhausting to him to persue one. He barely had time for his friends of late. But no one seemed to notice or to mind. Robbe had Sander, and Aaron had Amber, and Moyo, well Moyo had picked up dance classes, and had his little Brother to take care of. If they had noticed, they haden’t brought up the topic with him yet. Jens was secretly very relieved of it, not knowing how to start to explain his situation. He didn’t even knew himself what exactly was going on. He would rather not think about the future too much. Not at all, if possible.

„Earth to Jens. Can you hear us?“

He looked over, not having realised that his gaze had shifted towards the water behind them. He tried to put his focus back on his friends, where Aaron waved a hand in front of his face.

„Sorry, still tired, short night.“ Jens apologised caughtoff guard, not lying, but not giving away his train of thoughts from a moment ago. He yawned to make a point and could have sworn that Robbe briefly squinted at him worried, but was smiling and clapping his back in sympathy a second later.

„Sander woke me at 10, because he was too bored after staying up all night, so I kinda get it.“

„Yeah no worries, we all saw the insta post, you did this morning, no one is holding that against you. Eight-year olds are cruel. When my cousins stay over, they wake me at seven sharp. Every. Single. Time.“ Aaron explained acknowledging as he glanced at the backpack towards Jens feet. Really inconspicuous. Jens rolled his eyes amused.

„Right! There was something. You brought some crêpes as promised, I hope? I’m so hungry.“

„Oh yes, me too!“ Robbe joined Aarons excitment and as if Moyo had listened in to their conversation, he rolled up on his board that moment.

With a dramatic sigh, to prove a point, Jens crouched down to open his backpack and pull out a big plastic box. „Here you go.“

Within seconds the container was opened and his three friends happily chewed away, while Jens checked his phone. There were a couple of group messages, as expected. Some sort of double date was arranged between Zoë and Senne, and Luca and this new guy she started dating a couple weeks back. Mats, Maxim, Mathis... He couldn’t quite remember, but something along these lines. He was sure, she would break it off soon enough. So why bother to remember his name anyway.

Just as he was about to put his phone back again, a new text popped up.

Mom 16:46 : My headache is growing. I have to lay down. Can you pick up Lotte from Olivia’s at 6? I’m so sorry..

Jens 16:47 : No worries, just finishing up with the broerrrs and the video. I’m as good as on my way. Sleep well!

[8zs]

Communication

(gif is not mine)

Pairing: Slytherin! San x (your/house)! Reader

Genre: Fake dating au, Hogwarts au, FLuff

Words: 1.935

Song: Tungs - The Frights

A/n: Thanks for requesting this bae.....san is kinda the love of my life and the amount of times i’ve dreamed about slytherin san is crazy..... ily

Choi San. Your typical Slytherin prince. 

Your parents often called him the ‘Draco Malfoy of your time’. He was a known heartbreaker, not because he played people, but because he wouldn’t open to anyone. Well, besides his slytherin friends: Seonghwa and Jongho. 

They were the most feared slytherins in school, it’s not like they were up to no good, they were up to too much good. Always telling people off and making other houses lose points.

You weren’t scared of them, after all they were just some teenage boys trying to do as they were told. You even had some classes with them. Once, you were partnered with the famous Seonghwa and he even smiled at you! Making the slytherins (and hell, even girls and boys from other houses) swoon. 

You didn’t mind Jongho and Seonghwa that much, they were nice to you. That is if you consider smiling at you once in a blue moon and not hexing you when you were being rude to a house mate nice.

The one and only slytherin prince San, though. You had never interacted with him, again, not because you were scared or intimidated by him, but simply because he flat out ignored your existence. But you knew he couldn’t be that bad, you’d seen him smiling and laughing in the halls when he was sure no one was looking.

You were a rather observant person, maybe even nosy sometimes, but you couldn’t help it. Your parents had raised you to be curious of the world and it could be wonderful! But maybe not today.

You were late to class and heard someone yelling in the hallway, so you decided to check it out. When you turned the corner, you witnessed a girl, who you recognized to be that Gryffindor girl Chaewon, throwing a box of chocolates at San. “How dare you reject me when I’ve gone out of my way to do all this for you? You’re so selfish, just like the rest of your family!” She shouted.

San looked rather awkward and defenseless, like he didn’t know what to do or say. “Shouldn’t you get to class, Chaewon?” You hissed. She jumped and turned around. “Get the hell out, (y/n). This isn’t any of your business.” You walked over to San and grabbed his hand. “It kind of is when you’re being rude to my boyfriend for rejecting your affections.”

None of you saw that coming, hell, you couldn’t even believe your own words. San quickly cleared his throat and spoke up. “Yeah, I wanted to tell you but you didn’t let me finish. So if we’re done here, I’m gonna walk my s/o to class.”

Chaewon looked at your hands, and then at the two of you. “Whatever.” And with that, she stormed away.

Once she was out of sight, you quickly let go of San’s hand. “I’m really sorry for saying and doing all that, oh my god…She’s gonna tell everyone and it’s my fault. What the hell I-“ You got cut off by a warm chuckle. “It’s fine, (y/n). She isn’t gonna tell anyone.” You just nodded, seemingly knowing Chaewon better than San did, but deciding not to say anything.

So when you and San, coincidentally, walked into the dining hall for breakfast the next day together, you didn’t expect the whole hall to go silent and stare at you two. You looked at San and quickly walked to your table.

When san arrived at his table and sat in between Seonghwa and Jongho, everyone in the hall started talking again except his table. He coughed and grabbed a croissant. 

“Dude when were you gonna tell us you and (y/n) were dating? They’re so cute, maybe even too cute for you.” Some kid named Lucas joked. San shrugged and look Lucas in the eye. “Atleast I haven’t managed to stay single my whole stay at Hogwarts.” Lucas looked down and started eating again.

“Dude, chill.” Seonghwa giggled, quite amused by the situation. “You’ve got some explaining to do, though.” Jongho said with his mouth full of food and San nodded.

When classes were over, San, Seonghwa and Jongho walked to their shared dorm room. The three guys sat down and while San grabbed his books to start looking at how much homework he had, the others kept staring at him.

 “So?” Jongho spoke up. San groaned. “It’s so dumb. That gryffindor, Chaewon I think her name was, she confessed to me. And when I rejected her she started shouting and threw something at me. So (y/n) came over and basically told Chaewon to back off and that they were my s/o already. I didn’t think it would spread around, let alone that fast.” He grabbed a pillow and laid  it over his head and groaned loudly.

“This is your chance, though.” Seonghwa said. San quickly sat up, pillow falling in his lap. “What the hell does that mean?” Jongho laughed. “Dude, we’ve seen you staring at (y/n) sometimes. Even if you don’t like them, you at least find them attractive. Be honest.”

San’s lips formed a thin line. “…Yeah…” “So! This is your chance, mate! You can pretend to date her, and maybe if stuff ends up like in the books, you can get a real s/o out of it!” Seonghwa winked at San. He just rolled his eyes. “God, you sound like a ravenclaw.”

Your friends and housemates kept bugging you. Asking you how you got San,  what was he like? Was he a good boyfriend? Are Seonghwa and Jongho still available?

You just nodded and smiled at their questions, and then immediately locked yourself in your room. You were lucky enough to have a room of your own, for some reason. You didn’t know what to do, and it was giving you a headache.

You quickly wrote something down, put it in an envelope and gave that to your owl. ”Please bring it to the slytherin boy Choi San.” You swear you even saw your owl wink at you.

As soon as San got your letter, he got dressed again and set off to the astronomy tower, where you had asked to meet him.

When he got there, you were already sitting at one of the couches there. You heard him come in and turned around. “Hey…” You whispered. He gave a small smile and sat down next to you.

“I kinda fucked up, didn’t I?” You chuckled. He sighed and shook his head. “It’s okay, (y/n). But what do we do now? I mean, we can’t come out and say it was fake…” You nodded . “Do you maybe wanna… I don’t know it may be a dumb idea… Pretend to be my boyfriend? Just for a month or two! And then we can break up, maybe even publicly, so people will know it’s over and we can continue our lives as if nothing happened?” San simply nodded.

“There have to be some rules, though. For example, no kissing. Only hand holding and hugs are allowed. “ “Yeah, sounds good.” “Anything else you wanna add?” “For now, no. And thank you for coming here, and sorry for dragging you into this.”

He gave you another smile, except one this one was warmer. You couldn’t help but smile back. “I’m going back to my dorms now. I have homework. See you tomorrow, San.” You took his hand and gave it a small squeeze. You quickly let go and walked out. San looked at the stars for a while, and then decided to walk to his dorms too.

A month and a half had passed, and the only thing you could think of is that San was gonna ‘break up’ with you soon. You didn’t want that to happen, was that wrong? 

You had grown feelings for the slytherin prince. You loved and hated it at the same time. You loved that you could just act as a couple and act all sweet and lovely like there was nothing wrong, but you hated that it was time to end it soon.

Little did you know, San felt the exact same. You two hadn’t even talked about breaking up since the day at the astronomy tower. He should talk about this with someone, he thought. The first person that came to mind was Seonghwa, he was pretty smart and good with girls, right?

So when it was time to go to the dorms, he and Seonghwa went somewhere private. “Hwa, I don’t wanna end my fake relationship with (y/n). I think I even have feelings for them.” Seonghwa snorted, he should’ve seen this coming. “And did you tell them that?” San deadpanned. “Of course not! What if they don’t feel the same and I make a fool out of myself?” “Dude, believe me, she’s into you. No girl can fake being in a relationship and act like that.” 

Seonghwa couldn’t tell San you had wen to him with the same problem, and he told you the exact same thing. “Just confess to her, I’m sure it’ll go well.” And with that he pushed San out of their shared room into the hallway that led to the common room. “God damnit.” San muttered.

How the hell were you gonna confess to San? Yes, you were in a fake relationship with him. Yes, you liked him. Yes, you were too scared to say anything about it. 

You were wearing one of his sweaters and it smelled like him, you hated this. You groaned and turned to face your window.

A few minutes passed and an owl pecked his beak on the window, startling you. You recognized that Australian black barn owl, it was San’s. You got up and let him in. It handed you a letter and then flew back away.

“Meet me at the astronomy tower, right now. –San ♡”

San was sitting on the same couch as the first time and when you came in and he didn’t notice you, you couldn’t help but admire him. The moonlight hit his face in a way that made it look like he was glowing. His eyes sparkled, the stars reflecting in them.

His deep brown eyes glowed like a dream by firelight. You felt yourself getting more infatuated by him and his mere existence.

You saw his head turn and his eyes locked with yours. Startling you a bit.

“ (y/n), hey…”

“Hey…”

You sat next to him on the couch and silence fell again. It was comfortable, though. You were both just enjoying the view of the stars.

After some time, San grabbed your hand and you turned to him. He spoke in the softest voice. “I don’t wanna fake break up with you.” 

Your eyes turned wide, and then you let out a small giggle. “I don’t wanna fake break up with you, either. I’ve grown quite fond of you, actually.”

He blushed, oh my god you made Choi San blush. He looked so sweet and innocent, you couldn’t help but reach for his cheek. He leaned into your touch and hummed. “Do you maybe wanna be my s/o? Like, for real this time?”

You gave a small nod. “I’d love that.”

You stared at each others eyes, and he leaned in. “Can I kiss you?” It was nothing more than a sweet whisper, but he dreamed to hear those words from you. He smirked. “I’m leaning in, aren’t I?”

[nothesc]

Week 7 Part IV. A Damira fic.

Here’s the last part that takes place on Saturday.

Part I here Part II here  Part III here

You can also read it on ao3

-----

SATURDAY 22:05

“Yes, I’m telling you, we were giving the gifts to the kids and one of them said ‘yeah the gifts are great but where’s the money?’” Amira tells Nora, Viri and Eva remembering what happened earlier today at the association.

“I mean, can we blame him? They’re not stupid” Eva says laughing

“They’re like little hurricanes but we love them” Dounia comments.

“I think it’s so cool what you guys do at the association” Viri says with admiration

Amira looks at Dounia, Elena and Noor and smiles, she’s very proud of the work they do at Labass.

“Amira” Nora says suddenly, pointing at something behind Amira.

She turns around and is shocked to see Kasim and Lucas entering the rooftop. Kasim never answered to her text and Amira was sure that they wouldn’t show up. She looks at Dounia to see if she knows something but she shakes her head and shrugs.

“Well, we’ll leave you alone” Nora says taking the rest of the girls with her and leaving Amira alone with Lucas and Kasim.

“Hi, I thought you wouldn’t come” Amira admits shyly

“So did I, not gonna lie” Lucas comments “But Kasim insisted and I couldn’t say no”

Amira nods and dares to look at Kasim. A wave of shame and guilt hits her.

“Kasim, I’m sorry, I’m really sorry for real. I…don’t know what to say”

“Well, that’s what the text was for, right? To apologize and explain yourself. And Amira, I’m not going to lie to you, I hated you so much when I found out you were the one that sent Dounia home but…the truth is I was shitty to you. I shouldn’t have used you or lied, I screwed up your friendship with Dounia and you didn’t deserve that, I’m sorry.

Amira nods and smiles awkwardly, knowing that Kasim forgives her calms her down but that doesn’t mean she’ll ever be proud of what she did.

“Thank you for coming” Amira looks from Kasim to Lucas and adds “both of you”

Lucas smiles and nods. Things will take a while to go back to the way it was between them but it’s a start.

Cris is late, very late, but this time is not because she wasn’t ready on time. The truth is she’s been ready for half an hour now but Joana and her are still in her room waiting for something that doesn’t seem is going to happen. Cris sighs and stands up to go, she had hope that her brother would come to Amira’s too, but he’s still in the living room with his laptop and it doesn’t look like that’s going to change.

“Come on, let’s go, we’re late” she tells Joana

The girls leave Cris’ room and go to the front door walking by the living room. Cris decides to give it one last try and stops by the sofa where Dani is.

“Hey Dani, we’re leaving for Amira’s now”

“Okay.” Dani answers, not looking up from his laptop.

Cris doesn’t move, she stands there looking at her brother waiting for a reaction. Dani can feel Cris’ stare and sighing he looks up.

“What do you want?”

“You’re really not coming?”

“Amira doesn’t want me there”

“Has she told you that?” Cris asks being fully aware of the answer for that question.

“She didn’t have to” Dani says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Cris shakes her head and turns around to leave but, being Cris, she can’t hold back the words from spilling and turns back to her brother to tell him one last thing.

“What are you waiting for? I know you haven’t given up, Dani, I’ve seen the documents in your room” Cris sees how Dani opens his mouth to say something but quickly stops him “Don’t ever bother getting mad because I was in your room, that’s not the point. The point here is that I know you want to be with Amira, I know you haven’t given up yet and I don’t understand what’s stopping you from talking to her. Wake up Dani, before it’s too late”

Not waiting for an answer Cris, with Joana behind her, turns and leaves, this time without looking back.

“Oh my god Amira I’m going to come for dinner to your house every day. Seriously, can your parents adopt me or something?” Dilan says after trying every single dish Amira’s mom has cooked. Him, Hugo and Jorge have been eating nonstop since they arrived. Alejandro is a little bit more shy but that hasn’t stopped him either from trying almost everything.

“Hey, hey, hey, chill dude, if they adopt someone it’s going to be me, I got here first” Cris says approaching the group.

Amira turns around and sees Cris and Joana arriving together. They both greet the girls, the boys and the Labass. Finally they approach Amira. Joana and Amira greet with a fist bump like they always do. Cris on the other hand doesn’t waste a second before she jumps Amira to give her a hug.

“Giiiiiiiiirl, you’re so pretty, oh my god that gold scarf, you look like a goddess.” Cris says kissing Amira’s face everywhere.

Amira laughs and pushes her off herself gently.

“Yeah, yeah, but you’re late” Amira teases her, she’s used to Cris being late by now.

“I’m sorry, but it wasn’t my fault, we were ready but we were waiting for…” Cris stops trying to look for a good explanation that isn’t the truth. She looks at Joana for help.

“We were waiting for…” Joana tries with no success.

“Anyway, we were waiting, that’s it.”

“You have to try this, it’s amazing” Viri says approaching Joana, Cris and Amira and giving the first two girls a plate. Eva, Nora, Dounia, Elena and Noor come with her.

“Hmmm my goodness, this is incredible” Joana says after trying it.

“Amira’s mom is the best cook ever” Cris confirms. Suddenly she notices two people in the other side of the roof and frowns “Lucas and Kasim are here?”

“Yes, we talked and…well it looks like everything is good” Amira explains.

“Ahhh isn’t it nice? Celebrating Eid with all the people you love by your side?” Viri says with one of her brand smiles.

Amira looks around and smiles, it’s true that she feels lucky to see her friends and family together. But, she’d be lying if she said that her happiness is full.

“Well…all the people…not all the people are here, right?” Cris says, she doesn’t mean to put salt on the wound but she’s been quiet for the whole week and it’s about time she does something.

“Cris…” Nora warns her.

“I’m sorry Ami but…it hurts me seeing you both like this” Cris tells Amira whose smile has faded already.

“But Cris, you said it yourself, we were going to overwhelm each other, we were going to fuck up. Well, we did, you were right.” Amira doesn’t understand why Cris is talking about Dani right now, she’s already having a hard time with him not being here when she’s been telling him about Eid for weeks.

“But I wasn’t right, fuck it. I wasn’t right. I was…going through a hard time and I took it all out on you. I was afraid you would hurt each other because fuck, Ami, I love you both very much. I was trying to protect you so you wouldn’t suffer. But you’re still suffering anyway.” Cris makes a pause trying to put her thoughts in order “When you were together you were happy, my brother was always in a good mood, and it was because of you, Ami. And you were the same. And now? Now you’re both so sad all the time. Can you really tell me with full honesty that you’re better now than before?”

The rest of the girls stay quiet, waiting for Amria to say something.

“But it’s a very complicated relationship, Cris”

“Of course it’s fucking complicated, all relationships are. If I had run away at the sight of the first problem with Joana we wouldn’t be together now, and I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now.” Cris looks at her girlfriend and takes her hand smiling, then she looks again at Amira “and we will have more problems, because life is a bitch, but we will face it together, because that’s what you do when you love someone”

Amira doesn’t know what to say, a part of her wants to run to Dani and tell him she wants to be with him but the other part is afraid, afraid of suffering even more than now.

“Look, Amira, I don’t want to pressure you to do something you don’t want to but…I think you do want to be with my brother, and I know he wants to be with you. I don’t know…I think you should try to work on their issue together”

Amira looks at Cris, and Joana, and Nora, and Viri, and Eva, and Noor and Elena. All of them smile at her. Finally she looks at Dounia and, like the rest of the girls, she nods and smiles.

“I…I have to go” Amira says and without thinking about it twice she turns around and leaves.

When she passes by her mother she tries to stop her.

“Amira, where are you going?”

“To fight for what it’s worth it” Amira answers while she runs.

She can’t see it because she’s already left but her mother can’t erase the proud smile from her face.

Dani looks in the mirror one last time, he looks weird but it’s a good weird, he actually likes the way he looks in what he’s wearing. Not wanting to waste anymore time he takes the keys and goes to the door and opens it. He freezes when he sees Amira in the other side of the door, ready to knock on it. Dani can’t stop staring at her, he’s not sure if it’s because he’s surprised to see her after a week of because she looks gorgeous with her gold hijab. Dani sees how Amira looks him up and down smiling and biting her lip. Dani can feel himself blushing, maybe it wasn’t a good idea to dress up like this after all.

“What…what are you doing here?” Dani finally asks.

“Well…I came to invite you to my Eid celebration but…I see you’re already ready for it.” Amira says, referring to the black Panjabi that Dani is wearing. She notices some details on his chest and gently touches them with her fingers. Then she realizes what she’s doing and takes a step back “I’m sorry, I’m sorry it’s just…it’s…golden”

“Yeah I…I bought a couple of weeks ago, when you told me you were wearing a gold hijab for Eid…I don’t know I thought I could surprise you wearing something that matches it. I know it’s silly but…”

“No” Amira interrupts him “It’s not silly. I love it and…you look great”

“And you look beautiful” Dani can’t help saying.

Now Amira is the one that can feel the heat on her cheeks and tries to avoid Dani’s eyes.

“Do you want to come in and…talk?” Dani asks hesitantly.

Amira nods and Dani takes a step to the side so she can enter and go to the living room. He follows her after closing the door.

“Ami I…” Dani starts saying but then he realizes he’s missing something. “Wait a minute”

Not waiting for an answer from Amira, Dani goes to his room and takes the documents he has on his desk. When he returns to the living room he gives them to Amira who takes them and looks at them confused.

“Articles about Islam, passages from the Quran…Dani what’s this?”

“I’ve done some research…to learn and understand everything better…to understand you better. It’s the first thing I should’ve done when we started dating, I’m sorry”

“I didn’t explain anything to you either” Amira admits.

“Teaching me is not your responsibility”

“But it would’ve been easier for you”

“Ami I…” Dani tries to find the right words to express what he’s feeling. “I want to be with you, with everything that comes with it. I know is hard and I know that I have a lot to learn but, I want to try, for real. I know that you think I’m missing out on this to be with you, or that you’re going to overwhelm me or I don’t know, but that’s not true Ami, it really isn’t. I don’t want to be with any other girl, I want to be with you because no one can give me what you give me. And I don’t care if I can’t kiss you because everything else is worth it. Being with you is not an effort, it’s a gift. And I don’t know Ami, I love you” Amira widens her eyes at Dani’s last two words, it’s the first time he’s said it. Dani notices Amira’s reaction but he doesn’t take it back, he decides to say it again “I love you, Ami”

“But, do you know what you’re getting yourself into?”

“Yes, I do now” Dani says pointing at the documents Amira still has in her hands “and I will continue learning. But I need you to trust me, stop thinking that I’ll get bored and leave. I still have a lot to learn and understand but I promise I will. I need you to trust me”

Amira doesn’t say anything at first, she’s trying to process everything. She’s still afraid, that’s for sure, but the part of her that wants to take a leap of faith and be with him is bigger than fear. She’s tired of denying herself happiness to stay in a safer place. She knows it’s going to be hard and that they’ll have to face a lot of things but, like Cris said, together it’ll be easier.

“I trust you” Amira says honestly. Then, even though her legs are shaking not only by admitting it to Dani but also to herself, she adds “And I love you too”

Cris sees them coming and leaves the conversation she was having with Hugo to approach Amira and Dani.

“So?” She asks them once she’s standing in front of them.

Dani and Amira look at each other and smile, then they look at Cris.

“Cris, I’m dating your brother” Amira says

“And I’m dating your best friend” Dani says.

Cris looks at them for a moment and her lips slowly curve up into a smile that gets bigger and bigger.

“Yasssssss!” Cris almost yells, jumping up and down and hugging them both. Once she lets them go she looks at Amira “We’re sisters in law girl, can you believe it?” not giving her time to answer she looks at her brother “And you, don’t you even think she’s going to love you more than she loves me because Amiris is the realest thing ever”

Dani and Amira laugh and shake their heads. They really like Cris’ reaction better this time.

“Anyway, I’m going to look for something to drink, do you guys want anything?” Dani says still laughing

“Yes, I’ll go with you” Amira replies.

After pouring themselves some juice Dani and Amira stand by the table talking, though they’re soon joined by Amira’s parents.

“Dani, how are you? You haven’t been to the house in a while, we haven’t seen you since you declared your love for Amira last time you were home”

Dani, who was taking a sip from his drink, almost chokes at the words.

“Baba!” Amira yells in shock, looking from her dad to her mom who can only smile.

“What? Was it a secret?” Amira’s dad asks confused.

Amira and Dani look at each other and they burst out laughing. Soon they’re joined by Amira’s mother while her father looks at them confused.

Later, Amira takes a walk around the rooftop and looks at the people there. ‘Now’ she thinks ‘all the people that I love are here now’. And she feels like the luckiest girl in the world.

[aesthyuckic]

AVENOIR | l.dh - SEPTENDECIM

(gif not mine - credit to rightful owner)

Genre: High School AU (at beginning) ; Tarot Reader!Witch!Hyuck

Word Count: 2.9K

Warnings: (bold if in use) slow but with a purpose, belief contradictions(??), mentions of r*pe, blood, swearing, violence(??), mentions of abuse

Pairings: Lee Donghyuck (Haechan) x Reader (F)

X OF WANDS: accomplishment, responsibility, burden

The next morning, it was Johnny that came by to wake her up. He could still see the tiredness left on her face from the previous day but unfortunately, the police were pestering him to be able to see her for questioning. She seemed exhausted by the end of it, even if she had fabricated it a bit it hadn’t stopped her from helplessly running the dreaded scene through her head over and over again. She sat there in the dull room with heavy eyes and her arms crossed, rather emotionless.

They thanked her for her statement as they ended the recording they took for the trail. Everyone was hoping they’d be long gone when Ten got convicted anyway, they wanted to forget it all... She didn’t understand how she wasn’t in trouble... She did stab him and while it seemed out of dense for others, she knew her pent up anger and sadness had gotten to her. The strange thing was, the guilt wasn’t really eating at her like she’d expect... She barely felt it and she couldn’t help but wonder if the darkness of the world had gotten to her or if it was somehow passed down through the family.

“I have a question,” She shot up. “Can I see Ten?”

For some reason, they said she could. Even took her to the hospital that he was still being treated at... for the wound she caused. When they opened the door to the room, he was sound asleep. They told her they’d be right outside in case anything happened and closed the door. She saw the bandages wrapped around his abdomen and the handcuffs that restrained him to the bed so he couldn’t escape. She looked at the bandages, still for some reason not feeling bad and she question why. Usually, she couldn’t help but feel that way.

She hated it so much... maybe she was a little evil after all. She stood there, an unbelievable amount of anger she had never felt before filled her. It took everything thing in her to not punch his face awake and instead to just shake him awake. He was startled as he looked around and rubbed his eyes. Once they had landed on her, they filled with fear as he tugged on the handcuffs that clint against the metal bar of the bed. To see the terror of in eyes at just the sight of her, that’s what really made her sad.

“Oh, would you stop freaking out?” She asked, annoyed. “I couldn’t do anything even if I wanna!”

“You stabbed me, you bitch!” He hissed. “You could’ve killed me!”

“And you could’ve killed Haechan!” She retorted. “What’s your next point? Also, what’s the saying? Takes one to know one?”

He huffed, giving up and throwing himself back on the bed. It was all too clear that he was pissed now.

“What are you doing here anyway?” He scoffed. “You want to ask me why I did it again? Hear it in court like everyone else.”

“Bold of you to assume I’d go to your hearing.” She snapped. “I don’t need to know why, I know you did it and that’s enough. It’s not like I’ll be here by the time it comes around anyway... I think it’s apparently that Johnny has fired you but thought I should tell you, just in case. If you already knew, oh well, salt in the wound... it will never make up for what you did to Haechan... Maybe rotting in a jail cell for years to come for to attempts of murder will though.”

“I didn’t touch you.” He gritted. “You put my gun to your head.”

“You kept it there. You could’ve so easily pulled the trigger like you had done only a few minutes before, too. I wouldn’t have actually lived through it if you did and that’s how everyone sees it.”

“You stabbed me!”

“Self dense.”

“That’s what it may have looked like but you know damn well it wasn’t! You were angry and sad because I hurt your stupid boyfriend!”

“I was scared of you too... You had a gun, Ten...”

“You’re twisting it all, you’re evil.”

“I may be bad, but you’re worse...”

“Am I though?”

To be the honest, the whole thing had left her silent and thinking. Was she any better than him? It was her worst nightmare to be rotten... Was it all twist? Shouldn’t she also be in custody? It was too much... She shrugged before she left the room as she continued to second guess herself and the current state of her reality.

She thanked the investigators, quietly for allowing her to see the young adult. She wondered if they were listen and if they were how much they heard. She hoped little to nothing, honestly. She sighed as she walked away, releasing the tenseness in her. With that she felt exhausted again.

Was she good anymore? After what had happened? She couldn’t stop asking herself that. All she wanted to ever be was good... Of course, there always needed to be a little bad in good...

She reminded herself of that all the way into the elevator. She was thankful Ten and Haechan were at the same hospital in that moment, considering her morning already. Even if he wasn’t awake, she looked foreword to seeing him once again. It made her feel secure just to see him... To know he was there. It had reminded her of how long it had been. In fact, it had almost been a year since they had ran away together. It shocked her to think about how they went from complete strangers to close friends that were too obvious with their feelings... So long, but so little...

The elevator doors dinged as they opened to the floor she wanted. She was surprised when the first thing she saw was a bunch of her friends standing in front of the nurse’s desk, some sitting too. They looked rather bored until they noticed her there. They all rushed over and started talking at once, only to leave her catching small bits and pieces of what they were saying. They asked how the boy was and how she was doing for the most part. Sicheng, being different, was the one apologizing on Ten’s behalf. It really was something he always had to do...

It made her smile to know she had them there for her as well as him. It was something she had never really experienced and for once, she gladly took the hugs they offered.

“Can we see him?” Hendery asked.

“He’s not awake, but yeah!” She nodded. “Not all at once, I don’t think though...”

“Fuck that.” Jeno groaned.

“It’s a harzard, dude.” Xiaojun informed.

“Um, maybe we should come back later...” Jaehyun chimed in. “I think Cosimia needs sometime alone with Haechan.”

Everyone was quiet for a moment as they looked at one another before they all miraculously agreed. The huge group started to walk toward the elevator, expect for Jaemin. He still stood there, with a blue vase full of yellow flowers that he had been holding the whole time. He handed them off to girl once everyone had walked away.

“They’re for Haechan.” The pink haired boy said. “They reminded me of his name and I think he said he liked them so, yeah. I thought it might be something nice to wake up too.”

“Thank you.” She smiled, weakly which he had returned with a smile, thumb ups, and some encouraging words for her.

She watched him run over to others to catch the next elevator. She turned her attention back to the flowers. They were sunflowers, such a bright yellow it reminded her of crayons that children used to draw the sun in the corners of their papers with. It made her smile to herself as she had remembered the nickname his mom had apparently gave to him as a child... He said Haechan had meant ‘full sun’ in Korean one of the morning they had spent on the couch. She couldn’t help but think it was fitting to him. The color yellow always suited his glow... Even smiling at the memory she had found herself crying...

She walked back to his room to set next to his bed after she had wiped her tears away. It did lighten up the dull, miserable hospital room. It made her realized how emotional drain she had been, looking at the scene in front of her. She sighed before she crawled into the same spot she was in yesterday as he hadn’t moved at all... It was just too peaceful for him and somehow the heart monitor and the warmth that radiates from his body was incredibly therapeutic to her.

She draped her arm across his waist before she looked at him. He was beautiful... but motionless in every way. She began to miss the smile that so often blessed his lips that always had her doing the same in the end. She missed his entire presence, honestly. The short time without him felt so much longer in her mind and she wondered when he’d wake up At least, she could still feel the rise and fall of his chest in his unconscious state though...

Tears were slipping again as she had recalled last night when a nurse had walked in. The girl was just playing with his hair as it was getting rather long. The nurse had said something along the lines of how lucky he was to have someone never leave his side like her and how cute of a couple they were. She hummed in respond with a nod and a quiet, small ‘thank you’ before they left the room.

She dozed off to that thought and almost everyday for a week it was like a routine for her. She’d come to the hospital every morning just to spend all of the visiting hours with Haechan, a lot of time finding herself falling asleep next to him. Then Lucas and one of the other boys would come to pick her up in the evening and she’d stay awake all night. It’d repeat everyday like that and seemed as if that’s all she know.

Somebody would have to remind her everyday to take care of herself as well. They’d make her eat as she’d just go without to stay with the sleeping boy and they’d also have to drag her back to bathe too. In fact, Lucas had to do that this morning. She had just come of the trailer with a fresh set of clothes on, her hair damp and curling up as she walked over to him, leaning against the trailer across.

“Are you ready to go back?” He asked as he stood up straight.

“Almost.” She responded. “Can you take me somewhere first?”

“Of course.” He nodded. “Just tell me where.”

They had walked over to his famous red motorcycle, Cosimia telling exactly where to go on the map before they had gotten on. She’d have to remind him exactly where to go every now and then. Soon enough they ended up on a hill with cliffs that dropped off right into a forest. It had metal bars that blocked it off. She signaled for him to pull over which he did. She was quick to hop off the motorcycle when he stopped it just to go look over the edge. She ran back over to leave her helmet on the seat before taking off down the side of the room.

“Hey!” Lucas yelled. “What are you doing?”

“Just stay there!” She yelled back. “I won’t be long!”

He sighed and rolled his eyes at her response but did as she said. She could take care of herself...

The girl eventually found a steep path were the metal broke open. She squeezed herself through the opening and climbed down the side. When she had reach the bottom, twigs started to crunch under her feet. The trees had surrounded her in a luscious green as she started to feel scared walking through the forest, a place she unfamiliar with. Though, when she saw a glimpse of silver in a clearing ahead, she realized she had found her way through just fine.

It was a car, covered in plants and fungus. She stood there and looked at from a distance. She had let her guard down some but the air was still tense as she slowly walked over. Her breath seemed to slow the closer she got. It was flipped over, the hood embedded in the earth from the years it had been there. Only some of the car remained silver... The rest was black from fire. The glass was long gone for the most part, lost in the dirt. It was all beat up.

She looked inside, at the driver’s seat and faint memories of her mother came back at the sight. It was sad to know most of them were made up from photos she looked through often even when she wasn’t suppose to. She could still see her sitting there. She didn’t expect it to be like this at all... She started to sob uncontrollably, the familiar warmth of tears streaming down her face with ease as she started to cry out to her.

“Mama...” She cried. “Please let Haechan be alright... Please, please, please...”

She begged to the presence around her that she had felt in the beginning. If there was anyone who could help, it was her mom, dead or alive. She continued to cry and beg for some time to help her, to help the only boy she had ever truly felt safe enough around before she felt drained once again. She went back the path and to Lucas. Her eyes and lips were swollen and it was all too noticeable when the boy had saw her.

“Are you okay?” He murmured.

“Yeah,” She nodded. “I just want to go back to see Haechan now.”

She put her helmet back on and everything remained silent as her friend started his bike again. She did her routine when they had arrived at the hospital. She went to go lay next to him and ended up falling asleep. Truthfully, everyone was really starting to worry about her a lot more. They were unsure if a part of her was missing or change...

In Donghyuck’s mind, something different was going on. He was surrounded by white light but nothing else was in his sight. He walked and looked around further into the emptiness of it all until he had bumped into something. Or rather someone he noticed once he turned around. He looked down to see a girl, a almost mirror image of Cosimia. She looked older though, mature in her twenties, thirties at most. Her clothes were bright, she had a darker complexion compared to his friend and her hair was black and braided off to the side.

“Cosi?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“It’s not your time...” She said, avoiding it all, her voice different too.

“What’s going on?” He asked, again with no response.

He began to here small, inaudible whispers around him that progressively got louder. Enough for him to hear that they were saying the saying the same thing she did. It became overwhelming quickly, as more joined in too. He heard a ringing start in his ears too. The light seem to engulf him as fell to the floor of his subconscious with his hands covering his ears in pain. He squeezed his eyes shut too and slowly, the ringing and whispers faded away.

He opened his eyes again, only to be in a much different setting this time. He saw the wall of the hospital room, the tubes connected to his arm and the sound of a heart monitor. He felt a deep pain in his chest when he tried to move and he looked down to see he was shirtless with a piece of gauze place in the middle of his chest. He only then remembered what had happened... He groaned, quietly to himself as he tried to sit up.

He then noticed Cosimia was right there beside him, fast asleep. It made his heart swell and him just smile seeing her cuddled up next to him like that. Though, seeing the bags under her eyes more pronounced than usual made him frown. How long was he out? He was about to wake her up to let her know he was there again... But before he could he was interrupted.

“Hey!” A lady said startling him.

He looked over to where the voice came from, expect it to be a nurse but no. Instead, he was shocked to see it was the girl he thought was Cosimia only a few moments ago when he was unconscious. They wore the exact same clothes, hairstyle, had the same voice and look exactly the same too. He looked down at the girl beside him and felt a little scared due to what was going on.

“Who are you?” He questioned.

“Her mother.”

[all-things-skam]

Jens’ season | Chapter six

Saturday, February 8th

‘’Where’s your other half?’’ Jens teased, seeing no Sander trailing behind his best friend.

Robbe shook his head and hid his smile. ‘’He’s having lunch with his mom.’’

‘’Oh, so that’s why you came here? Because loverboy had to leave your side?’’

‘’That’s not-’’

‘’I’m kidding,’’ Jens said, grinning. He grabbed a controller from the desk and nodded at the television. ‘’Wanna game?’’

Robbe nodded and grabbed the second controller while Jens set up the console.

Jens knew there was a reason behind Robbe’s impromptu Saturday visit, but Robbe didn't seem to know how to bring up the subject.

After sitting in silence, for what felt like forever, with nothing but the beeps from the game, Robbe finally spoke. ‘’Sorry about last night, again,’’ he apologized, blush covering his cheeks and ears. ‘’I...didn’t mean to-’’

Jens shook his head. ‘’It’s okay, Robbe.’’

‘’Wanna talk about it?’’

‘’What is there to talk about?’’

‘’Why didn’t you tell me? About Lucas.’’

‘’Why do I have to tell? It’s not anyone’s business.’’

‘’Coming out of the closet is a part of the journey, Jens.’’

‘’I’m not in a closet. I-I’m not ashamed of who I am.’’

Robbe recoiled just a bit at the comment and Jens instantly regretted it. Shit. He didn’t mean to dig at Robbe. It was the last thing he wanted, knowing how difficult Robbe’s self acceptance had been.

He just meant that his situation wasn’t the same as Robbe’s - they couldn't compare. Everyone's experience is different, not everyone reacts to their sexual awakening the same. For some, realizing that their sexuality might differ from the society's common basket was hard to accept.

Jens paused, trying to find his next words carefully.

How to explain his situation to his best friend without diminishing his own experience?

‘’To me, it doesn’t matter who I’m attracted to. If it’s a girl that catches my eyes, then it’s a girl and, until recently, if it’s a boy, it’s a boy. Simple as that.’’

Robbe frowned. ‘’So...you still like girls?’’

‘’Yes.’’

‘’You’re bisexual, then?’’

Jens thought for a minute. Labels were tacky and invasive - he didn't like them. One's sexual preferences was nobody's business but theirs. But, if he really had to chose one, bisexual would be the most accurate.

‘’Yeah. I guess that’s what I am.’’

“How long have you known? That you also liked guys, I mean.”

“Ever since you told me that you liked Sander and not me.”

The controller hit the floor and Robbes mouth dropped open. Jens burst out laughing.

“Dude, I’m joking. It’s really been since I saw Lucas on the first day of school after break. I wouldn’t say it was love at first sight, but he was certainly easy on the eyes.”

The memory of Lucas walking in the courtyard came rushing back, hands in his pockets, curly fringe shadowing over his forehead, golden from the sun shining on them. His sharp jawbone and bright eyes had caught Jens' attention immediately.

“So, have you guys been together long?”

Jens glared at Robbe with a slight annoyance. “What is this? 20 questions?”

“You did the same to me once you found out about Sander, so this is just payback,” the brunet defended. ‘’And, can’t I be interested in my best friend's love life? I don’t want you to leave me in the unknown like I did.’’

Jens let out a sigh, admitting his past doing. Maybe he could answer some of Robbe’s question - just to satisfy his curiosity.

“It’s only been since Amber’s birthday party.”

“Jens, that was like almost a month ago.”

The raven haired boy shrugged. He didn't mean to let Robbe in the dark about Lucas. At least, not forever. But, sometimes, it's nice to keep your little happinesses to yourself.

‘’So,’’ Robbe started, a mischievous smile curling on his lips. ‘’Is Lucas your boyfriend?’’

Jens shrugged, honestly. He hadn’t thought about that yet. ‘’I don’t know… We haven’t talked about it yet.’’

“Well you might want to have that conversation soon since Valentine's Day is Friday, and you will need to know if you and your boyfriend are doing anything special,” Robbe teased.

With everything else going on, Jens had completely forgotten about Valentine's Day. It hadn’t been a problem in the past. Jana always made sure to remind him that it was coming, but now that he was single, Valentine’s Day wasn’t something Jens had to think about.

Groaning, Jens fell back on his bed. “Shit, what am I going to do now?”

Robbe shrugged. ‘’I don’t know, but, next time, lock the door.’’

Jens laughed. ‘’Will do.’’

.

Sunday, February 9th

The rain pouring outside had caused the cancellation of all the parties, obligating the teenagers to stay home and find other activities to occupy their Saturday night. Robbe and Aaron quickly made plans with their respective lovers, leaving Moyo and Jens to play Fortnite from each other’s room.

Despite being Saturday night, Jens had planned to go to bed soon. His beauty sleep had taken a toll lately because of his parents’ late night fights and he could feel himself falling asleep during the game.

He was about to tell Moyo he was off to bed when he heard commotion from downstairs, followed by slurred grumblings.

Oh no...

Jens sighed and checked the time on his phone: 1am. His dad must’ve come back from wherever he was and, guessing by the noises downstairs, it must’ve been the bar - or anywhere he could get alcohol.

Lucky for him, Lotte and Fenna weren’t home to see this. Jens’ mom had been clear about no more coming home drunk. Jens could cover for his dad, put him to bed and act like nothing happened in the morning, but he didn’t want to. Not tonight.

Jens: I know it’s late...but can I crash at your place? My dad came home drunk and I don’t want to deal with it tonight

Minutes passed and there was no response from Lucas. Jens was getting worried he’d have to stay here and that Lucas was asleep, but it was the weekend. No one goes to bed early on Saturday night, right? Well, Sunday, now.

Lucas: Always ❤

After getting Lucas’ response, Jens put on his shoes and rain jacket and slipped out of the house, walking to where he remembered Lucas’ house was.

He felt shitty for letting his mom deal with the casualties in the morning when she’d get back from her night shift, but Jens needed a break. And a good night of sleep without any interruptions. If he stayed home, he’d have to take care of his drunk father and he wouldn’t be able to catch up on sleep.

The lights were all off on Lucas’s street, everyone most likely asleep at this hour. Jens knocked on the door and waited for the Dutch boy to answer and open.

A sleepy Lucas opened the door, hair matted from sleeping on one side. He was wearing a white sleeping shirt, thin and worn out, bringing out the blue of his eyes.

''Sorry for coming here this late,'' Jens apologized, seeing Lucas's sleepy face. He glanced down, chewing on his bottom lip. ''I didn’t mean to wake you-’’

‘’It’s okay.’’ Lucas shrugged. '’I fell asleep on the couch watching TV, it’s nothing.’’ The brunet stepped back, making room for Jens to get inside. ‘’Come in.’’

The house was smaller than Jens’ and had a lot less furniture. Most of which had probably been left in Utrecht, at Lucas’ mom’s house. They passed by the living room and Lucas turned off the television, the cartoons still playing turning black. He led Jens to his room and closed the door.

A small lamp on Lucas’ nightstand lit the place dimly, enough for Jens to make out the unpacked boxes still on the floor, left there for when Lucas will feel like putting them away - which wasn’t anytime soon. There was a couple pictures taped on the wall by Lucas’ bed, some Jens recognized from the brunet’s Instagram. Lucas’ backpack was laying on the floor, textbooks spilling out right next to his desk.

‘’Do you need anything to sleep in?’’ Lucas asked, pulling Jens from his visual exploring.

He shook his head, twisting on his heels to face Lucas, and chuckled. ‘’I don’t think anything will fit me anyway.’’

‘’Right,’’ he agreed, feeling like an idiot for asking.

Jens wasn’t bigger, but he was more built more squared than the Dutch boy - who was on the leaner side. Lucas’ tee shirts could fit him, but it would be tight around the shoulders and that wasn’t comfortable.

Standing in the middle of his own bedroom, Lucas didn’t know what to say after the personal bomb Jens had dropped on him over texts. It was the first time Jens had opened up to him, and he wanted to be supportive but he didn’t want to push him to talk either.

‘’Do you want to talk about it? Your dad.’’

Jens shook his head. ‘’Not tonight. I just want to sleep. Can we do that?’’

‘’Yeah.’’ Lucas nodded and went to the bed and sat.

He tidied the pillows and blankets, making room for the pretty boy who will spend the night with him, catching himself watching- staring as Jens peeled off his hoodie and jeans, leaving him in a tee shirt and underwear. There wasn’t anything creepy nor sexual, he just really liked looking at Jens’ body.

Jens sat on the bed beside Lucas, their legs brushing at how close they were, feeling the warmth of Lucas’ skin through his grey joggers. “Thanks for letting me come over,’’ he apologized. ‘’Again, I’m sorry if I woke you up-”

“Jens,’’ Lucas interrupted. He sighed, shaking his head. ‘’It’s okay. I told you if you needed to talk I’d be there. It’s nice to know you wanted to come here, to come to me,’’ he said, feeling like he was admitting more than what the words were saying.

“I know, it’s just... I don’t know. I’ve got a lot on my mind lately.” Jens sighed, hiding his head in his hands, elbows resting on his knees.

Hesitantly, Lucas put his head on his shoulder, kissing Jens through his tee shirt.

‘’You don’t have to keep everything to yourself, you know?’’

Jens stared off into the distance of the semi-dark room. He wanted to open up to Lucas and tell him everything that was on his mind, but he didn’t want to dump all of his problems on him and taint his only source of happiness. Jens wanted to preserve his time with Lucas, happy and appeasing as possible, a stark contrast from every other aspect of his life he didn't have control over. By dumping all his home life problems on Lucas, Jens didn’t want to risk this feeling and was afraid he wouldn’t have anywhere else to get this happiness from.

They also only met about a month ago and it wouldn’t be fair to unload everything on him. Jens had never been one to rant about his problems. He’d share situations with his friends, light troubles, but would never lay out his dirty laundry to them - not that he had anything worth telling before.

‘’Shall we get some sleep now?’’ Lucas suggested, smoothing a hand down Jens’ back, sensing he wouldn’t get any words out of him tonight. It was okay, though. He’ll talk in his own time, when he’s ready.

Jens nodded. Sleep will be good. He needed a good sleep.

Lucas slid away from Jens and turned off the lamp, crawling back and taking the spot near the wall, trying to leave room for the raven haired boy. ‘’Little warning, my bed is a bit smaller than yours.’’

Shrugging, Jens joined Lucas higher on the bed, laying his head on the grey pillowcase. ‘’I’ll just hold you tighter,’’ he responded.

Content with Jens’ response, Lucas moved closer and rubbed his cold feet against Jens’ bare calves, tangling their legs together under the comforter. Jens lifted his arm in order to make room for Lucas to snuggle in close. He breathed in the sweet scent of Lucas' shampoo, soft curls tickling his chin.

Lucas talked quietly, telling Jens about that time he slept over at Kes' for the first time and had to call him mom in the middle of the night - okay, it was 9pm - because he couldn't sleep in another bed than his own. Jens laughed at the childhood anecdote. How could he not?

He listened as Lucas continued his story, allowing himself to finally relax. Lucas' voice was soothing and calm in the dark room.

Half way through the second story, Jens felt Lucas’ body become heavy with deep sleep. He glanced down, making out Lucas' delicate features in the darkness, and smiled.

He could easily get used to this.

.

Waking up next to Lucas was...warm. It’s been a moment since Jens last shared a bed and he had forgotten how hot you get through the night. Getting sweaty during the night from cuddling and being so close to another body was the only downside to sharing a bed. Other than that, it’s just perks.

Jens' eyebrow twitched, fighting away whatever had brushed it. He felt it again, the same feather light touch, descending on his face, tracing the bridge of his nose and then his lips. He scrunched his nose and heard a soft giggle very close to him.

His lips curved into a smile, remembering where he was. In Lucas' bed. With Lucas.

Jens' eyes started to flutter and he began to shift, for once pleased to wake up.

''Morning,'' Lucas said, his breath tickling Jens' neck as he spoke.

He had been waiting for Jens to wake up, trying to pull him from his deep sleep without waking him.

Jens hummed, eyes still closed. ‘’Slept like a baby.’’

‘’Clearly. It’s almost noon,’’ Lucas pointed, kissing Jens’ shoulder.

Jens laughed, this time opening his eyes, grateful that Lucas had thick blinds over his window. The sun was so bright at this time of the day.

‘’You hungry?’’ Lucas asked, propping himself up on his elbow, staring down at the boy in his bed, tangled in his sheets. ‘’I’m not the best cook, but I make amazing toast.’’

‘’You’re offering me breakfast?’’ Jens asked, a bit surprised. ‘’I thought you’d hold me hostage in your room and sneak me out some time later.’’

Lucas pulled his eyebrows, shaking his head. ‘’Why would I do that?’’

It’s what Jana did when we were together.

‘’I’d like some toast.’’

It took them a few more minutes - and a growling warning from Jens’ stomach - before they pulled themselves out of bed and decided to leave Lucas’ bedroom. They went to the kitchen and Lucas began to raid the fridge of anything edible to go along with the toast that he had promised.

“So, where is your dad today?” Jens asked, suddenly reminded that he was only wearing his underwear and a tee shirt in the Van Der Heijdens’ kitchen.

How awkward would it be if Lucas’ dad had been here?

‘’He’s at a congress for his work. Or something.’’ He put slices of bread in the toaster and pushed down the button. ‘’Won’t be back until late afternoon.’’

Nodding, Jens jumped onto the counter and grabbed an apple from the nearby basket and began tossing it in the air, passing time.

A silence filled the kitchen as they waited for the toaster to pop. Jens had an idea of how to fill it, but, truth be told, he was a bit nervous. Yeah, Jens Stoffels was nervous. Shocker, huh? Lucas had this effect on him. He made Jens feel nervous, and excited and warm and out of control - everything at the same time.

‘’Robbe came over yesterday. He...he asked if you were my boyfriend.’’

Lucas stilled, surprised, and took a few seconds before speaking. ‘’Am I?’’

‘’Do you want to be?’’ Jens asked back, setting the apple down and hopping off the counter, eyes set on the back of Lucas’ head where wild curls were sticking up and the moles on the uncovered part of his back.

‘’Do you want me to?’’ Lucas asked, shielding himself as he bit his bottom lip anxiously, hoping Jens will give him the answer he wanted.

‘’I wouldn't have asked if I didn't want to.''

Jens came up behind Lucas and touched his shoulder, making Lucas turn around. The brunet’s face was tipped down, trying to hide his smile and pink cheeks from Jens, but the latter tilted Lucas’ chin up to get a better view of his face.

‘’So, what do you say? Will you officially be my boyfriend?”

Lucas' smile widened and he cupped Jens face, placing a kiss on his lips, as if to make their status official. He had the intention to stop there, going just for a quick kiss, but Jens’ hand slid into Lucas’ hair, fingers buried in the curls, time forgotten as they kissed, slow and lazy.

Grey smoke started coming from the toaster, a burnt smell filling the air, but both went unnoticed by the new couple, too busy in their own bubble. It wasn’t until the smoke detector’s alarm went off, the chirp blaring through the kitchen that Lucas broke from the kiss, eyes wide.

''Shit, the toasts!'' He sped to the toaster and turned it off, making the toasts jump up, completely burnt and past the edible stage of burnt.

Jens followed him behind, snickering. ''I thought you made 'amazing toasts'.'' He picked one up, immediately dropping it on the counter as it burned his fingers. ''This is carbonized.''

Lucas glared. “If you hadn't distracted me…’’

‘’You initiated the kiss!’’ Jens pointed out.

“Only because you got all serious and asked me to be your boyfriend. What was I supposed to do? Stand there?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and exposing his pretty blue eyes.

Jens smiled, watching with amusement as Lucas got mildly irritated over small nothings. He thought it was really cute that their first ‘argument’ was about burnt toast and officially being together.

Extending his arms, Jens reached out for Lucas- his boyfriend and drew him to him, circling his arms around his smaller frame. Lucas exhaled a sigh, hugging Jens' middle and pushing his face into his neck.

''As much as I am liking this, you're gonna have to let me go. Those toasts aren't going to put themselves in the toaster,'' Lucas pointed out, yet not letting go of the other boy.

Jens snorted. ''No shit?''

Lucas pulled back, frowning. ''I thought you were hungry...''

''Yeah, but you can make me breakfast later.’’ Jens loosened his hold and descended his hands down, getting a full grasp of Lucas’ ass, making the latter’s cheeks flush. ‘’This is what I want now. And this.'' He started kissing along Lucas’s jaw, trailing his lips down the side of his neck. ''What time does your dad gets home, again?''

Humming, Lucas tilted his neck, giving Jens more room to kiss, as he tried to remember what his dad had texted him yesterday. ‘’Around 4pm? I think.’’

‘’That’s fine by me.’’

Without taking his lips off Lucas, Jens walked them back in the direction of Lucas’s bedroom, impatient to pull off some layers and get their hands on each other. Lucas giggled as Jens guided him into the hallway table, almost knocking down whatever was on it.

.

Monday, February 10th

The veggies were still a bit crunchy as Jens chewed them, needing a supplementary minute or two of cooking, but Jens didn’t comment on it. The carrots were fine. His mom did the best she could in ten minutes.

‘’Ines is having a sleepover on Saturday,’’ Lotte announced after she was served her dinner, stabbing a carrot with her fork. ‘’Can I go?’’

Fenna pulled her eyebrows. ‘’Didn’t you two have a sleepover this past weekend?’’ With her crazy schedule, she was losing track of time sometimes.

‘’Yeah, but it wasn’t for her birthday. Can I go? Please Mama, she’s my best friend,’’ she begged, pouting and all.

Fenna sighed. Birthdays meant presents and, with their current financial situation, they didn’t have spare money for an impromptu birthday present for Ines. The money Jens had given her had helped, but they still had the eviction notice to worry about and pay before it was too late.

It crushed Fenna’s heart to tell her daughter ‘no’, but maybe it was time she learned the value of money and that she can’t always go to birthday parties.

‘’Lotte, I don’t think-’’

‘’Friday is Valentine’s Day, Lotte.” Jens piped in. “I think Mom and Dad already have plans for the weekend plus, I thought we could do something special together.”

Lotte looked at him, eyebrows pulled together, as if trying to figure out if he was serious. “You’re only asking me because you have nobody else to spend it with.”

Jens couldn’t deny that she was right - half right. Technically, he didn't have someone to spend Valentine's Day with. This weekend fell on Lucas' mom's weekend and he'll be in Utrecht, leaving Jens by himself on Lovers' Day.

All Jens wanted to do was spend this day - of all days - with his new boyfriend, but now was not the time to come out to his family and tell them about Lucas. Plus, it was too early in their relationship to be introduced to each other's parents.

“I’m asking you because you are my favorite girl, next to Mom of course, and I want to do something special with you.”

Fenna tried to hide her laugh at Jens remark.

“Like what?” Lotte asked, still skeptical.

“Well, I was thinking we could bake Valentine's Day cupcakes together and decorate them with pink and red frosting, candies and everything. Maybe we could watch movies too? What about the live-action Aladdin? Or Beauty and the Beast?''

Lotte thought about it for a minute, but before she could give Jens an answer, they heard the front door open and close. Jens glanced at his mom across the table, knowing that it was his dad and Fenna tensed, worried her husband was intoxicated.

Much to their surprise, Mohamed had an unusual smile when he walked into the kitchen. Her seat facing the kitchen entrance, Lotte saw him first and let out a squeal, happy to see her father.

‘’Dad! Dad! I got an 8 on my Math test,’’ Lotte announced proudly. She jumped down from her chair and went to get her test from her backpack.

‘’Careful. Don’t get sauce all over your test, Lotte.’’

Mohamed took the paper, smiling at his daughter, proud of her progress. ‘’Really? That’s amazing, Sweetie. I knew you could do it.’’

‘’Jens helped me a lot. He taught me how to multiplicate because I couldn’t understand what the teacher was doing.’’

He sat at the table and gave a thankful smile to his son.

‘’You hungry? I didn’t know if you were going to be there for dinner so I didn’t make you a plate.’’

‘’I’ll fetch myself a plate, but, first, I have good news.’’ He glanced at his family, the three of them sitting at the dinner table, and smiled. ‘’I...I found a job.’’

‘’You did? Where? How? ’’ Fenna asked, trying to contain her excitement.

‘’A friend of mine told me they needed a new guy at his workplace. I applied and he gave them a good reference about me and...I got the job,’’ he explained simply, crossing the kitchen to stand by his wife. ‘’Things are going to get better now,’’ Mohamed whispered to Fenna, careful so Lotte wouldn’t hear, camouflaging his secret with a kiss on her cheek.

Jens looked at his dad with disbelief and skepticism. He wanted to believe that his dad wasn’t lying, but there was something, something he just couldn’t put his finger on, that made him question this sudden new job. Like, how could he get a job so fast? How come that after weeks - months, even - of searching for a new job that an offer was presented to him so quickly.

.

Tuesday, February 11th

After seeing Lucas coming out of the boys' gym locker room, there was no way Jens was going home without him. Fresh faced, his hair was still damp from the shower he just took, perfect curls resting over his forehead, and he smelled of sweet vanilla soap - and a touch of woodsy Jens didn't recognize.

Without thinking twice, Jens pulled him back into the locker room, not caring if there were still people left, and kissed him hard. Lucas followed willingly, tugging Jens closer by the side of his sweatshirt and smiling into the kiss.

Once they started, they couldn't stop. They could've, but they didn't want to.

Jens felt Lucas’ smile fade as the kiss deepened, becoming more serious somehow, tongues sliding together, becoming a bit too explicit for school.

Conveniently, Jens' phone buzzed in his pocket, a message from his mom saying she was going grocery shopping with Lotte after school.

The timing couldn't have been better.

Jens' hand slid under Lucas' shirt, grazing his stomach, making the hair rise on his skin as they kissed. Their motions were calm and relaxed, kissing languidly, bathing in each other's embrace.

It was a change from their usual horny teenager rhythm, laying there, so close to each other, with no intentions of taking it further than soft kisses and wandering hands.

Lucas pulled Jens closer, rolling them so Jens was on top. He liked this. Feeling Jens' weight, heavy and warm on top of him. His hand was hot against Jens' thigh, the warmth of his palm cutting through the denim.

‘’Do you have weed, by chance?’’ Lucas asked, his voice a soft mumble.

Jens hummed. ‘’Yeah. It’s in the first drawer over there.’’

Lucas smiled and removed himself from under Jens, making the latter whine in protest and grasp at the back of Lucas’ tee shirt, trying to pull him back to him. Lucas laughed. ‘’I forgot mine at my mom’s when I last visited. I had something else on my mind,’’ he explained, glancing at Jens with a knowing smile, flashing back to two weeks ago at the train station.

‘You’re gonna have to roll though, I don't have any pre-rolled joint. There’s a grinder and papers in the back.’’

Jens watched as Lucas crossed the room, hair messy from Jens relentlessly running his hands through it and his tee shirt wrinkled from rolling in the sheets for the past half hour. He smiled smugly, letting himself sink deeper into his pillows, asking himself how he got so lucky.

‘’Did you find it?’’ Jens asked from his spot on the bed, seeing Lucas standing still in front of the open drawer. ‘’Luc?’’

Turning on his heels, the brunet held up a baggie of colorful pills, fingers clutching the plastic tight. ‘’What’s this?’’

Lucas wasn’t an idiot. He knew what those were, but a part of him was hoping that he was wrong. That his boyfriend didn’t have drugs hidden in his drawer.

Fuck.

Jens sat up, panic flashing through his eyes. Shit, shit, shit. ‘’I’m not taking them,’’ he defended immediately.

‘’Then, why is it in your drawers?’’ Lucas demanded, eyes on Jens, expecting further explanations. ‘’This shit is addicting and dangerous. Have you not seen enough deaths caused by Xanax or even Fentanyl?’’

‘’I’m not doing drugs, Luc. I promise.’’

‘’But why do you have them?’’

‘’Because I sell them!’’ Jens felt himself being weighed down at the confession, taking a few steps back and sitting back on his bed. ‘’I sell them…’’ he repeated with a calmer tone, shoulders slumping. ‘’I’m doing this for my family.’’

Stunned and confused, Lucas’ eyebrows furrowed.

‘’About 3 months ago my dad lost his job with no severance pay, so my mom has had to pick up a lot of double shifts at the hospital. She has been stretching herself thin and I couldn't keep watching her-’’

Jens' voice interrupted and Lucas sighed, walking over to sit on the bed, no longer feeling like lecturing his boyfriend about the seriousness of taking drugs. Cert, selling drugs didn't take away the danger, but a lecture wasn't what Jens needed right now, it was support.

Exhaling a breath, Jens casted his eyes down on his lap, trying to gather his thoughts. He wanted to be honest with Lucas, but he wasn’t the only one involved and Jens doubted his parents would want their financial struggles to be spreading around to strangers.

‘’Money started becoming a bigger problem over the past weeks and I didn’t know what else to do. I just knew that I wanted to help. I'm helping a lot at home with my sister, graduation is so close too; it was impossible for me to get a job. So, I took the easy way and started selling drugs.'' Jens paused, scoffing a humorless laugh and shaking his head. ''My mom thinks I sold stuff - that's what I told her. I hate lying to her, but I can't exactly tell her where it came from because I know she won't take the money even though she needs it.''

Family was important for Jens. Especially his mom and sister. He loved his family and would do anything for them, to help them.

''At first, it was just weed, but Michiel convinced me to do more, to expand my sales to pills. He said that it would pay more too, so I accepted.’’

Jens knew Lucas wasn't proud of him, that he didn't approve of his way, but it brought money home, it helped his parents. Even if it was dirty money.

Lucas took Jens’ hands in his, supportive and understanding. ‘’I know you want to help your family, Jens, but this drugs shit isn’t the solution,’’ he said, worry in his tone.

‘’For now it is,’’ Jens pressed. ‘’It's not permanent, okay. I promise. Just until things get easier at home.’’

The world of drugs was anything but safe, but Lucas knew there was nothing he could say that would make Jens backtrack.

He sighed. ‘’Be careful. Please. These guys aren’t fucking around.’’

.

Thursday, February 13th

Tomorrow was Valentine’s Day and Jens still hadn’t found an answer to his question: should he get something for Lucas? They had been official for only four days, but it was Valentine’s Day. Couples get something for their partners regardless how long they’ve been together.

He laid on his back, staring at his ceiling in hope to find his answer. He didn't want to go for the cheesy rose or chocolate - even though Lucas and his sweet tooth would’ve loved chocolate. He couldn't draw like Sander or write cute poems like girls often do.

Jens sighed. And he thought buying a Christmas present for a secret santa was difficult/tricky/complicated; this was far worse.

A soft vibration shook his mattress and Jens reached for his phone.

Aaron: Anyone has a red shirt to lend me for tomorrow?

Jens: Shit. The Valentine’s Day theme…

Tomorrow, in honor of Valentine’s Day, their school’s had a themed dress code where the students had to wear something pink or red. It sounded a bit childish, something Lotte’s school would’ve done, but Jens had no choice but to participate. It wasn’t really a problem for him though, having a lot of red shirts in his closet.

Moyo: Are you wearing pink tomorrow, Robbe?

Robbe: Not all gays wears pink, you know 😑

Moyo: 😘

Moyo: Are we going to the bar again this year? There’s always hot chicks looking to hook up on Valentine’s Day

Robbe: Can’t. Sander made plans, but he didn’t tell me. I asked for something chill. Staying in is fine with me. As long as we’re together, I don’t care what we’re doing

Aaron: Sap 🤮

Robbe: 🖕🏻

Robbe: And you, with Amber?’’

Aaron: We’re going to the movies. They have a special screening of The Notebook and Valentine’s Day. I’m also going to get flowers for her

Jens: Wow, I would’ve never thought you were the romantic type

Aaron: Amber told me exactly what she wanted to do

Moyo: Of course she did

Aaron: You’re just jealous because you’re the only single person this year

Moyo: Fuck you all 🖕🏻

Moyo: And you, Jens, any plans with the mystery girl?

Jens: Yeah. Her name’s Lotte

Moyo: As in your sister?

Moyo: Dude you have to babysit? That fucking blows!!

Jens: I would rather spend time with her all evening than watch your ass get rejected by girls all evening and then come crying to me about it

Robbe: 😂

Aaron: 😂👏

Moyo: 🖕🏻

Jens: You can join us though. We’re going to make cupcakes

Moyo: Can we put weed in it?

Jens: Wtf? She’s 8 bro...

.

Friday, February 14th

‘’I left a rose in Amber’s locker this morning,’’ Aaron told the boys at lunch, bragging about his superior romanticism.

Robbe shook his head. ‘’And I’m the sap?’’

‘’It’s romantic! The girls will go all ‘aw’ when she’ll show them. I think they’re jealous.’’

‘’So you’re doing this to impress Amber’s friends?’’ Jens recapitulated, messing with his friend.

Aaron opened his mouth to defend himself, stopping mid-way when he realized Jens had tricked him and didn't know how to respond to that. ‘’No! I did it for Amber. She likes romantic gestures.’’

Moyo and Robbe laughed, pulling out their lunches from their bag while Aaron was already almost done with his. How can he be finished so fast? They just got here. Jens was about to do the same when his pocket began to vibrate.

Lucas: Meet me in the library 💋📚

Jens didn’t take a second to think, taking his bag from the chair next to him and stood. ‘’Gotta go. I’ll catch you guys later.’’

‘’Where are you going? We just sat down like ten minutes ago,’’ Robbe asked.

Jens bit down his lip, trying to think fast of a quick lie, but Moyo beat him to it and spoke first.

‘’I bet you’re meeting up with that Tuesday chick to make out,’’ he guessed, raising his eyebrows and making kissy noises.

‘’I knew there was a mystery girl!’’ Aaron added, a bit too cheerful.

Jens snorted, shaking his head. ‘’You wish.’’

Jens walked in the library and smiled politely at the librarian at the front desk. He didn’t go there...ever so she was probably confused to see a new face. He walked along the aisle, trying to look for Lucas’ table among the sea of pink and red students.

The library wasn't too crowded - not that Jens knew how many people came here daily. He recognized a few people he had classes in common with but kept going. His heart began to race, a tightening feeling in his stomach, when he saw the head of curls in the pink sweatshirt. Jens smiled, sneaking up on him.

‘’Aren’t you supposed to be studying?’’ Jens seductively whispered in his ear.

A shiver ran down Lucas’ spine and the brunet looked up, blue eyes staring at Jens, pencil between his teeth. He had a pile of books and papers strategically placed according to all his exams up for re-do because of his mid-year move.

Lucas put his pencil down and grinned, happy to see his boyfriend. ‘’Yeah, but I figured I could use a break,’’ he said, raising an eyebrow.

Reading through his thoughts, Jens smirked and Lucas stood, beckoning Jens to follow him to the back shelves of the library. It was cliché and risky, knowing they’ll both get kicked out if they get caught kissing between stacks, but they didn’t care.

Lucas backed up until he touched the wall behind him, reaching for Jens and tugging him down for a kiss, hands bunching up the material of his hoodie.

‘’Cute.’’

Lucas cocked an eyebrow. ‘’Me?’’

Jens rolled his eyes. ‘’That too.’’ He set his hands on Lucas’ waist, slipping under his sweatshirt and pulling him closer. ‘’I meant your sweatshirt. You look good in pink.’’ Jens dipped his head and kissed under his ear, making Lucas tilt his head back to make more room.

‘’That’s why I wore it today. I know you like it on me.’’

‘’It’s the one you wore at the skatepark. After our first kiss.’’

How could Jens not remember that moment? Lucas in a pink oversized sweatshirt, sunlight shining on him on top of the half-pipe. The sleeves were covering his hands a bit, fingers peeking out, looking cute as hell.

‘’I did?’’ Lucas asked, not remembering well.

Jens hummed, pressing his forehead against Lucas’, feeling the Lucas’ hands slide into his hair.

‘’Sucks that my first Valentine’s Day as a non-single person I have to be away from my boyfriend,’’ Lucas lamented with a sad sigh.

Jens was sad too, but he didn’t show it, not wanting to make Lucas feel more upset about spending Valentine's Day miles away from each other. Instead, he captured Lucas’ lips with his, cupping his jaw and deepening the kiss, making the brunet forget about tonight. Pressing himself closer to Jens, Lucas let out a small sound that was a bit too loud and inappropriate for a secret library make out session.

As Jens’ hands were starting to travel south towards Lucas’ backside, a large crash came from the otherside of the library, making Jens and Lucas jump apart from each other. Lucas went to the end of the row to see what was going on.

“Someone knocked over a book cart.”

Looking at the time on his phone, Jens groaned. “The bell is about to ring. Will I see you before you leave?”

“I’m catching an early train so I’ll be leaving before my last class.”

Jens sighed, not to pleased that he wasn’t going to give Lucas a proper send off. ‘’See you Sunday, then?’’

Lucas nodded, pressing one last kiss to Jens’ lips. ‘’Sunday.’’

.

Lotte ditched him. His little sister ditched him for her best friend whose birthday party she couldn’t attend on Saturday. After telling Ines the tearable news, the little girl decided to invite Lotte over and have a Valentine’s Day girls night to make up for her non attendance.

That left Jens by himself on Friday night - on Valentine’s Day night.

His mom was at work - and hopefully his dad too. It was weird to see him get ready in the morning and go to work, having a routine again. He’d drop Lotte off every morning, her school being on his way, and come back around dinner time or later depending on the day.

Sitting on his couch with a bag of chips, Jens flipped through the channels, trying to find something to watch. He rolled his eyes when seeing only bad cheesy movies like Valentine’s Day and The Notebook. And the news.

With a sigh, Jens sent a message to Moyo.

Jens: Wanna come over? My plans got cancelled

Moyo: Can’t bro. There’s so many hot chicks here. Tonight is a good night for me, I can feel it!!

Moyo: Come to the bar!

Jens scrunched his face. He didn’t feel like going to a bar tonight. He didn’t have money for drinks and didn’t feel like dancing and grinding himself against girls - or anyone else other than his boyfriend. If Robbe and Aaron would’ve been there, maybe Jens would’ve reconsidered. But, they weren’t.

He didn’t bother texting Moyo back, sinking into the couch’s back pillows and checking his social media, trying to cure his boredom. Sander had posted a cute selfie of him and Robbe on their date, making Jens smile. He liked the post and scrolled down to the next picture. Aaron had posted on his Instagram too, a picture of a popcorn and movie theater seats, telling everyone how in love he was with Amber.

Seeing his friends on dates with their respective lovers reminded Jens how he was the only one of the gang to not spend his night with his significant other. It hadn’t even been 8 hours since Lucas had left Antwerp and, already, he was missing his beautiful face.

Jens stood, dusting off the crumbs on his shirt and headed to his room, taking advantage of his parents’ absence to smoke a joint. It’s not like he had anything better to do.

Opening his drawer, Jens saw that he was all out of weed and groaned. He must’ve forgot to keep some for himself and sold everything. He scratched for the back of the drawer, hoping a couple grams had fallen there, but there was none. Fuck.

Mom: Can you pick up Lotte in the morning? I have to do a double and won't be home in time

Jens: Can’t Dad do it?

Mom: He has work

Jens: On the weekend?

Mom: Yes, on the weekend

Mom: Will you pick her up? Please

Jens sighed, missing the old days.

Can’t he just be a teenager for once? He missed the days where he could hangout at Robbe's or Moyo's and do nothing but drink and smoke, partying all weekend. When he got wasted enough, he would just sleep it off and not have to worry about babysitting his sister or his secret side job to help his parents. It was so simple and easy back then...

He almost grabbed his phone and called Moyo for backup, knowing he’ll have some at home, but the latter was at the bar, most likely drunk. And, Jens would have to explain why he was out of weed and why he needed it now. It’s not that he was ashamed of his anxieties, everyone has anxieties, but it wasn't something he wanted to scream on rooftops, never being one to be overly emotional.

Jens was a chill person. Always so calm and collected, easygoing; not much can ruffle his feathers. But, lately, his stress levels have been getting higher and he wasn’t used to so much stress in his life.

With his father's job loss, a lot of other things started to tumble down like an avalanche. Their finances had slowed down, but the bills were piling up, adding to the already tumbling snow. His father's lack of responsibility and empty promises were catching up to them and his mom was exhausted, trying to make up for his mistakes. Jens was trying to hold it back, to help where he could, but there was only so much he could do to prevent the avalanche from swallowing his family.

With time, Jens began to feel the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Despite his best attempts at adulting, teenagers usually don’t have the skills or the brain development necessary to really care for themselves or a full family. Because their brain is still in development - and will only be fully developed around their mid-twenties -, they are more vulnerable to anxiety and stress. There are many moments where they don’t know what they were doing. Frustration mixed with a lack of ability when it comes to 'adulting’ raises teenage anxiety levels.

Keeping everything straight in his mind was difficult. He had to help his parents keep everything from Lotte and take care of her here and there, maintaining good grades, figuring out all these new inclinations regarding his sexuality and falling in love with Lucas.

All of this was overwhelming sometimes.

Without realizing, Jens had found himself self medicating to relieve his stress. Weed, which used to be recreational, was now used to significantly reduce stress and was no longer just for fun.

Even Lucas had become a stress relief without meaning to. With his gorgeous smile and bright eyes, Jens couldn’t help but smile whenever he was in his presence.

Usually, he would lit a blunt and smoke a bit of weed, but when he was all out.

As a last resort, Jens glanced at the baggie of Xanax. He stared at the rectangular white pill, hesitating. He had never taken it before, but he knew it was medically used to ease the mind and calm anxiety, a stress reliever. Just like weed. Taking one pill wouldn’t hurt, right?

He grabbed one from the baggie and popped it into his mouth, swallowing dry.

[chris-evans-imagine]

Forever Crush

A/n: I guess I’m a sucker for post-christmas writing, I love the holiday bubble lol. This was actually a request I loved and it took me a while to make it the way I wanted it’s long, 2500+. I hope you like it.

Request: I have a Chris Evans imagine request. It’s actually a crazy dream I had the other day. So the person is Chris’s sisters nanny for the kids, more just to keep them occupied while she is doing things around the house. Christ tries to work his Hollywood charm but doesn’t faze you. On Christmas Eve, you end up under the mistletoe with Chris. You can add more too! Thank you! I love your stuff ❤️

Warnings: long one-shot. Cursing, drinking. And fluff…

 “Mac and cheese again?” you asked to little Luca. He winked and showed that hole in his smile that made your heart melt. He was a little beau.

“I like your mac and cheese, dad’s just so… urgh!” you couldn’t agree more, that’s why he laughed when you wrinkled your nose when the memory of the organic or whatever shit it was. That was everything but mac and cheese. Of course you had discussed with Scott Luca’s diet, he had a few requests which you always considered. Except for mac and cheese.

Scott and Jeremy had been your neighbors since you got to the building, having them as neighbors was delightful and they thought the same about you since you babysat their son every once in a while.

Today was one of those days, he was in your place. Scott was supposed to pick him up by dinner, but you knew that Christmas shopping would take him way longer. That’s why the little rascal was helping you out with dinner for two.

Your phone rang interrupting your favorite song.

“It’s your dad”

“Which one?” he asked while he licked the spoon. You smiled, maybe he wasn’t biological but he had Scott’s sassiness.

“Hey” you picked up.

“Hey, doll. How are you two doing?” Scott asked.

“We’re fine, we’re about to have dinner… how’s shopping going?”

“Oh, it’s a mess, people everywhere, we haven’t finished… I just called to tell you that my brother just got to town, he’s going to pick Luca up. And tomorrow we have a dinner, we’d love you to have you there, y/n.”

“Okay, which brother?” you asked expecting not to hear certain name but since you were aware he only had one brother, you obviously knew the answer.

“Chris, duh. Hey, what are you having for dinner?”

“Just a healthy meal, baby” you sounded as sarcastic as you could be.

“Please, don’t be mac and cheese”

“It’s mac and cheese” you laughed.

“God… don’t make my boy…” you cut him out.

“Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow, hope you finish soon, say goodbye to your dad”

“Bye, daddy” Luca screamed.

“You two are killing me, bye”

Luca was such an easy weight, he was all over dinner and sleep. He was sleeping on your lap while you watched Friends, it was around 9 when the doorbell rang. You moved him softly and put a cushion on his head. His blonde straight hair spread all over.

And when you opened the door, there was another blonde.

“Hello” he gave you a half smile, the one that he could use in a photoshoot. The one he could have practiced for ages to make it as perfect and irresistible as it could be.

“Hey, Chris, Luca’s asleep.” You let him in. your door wasn’t small, that’s why you couldn’t understand how he dare to invade your personal space.

“I figured. Scott told me you had his spare key, do you mind if I go and open the door and then pick him up?”

“No, it’s fine. Wait” you left him in the living room. You were a nice person, and somehow, Chris just made you feel so small and so… boring? You didn’t like it. That was one of the reasons you tried to keep your distance. He looked so arrogant and so untouchable, you were just… done. You just didn’t need that.

You took the key from the cabinet and turned just to face a steel chest.

“I… hum, told you to wait?” you asked looking at him.

“Yeah, sorry. I guess I got distracted by your Christmas decorations. It’s really nice, huh.”

“Thanks. Here’s the key”

“Thanks, beautiful.” He had that look. The one that I can strip you here and make you mine, kind of look. You were so over it.

“Stop the act, Christopher” you demanded “it’s just the two of us, dude”

“I’m not acting, I think you’re beautiful”

“How? You don’t even…” you couldn’t reach the right word.

“What?”

“Have seen me.” you murmured and started walking towards the couch.

“I have, I’ve seen plenty of you. Your hair, it’s kind of red when on the sunlight. You have a birth mark on your hand and you trace it with your fingers when you’re thinking, and you are beautiful. You’ve got a beautiful face and a beautiful ass.” You stopped and turned to look at him. You could scream but there was an infant sleeping.

“WHAT?” you articulated but didn’t scream, didn’t know if you wanted to punch him or you just wanted to laugh. Or kick your own ass.

“I’ve seen you, that’s what I mean. Maybe I went too far” he scratched his head and smiled looking at the wood floor.

“How dare you? You were just doing fine, telling me those things and you screwed it up with the last part. No, no, how dare you to look at my butt?! That’s the real question. Your nephew it’s on the couch”

“Have done it before and won’t be the last time” he smiled as big as he could, he had beaten you up on this battle.

“I hate you” you murmured while he picked up Luca. Yeah, you hated how handsome he looked with a little boy on his strong arms.

_________

“I’m telling you, I was a jerk” Chris spoke as Scott cleaned the mess his son had left.

“You usually are when you’re with her, man. Why can’t you just be… you?” Chris took a long sip of his beer. The truth was he didn’t even know how to act in front of her. That… just came.

The first time he saw her, she had curled up watching Disney movies with Luca. He had come over to visit his family, Scott opened and when Chris when straight up to look for his nephew, he was just cuddled up with the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. He felt jealous of a 5 years-old. She was just... different. And so was he when they had an actual conversation.

He was a jerk. He was just… not him. He felt like he needed to impress her since she wasn’t the kind of woman he usually met. He didn’t know how to reach the level of a woman like that.

He would never forget her look when she woke up. Her hair was undone, her sleepy face made her look like an angel, and he couldn’t feel more attracted to the beautiful creature that was walking towards him.

“Hello” she spoke first.

“Hey, this is my brother Chris, did Luca wake up?”

“Nice to meet you, Chris” she reached his hand and smiled, the freckles and a dimple showed. Like if it was a sky at night, with its stars and moon. “Luca’s still asleep, I think I’ll go to my place to sleep too…”

“Need any company?” The words just came out of his mouth. There was an awkward silence between Chris, y/n and Scott.

“I’m fine, thanks” she spoke. “See ya, baby” she kissed Scott’s cheek and waved goodbye to Chris, there was no way she’d get closer to him. Not now, not ever.

________________

 Doorbell.

Saying hello.

A glass of wine.

And abort the mission.

You had thought about the plan for tonight’s dinner.

Except that it wasn’t going to work out at all. How did you know it? Well, you didn’t expect HE would opened the door, since he was another guest, right? But he did, he was in front of you, tall, dark and beautiful.

“You look…”

“Don’t say beautiful” you warned and he smiled. He knew he’d need to improve his game. Or at least, just try to be himself.

“I was going to say spectacular. May I help you with your coat?” you rose your eyebrow and nodded. “I’m sorry for what I said last night” he spoke, you crossed your arms and watched him move

“It’s okay, I don’t want things to be awkward” and that was the new plan, just let things go. Easy? Nope.

“I meant it, tho”

“Oh, my God” you walked away looking for that urgent glass of wine.

You chatted with the people that was around. but still, it was one of those days when even small talk made you feel like you needed something stronger than wine. Lucky for you, you knew where Scott kept the grown-ups boose.

You pour a Scotch and... That was it. Plan B.

_____________

“Should I be worried?” Scott asked Chris.

“Why?” he asked drinking his beer.

“She’s… tipsy, I’ve only seen her drunk twice”

“I’ll take care of her. When everything gets… fuzzy I’ll take her home”

“No way! She hates you” Scott remembered to Chris. The older brother looked at you across the room, you were smiling and talking. You laughed. He loved your laugh.

“And you are the host, you can’t leave. And I’ll be good, I promise. I won’t drink anymore so I’ll be wide awake”

“Okay” Scott accepted. “Take care of her, Chris. I’m telling you”

________________

You went to the kitchen and it was like Luca had left all his Legos, you walked dodging… anything. You were just tipsy.

Something fell. You knew something had fallen, you hit it with your elbow. You stopped and swirl looking for it. But you got dizzy, lucky for you, you weren’t alone.

“I got you, come on” someone grabbed your waist and make you sat on the counter.

“I’m fine, I just want to go home” you spoke. You were like a spoiled little girl, before the lecture when she’d misbehaved.

“Okay, let’s get your coat”

“Chris, I don’t need you. I can go on my own, I live across the hall” you pointed and he rose his eyebrows.

“I’ll just walk you and make sure you’re okay”

“You don’t have to do that. I’m fine, super-duper fine”

“Okay” if he had known something it was that he’d never should argue with someone drunk. “I’ll just help you with your purse”

“Yeah” you agreed.

He helped you to pick up your coat and as he had told you, he had your purse.

“I don’t get it” you spoke out of the blues.

“What?”

“You’re just so good and nice and then you’re a jerk with me. You come here and then play your stupid Hollywood act. I don’t like it, I don’t like you.” You stopped and pointed at his chest.

“What?”

“Yeah! You come here and it’s funny, like hilarious because Scott adores you and so does Luca and they tell me the most amazing things about you and then” you stopped and looked right through his eyes, you felt absolutely exposed but brave to throw the next words “and then you’re not the crush I thought I had” you smile and sigh.

Chris can barely breathe. His hands are sweaty, his mind has just blown. He’s an actor. He’s done plenty of movies were the adrenaline goes from 0 to 100 in a sec. but this, this is just so different.

“I said you were my… crush, until I met you and” you were about to cry, you lean your head back to hold the tears. “I’m definitely drunk”

“Y/n”

“Don’t say anything, I just want to go home, dude. Just let it go, it’s amazing just to say it, like, I feel free and… sad, and” you weren’t able to finish when you threw up on his top designer shoes.

After that. Everything was a blur.

___________

Fucking light.

Fucking sun.

Fucking hangover.

Fucking Chris.

You were on your bed, it was after noon and you were just opening your eyes. You buried yourself on the covers. You felt awful.

You had a note and a pharmacy bag on your night stand.

“Thank you for ruin Chris’s favorite shoes. S”

“What did I do?” you asked to yourself. You woke up, dud part of your usual routine and called Scott. He didn’t pick up.

After two hours of feeling sick, horrible and guilty as fuck, you decided to apologize to Chris and ask what had happened.

The moment you opened the door was like flashbacks.

You pressed the doorbell and Scott showed up.

“I’m sorry” you murmured covering your face.

“No, it’s okay, darling… but I think you should talk to Chris”

“Why? Did he tell you anything?” he nodded. “Tell me”

“No, it’s time you two talk”

“But I don’t want to” you made puppy face and he grabbed your waist. “I feel like I did something horrible. You used my key to get me sober somehow and I don’t even remember”

“Nothing bad happened, I promise, but you’ll feel better if you hear it from him” he closed the door behind you.

“Fine, where is him?” you asked.

“He’s on the living room”

Every step you took felt like you were about to jump on a cliff of hell. It felt like you were about to burn. You saw him playing with Luca, the little kid ran towards you and hugged your legs.

“Hey, love” you hugged him back. Unable to look at Chris.

“Come on, Luca, let’s leave them alone”

You sighed and tried to walk towards him but your feet were now drilled on the floor.

“so, I’m sorry, I don’t remember much, but I think I insulted you and called you names and I think I threw up and…”

“you only remember the bad parts, huh?” he stood in front of you, you looked at him. he looked different.

“You did call me names, you did threw up and you called me your crush”

“I did what?” you replied. Why? Why? Why?

“yeah, you told me a nice story, I was holding your hair while you threw up on the toilet.”

“What did I tell you” you walked away, to try to keep your distance, he respected that and started talking.

“You told me that the first time we met you almost met and then you froze by how asshole I was. And you were right I was a jerk, I guess I was trying to impress you but… I don’t know. And then you told me you even had imagined our first kiss. Can I ask you something?”

“Yeah”

“What if we had everything for that to happen? What if we start all over?” you turn around to see him under a mistletoe he was holding above his head.

“Chris…”

“You’ve been my forever crush, y/n. but now I’m madly, crazy, deeply in love with you”

You walked towards him and crossed your arms around his neck, he leaned to kiss you. He remembered it, the stupid kiss under the mistletoe.

His lips were sweet and delicate. That kiss was like a Hollywood kiss, just perfect. He compass of his lips on yours. You two slowly split.

“You still owe me a pair of shoes”

“Shut up” he leaned to kiss you again.

[tryingtobeclassy]

park seonghwa . . . night time rides : part II

part i.

genre: Seonghwa x female!reader, a bit of San x reader as well, college au, roommate au

description: You always loved taking late night car rides with your friends. But before you know it, they turned into sessions of you whining and them enjoying the drama and trying to offer advice how to win over one of your roommate’s closest friends you were crushing on like an idiot.

word count: 2.3 k

warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking

.         .         .          .          .

“Holy shit”, Zia said, still processing the story of you ending up kissing San. “When I said don’t bother us until there’s kissing involved, this wasn’t what I meant.”

“At least you got some action after a while”, Luca commented looking over his nails.

“LUCA”, Zia snapped at him.

“I screwed up, didn’t I?”

“You did”, Luca answered immediately, “but don’t worry. I think it shouldn’t be a problem that’s impossible to fix.”

You muttered something not sure whether to agree or not. The car was gliding through the rain, your hands gripping the wheel as if your life depended on it.

“Did you try talking to him?” Zia asked.

“Kinda. I tried making some kind of eye contact or something first but he was completely ignoring me the entire night.”

“Well look on the bright side”, Luca started again and both you and Zia braced yourselves for something stupid, “at least you know he likes you enough to act so hurt over it.”

“I don’t know, dude”, you said unsure of what to actually think.

“We’ll think of something.”

Your mind wandered away leaving Zia and Luca chattering behind as a simple background noise. You thought about the kiss. If it were different circumstances you wouldn’t have anything against it. If he weren’t Seonghwa’s friend and if Seonghwa hasn’t seen you in the middle of the act, maybe you could’ve kept it as a positive memory. Cause after all it was a good kiss. But a kiss that lead you into an uncomfortable situation that you didn’t know how to get out of. You had to talk to San. You had to somehow talk to Seonghwa as well. But you had no idea how to do that. Or what to say.

A few days later you were lying on your bed while Zia was sitting next to you and searching for something on her phone.

“Did you smooth things out with San?” she asked, breaking the silence.

“I guess”, you said, the memory of the talk you had with him the other day coming back. “When I approached him to talk, he spoke before I even managed to grab a hold of my own thoughts. He apologized for invading my space like that and going over the line. Something about being drunk.”

“And?” Zia raised an eyebrow as she looked at you.

“And he said he hopes things won’t be awkward from now on and that we could just stay friends.”

“Well lucky you. You didn’t even have to do any talking.”

Despite things with San going back to normal, it didn’t make you feel like you could relax again. You still felt tense. As if there’s a tight knot that formed in your stomach and simply isn’t letting go. It might’ve been that simple with San, but you felt as if it wouldn’t be the same when it comes to Seonghwa. The first step would have to be to even get him in private for a bit but that seems impossible considering he came over to your place only once after that and completely ignored you every time you’d be close. He was here tonight but you simply didn’t feel like doing anything if he’s gonna be giving you an icy glare the entire time. And even if you did manage to get some alone time – what would you even say? I’m sorry. You technically didn’t do anything wrong. You two aren’t in a relationship or in the process of going on dates. You just had a weird moment in the elevator when you got closer than you should have. Yet you still feel like you fucked up in a way an apology is needed.

You let out the deepest sigh of frustration making Zia pat your back slightly. “It’s gonna be fine. Trust me.” And unlike usually, her voice sounded warm and reassuring.

You stayed in your positions for a little while longer. Zia trying to start a conversation over a movie both of you recently saw to try and make your thoughts shift somewhere else. But soon enough she got up and took her stuff, ready to go home.

“Want me to drive you?” you asked noticing rain has started falling outside.

“That would actually be lovely, thank you”, she smiled happily.

You were too lazy to put on any proper pants so you just stayed in shorts and put on the biggest hoodie you could find that was clean over it. Grabbed your keys and you were on your way.

“Joong, I’m driving Zia home. I’ll be back in a bit”, you announced to the living room where he was seated with Seonghwa who yet again didn’t bother to give you even a glance.

You even grabbed the door knob when suddenly Hongjoong yelled, “How convenient! Do you think you could give Seonghwa a ride as well?”

You felt as if someone kicked you in the throat with all their might. “Why don’t you drive him? He’s your friend”, you replied sounding meaner than you’d want.

“My car’s being repaired.”

“I’ll go home with the bus. It’s not that big of a deal”, Seonghwa got into the conversation, a forced smile on his face.

“Don’t be absurd”, Hongjoong waved his hand. “It’s a disaster outside thanks to the rain. Besides you and Zia even live in the same neighbourhood. It shouldn’t be a problem for you, right y/n?”

“It’s no problem at all”, Zia answered quickly instead. “The more, the merrier.”

“See?” Hongjoong added looking at his friend.

Neither you nor Seonghwa looked happy with the situation. But neither of you had a proper argument as to why this was an idea you two didn’t like. So minutes later, the three of you were in the car. Zia even letting him sit in the front besides you which Luca never had the luxury to experience. The car was uncomfortably silent. Even the heavy rain hitting the car didn’t help it to feel any less heavy.

Zia didn’t seem all that bothered as she was killing time on the phone. Probably not sure herself what to say in this situation or how to start a conversation that wouldn’t immediately be shut down. She was the first one to leave the car. Her little goodbye broke the silence before it wrapped the entire car yet again.

You were slowly driving through the streets. One reason being the rain was getting insane. And another the fact you wanted to buy more time with him since you actually did get what you were trying to achieve. But a new problem rose as you had no clue what to say.

“So what’s up with you and San? That was kind of random, don’t you think?” he said and you felt your heart jump to your throat.

He started the talk. Now it was just your job to choose the right words.

“Nothing’s up. He just kissed me for a moment that’s it.”

“He kissed you?”

“Why are you making that question sound like I’m the one going around constantly kissing people?” you asked slightly angry.

“I was just curious.”

“Why don’t you ask him about it? He’s your friend, isn’t he?”

“I did”, he said completely silently that you weren’t sure if your ears are maybe deceiving you. He didn’t say anything after that and the atmosphere just became unbearable.

“It didn’t mean anything”, you added quietly after a while.

“You could’ve pushed him away.”

You weren’t sure where this was going but for some reason you felt like the route it took was straight towards shit and it was urgently needed for the conversation to take a different one.

“Why are you even so concerned over who I kiss?” you asked knowing it was a question that could corner him into finally admitting his feelings or a question that could throw anything between you two over a cliff. You held the wheel tighter while beads of sweat started forming on your forehead. This was it. You could simply wait in suspense which route he chooses to go.

“I thought you wanted to kiss me”, he said, his voice raised making it sound like he was saying something that was completely obvious.

You accidentally made a turn too sharp as surprise hit you over the face like a slap.

“Well, uh… That depends.”

“What?” he asked confused. “Depends on what?”

“Did you want to kiss me?”

He pushed his body back into his seat. “I mean this in the nicest way possible but you’re an idiot.”

And just as he said that you stopped on the small parking lot that was covered with a roof right across his building, rain finally stopping to pour over the car. Silence now became deafening as both of you just sat there for a few moments not saying anything.

You turned your head to face him. “I’m –“

But before you managed to say anything further you felt his warm hand cup your cheek and before you even realized his lips touched yours. Your body automatically reacted, leaning closer to him, cursing the entire gear area that was leaving you apart. His lips felt soft. His kisses gentle and sweet just like him. You felt the knot in your stomach finally untie. An explosion of euphoria crossed in your head. This was it. This was the kiss you were hoping for and imagining all this time.

After a short while he broke the kiss. “This isn’t working”, he said shortly and exited the car. You were in the happiest place just a moment ago, but the picture felt like it shattered into a million pieces while his words lingered in your mind.

Did you do something wrong? What’s not working? You followed him with your eyes as he was circling around the car. You thought he was about to leave but instead he opened your door and softly grabbed your hand into his and pulled you out.

“I thought you were gonna leave”, you said while feeling like you’re about to cry.

“I’m sorry”, he smiled gently. The moment you were on your feet, he put his hands on your hips, pulling you closer into him. “I probably should’ve worded that better.”

His lips crashed against yours once again but this time it wasn’t just a soft kiss that had a barrier stopping it. This one felt passionate. His tongue touched your lips for a second before it collided with your own. His hands were hugging your entire body pulling you as close as possible as if he was afraid you would slip away. Your own hands thrown around his neck, one tangled in his soft hair.

You felt like you could’ve stayed like that forever. Just kissing him under a small roof as rain went crazy around you. It felt perfect. It felt like more than you ever expected.

Time was at that moment irrelevant and it was hard to say how many minutes passed once you finally pulled away from each other, gasping for some air. His hands still softly laid on your hips, his hooded eyes looking into your own.

“Would you like to come over for a bit?” he asked cautiously as if being afraid he might be too direct.

A bright smile formed on your lips. “Sounds better than being cold here.”

Despite his building being just across the street, the rain was falling so heavily both of you got wet. His apartment was small but cute. A smell you couldn’t quite identify was spreading through the air. It was a nice smell. Somehow made the apartment feel even cozier. He disappeared into his room for a moment leaving you in the living room.

“Here”, he said once he snuck back. He threw a clean shirt towards you and turned around.

You looked at him for a second before taking off your wet hoodie and putting on his dry shirt. The shirt also had that sweet and warm smell.

“You can turn around now.”

“You look cute in that”, he said the moment he turned around and not subtly at all checked you out.

Both of you made yourselves comfortable in the small sofa. Not really doing much. Just talking. Enjoying each other’s company. At one point his hand slowly wandered to your thigh. His hand warm against you naked skin. For once you were grateful for your laziness and the fact it got you to stay in shorts. But that simple touch was enough to push the conversation into a completely different direction. Which is a dead end. Cause there was no conversation.

Your hand reached for his cheek pulling it gently towards you. You almost shyly brushed your lips against his before he leaned forward and took you into another hungry kiss. His lips each time felt more like they were a perfect puzzle part to your own. Each time it felt more and more perfect.

His hand was still on your thigh, suddenly gripping your leg and pulling it over his body, making you gracefully land it his lap. You felt his warm hands on your legs, sometimes his long fingers wandering a bit under your shorts. He was kissing your lips, your neck. Every touch, every kiss he laid on you felt like it was filled with passion and fire. One of your hands got behind his head, pulling him closer into you. Closer into another kiss. The other one sneakily got under his shirt and you could feel his shoulder muscles flexing.

You pulled away for a moment. Both of you silently panting. Your head swinged forward and your forehead softly leaned on his making his lips widen into one of his most beautiful smiles.

There would be a lot to tell Zia and Luca the next time you get in the car. But for now they weren’t important. You got what you wanted. You got a perfect moment. You got the man you liked. And nothing ever felt as good as being able to give and take countless more kisses.

end.